#it's still lonely though not because i can't i dont like doing stuff on my own like this but because

[plantanarchy]

today I wrote a sonnet and cooked eggs from my own chickens and picked ripe tomatoes to share and bought bulk spices at the indian market and got fancy cheese at trader joes and had a hot fudge milkshake while walking a local prairie project in full bloom and visited a trial/demonstration garden and blasted the new hozier and mountain goats on roads i've never been on and bought a wish list cactus and mowed my yard and and

#well sometimes things are just ok #it's still lonely though not because i can't i dont like doing stuff on my own like this but because #well as a poet once said so much of the living is the being unknown

[doofus-and-dragons]

This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.

TMA S5 Spoilers ahead

The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss

I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho

The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN

REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.

At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!

Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)

Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?

Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.

Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.

Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.

"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"

The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.

SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE

I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that

Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.

Martin: Something something "one of you"

Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."

Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands

He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him

I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)

They deserve nice things.

Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role

The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists

"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin

Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD

SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!

The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat

Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.

NO JON THE PLAN

Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.

I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.

Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming

JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL

I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting

THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH

They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind

#basira hussain #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #mag 200 #tma s5 #tma s5 spoilers #melanie king #georgie #their cult ig #mikaele salesa #alice daisy tonner #jonmartin #somewhere else #annabelle cane

[beanghostprincess]

Thinking about the “Usopp loves Darkwing Duck and Sanji loves Card Captor Sakura” thing from ages ago and now I’m imagining them going trough the hardest challenge a weeabo and a western animation geek can go trough: moving in together.

All the merchandise, the prints, the commissions they gave years ago and the buttons from various cons, it’s an actual nightmare for both of them to somehow try and find space for everything. Sanji hates Funko Pops with a passion, Usopp loves them. Sanji has a giant body pillow of some random anime girl and Usopp feels inadequate. The biggest issue however arrives when they try and decide where Sanjis collection of ero figurines is supposed to go. Sorry not sorry but you KNOW he has some of them. It’s actually not as bad as Usopp expected at first but it’s still a challenge to find a place for them because Usopp does NOT want them in the bedroom like Sanji used to have in his bachelor pad

They actually get into a heated argument at one point while they are running on coffee and lack of sleep. “OH YES IT WAS SOOOOO IMPORTANT TO YOU TO HAVE A SPACE FOR YOUR CRAFTS BUT NOOOO DONT LET YOUR BOYFRIEND HAVE SPACE FOR HIS STUFF AT ALL!” “FUNNY YOU SAY THAT, BECAUSE IM NOT THE ONE FLIPPING OUT BECAUSE I JUST NEED MY BIG TITTED CATGIRL FIGURINE TO LUST OVER IN THE HALLWAY FOR EVERYONE TO SEE!” “*GASP* DONT TALK ABOUT HIBIKI-CHAN LIKE THAT!!”

They don’t talk to each other for what feels like ages (Twi hours maximum) and they finally make up when the guilt gets too much. They both compromise on each selling a few of the things they aren’t as invested in, Sanji agrees to move a few of his more risqué figures to a space where he gets to see them but they can easily be hidden if visitors come over, some of the more decent ones like the pinup one of a lady in the bathtub actually are tame enough to be put in a more open spot even Usopp has to admit (plus her sitting on the bathroom shelf surrounded by both of their soaps and haircare products looks quite cute actually). Usopp keeps most of the Funkos on his work desk at Sanjis request. It’s the nerdiest home ever with some clashing aesthetics but they make it work trough the power of love and because both of them are creative people who can incorporate that into their home space.

… also Usopp has started a game where he will just randomly replace his boyfriends figurines and wait for his boyfriend to notice. Like elf on the shelf but more elaborate and with anime or cartoon figurines. Currently Sakura is being carried away by a bunch of Pikmins in the shoe closet. Sanji has noticed she’s gone but hasn’t said anything because that’s not how the game works. He’s supposed to find her and then yell “GODDAMNIT SAKURA!” Before carrying her back to her spot…. He’s already planning his move though and has decided he’s gonna try and put Grunkle Stan in a glass of water in the freezer with a single lone ice Pikmin guarding him.

This is the realest, most accurate thing in the whole world. They'd move in together but they'd be a mess. They have... Very different tastes when it comes to games/shows and they obviously can't decide what to do with the space they have.

But! They also have things in common. The thing is... They like the content in different ways.

Usopp has a huge Alphonse figure. Beautiful. Next to his Gurren Lagann figurines and so, so many robots. So many mechas. He has the three Gravity Falls diaries. All the Ducktales comics. Darkwing Duck was just the start because he's also a huge DC fan and has so much Batman merch. He's got this extremely awesome replica of Junpei's sword from P3. Everything is high quality and he's very, very careful with his merch. He has his own fanarts in a sketchbook and nobody is allowed to touch his games and his consoles. From Play Station to all types of Nintendos. He has so many damn Funko Pops of everything. Typical "For the last time, Sanji, I keep them inside the box because the box is also part of the merch what aren't you understanding-". Not to mention that he's a huge Lord of The Rings fan and he definitely plays D&D and he's also a botanist so you can only imagine how their house looks like-- So many plants-- Forest aesthetic. Except their front door that looks exactly like the Tardis because Usopp was dying to do that ever since he was a kid, and when he showed Sanji the show he fell in love with it and let him do it.

Sanji likes the same stuff but he has a very explicit Lust figure. Next to his adorable Nia and Yoko figurines and so so so so so many cute simple merch. Like keychains and stickers. I am 100% sure Sanji has Gravity Falls pajamas and Ducktales too that nobody but Usopp knows about. I think one of the only man figurines he has is a Starlord one and maybe Shazam merch, but he's more of a Superman type of guy. He saw Lois Lane and fell in love with her instantly. He has a Mitsuru figurine riding her bike and one of Chidori and Junpei he doesn't let anybody touch. That's precious to him. He asks Usopp to draw him stuff and that's why Usopp is always late to his commissions because his boyfriend suddenly wants to be drawn next to Senshi cooking. Sanji doesn't like Funkos but he does like Nendoroids and Usopp hates it because they're so fucking expensive and Sanji is always crying in the background ("But- But-" / "Sanji, we've talked about this-" / "But this little Miku is so cute!"). Sanji also plays videogames but he's more of an Animal Crossing/Cooking Mama/Stardew Valley type of guy. So many Dating Sims, too. Also the Sims, he loves that.

Their bookshelf is a mix between shoujos and so so many shonens but mostly cooking books and artbooks. So many DC comics too. I feel like both of them prefer DC tbh, Usopp is just Batman and Sanji likes Superman and instead of fighting about it they just admit they're really gay for each other. They do watch Marvel movies, though. Sanji really, really, really likes Spider-man and it's funny because he has arachnophobia and he cannot watch the damn movies without shaking when a spider shows up-- Usopp has Miles' jacket and Nikes I am so so sure. While Sanji probably has a Gwen poster in his room.

They argue a lot when it comes to how to use the space they have but!! Sometimes Sanji walks out of their room to make breakfast with Usopp's Batman t-shirt. And sometimes Usopp uses Sanji's Kero themed hair ties to tie his hair. And... They wouldn't change that for anything in the world.

They're also the type to watch/play anything together and go "Hey they're just like us fr" so now they have their house full of ship merch because those ships remind them of them,,, Those are the true romantic gestures.

Edit: Forgot to say Sanji has all of Taylor Swift's CDs and Vinyls and he's a very intense swiftie that makes Usopp wake up at ungodly hours to hear the new albums, while Usopp is like "I guess she's okay??? She's alright idk" because he literally only listens to movie/game soundtracks, indie shit and Cavetown. They both listen to Vocaloid though that is true. I was there. Project Sekai players that's what they are (Sanji does it for the cute girls but ends up staying because the characters are a bit too relatable and Usopp just really likes rhythm games)

#okay but i want to live in their house :( #i was projecting the whole time lmao i love all of this i want to live there let me in let me in #modern sanuso is my fav thing they wouldn't stop arguing about these things #everyone in sanji's restaurant: omg he's so mysterious and cool the chef is so cute i am sure he's got a very nice place #sanji when he comes back home: MY DEAREST LOOK I BOUGHT THIS 7000€ HATSUNE MIKU OFFICIAL FIGURINE NOW WE WON'T EAT FOR A WEEK BUT IT'S OKAY #i wholeheartedly believe he cannot be trusted around money when it comes to fictional pretty girls #usopp is the same bc you give him the chance to buy an official artbook and he spends all of his money on that #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso

[kiindr]

Hey I wanted to just kinda share my success story here because I think it's important for people to hear

Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts, self harm, eating disorder, being young, mild sexual harassment, anti-depressants, anxiety meds, and sedatives, toxic relationships ('romantic' but it was petty and short, so I'd say mostly friendships), and talking about therapy and mental hospitals.

- Just turned 15 recently (Present)

*FIRST YEAR*

- Was 11, in 6th grade, when covid hit hard

- Sister has mild disability in her legs so my family was extremely extremely cautious to not catch the 19 because viruses trigger it

- At this time my thoughts were as follows:

"Emotions make me weak"

"Crying is a sign that I'm not strong and confident"

"If I can just get rid of these god damn emotions I can manipulate and gaslight my way through life and be successful"

- I was so desperate for attention I would seek out negative attention. And not sexual negative attention or doing weird stuff... I mean I would sit in gaming chat rooms and tell people to insult me for hours.

- I didn't know crap about mental health at the time

*SECOND YEAR*

7th grade. 13. My lowest. God, so fucking low.

- Still desperately sought out negative attention. I was the weird girl and the pick-me girl in one. I was convinced that if I just brushed off every insult and wrongdoing to me, I'd be "chill" and "fun"

- Hang out with people that used me as entertainment when they were bored, yelling at me and degrading me and insulting me and the worst part is that I LIKED it because I was just so damn lonely

- Started dating some boy. He was 12 I was 13. We never really talked to each other. We were making out before he ever said he wanted to be my boyfriend.

- Soon he was pushy, and disgusting. He would dry hump me, rut against me, spit into my mouth, squeeze my throat...

- And I never said no. Because I was so scared of losing what I had convinced myself was someone who actually loved me.

- But when I tried to 'lightheartedly' protest, or struggle or try to get out of his grip, he would grab me and pin me down and no matter how much I tried to escape he would just force me not to move and he didn't ever actually penetrate me but dear lord that horny ass 12 year old boy had boners more often than not. I didn't tell anyone bc I was scared that they'd be mad that I didn't tell them sooner.

- Also went through a huge identity crisis. It wasn't because I was trans, it was because I wasn't allowing myself to be me so I didn't feel like ME and so I turned to the easy thing. At one point I was "Demiaro pan genderfluid trigender"... I'm just a cis lesbian though.

- My thoughts at this time are as follows:

"Oh."

"I don't care."

"Eh"

"It is what it is"

"I want to sleep"

"I wish I was sleeping right now"

"I can't be here, I have to go"

*SECOND PART OF SECOND YEAR, WORST TIME OF MY LIFE*

- I hate my body. I dont eat all day long. I don't eat lunch at school and told my friends I prefer to eat at home and at home told them the opposite.

- I can't take it one day and I cut myself with a dull old xacto knife.

-It's addictive. I've been punching myself for ages, but cutting is completely different. It made me feel like everything would be okay... for a few seconds... and then I'd look down and all there would be is blood and a rusty blade and a mark that will never be erased.

- I begin to feel suicidal. I think about how much easier it would be to just not exist. I sleep 24/7 so I dont have to be conscious

- I begin to throw up all my food to try to be skinnier

- I progress, I'm fantasizing about killing myself and I'm writing out 3rd person blurbs of me doing it. I drew it too. It was all that consumed my thoughts. It wasn't long until I couldnt trust myself at all to be alone for a minute.

- Living is just so hard. I couldn't describe it then, and I can't describe it now. There are simply no words that will begin to encompass the sheer delusional, wrenching, miserable agony of what that low low feels like. I am positively amazed at 13 year old me for every day she woke up and lived.

- Im missing 1-2 days of school every week. My grades drop, hard

- We try a new anxiety med with my therapist that is known to potentially cause suicidal thoughts. I see it as my chance

- In a month my parents are checking in with me, making sure I don't feel suicidal

- I kindly inform them that I, in fact, am. Very.

- I sleep in their bed at night. I silently get in and we turn the lights out and we all silently cry ourselves to sleep every night.

- I come foward about everything

- We switch meds, I'm getting treated for not OCD but now depression and the likes

- The biggest thing in my life was recovering. Every day I worked SO fucking hard to recover. Every time I opened my eyes in the morning, or put on clean clothes or went to school or took a shower or said hello to someone or finished my homework or ate something was a MASSIVE battle. It was so tiring. I was SO tired.

*THIRD YEAR*

- Over the summer, I'm able to continue to work on myself without worrying about school, it helps a ton.

-Come the school year I'm 6 months free of self harm, no longer suicidal, and eating healthy and balanced meals. I'm into fitness, as running became my coping mechanism for self harm urges (Because running is horrible 💀). I'm going to school almost all days and I'm dropping friends that were bad for me and open myself to new friends.

- It's still hard, I still struggle with my OCD and severe social anxiety, but the depression is so so much better.

- My birthday comes. I'm turning 14. It was so amazing... I was excited for it.

I was EXCITED FOR IT.

I CARED.

I was excited to see my family and I was excited to have a yummy dinner and I was excited to open Presents! I didn't feel like a burden or like gifts for me was a waste of money and my party a waste of time.

This happens at Christmas too. It's so hopeful for me.

- I dunk back into depression towards the end of the school year but resurface a few weeks into summer even better

- We take month long vacation where me and my lil sis have full access to the city and everything while my parents work in our camper. This was so impactful on my social anxiety. I was empowered by my independence.

*NOW*

- I've learned to set boundaries

- I have a healthy friend group with wonderful communication

- I feel HAPPY at least once every day (!) and I let myself cry and it feels so good to let it out and I let myself be sad or angry or dissapointed

- Im not afraid to ask for what I need (Okay well I'm afraid but I've learned to cope with that fear and do it anyway). People like me BETTER when I just ASK for water when I'm thirsty, or I just ask if I'm allowed to use their TV, or I just ask for some milk because Asian food is too powerful for me (😔).

- I have learned how to NOT give advice and just listen. I can hear someone's problems and not want to fix them.

- I have learned what I can and cannot control

So, in summary, I was just in the PITS and I am in awe of myself for my recovery but I am BETTER now. I feel GOOD.

The biggest piece of advice I have to anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts is to think about how PROUD future you will be of you for every day you hold on. Future you will try to give you hugs and comfort and they cant... not until you reach them. Future you is watching from above and sees your path to recovery but in the thick of it you can't see it. Future you is counting on you. Don't let them down. Just, hold on. They deserve a chance right?

(I'm sure this is littered with typos so I'm sorry about that, I don't have the energy to check right now, it's kinda late and I have to get up early)

♡

i love this!

i am so proud of you!

<3

#ask #recovery story #mental health #mental health awareness #mental health support #mental health reminders #coping #reminders #therapy #positivity #kindness #wellness

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

🍷 Do you drink and write?

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

💖 What made you start writing?

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

🤯 What's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc.)?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

💥 How do you feel about criticism?

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

sorry about all of them dszjhgaier you don't have to answer all of 'em!

KDJFKSDJFKDJ WHY LMAO

decided to single-handedly complete this ask game 😭

💖🏆🦅 have been answered here!

i'd link the "send me more asks" thing but i think all the questions have now been answered ksjdflsdkjf

✨ give you and your writing a compliment. go on now. you know you deserve it 😉

ehhhhhh i can write emotions well?? mostly with angst i think, like the chaotic thoughts and physical sensations that happen during angsty scenes IDK I'M NOT GOOD AT AFFIRMING MYSELF ;-;

🎶 do you listen to music while you write? what song have you been playing on loop lately?

depends on my focus level! for a while i had @chaotic-on-main generate a fluff playlist for me as i was writing the cuter parts of matcha. sometimes if i'm angsty i'll listen to music. a recent listen has been this:

🛠 what tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

i used zenwriter for a while! but now i've just moved onto using google docs because adhd makes it so that i can't get myself to write if i dedicate my night to writing, but i can get myself to start writing if i'm doing it while gaming 👁️👄👁️

⛔ do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

SO MANY MY GOD i have a canonverse one for aot that was the first thing i wrote, but i scrapped it because i was eh about the story and characterization. i published some excerpts but the actual fic is just kinda sitting in my folder all lonely

🙋‍♀️ do any irl people know you write fanfic?

some do! i've kinda realized that fanfic is like the Thing™ that i do. what do i do on weekends when i'm letting off steam? i write. it's like the one area where i dont rly feel like an imposter if that makes sense??? anyways i say i like writing and if they ask i will say fanfiction lol. there are definitely some irls i'm more willing to share to than others though

🍦 what's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

hmmm including unpublished? honestly probably still matcha because it's like a modern au and isn't surrounded by death and angst like most of my fics are skdjfksjdf

🍷 do you drink and write?

hmmm i dont think i've written after drinking, but definitely after smoking!

🍆 do you write the spicy stuffs? if so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

OH YOU BET, although reminder of the fun fact that i did NOT intend to publish smut at ALL when i first revived this blog and now look where i am dkflsdkjf i have a bunch of short drabbles that have gained traction because we're all horny with short attention spans djjksjfks if we're strictly talking about oneshots, i think it would be this one if we're including longer drabbles, i'd say this one

🌞 do you have a preferred time of day to write?

ehhh, writing at night is most convenient? i'll do it whenever the writing juices hit tho. i do like writing late into the night (like 12am-3am) because i can focus the best, but i can't stay up that late most nights u.u

💌 how do you feel about comments and feedback?

i love comments! feedback less so. do not provide unless i ask. any improvements in writing style will come from me. providing unsolicited feedback is one of the fastest way to getting blocked. i'm already disengaging from conversations regarding word count or use of y/n, so this entire topic makes me all skdfjkdsjf even if it doesn't directly involve my writing

💲 would you ever open commissions?

ehhhh if people are ever willing to pay? i feel like fanfic is just so available everywhere that people aren't really willing to pay for it? i've opened up tips a few years ago and nothing happened so i'm just eh about it

🎨 how do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I WOULD LOVE IT but do not expect it lol

🤗 what advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

write to your heart's content and if anyone shames you for being cringey, having a mary sue oc/reader, writing ooc or whatever, i would gladly unkindly tell them to fuck off for you 💕 but honestly, just write! you'll form your own style and process and it's the most organic way to begin writing. it'll teach you to write and pour your soul into it for YOU and not because you're trying to live up to anyone's expectations

😬 which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

OH MY GOD i wrote a mini-fic for WoW and it's literally in a folder in my google docs titled "things we can forget that exist"

📚 would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

eh. publishing it means opening it up for critique and having tangible expectations. so probably not.

⌛ how long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

depends on the adhd gremlin. can range from 1-2 hours all the way up to like 3 weeks or a few months for the oneshots i keep forgetting about ksdjfksdjf

🤯 what's a genre you struggle with as a writer (ex. romance, action, etc)?

hmm...maybe action? i love writing battle scenes, but idk if they're written well enough for someone that's freshly reading to know what the fuck is going on lol

💔 is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

anything on my angst list makes me want to cry or resulted from me crying LMAO there is a hurt/comfort one that i wrote on a topic i struggle with a lot and will occasionally summon the feels when i reread it but it ends happy sooooo

💥 how do you feel about criticism?

refer back to what i said about getting feedback. do not provide unless i ask. if i know you, i'll ask you to stop. if i do not know you, then you will be blocked.

🤭 do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

i think i use "pls i need him so bad" a lot LMAO because anything i produce quickly is motivated by me desperately needing the affection of levi ackerman and his cock

🥰 how do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

i love questions! i love it when people are screaming in the comments over cliffhangers! or even some that DM me with reactions and i'm just like 🤭 the entire time

#my god this was long LMAO #cw: weed #ask games #moots #moots.minx #kat chats

[creativebrainrot]

6 for pre-relationship, 7/8/9 for love, and 4 for domestic life for gwinnie/trahearne and/or louis/pyrs? (whichever you think fits them best, or double up on questions :D)

yeayeawooyeawoowoyea TWO OF THEM!!! tyvm for the ask dot!! <3

(SORRY IT TOOK AWHILE ACK)

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

Louis & Pyrs

Louis would be somewhat skeptical I think, but he's a very romantic person, so he'd probably welcome it after thinking it over. (he'd also be excited, he's always been attracted to Sylvari and their culture. )

Pyrs would believe you immediately; he heard Louis' voice in his Dream before waking. He didnt recognize it until he met Louis. His Wyld Hunt was vague and basically just "join the vigil, do stuff."

(Pyrs' Wyld Hunt & relationship to Louis is actually my little excuse to have a Soulmates story goin on :> i love soulmate AUs and fic tropes tbh)

Maelgwyn & Trahearne

Trahearne would not believe you. He's been in "true love" once, dated a bit awhile after, then Dragons Happened. So he both did not have time for it, and didn't want to grapple with the bundle of emotions he had to unpack because of wanting love in such a turbulent time. The general feelings of guilt for wanting some normalcy during a fight for your very own world. It felt selfish. (he would want to believe you though. he was pretty lonely for a long time, before gwyn.)

Maelgwyn would tell you to fuck off- he abandoned any ideas of soulmates a long while ago; when Jasmeen left, despite their parting being amicable. It would just hurt to hear that.

LOVE

7. What are their favorite things to do together?

Louis & Pyrs

DEFINITELY cute cafe or library dates. These two just adore being together. Eachother's company is all they really want, so they LOVE dates in places where they can just concentrate on eachother. If they can't go out, they love to just laze about together in bed or the window reading nook Louis adores.

Maelgwyn & Trahearne

Sparring together. (with zero homoerotic undertones) bounty hunting together. (also in a very not gay way swearsies) I'm just obsessed with the idea of these two being "battle boyfriends." They love fighting alongside eachother. They still go out to Gwyn's favorite secret oasis, just to relax together as well.

And, completely sincerely, sex. It's more than just physical satisfaction for the both of them.

8. Who’s better at comforting the other?

Louis & Pyrs

These two are VERY good at comforting eachother, but Louis worries more often, and Pyrs knows exactly what to say or do to help him calm down.

Maelgwyn & Trahearne

Trahearne is. He's very very skilled at reading Gwyn, meaning he can help him calm down even when he's unable to tell Trahearne what's wrong.

9. Who’s more protective?

Louis & Pyrs

Pyrs by a longshot. Louis' version of 'protective' used to be 'if it has to be one of us ill make sure its me' until Trahearne noticed during lws3, telling him to knock it off before he Actually got himself killed because of that habit. (In a much kinder, Trahearne-way.)

Pyrs however is classic protective, much more like "dont hurt yourself," "take care of yourself," "be careful love," kinda way. He acts in a very defensive role when they fight side by side.

Maelgwyn & Trahearne

Maelgwyn. With possessive seasonings. He's threatened more than one syndicate member stupid enough to threaten Trahearne's life to him. In a battle he will not let anyone get a hit in on Trahearne. Gwyn's the kind of protective boyfriend to "vet" people who need to talk to Trahearne (he has an excuse for this because he IS still Trahearne's bodyguard. he's been enabled in that particular setting. Even with trahearne being like "i love u so very much but you Can, in fact, relax for 2 mins babe.")

DOMESTIC LIFE

4. Do they have any pets?

Louis & Pyrs

Two kitties! They've had them since a few months after Primordus and Jormag's fall. They're still with them at Aurene's temple. Sugyn sometimes babysits them when she visits.

Maelgwyn & Trahearne

If you count ranger companions as domestic pets, then with Trahearne's cats they have like. 6 pets. Gwyn's tiger Paola, his griffon Glenn, his raptor Cricket, and Trahearne's cats.

#thanks so much for the ask dot!! :D #thewordboxresponse #ocposting #trahearne #oc: maelgwyn (he/any) #oc: louis ebonpromise (he/him) #oc: pyrs (he/him) #gw2 ocs

[malulurivers]

Who is your favorite tears of the kingdom character?

hey now~~~

that's a big old question you're asking there!

that's a really hard one to answer!

with so many options, an argument could be made for all of them.

how i adore link even if i scold him for constantly doing things i dont ask him to how i yearn for zelda and cherish every moment with sidon how i long to know more about yona to the point of planning fics to detail more of her life and history how i beg the game to give me more of tauro and plan to write things for him too to sate my curiosity and as a fellow linguist how could i not love him too?

with so many options, could there ever be a wrong answer?

...yes, yes there could be--

my favourite character is obviously master kohga.

is he the best written character in the game? no.

do i endorse his behaviour or want to be friends with him? absolutely not.

do i want to be part of his clan? see above.

do i write for him? no.

but does his theme go the hardest? ABSOLUTELY

is he a riot to see on screen? ABSOLUTELY

is he a trash man? ABSOLUTELY HE IS!

ok, all jokes aside, i'm not in love with kohga (i have a soft spot for tragic men, not pathetic men unless it's reigen, who is the most pathetic man to ever pathetic and of course i adore him). but he is my favourite from the totk roster. or at least, my emotional favourite.

there's something just so fun about him. he's so stupid, so incompetent and yet still so successful somehow that i just find him hilarious.

he's not very multilayered, and though i think there's stuff to be discussed about how the yiga operate, how they're effectively a cult and how it makes sense that they're there, and how they affect the world around them... there's not much i want to discuss about him, actually.

normally this is something i don't like in a character, he lacks depth, that's not very compelling. but when he's on screen, when his soundtrack goes (and it goes hard) it's impossible to not get hyped and just have a banging time. also his fights were just so fun, so ridiculous!

he really provides levity to tone too, especially in the depths where it's actually quite lonely down there (kudos to the sound developers especially for that one!). i can't tell you how special the weird euphoria felt when i finally saw movement in the depths (which is just an innately hostile environment no matter how strong you are) and it was his dumb ass.

i was genuinely laughing but also very sad when (mild spoilers for later game:) he basically shot himself into the sky because that was probably going to be the last time i would see him. to be fair, i haven't finished the story yet so i still have a sliver of hope.

i think he's a bit of a hidden gem of the game, and i'm still cross with nintendo not giving him any voiced lines and cutscenes like with other characters. his va from age of calamity gave it his all and absolutely made this character fantastic to me, and he would've gone to town with these scenes! a massive missed opportunity!

i have more i could say but i think i would have to explain my opinions on tears of the kingdom as a game, and that would get really long as i have many many opinions on it. somewhat mixed opinions, and that's not the vibe for right now!

tldr: in terms of favourite character, in one way it's master kohga lmAo

in terms of 'favourite to talk about/write about' it is probably link, by virtue of spending so much time with him in game. though i genuinely like pretty much all the characters to a very similar level!

i don't really have a standout character that i'm attached to like i do with arcane, and i'm... not really sure why? i mean, i do have some ideas but i'm not sure exactly. it's probably more of an arcane thing though rather on the totk end XD

anywho, thank you for the question anon! i had a lot of fun thinking about it and trying to work out my answers because i genuinely hadn’t thought about it before! i hope your curiosity is sated XD

#i went overboard with this oops #anyways that skit at the start is still true #there are so many characters in this game so it really is hard to choose a favourite #and what i said about yona and tauro #*especially true* #one day ill get my totk opinions off my chest i think #i just feel a lot of it will be a tad unpopular #and i dont want people to get the wrong idea #bc i really do not hate the game or the characters or anything like that #i mean i have sO many hours in it for a reason XD #aboutmalu

[weebsinstash]

Advice: Go do something else and forget about the guy. If you dont want to block him immediately, just stop answering. Just remove yourself from this situation for a bit, because the guy definetly does feels sketchy af. Ignore the messages.

I relate on the being scared of upsetting people, but sometimes it is essential for our own safety. It is okay if you do something for your own protection, ESPECIALLY if we are talking about literal strangers on the internet that have no bearing in your personal real life. He is not even a stranger you met in person, just a random dude sending messages. Even if you block him and he gets upset, that is okay. You are doing it for yourself and THAT IS OKAY.

Sometimes upsetting people is okay because youre removing yourself from an uncomfortable situation they put you in, and you did what was best for you and your feelings. That is self care too. Go do something else and cool your mind off, a sketchy stranger on the internet is literally not entitled to your time, especially if he is causing bad feelings and anxieties to arise.

Yeah, I think what I will do is I will somehow end the conversation on a good note and then whenever I buckle up the courage I can hopefully block him from there? I still feel guilty though. There are also more red flags popping up such as him being unemployed and saying he's trading which, either means stocks or cryptocoin and obviously one of those is better than the other. And he's asking questions about my job in terms of pay and hours and it almost strikes me as he's either trying to figure out where to apply or that maybe he doesn't really know how some jobs work. Idk. Maybe he's lost and lonely in life and he just needs a friend. Either way, I need to step back for now. Even if he said stuff about being friends thst was after he had already asked for my picture (i sent him one of me at a reptile expo wearing a mask which. Pause can we talk about me being so fucking stupid as to do that. "Oh he's kind of strange and I literally don't know him and I don't want to show him my face but I don't want to be rude by not showing him anything at all" bitch how are you still fucking alive. How. How. Bitch how.) Still said I was cute despite not being able to see much of my face and wanted my phone number. So. Yeah. Even if he's being nice and talking about video games I can't shake the feeling "wait dude you kind of just popped out of the bushes like you wanted my nudes or something and I had to kind of explain to you how you were being weird as fuck before you stopped being pushy"

Anywaus next time on "Is Miranda a Fucking Idiot or Critically Mentally Ill" i take a walk through the woods with Michael Myers himself because my anxiety tells me it's rude to decline his invitation for a secluded evening stroll and I wouldn't want to hurt the serial killer's feelings

[lesbian-janecrocker]

This fic is based off of my no suburb AU in which the beta and alpha kids never play suburb and neither do the trolls I haven't come up with a way they meet each other yet but I might make it involve Bec Jades dog?? ALSO HUGE TW FOR R@PE/CHILD NEGLECT/ S3LF H@RM AND DYING SO PLEASE OF U CANT HANDLE THAT STUFF DONT READ / DONT INTERACT!! thx xoxo ;3

//////////

Your name is Jade Harley today is April 13 2009 and today was supposed to be a very special day but the days almost over the sun is setting and your dreams lied, you can't help but cry to know that everything all those years of day dreaming for this day the day you could start your life wasn't real it was all in your head it was never real and it lied and it hurts you just lie on your bed crying for hours you've lost all hope and your lost now thao day was supposed to be the end of this lonely hell but it will never end because it has just begun, your dog Bec comforts you as you cry your eyes out, you pet Bec as he licks your face, you know there's no reason to get up Dave will never text you and neither will John it's his birthday of course so he couldn't care any less, all of your thoughts rush through your head you now will never be able to tell Dave and Rose how you feel the way you would die for human contact to touch someone else you couldn't care if they where hurting you or hell even using you for pleasure as long as someone was there you didn't care anymore you had lost everything and now there's nothing left there is no point in anything now your always going to be stuck on this god forsaken island no, this hell.

//////////

Your name is Dave Strider and it jus so happens the 13 of April 2009 is your friend John's birthday, your surprised Jade hasn't texted you John and you talked earlier about how you where both going to play some stupid game you would have probably thrown out your own window, but your brother is coming home soon so you have to get to bed soon even though it's only 4:00 in your mind if your asleep he can't do anything to you the worst he could do was just to watch you sleep and get aroused but what else could he do.. right? God your so tired of being scared of him he's your fucking brother who you can't even trust because all he does is touches you Jesus Christ.. your brother is home now ( you hear the door unlock ) oh god ( you climb into bed pretending to be asleep ) ... Dave..? You don't have to hide from me come on! It's not like I would hurt you.. ( f- fuck no he's looking for you he's gonna rape you again you know that all you can do is hide all of a sudden tears start to form in your eyes as you hear your brother open the door reaching for the blood stained blanket from previous sessions..) / Soon after the session / ( oh my god why me why again I feel so sick I just wanna vomit when he touches me I can't do this I can't I can't I can't I can't I don't feel safe here i- i-m so tired I don't wanna be here I hope I just die I don't wanna wake up tomorrow I can't do this I can't live here it hurts so much I can't walk now. Great. )

//////////

Your name is Rose lalonde and today 4/13/09

Is your friend John's birthday who seems to have forgotten to open your gift or at latest tell you about it.. and your other friends won't text you either and you've been trying to text Dave for the past hour now he still won't respond you supposed it's something with his strange brother who in your opinion seems like some what of a pedophile but what can you say you only know what Dave tells you and he doesn't say much when it comes to his brother! It's getting late now and you have to go find your mother.. ( you walk down stairs smelling a strong scent of alcohol and cigarettes ) m-mom- sorry mother.. RoseeeEe.. heh have you uh heard anything from your uhh what's his name um John.? Like I would carreee. God just go to bed.. B- but mother I haven't eaten yet.. So? Just god I don't need this right now just go.. FINE you say getting rather pissed at your mother you head up stairs tail between your legs now you truly understand why dad left.

//////////

Your name is John Egbert and today is your 13th birthday and you where supposed to play some stupid game with your friends but it's stupid like Dave said so there's no point in playing it.. but for some reason some one keeps messaging you?

CG). HEY FUCK ASS UH IM GOD AND IM TROLLING YOU UH WORTHLESS HUMAN SCUM YOU FUCKING NOOK SUCKING HORN RUBBING FUCK FACE CUN-

EB). Woah one you have horns and two your god??

CG). OH MY GOG SHUT UP THATS NOT THE POINT ALL YOU NEED TO KNWO IS THAT IM HERE TO ANNOY YOU AND THATS THAT ALSO HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FRIENDS ALSO GETTING THESE SHITTY MESSAGES BECAUSE M UH FRIENDS ARE ALSO TROLLS ANNNND-

EB). ok. So whats the point here man I'm tired just tell me what you want and today's my birthday so-

CG). GOG YOU STUPID FUCKING HUMANS.. SO SINCE YOUR UNABLE TO GET PISSED BECUASE OF MY VERY VERY.. FUNNY TROLLING WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU NEED?? BECAUSE IF YOUT ASKING WHAT I WNAT IS TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WORTHLESS GRUB.

EB). Well my friend Jade is kinda upset about these weird dreams she's been having and they haven't come true and apparently she's been planning for this day her whole life and all so the least you could do would be to help her!

CG). HELLO? OK WISE GUY IM NOT A FUCKING MIRACLE WORKER.

EB). Well if your god can't you help anyone? :B

CG). SHUT THE FUCK UP OK OK I ADMIT IT IN NOT GOD BY ANY MEANS BUT SHEESH- GUESS I COULD JUST MESSAGE YOUR FRIEND OR SOMETHING..

EB). wow yeah thanks dude byyyyeeee ^^

CG). HEY WAIT-

( EB). stopped pestering CG). at 6:43 pm )

Welp that was strange. But whatever your tierd and your sick of eating cake all day probably Betty crocker cake mix.. hm I just hope Jades ok, she lives all alone only at 13 and her Grandpa has been gone for a year so there's no hope of him coming back any time soon she said he was really into adventurers andddd.. into some guy named Dirk?? Damn she really needs to stop looking through her grandpa's weird old gay fantasy diaries..

//////////

Your name is Karkat Vantas and today the in human language would be the thirteenth of April two thousand and nine.. your now on a wild goose chase of messaging this human boys sad friend like you should fucking care. Seems out of your fucking control why do you even give a shit anyway I mean it's either this or playinv that stupid game with Sollux even though it was your idea in the first place.. whatever Karkat let's just get this shit over with...

CG). HEY ARE YOU JADE? ANSWEAR ME!! MAKE THSI EASY AND ANSWER DONT TRY ANYTHING!

GG). Who the hell is this Dave are you using an alt account on pesterchum becuase if thai is you I'm gonna be at your fucking ass :(

CG). NO MY NAME IS KARKAT NOW WJTA TEH HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM ANYWAY A FRIEND OF YOURS HAD TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR CURRENT FEELINGS OF SADNESS AND TO GWT HIM TO SHUT TEH FUCK UP I HAVE TO DO THIS.

GG). well my problem is that I'll be trapped on this stupid fucking island forever and I'm surprised I haven't killed myself yet mr. Karkat sir.

CG). SHEESH IM NOT YOUR THERAPIST KUAT TELL ME HOW I CAN HELP SO I CAN GET JOHN OFF MY BACK.

GG). well If your asking injsut want to leave this stupid island I've tried everything but nothing will work

CG). WELL I MEAN I COULD GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE MAYBE?

/Half an hour goes by no response from Jade/

CG). HEY ARE YOU STILL THERE???

CG). HELLOOOOO

GG). help please teh bleeding won't stop and it hurts.

CG). WHAT ARE YOU OK?

GG). no my wrist keeps bleeding and it won't stop I can't stop the bleeding please help

CG). DID YOU DO TAHT TO YOURSELF.

GG). god fuck off please just help me!!

CG). UM WELL IS THERE ANYONE THERE TO HELP YOU?

GG). a fucking dog that can sometimes teleport.

CG). WELL THEN FIND THE "DOG" AND LET IT COMFORT YOU OR BETTER YET TRY SOME OF THOSE FANCY THINGS YOU TRIED TO MAKE TO GWT OUT OF THAT ISLAND I DON'T KNOW FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP!!

GG). Iim bleeding out but I'll try I don't want to die please don't let me die Karkat it's so cold here don't let me die alone bleeding out my wrist on this floor please

(She slowly walks over to her failed portal to simply think about the one person who cared about her dying the only one who offers help as her wrist bleeds out onto the cracks of the stone contraption on the floor causing it to flicker green light..)

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you think you just listened to the last words of a girl who killed herself you feel sick to you stomach- FUCK OH MY GOG. a passed out red blooded girl lays flat on your floor as you see the same blood color as you tan skin, cracked lips, fluffy long hair, no horns what is this you know it's a human. But god THIS oh my wow i- CHRIST KARKAT SHES DYING DO SOMETHING FUCKFUCKFUCK ( you find bandages and wrap them around her wrist you lay her on your bed staring at her for hours wondering what to do when all of a sudden her eyes widen ) ( Jades POV ) OH MY GOD YOU- WHERE YOU HAVE HORNS AND YOUR G- GRAY AND A BOY? I- YOU SAVED ME DIDNT YOU YOU KARKAT YOU YES YOU ( he stairs at you in shock your so happy and scared all at the same time knowing that This the first time in years you have been around another thing that has feeling like you at least you think but he saved you. ) / She leans in and gives Karkat a kiss on the lips / ( Karkat's POV ) OH MY GOD you turn away S-STOP I I DON'T KNOW YOU I- i-m so sorry she says in a quite voice feeling ashamed of what she had done I haven't seen another person in a very very long time :(.. OH I UH UNDERSTAND BUT STILL- THIS IS STUPID SO JUST TELL ME WHY IS YOUR BLOOD RED LIKE MINE YOU COULD BE KILLED. I don't fucking know I'm just- thats just how humans are. Ok. Also if my portal worked.. then. I can leave. Whenever I want I'm free thanks to y- you oh my god OH MY GOD. PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS PLACE I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU KNOW PLEASE I LOVE IT HERE I LOVE YOU. I- FINE BUT PLEASE CALM DONE FOR FUCKS SAKE I'M HORRIFIED OF YOU...

//////////

(End of chapter one everyone is always connected ) also if there's spelling and Grammer mistakes idc in only proof read the start and I'm rlly tierd so fuck off it's 1:00 AM rn..

#homestuck #fanfic #this is a cry for help #sensitive people DNI #I based Daves parts off of my own experiences btw..

[gesuka]

oh but EUGHHHHH I GOTTA RANT ABOUT ONE MORE THING TO MYSELF... "are you bored yet?" by wallows? you know that right fellas?? I WAS GONNA PLANNED TO PUT IT IN MY WEDDING PLAYLIST BUTTTTT :SOBS: THESE PAST FEW DAYS WHEN IT COMES UP I KEEP CRYING CUZ IT MADE ME THINK OF HERRR ITS WEIRDD EVER SINCE HER FRIEND TOLD HER LIKE "oh this remind me of u and kai" RIGHTTT??? THE LYRIC SOUNDS GREAT TOO.. i mean LISTEN "'Cause we could stay at home or watch the sunset But I can't help from askin', "Are you bored yet?" And if you're feelin' lonely, you should tell me Before this ends up as another memory Will you tell the truth so I don't have to lie?" UGHHHH i can't explain it but like i feel like it's something about instead of "sunset" right what if it's about our relationship like "are you bored of me yet?" ughhh i always tell her that and she always get sad... sorryyyy! this part really got into me though listen... "Feels like I’ve known you my whole life I can see right through your lies I don’t know where we’re going But I’d like to be by your side If you can tell me how you’re feeling Maybe we’d get through this undefeated Holding on for so long" (just know how to do this text stuff) UGHHHHHHHHHH THIS PART HIT ME SO BADDDD...IM KINDA SOBBING A LITTLE.. sometime when Say lies in our texts i can see this kind of cute like cartoonish way that she lies like if i ask "have you been eating?" she would respond "yesssss?" like a cartoon character... it's so obvious but sometime i wanna stay silent because she's just cute when she does it....wonder if i get to see it again.. oh and... the last five part got me crying like a baby... cuz to me it's like "i don't know where our relationship going sometime so jsut tell me how you feel! i just wanna stay with you and hold you on long terms" sort of like that...and it's makes me cries you know... before her saying stuff like i've been objectifying her because only of her pretty looks... (idk if that's her or not but to me i think it is... she did denied this and i wanna look the other way but mannn..) i do not at all... before even knowing what she'd looked like i thought of her as a girl whos passionate for what she want to do in her life, a lightheaded cheerful girl who needed the comfort from time to time, an angel fallen bestow to depressed people out there to talk to them on a daily basis! i dunno if this is weird talking about her now, but i still can't rub my head around it, i feel sick, my only cure right now is just seeing her though, i wouldn't care what she looks like now, to me personality is everything about a person i wanna love, or just be funny, and cute, like her, maybe i was looking for someone as autistic as meee (imagine me sighing here) in my motto... if i go around the world right now, up to even 100 times, i wouldn't find someone like her, someone like my SaySay, and it's hurts you know, i just wanna see her again.... i mean, if she puts up with me for months after months... she DOES loves me somewhat right??? i don't know anymoreeeeeeeeee, just wanna see my baby... i miss her alot (imagine me pouting here, dont barf X{ )

[midnightutopia]

Im sad again, im trying to allow myself to sit in this place and to feel it. How can I man I barely knew make me so sad. I am morning the person I thought he was going to be to me. With relationships its easier to walk away when you truly get to know someone and you see there flaws. I mean truly, it might have been hard to seriously date an alcoholic. But I am still sad. I am going to wait a bit and the re-download dating apps. I know that talking to someone new helps. But I need to get my life in order first. I need to get a job and have stuff that I am doing. I can't just be sitting around waiting for someone to come into my life and fill this gap. I need to be able to fill it myself. And this is probably good because it has pushed me to open a new door and I dont know what is behind this new door. Because of Alex I reached out to Jenny and now have a really cool new friend. We have a lot in common. I am friends again with Andrew, which it actually nice because we can go to poetry together and it's nice to have closure with that. But it just makes me sad because I really thought Alex was so cool. I'm not sure if it would have made a difference if I slept with him or not tbh. I got attached really quickly and I dont think that had anything to do with physical intimacy. I think it had to do with the fact that my life has kinda faltered and I don't have much going on which made me more prone to disosiciating and getting lost in my mind. It just bums me out.., rejection and all. But there is a solid reason, he is not over his ex at all. And I get it. But it sucks. Why message me so often and say things like you wanted a relationship with me then go distant? Like why lead me on? Sending me hearts and calling me pretty, just to take a step back. I was so excited about him. I just can't wait till I can be excited about someone who will like me back and be consistent. All these men that I have been talking to lately have an ex that they are just not over. And it is hard :( Because I am over my ex and I am ready. I have a blank space in my heart and I am ready. 😓 Sigh, it will be good to talk to Mia. I am sad right now and that is okay. I am letting myself feel these emotions so I can move on. I am not trying to run away from them. I feel lonely and isolated and distant from the world. And sometimes I have had urges to hurt myself. But I know I wont. Although, fantasizing about it helps the pain and soothes me to sleep. Thank God I have Mia. I am so sad. I am not in a good place. I am trying, I am trying. I hang out with people and have been putting effort into my appearance, even though I dont want to. I have been. I curled my hair last night and did my makeup to see Jenny. I through out my cigarettes because I feel like they make me lethargic. But I cant tell if im lethargic because of Alex or substances. I haven't had the urge to drink away my pain, which has been really good. I go to sleep early and when I wake up I am sad, because it's too early to wake up and start my day. I wish I could just sleep for like 15 hours. I wish I could just wake up when I have things in my life to look forward to. I dont want to travel, I just want to be living in a different life and have a different brain. I need to be honest about my depression with Mia. I see her in 4 hours. Thank God!! I will have a good meal tonight before I see here and continue to selfsooth

[earthbound-girl]

Im kinda Pathetic (First Post)

So I've had so many accounts in the past and I always delete them. I can't stay away from here. It's the only place I feel safe writing my thoughts. To just be.

so this is my first post on my newest account. I am an earthbound-girl name is amber. I am a 27-year-old college student. I have depression and anxiety(diagnosed) but I suspect I have ADHD and or autism(undiagnosed.) sometimes I'm afraid that I'm just looking at other people's symptoms and trying to make it my own. I am extremely insecure and well lonely. Im the person that people dont see and for the longest time i was okay with that. Ive felt Ive never belonged. In my family, in my friends, in my body. Its like I'm missing a home that isn't here.

I have traumas and issues, mostly because of dealing with my family. I am the eldest of the household and have been used as a therapist, a parent, a go-between, and a crutch. I have so many responsibilities that I feel like it's gonna crush me. I have trauma from being bullied at school, and emotional and religious trauma from my stepdad. Who I didn't know was my stepdad till I was 13.

I've never had a relationship that wasn't an nsfw one and even then it wasn't relationship, just two horny people. I'm tired of being that way, so I've deleted my last NSFW blog. I've never been kissed, or held, or cuddled, or missed. If i got into a relationship right now Im not sure what id do. what do you do in relationships? I want to date. well..i dont want to be lonely. I honestly would like to have a friends to lovers type of relationship. But thats a pipe dream for someone like me.

I am Bisexual, cis-gendered, and I think poly. I figured poly a while back but I just didn't want to admit it. I came out of the closet when I was 20/21. I had no choice cause I almost died because I held in so long. Cisgendered is kind of a toss-up. Cause I would like to be a boy but I like being a girl. I've seen so many gender labels that at this point I just don't identify with a label. I wish I could bind but I still live with family and I don't want to to hear the stuff that could be said. I wish i could cut my hair short boycut, but last time i didnt feel comfortable. I'm still growing it out.

I am a mix of my family, past friends, and people I see on tv, personalities. So i never feel like me. Im not me. just a jumbled mess. I'm easily influenced and I hate that. I want to change and I want to be me, but its hard when you are in a place that wont let you.

I dream of owning my own car, my own house, and living alone. (Yes even though I'm lonely, I want to live alone. its a whole thing) I want stuff that is mine, things that I dont have to share. I would live in the forest in a cottage. surrounded by my books, being able to make the place my own. Maybe be able to grow a garden and to forge and take walks along a creek or pond and just live so sweetly.

I basically info dumped alot of info about myself. But i dont care. I just want to say it even if its gonna get lost in the void.

I want to be me. I want to be selfish. I want to sit in my own living room. Drive my own car. I want what I find cute, and pretty. I want to feel pretty, and wanted, and desired, and loved. I want to be happy. Because its been so long since I've felt that. Since i havent cried cause I hate my situation, cause im slowly starting to hate my family, cause im so tired of just being.

I will be happy one day. I will have everything I want and more. I'm just not sure where to start.

#mental health #personal #my rumble rant

[wanderinstar]

🎅 santa loves yes. sorry for taking a while with this ask! i will try to make up for it! i have never heard of rare bird but thank you for the recommendation!

yes is one of the bands i am most into at the present moment, with the other one being the buggles, which is a pretty painful experience because a buggles fanbase is near nonexistent and legitimately half of their discography is not even on spotify. whatever.

im not sure if i would be able to tell you anything you dont already know about yes, but one of my favorite yes moments, top of the line, was when jon composed the second verse of owner of a lonely heart and that pissed off trevor(horn) because his own lyrics were replaced, so after the eagle in the sky bit in the song he actually just added a gun shooting jons eagle from the sky😭

how did you become a classic rock enthusiast? you can be as lengthy as you want with this answer, i want to hear it all. i LIKE to hear it all.

No problem, Santa!

So you do know Yes, I knew it! My intuition is on point lately haha! Can you believe I didn't know about this Yes story? Or at least I don't remember. It's hilarious, thank you for sharing it with me, it made me laugh! I'm curious, how did you discover them? Have you been a fan for a long time?

Dear Santa, I understand what you mean with "painful experience" in relation to the Buggles fanbase. It's the same with Rare Bird actually, I'm so sorry! Unfortunately they don't receive enough love 💔 btw I can't wait to hear your impressions on Rare Bird, I really hope you like it, but if you don't, it's totally fine. And you can take your time, no pressure ;)

And now I'm feeling free to complain a little about spotify as well hehehe. I could never adapt to music streaming platforms for many reasons, but not having some stuff in there is one of them. But I do enjoy seeing people's spotify wrapped, even though I don't use it. What was your top song this year, if you don't mind sharing?

As for your question, it's a bit hard to say when exactly it happened... my dad loves music, and I grew up listening to a lot of classic rock tunes. But I've only really started listening to it on my own as a grown up! I think it's possible to say that finding Yes a couple years ago triggered it in me. When I first heard them, I couldn't believe my dad had never played it for us before (I was simply sure he knew them just because!). Then I started digging and rediscovered bands and songs, and ended up expanding in a way that I introduce some stuff to him as well, as he still introduces rock songs to me. And it's a lot of fun!

Now I'm glad liking this kind of music is giving me the opportunity to befriend you :) I would love to hear your story as well if you feel like sharing. I'm afraid I might be asking too many questions so I'm gonna stop here 😆

#srs22

[youmustbestrongernow]

Dont know if you remember me, I am the person who had a huge friendship crush on many bloggers and just asked the most random stuff to everybody (even googled good stuff to get to know better people), to pretend we are friends (I was so drinking lonely, had nobody). And asked for advice to feel like I have someone in my life,I could go to.

I am not a lot on Tumblr more 🙈, because tiktok won me over and through kpop I managed to make friends!!!! But I havenot forgotten you guys. (Stupid to say Tumblr raised me so you kinda something like my parentfriendshipcrush)

To feel a flashback. Ask around. Hava you ever said how old you are? Last time I asked you didn't answer and I am always yscares that you are not of legal age, but you work I think so I hope you are legal age. Otherwise my friendship crush is creaps.

Hair colour?

Flast food you ate?

If you could be an animal, which one?

Feet or hands?

Liking puzzling?

Android or iPhone?

Hey anon, not sure i remember you, although this does sound familiar. i can't remember what you asked but your quandary rings a bell. ido kinda get that though, like even being on the other side of it, giving advice always felt good and let me feel close to people in a weird way. I guess i like to be that person people come to for advice, which is the case amongst my friends and family. Flipside is I tend not to have anyone I can go to for advice, can't always advise myself you know?

But good on you for making kpop friends, thats cool. i'm still here on tumblr, don't think i'll ever leave. i've tried other social media platforms as they've come and go but this seems to be the one that sticks for me

I mean I get a lot of nosy (read: overly invasive) questions on here, so usually just blanket ignore them. we are all strangers afterall. that being said, I'm definitely a boring grown up with my very fancy job and life (which i love don’t get me wrong, boring is good sometimes, who needs the drama?), thinking about mortgages and all that serious stuff. sort of... that's kinda where i am or am getting to at least. like things are pretty settled. i can't imagine i come across as anything else. anxiety and loneliness aside i've pretty much got my shit together these days. 

that being said friendship crush is still kinda weird? when you don't actually know the person/aren't really their friend, right? maybe that's just me though, but i need a strong connection to feel anything for anyone, that's why i've never really got the whole crush thing

My hair is currently green, but it's fading. I met a girl at the mcr concert with an electric blue and purple afro, so that's what i'm going for next, just need to grow it out a little

Ice cream - i'm sick right now so all i want is ice cream. i'm also pretty out of it on flu meds so maybe this will all make sense, maybe it will be rambles

An elephant maybe. well elephants are my favourite at least.

Hands? I don't know? I like holding hands.

Do I like puzzles? Er they're ok. I like puzzles in video games I guess.

Android

#i do want to start playing board games again #all those sorts of things #that's kind of like puzzling? #i can't imagine anyone thinking i'm not an adult? #and yet i still get id'd everytime i try to buy ibuprofen or beer #also this has just reminded me it's nearly my birthday #which isn't that exciting #but i might plan something #ask theo