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raging-tackeydios · 8 months

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shitty idea time: monster hunter monsters if they had personalities/characters and bantered with the hunter mid-fight instead of being mindless animals

for context the variant, deviant, subspecies, etc. monsters would have the same lines as the vanilla species but with different VAs, paralleling how their hunting horns are the same melody with different instruments

i didn't do all of them because i couldn't really think of personalities for all of them

okay go

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"great/drome" monsters: somewhere between the soldier and charlie from pikmin 3: military commanders ordering about their pack members in battle with...less than effective results

(blue) yian kut ku: constantly scared, bellyaching about how his auricles hurt or he's out of breath and such, and would very much rather be somewhere else: he's a big chicken, after all

(scarred, deadeye) yian garuga: basically imagine scratch from adventures of sonic the hedgehog if he wanted sonic ground into a bloody paste instead of merely hurt or captured: he even has the voice too. throws huge temper tantrums when you get knocked out of the arena or another monster intrudes because it means he can't fight you any more

cephadrome: constantly taunting the player about how he's so hard to hit under the sand, but the moment he gets dragged out he starts begging for mercy and running away

(ruby) basarios: too fat and stupid to even realize you're trying to attack him, or that he's attacking you...kinda like louie from pikmin honestly

(black) gravios: lazy, almost depressed, even, and doesn't really care about the fact that you're trying to beat the snot out of him: if you win, he dies, and if your weapons bounce off of his carapace he gets to wallow and be miserable more, so it's a win-win situation

(purple) gypceros: adhd personified. hyperactive as hell and constantly getting distracted during the fight, only to circle back and get super pissed at you: when he "dies" the first time he gets sad that his prank didn't work if you don't fall for it

(red) khezu: weird scrimbly bimbly thing that only talks in short sentence fragments, is constantly sniffing around to get a read on you, and sounds garbled like he's underwater. also the screaming. he's constantly screaming seemingly at random. kinda like a much more gooey hyness

(gold, pink) rathian: more down to earth than rathalos (because she stays on the ground.) she gets tired of having to basically babysit rathalos sometimes but she still loves him with all her heart. constantly trying to rein him in and get him to take you seriously during the fight when they're fighting together: regardless of whether he's killed or captured she breaks down sobbing and trying to avenge him

(silver, azure) rathalos: imagine a flying version of bowser from the mario RPGs. dumb as bricks, and he's not really treating the fight as life or death, but more like just a thing he does every tuesday: he's happy to see you, but he still has to act like the bad guy. you can hear him trying to practice his evil laugh as he's flying away, then berating himself for it not being good enough. if he's fighting with rathian he gets a lot more meek when she's captured and almost goes dead silent for the rest of the fight when she's killed

diablos: has a potty mouth that would put a sailor to shame. during his turf war with black diablos they both get off on the fact they're beating the crap out of each other

bloodbath diablos: basically a fusion between kai yan and tartarus from dragalia. believes that the philosophy of "might makes right" is the ultimate creed, and wipes out any monsters near him because he believes they're weak and unfit of fighting to live. meanwhile he kills humans for the slight they inflicted on him in the past. gets more desperate as the fight wears on because he cannot be anything less than the perfect being, and when he dies/gets captured he's not mad because he lost, he's mad because he lost to you.

black diablos: horny. angry and very very horny. does not care about the fact that you're a fraction of her size: she's getting off on the fact that you're dealing intense bodily harm to her and thus she wants you inside her. basically the embodiment of this meme here:

(white) monoblos: a friendly rival to diablos, and treats the entire fight as a huge pissing contest between them, even when the former is nowhere to be found. very proud of his horn. knows hunters are always after him as a rite of passage, so he's sort of fallen into a mentor-like role, and he's always proud when he gets slain or captured

(plum, stonefist) daimyo hermitaur: scared and is constantly hiding behind his claws, prioritizing keeping you the hell away at all times. very antisocial.

(terra) shogun ceanataur: extremely proud of his claws, yelling about keeping your hands off "the merchandise" once he gets enraged, and both figuratively and literally starts foaming at the mouth once they get broken. gets really embarrassed once his shell is broken, and stays meek like that for the rest of the fight

rustrazor ceanataur: acts like a drug addict, only with the drug references replaced with references to sharpening his claws on glavenus' skull

(green, lucent, silverwind) nargacuga: wants to act like a ninja. ends up acting more like something out of naruto. also he recites his own version of darkwing duck's "i am the terror that flaps in the night" thing at the beginning of the fight

(molten, grimclaw) tigrex: dim, but a really nice guy, kind of like a large dog, and actually doesn't mind you fighting to the death that much: the problem is that he's CONSTANTLY FUCKING SCREAMING EVERYTHING HE SAYS AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. his violent charges aren't actually charges he's just trying to give you a big hug. with his mouth.

(furious) rajang: imagine goku but like a minimum of ten times as violent and with the battle-obsessed stalker-ish qualities of nemona. can be sometimes heard humming parts of the DK Rap when calm. his fight is as much him showboating as he is trying to maul you

(flaming) espinas: talks in his sleep. starts off asleep and mutters stuff like "just five more minutes mom" as you hit him, then gradually starts groggily walking around. then when you hit him enough he loses his shit and starts swearing up a storm while beating the tar out of you...and then eventually the adrenaline wears off and he reverts to the passive half-asleep version of himself.

akantor/ukanlos: acts like a JRPG villain's monstrous final form, with parallels to each other's lines

arzuros: expy of banjo. one of the few monsters that actually gets along with qurupeco

(snowbaron) lagombi: sort of like a skier. less focused on fighting you and just happily slip-sliding around on the ice.

volvidon: constantly warning you to keep your distance mid-fight: since the Soiled gas is actually just flatulence, he's worried he's going to have a bit of stress-induced incontinence

(crimson) qurupeco: you know how squidward believes he has lots of talent with the clarinet but he actually plays like ass? yeah imagine that but replace the clarinet but with monster roars. all the other monsters only come to his "aid" just to shut him the hell up, and he's gleefully unaware of this even as he's being ripped to shreds

barroth: has a couple pebbles rattling around in his crown in lieu of a brain, and thus goes nuts like a dog seeing a mailman with a single minded pursuit to run you over

nibelsnarf: obsessed with food. will eat any bombs you put down and deem them delicious, even after they explode in his gullet and he calls them "a bit spicy."

(steel) uragaan: basically a goron in all but name: loud, boisterous, rolls to get around, and loves eating rocks

(rust) duramboros: basically an old miner that mostly just wants some peace and quiet. has to put a considerable amount of effort into all of his attacks, especially the one where he throws himself into the air like a shot put, and starts complaining about his back after he lands

(thunderlord) zinogre: a breakdancer. constantly boasting about his moves in battle and treats his fulgurbug tenants as "special effects."

brachydios: acts like a hammy heel wrestler such as rawk hawk or incineroar...even though he's supposed to be a boxer instead of a wrestler. sometimes he acts like he's sparring with you instead.

raging brachydios: the same heel persona from before, but now all washed up and depressed, desperately grasping at his former fame. near the end where he traps you in his lair he gets his old passion back as he goes completely apeshit for one last fight

(savage) deviljho: not really much different from his canon incarnation, except now he just moans or roars "STILL...SO...HUNGRY..." at times

(ash) kecha wacha: somewhere between a class clown and a memelord. hangs on branches and canopies specifically to cackle at you.

(desert) seltas: speaks like a stereotypical robot. not much to him unless he's being used as a puppet by the seltas queen: he is a drone, after all

(berserk) tetsucabra: somewhere between big the cat and big man. the rocks he pulls up are supposed to be for him to hide behind, but he's so dim he thinks you're gone too.

(tidal) najarala: a stereotypical snake character that speakssss like thissss. sometimes he accentuates the hissing noises by rattling his tail along with them. gets pissed off when you escape his "ring of doom" attack, as he has to spend a lot of time positioning himself to circle around you and enact it.

(shrouded) nerscylla: looks intimidating but is actually really shy and timid (sorta reflects real tarantulas tbh). her gypceros pelt is like a beloved hoodie to her and she gets really sad when it's destroyed

(tigerstripe) zamtrios: actually a really nice guy. the problem is, like real sharks, he figures out whether something is food or not by biting it. obviously most hunters don't let him nibble them and just whack him, so he ends up fighting most people he meets. also he makes the "dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun" from Jaws while he's swimming through ice. his voice lines get pitched up super high when he's inflated.

(desert) seltas queen: speaks much like A Certain Other Queen (The One Who Is: At The Very Least Kinda Sorta Famous) and treats her seltas underlings like garbage. once she fully takes control of the seltas they speak in unison

seregios: imagine jaleel white's sonic if he could shoot his spines. and also fly. spins the fact that he's basically a refugee by saying he's spreading freedom wherever he goes, much like the real sonic. deep down, he isn't buying it.

(boltreaver) astalos: crackheaded hyperactive maniac. makes a lot of references to monster energy: this is because his electric powers don't come from his special muscles, but from him guzzling down a potent cocktail of stimulants and cans of monster by the truckload. explains the crackheadedness i guess. repeatedly denies that he's crazy to the rest of the fated four

(violet) mizutsune: huge bitch. he wants to be looked at and for everything to be about him all the time, and he throws temper tantrums sometimes when it isn't. also he's horny. very horny. he sounds snooty and effeminate like Juno Songs' portrayal of rubber band from Paper Mario: The Origami King

soulseer mizutsune: f u c k i n g sans undertale

(acidic, hellblade) glavenus: acts like a noble knight and will lay down his life to protect other members of the fated four. gets into quarrels with gammoth who is of a similar mindset. despite being a protector, his real love is cooking, which he does with his heated tailblade.

(elderfrost) gammoth: also a protector, but in a more motherly sort of way i guess. big enough to encompass the entire rest of the fated four so she just uses herself as a shield.

(nightcloak) malfestio: somewhere between a jester and a magician. constantly talks a big game about gaining sleight of hand on you, and gets flustered when you can outgambit his dirty tricks

ahtal-ka: imagine peridot's voice and personality crossbred with the mechanical ingenuity, scientific passion, and sheer psychopathic bloodlust that TotK's version of link is known for. basically treats the entire fight as a giant experiment and actively takes notes each time you defeat her ahtal-neset, so she can get rid of the weak spots you target.

(fulgur) anjanath: basically the jerk jock trope personified, fitting how it's known as the "relentless ruffian." talks a big game in battle but is quick to fold when something bigger, like a rathalos, enters the scene

(ebony) odogaron: you know that scene from gumball where it's shown from the Evil Turtle's perspective and it's like "BITE BITE BITE EAT FOOD FOR STRENGTH TO BITE BITE BITE MAKE LITTLE TURTLES TO BITE EVEN MORE" ...yeah that's basically how this guy operates

tzitzi-ya-ku: basically a paparazzi/photographer. flees peacefully once he gets good "shots" of monsters (read: blinds them) and when he's fighting you he's more concerned about getting your good side and putting you in the right light than he is about self preservation

(seething) bazelgeuse: basically a much angrier version of the soldier. barely even knows why he's in this locale or that: all he knows is that he's not going home until something dies. flies into battle screaming at the top of his lungs.

aknosom: an acrobat and a performer. more concerned with stomping on your face like a goomba than actually doing anything effective. tries to lick you once you're close to its head while it's downed.

tetranadon: another wrestler-inspired character like brachydios, but this time he's a face instead of the heel. very self absorbed and is convinced all of the small monsters watching from the sidelines are there to cheer him on and boo you.

(blood orange) bishaten: an even bigger shitlord than kecha wacha. could not care less about whether he lives or dies because he had fun and he got to see you get pissed while doing it.

(magma) almudron: a cantankerous old dude. he's less interested in actually protecting his territory and more so just chasing you off it. constantly complaining and bellyaching regardless.

somnacanth: a parody of an idol. her singing voice is actually really good but she gets so passionate that she releases her signature narcotic dust, which puts any prospective audience to sleep. still, she tries to put on the best performance she can even mid-fight

auroracanth: the idol from before but now jaded and disillusioned with life.

(pyre) rakna-kadaki: a wicked witch-archetype character that cares really deeply about her rachnoid minions. gets really distraught when you kill them or knock over the sac she's using to incubate them. this does not stop her from eating the rachnoids that are males. basically imagine Magica deSpell (2017) if she had an entire army of lenas instead of just one

(scorned) magnamalo: a mirror to the fierce flame, constantly spouting out cheesy puns and one liners with almost all of his attacks. starts laughing like a maniac once he does that move where he runs around like crazy.

garangolm: very peaceful, even to the point that he's willing to forgive you up to a certain HP threshold or if captured. but this guy hates anyone who would disturb the peace or bully others, and eventually lose his shit and decry you going "YOU! ARE NOT! A NICE! PERSON!!!" or something like that

lunagaron: tries to put on a sonic.exe-esque vibe to seem more intimidating, contrary to what his werewolf-like design would suggest. he's very terrible at it and ends up flubbing his "lines" often.

(ashen) lao-shan lung: basically that hobo who sits on the street holding the "The End Is Near" sign. only this time the end is actually near because the only reason he's there is because he's fleeing from fatalis.

kirin: h o n s e

chameleos: basically scampton from deltarune chapter rewritten if he was a magician as well as a jester. his entire fight is, from his perspective, mostly a bunch of cool magic tricks, but he's also screwing with you a bit too. the problem is that he's not satisfied until you're having as much "fun" as he is, and he's insane and his desire for fun is insatiable. kinda like caine from the amazing digital circus

teostra: basically @darbycupit's portrayal of king leongar, but as a good guy. he's revered and treated by a noble king by all the other monsters.

lunastra: violently protective of teostra. will go apeshit on anything that so much as looks at him funny and he often sheepishly has to reel her back in. basically the opposite of rathian.

yama tsukami: basically a super-sized supernatural patrick star. doesn't really care about what he's doing or where he ends up as long as he gets to eat stuff.

alatreon: completely batshit insane. the schizo to end all schizos. the voices in his head are actually mental representation of his various active modes. with his dying breath he thanks you for keeping him from suffering split between multiple personalities.

amatsu: believes it is his divine right to take territory he wants, blowing out all others with mighty storms, and treats the fierce flame (and other animals in general really) with nothing but contempt. gets more desperate and rageful as the fight goes on because he doesn't want to be killed by what's basically an ant to him

gore magala: acts aloof and ominous in an attempt to appear cool. however, he's basically still just a kid on the inside, and as such his true childish personality often slips through the cracks

chaotic gore: incapable of making any speech other than pained howls. when killed he thanks you for ending his suffering.

shagaru magala: basically @stelyos' portrayal of fecto elfilis: a YHWH-like warlord god who sees all life as beneath him and worthy only of subjugation

nakarkos: starts the fight trying to keep up the facade that he's a two headed bone abomination, using his tentacles like puppets to keep up the con. however, as the fight rolls on and the tentacles get uncovered, he half-heartedly tries to keep up appearances before going "fuck it" to pop out and reveal his true form, and with it his true personality: a very gluttonous and boisterous pirate

(crimson glow) valstrax: the fastest thing alive, more concerned with showing off his incredible speed than actually fighting you. once he realizes he might actually be in trouble, he just doubles down and starts showboating harder instead of making an effort.

(blackveil) vaal hazaak: a mysterious necromancer-like character. what he actually wants is friends due to being holed up in the bottom layers of the vale and being too hazardous to approach, and when killed, he'll lament that he could really only have friends through effluvium necromancy.

(ruiner) nergigante: yet another bowser expy, this time of juno songs' portrayal of the character

velkhana: actually pretty chill. however, she has to keep up appearances, namely those from the frozen corpses she leaves around, and acts like a supervillainess while fighting you

namielle: dumb as a rock and only really cares about looking cool in battle and looking cool in general. basically an inkling in all but form and name.

malzeno: despite his elegant appearance he's actually a huge chuunibyou. he's really new to this whole "bad guy" schtick after becoming the qurio's host to protect everybody, so he's putting all the effort in all the wrong places of his performance.

primordial malzeno: a noble hero that willingly accepts the fact that he needs to die for the sake of everyone else at the beginning of the fight. as the infection progresses further he becomes less and less coherent and at the end he's basically only making pained screeches, begging for the fierce flame to end his misery during his brief periods of lucidity

zorah magdaros: the entire fight dialogue is basically a never ending long winded rambling old man monologue

shara ishvalda: basically imagine that thing about monika knowingly shutting down any streams she detects at her part of the story in DDLC, except different. shara ishvalda's banter isn't directed at the hunter. it's directed at you specifically. if you have an xbox kinect maybe the game would turn it on to look at you and better fit said banter.

safi'jiiva: similar to the other part of @stelyos' portrayal of fecto elfilis: a world-shaping godlike being that firmly believes that survival of the fittest is the only way the world can work, and since he is by definition the fittest, he's the only one that deserves to survive

ibushi: no thoughts only horny

narwa: constantly talking smack to you through the twins

gaismagorm: sounds like a massive mishmash of voices sort of like @darbycupit's portrayal of fecto forgo. it's not actually anything supernatural the voices just echo around in his weird flower mouth thing and they all sound different

all of the fatalises: somewhere between tartarus from dragalia lost on steroids and calamity ganon: a being that was so consumed by its hatred it turned into a nearly mindless shade of its former self

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