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#it's not all sunshine and roses
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Tamlin Week, Day 1: Spring
The Spring Court was a land of rolling green hills and lush forests and clear, bottomless lakes. Magic didn’t just abound in the bumps and hollows--it grew there.
~ A Court of Thorns and Roses, Sarah J. Maas
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g4yr4t · 1 month
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need people who don't get why I, a nonbinary person, wanted top surgery to understand that I am happier with my body than I have been since I can remember
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wonderpommey · 11 months
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Kendall doesn’t love Naomi, Shiv never loved Tom, Tom didn’t love Greg, Greg didn’t love Tom. Tom stopped loving Shiv. Connor doesn’t really love Willa (did he even notice her whole face has changed?), Willa doesn’t love Connor. Logan didn’t love his pew bench and most of his pew bench didn’t love him or didn’t have time to stop.
Roman though. 
Roman loves Gerri, Georgia always told us that and when she talks spinoff it’s Colin, Stewey or Roman & Gerri (and yes, RomanGerri wasn’t Jesse’s, it’s Georgia’s and Tony’s and J's and Kieran’s and Mark’s, but that’s enough!)
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From reading around, I think the finale brought home the depth of Roman’s  feelings from seeing him watch her on film reciting a maybe dirty maybe spiritual limerick and fall to the floor with it. He took from her, thinking he was entitled to ask her jump into bed or on that grenade. This spoilt little puppy prince who had never suffered a consequence. He attempted to climb his Everest, locked up in a cage. But as soon as he steps out of the cage at Logan’s funeral and abandons the poorly worn skin of whomever he was supposed to be for dad, and the reality of his feelings and his guilt and his shame hits, he realises he barely deserved to be at her feet. He’s a bruised, hollow prince who ‘knifed’ the only person who had real adult expectations of him (in every sense of the term - the scripts are part of my canon), for a throne he didn’t even want. How could you not break down at that??
And it morphs into a love that doesn’t need anything to feed the flame. No reciprocity, no touching, no comfort. Nothing transactional. It doesn’t even need to be spoken or told. It simply exists, in those jelly glass eye balls. He hasn’t earned it as it disappears behind screens and glass partitions where the adults are. She’s put her shoes back on and she’s walked out of his glass room.
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Consuming that love becomes the only thing he can do to feel its burn, to satisfy the craving. He won’t be able to give her slow pleasure or any of his fluids but he can partake in hers in some way. Smart people know what they are and God forbid he sullies anymore of her with the oozing blood at the seam big bag of bullshit that he is. But you better believe he can find a way to have her on his brain, his heart, his tongue, his bloodstream.
He steps out of the cage and bids farewell to the toxicity of denying his own heart, he goes from a cage where he could just take, in exchange for pretending to be someone - no consequences but the occasional beating son I promise, to a world where he’s himself, needy and broken, nothing of value to give. He breaks out but the realisation of having fucked his relationship with her is the price of admission into the real world of his real feelings.
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Oh she’d pick up the phone if he called, she’d meet him at the bar (I think he even knows that) but his superego, despite his hysterical cries about how good he looks and you can’t really see how broken he is and that it should be him, has acknowledged the fact that he doesn’t deserve her and wonders why she would take any interest in him if he was no longer this diamond in the rough? Can’t bear her eyes on him, if he’s just the nothing bullshit who fired her and lashed out at her. Which is ironic really because, being mad at Ken’s for his abuse, protecting Shiv, the clarity on his and all of their worth, staying and being the face of the humiliation, signing the deal. These are signs he’s morphing into something with grit, something worthy.
I think. Who knows. It’s day 1. They’re slow but it only lengthens the - excruciating - pleasure. It wasn’t a healthy, happy love story. It was a star crossed First Love meeting Last Love with all the unmatched expectations and maturity it entails, but only they knew it and a few of the people that watch. And really this was the most beautifully crafted thing I’ve ever seen on TV, the depths are almost out of reach. Romey-o Loves Gerri, it’s a feminist show and yes even the fact that Logan didn’t consider his grandkids his bloodline (and of course Roman would hate to have children and of course Shiv didn’t have time to tell him about her pregnancy). All these things are in the show and barely visible and thank god for that. 
And you can wonder why the hell he’s in a bar smiling and crying at his cocktail or you may prefer to read it as being only about his dad or only about his sibs or just the company if you can manage the connective tissue. But to me, yes of course, his last second on screen is him ingesting her in some way. I mean, OBVIOUSLY. It’s not because it wasn’t in your face, that it wasn’t the realest thing, the only true romance this show has indulged.
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greencreeker · 2 years
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I'm at the part of my healing journey where I'm juuuust starting to lose my high threshold for pain/discomfort. So things I was able to push back and ignore before now have a better chance of completely knocking me on my ass. I'm not into it, but super into what it means for me.
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fatedvagabond · 2 years
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man... i survived. i dont know when i'll get over this feeling but i have so many moments where i look around my new home and look at my friends and just feel this overwhelming feeling that's hard to describe. disbelief? i think it's disbelief
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sortanonymous · 2 months
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Yeah, I'm bored again.
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What can I say? They're my favorite.
#twdg#twdg clouis#clouis#twdg clementine#twdg louis#sometimes they creep back into my mind and i'm like 'ah yes' like a crow admiring a pretty stone they found years ago and kept#also thank you pi for the screenshots. i used to have a whole folder full of them but that was when i was doing themed nights#the source for these is me i just have a random document full of dynamics and ship things i enjoy because.....i dunno i like keeping track#and so many of them apply to clouis but there's also an overlap of with clouis and rose/alistair [my warden from origins and alistair] like#alistair's romance route is like an evolved matured and extended version of clouis sksksks gee i wonder if i have a type#look you present me with a character who deflects with humor and isn't taken seriously by the rest of the group and the longer you know the#the more you realize how high they've built a wall around themselves and how *unwell* they really are and how they're not as sunshine#as they present themselves and also they avoid leadership and responsibility until they grow closer with someone who pushes them#and they end stronger and more balanced as a person while finding the affection they've craved#and also there's the daddy issues#present me with that character as a romantic option and i'm in no questions asked okay i don't want the mean broody one that's meh to me#i want the one that has every reason to be broody but chooses not to be because they have a completely different defense mechanism#and a warped sense of themselves and self-esteem issues they leave unaddressed until forced to face them#i'm just saying i'm aware that i have a type i'm always going to gravitate toward clouis nearly checks all the boxes#also the lack of clouis these days? my crops are thirsty and i have too many ongoing projects to do anything about it other than this sksks#so until i make time to finish my long ass louis/clouis analysis this is the best i can provide for now
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HIIII!!!!!!!!
I LOVE your human au and would be delighted If you could expound on Wally's relationship with the cast and how he views/ is viewed by others <3
I hope you have a good day/ night whenever you are and I wish your pillow always be cold 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️
ofc! i've been thinking about it a lot!
i would like to begin by saying that, as with canon, everyone likes Wally. as they should! i think that's an Important tidbit that should always carry across, at least in some way
Wally is... i think it's also important that he's a kind person. he loves deeply, is very forgiving and accepting, and he's just. he's a bizarre little man, and he's wonderful! there is not a malicious bone in his body! he finds delight & beauty in everything he can. he looks at his friends and is filled with deep contentment and joy and love. he's not blind to their flaws (and certainly not his own), but he never minds. those flaws are part of his friends, and he loves every bit of them!
and ok. Wally is not nearly as naive in this au as he is in canon. bc he's had a different life! he's had a rough go of it! unfortunately there's next to no way for normal people to grow up completely innocent & naive & pure, yk? life is harsh. Wally is not spared. he's incredibly kind despite it all. he's still in love with life and humanity. he smiles at strangers in the street & stops to watch bees pollinate flowers & sees parts of his friends in everything. he has many intense feelings even if he doesn't really show it or know how to convey them! he believes in the inherent goodness of people & beauty of being human!
there is a... very wide range of how people (outside of the Neighbors) view Wally. a lot of people find him slightly unsettling and really fucking weird, and well. he is! he's strange, and it's a wonderful part of him! but many don't see it that way. so he was ostracized by his peers in school (all the way through college), his coworkers (the few times he held a job before becoming a full-time artist), and most people in his local community. they just don't get him. they don't See him. Wally doesn't mind all that much! all of the important people in his life accept and love him for who he is, and he wouldn't even think of changing to fit the mold others want to shove him into.
then of course there are the people who treat him like a child, bc ableism is a thing and Wally's very noticeably autistic (even if people only notice subconsciously). this i think would be one of the very few things that outright annoys Wally, even if he doesn't really show it. but then there's the people who, while they might not get him (especially not to the extent his friends do), they accept him. like much of the art community he's involved in - even if a lot of them completely misinterpret his personality / mannerisms. they're all like "ohhhh he's so mysterious and ruminant" that's the 'tism, babes
BUT! YOU ASKED ABOUT SPECIFICALLY HIM AND THE NEIGHBORS! we'll save Barnaby for last since that's. uh. i have a lot to say about it. it's Very Complex in my mind
collectively, all of them love Wally a lot. which i've said! We Know! they also (mostly subconsciously) look for his approval - he's got a certain level of charisma that makes them all want him to like them. which, he does. obviously. unconditionally. and they're all protective of him & very patient with him. i think that's both a result of his natural rizz, how kind & patient he is with them, how well they understand him, and how he's a pacifist. he's their guy and woe befall anyone who dares cross him. (essentially, all of them collectively: the only constant is suffering - omg Wally!!! 💖💖💖)
we'll start with Frank! before he got to know Wally, he thought that Wally was an aloof asshole who thought he was better than everyone. then they started to directly interact and Frank realized "oh you're literally the nicest person i've ever met & also surprisingly relatable. you're just like me fr'. did he have a lil crush on Wally? yes. im saying it now literally everyone in the friend group (except local lesbians poppy & sally) has had at least a teensy crush on Wally at some point. but Frank deeply appreciates Wally's company & his complete lack of judgement. and how he gladly will let Frank talk for hours on end, chiming in with questions to prompt him to talk more! he also appreciates Wally's calm demeanor and vibes. he's one of those people that even when overwhelmed, Frank can handle having Wally around. he's like a human capybara! if Frank needs/wants a buddy with him for Situations, his go-to (after Julie ofc, though depending on the situation he'd pick Wally first) is Wally, since Wally Gets It. also Wally is unafraid to be like "wow, this kinda sucks! we're leaving", thus giving Frank an easy out. they just get along very well! ofc Frank can get frustrated with Wally, but then again he gets frustrated w/ everyone. but since Wally is patient with him, Frank tries to return the favor. also he's gotten into several fistfights over Wally's honor
Julie! she loves Wally so fucking much! he's her lil guy! even if he's kinda boring in a way! he's not very good at games or sports & would rather go on a relaxing walk than play Just Dance, but hey! he always makes Attempts, and she appreciates that! when they were younger and Julie & Sally & Poppy had girls nights (they continue to have girls' nights but everyone is involved. they still call it that tho), they'd often include Wally bc, yk! he's chill like that! Julie also massively respects his ability to say "no thank you" to anything without compromise. if he ever says it to her, she knows that he doesn't mean Any ill will by it! there's a sort of comfort in that! she knows she can be herself around him! also he's just... very good company. he's a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, a willing victim & confidante for elaborate schemes! he visits her at work Purely because he knows it delights her to see a friendly face in the middle of a grueling shift! he's always been a bit of a lighthouse to her!
and while Sally can be a little exasperated with how literal Wally is, she finds no small amount of solidarity with him As A Fellow Artist. when they first became friends, they caught on like a house on fire! she mentioned the artistic side of theater, and Wally was immediately on board. then and going forward Wally is always willing and more than happy to assist with painting sets, art advertisements for her performances, etc! they have little brainstorming sessions where she rambles about what she wants sets / costumes to look like, and Wally sketches them out! since Sally was a theater kid and goes on to work in that department (locally, usually), Wally often gets first read of her scripts. Sally highly values Wally's opinion and input. if he's free, sometimes he helps teach the actors' the show choreography. Sally runs through it with him, Wally soaks up the moves like a sponge & memorizes them, and hey! he loves to teach! Sally just. she loves him a lot. they're both artists of a sophisticated nature <3
Howdy thinks Wally is real neat! Wally is good company and is (often unintentionally) hilarious! he's also like... the one person Howdy refuses to scam in any way shape or form. tricking grandmas into buying more than they need? no sweat. tricking Wally into spending slightly more money than intended? Howdy feels like a fucking monster. but yeah, Howdy's just always delighted to see Wally! he likes Wally's unique view of the world and often takes it into consideration when making decisions. when he's stuck on something, he thinks WWWD (what would Wally do!). Howdy also is the one who most often accompanies Wally to his art shows & the like, bc he knows that Wally will accept the first price offer he hears - and Howdy is determined that his incredible works of art are paid for their worth! nobody is gotta cheat his pal outta a single cent! he just likes having Wally around, you know?
Wally & Poppy have an interesting relationship, i think! he tells the cashier "she asked for no pickles" for her! she makes sure he always has a soft place to land! he kinda confuses her, but she finds it endearing in a way? he displays a personality/behavioral quirk and she's like "oh. well alright!" and rolls with it very gracefully. they appreciate each other's mellow demeanor and proclivity for peace. Poppy knows she can always have a nice, quiet conversation with him over tea (even if he doesn't drink it!). and he's always willing to help with anything and everything she needs, no question. i think i've made this joke on this blog before but! in way! he's her emotional support animal lmao. a hand to squeeze to death on an airplane! also it's funny for me to picture a 6'8 woman hunched behind this 5'2 shrimp of a man as if he can hide her
it takes a little bit for Eddie to adjust to Wally's bizarre nature! like i've said, Eddie connects with the group when they're all in their late 20s. he hasn't had over a decade of being friends with Wally like the rest of them. he likes Wally plenty! definitely grows to love him! but it's an adjustment. Wally consistently startles him very easily (Wally is naturally quiet and has a habit of appearing out of nowhere), and Eddie has a hard time getting a read on him. most people do! and also Wally is very handsome/pretty, and that throws Eddie off a bit (it's hard to think when someone so attractive is staring directly into your eyes without blinking) but once he gets somewhat used to Wally & understands as much as he can, he very much appreciates Wally's company & friendship! they find (somewhat subconscious) solidarity in being the kindest and most helpful people in the clique! and Wally is a wonderful island of peace in a turbulent world. Eddie never minds sitting with him for a cup of coffee in the early morning during his route, even if it means his workday ends a few minutes later than usual.
other supporting cast like Wally as well. Ms. Beagle kinda views him as a second son! the Joyful siblings will always find him a little weird and unsettling, but they're nice enough to him. Howdy's family thinks he's neat. etc! but lets talk about Barnaby!
Wally is literally everything to Barnaby. that's his person. there is literally no one that comes before Wally in his eyes and heart. their relationship is and always has been very nontraditional To Me (in this au and somewhat how i view them overall! its complicated!). Wally never subscribed to or understood societal norms, and as a result, Barnaby wound up pretty much shunning them as well when it comes to his lil buddy. their relationship isn't romantic - Wally is very aro and Barnaby just does not feel that way about him, not really. but at the same time it's certainly not entirely platonic!
neither of them can imagine being separated. they met in 7th grade and have been glued together ever since. they've been through some tough shit together! they know each other better than anyone! you cannot have one without the other! they're more than a package deal - they're Inseparable! Barnaby has had many a nightmare of Wally leaving in one way or another, and it scares him more than anything. to him, he can weather any storm as long as Wally is by his side. they obviously don't spend every moment together, but at the end of the day they always come home to each other.
Barnaby just... he loves and respects and values Wally so much. he wants his approval, his attention, his company. sometimes he scares himself by considering the lengths he'd go to for Wally. there is no one he's more comfortable with or feels he understands / is understood by. if somebody has a problem with Wally, they have a problem with Barnaby. if Wally jumped off a cliff, Barnaby would not hesitate to leap after him! Wally says jump, Barnaby asks how high! he's not a violent person at all, but teen Barnaby once broke a bully's jaw for goin' a little too far w/ Wally
is their relationship a smidge unhealthy? a lil codependent? yes <3 yes it is <3 but we all know that Wally would never use this against Barnaby. on his side of the coin, Barnaby is his person as well! Wally has never imagined his life without Barnaby because it just does not occur to him that that's a possibility. there are many things that only Barnaby knows about Wally, sides only he's seen. there's complete & unconditional trust/love between them. they hotbox Home together <3
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taikanyohou · 2 years
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TEAM + WIN | Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) / Between Us (2022). VEGAS + PETE | KinnPorsche (2022).
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notesonartistry · 2 years
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I love the end of the Anti-Hero video where all the Taylor's are just hanging out - co-existing together and accepting each other.
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kittysauces · 11 months
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Ok but LadyNoir is still alive TO ME
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miss-mossball · 2 months
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Hydrated, loved, cherished, resting
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peaches2217 · 3 months
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Aaaaaaaaah I’m SO happy at my new job so far! The park director loaded me up in her truck at one point and took an hour to just drive around and show me all of the nooks and crannies of the park, all the campsites, the trails, etc. I saw an owl taking up residence in an oversized birdhouse, and on the drive back up to the office, an adult bald eagle flew right over us! It was incredible.
The hours are gonna be a lot more consistent too! The park office is only open eight hours so I’ll be working open to close every day I work. Which means I have to learn to get to sleep earlier and stay asleep longer because I’ll now be having to get up at 6:30 every morning… 😭 But for everything I experienced today, and the promise of getting to do and learn even more? Worth it. SO worth it.
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slayladia · 23 days
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Binghamton Riot - AFTG animatic
Song: Alley Rose by Conan Gray
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nerves-nebula · 8 months
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have i been using the term escapism wrong? i was not under the impression that something had to be happy and wholly fantastical to be called escapism. to me indulging in escapism is when ppl are yelling the car and i can't leave so i turn up my music and focus on making a bloody angsty animatic in my head. or when im having a bad day so i lay in bed reading abuse fanfic to make myself feel better. like im escaping to a world where things are fun for me and, crucially, aren't real and stressful.
like its distraction and relief from present distress, right?? that doesn't say anything about HOW you distract yourself or what genre you're reading. am i wrong?
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rosefinnigen · 5 months
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Wow id sniff your ass 😍
Wow I hate you 😍 kind of wish your organs would strangle you from the inside actually
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