#just saying this would be funny

[margareturtle]

I love that Kit gets to live with Jem, Tessa, and Mina, don’t get me wrong,,

But it really funny to imagine if he had just moved into the New York Institute with Jace and Clary

Bc Kit is a great mix of Jace’s charm and sarcasm along with Simon’s humor, pop culture references, and nerdiness.

They would be a hilarious trio

Simon would get Kit to make fun of Jace with him

Jace would cry go Clary

Jace getting a taste of what his angsty pining was like from witnessing Kit pining for Ty (was I really that bad?? Alec: yup!)

Kit would babysit Max and Rafe,,

Kit, Magnus, and Simon would talk music together (Kit and Magnus go to 1989 tour together)

Magic lessons with Magnus

Being already established at the NY Institute when “Clary’s Nephew arrives”

#look i love the herongraystairs family #just saying this would be funny #kit herondale #jace herondale #simon lovelace #simon lewis #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #the dark artifices #the mortal instruments #the wicked powers #clace #let kit herondale go to the 1989 world tour in 2015

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[liquidstar]

Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.

#this post is edited because you're all annoying. maybe I'll turn it back someday #it sucks that people can't even be normal about a funny family story once the fact that we're greek comes into the fold #suddenly its all about blorbofied mythology shit and idiots saying ''GREECE IS REAL???? 🤯🤯🤯🤯'' yeah percy j*ckson didnt make it up #maybe it would be less annoying if they weren't all saying it like I'd think it's funny that they don't know we exist instead of like #disturbing on a personal level. like what the fuck #man if you can't acknowledge we exist in real life just name your oc Icarus something else idgaf #so yeah explode. Skase. Voulos'to. Valto mesa sto katamalakismeno mouni tis mana's sou. Psophise. etc.

[theoldkyokodied]

Really quick doodles of a few scenes from the stream yesterday. Including combat flirting taunting, gale’s magnificently distracting shoes and.. whatever you wanna call gale agreeing to give 15 gold to astarion 😐😑😐😑😐 (that’s me blinking)

#bloodweave #astarion x gale #gale x astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #they are so funny god help. thank you to whoever sat Neil next to Tim #my roommate turning to look directly at me whenever they were interacting lik bestie please stop I am trying to be normal. don’t look at me #my roommate also said Neil acting low-key obsessed with gale and I could only say wow he’s just like me fr fr. #if I didn’t still struggle with getting shadowhearts likeness you would get a drawing of her hugging bing bong too but alas … #anyway the stream was so fun #can’t wait til tomorrow hehe

[violetwolfraven]

The funniest thing in the world to me is when people write mermaids that are bothered by humans eating fish. Like do you think fish don’t eat each other? The ocean is full of little freaks that will eat whatever or whoever the fuck will fit in their mouths. If the mermaids haven’t been eating fish this whole time what do you think they’ve been eating? If the answer is humans, that doesn’t make it any less funny. They’ll eat the species that looks like the top half of them but won’t eat a species that looks like the bottom half? Peak comedy.

#mermaids #mythical creatures #edit: #okay a lot of you have had good ideas about why mermaids possibly would be bothered by humans eating fish #so i will amend my original statement to say it’s funny and it doesn’t make any sense #unless you outright in-universe explain it #like don’t just fall back on the excuse of bUT tHeIR OUr unDERsEa BrOTherS #make it a part of their culture or physiology #if they haven’t been eating fish explain what they HAVE been eating and why #make it interesting

[egophiliac]

some more Twst pokemon as my brain melts at the impending episode 7 drop tomorrow! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

I went with Gholdengo and Cufant for Kalim, and Seviper and Malamar for Jamil! I went back and forth a looooot on whether to give Malamar to Jamil or Azul, but ultimately I think it just fits Jamil better. (Seviper was a given though)

#art #twisted wonderland #pokemon #poketwst #tentacles #if i had decided against giving jamil malamar then the backup plan was chatot #not because it actually fits him i just think jamil with a chatot would be funny #kalim would teach it to say nice things to him and then it would keep him up all night screeching HEY JAMIL YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND!!!! #LET'S BE TOGETHER FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER #jamil frantically googling how to rerecord chatter in the background

[hailsatanacab]

Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #batpham #hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes #look. this has been in my mind for so long guys so long - and idk if its canon that the batfam have codes for time travel situations or what #but i feel like ive seen it before and if its not canon it should be #so here - how i think that would be funny to go down #i have so many thoughts about TUE and its place in a dpxdc crossover like holy shit there's so many ways it can go!! #i have another wip in the works thats kinda similar to this but with superman and i cannot wait to work on it again #there are so many ways i wanted this to go but i just couldnt get there - i wanted to keep it on the shorter side but like #perhaps ill have to expand #i just love the idea that like. theres a stranger at your table who knows you and knows you well. who knows the secret that youd die to keep #there's a stranger at your table and he says something and you know he's family. you know you're strangers but now... #now you have to be something more #oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM #i want to write this whole plot again and make it angstier #(me with everything) #anyway! sorry love you all hope you enjoy it!!

[portalmonsterrr]

This was originally meant for haikaveh week prompt “jealousy/possessive behaviour” but their outfits took SO long to draw so now it’s just a regular comic...

#haitham would say all these things JUST to get back at kaveh #i dont think they would be very jealous of each other actually #but its funny to imagine #haikaveh #kavetham #haikavetham #genshin impact #gi #genshin #alhaitham #kaveh #alhaitham x kaveh #aether: do you see this shit paimon #aether #paimon

[halfghostwriter]

“… so basically just about everyone in my life has tried to kill me at least once, it’s kinda become my go-to way of making friends, just striking up a conversation with anyone who shoots me. It’s worked with just about all of the rogues in my hometown, including my clone-turned-sister who I had brunch with just last week. Even my parents used to shoot at me, but that was only for like a year or so and in their defense they didn’t actually know it was me, haha. It’s kinda funny, the only person who ever managed to actually kill me was a friend of mine who didn’t technically kill me the first time, and then only did it a second time to fix some rewritten timeline stuff, and I still dated her for a while after that. Oh, speaking of dating, my first girlfriend tried to kill me WHILE we were dating, but again, in her defense, she didn’t know it was me haha. But yeah, that’s kinda why I kept talking to that guy while he was pummeling me, just a bit of a pattern I’ve wound up developing. Anyway, what was the question again?”

“… How did you get in my safe house, and do you need medical attention.”

“Oh! I crashed through the window, and probably. Also, I’m gonna pass out.”

And then Danny passed out.

#dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #danny phantom #dc x dp #dp x dc fanfic #I don’t really have much context for this #I just thought it would be funny if Danny showed up in some random hero’s safehouse covered in injuries #and instead of elaborating on those injuries #just winds up talking about how it’s totally not that big a deal he’s totally had worse than this #you should see what his ex girlfriend did to him haha #and said hero just. not knowing what to say here

[ducktracy]

if you find yourself asking "how shall i spend the next one minute and 52 seconds?", i implore you to turn to the Wansa-kun opening for the most joyful way to fill the time. isn't this wonderful

#trying to make good on my word and watch all the shows i've been saying i would... those being Urusei Yatsura Lupin Part 3 Gutsy Frog and #Wansa though the latter isn't fully subbed #i love me some 70s/80s gag anime... it's really funny how often the western golden age influence pops up #especially in UY--the episode i watched just had a character turn into a wolf while being a lech! in something made after 1946!!!!!! amazin #thank you to my wonderful peers and friends pushing me down this route #vid

[acidsaladd]

this is so dumb akjshf

[id: It is a comic of a younger Splinter, kid Leo and toddler Mikey from rottmnt. Splinter is holding Mikey, resting him on his shoulder while he frowns and points at Leo saying “BLUE! If you don’t stop messing around-!” He stops and thinks, putting his hand on his chin while Mikey rests in the crook of his arm and says “I’ll uh…” He suddenly perks up with an idea while Mikey pats his face. “I’ll throw Orange to the garbage” he says as he holds Mikey, who has his hand in his mouth, up in front of him. We then see Leo staring with a small frown and then his lip starts wobbling and tears spring in his eyes as Splinter shouts “NO NO IM ONLY JOKING-“./ end id ]

#shout out to my mom for telling me this (abt my bro) when i was a lil kid #she told me once abt this cuz i obvi dont remember #and i bring it up sometimes cuz its just so funny to me??? why would she say that???? #anyways yea leo brings this up always and splints denies it but it cracks them up #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #cositos #rottmnt leo #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt mikey

[taxinealkaloids]

horrible children who are. so so mean to each other

#tlt #the locked tomb #my art #precanon griddlehark dynamic is SO funny. the way they are just no-holds-barred absolutely AWFUL to each other. #the fact that harrow made fun of gideon for saying 'i love you' over her dead mother's grave so gideon nearly choked her to death #and then when gideon recalls this story in gtn she's just like 'yeah lol we were wild kids' #also remember when gideon responded to harrow being kind of bossy with 'your parents must have been so relieved to die' like #imagine saying that knowing full well her parents killed themselves in front of her when she was ten!!!! insane!! #there's no sense of going 'too far' between them. they casually hit what would be considered by most ppl to be 'too far' and then keep going #anyway i don't usually go in for characters-being-kids-together stuff but i will admit that childhood gid+harrow #following each other around absolutely terrorizing each other because they're desperate for each other's attention but also full of #hatred and vitriol #does compel me #like...2 very lonely very traumatized children with only each other for company. what will they do? ENDLESSLY TORTURE EACH OTHER!!! #and yet they are each other's emotional support person. its so good.

[obsob]

something something i am made up of multitudes

#mine #original #ough kittie.s...little kitties #ive been busy n tired so no fancy drawing #we r heading.....to the city im getting my top surgery at today... #surgery is TOMORROW. okay #im like not nervous about the surgery im more nervous abt being reliant on my mother jfdbgfgfdj hmm #this morning she was like why are you in a funny mood and i was like i NERVOUS and she just said nothignn gbkjbgkjbgjkre #if my child was nervous about life changing surgery i would maybe say something to comfort them #anyway #anyone in their early 20's living w their mother deserves some kind of medal #shes like insane. shes asked me three time if the breast tissue will. grow back? no? it will not???? #she use to be a NURSE #whatever #keep me and my insane mother in ur thoughts i may lose the will to live in the next coming weeks

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #gallagher #i based this off of how many times i used funny soda man to help be a healer with his poppin soda pop in SU #and then blade constantly just being blade as usual #its normally him saying unnecessary to my actual healer but #i kept forgetting gallagher heals and i kept healing when i didnt even need to so TECHNICALLY yeah it was unnecessary #but the amount of times blade was the recipient...... #i cant use like most of my newer units in story bc i cant ascend or i run out of leveling mats so i just #get them and toss them into simulated universe for funsies cause i can match their levels better #so thats where i tossed gallagher and he is genuinely fun to play as ? like i love his punches and kicks to start the battle #funny soda man is funny (to me) and im really behind in plot still #but last time i tried to play it on my laptop and got a kickass cutscene my laptop lagged and i couldnt even see it RIP to me #so now that its like ... me trying to play it on desktop ? #i mostly get on desktop for comms and if i do much else i feel like im slacking off even if i would take a break anyway #one day i can play more story plot stuff and actually meet the funny guys #also in case you know me for Not Having Boys in HSR i need to point out #i did pull Gallagher however same 10 pull got a 4 star girl copy for someone i never use and she is at e4 now cool #and i didnt even think of the irony as i started this i just like drawing blade and i wanted to draw gallagher #so when i already had the dialogue planned and am drawing i was like OH WAIT haha im funnier than i thought #(no i am not but we can pretend)

[thejacketscloset]

Love Johnny being lovely and respectful and only ever listening to the authority that is his mom

But also please please PLEASE consider his mom being as crude and loudmouthed as he is. Imagine they spend their days talking shit and swearing to the high heavens at each other bc it's their love language. IMAGINE the pure shock that ANYONE ELSE in the 141 would feel if they heard Soap call his own dad a "grumpy old cocksucker" to his mother's face. Now imagine the second wave or shock that they would have hearing his mom not only not care that much about what was said, but respond with "aye, but you got it from you daft bastard".

If questioned about it, Soap (or his mom) would say that it's typical for them. "We're the only people who can talk to us like that because we're family. We already know we love each other, being nasty is just how we are"

#idk i just thought it would be funny #loosely based on smth my mom says to me #with the last line #love her #ghostsoap #soapghost #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #cod #mw2 #task force 141