#it’s bad I know but I can’t sleep

[morganbritton132]

Eddie posts a Tiktok where he’s just explaining that TikTok trend where someone’s like ‘we’re (blank), of course blah blah blah’ to Steve. He’s like, “Wanna do one of those with me?”

Steve, who was just woken up from a nap so Eddie could explain this to him, is like, “Eddie…please, I cannot hear you if I don’t have my glasses on. Do not talk to me right now.”

#Eddie specifically waited until Steve was in a deep sleep to wake him up because he was more likely to say yes #don’t know how relatable this is to other people with bad eyesight but if I can’t see you I’m listening #eddie munson tiktok saga #eddie munson #steve harrington

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

Do you sleep with socks on

this is such a random ask that I feel like i’m morally required to answer it lol

and the answer is- this ✨mysterious✨ museum curator obviously never sleeps soooo that answers your question :)

#ask #the hellsite answers #anonymous #hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit #shitpost #shit post #also I actually haven’t been sleeping and just have been spending every waking moment texting #because like if I wasn’t a ✨mystery✨on here i’d SCREAM FROM THE TOO OF MY LUNGS THAT I HAVE A WONDERFUL GIRLFRIEND NOW #AND AM TOO DISTRACTED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT TALK WITH HER AND AAAHHH #but i’m a complete and total ✨mystery✨ so i’m totally not saying that ahahaha nope #mysterious museum curator tour guide barbie obviously isn’t saying that and totally can contain her excitement and be so so chill about this #hahaha of course #you know it’s bad when I can’t help but EMOTION POST ON MY HHOF BLOG AAAHHH #help y’all I have to chill #definitely delete this tags later oops #I can’t not post them tho or I might explode #but also #like I didn’t post the other day for the first time in like 4 months #like wtf #am too busyyyyyy aaaahhh #this is when someone needs to scream ‘go to sleep miss curator’ into the void bc I might need that oops #this is a mega shitpost wow

[lesbianfakir]

Not to get personal but I think the reason princess tutu stuck with me for so long after watching it is like. As someone with low self esteem and abandonment issues seeing our hero hate who she is at her core only to make a friend who not only tolerated her “ugly” side but is so so deeply charmed by who she is under the mask that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her no strings attached? That’s the fucking DREAM

It’s the fantasy of having someone who loves you even when you’ve stopped being useful, when you can’t be funny or interesting or any of the traits you try to cultivate to make yourself more palatable to others. It’s the fantasy of having someone see to the core of you and not flinching, instead, coming away more endeared than before.

Princess Tutu is about hope. When Duck, our hero who brings hope to everyone, falls into despair, her best friend is there to bring hope back to her. And I think it says something that hope is the emotion the show leaves me with too. Hope for a better future. Hope that one day, like Duck, I’ll grow out of the ugly duckling phase and be able to embrace my true self.

#it is 2 in the morning and I can’t sleep #this one is ok to reblog if it resonates #but who knows I don’t know if anyone feels the same way #anyways yippeeeee one of my friends just stopped texting me back #I know she’s busy and she has new friends and she’s moving on with her life #still hurts though #I thought she was a real friend but I’m so bad at judging these things #anyways these are sleepy girl rambles #need a crazy bitch like fakir in my life ASAP #I feel like one true friend who’s there no matter what could fix me #but I feel like as the therapist friend everyone expects me to help them with their problems #and when I stop being helpful and have problems of my own that’s when they leave #and you gotta say fuck em and move on but it’s hard #lea talks

[quinloki]

Realizing I cannot tell my cats that they are good and cute when I’m sleeping and now I’m sad.

#they’re so cute #I have to make sure they know #they’re good too #they don’t know how to be bad #they only know how to cat #they don’t like to be held so I need to tell them T-T #sleep is for so long though and I can’t say it when I’m sleeping 😭 #quin muses

[foxgloveinspace]

How do you save pics from instagram?? Do you HAVE to save them to your story?? Instagram is the only social media I share with my family so I can’t save a pic to my story, but everyone’s sharing that pic of Vessel kneeling in front of two (and a few of the others) but NO ONE is including the last pic on that post and it is BREATHTAKING.

#I am not beating the vessel simp allegations today #not that I ever am but damn it’s been awhile since I’ve felt THIS CRAZY about him lmao #very much so #sleep token #for blacklist #‘why can’t you save pics of sleep token to your story?’ CAUSE THEY ARE ALL MEGA CHRISTIANS AND WILL TELL ME IM GOING TO HELL #well… my mom will my sister already knows how down bad I am for them but she doesn’t KNOW know you know??

[stuckinapril]

I think I realized how severely humor infects all spaces when I witnessed two of my coworkers at the neuro clinic I’m interning at laughing at putting in a patient as deceased

#It wasn’t because the patient was dead it was because of an error the system did or something #But even joking about it in that context is fucking weird to me #I thought death would be the only thing humor couldn’t touch #Especially in the context of FTD which is a very aggressive dementia #I don’t think they’re bad people but I do think they’re weird as fuck for that #And if it were me I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I made that kind of joke #I don’t mean to be a buzzkill but I have my limits and wtf was that #I didn’t say anything I just pretended to be engrossed in my paperwork #The neurologist I’m shadowing wasn’t present #And while I do think she’s a little too robotic when dealing w patients I don’t think she’d have been in on that joke #Just odd idk the us healthcare system already has issues but I think a big one I’m starting to see is #How desensitized the healthcare workers get #Where’s your heart #I love medicine for the humanism of it I don’t wanna become like this one day #I know some people are gonna tell me it’s Just Two Coworkers Being Silly #But can’t they be silly about something else

[compacflt]

what are bradley’s earliest memories of ice and mav? the bits of his perspective on them that you’ve written are so fascinating

fairly unsurprising answer but: ice: when he came to see Carole to apologize for killing goose in ch 2 of wwgattai (sets the tone of their relationship)

mav: something very benign like mav doing magic tricks for him as a little little kid. you know how your earliest memories are always a little fuzzy and always afternoon sunshine? imagine a desaturated maverick sitting crosslegged in the grass in pale afternoon southern california sunshine showing Bradley how he can detach his thumb from his hand and then put it back again. no blood, no bone, no pain, and he’s got this daredevil grin like he’s enjoying separating his thumb from his hand. can’t see his eyes behind his aviators. the best magicians are the ones who can make even their pain disappear. or, playing “got your nose,” holding Bradley’s nose up so he can see it right in front of his very eyes, NO PAIN!, and then making it disappear. “where’d your nose go, Gosling? oh, my gosh, I lost your nose!! how’re you gonna smell? i bet you’re gonna smell bad. get it? get it? —here it is, i found it, don’t worry, it’s all good!” and putting his nose back so everything’s ok. that’s Bradley’s earliest memory of mav.

#Bradley’s nose (mavs thumb) is a foreshadowing metaphor for the academy here obviously #this is just my conjecture as a californian kid who was many times duped by the thumb trick myself. #You know where they screw it off and it really looks convincing #im closer to 10 years old than i am to 31 😞 ten years ago today i was at my little baseball summer camp :) in third grade #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun #asks #also ive had this little scene where he drives to their house in his moms car after some late high school event #only to find ice & mav passed out on the couch together at 9:30 at night with the tv still playing #because mav had made a home between ices arms and (tired fighter pilot after long day of drills) fell asleep there and what #was ice supposed to do; wake up an exhausted American hero & push him away? no. this isn’t so bad. —and then accidentally fell asleep too. #and bradleys just standing there in his homecoming tux going ‘oh this is real. oh they really are. oh. ok i will let them sleep.’ #and sneaking back into his moms car to go to his own house for once. #i can’t find anywhere to put that scene so you’re getting it in the tags of this post

[shima-draws]

Currently feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, hope you all are faring better than me lol

#Bro I was so. SO fucking sick last night #It was legitimately awful. Like there was a point where I thought ‘dying would be better than this’ #I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this sick #Emetophobia tw ahead— #But yeah I was throwing up like all night #And it was freezing inside the house so I was having like. MAJOR chills #I probably also had a fever at the time too fjdnndn #My body is so sore and achy it really does feel like I’ve been hit by a car #Just the combo of being in pain + being nauseous + having severe chills #And you know that feeling right before you throw up where you get the shivers so bad. IT WAS THE WORST. THE WORST!!!!! #I actually had to lie on my back for most of the night bc that helped curb the nausea a little #But ooough. The torture ladies and gents. #I still feel like shit but not nearly as bad as last night #Nausea’s gone now (thank GOD) #Hey do not get sick 0/10 do not recommend ever. #Shima speaks #Help I’m so achy and tired and sore and I just wanna sleep. My body will not let me tho 😭

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!! #but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me. #and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just— #sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

[laniemae]

hey so uh I’m back

kinda

I don’t know how to word this. But my break is over I guess. I ended up leaving for longer as I didn’t know how to handle returning and I wanted to do it on a better day, and I’m sorry if I made you worried.

Although with all of this it feels nothing has changed yet again. It feels like forever since I’ve been here and my break consisted of highs and lows where I felt I could do nothing and desperately needed to go back to tumblr, or I feel relaxed and it was a good idea.

it’s very hard. I’m considering actually leaving for good because of how my break affected me. But I’m going to try to intergrate myself back here, but I think it’s going to be very hard.

I’m still scared staying here and I feel like I’m stuck in a narrow space with no exit no matter what I do, I just hate everything I hate myself I just want help but there’s no one to get help from I have no idea what to do I feel exhausted yet I haven’t done anything I just don’t know where this is all going and I’m scared for the future

#I really don’t know if I should leave or not #ive been saying this a lot but this might be the actual time I’m truly considering it as I had some experience of that #Whatever that means #i feel like it’ll be relief either that or I’ll be even more stressed #I can’t tell because i experienced both emotions simultaneously during the leave #There’s also so much I want to share with everyone #I ended up ripping apart the Milgramblr tree #I didn’t feel anything not happiness not sadness but nothing #I just don’t know if I can take it anymore but I don’t even know the true source of what’s bothering me #I probably won’t continue my archives for a while because of this #And I need to vent here #FOR WHATVER FUCKING REWSON AS SOON AS I CAME BACK ALL OF THE PHOTOS GOT SHUFFLED AGAIN #AGAINNNNNN #AND I SPENT SO MUCH TIME REOGANISING THEM EHEN IT HAPPENED LAST WEEK #AND I ADDED SO MUCH NEE STUFF #Hehhhh it’s just some annoying it issue #But I guess this has been a bad start to everything #I just wanna sleep forever and not wake up

[castdowns]

the only half way safe space to be a lesbian is online and literally y’all fucking suck too, i am so depressed

#castdowns.txt #i hate conversion therapy i don’t want to be straight i don’t want to like men i don’t like them i don’t care for them #i am so tired of feeling like the most hideous creature because everything changes when people find out that i’m gay #like i’m either a little boy or a problem and i am so fucking sad #like sorry you can’t fix me but literally i will not be able to function if i concede more ground to men and patriarchy like i am so tired #i wanna lock myself in my room a lot of the time like i don’t feel good ever #and yes my period is coming but god dammit thats not the only thing wrong #its never the only thing wrong unfortunately i just have very strong emotions that i try to suppress all of the time #yes my fawn response is bad i know this i dont know what to do about the fact that there is nothing people organically like about me #everyone has to train themselves to tolerate me and i am not above working to be loved but it doesnt feel like work towards the love i want #it feels like tying a noose tighter and tighter #it feels like smiling while my blood is pooling down the fucking drain again and again #and i love people around me i do it just always feels like i am alone #i sleep under the flag and i sleep in my bed alone every night surrounded by the stuffed animals i buy to feel something #*jo march voice* i’m just so damn lonely

[tricoufamily]

u don't have to answer this bc i think u just deleted it but who tf is vaguing you... you're a fantastic artist making beautiful beautiful pieces of art and i am constantly in awe of the things you're creating. i barely play the sims anymore let alone participate in the community at all but i have you on notifs forever and ever bc of your storytelling and skill. i am genuinely shocked to see someone talking shit bc i don't even knwo what it wld be about. anyway i keep coming back to look at ur recent edit and it's so tender and evokes such a comforting quiet feeling. anyway. u can ignore me or delete this like i said i just want u to know u've got ppl out in the crowd rooting for u byeee

imagine me crying…..

thank you so much, genuinely. i don’t even know how to accept this properly to show my level of appreciation. this means so much to me.

just gotta remind myself i am a real artist and writer and no one can take it from me. i have talent!!! suck it!!!

#it’s honestly not even a big deal like it’s stupid but i’ve just got so much going on that it was the straw that broke the camel’s back lol #any other time i would have laughed it off and Le Epically Own this person but. man. i’m still crying #it’s a culmination!! i suppose #i don’t know if this person knew how much it would hurt me but it’s still a shitty thing to do regardless #like i don’t know why you couldn’t just share your opinion without attacking me as a person? whatever! #i’ll feel better in the morning i just can’t sleep bc of it is the problem lmfao #and tomorrow is going to be a Bad Day also which is. #btchwzrd #ask

[napping-sapphic]

honestly pretty sure that if even one more man winks or gives me that creepy deliberate up and down Look™️ at work i might just start crying on the spot

#i am not having a good time #it just makes me feel so disgusting #and there is literally no way to dress more moderately #not to mention that im in a uniform so i can’t change it #i know it’s like shouldn’t be such a big deal but i hate it so so so much #it freaks me out and just makes me feel awful about myself #i just go home and put on ugly sleep clothes and feel awful #and yall know how much i normally like wearing cute pajamas #but now it’s just idk whatever covers the most without being too hot #ughhhhhh #sorry #i just didn’t really anticipate it #and how bad it would get to me Every Single Time #i just feel grosssssss #and it really sucks #vent post #rant #venting #sorry i can add more tags if needed #i try not to complain too much but im just so unhappy #and like it’s too embarrassing to talk about it to people i know #i can’t even tell my coworkers because i just feel ashamed about it ughhhhh #i dont know #it’s just A Lot and i dont know why and that just makes me feel WORSE #im good and all just really not vibing with this element of my job

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[mxfortune-teller]

Tw for lots of mental health stuff in the tags. Special tw for self-harm talk

#this last year hasn’t been great for me #in 2023 I relapsed into self-harm several times #I gave myself a lot of new scars and I’m afraid to wear shorts around my friends now #I can feel myself relapsing into my ed #like it’s slow but I see the signs #I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown at all times #it’s almost impossible for me to talk about my feelings anymore #I don’t remember the last time I was content #maybe everyone who hates me is right #maybe my partner’s parents are right about me #I miss being innocent and happy #but I have to think back so so far to remember that version of me #so far I don’t even know if they ever existed #am I destined to punish myself until I die? #was I cursed from the beginning to be either bad or unhappy? #fighting the urge to sh again currently #I need sleep so bad but I can’t #even when I do sleep I keep having bad dreams #I keep dozing off at the wheel #I’m afraid #but mostly I’m just tired and sad #I don’t want to hurt anymore #I don’t want to hurt *myself* anymore #I thought I was better #I am definitely not better #I don’t know what to do

[ficklecat]

#I feel like I need to call out of work tomorrow #but I’m already taking Tues/Wed off this week #i’m just so exhausted #this shit is so disappointing #I’m going to be thinking about it all day tomorrow #and I’m already feeling so bad I don’t think I’ll sleep well #I’m trying to distract myself with chores and internet shit #but I just want to lay on the floor #I haven’t felt so fucking devastated in so long #and my brain can’t stop worrying about what this means for my health #i don’t know what to do #sorry for the freaking out and sad boy content I know that’s not why y’all are here #I’ll probably be fine or whatever #just really fucking gutted right now #ax says stuff