#it’s so fucking funny bc u get used to their fantasy way of talking and then this just normal british person shows up and ur like what 😭😭😭😭

[dannyricsmirrorball]

fifth wheel • ln4 part 3 ੈ✩‧₊˚

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || lando norris x reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || y/n is always fifth wheeling george, carmen, alex, and lily.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || final part yay! also perf in time for lando’s p2!!! not proof read.

part 1 part 2

liked by lorenzotl, patriciooward, and 762,871 others

alex_albon monte-carlo padel masters

tagged georgerussell63, yourusername, maxvertsappen1, landonorris, richardpardon

username1 max has friends?!

username2 zandvoort front two rows

charles_leclerc oh!

⤷ pierregasly it’s ok mate, we’ll play together

⤷ yourusername sorry 🥱 maybe if u brought alex and kika w u

username3 ok but how did they play if there was 5 of them, did they take turns?

⤷ username4 nah i bet y/n just sat on her phone and watched them play

alex_albon also P.S. y/n did not actually do anything

⤷ yourusername WDYM?! me and lando subbed 🧐

⤷ georgerussell63 he kept playing for u y/n?

⤷ yourusername HOW IS THAT MY FAULT, HE’S A BALL HOG!

⤷ alex_albon u forced him to play for u y/n.

⤷ yourusername this is defamation. i will not take this slander!

⤷ username4 called it

username5 maxverstappen new hyoerfixation incoming

f1 who won tho?

⤷ yourusername me ofc 😇

⤷ landonorris us*

⤷ yourusername sorry yes ofc team work makes the dream work!

⤷ maxverstappen1 but yourusername u didn’t even play?

⤷ landonorris i played for the both of us. she transferred her energy to me so i could play w our combined powers

⤷ username6 lando and y/n aren’t being hostile. we are so back!

liked by danielricciardo, mclaren, and 632,091 others

landonorris my 🌟 girl

username7 this soft launch will be the death of me.

username8 the day we find out who she is, is the day that i die

danielricciardo watch out she’ll take over lando.jpg

maxfewtrell yuck right in front of me

yourusername whipped

⤷ landonorris sns

⤷ username9 i’m sorry? is that meant to mean sorry not sorry 😭😭 they’re actual children

username10 idc how many ppl call me delusional, it’s y/n FS

⤷ username11 ok grandma let’s get u to bed

liked by romeobeckham, mickschumacher, and 97,032 others

yourusername spicy salmon nigiri u rock my world 🍣

username12 ok yeah rip my lando x y/n fantasies

username13 final confirmation we needed

username14 how long is this soft launch gonna last

landonorris gag

⤷ username15 someone sounds jealous 👀

⤷ landonorris sushi makes me sick

⤷ maxfewtrell such a baby

lilymhe gets a bf and forgets her best friends

⤷ alex_albon it’s ok lily just relax

⤷ lilymhe NO YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS UR WHOLE LIFE ALEX DONT EVEN PRETEND

⤷ username16 i just know alex is so relieved that he doesn’t have share lily anymore

username17 does anyone else find it funny/weird that y/n will let rumours circle abt her and other drivers and lando will do the same w random ppl he’s talks to and they both just follow this kind of philosophy of just ignoring it bc it’s baseless but as soon as someone so much as hints to the idea of them together they go ham at squashing it

⤷ username18 maybe it’s bc they’re actually friends so they don’t want ppl to ruin it w all the rumours

⤷ username17 but that’s what i mean like they don’t mind the rumours abt their other friends but when it’s each other it’s like NO THATS NOT TRUE

⤷ username19 i will stand by that alex and george tried to set them up on that golf trip and they started taking but one of them or both fucked it up and now

⤷ username20 and i will stand by that they are actually together

⤷ username19 it’s ok to be a little delusional

liked by username81, username4, and 18,409 others

f1wags y/n with lando recently… wonder how their partners feel about this…

tagged landonorris, yourusername

username21 nah no way they aren’t dating

⤷ username22 they’ve made it so clear they’re just friends

⤷ username21 bro look at how much they’re together, she’s literally in the paddock w him

⤷ username22 they’re friends??? makes sense that they’d hang out.

⤷ username21 yeah but she’s always been friends w him but is always in either williams or mercedes merch and motorhome but is suddenly a mclaren girly

username23 what a slut. she literally has a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend.

⤷ username24 she’s just mad that she can’t use alex and george anymore bc they probably saw her for who she is and is now leaching off lando

username25 ahhhh they’re so cute 🥹

username26 nah but i do feel lowkey bad for their partners bc if my s/o was acting like this w another person…

username27 imagine being his gf tho… like he’s refusing to show her face but is parading another girl around the paddock

liked by carlossainz55, olliebearman, and 809,762 others

charles_leclerc tbt good times 🌊

tagged arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, alexandrasaintmleux, carla.brocker, charlotte2304, alex_albon, georgerussell63, yourusername, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, heidiberger, landonorris, danielricciardo

georgerussell63 …mate

yourusername party rockin 🤙🐚🌊😮‍💨🌅🏝️🏖️🏄‍♀️

⤷ username30 my girl is overcompensating bc she knows she can’t get out of this one

⤷ username31 what?

⤷ username30 i mean this pretty much confirms that y/n and lando are actually dating, like w all the photos of them and now that we know that they actually did see each other during the break

alexandrasaintmleux CHARLES what did i say abt posting w/o showing me first 😭

landonorris lol

⤷ username31 they are sweating

username32 you’re telling me that the leclerc family, all their gfs, lily, alex, george, carmen, daniel, heidi, y/n, AND lando ALL stayed in corsica together during part of the break AND WE DIDNT KNOW UNTIL KNOW

alex_albon at least i’m not THIS bad lilymhe

lilymhe charles…

danielricciardo LOL MATE

⤷ heidiberger_ don’t even danny

username33 IM SORRY BUT THIS IS SO CONFIRMATION ABT Y/N AND LANDO… I MEAN LOOK AT EVERYONES COMMENTS, THEYRE ALL STRESSING AND THIS WAS SO OBV A COUPLES TRIP

⤷ username34 i mean idk still like their comments to eachother are so passive aggressive and george, alex, and charles are really good mates w the both of them as well y/n is famed for being the biggest grid couple third wheel so maybe they were just being massive third wheels OR they also brought their partners but charles just didn’t tag them to keep it private

⤷ username35 or u guys hate to admit that y/n and lando are together and lando isn’t going to get w u 🤷‍♀️

username36 charles really came in w a bang

username37 the way charles’ silence is SOOOO loud

⤷ username38 yeah he is fs getting it in the gc

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt, landonorris, georgerussell63, alex_albon, heidiberger_

liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 320,918 others

yourusername fuck it we ball

tagged landonorris

username42 OH

username43 ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING Y/N LANDO HARD LAUNCH

lilymhe i knew you’d cave. all those soft launch photos i took and FOR WHAT. lasted a month 😐

charles_leclerc 🤍

⤷ yourusername this is ur fault

⤷ charles_leclerc whatttttt idk what ur talking abt

heidiberger_ i just heard danny let out an audible sigh

⤷ danielricciardo no more stress 😮‍💨

⤷ yourusername did better then i thought u would danny

⤷ heidiberger_ don’t be fooled… i think he told the entire rbr faculty

alex_albon see you’d think that this would mean they’d leave us alone…

⤷ yourusername never getting rid of us albono 😊

⤷ landonorris now why would u want that mate?! 😘

username57 the caption. she really said fuck it lets hard launch!

username58 they really squashed the slander

landonorris absolute legends i reckon

⤷ yourusername ballers

landonorris my girl 🧡

⤷ yourusername 🤭🫠

carlossainz55 finally

username34 what?! no way?! i’m shocked 😦 we are so shocked 🥱

mclaren we’ll take it from here williamsracing mercedesamgf1

team_quadrant the real boss 😌

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 570,398 others

landonorris cute.

username42 i can’t. they’re too cute.

username43 did he take her to his family home omfg 😭

maxfewtrell whippeddddd

⤷ yourusername 😐

⤷ maxfewtrell sorry y/n mb

danielricciardo cutsie

⤷ landonorris 😘😘

georgerussell63 double trouble

⤷ alex_albon god george u don’t have to say everything that comes to ur mind

lilymhe she’s so pretty

⤷ landonorris she is 😍

⤷ yourusername i love uuuuuu baby

⤷ landonorris i love u too love

⤷ yourusername oh.

⤷ landonorris oh.

⤷ lilymhe I LOVE U TOO LOVERRRR

⤷ alex_albon u get used to it landonorris

liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 126,090 others

lando.jpg my girl

tagged yourusername

username42 god i am not ur strongest soldier

danielricciardo peep the merch 😌

⤷ yourinstagram enchante danny 😉

yourinstagram shop the look enchante 🩷

⤷ enchante 😍😍

username43 they’re everything

heidiberger_ where’s mine? daniel3.jpg

⤷ daniel3.jpg COMING RIGHT UP

username44 lando is the standard

⤷ username45 never thought i’d see the day someone described lando norris as the standard

yourusername obsessed much 🤭

⤷ lando.jpg with u? always

⤷ yourusername oh 😳

yourusername my own jpg post?! i must be special

⤷ lando.jpg the specialist 🧡

⤷ yourusername oh 🤭

username46 dead at y/n being taken aback my lando’s comments

lilymhe my girl 😍😍😍

⤷ yourusername my girl 😘😘🤭🤭

⤷ lando.jpg pipe down miss alex_albon come collect ur girl

⤷ alex_albon don’t fight it mate

carmenmmundt prettiest girl in the world

⤷ lando.jpg that she is

username47 she’s come so far from her third wheeling days 🥹

⤷ alex_albon has she?

bonus!

liked by williamsracing, carmenmmundt, and 228,460 others

alex_albon proof that it changed nothing 😐

tagged yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63

yourusername boohoo 🙄

landonorris u love us ❤️‍🔥

hope u enjoyed 🤍🤍

#lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris imagine #formula one #formula 1 #george russell #alex albon #lily muni he #carmen montero mundt #daniel ricciardo #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader #charles leclerc #f1 fanfic

[mattsdae]

idk how tumblr works but here’s some of my mattrey opinions

SFW

- ppl always act like trey is the romantic and matt’s the sexual one when i feel it’s the opposite?? like matt has always had very stable and long lasting relationships compared to trey.

- no hate to the dude, but him getting cheated on made him a sleezeball

- i always imagine matt as just.. a guy and trey as the worst person on earth /pos

- like, he was a total womanizer during the 90’s-00’s

- matt is just.. a sweet guy. like he’s the type of dude that i’d bring home to my parents.

- even though matt is a literal sadist (idk where the article is, but during an interview, he talks about how their work environment is ‘like a frat house’ before describing how he forced an intern to eat too much food and they threw up)

- but he also said if he had one sexual superpower it would be to please one woman really well (which is literally the sweetest thing ever)

- he also seems like a lowkey sleeze but he probably grew out of it when he met angela

- also, i’d like to point out how sweet and touchy matt is with angela 💕💕

NSFW

- trey is a freak. like not in a normal ‘i like to be tied up’ type of way.

- he’s the type to describe literal war crimes when telling u about his fantasies.

- matt’s the type to try anything once but isn’t super into any of it

- it can be frustrating not knowing what exactly turns him on, but he’s more turned on by the person he’s with and how attractive they are to him, not what they’re doing.

- he does like getting his hair pulled/played with. that’s literally the only thing that could get him bricked up within seconds.

- trey is noisy as hell

- he just lacks shame, so he makes whatever noise he wants. even if it annoys the shit out of all the neighbors, he’ll still scream ur name if he felt like it

- matt isn’t noisy, but he doesn’t hold back either. he’s naturally kinda quiet other than little grunts or moans.

- trey passes out as soon as he cums. like, it takes about 2 minutes TOPS for him to fall asleep

- like, he’d fall asleep on u if he could

- (he’s tried)

- matt is an aftercare king. warm washcloth to clean you off, a bubble bath to relax and a towel straight out the dryer for when you get out.

- usually u try to do aftercare for him because the first time you tried, he was confused and said that nobody’s given him aftercare before.

- he’s just such a sweet guy when he isn’t skull fucking you until you throw up (sorry if that’s too much)

- kinda random but trey seems like the type to watch insane porn. like the shit that could put you on a watchlist.

- remember the scene where randy is trying to jack off when the internet turned off? that’s what trey’s internet history looks like.

- not even in a horny way, he just thinks its really funny (aka physically repulsive)

- he uses a vpn religiously just bc of the porn

- also kinda random but matt could pull off ‘mean dom’ so well. like, so well you question if he’s really roleplaying or not.

- really good at degrading and humiliating, but only if u ask

- he acts like he only does it because you ask, but let’s be real, he loves treating you like dirt during sex.

- i take back what i said, matt’s also a freak

- not in the same way as trey, but he’s definitely kinky

- he likes being dominate because he gets to be mean. like, he’s genuinely an asshole and loves to make fun of people, so doing that AND getting you off is a win-win

- he also likes acting like he isn’t into it (?). like, he’ll check emails while you give him head, scroll through twitter while you ride his thigh, watch porn while fucking you, the whole nine yards.

- of coarse, he doesn’t really mean it and during normal sex, he looks like he’s on cloud-9 the whole time.

ok that’s all for now, probably gonna flesh out these ideas in the future <3

((edit; accidentally said masochist instead of sadist))

#matt stone #trey parker #mattrey

[limpfisted]

WYLL’S FLAWED PERSPECTIVE. or, how to “read” my replies!

i personally believe wyll is a flawed character and its important to give him the full spectrum of emotions beyond “good” “kind” or “bad” “evil.”

i am personally working on trying to stay “ic” and true to my characters, without pushing the character into saying something that will like, be good for a ship, or like, be an “rp people pleaser” if that makes senses!

i don’t JUST want to have interactions where wyll is perfect. to me, wyll has flaws in the way he communicates and sees the world. this does not mean he is not heroic, or a kind, decent man—it just means i love him as a character for his layers. these things make him more REAL and complex than i think wyll as a PERSON wants to be, in a kind of “hide my truth, hide my feelings, elsa frozen kinnie” way

so without further ado, here are some things wyll might do or want to do or say incorrectly or percieve your character in the wrong way even tho i personally would not behave in the same ways irl On Purpose For Some Of These Things

CONDESCENDING. wyll believes he knows best. wyll believes he can say all the right words and “fix things.” he can make EVERYTHING better. he has a SAVIOR COMPLEX. while never being a perfect martyr, he really does think he can “ahaaha dont have depression ur so sexy” ur ass by being gentle and kind and roleplaying a fairy tale with you. additionally, if you seem “soft” in some way, or “meek” in some way, wyll want to “help you” more.

AVOIDANT. wyll does not want to talk about what he wants, what he notices, what he feels, except in poetryor tall tales or threats of violence. his pretty words sometimes hide an emptiness, a dreaminess. he speaks of things he cannot have and will not ask for. he is embarrassed to want, embarrassed to need, attention, desire, anything but charm and protecting the innocent and meek.

OVERLY ROMANTIC. this ties in with above. he idealizes people, he puts them on pedestals, he treats them like they are made of glass. he does not humanize others or himself enough, and prefers to live in a world of fantasies and pretend.

BOASTFUL. wyll tries to be humble—but this is to match a persona. if you dive even slightly deeper into things, he’s all too happy to tell you how strong and heroic he is, to the point of condescion and vanity. on the other hand, he will not take you seriously if you threaten him! he’ll threaten you back! he doesnt give a single fuck!

BLACK AND WHITE THINKING AND SNAP JUDGEMENTS. to wyll, you are either “hunter” “prey” “hero/villain” the person he needs to protect people from. he will bide his time—but it is difficult for him to trear villains kindly, and he will NEVER truly respect them as people, unless they prove they have changed or are not trying to hurt anyone currently.

WILL WORK WITH VILLAINS. WILL MAKE DEALS WITH DEVILS. WILL ALSO HUNT THEM FOR SPORT. easy to understand, wyll believes he can “control” devils, if they are useful to him. wyll can ally with evil—even if he is just biding his time to kill them later.

VIOLENT. ROLEPLAYER. if you are evil, he will just want to kill you and that’s that! he wanted to kill every goblin at that camp! he relishes in violence as long as it’s for justice. he gets off on the power and pomp of it n his heroism—even when its not actually heroic

WORDS GET AWAY FROM HIM. he will speak with intention, but has a tendency to ramble poetically. when angry, and threatening someone, sometimes he makes no sense at all bc he just wants murder myrder death death justice

A SILLY BILLY!! he can take himself very seriously, but also he is brainweird and skin hungry n loves to touch n be weird and wrestle n write funny poems and get drunk n dance under the stars. he’s a silly ex-(would have been a theatre kid but his dad wanted him to join jrotc instead) kid! he likes big bold gestures. he is EXTREMELY REPRESSED, but the closer he gets to u, the more ull see his joy n not just his “good hero”

DEEPLY LONELY AND APPROVAL SEEKING. wyll really likes it when people pay attention to him. nore than he likes actually doing good things, sometimes. note: there is nothing wrong with doing good things for recognition, everyone deserves recognition of hard work n pain. but it still makes him more interesting to me than generic hero!:

EASILY CORRUPTABLE / MOLDABLE / MANIPULATED. he approves of killing for auntie ethel n them immediatley goes. oh. fuck. oh no…. i fucked up. im trash…. he got i. cahoots with mizora and thinks he CHOSE that bc hes so so good!

NOT IN TOUCH WITH HIS FEELINGS. wyll doesn’t always know wgat’s going on his beain/heart, n honestly he doesn’t want to think abt it too hard! but i will! i always will, wyll.

SMART, BUT DOESN’T CARE ENOUGH TO QUESTION. i dont feel like writing anymore god free me. free me from the sin of my hubris. free me. no more writing

THERE ARE MORE THINGS PROBABLY BUT I DONT FERL LIKE WRITING THEM. LOOK AT MY PRETTY HC BANNER ITS SO PRETTY. GOODBYE FOREVER

something so,ething hes traumatized and pushes people away n puts them on a pedestal so they can never know how scarred and scared and unworthy he feels bc of the deep loneliness inside him from his family’s emotional instability coupled with being homeless as a teenager with only an abuser to guide him thru his late teens, etc

#ooc

[pinkcannibal]

soo not to get nsfw on the main… But with that being said… i‘ve just reread the latest chapter of it’s quicker and easier for the fourth time (somebody sedate me) and i just have some food for thought that is stuck to my mind‘s interior. SEE WHAT YOUVE DONE!! this fic is permanently tattooed onto my brain!!

like ok so i just think with all of marilyn’s prowess with potions and elixirs, she would surely have the knowledge to come up with some kind of,,, concoction that would allow her to gain a certain appendage (if u know what i’m talking about ;)). The next step then of course is fulfilling her and reader‘s fantasies of feeling her "come inside you and paint your walls with everything she is" with said appendage of marilyn’s. and woah what a line. whattt a line. a line that i personally feel should be interpreted as a prophecy of sorts that needs to be fulfilled immediately mhm mhm !

ok sorry but my point is it’s established marilyn has a breeding kink and yep, that definitely tracks. and reader has a 'consuming any part of marilyn she can like a pathetic eager puppy' kink, be it her blood, spit (👀 pls) or cum. i just think yknow if marilyn has the tools she is well within her right to use them to get herself her own cock and fuck her controversially younger girlfriend with it!!😌 when life gives you lemons, you use them to brew a cock-growing elixir for you and your gf to have fun with… i think that’s how the saying goes <3

anyways sorry for the long ask oops i didn’t mean for it to be this long. last sidepart and this is purely amused delusion but i find it so funny to imagine marilyn building this whole thing up and it happens and she and reader are very turned on and excited… only for marilyn to come in like 30 seconds. bc this is a whole new sensation for her obviously!!!! and even when she’s usually fucking reader without her cock, marilyn’s mostly the one giving and she’s not used to much direct stimulation without having reader come first!!! so then marilyn’s feeling mortified and reader is simultaneously understanding, horny, flattered and proud that she could make her lose control like that.

soo yeah that’s my food for thought on that ONE line from your fic that wouldn’t leave my head. a feast for thought would be more accurate. to make it explicit, i’d love to see something like this happen in the fic with marilyn and reader, or even a one-shot (or both!). that being said i get that it’s not for everyone so if ur not down then ofc don’t feel obliged to write anything ur not comfortable with <3 i was just kinda obsessing over the idea since reading chapter 18 and wanted to articulate my feral thoughts somewhere :p

rant ended for now, congratulations on exceeding 100K words!! that’s a super impressive feat for any author, never mind the fact that you didn’t think the fic would surpass 20K!! we’re super proud of you and blessed to have you as the author of this fic <33 take care and hope to read more soon!!!

okay the way this ask has NOT left my brain since reading it jesus christ!!!! HI??? ur so valid for this actually (also the fact that youve read the chap four times already is so sweet ty!!!! :') dont be sorry for being nsfw on main this sideblog is literally. MADE for that and for people to ask me things like this skdksd

okay. so i HAVE talked abt this on discord before w my beloved '<3' from ao3 and its so funny bc like. when we talk abt marilyn coming its always said with the knowledge that like 'oh of course she can come inside of reader using the strap/her cock. this is both physically possible and normal :)' skdksd so like the fact that youve sent this message is personal TO ME bc even tho i havent made it a thing in my fic yet i DO want to add a scene with either a cum filled strap on or, like you said, bc marilyn's so talented with elixir's/potions im SURE there is a concoction she can create that either a) allows her to feel her cum filled strap as if it was her own appendage AND acts like it or b) have her own cock. im more inclined with option A as it feels more realistic in my fic and would flow better i think within the confides of how ive written this story, and the fact that ive set up already that marilyn is really talented in potion making/plants and organic material. it would have to be slight magic using i guess?? (also realistic is a dumb word to use ik ksdkd like this is the world where vampires werewolves and gorgons exist. yet i just feel like strap would work better instead of her acquiring an actual cock)

btw ur 'when life gives you lemons,' comment made me lose it thank u so much for that. but yes! trust me when i say marilyn is constantlyyyy thinking abt possible ways she can make this a reality, it literally is a cause of frustration for marilyn that she cant give her girl what she wants and fill her up w her cum </3 its why she says it as a form of praise/degradation during 18 and 19 eg: "i wish i could cum in you" and "make you mine" bc like these freaks are so in love that the idea of breeding reader is succchhh a fulfilling fantasy, and visa versa. for reader its like 'i literally want all of you. ALL of you' like marilyn knows and LOVES how much reader is eager to please to take anything of marilyn's like you said, esp blood cum and spit (this idea is romantic to me. no further questions sdkskd) so yes tldr this IS an idea i really, really want to explore bc i can do so much with the idea of consuming your milf lover so much that you beg for their cum inside you/down your throat at all times <333

oh ur so real for marilyn not lasting comment. thats so 😵‍💫definitely the first time they try it marilyn's just so overwhelmed by feeling how warm and wet reader is (its a completely different sensation than feeling w her fingers/tongue) and how much reader is begging for it she just. comes immediately. does not know how to act and keeps filling reader up as much as she can (this does in fact send reader into suchhh a dumbed down headspace feeling it; like u have NO idea how much this is affecting her skdksd) but to me after the first time marilyn is just so focused on making reader the one who comes first every time, bc marilyn gets off on reader getting off and loves being the one to always give <33

i think im more inclined to add it into the fic! but thats not to say im ruling it out of requests/one shots. ur so okay omg ksdk the fact that u were obsessing over this makes me feel validated that me and '<3' arent the only ones who talk abt this concept like. all the time skdkd and wait AHHHHH GOD thank you so much!!!!🥰 thats genuinely so sweet and so uplifting for you to say, i hope you take care too and have an amazing day anon!! :')

#marilyn thornhill x reader #marilyn thornhill #marilyn thornhill x fem reader #wednesday netflix #laurel gates x reader #asks #reader fic #THIS GOT SO LONG ksdkdks sorry for talking abt marilyns cock on main but im incapable of being normal abt this fic <3

[tezzbot]

now I'm curious, what other opinions abt the dub do you have 👀👀👀 me and my friends think karamatsu sounds like markiplier

RAY CHASE BESTIE I AM SO SORRY but no youre rightJKGHFJGH

THIS GOT LONG IM PUTTING A READMORE

i do actually really really like Ray Chase as kara but the way that Nakamura pitches his voice down for him and then when something karamatsu isnt like. prepared for or whatever happens he goes back up into his regular vocal range or sometimes a bit higher really adds to karamatsu's whole. everything HJGKHFJGH LIKE his whole identity pretty much IS performance so even his voice being part of his front is so fun to me, Ray Chase's voice feels so naturally deep and smooth that its like. his voice is Too Cool for kara yknow like his voice being Actually cool? karamatsu fucking wishes JHKGJFGHD BUT i do think he is one of the better choices that the casting directors made compared to the rest of the brothers

(AGAIN NOT SHITTING ON THESE EXTREMELY PROLIFIC AND TALENTED VA'S this is just my opinion of them as the ososan characters)

like i said before i have Absolutely zero qualms with Max Mittelman as Totty literally thats a match made in heaven I think he was perfect for the role n absolutely killed it hes so funny and from what ive seen the writers actually gave him so many good lines big ups for todo likers

Kyle McCarley as Ichimatsu i honestly havent seen much of his performance but god did he put is whole pussy into the one episode where he INSISTS they have to respect each other, hes honestly really really good at maintaining the monotone voice while also conveying a lot of emotion through his voice its pretty impressive that he can do the yellingscreaming while keeping that up, Fukuyama Jun's like. jump from monotone to YEEEAAGHHK when ichimatsu is At His Limit is really really funny so i think that these two are pretty much on par with each other while putting their own spin on how the character . i dont know. expresses himself i guess. poggers :thumbs up emoji i cant use cus im typing on desktop:

in a ranking id prob put Ray's kara here but i already did him so. just. in case u wanted to know this is where he goes to me lmfao hes pretty on par with Kyle's ichimatsu to me tbh

Billy Kametz as Osomatsu honestly worked pretty well osomatsu is the most some guy ever and when u listen its like. a little over the top(obv bc its an anime dub) but its definitely a voice youd hear and go yeah ive probably walked past someone what talks like that, again Great delivery on some lines, he does sound a lot less SillyGoofy #girl... frat bro vibes in there tbh But i mean if he was american i guess he kinda would be huh GHJFGHDF he kinda lost how cheeky he sounds in jp also like there are moments but for the most part :( also the way they wrote him (again i havent seen much but from what i Have seen) he doesnt have the same I Love My Little Brothers energy idk how to describe it they all feel like they hate each other more rghjbhjgh

Sean Chiplock ouygugh im so sorry king but also not it for Choromatsu...... casting directors, voice directors, whoever else is involved in the process, if youre gonna cast around your initial reactions to how the characters are why doesnt he sound like a fuckin nerd!!! i get that hes initally played as a Straight Man but you didnt have to Just Some Dude him make him sound like the loser he is!! even like a little nasally! i also think he sounds a little too much like Billy's Osomatsu, (which again not the va's faults i feel its a voice direction issue) when they talk at the same time its kinda hard to tell em apart which might be on me for not watching enough and getting used to it but... sorrie... no from me

Michael Sinterniklaas i have so much repect for you but.... i already said in that other post, the voice they okayed..... everything he was made to say....... no. thats not jyushimatsu. that fuckin. companion character in some fantasy anime ass voice, his whole deal in the dub is too childish imo and i get why that was their first impression but oough his character suffers so so much for it moreso than any of the others.... they massacred my guy..... and this is absolutely not a dig at Michael, ive seen his other work hes incredibly talented, just everything they got him to do as jyushimatsu makes me take critical damage in real life my hp bar drops so so much

Also i really like Cassandra Lee Morris as Totoko but I feel like she doesnt capture the flip between teehee totoko chwwaaannn and KILL KILL KILL voices that Aya Endou manages, he voice is very cutesy, but i feel like she doesnt sound mad enough when totoko gets pissed WHERE IS YOUR ANGER? YOUR RAGE??? RISE RISE RISE RISE RI

also also Keith Silverstein as iyami is honestly really good i didnt really know what to expect but i feel like hes p spot on, idk how iyami-likers feel abt him though lol ask telly or sth HJGHJ

SORRY this got long but i probably was never gonna be happy with the dub, im not gonna get too much into the writing in the localisation but ough. it is Just a comedy show to the dub writers and i can respect that, but the show means a lot to people Because of the characters and how they clearly run deeper than they appear thats a huge part of the appeal for ososan imo and i feel like a lot was lost in the translation. But! it can be pretty funny sometimes and thats all it rlly needs to be, funny haha penis anime

im gonna try and give the dub another shot, ill do me best to grit n bear through it GHJFG

#tezztalks #osomatsu san #long post #sorry GKHSFGDHF

[tales-of-the-dense]

could u do Logan for the opinion bingo :)

sure thing!!!

You know I think theres a valid criticism about Logan getting too much focus in both movies and comics to the point where it overshadows other characters and arcs, and honestly it links back to a problem Xavier also has; Logan has basically just been used as a Male Power Fantasy Receptacle by a lot of writers. Men who write Logan can fall into this trap where they’re like. Honestly obsessed with Logan’s performance of masculinity, and instead of realizing the very obvious lesson that Logan is supposed to just be a fucking weirdo and is deeply repressed they’re like. “Ah yes :) this is the most perfect representation of masculinity I’ve ever seen :)”

Certain male comic writers wanna be Wolverine sooooo bad and it shows. It gets to the point where they themselves appear to have an almost homoerotic attachment w Logan’s character bc they worship their idea of his masculinity so deeply.

In reality this interpretation of Logan’s character is usually deeply stupid and super boring.

Honestly Logan has so much comedy potential and is so much more enjoyable when you lean into the absurdity of him rather than playing him “straight” as a hypermasculine ideal. I don’t mind seeing Logan in lots of xmen stories; they just shouldn’t all necessarily be about him. I think it’d be way funnier if he was just constantly in the background like, handcarving a duck from a block of wood he found out back.

Logan is funniest when he’s basically Ron Swanson. He’s everyone’s weird uncle. Sometimes I just imagine him talking like an even gruffer version of a Canadian Sam Elliot and it always fucking funny. Especially when you do it during serious scenes or monologues. Like just imagine the only reason people can ever understand what he’s saying is because of telepaths and he’s otherwise totally incomprehensible. It’s great, it really breaks the tension

#Logan is just a funny little man #if he were supposed to just be a male power fantasy he wouldn’t be 5’ 3’’ duh #logan howlett #asks

[thav]

strangers

soooo strangers happened was when i was fucking OBSESSED with Faye Webster. i literally would only listen to AMC constantly and then IKIMFH came out and i was even more obsessed which i didnt know was even possible. i wrote this song about having a crush on one of my coworkers again (😭)

i had just bought a really cheap roller off of amazon and after the success i had with it on Run (!) i wanted to use it again hehehe

actually didn’t even think strangers was gonna make it onto the tracklist-- i think i overpaid my engineer so i wanted to get my moneys worth so the og demo of the song was literally just vocals and guitar (per usual) but the funny thing is is that i don’t think this song is in standard-- my acoustic nylon-string was in a diff tuning thats a teeeeeny bit off and at first i was kinda like oh shit but now i think its sick cus the song developed so much more being in that tuning i guess hahaha

lyrically, this song let me live out my mitski fantasy as well. i got to write about unrequited/love as a queer poc person

ill save myself for you

but you’ll forget my name

you’ll probably pronounce it wrong

so i’ll roll off faster

with this verse i wanted to talk about how you can give so much of yourself to someone, or at least try to but you’re not important enough in their life that your name is so unconventional them  so they pronounce it wrong because that’s how forgettable you are, and also they don’t want to put in the intention on pronouncing it right. and it kinda hurts-- feeling like confused as to why you aren’t put onto a pedestal in other people’s lives. and it’s easy to pin that on your identity or just the way that you are. this song i really wanted to talk about that uncomfy feeling of being in that place with someone, basically they treat u like shit but u still accept the uncomfiness bc thats all you think you deserve

so i wanted to fully touch on the concept of Ugly with this song by having such an engulfing cinematic ending with no lyrics because you kind of just accept the situation for how it is and you start romanticizing it and you make it really really beautiful and forget all the bad parts but then you listen to it again and its like... dude this person is shit LOL like they do not deserve my energy love or care at all. it was a learning experience in itself that i’m forever grateful for :)

[kittycatkilllua-archive]

i just started reading the sequel to howls moving castle and i think it’s so funny that dianna wynne jones creates all these fantastical characters and then brings them to england

#it’s so fucking funny bc u get used to their fantasy way of talking and then this just normal british person shows up and ur like what 😭😭😭😭 #hmc #diana wynne jones #castle in the air #howls moving castle

[outerbankies]

new light blurb: stargazing — rafe cameron

new light series masterlist

summary: you think you plan a perfect surprise for your first valentine’s day with rafe, but he might know you a little too well.

warnings: drinking, mentions of sex and weed, terribly explained drinking game bc i’m lazy, a man being gross in a bar

a/n: aka the much-awaited and hopefully not underwhelming jealous!y/n fic. pardon me for making it less funny and more angsty, but it’s me! sorry. thank u for all of the suggestions for names of girls you hate, sorry i couldn't use them all! takes place in-series & was briefly mentioned in the epilogue :)

“I hate you.”

Your boyfriend gives you a shit-eating grin. Your words don’t catch him off guard at all—almost like he expected you to say them. “No, you don’t.”

That makes you huff, no matter how true it is, and you turn to where his roommate and girlfriend stand beside him. “I hate him.”

“I think that’s fair,” Graham nods.

“Dude,” Rafe scoffs. “What the fuck?”

“No, she’s right,” Nora agrees.

“Oh. Of course you think she’s right,” Rafe says, before turning back to face you again. You can feel his eyes on you where you’re still looking at Graham and Nora. “Y/n/n. Seriously.”

“It was supposed to be a surprise!” you cry, feeling the need to stomp your foot like a child, drop your suitcase to the floor of the airport and cross your arms stubbornly. “Why are you here? How did you—Graham, you promised. Nora, I knew we shouldn’t have told him.”

“It wasn’t fucking me!” Graham sputters, eyes wide in indignation. “Ask Nora, I left the room every time he started talking about how much he missed you—”

Rafe’s cheeks flash red, and the embarrassment written all over his face actually makes you feel the tiniest bit less angry for a moment. “Okay, wow. Thanks for that, buddy—”

“—because I can’t keep a straight face for shit, but Nora told me if I told him, she would—”

“Babe, shut up. Right now,” Nora says, punctuating it with a kiss, her hands on either side of his face. “I don’t know how he found out, Y/n. He just came down the stairs with these fucking flowers today and asked if he could bum a ride to the airport.”

The smirk is back on Rafe’s face, and you finally give in, letting your shoulders slump. “How did you figure it out?”

He shrugs. “Your dad.”

“My dad?”

“Yeah. Called me about our fantasy football league last week. Told me to tell you ‘hi,’” he smiles. Rafe remembers the peonies he has in his hands then, extending them toward you. “These are for you, by the way. Do you want them?”

You take them from him, letting Graham take your suitcase out of your hand so you can cradle them carefully. You bite your lip, staring down at the beautiful arrangement, then back up at where Rafe’s smile has gone a little sweeter. “You talk to my dad on the phone?”

“Sometimes,” he shrugs, stepping closer to you timidly. “Are you gonna let me kiss you now? Or are you still mad at me?”

“Oh, I’m still mad. But yes,” you say, finally smiling up at him. You lean up on your tip toes, feeling Rafe’s hand slide into its resident spot on the small of your back, his other hand cupping your chin.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” you return, tilting your head until he gets the hint and slots his lips over yours.

“Missed you,” he murmurs out, the hand on your back leaving momentarily to spin his hat around backwards once the kiss gets deeper.

“Missed you, too,” you say in a hush, reveling in the familiar way in which your body comes alive at his touch. All of your nerves feel like they’re on fire—that mixture of safety and comfort paired with a hint of longing and desire that you hadn’t felt in over a month now, since you went your separate ways after the holiday break back in the Outer Banks.

“Okay,” Graham announces. “Glad we’re all happy, but I parked very illegally, so if we could—”

“He’s not kidding. We should go,” Nora says. “Also, so nice to finally meet you.”

You pull back from Rafe at her words, practically shoving the flowers back into his arms and leaving him in a flushed daze, throwing your arms around the girl and jumping up and down while the two of you laugh. “Oh my god, I know!”

—

You felt like you already knew Graham—and subsequently, Nora—fairly well, but Rafe’s two other roommates were more of a mystery to you. You were always nervous meeting new people, but the stakes felt higher when it was some of your boyfriend’s best friends. But Cody and Sawyer made it pretty easy on you, completely embarrassing themselves as soon as you entered the house the four boys shared. You barely made it through the doorway with Graham and Nora, Rafe stuck with your luggage at the car, before they were putting on a show.

The one you know is Cody gasps, standing up from his seat on the couch in the living room. “Oh my god, is that Y/n?”

“Wow! What a surprise!” Sawyer plays along, and you immediately deduce that neither of them are theater majors.

Rafe appears in the doorway at that moment, rolling his eyes at their antics. “Of course these idiots knew about it, too.”

Undeterred, Cody continues. “I’m shocked—truly, no idea. Wow, Rafe, aren’t you—”

“He knew,” Graham sighs, dropping his keys on the table and walking over to the fridge. “He fucking knew.”

“What?” Sawyer asks, looking between Graham, you, and Rafe. Then he turns back to Cody. “Dude, why the fuck did you tell him? We’ve been keeping this secret for a month.”

“Me?” Cody scoffs. “It wasn’t me. It was probably you, jackass.”

They keep arguing, pushing each other back and forth, and you feel Rafe’s chest press into your back, his hand settling on your hip. You turn to look up at him, speaking quietly enough for only him to hear. “Should we tell them it was my dad?”

Rafe’s eyes light up as he watches the back and forth, shaking his head. “Nah. They’ll go for a while if we let them. Wanna come up and see my room?”

You follow him without a second thought, raising your voice loud enough to tell his roommates it was nice to meet them before you both disappear. They both have the decency to pause their bickering for five seconds to yell ‘you, too!’ in unison.

You’d seen Rafe’s college bedroom over FaceTime probably a hundred times, but it didn’t prepare you for how you’d feel actually stepping foot inside for the first time. “Welcome.”

It’s so him that it almost takes your breath away, reduced to spinning in a slow circle in the center of the room, eyes roaming over movie poster on the wall by his bed, every photo of yourself you see stuck on his cork board. He has a pennant from Kildare Academy above his desk, a stack of books you loaned him before going back for the spring semester sat right under it. There’s even a used coffee mug on his dresser but you don’t point it out, thinking he probably missed it while cleaning his other wise immaculate room for you. “Wow.”

“I mean, s’not much. Definitely… not your apartment in California,” he says sheepishly. You turn to where he’s stuck in the doorway watching you, ready to tell him that Davis’s mom had paid to have your entire apartment professionally decorated before deciding against it. Because it doesn’t make your next statement any less true.

“It’s perfect,” you say softly. Your mind flashes with memories of Rafe’s room at Tannyhill, hardly anything lining the cold gray walls besides academic achievements Ward deemed appropriate enough to be displayed. Even his bed sheets here are just warmer, cozier in his college room, the soft blanket of his that you loved looking way more at home here than it ever did on his bed in Tannyhill. Kind of like your boyfriend. “It’s you, baby.”

Rafe’s blushing again, this time at your praise, finally entering his own room and kicking the door shut behind him with a swift, well-aimed heel.

“Yeah. We, uh, got pretty lucky leasing this place after moving out of the dorms. Our landlord’s cool so we’ve been here since sophomore year,” he explains. He sets your suitcase down carefully, before taking you by surprise when his hands cup the back of your thighs, making you horizontal so quickly you bounce a little on his bed. His body follows yours, leaning over you, one arm supporting himself and the other holding your face. He looks around at his room, like he’s seeing it through your eyes for the first time, then back down at you. “Lot of memories here. It is me, huh?”

“Mhm,” you hum, finally letting him get carried away kissing you.

“D’you still hate me?” he says against your throat, one of his legs between the both of yours, kneeling on the bed.

“Could never hate you. Slightly annoyed, still,” you laugh.

“Hey,” he says, leaning up to look at you, all pursuits paused. “I really am sorry, I swear the guys gave me no ideas. And we can do whatever you had planned. But I wanna take you to class, and I want Saturday night.”

“You’re forgetting how well I know you,” you tease, kissing his bottom lip. “I knew you’d take over as soon as I got here anyway.”

“Baby,” he groans, hiding his face in your neck.

“And somehow, I just knew there was a chance you’d find out,” you continue. “Because you’re you. And you’re mine.”

“Baby,” he groans again. He pulls back to smile with kiss-bitten lips, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Can’t keep anything from me, can you, sweetheart?”

“Apparently,” you say, knocking his hat off his head so you can tug on some of his hair. “Neither can my dad.”

“Must be where you get it from,” Rafe says lowly, his tone of voice making your head spin and your heart race.

“We need to stop talking about my dad. Like, right this second,” you rush, just about committed to forgetting that there are four whole people downstairs right now, who could definitely hear any of the activities you currently have running through your mind while Rafe’s lips return to their spot on your neck.

But apparently, they hadn’t forgotten about you.

“We’re playing die and we need a fourth. Now,” Sawyer says, banging loudly on the door.

Rafe immediately groans, head hanging while you just giggle, already pushing him off of you to straighten yourself out. “We don’t give a fuck. Go away.”

“Finish up, Cameron,” Cody calls. “Shouldn’t take long, I’m sure. See you downstairs!”

—

“Guys,” Rafe laments, as soon as he steps foot into the backyard. You follow behind him, happily sipping on the wine he’d bought for you. Your favorite, already chilling in his fridge when you arrived. You’d glanced at the mountain of 30-rack boxes in the recycling bin in Rafe’s front yard precariously on your way in—maybe there were some perks to your boyfriend being a smug, know-it all, figuring you out so he could anticipate our arrival. “I’m not playing with these teams. Cody sucks at throwing.”

“Who said you were playing? Y/n, get down here,” Cody calls, gesturing you to come off the porch and take a spot beside him at the table. “You’ve played die before, haven’t you?”

Rafe laughs. “Um… no, she hasn’t.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, practically shoving your red cup into his chest before descending the porch steps without him. “‘Course I have.”

“Alright, love it,” Cody says, extending his hand for a high-five. Rafe watches in disbelief as you take your spot near your new teammate, hurriedly following after you, holding both of your drinks.

“Y/n, are you sure? I can throw for you,” he offers, looking unsure. “This is, like, all we do. They’re really good.”

“You just said I suck,” Cody scoffs.

You pat Rafe’s chest, reaching up to kiss him on the lips. “Relax. Just keep holding my wine.”

Rafe does no such thing, immediately setting both drinks on a precarious-looking picnic table in favor of hovering over you. He’s whispering instructions in your ear while Graham and Sawyer roll their eyes from the other side of the die table, his hands circling around your wrists to show you the proper form.

“You’ll get it. And I’ll drink for you,” he assures you, finally stepping back, but not sounding so sure. “Go easy on her, please.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Graham says, waving him off.

“I think Y/n can hold her own,” Sawyer challenges, watching you curiously.

“We’re never gonna find out if we don’t get this fucking game started,” Cody groans. “Is everyone ready? I’m going.”

Rafe was right, and Cody’s throw is horrible—the die bounces off the table and practically sails into Graham’s waiting hand across from him.

“Fuck,” your teammate swears.

“S’fine. Shake it off,” you tell him. “We got this.”

“Okay, it has to go high, alright, baby?” Rafe reminds you, standing off to the side with his arms crossed. “Not like pong, like really high, okay? Just try to bounce it where they can’t—”

You don’t wait for your boyfriend to finish, staring right at Sawyer’s cup from across the table before you’re leaping up, the die leaving your hand and sailing right into his cup with a soft plunk, some of the beer sloshing over onto the hand-painted table.

“I fucking knew it!” Sawyer says, looking way too happy for someone on the other team, fishing the die out before taking a sip.

“What the fuck,” Rafe says, looking at Sawyer, and then to you. Nora giggles off to the side, raising her cup to you while you smile. “What the fuck?”

The night goes similarly—Rafe watching in awe, only closing his mouth whenever you pass him your beer, sipping it for you without a question. You leave most of the catching part of the game up to Cody, who’s still not faring well in throwing, especially the more impaired he becomes.

“You hustled my roommates,” Rafe accuses, eyes bleary.

“Excuse you,” you laugh. “They asked me to play.”

“Yeah—but, since when were you a fucking pro at beer die?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed.

“Since sophomore year,” you shrug, turning back to the game, your die just barely hitting the ground underneath Sawyer where he dove for it.

“Of high school?” Rafe asks, looking like he’s trying to recall ever seeing you running a table at a party. “That can’t be right. I’d know.”

You roll your eyes, smiling. “No, dummy. Of college. McCall and I lived next door to the ATO senior house and she had a crush on one of them. They invited us over literally every weekend. She flirted, but I learned.”

Rafe clears his throat, head cocking to the side looking slightly pleased. “You didn’t flirt, too?”

“No,” you assure him, before a smirk stretches across your lips. “Had a boyfriend at the time.”

Rafe grumbles, downing the rest of his drink. “You don’t even like beer.”

“You don’t have to drink that much beer if you’re good,” you tell him, watching when Sawyer gears up for his next throw. You can tell early on it’s probably going to land in your cup, and it does. Rafe’s fishing the die out and sipping on it for you before you even ask, and you just smile at him, kissing a little bit of foam off of his top lip. “Besides, when you’re cute like me, there’s always a boy around that will drink it for you.”

—

Rafe took you to campus the next morning, ignoring your teasing about how lazy he must be to actually drive to class, throwing it right back at you (“Well at least I don’t leave thirty minutes early like you, just so you can walk to your classes and get all of your steps in for the day.” “You know I’m in a competition with McCall!”) He brings you by his favorite coffee spot, points out all of the buildings he frequents to you, sighing when you both pass by the football stadium (“Wish you would’ve come out during the season. We could’ve tailgated.” “I mean, I tried—” “Alright. Never mind.”)

It’s kind of a lot to keep up with, especially considering you’re still tired from your travel day, and your body clock is running about three hours behind his. But you love seeing him so in his element, introducing you to any of his friends you run into, feeling warmth spread throughout you every time you realize just how often he must talk about you when they already know your name and where you go to college.

He has a small gap before his last seminar of the day, and you’re somehow able to convince him to stay and get some work done at one of the libraries, while you check on emails and get caught up with your own classes back in California. But you wrap up earlier than he does, zoning out, watching him from across the table he’d picked on the fifth floor—saying it was his second favorite, after his original favorite that he couldn’t sit at anymore because it stirred up memories of back-to-back all-nighters for a horrendous econ final his sophomore year. He passed, but apparently the table still had bad vibes, along with a certain brand and flavor of energy drink.

“What?”

You realized you’d been caught staring at him, just shaking your head and trying to go back to your work. “Nothing.”

He hooks an ankle around yours under the table. “Y/n/n. What are you thinking about?”

“I really like you out here,” you admit, shrugging.

He smiles in surprise, looking at you oddly. “When I’m seven states away from you? What does that mean?”

“No, stop. You know I miss you everyday. But you’re just so… I dunno. It’s just nice seeing you in your other home,” you say, thinking over your next words carefully. “When we started going out, I always knew college had done you some good. But I guess I just realized I’ve never pictured you outside of the Outer Banks before.”

“Huh,” he considers, nodding slowly. It might have been the wrong thing to say—the direct comparison of his college life to his home life. But he smiles after thinking about it for a little while, giving you a shrug of his own. “It did do me good, definitely. It made going home easier, knowing it wasn’t always permanent. Well, it used to.”

“What do you mean ‘used to’? Because you know you’re going home for good soon? Or…” you trail off, voice getting quieter.

“No. Well, I guess, yeah. That, too. But…” he says. “I mainly meant that now that’s not the main reason it’s easy going back home.”

You just stare at him in silence, blinking slowly and wondering if the jet lag is getting to you, because you have no idea what he’s getting at. “Okay?”

“Y/n,” he says slowly. His ankle hooks tighter around yours, and you finally get his point, practically melting into your seat with a fast-beating heart and heated cheeks.

You were his reason now.

“Raaafe.”

—

“Are you sure we can’t stay in tonight? We’ll have the house to ourselves,” Rafe says, not looking up from his phone from spot on his bed. You’d completely taken over his desk with your makeup supply while you prepared to go out, not that he minded. Especially since you were sat in his chair wearing nothing but a t-shirt with his letters on it and a tiny pair of shorts after your shower.

“No, your friends wanna go out.”

“Okay, so they can go. And we can stay, we have to catch up on Succession anyway.”

“Rafe,” you sigh in exasperation, barely resisting throwing your head back. “C’mon.”

“It’s our first Valentine’s Day Eve together,” he tries. “That has to count for something, right?”

“It doesn’t, babe,” you say, shaking your head before an idea comes to mind. “I can just go without you.”

Rafe groans, but it’s a losing battle. He’s already been dressed in his jeans and shirt for half an hour now, resigned to a night at the bars with his roommates and some of his friends. “Fine. But I get you all to myself tomorrow, we have to be up early. And can you come do your makeup on the bed?”

“Why?”

“I miss you all the way over there,” he complains.

“The time apart almost made me forget what a whiny baby you can be,” you giggle, swiping on your last layer of lip gloss before standing up, making your way over to your boyfriend and his grabby hands. You slide into his lap, leaning down to kiss him immediately, giggling when he reaches out to taste the lip gloss you left behind on his lips once you pull off.

He makes a face. “Don’t like this flavor. Where’s the other one?”

“I think this one makes me look pretty.”

“You are pretty,” Rafe agrees. “No matter what. So get down here.”

Rafe only has you to himself for a few more seconds before someone knocks on his door, breaking the two of you apart yet again. You hop off of him excitedly, throwing his door open. “Thank god you’re here. I don’t know what I’m supposed to wear.”

“I’ve got you,” Nora says, walking over to your suitcase immediately. She looks up at Rafe, like she just remembered this is his room. “Hey.”

“Hi?” Rafe says, straightening his shirt collar from where you’d just been gripping it. You pick up on his confusion at your interrupted moment.

“I texted her to come up when she got here,” you shrug.

“I could’ve helped you pick out your outfit,” he pouts. You just look at Nora, the two of you breaking out into laughter.

“Wait,” she suddenly gasps, holding up a cropped long sleeve you had laid out as a potential option for the night. “This is so cute. Can I wear it?”

“Of course,” you say immediately. “Rafe, get out.”

“Yeah,” Nora agrees. “And can you make us drinks? Make mine strong, I wanna catch up and I need to be kinda drunk to pull this off.”

Rafe gawks at the two of you, a smile still pulling on his lips. “This is literally my room.”

“Please,” you say, pulling him off of the bed. “You need to get up anyway. Any longer in that bed and you were gonna fall asleep in it.”

“That was the goal.”

“Again, I will leave you here and go out by myself,” you taunt. He rolls his eyes but leans down to kiss you, slipping out with a soft click of the door shutting behind him, waving off Nora’s specific drink requests and saying he’ll just have Graham make it for her.

“Y’all are so cute,” Nora says, bottom lip jutting out. “I love him around you. He’s all… stupid.”

You giggle, wrapping your arms around yourself in sheer embarrassment, and maybe a little giddiness too. “Yeah, I don’t know.”

“Okay,” she says, taking off the top she came in before turning back to your options. “What about for you tonight?”

You check that the door is closed before digging to the bottom of your suitcase, pulling out a new top you didn’t want Rafe to see until it was on you. “What about this one? It won’t be too much for where we’re going, right?”

Nora sticks her head through the hole of the crop top, pausing with the shirt halfway on when she notices what you’re holding up. “Shut the fuck up. He’s gonna lose his mind.”

“He’s gonna tell me to change,” you say, rolling your eyes. Rafe never actually meant it, and it was never about how anybody besides him would look at you in whatever you wore. You wore whatever you want, but you knew certain outfits would guarantee an earlier end to the night than others. And maybe the combination of the last month apart and Rafe’s insistence that you stay in tonight had gotten to you a little, because that was your exact goal tonight.

“It’ll be a miracle if the two of you even make it to the pregame.”

—

Miracles happen, and the two of you manage to make it through both the pregame at Rafe’s fraternity house and the walk to the bar. Rafe wanted to skip the house altogether and just pregame at his own place, but the rest of them insisted you get to have the full experience. It was fun, really different from your own school, and you met tens of people whose names you would be hard pressed to be remembered anyway—but it wasn’t made any easier by the cheap alcohol in your system or the way Rafe had been eyeing you as soon as you came down the stairs with Nora.

“What… is this?” he said dumbly, his hands on autopilot as they roamed your shoulders and back, fingers slipping into gaps in the fabric and tugging experimentally. “What?”

You just giggled. “New top, you like it?”

“Let me guess, McCall?” Rafe murmured, eyes fixated on any areas of exposed skin.

“She helped pick it out,” you admit. “You didn’t tell me if you like it.”

He set his cup down on the counter, dragging you fully into him before pressing a hard kiss onto your awaiting lips. “Love it.”

It’d been all meaningful glances and longing touches after that, Rafe never letting you stray far from him, and hardly taking a hand off of you the entire night unless there was a considerable physical distance between you.

“You’re seriously trying to kill me, aren’t you?” he asks, beneath where you’re practically perched on his lap at a table with his friends. It’d been packed with college students by the time you all arrived—apparently there was some drink special this particular night—but you managed to all squeeze into a booth.

“S’what you get for ruining the surprise,” you shrug, sipping your drink. He groans, his head falling forward until his forehead is resting between your partially bare shoulder blades.

“Wanna go home,” he urges, assuming he’s being quiet enough. “Please.”

“Dude, get it together. We’ve been here for an hour,” Cody calls from beside the two of you, pressed into the wall. He regards you then, amusement in his gaze. “What did you do to him?”

Your cheeks burn and you turn away to lean further into your boyfriend, not sure what to say to that, thankful when Rafe grumbles something along the lines of ‘cut it out.’

Graham stacks his cup into the growing pile of empties in the middle of the table, palms slapping the table top as he stands to get out. “Alright, who wants another round?”

You finish off the rest of your drink while everyone tells him what they want, blushing when he gets to you and Rafe immediately rattles off your order for you. Graham rolls his eyes.

“C’mon, loverboy,” he says, pointing at Rafe. “Help me carry.”

“Fine,” Rafe agrees tapping your hip so you lean over the table enough for him to slide out, his hands dipping way lower on your body than they needed to. He stands at the end of the bench, looking down at you. “You gonna be okay?”

“Mhm,” you nod. He stares you down for a bit longer and you push on his chest. “Go.”

He does, retreating into the crowd with a dopey smile on his face, almost bumping into someone before Graham is telling him to pay attention, shoving him toward the bar first with firm hands on his shoulders.

It’s busy, and you were right to expect he’d be gone for a little while. You talk with Sawyer for a little bit, finding out you have similar majors and comparing the merits of your respective schools’ programs. But a girl you recognize from the pregame approaches your table and he is all ears, making Nora switch spots with him so he can sit at the end of the bench and give her his full attention.

You turn to join the other half of the table’s conversations, which seems to be about where the other round is.

“Why is it so busy tonight?” Nora complains, looking around at the large crowd in distaste. “I miss fall semester when all of the freshmen are still too afraid to use their fake IDs.”

“I know, I want my drink,” Cody agrees, standing up as best he can in the booth to turn around and survey the bar. “Oh.”

He drops into his seat, looking at Nora. You look between the two of them in confusion. “What?”

Nora’s confused too, leaning up to follow where his gaze had gone, then scoffing. “Of course she’s here.”

“Who?” you ask, starting to grow concerned. The two of them share a look, which only makes that feeling grow. “Guys, who?”

You take matters into your own hands, turning to look and see if you can see who either of them are talking about. You’re not sure why she’d stand out in a crowd so easily they’d both be able to spot her—until you spot Rafe’s tall figure instead. And then you see who they’re talking about, because she’s leaning up against the bar beside him, a flirty smile on her face. You only watch them for a few seconds, because you trust Rafe and you don’t want him to look over here and think you don’t, turning and falling back into your seat.

“That’s Olivia,” Nora tells you. “She’s in my sorority.”

“And she’s obsessed with Rafe,” Cody adds. He groans later, nearly jack knifing at the table. “Nora, why the fuck did you kick me?”

“Shut up, she’s not obsessed with him,” Nora says, then turns to you. “She’s not obsessed with him. Well, maybe a little…”

“Oh, so you agree, but you kicked me?”

You leave them to bicker while you sneak one last glance at the two of them over your shoulder. You usually tried not to judge, but you were a girl and you knew the signs—you might agree with Cody on this one. But your boyfriend looks focused on the bartender, shoving Graham when he tried to open a tab on his card, the two of them laughing while they push each other back and forth, nearly spilling a drink. You turn back around, shaking your head at your own antics. Rafe had never given you a reason not to trust him.

“What’s her deal?” you sigh, giving into wherever this conversation is going.

“They had a thing, like, sophomore year?” Nora wonders, looking to Cody for confirmation, who nods.

A thing. “What does that mean?”

“They went out a few times, I think she took him to one of her formals…” Cody says, trailing off before shaking his head. “Either way, she’ll still come up to him sometimes when we’re out.”

“I think you should go fight her,” Nora proclaims.

“Who’s fighting who?” Sawyer says, suddenly clued into the conversation again, his girl nowhere to be seen anymore.

“Olivia’s here. Y/n is gonna go fight her,” she says matter of factly, while you gape like a goldfish at this shift in conversation.

“Yeah?” Sawyer says with a gleam in his eye, immediately giddy at the idea. “Sick. Remember, thumb goes over your knuckles—”

“Guys, I’m not fighting her,” you say incredulously.

“She’s never gonna leave him alone otherwise,” Cody tells you, smiling when your eyes widen. “I’m serious.”

Everyone seems to be in agreement, and you chance one more look over at the three of them, nearly rolling your eyes when you see how close she’s gotten to him.

“Do I… should I go up to him? Or should I just wait it out?” you ask.

“Listen,” Cody says, a heavy arm resting over your shoulders. “Rafe will be fine. He turns down girls like every time we go out.”

He groans again, leaning forward over the table much like he had before. The culprit, Nora, is glaring at him from across the table. “Why the fuck would you say that?”

“S’true!” he cries. The two of them go back to bickering while you sink further into your seat, trying your hardest not to look over at them again.

“Hey,” Sawyer calls softly, getting your attention from across the table. “You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“I know,” you sigh, leaning your elbows on the table. You hardly know Sawyer but the alcohol and emotions swirling in your body at the moment tell your brain that he’s a trustworthy confidant. “I know. I don’t get jealous, I just… he’s never mentioned her to me before.”

“You guys didn’t even start dating until this summer, right?” he asks. You nod. “They’ve been history. Don’t worry about it. Do you want another round? I can make it a double.”

“Rafe’s bringing me one,” you say, staring at the table.

“Well they’re taking forever and my friend works here,” Sawyer says, already standing up and turning to the other two. “Shots?”

“Please,” Cody says, Nora rolling her eyes at his pained tone of voice before agreeing.

When it’s just the three of you, she sits up straighter, clapping her hands together. “I have an idea. You should flirt with Cody in front of him.”

The boy in question immediately puts space between the two of you, practically slamming into the wall by the booth, even though you made no moves toward him. “I actually plan on living through the night, so fuck no.”

Sawyer returns in record time, and you toss back a shot of whatever he brought before you can think about why your boyfriend still hadn’t made his own way back from the bar yet. “Whoa, okay. Cheers, I guess?”

“M’going to the bathroom,” you say, deciding it’s time to call in for backup. Rafe’s friends were great, but they didn’t know you.

“You sure? I can come with,” Nora says, already gathering her bag, but you wave her off.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll be quick, tell Rafe where I went…” you say, looking for his figure once more, but you can’t see him from this angle anymore. “If he ever comes back over here.”

The three of them exchange glances behind your back, you’re sure, but you beeline to the bathroom you’d been to on the way in, cutting through the sea of bodies. There’s no line when you finally make it inside, thank god, because you’re knocking the toilet seat down with your foot and sitting immediately as soon as you seen an open stall, opening the group chat.

y/n: besties help

delilah: omg she lives!!!

davis: HELLO? THOUGHT U HAD LIT JUST BEEN SNATCHED AND MURDERED UNTIL RAFE POSTED U ON HIS STORY

davis: u looked cute btw!!!

y/n: wait aw 🥺 thank u

mccall: anyway !!! Why help?

y/n: there’s a girl talking to rafe

davis: OH

mcall: do you want me to kill her?

delilah: i will help hide the body ^

davis: dramatic. just go mark ur territory ??

mcall: boring

delilah: no davis is right!!! wren agrees. and he says hi. and wants to know how rafe liked the weed

y/n: hi wren he loved it

mcall: of course wren agrees

mcall: anyway who is this bitch

y/n: idk he’s never mentioned her

y/n: but all of his friends know about her ??

davis: mark! ur! territory!!! go take a shot first if u have to

“Hey, I dunno if you’re like, doing a line in there, but could you hurry up? I’m about to pee my pants,” a voice calls, a soft knock coming to the stall.

“Sorry,” you say, standing up immediately and throwing the stall door open. “All yours.”

“No worries, I love your top!” the random girl says. You watch her eyes change as she scans your face. “Are you okay?”

You figure you’ve consulted everyone else in your life at this point—save for Kelce, who you were still debating texting—what’s a stranger in the bar bathroom? “There’s a girl out there and she’s talking to my boyfriend.”

“Oh. Oh,” the girl says. “Don’t even sweat it. You look so hot, right guys?”

She turns to the girls standing in line by the wall, who all nod, apparently listening to the entire exchange.

“See. Go show her what’s up.”

“I should, right?”

“Yes. There’s no way she’s hotter than you. Go,” another one of them says, red lips pulled into a reassuring smile. “And where’d you get that top?

You leave the bathroom with a little more confidence in your system, letting all of the collective hyping up from Rafe’s friends, your friends, and the random bathroom girls (who you now have on Snapchat) give you that last bit of courage needed before making your way to where you last saw Rafe and Graham. And what’s-her-face.

You’re on a mission, pushing yourself to walk faster before you chicken out completely, but your path is blocked when a large body bumps into you. Their drink spills over the side of their cup, but you’re quick enough to move out of the way, the beer only splashing the top of your shoes.

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry,” the guy says. “Fuck, I didn’t see you.”

“No, it’s fine,” you reassure him, a little distracted. You make to move past him but he follows your movement, and you finally look up at him.

“Not sure how I didn’t notice you,” he says, apologetic tone replaced by something notably sleezier. “Hi, I’m Kyle.”

“Hi Kyle,” you say, making to move past him again, and getting blocked again. “Sorry, I’m trying to get to my boyfriend. And his roommates.”

You hope that’s enough to deter him, but you’re unsurprised when it isn’t. “Ah. So do you actually have a boyfriend, or are you just playing hard to get?”

“No, I do. Promise,” you tell him, a bit of an edge seeping into your tone against your will. “He’s probably looking for me.”

The guy, Kyle, makes a show of looking around the bar, shrugging. “Well I don’t see him. Can I buy you a drink while we wait for him to magically appear?”

In a last ditch effort, you lean closer to the bar, standing up on the bumper lining the bottom of it so you can gain some height. Rafe isn’t where you saw him last, and you scan the entirety of the bar, noticing he isn’t at the table either, although Graham seems to have made it back. With Olivia in tow.

“Come down from there. It’s just one drink,” the guy says, a hand coming to the small of your back as if to steady you in your precarious position.

“Do not touch—”

“Hey.” Kyle’s suddenly completely off of you, and almost entirely gone from your line of sight, the back of Rafe’s corduroy jacket now all you can see. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, man, we were just talking,” Kyle says, looking over Rafe’s shoulder at you. “Right?”

“No, she’s not talking to you. I am,” Rafe says. You sag into his back on autopilot, feeling a surprising sense of relief wash over your body as you fist the material of his jacket in one hand. You give it a tug, and Rafe speaks again. “Get out of here. And don’t go around touching random girls, freak.”

“Whatever,” the other guy says, cutting his losses and stalking off without another word.

Rafe watches him walk off before turning to face you, his broad body still shielding you from most of the crowd. “Are you okay? What was all that about?”

“Nothing, he just spilled on me, and then he said sorry and wanted to buy me a drink but then I told him about you—I promise I did,” you explain. “But he still didn’t let me leave even though I told him I had a boyfriend—”

“Hey, hey,” Rafe says, his waved hand shushing you. “I’m not worried about that at all. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“You’re sure?”

“I was supposed to go over there and fight for your honor. The girls in the bathroom told me I looked hot. But that guy spilled beer on my shoes,” you complain. “And you had to come fight for mine.”

Rafe laughs at that, his hands falling to your waist as he tries to get a better read on your expression. “My—my honor?”

“Yes. I saw that girl talking to you,” you admit, feeling stupid that you were ever insecure now that you’re back in his arms. And relieved that you didn’t actually have to go over there and make your presence known.

“Oh, Olivia?” Rafe asks, then sighs, his hand cupping your jaw, a ringed thumb brushing over your cheek slowly. “And I’m assuming everyone at the table filled you in.”

You shrug, looking down. “A little.”

“Do you wanna go home now?” Rafe asks, reading your mind. “You don’t have to be stubborn anymore.”

You rear back at that, eyebrows furrowed at the smug look on his face. “I’m not being stubborn.”

“Okay, you’re not,” he agrees, smiling knowingly. You roll your eyes, catching Nora’s eyes over his right shoulder. You won’t give the other girl at the table the upper hand by chancing a look at her to make sure she’s still there, but you can tell by the look on Nora’s face theres a huge chance she is. And by the way she’s been acting all night, you know there’s an even bigger chance she’s watching the two of you right now.

“Shut up,” you tell Rafe, surging onto your tiptoes, your arms around his shoulders dragging him down into a deep kiss. He lets out a surprised hum, pulling you closer into him, hands snaking up the back of your shirt like they had been all night. You pull back, wiping some of your lip gloss of him before patting his chest. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes, ma’am. Let’s go say bye.”

Rafe sends you through the crowd first, his hands on your shoulders and his chest pressed to your back as you both move through the bar.

“There they are!” Cody says, trapped between the wall and the table’s newest addition. Olivia was sitting where you were just sitting, like she was waiting for Rafe to come back so she could take your spot. “Are we leaving?”

“Uh,” Rafe laughs, his hands circling around your shoulders, head resting on top of yours. “We are. You guys can do whatever you—”

“Sorry,” Olivia interrupts, eyeing you with one of the fakest smiles you’ve ever seen. “I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Hi,” you say. “We haven’t, I’m Y/n.”

“Rafe’s girlfriend,” Graham slurs, voice dropping so only those close to him could here. “Who he was literally just telling you about…”

You and Nora are the only one’s who catch it, exchanging giggles that cause everyone else to furrow their eyebrows.

“Right,” Olivia says, extending a hand to you. “I’m Olivia, Rafe’s friend.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say, shaking her hand quickly. It’s an awkward reach with the way Rafe’s still clinging to you, which you can tell only pisses her off more.

“Alright,” your boyfriend says then, chest rumbling against your back and his voice in your ear. He presses a kiss to your cheek and you finally turn away from his… friend to look back up at him. He’s smiling at you, eyes alight, positively itching to take you home. “Shall we?”

—

He hasn’t seen you in a few weeks, but Rafe still picks up on the shift in your demeanor as soon as he sees it happen. He knew you weren’t rattled by the random guy at the bar—as much as he hated it, Rafe’s sure that’s something you’ve dealt with before.

He sincerely hopes he’s wrong, but he knows exactly what it is.

You’re holding back, and he’s letting you, but only for a little bit. He tucks you under his arm on your walk home, hums where his lips are pressed into your hair while you tell him about the girls you met in the bathroom, even let’s you press him back into his mattress for a second and kiss him stupid until he almost loses his head, his hands bracketing your hips to push you back momentarily. You’re comfortable in the safety of his room and his arms, your shoes off and hair already tied up.

You pout but go willingly, and he knows you were expecting this moment.

“You wanna tell me what that kiss at the bar was actually about, baby?”

“No.”

“Will you?”

“Yes,” you scowl, sliding off of his lap until you’re laying flat on your back beside him. He grabs one of your hands with both of his own, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before laying them back on the bed between you two. “Can I ask you something?”

“‘Course you can.”

“Even if it’s kinda… not fun?”

“Even if,” he assures you.

“We were having such a good time,” you whine, rolling onto your side, your knee digging into his hip. He grabs your leg so it falls over his lap, his nails digging into the seem of your jeans. “Don’t wanna ruin it.”

“I’m officially no longer having a good time until you tell me what you’re thinking about up there,” Rafe declares.

“How come you never told me about Olivia?”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Rafe.”

He rolls onto his side then, propping himself up on one arm so he can look at your face when he says what he’s about to. “Does the name Frederick mean anything to you?”

Rafe knew there was a chance that would hurt you, but he didn’t prepare himself for the way it’d tug at something inside of him when you looked directly at him, eyes sad. “That’s kind of mean.”

“You took me out with your ex-boyfriend, and you didn’t even tell me it was him until after we left,” Rafe says.

“Yeah, but. You met him, Rafe,” you say. "If anything that was an ego boost for you.”

His hand on your leg travels to your face at that, making sure you’re really looking at him.

“Exactly.”

“Stop. She’s into you. That’s completely different.”

“I know it’s different. You dated him, he was your boyfriend, and you’re blind if you think he isn’t still into you. Olivia and I never even—”

“But she’s pretty,” you say quietly. “And she’s in a sorority with your best friend’s girlfriend, and all of your friends know about her… and she’s here. And I’m not.”

“Hey,” he says, propping himself up higher on his arm, leaning over you. “Let me tell you something. She asked me to her formal, and then I took her on one date. Two years ago, when you were dating someone else.”

His free arm moves so he’s holding your face, and your hands quickly encircle his forearm, your thumbs stroking through the hair on his tricep. “Can I ask you another not fun question?”

“You get one more,” he teases, feeling steady enough to lean down and kiss you finally. “Go for it.”

“Why didn’t you keep going out with her?”

Rafe groans, knowing he’s gonna tell you—really wishing he didn’t feel like he wanted to. But it’s you, and he does. “You’re not allowed to tell me I’m lying.”

And you’re not allowed to cry, he thinks.

“Then don’t lie.”

“I’m not,” he sighs, his elbow sliding down the bed until he’s laying flat against it, face pressed into the blanket while he tries to calm the butterflies in his stomach. Rafe takes a breath when he un-burrows his face, resting his head on his arm as he looks back over at you. “Alright. Remember Chloe?”

“Yes,” you scowl.

“With Chloe, I thought we were fine at first. It took me a while to realize something was, like… missing?” he admits. “But with Olivia, I felt it right away. And I honestly started thinking there was something wrong with me.”

“Rafe.”

“I know, I know,” he says hiding his red cheeks in the safety of his arms again. “It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.”

“It isn’t stupid,” you insist, a hand running through his hair as you tuck yourself closer, leaving almost no room between your bodies. “And there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Well, I know that now.” You give a tug on his locks, and Rafe turns to look at you again, sighing at your raised eyebrows. “What?”

“Would you… if that was happening with me, would you tell me?”

“Nothing’s missing with us, Y/n. That’s the entire point I’m trying to make right now.”

“I’m completely lost.”

Rafe groans one more time.

He’s a downright romantic when it comes to you and your story together, and he’s not above the concept of fate and soulmates—he never was, but he definitely isn’t now. Even so, he knows it’s dishonest to say or think that he was ever consciously holding out for you all these years, through all of these girls. You were something that was always in the back of his mind, pushed to the forefront when he’d travel home for a weekend and run into you, or when Kelce would bring you up in a conversation. Rafe knows deep down that even when you two did give things a try almost a year ago, part of him was scared it’d be just like all of the other times, the other girls. Everything felt different with you, everything felt better with you, but a small part of him thought he might have a chip missing in his heart somewhere.

But it only took about a month of falling in love with you to realize that he couldn’t be more wrong.

“It’s you. Pretty sure this entire time, it’s you that I was missing.”

You keep quiet after an intake of a breath, Rafe watching you clear your throat and blink your eyes a few times, the way you always do when you’re about to start crying. But you do it all with a smile on your face, your head titled to the side slightly. “You know. I already flew across the country for you. You don’t have to sweet talk me anymore.”

“Then I probably shouldn’t say what I was about to, right?” he asks, laughing when you struggle to flip him over, rolling slowly to help you and his hands finding their spot on your hips.

“Tell me,” you demand, leaning down for a kiss. “It’s Valentine’s Day Eve.”

“No one’s ever made me feel the way you do. And no one ever will,” he says, making sure you really hear him. “And I’m never gonna hurt you.”

You surge down to kiss him, and Rafe feels moisture drip onto his cheeks, but doesn’t mention it. “Might have to put a collar on you, RC.”

Rafe bursts out into laughter while you keep kissing down his chin. “Okay.”

“I’m serious, these fake tans need to know you’re spoken for,” you say, pulling back once you think about it, eyes still a little teary. “That was mean. I’m not mean.”

“You’re not mean,” he agrees.

“Sawyer told me to fight her,” you say.

“Sawyer doesn’t know that you almost broke your hand practicing your punches on me in high school,” he challenges, laughing when you roll your eyes. “And I think I’d prefer a tattoo of your initials. Like, right here.”

He gestures to his neck, and your lips find the spot he’d pointed at, your hips starting to work against his while he finally starts pulling at your top like he’d wanted to all night.

“Like a brand mark?”

“Exactly.”

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks fanfiction

[eremiie]

you’re not fetishizing. you literally talk so nicely and talk about eremin so well. and you characterize them so well too.

now mlm fetishization. i got things to say. this gonna start a fire so don’t post this bc i dont want them to hound you because THEY WILL 😭

the biggest mlm fetishizing group in the aot fandom i’ve ever seen are the erwin stans who ship erwin and levi (the eruris lmao). literally red flags them group. “don’t generalize blah blah”, well yeah but isn’t common sense that if the post ain’t about u then shrug and move on? why so affected 👀 anyway. them eruris are literally……..a terrible and awful fandom and they’re HUGE. MAJORITY. living in their own echo chamber and you can definitely perceive them. they literally talk about smut a lot, and the general thing i see from them is them reducing levi to an erwin sip and a glorified hole for erwin, literally erasing his entire character and they”re big on the dom sub dynamics, oh boy, like levi is the world’s most vulnerable sub who erwin introduced sex to or who only thinks about erwin’s dick. it’s always gonna be levi whose entire character is erased and reduced to a cardboard cutout for their ship. and they romanticize the hell out of the ackerbond, they fucking love the whole knight who is blindly devoted to the liege/master like that’s a weird ass fantasy?? esp with how isayama loves calling shit “slave to this or that”?? and they love it?? please i get so 💀💀💀 it’s hella obvious about how they project their fantasies onto levi. and then if u dare say in public that you don’t really see eruri as romantic or like you don’t care for it, they rain hell on you. dogpile and bully. weird ass thing is there are old people there. on twitter, they’re vicious because they are so many, and their fanartists have HUGE followings, i’m talking 300k followers up. and a lot of the nsfw art are very…dom-sub porn. it’s weird, and they get so mad when you notice shit, like hello who would not…. they once ratioed a stan with like 70 followers on twitter quoting them with their jobs and ages and life achievements and ending they mic drops with “still shipping eruri and writing eruri fanfic”. one of them said proudly they were…52 and three quarters 💀 like is it that serious……..

cherry on top: majority of eruris i’ve encountered are cis women 💀 i don’t care if they say ‘oh i’m bi! i use she/they!’ JESUS they’re still cis? it’s so fucking weird? especially when like 99% or the only ships they talk about mlm. now hmm….

now that’s…….that’s when i really do swerve. to those people, they just need to say they got a fetish and go

they’re insane.

that anon who tried to ‘call you out’ doesn’t know shit. at fucking all.

nobodies gonna hound me i don't think anyone cares fr lol

also thank you i try my best to characterize every character to the best of my ability hehe

the funny thing is i actually really don't see a lot of eruri shippers so i don't really have an opinion on them, i can see why people would ship them though and i do see a lot of fanart for them lol

but aside from that what you're telling me is wow,,, i hate that that's even an issue and that there are people out there who put aside great aspects of a character and when they look at certain characters can only perceive them in a sexual way, it's pretty disgusting and disrespecting to the creator imo and not only that, shit like that carries irl bc these characters possess qualities that exist meaning you can have this fetish towards rl people.

i'm not gonna generalize bc i don't have much knowledge or have came across many eruri shippers but def for the ones who are like that/any shipper who is like that i disagree with that mindset / the fetishization of people's identity

[misterbitches]

I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed

Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:

keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.

The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:

- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)

-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose

- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try

But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.

0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.

1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.

Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.

I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is

2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.

There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.

The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.

So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.

At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.

fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.

Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”

If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.

Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.

And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.

Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao

Antiblackness

Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.

FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....

Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.

Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.

There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.

ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that

It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.

These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.

Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao

Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.

Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.

It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility

Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.

This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.

There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.

additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.

Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...

We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.

That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.

HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:

a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?

These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.

Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.

History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)

Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)

Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:

Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!

Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #i told sunset about you #a thot #tharntype #lovely writer #bl fandom #idk #lol #long

[glitchydyke]

UM I've never played DR i only consume it via your posts but. that funny little angry guy with all the hamsters? for the character ask game :-)

HELP IM GLAD U LIKE MY SCREAMING ABT MY FUNNY LITTLE ANIME PEOPLE

gundham:

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexy KING he kisses girls guys and nonbinary ppl directly on the mouth <33

Gender Headcanon: AGENDER ABSOLUTELY. UR TELLING ME THE SUPREME OVERLORD OF ICE FUCKS W GENDER?? ABSOLUTELY NOT

A ship I have with said character: NO BC HE AND SONIA I’M LITERALLY SCREAMING!!! THEYRE PERFECT!!!!!! THEYRE SO IN LOVE!!!!!!!! HE’S ALSO V CUTE W KAZUICHI i like the enemies to lovers of it all,,, they’re arguing over sonia n kazuichi turns away a little n the sun hits him just right and gundham just looks at his messy hair and the smear of dirt on his cheek from what he’s been working on and has a gay little italicised oh moment

A BROTP I have with said character: HIM AND HAJIME ARE BROS he yells abt magic and hajime sits there like idk what the FUCK you’re talking abt but it seems cool :] OH HIM AND CHIAKI WOULD B SO GOOD AS WELL THEY PLAYS FANTASY GAMES AND HE GETS SO INTO IT W THEM

A NOTP I have with said character: aside from characters i personally see as lesbians i don’t rlly have one tbh?? gundham deserves to kiss everyone

A random headcanon: he knows how to sew and knit and he makes little outfits for the devas of destruction :] he has a little wardrobe for them (it used to b just a box but he decided they needed smth fancier) and he makes little coat hangers out of paper clips and hangs them all up like they’re real ppl clothes

General Opinion over said character: HES SO FUCKING FUNNY I WOULD DIE FOR HIM. HES ALSO JUST GENUINELY A GOOD PERSON LIKE WHEN HE COMMITTED HIS MURDER IT WAS FOR THE GOOD OF HIS CLASS BC HE KNEW THEY COULDNT GO ON THE WAY THEY WERE!!!!! AND HE PICKED NEKOMARU BC HE DIDNT SEE HIM AS A PERSON AND HE DIDNT WANT TO ACTUALLY HARM SOMEONE FULLY ALIVE WHICH. twisted morals there but his heart was in the right place okay 😭

#HES SO FUCKING GOOD. DRAMATIC LITTLE HAMSTER MAN #asks

[sternbilder]

ok I'm about halfway through my first run so lemme rank all the characters in terms of how much I currently want to date them, because I think it would be really funny to look back on later. ready

zen: 7/10. I find him very attractive and likable! like don't get me wrong, he is extremely in love with himself and very desperate forward but he's also a total dumbass about it so it comes off as more funny than off-putting? I knocked him down a few points bc I feel like the biggest appeal of a korean dating sim for me is that exciting moment when the other person finally asks if you can drop the formal speech and just call you 너 and I will never get that with zen bc he is a rude little bastard who started using casual speech with me pretty much immediately, but overall I do find his ridiculous flirting fun and I do like him, especially now that he's started to show hints of Sad Backstory™.

yoosung: 4/10. he is a college student and. it sure shows. no offense to college students, but I am twenty seven earth years old and I would much rather be dating adults. he's also.......very dumb?? which I like about him as a character bc his naïveté is extremely precious and also very funny when he falls for everyone else's obvious teasing, but it does not particularly make me want to date him. he gives me little brother vibes, I am not attracted to him but he is adorable and I do want to protect him and wish the very best for him.

jaehee: 9/10. I'm biased bc I'm already on her route but jaehee is extremely dateable. smart, hardworking, competent, cute, wears a suit, and is patient almost to a fault?? she was pretty curt at first and I can tell she is still trying very hard to be professional but whenever she's like "I feel like u just,, get me, I love talking to you I hope we can be closer from now on" I'm like 🥺🥺🥺?? also I do resent cheritz a little for making her look like That and telling me I can only end up in a platonic relationship with her. ok cheritz.

jumin: 8/10 every warning sign is screaming at me not to date jumin bc he's an unapologetic asshole in every way with zero self awareness but unfortunately he's very hot and has a nice voice so I cannot help myself. I wouldn't date him irl bc I do not trust people who grew up wealthy but what are dating sims but a vehicle to indulge your fantasies of dating a hot irredeemable bastard with zero actual consequences? also his obsession with his dumb cat is stupidly endearing, even though I'm forcing myself not to encourage him for jaehee's sake.

707: 6.5 7/10. he's very goofy but I'm into it? I feel like he's very suspicious and maybe in cahoots with Big Evil (though I don't get evil vibes from seven himself, yet,) but that air of mystery and danger and the thrill of possibly being stabbed in the back only intrigues me more. I would rate him higher if he like. actually knew how to cook food and had a savings account bc, again, he reads to me as extremely early 20s in a way that is totally unappealing to me, but I do quite like him overall.

v: 5/10. he is very polite and nice I guess and I can smell the tragedy on him from a mile away which is very appealing in a fictional character sense, but to be frank, I know exactly nothing about this man. is he even a dateable option?? I saw he has a route but none of my responses to his chats are giving me hearts. maybe he's just difficult to please. or maybe he's still hung up over his dead ex, which is perfectly understandable but a major no from me in terms of dateability.

rika: 3/10. I don't think she has a route but I do have a vague theory that she's not actually dead and is like. pulling some strings somewhere?? the only interaction I've had with her is in that one hallucination (?) where she said some vague creepy thing about the afterlife, so so far my impression of her does not particularly inspire affection, but I guess I'll find out more about her later???

that white haired bitch who kidnapped me in my first run (ray??): 0/10 fuck off!!!!!!!!!!

#cam thoughts #liveblog: mysme

[jilyandbambi]

auuuurrrghhhhhhh

but GERALT of RIVIA really is Peak Soft™.

battle-scarred, world weary monster slayer whose first instinct is ALWAYS to spare the monsters he's sent to slay so as to show the humans in power how and why the fanged scaly beasties Aren't So Bad. like some kind of Medieval Crocodile Hunter but Buff and Depressed. Because maybe if he can convince non-supernatural people to react with empathy when they encounter what they can't understand or overpower then hopefully, in time, that kindness and compassion might be directed back to him.

if he can help other monsters be accepted. the same will be true for him, one day

and this just has me like--?? this is really the 'Laconic Tortured Soul Who Believes He's Unworthy of Love' trope done right

normally, these types of male protags (written by male writers) are 'lovable scamps' who take all of their issues w/ society & their sad backstory out on their love interests and/or the members of their 'found family' in ways that come off as self-centered and downright mean-spirited. and the narrative just excuses it bc meEN aRe NoT ALlOwEd tO FEeL eMoTioNs dontcha know? so here's our attempt at deconstructing that by giving u a protag who uses the ppl in his life like burnt out receptacles in his trashfire of toxic masculinity and repression.

and Geralt is such a great counter argument to that trope. here we have this certified fresh ass badass Your Dad Calls Me Daddy superpowered monster killer, but whose first instinct is, paradoxically, empathy, compassion, and conciliation. why? because he’s been there, Is There, constantly being spat at, mistrusted, betrayed, and shunned. He’s so fucking lonely and starved of person-to-person connections he talks to his horse, and when he has actual people to talk to, people who want to get to know him and be around him when he’s so used to being shot down and turned away, that it’s all so out of his norm it’s all he can do to respond with grunts and monosyllables and bland matter of factness BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE KNOWS. But it’s not to be cruel, he’s just not used to people liking him enough to engage him in friendly conversation.  

and like, yeah, it’s funny to joke abt Geralt’s memetic laconicism but this is one of my other favorite things about him: that he IS so quiet and humble about his work that his whole I’m Here to Redeem schtick flies under the radar for most characters in universe and many audience members as well. And that’s just?? I feel like in a different show this type of character would have a bunch of award-baity monologues about the world being rotten and cruel to make it even easier to buy into the narrative’s obfuscation of this character’s heart of gold, or they’d play the trope dead straight + have Geralt’s story be one abt redemption vis a vis his love interest and child mcguffin. Or, script would go another route and  play the Messianic Monster here to teach white peop--I mean, humans--not to be racist anymore so that the audience couldn’t possibly miss his heart of gold and pacifistic message.

instead, we get Geralt, neither sinner nor saint but doing his best to do the most amount of good he can wherever his travels take him to make the world a little less awful and a little more compassionate. he asks for little, takes even less (seriously, do any of the villages he save actually pay him?), and barely talks. He’s bad with people but doesn’t want to be. His sharpness, when it comes out, isn’t meant to drive others away; it comes as a result of chronic insomnia and social isolation, not from a need to hurt others the way he’s been hurt. he’s not here to lash out at the world for throwing him away. He’s a bit cynical and bitter, as battle scarred social outcasts are wont to be, but his actions belying the stalwart hope for a better, kinder world outshine all that. And it’s done quietly.    

people might roll their eyes at this but I really don’t think Geralt gets enough credit for the amount of depth there is to him, the very specific way he defies so many fantasy protag tropes.

#geralt of rivia #did jaskier right this. i went too hard i think #i wanted to say more abt geralt being a portrayal of mentally ill male characters w/o invoking toxic masculinity coping mechanisms #but this went on too long #the witcher netflix #the witcher #the witcher meta

[dastardlydandelion]

Max Mayfield and Tory Nichols in a horror film, what would be the plot/monster and would they survive?

this is it. this is the tumblr ask. the ask i've been waiting for my whole life. my time to shine, here we go!

filming begins under the cut:

tried and true creature feature, this is a werewolf movie. let's go with a werewolf between the van helsing (2004) and trick r treat (2007) variety. the beast once transformed is fucking huge, clearly both lupine and human, head almost entirely wolf, body primarily bipedal in shape, but robust, sinew shredding claws and big ass bone tearing teeth. also tails!! bc tails are cute!!! powers include monstrous strength, accelerated speed, healing factor. weaknesses silver and decapitation.

okay, so van helsing (2004) werewolves are mindless rage monsters and trick r treat (2007) werewolves are cognizant. for our max & tory creature feature, they're gonna of the in between variety. i chose a werewolf movie for these two specifically bc they both have their anger problems and the werewolf has long been a symbol of anger unleashed in the horror genre, even tho common gray wolves are just like. i mean, yk, animals, they hunt and howl and pee on trees and most of the time would rather avoid humans. but obvi horror genre werewolves are not common gray wolves, they need to be scary, and like, the remnants of traditional folklore influenced by rabies and discourse in the middle ages...wait, where was i going with this? anger, yes, max and tory both have anger problems and i think this works for what i'm gonna do with this theoretical movie.

who's the werewolf in town? terry fucking silver. bc terry is evil and dramatic and also, i think it's rly funny for a werewolf to have silver as a surname. he's fully cognizant in his transformation and he's purposefully biting kids and teenagers bc he wants more talented karate students. and like. yk, with the enhanced strength, speed, and regenerative recovery of lycanthropy, well. there u have it, more talented karate students.

do max and tory know each other, if so, how? okay, so in this 'verse tory is a lil older than max. that reflects their canon ages, i think. let's say max is 13 and tory is 16. billy has tory in some of his classes and he more or less makes a deal to spilt his allowance with her if she'll babysit max bc he's tired of neil riding his ass to babysit max. tory needs money so she's like, 'sure, why not.' max finds it rly stupid that she's 13 and neil thinks she needs a fucking babysitter but as far as babysitters go, tory is fun. she likes to show max what she's learning in cobra kai and they spar together a lot. max would actually like to join cobra kai but 1) neil would throw a fit on various fronts and 2) lucas is in miyagi-do. max knows there's some rly intense beef between cobra kai and miyagi-do. ofc tory's filled her in on the karate war, how could she not?

well one day tory takes max to the playground to watch a plane fly like she does with miggy in ck, and it's nighttime, ofc, and lo, the full moon is out. shining up in the sky. they hear a howl. they both look at each other. max is kinda curious but tory's like nah, nah, we gotta go. she grabs her, starts pulling her along. but the next howl is a lot closer and they can hear smth running and it just sounds fuckin big. they're running too now, legs pumping hard, but there's no escape once the beast is right behind them, hot, rancid breath blasting the backs of their necks and harvest gold eyes glowing in the dark.

max gets bitten first. tory tries to kick the big ass beast off of her and then it rounds and bites her too. the terror is real now. and then shockingly, as fast as it'd come, it leaves. neither girl has an explanation for wtaf just happened but tory takes max home. billy gripes at her for being out late but helps her patch up. when susan learns what happens she decides to take max to get rabies shots right away. loads her up in the car, runs her off to the emergency room-- but when the bandages come off, they are no wounds.

tory's bby bro tries to help patch her up too. but he's like 4 yrs old and his idea of "help" is sticking bandaids with cartoon characters up and down the wounds in haphazard fashion. tory plans to redo it all properly once she's put him to bed. sure enough after he's asleep, and she peels the bandaids off from every open mouthed pac-man to every green teenage mutant ninja turtle, the wounds are gone.

meanwhile there's missing ppl err day on the news. terry turns kids and teens but kills adults for the lulz.

tory and max know what happened to them was an event that tangibly, definitely happened but neither have any explanation for their wounds just disappearing. max, our resident horror fan, is the first to propose a real life werewolf as an explanation. she cites the missing ppl on the news. tory thinks she's tripping balls but reluctantly gives an inch when she acknowledges no, she can't think of any other explanation.

life goes on. max tells lucas what happened only she leaves out the part abt tory bc she's not gonna tell a miyagi-do student she's kickin it w the enemy. he doesn't rly believe her, like how she didn't rly believe him about the upside-down in their canon. he thinks the horror movies are rotting her brain.

tory almost tells her dojo but she gets distracted being pissed off by sam and that should be her priority, right? sensei kreese is always going on abt getting back at the enemy. she spends her shifts daydreaming abt revenge bc it's more comforting than worrying abt past due bills and her mother looking paler by the day.

full moon next month comes around. neither tory nor max are cognizant of or during their first respective transformations. max's first kill is neil. she's seven feet of fur and fury, tears his ribcage open with claws like daggers and sinks her teeth into his putrid, maggoty heart. susan isn't home. billy is, but he doesn't hear any of the fracas. he's unconscious on the living room floor, crisscrossing impressions of neil's belt buckle blaring red on his back.

tory's first kill is sam. sam larusso wants to think she's a bully?? fine, tory will show her a bully. she hops the miyagi-do fence after hours. she just wants a fight. just a fight, they always fight. but then she's sprouting fur and tory as tory gives way to smth else. she'd not aware of being a person when she doesn't have fur. not really, all she knows is rage and ravenousness and the morsel below her has bunny rabbit wide eyes.

neither of them remember what they did the next day. not vividly, anyway. it's there but it's cloudy and hard to discern, like a groggy fever dream more than a memory. but max burps up neil's wedding band and tory finds señor octopus (sam's stuffed animal) bloodied in her bed. it's apparent what happened. max accepts this more easily than tory bc 1) she always kind of suspected she'd turn, since she sincerely considered what attacked them was a werewolf and 2) max isn't terribly upset abt killing neil while tory is acutely horrified she killed sam.

max kinda had some smidgen of attachment to neil bc like, he's the only father figure in her life and here and there they've had their moments. but his abuse (psychological/physical toward billy, sexual/financial/psychological/emotional toward susan, psychological/emotional toward herself) outweighed any and all of those moments. she is genuinely concerned that she tore a human being to pieces and only vaguely remembers it but like, if she had to kill anyone, she figures neil was the best to kill. max is mostly concerned bc she can't kill neil a second time. she's worried the next time she turns it could be an innocent person, or one of her friends, or her mom, or billy.

tory is blindsided and scarcely able to comprehend the reality, holy shit, max was right, she's a fuckin werewolf. and she's sick to her stomach bc she hated sam but she never wanted to do anything like that. she didn't want to kill, she just wanted to break her face. scare her. rough her up. she didn't want to eat her. she just killed someone. she's a literal horror movie monster and she just killed sam. what's miguel going to think?

tory and max talk. they decide they need to find the werewolf who turned them. we get montages of them going over the news articles with a fine-toothed *ba dum tss* comb and searching areas where it seems like a werewolf would be. the woods. some caves. max all of a sudden has a freakishly tall man constantly hounding her to join cobra kai. neil's gone but she still hesitates bc of lucas being in miyagi-do. also he believes max now and with the proff, she's decided to let the rest of the party in as well. they also exist in this 'verse. she showed them the crime scene and the wedding band she burped up. billy isn't a roid rage racist in this 'verse bc that would be a giant buzzkill. he doesn't believe the werewolf shit either. he thinks max saw neil get attacked by some animal and that the carnage was so traumatizing for her, she subconsciously created a werewolf fantasy to cope.

tory meanwhile spirals downward. bc she passes sam's memorialized locker in the hall everyday. her memorial table in the other hall, full of sticky note condolences and mournful teddy bears, and a picture of sam right in the center always, always accusing her. miggy is heartbroken and distraught. hawk didn't care for sam but even he's freaked out by what happened, how the news said there were only torn up chunks and bones picked clean found in her bedroom. tory is terrified of herself. she's desperate to find whoever did this bc she wants to make them pay. if sensei silver has been asking her extra questions lately and presenting her performance to the class more than normal, she doesn't notice at all. aisha notices tory's fucked up but tory can't exactly tell aisha that she *ate* sam. aisha is also mourning, she and sam used to be bffs. so she doesn't say a word.

max has a theory that if u can learn to control ur anger, u can learn to control urself when u shift. she is, after all, v familiar with angry horror movie werewolves. and she's savvy enough to know it's smth she and tory have in common. neil is dead but that doesn't mean max isn't angry anymore. she's still angry at the damage already done and tbh also angry that there's some werewolf around turning ppl willy nilly bc she recognizes the danger in that and it wasn't smth she consented to. but controlling ur anger is an easier feat for max than tory insofar that max has a support system w her friends, and better relationships with the remainder of her fam. tory has two mentors actively, adamantly teaching her and her friends to be ruthless, view the world as ur enemy, use violence as ur go-to solution, and that mercy is weakness not to be tolerated.

when the next full moon rolls around, they decide to spend it together under the correct inference that they will transform. they think it's better to be together. they're hoping they'll be able to control each other, if not themselves. or that if they are both mindless rage monsters again, that rage will be turned on each other. this would be a better outcome operating on the presumption that one werewolf will be able to take what another can dish out, at the v least more so than a regular human being.

max is successfully able to maintain enough of her consciousness to control her actions once transformed. she feels aggressive and hungry, but not enraged and ravenous. she can keep it in check. tory, on the other hand, uh...tory can't do it. she throws her wolf head back in the most bloodcurdling howl ever and takes off like a bat outta hell. max goes loping after her. they can't speak like human speak in this form, but max tries to communicate with her. whimpers plaintively. tackles tory at one point, not out of anger but just tryna subdue her, licks at her ears and tries to get her to settle. tory bucks her off.

tory runs off again, max in pursuit. they wind up at the skate park where billy n robby are prolly up to some fuckery or another. i could easily see pre miyagi-do robby n billy getting up to all kinds of mischief. ooh, actually, they're prolly arguing abt that. now that robby's in miyagi-do he has another outlet for all his energy and he's getting the positive attention he craves so he's not participating in hooligan activity or shenanigans w billy anymore and billy is like. offended. except suddenly there's werewolves. fucking. snarling, gigantic, toothy, hairy ass werewolves.

let's say robby kicked miguel down two stories in this 'verse too and tory recognizes him in her werewolf form even if she isn't exactly cognizant of herself. she tears straight for him, jaws open. billy doesn't exactly *mean* to protect him but it's kinda an automatic reaction from putting himself in between whenever he thought neil was getting too aggressive w susan or max. and like, sure, robby's the better fighter (not that billy would ever acknowledge this) but it's not like he's gonna karate kick the motherfuckin werewolf anyway-- billy is bigger, he's bigger and it's instinct and the next thing he knows, he's in between robby and the thing w sharp teeth (tory).

and that's when max gets serious. she bowls tory over, away from billy before she can bite. they're rolling, tearing at each other with teeth and claws. lo and behold, terry silver is lurking in the background like the evil mastermind he is, just watching them shred each other and evaluating his experiment. it's a p close match and tory is the more aggressive of the two but she's also been going, going, going since she shifted and she's burning herself out. she's also fighting with the blind instinct of a threatened animal while max maintains more precision bc she has better control of herself. max also isn't wasting energy unnecessarily. max gets her jaws around tory's throat and tory just goes slack. but she can think and she doesn't want to hurt tory, so she opens her mouth and relaxes her maw, teeth grazing harmlessly thru tory's fur.

tory's being shown mercy. possibly for the first time. it's so unlike her conception of others' ruthlessness, so unlike the worldview that's been instilled into her that it startles her enough to crack thru to her cognizance. she does the wolfy deference thing where they tuck their tails and lick at the dominant pack member's muzzle. max responds in kind and lets tory up.

this is when they notice terry lurking (billy's already worked out the werewolf that came to his defense is max so he's just dumbfounded watching all this shit, and robby's not abt to leave someone who just saved his ass, so he's stuck unsuccessfully tryna pull billy away and inevitably watching too). terry calmly slinks over, sizing up his charges. he's pleased with the performance. but tory and max are anything but, another werewolf fight ensues.

so while they all get huge after transforming sheerly on the basis of being werewolves, i'm gonna guess the size is proportionate to their human forms. so tory is a little larger than max and terry significantly outsizes them both. terry is also the more experienced werewolf. it's two against one but it's not the curbstop it would be if this was some weaksauce werewolf, it's dramatic evil karate werewolf terry fuckin silver. terry's shredding tf outta these two. their healing factor can't keep up, he's dishing out faster than either of them can recover and tbh they were already winded from fighting each other first.

but it'd be a major buzzkill if our movie had a downer ending. and also, the power of determination and friendship and shit. terry's got his jaws around max's throat now. he's a millisecond away from tearing it open. tory's pinned under him but she thinks fast, frees a hind leg, and rips her claws down his soft underbelly as deep as she can and doesn't stop ripping, like pedal kicking almost for a human, but with her hind claws. his intestines shoot out like paper snakes from a gag candy can!! okay, well, maybe they don't shoot out w that much gusto, but still. the bowels are free, the bowels are hanging low and tory's tearing 'em tf up, fluids n fecal matter errywhere. on tory. i'm sorry tory. ur under him, that's just how gravity works.

terry dies. healing factor can't keep up with the damage done, it's too critical. but nobody knows it's terry until the dawn breaks and he reverts back to his human shape.

max is v much 'i told u so,' in billy's face. robby promises not to tell. he doesn't want to get mauled or killed or anything. tory's able to cope better with what she did to sam knowing that it won't happen again, that she won't hurt anyone else she doesn't want to be she can control herself now. tory believes in mercy now bc max spared her, she trashes kreese's philosophy and joins eagle fang when johnny and daniel join forces in this 'verse too. max also joins eagle fang, takes her place in the front row right between tory and lucas at her v first practice.

credits roll.

after the credits we see tory considering turning her mother in the hopes that having the healing factor would help her mom's condition improve.

is that a teaser for the sequel?

idfk.

#max mayfield #dare i tag tory #i dare not #lucdarling #ask box #my fic tag #i kind of want to write this as a fic for real #fuck

[mychemicalaromanticism]

things ive already established r on this post

besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri

okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.

so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.

i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.

anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.

anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.

he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao

to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.

so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.

OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.

and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.

when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.

i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.

back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.

she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.

cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.

they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.

i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.

welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz

post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3

not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him

THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk

#cat talks #lore #ok2rb but what a mess this post is