#just something random on this fine day

[huntseric]

Guardian

#just something random on this fine day #fantasy art #landscape #concept art #environment study #dragon #dragon design #digital art #digital illustration #drawing #2d art #art #artist of tumblr

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

[outlying-hyppocrate]

i started this year off wanting to change myself in a way that would hurt me but now i realize that was a shitty thing to do. but i want to do it. again.

#random thoughts #self-destructive tendencies for the win!! on and off since 2022!! #i've been trying to convince myself i am diseased when really i am not. there is nothing wrong with me. #because it is not severe. i have not been close to death. it's fine. in fact i often do the opposite of what i want #and fail myself every single day. but i want to make myself ill on purpose because without illness what am i. #saying there is nothing wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you does not mean there is nothing wrong with you. #there is something very wrong with me. but i always want to fix it. but i don't. so i fix it. but it's not fixing. #it's making me better and worse. #might as well project some of this onto my favorite oc clemens because. he's just like me now. languages boy. with a strange childhood #my parents weren't surgeons. my parents got divorced like kristian's. but we haven't moved to a new country because of it yet. #i say yet because it will happen. but this is unrelated to my previous complications. #I WANT TO GET BETTER. #but i really. really don't. because if i do then nobody will believe me. #i wish i could just tell someone. but then they will think i am lying to them. #for now i shall sit in my bed and stare at the ceiling #and stare at the forever closed window and close my eyes as well #and when i open them it will be 12 days later and i will be purified #i love you marina abramović

[tblsomedoodles]

my wifi is out until probably sometime tomorrow and my 5g is barely hanging on enough to access Tumblr at all. AND! Even if I was able to scrape enough 5g signals together to answer asks from my phone (like I want to), the answer button is mysteriously missing for me.

so, with any luck, I will answer asks tomorrow as well as post my Friday doodles. (I might have more doodles by then. I am very bored and drawing Clara is very fun.)

#random stuff #You can ignore this #Me: I can survive without wifi for a few days! It's fine! #Me 10 hours later: this is hell. I am in hell. #I want to share my Clara doodles!! #And chat about the cool stuff I came up with for her! #But I can't!! : ( #Like there's so much I have yet to say about her #And how I've figured out a way to add a version of her to cannon #But it's so heartbreakingly tragic idk if I'm gonna actually do it #Or if I'm gonna give apocalypse Don a break for once #And I want to talk about all of it #But am limited by no wifi and exceptionally shitty 5g #Anyways #I'll probably go clean up those doodles #Or something #If it was a planned wifi outing or something I would have been fine #But it just cut out without warning #The entire neighborhood that has this carrier is down #And it won't be fixed until tomorrow afternoon #So now I'm a frustrated understimulated mess #Who's schedule was thrown off #It's great (heavily sarcastic)

[keeps-ache]

HEY

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #oc #pink space #i really like the subtract glitch i've been doing recently - so here's some of that again lol :3 #the way it interacts with their palettes is so fun i like it a lot ehegh :33 #//anyway do you ever consider just tossing out any part the human body you've learned to draw and just drawing dumb little guys with arms #like pipecleaners forever or what hfhs #//oh this is was doobled in traditional originally #i need to digitize more of these. Because #though aura's hair was more extreme in the second panel in that version - i'm tired though and 3 days ago it was the same so no feelings to #change that lol :) #also i didn't shrink the noise enough so it didn't look right - and i was not going to reimport it so Bon Voyage my dude hfhs #was Supposed to fit on a 900x900 canvas but i made the panels a liiiiitle bit too big so it's 950x950 #which is Fine it's a round number but it's not a Round-Round number so [gesturing] #1000x1000 was way too big for this little thing so she sits at a pleasant halfway point :> #//anyway i was also up til 3 a.m. last night doing ?? something ?? i genuinely don't even know what lmfhsbvh #nice though maybe my brain'll get a reset lol :3 #stay up really late some random nights and jumpstart your brain!! it's foolproof!! never fails!! [<- these statements have not been reviewe #by the FDA or the Center for Sleep Control] #//ANywho now i'm going to be on my way #/oh i also forgot to post the oath n aura refs i made for artfight lol- #i'll prolly put those up w/ the kira and hid ones though :>> #i like to have the whole ensemble :D i Do feel bad when one of them gets left out hghsfh - like forgetting a stuffed animal somewhere #even though they're all together for small portion of the story it still feels off lol #i should prolly introduce the rest of the cast at some point. .... ......... ..........hm yea prolly. maybe one day hfhs #//anyway NOW i'm going i've run out of tag space i think hfhs - toodles !! :>

[mqonlighting]

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be #a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute #ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to #‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m #not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik #ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig #and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs #but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord. #i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were #i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve #tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit #on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i #would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther #but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall #y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the #prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would #turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on #us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just #and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel #like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO #SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like #think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein #nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I #HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and #during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say #smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and #think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail #in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS. #I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE #BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK

[famewolf]

going to be spending the day with my mom for the first time in a long while. she wants to get me new shoes and is bringing over a whole box of stuff from Costco that she got me and my husband.

even though I'm on the cusp of 30, she still likes to be a mom, and I'm forever grateful for it. might not have any of the rest of my family after I was disowned but I've got my mom and my little brother and that's all I could ever ask for

#[static] #i didnt tell her about how stressful last week was but she called at random this weekend to talk about my brother with me #and then she mentioned she was going to costco and wanted to pick me up some stuff which ... she's learned at this point to not ask #because i Will say 'no' or 'dont worry about it' or 'im fine!' and as she was telling me for the tenth time ... it's something that brings #- her joy. to provide things for her kids when she's able to so that they can breathe a little easier knowing there's food in the pantry #and she's been begging me to let her buy me shoes for like ... 2 years but i keep saying no fkjghd i definitely need them but - #- help makes me want to crawl into my skin and die #but my combat boots are toast and theyve definitely Not been helping my knee situation #like our relationship was super complicated during the first couple of decades of my life but we've been working it out now as adults #anyways i think it'll be a fun day! she wants to stop by a local farm to look around and we always have fun just hanging out

[jinxy]

I try to be understanding of others perspectives because I want them to be understanding of mine, but I’m really really not liking how many people I’ve seen who usually go “yeah cringe is dead!” then go on to make fun of people who like the Hazbin character designs. or who love making lots of flags for labels or alternative labels for existing ones. Or who listen to popular music artists.

Basically labeling them as “cringe” (just without saying that exact word b/c it’s taboo right now)

Especially if those fans are literal children or idk. Some random autistic person who goes “I have no idea why my brain attached to this but here’s my extensive AU / flag and label hoard / edit and gifmaking blog / collection of facts about their discography”. Just… leave that person alone?

I have no idea why you feel the need to mock them so badly when it’ll most likely just negatively affect that One Guy and not. The guy who made the thing you hate. I don’t understand it at all

#dis.txt #i love real critique and i have PLENTY about that show/it’s creator or the tendencies of the coining community- #and how certain artists encourage their fans to be vitriolic or disrespectful so they can make money (or their private jet usage) #but fuck some of you are so mean spirited when it’s something YOU view as ‘fair game’ b/c you don’t personally like it #and maybe it’s because it’s only been 10 days since i almost [REDACTED] but c’mon #why would i waste my time hassling random people or shaming them for literally nothing but temporary self gratification #i would actually respect it more if it was just ‘i’m a hater’. that’s fine #be a hater but don’t be a bully basically. does this make sense

[vaguelydefinedshapes]

Goddd there's something so humbling about being broken up with when you didn't really like the person either,, like oh, I'm too much to handle for the guy who made me uncomfortable. Okay. When can I get my hoodie back

#the precipitating event was that i picked him up from work at 10pm so that he wouldn't have to bus home in the snow #and since i didn't really wanna be there and was only doing it bc it felt like the nice thing to do i wasn't in a great mood #(meaning i was kinda asocial not that i yelled at him or anything) #so he asked me like 5 times what was going on with me and then this morning he sent me a snapchat saying he's not in a place to maintain #ANY contact with someone who has “random outbursts” #and then didn't reply when i asked if there was something Specific i did since afaik i was just... generally not super thrilled to see him #and i mean i was trying to figure out how to break up with him anyways since he had a tendency to catcall people #(i think since he's trans he thought it was fine?? but it felt weird to me) #and also he slapped me on the ass when i picked something up and was oddly hung up on understanding why i don't like making out #so like. this wasn't going anywhere. #but also he has my FUCKING baja hoodie and i WANT IT BACK #and if he doesn't respond by the end of the day im literally gonna stop by his house tomorrow and ask for it in-person #also he lost my charger so now i have to get a new one

[cinnamontoads]

been having like almost constant dull chest pain for the last week no idea what it is anyone got any ideas on how to lessen it lol. also a little hard to breathe but not like Suffocatingly so

#before u ask i’ve been taking a covid test like every day for the last couple days and they keep coming up negative so i’m unsure #if it’s covid related or if something is just wrong with meeeee :3 #personal #also i had random awful fever symptoms yesterday for like 5 hrs but one thermometer said i was fine and one said 100 F and i don’t have #fever symptoms anymore anyway but like ?????? wtf was that

[gendervapor14]

finally changed my banner to something a little more appropriate!!

#yes it's crusty fanart #but it's MY crusty fanart #maybe one day i'll redraw them #but i can't promise it'll be any better #i love how when you open my link in the full desktop mode #it cuts off doflamingo's head #hehe #the forest was nice but just a little. random i guess #now someone can open my page and know exactly what they're in for #guess i should squeeze bell-mere in there too by that logic but #this is fine for now #one piece fanart #this is from my fic btw #chapter. 40 something idk i can't remember tbh #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote rosinante #corazon one piece #donquixote brothers #gensart #01746

[chemicalbrew]

I can't sleep and I had a miserable time today going through my backlog whee

#the first game sucked ass another the second feels like it tipped its hand early so i don't want to come back #the third is alright and cozy and i won't mind writing about it if it keeps being good but it's funny because. #part of the premise is literally the same as aitsf and i just finished it <3 tropes #oh i also tried shovel knight yesterday and i was in misery bc all this game knows is instant death pits and spikes with poor checkpoints #so many games i think i got bc random people said they were okay and the more shit like that i try the more I realize how hard it is #to break out of my niche!!! #i need to start playing something closer to my niche so i can actually have fun instead of wanting to rip everything to shreds #or maybe I need to do something else for a bit like getting into wtnv again #anyway im fine in the grand scheme of things probably I'm just bored #and once again pissed at how hard it is to find good platformers #zero.txt #i think i will also have slept weird for two days in a row which isn't helping. oh well

[hazmatazz]

the Worst point in a relationship is when you get worried you're annoying or shit. and it always happens no matter what! and it's the WORST

#and what makes it BULLSHIT is that if my partner was what i defined “annoying” for myself i'd be sooo happy #oh my god you tell me all about your day and send paragraphs of random shit?? h. here's a rose .. for you.. #when i like a person i wanna hear anything they wanna say... #babble #complaining #<- this is . Not a vague about my boyfriend or. something. you're fine lovely this is just my own anxiety ❤️ it's normal

[moon-o-magic]

How will any of them survive a post-BPS scamless world

(comic is Retire Ed)

#Sfw #He Spittle #eene #I like the stark contrast between this and the chickenpox episode like theyre only fine not scamming if they absolutely cannot #Peace is boring we must sow chaos immediately for our own enjoyment #Ed wants to have fun with his friends & Double-Dee was expecting today to be a Scam Day & is miffed he cant build anything #I know its not that deep but I like the implication that Eddy’s gotten a lot more comfortable just relaxing #I know as someone w/ADHD not doing something all the time used to be unnerving but now its nice to just sit back smtimes #This comic just became funnier to me bc I just remembered that Ed n Double-Dee do random shit with each other all the time #But its like. Eddy’s not joining even tho we want to so something with him :( we have to bother him all day now

[fictionadventurer]

Just realized that part of the reason I'm so averse to Doctor-Companion ships is that I think of the Doctor as Space Dad. He can't get romantically involved with his Space Kids!

But that's why I'm okay with shipping him with River--she's a Space Mom! On the same level as Space Dad and helping him to care for the kids. It makes sense!

#random thought of the day #doctor who #brought to you by stumbling across a whouffaldi gifset #and remembering just how unsettling i find that ship #if other people can ship it that's fine #but i can't get behind it because i always see it through the lens of him being her space dad #even when the creators try to frame it as a crush or something i always see it as space dad caring for his space kid

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Fragments of a Fallen Star

NA sapphic fantasy romance

a grieving young woman who runs away from her island home to search for a spell to help her turn back time

when she crosses paths with a mysterious ship captain with a quest of her own, they realise they might be able to help each other

Black cast, demisexual love interest

#Fragments of a Fallen Star #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #this is fine! a bit too much of a romance focus for me - but I knew that going in #the last like 15% is cool I feel like it could have been 50% of the book……. #most of what happened before that was random and weird pacing. could have been cut down more #there’s very clearly a lot of thought put into the world and worldbuilding - I feel like we just didn’t see quite enough of it as a whole? #also the LI is def demisexual not demiromantic djfghfjd they start dating after knowing each other like 2 days. #their whole relationship goes very fast sdgjhsf #(it's definitely something only mentioned briefly; if you're going into it for that) #but the world also has its own words for sexualities which is interesting #demisexual books