#just Jesus fucking Christ my heart

[becauseplot]

god that event was so cool, and us philza viewers got FED. phil spending the time beforehand building his arsenal. phil staying away from the crowds and checking in with fit and etoiles throughout the dinner. immediately clocking the fact that "chayanne" and "tallulah" weren't actually his kids. phil lurking in the back of the room, watching everyone get on stage for the photo, talking to forever about how skeptical he is, and just barely seeing his "kids" go code before being knocked out by the crash.

coming back to chaos. the goddamn stream music as he went toe to toe with the imposter code monsters. chat going fucking ballistic with "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD." cellbit telling everyone else to back off so phil can one-v-one the monster impersonating his son and take revenge. forgetting all of his preparations and just going full-on, old-school pvp sweat mode while being assisted by etoiles, the only guy on the server who wants the code dead just as much as he does. getting in the final hit and getting to see Chayanne was slain by [CODE BREAKER] in chat.

the real tallulah and chayanne showing up. his kids hugging him and hugging each other and asking him if he's alright and him admitting that he's a "little shaken up" but he's just glad they're okay. taking them home, putting them into bed, and collapsing back into his chair like everything that's happened has just come rushing back, a tidal wave of exhaustion as the adrenaline crash and relief come down on him.

like. holy fuck.

#dont mind me im just rambling #qsmp dinner event #q!philza #this post is all over the place but HOLY FUCK that was so cool #my heart was GOING during that event jesus christ #qsmp philza

[gwynbleiddyn]

even though it hurts, even though it scars, love me when it storms, love me when i fall, every time it breaks, every time it's torn / love me like i'm not made of stone--

something about broken-hearted barbs and choosing to love as much as they hurt really gets me in the honey nut feelios

#critical role #ashton greymoore #doodle tag #ep 65 was a DOOZY #i have not stopped thinking about ashton's 'they can fucking beg' speech jesus christ #tal is such a king #he gave ash just the right amount of asshole with a heart of gold tendencies #and is delivering a masterclass in showing and not telling how the world has changed ashton #and is currently changing them too #like... letting laudna fall not because they wanted to but because he knew she wouldn't be alone on the other side of it #it's such an underrated moment #i have so many thoughts being microwaved in my brain

[trinketbug]

shoutout to @shirajellyfish for writing the most incredibly terrifying piece of literature i have ever read!!!!!!!!!! i have experienced the full spectrum of human emotion reading their fic. my god

#i see you sundrop #dca #fnaf dca #my art #fnafsb #ok to rb #couldnt find a visual ref for riley so im just guessin #this fic scared me more than anything fnaf related ever has. #jesus fucking christ #the heart rate meme but the maximum is the chapter summary being from rileys pov and knowing something HORRIBLE is about to happen. #chica...

[tangledinink]

I'm concerned about your latest post, are you okay????

I'm okay!!! ^^; I'm not in any kind of danger or anything, I'm just having a bad day lol. I've had worse, though, and I will be fine.

#my heart rate also just tends to? trend high? it always kinda has #in particular when ive taken my adderall or had caffeine #and also anxiety obvs lol #one time when i worked at a vet office one of my coworkers came up like #hey i need to test if this heart monitor is working gimme your hand #so i did #and they were like #.... jesus christ are you ok #why is it so fucking high #and i was sitting there with my monster energy drink having just gotten off the phone w a #VERY difficult client #like #= w = ; w ; #LEAVE ME ALONE....... #asks #personal

[90sbee]

one thing you gotta know about me: if you put a tragic beefy blond dude in any sort of media i consume i will simply lose my mind btw. now i have to defend them forever and call them my babies for eternity. i am collecting these men.... conducting my research on why they own my ass like this.

#i dont talk abt steve tbh bc the mcu died when he was gone jdkdd and ENDGAME DID HIM SO DIRTY but. i love him love him love him #i adore bucky i adore sam too. #reiner is my sweet beloved and he is so so ANGSTY and i just. jesus fucking christ #i absolutely loved him from the start. the way he was so selfless and brave. #just wanted to be a good kid #sobbing #he owns my heart he does indeed #AND LEON. god #i dont even need to explain #stupid idiot. i need to die in his arms. and kiss his forehead. the silly idiot he is. #boludeces y reclamos mios(? #mine #steve rogers #reiner braun #leon kennedy

[bylertruther-moved]

will says that el has a book of letters from him because he’s just pointing out that they kept in contact regularly whereas he and mike didn’t but somehow mike interprets that as if will was implying there should be something romantic between them too and it stumps will bc that’s not what he meant at all and he doesn’t realize yet why mike is actually so mad or who he’s mad at, and while we clown mike for being oblivious i think will is oblivious too bc this isn’t the first time mike’s done that and yet. will doesn’t question it. he never does and they never talk about it. he just continues with what he’s saying about how they used to be best friends. they never talk about the fact that when will fights to salvage their friendship mike talks about it as if it was more than what it was and as if continuing as they were would get between his relationship with eleven. which implies that he himself feels that their relationship is inappropriate if he wants to date eleven concurrently and explains why it’s the only friendship within the party that seriously falls apart and why will is the only party member that he completely changes his behavior n actions towards and why he’s the only party member that he no longer touches once he dates eleven. which again also explains why after they start dating it’s only when eleven isn’t around that he allows a softer, more open and present mike to reappear around will. it’s just like. why would he do any of that if he’s not projecting? will is literally the one with a canonically confirmed interest in him and yet he’s mad at the roller rink because will is ignoring him [or so he thought at that point]. he’s not mad that eleven lied. he’s not mad at what those bullies did to her. he’s mad that will didn’t talk to him. he’s so mad and hurt by will that he doesn’t even console his girlfriend who was encircled, taunted, and had a milkshake thrown on her all on tape. he stays by will’s side despite everything, even when she’s fidgeting and crying to the side of them. to top it off he even makes a passive aggressive bitchy little comment at dinner afterward because he’s still. mad. at. will. will is the one that ruined his day. not those bullies being cruel to el, but will. it clouds his vision so much that he can’t even pretend or begin to attempt to entertain the idea of being there for her when she so clearly needs him. how does anyone fucking watch any of that and not get what’s going on. HOW????

#byler #YOUR GIRL JUST GOT BULLIED SEVERELY AND YET YOU'RE MAD AT THE BOY WHO USED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND? #WILL IS SAYING THAT YOU NEVER TALKED TO HIM AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK HE'S SAYING YOU NEED TO TREAT HIM LIKE #YOU TREAT ELEVEN? SOMEHOW YOU THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT WANTING MORE THAN JUST FRIENDSHIP? #WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THINKING IT YOURSELF... WHEN WILL HAS NEVER ONCE MADE A MOVE ON HIM #OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT......... #MAKE IT MAKE HETEROSEXUAL SENSE IT JUST DOESN'T IT DOESN'T IT DOESN'T IT DOESN'T 🤯🤯 #will NEVER implies anything romantic between them he NEVER does and yet MIKE the one with a girlfriend is the one that ALWAYS #ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKES THAT THE TOPIC OF THEIR CONVERSATION! he's the one that brings it up! he's the one that rejects will #when will isn't even making any kind of offer!!!!!!!!! #why would he do that if that isn't something that he feels! that he thinks about! that he's projecting onto will! #this is such a clusterfuck this is liek . this shit is more complicated than the fucking vecna plot at this point tbh #none of them know where the other is they're literally all in different fucking worlds my GODDDDDDDD #will is oblivious. and if he let himself realize what mike is doing and actually face it he would put mike on the spot about it. #mike's friendship is more than enough for will. it's enough to just have mike in his life. meanwhile mike is the one that refuses to see it. #he refuses to let himself even consider it which is why he puts that onto will and refuses to face the world around him. #he doesn't want things to change. we knew that in season three and we ESPECIALLY know that now. jesus christ.. #so much is happening in this show. #it's just insane to me tht mike has such a big heart and he cares abt the people he loves nd would protect them with his everything #and when el gets bullied like that.... he just... he's focused on will. because of-fucking-course he is. he's angry at will because #he doesn't want things to change but will's existence in his life will himself is enough to bring forth change in mike that he's scared #to accept. for whatever reason. because why is he constantly doing that? making things romantic? it's not will. it's HIM. #why can't you be his friend and continue to date eleven when you can do the same with everyone else? why is it JUST will? #why do you think that he's propositioning you whenever he talks to you about your friendship? #i'm telling you: it makes no heterosexual sense. #my thoughts #my posts

[throwdownyourheart]

I play this super fun game at work called “Don’t Fall In Love With Handsome Men Who Come Shop At Your Store” and I’m very very bad at it.

#today his name was Tom #he restores antique baseball gloves #he had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes and a nice smile and he was chubby and I wanted to [redacted] #just absolutely [redacted] #Jesus fucking Christ #anyway my heart’s a hoe #I’m so fucking gay #personal as hell #lubbock texas #me

[lupsbro]

welp i am crying

thanks taz balance episode 69

#WHAT A SURPRISE #my throat hurts so fucking bad did you know crying can make your throat hurt more i literally just made an appointment to the doctor #it took me a while huh #I don't think im gonna relisten to amnesty as well but man balance is just. it heals the heart. GOOD FOR THE SOUL #fucjing magnus and fuck8ng griffin for his superb storytelling #now i guess im gonna have to switch to christmas spirits again and read my stupid holiday romance book? #oh MAN #i remember back in 2018 fucking 5 YEARS AGO after i finished the finale there were a few weeks where id just burst into tears randomly #just thinking about taz and listening to the ost (and voidfish plural of course) #made for an awkward run in with a roommate lol #now i gotta explain to my parents why my eyes are red #and also why i can't TALK anymore jesus christ

[possibly-eli]

once again posting a reminder (very gently, when you consider how fucking frustrated i am) that i am anti-kff! there are otherkin terms that people can use and, instead of educating themselves on this, they actively CHOOSE to belittle and bully otherkin folks, all while being a teensy tiny little bit ableist in how they go about it. its not a "erm these people are just minding their business and they're ALSO kin anyway" NO they are NOT. they are, by very fucking definition, either 'hearted or 'link (IF their connection is genuine ANYWAYS). that is NOT. KIN. and its kinda fucking telling if you think a community whose entire existence hinges on deliberate ignorance and harassment of a group is equal to the group theyre harassing and bastardising the terms and experiences of

#am i making ANY FUCKING SENSE #i swear to GOD #"dni antikin (this includes anti-kff) no the FUCK it does NOT #because kff ISNT. KIN #JESUS FUCKING! CHRIST!!! #kff “kins” are LINKTYPES and HEARTTYPES most often (again. if theyre not just being hashtag quirky on the internet) #also please please fuck off if you use the word “k/nn/e” i dont even care if you arent kff just. please go away #im stressed as balls man i dont like having to think about shit that stresses me out and annoys me but here i am! thinking about it! #this isnt directed at anyone btw i just keep seeing “omg this character is one of my biggest kins (kff)” and im so fucking tired of it #its mainly on tiktok anyways so im kinda shouting at air but fuck off #and like even when i see other ACTUAL otherkin/nonhuman/alterhuman folks say “oh yeah i 'kin' this character for fun” #it makes me so aggressively uncomfortable cause just. use 'link' man #use 'click' or 'heart' #stop Doing That cause thats not a fucking kintype and you are contributing to the problem (though minorly compared to other stuff) #theres also this one server wherein people would act and talk about their hearttypes as if they were kintypes despite outright saying - #- THEMSELVES “oh yeah this is a hearttype” #do you know what a fucking hearttype is? #are you stupid?

[vitamin-zeeth]

Me finishing a case at like 1am after playing aa for 5½ hours straight just happy we won semi skipping through the epilogue and Edgeworth shows up and hits us with the

#i almost had a heart attack when he showed up #jesus Christ my man you cant just drop shit like that its 1 in the fucking morning #hold on i have to make an image

[fluttervee]

i just finished the poppy war...

what the fuck?

#jesus h christ #r f kuang slapped a novel like THIS BAD BOY CAN FIT SO MANY ATROCITIES #SO MANY WAR CRIMES #the poppy war spoilers #for the rest of these tags because. hoo boy #my heart bleeds for every fucking one of these characters but. altan. ye gods.. . altan. that poor boy #honestly? i hope the phoenix doesn't have him. i hope he's free and that's why chaghan couldn't feel him go #i just.... #it was so good! i kind of wish i never read it! #not sure i want to read the next one! #🙃

[the-trans-dragon]

Y'know it was REALLY goddamn evil and nefarious that the oil fields gave my mom (a single mom working 3 jobs to raise 2 kids) a single $5,000 check in exchange for her signing a nondisclosure to never complain about them.

Of course we fucking took the money. Even with her working 1 full-time job and 2 part-time jobs, she barely made over $1,000 a month. Of course she took the money. We though about moving but we still couldn't afford it. She was so frugal with it, though. It did give us a sliver of financial security for years.

But goddamn. $5,000 is table scraps to them, and they bought her silence with it because she couldn't refuse the chance to slightly lessen the weight of poverty on her family.

#sorenhoots #i remember i was like 11 or something. she didnt know if she should sign it. and its not like we had or knew any lawyers. she had ME read it #over and even i was like “this is a nondisclosure and it means you cant ever talk about anything they do even if they do something terrible” #i recall being very proud of myself for knowing what a NDA was. lord knows where my middle-school self learned that from. she did eventually #have a lawyer of some sort look over it and they said the same thing but.... $5000 #it wasnt an option for her. that was more money than wed ever had or saved. she had two kids who would need cars bc we lived so far in the #country. she knew i wanted to go to college. i dont think i ever saw her buy herself clothes before then either. it was money for emergencys #and necessities and birthday presents and road trips and... i often wondered about the person who offered us that. i wondered where they #lived and wondered how much their clothes costed and wondered if their kids got to have art or piano lessons. i wondered if their home was #over 80 degrees in the summer and under 60 in the winter and if they lived in a house that wasnt filled with dangerous spiders (we had nice #spiders too but we did also have Very Dangerous Spiders) and id picture him in his office in a button up and slacks and it would break my #heart that my mom couldnt have all of that. we just had a $5000 check and a vow to not complain. #she still feels earthquakes from it. less nowdays but still. and sometimee it still smells like a jar of hot petroleum jelly. and the attic #smell is worse than ever and the tap water smells like sulfur and wet mold #goddamn what the fuck? jesus christ. she should move.

[ashfdhfgdsfk]

keeping the same pfp for now but. yeah hi guys. its me. my urls probably gonna change a couple dozen fucking times in the next 24-48 hours for top secret legal reasons. sorry for the confusion sdhfgdh

#feeling violated 👍 #hey abby if youre reading this and you have any fucking compassion in your heart please get the fuck off my blog #thanks #jesus christ #txt #anyways sorry to any new people following me during this sudden drama my life is just chock full of excitement rn yippee

[choking-on-roses]

If you're a minimalist and you pride yourself on that, that's great! But if you know someone who is NOT a minimalist you are actually free to shut the fuck up about it. Just so you know.

#the amount of people who feel the need to comment on my stuff is bananas 🍌 #it's none of your business 'how difficult it'll be' when i go to move out #I've lived in this tiny one-room apartment for almost 4 years #like it's great if you have nothing but a futon and one set of cutlery. cool. #but i didn't wanna live like that for 4 years #and i shouldn't have to justify that to everyone who walks in here jesus christ SHUT UP!! #it is so so easy to just not say anything?? #why does every fucking minimalist think they're somehow superior. #also? not that i need to justify it but. i live in a staff dorm #the reason it looks like i have a lot of stuff is because there is no kitchen #i have one (1) room and it includes a bed. a desk. a coffee table. a refrigerator. a TV. and a pantry cupboard #if i had a reasonably sized apartment with a real kitchen my stuff would fit perfectly #but i love cooking. what was i supposed to do? not cook for 4 years while living here? #and i collect cookware. nowhere to store it so my heart shaped cocotte is a decoration on my coffee table #it's not like i live in a trash heap 🙄

[zeawesomebirdie]

Only took a week and a half, but guess who finally actually feels sick with covid 😔✌️

#i should know by now that my specific flavour of chronic illness = a delay in symptoms #i *should know this* by now #ive only lived with it since 2016 #i shouldnt be this shocked #force i feel disgusting #jesus *fucking* christ this is so *stupid* #wait a moment #vent post #realised i probably ought to tag that... #but ugh #at least now i know what the strange 'new' fatigue ive been feeling is 🙄 #and now i know why i cant seem to write #ughhhhhh #>:( #i swear im fine really i am #i just havent been *sick* sick since 2020 #completely forgot what it was like #i would take the worst of my usual symptoms over this *any* day of the week #blegh #my one consolation is that this means i can continue reading fic to my heart's content #and that i *dont* have to quote unquote go back to work #(work being. writing. and whatever else i usually do) #(nit that i had the cognitive function for any of that before this anyway.....) #ugh #okay thats all my complaining for the day thanks for listening #im sure ill be back to normal soon #in the meantime: im genuinely going to compile a superb@t rec list #not sure when exactly at this point in time #but soon #love yall

[foreverethereal123]

Hskskdkzjrkfjskjfkdjfkdjfkfkfkfjsmdk!

Okay I have been admiring this one privately for a while but it NEEDS to be out there because LOOK. AT. THIS. BEAUTY.

I was incredibly lucky to win @bayleedrawsx's giveaway and I requested something for my OH babies and I am OBSESSED with the way it came out😭😭😭😭😭

LOOK. AT. THIS.

I AM DKSKFKSKFKKSKFKRJFKXMGKDMFK!

Thank you so so so much, Baylee for this amazing piece and for letting me have this opportunity even when I was so indecisive dkjdkdkdk sorry about that lol CONGRATULATIONS on your milestone!!! You deserve that and so much more!! 💕💕💕💕

#Choices #choices fanart #open heart #open heart fanart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #Jesus fucking Christ #I am fighting for my life here with these tags #I don't know what to add anymore😭 #My respect for you guys who have to add tags with fanfics has 📈📈 #I'M TRYING😭 #legs spread open #<- lol this came up when I was tagging oph and honestly not wrong about my relationship with Ethan🤷🏻‍♀️ #Yeah i think I'm done here I'm just going to start talking shit now #ANYWAY #THANK YOU AGAIN BAYLEE!!!!!!!