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speechlessxx · 4 years

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In The Rain. (Chris Evans x Reader)

Summary: Can a classic case of miscommunication be solved before the rain puts out the flickering light of love?

Warnings: trash. lmao. this is better than my radio silence, so... lol... fluffy, angsty (you know the drill)

Word Count: ~2k

The lights flickered for only a second when the bright streaks that painted the sky were followed by deafening claps of thunder that shook your house. The rain was heavy as it pounded against the windows and the harsh winds were no kinder, but they were nothing compared to storm brewing within you.

A deep sigh escaped you as the blanket around your shoulders slipped off and pooled around your waist. You had a warm coffee in one hand and a book in the other while you sat at your reading nook watching the dark sky. It was a collection of poetry with several multicolored Post-It flags sticking out from its pages. Each color represented a feeling a poem elicited, and you found yourself flipping to those with a dark blue flag – the color of sorrow, heartbreak, sadness. In all honesty, it was self-pity.

You weren’t sure why you lingered for so long. Nothing but history and memories were keeping you in his life. The amicable breakup left you detached yet still attached to him. And what made everything worse was that you were still in love with Chris.

The breakup shocked those closest to you. You and Chris were – well … – the most unsuspecting perfect match. You were two completely different souls that balanced one another out. You complemented one another – hell, you completed each other. You were two independent entities that pushed the other to become a better version of themselves. The energy shared between you was radiant and the love was consuming. It was pure and unfiltered. Passionate. You weren’t one to believe in true love – in soulmates, or even twin flames – but then you met Chris and everything changed.

But like all matches – like all flames – they burn out.

You blamed it on anxiety – on expectations. You never had a long-lasting relationship. Chris was the first man you ever felt a true connection to – and that scared you more than you let on.

He was nearing 40 – the ripe age to settle down, to have a family. Although you were certain you wanted that with Chris, you weren’t sure if you wanted that now. Your reluctance had you absentmindedly push him away. You began to untether yourself to him. Untangling the beautiful, strong bond you once had until it was nothing but a single thread.

Although it was you that started to pull away, it was Chris who vocalized his unhappiness. It was Chris who instigated. The night you broke up, he refused to listen to your worries and your reasons for your sudden aloofness. “Do you even love me?” He asked you, but he didn’t wait for a response. You already blamed yourself – and it hurt twice as much when he blamed you, too.

It shocked you when you found out he told friends and family the breakup was mutual… because it was Chris who severed it … The supposedly mutual breakup kept an open door of communication for your families. While your family never bothered Chris or his kin, Scott constantly reached out to you, as well as his mother. They’d often invite you to house parties, dinners, karaoke nights… When you’d decline – finding it was a bit of a territory breach – they’d always claim Chris wouldn’t make an appearance but he always did.

Although you were broken up, you were forced to remain friends. You were forced to look at him across a dining table as if you didn’t know his deepest secrets. You spoke casually as if you never spent late nights unburdening your souls to one another. You acted as if you were friends that were never completely in love with each other.

You remembered the phone call from Scott this morning. He relayed a message from their mom, asking you to come to dinner. When you declined, Scott demanded for a reasonable answer. He often found, “I’m your brother’s ex-girlfriend” a useless excuse.

“I still love him, and it hurts because we’re pretending like we were never together.” Your voice broke. “I’m trying to pull away – trying to move on – but I don’t know if it’s me holding onto hope, or if it’s just....” You couldn’t finish your words – you weren’t sure how to. You felt guilty for confessing this to Chris’s brother of all people. You knew it wouldn’t confidential – that he’d tell Chris – but you just had to say it out loud once.

You heard Scott sigh over the phone. Taking pity on you, he decided it was probably best that you kept your distance from Chris – which was the opposite of the goal of him constantly inviting you out. “A storm’s coming tonight,” he mentioned. “And I know how rain helps calm you.”

But it did anything but that.

-=+=-

Chris had some idea of where it went wrong. The night it all ended, he blamed you. He knew he was in the wrong for that.

The night of his outburst haunted his memories, keeping him up all hours of the night. The image of your tearstained cheeks, reddened eyes, and pure heartbroken expression was burned into his mind. He saw it every time he closed his eyes. He remembered how you barely got a word in because every time you opened your mouth to speak, to reason, to argue, he spoke over you with such a heated, rage-filled tone that he didn’t even recognize.

He was afraid to lose you and because of his own arrogance and stubbornness, that’s exactly what happened.

You were unraveling your bond slowly, tactfully while he tore it to shreds.

And he regretted it every single day.

“Is (Y/N) coming?” He asked as subtly as he could while he and Scott set the table. Scott simply shook his head. Chris placed a plate onto the placemat as thunder shook the house, the glasses rattling slightly. “Do you know what she’s doing tonight?” He asked, trying to stay casual though everyone saw right through it. Scott’s brows were furrowed as if contemplating and his mouth was pressed into a firm line. Knowing him for all his life, Chris knew when his brother was hiding something. “Scott.”

“I can’t tell you!” Scott finally answered. That answer pulled at Chris’s heart – were you with someone? Is that why you weren’t here? “She’s just… she just needs a night.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chris frowned. An upside to this “amicable” breakup was having his family constantly pull you back into their atmosphere. He wasn’t sure if they did it for him (they did), but he was thankful for all the nights you walked into their family home, gracing him with your presence even if you barely spoke. His brother remained silent and Chris called his name again.

“She’s just upset, okay?” Scott revealed. Chris’s frown deepened as he cocked his head to the side in confusion. “She just needs some time to think and heal.”

“What does that mean?”

Scott sighed. “I can’t tell you. She told me not to – Chris… do you plan on getting back together with (Y/N)?”

“Of course.” Chris answered with no hesitation. “I love her.”

“Then, why’d you break up with her?” Scott asked.

The question caught him off guard. Of course, he planned his apology. He planned his dramatic way to woo you back into his arms – to make you fall in love with him again. He didn’t quite know how to execute it – should he have been a cliché with a boombox, calling your name outside your window?

“I… I guess I felt like she was pulling away… and so, I felt like I had to beat her to the punch,” Chris cringed. It was a childish sentiment… But perhaps it was because his ego couldn’t take being broken up with? Or perhaps the thought of losing you clouded his judgement so much and consequently, his fears came true.

Scott scoffed at his brother, rolling his eyes for effect. “You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah and I feel bad about it, but every time I try to talk to her, she closes up.”

“I wonder why.” Chris groaned annoyedly at his younger brother, slapping the palm of his hand to his forehead. “She told me before that she felt as if she didn’t belong with you because you’re ready to start a family and she wasn’t.”

“When she say that?”

“A while ago…” Scott scratched his chin.

“But I don’t… I don’t need a family right this second. I just need her.”

“Does she know that?” Scott asked him. “Because all she knows is that you had enough of her.”

“I didn’t really give her a chance to talk…” Chris confessed. “I just… I kinda just ranted at her.”

Scott sighed disappointedly. “In all honestly, brother, I think you need to have an actual conversation with her… Not just a I’m-gonna-yell-at-you …”

Lightning flashed through the windows as the rain steadily poured. It didn’t look as if it were going to let up any time soon. Chris glanced at the clock. It was early into the evening – if it hadn’t been storming, then the sun would be painting the sky a beautiful orange sunset. Instead it was dark, gloomy – uncertain like your future.

Without much contemplation, Chris rushed out of the dining room, cutting through the kitchen. His mother gasped when he barged through the doors and walked to towards the front. “What are you doing?” She called after him. “Dinner’s almost ready!”

“I’m getting my girlfriend back,” Chris told her. His mother’s worried expression melted into one of pride as she cupped her chest with her hand and gave him an encouraging smile.

“Go get ‘er.”

“Love you, ma,” Chris called before walking out the door and braving through the storm.

-=+=-

The doorbell startled you from your nap. You hadn’t even realized you began to drift to sleep. With little regard about your appearance, you drudged towards the front door, wondering who could be at your house at this hour – especially with a storm like this.

“Chris?” You gasped, eyes widening as your ex-boyfriend was shivering from the rain. He was drenched, standing at your front porch. “Why are you here in the rain?”

“We need to talk.” You felt the blood leave your face. The last time he said those words to you, he left you crying and heartbroken. Thunder rumbled as you stared at him. “Scott told me.”

“Of course he did,” you rolled your eyes with frustration. “Chris, I don’t want to talk –“ You tried to close the door, but he easily overpowered you, keeping it open.

“No, we need to talk about this,” Chris snapped before sighing. “(Y/N),” you always loved the way he said your name. “I don’t want a family right now… I just want you… I just need you.”

You stared at him. Chris was never one to lie. He was terrible at it. His eyes always gave him away. Much like they did tonight when they revealed he was being truthful.

“I’m sorry,” he told you. “I’m sorry I’m an asshole that night. I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you – that I didn’t even try to listen.” He paused, waiting for you to butt in, but you never did. You just stared at him in silence as you processed. “You’re the only one I want to be with… and I understand if that’s not what you want… You can close the door and we’ll pretend this never happened. We can go back to whatever we were… But I’m not going to ignore this.” When you remained silent, he said, “please, please say something.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t truthful,” you finally said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me doubting myself – that I started to push you away because I was afraid of what a serious relationship with you meant…”

He took a step towards you, hands reaching for you. One hand found its home at your waist, the other cupping your cheek. “It’s not your fault…” He said. “I love you and I always will. Please, take me back.”

“I love you, Chris,” you muttered before your hands wrapped around his neck to pull him towards your lips.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans imagine #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #captain america #captain america imagine #andy barber x reader #andy barber #andy barber imagine #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysadale

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littlegiantposts · 3 years

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movie night

pairing: todoroki x f!reader

warning: strong language probably. possible anime/manga spoilers! grammar mistakes :( I suck at writing

summary: It’s not that Y/n didn’t want friends, it’s just people always found her intimidating

a/n: this is completely self-indulgent lol sorry about that, so like yeah I’m gonna be saying y/n, but also i am deriving her personality, attitude, looks from a character that I’ve sort of made up in my head haha. also idk if this is like a headcanon, imagine, or like a scenaro....so sorry. And like, sort of a side note, I love making main characters that are like sorta op so y/n’s quirk and story is sorta insane, but you guys dont really have to worry about it too much because its not really in this so....yeah, i guess its just some context. I wrote this while listening to a playlist I made, titled, “ur a badass hero with class 1-a” on spotify so if ppl wanna hear it, I will post a link to it lol. OH and class 1-a are in their second year! That’s a lot, sorry! But, I hope you enjoy!

y/n’s quirk (if ur curious): controlling the 4 elements (aang from the last airbender vibe lmao); but she also got a companion named koda (think of Moro-no-kimi from Princess Mononoke for the look)

Y/n was never good at making friends. It’s not like she didn’t try, because she did. When she was a little kid, living on Catalina Island, she made a lot of attempts to make friends with fellow children in her pre-school and middle school. It just seemed that they wanted nothing to do with her, talking bad about her behind her back or acting as if she just didn’t exist.

It started to get exhausting for Y/n to keep trying and ending up always failing. So, when enrolling in the top hero school, UA, Y/n thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be different.

Nonetheless, it’s not like she had absolutely no one. She had Koda! Her best friend in the whole wide world, well her only friend, which was her pet wolf. However, Koda doesn’t like being called a “pet”, let’s stick with her companion. They are quite the inseparable duo.

Y/n looked down at Koda from her desk who was lulling herself to sleep on the floor as Present Mic was teaching an English lesson. Y/n wished she too can sleep at this moment, “It wouldn’t hurt if I just closed my eyes for just a couple minutes.” Y/n thought. Oh, she was wrong though.

“Alright! We are going take a short break since we need to get our new textbooks,” Present Mic’s voice rang through her ears with all his elongation and passion, “Y/n and Todoroki! What about you two go get the books from the library!” Y/n would have jolted at the mention of her face, but she was honestly too tired to do so.

She nodded her head, got up from her desk, and looked at Koda if he was going to follow her. Of course, he perked up at the mention of her name and was going with her. A small smile was now on Y/n’s lips. Y/n was glad that she knew she can depend on Koda, always in her corner.

As she pushed her chair away from her desk, getting up and walking towards the door, she didn’t realize that most of the class was either looking at her or the half and half boy, for he had to endure the trip with the enigma that is Y/n.

The class just doesn’t know Y/n that well. She was one of the new students this year, along with Shinso. However, they at least knew of Shinso from last year. Y/n was a brand-spanking new addition to the class. Not to mention, her introduction to the class was nothing short of intimidating.

Aizawa knew Y/n had a lot of strengths. In fact, he used her skills as a type of learning lesson for the class. Not to mention, he completely singled her out during the “lesson” as he instructed the class that Y/n will have a bell that is tied around her belt. All they had to do was get the bell. Y/n, being the competitive person she was, didn’t back down at this challenge. Safe to say, no one was able to get the bell that day.

Y/n sighed at the memory. “Maybe, if you had some chill, you would be able to get a friend, Y/n” a voice in her head said, causing Y/n’s shoulders to shrink and her hands to be stuffed into her pockets. (Yes, she has pockets with her uniform. Yes, she’s still wearing the school uniform skirt. She sowed pockets into them for this very habit.)

“Uh, hey wait up.” a deeper voice called, already identifying who it is.

Y/n turned to right, looking at Koda for a brief second. From far away, one would think he was just grimacing, but as Y/n was closer, she can see he was very close to full-on growling at the sound of his voice.

Koda doesn’t really like Todoroki and Y/n always found it funny. Koda found everyone else real entertaining. As much as Koda was a wolf, he really was a people’s person. If Y/n didn’t know any better, it seemed Koda had a better relationship with her classmates than she actually did.

Y/n adopted a tired smile as she reacted to Koda’s growling at Shoto. She then looked behind her, seeing Todoroki jog lightly towards her. Her small smile soon faded away.

“Even if you try again to be a friend, you know that people will always end up fearing you.” Y/n honestly wanted to bang her head against a wall because this annoying voice was truly the bane of her existence.

Y/n stopped in her tracks. Koda made eye-contact with her, almost telepathically asking her, “Why are you stopping for him?!”.

“I may be aloof, but I have to at least be polite.” Y/n told her wolf companion. Koda only let out a breathe of frustration as he also stopped as well.

Todoroki soon caught up to the duo and was on Y/n’s left side. And the three began their trek to the school library.

There was some silence.

For Todoroki, it was so awkward. “Why don’t you say something to her?” he asks himself, “Or are you going to let another opportunity slip?”

You see, Shoto Todoroki admired Y/n. She was incredibly skilled with her quirk. She was confident, but not arrogant. She was an innovator, while still accepting old principles. She was naturally smart, but always open to learning. To him, she was so balanced. He couldn’t help himself as the admiration started to soon feel like a crush on the dark haired girl.

For Y/n, she didn’t think anything of the silence. In fact, she was grateful for the silence. More silence, means less time for talking. Less chance of Y/n making a fool out of herself.

“You seem more tired than usual. Trained a lot yesterday, I presume?” And Todoroki broke the silence that Y/n was trying to insist.

“Yeah, trying out a new technique with my water.”

Y/n was surprised.

She really could have been more blunt with her answer.

Theoretically, all she really had to respond with was a “yeah”, but she decided to add that last part.

Why? Why did she feel inclined to go into more detail? Now, Y/n was confused.

“That’s cool.” Todoroki wanted to hit himself in the head. “That’s all you got to say? What a conversation this is” Shoto mentally sighs. He feels like his heart is going to burst at how fast its going.

“I’m actually trying to freeze it, but that turns out to be harder than expected,” Y/n almost slapped her hand on her mouth.

Why is she going into more detail? This doesn’t make sense. She’s been quite blunt lately when people try to talk to her, so what gives?

Is it Todoroki, himself? “Maybe he put a spell on me or something.” Y/n didn’t think the “icy-hot bastard” would dabble in witchcraft, but things were just not adding up in Y/n’s mind. All these thoughts woke Y/n right up, ridding herself of her tiredness.

As for Todoroki, his mind was going into overdrive. “She’s having trouble with freezing water? She must know that this is my specialty. Is this her way of spending time with me? Does this mean the feelings I have for her are mutual? Perhaps, we can train together and I can help her with freezing.” The mere thought of spending time with Y/n outside of class made his cheeks warm up.

He was an absolute love-struck fool for Y/n.

“Oh, we’re here.” Y/n stated the obvious as they stand in front of the school’s library, halting Shoto’s mental mumbling, which almost resembled one of Midoryia’s ever-present babbling.

Shoto Todoroki immediately shot his arm forward to open the door for Y/n, but Y/n was thinking the same thing and they reached for the same handle.

Their hands touch.

And Todoroki thinks he can die happy now. Y/n’s hand is so soft. Much to his dismay, Y/n immediately drew her hand back as if his hand was scalding hot water.

Y/n mumbled a quick “sorry” and places her hand on the other handle as there are two doors to the library, she opens it and immediately walks through it as Koda follows in tow. Koda dawns an absolute confused look as he didn’t know what the hell that interaction was about.

The actual task of getting the books aren’t that hard. In fact, it was an easy and quick task.

So, why is this causing Y/n’s mind and heart feeling like they are overheating.

As they walk back to the classroom with stacks of textbooks, Y/n thought, “Okay, there’s no way in hell that he will try to talk to me again, especially after that awkward incident. Now, let’s breakdown why the actual hell you acted that way, Y/n.” She mentally scolded herself like she was a child.

Todoroki, as always, had a different plan and decided to continue the conversation, “You know, if you need help with freezing water, I can always help you since that is part of my quirk.”

Y/n has officially short-circuited.

He is voluntarily asking? Voluntarily. Asking?

Asking if Y/n wanted to train together?

This has never happened before, and she doesn’t know how to respond. “I would like that. I typically train in the morning and sometimes after school” is what Y/n felt like saying. It is as if her mind and mouth were working against each other.

However, Y/n’s thoughts were cut short as she heard the chatter of some of her fellow classmates. They three of them were very close to their classroom as their door to the room was wide open.

“Hey guys, if we’re having a movie night tonight, do you think we should invite Y/n?”

It was Midoryia who asked the question. Y/n, Shoto, and Koda stopped dead in their tracks at the mention of her name. Shoto and Koda looked at Y/n with a worried expression. For her own good, she probably shouldn’t be listening, but she couldn’t help but be curious of her classmates’ plan in regards to her.

“It’s not that we don’t want her there. It’s just that, who is up for asking her?”

Silence. No one responded to the question.

Koda notices how Y/n’s grip on the textbooks tightened. Shoto noticed how your head was now titled downward, hiding your face.

“She’s just so intimidating. And not to mention that training exercise we did when we first met her. She’s sort of scary, to be honest.”

“Scary. You’re scary, Y/n. Terrifying.” She couldn’t help but repeat her classmates’ thought of her. She was just torturing herself at this point. No point in dwelling on first impressions, but as this is affecting her current relationship, or lack thereof, with her classmates, she couldn’t help it.

“Y/n-” Todoroki tries to interject before Y/n gets the wrong idea.

But, it’s too late.

“No, it’s fine. Thanks for the offer though, Todoroki.” Y/n’s words were slow. As much as her brain was going a million miles per hour, her mouth was evidently slower as her breathing was heavier.

She wanted to disappear, or at least get swallowed by the ground. She kept her head down as she strode into the classroom. Her classmates being oblivious to Y/n’s knowledge of what they truly think of her, paying no attention to her.

Shoto was basically frozen in place, next to the door, but he gained composure and walked in the class as well, a couple seconds after. Y/n quickly placed her books on the front desk where Present Mic sat behind of, she sat back in her seat that was in the back of the class.

Y/n watched how Shoto was still standing in front of the classroom as he was stopped by his classmates. Now, they were just chatting, probably talking about the upcoming movie night.

Y/n felt jealousy bubble up inside her. She wished she can chat like how Shoto was effortlessly talking away to his classmates. Or how Midoryia stopped him with such ease to talk about a social event.

Y/n yearned for some friendly interaction. That’s what she wanted when coming to UA.

She wanted to be normal. As normal as she could be. A normal teenager.

“Things don’t always go according to plan, huh?” Y/n pouted and placed her head on her desk and just waited patiently till the school day was over.

Koda worriedly looked at Y/n. “She’s going to want to train after this. And I bet she’s going to push herself harder because of today.” Koda knew Y/n very well. Knew her like the back of his hand, well, paw.

And, Koda was right. Y/n was in gym gamma, completely exhausted. Sweat covered her body as her muscles were screaming at her take a break. Her labored breathe continued as her body was trying its best to keep up.

Y/n was frustrated. “Why? Why am I like this?” she kept repeating like a mantra.

“I want to be normal. Why can’t I be like them?”

“Why?”

“You’re a monster. It’s actually quite simple.”

Y/n threw a punch with her fist encased in water, and it wasn’t until after that punch was thrown, she realized that there was now an evident hole in the thick, solid concrete wall.

Y/n fell to her knees. Koda hurriedly made his way to her, making sure she didn’t do anything too stupid. Once Koda was close, she was doing something unexpected.

She was crying.

Hot streams, cascading down her face. She started to hiccup, her breathing erratic. “A-am I scary to you, Koda?” her voice was so small.

Koda nudged his way in between her legs and nestled his head into her neck. Y/n, full on sobbing now, wraps her arms around Koda and her cries are muffled by his fur. Wailing and self-deprecating questions can be faintly heard from her if anyone were to enter the gym.

A couple minutes passed. Y/n’a breathing returned to a calm rhythm.

“Thanks, Koda. I needed that,” Y/n sniffles, “C’mon let’s go make dinner, I’ll whip you up something special for putting up with me today.” Koda’s tail immediately began to wag at the thought of Y/n’s cooking.

Y/n was an independent person. She likes doing things on her own as much as can. She doesn’t eat the food from the school cafeteria, instead, she opts for making her and Koda’s meals from the kitchen that is provided to them in their dormitory. And indeed, she made a delicious dinner for both of them.

Now, the hard part. Because of how long her training took, showering, and making dinner, Y/n knew that her classmates were in the common space already, probably preparing to have their movie night. And, she had to pass them. It was a short distance, short walk, Y/n was trying to reassure herself. Just walk straight towards to the elevator and you’re safe.

Y/n takes a deep breathe and walks out of the kitchen. The chatter of her classmates emerges to her ears, but as she walks towards the elevator, the chatter dies down.

“Oh no.” Y/n’s eyes widened in fear. “Way to go on ruining the mood, Y/n.”

Thankfully, the elevator was quick and the doors slide open, making an easy escape for Y/n and Koda. She let out a breathe she didn’t even realize she was holding in as the doors slid shut. Y/n looks at Koda, who was already looking at her, “It’s better this way, anyway” Y/n didn’t know if she was telling Koda that, or herself.

On the other side of the elevator’s doors, her classmates collectively let out a sigh, “Well that was another chance we wasted.” Kaminari was the first to break the awkward silence.

“Tch. Like any of you have the guts to actually ask her.” Bakugo chimed in.

“Oh please, Bakugo, I know she intimidates you, too.” Mina fired back.

“Whatever.”

“She heard you guys.” Todoroki suddenly talked. Everyone casted their attention to him, “Earlier today, I mean. She heard you guys when you were talking about inviting her to movie night.”

The once light-hearted atmosphere in the room was now tilted with guilt.

“She heard all that?” Midoryia incredulously asked, only imagining what you would be feeling because of their words.

“She must feel terrible.” Ochaco openly voiced her thoughts.

“She probably hates us.” Kirishima adds in.

“She means well, I promise. I think we just need to give her a chance.” Todoroki tries to reason with his classmates.

“First, we need to apologize.” Midoryia proposes as he looks among his classmates. His classmates collectively nod their heads in agreement

“You’re right. Well, good luck Midoryia.” Kaminari pats his back as encouragement. Everyone else either gives an encouraging smile or a thumbs up.

“Ha?! What?! You guys already decided that I’m going to be the one to apologize?” Izuku was flailing his arm around and was checking everyone else’s reaction.

“Well, yes. It’s your idea and you are one of the most apologetic people here.” Iida explained to an overthinking Midoryia.

After regaining composure, he realized that this was probably the best option, “Okay, I’ll, I’ll go now.”

Midoryia makes his way to Y/n’s dorm room. He was nervous. He only had very limited interactions with Y/n. So, he really didn’t know what to expect. Before he knew it, he was before your door.

On the other side, Y/n was chowing down on her food. She took a swig of her water, “So, how’s the food? I tried a new technique on roasting the veggies.” Y/n babbled on for a bit, but she realized that Koda’s plate was hardly touched. Her gaze landed on Koda who was sitting on her bed with a very obvious frown, staring at the door. Y/n immediately knew why.

“Hey, if you wanna go hangout with them, I can push the buttons on the elevator for you-”

Koda was irritated at how difficult Y/n was being, she can just ask them if she can join. It was simple. Koda used his mouth to latch on to Y/n’s sleeve and started to drag her to her dorm’s door.

“H-hey Koda! Not cool, man! You know, I can’t go down there.” Y/n tugs her sleeve away from Koda.

Koda turned to his last resort. He did his signature pout.

“Oh, please. You know that stopped working on me awhile ago. Besides, we can have our own movie night, right?” Y/n tried to reason, but her reasoning just felt sad.

Before Y/n could step away from her dorm’s door, she heard a knock. The two quickly tuned their heads at the door as if something miraculous just happened.

Y/n took one step toward the door.

“It’s Midoryia.” Koda began to wag his tail, “don’t get your hopes up too quickly.”

Y/n opened the door only a slit for her head to poke out, “Oh, hi Midoryia. Is something wrong?” she asks.

“U-um, no nothings wrong.” he responds as nerves start to take over and he doesn’t continue on.

“Okay.” With that, Y/n closed her door. Koda wanted to scratch his eyes out. This was her chance! For someone who was the top student in her class, she was so stupid. “He didn’t want anything. Sorry to disappoint, Koda-” another knock interrupted her.

She looked at the door, “It’s still Midoryia.” Koda rolled his eyes.

Y/n went to to open the door, again, only opening a bit, “Yes, Midoryia? You sure something isn’t wrong?”

“Uh, well I was wondering if we can talk for a bit.”

“Oh, yeah sure.” Y/n stepped out of her door, and shutting it.

However, Koda was right on her trail, but was shut out by the now closed door. He pouts at the door. And how holds his ear to the door, interested in the conversation that has yet to come.

“So, what’s up?” Y/n asked the green-haired boy.

“I, we, as a class, wanted to apologize for our words today.” Midoryia spoke in a remorseful and quiet tone.

Y/n was taken back. “So, they know that I heard what they were saying? Must have been Todoroki’s doing.”

“Look, it’s fine. I know I’m intimidating-“

“But it’s not fine. We shouldn’t have treated or talked about you that way.”

Y/n was stunned at his words. He took that as a sign to continue, “and we were hoping, if you’d be okay if we start over and become friends.”

Y/n remained cautious with her walls, “You know, friendship isn’t really a perquisite for this course.”

“Of course, I know that. We all do, but it doesn’t hurt to have them, right?”

Y/n felt like tearing up. She wanted to believe him. She wanted to put her trust in that last statement of his.

“I’ll be be down in 5 minutes,” Y/n stated rather blandly, but it didn’t matter to Midoryia.

“Great! See ya!” He waved and started to head back to the elevator, before he pressed the button, Y/n called him once more,

“Midoryia?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” and nods his head. He couldn’t be more thrilled that this will all work out.

As for Y/n, she opened her door to her dorm, and closing it as she stepped inside.

As soon as she was in the comfort of her own room, she broke into her happy dance. Her fists clenched, eyes shut, shoulders scrunched, jumping in the air, squeals make their way pass her lips, with the biggest smile on her face

Koda felt a wave of relief of wash over him. He was glad that she was finally experiencing acceptance.

After the moment passes, Y/n sighs and looks at Koda, ruffling his fur on the top of his head.

“Well, shall we?” Y/n said in an extravagant manner as she opened her door and bowed.

Koda, playing along, held his head high and strutted out. Y/n let out a light-hearted laugh and they made their way down, together.

Once Y/n actually made it to the common room, all of her classmates were looking at her, stopping their conversations as well. The confidence that Y/n help was long gone, feeling now awkward yet again.

However, the silence didn’t last too long as the class enveloped her in boisterous apologies, hugs, and pats on the back.

To say Y/n was overwhelmed was understatement. She had never been around these many people, giving attention towards her. It was new territory she had yet to cross.

“Guys, you should probably let her breathe.”

That was Todoroki. Y/n pried her eyes away from Mina who was asking what conditioner she uses, and looked at Shoto. Y/n mouthed a “thank you” and he simply nodded.

The class went back to their seats, muttering apologies again for getting in her personal space.

Now, Y/n faced yet another problem:

Where is she going to sit?!

She kept standing where she stood for a good couple seconds, scanning the area for any good spots.

However, there was actually only one spot open. And, it just happen to be next to Todoroki.

Y/n mentally prepared herself and started her path towards him. Of course, Shoto knew this. He was the one who made sure he saved a seat right next to him just for this occasion.

But things don’t always go according to plan, right?

Rightly so, right before Y/n could take the unaccompanied seat, Denki was coming back from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn, plopping right down on the seat.

“Oh, hey Y/n! I’m glad you made it! You want some popcorn?”

“No, I’m good, thanks though.” Y/n was able to play it off as she chose to sit on the floor in front of the couch, which coincidentally was in front of the seat that Shoto resided.

Shoto was irritated. He wanted you to sit next to him. For crying out loud, that was the whole reason he had this seat open in the first place. All he does is sigh, catching Y/n’s attention.

Y/n turns back to Todoroki, sending a small smile his way, but then turning back to the screen as her fellow classmates were arguing on what to watch.

Y/n put her hand to her chest. This is weird. Why is her heart rate so high? She’s not usually like this. Maybe Todoroki did cast a spell on her.

Y/n couldn’t think about it too much as the movie began playing.

#bnha shoto #todoroki shoto #shoto todoroki x reader #midoriya izuku #mha x you #mha x reader #shoto todoroki x y/n #mha angst #bnha imagines

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bigwriterenergy · 4 years

Text

risotto, ghiaccio, illuso x reader

@miss-shay asked: “hii mango! may i get headcanons for how ghiaccio, illuso, and risotto would cope after a really bad breakup with their s/o. any bad habits they’d pick up or destructive behaviors they’d indulge in? lmao (excuse my morbid curiosity 🤣)”

hiii shay!! so glad you sent a request in :)) i’d love to write for you! thanks for the message!!!

risotto nero

one of the only few in la squadra who don’t fall into a series of bad habits because of the break-up.

basing these all upon the premise that all of them loved the reader and that the separation wasn’t, at all, mutual.

besides, risotto would have little time to be lost or grieve.

he’s the leader of a specialized team of killers. i feel as though he would repress his anger or hurt and turn to focus on work. while this is a healthier alternative compared to the rest of the boys, he becomes almost consumed with his work.

his pride wouldn’t allow any weakness to be seen. especially if she was also under his command.

he’d be notably colder; he would make decisions without remorse. risotto was already a cold-blooded killer, but without reader, he feels expresses his pain through ruthless actions.

expect a couple of months, at the most, before he attempts to rekindle the relationship. he understands she would need space initially, but she needs to understand that he couldn’t imagine life without her.

ghiaccio

he’ll throw a fit. an actual fit which will only prove to confirm your wish to call off the relationship.

expect lots of screaming, punching walls, ugly tears, and accusations. his toxicity is pointed out during the moment, which only proves to make ghiaccio more upset. you just don’t get it. whenever it comes to you, he can hardly control the emotions that arise. they’re always so intense and evident; you’re the only person he is certain he loves.

“i know i’m insane, but -- i don’t wanna imagine life without you! please, just give me a fucking chance! i told you, i’m trying to change! isn’t that good enough for you?”

of course not, you say. ghiaccio is heartbroken but decides to let you go. he’s very hurt.

i could actually imagine him talking bad about you behind your back. that sounds awful, but he’s just so hurt, he doesn’t know what to do. so he masks the pain with feigned apathy. whenever you enter the same room he’s in, though, he can’t help but stare. what could he even say to you?

a month max before he comes back begging. expect a more refined ghiaccio approaching you, but you can see he is close to tears.

illuso

very calm during the break-up. actually, so calm that you may think he doesn’t care. that was the problem during the whole relationship actually, he always acted as though nothing was serious or your emotions weren’t serious.

in the end, you’re crying; the anger and hurt caused by his apathy is enough to make you curse the man and end the relationship.

illuso immediately turns to women. you hear of his dealings with prostitutes and almost scoff. you knew that was the whole reason he was so content with the break-up.

it’d take a very, very long time for illuso to come to you. after all, he’s the most prideful man in la squadra. expect him to show up after you get off of work, waiting for you. a quiet request, one void of his usual arrogance.

“hey. lemme talk to you, real quick.”

to hear him speak so softly is odd, but you listen. he states that he’s been “sort of lost .. without you.” it was so foreign to hear in speak in such a manner. although he’ll never admit to being wrong, he’ll promise to change for your sake.

“i know you don’t like certain parts of me, but .. i’ll try to change. for our sake, alright?”

#jjba x reader #risotto nero x reader #ghiaccio x reader #illuso x reader #risotto nero #ghiaccio jojo #illuso jojo #jjba #sfw #miss-shay

260 notes · View notes

bngtanah · 4 years

Text

I’m (not) With The Band. | o7

summary: Adrienne is an indie producer who is hired to help co-produce BTS’ next album alongside their resident producer; Suga. Despite the initial opposition on both ends, the pair spend time together, share a few stories, dreams and aspirations and begin to hit it off really well. Wrapped up in the whirlwind of late nights and heated disagreements and reconciliations, Min Yoongi and Adrienne Rolle find themselves growing closer and closer. One night they decide to cross the barrier between personal and professional and do their best make a relationship work against all odds.

pairing: idol!Yoongi x OC

word count: 4.5k genre: drama, romance, smut(eventually)

chapters: prologue| o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11|

warning: fluff, workplace relationship, slow burn, sexual attraction, ambw, developing relationship, light angst, making out.

a/n: hey. sup. it’s been forever lmao.

"No, no, I want there to be a subtle kind of...sexiness even without the lyrics"

"But I thought we agreed to go for a different feeling?"

"We did...then I changed my mind"

"So, I guess what I want doesn't matter?"

"For this song- no. No, it does not."

Yoongi wanted to be annoyed by her dismissal and deep down he mostly was, Andy was being unnecessarily difficult with the direction of their latest music-related venture, and although she had shot down nearly all of his ideas today, Yoongi still found himself bowing to her will instead of arguing with her like he usually would whenever she batted those big green eyes at him. He was fairly certain that she wasn't doing this on purpose, enticing him so that he would continue to remain entranced by her attractive features and intoxicating smile, even if she wasn't aware of what she was doing, the results were still the same. She already had him wrapped around her finger without even realizing it and Yoongi hated being so damn malleable.

Today was another day off for the group but with the limited time and amount of preparation they still had to go through t in order to be ready to release their album on time, no one in the group had the luxury of lounging around doing nothing like they had been doing the past few days. Everyone was either practicing, giving interviews or helping out with lyrics for the few songs that were already completed and approved leaving Andy and Yoongi alone in an empty dorm to get some actual work done. They opted out of working at the studio since it was already crowded with Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok using the computer and mic, Yoongi knew that the dorm would be empty for most of the day, so it gave them a chance to work in peace.

"Look," Adrienne sighed and leaned back on her elbows, they were seated on Yoongi's bed and much closer than they needed to be "I'm sure whatever you're thinking is great but if you guys really want to go for a more mature image with this album you need a song like this. The kind of song that will give you the confidence to strip and give your boyfriend a lap dance even if you can't dance for shit." Adrienne exhaled sharply and glanced up at the ceiling, looking wistful. She wasn't looking at Yoongi, and she hadn't been since she started speaking, but if she was she probably would have noticed the way his eyes ping-ponged between the slight amount of cleavage peeking out of the top of her v-neck and her plump lips that curled into a seductive smile when she spoke that last sentence.

Something about the way she said the previous sentence, however, must’ve given too much of her desire away, because he froze when she exhaled, just to stare her down. When Adrienne finally did glance to the side she flinched slightly under his intense glare but didn't back away.

"Sorry, was that too much? I talk without thinking sometimes..."

"No... that's not-"

It seemed Yoongi hadn’t truly been paying attention to what she was saying before, but now he would have been hanging on her every word if she had the courage to say anything else, instead, they just stared at each other, neither one moving an inch until one of Adrienne's braids fell into her face and Yoongi raised his fingers and brushed the back of his knuckles across her cheek to put it back in place.

His movements were gentle, so gentle that Adrienne could barely breathe– the moment stretched out for so much longer than seemed appropriate, allowing Adrienne to become lost in her thoughts and the realization of just how much she wanted his lips on her to hit her with a heavy awareness. Andy broke under the thought and found herself leaning forward to just do it, to just kiss him like she had wanted to for so much longer than she cared to think about. Yoongi leaned forward as well, the hand that was caressing her cheek moving down to her neck to securely keep her head where he wanted it to be. Eyelids hooded and lips just a few inches apart, their breathing intermingled as they drew closer and closer to their intended goal. Weeks of flirting and mutually explosive tension bubbling just under the surface was just seconds from reaching its peak....until hearing the door handle jiggle broke apart their fantasy.

Suddenly the front door opened, and the sound of Jin's voice blending together with Jungkook's caused the enamored pair to spring apart, quite literally, with Yoongi rolling further into the center of his bed and Adrienne tumbling from the bed to the ground, landing flat on her ass.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi asked quickly, peering over the edge as Adrienne nodded and rubbed the sore spot on her hip where she landed.

"I'm fine, just a little bruise-" She responded with a groan then looked up, the moment between them was long from being forgotten and that was evident in the way Yoongi still peered down at her like he wanted to devour her right then. But, Jin and Jungkook making their presence known in the hallway outside Yoongi's bedroom made them break contact and swiftly pretend to be working, Andy grabbing her notebook off the edge of the bed and Yoongi mindlessly pressing keys on his laptop as the two young men hovered around the entrance and inquired about how their work was going.

"Yoongi's being stubborn, and I am making amazing music, so it's just like always," Adrienne commented from the floor, earning a chuckle from both Jin and Jungkook and an agitated smirk from the target of her jeer.

"Ah, well we won't distract you, keep working hard!" Jin stated as he began to usher Jungkook out the door, who was on the verge of complaining.

"Oh no! You can stay!" Adrienne replied, too quickly, and shot out her hand to stop them from leaving "It would be nice to hear some feedback." She wasn't too certain about being left alone with Yoongi after what had almost happened just a few seconds earlier, even with her sitting on the floor now there was no guaranteeing she wouldn't lose her senses again and do something stupid like try to kiss her coworker.

"Are you sure won't we be in the way?" Jin asked in part, allowing Jungkook to finish off the question even though he was already walking back towards Jin's bed and sitting down. Both of them glanced back and forth from Adrienne to Yoongi for an answer, before finally settling on Yoongi.

"It's fine," he grumbled from behind his laptop screen, "Just try not to make too much noise."

They, of course, did the opposite of what he asked.

Yoongi slammed the door of the Bangtan room so hard Adrienne swore she could hear the frosted glass crack and shatter when he entered the room. She didn't even bother swiveling around in her chair when she heard him come in since she already knew what was bothering him. Yoongi had a meeting with the boss today about a few songs he'd submitted on his own for approval and, judging by his reaction, it probably hadn't gone well.

It was always interesting (terrifying) to see Yoongi so genuinely angry, he was usually so calm and unconcerned by small or big things, but when it came to his music he quite literally wore his emotions on his sleeves and it barely took much to ignite a blaze of fire within him.

"Yoongi-ssi?" Adrienne called as she heard his pacing back and forth behind her.

No answer.

"Are you alright?" Adrienne decided to ask once again when he took a seat on the couch and began running both of his hands down the length of his face.

"Do I seem alright to you?" Yoongi snapped with his face still buried in his hands, his knee was bouncing up and down so quickly it warbled his voice and Adrienne couldn't even find herself becoming offended by his curt reply.

"You don't," Adrienne answered as she spun around to face Yoongi, "That's why I'm asking if you are. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but don't come in here disrupting my time with your bad vibes if just going to be an asshole."

Yoongi puffed up almost immediately, his chest inflating with arrogance and his lips twisting into an aggravated scowl. He looked up, ready to dispute his right to be an asshole whenever he wanted to be, but once his eyes met Adrienne's he deflated and glanced to the side with a heavy sigh. He shouldn't be putting his anger off on her, she wasn't the reason he was upset.

"He said no- again!" Yoongi finally replied with an answer that Adrienne already knew, but she nodded anyway, her gaze never leaving his as he began to rant about not being taken seriously.

"They still look at me and talk to me like I'm still the same kid that auditioned here three years ago, it's fucking humiliating!"

"Did he at least give you some constructive criticism?" Andy asked, trying to remain positive.

"That's not even the point," Yoongi huffed, rising up from his seat, "If it was just about my song not being good enough, I could change that. I can always make better songs but I'm not growing as an artist if I'm constantly being told to write about the same thing in a slightly different way! There are only so many similes and metaphors you can write about someone not loving you the way you love them."

Adrienne frowned and nodded because she understood how he felt. Even when she felt like she didn't know Yoongi as well as she wanted to, it was always very obvious to Adrienne how much his music meant to him, that was something they had in common and it was probably the reason for most of their music-related disagreements. Neither of them would put their name on a project that they didn't know was their absolute best effort.

Yoongi was still pacing back and forth the length of the small studio room in an attempt to work off all the anger that was building up inside him. He stopped abruptly once he felt Adrienne's arms embrace him from behind and her cheek rest against his shoulder, she was wearing platform sneakers that made her as tall as him.

"Do you really think your boss doesn't respect you?" She asked after a few seconds passed and his harsh breathing had calmed some.

"He's not acting like he does," Yoongi muttered over his shoulder.

"You know that's not what I asked, do you honestly think he doesn't respect you? Would he have given you the responsibility of producing an entire album for your group if he didn't appreciate your talent?" Adrienne inquired and picked her head up off of Yoongi's shoulder.

"...Technically he didn't, he hired you to produce it with me." He said quietly, followed by a pained hiss when Adrienne flicked his earlobe.

"Yah! We're getting along, don't ruin the moment!"

Yoongi smiled, it was small and short-lived but it was the first time he hadn't been scowling since he walked into the room and Andy counted that as a win.

"In all seriousness, I know for a fact that he doesn't think you're still the same kid you were when you were training. You should hear the way he talked about you before I met you guys, it was nauseating. I think he recognizes that you've grown which is why he allowed this opportunity, he also knows what's going to sell so try not to take the rejection too personally."

Yoongi exhaled and pressed his lips together, he knew she was right. He may have been taking this a little too personally, but his music was an extension of him, how could he not? After a second of contemplation, Yoongi turned so that he was facing Adrienne and looped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her close to him in a tight hug.

"Thank you," He said gently as they pulled apart and Adrienne smiled widely in response, her grip on his forearms reluctantly growing slack. A moment of charged silence passed between them once again when they were no longer hugging, and Adrienne felt a fleeting sensation of recklessness pass through her once again. They still hadn't talked about what had happened a few days earlier in Yoongi's room, Adrienne was waiting for him to bring it up while being too cowardly to do it herself and Yoongi felt the same way.

"You should do something," Adrienne spoke first.

"What?" Yoongi asked, clearly confused.

"Your song," Adrienne clarified and backed away to save her own sanity. "You should do something with it if you really like it that much. Maybe you can't put it on an album, but you can always release it for free? Your fans would like that"

"Ah, I don't know about that" Yoongi shook his head and returned to his seat on the couch, "The big reason it can't be included on the album is because of the subject matter....it's kind of suggestive."

Andy shrugged and leaned against the back of the office chair "But it would be nice! Think of your fans."

Adrienne pouted and Yoongi caved.

"Fine, but I need you to sing the chorus, and we can't release it anywhere."

"Me? Why? Can't you use Jimin?"

"He's busy, and I doubt he would be comfortable singing some of the lines."

Adrienne's curiosity was piqued but understood what he meant once they actually began recording the song. The word 'suggestive' would have been the last adjective on Adrienne's mind as she read the lyrics as well as she could and sang along with Yoongi's direction; explicit would have been her first choice. It was a catchy song, that was definitely true, but Adrienne understood immediately why it couldn't be included on the album. They finished the song in just a few takes and quickly got back to working on the album like they were supposed to be. It was well into the night before either of them left for home and Adrienne made a quick stop to one of the few cubicles that were still occupied with someone working. It was an assistant name Soo-Bin whom Adrienne wasn't overly friendly with, but she still knew her by name. She quickly asked to post the cover she'd mixed and arranged for Jungkook before she left for the night since she was going to be there a lot longer than Adrienne was. Soo-Bin agreed, reluctantly, and once it was time for her to go home quickly published the first song that seemed to match the specifications Adrienne described.

She wasn't in the mood to double check.

The next morning Adrienne got ready for work with a heavy heart after waking up to a message from Bang Sihyuk requesting her presence in his office, the second she got to work. She hadn't had a one on one meeting with him since she was hired, and she honestly couldn't think of anything they needed to talk about. She wasn't finished with the latest batch of songs and there was still time for her to send them in, so she knew he couldn't have been moving up the deadline, and anything else pertaining to the album was usually just relayed to her through Yoongi or one of the other staff members. There was only one logical reason Andy could think of for him wanting to meet with her alone and that was to tell her that she was fired. The thought alone nearly made her hyperventilate.

Slowly, Adrienne trudged her way towards Bang Sihyuk's office when she was finally inside the Big Hit building. She paused once she was a few feet away from the office door and noticed a familiar face leaning against the door frame.

"Yoongi-ssi?"

"Ah, I was wondering when you'd get here, you're late today."

"It took me a while to get ready..why are you here? Do you have a meeting today too?"

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, right now. He wants to talk to both of us."

Adrienne sighed a small breath of relief once Yoongi turned and entered the room before her. If he wanted to talk to both of them at once, then the chances of her being fired seemed to be a lot smaller. Andy soon followed after Yoongi and immediately bowed at a complete 90 degree angle once she was inside, the rules of engagement when it came to her superiors were still foreign to Adrienne, and she wasn't sure if she had to bow once she entered his office, but she didn't want to run the risk of possibly offending her boss.

Bang Sihyuk was in the middle of a phone call when they walked in but motioned for them to side down anyway. Andy and Yoongi exchange a short confused glance but their attention was brought back to their boss once he hung up and cleared his throat.

"I'll be quick about this, I'm sure you're both wondering why I called you here," Andy and Yoongi both nodded simultaneously, "The reason is simple really, I need to have a conversation with you about the nature of your relationship and the easiest way to do that is if you're both here together."

Adrienne was confused, she was sure she heard him correctly but the way he said 'relationship' didn't make sense to her.

"Now while I suppose I can't outright stop you, I can strongly discourage you from openly dating so early into Yoongi's career. The group is finally gaining some ground in the music business and a scandal like this could derail all the hard work that-"

"I'm sorry, did you say dating?" Adrienne interjected, trying to sound as respectful as possible but she just had to stop him before all his words began to blur together.

"PD-nim, we're not dating" Yoongi spoke up once Bang Sihyuk answered Adrienne's question with a firm nod.

"Are you sure about that? The song that you put up on the blog yesterday seems to very explicitly suggest otherwise. You don't have to lie to me,Yoongi. Honestly, it's better if we get it out in the open now that way I can protect you if I need to in the future." Bang Sihyuk countered with genuine concern in his tone.

"Song? What song?" Adrienne muttered underneath her breath before the wheels in her head finally started turning "Aish! Soo-Bin must have uploaded the wrong song last night, I asked her to upload Jungkook's cover. She must have gotten the files mixed up" She said to Yoongi who nodded and shook his head.

"That song was never meant to be released to the public, sir" Yoongi explained, "It was just something we recorded for fun but I can promise you that we are not dating or anything like that."

"Truthfully, we are not. I don't have a reason to lie to you" Adrienne tacked on.

Bang folded his arms across his stomach and leaned back into his comfy office chair "Good," he said after a few seconds of tense silence "We've already taken the song down but both of you need to be more careful in the future, you can't afford a mistake like this."

"Yes, Sir."

They both thanked him for understanding before he excused them and allowed them to leave. Adrienne dramatically sighed and slumped into the sofa once they reached the studio.

"I can't believe I thought I was going to be fired today."

"Why would you think that?" Yoongi asked from hovering over the computer console.

"I didn't know you were going to be there, I thought he wanted to talk to me alone and that could only mean one thing."

"You shouldn't take things so personally" He snickered, proud of himself for being able to use her own words against her.

Adrienne rolled her eyes, "This not the same thing, my reason is totally valid" She scoffed "Can you believe he thought we were dating, though? There's no way that would ever happen."

Yoongi stopped fidgeting with the keys on the keyboard just long enough to look back at Adrienne who seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, her statement had struck a chord in him "No way, huh?"

"Hm? Oh! It's nothing against you I just....I don't think I'm your type" Adrienne said with a humorless laugh as she got up to take a closer look at the books on the shelf against the far wall.

"What does that mean?"

"It...means what I said, I'm not your type," Adrienne answered over her shoulder, completely unaware of the utter disbelief written all over Yoongi's face.

His hand latching onto her wrist took her by surprise and Adrienne gasped softly as she was suddenly being pressed against the wall next to the bookshelf, her body sandwiched between Yoongi and the plaster. His knuckles softly grazed over Adrienne's cheeks just like they had days before but this time, there were no braids obstructing her view to excuse his actions. His move was deliberate, and he made that notion clear as his gaze never left Adrienne's face as his hand moved down to her jawline and the pad of his thumb lightly traced Adrienne's' sharp features.

Yoongi only wanted to make a point; that there was no possible way she wouldn't be his type. However, being so close to her. Feeling her chest rise and fall against his body each time she drew a shallow breath he found it hard to stop himself once he'd started. As if of its own accord his head dipped, and he pressed his lips to hers. His free hand cupped the back of her head, holding her there gently. His kiss was soft and almost chaste to start off with, not forcing Adrienne to give any more than she wanted to, but she soon found herself getting lost in their kiss, her lips returning his actions with as much vigor as she could muster. She couldn’t quite explain the feeling that she had right now, it was as if all the blood had rushed from her head and that she was flying, she felt light and grounded all at the same time. Whatever it was she definitely knew she had a word for it now; right.

As much as she tried to ignore it and push her feelings to the back burner for the sake of her sanity and now career, kissing Yoongi felt right and Adrienne could no longer deny that fact. Her arms gripped tightly around his back as she pulled her head back momentarily to catch her breath, she looked up into Yoongi’s eyes and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time. The slight redness in his cheeks made her grin playfully as she sent her lips plunging back to his, her head shifted to the side with precision as she snaked her tongue past his lips. Yoongi no longer felt the need to be gentle, he put his all into the kiss now, and he let her in, tongues massaging and bodies wrapping up in one another as his hand slid down Adrienne's torso to firmly grasp her hips and hold her steady.

The feeling of her fingernails dragging across the skin of his neck ignited a five-alarm fire within Yoongi and just as quickly and unexpectedly as their kiss started, he ended it. Detaching his hands from her waist and immediately backing away like Adrienne was radioactive.

"I'm sorry," He said breathlessly with his hand covering his slightly swollen lips. "I shouldn't have done that" Yoongi croaked, that one moment was validation of something he'd wanted for such a long time, but he couldn't allow himself to completely abandon his self-control.

"Please, don't apologize," Adrienne answered, still trying to catch her breath "You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to kiss me."

"No, I have to because I can't.....we can't...we can't do this Andy!" Yoongi frantically exclaimed, pushing the hair away from his face roughly.

The strength of his response made Adrienne flinch slightly, he wasn't yelling but there was a temper behind his words that she didn't fully recognize, "Okay." She nodded and adjusted her top so that it laid flat over her stomach again.

"I don't want to sound desperate but why?"

"We just can't," Yoongi exhaled and hung his head low.

"I-is it because I'm black?"

He spun around quickly to face her with his expression contorted in confusion, "What? No!"

"Then what is it?"

Yoongi sighed heavily and took a seat on the sofa then patted the seat next to him and gestured toward Adrienne "Come here."

Adrienne followed his command and occupied the seat next to him, he took both of her hands in his once she was seated.

"You heard what PD-nim said today." He started softly, his thumb gentle caressing the back of her palm. "I have a very demanding job. It's not that I wouldn't want to be with you, but I also want to have a successful career and I don't know if I could handle doing both. I know that seems selfish but I've given up so many things in my life to make sure that I can do this to the best of my abilities and I can't become lenient now, no matter how tempting the thought of this is." He accompanied his words with another gentle stroke against Adrienne's cheek.

"If we got together I wouldn't feel right unless I was giving you every part of me and I can't do that and be good at my job, Andy" He frowned and cradled her face with both of his hands "I have so many goals to accomplish before I can give my heart away and I can't just ask you to wait for me...that wouldn't be fair."

Adrienne bit down harshly on her bottom, she understood where he was coming from. Honestly, she did but still didn't stop her from feeling like he was just admitting to being too afraid to take a risk. She didn't voice her opinion, however, he was bearing his heart to her and accusing him of being a coward would undoubtedly only ensure that he would never do that again.

"I understand," She responded with a tight, forced smile; her palms smoothing up Yoongi's forearms until the rested over his hands "I don't totally agree but I understand, your job is important to you and it wouldn't really be fair for me to ask you to put it on hold." Adrienne leaned forward and pressed her lips against Yoongi's cheek long enough so that her lipstick transferred to leave an outline of her lips against his pale skin.

"If you change your mind you know where to find me."

#houseofddaeng #btsguild #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #ficswithluv #bts fic #suga fic #suga imagine #bngtanah #inwtb

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lucacangettathisass · 4 years

Text

how the light gets in (ch. 8)

SUMMARY: After your home is ransacked by a group of strange men, you and your cousin are taken in by a group of outlaws. And that’s when the trouble really starts.

PAIRINGS: John Marston x Fem!Reader, Arthur Morgan x Fem!Reader

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN

TAGGING: @mountainhymn if you would like to be added to the tag list just lmk!

NOTES: so sorry for the slow update! ive been doing some full on hours at work (my manager literally told me that im doing full time hours despite being part time lmao rip) so that’s been leaving me a little drained lmao but hey at least we got there!

more mentions of low self esteem, those are gonna be a lot more prevalent from here on out actually.

on another note, i’ve been wondering if i should rewrite this as an oc fic rather than a reader one. thoughts? i might not even do it, but im curious to hear what you guys think.

anyways, hope you all enjoy! and dont forget, likes are nice but reblogs are what motivate creators the most!

p.s. pls check out waking up slow by mountainhymn!!!! it is so wonderful im still crying

“Well, it really all started with my momma.” You felt yourself begin to fidget and made an effort to stand completely still. “She got a job working for a wealthy Russian widow, Mrs Zamolodchikova.”

Mr Morgan let out a low whistle. “Now that’s a name.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “A lot of Russian names are like that. As I was saying, she hired my momma to be a maid when I was still very young. Mrs Zamolodchikova treated us very well, we even lived in a little cottage she had on her land.”

Despite all the years that had passed, you still thought of that cottage fondly. It had been small and not impressive by any means, but it had been your home for most of your childhood. You had a lot of good memories of it.

“I...I lost my momma when I was seven.” Even now, twelve years later, it hurt to say. Your mother had been your whole world, everything began and ended with her, and it had never once occurred to you when you were a child, that you would one day have to face the world without her. She loved you too much to do that to you. And then it happened anyway.

You had never experienced a heart break like it before, or since.

“I’m very sorry to hear that.” Mr Matthews said gently.

“It’s alright.” You assured him, trying to speak around the lump that always formed in your throat whenever you thought about losing your mother. “She had been ill for as long as I could remember, it was only a matter of time.”

“I imagine your aunt and uncle took you in?”

“They wanted to, but Mrs Zamolodchikova stepped in. She said that she saw it as her Christian duty to take me in as a ward, and that’s what I became.” It had stunned you at the time to learn that Mrs Zamolodchikova cared for you that much. You would always be grateful for her kindness, it had changed your life. “She had no children of her own, so I think she wanted me to fill that gap.”

“That was very kind of her.” Mr Matthews sounded surprised, and you supposed that it made sense. You couldn’t imagine that he had come across many people willing to take in the child of an employee, particularly among the rich. You certainly had never seen such a thing in your time among them.

You nodded in agreement. “She taught me etiquette and how to behave in upper class circles, and as I got older I became her companion. That was how I met Mr Cornwall.”

A spark appeared in Mr Van Der Linde’s eyes, and you knew that you really had his full interest now. “How did that come about?”

“He was looking for investors in his business, he was just starting out you see, and he needed some capital.”

“So he went to Mrs Zamolodchikova?” Mr Van Der Linde asked. “She must’ve been rather rich.”

“Exceedingly so.” You said. “Her family is very old Russian money, and when she came to America with her husband, her wealth only grew, even after he died. I imagine Mr Cornwall thought that if he could convince her to invest, he would have an easy time of building his empire.”

“Did he?” Mr Van Der Linde’s eyes sparkled with a kind of devious curiosity, the kind most often found in children. “Convince her to invest that is.”

“I’m afraid not. Mrs Zamolodchikova found him rather...disagreeable.” A part of you still cringed on the inside just thinking about that meeting. It had started off well, and Mr Cornwall had certainly been polite enough, but once his true character came out, it all started to go downhill rather rapidly.

“In what way?”

You hesitated slightly. “Well, I mean, one doesn’t wish to disparage others when they don’t have the opportunity to defend themselves.”

A chuckle came from Mr Van Der Linde, and you even saw a corner of Mr Morgan’s mouth twitch.

“We just want your honest opinion, that’s all.” Mr Matthews assured you. “No need to be disparaging.”

You paused, trying to think of the right way to phrase it. “Mr Cornwall...well, Mrs Zamolodchikova and I found him to be rather...brusque and arrogant. When Mrs Zamolodchikova turned down his request, he got rather upset and he seemed to take it as a personal affront.”

“She must’ve grown to regret that.” Mr Van Der Linde mused.

“Not at all. Mrs Zamolodchikova was happy for him of course, but she was also happy she rejected him. She said she couldn’t imagine being in business with someone so...tasteless.”

“Tasteless in what way?” Mr Matthews asked.

“Well he was...very new money.” When you saw the looks of confusion on the mens’ faces, you tried to think of a better way to phrase it. “He was something of a show off, and a little gaudy. He wore a lot of gold, I imagine to try and impress, but it came off as vain and rather insecure. Mrs Zamolodchikova was very critical of that kind of thing, and when she saw how self aggrandizing he became after his success, she grew to dislike him even more.”

Mr Van Der Linde nodded slowly, and you could almost see the wheels turning in his head. “It sounds like you’ve lead a rather interesting life.”

“I suppose you could say that.” Your eyes roamed over the two older men again. “I imagine that wasn’t the kind of information you wanted, my apologies Mr Van Der Linde.”

Despite your fears, the black haired man smiled and waved a hand. “It’s fine Miss [Last name]. I was just curious, that’s all. Javier, why don’t you walk her back to where she’s staying?”

“Sure thing boss.”

You turned to leave with Mr Escuella, but you hesitated just as he put a hand on the door knob. “Wait.” All eyes were back on you, and you felt yourself flush, but you felt that you needed to get this out. “I just-I just wanted to add that Mr Cornwall is a very powerful man, and in my opinion, and in the opinion of mutual acquaintances that he and I share, he is lead more by pride and ego than wisdom. He doesn’t take insults lightly and can be rather harsh.” You were very careful and deliberate with your words, not wanting to seem like you knew better, but still wanting to convey your feelings of apprehension.

Mr Van Der Linde raised an eyebrow, and you got the feeling that he understood what you were trying to say. “Duly noted Miss.”

You nodded, and turned back to Mr Escuella, this time actually following him outside.

“You must’ve lived a pretty good life for a while.”

You shrugged and felt yourself blush heavily. “I suppose.” It always somewhat embarrassed you, knowing how different your life had been from other people, especially those who were born into the same class as yourself. “I honestly just think I got lucky.” You looked down at your feet. “Don’t feel so lucky now though.”

A heavy silence hung between you two, and you had to bite the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from crying.

“Sorry.” You said softly. “I’m sure you don’t want to hear about my woes.”

“It’s ok.” Mr Escuella assured you, his voice kind again. “Considering everything you’ve been through, I’d say you have a right to let your feelings out.”

You looked at Mr Escuella in surprise. You hadn’t really thought about it like that. “You’re very kind.” You said sincerely. “Sadie might not think so but I certainly do.”

That brought a bright smile to Mr Escuella’s face, which made you smile in turn. You always enjoyed making people smile, it made you feel good, and you felt that it proved that you were useful and worth something for once.

“You’re a sweet kid.” Mr Escuella’s eyes were shining, although you couldn’t hazard a guess as to why. “Don’t let anyone beat that out of you, ok?”

“I-Ok.” You weren’t sure how else you should respond, being so unused to compliments from strangers. You watched as he held the door to the house with the other women open. “Are you not coming in?”

“Nah.” He smiled. “You stay warm ok?”

“Of course, and you as well Mr Escuella.” You went inside, and no sooner was the door closed that you were practically swarmed by Miss Jones, Miss Gaskill, and Miss Jackson.

“What did they want?”

“You weren’t gone for very long, did everything go alright?”

“Are you allowed to say?”

You felt yourself flush as you tried to keep track of who was asking which question. “It was nothing special.” You said. “They just wanted to know how I knew Mr Cornwall.”

Of course they all also wanted to know, and so you told them what you had told Mr Van Der Linde, Mr Matthews, Mr Morgan, and Mr Escuella-omitting your warning at the end.

Much like the men, they were stunned to hear your story.

“So you grew up pretty well to do.” Miss Jones said, in a tone that sounded impressed and envious.

“I-Well, yes, I suppose.” The embarrassment from earlier had returned. “I was extremely privileged.”

“What was it like?” Miss Gaskill asked, sounding wistful. “Being in that world?”

You paused, trying to think of a good way to describe it.

“When I was a little girl, it was dazzling.” You confessed. “All those men and women in their finery...it looked like an entirely different world. Like a fairy tale.”

“Oh yeah?” Miss Jackson raised a brow. “Meet any prince charmings?”

You laughed. “I met some well to do gentlemen if that’s what you mean.”

“I think she means suitors.” Miss Gaskill said with a giggle, and an eager look on her face. “Well, did you?”

“Oh!” A scorching heat unlike any of the others from before overcame you, and you felt your throat dry up. “I-Well-no.” You stammered, looking askance out of embarrassment.

“Really?”

You looked up and saw Miss Roberts looking at you with surprise. “You mean none of them tried to…” She trailed off, leaving you to fill in the blank.

“Not at all.” You said, your flush worsening. “After all, I was just a maid’s daughter.”

And therein lies the rub.

No matter how much you learned or how you dressed or how you behaved, everyone knew that you were just the daughter of a maid who Mrs Zamolodchikova had taken pity on. Most of them had been polite enough, but that boundary had always been there, and always would be. You had grown accustomed to it, the way one would grow accustomed to a permanent limp. And it left you with what you imagined would be the same level of alienation. It was one of the many unfortunate side effects of being born as yourself, and one you had learned how to deal and navigate the world with.

But it would always be a fairy tale to you. Beautiful, grand, never within your reach no matter how well you knew it. And you would always be that little girl that chased after it with every breath in her chest.

#arthur morgan x reader #john marston x reader #rdr 2 #red dead 2 #red dead fic #fic: how the light gets in

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lordeasriel · 4 years

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I agree Marcel definitely loves Marisa, but his methods are very different than hers in a lot of way (as their mother points out to him). Also, Marisa clearly seems to be Madame Delamare’s favorite. All of this leads me to believe that Marcel’s relationship with Marisa was very complicated. I suspect part of him loves and idolizes her, while another part kind of resents her. What are your thoughts?

Hey anon! I’ve been waiting for this question for a long time lmao This may get long, so I apologise in advance.

Personally, I would prefer they didn’t go for a rivalry relationship between because that’s too cliché in my opinion, but I also don’t believe they would be far too nice to each other. We don’t know why Marcel resents his mother, not precisely anyway, but I don’t believe it has much to do with Marisa; he clearly dislikes Binaud, and he resents the fact his mother had a relationship with him, but he doesn’t seem that distraught over not being the favorite child. Marisa is clearly the favourite, as expected, since she excels at anything she does, so that’s not a surprise. I believe if anything, Marcel resents Marisa over Lyra; he cares very little about Lyra, in fact, he is only after her because that’s his mother wish and he is just lowkey doing a job of finding her; he is angrier over the fact Olivier ran away from him than the fact he lost one of his ways to track his niece down; I think he resents the fact Marisa let go of everything in her life for something as trivial as an affair and Lyra, as he seems to knows she vanished in search/because of Lyra.

But I do believe they do things in a very similar way; they’re no equals, of course, I think Marisa is more ruthless than he is while he is more cautious and calculating. She aimed for more immediate results while he doesn’t care about waiting to get what he wants or need; he slowly stripped away Lyra’s defenses, while Marisa (supposedly, of course, but this is my headcanon for life) arrested Asriel one day and the next she was at Jordan friendly kidnapping Lyra. Of course, this difference comes down not only to their personality, but also their gender; Marisa was in a much less impressive position, first trying to get power through marriage, then through the Oblation Board, but she was never actively part of the Church, in fact, Asriel even states in Northern Lights that the Church could disavow the project whenever they saw fit to spare themselves from the shame. She had no stability, and she never would have because as a woman, her place in the Church would always be of lower reward. Now, Marcel is the head of La Maison Juste, an old institution that basically is responsible to indoctrinate people as modern times come. He probably climbed the power ladder, and he could easily have become a priest, if he wanted to (like MacPhail was and he was director of the CCD, the top institution of the Church), but he chose something else. He still is very prestigious, to the point we see him as an influence during the Big Baddie Gathering in TSC, but he chose a more complicated route to follow, and even then he still had an easier time than his sister. Marisa could have stayed away because, unlike her, Marcel probably began his career earlier since he didn’t have to try a power-grab through marriage like she did, meaning that if she used her name or let her heritage be known, everything she worked for would have been credit to his career somehow, binding her to his success - and vice-versa, as he remains unscathed by her affair, somehow or at least it looks like it.

There is also the fact I believe they were very different people, personality wise. Marisa is a social creature; vain, a bit arrogant, and almost surgical in her attempts to be a part of society as whole. She tries to fit everywhere and succeeds; socialites, aritocracy, scholars and church members. Marcel is good at pretending he is a social creature, as he clearly is always thinking something else during his interactions, plus his lack of marriage or any relationships outside of his sick, weird mother and his “co-workers”. The narrator evens states he doesn’t even have a mistress, which for his age he should have one (narrator’s words, not mine) and I’ve said this before, I think this is just meant to show he is devoted to whatever his cause is. Whenever he talks to Olivier it is as if he is in pain, and honestly, can relate cause Olivier is annoying, but this extends to almost everyone he dislikes, which is essentially everyone he talks to in the books lol I believe Marisa was one of the few people he didn’t frown upon when he spoke, at least for the first ten minutes, mostly because they would understand each other, just not on a deeper level. They would probably throw off sparks at each other during dinner, maybe, and then not talk for fifteen days.

Marisa is also very sciencey, very precise; she was a Scholar after all, while Marcel doesn’t strike me as a textbook kind of guy. He is intelligent on a more dilligent level and he is more inclined to take advantage of experience over sitting down and examining numbers. Marisa would’ve taken the rose oil herself and put it under a microscope and studied it thoroughly, while Marcel is content to just hire some smuggler to give him common sense intel, as well as experience since the dude used it.

However, despite all their differences, I believe they have similar methods to life in general; they’re schemers, charmers. They know how to intimidate and sweet talk people into doing their wishes; he benefits with the privelege of being a man in a position of power, not unlike Asriel, so his voice is heard without much disturbance while his sister would have to try harder, but she would get things done eventually, as she was a master manipulator. Marisa was clearly more intent on using her beauty and sexual favours as a tool, while Marcel not so much, although now I imagined him trading sexual favours to get things done and I regret it lmao

I like to think they had a balanced relationship of mutual respect, but also a bit of resentment on both sides, not because of the favouritism thing because, and this is my personal opinion, after all of this, it’s hard to see it mattering much. Marcel was the one with best chances to suceed, and Marisa resented that because his career was easier than hers, for sure; and he resented her because she made poor choices, she was too passionate and intense, and that didn’t just ruin her (professionally, at least) but it could’ve ruined everything he had built as well. Marisa also had a spark for her personality that he could never mimic, and that opened unique doors for her that he would have to break open.

Sorry for this essay! lmao

#asks #marcel delamare #the secret commonwealth #ty u for the ask i really enjoy discussing all of this #marisa coulter #hdm meta #meta by effie

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elegiesforshiva · 5 years

Text

This is a review for the amazing sasusaku fanfic Perpetual Winter by @thefangirlslair It’s a brilliant modern AU and I highly recommend it!!! You can read it on fanfiction.net or tumblr :)))) FF: c l i c kkkk Tumblr: Part I, Special Chapter, Part II And time for a criminally late and obscenely long review!!!

Pt I

Winter has never been his favorite season

Damn what an intro, I’m already getting angst vibes lmao. I really like how you set the scene and stage the world of this AU. I didn’t expect the existence of clans in this piece, with it being a modern AU, but this is such a fascinating twist on the setting to me. I loved how you described Naruto’s endurance as unnatural, “like there’s a demon living inside him” and Sasuke and his clan have inexplicable warmth….inexplicable do I dare say…fire ???? ;))))))

Lmao seriously what a great way to pay homage to canon though. I love these attributes!

Modern au Sasuke that reads poetry and drinks coffee is a brand of pretentiousness I can get behind

Aaaaaaa omg I really REALLY REALLY fucking love this intro! I love how you describe Sasuke as appreciating liveliness, and vibrance—which we can honestly assume is canon with how his two closest people are the embodiment of these traits. And I love how you tie it back into the seasons. This really gives so much life to that motif in this story, and the title. That was clever af

…he was taken back to the time where winter was just a mere season, Bon Iver was playing on their shared earphones, and Sakura was his.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST FUCKING DESTROYED ME WHAT A WAY TO SEGWAY INTO THE NEXT SCENE OOOOF IM KSJDFHLJSAKFL

There are so many things I love about this following scene… you really know how to write a couple in casual, mutual love. The banter and candidness of their interaction just has me floored. I also REALLY love that this is from Sasuke’s perspective, and how even though he doesn’t have an overwhelming amount of dialogue, we’re in his head, and his appreciation and love for Sakura just radiates. Lines like these:

From her latest discovered band to a recent discovery in medicine by a genius dude whose name he doesn’t even remember, she shares it with him. Favorite anime character, favorite memory with him, favorite pair of underwear — he knows it all because she’s that open to him about things she love.

They’re just….so good. I can hear his voice, his ardor, and his impeccable understanding of Sakura’s personality while also expressiong his own. The choice of having the narrative skewed through his lens was def a good decision. And ugh this piece is just overwhelmingly amazing already

He doesn’t know the pain to be dealt with when you’ve broken up with someone because Sakura was his first girlfriend. And honestly, he doesn’t, couldn’t, even think about being apart from her. Just the thought of them breaking up already makes him panic a little. He always thought to himself, ‘I will never let that happen.’

Okay this paragraph……………this paragraph tho……..dropping this. KNOWING. They’re gonna break up……….HOW DARE U

Seriously, what powerful writing. I don’t know how you do it……

I think it’s incredibly interesting that you chose music to be the catalyst for this beautiful, climactic moment of closeness My best friend/partner and I have had convos before about it, and she and i once talked about how we think of sex with music lol. I don’t know how to entirely explain myself on that, or where I’m really going with this, but I get the same vibe here too. Music that’s close to you is like an artistic intimacy and there’s something very personal and vulnerable about it. Maybe it’s an auditory thing, like getting lost in one of those guided meditations. (idk if you’ve ever had one that actually worked, they don’t always for me, but when they do god damn, it’s unreal) Either way, I really loved the way this scene played out, it was highly relatable and highly emotional, and I feel serenity and ardor just reading it. Beautifully done.

I love the way you moved back to the present and we immediately feel the differences and the similarities. The fondness and affection is still there, if not a little more muted, and it’s so obvious they still have feelings for each other. But there’s definitely moments that speak to their separation too, with the little differences in Sakura that Sasuke notices, or instances like her no longer drinking coffee or him deciding to open the door.

I really like how you inserted the interaction with Kakashi too. One thing I’m quickly noticing about this fic and your writing is how you very stealthily relay information to us readers. It’s seamless and entertaining, and I’m learning about this world and the past in ways that are so attention grabbing I don’t even notice it.

Also Itachi’s death and the way you handled it from Sasuke’s pov is so reminiscent of canon and also so gut wrenching. The lines

How dare Itachi leave him alone? How dare Itachi sacrifice himself and die? How dare Itachi pass his responsibilities onto his shoulders…

especially gutted me because of how is stands in stark parallels to the Sasuke we know in canon. This really smacked my head around with feels….poor Sasuke

OMFG POOR SASUKE !!!?!?!??!?!??!? THAT ENDING OOOLOGDSLGFSLKDGHLSDHFLKDFHVSLKV WHAT A FUCKING CURVE BALL LMAO

I mean maybe I should have seen that coming because like of course!!! But also I’M LOSING M Y SHIT HAHAHAHAAA

I can’t wait to see how this unfolds!!!!!

Special Chapter

This is such a powerful scene to start with. Itachi’s entire character was such a major influence in canon and seeing the way his death is affecting everyone now is so emotional. I feel so bad for Sasuke, having to take on all the burdens Itachi had left behind for him.

Also these lines:

“Mikoto cried, “Don’t you think it’s too soon? I just buried my first-born just barely a week ago and now we’re discussing how you’re gonna ruin my youngest’s life just like you did with Itachi?!”

The way her voice cracked when she said his brother’s name broke his heart. She’s still grieving, probably forever, and here they are talking about Sasuke’s suicide.”

Literally killed me. Dead. Deceased. Fallen to the Void. It’s so brilliant and powerful, and speaks so deeply on their dysfunctional family dynamics and feelings with so few lines. Really loved this…

This next scene was so stark and sad and beautiful. I meant to comment and pull lines again, but I couldn't stop reading tbh. Sasuke's thoughts and emotions concerning Sakura are so vividly gentle and full of praise. There's such a soft worship in the way you write his feelings towards her and tbh it's my absolute and only interpretation of feelings I care for concerning the depiction of their relationship. Still, you do this with a certain cleverness and mastery. It's really so moving for me...

The dream sequence that follows is absolutely debilitating, but so well done. I got the sense it was a dream only a few lines in just from the bluntness of the lines. It was truly very dream-like lol. I really could feel the panic and guilt along all of his inner turmoil. It's incredibly horrific to have such a dream about murder just after Itachi's too. This was devastating.

I really loved the way Sakura calms him groom the panic/anxiety attack. I've actually had a similar experience once, where I woke up from a nightmare and I was very frightened and stiff and couldn't really articulate myself. I remember I had felt deep horror and self loathing and nothing else. (I still remember the nightmare too, it was horrible.) My best friend at the time just threw herself on the bed and held me.

It's so crazy how grounding touch can be. I really felt that with Sasuke and Sakura too. The comfort she offers him is so seamless to her character and so ardently palpable. The repetition of "I got you" really touched me especially. It breaks my heart knowing the inevitable end of their relationship to come.

Oooooohhhh daaamnnnnn

I did NOT see the raunchy sex coming lmfao!! Although in hindsight, I probably should have. You already told us how they tend to get down and dirty when emotions run high with the arguments and make-up sex. I imagine this is instigated by Sasuke often, with him struggling to articulate his need for Sakura verbally so he does so physically. And I imagine Sakura is just kinky enough to crave this sort of animal want.

I do love how sexual interactions are easily moving in tandem with their emotions, how it just feels like another mode of communication. Sasuke breaking down during it leaves me feeling so tender too. It's tragic

She smiled. Sasuke doesn't know if he wants that smile or not.

These exit lines are going to fucking kill me istg

The following events honestly hurts to read because Damn haven't we all been there... the fallout of a relationship to the point where you're just dragging it through the mud… it’s a true deterioration of soul and you capture that slow death so well. I really feel terrible for Sakura—Sasuke too—but it sucks for her to be in the dark like this.

I love the way you write Karin!!! Honestly, I think it really mirrors the way she's written in canon. She's cold and strategically loud and generally calculating and overall kind of apathetic. She doesn't really know the value of meaningful relationships (and therefore doesn't prioritize them) until much later on in the series. I definitely get this sense of her here too. She's a little cold, but not cruel, and she has the pragmatic values of her and Sasuke's union in mind as she agrees to it all. I really like how you made her personality come through here.

Meanwhile there’s him, sucking all the hard traits from their father. His competitive streak, arrogant way of speaking, harsh words — it’s all Fugaku. And suddenly, he feels so exhausted.

This line hit me so hard. I love this fic already for an endless number of reasons but a striking one is how well you interrogate the relationships between family. When you described Itachi’s death as Sasuke losing a part of him, I really felt that. And here when you write about the way Sasuke takes after Fugaku and hates it and is also exasperated from it, just like how his father likely is, it just runs bone deep. You really know how to speak to life experiences and relationships in consistently intimate ways. I love that about you

This is his reality now — no more dream, no more Itachi; and pretty soon, no more Sakura.

’It hurts,’ Sasuke thought. 'It hurts, aniki.’

Wow death by angst lmao thanks for the pain, maren, glad to know you like to torture your readers as much as our ninja babies. Srsly tho the cadence of these lines and the material itself sync up perfectly. It’s such powerful writing

This entire scene is stuffed to the brim with dread and turbulence, and it’s so lifelike, I feel it’s haunting. The way you describe the suffocating atmosphere of the car ride, how Sasuke snaps at Sakura for simply knowing that something is up, the awkwardness of the dinner… You really brought so much passion into these scenes, I feel like I’m being tortured right with them lol

I looooooove the drama of this playing out omg. The way you have this convo go down is like a punch to the gut. Sakura announcing her acceptance to Harvard, and then her refusal to go. Sasuke knowing he’s the reason why…the guilt…the anger…

Also omfg these lines:

Sasuke hardened his resolve and stiffly said, “No. I don’t need you, Sakura.”

’Yes, I do.’

Sakura shook her head, “Yes, you do.”

I DIED. Sakura callin’ him out on his bull shit I fucking LOST IT lmaooOOooo I love this so much and I love how you write their dynamic! It’s funny how this fic plays into a lot of romantic clichés but also subverts them—gives them a twist that knocks the reader right off their feet. It’s honestly incredible

I loved the way you brought in winter into this scene too. The image of it, the feel of it, the terrible, lonely tone. It suits the entire mood of it all.

This is going to sound super dumb but I genuinely love how much agency you give Sakura btw. You probably know I’m a raging, batshit feminist by now and I gotta say, her dialogue is consistently powerful and reeks of someone who knows who they are, and their worth, even when in the fallout of a relationship where they are getting the short end of the stick. Like I’m just sitting here reading “Sasuke, you dumb jackass, what are you doing” lmfaoooo LIKE GURL I WOULD TREAT U SO GOOD…. SAKU BB IM SO SORRY BUT ALSO TRUST I KNOW HOW IT BE

I really do love it. And I love how you wrote Sakura as an orphan too. It really flips the script on the canon material (eat shit, kishimoto!! Women can have trauma and real backstories not centered around men, u misogynistic pile of adskjfhsklhfalkd) I just feel she’s very well written, and tangible, and powerfully human. I’d be just as smitten as Sasuke tbh

The last scene is so upsetting… it’s also strangely warming too though. It’s terrible Sasuke’s been broken down like this, but there’s something about this scene where he feels raw, and expresses his pain in a very infantile way, literally crying out to his mother about how it hurts. I really feel he’s been stripped of not just his life, but himself, under the weight of Itachi’s death and all that’s come with it, and it makes my heart ache. I loved this chapter, in all it’s infinite sadness.

Part II

He closed his eyes and thought about his talk with his father earlier, “We’re okay now. He called me while I was with Itachi.”

Love the ease and depth of this single line of dialogue. How Itachi is not alive but is still with him, and how it speaks to the way we humans grieve and the continuity and strength of relationships even after someone leaves. It’s just very simple and human, and it popped out at me.

He couldn’t even remember the last time they talked on the phone, or the last time he heard Fugaku as a father, not as the Uchiha patriarch.

Uggghhhhhhh this is exactly how I felt Fugaku was like in canon too. This fic is just full of brilliance, I really adore the way you describe all the relationships, but the complexity between Sasuke’s and Fugaku’s is really striking to me. You nail it perfectly.

And this whole intro where Fugaku apologizes to Sasuke and tells him he is proud…. I feel as if a major levee has been broken. While he’s in front of Itachi’s grave too. This Sasuke really has that same parallel with the one in canonverse where I feel he is held back by his family trauma, family obligations, the weight of blood. And this scene feels like a breaking point. Where Sasuke can be a man instead of an Uchiha, in the same way Fugaku gives him this moment as a father instead of an Uchiha patriarch. It certainly feels like a cleansing of sorts.

Once you thought you’re over it, one pink-haired beacon of spring will bloom in your eternal winter and blow all your progress into next week. What a woman. He will never find anyone better.

AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA !!!! this IS what I mean!!! His inner thoughts of her ugh….i’m so weak…Sasuke you lovesick fool…. And the return of the beautiful seasons motif. I love this so much

You can say they were drunk — with liquor, with each other, with love.

I just adore this line. It really emphasizes the vibe of their past relationship and the picture as a whole, and just that electric feeling of being consumed with someone. The description and cadence of it is just really catching, and I love it

God, this entire scene. Damn, maren. It’s criminal how well you write the tension of such a casual conversation. It feels as if an interrogation of sorts is occurring, and yet it’s still a heartwarming kind. Sakura is not vicious or mal-intentioned in inquiries and yet it still leaves Sasuke weak and defenseless if only because of his feelings for her. There’s so many ways you assert it too. It’s in every line, every detail. This one in particular stood out to me:

Sasuke clenched his fist under the table and scoffed, “I hope my mother didn’t tell you how miserable I was.”

'Still am,’ he corrected in his mind. 'How miserable I still am.’

I remember you used this particular tactic when also describing Itachi’s feelings from Sasuke’s POV. (Something along the lines of how he does became how he did because he is gone) In this fic where time is moving back and forward in a non-linear fashion, these details are especially striking. Despite the changes and pushes and pull, this one fact is consistent—Sasuke loves Sakura. And we, as readers, relearn it with every line.

Also I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOvE that Mikoto saw Sakura off, and that there is this undertone of a bond. Like ughhhhh I’ve so been there, where there’s that depth of understanding between women and relationships that men don’t always know about or know how to grapple with it. My ex resented me for it lmfao

Adkjfasklfalsjdkfakls SASUKE CAN RELATE TO HIM APPARENTLY AHAHAHAAHHA B SNAPPEDDDD I totally get it though, it’s a little intrusive of Sakura to ask for that, but we all also know why she did. Poor saku bb is in love with this emotionally constipated idiot lmao. Oh I love the endless pining and miscommunication of it all !!!

“I thought you’d be here,” a voice came and knocked on the closed door of his heart. He turned his face towards it, he saw her and suddenly his doors came opening again.

The winter sun was directly behind her, giving her this eerie glow. Like a nymph; a spring nymph being born in his perpetual winter. He shivered inside.

Back at it again with that seasonal motif !!!! ugh you are killing me. I also really loved the phrase “knocked on the closed door of his hear.” You really have such a way with these metaphors and images, it’s so striking and makes the narrative of this piece so brilliant

and silence is a comfortable companion back then. When they became lovers, it was like their platonic third-wheel aside from Naruto.

Ngl I busted out laughing on that one. “aside from Naruto” hahaaaa I love the way you include him in this fic tbh. He’s not a very big focus, but he still feels like an integral part of this story, not just as Sasuke’s best friend, but also as another device to unite Sasuke and Sakura. Also he’s pretty fantastic comic relief, probably just as much for the two of them as for the reader.

I really love the way this convo goes down, and the change of scenery from the coffee shop to the playground. Considering the way their love at this point is founded in nostalgia (and perhaps something else, but let’s ignore that for a second) it’s so fitting for them to finally stripping away the masks and cloaks and being genuine with one another—Sakura talking about how she knew all along, and Sasuke finally admitting he still loves her.

I also loved that Karin broke off the engagement!!!!!! And how she did it and how you described it ughghhghg I love this. You really spoke to her character growth and development in canon too. It’s trivial compared to everything else that’s going on, but I love it.

…the pink of her hair, the green of her irises and the gold of the sun slowly setting down behind her.

Sasuke couldn’t see her clearly anymore, only the faint glow of her weeping eyes and the halo on her head made by the sun.

You think you’re slick don’t you…you think you’re some kind of mastermind with these subtle references/images…..well guess what bitch….YOU ARE

I looooove how you tied the music back in. Ugh this departure!! MY HEART!!! Also I’m seeing a handful of songs I love including OUR BOIIIII !!!! rex orange county uhhghhgjak maren this is the romance of a lifetime I AM WEAK

Ughh the forehead kiss…..that was so sweet. I loved Sakura’s choice to give him that bit of affection. This scene is so beautifully intimate, despite their positions.

Omg I FINISHED HOLY SHIT!!! And Sasuke doesn’t get back with her! Wow! Honestly, as much as my shipper heart is like, violently frothing at the mouth and saying “okay they totally got back together down the line tho like THEY HAD TO THEY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER WHAT IS TH—" I actually have such a deep appreciation for this ending. Their relationship in this almost feels dream-like, and with the way the story unfolds, even if they still loved each other in the end (and I really don’t doubt that they do. We don’t have Sakura’s perspective, but we also don’t need it. the affections are clear) it doesn’t mean they will end up together or are even really suited for each other in such a way.

Their love in this actually really reminds me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Have you seen that movie? I just really get that vibe at the end. This entire romance cuts very deep and is very passionate and leaves me feeling so whimsical. I really loved this story, Maren… thank you for sharing it with all of us. thank you for writing it. You’re really one of a kind and you and this story has my whole heart <333

Also I’m sorry this is so late, but when I said I am going to write you a review, what I meant was I am going to write you a review. This English degree is good for nothing but sending elaborate love letters to friends and writers in the form of literary analyses and stupid overreactions and BY GOD I WILL NOT LET THIS CRIPPLING COLLEGE DEBT GO TO WASTE !!!

#sasusaku #ss fanfiction #ik its been like a year im sorry #but ily and ur my fav 5evr pls marry me maren my love

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goodproofingwater · 5 years

Text

Wildfire Records - Chapter Eleven

Word count: 4077

“He did what?!” Juliet almost spat out her cappuccino as Victoria gave her the low down.

It had been too long since the girls had a proper catch-up, and she was half glad that Andy had fucked up her morning so they had an excuse to get out.

“Yeah..” Victoria sipped her macchiato, placing it carefully down on the saucer before she glanced at her phone, rolling her eyes as she saw the fourth message that came through from Andy. For someone that had cared so little that he slept with someone 20 feet from her, he was sure chasing her a lot.

Andy [TD]: Come on babe, forgive me?

Andy [TD]: It was just one time, it meant nothing!

Andy [TD]: Was just trying to get us on the radio and it worked!

Andy [TD]: U can’t just run off, i’m gonna be here waiting for u and we’re gonna sort this out.

“Is that him?” Juliet asked, sitting up straighter as Victoria showed her the screen and the brunette rolled her eyes so hard they could have fallen out of her head. “Jesus, how can someone be such a fuck boy?”

“I know..” Victoria sighed, “I can’t believe that I didn’t see this before. Why did I even start sleeping with him?”

“Because he’s cocky, has a six pack and caught you when you were on drugs.” Juliet chuckled a little at the words and Victoria nodded, impressed at how well her friend had hit the nail on the head, “Also I think you were probably a little vulnerable. You just walked out of your job and moved out of your house, and you were in limbo with Josh..”

Juliet spoke before she sipped her coffee with raised eyebrows, wondering if the red head was ready to admit what her and Danny already knew.

The comment caught the younger girl off guard and she shook her head, “What do you mean?”

Juliet rolled her eyes once more, but this time it was different, a playful remark as she glanced down at Victoria's phone which again went off. This time the girl didn’t frown, but a small smile washed over her features and she immediately picked up the device, tapping away.

“I mean you had no idea if Josh wanted you so you were feeling vulnerable. Obviously you know how you feel about him now right?” Juliet spoke, and Victoria rested the top of her phone against her lips as she held it with two hands, contemplating the question and wondering if she should say it out loud.

Of course, she had an inkling of how she felt, but she had been heartbroken so recently, and was so scared of getting hurt again that she couldn’t let the feelings through. Still, when he had texted her to say good morning she had felt the same butterflies she felt when he kissed her forehead the previous evening. The same butterflies she felt when he had held her from behind in the kitchen and she had wished his lips had met her own.

“I don’t..” Victoria took a deep breath and shook her head, sipping her coffee before she started again, “I can’t think about anything like that right now…”

Juliet nodded, not wanting to push, but Danny and herself had been watching from the sidelines the whole time and were so close to just locking them both in the same room until they got together.

“You and Danny are pretty solid now though, right?” Victoria spoke, grinning as her friend almost visibly blushed at the mention of the brunettes name. “God, you guys are so cute it makes me sick..” She grinned and Juliet nudged the younger girls leg with her foot beneath the table.

“Oh shut up..” She grinned, “But yeah we’re pretty solid. He introduced me to his mum on facetime the other night.” Juliet was smiling so wide that it looked like it must hurt, and Victoria couldn’t help but mirror it. She was so happy that this wonderful woman in front of her had met her soulmate.

“How was that?” Victoria spoke, sitting back and allowing Juliet to talk about how well it went, the conversations that they had and the plans that they already had for Danny’s mum to meet her. They had solid plans for Juliet to go back with the boys at the end of their one year trip here and stay with them for a few weeks, and Victoria hoped more than anything that she could join the trip if only to visit California.

“Well, I’m happy for you..” The redhead grinned, glancing at her phone and chuckling as she saw that Josh had sent her a video selfie of him rolling his eyes.

J: Andy won’t shut the fuck up about this radio bullshit and how you almost kicked him in the face this morn

J: well done lmao you should have :P x

“We’d all be happy for you too y’no… Whenever you’re both ready to stop being so dumb…” Juliet grinned over her coffee, and Victoria shook her head with a laugh.

Josh had been sitting in the living room attempting to ignore the ramblings of his friend. Both Danny and himself were frustrated with his take on what had happened the previous evening, and while Danny was trying to remain as impartial as possible and was humoring Andy’s concerns, Josh was finding it difficult to contain his anger.

Texting Victoria was helping, her fast responses keeping him from hearing some of the worst responses to Danny mentioning the fact that he shouldn’t have slept with anyone else in the first place, but when Andy laughed at the fact that Victoria had slapped him, it was enough to rile Josh into standing and walking to the kitchen.

“You think it’s funny?” Josh placed both hands on the opposite side of the breakfast bar to Andy, eyes narrowing and brow furrowing in anger, Danny looking nervously between the two men in front of him.

“I think it’s funny that she got so upset when we were never exclusive, yeah..” Andy let out another laugh from his lips, and Josh took a small step back, running his thumb along his bottom lip as he looked at Andy with pure anger.

“I think you better get out of here before I fucking kill you.” Josh spoke, and Danny rounded the counter to stand closer to his friend, ready to push him back should something break out.

“You’re gonna kill me because I got us a spot on a radio show?” Andy chuckled, squaring his shoulders, elevating his jaw with a cocky smirk that made Josh even more angry.

“Fuck you, you piece of shit,” Josh spat, “If you really think that what you did is justified just because she has a radio show you’re more deluded than I thought.”

Josh moved forward and Danny grabbed his arm, shaking his head, “Come on. Roof. Now.”

The blonde looked at Danny, wanting to deny him and launch himself over the counter but knowing that his friend was right. Both of them were well versed in Andy’s arrogance, well experienced in what to do to ensure that it didn’t end up in a massive bust up, and leaving him to himself was the best way to deal with it. Josh would have had more of an issue leaving an argument where he knew he was right if ignoring Andy didn’t have as much of an effect as it did. If there was anything that Andy hated more than anything it was being ignored.

Pulling out a packet of cigarettes, Josh lit one and took a long drag as he shook his head, Danny watching him with careful eyes in case he decided to go back downstairs.

“How can he be so fucking stupid?” Josh almost spat, flicking the dead ash off the end of his cigarette before he took another drag, “So fucking heartless - did you see how fucking upset she was?”

Danny shook his head and sipped the coffee he had bought up with him, “I did - I don’t know either man. You know what Andy’s like, he always finds a way to justify his bullshit.” He let out a sigh and Josh shook his head, completely unsatisfied with the answer from his best friend.

He stood, his entire face contorted with anger as he willed himself not to go down there and burn his cigarette out on Andy's face just so he felt something other than the numbness that came with a cocaine high. Because how else could he be like this? He had always been arrogant and cocky, but he had never been so hurtful. Perhaps he didn’t understand what it felt like to be so betrayed by someone, and he hadn’t seen just how hurt V had been when she had been up here crying in his arms.

“She was fucking distraught up here, Dan..” Josh spoke, taking a quick drag before he continued, pacing as he spoke, “Literally crying her eyes out because he wasn’t even decent enough to tell her he was gonna fuck someone else - and he thinks it’s fucking funny?” Josh took another long drag before he threw the butt on the floor and stumped it out, deliberately avoiding the ashtrays on the table that Andy insisted they use.

“Josh.. I know that he’s an asshole, but you have to just leave him to it. This is exactly like the time we tried to get Drew to join as the bassist, remember?”

It had been the plan for a long time that they would get their mutual friend to play bass in The Dangers, they had auditioned him and everyone was in agreement but then the trio played what was supposed to be their last show as just the three of them and Andy had changed his mind. He had kicked off so much at Drew that the guy had barely spoken to Josh and Danny for weeks, and it was only when the bassist had said that he didn’t think he could be a band with the redhead anyway that the two had given up. The similarity was that Andy had justified his actions with an argument where he genuinely believed three pieces were more successful, that it would be easier to have him play bass and they would have to carry less equipment to shows because they wouldn’t have the additional guitar. It had never been an option that Andy would only sing.

“Yeah, it’s like that except if he said yeah, Drew had come over here with us and then he’d kicked him out of the band and the house.” Josh sighed and sat down, wishing that their friend was easier to deal with, that he wasn’t such a prick.

“Leave him to stew by himself for a while. He’ll apologise to Vic, you know he will. He’s an asshole but he’s not completely oblivious.” Josh flinched at the words and tried to keep his concerns from showing on his face, but he knew he was not the best at that.

In an incredibly selfish way, he had been hoping that Andy and Victoria would just never talk again. What if Andy apologised and she took him back? She had been so angry and upset that he seriously doubted it even being an option in her mind, but she deserved so much better.

“He’s a fucking prick.” Josh spoke, lighting up another cigarette and watching as an amused smile filtered over his friends face. “What? Do you want one?” The blonde held out the packet with one hand.

“No..” Danny chuckled, shaking his head and sipping his coffee, “I’m just wondering if you realise that you’re way too close to this..”

Josh’s brow furrowed in confusion as he tapped the end of the cherry in the ashtray, and threw the cigarette packet on the table, waiting for his friend to continue.

“I mean.. You like her right?” Danny shrugged as if it was the most obvious and non-chalant comment ever, and Josh looked up at his friend under his lashes, trying to stifle the smile that came from his best friend being able to pick up on his feelings before he had vocalised them.

Josh thought about his answer before he gave it. He wanted to deny it, wanted to keep pretending that his feelings for V weren’t affecting everything he was doing but what was the point? Even if he was being strategic because she had just finished with his friend, this was Danny he was talking to. Danny quite often knew things about Josh before he did himself.

“Yeah…” Josh shrugged in return, taking another drag from his cigarette before looking up at his friend, “I mean, he’s still a prick though.”

“Oh yeah, he’s still a prick..” Danny nodded in agreement, “But you think he’s more of a prick because he cheated on the girl that you like.. So maybe just.. Maybe just remember that before you go around throwing punches.”

Josh chuckled at his friends words, shaking his head, his words quiet as he admitted out loud for the first time, “Trust me, it’s not something I can stop thinking about.”

He cleared his throat and took another drag before he continued, “How did you know?”

Danny let out a laugh that was louder than Josh had been expecting and he shook his head with a wide grin.

“You wrote a song called Red that had the lyrics ‘You’re not mine’ in them over and over…” Danny chuckled, sipping his coffee, “I know that I can usually pick up on how you’re feeling without you saying anything but dude.. You may as well be wearing a shirt that says ‘I HEART VICTORIA’ in massive red letters.”

Josh grinned at his friend, shaking his head, “I thought I was being subtle..”

“It was about as subtle as Justin Timberlake writing Cry Me A River about Britney Spears and then putting a lookalike in the video…” He grinned and Josh shook his head, letting out a deep chuckle.

“Do you think she knows?” Josh asked, looking up at his friend with a coy look in his eye, hoping that this conversation would never be spoken about again. He felt like he was in high school with all this ‘who likes who’ bullshit but while they were on the subject…

“I think she might have an idea, but she hasn’t said anything to Juliet about it. It was just as obvious to Juliet by the way..” Josh chuckled and bit his lip before he let out a deep sigh.

“Guess I better wait for a while to suggest any of the other stuff i’ve written over the last couple of weeks then..”

Danny grinned, “Nah dude, you gotta let it out in some way. We’re certainly not getting any lyrics from Pablo Escobar down there are we…”

Josh grinned, the joke cracking him up and he put out his cigarette as he heard a door close from below.

“Now come on, let's get you some coffee and hear the 500 songs you’ve written about unrequited love..”

The time the boys spent in the studio became one of their most productive moments, 5 different songs demoed and 3 that Andy actually liked. Danny had known that getting the boys in the studio together would help them sort out their beef, and it did. They had always been able to put aside anything for the music.

“This one — this one's my favourite,” Andy spoke, and Danny glanced at Josh as a small smirk plastered its way across his features. Andy had chosen the song that Josh had written about him.

“Alright,” Josh grinned, “get in that booth and we’ll do your vocals” He sat up in his chair ready to work, but then turned his head as a knock permeated the room.

“Come in..” Danny called, and Victoria poked her head around the door, pointedly avoiding Andy’s eyes.

“We’re getting a take away, do you want anything?” She offered to Danny and Josh, walking into the studio and taking a seat next to the blonde to show him the menu she had up on her phone. As Danny and Josh were looking, Andy moved behind the chair and lowered his hands to Victoria’s neck in an attempt to give her a massage as he had done in the past, but she leaned forward and eventually stood up when he wouldn’t relent.

“Get your hands away from me,” Victoria spoke, moving to stand next to Danny as Josh looked between the red heads, ready to make a move if he needed to.

“Babe come on, this is getting stupid now.” Andy sighed, visibly annoyed having obviously not thought through implications of his actions.

“Stupid?!” Victoria spat, and Josh stood up in his chair in time to stop her from launching herself at his friend. Josh held her waist and pushed her back toward the couches that sat opposite the mixing desk, and she spat profanities over his shoulder at the redhead who stood there in shock.

“Woah, woah, woah, lets keep this away from the million dollar recording equipment shall we?” Danny spoke, pressing his hand to Andy's chest to stop him from approaching Victoria. It was clear that he had no idea how much he had hurt her, and thought he could make it up but just apologising.

“I said fucking sorry!” Andy spoke, and Victoria let out an exhausted laugh

“Oh ,you’re sorry?! Take your apology and shove it up your ass you ignorant, self obsessed, narcissist.” Josh couldn’t help but grin a little at her words, the fire in her something that just made her more attractive.

“You’re gonna miss me and come crawling back you just wait,” Andy spoke, his cocky smile enough to make Victoria try and push past Josh, but he held her firmly in place with his hands on her waist.

“I wouldn’t crawl back to you if your cock was the last source of oxygen on the planet” she spat, and Josh and Danny let out a small laugh. Shock washed over Andy's face, and Josh bit his lip to keep from laughing as he watched Victoria’s features change from anger to a small smile as she realised what she had said.

“Pretty strong image you conjured up there..” Josh smirked, eyes darting from her own to her swollen lips and god did he want to kiss her.

“Yeah… maybe you could put it in one of your tracks..” she chuckled, resting her hands on his biceps as his hands remained on her waist, and it felt so good to be held like this by him.

Andy’s eyes darted from Josh to the girl that had been his and felt his stomach drop a little. She had been his, was his girl. They were going to argue and then sort it all out like he always did with everyone, were going to end up back in his room with his hand around her throat as he buried himself deep inside of her just the way she liked it..

Except maybe they weren’t. Was it possible that he had gone too far this time? That this girl wouldn’t forgive him? Did she… did she prefer Josh?

“Whatever.” Andy shook his head and muttered to himself before he walked to the vocal booth, “someone record my vocal track for this stupid song.”

Josh smirked as he turned to Danny, reluctantly moving his hands from her and smiling as she sat back next to him, their knees touching.

The boys chose dinner while Andy recorded a vocal track that was about himself, and when the food arrived they all sat around the dining table.

“Well isn’t this civilised..” Juliet spoke as they handed around boxes of mu shu pork and noodles. Victoria chuckled, picking up a piece of pork from Josh’s plate with a grin and he looked up at her with a mock shocked face. Andy sat opposite them, quiet for once and seething with anger at what was happening in front of him.

“Yeah.. super civilised..” Danny spoke, smirking as he watch Josh steal from Victoria’s plate, and Andy flicked a song on the sonos, staring at his plate as they ate.

Victoria couldn’t help but feel the butterflies again as she sat next to Josh, each touch of their knees to each other’s, each playful grin bringing her closer to him. He had taken her broken heart and held it so it couldn’t break further, and although she was still hurting she was more than happy to trust him with it. He always had made her happier than anyone else, now she felt like she was allowed to let it show.

After a few bottles of red between them, Andy stood and left his plate, grabbing his jacket from where he had left it on the couch.

“Where you going?” Danny called after him but was met only with the front door slamming as a response.

“Probably going to pick up..” Victoria spoke with a sigh, sipping her wine and shrugging.

“Are we gonna talk about how much of a problem he has?” Juliet spoke, the Malbec making her bolder than she would be usually. Danny and Josh made eyes at each other and shuffled uncomfortably, “I mean I know you guys want to stay out of it but half the reason he fucked over Vic is because he’s high all the time..”

“King…” Victoria started and she shook her head.

“No, Vic someone has to say it. He thinks he’s invincible because he does about a gram a day and everyone’s just acting like he’s fine..”

“He is getting worse..” Danny spoke, and Josh nodded in agreement, his arm moving to rest on the back of Victoria’s chair, his thumb absentmindedly running along the back of her neck. Victoria’s body erupted with goosebumps, and she couldn’t concentrate on such a serious conversation when both him and the wine were lulling her into an almost meditative state.

“I’m not talking to him, I’ll end up punching the guy..” Josh spoke and Danny sighed, clenching his jaw in an obvious sign of frustration. He was always the one that had to be impartial, and while he didn’t mind for the sake of keeping the peace it did get a little tiring.

“Fine, I’ll speak to him. But it’s not going to do any good, not when him and Vic are still not talking.” He shrugged and sipped his wine, Victoria immediately feeling uncomfortable. She knew that she had been something of an anchor to Andy, that while he had been making her do more drugs than she was used to, he also did less than normal when he was with her.

“He’s going to have to get over it, I’m not letting him get away with hurting me like that..” she spoke, and was glad for Josh’s hand moving so he could grab his glass. His smooth and soft movements were enough to make her heart beat faster, and she wasn’t sure she would be able to hold back if he touched her like that again. She had been so hurt and didn’t want to jump back into anything, but it was so hard to resist someone who looked after her, who cared for her so well.

“I’ve got these tickets to visit Abbey Road and have a tour. Why don’t we go, and while we’re gone Dan can speak to Andy and get him to lay off hm?” Josh spoke, placing his glass down and returning his hand to the back of her chair.

Juliet looked between them, shaking her head and smiling into her wine glass. Was it clear to the two of them how much they were acting like a couple? Could they remove themselves from the situation enough to see how perfect they would be if they just gave into their affections?

“Sure..” Victoria spoke, and Josh smiled in a way that made her stomach do a backflip. When did everything that he did become so damn attractive or cute? She was sure this wasn’t an issue before, that she had known he was hot and had stared at his lips on one too many an occasion but this was a whole new level.

She was falling for him.

#wildfire records #lauren writes #wadduppppp

5 notes · View notes

aijee · 3 years

Note

hello! i’m the anon who left the 6-part ask regarding mg a few months ago (i refer to those asks bc i’m back to drop more thoughts about mg and might touch on what i previously said). i wrote this whole thing disregading word count, believing i could drop it all in one go because i managed to log in to my tumblr, but it seems i still have to break it up… lmao i don’t know how many parts this will be or if i could post it all tonight, but i will signify the very end with “6-part anon” :)

Cont’d with response under the cut (I made some executive decisions about where the paragraphs break lol so it’s not all one block of text):

they want to be famous; that part just came along with the package. then i read in your bts post, you see mg as more wrapped up in entertainment, having star power with a bright personality, liking the limelight. reading that, i do agree, but i guess ive never thought of that before. i think wanting to be a star and wanting to be in the spotlight can seem self-centered. i hope im not coming across like im judging everyone who wants to be famous as “bad” because that’s not what i’m trying to do, but i think it’s safe enough to say that wanting to be famous means wanting people’s attention on you. i’m trying to tread carefully but i suppose i am saying that on the surface, wanting to be a big star can seem a little selfish in the sense that you want to boost your image, present your best self at all times, want people’s eyes on you and want them to think good things about you. combining those general thoughts about wanting to be a star, with my thoughts about mg in particular, is interesting to me.

i’ve always seen him as someone so selfless, so lovely, so considerate towards others. throughout idotsc, you’ve written him throughout as someone so amiable, liked by everyone, and also selfless and considerate. and in chp 7, his reaction twds the pictures is... well, I think they’re pretty true to character, and again i think it shows selflessness. then the ‘Love Languages’ text that OP had written— while, of course, OP doesn’t know him and everything is an assumption to a certain degree, I think their writing summarizes in one place what I observed about mg through the content available to the public: he constantly gives to people around him, exhibiting sincerity, words of gratitude and acts of service. at the same time, i definitely agree with what you said about his star quality, so i think that was the first time i really stopped to examine my thoughts about stardom and how some things may not be mutually exclusive.

“stardom” also makes me think about his recent incident, because of course, such incidents are definitely a potential consequence of fame. during that time i’ve also come across several opinions saying that they’re not surprised if a current idol was a past bully… i don’t remember exactly what people said but i think it was somewhere along the lines of, if they were so confident and cocky since predebut, then they might have had the qualities of a bully. something like that. i think from the outside looking in, it may be easier to equate star quality with a diva attitude/disregard twds others.

one thing i’d like to add is sth that a famous person said abt fame, and why they value it more than money, bc if they meet a fan, the look on the fan’s face upon meeting them gives them a feeling money can’t buy. and i suppose from this angle, being a star seems selfless. with svt too, they expressed how meaningful it is to them that theyre able to bring us so much joy. i think from the outside looking in, it may be easier to equate star quality with a diva attitude/disregard twds others. one thing i’d like to add is sth that a famous person said abt fame, and why they value it more than money, bc if they meet a fan, the look on the fan’s face upon meeting them gives them a feeling money can’t buy. and i suppose from this angle, being a star seems selfless. with svt too, they expressed how meaningful it is to them that theyre able to bring us so much joy.

i hope this all makes sense; i had lots of thoughts and wanted to try to write them. i struggled to understand why one would want to be a star, and went in circles questioning if i thought it was more selfish or selfless, and what one’s true motives might be behind wanting fame. ik u implied u embrace long writing bc you also write in length, but i’m less eloquent than you are so i hope this was fine! thank you again for having a space where people could offload their thoughts :) ~6-part anon~

There’s a lot to unpack here, isn’t there! A buffet of food for thought, for sure. I can’t possibly respond to everything written here because there’s just so many points, so I’ll write a few points. As always, take what I write with a grain of salt.

I don’t think there’s anything bad or inherently wrong with pointing out that, hey, people who are interested in a profession necessarily tied to a public image probably to show off or want attention. These things are perfectly natural to want, even for people who aren’t celebrities, because we’re (1) inherently social creatures and a lot of our survival is contingent on external success, and (2) we are brought up to feel validation from others, especially in an age where our lives are much more on display. But I can see why “selfishness” may be thrown in the mix because we often look down on attention-seekers and “popular” people, many of whom exhibit arrogant/tone-deaf behaviors. On the other hand, it’s understandable that an idol with a big public image necessitates putting their best foot forward all the time to maintain good opinion of them and to earn more money, frankly.

I’ve probably repeated myself too many times, but something I’ve been grappling with recently is this black-and-white mindset/judgment system we often have of others (very much exacerbated by social media, e.g. witch hunts). Bad is bad, good is good. I’ve thought this way for a long time of myself in an upbringing that always punished/looked down on bad behavior (or what was considered behavioral flaws, like speaking out against elders, swearing as a femme person, etc.) rather than acknowledging that “bad” behavior can be exhibited by people who also do and act “good.” In short, while I can only speak from my perspective, I think we’re programmed to subconsciously seek behavioral perfection for a number of reasons: we were raised that way by family; and/or society; we feel judged by the presence of social media and greater access into our lives; accessibility to celebrities and “perfect” public figures makes us judge ourselves by comparison; education systems that poorly address internal learning as well as external learning, etc.

In Mingyu’s case, there’s nothing wrong with seeing and continuing to see him as all those good qualities in my opinion. There’s nothing wrong with grappling with potential past problematic behaviors of your faves, as long as you’re critical and open-minded about the parties involved (which is rarely ever a fanbase at large, but the skewed authority of a fanbase is a different can of worms). Idols are human, which means dealing with the good and bad that comes with interacting humans. Contrary to popular belief (and I write this sarcastically), people CAN change. People should be ALLOWED to change. Characters are static. People are not. And it’s sad to say that this is still an issue in the K-Pop world.

As hard as it sounds, a person who bullied others in the past could still have good or pure intentions for becoming an idol. They could still feel fulfillment from making others happy; is that a bad thing? I personally don’t think so. Or maybe a person’s intentions for becoming an idol could be mixed good or bad, who the fuck knows? Not us. Honestly, I firmly believe that we fans don’t have the right to make definitive moral judgments of idols in the first place because we don’t know them personally. That, and people are extremely complex and hard to categorize, as much as we want to because it’s easier to do so. People are messy. Real life teaches us that more than the Internet does imo.

In any case, I don’t think selfishness and selflessness are mutually exclusive in the same way a person can be both good and bad. I learned that language, too, is a powerful vehicle that influences how we think. In that vein, with how compartmentalized definitions are in specific words, perhaps we think that their existence/practice is separate, i.e. being “selfish” is never being “selfless” because each word’s definition exists solely in their respective word and not the other (hopefully that makes some sense).

TL;DR: I think wanting attention and validation from others is okay and not inherently a bad thing, and people are fucking messy and rarely good without the bad (and vice versa).

Pretty sure I rambled a ton as well and probably didn’t hit that many points that you offered, anon. You ended up putting me on a thought train as well!

#askaijee

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mc-dude · 7 years

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I read someone saying halbarry is toxic cuz hal is selfish, arrogant and only into it for sex and barry is a self righteous asshole who will try to change hal's personality lmao during their friendship barry always respected who hal is, hal was with barry after he returned from the death and when all that shit with thawne happened, both of them complimented each other (especially behind their backs lol) it's a pure, selfless, sweet friendship and people shouldn't disrespect it liek this

Anything who thinks Hal is selfish is seriously deluding themselves. Hal is constantly sacrificing literally everything for the good of the universe/other people like.. how could you ever think he’s selfish? In the latest arc he literally sacrificed himself (again.. for like the 5th time) to save his friends and the universe from the yellow lantern’s fear engine knowing that he would die from it. actually the opposite of selfish. Give me a single example of hal jordan being selfish in any modern comic. I’d love to see one.

hal is selfless to a fault– to the point where he’s constantly throwing himself in front of projectiles or head-first into danger just because he values his life so little above anyone else’s. he’s always the first one to get hurt in battle and you know why? because he doesn’t value himself above anyone else. he always thinks he’ll go out in a blaze of glory like his dad and he would be 100% fine with dying protecting his friends. im (not) sorry but anyone who thinks hal is selfish just doesn’t know the character at all. do some research. read a comic.

Hal is arrogant, but it’s more of like he’s cocky because he knows he looks good or knows he can move the planet out of orbit with just his willpower or something.. like underneath all the bravo he’s horribly self-conscious. not about his looks but he’s so full of self-loathing for the kind of person he thinks he is. he thinks that anyone who has the misfortune of falling in love with him will leave him once they realise how exhausting he is and it makes him constantly terrified that the people closest to him are gonna disappear. he’s terrified of being alone. he’s constantly sabotaging relationships with shitty decision making just because he thinks if he gets it out of the way early maybe it’ll hurt less in the end. my boy is arrogant, but when it boils down to it he’s just been burnt too many times to not be afraid of the fire (and that fear he feels always makes him feel so weak bc he knows he’s supposed to be the “fearless” one and that just makes him hate himself more B( )

The whole “only into it for sex” thing is a kind of stereotype that people who don’t know much about hal’s character actually project onto him. sure, he likes casual sex. he likes one-night stands and late-night bootycalls but that’s mostly because when it’s casual there’s less risk of him getting attached, and when there’s less risk of him getting attached then there’s less risk of him getting his heart broken (again). he also just enjoys sex. there’s nothing wrong with that?? hal’s not the kind of guy who pussyfoots around if barry wanted to bang hal would make it clear if he wanted it to just be a casual thing. he doesn’t “use” people. in fact i’d argue that hal’s the one that’s constantly getting “used”.. just look at the 8 million plots of sinestro using hal to further his plans or carol using hal to keep her star sapphire powers (this is kinda due mostly to shitty writing tho not rly her character.. Just Venditti Things). hal is one of the most gullible people in the DCU and if you think he’d ever be the one “using” someone instead of getting used then.. again.. you just don’t know much about hal’s character.

as far as their complaints about barry like………… i can’t even take any of it seriously barry is the nicest guy in the world. he’s selfless to a fault (much like harold), and the only time he can be “self-righteous” is when he’s standing up for his belief that people need to respect the law. even then, he’s like never shown to be holding that over people?? he’ll break the law if he knows that the law is wrong, he’ll arrest himself if he thinks the people have a problem with him like………… this person doesn’t know barry at all either. maybe they’re thinking of barty from the cw? 0:-)

and lmao “change hal’s personality”.. barry is literally the ONLY person who doesn’t try to change who hal is... ok Tom also.. but like carol in the 70s literally forced him to choose between the ring and her because she couldn’t deal with him being away for so long (which im not saying is wrong for her to not want to deal with such a long-distance relationships but like…… it was obvious how much the corps meant to hal so ultimately it was the textbook Selfish Maneuver on her part. just let him go, don’t force him to be miserable to be with you.. it’s not like hal ever breaks up with her on his own, it’s always her. it’s obvious he would go through great lengths to prevent people from leaving him….. anyways). barry is constantly shown in comics (brave & bold, blackest night, flash annual 002) never actually trying to change hal’s personality but instead understanding where hal’s coming from and trying to be a good friend. they’re both cops.. barry’s like one of the few people in hal’s life that understands duty to an organization that upholds the law and he would never try to get hal to change who he is. he’s also one of the few people who gives hal second chances.

anyways yeah.. to say halbarry is toxic is honestly laughable like.. if you say that i can’t help but think ur just trying to justify ur own shitty abusive/toxic ships involving hal (i bet i can guess what it is!!) by trying to tear down a ship that literally is the most wholesome friends-to-lovers mutual respect & supportive healthy relationship that dc has 0:-)

#anyways.. there u go.. i have Spoken.. this person is obviously deluded lol #or just knows nothing about either char at all #Anonymous

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