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propertyofwicked · 1 month

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SECRETS part 3 - LN

lando x fewtrell!reader

no content warnings for this part ! :) (there is more fluff in this part, finally)

p.s i wrote half of this on a train that smelt so bad so if its bad we blame thameslink <3

part 1 -> part 2 -> part 3 -> part 4 -> part 5 -> part 6 -> part 7!

max decided he’d talk to his sister later, right now, he needed to focus on being there for lando. right now, they were sat in the mclaren garage, qualifiers underway and lando doing so well. even y/n started to believe she was a lucky charm. and indeed, lando now believed she was 100% his lucky charm.

the moment his post-qualifying responsibilities ended, he came bounding over to y/n and max, first taking max into what y/n could only describe as a bro hug, ending when he swiftly moved to embrace her, mumbling a chant of ‘thank yous’ in her ear. he caught max in an awkward stare, prompting him to let go of y/n.

“thank me? what for? that was all you lan,” she said, smiling up at him as she moved her arms to cross over her chest.

“thanks to my lucky charm,” he said to both of them, but smirking at y/n, “im starting 2nd on the grid tomorrow. strong start means a strong race,” he finished, still beaming from ear to ear.

“me and y/n are going out for some food in a bit if you wanna join mate,” max said, smiling back at his friend.

“yeah sounds good. ive got to shower, but i’ll swing by and pick you both up from your hotel at 5?”

“perfect, see you there mate.”

the drive back to the hotel was silent, y/n assumed her brother was tired, her brother was in fact thinking. more specifically, thinking about his sister and where she had been the night before. he tried to stop his mind wandering further and yet, images of his sister and best friend infiltrated his thoughts. max’s brain couldn’t stop dwelling on the way lando embraced his sister, how his hands gripped at her waist, and then he thought back to that night in monaco. the way his best friend stood behind y/n, his hands on her waist, her head rolled back onto his shoulder as they danced to the music. before he knew it, the fear and anger he thought had dissipated months ago, was bubbling back inside of him, his hands gripping the steering wheel to ground him from the feeling.

y/n noticed. of course she did. spending 20 years of your life around someone tends to give you the ability to read their every emotion - and this one was one that y/n was not too familiar with. max usually held his anger and sadness well, so the only times she’d seen this was in his earlier driving career when races didn’t go his way. she hoped so desperately he wasn’t angry with her, after all, nothing had happened, and as far as she was aware, nothing would happen.

by the time 5 o’clock came around, max had returned to his normal self, conversing with y/n normally. that’s a good sign, y/n thought to herself. and now, he was chatting to lando as he drove them to a restaurant outside of the town they were staying in. it was all going so well, max was calm, y/n and lando were friends again and nothing could ruin this moment.

“y/n, why is your lip balm in lando’s centre console?”

shit.

“oh i think it fell out the top of my bag when i climbed in the back,” she said panicked, her eyes quickly darting to lando, who was suddenly very interested in the road ahead. max seemed ok with her answer, humming with a quick nod before continuing his conversation with lando. y/n, however, was filled with a new wave of anxiety. why did she feel like this? she hadn’t even done anything? and yet, her mind was now plagued with guilt.

her hands came together, playing with her fingers and twisting her rings around to calm the anxious thoughts, a trait she’d had since childhood. lando glanced at her in his rear view mirror, seeing her facial expressions - her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth falling into a natural frown. he then spotted her hands. he tried to join her into the conversation, tried to distract her, but soon enough they were parked and walking into the restaurant. max chose to sit opposite his sister, leaving lando and y/n pushed together in the booth.

her foot tapped the floor, shaking her whole leg, as the boys talked, y/n chiming in occasionally.

“mum and dad are coming up tonight for the race tomorrow,” lando said to max, but his hand came to brush the side of y/n’s bouncing leg, his finger drawing small circles on her thigh, “they’re staying in your hotel i think.”

“good thing you did well today then isn’t it,” max replied, laughing slightly, “i can drive them to the track tomorrow morning if they want?”

“i’ll ask, im sure they’ll be glad. dad hates driving before my races, gets to nervous and forgets to indicate,” lando responds, joining max in laughing at the thought of adam norris forgetting how to drive.

“i’m just gonna run to the toilet, do either of you want a drink whilst im up?” max asked, pushing his chair back under the table as he stands. y/n nods, asking for another diet coke whilst lando declines, holding up his half full glass.

the moment max disappears from sight, lando takes y/n's hand in his, brushing his thumb up and down the back, her leg slowing its bouncing.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, quietly, sad eyes coming to meet hers.

“my lip balm lando. i don’t want to know the conclusions max will jump to, and i don’t want to be on the receiving end of his anger.”

“it’ll be fine, i promise. he’s got nothing to be angry about, we’ve done nothing wrong.”

“you didn’t see him earlier. i thought he was going to rip the steering wheel off.”

“we’ve done nothing wrong,” he repeats, “besides, you’re a grown woman who makes her own life decisions. fuck it if he has a problem.” y/n nodded in response. he had a point. she was a strong independent woman, she didn’t need her brothers permission to do anything.

for the rest of the evening, she re-joined conversations, feeling a new sense of confidence in herself that she had been lacking all weekend.

race day had approached quickly, y/n found herself sat in lando’s drivers room. max and lando’s parents had gone for a walk to grab some food, leaving the two of them alone. lando was pacing, his pre race nerves grew stronger every minute. quite frankly, y/n was sick of it - she sat back on the sofa, her eyes darting back and forth like the audience at a tennis match as she followed lando’s strides back and forth across the small room.

“lan?” she asked him, but he didn’t stop moving, and barely grunted to acknowledge that she’d spoken.

“lando? can you stop pacing? you’re making me dizzy,” she said with a sigh, and he finally came to a stop, and turned to look at her.

“sorry,” he said, smiling at her, as she stood up and walked towards him.

similar to last night, she took both of his hands in hers, pulling them to rest at the top of her chest. her eyes found his, staring directly into them.

“you nervous?”

“how could you tell?” he said, laughing slightly.

“you don’t need to be, you smashed qualis and you’ll smash this. besides, your lucky charm is here to save the day,” y/n said, adding a grin at the end of her sentence. the room fell into silence as he mulled her words over in his head. she was still looking at him, and he tried not to break the eye contact, but his eyes gradually dropped to look at her lips. she was still smiling at him, trying to calm him down the only way y/n knew how to. and she was still smiling at him when he leant down slightly, closing the gap between them even more.

“can i kiss you?” he asked slowly, as if to test the waters, the tension between them rising more than it ever had.

“i think that would be ok,” she said. he didn’t wait to join their lips together finally, pressing a soft kiss to her lips as his hands dropped from hers to fall and grip her waist softly. y/n’s hands moved to rest on the back of his neck, pulling him in closer, his tongue swiping her lower lip as her mouth parted to deepen the kiss.

he could’ve stayed in that moment forever, and he would’ve if a knock hadn’t interrupted the moment - y/n tensed up at the sound.

“lando are you ready? it’s time to get in the car.”

“uhh, yea. just give me a second,” he said, glancing down, first at y/n, panic leaving her shoulders as she established it wasn’t max, and then down to his fireproofs, readjusting the rest of his suit around his waist.

“we need you now, lando,” the voice said again, staying behind the door.

“we’ll continue this later,” he said pressing another kiss to her lips and her forehead, before walking to the door.

she grabbed her phone, her best friend was the only person she could trust to advise her now.

“well done lando, that’s p2,” lando’s race engineer announced through the radio, cheers erupting in the garage. y/n moved to cisca’s embrace, celebrating his win, after spending the entire race on the edge of their seats. the group, consisting of max, y/n and lando’s parents moved round to where lando’s car would pull in, excited to celebrate his podium with him.

when he was finally free from the cockpit, he moved to push his visor up, eyes darting around the crowd in hopes of spotting a familiar face. he spotted his mum first, and then the girl stood next to her. her smile could outshine the sun, he had thought to himself as he made great strides towards the group. lando reached over the low fencing, grabbing his mum into a tight embrace, her hand rubbing up and down his back supportively. when he stepped back and looked to his right, he saw y/n again. still smiling up at him. he would never get tired of seeing her smile.

his hands moved to her face, holding her jaw, eyes staring into hers. she couldn’t see his smile through his helmet, but she knew he was beaming. her own hands had risen to hold the sides of his helmet. he stared for a second longer before moving to pull her into an embrace tighter than his mums.

“my lucky charm,” he said to her, loud enough for a few people around her to hear.

“go get weighed and finish up. ill see you after,” she said as he pulled back, him nodding at her. just as he turned to celebrate with the rest of the team, she pulled him back.

“oh, and lando - im proud of you.” with that he left.

y/n turned to her side, looking at cisca, who was still smiling, an odd glint to her eyes. she then turned behind her, expecting to see her brother. but he wasn’t there.

“adam? where’s max?” she asked the man who had been stood next to max.

“he, um, he just left. didn’t say anything to me. he just kind of, walked off?” lando’s dad responded, looking as confused as she did.

this was not good. in fact, this was very bad.

★ ☆ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✶

tag list: @harrysdimple05 @scopeiguess @hiireadstuff @landosgirlxoxo @natt9598 @phantomxoxo @val-writes @secretgal66 @ririyulife @littlehoneyfreak @leclercdream

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris smut #lando x reader #lando smut #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #formula 1 #mclaren f1 #mclaren #lando norris fluff #propertyofwicked #maxfewtrell #fewtrell!sister

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loppsided · 6 months

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s. reid with bau reader

summary: spencer dating someone who works at the bau

pairing: spencer reid x reader

wc: 337

warnings: mentions kidnapping

a/n: omg!! im sooo sorry for not posting, these last few weeks have been so hectic for me, even though its fall break ive been swamped. im going to write a few fics to hold down for a few days but after i might go ia due to school starting up again ! also! i will try my hardest to get to requests. reblogs and likes appreciated.

him bringing you coffee every morning

if you don't have a car like him, you take the subway together, he reads to you on the train ride back home after work

you probably kept your relationship strictly professional the first few years you worked there but slowly warmed up to him

takes your casework so you can have less

waits for you by your desk to finish your casework so you can leave together

holding hands and subconsciously playing footsies at the round table

hearing him go on all those random rants and never stopping him because you love them

falling asleep on/next to each other on the plane

playing solitaire or uno on the plane rides back home and being loud as hell

checking your for cuts or bruises after cases that go wrong

if anything ever happened to you like being kidnapped or hurt he would be a mess

trying very hard to get you back, even trying to find the unsub by himself

or pacing back in forth in the hospital waiting room after you got hurt and are in surgery

taking care of you when your better and being scared of you going back into the field

spending the few breaks you get each year together

him letting you meet his mother after 8-12 months of dating

having lunch together everyday at your desks

spending the night at each others houses after hard cases

comforting each other after emilys passing and after she came back

him reading to you on the plane to calm your mind and get you to sleep

getting close faster than normal couples since your always together

because of that you said 'i love you' 2-4 months in

fiddling with his hands, tracing all the veins and his finger nails to distract yourself

sitting at his bedside holding his hand when he was in the hospital for either getting shot or the anthrax attack

being a constant support system for one another for this emotionally taxing job

#spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x afab!reader #matthew gray gulber imagine #spencer reid x y/n

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baiabay · 10 months

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No Role Modelz (ATSV Black Cat Variant! Reader Insert)

Chapter 1: Scaredy-Cat

Prologue

Chapter 1: Current Chapter

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

^^links 2 chapters!! this story is also on ao3, wattpad, and quotev under the same name ! <33

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A/N: Spot is here!!

Hey all! Okay so first things first thank you so much for all the support of the last chapter! It honestly means alot given that ive never written before lol. Alsoooo sorry for the radio-silence after the last release, i just graduated highschool! So yay for me :) also means that ill have much more time to write since its summer break for me now. Lastly,sorry if this chapter seemed kinda slow, I wanted to try to incorporate what this universes’ Felicia Hardys “canon events”(or what would be of her canon events) would look like in this chapter to set up a bit of backstory, as someone who doesn’t read the comics nor play the games, pls forgive any inaccuracies in Felicias lore as I am only going based off of wikipedia (plus in this story reader is a minor so I wanted to exclude the nsfw trauma that Felicia goes through in og story) I also wanted to find out a way how to integrate reader into the main plot which is why i decided to feature Spot in this chapter :D thanks again for the support and don’t forget that this chapter along with any future ones will be posted to ao3/tumblr under the same title!

P.S. Much more Spider-Miles/Black Cat interactions next chapter!!

Word Count: 1844

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You remembered it like it was yesterday.

Seven months ago, Brooklyn, New York.

Your father - The Black Cat’s face on every screen in the country, but most importantly yours.

BREAKING NEWS: WORLD-RENOWNED CAT BURGLAR CAUGHT IN THE ACT : IDENTITY SHOCKS THE NATION

…huh?

LIVE ON THE SCENE: ‘BLACK CAT’ REVEALED TO BE MULTI MILLIONAIRE WALTER HARDY AFTER RUN-IN WITH SPIDER-MAN

…no, this-

THIS JUST IN: CAT BURGLAR WALTER HARDY PRESUMED DEAD AT HEIST SCENE - POSSESSIONS TO BE TURNED IN TO OFFICIALS

This can’t be happening.

It was all too much at once.

He never kept it secret from you. You knew about your father’s job.

You knew all about what he did. The planning, the heists, the reselling, he had done it for years. And you knew all about it. But he had been doing this for years. Long enough to allow your family to live very comfortably. Long enough that you believed he would never be caught.

But yet there you were, all that you knew burned to the ground in a matter of minutes.

You remembered it like it was yesterday. Frantically packing everything you could into any bag you could find; clothes, money, pictures, weapons, anything - before they could take it away from you.

And when they did, it was brutal.

Live-streamed news coverage of men raiding your home, rummaging through your stuff- your father’s stuff- as if he never existed.

Soon enough there were auctions. Bids, worth millions, on your father’s items, broadcasted across the nation, with drinks and music and finger foods - they made a fucking sport out of it.

You remembered it like it was yesterday, the cheers in the street after the big-bad-black-cat was pronounced dead. The endless praise Spider-man received, that of which he took with a smile on his face. You had wished you could kill him.

You remembered it like it was yesterday, the day Peter Parker died.

You laughed.

. . . . . . . . . .

Seven months later, Brooklyn, New York.

Ugh.

Muscles aching, you stretched up in your bed, and groaned. Ruffling the bedhead out of your hair, you reluctantly trudged out of your mattress to open a window. Coincidentally, one of your many cats was perched perfectly on its sill, wide-eyed and tail flicking in your direction.

“...This whole heist stuff is really catching up to me, huh?”

The cat stared. You sighed. You really had to get yourself some friends.

Ever since your fathers passing, you’ve basically been on your own. Shortly after all his (and your) possessions were seized, you hopped around until you managed to find shelter in a shitty apartment on the west side of town. You, fueled purely by spite (with a tasteful teeny tiny dash of vengeance on the side), inherited the criminal persona of your father, along with his criminal tendencies, and took upon yourself the name of The Black Cat.

All this time you’ve managed to keep your identity completely secret, not even your resellers knew who you were. That came with one major drawback though… you were extremely lonely.

Even with your frequent charity rounds around the community, noone really knew who you were. Even though Black Cat was nonviolent, the name was widely feared seemingly everywhere you went. Even with your days at school, the school you’ve been going to for months now, you made your way around the halls unnoticed.

Speaking of school, you were late.

Shit.

Spending ample time dazing out your window, you’ve completely lost track of time. You disregarded your hair and rushed to pull on your uniform. Stumbling around your complex you hastily dumped too large of a portion of cat food into the automatic feeder, something you’re sure the cats will be grateful for. Shoving a few snacks into your bag, you simultaneously shuffled into your school shoes, proceeding to dash out the door.

Sprinting down the stairs, nearly tripping once, twice, you whipped out your phone to check when the next bus route would arrive. 35 minutes.

Shitshitshit.

You paused, still in the stairwell, before turning to sprint in the opposite direction, towards the rooftop terrace. Creaking open the door, you checked to make sure noone else was up there before making your way towards the edge of the terrace. To anyone else but you, it would look like a young student was about to make an unfortunate decision and jump. And jump you did.

You fell for a few seconds, relishing in the way your stomach dropped. You’d never get tired of that feeling. Seeing the ground get closer, you released your grappling hook and latched onto the nearest building. Pulling and releasing, you quickly fell into a swinging pattern, towards Brooklyn Visions.

Hidden from the eyes of civilians, you swung yourself through the shadows. Everyone looked so small from up there, and for a brief second, you found power in your lonesome. In the corner of your eye you noticed what seemed to be a lanky white figure clumsily flying through the air. (You paid it no mind).

Dropping down into a dark alleyway much closer to campus, you continued your mad dash towards the main entrance. Winded, you finally made your way inside the building, a thin layer of sweat shined on your forehead. The hallways were empty, class must be in session. You took a few steps forward, making your way towards your classroom until being knocked over by a student, very evidently in a hurry.

“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to-I’m just in a rush, I didn’t mean…”

The boy reached out his hand to help you up.

“Hey, it's no problem, I get it.”

You smiled, and took your hand in his. He hesitated for a moment, staring, brows furrowed at your now interlocked hands, before nodding and continuing his sprint down the hallways.

You took in his disheveled appearance, his wonky tie, his half-tucked shirt, untied laces, dark eyes, curly hair, brown skin, sweaty palms…

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted with the shrill ringing of the school bell. Suddenly, the hallways flooded with students rushing towards their next classes, you decided to follow suit.

On the other side of the hallway, Miles Morales lingered on how his spidey-sense flashed alarms in his head when his hand touched yours. Every nerve in his system telling him to run, fight, dodge, anything to get away from you-he couldn't put his finger on why. (He paid it no mind). Blaming it on nerves, Miles shoved his way through the packed hallways, dreading the meeting waiting for him in the guidance counselor's office.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

School was a bust, as always. Nothing new, you made your way through the rest of the day unnoticed. As always. But you didn’t have time to think about that right now.

At the moment, you were in the middle of going through numerous number-codes on a padlock blocking the vault door to an extremely expensive gemstone. You’ve been salivating over this stone for weeks now, planning out how and when exactly you would strike to get this thing in your hands. You could see it now, the headlines, the chaos, after some rando millionaire’s little rock was taken from him…

“Woah, hey, you’re new!”

You flinched, hard. Whipping around towards the source of this unusually chipper voice. You were met with… a cow? … Man?

You stared, hard.

“Okay, hey. The ogling isn’t necessary… I just-”

The cowman’s sentence was cut short with a quick lash of your whip, that of which he caught…? Your whip seemed to phase right through a large black hole on his torso, the opposite end appearing in a similar black hole right behind you, the whips end striking your back. You cried out, hit with the full force of your lash.

Sinister giggles emerged from the spotted figure, pointed towards your pained form. You trembled, in shock.

“It’s rude to interrupt.”

Spot stepped slowly towards you, his…well, spots, whirring aggressively, pointedly. You were frozen on the ground. Staring up at him, your lips trembled open.

“What,” You coughed. Once, twice. “-what are you?”

The black and white figure straightened, only to then fold over into a dramatic, hilariously unthreatening pose.

“You, can call me… The Sp-”

“Some sort of cow?” You snickered. It was now his turn to flinch, hard.

“I am NOT a-” The cow cleared his throat. “I am not a cow…whydoeseveryonesaythat…I, am the most dangerous villain you’ve ever seen, The Spo-”

“I mean, what’s with that getup?” The grin on your face grew. “Is that… is that supposed to be a costume? Orrrr…”

The Spot sighed, defeated. “...it’s skin.”

“It’s skin?”

“Yes, yes, now I-”

You stood up, energy back and eyes crinkled.

“Wow, that’s…hm, interesting…skin, that’s skin? Sorry, sorry-listen man, I uh, I really gotta get back to this, so if you don’t mind?”

Stepping backwards in offence, the spotted figure shook in anger before swinging out his arm, releasing numerous dark voids around the room. Hitting practically every surface, but one most importantly, landing on the vault door, separating you, from your stone.

“Ah-wait-”

Swiftly, The Spot weaved his way through his holes, limbs popping up and out around the room in a way you couldn’t even begin to reach for your whip.

No way was he about to take it from you.

But take it, he did.

In what felt like seconds, the whole room was engulfed in black. Stumbling backwards, you fell through one of the voids, flailing ungracefully, swimming through nothing.

It was hard to breathe.

A shrill crackling terrorized your ears, and before you, appeared a very disheveled Spot, now fully black with white spots, facial dot whirring and trained on you.

Gem in hand.

Panic.

You were panicking. The sound of blood thrummed in your ears as you squirmed around in nothingness. Fuck the rock, you just had to get out of here.

A cold hand grabs your wrist, dragging you upwards, towards the crackling form.

For the second time today, you were frozen.

“I am not a cow,”

The form spoke lowly.

“I am not some villain of the week”,

Frozen still, you did nothing but stare straight into his glare.

“I. Am. The Spot”.

Suddenly, you were dropped. For the second time today, your stomach dropped with you. Next thing you know you’re falling through another void, leading not into darkness, but through the city skyline. Seeing the ground get closer, you released your grappling hook and latched onto the nearest building.

As soon as your feet reached a solid surface, your legs buckled. Heaving, you failed to process what just took place, heart pounding in your ears.

“...the fuck was that?”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Miles received word of commotion taking place downtown, something to do with spots. He had hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was, and it was. It was, and was so much worse.

Dark spots littered a large manor, maniacal cackling emerging from its center. In the corner of his eye a familiar masked figure hunched over, breathing rapidly, staring straight ahead at the mess of spots.

(He paid it some mind.)

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Ppl that asked me to tag them!(thxx 4 the support!)

@nightshxdex

@itszzmoon

@blackcat-kittyblogs

@vxxxb

#miles morales x reader #atsv x you #atsv #reader insert #atsv x reader #atsv reader insert #spider-man: across the spider-verse #across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse x reader #black cat! reader #hobie brown x reader #gwen stacy x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #miguel ohara

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meruz · 6 months

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Lightbox Expo 2023 is over!! Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table. I can't believe I sold out of both my sketchbooks AND my digimon fanbook... (multiple prints too?!)! I'm incredibly grateful... I will have a 2nd print run of both sketchbooks and online orders for the digimon book up in the next couple weeks so please keep an eye out for that!

More gushing abt the weekend under the cut

I sell at an average of idk... 3-4 events a year? So I would consider myself a frequent congoer though not necessarily full time lol. I'm a little jaded like it's not that I don't enjoy going to cons but theres definitely a bunch that feel like just-another-con-weekend to me lol, sometimes it's more work than play I guess. But this con felt really different! For the first time in a while I left a convention feeling really thrilled and giddy that I had been there. The kind of feeling I used to get when I would table at anime cons in highschool! And I think a lot of that is the people I met and talked to and the overall vibes at the event. Oh also I literally just had surgery and going to this con is like the only thing ive done this week besides lay in bed and play Story of Seasons on the nintendo switch and I thought I would be in pain and miserable but actually I HAD SO MUCH FUN...!!!! even when i skipped after-hours socializing every night to go home early and sleep 12 hours lol. SO ANYWAYS. YEAH. IT'S CORNY. BUT I wanna say thank you again to everyone who stopped by the table. Especially all the coworkers and long time mutuals who I met in person for the first time this weekend!! And the long time followers who told me they have been following me since homestuck or naruto or whenever. And college classmates who I haven't seen since graduation, crazy talented underclassmen who I'd never met but stopped by to say hi... So many people who absolutely made my day. SPECIAL thank you to my table partner Emi who is the best and such a good sport and accommodating to the point that I feel ridiculous when she thanks me for anything. And um also thank you to the artists who were cool and nice when I went up to their tables and blurted out 24917596 compliments in rapid succession. or only got one really awkward compliment out to LMAO... I felt so inspired and awe struck by everyone's work! God it was just so cool to be there. I LOVE ART....

Ok yeah thats it. its been a while since ive written a post-con blog post so earnestly lol.. here's my obscene haul photo I was buying stuff at this con like I was dying and couldn't take it with me LMAO.

I'm not gonna go tag everyone because I don't think everyones on tumblr but if you dont mind doing a little google search legwork: big x-men prints from chase conley, prints from jacki li/bguavas, azusa tojo, xanthe bouma, nicodaboy, susan yung, hormstuck, nessa tweneboah, linda liu, ash tahilan, zines also from jason dwyer, ash tahilan, aprilyn cunanan, veggiecakeface, deb lee, dune5and, uhh yoichi nishikawa art book and parakid calendar, stickers again from ash, marie lum, hormstuck, chiou, and emi hartana/crowlets OKAY I THINK I COVERED EVERYTHING THANKS FOR READING

#lifeblogging

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for not wearing long sleeves? tw // self harm

recently i (20nb) had a particularly bad week and relapsed. i dont do anything that leads to any major injury but it does leave visible marks on my wrists.

after a few days i kind of forgot about them? i dont care about people seeing them all that much (obviously i do tend to wear longer sleeves to hide them, but theyre a part of me just like any other temporary scar. i dont bring them up ever i just let them exist. all this to say if i wear short sleeves its not the end of the world for me) and im in the middle of art school finals right now so hiding my scars is not my priority lol

recently i went out with my family (my mom [49f], my sister [16f] and my brother [14m] if it matters) to get haircuts. the haircuts are by a family friend (63m), and he is well aware of my mental health issues. once i got in the car, i realized that i put on a short sleeved shirt today. we werent exactly gonna go out and do stuff other than haircuts and burger king, so i thought it would be fine. the scars, at this point, have faded to nothing more than faint red lines and are barely noticeable.

long story short, my mom saw them and dragged me out to the car after our haircuts were done. once we got to the car she laid it in on me. she yelled at me, asking me things like "how dare you do that to yourself again", "how dare you show them off to [haircut guy]", "why did you think that wearing short sleeves was even remotely a good idea?". i tried to explain it was an accident, but she pointed to the scars and asked me how "that" was an accident.

i will admit that i didnt have a good answer for that and stayed silent. my mom didnt like that and accused me of everything from earlier again, and then marched inside for my siblings, saying she wasnt done with me.

im now back at my dorms after a very silent car ride. ive already texted my dad (49m) about the situation, who is backing me up, so hopefully the argument will resolve here, but judging from my moms visceral reaction, i feel like an asshole. the intent wasnt to "show them off", but i should have worn longer sleeves to hide them and make sure that i didnt freak out my mom. shes autistic and cant control her emotions very well (she hasnt gotten therapy for it) and she might have been stressed since ive had issues with sh for 7 years now and i was 4 months clean before i relapsed (and she mightve thought that i broke free of the habit).

... though as far as im aware, neither my mom nor my haircutter have had issues with sh in the past, and my haircutter didnt notice my scars.

sorry for long post; aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #self harm cw

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untoldsoup · 4 months

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Just wanted to make a quick update!

I know some people have expressed concern over my mental health because of the speed I get updates out so I figured I would make a post to clear the air.

Yes, I draw 3-4 or more hours a day. And I know it sounds alarming but I'm an introvert. I spend most of my time between work and home. Before starting this comic I would either play video games all day or scroll the Internet. If you look at my blog history, you will see I've actually had this blog since 2020. However before this comic I posted barely anything. Maybe one to two arts a year.

I had a long span of depression and life and health issues that really affected my passion for art (a year of spine problems that also prevented me from drawing until I had emergency surgery). Getting into the mario fandom really reignited my drive to draw again. When I find something I like I hyper fixate on it A LOT. I did the same with starwars for 4 years with a previous blog.

Also, this is my first time actually committing to a comic and I'm having a ton of fun with it, learning new things and fully enjoying the experience.

I do take breaks for other things (over the summer I worked less on the comic and more on other sidlink projects ect) to prevent burnout.

But drawing really is relaxing when I get home from work. I put on youtube or music and work on a page, then do some chores and a few other things before bed.

Not to mention I got a system down now and its easier to start and finish pages than it was at the beginning.

I'm working on the last update now and whats really motivating me is proving to myself I can finish such a large project. Ive never worked on something this big before and there is a sense of pride in completing it. I also plan on working on a ten page epilogue that wont be post on tumblr due to the nsfw rules, but will probably have on bluesky or discord or something.

I think after that I will however take a small break before working on the sequel (I do have the first 12 pages of the sequel ready to go, but it wont be posted till chapters one and two are both finished) just so I dont stress about it.

I'm a very anxious, isolated person and having projects to work on has helped a lot. I also started some depression meds this year that have been a boon to getting stuff done and not being sad all the time lol.

So all is well rn!! I'm on page 57 right now for the comic, and have a long xmas break coming up so I might meet my deadline who knows XD

#updates

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kafus · 7 months

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i did some ridiculous technical BS in pokemon again

NOTE: not only is this post a very very long infodump from yours truly, it is also specifically an infodump involving a lot of pokemon glitches and exploits. even though i don't tamper with my games and everything achieved here can be done on original hardware with no hacking or what-have-you, some people still may consider this Cheating based on their own personal standards of legitimate gameplay. i ask that you please don't try to start arguments with me about pokemon legality and just take it all as an interesting technical infodump about gen 3 pokemon okay thank you <3

SO. i decided that before pokemon bank eventually shuts down one day in the probably-not-so-distant future and makes old gen transfer impossible, i need more ribbon master pokemon (AKA a pokemon with all the ribbons it can possibly receive from its gen of origin to the most recent gen it can transfer to) from gens 3 and 4. i've been meaning to ribbon master a pokemon from gen 3 based on my favorite singer, KAF (you don't need to know anything about kaf for this story whatsoever but you should check her out LMAO) and while musing over what pokemon would suit her best, it came to me.

FARIGIRAF IS JUST KAF'S FURSONA!! the monster teeth hoodie with the eyes. even has the dangly bits. like come on it's perfect. AND girafarig is obviously available in gen 3 so i could RM a kaf girafarig and then evolve her once i got to SV. Cool! Awesome! but here's the problem. I CAN'T SETTLE FOR JUST A NORMAL GIRAFARIG. I HAVE TO GO ALL OUT!!

i started brainstorming my ideal gen 3 kaf girafarig, and came to the following conclusions:

i obviously want the girafarig to be shiny. i mean come on

i want her to be a girl for obvious reasons, and gentle nature to match her personality. just because Armor Tail is better on Farigiraf i also want it to have girafarig's second ability, Early Bird. i'm not concerned with IVs because i think random IVs add flavor and that would add more tedium than i was already dealing with

i want her to be japanese language origin since kaf is a japanese singer (i can nickname her かふ that way too!)

i want the original trainer (OT) name to be PPさん (PP-san) in reference to the person who scouted out kaf's talent in the first place - he goes by Piedpiper online and my friends and i call him PP as a joke sometimes

i want the trainer ID to be 02018 because 2018 is kaf's debut year

since girafarig only spawns in gen 3 in the ruby/sapphire/emerald safari zone, i wanted to hatch a girafarig egg in firered/leafgreen for the kanto origin, which is impossible otherwise. FRLG are also really important games to me, leafgreen being the first pokemon game i ever owned or played, so that's a bonus

now you may be looking at this entire list and being like. What the fuck. how do you intend to shiny hunt girafarig with all of these hyperspecific parameters, especially in FRLG where the everstone passing nature doesn't exist and flame body doesn't even exist to hatch eggs faster. you will be doing that long after bank shuts down. and you're intending on doing this on original hardware too??? WELL. that's where ACE and RNG manipulation comes in babey. i am GOING to attempt to make this comprehensible even if you've never touched ACE or RNG manip in your life, even tangentially, but sorry if this is a bit of a mess it's pretty technical LOL. the rest of this post is going below a cut cause it Goes Places!!

ACE and RNG manipulation explained (kinda)

first off a quick overview of ACE, ACE stands for arbitrary code execution, which is the ability to run your own (arbitrary!) code within the game. this can be set up with a series of elaborate glitches, that break open the gen 3 pokemon games into letting you run your PC box names as code, enabling you to do pretty much anything you want. to be upfront, i'm not an expert on ACE - i understand it in an overarching conceptual sense and am able to follow ACE guides just fine, but i cannot write my own ACE code, which essentially requires you to know some GBA assembly. doesn't really matter for the purpose of this story though.

you can see an example of a tiny snippet of a larger ACE code with the PC box name below. it looks like gibberish but that's because every character used in the name corresponds to a specific internal value, which when all run together, is code!

i need ACE in FRLG because resetting for, or RNG manipulating (more on that in a moment), trainer ID (and secret ID, also more on that later) is pretty much impossible. ACE will allow me to change my TID to 02018 by essentially just telling the game to do so with my PC boxes. this requires me to set up ACE in emerald first since that's the only game with a viable entrypoint, and then use emerald ACE to make glitch pokemon that can activate ACE in FRLG when traded over.

as for RNG manipulation, that's a bit more straightforward, especially if you've ever watched a speedrun of... pretty much anything with random chance in it. games with random chance are not actually fully random because computers can't really be fully random, and in the older pokemon games with unencrypted and less advanced RNG (random number generator) algorithms, this is pretty easy to exploit.

this is a heavy simplification, but whenever you encounter a wild pokemon in RSE or FRLG, the amount of frames that have passed since the game was turned on are compared to a number that was generated upon boot, called the RNG seed. if you've ever played minecraft you can compare this to world seeds - the pokemon RNG seed determines all possible wild encounters in that play session in a similar fashion as minecraft determining the infinite terrain layout. this comparison determines every aspect of an encountered pokemon; its species, nature, IVs, and so on. so, if you were able to time your wild encounter (or any other type of pokemon encounter) down to the 1/60th of a second frame, you can get the game to spit out whatever pokemon you want at you! you just need a bit of typically invisible information first - the RNG seed, and if you're RNGing a shiny, your secret ID aka SID, which is like an invisible second trainer ID generated alongside your TID that is paired up with the TID and compared against any pokemon you encounter to determine if it should be shiny or not. both of these things can be figured out without hacking or tampering with games/save files.

the most common program used for all things RNG manipulation is called pokefinder and you can see an example of it spitting out what shinies are available on hoenn's first route in the first 100000 frames of the game being on with an RNG seed of 0 and my old TID/SID combo below. it's pretty damn cool to me tbh, i love RNG manipulation and i'm way more versed on it/experienced than i am with ACE

TLDR; rng manipulation is essentially a frame perfect, speedrunning-adjacent trick to get the game to roll the RNG in your favor, including for perfect IVs or shininess. for reasons that will become clear later, this is much easier to do in emerald than any other gen 3 game, so i will be using emerald for the RNG manipulation of the girafarig egg

with ALL of that context out of the way, this was the gameplan:

play through a fresh file of japanese firered (i don't own japanese leafgreen, RIP) all the way through the postgame to unlock trading with hoenn with the name PPさん, not worrying about TID for now. the guide i was following did not have a code for changing name with ACE in japanese FRLG specifically, so i figured playing the game again real quick would be a better alternative to trying to teach myself assembly in an afternoon LOL

set up ACE in my new emerald file i completed recently

use ACE in emerald to generate the glitch pokemon needed to run ACE in FRLG and trade them over. finalize the setup process over in FRLG too

look up possible gentle, ability 2, female, and shiny egg frames, and pick one that looks good to RNG manipulate in emerald, noting its PID (an encounter-specific ID number, pretty much)

figure out what SID, when combined with a TID of 02018, will cause that egg frame to be shiny - that way when the egg is traded over and hatched in firered, it will be shiny

do the RNG in emerald, trade over the to-be-shiny egg to firered, and hatch it after changing the TID/SID with ACE appropriately!! bam female, gentle, early bird, shiny, JP origin girafarig with an OT of PPさん and a visible TID of 02018. Pog!!

to execute that gameplan would take me an entire day, though...

step 1: play through firered

ok gonna be honest this is the ONE part of this entire process that i did not play on original hardware. i wanted to get to the Cool Parts of this process so i decided to play through firered on emulator. absolutely terrible picture sorry but i do actually own japanese firered, so i could dump the game legally to my computer to use speedup in mGBA with a little device called the Joey JR which connects the cart to my computer by USB like so

after that it was pretty much a relatively normal playthrough but obviously with emulator speedup. i used solely my starter blastoise to, well, blast through the rest of the game LMAO. after just a couple of hours or so i was right before the elite four, which i completed while in the car after moving the save file back to my cartridge with the same device, since i had to leave the house to go to a doctor appointment. i tried to take pictures of me beating the game but the sun was not doing the photos any favors lol. blastoise ended up being level 76 by the end. was easy with surf and an ice beam TM from the game corner (i just bought the coins)

unfortunately beating the game isn't the only requirement for trading with the hoenn games, so i also had to complete the whole sevii islands postgame quest... which required me to have 60 registered owned entries in the pokedex, which i wasn't really doing while speeding through the game initially, so i had a lot of mons to catch. i was still out of the house at this point (and playing at normal speed lol) so i wasn't really taking pictures, but i did make a stop at the power plant to look for an electabuzz despite it being an inefficient 5% since i needed a spare anyways for my leafgreen file unrelated to this story lmao. took a pic of it since it took a while to show up. anyway soon enough the dex had 60+ entries! i've played FRLG so many times that the encounter locations are memorized in my mind... i did all of this with no googling asdfkasfd

at this point i got home and was able to do the ruby/sapphire postgame quest on emulator with speedup again, so it was pretty easy. moved the save back to cart and i was done with step 1! obviously this didn't actually take me 21 hours of playtime, that was the emulator speedup's fault loool. from here on out i didn't touch any emulators again!

step 2: set up ACE in emerald

ACE time! i've actually set up ACE in an old emerald file before but i wanted to do it again fresh. i was following a guide pretty much to a T so i'm actually going to skip over the details of some of the steps since you can read about those more in depth over at the guide i was using if you want

TLDR; you have to trade for the NPC trade pokemon, DOTS the seedot and PLUSES the plusle, then EV train DOTS a specific way. these EV values cause DOTS to turn into a glitch pokemon egg 0x0611 when corrupted with the pomeg glitch (more on that in a bit), which, when hatched, runs the PC box names as code, aka ACE! why does it work? if you really want to know, there's plenty of stuff online about it, i'm not the best person to ask haha

it's worth noting that volbeat is really annoying to capture in emerald as it's literally only available as a 1% in one patch of grass, so i caught an illumise instead and bred them until a volbeat hatched lol. was much more efficient

also lol "Take good care of DOTS!" sorry i will be corrupting your son into demonspawn that lets me wield godlike control over your universe

after getting the necessary NPC trade pokemon all ready and moving them into a specific pattern in box 2 (i cloned them with the emerald tower cloning glitch) i had to perform the pomeg glitch. this involves using a pomeg berry to decrease a pokemon's health to 0 without causing a whiteout. this is achieved by getting a pokemon with at least 8 HP EVs to 1 HP and then using the pomeg berry on it, decreasing the EVs and taking off a point of health in the process (it's slightly more steps than this but whatever). i decided to use the camerupt i had during my playthrough of the game for this purpose. just took him to fiery path to get poisoned and walked until he was on 1 HP and healed him with an antidote lol

by doing the pomeg glitch and entering a wild battle, the game gets a bit confused since all the pokemon in your party are fainted and just sends out some sort of glitch decamark pokemon. in this situation, after viewing my camerupt's summary in battle and exiting back out of the summary screen, i was able to corrupt the DOTS and PLUSES sitting in my PC by scrolling up above the usual limit of the party menu, which reaches into data used by the first two PC boxes and fucks them up, ending up with, assuming that i EV trained correctly, a glitched egg that is about to hatch in a nest ball named DOTS with pokerus. this will run ACE when hatched! (if you want more info on this corruption pomeg stuff, check out the bulbapedia article for glitzer popping. yes that's what they named it)

step 3: use emerald ACE to set up firered ACE

so once again you can find a lot more detail on this process over at the guide i was using, but the TLDR of the matter was, i needed to put a bunch of codes into my PC box names to generate a few different glitch mons. specifically, i needed a egg that would hatch into a crobat (yes, fully evolved lol) with a singular glitched out move, that when used in battle in firered, would cause ACE to happen similar to how hatching the corrupted DOTS egg causes ACE to happen in emerald. i also needed a specific buggy shiny umbreon and a very strange glitchy egg.

even though this step was mostly a lot of tedious typing on the gen 3 keyboard (+ i had to redo things once because i made a typo at one point in the process LOL) it was so much fun! the game breaks in so many ways that you would just... never see during normal gameplay and it makes for some really good pictures and whatnot

first of all, when you hatch the 0x0611 egg, it hatches into a decamark of varying colors, in the case of the picture below it's almost imperceptible because the whole sprite is just a black circle, blending in with the background (sorry for the quality on this one, it's a screencap of a video clip i took).

additionally, trying to scroll over the hatched decamark in the PC or viewing its summary screen will crash the game, so to get rid of it, it has to be moved to the front of your party in the party menu, and then you go to the PC to release it through the deposit menu. since the cursor just defaults to the first position of the party and you don't have to scroll over to it, it's possible to release it from here.

oh yes and the umbreon/other glitch egg? similarly screwy - actually after generating them, their sprites are glitched out until you reset the game, so they look like this. behold their nonsense summaries:

after i had all i needed to trade to FRLG, i cloned an extra set of them with the emerald tower glitch again just in case i messed something up and got to trading! here's me receiving them on the firered side:

and last but not least, i'm a little obsessed with the way the glitch move looks in FRLG on the hatched crobat, absolute nonsense:

i finalized setting up the FRLG ACE (check out the guide i linked earlier for more info) and put everything into their proper positions, but before i could actually execute any code... i needed to know what SID i was going for!

step 4 + 5: look up potential egg frames in emerald and find an SID

soo now for looking at potential girafarig eggs. instead of using the program pokefinder which i mentioned earlier, i used a program called pokenav egg rng tool, which is exactly what it sounds like, a tool specialized for rng manipulating eggs with the pokenav in emerald. using it, i was quickly able to generate a whole list of gentle, female, ability 2 (early bird) eggs, and i picked one that was around 1300 frames in since that made for quick resetting attempts, but not so quick that i could barely make my inputs in time. the one i picked was frame 1381. with a TID of 02018, the PID D2C5EF55 would be shiny with an SID of 14962, so i noted that for later in firered. (i figured this out using an old program called RNG Reporter which is what i'm familiar with but i don't recommend using lmao. it's the "Pandora's Box" feature of that software though if you happen to look it up)

i won't make an entire guide on how to do emerald egg RNG here because it's a lot of steps, but i might at some point because the most up to date method isn't super well documented. anyways, here's a very paraphrased version of the process (this is also assuming that you aren't dealing with "redraws", which i wasn't... like i said very paraphrased):

get a pokemon with the ability lightningrod in the front of your party (i used electrike) to make pokenav calls happen more frequently, and a pokemon with flame body or magma armor (i used slugma) to make eggs hatch faster

get a male and a female of the pokemon you want to hatch, in my case girafarig. if you were RNGing IVs, the parent's IVs would be relevant, but i am not RNGing IVs so i didn't care and just caught the first girafarig i could in the safari zone

an egg is attempted to be generated every 255 steps after the parents are deposited in the daycare together, so by timing the usage of a max repel in such a way, it's easy to save the game exactly 10 steps before an egg is generated. do this

using a timer such as eontimer, soft reset and try to take that last 10th step on your target frame. this will also trigger a pokenav call (or lack thereof) and by looking for the phone call you got in the call column of the egg rng tool and whether or not an egg generated at the daycare, you can tell what frame you hit. didn't hit your target? just soft reset and try again, calibrating the timer for your own human error. this can take a while since the timing is precise to 1/60th of a second

once you hit your target frame, woohoo you did it just take the egg and hatch it! if you're RNGing IVs you would actually save before taking the egg and then RNG the IVs separately but that's a whole different thing i'm not explaining here since i wasn't RNGing IVs

i've avoided mentioning it this entire time till now, but emerald is particularly easy to do rng manipulation in because due to a programming error, the rng seed is always 0 - all encounters are predictable and you don't have to dedicate a frame perfect input to getting the right seed, making emerald rng a matter of one frame perfect input instead of two (there ARE ways to get emerald to generate a proper rng seed but that's unrelated here). additionally, its pokenav system means you can see if you got the right egg BEFORE taking it and hatching it... doing egg RNG in any other gen 3 game is basically a death sentence due to multiple untelegraphed frame perfect inputs that have to be executed in a row, plus really long wait times due to hatching eggs on a slower bike without flame body. there's a reason i was not doing this on four island in frlg.

but yeah now i knew what egg frame i was going for and was all prepared to do the RNG, so now it was onto actually executing it all:

step 6: getting kaf girafarig babey!!

before doing the RNG manipulation in emerald, i needed to change my SID and TID in firered finally! this required me to run two different codes, one for SID and one for TID. it was actually pretty painless since the code is nearly identical for both, you just swap out the values of each ID and one character changes in one box name to decide whether you're changing TID or SID. you can find the list of codes i was referencing here.

i was saving my one allotted video clip in this post for changing the TID with the glitched crobat move though because LMAO

^ shoutout to my qpp @/spikyearr for this one i fucking chokedSKFDDSFK

anyway, after doing that i went through the process of the egg rng in emerald (unfortunately no pictures because it's kind of hard to take pics mid-rng) and actually saved before taking the egg so that i'd be able to soft reset after hatching it - i just needed to check to make sure it was gentle and everything, and then i could soft reset, take the egg again, bike around to decrease the egg cycles in emerald since hatching in firered is super slow, and then trade it off before hatching it to go be hatched in firered. i knew it wouldn't be shiny in emerald, so i wasn't concerned with that. it only took 40 or so minutes of attempts before i got her!

and then AT LAST after spending my ENTIRE DAY ON THIS SHIT (like 10x the amount of time on the ACE stuff for the TID instead of the actual RNG itself LOOOL) i just had to trade the egg to firered and hatch it and i was golden!!!!! AAAGH here she is next to my kaf plushies!!!

also a picture of her summary screen after being traded to my english leafgreen!! i am assuming this will be easier to read for most of the people reading this post LOL

THAT'S IT. POST OVER THIS WAS SO LONG. IF YOU MADE IT THROUGH MY RAMBLING GOOD JOB. I HIT THE PHOTO LIMIT HELP ME

anyways yeah i'm gonna be ribbon mastering her and idk i might post about the process as i go. not immediately though i have a platinum playthrough to finish teehee. also if any of this was interesting to you i highly recommend trying out RNG manipulation, it's a really fun way to play pokemon games! gen 5, BW specifically and not their sequels, is REALLY beginner friendly for RNG manipulation as the timing is a lot less precise. check it out, there's plenty of guides online!!

#pokemon #pokemon rse #rse #pokemon frlg #frlg #rng manipulation #arbitrary code execution #girafarig #ribbon mastering #kiki was here #kiki.txt #long post #kiki plays games

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bil-daddy · 4 months

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hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary)#have an ox rib (platonic)#bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #bildad the shuhite army #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #shutanic temple #bildad the shuite #bildad #bildad the shuhite #bilday #obstetrician thursday

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autisticlancemcclain · 11 months

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fic rec friday 25

welcome to the twenty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. ladies and gentlemen we are rocking in space by @mayerwien

LANCE do u like the taste of spam, van kieu because thats what ull get 1 glorious terabyte of def-not-garrison-approved viewing matl every hour on d hour

KEITH And now you’re blackmailing me. Wonderful. Look, I’ll tell you, alright? Not because your threat scares me, but because I’d like to cut this conversation as short as humanly possible.

LANCE glad ur being so cooperative ;) ;)

Lance gets a new flight simulation partner. Lance makes a bunch of mixtapes. Lance falls in love?

Galaxy Garrison + texting au. For the Klance Zine!

i can confidently say, in my 6+ years of being a klance stan, i have never seen anything like this before or since. this fic is AMAZING. completely new idea, hilarious, sweet, and totally untouchable. i’ve always love testing fics that are done right (bc theyre always funny), and does this one ever knock it out of the park! the dynamics are amazing and the rivalry is EXQUISITE. bonus of vietnamese keith and filipino lance, and this one line (it’s a spoiler so im not going to put it here) that actually knocked me out of the water. its about the CHOICE.

2. But You’ll Peek Through by Barkour

It's weird, the things you get used to when you've been stuck in space for years. How much you miss home. Socializing regularly with only six people. No wifi. Your cranky boyfriend.

this is one of the earliest vld fics ever written, and it has a CROWN idk. this fic makes me feel so many emotions all at once. like i miss u 2016 fic i miss u keith gyeong i miss u bitchy klance i miss u early voltron found family dynamic i miss u old lance’s family headcanons i miss u bamf team. rip to the earliest voltron fandom (also. how did this author know about romelle. in 2016.)

3. Pull Me Closer by @thewriter2

An ancient power dwells in Lance’s very bones. It hums a sweet song of the sea in Lance’s ear, calling him to the water. Keith’s bones are on fire as the very spirit of the flame lives in him. However, it’s these ancient powers that begin to pull them together; that shows them how to properly balance each other out

i SEARCHED for this fic. i made half my followers search with me too. this fic is bamf lance to the fucking max, and its AMAZING. how many of you have wanted waterbender lance so badly you could barely speak? firebender keith? if u said u didnt then ur lying. this fic has literally everything you could ask for in a canon divergence

4. The Homestead by @devooshawrites

Keith is hired for the summer to work on the farm of the McClain family. He and the youngest son of the family become good friends, though Keith might want more.

i am so fucking in love with aus like this. cowboy or farmboy where theyre quietly in love in their own bubble of the world?? i cannot get enough of them. i would read a million of them. this fic in particular is SO soft and tender, it is so so important to me. ive read it so many times. its one of those fics that brings a smile to your face that u literally cannot fight back

5. Prince Charming by @taylortot

Lance thinks that Prince Keith is just another stuck-up royal with an attitude problem until they spend some time together outside of the palace and he discovers that he couldn't have been more wrong.

Written for The First of Forever Zine!

this fic is SO tender it is sickeningly sweet. “rivals” to friends to lovers is so special to me, and no one does it like taylortot fr. love is stored in the tender moments away

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#i am almost out of my most favourite ever vld fics i will have to move to all my other bookmarks in a couple weeks!!#vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #modern au #historical au #bamf lance #vietnamese keith #filipino lance #fic rec #fic rec friday

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voiceofsword · 11 months

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do you have any brotps/friendships for rinne or niki ( since they seem to be like . the ones you think about most ) that you particularly like ? aside from the other bees ofc

YEAH!! under a read more bc its a little long :'3

roommates are a given, i think hikari dorm is perfectly balanced (chaotic) in its own way and that even tho the 3 of them are so different they also manage to get along really well. i cant take them seriously at all and i think thats part of their charm lol. they're all such Characters individually that together it just feels Normal. i can imagine the three of them sitting around the bathtub, kanata splashing around while hiyori paints his own nails and rinne gossips. its like if the golden girls were anime boys but theres 3 instead of 4 and none of them are divorced or widowed. so really nothing like the golden girls but im sure u understand...maybe

nihihi dorm is actually tied for my fave with gender dorm god i love them a ton, i think in part because i love nikis relationship with hiiro and how hes adopted him as his own younger brother, but also hinata. i think about niki cooking for them and having them try new dishes and them having movie nights or staying up all night playing games and even tho niki has work the next morning hes like (exaggerated sigh) fine ONE more game...but he loves it

i love both rinne and niki (and crazybs in general honestly) doting relationship on 2wink and im so happy they keep getting collabs .. in case they decide to give us more crumbs... plz. they feel like younger siblings to them. rinne especially makes me so soft because past his initial impression of being a bad influence and generally just pushing his luck on how much he can tease, it always feels like hes looking out for the two

otherwise i also rly enjoy how they both interact within their own circle (i feel like ive been wanting a nikis kitchen tour for the past 2000 years. i hope we get framed picture of izumi in one of the 3*s).

i rly like how rinne gets along with his kouhai both in asobi and craftmonster bc of the attitude he takes on, ive mentioned it in another post but w/ the former especially he rly just allows himself to be playful so much so that it almost takes the kids off-guard bc theyre like what..hes not as scary as we thought he'd be at all. i think the best rinne friendships are the ones where they set those prejudices aside and dont take him seriously at all lol bc that's when he rly starts to feel comfortable. this grown ass man running around playing games and doing arts n crafts with a bunch of 15-17 y/os (and shu i guess) is a funny mental image and it rly feels like he can let himself loose. conversely i also love when he's exasperated with his juniors bc then hes like oh right im an adult i need to set an example.. this is about U chill yellow

on the other hand i like how niki interacts with ppl a lot more "serious" than him i.e ibara, natsume bc he tends to like..soften them? ppl cant help but let their guard down around niki hes just.... himself. like even if theyre initially wary they grow to be like "oh wait this guy's really nice what the fuck"

i particularly like nikis kitchen circle bc its ppl you usually wouldnt see interact with niki but u can tell they want to impress him. its so sweet nikis just some guy who wants to share his love for cooking. also thinking about the difference between how ibara would interact with rinne and niki (harsher with rinne bc hes his Boss whereas with niki he's more accommodating, that one gordon ramsey meme thats like u donkey vs oh oh dear) is funny so even if theres not a lot of interactions for them i want to think ibara would let niki get away with just about anything

AND NIKI AND TETORA...IVE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS A FEW TIMES THOUGH... i have a huge soft spot for them. ritsu too. they get like 2 interactions (sweets hunter story, craftmonsters recent gacha) but ritsus humor is just so DRY and u can see niki be like (cogs turning in his head) Whar? its really silly ALSO HE CALLS HIM NIKIPYON....IS THAT NOT PERFECT... i need them to be friends

i like niki and mayois friendship, but its admittedly not my favorite; i like how niki feels like he can trust mayoi implicitly and how he tries to make him comfortable too — i think theyre both quite similar irt self image/esteem although they both go about it in different ways. their interactions can be sweet but one thing that stops me from enjoying them fully is how mayoi always seems kind of uncomfortable (and niki seems unaware of how/why he's uncomfortable) ;_; i hope that in the future the writers can let mayoi be more at peace around him, it'd be sweet!!

and atp i feel like ive talked enough about hiiro and rinne for it to not warrant having its own little ramble section here 😭

#mimthinks #im sorry this was not meant to be that long. im sure u expected me to just say the charas im sorry ;;;_;

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riki-dazed · 2 days

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heyyy its been a while since ive checked in! how are you? idk if youll see this/reply but make sure to eat enough and rest lots ❤️

sorry if this is too long if you dont feel like reading/responding i completely understand, just felt like sharing but if you dont want any long asks like this in the future PLEASE let me know cause i dont wanna send things that annoy you ofc 😭💕

i kinda came here to rant (?) but riki "protectors" are SO annoying. i posted a vid on tiktok saying that i wanted ni-ki, nothing sexual at all, just me thinking hes fine asf 😭 but ALL of the comments were like "he JUST turned 18" and "stop sexualising him!" which is so fucking annoying cause im literally a month younger than him am i not allowed to be attracted to smn my age? and i wasnt even thinking anything sexual at the time but ofc their mind immediately went to sex, if they werent telling people to stop sexualising him id honestly expect them to be the people behind riki smut accounts 💀

anyways thats the end of my little rant lmfao

- 🍡

hiii anon!! i'm doing well, thanku ♡ i'm just writing away today🤭 (idm long asks at all)

it must be the chronically online fans, cause why are they so.. i've been /protecting/ riki from horrible people for almost 4 years now, and even i knew to let others his age find him attractive back when i saw him as nothing more than someone i cared for and adored, like DAMN! 😭 these police officers need to focus on real issues

#riki-dazed anons

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allthefoolishdreams · 4 months

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hi! i hope you're well! for the ask game - 1, 10, 15, 18, 19, 21, 26 and 30? <33

(this is jeonghoneyss btw, i'm not sure if i mentioned before haha)

hi!! thank you, i am doing well, i hope you are as well!! <3

What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

Something new I tried this year was non-linear narrative (in my minchan divorce fic), I've always loved non linear narratives since its an interesting way to tell a story. I think so far its turning out well! although it is based on a story so that did help make it easier. Either way, I would absolutely love to write more non linear narratives if I come up with an idea that it'll work best with

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Honestly? I don't know! Out of the ones posted this year, I think maybe the superchan fic might have been my happiest to work on. I do know working on you are strange always makes me pretty happy as well (when i'm not hit with writer's block)

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

I have only posted 4 fics this year and I know you have read 2 of them, so I'll just rec the other two: chansung fic (which is angsty and about commitment issues and complex feelings regarding relationships but i enjoyed writing) and this minchan fic (which is a bob's burgers au and just overall a silly and fun time)

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

without a doubt it was my spidey minlix fic, I just didn't know what to call it even when I had the first chapter completed already which is unusual for me because by the time ive written that much I have title ideas already. I'm not sure if you read the author's note but i did almost title it "spider-boy (king of thieves)" which is a taylor swift lyric because it fits far too perfectly but i decided to search it on ao3 and saw that a lot of the fics using that as a title were spider-man aus which made me scrap the idea so fast. I ended up scrolling through Black Cat and Spider-Man panels + looking up Black Cat quotes for inspiration and decided that i really liked the line ""You are strange, my love. I guess that's why I find you so irresistible." and shortened it because I thought the quote would be such a fitting line for minlix considering they are both strange (affectionate) <3

19. Share your favorite opening line

if I keep it to fics I posted this year, I think my favorite would be from my chansung fic: At a young age, Jisung learns just how easy it is to pack up your life and leave it all behind.

I feel like it fully captures the main vibe of the fic

Also, here's one for fics I've written this year and not posted. I'm cheating here by giving several lines but here's the opening for my jilix songwriting fic because I really like the opening paragraph:

The first time Jisung meets Felix, he’s struck by how gentle and kind he is. He’s mesmerized by his voice, like everyone else is; the deep, smooth tone and accent. The clumsy way he stumbles over his Korean in a way that makes it obvious he’s still learning. And he’s especially mesmerized when he starts to show off his vocal abilities, the range he’s capable of. It’s something else entirely. Perhaps, more importantly, he’s mesmerized by his bright grin despite how prickly Jisung is towards him, which isn’t necessarily anything personal, he’s prickly towards everyone. Unlike the others though, Felix brushes it off and continues to ask questions like he doesn’t genuinely mind how closed off Jisung is; he's never annoyed or scared of him. All while offering him bright smiles each time they interact. And it’s a beautiful smile.

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

I can't think of any off the top of my head. I do think a lot of my favorite dialogue I've written is from you are strange, especially the minho and felix conversations when they're bantering in their respective alter egos, it's always so fun for me to write. Their dialogue in their civilian life is very good to me too, but I don't think I can choose a favorite. I also remember enjoying the group discussion from chapter one when they're discussing Spider-Man since it was so fun to write

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

I don't think I have any specific satisfying writing moment, but I guess seeing my word count on ao3 go up so much just within the year was pretty satisfying to me especially since like i mentioned i only posted 4 new fics

30. What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

I'm not gonna lie, my goal is just to finish all of my wips. But I do want to write the batman!chan fic thats been brewing, I havent started since I know it'll become a monster of a fic and I'm trying to prioritize finishing my current superhero aus before starting a new one lol. which reminds me, I have Thoughts on other superchan side stories, other than the felix one so thats also on the list, so far nobody has pointed out the Minho (or Hyunjin) name drops in chapter one of superchan which goes along with my thoughts regarding the au. Another thing I want to write is that seunglix christmas fic I mentioned before, I'm thinking of writing it out in advance for next december

Also, not going to lie, all the descendants talk makes me want to dabble into fic for it but im not sure yet. We shall see!

(thanks for the ask <3)

#jeonghoneyss #🔮; you seek information

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jeysbvck · 1 year

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i've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night (but now i see daylight).

a/n: hello im back on my adrian bullshit. its crazy how almost a year ago i got back into posting my fanfic thanks to adrian, and now almost a year later, adrian has pulled me (albeit maybe temporarily) out of my writers block! PLEASE REBLOG

summary: 4 times you & Adrian almost kiss, & the 1 time you do.

warnings: tooth-rotting fluff, teenage angst, best friends to lovers, new years kiss, mention of threesomes, vague mention of canon? any mistakes are all mine, ive tried to proof-read three times!

word count: 8.4k

14.

"Seriously? You haven't had your first kiss yet?!"

You rolled your eyes and threw a pillow at Adrian, who occupied the bean bag opposite you. "Shut up, it's not like you've had your first kiss either!"

Adrian threw the pillow back at you and smirked. "Actually, I have had my first kiss." He replied, smugly. You scoffed and raised your eyebrow.

"You do know that your pillow with Princess Leias face taped to it doesn't count, right?"

"Ha, ha. I know you're trying to embarrass me, and it won't work." Adrian said, then he mumbled, "I know it doesn't count."

"So who was this kiss with then, loverboy?" You asked, with a smirk. You were confident he was lying, but you weren't sure why he'd be lying. Adrian had been your best friend since you were seven, he had no reason to feel embarrassed around you, and there wasn't anything you didn't know about each other. Until now, apparently.

"Ashley Carter." Adrian shrugged.

"Seriously? Ashley Carter? Obsessed with horses, always wears those weird t-shirts with the horse puns on them?"

"So what! She's pretty, and she thinks I'm cool."

Your body began to burn, your cheeks especially, and you turned away, crossing your arms over your chest. "I think you're cool." You said, huffing slightly. You saw Adrian grin smugly out the corner of your eye and you sighed. "What?"

"Kinda sounds like you're jealous. Did you want to kiss me? Oh my God, did you want to kiss Ashley?!"

Your whole body felt like it was on fire as the embarrassment overwhelmed you. You certainly didn't want to kiss Ashley Carter, so were you jealous that everyone seemed to be having their first kisses, or were you jealous that you weren't Adrian's? You frowned at the thought and shook it off, you definitely weren't feeling that.

"Are you alright? When you're quiet like this, and have that look in your eyes, it usually means you're not alright." Adrian observed, and you nodded. "I didn't mean to upset you, if I even have. I was just teasing you."

You smiled slightly, you always forgot just how much Adrian picked up on. He may not read social cues and situations all too well, but he always knew when something was wrong; you still hadn't figured out how to hide it from him, no matter how much you'd tried over the years. "I'm fine, Adrian. Why didn't you tell me about your first kiss? We tell each other everything."

It was Adrian's turn to sigh, and he shrugged as he tried to sink deeper into the bean bag. "I don't know, you hadn't told me about yours, so I didn't think this was something we were gonna talk about."

"Of course it is, Adrian! This is prime best friend talk! Who else are you gonna talk about it with, parents?!" You replied, earning a chuckle from Adrian, which made you smile. "Besides, I didn't tell you because I haven't had it yet."

"Duh! I know that now, stupid." Adrian retorted, earning another pillow to the face from you. "I just assumed you'd had your first kiss; I'm very surprised by it."

"Wow, you're surprised that the girl whose only friend is the kid who ate glue hasn't been kissed yet?" You raised your eyebrow and Adrian sat up straighter.

"Hey, it was one time, and I was young and stupid back then."

"You were eleven!" You exclaimed.

"That's younger than fourteen!" Adrian exclaimed back, and you fell into a fit of laughter.

"You're an idiot." You laughed, and Adrian grinned triumphantly. "Yeah, but you love me anyway." He replied.

You rolled your eyes affectionately as a comfortable silence fell between you both, with only the sounds of the radio softly filling the air in the treehouse.

"You know...if you wanted...I could be your first kiss." Adrian said. Your eyebrows knitted together, it almost sounded like he said-

"I'm just saying, we're best friends, who else better to have a first kiss with?"

You let out a nervous chuckle, before raising your eyebrow. "Adrian Chase, do you want to kiss me?" You laughed.

"Why is that funny? Like I just said, who else is better for your first kiss? At least you know I'm not gonna run off and laugh about it afterwards behind your back!"

"Oh my God, does that happen?" You squeaked and Adrian nodded, his eyes wide.

"It happened to Matthew Barton. He kissed Millie Sawyer under the bleachers during PE, and by lunchtime, everyone knew he was a terrible kisser and they were all laughing at him."

You sunk further into your bean bag, hoping it would somehow swallow you up, but to no avail. "God, maybe you're right. Maybe this is the best way to just...get it over with."

"That's the spirit!" Adrian encouraged.

"But aren't you supposed to do it with someone you like?"

Adrian's expression fell into his sad, puppy dog face- that he perfected two weeks before his eighth birthday- and pouted at you.

"I like you, don't you like me?"

"For God's sake Adrian, like like!"

"Well, we love each other, right? We say it all the time. So...technically, that's stronger than like like!"

Adrian was making a lot of good points, and honestly, it wasn't like you hadn't thought about what it would be like to kiss Adrian before, but you never thought it would actually happen. You didn't even know if you wanted it to happen. You'd heard all your cousins stories about how awful their first kisses were, even your mom and dad had their horror stories; so wouldn't it be a cute story to have, that your best friend was your first kiss?

"Alright fine, let's do this." You said, and Adrian made a gleeful sound. He scrambled up off the blue bag bag and grabbed your hands, pulling you off your purple one with all his strength. You were suddenly very aware of how sweaty your palms were, and you hoped Adrian didn't notice, or at least didn't mention it. Thankfully, he didn't, he was too busy rambling on about something that you couldn't hear over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears as it begged to be released from its cage.

Adrian pulled his hands from yours, only to put them on your cheeks, like your face was in a vice. Your eyes widened as Adrian leaned in slowly, oh this was really about to happen, you were about to kiss Adrian, and were you feeling...butterflies? As you closed your eyes, anticipating his lips on yours, your heart got faster, it was happening, you were about to have your first kiss...

"GUYS? ARE YOU UP HERE?"

You shrieked and pulled out of Adrian's grip, sending yourself colliding into the small table behind you, sending soda and chips flying everywhere, which ended up on you, who ended up in a heap on the floor.

Your moms head peered up through the hatch on the floor. "Dinners read- oh hon, what happened this time? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Mom. We'll be right down." You replied. Your mom looked at you, then at Adrian, who was trying his hardest to keep his laughter at bay. She shook her head, then disappeared back through the hatch.

Adrian took two large steps towards you and offered you his hand, but you rejected it, and pushed yourself off the floor, brushing the chips off your clothes. Adrian picked some out of your hair, before he grinned. He opened his mouth, but you clamped your hand over it before he could speak.

"We will never talk about this again." You warned, and he nodded, his eyes sparkled with amusement. You removed your hand and headed down the hatch.

"I mean it, Adrian, not a word."

16.

"Honey, I'm home!!" You heard Adrian shout as he climbed up the ladder. You wiped the tears from your eyes, but stayed curled up on the pull out couch that had replaced the bean bags last year. "Hey, I got your text, oh, you're crying. What's wrong?"

"Aaron broke up with me." You told him. "He was using me to make Megan jealous, and it worked, so they got back together."

Adrian sat down on the floor next to the couch and stroked the back of your hair. "Well, at least Megan was jealous of you, right?" You turned your head and glared at Adrian, who blinked behind his glasses. "What?"

"My boyfriend used me and then dumped me, and you think I should be happy because Megan was jealous, which means his horrible plan worked?!"

"Whoa, okay, no, that's not what I meant!" Adrian protested, bringing his hands up in mock surrender. "But, come on, you and Aaron were never gonna last."

"Wow, please, keep going, you're doing an amazing job." You said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, if your goal is to make me want to throw myself from this treehouse."

"Oh, you're being sarcastic." Adrian realised, and groaned as you covered your face with a pillow. "Again, I just meant that Aaron is a fucking dim-witted meathead who doesn't understand anything that doesn't include throwing or kicking a ball."

"But he's so handsome!" You groaned, before you started laughing. "You're right, why didn't I realise it wasn't real? Why would Aaron want me?"

Adrian pulled the pillow from your face and frowned at you. "Aaron Tully doesn't deserve you. You're smart, and funny, and pretty, sometimes a little mean, but in a fun way, and you took me under your wing, even after I cut your hair."

You laughed at the memory. Seven year old Adrian was sat behind you during reading hour. You don't remember feeling him cut your hair, but you do remember him tapping on your shoulder and handing you a fistful of your ponytail. You started crying, wailing even, and Adrian was sent to the naughty corner. The teacher calmed you down with some extra milk and cookies, and when you were feeling better, you took the cookie you had stuffed in your pocket to Adrian. "You're an idiot." You told him, and he grinned as he took the cookie from you.

"Who just cuts someone's hair instead of talking to them like a normal person?" You asked and Adrian shrugged.

"It worked didn't it?"

"So far." You replied, with a teasing smile.

"Okay, move up. We're watching a film." Adrian said, as he turned to grab the laptop from the table behind him. You sat up and swung your legs round so Adrian could sit next to you.

Half an hour into the movie, and you were pretty sure you were going to die of boredom. Adrian had chosen some action film, and your eyelids were heavy, drooping every so often before you jerked yourself awake, or Adrian made a noise at the film. You couldn't help yourself though, and soon your head was on Adrian's shoulder. He felt stiff, like he wouldn't, or couldn't, move, but his eyes stayed glued to the film. Were you pushing a boundary? You had both slept in the same bed hundreds of times, even shared the same sleeping bag on camping trips, was this different somehow? You lifted your head up slightly, to ease Adrian up, ignoring the rejected feeling in your chest.

"You, uh, don't have to move." Adrian told you, his voice a little louder than a whisper and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. He looked nervous, his eyes still fixed on the laptop screen, but you could tell he wasn't paying attention to the film.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." You replied, matching his tone. You weren't sure what was happening, but something in the air had shifted, as had Adrian. He was now staring at you, with a look in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. It was then you started to notice just how handsome Adrian was getting. He had always been cute, but he was now handsome, and you pouted; how long until other people realize too, or even worse, Adrian himself realizes he doesn't need you anymore?

"You are the only person who you could never, ever make me feel uncomfortable." Adrian replied. "I don't know what I'd do without you, I think I'd last less than a day!"

You giggled and shook your head, "You're an idiot." You said, and Adrian grinned. Neither of you had realized how close you had gotten, so close that you could feel Adrian's breath on your cheek. "Adrian, what are we doing?" You asked.

"I don't know, should we stop?"

"I don't know." You said. The truth was, you didn't want to stop. After you almost kissed when you were fourteen, you had both stayed true to not talking about it, but you hadn't been able to stop thinking about it. For two years, you had been confused about your feelings for Adrian, you didn't know if you had a crush on him, or if it was just a weird teenage feeling. You'd been feeling a lot of things recently.

"I think I'm going to kiss you now." Adrian whispered, and your stomach exploded with the bubbly, butterfly feeling.

"Okay." You whispered. You closed your eyes and held your breath, and Adrian leaned forward ever so slightly...

You both jumped as your phone vibrated loudly against the wood floor. Adrian toppled off the couch as you reached over and grabbed the phone to answer it.

"Hello?" You answered, completely out of breath, your heart racing.

"Are you home? I forgot my keys." Your dad asked.

"I'm coming dad." You replied, practically throwing yourself down the treehouse hatch without looking at Adrian.

"Thanks, love. Did I interrupt you?" Your dad asked, once you opened the door and let him in.

"No, don't worry." You replied, before muttering under your breath " I think you stopped me from making a mistake."

18.

You had no idea how this party got out of hand. You had only invited a handful of people, yet you had a house full of people, most who you didn't know. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, apart from you; being the hostess wasn't like you were thought it would be, instead of drinking and having fun with your friends, you were running round making sure nothing was broken, or being stolen. Not to mention, you hadn't seen Adrian all night, which was completely bumming you out.

After the hundredth time of shouting at a random joke for almost breaking your mom's favorite vase, you had hit your breaking point. You grabbed a plastic bag from under the sink, filled it with snacks, then snatched a bottle of vodka from the island -one that you definitely didn't supply for the party- and headed to your sanctuary; the treehouse.

You hadn't been up there in a while, you'd been busy with your part time job at the library and figuring out what to do with your life. Your parents weren't exactly thrilled that you'd chosen not to attend college just yet, but at least they were being supportive. They'd even heavily suggested that you throw a party, that it would make you feel better, give you a chance to let your hair down. You didn't know why you thought it was a good idea, maybe it was because you were sick of missing Adrian, and it seemed like an easy way to get drunk.

You opened the treehouse hatch, rolled the bottle of vodka across the wooden floor, threw the bag of snacks in the same direction and hauled yourself up. When you turned around, you were surprised to see Adrian, sitting on the couch. It had been a while since you'd seen each other, and when you did, it was awkward. You couldn't speak for why Adrian was being distant, but you had been confused about your feelings for Adrian for a few years, and since the situation with Aaron, it had only become more so. Every time you saw him, your chest tightened and nausea hit. You were eighteen, how were you still dealing with these stupid schoolgirl crush feelings?

"Hey stranger." You finally said. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Yeah, sorry, it got a little crowded down there." Adrian replied, and you nodded as you pursed your lips. "Okay, what's wrong?" Adrian asked.

"Nothing, nothing." You insisted. "I just, didnt think you came, you know, I looked everywhere for you."

"Well, you found me." Adrian said. He was acting weird, he was averting his eyes, looking everywhere but at you. Everything felt like it was going wrong; you didnt know what you were going to do with your life, you couldn't throw a party right, and now your best friend of eleven years wouldn't even look at you.

You rolled your eyes and made your way across the treehouse, kicking the vodka over to the mattress on the floor. You threw yourself down and cracked open the bottle, welcoming the burning the vodka left in your throat. You offered Adrian the bottle silently, which he accepted, making a face after taking a large sip.

"Did you hear about Rebecca Marsh?" Adrian asked, passing the bottle back to you. You shook your head as you took another drink. Adrian got a glint in his eyes and he crawled off the couch and over to you on the mattress. "She got kicked out of Harvard!"

"Fuck off, no!" You squealed, and Adrian nodded furiously as he took the bottle from you. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know, something about a party that got out of control, drugs and the police were involved!"

"Oh, wow." You shook your head. "You know, you're supposed to dress up for a Halloween party."

"Who says?" Adrian asked, passing the half empty bottle of vodka back to you.

"Come on, you used to love dressing up for Halloween!"

"Yeah, when it was just you and me, and not a bunch of people I don't know who will judge me! Besides, your costume isn't exactly a game-changer is it?" Adrian laughed. "You look real good as a witch though."

You smiled slyly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. You weren't sure if it was the vodka, or your confusing feelings, but you were pretty sure Adrian was flirting with you. You took another drink from the bottle instead of replying, mainly because you weren't sure what you should say. Adrian didn't notice though, he just kept talking.

"You look real good in anything though. Maybe if I had told you more we'd still be close." Adrian mused, and you frowned. You put the bottle down and grabbed Adrians face, smushing his cheeks together as you stared into his wide drunk eyes with your own.

"Adrian, you are not the reason we haven't been spending time together. I've just been stressed, and confused and I thought-"

"Confused about what?" Adrian asked, his speech muffled slightly. You let go of his face and stood up as you took another sip of the drink, avoiding his gaze, and his question. "Hey, talk to me!" Adrian insisted. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back to face him.

You groaned loudly and rolled your head, cracking your neck as you did so. "It's nothing, okay! I just missed you, and I was beginning to think, after everything these past few years that-" You stopped and looked at Adrian, worry etched across his face as he waited for you to finish. "-I thought I was losing my best friend." At least you told him half the truth.

Adrian's eyebrows knitted together and he took your hands in his. "What? You think it's gonna be that easy to get rid of me? These past few years have been...weird, but that's just stupid teenager stuff, right? We'll always be okay." Adrian promised.

"Wow, when did you get so wise?" You chuckled.

"I guess all those years being around you rubbed off on me." Adrian said, and you rolled your eyes. "Oh, wait, hold still."

You did as you were told, and when Adrian lifted his finger to your cheek, your breath hitched in your throat and your eyes fluttered closed. He gently grazed his finger just under your eye, & when you opened them, he had an eyelash on his fingertip.

"Make a wish." He whispered. You blew the eyelash away, and Adrian placed his hand on your cheek

"Adrian...we're drunk." You warned.

"So? You don't wanna do this?" He whispered.

"I just don't think we should. It's not the right time." You replied.

"It never is, so why not now?" Adrian's finger traced your cheekbone, and you inhaled through your nose. Fuck it, you were both drunk, but it was clear you both wanted this.

Suddenly, the hatch door opened. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" You shouted, turning to the hatch, eyes wide as Melissa waved from the hatch.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt but....the police are kicking everyone out. You better come down." Melissa informed you, before waving and disappearing. You smiled apologetically at Adrian, before following Melissa. You felt deflated, like the world was against you and Adrian, that you were cursed.

21.

"Call Adrian. Call Adrian! Ugh, stupid phone!" You said to yourself. You had been on one your first -and last for a while- night out for your twenty-first, and of course you'd left your keys at home. Which would've been fine, if your parents hadn't locked the front door before going to bed. It was three am, and there was no way in hell you were waking them up by banging on the front door, demanding to be let in. You sat under the tree, and opened up Adrian's texts, before deciding to send him a voice note.

"Heyyyy, Adrian, bestie. So, I just got home, and I'm locked out of my house. I think I'm going to have to sleep in the treehouse, but there's a....thirty...no, eighty percent chance that I'm going to fall off the ladder and die. On my twenty-first birthday. Figures, right. I don't know why you didn't come tonight, but I wish you had, I wanted to spend my birthday with you, especially since I'm...you know, that thing we're not discussing for some reason. Anyway, hope this does wake you."

You hit send, then stood up, kicked off your heels, and climbed up the ladder, slowly. It took you ten minutes to get up the ladder, and once you were in the treehouse, you flung yourself onto the floor. "Oh my God, I didn't die!" You said gleefully to yourself. You crawled across the floor to the mattress, and got under the very fluffy blanket on top of it.

You couldn't believe Adrian hadn't turned up tonight. You wanted to be mad at him, to shout at him and make him feel guilty for missing your big milestone, but you just couldn't. It was hard to be mad at your best friend, when you knew you were leaving town. It wasn't for long, a few months, at least, but it was a good worming opportunity, and those didn't come round often when you weren't in college. You and Adrian hadn't spoken about it, apart from when you initially told him. He'd acted supportive, he'd told you to go for it, that he was proud of you, and he gave you a hug; a hug that felt like he didn't want to let go. But then, nothing. He didn't bring it up, and neither did you, although you really wanted to. You wanted to tell him that nothing was going to change, that he'd always be your best friend, but you couldn't bring yourself to bring it up.

"Okay, I'm guessing your up here, because your shoes and bag are on the grass down there."

You pulled the blanket from over your head and grinned as Adrian peered over the hatch. "What are you doing here? It's three am!" You asked, and Adrian held his phone up.

"You sent me this very drunk voice note about how you were about to possibly die while climbing into here."

"I did? Huh, I don't remember that. Weird." You shrugged and lay back down on the mattress. "Hey, come join me. We won't be able to do this for much longer."

"Don't remind me." Adrian muttered as he joined you under the blanket. You lay on your side and stared at Adrian as he settled under the blanket. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm just looking at you Adrian."

"No, you're looking at me like you looked at Orlando Bloom when we watched Pirates of the Caribbean." Adrian replied. "Why?"

"I'm not meaning to!" You said, a little too loudly. "I'm just- when did you get so pretty?"

Adrian just stared ahead, and you in your drunk state weren't sure if you'd actually said that out loud. You hadn't meant to, but you also didn't regret it, and you would absolutely repeat it if he asked you to. Besides, you were drunk and leaving in three days, if Adrian didnt want to see you again, he didn’t have to. Even if it would break you.

"You're drunk." Adrian finally said, and you scoffed.

"Two things can be true, Adrian. You're my best friend, if I can't tell you that you're pretty, who can?"

"You're right. I've never been called pretty before." Adrian said, a hint of red spreading across his cheeks. You beamed, and you pinched his cheek softly.

"Well, you're the prettiest." You told him. "Can I ask you something?"

Adrian turned his body to match your position, "Shoot."

"Why didn't you come tonight?" You didn't want to ruin the mood, but it had been eating at you all night, it was a reason you got as drunk as you had. Adrian took a deep breath, staring intensely at you.

"I had to work." He said. You let out one single laugh, and rolled your eyes. "What? I did!"

"That's such a weak excuse Adrian. You've been avoiding me for ages now, I just thought it would be different tonight, considering it's a pretty big birthday!"

"I'm not, I mean- I just- ugh!" Adrian turned to face the ceiling and put his hands over his head. "I'm trying to get used to not being with you!"

"Oh." Your heart sank and a lump started to form in your throat. "We're still gonna talk everyday!"

"You say that now, but will we? Everything's changing too fast, and I don't like it."

You pulled Adrian's hands from his face and turned his head to you. With your hand on his cheek, you shook your head. "If you think I can go a single day without talking to you, you're an idiot. I need you, Adrian. I've only ever needed you."

Adrian's breath hitched in his throat, and he ran his tongue over his lips nervously. I'm gonna do it, you thought, it's now or never.

You leaned forward ever so slightly, your hand still on Adrian's face. He watched with huge, wide eyes as you came closer, his eyes frantically darting to your lips and back up. At the last second though, he turned away. "Don't."

You pulled your hand from his cheek and stood up, embarrassment and rejection had sobered you up completely. "I'm sorry, I thought you-"

"No, I do!" Adrian exclaimed, scrambling off the mattress.

"Yeah, it seems like it." You scoffed. "Look it's fine, let's just forget about it, okay? I've been drinking, it brought some stuff up, I misread, well, everything. It's whatever."

"It's not whatever!" Adrian groaned, throwing his arms up. "Of course I've thought about it, I have for years! But you're drunk, and I'm not, and it's just not the right time!"

"So when is then? Because it wasn't tonight, and it wasn't three years ago, so when is?!"

"Then maybe there isn't a right time. Maybe we missed it."

You had always thought that Aaron Tully had broken your heart at aged 16, but that was nothing compared to how you felt right now. "What are you saying?"

"That maybe we missed our chance." Adrian confirmed. "Maybe we were doomed from the start."

"Right, yeah." You tried to swallow lump in your throat, but it just got bigger, and you turned away Adrian, refusing to let him see your eyes filling up. "I should go." Adrian said softly, and you nodded your head.

Adrian threw himself against your back and wrapped his arms around you. "I'll come see you before you leave, okay?" You nodded again, not able to trust your voice. Only when you heard the hatch close did you let the tears escape as you crumbled to the floor.

25.

You were talking with your aunts when you saw him from across the room, and your heart almost exploded. After three years of not seeing him, he was a sight to behold. He hadn't changed, not really, he was still the Adrian you grew up with, but there was something different about him; you just couldn't put your finger on it. Your aunts pulled you back into the conversation, but you weren't paying much attention. You interjected with little mumbles and murmurs of acknowledgement here and there, but you couldn't take your eyes off Adrian as you watched him greet your parents. Then your eyes met, and you waved slightly. Adrian grinned, and you swear it brightened up the room. You reciprocated the smile, and got back to the conversation just in time, as one of your aunts began to ask about your job.

You made it to eleven before you could no longer deal with your relatives. You loved them very much- and when your parents told you they were throwing a New Years party, you jumped at the chance to come home and see everyone- but if one more person asked you about your relationship status, you'd drink yourself to death. So after another depressing conversation about how scarily close to 30 you were and how scarily single you were, you slipped out into the back garden and climbed up the ladder to your old favourite space.

It had been years since you'd been up here, even when you were spending weekends at home, you avoided the treehouse like the plague, you wouldn't even look at it. It reminded you of Adrian, and although you called each other and texted all the time, it hadn't felt the same since your twenty-first birthday. You pushed at the hatch and hauled yourself up, and as you turned around, you almost fell back down the hole in fright.

"Fuck! Adrian, you scared me!" You yelled, and Adrian jumped up.

"I'm so sorry! You know how I am with parties, and I thought I'd see how this place was holding up without me." Adrian said. He ran his finger over the coffee table and held up his dusty finger. "Looks great."

"It has been a while since it's been used." You said. "Dad had the idea to tear it down, but I wouldn't let him." You replied. "That's not the only thing that's been a while."

"What are you- Ohhhh, us! I mean- just that it's been a while since we've been face to face."

"Yeah," You chuckled. It was awkward, and you absolutely hated it. How had it come to this? You were once inseperable, a package deal, and now you could barely be in the same room together. It didn't help that he looked so good. His glasses now framed his face, and they didn't hide his stupidly beautiful eyes. "Hey, you want a drink?" Adrian asked, and when you wavered, he tilted his head and frowned. "Oh come on, it's New Year, have a drink!"

You smiled and took the bottle of beer from Adrian, and you noticed that his once stick-thin arms were now huge. You gulped and licked your lips and turned away from Adrian before heading to the window. Was it hot in here? Adrian followed and sat next to you, tilting the bottle towards you. You clinked the two bottles together before taking a drink, and you sighed. "So, how have you been?"

"Good, yeah. I'm still working at Fennel Fields, and I've even got a side job too."

"A side job? Doing what?"

"Oh, just stuff. Remember Christopher Smith?"

"Guts friend? The racist guy who calls himself Peacemaker? Isn't he locked up?"

"He is. But we became friends before he left. We used to hang out and everything." Adrian said, and you frowned.

"Why are you hanging out with him? Adrian, he was such a dick to you, and to everyone else in school! What could you possibly be doing with him?"

"He's changed, mostly." Adrian insisted, and he ignored when you rolled your eyes and scoffed. "Well, anything else new?" You asked.

"Not really. I've had some threesomes here and there, but-"

You chose the wrong time to take a drink, and you spluttered as you choked. Adrian began to slap your back, and you batted his hand away. "You've had threesomes?! With who?!"

"Me, Chris and who-"

"Nope, no, stop! I don't wanna know!" You shouted, covering your ears with your hands. "Oh God, I need something stronger than beer right now."

You could feel the jealousy bubbling up inside you, and you needed to push it down, quick. The thought of Adrian...you didn't want to think about it anymore, but it was all you could think about. Between that revelation, the way he looked and the feelings you were battling to keep at bay, your mind was melting with inappropriate thoughts.

"You alright?" Adrian asked, and you nodded.

"I'm just, uh- I'm just thinking about my ex." You replied, quickly. When Adrian groaned, you scoffed. "What's your problem?"

"I just don't want to hear about your sexual conquests." Adrian said, and you turned to him, your mouth agape.

"Oh, so you get to drop that you've had multiple threesomes since we last saw each other, but I mention one date and you cringe?!"

"I didn't cringe! I just-"

"You just what, Adrian? What could possibly-"

"I don't wanna think about you with other people!" Adrian yelled over you.

You opened your mouth to respond, but closed it instead. You smirked slightly and shook your head, before you looked around the grimy treehouse. Nothing had changed in here, apart from a few bits of furniture that had been changed, yet you and Adrian were different people now; in some ways at least. "Remember when we had a sleepover for Halloween, and stole all the candy for the trick-or-treaters?" You asked Adrian, who laughed loudly.

"Of course! Your mom was so mad at us!"

"Yeah, so were our stomachs!"

"The floor was never the same either." Adrian added.

"Okay, what's your favourite treehouse memory?" You asked. Adrian hummed as he pondered your question, and you took a sip of beer as you watched him. You couldn't stop the corner of your lip from turning up when you noticed he still scrunched his nose when he spoke; the way the corner of his eyes crinkled; the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating.

"Oh I know!" Adrian exclaimed, a sparkle in his eye, and you leaned forward with anticipation, your elbows rested on your knees. "When I was almost your first kiss, but your mom interrupted us, and you fell over!"

"Well, mines about to be when I throw you out this window!" You gasped and laughed. As Adrian smirked at you, you attempted to geab his arm, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him, resulting in you being on top of Adrian as he lay on the floor.

The atmosphere in the treehouse went from being light-hearted and fun, to serious and heart-racing. You bit your lip as Adrian looked up at you. You couldn't remember the last time you'd been this close, if you'd ever been, but you were afraid of moving, of saying or doing the wrong thing and ruining whatever this moment was.

"My real favourite memory," Adrian said, softly, almost like he was choosing his words carefully, "was when you made us watch that Heath Ledger rom-com."

"Wait a minute, your favourite memory, out of every single memory we've made in this place, is when I forced you to watch Ten Things I Hate About You?!"

Adrian shrugged and smiled shyly, a small blush forming on his cheeks as he stared up at you, with those adorable, wide eyes of his. "We were sharing a blanket and a bowl of popcorn on the mattress, and just as I realized you hadn't slapped my arm or tell me a fact about the scene in about seven minutes, I felt your head drop to my shoulder. I turned to look at you and you were asleep, it was adorable," Adrian paused, then added, "and the first time I realized I might be in love with you."

You sat up, forgetting you were on top of Adrian, and you stared at him, your arms crossed. "That…that was when we were seventeen. What- you- what? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were my best friend! I didn't know if I was just confusing my feelings, or if I was what I was feeling was real, and our friendship was more important than whatever I was feeling."

"So, why now?" You questioned, dropping your arms and posture from the defensive position you'd found yourself in, and as Adrian sat up, you found yourself completely on his lap.

"When I saw you tonight, I realized we'd spent too much time apart. I was up here thinking about you, building up the courage to come and speak to you. God, do you know how much I miss you? The phone calls and texts just aren't enough for me. I didn't tell you what was going on before because I was scared, and I didn't wanna lose you, and I told you I didn't think it was the right time. Turns out, I lost you anyway. I know too much has changed, but my feelings never did."

You didn't want to say anything, there were no words that could ever convey how you were feeling right now. Adrian's eyes were full of fear, he could barely look at you. There was only one thing you wanted to do, and you were going to do it. There was only one thing, one person who could stop you; you just hoped he wouldn't. You put your hand on his cheek and guided him to look at you.

"Adrian," you whispered, "this is the right time."

Adrian didn't waste a single second. He grabbed you by the hips and pulled you closer to him, and you held his face in your hands. As your lips finally touched, fireworks began to go off outside, illuminating you both as you melted into one another. Everything finally felt right, after eleven years and five attempts, the universe finally allowing you both the one thing you'd wanted for as long as you could remember.

"We finally found the right time." Adrian mumbled into your lips, and you grinned as he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours. "Happy New Year, babe."

You pouted for another kiss which Adrian happily granted. "Happy New Year, Adrian."

#adrian chase fic #adrian chase #vigilante fic #vigilante #adrian chase ive missed you #my writing*#peacemakernet

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