Tumgik
#its probably the former
wowitsverycool · 1 year
Text
sometimes i really vibe with disco elysiums brief moments of quiet apathetic misery that are distinctly intimate in the way they cradle you with melancholy’s ice cold hands. you almost want to savor the despair, pull it over you and be consumed by that awful, beautiful feeling of hopelessness. regret can taste so good. it’s a place other than the future, past, or present -- a realm of its own. time moves on, always ticking, travelling down one road forever, but here there is only sinking. to the depths of water you fall, the sound of rushing water so hypnotic and suffocating. a sensation in the back of your neck, the relaxing weight of resignation. as you’re anchored to the bottom, your mind detaches and floats to the surface. fine. you don’t need that here anyway. you don’t think, you only suffer. all that awaits you here is suffering. isnt it wonderful that you can predict everything here perfectly? there are no variables, just a buzzing in your chest aided by your concrete-filled lungs. it’s like they’re glowing. you once swam through your thoughts, but now you sink like a rock. she floats above it all, of course she does. she peers into the water and her reflection fragments in the waves. she can’t even see you. she would look away anyway. oh, beautiful, beautiful suffering, never leave me. all i have left is what you take from me.
that’s what it feels like to me anyway lol haha!!
63 notes · View notes
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
He was just being a silly little guy!
[First] Prev <–-> Next
1K notes · View notes
pinkeoni · 11 months
Text
WillEl Narrative Mirroring: Presenting Themes of Sexuality
If we consider powers as a means to present themes of sexuality, then looking at Will & El and how they mirror each other in narrative can reveal different angles on this topic and how the two sides of the coin come together to create a balanced whole.
Very very lengthy discussion of sex, sexuality, sexual assault, and child sexual abuse below the cut.
Will and El being different genders is important to their narrative mirroring, because they are displaying the difference between expectations in regards to male and female sexuality. Let's start with El and what her story says about female sexuality.
Layering the subtext behind supernatural elements is both practical and ethical, and I honestly applaud the Duffs for choosing to go this route rather than making it more explicit from the start, and instead sewing in details along the way. It helps keep the story digestible, allowing for a story like this to be shared to a wider audience while also not forcing their incredibly young actors to portray potentially very traumatizing circumstances.
I'm not the first nor will I be the last person to talk about all of the csa coding regarding El, Brenner, and the lab, especially here on tumblr. I was actually sent an anon awhile back linking a blog post back from 2016 that analyzed this exact thing.
"Eleven's interactions with 'Papa' are laden with coercive, coded language, intentionally leading viewers to make sexual abuse connections beneath the surface of the experiments we are shown. Eleven, vulnerable in a thin hospital gown, is told to "go deeper" and to ignore the men watching her perform. She is told the monster wants her, to go farther, "not to turn away from it." This language is intentionally loaded."
Girls are often forced into their sexuality at a young age, usually for the gratification of men
Young El, in hardly a hospital gown, is being forced to utilize her powers for the sake of Papa Brenner and other men in the lab. The sexuality/power connection is being established very early on.
And even once El has escaped the clutches of the lab and seems to find safety—
Tumblr media
And before I have fingers pointed at me, no I am not trying to vilify Mike for this moment nor any of the boys for wanting to use El's powers to find Will. It's more complicated than that. The boys were young, their friend was missing and in danger, and they were excited by the prospect of a real life superhero being able to save their friend. I'll also get into how Mike is a victim of this forced heteronormative relationship much later in the post.
But still, even without meaning to, the boys are reinforcing the role that El is expected to fulfill, which is to use her powers and sexuality in service to the men in her life
Something impressive about that blogpost I linked earlier is the rightful calling out of how gross miIeven is way back in 2016, when the two were considered America's cutest couple by the general public.
"Crucially, in the climax, after Eleven's body is once again used for others, Mike promises her a home, and Eleven shows a glimpse of light, is almost comforted. She'll have a family, she'll have safety. Promise? No, Mike says. She'll have their mother, but while she's wearing his sister's dress he explains she won't be a sister, that he wants Eleven to meet his desire for a girlfriend. How could he possibly understand that more boundaries and a boyfriend is the opposite of what she needs?"
Girls oftentimes do not see many options outside of their sexuality
Starting in season 2 El has two modes of thinking: girlfriend or superhero. Her line of thinking isn't helped much by Hopper, who keeps her isolated from outside world. And like the boys, this is a complicated situation. Hopper is keeping El inside for the sake of her safety, lest the government catch her and lock her up again, and either use her or kill her. Still, this isn't good for her personal development.
Whereas Brenner was the sexually abusive dad who forced his daughter into adult roles at a young age, Hopper is playing the role of the overprotective dad who doesn't want to see his little girl grow up, something that continues in season 3. In his eyes, he is keeping El protected from the men of the outside world who are likely to want to take advantage of her, and keeping her locked in is his way of preventing that. But doing so is damaging to El's psyche in ways he may not realize.
So El is kept locked inside with some of her few windows to the outside world being spying on the boy who wanted her to be his girlfriend, and spending the entire day on the couch watching romantic soaps. Her options regarding freedom are skewed.
When El gets her first taste of freedom and leaves the cabin, she's in girlfriend mode. We know this when we see her go to Mike and she misreads and becomes jealous of his interaction with Max. Now I won't deny that El and Mike do have genuine care for each other, but here she ditches a boy that she hasn't seen in almost a year because he seems to have found another girl to fill that girlfriend role.
Having been hung up on in the void and replaced, El changes trajectory: superhero.
Tumblr media
I do want to point out and emphasize the importance of El going to see Terry before this moment. El is not a robot that is programmed for sex and powers. She is very much human, and we see her desires for family and the life she could have lived, which is her motivation to seek both Mama and Kali.
Kali, another woman with powers who had been mistreated like her, offers El an alternative— use her powers against the men that have hurt her. When El sees that Kali is seeking her power as a means to use them, El leaves to save her friends and family.
I once again want to reiterate again El's humanity and her heart. El isn't returning to Hawkins simply as a means to become Mike's girlfriend and to become a superhero. She is doing so because she wants to save the people that she loves. Still, El's resolve for the season isn't super ideal given her overall arc. She is effectively fulfilling the roles that have been charted for her since the beginning. She learns that she can be a superhero and a girlfriend! Yay!
Tumblr media
With danger out of sight, El seems to be spending her time doing the only other thing she thinks she can do, kissing Mike in her room. An activity which is described by Hopper and the rest of the party as being "unhealthy" and "bullshit."
So what is the solution? Completely remove her sexuality as Hopper aims to do?
We now come to my favorite friendship in the whole show, as well as the most important character in El's arc—
Tumblr media
Max doesn't suppress El's sexuality or enforce it onto her, but rather is the first person who allows El to explore what she wants, offering her assistance but allowing El to lead the way. Brenner, Kali, Hopper, and Mike have all wanted to shape El into what they wanted her to be. For Brenner, a weapon. Kali, an avenger. Hopper, the perfect daughter. Mike, the perfect girlfriend. Max wants El to be whatever El wants to be. (God I love the elmax friendship so much)
Like I said before, Max does not aim to strip away El's sexuality like Hopper does. Hell, I wouldn't even say that she wanted to keep El from Mike. Hell, Max was even asking El if Mike was a good kisser after El had dumped him. Max is the one who offers to give El her moms Cosmo magazines. She isn't keeping El in the dark about sex and sexuality, but offering her a road map and actual information in order for El to come to her own conclusion about what she wants from it. El can look at pictures of Ralph Macchio and use her powers to spy but also enjoy shopping, listening to Madonna and reading comics.
When El is pushing her powers to find Billy, something that El choses to do of her own volition, it's the girls in her life (Nancy and Max) who advocate for her to lead the way while Mike is the one who wants to control her. And yes, once again the situation is complicated, Mike isn't doing this to be an asshole but out of concern for her safety, but needless to say he isn't beating the controlling boyfriend allegations. And this displays another facet of female sexuality—
Men often feel insecure when women exhibit ownership over their sexuality
Mike, who previously advocated for El to use her powers if it meant helping someone, is now actively pushing against it when it's El in the driver's seat and not him. And maybe Mike was right and El was pushing herself too far. And maybe he was concerned out of guilt for pushing her the first time, but would it also be too out of left field to say that Mike equates his part of his self worth on how much El needs him?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So maybe now I’ll talk about Mike
Mike really isn’t trying to be this malicious, manipulative guy who is using El for sex. Really, he’s not. Mike instead is a young boy who is going through some rather tough internal struggles of his own, and unfortunately brings El into it with him.
Mike is enforcing the heteronormative relationship onto himself just as much as he is doing it to El
I personally read Mike as gay and that plays into this analysis. Mike found a girl that he cared a lot for and everyone around him assumed that he must have feelings for her, so he played the role of the straight boyfriend. When I see Mike making out with El in her bedroom, I see a gay boy constantly trying to become attracted to his own girlfriend. Maybe if he keeps kissing her, maybe it’ll do something for him.
Keep in mind that Mike believes that that’s what El wants him to be, he’s not forcing onto her something that he doesn’t think she doesn’t want. He may have kissed her first, but then El was the one who tried to kissed him at the Byers house. Mike is mistaking El’s own confused feelings for genuine ones.
Being El’s boyfriend was Mike’s way of giving El what she needed, a way to be useful while simultaneously giving him a way to be normal. But what happens when his true feelings are starting to become harder to ignore?
Tumblr media
Remember that Mike wasn’t writing “Love, Mike” when he believed that El was doing okay on her own in Lenora and making new friends. It almost makes me wonder if Mike would have said “I love you” to El if she had told Mike she was in distress.
But then again, we do see El in distress in front of Mike and yet Mike still can’t bring himself to say it. It isn’t until El is quite literally on her deathbed that Mike finally works up the courage.
In season four we have El regressing into her superhero or girlfriend mindset, with a third option added— monster.
A pinkeoni analysis that mentions El’s superhero/monster dichotomy???? SHOCKER!!
When girls are not seen as sexually desirable, they oftentimes feel monstrous as a result
El doesn’t have her powers anymore, and Mike no longer sees her as worthy of being a girlfriend, which means that she must a monster. This is a thought that is reaffirmed through El’s treatment from her classmates, and later El’s intrusive memories regarding the massacre. The only way El knows to escape this monster label is to regain her powers using NINA. This is what El knows, how to become a superhero. This is how she becomes desirable again.
I think that Max’s distance from El is a good contributing factor. Not the only one, but a main one for sure. El no longer has that guiding force, and there isn’t a girl in Lenora that understands her disposition and seems willing to take her under her wing. Sure she has her new mom Joyce, who is usually on the phone. Or her new brother Jonathan, who is usually stoned. And her new brother Will, whom we see try an give El support only for her to shut him down with “friends don’t lie.”
So El goes through NINA, gets her powers back, learns she isn’t the monster after all, oh and her boyfriend can say “I love you” now. And yet, as El realizes at the end, it’s not enough.
I promise this post is also about Will too
Now is the part of the post where we shift gears and finally talk about Will. El has more screen time than him, so there’s more to cover. I also felt like discussing her first laid some important groundwork in regards to how Will mirrors her narrative.
El showcased a lot of facets regarding female sexuality. Will covers aspects of male sexuality, but specifically gay male sexuality, which is an important distinction.
What does Hawkins feel about gay men?
Tumblr media
Yeah, it’s not looking good.
Gay men are oftentimes perceived as predatory and dangerous
Will’s sexuality is practically an open secret. Will goes missing, and the town’s first thought is that he was taken by another gay man. Troy doesn’t say it directly, but the implication behind his words is that Will was raped and then killed, thus feeling the need to clarify that the man behind it was “another queer.” Gay men rape little boys and throw them into quarries, or so the town thinks.
The eighties is also such an important set piece for this narrative because the entire show takes place right in the midst of the Reagan Administration and the AIDS epidemic. A young gay boy dies and its suspected that another gay man killed him. The government is eager to sweep under the rug what actually did it. The anniversary of Will's kidnapping is Reagan's 1984 reelection date to the day.
Heterosexual men are treated differently on the basis of their sexuality
Well, duh. But I did want to highlight the differences between gay Will and his evil-straight-name-twin, Billy.
Tumblr media
Billy wears his sexuality proud and openly. Based on Max's dialogue in season 3 we know that he has sex with girls often. In his introduction we are immediately shown girls ogling him. He arrives in town and is instantly liked and regarded. He catches the eyes of the hot moms in town and he's liked by the other guys.
Oh, and he's racist, violent, abusive, and overall a total sack of shit.
We see Billy's sudden rise to popularity in the same season that we see Will's incessant bullying and him being branded "Zombie Boy" by what seems to be the entire town. Even Billy who's been in town for like a day is already calling him "the freak." Will is sweet, kind, friendly, wouldn't hurt a fly, but he's the weird homo whereas Billy is the cool straight guy with the nice butt.
Gay men's sexualities are often suppressed
So now we get to the part that exhibits the WillEl mirroring, as well as some “Will has powers” theoretics. I guess your willingness as a reader to continue forward may depend on your feelings toward Will with powers. I may lose some of you, or maybe I may even swing some skeptics with my explanation. As I say in most of my posts: bare with me.
If El's sexuality and powers are being forced upon her, then Will's sexuality and powers are being forcefully snuffed out.
Let's take a look at Lonnie Byers, in many ways similar to Papa Brenner and in many ways his antithesis. Both abusive fathers with silver hair, Brenner is the obsessive parent who wants his fingers all over his daughter while Lonnie is the distant parent who wants nothing to do with his gay son. Joyce's dialogue "Lonnie said he was queer. Called him a fag." indicates that his homophobia probably has something to do with his distancing. Lonnie's verbal abuse of Will was likely a method of trying to snuff out his queerness. And when that didn't work, he left.
(and if you wanna get theoretical you could say that he had connections to the lab, knew about Will's powers and was trying to get rid of them, but that's just speculative)
A big part of season one is the fact that the entire time, Will was in his own house. He was spending his time running and hiding from the monster that was in his own home, the one that wanted to kill him. And the only time he ever expressed himself, the only time he ever used his powers—
Tumblr media
—was when his loving and supportive mother encouraged him.
But also keep in mind that almost every time Will tries to speak with his mother through the lights, express more of himself and use more of his powers, it usually attracts the presence of the monster. Will continues his cycle of running and hiding until it doesn't work anymore, and we get what is perhaps the most overt sexual assault imagery in the show that even little fifteen year old Robin Pinkeoni picked up on in 2016.
Tumblr media
Season one ends with Will experiencing sexual violence, and in season two we see how this trauma is encroaching on his everyday life, as well as being stalked by the same man that took him and shoved a vine down his throat for the sake of reproduction. He follows Will to the arcade. He follows him while he's trick-or-treating with friends. He finds Will at home. Eventually, he finds Will after hours at school where he's able to reenter his body in the second most overt sexual assault imagery in the show.
Tumblr media
Where El's sexuality was suppressed in season 2, Will's sexuality was being forced upon
Will is feeling the effects of this assault for the rest of the season. He's finding it hard to sleep, and constantly feels the presence of the man who attacked him, everywhere.
Vecna is possessing Will because he wants to use him as a vessel to control help control his army, and for whatever other powers Will may have. If El never closed the gate, if Vecna had completely taken over Will's body as he originally planned, what would he have done from that point on? Would he have just discarded Will's body, or was there something special about him that he needed?
Will begins to believe that everything people say about gay men is true about him
Keep in mind that at this point Will's only experience and exposure to gay sex is being assaulted twice, all while his father and the whole town is bullying him and telling him that gay men are predators. Will isn't a predator. He isn't dangerous and we know this about him. And yet Will uses the freak label in a negative way.
Tumblr media
So it's no surprise given the internal and external that Will is suppressing his sexuality even further.
In season 3 El begins her journey of self-discovery and likes what she finds. Will knows exactly who he is
Tumblr media
and he hates it.
Will fucking hates himself bro. He knows he gay. And he accepts it. But he also accepts all of the labels and restrictions that it comes with. I am gay. My sexual desires are dangerous. I can never express and experience love and sex the way I want to.
And maybe there is a glimmer inside of him that sees that what he is is a wonderful thing, that maybe he does deserve better than all the abuse he's endured just for being who was.
Tumblr media
And maybe these feelings were easier to pack away when he was younger. Maybe it was easier to say "I'm not gonna fall in love" when you're fourteen, but as you get older and grow into your teenage years...
Tumblr media
...maybe your desires are getting harder to ignore.
What happens when you don't die innocent, and you grow up instead?
So we bring it around to season 5
El is a superhero and a girlfriend again. But it's not enough. Something is missing and she isn't fulfilled. Max is missing, and El is going to have to face and overcome her biggest challenge yet, which is completing her journey of self-discovery that started in season 3. She's going to have to put aside the expectations that many have for her and decide what she wants.
Will Byers is back in town. How has the climate surrounding gay men changed since then?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oh! It's worse now!
Remember, the town believes that the same sodomizing Satanists are the ones behind the recent murders and earthquake. It's gonna be really bad for Will when he gets back.
So now Will is tasked with a challenge that is harder here in Hawkins than it might have been in Southern California. Maybe Will can't change the minds of these religious townsfolk but maybe he can somehow find a way to shift his own way of thinking. Embrace who he is, embrace his powers, and realize that he deserves more than the hand he's been dealt.
So that was... a lot
Analysis mostly over. Here are some of my concluding thoughts.
I know that this is probably one of my longest posts ever. I know that a lot of it feels like reiterating plot points, but that really felt like the best way for me to articulate all of my thoughts on this. A lot of it needs to be backed up with evidence from the show.
Also, sometimes when I sit down to make a new analysis, sometimes I don't make it because I think I have all of the answers, but I make it as a way to try and find answers. To talk through some of my long and complicated thoughts and open the floor to discussion. Even with the length of this post, there is waaaaaaaaay more that can be discussed regarding this topic (some that has already been discussed).
To wrap everything up, I wanna share this screenshot from Reddit, which low-key inspired this entire thing. For context, this was in response to a question asking if people expected to see a Will coming-out scene in season 5.
Tumblr media
So, hopefully with this long ass post, I've proven that maybe the show is about the complex effects of one's sexuality in the 80's, actually.
454 notes · View notes
veikkoalen · 4 months
Text
polaris is math and order. hiss is organics and chaos. polaris is about the importance of the individual which comes with the progress. hiss is about the community above individual's will.
polaris didn't help dylan because she wanted jesse to succeed as an individual and not as part of faden family, because her nature is to be unique – and ultimately, alone. that's why hedron ended up being destroyed, darling sent to hell, dylan being abandoned – because polaris already has jesse, a single, most capable host who put herself into the most unique position – the director of federal bureau of control – by herself.
76 notes · View notes
Text
There is plenty of talk about adolin calling kaladin bridgeboy being a bit. Off. But something that continuously bugged me was that everyone outside of bridge four constantly calls them bridgemen long after they've been freed. Like these guys are your honor guard why are you still saying "bridgemen, come here." They aren't bridgemen anymore my dude
172 notes · View notes
martin-enjoyer · 2 months
Text
"it could've been worse. it's not like we're wrestling with tape recorders and manila folders." really? they're really- with the former archivists and the-? really?
23 notes · View notes
nerdy-hyperfixations · 8 months
Text
So.. I feel like, as a fandom, we’re getting dangerously close to making alternate versions of Simon and shipping him with himself.
53 notes · View notes
friendlifyre · 2 months
Text
loving jingrenheng is so wild you have to watch the fans of each individual pairing wanting to rip each other apart and being super aggressive over how their pair is better and you cant even disagree with most of their arguments because every relationship within really is that compelling you just dont see why you couldnt enjoy all of those dynamics at the same time
21 notes · View notes
brown-little-robin · 2 months
Text
How self-insert-y do I want to get with this new oc 🤔
20 notes · View notes
elytrafemme · 1 year
Text
hope that dsmp vol 2 flops so fucking hard & that a lot of the smaller CCs who got fucked over massively by dream and other large creators in dsmp vol 1 are able to enjoy other SMPs (i know aimsey is in area unknown iirc?) that r not tied directly to an incredibly shitty and disrespectful (at bare minimum bc u know i have a lot of fucking thoughts on dream) person. 
263 notes · View notes
derpinette · 3 months
Text
one way for a music performer to earn my full respect is if they carry out acts of self mutilation on stage
18 notes · View notes
hostilemuppet · 11 days
Text
Tumblr media
when it says "she used his troll hair to clean" and "being used as a scrub brush" does it mean that she literally grabs him and picks him up and uses him as a brush by herself or that she orders him to clean and hes like yes maam right away maam
11 notes · View notes
staffs-secret-blog · 1 year
Text
Either @/divine-rights-of-king is the best parody account on the planet or they're fucking insane and I can't quite tell which it is
162 notes · View notes
skeletalheartattack · 10 months
Note
re: your recent tags about the gameboy sp! that boy's got headphone adapters i POMISE!!!
Tumblr media
the magic of modern science. wow...
#ask#sapphicdroid#i did look it up to fact check myself after i reblogged the post and saw the adapters#honestly when i was younger i never knew it didnt have a headphone jack#granted the only time i ever saw one in person was on the school bus with a friend#he played pokemon blue on it and i dont remember the details of all that went on during#i mightve also seen another kid on the bus play pokemon emerald. i dont remember.#however that was my first exposure to gen 3 pokemon. as a kid i only knew about Red Blue Yellow and Crystal#my brothers had Red and Blue. and so thusly i have both games now. i... dont know where my copy of Red is though.#i have a copy of Yellow from Ebay but it loses its memory sometimes. which i think is why it was put on Ebay in the first place#Crystal however? well first i knew of gen 2 through pokemon stadium 2#we had both pokemon stadiums for the n64. or. well. still do have them.#speaking of. sure does suck to go through the gym leaders and elite 4 in those games. mostly due to how long rounds are.#emulated it a while back and i had to use the fast forward feature a lot#anyway. Crystal. somehow i got my copy from a random coat in a clothing store. just. in the pocket.#i dont know how i managed to find it. it was either in a coat my mom was looking at or i was looking through pockets... probably the former#anyway within like a week. a kid in 3rd grade stole it from me#i... think i got to the elite 4? i remember getting to the last dude with the charizard. forgive me for forgetting his name.#but like right after i had it stolen. i got on the bus and vented to my friend and he was like ''oh i have two copies of crystal''#and then gave his second copy to me. i forget if it was on the day of or if it was the next day.#anyway that same day it got stolen again. by the same kid. that kid stole so much shit from me#he switched schools the next year so i couldnt do anything about it#i have uhhh... soul silver now. so its not that big of a deal these days#anyway thank you for the ask :) i appreciate you telling me anyway
39 notes · View notes
vyeoh · 9 months
Note
I take it the gay marriage is going well
Neil gaiman supports gay divorce 🎉🏳️‍🌈
28 notes · View notes
thegrimreaperisanerd · 8 months
Text
"It's annoying how much of Disco Elysium fandom is shipping!"
I mean, sure, but somebody drawing smooches doesn't necessarily mean they didn't enjoy the haunting, beautiful writing; deeper messages; well-rounded characters; or the wonderful world of Elysium that was loving crafted over a decade then cruelly stolen by money-grabbing fuckwits
"I mean they're cops! And horrible people!"
Babes, I'm a Metal Gear Solid fan: I have been 👀ing at the fat tits of dudes who should be locked in a concrete box and dropped in the sea for the good of humanity long before 2019, as is the nature of faggotry
26 notes · View notes