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#jack IS the cold side of the pillow 24/7
midoristeashop · 1 year
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my moonlight
“I might not be good company”
“Doesn’t matter”
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bigtittydemonwife · 3 years
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The pasta’s love language Part 1
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Jeff The Killer 
Protectiveness
 this is the most obviously way the bastard man lets you know he cares about you 
Behind the asshole tsundere attitude and I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude about life lays another smaller asshole and buried deep under that lays the small boy that picked a fight with three bullies to protect his loving brother
Weather it’s him decking o**enderman for being creepy or saving you from a tricky last victim it seems Jeff always knows when your in trouble 
So low-key about it you never really notice his eyes on you until you’re being helped, and even then you never notice how they never leave
Jeff is like a dog, but not the loving wagging tail dog, the asshole that stands on your feet with his sharp claws, rips open your pillows and terrorises the mailman so much your mail is delivered by drone.
but he is also the dog that late at night sneaks onto your bed and whenever there’s someone strange approaching you on the street at night stands in front of you and bares his teeth 
Physical Touch 
Jeff’s love isn’t soft
Jeff’s love is as rough as he is 
Jeff’s touch is soft head-pats after you put someone in their place 
His touch is high fives after a successful mission where your hands linger together
His touch is quick side hugs before he goes off to go do something stupid 
Cheeky neck kisses in front of others to make you flustered 
fingers running though your hair or down your sides whenever he gets bored 
easiest way to get cuddled by this man? after a mission when he’s too tired to act like a tsundere  
Jeff is funnily like a cat in this regards, his cuddles are fun but he has to want to, otherwise it’s deemed as unnecessary
Defensiveness
Jeff isn’t a rational man 
So when he gets jealous his first response is to just stab the guy and run 
Ass a traumatised stubborn teen Jeff is quick to anger but he toe’s the line (aha reference) at when people disrespect you 
Is he an asshole to you all the time?
Yes
Is he the only person who can be mean to you?
Yes
Despite what everyone thinks Jeff does understand the difference between mean teasing and just being an asshole 
And if your someone like me who shows your love to people you care about by teasing and being mean to him he’s gonna understand if your friends are the same way 
What he does not accept is anyone who dares treat you like your lower than them 
thats when he pulls out his knife and commits stabby stabby 
Ticci Toby 
Physical Touch 
Unlike Jeff when Toby is in love he’s a touchy feely person
And once again unlike Jeff when it comes to cuddles Toby is most likely to be the one to initiate cuddles 
On a good day Toby recharges with touch
Most of the time he’s all over you 
His favourite way to cuddle is him on the bottom with you on his chest and your face buried into his neck 
If you cuddle with him like that theres a 97% chance you are not leaving any time soon 
He loves to hold your hands alot, Toby hands are an eternal mystery as sometimes their cold as fuck and others their super warm
After a really bad day when he’s had his alone time and recharged (which can take as long as a week) he just wants to lay with you a bit 
this usually happens when he’s burnt out (missions do not help) 
on days like that he wants to be held in your arms and rest his head on your chest
that way as he falls asleep he can hear your heartbeat and know your safe and alive 
Compliments 
Toby is an asshole, but he’s a lovable asshole 
And on a good day when he’s happy and in love he’s acting like a lovestuck school boy 
He’s the type to give you either the cutest nicknames or the weirdest 
One day he’ll call you love the next Mustard 
 His compliments are the sweetest thing ever because of how special they are 
instead of complimenting something basic about you (well not basic but well seen by everyone) he compliments you on some of the most obscure things that you didn’t think anyone noticed about you 
“I love how fast you talk when you get excited”
“I love easily you get along with sally”
“Your eyes glow in the sunset, it’s really pretty”
Ben Drowned 
Space
Ben is an antisocial person. 
He’s not bitter about it but most of the time he prefers to keep to himself 
Ben understands if his partner isn’t like that, but one of his ways of showing love is giving them space to be their own person 
While Ben does love to spend time with you and share interests and hobbies 
He is a human demon? ghost? thing that loves alone time 
And by giving you space and your own time alone it’s his way of letting you still have freedom to be you
Ben recharges his social battery with a quiet atmosphere so alone time or cuddle time is his favourite thing to do with you when he’s down
Don’t get me wrong he loves cuddles 
But that doesn’t mean he’s going to be clinging to you 24/7
Acts of service
Ben is a patient person 
Despite what people think all his years of gaming have taught him a lot about taking his time and how easier it is to get things done when he’s chill 
So he’s quite alright with doing things for people when they need help 
But even so he’s still his own person 
So he doesn’t usually do it for free unless it’s for someone he really cares about 
And that’s when you come in 
Ben is basically ready to do anything for you 
Will Jeff call him a simp? Yes, will he care? No 
In the end of the day he’s getting ass and Jeff’s not
Anyway 
You could ask him to hack the government for you and he would 
But basic shit is him bringing you snacks he stole from Jeff’s room when your hungry 
He just likes making you happy 
Physical Touch
Ironically enough in complete contradiction of the first one Ben actually loves spending time with you 
Not all the time, otherwise in his opinion the time he gets with you will feel less special 
But when either of you have a bad day he likes to either cuddle you and take a nap or hold you while you both/ he plays video games 
Ben’s a ghost? Thing so his body is always cold 
That’s one of the reasons why he loves holding you so much is feeling your warm body against him 
He likes to nap on your tiddys because 1) he’s perverted and 2) he likes to hear your heartbeat 
He finds the sound of it fascinating 
Sometimes he feels his pulse just because the shock of not feeling anything is fun to him 
Ben is probably one of the easiest pastas to date 
He’s like a house cat
Just give him attention and water and he can fend for himself all good 
Eyeless Jack 
Giving Gifts
Jack in love is a very very confusing thing 
Not because he’s contradictory but because the way he flirts sometimes ties into his demonic animalistic tendencies 
For example 
His gifts to you can sometimes be very sweet things that instead are normal gifts like flowers or chocolates but instead small things like breakfast in bed after a stressful mission (He may or may not use his acting like a doctor as an excuse yes EJ is the mansions doctor fight me bitch)
and then other times it’s organs like a heart or an eyeball, bones or a skull (sometimes animal) and sometimes even teeth, if your lucky most of the time once more they just belong to some pour animal in the woods 
and they say romance is dead
Jacks way of showing love is sorta a mixture of how some birds gift their mates things to flirt and how cats give their owners dead animals
He’s cute I swear 
Acts of Service
Unlike Ben jack isn’t going to drop everything to please you 
but once again the way he shows his love is more casual(?) (I mean he gives you dead things to show his love that ain’t casual)
and if he’s in a good mood/ had a good day then more often than not you’ll find yourself being spoiled in a completely Jack way?
You’re thirsty? He made you both coffee/ tea/ hot chocolate 
You’re on a mission and it’s raining? Take his jacket (not like he’s gonna die from the cold)
You’re hungry? Take a snack from his secret stash that no one else is aloud to go through (though most of the time it’s filled with organs)
Jack hates it when his lover is stressed so he likes to do whatever he can to help them out 
Physical Touch
I hate to sound stereotypical but Jack does this the most because he is extremely touch starved 
Trust me he’s not into PDA at all but behind closed doors he’s finding any excuse he can get to touch you ( with your consent )
he loves sleeping together because usually at night he’s reading or trying to piece together his broken parts
But when he’s holding you in his arms, and whispering how much he loves you in your ear when he’s sure you’re asleep he feels like he doesn’t to be whole 
that he can’t expect you to fix him at all, but being with you is enough to make him feel like instead of being broken, being fractured is alright 
But weather it’s his hand on your cheek on your hands laced together Jack likes to feel your skin against his 
fucckkkk I’m tired, this like took three days, you’re getting a part two when I don’t feel like my head’s trying to kill itself and no I did not spell check this nor will I ever as spellings for pussys and people who graduate school 
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incorrect-natshig · 3 years
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Do you have natshig fic recs? 👀
THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE ASK ANON TYSM💗💗✨
putting it under a cut bcs there's a whole lot more than you would've bargained for💖
The Blocked Hooligans by aphrodaisyacs (11.4k, single chapter) prequel
On January 24, Twitter users @diamond_dust404, @jackedfrost and @icespicebaby formed a group chat when they all got blocked by Endeavor’s official Twitter account. After nearly ten months of developing into a chaotic adoptive family of three, it all changes when Jacked Frost (Todoroki Natsuo) and Ice Spice (Todoroki Shouto) accidentally find out that they are brothers in real life. Clearly, the next step is to meet with their third member, right?
wii music by constellore (43k, 7/30 chapters)
If, five years ago, someone told Natsuo that not only was he going to find his long-lost older brother, but that he was also going to learn that his sister’s best friend was a villain, gain a sorta - kinda fake boyfriend in the leader of the League of Villains, and be partially responsible for the redemption of two of the most wanted men in Japan, he would have told them that they were nuts.
luminous things by cirriform (3k, single chapter)
Natsuo teaches Shigaraki how to fold paper cranes.
Bullet Wounds and Book Work by Mishafy (20.6k, ongoing)
Shigaraki Tomura, at Kurogiri's suggestion, joined a med school track to make up for the lack of a party healer. It just so happened that Todoroki Natsuo was taking the same online course.
The Todoroki In-Laws by aphrodaisyacs (30.6k, complete)
Over 10 years after the fight against the Paranormal Liberation Front, Rumi, aka the part-time hero Miruko and the proud wife of one Todoroki Fuyumi, decides it would be an awesome idea to create a groupchat with the significant others of the other Todoroki siblings. Maybe things would be easier if its members weren’t two Pro Heroes, a former one and a rehabilitated villain, but honestly, where’s the fun in that? (chatfic)
Lingering by thyandra (2k, single chapter)
Natsuo sighed, closing the fridge door. He was so immersed in his pointless musings that he didn’t immediately hear the furious buzzing nearby, muffled by a pillow as it was. That is, until the thing fell to the floor—Shigaraki’s phone, Natsuo recognized once he glanced that way. He shouted a call of his name, but only got a muffled grumble back. Shigaraki was no doubt too absorbed in his game to give a fuck about his still buzzing device, and Natsuo- Natsuo hadn’t really meant to catch a glimpse of the screen. (Tomura has Natsuo as his lockscreen. Natsuo finds out.)
Caught Me at a Record Low by nocturnalgf (9.8k, ongoing)
It starts, as many things do, in a dirty alley. Shigaraki is dying, probably, until Natsuo comes to help him. And after that, Natsuo can't keep himself away.
Shigaraki Tomura’s Walkthrough to Infiltrating a University, Getting a Boyfriend, and More by JajaLala (73k, complete)
In order to recruit Dr. Ujiko Daruma, his Sensei's old doctor who fled after his arrest, Shigaraki must infiltrate the university the doctor is now working at. Problem is, even when he and some League members enroll as students, they discover it's almost impossible to meet the doctor unless you're enrolled in his advanced seminar. Fortunately, Shigaraki meets Natsuo, a premed in Dr. Ujiko's seminar, whose trust he must earn to meet the elusive doctor. However, the two of them might have more in common than Shigaraki expects...
Snow Day by Sensationalcrazyna (700 words, single chapter)
Shigaraki hates snow, but he'll go for his boyfriend.
The Todoroki Family is a Disaster™ by Tigers101 (2.7k, single chapter)
The Todoroki family is a disaster, and family dinner is even worse. Or, Fuyumi is going to lose her shit because she's apparently one of the only sane ones.
we will dream of the sea by crumbsfiction (3.6k, single chapter)
It’s a mechanism of self-defense, after all - trying so hard to be liked. If he can gain Tomura’s approval, if he can prove himself to this group, Natsuo will be fine. It will all have been worth it, dragging his name through the mud in search of a ghost. Besides, watching Tomura comes easily - in fact, Natsuo barely has to think about it at all.
Hoodie by MangoQueen (1k, single chapter)
Shigaraki gets cold and Natsuo offers for him to borrow a hoodie
Dear Tomura, I Hate You. Now Let's Play Some Video Games by  IDealess_at_this (6.6k, ongoing)
Natsuo finds himself in the library after a terrible family dinner. However, after an unconventional meeting, he also finds himself being held hostage by the worst villain league ever. Getting revenge on his father while helping each member of the dysfunctional family through their struggles in the process doesn’t sound too bad!
and of course my beloved AUs💗
a coin to a crane by bittermoons (22k, 5/10 chapters)
Two ordinary (or so they think) high school students from Tokyo stumble upon another world through their dad’s dojo, leading to all sorts of bizarre consequences when they meet a cosplaying asshole of a kodama—a tree spirit—on the other side. Who knew useless video game knowledge and an unlimited cell phone data plan would come in so handy?
sugar and spice by bittermoons (4.7k, single chapter)
Shigaraki Tomura is a judge who hates soggy bottoms on The Great Japanese Bake-Off. Todoroki Natsuo is a stand-up comedian most famous on the web for making fun of his SO, who he calls 'Tanaka Taro' in all his routines. When Natsuo joins the crew of Bake-Off, online speculation explodes over his relationships with Shigaraki and Taro.
hazy days under august shade with you (it's all like magic to me) by constellore (8k, single chapter)
Natsuo is content living in the small village of Eadu, but when his brother becomes the victim of a curse, he's left scrambling for a way to undo it. Desperate for a cure, he manages to find the mysterious Magician of the Western Mountains—a man who raises far more questions than answers, especially when Natsuo finds himself volunteering to spend the summer in the mountains with him in order to aid him in breaking Touya's curse. Love had never been part of the equation, but between sweltering summer days and conversations in the dead of night, Natsuo can't say that he minds.
Love Comes Slow (and goes so fast) by Tigers101 (14.8k, single chapter)
"I’ve never been enough.” Natsuo's expression darkened. “I’ve always been the failure of a middle child, worthless and alone. I’ve never been anything to anyone." Tenko looked at him, his eyebrows creased in something close to anger. “Well, everyone else can go fuck themselves. You’re everything to me.” (natshig fantasy au + major character death)
Here Be Faeries by cafeanna (5k, single chapter)
“Terrible thing, terrible thing,” The burning man tusked and tisked. “Caught the eye of a Prince, gave a Name, and killed the King. Now he wears a crown of blooded amber and elk horn, and sleeps on a bed of thistle and roses. The King calls him frostbite, willow-boned, and beloved.” 
Natsuo Todoroki walked into the woods at the beginning of summer and never came out. A month later, Fuyumi and Shouto are left in the aftermath of a missing person’s case and a growing fear of the place they grew up.
Know That You Love Me (even when I lose my head) by Tigers101 (1.5k, single chapter)
“I hate you.” Tenko grinned. “No, I really don’t think that’s the case. You wouldn’t have saved me from homework if that were the case.” (natshig roleswap au)
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sullustangin · 2 years
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Fictober Master Post
I completed Fictober21!  I did all the prompts, and I did them on time.  That was my goal.  Here’s the rundown and links to everything I did.  Feel free to interact either on the AO3 chapters or the individual Tumblr posts, whichever floats your boat.
SullustanGin’s Fictober2021 Collection on AO3  contains the following:
1.  “I need you”  -- Corso and Risha, post-Eternal Fleet
2.  “You have no proof”/Flufftober Prompt: Sneaking out -- Theron/Eva, with Lana, sometime during KOtXX
3.  “I’ve waited for this” -- Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, and Bruce Wayne; DCAU
4.  “Fine, I give Up”/Flufftober Prompt: Fireworks -- Theron/Eva, minor mention of terrorism
5.  “I’m not saying I told you so”  -- Eva and Risha, early days of the search for Nok Drayen’s treasure
6.  “Didn’t we already have this conversation?” -- Hugh/Dot with Phryne and Jack, MFMM, sometime after Season 2
7.  "That could have gone better” -- Theron/Eva, with Satele Shan and kid!Shan, 37 ATC
8.  “This is it, isn’t it” -- Phryne/Jack, sometime after Season 3
9.  “There is no right side to this.”  Eva, Risha, Corso, Bowdaar; before Smuggler Story Chapter 2
10.  “It’s so quiet”/Flufftober Prompt: Pillow Talk -- Theron/Eva, a very mild M, 25 ATC (takes place 3 months after Nathema)
11. "I swear, it’s not always like this” -- Dot, Phryne, and the entire Williams family plus one pig; early days of Dot working for Phryne
12.  “You keep me safe” -- Theron/Eva, with Bowdaar and Miot the Sullustan, between Chapters 9 and 10 of KOFTE (Star Fortresses)
13. "The things you make me do” -- Carth Onasi, with F!Revan, Mission, Zaalbar, Canderous, and Bastila, on Tatooine (first planet after Dantooine)
14.  “Your information was wrong” -- Darmas Pollaran and Keeper, in between Smuggler Chapters 1 and 2.  This can occur at the same time as #9.
15.  “I like that in you” -- Theron, Marcus Trant, and Jonas Balkar, 10 ATC (after Lost Suns)
16.  “Not this again” -- Theron/Eva, through the years: 15 ATC, 21 ATC, 25 ATC, 29 ATC; vague reference to PTSD
17.  “I’m with you, you know that.” Theron/Eva, with Vette, Koth, Jakarro, and C2-D4, 29 ATC (takes place before #16) -- Mention of healthy pregnancy
18. “This was not part of the plan” -- Lana and Koth, after retrieving the Outlander, 21 ATC.  Not a happy fic.
19.  “I feel strange” -- Theron/Eva, sometime during KOtXX; references to drug use and sensuality
20. “That’s what I’m known for” -- Lana with Theron and Eva, anytime post-Rishi; silly fic
21. “What did I say?”  -- Phryne/Jack, sometime after #6
22.  “No Promises” -- Carth and Dustil, post KOTOR, implication of Carth/F!Revan
23. “This time, do what I say” -- Arcann, Koth, Lana, with cameo by Senya, sometime after KotET
24.  “Is this supposed to impress me?” -- Bruce/Diana, with Lex Luthor DCAU
25.  “Do you know what time it is?”  -- Theron/Eva and Lana, post #19
26. “I’m sure this has never worked, ever” -- Kid!Shans, with Theron/Eva, 44 ATC
27.  “You could have died!”/Flufftober: "I’m cold”; “Here, have my jacket”   -- Theron/Eva, with the smuggler crew, 3 months post #10, just before Ossus
28.  “I don’t have to explain myself” -- Jace Malcom, same time as #10, thoughts of Theron/Eva and Satele. Mention of Theron’s stupid haircuts.
29.  “Why are we whispering?”  Bruce and Diana and Clark
30. “Don’t ruin this” -- Carth/F!Revan, with Canderous; just before Leviathan
31.  “Take me with you” -- SWTOR/KOTOR crossover with Theron/Eva and Carth/f!Revan and Dr. Oggurobb.  Basically, my headcanon explanation for why my Revan isn’t Keanu Reeves.
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chaoticdean · 3 years
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(click on the banner for HQ, Tumblr somehow keeps fucking it up)
31 days and close to 39k words written later, here’s my Suptober20 master post! I can hardly believe that I managed to write everyday for a month, and I once again want to thank all of you for tagging along and being the nicest cheerleaders in the whole damn world. 💜
A special thank you to @winchester-reload​ for hosting this massive challenge and being the nicest gal around ✨
LINK TO THE SERIE ON AO3 | LINK TO MY TUMBLR TAGGED POSTS
(individual posts under the cut because this is a very long fucking post)
#1 — On the road again
The thrilling quest of gouda cheese — wc ~ 900 — Castiel is in charge of grocery shopping today, which could be a great thing if Dean could stop making him run back to the store multiple time. When his boyfriend decides they’re suddenly in urgent need of a special cheese, Castiel in turn decides he’s had enough.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#2 — Earth
A plastic and cardboard affair — wc ~ 1.2k —  In which Castiel suddenly becomes hyperaware of the looming environmental catastrophe ahead and decides to start changing things in the bunker, and Dean... Well, Dean is sleepy, AND HE JUST WANTS TO CUDDLE.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#3 — Demonic
Demonic skills — wc ~ 1.4k — Before Cas, Dean could always count on his abilities in bed to get him out of conversations he didn’t want to have. Now, though, not so much. (also known as “post-coital pillow talk with Cas”).
AO3 | Tumblr post
#4 — Branded
Etched into my bones — wc ~ 500 — Against all the odds, Dean is the one who suggests it. He claims it’s just a mean to an end, but Cas knows better. After all, he’s the one who gets to witness the man behind the hard shell he shows to the world every single day, and he’s grown to love the soft side of Dean Winchester. 
(Darkest Roads!verse)
AO3 | Tumblr post
#5 — Daydream
Dr. McHandsy and the curious case of the white lab coat — wc ~ 1.5k  — They’re on a case and undercover, and that’s reason #1 why Dean shouldn’t be sitting here drooling over his partner. But really, who thought putting Castiel in a doctor outfit would be a brilliant idea?! 
He’s gonna kill Sam.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#6 — Mask
A study in scotch and pampering — wc ~ 1.3k — If anyone had told Dean Winchester years from now that he’d be content letting his husband paint his face with foreign matter (not that kind of foreign matter, you kinky bastards) that smells like coconut and feels like whipped cream, he would’ve had the biggest laugh out of it. Nowadays, though, if that’s what it takes to get Cas to talk, he’ll do it in a heartbeat.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#7 — Domestic
The shirt in the dispute (and other laundry feuds) — wc ~ 2.1k — It all starts off with a sordid affair of mixed laundry, and somehow it’s World War III in the Men of Letter’s bunker (or the one where Castiel messes a batch of laundry up, and Dean’s Led Zeppelin shirt bites the dust)
AO3 | Tumblr post
#8 — Heartless
Ohio and the open secret — wc ~ 1.5k — Dean desperately tried to get Sam to pass on this case, hoping to finally get some alone time with his boyfriend for the first time in a while, but his giant moose of a brother decided to tag along anyway. Now they’re stuck in the same bedroom in Ohio, and Castiel is about to lose it, so Dean takes the matter into his own hands.
(it doesn’t go as planned)
AO3 | Tumblr post
#9 — Electric
Ocean waves — wc ~ 1.2k — It’s been 5 years now, and somehow they figured out their shit. A house on a the shore, a ring on their fingers, and despite everything Dean still wakes up to find Cas wrapped up in a panic attack on random nights, doubts and anxiety eating him alive. But they aren’t alone in the panic anymore.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#10 — Sweet Rides
Home is wherever I’m with you — wc ~ 600 — Until a few years ago, Dean didn’t have any home. He grew up in shitty motel rooms and inside the Impala, on the road and in-between schools. As he finally allow himself to fall into Castiel’s arms, he reflects on all the places he can call home, now.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#11 — Rock & Roll
Sharp Edges — wc ~ 1.6k — Castiel told him he loved him right before getting swallowed up by the Empty. Sam asked him to talk to someone, anyone really,, but words won’t come out, and how is he supposed to tell anyone how it feels to lose everything? So he writes. Letters on napkins, motel notepads, paperback books. He writes as he goes through every steps of grief, until finally there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
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#12 — Rewind
Leading me, going home — wc ~ 900 — Dean and Castiel reflects on their past and what they would say to their past self if they had the opportunity to rewind. (also known as “Castiel uses too many Harry Potter quotes, which gets Dean to prevent him from ever binging the movies again”)
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#13 — Ladies
The promise in the cocktails — wc ~ 800 — When a joke involving colorful cocktails designed to put his brother into misery turns into a promise for more steamy nights with Cas, Dean thinks he might have won the lottery (and God bless strawberry daiquiris).
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#14 — Fun & Games
A fever and the whipped boyfriend — wc ~ 1k — Being in love with a being as old as the Earth is all fun and games until said ex-angel gets sick for the first time of his entire (overwhelmingly long) life and turns into an actual, honest to god, gigantic baby. Lucky for Cas, Dean turns into perfect boyfriend mode. 
AO3 | Tumblr post
#15 — Third Eye
The blonde-haired witch and the little push — wc ~ 2.8k — It’s not the first time Dean’s ever had to listen to someone referring to Castiel as “his boyfriend”, but it sure as hell is the first time he has to sit through a diner listening to a witch referring to Cas as his husband without even batting an eyelash, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
Which would be fine if it didn’t cause actual shivers to run down his spine.
(or the one where a friendly witch gives Dean the little push he needs)
AO3 | Tumblr post
#16 — Switch it up!
The spices in the suit — wc ~ 1.7k — Dean doesn’t know when he started taking advices from Sam when it comes to his love life, but after tonight he thinks he might be more mindful of Sam’s wiseness in the future. Especially if it gets him all the way to the backseat of the Impala with a former angel in his lap.
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#17 — Autumn invading
Storms never come to stay — wc ~ 1.6k — Dean finds Cas in the wood behind their house, hours after they had a fight. They’ve been together for a long time now, yet fears still run deep. 
(Darkest Roads!verse)
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#18 — Dark & Stormy Night
The wayward gang and the questionable cocktail — wc ~ 1.9k — Castiel comes back to the bunker after a day on the road to find the wayward gang scattered over the map table for what appears to be a cocktail night. Sam wanted piña colada, but Dean Winchester bartender extraordinaire decided to go for something darker and stormier...
AO3 | Tumblr post
#19 — Pour one out
As days fade (and night grows) — wc ~ 1.9k — Castiel wakes up alone and cold, and decides that he’s had enough of Dean shutting him out. They’ve lost Jack, but it doesn’t mean they have to lose themselves too. 
AO3 | Tumblr post
#20 — Home
The fire in my bones — wc ~ 1.1k — It’s not a secret that Dean Winchester isn’t particularly good with words, but when he fucks up and unintentionally hurts Cas, he knows he has to do better.
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#21 — Fear
If I let you go, would you hold on? — wc ~ 1.6k — Castiel gets hurt on a hunt trying to protect Dean, and Dean is tired of having to wake up everyday not knowing if they’ll both be alive the next morning or if one of them is going to sacrifice himself to save the other. Finally, he makes a choice that will set he course of their future together.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#22 — “I cursed the gloom that set upon us, but I know that I love you so...”
Just a little rain — wc ~ 800 — Leave it to Led Zeppelin and Dean’s slow dancing skills to soothe the pain of letting your kid leave to tour the world.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#23 — Favorite
You feel like the sun on my face — wc ~ 700 — Dean awakes to Castiel sliding into bed after he just came back from a hunt, and somehow it’s kind of the best feeling in the world.
AO3 | Tumblr post
#24 — Family business
Wherever we are is where I wanna be — wc ~ 1.4k — It took them a few months, but once Dean and Castiel decide to move across the country and into a home of their own, everything falls into places. 
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#25 — Villain
The blue tie in the bathtub — wc ~ 1.2k — Dean has been a pain in the ass all day, so Castiel decides to drag him into the bathtub and tie his hand up the shower rail before teaching him a lesson.
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#26 — Walk of shame
And I would walk 500 miles — wc ~ 1.3k — The one where they think they’re being subtle, but they’re actually being really loud (and Sam happens to have functioning eyes, too.)
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#27 — Banquet
Drunk on love — wc ~ 800 — Dean’s analogies are usually spot on, but maybe he’s had a bit too much whisky to be clever tonight (or maybe the fact that Castiel’s mouth is currently glued to his throat is preventing him to think clearly, who knows?)
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#28 — Hellscape
Adventures in Christmas shopping — wc ~ 500 — Castiel wants to go Christmas shopping, and Dean being a very whipped thoughtful boyfriend decides to tag along. It doesn’t go well.
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#29 — Fragile
Anytime you reach for me — wc ~ 700 — A look into what sex used to mean to Dean before Cas, and how his world has been turned upside down ever since he got in bed with a former angel of the lord.
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#30 — Dress-up
Entertainment in soapy water — wc ~ 800 — Castiel just went down the garage to see what Dean is up to, but when he catches a flash of red right above the waistband of Dean’s shorts, it seems like his boyfriend might have dressed up just for him to see.
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#31 — Carry On
Scar tissue — wc ~ 1.6k — There are arguably a few things that Dean dislikes more than anything else in the world, but nothing compares to what it feels like to wake up in an empty bed in the middle of the night, and the insane bolt of fear laced with anxiety than runs through Dean’s chest when he realizes he’s got no idea where Castiel is.
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imagineaworlds · 3 years
Text
I Love You (Part Fifty-Three) -- Aaron Hotchner
Written By: @desperately-bisexual
Request: None.
Warnings: Cursing. Talk of PTSD, hostage situation, shooting, murder, bombing, physical trauma. I’m pretty sure that’s it!
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader
Word Count: 7900
Timeline: Season 7 Episodes 24. Right after part fifty-two.
Criminal Minds Discord Server
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As the sun began to set, a specialist came back in with my release form for Hotch to fill out while he talked to me about what the next steps for my recovery were. While Hotch worked on the form, we both listened to the endless number of rules I had to follow. They were giving me top notch pain killers to help with the inevitable constant pain I’d feel after the hospital’s morphine would wear off. I had to take two in the morning, two in the afternoon, and two before bed. I wasn’t allowed to take them on an empty stomach, and I wasn’t allowed to have alcohol at all— no cheating. After running us through the medication rules, the doctor handed me a piece of paper he ripped out of his notepad. I read the name, the phone number, and the address on it while he explained that it was the information of the best physical therapist in the state. He told me that if I were ever going to get better, then I needed to see him sooner than later. The longer I waited to seek out the proper help, or the longer I pushed myself without guidance, the higher the chances got of me fucking my back up forever.
“That isn’t to say that you can’t walk around at all,” the doctor backpedaled for a moment. “In fact, you should try walking around every thirty minutes or so. You can go up and down stairs, you can pace around the house, you can go on walks in the park. But no running, jumping, bending, strenuous exercises, bike riding— anything like that. The point is that you can do the bear minimum so that your back can start the healing process. If you ever start to feel the pain again, it means that you need to stop what you’re doing. You need to go lie down, put ice on your back, and relax. The ice will help with the pain and swelling.” The doctor turned to Hotch, “Your job over the next few months, Mr. Hotchner, is to make sure that they’re not pushing themself at all. If you notice that they’re trying to do something that they shouldn’t be doing, you need to stop them. Unfortunately, it’s going to feel like babysitting,” he addressed both of us, “but it’s for the best.”
Hotch’s phone started ringing. He apologized profusely while trying to dig it out of his back pocket. The doctor and I watched as Hotch stood, put the form down on his chair behind him, and hurried out of the room to take the call.
The doctor turned back to me. “Painkillers, rest, ice, walking occasionally. Got it?”
I nodded.
“That was Rossi,” Hotch explained, returning from the hallway. “Will and JJ are getting married at his place tomorrow night, apparently.”
My face brightened. I thought to myself, finally… The two of them had been together forever. I always figured that they would have gotten married before me and Hotch, but they had been holding off for some reason. Despite having Henry and being entirely devoted to one another, it took them forever to finally do it. I mean, the decision probably came with the aftershock of the day they just had, but still. This was great news—news that we needed when everything else seemed so shit.
“I want to go,” I insisted.
Hotch’s attention turned to the doctor. “What do you think?”
The doctor shrugged slightly. “I think it’s fine as long as you keep up with the medication, stay away from the champagne, and don’t attempt to do any splits on the dance floor.”
The three of us chuckled.
----
When we got home, Hotch helped me up the steps to the porch, then hurried to open the door for me. Just as we saw the living room, I caught a glimpse of Jessica and Jack on the couch, watching a movie together. I smiled. Home. I survived all that shit with The Face Cards just to come home, and I had never been more relieved in my life. As we stepped inside, I looked over at Scarlet’s bouncer to see that it was empty. She must have been asleep upstairs already.
“Mom! Dad!” Jack cheered as he pushed himself off the couch and sprinted over to us.
I crouched down as far as I could go and pulled him in for a tight hug, trying to lift him off the ground somewhat so that I could swing him around. I cringed slightly at the pain shooting down my back, but tried to hide it so that none of them could notice. Hotch was watching me like a hawk, though. My change in posture, my wincing face, and the groan that left my throat as I struggled to pick up Jack, all of that was apparent to Hotch. It wasn’t going to be easy trying to convince him that I was alright. Now I understood why he was always so annoyed with me after New York and Foyet.
“Be careful, bud,” Hotch warned. “Mom hurt their back at work today.”
Jack looked at me as I let him sit on my thigh as I stayed crouched. His index finger curled a strand of my hair loosely. “Are you okay?” he asked worriedly.
I nodded. “I’m okay, little man. I promise. How was your day with Aunt Jessica?”
“We went on a bike ride, then we played soccer with Scarlet—”
“Did you win?” I asked.
He nodded. “Of course!”
“Good job, little man.”
“Aunt Jessica took us for ice cream.”
I squinted at her, but she was laughing and hiding behind a pillow in order to avoid my playful glare. I looked back at Jack. “What flavor did you get?”
“Chocolate fudge.”
“Of course you did.” I kissed his cheek and stood up straight as slowly as I could, reaching for Hotch’s help when I felt my back sting again. I whimpered. He stepped closer to me and kissed my temple to comfort me. “Hey, Jack, Henry’s parents are getting married tomorrow. Do you wanna go with us?”
“Do I get to play with Henry?”
“Duh.”
“Yay!” He jumped forward to hug my legs. I was going to take that as a yes, then.
“Did you guys have anything besides ice cream for dinner?” Hotch asked, but it was more directed to Jessica than Jack.
She nodded. “I took them to Olive Garden.”
Hotch ruffled Jack’s hair. “Spoiled kid.” Well, that was what he deserved, considering we got called away for work at the last second on a weekend, as usual. “Why don’t you go upstairs and start getting ready for bed, bud.” Jack released me and immediately started running for the stairs. “Don’t forget to brush your teeth!” He kept running, though, pretending like he didn’t hear his dad. Really spoiled kid. Hotch dug his wallet out and pulled out some money for Jessica. “I’m so sorry again for today—”
“When will the two of you get it?” She laughed while standing up, gathering her things. “It’s okay!” She walked around the couch. “I love spending time with my niece and nephew. It’s not a job. It’s a chance to help them grow up.” She took Hotch’s money, but then quickly stuck it in his back pocket before he could catch her. “No money, no apologies.” She glanced at how I was leaning on Hotch to offset the chronic pain that was fucking killing me. “You okay?”
“Rough day,” I answered.
She threw her arms around me for a gentle hug. “Call me if you need anything else.”
“Thank you, Jess.”
“I’ll see you guys soon.” She parted from me and headed for the door. “No money, Aaron!” She closed the door behind herself.
“That woman’s a saint,” I told Hotch, walking with him through the house. “We don’t deserve her.”
“No, we do not.”
When Hotch and I headed upstairs, he held onto my hand, his other arm wrapped around my waist so that he could keep me steady as we carefully made our way up one step at a time. He was hovering too much. I was completely capable of making it up the freaking stairs myself, yet he wasn’t going anywhere. So, I just gave in. I let him corral me up each step and through the hallway, all the way down to our bedroom where he helped me lay down on the bed. He lifted my feet up slowly.
“Baby,” I whispered, catching his attention. He looked so worried, as if he had done something wrong or hurt me, which he hadn’t. I smirked at him. “I’m okay.”
He huffed and rolled his eyes at me before standing up straight and moving towards the closet to grab a few extra pillows for me. He slid one under my knees, two under my ankles, and he left a third next to me in case I wanted it for something else. When I was drowning in pillows, he hurried back downstairs to make sure that there was ice if I needed it. We were getting an ice machine that just needed cold water to make it run, but that wasn’t going to show up for at least another few days, so he was going to have to run to and from the kitchen every time I was in pain and needed ice on my back.
“Here, baby,” he whispered, helping me adjust so that we could get the icepack under my back. He kissed my temple. “I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
He kissed me again, recognizing that I was just being playful. After a moment of standing at my side, Hotch remembered that he had to get my medication around, so he hurried over to the bag on the dresser and started sorting all of the pills. I watched him carefully. I wondered if he was going to actually keep this up for the next few months or if he was going to forget about our deal back at the hospital and just let me back into the field once I was feeling a bit better. Could he really afford to keep an agent benched for months? I mean, we were barely holding on when he was gone in the Middle East and Emily was still… I don’t know… dead? Sure.
“You know, at some point, you’re going to have to realize that I’m not entirely bedridden. I’m going to have to leave the bedroom sooner than later.��
Hotch glanced over his shoulder and glared at me. “I will tie you to the bed, if it’s the only thing that will keep you there.”
“That’s less of a threat than you had intended for it to be,” I teased.
“Ha. Ha,” he said plainly. I chuckled in response. “Take these,” he told me, turning from the dresser to give me my medication. “I’ll get you some water.” He skipped to the bathroom, and I heard the sink run for a bit before he returned and handed me a half-full glass. He sat on the edge of the bed as I popped the pills and chased them down with the water.
“Tada.”
“You’re sure about going to the wedding tomorrow?” he asked, taking the cup back.
I furrowed my brows. “Of course.”
“I’m worried that your back—”
“Aaron, I’m going to be fine.”
“I said that after New York, too.”
“Yeah, but the difference is that I actually believe it.”
He rolled his eyes. “You know it’s my job to worry about you, my love.”
“I know,” I accepted, taking his hand and squeezing it. “I know. But, my love,” I teased back, “I can go to a wedding, and I promise I won’t break. I’ve already agreed to staying out of the field until I’m better, so just let me have this one.”
He huffed at the fact that he wasn’t going to win this argument before getting up to put the glass back in the bathroom, then head to grab our pajamas. He helped me out of my gross, dusty clothes and into his clean, cologne smelling sweatshirt and blue flannel pajama pants. I immediately felt cozy and relaxed. When Hotch tore off his shirt, I could tell that he was considering taking a shower, but he looked so tired, and he seemed desperate to stay at my side.
“It can wait ‘til morning.” He changed into his grey sweatpants then snuck into bed with me. He sighed. “I say we stay here for the rest of our lives.”
I nodded. “I agree.” We reached for each other’s hands, and I tugged to try to kiss his knuckles, but he beat me to it. “Sap.”
“Yup.”
We both stared up at the ceiling. We were silent, both of us just catching our breath, reflecting on the day. I could have lost him again. He could have lost me again. At what point was it going to get too scary and we would finally call it? I wasn’t ready to leave the field yet, and I was sure that he felt the same way, too, but it was something that we had to consider. I mean, we had to retire at some point. Right? We couldn’t do this forever…
----
The following evening was the wedding. Hotch spent the afternoon helping Jack get ready—making sure he actually showered, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and picked out an appropriate outfit. Towards the time when we were about to leave, I caught Hotch kneeling in front of Jack, teaching him how to properly put on a tie. I smirked and continued to spy into the room. I had a bad habit of eavesdropping on them, but who could blame me when those moments weren’t going to last forever? Before we would know it, Jack would be all grown up and heading off for college, and we weren’t going to get any daily memories at all. I had to make them count while I still could.
As for Hotch and I getting ready, I took longer than he did. Considering I was somewhat immobile, I spent most of my time going between getting ready and laying down with an icepack when Hotch wasn’t looking. I was wearing a pant suit, something simple and light. Easy to get on and off. I barely even bothered with makeup because it hurt too much to hold still while trying to get everything perfect, and I just kept my hair out of my face. Nothing too fancy. As for Hotch… I wasn’t sure if he understood that a few years ago, he would have worn a work suit or that brown quarter zip to the wedding, but this time around he was wearing a well fitted all black suit, and all I wanted to do was literally jump him. Every time I saw him walking around wearing just the dress shirt and pants—no jacket yet, I could see his muscles and abs, and I wanted nothing more than to just have him pin me down and fuck me. Fuck. It was weird to think how when I was told to not do something, I suddenly wanted to do it. Specifically, I wanted to do him. I supposed that was just the brat in me, though.
Before we were about to leave, I went to go check on Scarlet in her nursery real quick when I noticed that it was a total mess with all of the toys scattered around. I groaned quietly as I bent over to grab her koala stuffed animal off the floor. It hurt like a total bitch, and there was no good way to go about doing it besides making sure I went slow and easy. As I carefully stood back up, screwing my eyes shut and wincing at the pain on my lower back as I did so, Scarlet cooed in her crib. I tried to smile while holding my back with one hand and her toy in the other. She was staring up at me, waiting for me to pick her up or give her the toy— either way, she would have been content.
“Y/N,” Hotch whispered from the doorway, making me jump in my own skin.
I caught my heart as I turned to glare at him for scaring me. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.”
“Hotch—” I knew what he was going to say. I knew that he was going to give me a talk about how I needed to be more careful than I was being, but I really didn’t want to hear it, not for the hundredth time, at least. I was sick of people telling me what I could and couldn’t do. I could afford to clean up my kid’s room, alright. That wasn’t going to break my back. “It’s fine.”
He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but both of us fell into silence when we heard: “Mama” come from Scarlet’s crib. I froze in place, thinking about what could have possibly just happened. Maybe I misheard, or maybe Jack was calling for me from downstairs, or maybe he was watching TV and they said it, or—
“Mama,” I heard it again, snapping my attention to the crib. Scarlet was still smiling— almost giggling, actually— and she was dancing around on her feet. “Mama.”
“Aaron…” I mumbled, too scared to move a muscle, thinking that if I did, she’d stop saying anything. Hotch took careful steps towards me, also trying to not startle her. “Did she—”
He nodded. “Yeah,” he whispered back.
“Mama!” She did a “grabby-grab” gesture with her hands, reaching out for the koala toy that I was still holding.
Finally, a year old, she was finally talking, and of course her first word had to be just for me. Morgan wouldn’t believe it. I mean, statistically speaking—at least, according to Spencer—Scarlet was a late bloomer when it came to walking and talking, but she wasn’t entirely behind the curve either. Just yesterday, I had been thinking about how I couldn’t wait until she would start talking. How the fuck did she know?
I did a little dance, too, before handing her the toy. She fell onto her butt and gave the koala a Superman hug. Hotch and I chuckled at the same time. Mama. Yeah, I’d take that. I kind of wished we got it on camera or something, but I think it was better that it was in the moment and that Hotch and I were both there, taken aback by how shocking it was when it came out of the blue. My perfect lil’ bug… I laughed again.
----
“Uh oh, trouble just walked in!” Morgan cheered from the living room as we walked into Rossi’s house, the door having been left open for all of the guests. Emily and Garcia turned to see who he was talking about, and they all smiled when their gaze met me, Hotch, and Jack. “Where’s my goddaughter?” he inquired, walking over to me.
I rolled my eyes as he kissed my cheek and I hugged him. “Jessica’s watching her.” I turned and hugged Emily. “No more almost dying,” I whispered in her ear. “We need you here.”
She smiled shortly as we parted but didn’t say anything. As I hugged Garcia next, Morgan crouched down to talk to Jack. They were talking about the chocolate fountain that was in the dining room, and the next thing I knew, the two of them were running off together to go take a look at it. Garcia and I laughed before she insisted that she should go keep an eye on Morgan.
I turned to Hotch. “I am not responsible for his sugar high this time. You’re on your own, Agent Hotchner.” He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to his side. “I should go find Rossi and thank him for inviting us,” I told him quietly as he kissed my neck.
“No alcohol,” he warned.
“Yes, Sir,” I saluted to make my comment look innocent to Emily, though it was anything but innocent to Hotch. After I pecked his lips with a grinning kiss, I snuck out of Hotch’s arms and headed to the backyard so that he and Emily could talk since he said that she was acting off.
As I was wandering around in search for Rossi, I discovered that he was nowhere to be found. Somehow, our host for the evening had completely vanished. I shook my head. Well, I’d find him later, I supposed, and maybe Hotch would be free then to thank him, too. So, for now, I tapped Anderson’s shoulder, catching his attention, and I asked if he had seen Morgan around since I spotted Jack running around in the backyard with Henry, which meant that Morgan had disappeared somewhere.
Anderson pointed me in the direction of one of the rooms on the first floor that was acting as a coat room for the night. I thanked him with a smile. He waved me goodbye before taking his girlfriend Angelica’s hand and leading her outside to go meet everyone. It was so funny to see him with her because they reminded me so much of how Hotch and I used to be when we first started going out, and we were just so naïve, hands all over each other all the time, smiles constantly plastered to our faces, no problems between us yet. Life used to be so simple. Hopefully Anderson and Angelica wouldn’t get as complicated as Hotch and I were.
When I stepped into the temporary coatroom, I found Morgan hiding in the corner, sitting on a leather footstool, drinking a cup of scotch. He spotted me and forced a smile onto his face. “Hey, sunshine.”
“Hey.”
“How are you doing?”
I sighed heavily, taking a seat beside him. “Well, at least you don’t have to worry about me shooting you or Rossi for getting on my ass about not leaving the bank for the hospital the other day.” He furrowed his brows. “I’m leaning more towards shooting Spencer or Hotch are this point.”
Morgan chuckled. “That bad, huh?”
“You have no freakin’ idea. And I can’t even drink it all away because of the painkillers. So. Yay me.” I rolled my eyes.
Morgan didn’t respond, though, which was concerning. I half expected him to back up Hotch and Spencer, or maybe say something snarky about he was glad to be rid of me for a few months until the doctors could clear me again. But nothing. Even his smile faded into the unnatural silence between us.
My eyes pouted as I put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
He shrugged my touch away, which also wasn’t like him. “Nothing.”
Oh, yeah. Sure. Nothing. Recently, Morgan had a terrible habit of pushing everyone away because he thought that it would somehow protect us, but all it was doing was hurting everyone involved. He knew that he could tell me anything and I would always understand. He knew that I would always stand by his side and back him up, no matter what. So why was he so afraid to open up to me recently? Had I done something to break his trust in me? Was I somehow involved in this secret he was keeping? I just wanted him to give me some kind of answer so that I could stop worrying about him for once.
He sighed when he saw my mind churning. “I can’t tell you what’s going on because it’s not my secret to share. Is that okay?”
I nodded. “If that’s the case, then I won’t pry. But… I’m always here to talk, Derek. Always.” I tried to lighten the mood by joking, “Especially since I can’t go anywhere anymore.”
He chuckled. “Touché.”
Silence settled for a bit as both of our chuckles faded. Now, we were just staring at the wall together. There had to be something more for us to say, something that would lift his spirits. Oh—
“Scar said her first word today,” I admitted, biting back a smile because I knew that it would cheer Morgan up to hear the good news.
Morgan looked up at me, shock mixed with excitement washing over his face. “You’re kidding.”
I shook my head. “Nope.”
“Who won?”
“I did,” I smiled. He groaned, rolled his eyes, and dug into his back pocket for his wallet. I grinned as he gave me a ten dollar bill reluctantly. “Sucker.”
“So, this is where you’ve been hiding,” someone said from the door. Morgan and I both glanced up guiltily, as if we were two teenagers who got caught smoking pot at prom or something. It was just Hotch, though. Actually, no, that was too nonchalant for referencing him. It was Hotch, yeah, but he did, in fact, look like a stern and disappointed principle who had caught up smoking pot at prom. “I’ve been looking around for you.” He looked directly at Morgan to ask, “Have they been drinking?”
“Nope. They’ve been doing a lot of complaining about not drinking, though.”
Morgan poked my side, laughing at me in a teasing way, skipping towards the door, barely dodging around Hotch in time. He sent me a thumbs up for good luck. I groaned and hit my head against the wall behind me, looking at my husband out the corner of my eye as he took Morgan’s spot beside me.
“If it weren’t for your back, I’d have you over my knee right now for breaking the rules,” Hotch whispered in my ear.
I gulped. The idea sounded so appealing. I wanted nothing more than for life to just get back to how it was. I didn’t want Hotch to be scared to touch me, or to kiss me, hold me, fuck me. The next few months were going to be excruciatingly long without being able to have all of him. I was so fucking pissed.
“Mmm… and what if I were to be good for you right now…” I tried playing with him, sneaking my hand onto his thigh, making an attempt to work my way upwards towards his crotch, but he snatched my hand away. “Please, Sir. Something.”
“You behave, take all of your meds, work on getting better, then I’ll consider it—But only after the doctors say we can.”
“Come on, baby,” I pleaded with a pout. “We don’t need doctors to tell us how to be us…” I tried putting my hand on his thigh again, but he kept me away. “Aaron, I’m not going to break.” I instead moved my hand to his cheek. “I love you, I trust you, and I know that you would never hurt me, and I know my own limits when it comes to—”
“Y/N, stop, please,” he whispered. “Please. I love you, Y/N, and I want to do… I want to be us again, more than ever, but I just want to be 100% sure before we do anything. It’s only been a day. A day, baby girl… You heal fast, I know you do, but not that fast. One wrong move, and you might not ever go back into the field. Sex is nice and all, but it’s not worth it if that’s the price you have to pay.”
I chuckled lightly. “Okay. Fair enough.”
“Hey, you two love birds,” Rossi interrupted, sticking his head into the room, “everyone’s waiting on you two.”
We hurried to follow Rossi out to the backyard where everyone was gathered in front of the priest, Henry, and Will. I slowed when I noticed that it was standing room only. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to stand through the whole thing without literally wanting to tear my own spine out and throw it across the fucking yard. I looked at Hotch, tugging him back towards me. He searched my eyes with worry, and when it finally dawned on him, the worry intensified, and he neared me to hold me close.
He kissed the top of my head. “I’ll hold onto you. If it gets bad, we’ll quietly excuse ourselves.”
“It’ll be rude,” I whispered.
“Everyone will understand. Come on.”
He continued to lead me to the group, a few of them shuffling around so that they could make room for us. Hotch was standing behind me, his arms under mine, hands on my hips, swaying them barely, almost as if it were some kind of hypnotizing therapy on its own, and he was kissing my neck gently, not passionately enough to leave a hickey, but enough to tell me that he loved me a million times over.
As JJ and Will kissed, Hotch pulled me closer and whispered, “You remember our first kiss as husband and wife?”
I nodded, smiling through the happy tears that drifted down my cheeks. I was just so happy and relived that we were all safe, and that we were a family again. Even though things didn’t go to plan yesterday, at least Will was there, and JJ would never have to know what it would be like to raise Henry without him. Even though I hurt myself, I at least had Hotch and he had me, and we would never have to know what it would be like to live without each other.
Everyone started clapping, which pulled me out of my trance. Hotch let go of me so that he could clap, too, and I turned to look up at him and kiss him as we both smiled and wiped each other’s tears away. He smiled against me, leaning into our kiss. He didn’t recognize what he was doing. He had been so careful with me since the bombing yesterday, and yet, for a moment, he forgot about everything and just kissed me the same way he kissed me the day we got married. And I kissed him back. I didn’t stop until the clapping stopped and he realized what he had done, quickly pulling away from me so that he could make sure that I hadn’t shattered to a million pieces. I hadn’t shattered, but I had certainly melted.
During dinner, I sat between Hotch and Morgan, just across from Spencer and Garcia. We were all eating—the rest of them drinking while I watched—and talking the night away, not even pondering for a second that yesterday we nearly died on multiple occasions. It was like all of the bad had been washed away. There wasn’t a single bad thought at the table, and there wasn’t a single frown on anyone’s face. Was that normal? I mean, our lives had never been normal, so I was pretty sure I forgot what “normal” was, but that kind of felt familiar, like that was how we would be if our jobs weren’t so time and emotionally consuming.
Garcia asked how I was, and I lied, telling everyone that I felt okay, that they were just overreacting yesterday. Spencer, just as he had at the hospital, actually told everyone the truth. I glared at him again. He didn’t recognize what he had done, however, and continued on to insist that he could help Hotch keep an eye on me since he could recognize the silence signs that I was trying to mask my pain in order to not worry everyone. I silently cursed him for being so damn smart. And oblivious. But the last part wasn’t necessarily his fault, especially with all the theories that had been circulating around the office since I first joined.
After we finished eating, Hotch held his hand out and asked if I wanted to dance. I stared at him for a moment. Was he really going to let me move? I mean, I wasn’t going to second guess him vocally, of course, but I couldn’t believe that he was asking. I jumped at the chance, though. I accepted his hand, letting him pull me to my feet. The two of us laughed excitedly as we carefully hurried to the dance floor and he turned me around so that I was facing him and we could start slow dancing.
Hotch was so gentle with me. We were hardly swaying, taking slow, gentle, and small steps in circles. His arm was barely even touching my waist. I rested my cheek against his chest and inhaled his scent. I loved him beyond words. Despite our ups and downs, despite his lies and my hurt feelings over and over again, I couldn’t shake that I loved him. I couldn’t help that all of that bad times just couldn’t compare to all of the good times, which made everything worth it at the end of the day.
“What are we going to do?” Hotch asked, sincerely baffled. I didn’t say anything. “This isn’t like when I left… You could move then, take care of the kids, and Morgan was always around… But now you’re actually hurt, and I’m going to be gone all the time. What… What do we do?”
“Nothing really changes, baby. I can take Jack to school; I can look after Scarlet. And, you know, Jessica will always be around to help, too, if I need. We’ll be fine.”
“You could barely pick up Jack yesterday.”
“In my defense, he’s getting too big to keep picking up.”
“Y/N, come on. I’m serious. You can’t put any stress on your back. That includes picking Jack up, and cleaning up the house, doing laundry, doing dishes— anything. You need to be really careful.”
“I’m fine, Aaron.”
“You couldn’t even bend down to grab Scarlet’s toy from the floor.”
I furrowed my brows at him when I noticed the way his hold on me loosened even more after recalling the memory of me in the nursery only a few hours ago. He wasn’t upset about that. I mean— he was. Obviously, he was. But there was something else stirring in the mind of Aaron Hotchner, and it had to do with his own guilt. That was the only explanation I could account for.
I brushed my hand over his hair. “Baby,” I cooed, waiting until he looked at me, “I’m going to be okay.” I scratched his scalp gently. He slowly melted against my touch, nuzzling into the way it relaxed him whenever I played with his hair. “It’s not your fault. I need you to hear that.”
He froze. “I—”
“Aaron, please, listen to me. It’s not your fault. I yelled at you, and I told you that I wanted to make the choices with SWAT, and you gave in. I made the call to send everyone into the bank, and I was the one who neglected to think that there could be a bomb inside. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine.”
“I wouldn’t have sanctioned an approach if JJ hadn’t compared you to Will.”
My face softened at the realization. I had only thought that he blamed himself, but I didn’t know it for sure, and I hadn’t realized that this was buried so deep. This was far worse than I could have anticipated. “That’s why you’ve been all protective like this.”
I mean, he usually got protective when something changed drastically in our lives. Haley and Scarlet were prime examples. But this was… different. Instead of ordering me to do things that would force me to protect myself, Hotch was coddling me and attending to my every wish. He was trying to make up for what he did. He was trying to apologize to me for something that he had no right blaming himself for; and he was trying to relieve the guilt he felt by catering to me constantly.
Hotch pressed his forehead against mine. “You could have died, Y/N. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was wrong to make a move like that again so soon, and I should have said something—but when JJ put it into perspective for me by asking what I would have done if it were you in that bank… I knew I had to help her. I had to help Will. And I forgot that it’s my job to protect you—to protect our team. I let my emotions get in the way. I shouldn’t have done that. It goes against everything we believe in at the BAU, and it nearly got you killed.”
“It was my choice, Aaron.” I brought my hand to his face and ran my thumb over his mole on his cheek. “Please, hear that. I made the call to move in with SWAT. It was my decision to push the front doors with you, and it was my decision to stay on site instead of going to the hospital afterwards. You can’t blame yourself.”
“But I do.”
“I know.” I felt a tear hit my thumb, making me pout. “It was an accident, baby.”
“Yeah, but it was an accident that could have killed you.”
I leaned in to kiss him because there was this overwhelming urge in the pit of my stomach to somehow comfort him, yet there weren’t enough words to tell him what I meant, and there wasn’t enough time in the world to hug him for as long as I wanted to—and even if the time existed, my strength to give him a Superman hug was too limited. But I could kiss him. I could press my lips to his until we couldn’t breathe, until he would grab my face and hold me there with him, leaning into me until I wrapped my arms around his neck to hold him there with me. So, I kissed him. I kissed him as hard as I could. We exhaled through our noses, turning our faces to kiss from a different angle while catching our breath. But he didn’t hold me as close as I wanted him to. In fact, he pushed me away somewhat, and I could tell that it was because he was terrified that if he tilted over me at all, it would hurt my back.
My shoulders fell. “Aaron Christopher Hotchner, you are not stupid. You did not make the wrong call. Stop thinking that way before I smack you.”
He chuckled. “I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” I kissed him again, finally feeling his arms snake around the small of my back, giving me the chance to fling my arms around his neck, just like I wanted. I smiled against him.
Someone beside us cleared their throat. We parted to see Morgan standing there, gesturing to ask if he could dance with me. What a way to be a cockblock, am I right? Not that Hotch would have actually fucked me, even if I were on my knees and begging. He made it entirely clear that he wasn’t ready to have sex with me yet, knowing just how bad my back actually was, and he probably wasn’t going to give in for a very long time. I was going to be miserable. Miserable and horny. What was the point of being married to the love of my life if I couldn’t fuck him every chance I had? And then motherfucking Derek Morgan had to come along and ruin the slight chance I had by asking to dance with me. Oh, boy, he was really lucky I loved him.
Hotch was polite about it, though. We smiled, patted Morgan’s shoulder, then stepped away to go dance with Emily since she looked all lonely on her own on the side. Morgan took one of my hands in his, then wrapped his other arm around my waist while I put my free hand on his shoulder. I was staring at him, trying to gauge if he was any better since earlier. He wasn’t.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he insisted before I could say anything. “But thank you for being in my corner, sunshine.” I smiled. “And for always being so damn stubborn, too.”
I laughed. “Only for you.”
“That’s a blatant lie.”
I laughed again. “Yeah, you’re right.”
“Can I sneak in a dance?” Emily asked, sneaking up behind me. Morgan and I turned to face her. I saw that she was forcing a smile, and behind that illusion of happiness was a desperation to dance with Morgan, so I nodded and stepped away. “Actually—” Emily started before I could walk away. “I was hoping to dance with you,” she told me. She reached out and grabbed my hand before I could get too far.
I smiled and took her hand. “Okay.”
Morgan didn’t walk away, so we both glared at him slightly as Emily took the lead. She put her right hand on my waist, her left hand clasped tightly with my right hand, and my left hand was on her shoulder. We still glared at Morgan.
“What? Can’t I watch?” he questioned through a chuckle.
I shooed him away until he gave up and went to grab Garcia from her seat. When I looked back at Emily, she was smiling for real this time, which eased my nerves. Despite how happy everyone seemed, there was something off with her. I could tell that she was the secret Morgan was keeping. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but some part of me just put the pieces together, and I supposed I should have attributed it to being a profiler, but I didn’t want to be that stuck up. I just knew. Something told me that she wasn’t entirely okay, and my heart sank.
As Emily looked away from me, almost like she felt too guilty to keep eye contact, I started putting the pieces together. Morgan was as upset that night as he was when he found out Emily “died”. Hotch stayed back to talk to her when we arrived. I didn’t like where this was leading me.
So, I just asked. “You’re leaving again… Aren’t you?”
Emily snapped her attention back to me, her smile falling from her face quickly. But she didn’t deny it. In fact, she didn’t even question it. The look on her face wasn’t confusion over what I was talking about, instead it was about how I knew. So, it was true. I had this feeling boiling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong with her, and for some reason her leaving the team was the only thing that made sense to me. I didn’t know why. Maybe it was because if I were in her shoes, I would have felt the same way. I couldn’t imagine going through everything she went through; from finding out that Ian Doyle was back, to the fact that he was coming after us in order to make her life hell, in order to being tortured and stabbed by him, then… dying on the way to the hospital. After all of that, she still had the strength to come back when it was safe. But it wasn’t the same. She wasn’t the same. Since coming back, something had been off about her, and I really hadn’t put the pieces together until she went out of her way to come up and ask to dance with me. She knew she was leaving, and she wanted to cherish the moments she had left with us.
“I don’t want to talk about it—” she began.
“Don’t leave. Please.” I didn’t know how I could be more clear and sincere. “Please.”
Her eyes softened. “I’m sorry.” We were silent for a moment. “How did you know?”
“Morgan was being all weird and keeping secrets from me, which was how I knew it had to do with the team. Since Hotch isn’t acting weird, I know he’s not keeping anything from me. The next option was you… and when you asked to dance… I just… I somehow knew.” I shrugged. “Profiling or whatever.”
She laughed. “Yeah. Sure.”
“We need you here. I need you here. Scarlet—”
“I’ll still be around, Y/N, I promise. I just need to do something else. The BAU isn’t what it used to be for me. I think I burned too many bridges when I was away.”
“What are you going to do instead?”
I felt a sob bubbling in my chest, even though I was trying my very hardest to suppress it. I didn’t want to be sad at a wedding. I didn’t want to even think that I would be sad in the future, missing one of my best friends, wondering if she was okay wherever she was, doing whatever it was, doing whoever it was. There was a time when Emily and I… We just clicked. I mean, at first, I was indifferent because she came shortly after Elle left to go travel and do something new with her life that she loved; but once I warmed up to her, we had a flow at work. Morgan and I were together in the field for almost every case, but there were instances when Emily would tag along, and it made sense. The one thing I could vividly remember about her before she left was the time we were working that swinger case and we were in the car together… With anyone else, I think it would have been awkward. But with Emily, I didn’t blink twice. Being stuck in that car with her—though I didn’t recognize it at the time—was actually funny, and I enjoyed little moments like that. If she actually left, I wouldn’t have those anymore. Hell, since she got back in the first place, there was hardly a chance to have little moments like that, and it broke my heart, but I thought that we were going to have a long time to make up for it.
Emily caught a tear running down my cheek with her thumb. Shit, I swore I wouldn’t actually cry. She searched my eyes for a moment, debating on whether or not her next words would force an actual sob out of me; but I was pleading with her for answers. “Clyde Easter called… He wants me to run the London Interpol office.”
I let out a shaky breath. “You’re taking it?”
“Yeah.”
“And it’ll make you happy?”
“I hope so.”
I sighed quietly and nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?” she questioned.
“Yeah. Okay. If it makes you happy, then I can’t tell you not to jump at the opportunity, Em. Once upon a time, you told me that no one else’s opinion matters unless it’s optimistic and helpful. I want my opinion to matter to you. I want you to know that I will always be in your corner, and I will support whatever endeavor it is you choose to seek out because I want the best for you. Because I love you.”
She finally smiled again, almost like she was relieved to hear that from me. “Thank you, Y/N. Truly.” She stopped dancing with me so that she could hug me tightly. “I love you, too.”
And that was how we said goodbye because seeing her off at the airport a few weeks later was just too painful.
-----
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maddiewritesstucky · 4 years
Text
Call me maybe (but only during business hours)
A smutty gift for @raynakiasbel​, for her endless patience with my infuriatingly slow writing and inability to focus on one thing at a time! 
Pairing: Steve/Bucky
Rating: Explicit
Wordcount: 3308
Tags: CEO Steve, College Student Bucky, Poorly-Timed Phone Sex, Anal Fingering, Masturbation, Dirty Talk, Light Daddy Kink, Dom/Sub Undertones
Part 1 of the SugarVerse series on Ao3 
Bucky is most definitely not watching the clock.
His eyes have absolutely not been glued to the LED display on the bedside table for what feels like a hundred goddamn years, watching the little white lines form number after number, blinking their way into the formation that will mean he can pick up his phone, and call Steve.
That would be all kinds of pathetic, and Bucky is not that kind of boyfriend.
He’s certainly not the kind of boyfriend who’s already fixing to climb out of his skin on day three (three!) of Steve’s out-of-town business trip. Bucky is one of those autonomous, self-sufficient boyfriends, who is entirely too busy with his own obscenely full schedule to care about the fact that he’s not getting dicked down at his every whim this week.
He has midterms to study for, and hours to log at StarkTech to go towards his internship, and Nat’s surprise birthday party to plan even though she’s literally impossible to surprise…he doesn’t have the mental real estate to spare on thirst right now. He might have become a whole other kind of hoe since being exposed to the many splendors of Steve Rogers’ cock, but twitching for it before they’ve even hit the seventy-two hour mark?
That would be highly problematic, if that was happening.
Which it isn’t.
Bucky is well accustomed to flying solo when Steve’s off in corporate alter-ego mode; he’s done this countless times over the past few months since he moved in with Steve, and he’d made his peace with it long before that. You don’t couple up with the CEO of an internationally renowned architecture firm and expect to see his face at the dinner table every night, and for the most part, Bucky has no complaints about having the stupidly plush bed all to his starfishing self a few nights a month.
It’s just...there’s a method to this, usually. And that method does not involve three entire days of near radio silence.
When Steve goes away, even on his busier trips, he always finds time to call Bucky at least once a day, even if it’s just five minutes as he’s crawling into bed to say goodnight. They’ll text, and Steve will send emails that are endearingly formal because his brain tends to stay in CEO-mode 24/7 when he’s on business trips, and they’ll generally tide one another over with tidbits of cyber-affection until they get back in the same physical space.  
But this time? They’ve hardly been in contact at all. And it’s on Bucky, too, at least in part - he’s been swamped with his own workload the past few weeks, struggling to find quality time or head space even in the few days just before Steve left, and all they’ve managed so far is a few sporadic messages in their rare moments of down-time, which have so far been chaotically misaligned.
It’s been a drag, if Bucky’s honest, and he can occupy himself all he wants with his exam prep and his party-plotting, but at the end of the day…
Bucky’s just a boy, laying in front of a clock, asking his dick to hold out just a few more minutes.
Because right now, it’s 10:42pm.
It’s 10:42pm, which means that in exactly three minutes, Steve will be sliding into the crisp white sheets of whatever lavish hotel bed he’s being put up in; buck-ass naked because he’s as stringent on his no-pyjamas policy as he is on his bed time, and in exactly three minutes…
Bucky’s gonna call him, and phone-fuck the soul right out of his offensively perfect body.
He flips onto his back and nestles into the pillows, a dumb grin already fixing to his face in his hormone-fuelled stupor. The lights of the city outside the floor-to-ceiling penthouse windows bathe his naked skin in soft orange-gold, and his hand migrates of its own accord to the semi he’s been rocking ever since it occurred to him that he could just straight up call Steve and spring a jerk-sesh on him.
The whole thing feels deliciously sneaky-skanky. He’s never done this before, just cold-called Steve with an x-rated agenda. They’ve had phone sex before, a great many times in fact, but there’s always a lead-in; a text exchange turned sordid that spirals into a video call straight out of Bucky’s horny teenage fantasies. 
But he’s never gone in jizz-first, ask-questions-later, and as certain as he is that Steve will be entirely on board, it feels just risky enough to have Bucky a little high off the adrenaline of it.
Here lies Bucky, Queen of the Sluts! Stretched out bare atop cream colored sheets, lit up by the New York skyline! Dick in hand and filth on the tip of his tongue!
He is power! He is scandal! He is ready for this!
He pulls the lube out from its hiding place under the pillow and slicks himself up, stroking slow as he tries to summon some small measure of nonchalance about the whole thing. He has a vision for how he wants this to go, and it does not involve him losing his cool the second he hears Steve’s voice on the other end of the line.
This is about seduction, about surprising Steve with some old-school nasty, no video or visuals involved - just Bucky’s filthy mouth and vivid imagination, and he’s determined to keep it together long enough to paint Steve a picture he can jack it to.
He pulls up Steve’s contact and waits out the final torturous minute with his heart in his throat, hitting the call button the second it ticks over to go-time. He hits the speakerphone button, dropping the phone onto the pillow next to him, and holds his breath through the four rings it takes for Steve to pick up.
“...James?”
And oh, but that bodes well...Steve uses his real name in two contexts, and two contexts only - when Bucky visits him at work and he’s in business mode, and when he’s got Bucky flat on his back underneath him, letting him have it.
If Steve’s already keyed up tonight? This just got a lot more interesting.
“Mm, there it is,” Bucky heaves a deep sigh, “that’s what I needed, that voice...”
His mind’s eye conjures up visions of Steve spread out across the bed, taut lines of muscle and bare flesh all laid out. He’s probably just had a shower, so his skin would be all warm and pink, smelling like soap and aftershave; his hair all fluffy from that irreverent way he has of rubbing it towel-dry...god, Bucky misses him.
“James? Are you alright?”
He can practically hear Steve’s brows drawing together in that way they do when he’s overworked; a tight-wound tension in his voice that Bucky has every confidence he can allay before the night’s through.
“Mm, be a lot better if it was your hand wrapped around my cock right now,” Bucky drawls, rolling his body for his audience of no one, “but I guess I’ll just have to settle for fucking my fist to the sound of your voice. Can you hear me touching myself, Daddy?”
He breathes a soft groan as he strokes himself slick and languid, and Steve is silent for a long moment that Bucky’s brain is all too happy to color in with pornographic images of how Steve might be listening; where his hands might be wandering, how his cock would be filling at the mental picture Bucky’s painting. Bucky thinks this might just be the best idea he’s ever had, and he doesn’t hold back on letting Steve hear exactly how good he’s feeling about his decision...
...Until Steve clears his throat, and unceremoniously hits him with an ice-cold dousing of you-done-fucked-up.
“I’m in a meeting right now, I have two clients with me.”  
There is zero inflection in his tone, and if Bucky thought he had experienced true panic before, he was mistaken. He can physically feel himself paling; his mouth dropping open soundlessly, humiliation warring with plain confusion as to why the hell Steve is still working at this ridiculous hour.
And then it clicks.
Horribly, harrowingly clicks.
Steve isn’t working at stupid o’clock at night.
In the perpetual haze of Bucky’s overworked brain and Steve’s ever-changing schedule, Bucky had forgotten that this trip was taking Steve to Hawaii.
For Steve, it isn’t slutty phone-sex hours. It’s very sensible, 4:45pm strictly-business hours.
“Ohmygod,” Bucky gasps, bolting upright and looking desperately around the room like it might hold the solution to his colossal screw up, “Steve, I completely forgot--”
“Mr Barnes, I can give you exactly two minutes of my time right now because I realize it’s been difficult to touch base recently,” Steve interrupts, his tone cooling abruptly with the air of professional detachment and veiled authority Bucky’s heard him use on work calls a thousand times. “Can you tell me exactly what the issue is with the redesign?”
...Bucky blinks, breath caught in his throat as he scrambles to string together some sense from Steve’s response.
Steve hasn’t mentioned any specific projects lately, is Bucky supposed to know something about a redesign? Was there something he--
Oh.
Oh.
His brain and his dick catch on at the same time in a borderline painful rush of blood. He hears Steve pull back from the phone to address his clients, placating them with an apology and the assurance that this won’t take long, and Jesus Christ...Steve is actually doing this.
Steve is actually going to let this happen, going to let Bucky have one-sided phone sex with him while he sits there in some boardroom, with actual clients sitting right in front of him.
What the fuck.
Bucky’s breath leaves him in a rush as he drops back against the pillows and wraps a frantic hand around himself. “The issue is you’ve been gone three fucking days and I wanna sit on your face.”
“Mm, I see why that’s problematic,” Steve muses, cool and unaffected, “what exactly do you need from me?”
God, Bucky can just picture it - Steve sitting there looking like a fucking wet dream in one of his distractingly well-fitting suits, with his hair swept perfectly over and his beard trimmed just close enough to show off the sharp cut of his jaw; radiating that air of quiet authority that makes Bucky want to bounce in his lap until he dies...
Bucky knows for a fact that Steve’s face will be betraying precisely none of what’s happening on the other end of the line, and why the hell is that such a turn on?
“Well I was gonna describe in graphic detail all the things I want you to do to me when you get back,” Bucky huffs, breaths coming faster already, “but if I’m on the clock now, guess I’ll have to settle for sayin’ I need you to bring that dick home ASAP...fuckin’ miss it.”
“I see,” Steve sighs, “well I’m not back in New York for a few days yet, how do you plan to manage this in the interim?”
Bucky curses under his breath, tightening his grip on himself. “Just have to fuck myself, imagine it’s you.”  He sounds every bit as unconvinced of the efficacy of this plan as they both know he is, and Steve hums thoughtfully in response.
“I’m going to need more detail, paint me a picture here.”
Bucky knows he’s blushing, feels the heat of it all the way down his chest, and fuck this shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Dirty talking at Steve and getting nothing back but clipped responses, void of emotion and the usual undercurrent of affection he’s become accustomed to?
Work-Steve needs to come to the bedroom more often.
“I’ll touch myself, like I’m doing right now,” he twists his grip a little on the upstroke, hissing at the change in sensation, “get my fist all wet and tight around my cock...pretend it’s your mouth.”
How close are Steve’s clients sitting to him? Steve wouldn’t be letting this happen if there was any way they could hear...but what if one of them has some kind of medical condition that gives them enhanced hearing? What if one of them can read minds and is hearing this entire conversation play out in stereo quality in their head?
Why is there a part of Bucky that hopes one or both of those things are true?!
“...And?” Steve prompts, almost brusque, and Bucky gives himself a second to revel in the way his dick twitches for the hard edge in Steve’s voice.
“And I’ll, fuck- ” Bucky stutters, rocking his hips with the rhythm of his strokes, pushing himself up through his grip, “I’ll use my toys, fingerfuck myself.”
“Right, well why don’t you go ahead and start that for me now,” Steve says, off-hand; pulling back from the phone to place an honest-to-god coffee order with the oblivious intern who’s now seemingly in the room too, and Bucky’s never felt more of an affinity for the whole bored-and-ignored thing.  
He slicks up the fingers of his free hand and shifts a little onto his side, hiking a knee up as he slips a finger inside himself.
“Can I take that as a yes, Mr Barnes?” Steve asks at the breathy moan Bucky lets out as he presses in first with one, and then with two fingers, and Bucky nods frantically even though Steve can’t see him.
“Yes, fuck...I'm doin' it...feels so fucking good, Steve.”
And it does. It’s a difficult angle, and he can't quite hit the spot he wants to inside himself, but the steady stroke-tug against his rim while his fist flies over his cock is working for him; winding him towards what would, in any other non time-constrained circumstance, be an embarrassingly fast orgasm.
He can hear Steve shuffling papers, making quiet sounds of agreement along with whatever conversation is going on in the background between his clients whilst they wait, unknowing, and Bucky can’t decide whether it’s a blessing or an immense disappointment that Steve has to bite his tongue right now; that he can’t unleash any of the filth he’d definitely be spitting if he didn’t have an audience. 
Steve fucking loves to run his mouth, and Bucky loves to hear it; lives for the endlessly colorful obscenities Steve comes out with in the throws of it.
Just listen to you, he’d be laughing a little; his voice dripping with that indulgent, self-satisfied grin he gets, so goddamn easy for it, ain’t that right baby? Three fuckin’ days and you’re gagging for it...should be ashamed of yourself…
But Steve is in a very public forum right now, in the middle of a meeting no less, trying to give the impression that he’s very decidedly not having phone sex. Right now, he’s Steve Rogers - CEO, consummate professional.
But he is also an asshole, and when he asks Bucky “do you feel you have a firm grasp on the situation, or would a second set of hands be helpful on this one?” Bucky swears he can hear that faint hint of a smirk all the way across the fucking country.
“Might just have to go find myself a second set of hands if you stay away too long,” Bucky retorts, emboldened by the distance, and a little morbidly curious to see what sassing gets him when Steve can’t say shit about it.
Turns out, what it gets him is a full-body shiver and a throb between his thighs as Steve’s tone dips to somewhere in the realm of politely-veiled threat. “I would not advise that, Mr Barnes.”
It occurs to Bucky, then, that this won’t just be done and dusted once they hang up. At the end of the week, Steve will come back to New York, and he will absolutely have some Things To Say about this little interruption.
He can picture it now, the way Steve will stand there all calm, staring him down with his mouth upticked at the corner while Bucky fumbles his way through an explanation. 
He’ll probably do that thing where he doesn’t say much but his eyes say everything, and Bucky will have to try really hard to seem remorseful even though they’ll both know he’s not actually all that sorry. And Steve won’t want him to be, not really, but it’ll be something he can use to their mutual benefit, nonetheless.
Fuck, Steve might spank him.
Bucky smothers a moan into the pillow next to him, twisting his fingers inside himself and brushing his thumb across the head of his cock as he turns that thought over, Steve bending him over his knee, or better yet, over his desk...
“Oh,” Bucky gasps, a sudden rush of heat twisting tight in his gut, “fuck, I’m gonna come.”
Steve huffs a vaguely incredulous laugh, and there’s a faint creaking sound like he’s settling further back in his chair. “Oh really? Who authorized that?”  
Bucky lets out a deeply undignified whine, his whole body strung tight enough to snap; caught between the sensations of his hand moving frantically over his dick and his fingers scissoring inside himself.
“Come on,” he whimpers, teetering on the knife edge of losing it, “tell me I can finish, please.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”
Oh, fuck him, fuck him...how is he still edging Bucky when he was the one who put the rush order on this?
“Please, Daddy,” Bucky doesn’t try to hide the desperation in his voice as he changes tact, “if you don’t authorize this orgasm I think I’m gonna go blind, just fucking let me come!”
Steve pauses a beat, humming a considering sound. “No, I’m not comfortable signing off on that. We’re tabling this until I get back to New York.”
Bucky freezes, both hands stilling; his face crumbling into a mask of abject disbelief.  “You can’t be serious?”  His stomach drops, even as something in the back of his mind says he really should have seen this coming...or, not coming, as is the case.
“I'm sure we can come to a far more satisfying resolution in person,” Steve says, maddeningly cavalier.
Bucky’s gearing up to plead his case, but Steve’s not done ruining his night yet.
“In fact, Mr Barnes,” he piles on, “I’d like to make you personally responsible for ensuring no further action is taken on the matter until I return. Can I trust you with this?”
Bucky gapes down at his poor, oblivious cock still standing at eager attention in his grasp, unaware of the disaster that’s just befallen them, and he takes his hands off himself with a pained groan.
“This is criminal,” he objects, flopping heavily onto his back and throwing his arms out to his sides, “if my dick falls off, it’s your fault!”
“Great! Glad to hear it,” Steve chirps, as if he's not the worst person alive, “I’ll be in touch.”
“Whatever,” Bucky scowls at the shadows stretching across the ceiling, willing his mind off the throbbing ache of injustice between his thighs, “I’m totally not answering any of your calls.”
Steve’s smile bleeds into his tone a little when he responds, the closest he’s come to fondness yet. “Okay, speak soon, Mr Barnes.”
Bucky tries, really tries, to inject some petulance into his tone as he signs off with a grumbled “love you, I guess,” but he can’t quite bring himself to sulk as much as he feels the situation warrants.
After all, in exactly four days, Steve will come back to New York.
He’ll come home, and they’ll laugh about this, and in exactly four days…
Steve will make him forget what he was even upset about in the first place.
(Part 2 of the series here!)
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escxpedes · 4 years
Text
loopholes (cont.)
I literally can’t even begin to tell you how much everyone’s support meant to me on the last chapter. All your comments and tags were so sweet, it was seriously the highlight of my day. I’m sorry for the delay, I meant to get this out a couple of days ago, but I’ve come down with a bad cold. This part, while fun, was so hard to get right. Angus Macgyver is a genius, his mind goes a mile a minute, and I wanted to do my best to replicate that. This part is a little slow in getting to the Macriley stuff, but I wanted to show how much he really thinks about things. He’s such a complex character, that if I didn’t do him justice, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. Also, there’s dialogue in this one! Sadly, Jack isn’t mentioned in this chapter, but he’s there in spirit. Clearly, we all love and miss him. I hope you guys enjoy, the last part will be out soon! x
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loop·hole
noun | A loophole is an ambiguity or inadequacy in a system, such as a law or security, which can be used to circumvent or otherwise avoid the purpose, implied or explicitly stated, of the system
~
Riley finally moves into her new apartment, but struggles to adjust after the events of Codex and the realization of her feelings for Mac. When Mac finds her passed out over her keyboard after a late night of coding at Phoenix, he decides a talk is long overdue. Just some slightly angsty soft!macriley to help you cope with this season 5 hiatus.
~
of lips that i am yet to kiss (and eyes not met my own.)
It's highly unlikely that you'll find Mac walking down the halls of the Phoenix Foundation so late at night. Without the bustling energy of his coworkers fetching important documents or discussing the best way to break down one of the many mysteries the foundation deals with, the darkened hallways and quiet atmosphere can be unnerving.
Sure, he spends nearly every waking hour employed there, but he'd rather be outside the office in different countries, doing hands-on work and saving lives. When you work in his profession, It can be difficult to separate business and pleasure, but that only makes it more important—if only to conserve what mental health he has left. 
However, in the haste of putting together last-minute preparations for yet another meeting with the Department of Justice and trying to make it back to his house in time for something Desi whipped up, he managed to forget his cellphone.
It's funny, mainly because of how little the small device truly matters to Mac.
It only goes to show how insignificant material objects, or even human beings in general, are. The idea that something so meaningless can affect someone's life so much when, if they just looked past that obsession and considered its part in the profound scope of the universe, another perspective would take shape.
It's fascinating stuff, really.
There's a concept essential to understanding Japanese aesthetics, otherwise known as an ancient set of ideals important to Japanese society, called Yūgen. When applied in the right context, Yūgen underlines this deep awareness of the universe and the experiences we have within it. It's often the feeling interpreted when you gaze at the stars late at night or watch the sunset dip behind a hill.
Mac wouldn't think twice before breaking his phone, or rather, breaking the phone of his nearest friend, open for an obscure part that might make one of his many homemade devices come together. However, when he's the only person able to communicate the scientific specifications of an unheard-of-until-recently base plan for saving the planet, he's practically on call 24/7.
He remembers having it in the labs earlier that day when he stopped by before his meeting to remind Bozer to come by his house on Friday for the team's new weekly attempt in group-bonding.
After the betrayals that surfaced during the climax of taking down Codex, the team collectively decided to spend more time as a group in hopes of eliminating any lingering doubts. 
They used to hang out all the time before the government dismantled the Phoenix Foundation.
Mac still can't believe that, after everything they had been through, he allowed his friendships to dissipate over the year they had been separate.
Bozer is his childhood best friend, and Riley had become a solid foundation in his life. He didn't have anyone outside his team at Phoenix, and while he deeply cared for Desi, their first relationship was proof that too much time—and too little communication—with each other can do severe damage to one's sanity.
If Russ hadn't brought them back together, would they have tried to reconnect at some point?
Mac wants to say they would have but wouldn't blame them if they didn't; they all lost something they cared about, and each served as a constant reminder of it.
It would've been hard, but part of him feels like living without them is a lot harder.
When he manages to access the lab, flipping his shiny new I.D. card over his fingers and into its place in his wallet, his eyes scan the room. It's empty, which isn't unusual at this time, but years of military training have rewired his brain to notify him of threats, even if there aren't any.
Just like he thought it would be, the device sits untouched a few tables behind Bozer's workspace where Mac had been sitting.
Quickly, because he left the house in a hurry and forgot to leave a note, he scoops up his phone and makes his way towards the exit. There's a couple of missed calls, but it doesn't seem like he missed anything too important.
Not that they would let him. 
At any rate, they would probably show up on his doorstep if they couldn't get a hold of him. With days off so few and far between, that's the kind of interaction he's hoping to avoid. Hence, why he came to pick up his phone when he realized it was missing instead of waiting until the next day.
He's nearly made it to the end of the hall when a light flashes in his peripheral vision, coming from the I.T. department.
His body is tense with apprehension; his mind races with several different kinds of possibilities and outcomes. He slows his pace, his movements fluid, silent, and controlled from years of stealth practice.
The light is soft, he notices, as if only one or two monitors are in use.
When he gets to the doorway and nudges open the door, hands at the ready, his entire body sags in relief to see the dark wavy hair he's come to associate with one of his closest friends.
"Riles?"
The nickname falls from his mouth before he can stop it, and even though the light from the monitor creates a halo above her head, shadowing her features, it's unmistakably her.
She doesn't move. 
It becomes abundantly clear why as Mac moves towards her and notices the monitor's screen filling up with a sequence of letters that look nothing like coding despite his lack of knowledge in programming languages.
Her elbow balances precariously on the edge of the table, her arms creating a makeshift pillow for her head. The weight of her forearm bears down on the keyboard, causing the side of her hand to press down multiple keys at once.
He shakes his head a little, amused by the situation unfolding. 
Her cheek rests comfortably on her hand, a serene expression masking the signs of exhaustion that showed on her face.
Mac's lips curved into a soft smile, seeing Riley in any state that wasn't cloaked in layers of worry or anxious determination always washed away any doubts he might have about working in such a stressful field.
The scars that covered his body, the secrets he has to keep, and the pain he has to endure are so unbelievably worth it as long as she out of harm's way and able to sleep peacefully.
Of course, he couldn't imagine anyone else by his side on a mission, knowing they share the same love and passion for kicking ass and saving lives.
However, he also knows that more lies underneath the surface.
He wouldn't wish the hardships of this job on anyone. Seeing it affect someone he cares about, watching it break them down slowly pulls at his heartstrings and fills him with a knowing sadness. 
When a piece of hair falls into her face, his fingers don't hesitate to gently brush it behind her ear, lightly tracing her cheekbone and caressing her cheek.
Kneeling, his hand drops to her shoulder in an attempt to gently wake her.
After a couple of shakes, the expressive brown eyes he's come to look forward to seeing begin to flutter open and nearly render him speechless.
She blinks a couple of times, inhaling slowly, "Macgyver."
Her voice is full of sleep and breaks from misuse, but the way she says his name—like there's nobody else she'd expect to see when she wakes up —has him grinning from ear to ear.
"Good morning, sleepyhead."
Rising from her position on the table, she scans the room before meeting his eyes and scoffing, "It's hardly the morning."
He laughs softly, holding back the urge to mention that technically it is morning considering its past twelve. Instead, he focuses on the matter at hand, or more likely, the question at hand.
"What are you doing here so late?"
She's more alert now, sitting back in her chair and lifting her arms to stretch out the muscles that stiffened while she slept, glancing at her work on the monitor.
Her face drops into a grimace when she notices her mistake, "Matty and I were talking about updating the foundation's firewall and spyware," she yawns, "I must have been more tired than I realized."
Mac's eyebrows scrunch in thought, remembering something Bozer said earlier about Riley spending quite a few nights this week working late.
Between going over his mother's scientific data, trying to patch up whatever relationship he had left with Desi, and making sure he didn't go off the rails with grief, his effort to check in on everyone decreased significantly.
"Yeah, you've been doing that a lot lately," his hand returned to her shoulder to emphasize his point, "Everything okay?"
She waves him off, "There's too much work that needs to be done around here before we can get things running the way they used to."
Riley doesn't lie to him—if you overlook the whole situation with her ex, Aubrey, that is, but the movements she's making indicate otherwise.
Her eyes refuse to meet his, flickering down and to the right. When she talks, her head shakes lightly, and she purses her lips in an attempt to give off a careless impression. Maybe someone who doesn't know her or didn't train to pick up on it would believe her, but he knew better.
She was definitely hiding something from him.
Part of him understands that if she wanted to talk about it, she would. However, his instincts urge him to press harder, locate the problem, and bring back her contagious smile that always seems to fill him with warmth.
As much as he doesn't want to admit it, you can't patch some things together by sheer will and sellotape, so instead, he stands up and drops his hand from her shoulder.
"Let's get you home."
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Chapter 24 - Realize, Sweet Babe, We Ain’t Never Gonna Part
Seattle Washington, April 9 1990
(Andi is 20, Chris is 25)
ANDI: I wake to the bright July sun as it pours through the tall window of our bedroom. I open one eye and lift my head glancing at the clock to see that it was only 7:30am. Why does it have to be so bright so early in the morning? I groan and smush my face back into the pillow, my curls covering whatever the pillow wasn't and hear the bedroom door slowly open. I can hear Chris enter the room as the old hardwood floor slightly creaks. I keep my eyes closed, attempting to fall back to sleep but I feel him climb up on to the edge of the bed, playfully pulling the black sheet down over my body, revealing my black lacy panties.
"You awake beautiful?" He asks, his voice raspy from his performance at The Moore Theatre last night. It was his first gig since the European tour and it was fucking amazing. The only thing is that he and Jason were fighting the entire time, and Jason fucked up a few times but other than that, Chris was just 'on ' you know?
I let out a muffled groan as he moves over top of me, his rough fingers brushing across my back, moving my curls out of the way and places his lips between my shoulder blades, his morning stubble prickling me .
"No, I'm not awake... so sleepy," I say into the pillow and I hear him chuckle as he places sweet kisses up to the back of my neck.
"Well I hope this will wake you up," He says in my ear and as I turn to look up at him, pushing my mess of curls out of my eyes, I see him holding a small simple diamond ring between his fingers.
"Chris?" I say, my voice still full of sleep. I sit myself up, using the pillow to shield my bare chest as he holds the ring out to me kneeling in just his blue plaid boxer shorts, his curls messy from sleeping, falling across his gorgeous blue eyes.
"I know it's not much... it's pretty much all I can afford right now but... If you're going to be my wife, you need a ring so... " He trails off as he looks down at the ring and then looks back at me.
We still haven't told anyone that we're engaged because he wanted to keep it a secret. I think I know why he did now that he is holding this beautiful ring out to me.
"You still wanna marry me right?" He asks raising his eyebrow at me.
"Yes, Chris," I laugh. I hold my hand out to him with an excited smile on my face and he slips the ring on my finger. I then move the pillow from my chest and practically fall into his arms, threading my fingers through his curls and pressing my lips to his. He chuckles against my lips but then deepens the kiss as I flip him over so that I'm on top of him.
"Good, Now I can go pee," I giggle as I pull away from his lips and push myself away from him as he gives me a bewildered look.
"Hey, wait a minute, " Chris laughs reaching out for me as I quickly climb out of bed laughing, my curls falling across my face.
"I'll only be a sec - "I giggle as I make my way to the bedroom doorway but without warning, I am instantly slipped into another time and place once again.
*****
CHRIS: "Babe?" I call out as I see Andi disappear before my eyes, the diamond ring bouncing on the hardwood floor making a high pitched dinging sound before landing on the lace of her black panties. I sit up and run my fingers through my roots saddened and worried about where and when she has slipped to this time. I know I always say this but I will never get used to this happening. I just hope she comes back to me soon.
I let out a long sigh and slowly climb out of bed, walking over to where the ring was laying on the floor and shining so brightly. It didn't even occur to me that she wouldn't be able to wear it without possibly losing it if she happened to slip at some point - which is exactly what happened. I pick it up from the floor and walk over to her dresser that sat beside the full length mirror, placing her ring on top.
"Oh baby... whenever you are... I hope you're ok,"
*****
Houston Texas, July 20 1994
(Andi is 20 and 24, Chris is 30)
ANDI: "No.. no, no, no..." I say as I find myself on a cold tile floor of a bathroom trying to sit myself up and figure out just where I am. I have no idea where or when I am but I'm guessing it's in the future, since the air feels a little different. I definitely do not recognize anything about this bathroom. It's small and very white with only a shower stall, the sink vanity displaying a bunch of different miniature shampoos and lotions and white bath towels hanging off the rack with a logo imprinted down at the bottom.
"Holiday Inn?" I say and realize that I'm in a hotel bathroom.
I gather myself up, hanging on to the sink vanity to steady myself , grab one of the towels from the rack and wrap myself in it just in case there was anyone in the room. I push my curls from my eyes and open the bathroom door. I then slowly peak my head out into the room and see that there is no one here but I do see a couple of luggage bags beside the Queen size bed. I also see 2 guitar cases sitting beside the luggage bags and I somehow recognize the one that has an Aerosmith patch and a Black Sabbath patch on it, along with a bunch of other bands - a lot of them I haven't ever heard of. The Aerosmith patch is in exactly the same spot where I sewed mine on to just yesterday before Chris's concert.
I take one more look around making sure no one is here and step further into the room over towards the guitar cases and pull the zipper down revealing my '90 silver sparkle Gretsch Duo Jet with the leather guitar strap that Andy got me for my birthday.
"Ok... this is my room?" I say somewhat confused and unzip the second guitar case revealing a Cherry Burst Gibson with a Soundgarden decal sticker just below the pick guard. "...our room I mean?" I chuckle and I suddenly hear someone outside the hotel room door. I quickly zip up the guitar cases and run back into the bathroom just as the hotel room door opened.
"Babe is that you?" I hear Chris's voice call just as I make it back into the bathroom. My heart started to pound and I had no idea if I should answer or just stay quiet. I hear his footsteps walking up to the bathroom door and just as he opens it I jump, startled that he caught me in here, though it wasn't like I was desperately trying to hide myself since I really don't know where or when I am.
"How did you get back here so fast?" He laughs as his blue eyes glance at me up and down, wearing a white loosely fitted tank top and black baggy shorts with his Doc Martins .
"I uh... um... well..." I stutter as I am unable to take my eyes off of how different he looks. He cut his hair. He has it kind of messy curly but it's so short. He also grew a beard. He looks so different that I have no idea what to say
"Oh I get it... is this like, part of my birthday present?" He raises his eyebrow and smirks.
Birthday...ok... so at least I know it's July 20th... just wish I knew the year though.
"Um... yea, yea it... is," I try to sound convincing but I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. I place my hand over my chest holding up the towel as he steps towards me. I give him a half smile as he leans down to me, placing his lips on mine.
His lips feel incredible as he cups my face in his palms, deepening the kiss, as his tongue plays with mine. I suck his bottom lip like I always do, completely caught up in the moment and he pulls away touching his forehead to mine. He then attempts to take the towel from me and as he glances down to take my hand that was holding up the towel, his expression changes to confusion.
"You're time slipping aren't you?" He asks, his eyes looking into mine.
"Um... yea" I say sheepishly and suddenly the hotel door opens.
"Chris, are you here?" I hear my own voice calling out as Chris's eyes grow wide with panic.
"Chris?"
I then see myself appear at the bathroom door and though this has happened only a handful of times before, it's still disorienting to see yourself in two places at once. Chris turns from me to see the other me standing in the doorway and then glances back at me and I can tell the wheels are spinning in his head.
"Well um... this is..." Chris starts and I just give him a little smile. I glance at the other me and see that I look pretty much exactly the same. My long dark curls well passed my shoulders, wearing a pair of high waisted ripped black leggings, my Doc Martens and a band shirt that was cut up into a crop shirt, showing just a little bit of my stomach - which doesn't seem like me at all - and had the name of Pantera across the front in white blocked writing.
"Andi?" The other me says and I nod, still feeling awkward that I'm standing in a towel. She then walks over to me placing her hands on either side of my arms and gives me a warm smile, then pulls me in to hug her. Once again it was that moment where my future self and my present self immediately gain the memory of this, as if it was there all along.
"So um... is it considered cheating if I was just about to have my way with you in the shower?" Chris says and we both laugh.
"Ok that's just way too weird to hear you laugh at the same time in the same way," Chris says as we continue to giggle and he walks out of the bathroom.
"You think he would be used to this kinda thing," I say and the other me laughs.
"C'mon, you honestly think that?" She giggles.
"No," I say and she smiles at me.
"C'mon... I'll get you some clothes," She walks towards the bathroom door and I follow to see Chris sitting in a large reading chair across from the bed, pouring himself a shot of Jack Daniels.
"Here, these will work," She says and closes up one of the luggage bags, walking over and handing me a band shirt and ripped jeans, some panties and a pair of black and white Chuck Taylors.
"No it's ok, I'm not sure how long I'm gonna, you know... be here," I say but she still hands them to me.
"Andi it's fine, you can't sit in a towel the whole time," She smiles and she's right. I take them from her and glance at Chris as he downs the shot of Jack Daniels, he winks at me and I smirk, and head back into the bathroom to quickly change. Once I do I come back out and Chris looks back and forth at me and the other me and pours another shot.
"Damn... it's just so fucking... weird," He chuckles and downs another shot.
"Hey there birthday boy, don't drink too much yet. We still gotta get into the club," The other me giggles and Chris just shrugs.
" So um... what year am I in?" I say.
" '94" She says.
"What year are you um... slipping from?" Chris asks as he leans back in the chair.
" 1990... June 1990" I say.
"Well I must look completely different to you then," Chris chuckles.
"Not completely but, yea a little different," I smirk and he smiles at me.
"Ok I remember, oh wow this is weird, I remember you gave me that ring and like a few minutes later I slipped... remember?" The other me glances at Chris.
"Yea.. I do... I remember feeling like an idiot that I didn't think about the fact that you couldn't wear a ring because you would lose it," Chris says pouring another shot.
"Wait... are we married?" I ask glancing between the other me and Chris.
"Uh huh... since September 1990," She smiles at me.
"Don't... tell me anymore... I - "
"Wanna be surprised?" She finishes my sentence.
"Yea," I smile.
"Well the only thing I'll tell you is don't be so nervous when you step into the tattoo studio. I really would hate to have the whole time slipping experience happen again in the middle of it," She giggles.
"What?" I ask confused. She then holds up her left hand and points to her ring finger - my ring finger - and I see a tattoo where a wedding band should be. I take her hand and look at the design, then look back at her.
"It's the only thing that I could do, so that I could keep him with me no matter what," She says her eyes welling up just a little bit. Just as I was about to hug her again - cause I can't stand seeing myself cry - I hear the extremely loud ringing in my ears again and I stubble backwards.
"Shit, baby?" Chris says as he leaps up off the chair to catch me.
"I'm sorry... I - I'm... I-" I stutter and begin to feel myself fade.
"It's ok baby," His voice sounding like a faint distant memory as I find myself back in our bedroom, on the bedroom floor trying to catch my breath.
*****
Seattle Washington, June 5 1990
(Andi is 20, Chris is 25)
ANDI: "Baby, holy shit... that was fast. Are you ok?" I hear Chris's voice as he crouches down to me on the floor while I sit myself up coughing just a little.
"Yea, yea I'm ok," I cough. He then takes me in his arms and holds me like he always does and I love how he feels so warm and comforting, ready to save me every time I come back to him.
"Where did you go?" He asks as I rest my head on his bare chest.
"I went ahead this time... um... 1994" I say in between my breaths.
"Holy shit," He says, his voice vibrating through his chest.
"Yea, holy shit," I giggle.
"Is everything ok?" He asks and places his lips on top of my head. I then lift myself away from him looking into his eyes as he brushes a few curls out of mine.
"Everything is fine. I um... I have an idea on an engagement ring that I won't lose, you know just in case I slip again," I say and he raises his eyebrow at me.
"Oh yea? What's that?" He chuckles.
"How do you feel about tattoos?"
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ne-fe-li-bata · 3 years
Text
Aye yo CORPSE!  ...
Dead ass;
You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 
in no particular order..
• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world
• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”
•  Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.
      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)
•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>
•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning
      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.
• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100
•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .
              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>
             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“
• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 
         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>
•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens
         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)
•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.
-EYES DON’T LIE
•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’
•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 
•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities
•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;
  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 
Jack
Nova
Sp00n
Jontron
Smosh
Nigahiga
Shane
Jenna
Hanna Hart
Phil/Dan
KevJumba
Ray William Johnson
Pewds
Machinima
EMT
ERB
Wassabi Prod.
VlogBros, 
-etc
• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)
• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 
•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)
• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.
• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 
hard(er) kinks
• Lovebites = M I N E 
obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie
lace
collars/ restraints 
toys
     •RP
degrading/praising
sub/dom switch
showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..
& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 
over stim 
*no touchy/ don’t let me go*
“look at what I’ve done to you”
“you kno only I can do this to you”
“look how greedy you are for me”
“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 
“cum on my face”/’cum for me”
“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”
100% all black clothing 🖤
*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 
primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”
pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”
“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 
‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’
“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”
“would you like to/ I saw----”
“look at me” “don’t look away from me”
GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw
not breaking eye contact 
     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 
“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”
video/sexing/teasing 
breeding kink
voyeurism
abrasions
aftercare af 
impact play 
24/7
edging 
accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”
rope bondage 
begging 
worships 
•  But also soft kinks; 
MEME SENDING
head on lap/chest
naps
playing with hair 
matching outfits
voice messages 
always touching (somehow)
no space between bodies
picture taking together/ just of you
body rubs, head rubs
massages
competition 
play fighting
“this reminded me of you”
“I remember you said” “I know you...”
“you know I love you”
“I can tell by your eyes”
“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”
“nothing really made sense until you”
“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”
“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”
“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”
pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”
long stares
dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 
choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 
cuddles with movies /anime watching time
just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 
* emojis*- just some sort of communication 
inside jokes/ puns/dark humor
seeing 1 another with kids
future kink (family, travel, etc)
playing video games 
dancing/ singing with 1 another
Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits
Nerf gun fights 
Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)
•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>
•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 
• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art
•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides
•  He's both book & street smart
           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 
•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)
•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 
•  Hates silence 
         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>
•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 
(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)
• Over all pain has changed him
• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)
• Addiction (drugs/people/things)
•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction
        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)
• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up
•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli
• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much
    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting
• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)
• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)
•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy
•  Would be a phenomenal father
•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 
• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands
• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest
•  Still caught up in daydreams
•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  
•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released
•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)
•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 
• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..
•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him
•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)
•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)
•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)
          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years
•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)
•  Dinosaur obsessed 
• Internet & video games raised him
• He raised himself
Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.
•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"
              fav ranger- green 
•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)
•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..
•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate
•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹
•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days
•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>
• Pixar/Disney lover
        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>
•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 
    •  Pixar > Disney
         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)
• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)
•  Fall is his fav season (?)
•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)
•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 
•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 
•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)
• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)
•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.
•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.
•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX
• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 
• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.
• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.
• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.
• “hey baby- how you feelin” 
         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 
• Huge comforts for 1 another;
      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring
     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)
• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)
• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.
Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"
There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.
He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.
As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.
Lil spoon > big spoon.
<more to be added>
I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.
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indianamoonshine · 5 years
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CLYDE LOGAN / Nsfw Alphabet
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*Aftercare: Clyde Logan adores the ritual you two share after sex. You slide off of him and grab his hand to lead him into the shower. The two of you wash one another with vanilla soap and the hot pink loofah you keep at his house. You wash his hair with gentle fingers, tussling his black locks, and then finish off with milk-and-honey scented conditioner. He does the same for you, except he knows you prefer lavender. He’ll wipe between your thighs to make sure all of his cum has washed off and then smiles down at you once you’re in the clear.
* Body part: Clyde likes his legs because they’re limber but you like everything about him. He begs to differ and coils away from the idea that you could even like - dare he say it? - the false right forearm, cold as iron. He loves your hair and your lips and could spend hours tracing the curve of your mouth with his fingertips.
* Cum: Clyde is a soft, sweet man and this proves true even in bed. He does, however, want a baby (girl) so the two of you have an agreement that he always comes inside. You grab his face when he’s about to break and kiss his nose and cheeks as a silent affirmation. He comes with a grunt - wordless, though enough, and ridiculously out of breath. After, he slides out of you and then lies on his stomach, eye-level with your sex, watches as you pulse, and admired the way his cum drips very slowly out of you. He smirks. “Ain’t no way you’re not pregnant now, baby.”
* Dirty Secret: Clyde really wants you to ride his face. Like...a lot. But he’s too afraid to bring it up. (SOMEONE TELL HIM!!!)
* Experience: Clyde wasn’t a virgin before he met you but it was only once in high school (senior year) after a football game. For someone who’s only gotten laid once, he really knows what a woman wants and he’s very good at pleasing you. After you have sex for the first time, the two of you are lying side-by-side and staring at the ceiling trying to catch your breath. Finally, he just says, “‘S what I was missin’ out on? The bed is much better than the bleachers.”
* Favorite position: You expect Clyde to be strictly vanilla when the two of you start dating, but he surprises you by lifting you into a reverse wheelbarrow position one night. While he does enjoy missionary, he also wants to please you by shaking things up. For him, just being able to watch your face when you come around his cock is enough, but you’re a little adventurous and he knows that. Needless to say, Clyde prefers to see your face when having sex - he enjoys positions where he’s able to kiss you intimately.
* Goofy: Clyde holds steadfast that the secret to a healthy relationship is happy sex. There’s a difference between fucking and, well, having sex as though it’s a chore. The first time, you giggle after he tickles your stomach (a total accident) and he leans his forehead against yours, chuckling along. “S’ funny, baby?” “You’re tickling me!” “You’re so cute, darlin’.”
* Hair: Clyde doesn’t shave, but he does trim. He hates poor hygiene - learned it in the military.
* Intimate: Clyde is such a softie, so intimacy in bed is a must. He loves to kiss your face, your tummy, your thighs. He snuggles against the two of you when you spoon, his hips thrusting against your back, and nose brushing against your hair. “I love you, baby. I love you so much. Don’t’chu ever leave me, ya hear?”
* Jack-off: When you’re away (more than likely visiting family or traveling for work), Clyde thinks about the way your cunt pulses around him before you finish. It’s enough to send him over the edge and he cums with a grunt, your name falling off his lips like a prayer. He wishes it were his seed dripping out of you and not between his fingers.
* Kink: BREEDING KINK. You’re totally into it as well, especially when he hisses into your ear, “Gonna fuck you full, sweet-thing. You’re gonna be soppin’ wet. Love it when your pussy is filled with my cum, darlin’. Gonna put a baby in you.” When you come with a whine, he almost screams.
* Location: Most one of your beds, but Clyde has fucked you in the bar more than once (on the tables, in the bathroom, outside by the trash bins against the brick of the building, and even on the bar itself...)
* Motivation: He’ll fuck you whenever. He adores you. Loves you. But when you wear his t-shirts (and nothing else) he goes absolutely BESERK with want. One night, after a shower, you slip on one of his white-shirts, the water sticking to your skin and allowing your breasts to show against the fabric. He gulps as you lean against the door frame of his bedroom, tits pressed against the looseness of the shirt. He growls, walking towards you, and rips it off of you. “Whaddya think yer doin’ to me, baby?”
* NO: He doesn’t hit you during sex. He doesn’t slap your ass or anything. He hates the idea.
* Oral: Mmm, girl...Clyde loves, LOVES, oral. He loves giving more than receiving. He’s go down on your for hours if he could, but you usually make sure to stop him before you can come. “Please, baby. Just lemme taste you. Just wanna make you come on my mouth. Please...” or, my personal favorite, “love the taste of this pussy, baby...s’ like fruit.”
* Pace: Depends. He enjoys a solid, good fuck, but he also loves the romance of slow, tempting sex. The kind of sex that requires candles and thunderstorms. One day, during a rather tumultuousVirginia storm, the power goes out. The two of you light candles all around the trailer, and he lays you down on a blanket of the living room floor, and simply makes serious love with you. He loves the way your body arches beneath him - how he can slide his hands across your body until he can caress your jaw... (is it hot in here? Lmao)
* Quickie: Clyde hates quickies. He wants to take his time with you. “You deserve it, sweetheart. Wanna please you right.”
* Risk: He’s not a huge risk-taker. He’s too shy for that shit.
* Stamina: The two of you can go at it like rabbits, but only with a break between rounds.
* Toy: He once found your Jack Rabbit (by pure happenstance) underneath your bed in a hat box. “What’s this, baby? This what you do when I’m gone?” You blush, but a curiosity sparks within him. “Show me, baby. I wanna see how it’s done.”
* Unfair (Tease): He doesn’t tease you, but you love to sure as hell tease him. You’ll hike yourself in his lap when he’s watching TV and run your finger down his chest. When he goes to kiss you or slide his hands in your panties, you wag a finger. “Please, baby. Lemme touch you. Wanna touch you so bad. Lemme fuck that pretty pussy.”
* Volume: He’s not very loud, but he loves it when you moan for him, mouth forming into a delicate “oh”. It spurs him on to hear how desperate you are.
* Wild Card: Clyde is - and I cant express this enough - so good at dirty talk. When he says things like, “Gonna fuck this pretty pussy raw” you go absolutely limp. He once mumbled in your ear: “Want everyone to know you’re limpin’ cause of me.” You, um...medically died for a second.
* X-Ray: Clyde Logan has a monsterous cock. When you blow him, you can only do it for a little bit before your jaw feels like it’ll lock. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
* Yearning: Clyde is touch-starved. He wants you all the time. He thinks about it literally 24/7. He loves the way your fingers dance against his skin. He just adores you, omg. Someone help.
* Zzz: Clyde likes to snuggle afterwards. He also loves pillow-talk. He tells you about his childhood and you talk about the stars. When he falls asleep, it’s usually on your tummy.
((((((Clyde Logan is my dream man and I want him to **** me bye))))))
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ms-m-astrologer · 6 years
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Transiting Venus enters Cancer
May 19 - June 13, 2018
The traditional Cancer flower is the larkspur. I mean, those colors definitely shout “SUMMERTIME” to me!
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We’re still comfortably in the “Venus Hesperus” phase - Venus appearing as the Evening Star - and with this phase’s emphasis on the tried, true, and traditional, Cancer is a very congenial place. The card, the bouquet or corsage, the home-cooked meal, all those Western-world symbols of Romance. We get so caught up in what our tribal culture is telling us that we run into trouble, though - as we’re going to discover, during this 26-day transit.
We’re going to be very conservative about finances. I suppose one stereotypical Cancerian way of dealing with money, is to stuff it into one’s mattress. It isn’t going to “grow” via dividend or interest payment, but nobody’s going to lose any money either. In the words of almost all my elderly relatives, we’ll “pinch the penny so hard it makes Lincoln cry.” The exception is for spending on food (comfort food in particular), and on the home. Sheets, blankets, pillows, cookware and bakeware, things like that. Whatever makes that Cancerian shell more comfortable to inhabit.
The “patriotic” side of Cancer is going to show up in our artistic pursuits. As a US citizen I know that this means Sousa marches (which are fun to play, at least), Robert Frost, Norman Rockwell, and all those other homegrown artistes. This is a sign for feeling, not for thinking or plotting - we want to express our feelings via our creativity; and we want to relax and refresh ourselves via art that makes us feel good.
As for beauty - let’s wear Mom’s lipstick, and search for treasure in the thrift store! Vintage is the rage.
There is just one big problem with this transit, though: almost all the aspects are “challenging.” Almost, I said. I feel like we’re going to respond to these challenges - be they financial, artistic, or romantic - by falling back on traditional, tried-and-true, nostalgic and historical strategies. That may not be such a bad idea, overall; we can certainly stand as a culture to bring back some Venus/Cancer attributes - the love of gardening, perhaps? (I’m going to be forever pissed at all my ancestors for not insisting that I learn to garden.)
Celebrities with Venus in Cancer:
Robert Plant, Judy Garland, Marquis de Sade, Zendaya, Kevin Hart, Lisa Kudrow, Chris Pine, Matthew Perry, Hilary Swank, Rupert Grint, Jack Black, Stephen Colbert, Stuart Sutcliffe, Lauryn Hill, Kim Cattrall, Anderson Cooper, Honore de Balzac, Geri Halliwell, Hulk Hogan, Grace Jones, Kat Dennings, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Jamie Oliver, Willem Dafoe, Idris Elba, Mata Hari, Jimmy Stewart
Saturday, May 19, Uranus/Taurus sextile Venus/Cancer, 0:12
We may be able to pick up some hints about how the Uranus/Taurus artistic side will express itself. This sextile between these two is always going to be pretty spontaneous, which its being in yin signs will tone down somewhat. I’m reminded of a story Linda Goodman told in one of her books. Upon meeting the actress Helen Hayes, her future husband Charles MacArthur is said to have poured peanuts into her hand, remarking, “I wish they were emeralds;” on one of their subsequent wedding anniversaries, he presented to her a present of emerald jewelry with the comment, “I wish they were peanuts.”
Planets/Points affected lie between 0:00 and 1:12 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.
Sunday, May 20, Ceres/Leo (15:57) semi-square Venus/Cancer (0:57); Chiron/Aries square Venus/Cancer, 1:33;  Jupiter Rx/Scorpio (16:50) sesquare Venus/Cancer (1:50)
The main thing here is the square to Chiron in Aries; Ceres/Leo and Jupiter/Scorpio “just” serve as additional irritants. That square is going to amp up our feelings of being unlovable; given how the sign Cancer and the Lady Asteroid Ceres operate, there’s probably some familial crap at the root of it. But with Jupiter, I’d wonder - are we exaggerating a bit? We may also be susceptible to being manipulated by somebody else’s sad-sack drama. With so much fire and water, it’s going to be difficult to stay out of it.
Planets/points affected lie between 0:00 and 2:50 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 14:57 and 17:50 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.
Tuesday, May 22, Vesta Rx/Capricorn opposite Venus/Cancer, 4:02
This can be likened to the poor emotional orphan Venus being sent to live with the cold, elderly maiden aunt. David Copperfield springs to mind. It looks pretty creepy and uninviting, but - what do you know? - David and Aunt Betsey turn out to be wonderful for each other. Use this Venus to warm Vesta up, and use Vesta’s pragmatism to strengthen Venus. The Virgo Moon, on Monday the 21st, might give us a practical outlet for this polarity’s energy.
Planets/Points affected lie between 3:02 and 5:02 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 18:02 and 20:02 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.
Friday, May 25, Saturn Rx/Capricorn opposite Venus/Cancer, 8:01
This is another ostensibly painful opposition, with Saturn denying Venus’ emotional needs. It’s in general a cold aspect, and I think the Libra Moon that day is going to exacerbate matters. That’s a temporary cardinal t-square, by the way! We need some Aries independence, courage, and “in your face” indifference to weather this successfully.
Planets/Points affected lie between 7:01 and 9:01 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 22:01 and 24:01 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.
Friday, June 1, Jupiter Rx/Scorpio trine Venus/Cancer, 15:31;  Saturday, June 2, Neptune/Pisces trine Venus/Cancer, 16:25;  Juno/Aries square Venus/Cancer, 16:46
Isn’t this an interesting situation! We’ve got a grand trine between Venus/Cancer, Jupiter Rx/Scorpio, and Neptune/Pisces. Too much of a good thing? There’s also a Capricorn Moon today, giving that watery emotional energy a practical outlet. But as luck would have it, that Moon/Capricorn also turns the square between Venus/Cancer and Juno/Aries into another temporary cardinal t-square. We’re not inclined to burden ourselves with other people, and/or we feel rejected by others - nevertheless the empty leg of the t-square, Libra, asks us to do just that. Strength in numbers, folks.
Trines: Planets/Points affected lie between 14:31 and 17:25 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.
Square:  Planets/Points affected lie between 15:46 and 17:46 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 0:46 and 2:46 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.
Tuesday, June 5, Pluto Rx/Capricorn opposite Venus/Cancer, 20:50
When the rulers of Taurus and Scorpio face off, there are financial implications. “What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is mine.” This can be ungenerous, and not only with money; we’re suspicious and all too willing to believe the worst about other people and ourselves. The Moon, in Pisces, gives us a little more sympathy, although it could also considerably amp up the self-pity.
Planets/Points affected lie between 19:50 and 21:50 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 4:50 and 6:50 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.
Friday, June 8, Eris/Aries square Venus/Cancer, 23:57
The final aspect of Venus/Cancer, and once again the Moon involves itself. It’s in Aries this time, and we’re therefore really responsive to those “unlovability” vibes Eris likes to give off. In fact we may decide to be unlovable, deliberately, because it saves us the pain of rejection. (I have so many relatives who behave that way.) Venus’ entry into Leo is less than a week away, and I honestly feel like most of us today will throw in the figurative Venus towel and wait for more congenial astrology.
Planets/Points affected lie between 22:57 and 24:57 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*; and between 7:57 and 9:57 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*.
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~ this/that autumn tag
I got tagged by my sis @youngwildandpixelated ...thanks boo 
1. “Autumn” or “Fall? Fall, autumn to me is for people who trying to be fancy lol
2. Pumpkin Carving or Apple Picking? Apple Picking, i think it would be fun and i just think the colors i would see would beautiful
3. Halloween or Thanksgiving? i love food so i have to say Thanksgiving
4. Cashmere or Flannel? Flannel...im a girl that loves her some plaid
5. Cool & Crisp or Warm & Foggy? although i dont like to be cold i love to got out feel that crispness of a cool fall day
6. Yankee Candles or Roaring Fireplace? i would say Yankee Candles, but i think i would try a fireplace if i had one
7. Scarves or Berets? Scarves...i have always loved soft things i can wrap myself in ^_^
8. Cinnamon or Nutmeg? Cinnamon...i mean a cinnamon coffee cake is the best
9. Reading a Book or Watching a Movie? i used to read so much, but i would have to say watch a movienow
10. Halloweentown or Nightmare Before Christmas? i dont think i have seen either movie in its entirety but i say Nightmare Before Christmas
11. Hot Chocolate or Apple Cider? not a fan of hot beverages but i like chocolate, so imma say hot chocolate
12. Trick or Treat? lol...i like the tricks, but you get in less trouble with the treats
13. Marshmallows or Whipped Cream? whipped cream
14. Jack or Sally? Jack, i like his style...lol
15. Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of the Dark? i dont remember to much about either one...they werent really my thing
16. Plaid or Neutral like i said earlier, your girl loves herself some plaid ^_^
17. Coffee or Tea? does ice tea count???lol
18. Studyblr or Halloween Blog? Halloween Blog
19. Blankets or Pillows? i like the cool side of pillow, but love me a good blanket 
20. Cabins or Cottages? cabin, as long as it is in the middle of nowhere
21. Scary or Spoopy? spoopy
22. Sweaters or Boots? i have grown to have a love for sweaters...especially the ones with the really long sleeves
23. Caramel Apples or Candy Apples? candy apples
24. Hay Rides or Leaf Peeping? hay sounds all around itchy, lol...so i am go with the leaf peeping
thanks for including me in the fun sister o mine, @youngwildandpixelated ...now i do not think imma tag anyone since i think anyone that i would have tagged as already done it or as already tagged lol 
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se-toadyturtles · 7 years
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Scholar Questions/Prompts!
1. When is your scholar’s birthday?
2. What are some hobbies your scholar has?
3. Do they have any pets?
4. Does your scholar have any irrational fears?
5. What is their biggest fear?
6. How many siblings do they have, if any?
7. Do they have any other important family members/role models in their life?
8. Does your scholar excel in anything besides their chosen field? (dancing, academics, debating, failing, etc.)
9. Has your scholar ever lost something important to them? (a person, pet, item, etc.)
10. Does your scholar prefer to confess or be confessed to?
11. What is their first reaction to figuring out they have a crush?
12. Is there any other people your scholar is interested in besides their main crush?
13. What genre of music does your scholar like?
14. Does your scholar have a place that they like to go to often? (a shop, restaurant, park, etc.)
15. Are there any activities that your scholar doesn’t like? (swimming, drawing, etc.)
16. Name something your scholar is bad at.
17. If your scholar could have a different hairstyle, what would it be?
18. What is their favorite animal?
19. Does your scholar want any tattoos?  If they already have some, do they want more?  And of what?
20. How many stuffed animals did they have as a child?
21. Do they still have their stuffed animals?
22. Name a food/drink your scholar loves.
23. Name a food/drink your scholar hates.
24. What is your scholar’s dream date?
25. Who is their celebrity crush, if any?
26. What is their favorite song?
27. Do they have a song they hate?
28. Does your scholar sing in the shower?
29. Name any disability your scholar has. (some might not have any)
30. Is your scholar self-conscious about anything?  If so, what is that thing?
31. Does your scholar get along with their parent(s) or guardian(s)?
32. What is their sexuality?
33. What is their gender? (boy, girl, trans, etc.)
34. What is their favorite part of their crush’s body? (their hair, eyes, etc.)
35. What is their favorite part of their crush’s personality? (their kindness, generosity, sarcasm, etc.)
36. Is your scholar selfish at all?
37. Does your scholar have any silly secrets?
38. Does your scholar have any big secrets?
39. What is their favorite article of clothing?
40. What is their least favorite article of clothing?
41. Does your scholar have a middle name?  If so, do they like it?
42. Does your scholar have any grandparents?  If so, which side of the family are they on?
43. What was your scholar’s first word?
44. Does your scholar get sick easily?
45. Is your scholar ticklish?
46. Does your scholar have any triggers? (the sound of keys jingling, the sound of a garage door, the sight of blood, etc.)
47. How does your scholar wear the uniform?
48. Does your scholar like Coach Davis?
49. Does your scholar like Lady Arlington?
50. How would your scholar’s life be different had an important event in their past happened differently? (if their mom/dad/guardian was still alive, if they hadn’t lost that one item, had they listened that one time, etc.)
51. How did your scholar meet their crush?
52. Does your scholar like cold temperatures?
53. Can your scholar tolerate hot weather?
54. Where was your scholar born?
55. Does your scholar believe in aliens?
56. Does your scholar believe in ghosts?
57. What was that one embarrassing thing they did a long time ago?
58. If you have more than one scholar, how to they react to each other?  Do they get along?
59. How did they meet their best female friend?
60. How did they meet their best male friend?
61. What is, according to your scholar, the most sensitive part of their body? (neck, ears, feet, etc.)
62. What was their dream as a child? Has it changed since growing up?
63. Does your scholar still like to watch cartoons?
64. Where were your scholar’s parent(s) or guardian(s) born?
65. Is there anything about your scholar’s past that they don’t want anyone to know?
66. Has your scholar ever kissed anyone? 
67. What is your scholar’s favorite holiday?
68. What do they enjoy dressing up as on Halloween?  If they don’t dress up or go trick-or-treating, then what do they do instead?
69. It’s your crush’s birthday!  What does your scholar get/do for them?
70. How would your scholar react to seeing their crush crying?
71. How would your scholar react to seeing their enemy crying?
72. Can your scholar eat spicy food?
73. Does your scholar like to show off?
74. Is your scholar a wallflower or the center of attention?
75. Does your scholar cry easily?
76. Who is your Scholar’s enemy, if they have one?
77. Have they ever been bullied?
78. Have they ever bullied?
79. What is their favorite fairy tale, if they have one?
80. Is there an animal/creature they wished was real? (unicorn, pegasus, elf, mermaid/merman, etc.)
81. Do they enjoying school?
82. Do they have any bad habits? (nail biting, smoking, drinking, etc.)
83. Do they have any good habits? (always applying sunscreen, always washing their face, etc)
84. Is there a reason why your scholar acts the way they do? (always happy, always kind, always breaking rules, etc.)
85. What is their favorite card game? (slap jack, solitaire, uno, etc.)
86. What is their favorite board game? (monopoly, chess, clue, etc.)
87. Does your scholar have an accent? If so, is it heavy or light?
88. What do they like doing on the weekends?
89. What kind of clothes does your scholar prefer? (comfy, casual, elegant, etc.)
90. Is your scholar allergic to something?
91. What does your scholar like about their body the most? (their hair, eyes, legs, etc.)
92. What does your scholar like about their personality the most? (their quick wittedness, their sense of humor, etc.)
93. Can your scholar run fast?
94. Does your scholar like to exercise?
95. What does your scholar prefer, cats or dogs?
96. Does your scholar like anime?
97. Does your scholar like kpop?
98. Is there anything that inspires your scholar? (a person, certain music, art, etc)
99. Is your scholar flexible?
100. If there was something they could change, what would it be? (something in their past, something about the present, their person or another person, etc.)
101. Are they submissive or dominant in their relationship?
102. How tall is your scholar?
103. How would your scholar’s parent(s) or guardian(s) react to them having a crush?
104. How would your scholar’s parent(s) or guardian(s) react to them introducing their crush?
105. Does your scholar have any powers? (flying, invisibility, time control, etc.)
106. How does your scholar like to cuddle with their crush? (spooning, one on the other’s lap, laying next to each other, lap pillow, etc)
107. How would your scholar react to their crush finding out about one of their secrets? (silly or big) (bonus question: how does their crush react to it?)
108. Does your scholar have any old friends from their childhood that they are still in touch with?
109. What is their favorite color?
110. What is their biggest regret?
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artificialqueens · 7 years
Text
6 AM ||Shalaska|| - Kitt
A/N: not good at sickfics or fluff whoops
Everyone was in Alaska’s room. She literally wanted to die. It was six o’clock in the morning, a whole hour before she actually needed to get up. She was too hot and too cold and felt like literal shit. Naturally, her first response was to wake up Willam, who didn’t take kindly to the idea of waking up early (“Suck a dick, I’m trying to sleep”), whose decided to get Sharon (“‘cause, y’know, you like her an’ all.”). Sharon brought Jinkx (“Don’t leave me, it’s dark!”), who brought Adore (“I think Alaska is dying.”) who told Courtney (“I’ve got to come, I’ll make her feel better!”). The next thing she knew half of her dorm was in her room. She buried her head in her pillow and sighed. Courtney patted her back, but that just made her feel worse.
“Courtney, if you don’t fucking stop that I’ll literally vomit. Don’t try me.”
Courtney removed her hand from Alaska’s back sharpish. Alaska still felt sick. She was visibly shivering. She rolled onto her back, an effort which took all the strength she had in her.
“I’ll get you a glass of water?” Adore offered, tilting her head. It was early, but she was totally wide awake. But she always was. Jacked up on Red Bull 24/7, Courtney had told her. The perkiness of her voice was only slightly getting on Alaska’s nerves.
“Yeah, that’ll help.” Courtney agreed. Willam rolled her eyes and straightened her pyjama top. It was blue and covered in little St Bernards, and Courtney thought that was incredibly cute. The volume in the room was increasing and even Willam thought Alaska would want a little peace.
“Look, you,” she pointed at Naomi,”And you, at Bob,”You, you and you,” Chad, Latrice and Phi Phi,”Out. Now.”
They grumbled but obliged anyway. Phi Phi gave Alaska a gentle hug, which was strange since they’d barely spoken outside of arguments. This earned a roll of Sharon’s eyes which, luckily, went unnoticed by Phi Phi.
“Hope you feel better for double chem.” Chad joked, her voice edged with amusement, shutting the door behind her. The sudden ‘bang’ was enough to wake up the entire school, let alone the dorm.
“Fuuuuuuck!” Alaska groaned, rolling over and burying her head in her pillow. Jinkx gave her an, ever so slightly awkward, pat on the back. It took all of Alaska’s willpower to not turn around and snap at her. She was trying her best but couldn’t help but mumble a feeble ‘stop, Jinkxy’. What a shame ‘Jinkxy’ didn’t hear her. She patted her back again, because, y’know, Jinkx really believed she was helping.
“Jinkx! Fuck off!” Alaska sat up and whipped her head around so quickly that Jinkx nearly fell off of the bed all together. Alaska probably yelled louder than necessary but, if Jinkx didn’t cut that shit out, she’d regret it.
“Sorry, ‘laska.” She squeaked, looking wounded as she relocated from the bed to the floor. Courtney giggled sympathetically before pulling gently on the sleeve of Adore’s pyjamas,
“Should we go? I think they’ve got this and, if you don’t get any more sleep, you’ll be pissed at me for not telling you to go to bed.”
Adore shook her head and laughed, but knew it was true. Before Alaska knew it, there was only her, Jinkx, Willam and Sharon left in the room. Jinkx still looked a bit offended when Alaska looked down at her, so she flashed her one of the famous smiles she usually only gave Sharon. That seemed to do the trick.
“Sorry for annoying you, Alaska.” She smiled, fiddling with the sleeves of her pyjamas. Alaska shrugged. She wanted to reply with actual words but, if she opened her mouth, she felt she’d literally be sick. And Willam probably wouldn’t appreciate that.
“What’s up, baby?” This time it was Sharon speaking to her. She sat down beside Alaska and gave her a somewhat hesitant hug. Another shrug. She wanted to pull away from Sharon, lie down, suffocate herself with her pillow, but something told her Sharon was making an effort, so she went along with it.
“C’mon, Lasky, what’s wrong?”
Willam was looked through narrowed eyes at Sharon from the opposite side of the room,
“If you make her fuckin’ vomit on the carpet, I’ll kill you.”
Sharon simply laughed in response to this. She brushed Alaska’s hair from her face before pulling her away, appearing surprised.
“Willam, she’s really warm.”
Willam shrugged before making her way to the door,”I’ll go get someone, then.”
She wanted out and then was the perfect opportunity. Jinkx watched the door shut before turning to Sharon,
“H-“
“Go with her, Jinkx.” Sharon cut her off. If she was to stay, Sharon knew Jinkx would inevitably be a third wheel.
Indifferent to being interrupted, Jinkx gave a small nod,”Ok, whatever. See you later, Sharon. Uh, Alaska? Hope you feel better.”
It was quiet after everyone had left. Alaska still felt like shit, but marginally better shit. She sniffed. Sharon didn’t know whether it was because her nose was running or she was crying. She guessed the latter.
“It’s ok, Alaska, you can cry if you want to.”
Alaska laughed slightly, but Sharon knew it was forced.
”I’m not crying, you fucking idiot, it’s my nose.”
But only seconds after she’d said that her giggles had turned into quiet, snuffling sobs. She couldn’t see Alaska’s face; she had turned away. It hurt Sharon to see her in such a mess, no matter how much they quarrelled. They were famous throughout Miss Charles’ School for Girls for their… disputes.
“Oh, Alaska.” She murmured, taking a deep breath. She’d never been good at dealing with tears.
Alaska gave a small sniff and buried her head in the crook of Sharon’s neck. Sharon began to absentmindedly run her hands through Alaska’s straight, blonde hair. The poor thing was still unbearably warm.
“Why are you crying, babe?” Sharon tried to keep her voice soft and quiet and not yell as much as she normally would? It was a bit of a dumb question, given the events of the morning, but Sharon didn’t have any words in her head that would make sense at that moment. Alaska shook her head. Sharon didn’t ask again. Instead, she chose to wrap an arm around her shoulders. And, eventually, Alaska spoke up.
“I feel so shit.”
That was all.
“Aww, I’m sorry.”
Because she didn’t know what else to say.
“At least you’ll get sent home. And miss double chemistry, like Chad said. Fucking lucky. But I guess you could’ve picked a better day; It’s Friday! You’d have been going home tonight anyway.”
“I know.” Alaska sniffed, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her PJs,”Boarding school fucking sucks, huh?”
Sharon shrugged, pulling Alaska’s hands from her eyes and using her own sleeve to dry the tears.
“Boarding school means I get to see you every day.”
Alaska had never heard Sharon say anything so mushy. It made her feel a little better to know they weren’t arguing. Again.
“I love you, Needles.” Her voice was only just loud enough for Sharon to hear. She kissed her hot forehead and Alaska thought if Sharon could just stay with her like this all day, she didn’t want to go home.
“I love you too, ‘Lasky. I’ll miss you today. It’s art and you’re not gonna be there to fucking crush me in paint.”
“Willam will probably do it. Tell Phi I said hi?” She joked, fully aware that Sharon would punch her playfully for even saying such a thing. Regarding Alaska’s current state, Sharon would usually come out with a mouthful of abuse about Phi Phi but she more or less dropped it. After all, Alaska probably didn’t want to hear her bitch about other people.
“Yeah, in your fucking dreams.”
Alaska smiled and everything was quiet.
“And… and will you come see me tonight?”
“You don’t even have to ask, even if you weren’t dying I’d still come.” Sharon giggled.
“That’s kinda poetic.”
“What else would you expect from me this early, on about three hours of sleep, a Red Bull and a wish?”
“Nothing less.” Alaska shrugged, but Sharon knew it was an effort.
“I hope you feel better tonight. You’re no fun when you’re sick.”
Alaska gave a faint giggle, looking bemused,”I can’t fucking help it.”
Sharon smiled,”I know. But if you’re gonna-“
She was interrupted by a sneeze.
“If you’re gonna be like this, you won’t let me leave. I’ll be stuck fucking cuddling you forever.”
“I don’t see what’s so bad about that.”
“You’re like my fucking cat.”
This seemed to lift Alaska’s mood ever so slightly. She gave a half hearted playful ‘meow’,
“I love Cerrone.”
“Sometimes I wonder if the only reason you’re with me is my cat.” Sharon cackled.
“Never! I’m with you for your good looks… your charming personality… your, uh…” She pretended to think, stopping,”I dunno.”
“Maybe my willingness to come to your fucking room at six am?” Sharon snapped, but it was only in a playful manner.
“Yeah. That too, I guess.”
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Text
{C.M x Reader} Headcanons P.1
- His hands are probably cold 24/7 and you know he uses that shit for evil
- Like, during cuddle times he just rests his cold ass hands on your tummy and laughs while you screech and squirm in his hold - He loves when you play with his hair????? He thinks it’s the most soothing thing. - On a side note, his hair is sO SOFT? AND HE WON’T TELL YOU WHAT CONDITIONER HE USES, LIKE THE HEATHEN THAT HE IS.  - Boy would probably adopt a small pupper with you.  “(F/N), that is not a dog that is a damn cotton ball with legs.” “His name is Prince Fluffy Bottom, Connor! Show him some respect!” - He’s probably low-key into watercolor paintings? And he’s unapologetically amazing at it?!?! You go, honey! - You make it a tradition to watch TNBC every Halloween/Christmas and you both always end up singing “Simply meant to be” at one another. You always alternate between who’s Jack and who’s Sally. - It depends on who starts the duet, really.  - Boy, does he like to stargaze; if he’s having a bad night he’ll wake you up and simply drag you outside to watch the stars with him. - Most of the time you’ll stay up with him and just stargaze, but on those rare nights where you’re too exhausted to even blink he’ll pull you close and let you use him as a pillow. - Do not let this child into a kitchen by himself, it’s just a huge mess afterward. - He doesn’t mean to make a mess, he just can rarely find anything and measurements are, in his own words, bullshit. Plus, the hand mixer attacked him first!  - On the other hand, when you’re there with him he follows your every word. That is, until you’re so deep in your cooking/baking zone that he feels neglected. - It soon becomes a game of “how many kisses can I give (F/N) before they get so distracted we just call for takeout?”  - Boy oh boy, is he protective/possessive. It can get a bit out of hand, but you don’t necessarily blame him? He just doesn’t want someone to take you away from him, and that’s pretty sweet. “Why he touching my (F/N)? Where he going with my (F/N)?!” - You’re not as possessive as Connor, but damn are you protective. You’d go to war for Connor if he said someone looked at him distastefully.
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