#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m

[mqonlighting]

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be #a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute #ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to #‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m #not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik #ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig #and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs #but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord. #i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were #i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve #tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit #on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i #would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther #but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall #y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the #prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would #turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on #us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just #and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel #like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO #SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like #think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein #nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I #HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and #during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say #smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and #think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail #in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS. #I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE #BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK

[nkirukaj]

The Radio Demon & the Billboard Doe (6)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! OC

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Angst/Fluff (& Humor!)

Word Count: 2.7K

6. Ducky

“Okay, so is it true that your birthday is October 31st?” she asks

“Haha, no.”

“Really? When is it then?”

He puts his finger to his chin “Nobody was really keeping time when I was created, so I’m not really sure.” He grins at her “I was never ‘born’ either, so it’s a bit of a moot point. When’s your birthday?”

“November 1st,” she answers “I was born in 1997.”

“Wait, what year is it on Earth?”

“Well, it was 2024 when I died so…”

“Golly! That’s it? It feels like it’s been an eternity!”

“Well, that is an eternity to us!” Voe laughs

She had been spending a bit of time with Lucifer since he had consoled her the week before. She was in his tower now, just getting to know him a bit better, trading information about each other.

“Is your hat your crown?”

He glances back at his top hat on the desk “Yeah, kind of. It has a crown in it.”

She gets giddy “Can I wear it?”

“Sure!’ He hands it to her and she squeals all excited

She takes the hat and places it on her head, taking selfies with it on.

“You wanna take a picture?”

“You want to take a picture? With me?” he seems shocked and caught a bit off guard

“Fuck yeah! Come here!” she reaches for him and he comes into the frame of her camera “Okay let’s do silly faces.” They make funny eyes and stick their tongues out, laughing at themselves the whole time

“Can we do cutesy pictures?” He asks

“Of course King!” She presses her face against his face and they both do cute little smiles, he blows a raspberry against her cheek while she laughs when a knock is heard at the door

“Come in!” Lucifer calls

It’s Charlie. She comes in sounding bright as ever “Hey Dad I just wanted to see if you-“ She stops in her tracks, retreating into herself “Hey Voe.”

“Hey,” she waves at the Princess

Lucifer sits up straight “What did you need sweetie?”

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out or talk, but I see that you’re busy so I’ll-“

“No no, me and Ducky were just finishing up.”

“Ducky?” Charlie questions while Lucifer blushes

Voe stands “That’s me. I suppose I can head out. Bye Luci,” she bats her lashes at him going to walk out “Oh!’ She takes the hat off of her head and hands it to Charlie “Put that back please?” exiting the room.

She takes the elevator down to the parlor, where Angel, Niffty, Husk, and Alastor are occupying the space. Occupying the same space, but all doing separate things. She heads over to Angel, who’s lying on the couch texting on his phone.

“Hiya,”

“‘Sup?”

“Just editing these pictures.”

“Don’t make ‘em too bright,”

She snorts “That’s a rookie’s mistake. I’m a pro.”

“Okay pro,” he smiles, his gold tooth shining in the parlor light “What’s the picture of?” She tilts her phone over to show him the photo “Is that Lucifer? When was you taking pics with the big dick in charge?”

Voe smirks “Just a few minutes ago, then Charlie came up and-“

“Interrupted you ‘bout to get dick from the big dick?”

Voe turns pinkish and pushes the spider “Uhh no!”

“Mhmm, I know how you get down dollface.”

Niffty crawls into her lap “Can I see Mommy?”

Angel raises his brow, Voe whispers “I don’t know, she just started calling me that.” She puts the phone in front of Niffty

“Ooo, look at his claws! *Rawr*” Niffty bares her little claws

“Real close to your neck toots” 

“Okay, it’s not even all that.” Voe rolls her eyes

Angel seems very unconvinced, pursing his lips and squinting his eyes.

She turns to the kitchen where Alastor is focused on yet another meal “What you cookin’ today Bucky?”

“Something casual,” Alastor responds “Just spaghetti.”

“Better not be breaking the noodles,” Angel says vaguely threatening

“What’s wrong with breaking the noodles?” she asked him, now rubbing Niffty’s hair.

Angel looks at her disgusted “Everything,”

“Such as?”

“I don’t even wanna talk about it,”

She shrugs “I just assumed you would break the noodles. Like, does everyone not break them?”

“I can’t believe this. W-what am I hearing?”

“You break the noodles Bucky?”

“Of course my dear.”

Angel covers his ears “I’m living in a hotel of heathens!”

Voe looks around “Everyone I’ve ever known or seen cook spaghetti has broken the noodles. I mean, how else would you fit them in the pot?”

“You’re supposed to boil the bottom and then push the rest in!”

“How do you know when to do that?”

“You keep watching it!” Angel curls up into a ball “This conversation is painful!”

Voe shrugs “Maybe it’s just a Black person thing.” She turns around toward Alastor “Are you Black?” Voe asked the Radio Demon, getting microphone feedback in response. The others stare at her “What?”

“Hey! How would you feel if someone asked you if you were Black?” Angel chimed in 

“I’d feel fine, and I’d answer. Because I am Black.”

“Really? I thought you were Italian like me.”

“Okay, first me being Italian would not preclude me from being Black, and second, why does everyone think I’m Italian?” she pinches her fingers together

“First of all, your hand gestures, second of all your accent.” “I’m just from New York!”

“Hey me too!”

“That doesn’t matter!” She turns back to Alastor “Are you Black?”

Alastor’s brain doesn’t know how to process that question, so he is frozen in place while Voe sits and waits for an answer.

“Hey.” She goes up to him to make sure he hears her. “Are you?”

He turns to face her, his smile static and unnerving “Why?” his eyelid is twitching

“Well, you’re a Louisiana boy, and you said that your mom made that jambalaya recipe, and you speak French. And also you break the noodles”

“So?” Angel asked from the couch

Voe turns to acknowledge him “So…that sounds like a recipe for a Creole.” She turns back to Alastor “Are you?”

“N-no,” he lies

Voe watches him for a few moments after he answers. She does not believe him but does not press him, as she can finally sense his unease with the question, and decides to get more information later.

_____________________________________________________

“So what exactly does it mean to be an Overlord?”

Voe stood in the parlor in front of her mounted smartphone and waited for the audience to give her responses.

be a bad bitch

be Bomb

be powerfll

“Well, that can’t be it. ‘Cuz if that was it, I’d already be one!” She tosses her hair back over her shoulder.

the Vs are overlords

yeah!!

true true

“Oh, they are, are they?” Voe strokes her chin with her index finger “But like, what does that mean?”

being an overlord is about owning souls mamas

“Owning souls? Is that why Velvette asked me to sign away ownership of mine?”

you work for velvette???? no wayyyy

i wish she owned my soul :(

tbh i’d give you my soul if you asked

“Wait,” she acknowledges the last comment “You’d give me your soul? Just like that? You wouldn’t want anything for it?”

hell yea!

fuck yes

i’d get to see that ass evryday that’s enuf for me

Voe ponders a bit more “Wait, so how many of you would want me to own you if I was an Overlord?”

Lots of commenters sent in hand emojis, indicating that they would want to be owned by her. She smirked at the thought of gaining that kind of power.

back in the day you had to kill other overlords

that’s what the radio demon did

he was killin’ all them bitches!

“So, Alastor is an Overlord?” She leans into the camera to read the comments

yeah!

he’s like the most powerful one

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

that’s debatable

i think the vees are btter tbh

“Okay, you guy’s spelling mistakes are driving me mad!” she huffs in frustration

BITCH GOT HIS ASS KICKED :P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

REMEMBER THAT SHIT???

YOOOOOOOO

“What are you talking about?” She asked the live

yooo she got here after the whole shit with extermination day!!

“Extermination day?? What the fuck?! Explain, now”

 BASICALLY EXTERMINATION DAY IS WHEN HEAVEN COMES DOWN AND KILLS US LIKE EVERY YEAR, SO WE DON’T LIKE OVERPOPULAT E OR WHATEVER

AND LAST EXTERMINATION DYA RADIO DEMON FOUGHT THE LEADER OF THE ANGELS

adam

YEA ADAM

and adam kicked his ass

HE RAN AWAY LIKE A PUSSY

“Um, ew gendered language. And oh, this is not something I knew. I love all the tea being spilled tonight.” She pretends to drink from a teacup

NAH HE WEAK FR

tbh you could prolly kick his pussy ass

“Well, I don’t wanna fight him. I don’t really fight men.” she leans back from the camera “I destroy them from the inside.” she clenches her fist with evil intent in her eyes. “Wait, if he’s an Overlord though, does that mean he owns souls?”

FUCK YEAH

he owns mad souls

HIS BITCH ASS OWNS ME

Voe sits and ponders this new information. If Alastor is an Overlord and had this much power at his disposal, why was she given so much leeway? 

“Does he get like really rampage-y when he’s mad?”

hell yeah

can’t believe you’ve been there all this time and haven’t heard all this stuff

THIS BITCH BEEN UNDER A ROCK

he use to rip peoples souls apart and put them on his radio broadcast

“Ohhh, that’s why he’s called the Radio Demon.  Okay, that makes way more sense, because I deadass thought it was because y’all knew man’s was obsessed with radio and old 1920s-looking shit and I’m like how did y’all figure that out? Like, did he tell y’all that? Like why would he tell y’all that?”

wait wym girl??

nah do tell

1920s shit like what??

“Oh, like obviously he’s obsessed with radios, but like he won’t let Charlie update the TV, even though he’s not the one that has to watch it. I’m like ‘Girl stand up for yourself!’, but she don’t. He also gets mad when he sees other people using their phones. Like, how you mad that other people are enjoying tech after 1930? Like, we not making you use it. And he still looks at me sideways when I talk about being an influencer. He told me ‘that’s not a real thing’, like obvi, it is!” She starts laughing as she remembers something “BRUH, guys like a few weeks ago, he saw my speaker, which looks like this,” she lifts her speaker into the camera “ and was like ‘that’s not a speaker, it is a box with small holes in it.’ and I’m like ‘no???’ and I stood there and explained to this GROWN ASS MAN how Bluetooth works, and when I was done, he looked at me like this.” She tilts her head to the side and opens her eyes wide to an exaggerated degree, to look stupid “like his brain didn’t work or something” She starts cackling and clapping at how amused she is with herself.

girl

GIRL

oooo you in trouble lmao

BITCH WATCH OUT!

NAH WE BOUT TO SEE THE TUMBLE OF THE CENTURY XD

“Hmm?” her laughter dies down, she raises a brow “What?”

Alastor clears his throat behind her, and she turns to meet his gaze. “If you have something to say, my dear, say it to me. Not to your little ‘fans’ on your little picture box.”

“Well, the thing I’m recounting was a conversation we had, so it’s not like you were unaware of it. Or did you forget?” She crosses her arms “Fossil,”

Alastor widens his eyes, surprised at her boldness, given the things he knew about her. This was the direction she wanted to take their relationship in? After the things he’d seen? 

“My dear, did we forget your bout of tears because I did not want you touching me?”

A blush rises up her neck “I told you I wasn’t crying. And that’s not even why I was upset.”

“Really? And why were you so upset? Apparently, you cried to Lucifer? Or so I’ve heard.”

“I was upset because you’re an ass, and I didn’t cry to Lucifer. He just happened to be there. Why does it matter to you anyway? Why are you keeping tabs on me? Why do you need to know what I’m up to and who I’m with hmm?”

“Why do you need to talk about me?”

“I don’t. My viewers just brought you up, and I told them something that I thought was funny. You can relax Bucky, you are not the center of the universe.”

Alastor looks at her full of condescension, and dissipates into shadows. Voe turns back to her still going live. “Yeah, trot along deer boy.”

girl i was already planning your funeral

I THOUGHT WE WAS GONNA LOSE U :’(

see? pussy

“Okay, I’m still not liking the gendered language,” she speaks to the screen

____________________________________________________

“Who is it?”

“It’s me!” Voe opens the door, leaning in “Ducky,” she bites her lip, teasing him before entering

Lucifer slaps his forehead “I cannot believe I said that in front of Charlie.”

“Me either, but I’m owning it. I’m a cute little duckling.” She laughs sitting down next to him “What’s up on the agenda Your Majesty?’

“I told you, you can just call me Lucifer,” his eyes are kind and soft

“I know, but I like the power dynamics involved.” she makes her eyes seductive

Lucifer’s neck turns red and he loosens his tie slightly “I’m just sorting all my rubber ducks.” he tells her

“Hmm,” She reaches over him for his top hat, and the blush rises further up his throat. She places the hat on her head “I love this thing,” 

He stares at her and sighs, smiling. He blinks regaining his thoughts “Did you want to see them?”

“The ducks? Sure!”

He gestures to his creations, she starts touching them. He clears his throat “I saw your live by the way. Good job, standing up for yourself,”

Voe widens her eyes “The King of Hell watched my live?”

He laughs “Yeah! I’ve been watching them since I met you!”

“Wow, I am honored!” She smiles really big and it’s sweet

“Oh c’mon, it’s not anything more special than us sitting here and talking.”

“I’m honored for that too.”

He waves her off “It’s nothing.”

“No,” she touches his hand “I really am honored. I’m being serious. You’re the King of Hell, who knows what important stuff you have to be doing. Including making these ducks! But you took the time to console me when I was upset. I mean, I’m pretty important, but compared to a King? It really means a lot to me. Thank you.”

Lucifer’s eyes are watery while listening to her, but he scrambles to hide it when she looks back up at him

“Is this a Charlie duck?” She holds up one that looks like his daughter

He blushes “Um, yeah. I made it for her, but haven’t found the right time to give it to her.”

She looks through them further “And Vaggie!”

Lucifer mumbles under his breath “Oh, Vaggie”

“Here’s Niffty, and Husker, How did you make one of Angel? And-“ she looks back at Lucifer with wide eyes and a laugh dancing on her lips “Is this Alastor?”

Lucifer’s blush takes over his whole face “I make them when I’m feeling intense emotion.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen a rubber duck look murderous before. Oh-“ she picks up a little stick “Is this its tiny cane?” She laughs in delight “These are amazing. You have to make me one, please. I will pay you.”

“Oh no no no, definitely not. If I make you one, it’s on the house.”

She moves closer “Not if Lucifer, when. You are going to make me a rubber duck that looks like me.” She walks her fingers up his chest and pulls on his bowtie “Understand?”

He swallows “Yes ma’am.”

“That’s right, be a good boy for Ducky.” she winks

A/N: Hey! Here to remind you to PLEASE comment when you're done reading! Comment and reblog to let me (the author) know how much you liked it! Thanks, and have a great day!

#headcanon #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin angel dust #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin oc #hazbin hotel fandom #alastor the radio demon #the radio demon #hazbin hotel oc #original character #black oc #alastor x oc #hazbin hotel fanfiction #radio demon #alastor #black queer #original female character #oc fanfiction #eventual smut #black protagonist #black writers #hazbin the vees #hazbin lucifer #hazbin velvette #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel lucifer

[beautifulpersonpeach]

OMG BPP! I just heard (and counted) that there are 13 'set me free's when the song concludes!! I'm,,, what?! I mean, it must not be a coincidence, right? I'm so delulu right now, can't think straight. Oh,,,, Jimin,,,,,,,😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 P.S. Thanks for sharing your reaction with us. It's always a delight to hear your thoughts (and know that someone is definitely freaking out with me, barely alive)

*

Ask 2:

From magnum ice cream to universal music Brazil... everyone be tweeting about his solo.

*

Ask 3: I think the dichotomy between the autotune and his regular voice and the "fuck all your opps" being in quotes (its one of the two lines quoted in the lyrics) is meant to convey Jimin having a conversation with himself that's how I understood it and tbh that's highkey the only way to interpret it in a way that makes sense cus we not bout to switch up the meaning of an actual word just cus the internet people don't understand something

***

Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 2, when I copy-pasted your ask the link pasted like that, I'm not sure if that works but I've linked it here too.

I went to count the "set me free" myself (because I usually check for myself whatever y'all tell me here) and by golly, you're right. There are nine 'set me free's in the chorus, four in the outro, and 13 in the final chorus + outro.

...

Hate to be the party-pooper here, but I feel it's coincidence Anon. Then again, Jimin is the same person who sings "All this is not coincidence." So who knows?

Anon in ask 3, thanks for sending in your thoughts too. I agree with you and have said more or less the same thing in previous posts. Frankly I think it's obvious how autotune is used as a narrative device and stylistic choice in the song. The only people missing it are those with an interest in 'missing' it. Or people who cannot tolerate autotune in any way, shape, or form. Sucks for them though because Jimin just dropped the song of the year.

Take breaks, stay moisturized and hydrated, treat yourself to something sweet, and stream Set Me Free Pt 2.

*

Aside, I feel the need to say this: I'm getting that rush again. That orgasmic, euphoric high when the tannies drop music designed to be perfectly wired to my wavelength. In terms of solo work, D2, JITB, Indigo, and On The Street all stimulated that rush in my head. I expected that from the rapline but to be honest, while I've liked a lot of Jimin's material (Black Swan, Dis-ease, Friends, Promise, Vibe, and you won't find a stronger defender of Christmas Love than my sobok sobok-loving ass), I've not experienced that rush with his music and I didn't expect to feel that rush with his material.

The minute I heard the autotune in Jimin's voice at the start of the song though, how it was used, the fact that right from the jump they make it impossible to miss or ignore, it's like something in my brain shifted. Jimin has blown out every doubt I ever had about him. He's exactly what I suspected is.

A freak.

And I feel a bit ashamed I had dimmer expectations to begin with. Don't get me wrong, I expected Jimin to bring the roof down and dominate, but I expected him to do that differently. Instead, Jimin has not just brought the roof down, he's obliterated the very ground the house was built on. He has quite literally ended k-pop in 2023. It is ended. We're all existing in the post-mortem universe of k-pop. Our dates now read B.J. and A.J. - Before Jimin and After Jimin. He has served all there is to serve by any man, woman, creature to ever exist in k-pop.

But thing is, I feel this way about Hobi most recently with his Vlive & OTS, Joon most recently in his El Pais interview & ig pics, and Yoongi most recently three minutes ago when my friend sent me this picture:

*

So I've been reflecting on BTS, on the fact that it is BTS who is at the very top of this unforgiving and cruel system, a status paid for by their blood, sweat, and tears, and that to have gotten to the top all seven of them were forged through fire in the process. It's comical when people comment about how BTS lacks in this or that area, because most times, it's simply not true. All seven members are extremely remarkable people. To be in a group like BTS requires nothing less. Jimin could only shine in a group like BTS, where there are members with similar intensity but distinct and dissimilar colours. And their solo projects fully highlight the value and magic they each bring to BTS.

It hit me today that I might not survive Jungkook's solo debut.

That's what I'm really saying here.

Taehyung too is going to do something very interesting, after all he is a BTS member, so I'm expecting him to shock and awe. But today I realized that Jungkook could also debut this year, and I really had to sit down and think about if I could handle it. We know Joon and Hobi are back in the studio so we might get even more music before they enlist. And then there's Yoongi's tour right after Jimin's promotions, and what if they tour together...

Just... there's so much going on. And I'm loving it.

Chapter 2 is incredible!

#I lowkey love how almost all my anons are still losing their shit about SMF Pt 2 #I feel y'all because honestly... #same #jimin #park jimin #bts #bangtan

[soudakuwunmoment]

DirkJake Dreamworld [NSFW]

I wrote this instead of sleeping lol Uh, so yeah! DirkJake NSFW! Hope you enjoy:)

"Golly gosh, another long day!" he huffed with a satisfied tune. "That robot sure takes a lot out of a fella, I'll say!"

Jake pulls on his pajama pants, becoming damp from the shower water still dripping from his hair. A quick shake and water sprays everywhere, he laughs lightly to himself.

"I've been in an awfully good mood today, I wonder why that is? No matter, tomorrow is another day of adventures, better rest up!"

Jake didn't realize quite how fatigued he was until his sore bones hit the soft sheets and his eyelids suddenly dropped. He was so tired, yet his good mood only hummed stronger. A feeling most euphoria-like, he couldn't help his grin as he drifted to sleep.

A gentle breeze. From where? Jakes room doesn't have any windows. The presence of another person makes itself apparent, and his eyes shoot open in alarm, ready to fight, but he only manages a squeak at what he sees not 5 inches from his face.

"D..Dirk..?" Could it be? ..What was he wearing? Where was this? Jake was dreaming, right? Why was Dirk in his dreams, and why did he seem so.. real?

A warm breath tickled his face. This is the real deal, alright.

"I-I have.. so many questions!"

No response. Dirk seemed to be lost in thought, his emotions naturally unreadable, even now in person. Jake gave him a nervous tilt of the head, then glanced around to better take in his surroundings.

A simple bed in a room with a globe for walls and a roof. Almost no furniture, yet it still felt eerily similar to his own room. The edges were dark and foreboding, except for one area of the room, brightly lit by a singular window, letting in a dazzling yellow light from outside that made his eyes squint and cast a glittering sparkle on the floor.

No time for that! Although, time seemed to have stopped. Dirk continued to just stare, mouth hanging open just slightly as though in awe or shock. Jakes hand touched Dirks cheek gently before he had even realized he moved it, bringing a sudden flush to his cheeks.

'Naughty hand! It's no good to go caressing the cheek of my good pal the first time we meet!'

He quickly tries to pull his hand away but just as swiftly he is held in place by a surprisingly warm and soft hand. Is he getting closer? Oh boy.

Dirk drags in a sharp breath,

"Jake," fuck his voice is so smooth, what is even happening? "Jake, I.."

Jake shifted to sit up but was pushed back down with Dirks free hand, a bit more roughly than he would have expected. Jake could have sworn he saw Dirks face heat up slightly.

"Hey, I'm so happy to see you, pal! But, uh, what's going on..? Where are we? I'm all kinds of befuddled!" Jake smiled nervously and attempted to sit up again. Dirks grip didn't give in the slightest. Jake felt a jump in his gut at that, ‘but why?’ Jake frowned. "Di-"

He was cut off by lips on his. His breath hitched and every thought in his brain screeched to a grinding halt. He waited for the kiss to break so he could ask Dirk what the hell he was thinking, but his chance didn't come. To his dismay, he finds himself returning the kiss, which he also did not remember giving his body the permission to do.

A tongue presses against his lips, not a moment later it's inside them. Jake panics again, realizing he doesn't have control over his body, and he feels the vibration of a moan. He doesn't know whose it was, but likely it was Dirk who was turned on to all hell by how eagerly Jake had accepted him.

Finally, the kiss breaks for a breath of air.

"Dirk-!"

"Jake! Shh!!" Dirk sounded annoyed, Jake felt a sting in his chest.

"B-but-"

Dirk leaned in closer, mouth right next to Jakes ear, causing him to shudder. Then, in a low, urgent voice;

"Jake, we don't have forever, alright?"

It was a lie. Not fully, as they would indeed wake up at any time. But now that Jakes dreamself was awake, they could meet every night if they wanted to. Jake didn't know that yet. He simply nodded, getting the point, and the kiss resumed with more urgency, Dirks hands pushing up the inside of Jakes pajama shirt.

This wasn't how he thought his first time meeting his best chum would be. But.. if this was the only time they would get to see each other, he would admit that he would probably rather be doing this than learning about all the details; those could wait for the waking world. It's not like he had much of a choice anyways, as his body continued to move without his permission, doing things far more daring than he would ever do consciously.

Dirk grunted at the feeling of his pants being tugged down an inch. In an instant, he reached down and pulled them off entirely on his own, uncannily floating above the bed to do so before dropping back down. A small startled gasp came from Jake before he was cut off by yet another kiss.

Jakes pants were next, then his shirt. He whined and Dirk removed his own as well.

Then for a moment, all they did was stare at each other, pupils dilated with lust and love, feelings neither knew the other had. Everything was moving so fast, but for some reason it felt okay if it was him.

Another kiss, a palm pressing down on sensitive skin, muffled and desperate moans before they had even really done anything of significance.

"Fuck, Jake. You have no idea how long I've waited" he panted out between kisses and whimpers.

"F-For wha- mff!" His mouth was suddenly filled with 2 long fingers. His ears burned hot.

"You don't need to understand. Just know this has been a long time coming. Suck." The latter half of the sentence seemed to come out more as a growl. Jake obeyed and eagerly licked the fingers and covered them in saliva, his brain not quite processing why Dirk would need slicked up fingers.

As Dirk waited, he impatiently rutted his hips against Jakes, causing a pleased drawn out groan from both of them. The dry humping continued, cocks only separated by two layers of thin cloth.

Jake once again tugged down at the last obstacle between them, bringing a smug grin to Dirks face which did not help the fire in his cheeks. In a blink, they were completely stripped. Neither bothered to look down, they were content staring into each others eyes. Say, when did dirk remove his glasses? His eyes are such a vibrant orange, it made Jakes heart swell.

However, his heart wasn't his only swelled organ, and Dirk intended to see to that. He removed his fingers from Jakes mouth, scissoring them in the air to test just how wet they were. Drops of saliva trailed in drops down Dirks arm, sending shivers up his spine. Yup, that'll do, Jake. That'll do.

Just now it seems to have dawned on Jake the purpose that his spit would serve. Humiliation spread through his body like a wildfire, but Dirk just initiated another kiss and pressed a finger against Jakes entrance. Jake shuddered and moaned into the kiss at the sudden coldness against such a sensitive spot. His stomach muscles twitched as he felt Dirks dick press against it, twitching a bit itself. He broke away from the kiss and shoved his face against Dirks shoulder, letting out a pitiful moan and showering his neck with kisses and soft nips. Dirk sighed and rutted up against Jakes stomach a bit, pressing his first finger into Jake with surprising ease.

"Ah, J-Jake, have you, nh.. do you..?"

No asshole could be this loose untouched. Dirk experimentally pushed the second in already. The muscle clenched around him, and he heard a whimper from Jake signaling that this was enough to hurt. He stopped, slowing his soft thrusting to a stop also so as to not accidentally hurt him. 

A moment passed, then a shaky breath, then Jake attempted to push himself down on Dirks hand. A really fucking sexy way to signal he wants more, and who is Dirk to refuse?

A third finger. Jake hissed through clenched teeth and Dirk pulled back to kiss him again, doing everything in his power to distract him from the pain.

Eventually, Dirk could move his fingers. He heard a soft moan and began searching for a specific spot, continuing to pepper Jakes entire face with kisses.

"Fu-uck, Dirk--! Ah! Ah, Dirk, right there!"

Found it.

Dirk memorized the spot, and pushed against it a couple more times before stopping, pulling his fingers out and looking down. Neither of them would last much longer. Dreamselves were strangely sensitive, it seems.

Dirk came back from his thoughts and looked back up at a whimpering and pouting Jake. He couldn't help but smile.

"Don't you want something better?" His voice was so low it almost hurt his throat. But it was worth it to see that Jakes face could in fact become a deeper shade of red, contrary to popular belief. He didn't need an answer though, as if the actual forest fire on Jakes face wasn't enough of one already. He was already pressing the tip gently against the already slicked hole.

Jakes mouth was once again busied with passionate and loving kisses while his mind strained from burning pain. Compared to before though, it did not last long. Three fingers seemed to be the perfect amount of preparation. Just as he managed to catch his breath again, a completely different feeling flooded his nerves. Pure pleasure. Dirk was already nailing Jakes prostate repeatedly with pinpoint accuracy. Any pain from the speed was swallowed whole by such a shocking amount of pleasure that all of Jakes muscles locked up and his eyes rolled back instantly, mouth open in a silent scream. His whole body trembled, schlong especially. This was so unfair. He wanted to enjoy it, but now he was just moments away from his limit. A brief stop,

"Sorry, Jake. At that rate I was going to finish first."

Then the movements continued, only faster, and Jake gasped breathlessly at what Dirk said, and at the desperate breathing he now noticed against his ear. It was just too much, so much, it was perfect, oh god,

Jake shot up from his sleeping position, panting, out of breath, the brunt of his orgasm spilling to wet his pants. He grunted and gripped the sheets, unable to help but flop back down, arch his back and grip his still clothed dick as he rode out the climax.

"Fuck! Agh, Dirk! What the hell!" The sounds of panting and gasping filled the room, then,

Silence. It was morning. Jake came to terms with the fact his heart rate wasn't going to slow down anytime soon. He laid for a few minutes until he could at least breathe properly, then sat up again. He glanced over at his phone. The screen was lit up with a message.

timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]

TT: Have fun? That's a rhetorical question. I know you did. Congrats on waking up, let's do that again tonight.

#homestuck #dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck fanfic #dirkjake fanfic #homestuck smut

[arcplaysgames]

Yusuke got turned into a mouse. I wanna start there. Yusuke was a mouse.

Futaba's palace was LOOOOONG. It wasn't bad, just LONG and it had a lot of puzzles revolving around elevation, which Persona 5's map is just completely terrible at.

What was interesting was the narrative of the palace. Every once in a while, the Thieves would come across Shadow Futaba, who would try to lead them in the right direction, but if they immediately followed her, a trap would go off and try to kill them.

Which is a pretty effect blunt force metaphor for how Futaba feels. Wanting to invite people in and needing help, but having a lot of defenses and walls in the way.

Eventually, there is a door in her palace that can only be opened from the outside, by Futaba allowing the Thieves into her room in the real world.

Notigor out here handing out his fucking malware to everyone.

GOTTA SAY, she activates it and I'm like for real? she's a hacker, a random app shows up on her phone and she actually presses it? gurl.

This is new; her Shadow actually shows up like 'sup' and has a really civil talk with her. Which makes sense, she is the one who literally reached out for help, wanting her heart stolen. The entire situation with Futaba is messy honestly. She's a willing target, she's already pretty okay with her Shadow, and it turns out that the thing that's cracking her psyche is a lie. When her mother Wakaba died, a bunch of shady dudes in suits showed up and read Wakaba's "suicide note" to everyone, claiming it was Futaba's fault she "killed herself."

mmm, sure jan.

There's a truly fucking great sequence when Futaba does allow the Thieves into her room... but then hides in the closet instead and talks to them through it. She knows ALL ABOUT the Metaverse it seems because her mother was working on it.

So.

Wakaba was murdered for her research into this cognitive world, I'm assuming by the "future Prime Minister". We already know that mental shutdowns are happening around Japan. Maybe that's a weird side effect of whatever the Bad Guys are actually trying to do with the Metaverse. If you can alter people's thinking using this cognitive psience, that sounds like a powerful population control.

I'm not sure if P5 is gonna retread the ground that P4 already did and have the power of rumors and fame start to determine the course of reality, but I can see the bones of that being set up here.

THIS MOMENT IS AMAZING. I like Futaba a lot. I was really shocked at her voice, I thought they would go for a much younger, immature voice given the visual design of her character, but Erica Lindbeck is doing STELLAR work with her.

(It took me a bit to place her but I know her as Jessie from FF7:Remake, and she's AMAZING.)

The Thieves give her the calling card and am-scray to go steal her Treasure.

oh wow that's a big mom

As with every time we pick up our mandatory sensory-persona user, we gotta have a hopeless boss fight where they come to the team's rescue and cement their usefulness.

This time is pretty fun though, so I don't mind the re-tread.

Given how we've seen in previous games how a Shadow that's rejected can turn violent real fast, seeing Futaba's Shadow talking her through her trauma is genuinely very touching. I think anyone who's got depression/anxiety and has to talk themselves down from the irrationality of your own emotions knows this feeling.

What's interesting is that usually Shadow's are a manifestation of the harshest edges a person has. Futaba's Shadow however is a manifestation of her own kindness towards herself. That's powerful shit.

YOU KNOW

I HAVE HAD MANY PROBLEMS WITH SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI: PERSONA 5: THE ROYAL BUT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE IT JUST GOES COMPLETELY OFF ITS SHITS AND PULLS SHIT LIKE THIS AND I'M LITERALLY CLAPPING

good golly miss molly, Tronification By Tentacle UFO is by far the best persona awakening we are ever going to see, that's a wrap people.

Now that the actual Mission Control character has arrived, I don't have to listen to Makoto do it anymore, yaaaaay.

Also there is a moment when, after the Monster Mom is defeated, the memory of the real Wakaba shows up to thank Futaba for remembering her as she really was, and they get to say an "I love you" and it's genuinely great shit.

With their part of the deal complete, Futaba just fucking leaves to go handle her own, lmao. Peace out, bitches.

the palace starts collapsing because the heist is over, and we're not gonna talk about what the fuck happened with Morana's Van form voring the team! We're not talking about it!

I feel like that screenshot needs a content warning of SOME kind.

That's a wrap! Futaba immediately falls the fuck asleep afterward (which Sojiro says is actually normal for her, she'll just run her batteries down and then pass out for a few days apparently, lmao) and I have a solid 20-something days until the deadline.

When I assume Futaba will wake up and go "What? Oh, I'm Medjed, was that not obvious?" and everyone will act super shocked about this. I'm still p convinced on that one.

Sidebar: Matt Mercer (Yusuke), Erika Harlacher (Ann), and Erica Lindbeck (Futaba) are fucking killing it. I have yet to hear a bad performance from a Persona game, but these are extremely good performances. I am fairly sure that I would have less affection for the cast as a whole if I was playing without voice acting. It really elevates everything.

#p5 #persona liveblog

[suhmayzooka]

i’m like one of the people i know who actively reads precrisis age batman comics, so i’m going to try to convince the rest of you to join me. i wholeheartedly believe 90% of the batfandom will like precrisis batdad. 

“i wish WFA was canon” i wish golden age batdad was canon.

anyway. let’s talk about the story “bruce wayne loses guardianship of dick grayson” from batman #20.

dick’s “””aunt””” and “”“uncle””” (spoiler: they’re actually evil) show up and take bruce wayne to court over guardianship of dick grayson. of course, dick does not want to be taken from bruce, with whom “mutual affection between this man and boy has been as strong as that between father and son!” 

on the cover, we can see robin’s teary face as he’s dragged away from batman in court. very dramatic. 

we open to this lovely scene between said “father and son”, only to be interrupted by alfred alerting them that they have visitors. fuck visitors, alfred! bruce and dick are in their pajamas in the middle of a pillow fight! i hope dick’s winning.

[the wayne home is a happy home, for in it lives a happy trio! one day...]

A: mornin’, mawster dick! beg pardon, mr. wayne... but a gentleman and a lady are waitin’ downstairs!

D: haw! haw! you missed by a mile! hi, alfred!

B: visitors? okay, alfred, we’ll be down as soon as we haul on some clothes!

FYI this is how alfred’s dialogue is always written in these comics. british.

also. just. “the wayne home is a happy home, for in it lives a happy trio!” okay! okkayy!

.... not all is happy in the wayne home, though. “uncle george” and “aunt clara” are here and ready to take dick away! but bruce won’t let them go so easily!

D: no! i won’t go with you! bruce... don’t let them take me! 

B: you can’t take dick away now! not after all these years! he’s like a son! i won’t let you!

just look how protective bruce is. that’s his boy!! that’s his son!!! 

they go to court, and bruce pleads not to lose dick. dick is similarly upset. look how dark and edgy batman is grrrr i am the night vengeance grrrrr

[in a strained voice, bruce adds his testimony...]

B: dick is like my own son! i’ve even changed my will so that in the case of my death, dick will get my entire fortune! your honor, I... I love that boy! please don’t take him from me!

[dick is called...]

D: and when mom and pop died in the circus, I was all alone! then bruce... mr. wayne took me in! a fella couldn’t want a better friend!

okay: 1. bruce says “I LOVE THAT BOY.” 

2. what’re the chances bruce is including the batman mantle in his will? also, dick is like... 10? he’s already left everything to dick? why not alfred, who’s, y’know, an adult?

unfortunately for our caped crusaders, the court rules that bruce must give up guardianship since he’s an irresponsible playboy. fortunately for us batfamily angst enjoyers, this means we get to see bruce absolutely DESTROYED over the loss of dick

*bruce and dick tearfully hugging*

D: golly, bruce... it’s no use pretending! i don’t know how i’m going to stand it!

B: easy, dick... be a good soldier!

uh.. gee, bruce, what a normal thing to say to your kid! “good soldier” i sure hope those words never come back to bite you in the ass! 

*bruce watching dick walk off with his “aunt” and “uncle”

B: goodbye, kid, goodbye...

B: it’s going to be hard, alfred! 

A: yes, sir! this house won’t be the same without him!

B: in order to cover up my batman work, I had to pretend to be a playboy. And now it’s made me lose the person I love the most! it isn’t fair! it isn’t fair!

anyone else feel your heart ripped out rn? bruce admitting dick is the person he loves the most? also, those panels remind me of when dick goes off to college in batman #217 

[and so it is that the batman, who started his career alone, once hunts down crime—alone!

B: i certainly am going to miss robin... and those corny puns he’d yell whenever he’d wallop a thug!

aww he misses robin’s puns :( he’s so sad guys 

thankfully, robin isn’t gone! he swoops in and helps batman get the bad guys.

D: looks like my footprint is “lion” on your chin... and I’m not “lion”! Oh! corny puns, eh, batman?

B: corny? maybe to you, but to me—they’re beautiful!!

he’s so proud of his boy

uh blah blah the aunt and uncle are actually evil, batman find himself in dire peril, dick and alfred team up to save the day, etc etc

*alfred holds the villain as robin punches him*

A: neatly done, mawster robin!

[and in a wooden shack on an empty lot...]

D: where did fatso take the batman? talk!

bad guy: i don’t know nothin’!

A: he seems a bit stubborn, sir! might i suggest a method of loosening his tongue? we might just leave him here in the dark, sir! there’s nothing around to harm him—just some, er, big rats!

D: splendid! maybe they’ll gnaw at his conscience!

bad guy: hey! wait a minute! i’ll talk! i’ll talk!

christ, alfred! don’t mess with the butler. he could’ve killed bane with that attitude.

thankfully, all goes well, the bad guys are defeated with the power of the Batfamily, and bruce regains guardianship of dick... because batman convinced the judge. gotham has a great fair justice system. someone get harvey dent here

judge: mr wayne, dick is yours again! incidentally, i’m inclined to agree with the batman! he visited me before and said that in spite of your playboy activities, you were really a good man!

B: well... of all people, he should know... eh, dick?

D: and how!

a happy ending for our little family <3 

#batclan #dc #lynxreadscomics #bruce wayne #dick grayson

[incyrayinc]

Trying to figure out what color the fucking demon blood should be. They are comfortable all they way up to 99C and can survive brief boiling temperatures. Basically, if water is still liquid, the temperature is fine for them.

PROBLEM: I'm pretty sure their fucking blood will denature at those kind of temperatures. Honestly, a lot of familiar organic chemicals will probably denature at those temperatures! golly fuck I am going to need either some sort of chemical that keeps their fucking flesh from cooking, or made up magical substance that does the same thing,,, since this IS a setting with magic

fucking, genetically encoded spell of 'flesh Not Cook' might actually fr be necessary for them to function kzeshgkdhlkdh

but like, problem with that: that is like GROSSLY OP of a spell. HALT a chemical reaction? your proteins from unfolding? just force them to hold their shape? insane there are so many applications for that. not to mention doing that for a whole organism would probably be a huge magic suck. would be funny to see them kill eachother by force halting that spell and the demon fucking dies of heat damage from their own natural environment, tho

actually wait hold up [brief research session]

I might end up not having the patience to figure out what kind of chemical can both aerobic respiration and Not Denature Above 50C, BUT!

I think I have an answer for what the cellular chemistry would look in general

fucking

Hyperthermophile Archea and friends

ok this confirms that A. YEP these temperatures ARE possible, it is just going to look pretty different under a microscope

golly fuck though considering there is no photosynthesis going on in their SUBTERRANEAN WORLD, I think they might either have to be fucking anaerobic or have producers that make oxygen through some alternative reaction. either way their atmosphere is probably very different from Earth's, and probably a lot less uniform across depthes- gasses are going to settle and become trapped very easily in a system of caverns like this! It is fucking Oxygen Not Included rules down there, no weather no seasons very little wind in the cave systems of their fucking rogue planet

I started with a fantasy creature OC with straight up magic and demon summoning how did I end up here. Oh wait nevermind I know why; I will inject speculative biology into ANYTHING. I have so many nickels.

#inc's ramblings #demon setting

[welcome-to-octo-space]

oh my golly gee please tell me about your yokai watch aus

Okay so i have a lot(and i mean a lot and by that i mean just god dawm i have to many) but ill just talk about the ones im currently working on

Yo-Kai Watch V5.C(version 5.Crystal)

So basically in this AU (and i have a future version that will also be talked about) inaho basically is the antagonist and shadow side never happens since this splits of from the cannon game timeline after ykw3 but to sum stuff up for the whole start.

Its 3 months after inaho lost her watch and while in an alleyway after helping a yo-kai with a problem she finds the kuro/black watch from that evil alternate reality so she does what any good chaotic dumbass does that slowly over the course of 5 weeks turns her slowly more "evil", psychotic, insane, and generally coo-coo in the head (alao during 1 month before inaho found the watch buck moved to springdale with his sister btw) which everyone in the school takes an obvious notice of. Eventually the black watch gives inaho the option to willingly help him take over the world which she accepts so she gets cool powers and a awesome beeg anime scythe and after a chapter or 2 (in a what if game sense) recruits the white yo-kai(idk if they have anyother name but the yo-kai MCkraken had on his side in ykw1), the wicked yo-kai including kin and jin, and some of ghoul fathers lackeys. Now fast-forward to the last chapter of the what if game and inaho is mega cool final boss with a cool final form reminiscent of a evil sailor moon and so after a fight she's defeated but not killed but since the kuro watch doesn't wana get off inaho and wants to basically be a parasite, so ya know what USApyon does?

HE FUCKING GRABS THE GOD DAM ENMA SWORD FROM NATE AND SHOOTS INAHO IN THE HEAD AND STABS HER IN ZE CHEST WITH ZE SWORD AS SHE THEN FALLS DOWN A FUCKING CLIFF OR SOMETHING.

So due to some TouHou anime Plot amor crackshit Bullshit logic she survived all that and is basically undead so she ends up going to timers and more and gets up and gets herself bandaged up and so as she's bandaging up her chest wound Mr. Goodsight is taking her old watch that he ended up finding and the kuro and watch and basically fusing the two into what inaho decided to call the "Yo-Kai Watch Crystal Model V" (the v stands for villan ehe) and ya wana know what she does after she's bandage up she sends a picture to the groupchat of her nate and buck and send them a picture of her giving them the middle finher eith the caption "✨i lived bitches✨🖕" so now fast forward a few days and yopple is mass producing Yo-Kai watch Models Crystals thanks to inaho letting them look at ger watch so now buck and nate get the first two models and now have cool new soul weapons

Nate gets a genshin style claymore and buck has a bow and arrow. And then ya got like post-game adventures and shit NOW

V5C FUTURE

Basically just fast forward to their high-school years with Nate Jessica Inaho Buck and Katie all going to a high-school in Tokyo because cool beans and while i dont have much of a set plot for V5C future i have a cool what if game concept, Mythos skills Basically just last resorts so if you wana read about it heres the Google doc i made on it(its not complete by any means but i think theres enough info in it)

The Precious Otaku☆and the reserved DJ

This is basically just a ykw x D4DJ groovy mix au im working on writing a fanfic for so not much that i wana spoil about it but basically Saori who in this au is inaho cousin goes to Springdale for a monthly vacation and Merm4id follows and Inaho can DJ all im gona say.

Yosona 5

As the name suggests Yo-Kai watch x persona 5 so basically nate and Akiren/Joker are brothers inaho and nate become phantom theives (Nates codename is Ace and Inahos is Red)

And they help go on multiple silly ventures in the metaverse and stuff but how did they find out about the metaverse in the first place well my dear friendo

Our two soon to be theives were just going into the springdale train station to go check out tokyo since its not that long of a train ride from springdale and when they get out from the train and enter the shibuya subway nate earlier that day saw the metamav app on his phone and ended up having it open while they were going to walk out of the subway as inaho says and i quote "hay have you ever wanted to try and thing with Soda and Mementos gum i think its called" which and probably the dumbest way to accidentally end up in mementos so they end up meeting the phantom theives their and get help getting out of mementos and the rest is history aka plot i haven't come up with yet.

Your average everyday talking claymore.

Literally just nate becomes clay more become him inaho and buck decided to be dum dums snd go explore a dungeon.

So nate gets killed by this Phoenix Weapon Smith boss yokai who as a way if saying sorry in a way turns his soul into a claymore and i have to figure out more lore for it but yeh.

So anywho thats all the aus im working on rn

#yokai watch #youkai watch #yo kai watch #yokaiwatchAU #Yo kai watch Au #Yo-Kai Watch #AU dump

[donut-cloud]

Lifesteal smp quotes

Bacon and Spepticle: Trick or Treat! 

Clutch: *pulls out a deck of cards* Oh, I’ve got a trick! 

Bacon: I mean… We’d prefer a treat… 

Clutch: …Then get the fuck off my property.

Ro: I heard Zam got banned?

Mapicc: Yup, for something he didn't do.

Ro: What didn't he do?

Mapicc: Run fast enough.

Manager: Would a Mr. Planet come to the front desk?

Planet, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Manager, pointing to Jaron and Bacon, I believe they belong to you?

Jaron and Bacon, simultaneously: We got lost  

Planet: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Vitalasy: Subz... 

Subz: Oh no, 'Subz' in B flat. 

Subz: You're disappointed.

Bacon: What’s the nice french place we went to called again?

Planet: France?

Bacon That’s the one

Rek: *picks up his phone* What, I’m busy.

Branzy: Do you think drinking 36 cans of red bull consecutively would make me finally able to kill Clown?

Rek:

Rek: I’m on my way

Reddens: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in the hall? 

Ashswag: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us

Reddoons: This is my wall of inspirational people. 

Don: Is that a picture of you?

Redoons: I can admit that i am often inspired by myself.

Branzy: you have to be nice 

Clown: i am 

Branzy: you threatened them with a knife 

Clown: but i didn't stab them

Zam: What do you want from me?! 

Leo: *eating a kitkat without breaking it* 

Zam: PLEASE, STOP

Jaron: There is no ‘i’ in ‘team’ but there is one in ‘pizza’

Bacon: So that means you won’t share your pizza.

Jaron, shoving it all into his mouth: Absolutely not.

Zam: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it man

Redoons: What are your goals?

Ashswag: To pet all the dogs.

Redoons: No, fitness goals.

Ashswag: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs

Spoke: HELP! I TOLD PARROT I’D MAKE DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Bacon, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Poafa: I think I’m having a mid-life crisis

Mappic: You’re like 16 years old.

Poafa: I MIGHT DIE AT 30

Branzy: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Clown: You mean literally or figuratively?

Branzy: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify

Mid: Sorry I’m late, I was busy.

Leo: *enters the room, noticeably disheveled* SHE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIR

Leo: *laying on the floor*

Cube: Are you okay?

Leo: I’d die for some orange juice.

Cube: *grabbing orange juice* Here

Leo: *drinks juice*

Leo: *dies*

Subz: Wow, great work on the halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?

Vitalasy: ...fake?

Red: Pangi, I thought you were decorating for Halloween.

Pangi: I am.

Red: You’re just hanging up pictures of Subz in a maid dress.

Pangi: You said you wanted scary decorations.

Parrot, testing a new potion: *reads Spoke’s mind*

Spoke: 

BOYS AND GIRLS

OF EVERY AGE 

 WOULDN’T YOU LIKE 

TO SEE SOMETHING STRANGE 

 COME WITH US 

AND YOU WILL SEE 

THIS IS OUR TOWN OF HALLOWEEN 

Parrot: wtf

[mittensmorgul]

aaaahahahahahhhhhhahahh the worst thing Sam ever said to dean. 9.13, The Purge:

Dean: About what you said the other day.

Sam: I thought it didn’t bother you.

Dean: You know Sam, I saved your hide back there. I saved your hide at that church — in the hospital. I may not think things all the way through but when I do, it’s because it’s the right thing. I’d do it again.

Sam: And that is the problem. You think you’re my savior, my brother, the hero. You swoop in and even when you mess up you think what you’re doing is worth it because you’ve convinced yourself you’re doing more good than bad... but you’re not. Kevin’s dead, Crowley’s in the wind, we’re no closer to beating this angel thing, please tell me, what is the upside to me being alive?

Dean: Are you kidding me? You and me, fighting the good fight together.

Sam: Just once be honest with me, you didn’t save me for me. You did it for you.

Dean: What are you talking about?

Sam: I was ready to die, I was ready. I should have died. But you, you didn’t want to be alone. That’s what this boils down to, you can’t stand the thought of being alone. I’ll give you this much, you are certainly willing to do the sacrifice, as long as you’re not the one being hurt.

Dean: Alright, you want to be honest, if the situation was reversed, and I was dying, you’d do the same thing.

Sam: No Dean, I wouldn’t. Same circumstances, I wouldn’t. I’m heading to bed.

(bolding mine, because we’re gonna talk about those words...)

The problem in the Winchester Codependency is this. We’ve talked about it for years-- the fact that yes, they’re brothers, but that Dean also still can’t help but feel “parental” toward Sam, because that’s the role he was forced into as long as he can remember. And as many glimpses of this as Sam has had, and as many small (and sometimes large) moments of insight into Dean, he still either refuses to understand this, or blocks it out, or assumes it’s all handled until the next time this issue rears its ugly head again and it’s like Sam developed amnesia again about why Dean defaults to the Bossy Parent role.

I mean, this is not to discount Dean’s own amnesia over the fact that Sam does NOT have the same hangups about feeling “parental” toward Dean in return, because to Dean the role of Brother and Parent are so tangled up together he can’t always tell what’s what. 

And Kevin... he’s not dead because of Sam-- even though he enjoys putting the blame for it on himself. He’s dead because Gadreel felt BETRAYED by Dean, even though he himself had been betrayed for the better part of the entire history of time... so like... there’s much bigger issues here, but Sam reduces them all down to himself. I mean, Dean also blames himself for everything a lot of the time, but not when it’s in the attempt to save the people he cares about.

The whole “we’ll always try to save each other” that is a BIG part of Dean’s personal definition of what it means to be family on a very basic level... Sam just basically stomped on that and told him it was worthless. And the painful irony is that by 10.03, Sam gets this. He finally put on his grownup pants and did something far more horrific than Dean asking an angel he thought he could trust (based on Cas’s word about Ezekiel being a good soldier, and that angel not completely lying about his identity) to save Sam’s life, and then Sam effectively being held hostage by that angel-- which directly hurt Cas and Dean both, as well. So like... at least Dean is trying to keep the bigger picture in mind here.

And Dean has already punished himself for this in direct ways that Sam has also watched first-hand. He’s expressed how he feels he’s poison and went off and took the Mark of Cain, effectively sacrificing himself to spare Sam and Cas and everyone else from Abaddon. So that bit Sam says there in the second bolded segment? Is potentially the worst thing he’d ever said to Dean up to that point. Because Dean himself has sacrificed more than almost everyone else on this show combined-- his own identity, his own happiness, everything he’s ever wanted in life since he was four years old, his own soul in exchange for Sam’s, and most horrifically his own LIFE in a future where he FINALLY had a chance to be free and live unburdened by mechanism that caused their repeated need to make these awful sacrifices in the first place. They’d finally knocked the monkey wrench out of the cosmic gears, unseated Chuck, and then... for some reason Dean thinks one more final big sacrifice for Sam is what “was supposed to” happen? NO. No, no, fuck that sideways with a container ship.

Yes, Sam repents of all of this in s10 and goes WAY over the top on his revenge mission, because he thinks Dean is dead and that some rando demon was just using his body... at the beginning he doesn’t think Dean CAN be saved. 10.03 is the beginning of Sam’s redemption from this.

And this is why 15.20 is not only implausible to me, but outright offensive. They both struggled horrifically with these things and would eventually forgive and overcome them, only to fall right back into it just in time for the finale.

Yes, Sam’s issues with bodily autonomy and possession throughout the series are at play here, too. And that only makes things worse. Dean will only truly begin to understand that after 13.23, when he will-- without hesitation-- once again make the sacrifice himself to save the people he cares about.

I understand both of their perspectives here, but heck it’s super hard not to feel angry and hurt by Sam’s words. I mean, HOW MANY TIMES has Dean been perfectly willing to be the sacrifice for Sam’s sake, and the ONE TIME he made a choice for Sam-- bearing in mind that Gadreel was also playing ALL of them, and using Dean’s face to secure the Yes from Sam-- Sam can’t let it go. I mean, I’ve written about the “who’s to blame for this” argument and how it just goes right back to the start of creation and puts it all on Chuck for locking up Amara. In this circumstance specifically, though, this is at least PARTLY Dean’s personal guilt over “failing” that first trial way back in 8.14. Sam was never the one who was supposed to “sacrifice” himself to close up Hell. Dean even argued with him that they would find another Hellhound to kill, and Sam busted out the Power of Positive Thinking BS about wanting to SURVIVE the trials when Dean was looking at them as a death sentence. Because they always WERE a death sentence, and no amount of “golly I’d really like to live anyway though” was gonna change that. The entire POINT of what Dean did was trying to CORRECT what he felt was a pointless sacrifice of Sam on the altar of saving everyone else.

So yeah, I hate this bit here. :’D

Because as I hinted at in the previous paragraph there... THIS WAS ALWAYS CHUCK’S STORY. That one brother would have to be sacrificed so the other could live. Because that’s the story of him and Amara. Only one of them could rule over creation. Only Chuck could remain free to create the universe he wanted unhindered, and the story of his universe as told and retold through his own creations was his own self-justification for that original crime. And the final episode of Supernatural gave him exactly that, in the stupidest possible way. It was “we can’t have nice things or a happy life, only one’s death so the other can be free.” The irony was that they weren’t truly free. Dean was just ~dead~ and alone and never sought out what he never got to have in life. Sam abandoned everything he’d grown to know about himself to live a half-life without any real satisfaction, until he finally died, too. It’s just... depressing AF. And it all feels rooted in Chuck’s basic plot rather than truly winning for Free Will and humanity.

I typed on this so long that 9.14 ended, with Kevin’s admonition to them both that they stop behaving like that, since he’d ben watching them be petty from the veil for months. Dean was ready to talk to Sam, but Sam had already turned his back and walked away, completely convinced of his own righteousness in this matter. And at this point in the series I just kinda want to yell at him... >.>

#spn 9.13 #spn 10.03 #breaking the codependency #chuck's process #spn 15.20 #spn 9.14 #spiders georg of the tnt loop

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

#the ghost ship answers questions #I...honestly don't know what to tag this as #I have thoughts about eddie and shannon's relationship #that are probably unpopular opinions #teal dear she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress #and I also don't like her for personal reasons #and eddie is not perfect but I wouldn't want him to be and like seeing him try to improve constantly #and also am personally predisposed to like single dads #also for personal reasons

[firelxdykatara]

i was rewatching a few parts of 7x12 to remind myself exactly how that absolutely stupid clusterfuck of a fight went, and... man it was even more ridiculous than i remember.

first of all, they were on a goddamn airship. tight quarters do not mix well with huge and/or ranged weapons if three grown ass adults decide to start fighting like fucking toddlers who never learned impulse control. especially since it either wasn’t a ship intended as a prisoner transport, or it was the stupidest prisoner transport known to man, since there was nothing separating the area apparently meant to contain the literal actual serial killer from the pilot’s seat. but that’s honestly small potatoes compared to the massive Idiot Balls everyone else on that ship was carrying.

the only one with a functioning braincell was tyrian goddamn callows. jfc

(rant below. this fight pisses me off so so so much. it is absolutely terrible writing. if you have to turn three otherwise competent and intelligent and mature adults into ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS just to make a fight happen so that you can kill one of them, learn how to write better for the love of god)

tyrian callows, known serial killer, sitting there and clearly gleefully spoiling for a fight: it’s taking too long for this show to get to the good part!

robyn hill, an allegedly intelligent woman, who already has her weapon out for some fucking reason (even though she wasn’t even on that arrest warrant and there wouldn’t have been anything stopping her from leaving as soon as the ship landed): ah, yes, this serial killer who is working for someone even worse is a voice of reason i should listen to! i’m going to fire an arrow from inside a pressurized flying metal container that is not meant to have holes punched in it, at a man who isn’t even trying to detain me much less threaten me, because this serial killer thinks it’s a good idea for a fight to start!

qrow branwen, an allegedly intelligent man, who had, up until that point, been urging robyn (who already had her weapon out for some fucking reason) to calm down, and suggesting they just go fucking talk to ironwood to figure out what the hell was going on since they had absolutely no context for anything and qrow himself certainly hadn’t done anything worthy of a warrant being issued for his arrest, so going quietly with clover would have been the intelligent move as that would allow him to talk to ironwood which was what he was asking for in the first place: well, this allegedly intelligent woman just shot at clover, who pulled out his weapon to defend himself, and since i was literally two seconds ago telling her to calm down so that we could make it back to james and i can figure out what the fuck is going on......i’m gonna jump in and attack clover, forcing him to fight to defend himself on two fronts in these very small quarters! i am then going to act surprised when the serial killer, who was sitting there the entire time and who literally egged the fight on because it was what he wanted to happen, gets free and, because he’s clinically insane and also working for salem, something i knew from the start, stings the pilot and intentionally crashes the ship. golly gee, i wish someone could possibly have foreseen this outcome other than the insane murderer i just helped set free!

now, to clover’s credit, he didn’t actually do anything wrong or idiotic on the plane. robyn shot him, and he deflected the shot because he was defending himself. then qrow jumped in, despite trying to calm her down literally three seconds earlier, and clover had to defend himself on two fronts. he had no way of stopping tyrian from getting free because the two idiots who let it happen were attacking him relentlessly, and when the serial killer sent the plane into a dive, he got the hell out of dodge. very reasonable, and even reasonably intelligent.

he tried to bring qrow in quietly, after the crash. but when qrow made it clear he was going to fight, clover obliged--and this was fair too, because he had absolutely no context as to why qrow was on that warrant, and no reason to question it. and since even after clover saying ‘i’m gonna have to take you in’ qrow was saying ‘let’s just go back to atlas so i can talk to james’, it was more than fair of him to try one more time to just end things without a fight.

(i will say, though, that their conversation makes absolutely no sense. clover trying to follow orders because he has no reason to question them, and qrow wanted to talk to ironwood anyway so that would be the easiest way to accomplish it, suddenly means that he and qrow weren’t friends? what??? and then there’s the fact that qrow could easily have shifted into a bird and flown the fuck away to figure out what the hell had gone wrong. i doubt he thought clover would leave robyn to freeze to death [not that she would have anyway, since the show completely forgot the cold was actually supposed to be a severe threat], since by that point he had a reason to arrest her too, and at least in a jail cell she’d have reasonable medical care or at least have time for her aura to recharge.)

but then tyrian joined the fray.

and all of clover’s braincells promptly keeled over and died.

because qrow, seeming to grow back at least one braincell, looked at this serial killing Salem minion and thought ‘ok, he is the greater threat’--qrow wasn’t trying to kill clover, but he knew tyrian wouldn’t hesitate to kill either of them, and if he had even an ounce of intelligence he probably figured out that this was tyrian’s plan the whole time--and switched targets, attacking the serial killer instead.

clover ‘i lost all of my braincells in the last five seconds’ ebi, rather than attacking the known serial killer who was definitely a lethal threat (whereas qrow was not likely to have murderous intent even if he planned to try knocking him out so he could get away), chose to attack qrow again instead. this left qrow initially fighting on two fronts, and incredibly vulnerable as a result.

and here’s where we get the absolute worst decision in the history of mankind.

“you and i have unfinished business.” “i agree. so what say we put the kid to bed and then finish it?”

qrow. that is a serial killer you are talking to. you fucking know that he absolutely means to kill clover, because you are not a fucking idiot. (well, ok, you are, because all your braincells fell out on that plane, but that’s beside the point.) and you’re going to willingly team up with him, signalling to clover that you do have murderous intent, and then you’re going to be surprised when clover winds up dead, to the point of blaming a man who wasn’t even there?!?!?!?!

i’m beginning to think that qrow branwen was snatched away at the beginning of the plane fight and replaced with an idiotic clone, because his writing has not improved since v8 began. but this fight is absolutely the epitome of how not to write a fight scene leading to a significant death oh my god. it’s like a masterclass in mistakes you shouldn’t make, because if you do you will make your allegedly competent, intelligent, and mature adult characters seem like violent toddlers who completely lack impulse control, and that image is going to stay with the audience when one of them continues to do things like blame a man who wasn’t even present at the fight for clover’s death. and the other one mocks the dead man as if she wasn’t the idiot who started the fight that got him killed in the first place (by letting tyrian get free so the rest of it could happen).

#rwby #rwby v7 #rwby v8 #rwby spoilers #(towards the end of the last paragraph) #qrow branwen #clover ebi #robyn hill #or as i like to call them The Three Idiot Stooges #tyrian stole all their braincells #it's tragic really #rwby critical #i hate that fight so much

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 14 part b

Alright time for more reactions to Homesqaured- oh jeezus

the last one of these I did was from october last year, hoo boy alright brain time to get back on the time train things are happening fast

we last left off with me thinking they just fucking hilled Harry but I remembered the wrong house so Harrys fine, John not so much

Yeah, John sad but ooh Karkat shows up!

They seem to have a mutual conversation about lost youth and stuff, really makes these characters feel oold

“JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat.

JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed.

JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.“

Oh man, John thats a whole ass MOOD

lol at sburb allocated blow job

yeah Karkats right tho, John does kind of need a kick in the pants to see how he might have been useful here, but Johns still stuck in this rut of not seeing anything around him as Real real, so hes blind to all of the consequences of inaction

John its called derealization and depersonalization, you can get help for that yknow

But I mean, cant really blame him, hes being smothered by the fires of Doom all around him

Its interesting to see that Karkat, a Blood player, is more comfortable navigating through things that constrain them and tie them down, since constraint is something Blood and Doom have in common, Chains and Barriers and Laws and etc

Whereas John the Breath player, just gets bogged down, hes totally out of his element

so it ends up being like John: “Id like to cling to some funny moments of my youth pls and try to lighten the situation up a bit because I cant do anything when so heavy”

versus Karkat being like: “BUCKLE UP FUCK TITS THIS SHIT IS YOUR LIFE NOW GETS USED TO WADING KNEE DEEP IN THE SHIT LIKE THE REST OF US GROWN ASS ADULTS”

John: ):

Hmm, both Vriskas have been captured, but Annie basically rescued herself, knowing Vriska Prime she probably has a plan or an idea about that, see well see how that goes

“KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN.

KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE.

KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Oh. Well I guess that was Dirk’s “plans” for Jane all along. Obviously he was using Jane as a vehicle to gather “players” for his eventually next session, interesting

But who has Jane kidnapped in total thus far?

Does Tavros count? he was certainly trapped with her for some amount of his life, but I dont know if that counts as a kidnapping, John certainly tried to kidnap HIM though from the epilogues

Annie certainly counts as being kidnapped

Vrissy has JUST been captured so that counts, and Harry so far is still fine

Which bodes so well for Harry’s future Im sure

Yeah, Vriska should have been able to not outwit any capture attempts, but my guess is either Vrissy got capture and Vriska dove in, OR, Vriska’s doing an inside job so to speak and got caught on purpose, dragging Vrissy along as well

I guess we’ll see when we see their “prison”

Anyway John, don’t get so down on yourself, you’re just ignorant to everythiong around you! thats why nothing makes sense and you can’t connect to anything, easy fix! Just try to learn more and care more about stuff lol

Man does this feel like a strong metaphor between people who are into/care about politics and people who feel like they can’t get into it though

Crossing that hurdle from one side to the other is rough

“KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.”

yup

man, this is all feeling startlingly relevant to the current times, I should have read this sooner

“ KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. “

hah, oh wow, Karkat when you phrase it like that, it’s almost as if you’ve become self aware of your tendencies to Moirail people out of their problems

Not really that out of character for a Blood player to end up being the Therapy Friend though lol

Just don’t burn yourself out on that though

JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*!

KARKAT: ABOUT ME?

JOHN: yes.

KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*?

JOHN: about you.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME.

JOHN: well...

JOHN: you know, how you feel!

KARKAT: HOW I FEEL.

I know Karkat has probably matured past misunderstandings like this now given he’s really come into a great understanding of his Blood aspect, but by golly do I wish Karkat would misunderstand this as John’s attempts to be Moirail-reciprocal sdkjfhwlijebr

What a perfect way to continue their relationship, on top of more misconstrued romance quadrants XD

Spades is old Hat, Diamonds are in now babey

Oh

this started out funny, but Karkat’s emotional rant just ended up being depressing not funny ):

I have to say though, it is REALLY interesting to see John’s depression manifesting in a very breathy sort of way

Karkat in these panels was more closer together, connected, but as John gets more and more depressed over the course of Karkat’s rant when he realizes Karkat doesn’t know dave died, the panels get seperated by lines of blue, and slowly drift off away from John and from eachother

but thats basically been hows its been manifesting all along

the more John feels Disconnected and Seperate from the reality he finds himself in, the more he finds his will untethered, the more depressed and unable to act he gets

and right now its so much so that even a fuller fledged Blood player is having trouble grounding him back down

I don’t know, I always viewed the depression metaphor as a dark watery void to sink into and feels heavy and encapsulating (but probably thats just my Light-y interpretation of it)

so its interesting to see the depression metaphor as this floating disconnection instead, so much that it leans towards derelaization/depersonalistion/dissociation as well

I wonder if John will start dealing with bouts of actual full blown dissociation as this gets worse?

I mean, Breath aspect has given the literal ability to ghost around wherever he pleases in all other ways, why not literally and physcologically as well?

So John seems to be fully overembracing his aspect here, to a very unhealthy degree here, which I see you asking “aha Dahni, but hes doesn’t have overblown self esteem here, quite the opposite, is this not an inverted state instead? or something else because hes acting like hes inverting to Breath?”

and I say not so! reader, for overembracing is the idea that through your aspect, your will is overwriting the wills of others, and in someone like Vriska, this manifests in a very selfish and over self esteemed way

but is not John’s will overwriting Karkat’s here? Through Breath? And isnt John also being a little selfish here? Considering how he feels about things, more important than how anyone else feels? How Karkat feels?

John is too dissociated to understand that this reality is Real and has Consequences he needs to care about, and Karkat is trying to fight against that, trying to instill his belief that no, this shit is real and it Matters Why Don’t You Care, trying to ground him, trying to give him that dose of Blood he needs

but John’s overembracing Breath is just, blowing that all away, its becoming too strong

Roxy in the epilogues dealt with this as well, when John was really in the shits with it and started to believe Roxy’s whole personality was somehow fake and his own construction, because he convinced himself Roxy would never choose to do the things she did, but Roxy was able to snap him out of it and make him understand and respect it was her own choices that led down his path, not the idea that John’s choices are somehow overriding everyones

But man, John sure is riding that Breath train way too hard, and he keeps snapping back into it as well

Further and Further

#Homesquared #Homestuck^2 #Homestuck #John Egbert #Karkat Vantas #dissociation

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 275: YAAAAY but Also AHHHHH

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor was all “I’M FIGHTING TOMURA AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME” and set everything on fire. Unlike SOME people, however, it turns out fire is NOT Tomura’s weakness, so he basically just shrugged it off. But before things could progress any further, AFO was all “psst, go get One for All” and Tomura was all “? One for All?” and Endeavor was all “?? One for All?” and Deku and Kacchan, who were listening in on their earpieces, were all “!!!” Having thus realized that Tomura was targeting him, Deku sped off to lead him somewhere away from the civilians... accompanied by his good friend Bakugou “274 chapters of character development have all been leading up to this” Katsuki. Because like hell are you going to have an EPIC BATTLE with the FINAL VILLAIN without him, you damn nerd. Who’s he going to heroically sacrifice himself for if you’re not there?? Hahh!?

Today on BnHA: Deku and Kacchan fly off to battle Tomura after confusing Endeavor into giving them his location (which wasn’t very hard lmao). En route, Deku finally thinks to ask Kacchan why he’s tagging along, and Kacchan is all “DON’T GET ME WRONG, IT’S JUST BECAUSE I WANT REVENGE ON TOMURA, AND DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU AT ALL, HOW DARE YOU, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT”, which is super convincing and didn’t make me roll my eyes at all. Anyways so then Tomura shows up and is all “EYO TIME TO KILL YOU NOW” and Deku and Kacchan are all “OH SFFKDFK”, but fortunately Gran shows up to save them in the nick of time, because BnHA is literally the only shounen manga in which grown-ups will see kids trying to lead a battle and be like “lol wtf” and actually try to stop that shit instead of being all “what are your orders, children.” The chapter then ends with the heroes doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY SHOULD BE DOING??Namely, having the guy who can TURN OFF QUIRKS battle the guy with the ultimate death quirk! I’m so proud. But also I swear to god, if Tomura so much as breathes suspiciously in his direction...!! What the fuck. HORIKOSHI.

y’all what in the fresh hell is this bs

not yet there isn’t son but if you keep trolling like this I can give your nervous system something to actually be nervous about

anyway. this was his comment from last week’s issue of Jump, and I have absolutely no idea what it’s referring to, is the fun part! did he cry because of something he was working on in a chapter that’s coming up? or is he just tired from a combination of stressful mangaka schedule + 2020 in general?? or hell, for all I know he just recently watched Titanic or some shit

(ETA: KILLING AIZAWA SHOUTA WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE CRY OUT OF JOY, THOUGH. RIGHT?!)

anyways I guess it’s time to read and see if I feel like sadly happily crying for two hours afterward

-- oh shit I just realized there are two scanlations out for this?? one from readjump.com, and one from readheroacademia.com. lol now what. uhhh

lulzes. I guess I’ll go with RHA for now and keep checking back to RJ after each page and I’ll go with whichever translation I liked better

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MILLENNIAL VILLAIN

or would he actually be gen z. he was already in his twenties when this manga started like six years ago, so I’m going with millennial. but on the cusp though I guess. anyway, he plays video games though is the point

and I see he’s already decided to contradict me and my inane speculations not two panels in! I GUESS I AM JUST A FOOL. that’s really interesting though. I wonder if it’s just Monoma’s quirk that doesn’t take the accumulated “save data” from the people he copies from, then? guh. how many of my AFO/OFA theory notes do I have to scrap now

and there’s a little quirk blurb about Search, which is fairly useless given that we already know how it works (actually in even greater detail than shown here), but at least it comes with a cute little picture of Ragdoll in her hero costume, to make us all sad and stuff

so anyways Tomura who are you looking at?? this was a topic of some contention last week! also why were you only seeing nine people then. Ragdoll had seen everyone in 1-A along with Aizawa and her fellow Pussycats at a minimum, so is this confirmation that Tora and Mandalay and Pixie-Bob are all really dead then, because I CAN AND WILL HUNT DOWN A MAN AND MAKE HIM CRY FOR A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN TWO HOURS IF THAT’S REALLY THE CASE. was Kouta not traumatized enough already?? LET’S JUST ORPHAN HIM AGAIN WHY NOT THAT’S A GOOD PLAN

(ETA: I really hate that we are still up in the air regarding this? and I mean, sure, why not, we only had like a dozen lady heroes to begin with, so why not just kill off two more of them, offscreen, in one fell swoop??)

WHAT IS A SHAME. TOMURA. DAMN IT

(ETA: ??)

-- well hello there

OR MAYBE I WAS NOT A FOOL AT ALL?? lol guys. please do not tell me my hobo husband is flying his vengeful ass over to where Tomura all heedless of the danger because I really do not need that just yet. CAN MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS PLEASE FUCKING TAKE TURNS BEING IN TERRIBLE DANGER INSTEAD OF ALL AT ONCE

sob we’re cutting back to Endeavor and Deku and Kacchan. ACTUALLY THAT’S GOOD THOUGH why am I complaining. I’m just gonna have to get used to the fact that no one is going to truly be safe for the next god knows however many chapters, and make my peace with that. hahaha. yeah right

lmao Deku. “HEY WHAT’S UP, ME AND MY FELLOW CHILD HERE ARE GONNA LURE SHIGARAKI TOWARDS US, BUT WE’LL EXPLAIN OUR REASONS FOR THAT LATER. IF YOU SEE HIM MAKING ANY SUDDEN MOVEMENTS PLEASE INFORM US SO AS TO AID US IN THIS PLAN.” Endeavor if you just go along with this I will lose so much respect for you lmao

lol he is trying to argue a bit but then he’s suddenly cutting off. so in hindsight I don’t know why I said “lol”, really. I’M JUST NERVOUS OKAY

btw in the other translation Deku straight up asks if Endeavor can redirect Tomura towards them. “sure no problem bucko, let me just tell the walking apocalypse exactly where he can find you, my two sixteen-year-old interns whose safety I am responsible for. I was just thinking to myself that I hadn’t had my fill of crazy ill-thought-out plans with a high risk of death today”

holy --

okay I have not the SLIGHTEST clue what’s going on here, even after analyzing both scans, except that someone, probably Tomura, either just went CRONCH or just GOT cronched just now lmao. let us read on to find out who was cronched and who did the cronching

the rest of this page is not really much more helpful

but I am becoming increasingly suspicious that those were in fact Tomura’s new, improved and ridiculously thicc legs doing the cronching as he did a Marvel Superhero Landing from the most RIDICULOUS ANGLE POSSIBLE

LMAO NOW WHAT

so he just cronched onto the ground and fooshed Endeavor and then went flying off again huh

LMAO AT EVERYTHINNNNNG

THANK YOU ENJI. HE’LL LURE HIM AWAY. lols WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL THEM WHICH WAY HE WAS HEADED YOU BOOB

he really just fucking hung up on him afterwards too. just, “got it thanks amigo just leave everything to me, [CLICK]”

OH MY GOD

BECAUSE WE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE CONVENIENTLY INTERFERING WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR LITTLE THROWDOWN OF DESTINY HUH. THAT WOULD JUST BE TERRIBLE

-- oh shit

that’s just. a SLIGHT change in meaning, there. silly me. thinking “get rid of them” meant “get rid of their communications as opposed to FUCKING KILLING THE ONE YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY AFTER. hmm. well that’s not good

(ETA: never have I been so happy that a translation was wrong lmao.)

so now Endeavor’s shouting at everyone else that Tomura is heading southwest and that he has “SUPER REGENARTION” (sic) and is no longer THE SAME THUG HE WAS BEFORE and yeah RHA you have officially won me over, flaws and all. listen up boyos. this ain’t your granddaddy’s Shigaraki Tomura. this one regenars

also “that damn kid...” like why the hell did my son have to go and befriend two protagonists. why is this my life now

AHAHAHAHA

“MIDORIYA IS IN DANGER...!!” STORY OF THIS MANGA. AHAHA. KACCHAN HE’S COMING. HE’S COMING, KACCHAN. for you two. someone please help me I am both terrified and thrilled beyond all recognition and my body doesn’t know how to handle the conflicting emotions. honestly crying for two hours is starting to sound more and more appealing

oh my god I forgot they didn’t know, though

fff. Kacchan especially didn’t know, because unlike Deku he doesn’t have random bits of other people’s souls going “heyyyyyyy... transcendent being at 12 o’clock.” what has this kid so bravely and stupidly gone and gotten himself into

look at them go

damn Deku can you really not float yet?? that’s going to be really inconvenient if that’s the case

(ETA: my boy really would have just straight up died. he would have died so hard.)

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU WANT TO ASK HIM LMAOOOO. well it’s because of all the character development!! if you must know

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER BLASTY MCANGERTY

you’re not as smooth as you think you are, you know. we all know why you actually followed him. but fine, be that way

okay so now he’s giving a real-er answer though

“understand the situation”, the situation being that your best friend and his secret-trump-card-in-the-battle-against-evil quirk were being targeted by the guy who just obliterated this entire city. got it. you put it quite succinctly

and Deku is all

and Kacchan is all

love how he throws that protagonist crack in there too. because we all know that Deku absolutely is the protagonist lol, and so if that part’s obviously not true, we can make some inferences about the rest of what he’s saying too now can’t we

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap

YOU SURE DO!! and he does with you too!! :) it’s gonna be one big happy reunion! :) :) :) oh gosh golly

OH NO KATSUKI WHAT ARE YOU DOING

what are you doing to me, I should clarify. please be considerate of my feelings. you can’t just DUMP sudden Kacchan Kamino Angst on me without any warning, you have to let me know in advance so that I can buy some thank you cards

THERE’S MOREEEEE???

YOU REMEMBER TOO, DON’T YOU DEKU. HE WAS ALL CRYING AND STUFF. IT WAS A LOT. IT’S POSSIBLE THAT I HAVE NEVER PERSONALLY GOTTEN OVER IT

AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE NEVER QUITE GOT OVER IT EITHER

:’)

by the way in the other translation he says “I’ll make up for what I did that day.” so yeah. BOOM. right to the heart. shot of me collapsing to the ground in slow motion

but it’s interesting though that he still can’t admit to having selfless motives yet! even after everything he’s been through and all his character growth! he’s still all GET RID OF THE REFERENCES TO ME CARING ABOUT YOU, WE CAN’T LET PEOPLE KNOW WE HAVE FEELINGS

but even his Kamino feels are notably first and foremost about him feeling responsible for failing All Might. so yeah, buddy. where does that leave you? even your feeble excuses are still rooted in selflessness, JUST GIVE IN AND ADMIT YOU’VE BEEN SECRETLY GIVING A SHIT BEHIND EVERYONE’S BACK. and honestly he might be better off at this point if he didn’t! BUT HE DOES. and that’s that

anyways Deku I sure hope you and your big hero brain can see right through this nonsense

god. you’re both in so much danger though, do you even have any idea?! of course you fucking don’t. god

HELLO BAKUGOU NARRATION!?!

well that’s one hell of a rare sight!! all fresh and chock full of shrewd observations about his best rival’s current skillset. ah what a time we’re living in

ooooh

gonna hold off commentary until I read the next part of this lol

OOOOOH

goddamn. Horikoshi really went off this week. just a whole chapter’s worth of Stuff Makeste Really Likes, goddamn is it my birthday or what

so do you guys think he’ll be able to keep pace all the way up to 100%? I can see this part being interpreted in two totally different ways if I’m being honest. on the one hand we have the more pessimistic (some would say realistic) view that Bakugou is desperately trying to convince himself that he’s still on the same level as the rival he so desperately wants to surpass, but with the sinking feeling that he’s actually not going to be able to keep up for much longer. and then on the other side of the coin we have the more glass-half-full perspective that he actually is capable of keeping up with him right to the bitter end. that even as Deku grows stronger, he’ll continue to push himself and use that as motivation to keep getting stronger too. that Deku isn’t out of reach; that his goal isn’t out of reach

and I’m not completely sure which way this is leaning myself! I personally would like to lean more towards the second interpretation, because y’all know I love me some rivals. and also because imo one of the most commendable things about Bakugou’s development has been how he hasn’t once been envious of Deku’s strength or of his position as All Might’s chosen heir since he learned about OFA. he hasn’t once shown any kind of resentment towards him for it, or doubted whether or not he deserves it. and as minor a detail as that may seem to some people, I cherish it. and I don’t want that to change! but I guess we shall see

so now we’re getting the clearest shot we’ve had yet of the new AFO holes in Tomura’s palms as he gets ready to combine some more quirks. also! more information about the quirks he has and is using! fucking thank you, where was this last week

so “radio waves” is clearly going to be used here to disrupt the heroes’ communication, which is a shame for them, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved given the alternative! the RJ translation is clearly just a hot mess lol. but I still adore that one “I’ll make up for what I did” line though

WOW

THE DISRESPECT. LOL DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HIS ASS

(ETA: I just realized he’s nowhere to be found after this, though, so... did he?? or is he now lying somewhere now all wounded and waiting to be found by one, or, dare I say, two of his sons? ...)

LKDFJLSDKGHOSIDGHOISDflkwejfdfsdklggdflgnfdlgndakgalkgldfdfkwlfwiowelKLDSGKSL:DKGJL:DKFM?G?SGSDLKG?SDFSDF??LKJ@L!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

even if you ask him nicely??! somehow I just can’t help feeling that he probably shouldn’t oblige you, though!?!?!

anyways. THAT AIN’T SAFE. and what the hell is happening in that bottom left corner ahhhhhh

AHHHHHHH

GRAN DM ME YOUR ADDRESS I WANT TO SEND YOU SOME FLOWERS AND A BASKET OF FRUIT AND CRACKERS AND SOME LITTLE CHEESES AND SAUSAGES

jesus christ it completely slipped my mind that there was one other person currently in the vicinity who knows about OFA. my good sir, maybe you would like to introduce these two dunderfucks to the concept of a “plan.” and maybe you can also find the single shared braincell they apparently dropped and lost somewhere back there in all the city rubble

oh fuck me

(ETA: does Kacchan look so rattled here because he is being lectured, or because he just saw a vision of his own death and is now having it explained to him just how close he came to being decomposed. you decide! I’ll just sit here and bask in the angst.)

fuck. main character gods were really working overtime here. anyways so how are you all doing this fine Friday afternoon. me, I’m just sitting here wrangling with the knowledge that Tomura’s quirk is even deadlier than I realized, and that my two little boys came within inches of dying horrible deaths just now. but anyways it’s not as humid today as it was yesterday so that’s really nice

anyways so now Gran is continuing to lecture the mayor of Dumb Ideas Town here, along with his friend the deputy mayor who still thinks he outranks the actual mayor

SHH NOW AND LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDPA

-- ohhhh shit son are they mounting a counterattack?? don’t tell me!!

also is Gran seriously faster than Tomura. that makes no fucking sense, and yet these two are only alive now because of it so I’M SURE NOT GONNA QUESTION IT

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

AND IS AIZAWA ON HER BACK THOUGH???

AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

AH, BUT IT AIN’T GONNA WORK THOUGH, IS IT!!! AHAHAHA YESSSSSS

excellent question sir. the short answer is “they’re idiots”, and the long answer is just a longer version of “they’re idiots” but with some more complicated BakuDeku feels mixed in. I’ll tell you all about it if you just promise me that you’ll actually live through this, all right?

“is he after the two of them?” listen boy if you don’t finally put two and two together after this I’m gonna be fucking beside myself lol. (though honestly, Deku and Kacchan have been targeted by the League so many other times already that he might just simply accept “yeah they’re after them again” without any further explanation)

my dear gentlefolk would you fucking look at how the lord has blessed us on this day

Aizawa Fucking Shouta and the motherfucking dramatic intro to end all dramatic intros. finally this man gets his moment

someone please teach me how to cast a force field. teach me how to reach into the manga and slap this man and tell him to stop talking about how everyone’s noble sacrifices to protect him and his eraser quirk have led him to this day and to this one encounter. my guy. my fucking dude. THERE HAD BETTER BE SUBSEQUENT ENCOUNTERS AFTER THIS

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

ISN’T HE THOUGH??? Tomura I love you sweetie but you better BACK THE FUCK. OFF

well FINE THEN! BE THAT WAY. it’s not like my life revolves around you and your stupid manga anyway!! it’s not like I’m obsessed with it or anything!! I have other hobbies!! well I actually do have other hobbies, so that doesn’t really work as sarcasm, so let’s see though. maybe something more like, “this isn’t by far my favorite out of all my hobbies!!” I don’t spend 80-90% of my free time on any given day either actively or passively daydreaming about this series and writing essays in my head and reading fanfic and scrolling through art on tumblr!! etc.!! whatever!! enjoy your break!! have fun living your life!!

please don’t kill Aizawa

#bnha 275 #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #shigaraki tomura #aizawa shouta #endeavor #gran torino #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #well then #now that I have 'fixed' this post and am playing by tumblr's rules #I wonder if it's too late to get it unhidden from the tag search :/

[onlytaylor]

That time during the Battle of Hogwarts when Draco almost died in the Room of Requirement but kissed Harry Potter instead

Draco Malfoy limps. He fucking drags his leg behind him, pushing forward and sacrificing every ounce of repituity while doing so.

It was the fucking snake. Nagini, the one who’d lived with them for months at Malfoy Manor. The one who the Dark Lord had fed numerous times in front of his followers, Draco chewing his cheek with silent opposition.

And now, it had bit him right in the arse. Just a bit lower in all technicality, but Draco didn’t care. He just wanted solace.

He hadn’t meant to show the slightest reluctance to the Dark Lord’s plan to invade the school. To “catch Potter once and for all” as soon as his presence had been identified. Forgive him- Draco loved Hogwarts. It was the only place he’d ever felt (and he’d kill you if you knew this) home. At school, he had his friends. He had games of exploding snap and good-willed jabs between housemates and witty banter. He had Potter to annihalate with sarcastic comebacks and the like. It all gave him fuel; a sense of purpose.

Now, that fuel had been ignited by dark magic and curses that set the turrets on fire. Creatures ran rampant, killing those in their wake. Some of the braver students had stuck around and threw counter-spells from behind posts and make-shift debris walls. In the midst of it all, Draco limps.

He pulls his leg to the Room of Requirement, where he knows Potter will be. He’s known him far too long to guess his motives. His plans were like clockwork, a rhythmic and predictable rouse. Or maybe, Draco was just that keen at sensing his thoughts and ideas.

He doesn’t have a lot of time; he’s figured that much out. Even if he manages to outrun Voldemort, the poison will still inevitably travel through his circulatory system. He’s already broken into a cold sweat as he approaches his destination.

Potter’s already there, rummaging through stacks of decade old-belongings that only the Room of Hidden Things would hold. He’s clearly searching for something.

“Malfoy.” He starts, pointing his wand at Draco’s chest. He’s alone, and the silence that ensues is almost unsettling. But this time, Draco doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care that he’s spent the last 7 years arguing with this boy. He doesn’t give a flying fuck that he’s on the dead end of his wand. He’s dying, and he doesn’t bother with small details.

He focuses instead on the vibrancy of his stare, the way his green eyes cut through him like no one else ever could. The soft patches of dirt that bespeckle his face and hands from battle. The beads of sweat that slowly trickle down the side of his neck, reflecting his urgency.

“I don’t have time for games right now!” He shouts, eyes darting around the room for his lost object while his wand remains steady. They then come to rest on his form, his bloody and pathetic lower half that trails lifelessly behind him.

“Wait, Malfoy- you’re- you’re hurt.”

Draco doesn’t respond. He tells himself his hard swallow is the effect of the snake venom, but he knows it’s a lie. It’s always been.

The caring tone to Potter’s voice, the way he lowers his wand and rushes to inspect him regardless of his mission is enough to push him over the edge. To ignite that same fire deep within his belly, blazing wild and free.

“What happened?” Potter is close, too close, and Draco finds it hard to catch his breath. That’s what happens when you’re dying, right?

“Fucking snake,” is all he manages to squeak, and suddenly he’s light headed. He slides downward to the floor, and Potter, against all odds, reaches to catch him.

Now they’re both on the ground, Draco panting and Potter pointing his wand at the wound. “Reinervate!” He commands, but nothing happens.

Again, louder. “Reinervate!”

“It’s fine, Potter. Don’t waste your time on me. You’ve got bigger fish to fry.” He smirks, and this is all too real. Potter’s caring for him. It’s nice and warm. Peaceful.

“Fuck, Malfoy, when did you become such a selfless git?” He’s smiling, and Draco chuckles. It’s a beautiful truce, winding and weaving Draco whole.

“When you decided to save the world, I guess.” Living Draco Malfoy would never be so vulnerable, allowing the sharp silence to fill the air between them. He’d scoff, or roll his eyes before running infinitely in the opposite direction. Dying Draco, however, was a fucking sap. He refused to deny himself what he’d been missing, buried upon layers of mistakes and bad decisions. Potter draws in a sharp inspiration before settling into Draco’s gaze.

“Why didn’t you tell them? Bellatrix- you knew it was me. You knew it was me, and you didn’t say anything...”

Draco laughs softly. “Because, you idiot, it was always you. Always fucking you. And I fucked up; I ruined my chance to be good. But you... you are what good aspires to be. And I hate that about you, I always have.” He pauses, grinning and shaking his head at his own stupidity. “But it’s what makes you Saint Potter, and you deserve every piece of it.”

Potter’s mouth drops into the finest of “O’s,” and Draco can’t help but stare at the plump crimson of his lower lip.

“Malfoy- Draco- what the fuck,” he whispers, and it’s not a question, but a foretelling. His voice is raspy; he swallows hard against a dry throat. His eyes are reflective pools of the past seven years, memories dancing across his irises as he realizes the implication of Draco’s words. He licks his lips, studying the boy before him. The boy that was wholesome and selfless and good despite all previous notion.

Before he can answer, Draco points upward. “Potter, look,” He states, his hazy vision landing on the most peculiar glint of sapphire. “It’s a diadem. Isn’t it pretty?”

“It’s a-“ Harry turns suddenly, whipping toward the direction of Draco’s gesture. Sure enough, there, propped against a dusty old mannequin atop a mound of antiquities, was exactly what he’d been looking for.

His face lights up, cheeks a rosy pink as they’re pulled taut. “Draco, you fucking prat, you found it! You-“

He jolts back to look at him, but his lids have come to a gentle close. His chest rises and falls in a shallow rhythm, and Harry notices the amount of blood that’s pooled around them.

“Draco, no! Fuck!” He glances around, desperate for some sort of answer, before deciding to cup Draco’s face in his hands.

“You can’t go and do this now, you wanker! Not when you just told me how you feel! Draco, please, please-“ he Grips for dear life, but Draco’s face is cool to the touch.

His stomach clenches. How has everything he’d known to be true flipped in just a matter of minutes? How did he end up here, begging his arch nemesis to be alive?

He runs a hand along the edge of Draco’s jaw, and he stirs a bit. His fingers glide lower, down the soft plane of his neck and collarbone. Draco shivers. Potter laughs.

“You like that, don’t you?” He smiles, playfully amused as he trails a path down Draco’s chest. The caress is heaven, and in his semiconscious state Draco feels whole. Green eyes flicker down to his lips, pale but smooth despite his current state. Harry knows this is it, and it’s all or nothing. There is no longer right and wrong; light or darkness. It’s only Draco, and himself, and everything that he’d thought he’d known to be true snowing gently in broken bits all around them.

He bites his lip, making a characteristically Harry decision- a rash, exuberant, intuition-driven thought that just feels right. And as he leans forward, closing the gap between them, he knows there’s no going back.

He’s going to get them out of here. Destroy the diadem. And- Goddamnit- Draco is going to get another chance.

Draco’s eyes fly open as Harry presses their lips into a soft embrace. It’s as if kissing fucking Harry Potter causes more of a shock to his system than the venom coursing through his veins, and suddenly he’s wide awake.

His hands are tingling; he’s nauseous; the room is spinning. And absolutely no part of that has to do with the injury to his leg.

Draco relaxes; allows himself to succumb to the warmth that spreads throughout his body. God, Nothing had ever felt like this before. If this was the type of reprieve that dying got him, then by golly-

Harry pulls away suddenly, and the absence is heavily vacant upon his lips. His stomach twinges as Harry snaps upward. It is all too evident that they are no longer alone.

“Potter! I fucking found you! You’re dead!” The voice belongs to Crabbe, and Draco is just coherent enough to make out his figure. He’s accompanied by Goyle, waving his wand about, attempting haphazardly to bring about some type of spell. Draco raises a weak hand to protest, but flames are already shooting from the tip of his wand toward a pile of rubbish beside them.

“Fu-fucking fiendfyre,” he whispers, and realization dawns on Harry as he realizes what Draco’s said. Crabbe wasn’t joking. They needed to get the diadem and get the fuck out of there.

In the nick of time, the door opens to reveal Weasley and Granger, who immediately hurl spells at Draco’s childhood friends. The robotic henchmen that he’s realized were no more loyal to him than his own father. They were blind, the lot of them, sightlessly following orders from the Dark Lord. Draco dodges, protecting his face from the fallout. Magic sparks the air, and an urgency radiates between all parties as Crabbe’s flames begin to violently spread.

Harry squeezes his hand before jetting forward, climbing the Mound of Things to retrieve the diadem. Crabbe and Goyle are distracted momentarily by the fire, which has formed the shape of a large serpent and seems to be forming ideas by its own volition.

Ron Weasley stares with his mouth open as the snake rears it’s head, and even Crabbe seems surprised at his own doing. Hermione, in a fit of logic, grasps his hand and pulls him from the direct path of the flames as the serpent strikes.

Harry’s tumbling, struggling to find hand-holds in the pile as things get heated. He’s almost to the diadem, and Draco is silently willing his thoughts to persuade his victory. He can hardly move, and in the midst of chaos he notices that his leg is tingling.

In the next moment, several things seem to happen simultaneously. Harry suddenly grabs the diadem. Ron and Hermione have summoned brooms and are hastily mounting their only means of escape. Crabbe and Goyle back away, terrified, as the snake turns on its master and slithers toward them. Draco observes it all, shaking slightly as his muscles contract involuntarily. His leg, it’s burning, and it’s as if the more the flames travel from object to object the more consuming the pain becomes.

Ron and Hermione are ascending rapidly toward Harry. The flames are climbing higher, ignited on old parchment rolls and other treasures from previous students. Harry is pulled onto Ron’s broomstick as he steers to the exit.

Harry screams objections, yelling at his friend to turn the broom around. Draco’s stomach lurches at the sentiment, but he knows it’s over for him.

The serpent’s attention is diverted to the trio as they halt and sharply turn backward. Weasley’s grumbling is barely audible above the high-pitched whine of the fire, and Draco begins to cough as smoke chokes the air.

The snake strikes, and a shower of flames lands around him. His leg, it’s on fire, it’s on fucking fire...

The pain intensifies. He’s going to pass out soon, he’s sure. His flesh is screaming, but all he can vocalize is a string of choked coughs. His throat is raw, but it’s nothing, nothing compared to the bite of that fucking snake...

He’s barely conscious, but he feels a tugging sensation on his limbs. And then he’s weightless, like he’s riding on air. The pain, it’s lessening. He must be close to death...

Harry. He thinks of that kiss, the one that forever erased the line between good and evil. How ironically it was the most alive he’d ever felt. And how if heaven was real, and if Draco Malfoy was lucky enough to end up there, he’d spend an eternity reveling in that one moment.

He allows his thoughts to consume him, until his leg is painless. He’s floating, flying... until he’s not.

He feels himself fall, tumbling forward, and then the slam of the floor against his chest brings him back to reality. His eyes flash open, miraculously, to find that he’s facing the entrance to the Room of Requirement. The door is closing, and there’s a serpent, and the room is engulfed in flames...

But as it seals shut, he’s left in the silence that he suddenly realizes is indicative of his safety. Next to him is Granger, pulling Ron to a standing position. On his other side is Harry, fucking Harry...

He’s lifting himself from the floor and begins running straight toward Draco, bruised and splattered with soot. Before he can open his mouth to speak, Harry’s arms are thrown around him.

“Your leg, Draco! How is it?” He pants, pulling away slightly to examine the wound.

But it’s vanished.

Draco’s mouth falls inexplicably, and he’s unable to make sense of anything that’s happened in the past ten minutes.

He gapes stupidly, breath heading as he grasps the fact that he’s suddenly fucking alive and his leg doesn’t hurt and there’s no bite. And Harry fucking Potter is still holding him, and it’s so much that he can’t handle it.

Overwhelmed with emotion, he stares at Potter, who’s a fucking light at the end of the incessant, winding tunnel that’s been his life the past few years. He becomes lost in the details of his face, cheeks flushed crimson with adventure and green eyes peering from behind glasses that were probably permanently crooked by now. He pulls his lip between his teeth as he too contemplates what happened.

“Fiendfyre.” Granger’s voice pierces the quiet confusion. “It’s a dark enough spell to destroy a horcrux. That’s why when you dropped the diadem, Harry, it disentigrated.”

“Oh my God, Hermione, Nagini is-“

“A horcrux.” She finished, and Draco glanced between them. Ron’s eyes were glazed over, and for the first time in his life Draco Malfoy felt he could relate. The logistics of it all quickly faded however as Harry’s eyes positively brightened.

“Draco, I don’t know fucking how, but when the fiendfyre caught your leg... it must have reversed the effects of the snake bite.” He’s smiling, a wide, wholesome grin, and Draco finally catches his breath.

“I’m- I’m not dying,” he declares, more to himself than anyone else, and Harry’s still beaming as he presses a continuation of their earlier kiss to his lips. It’s war, but in this brief moment, they’re fucking happy, and that’s all that matters.

“You know, I’m not dying, Hermione,” Ron tries with a helpless shrug, and she blushes before slapping his arm.

“Come on, boys,” she says determinedly to them all, “we’ve got a war to win.”

#drarry #draco malfoy x harry potter #draco x harry #drarry fanfiction #draco malfoy #harry potter #romione #ron weasley x hermione granger #ron weasley #hermione granger #vincent crabbe #gregory goyle #room of requirement #harry potter and the deathly hallows #battle of hogwarts #nagini #the redemption arc draco malfoy deserved

[whole-lotta-hoes]

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

#led zeppelin #robert plant #jimmy page #john paul jones #john bonham #cursed post #cursed content #crack fanfic #fanfic #led zeppelin fanfic