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m3r1m4r5u333 · 23 days

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Look. I'm fucking done here.

I'm fucking furious. I've had ENOUGH of people shit talking Kristen Reidel for being "antibuddie".

Newsflash you imbecils, it's OBVIOUSLY blatantly untrue!! She's been here for us, from the very start, to lay out the foundation for queer Buck and Eddie. She's written, directed and been the executive producer for some of the most monumental buddie moments!!

Maybe take a moment to understand that these shows are huge and one person does not have all the say for how things work out. These people do not work in isolation, doing whatever they like!

Let's remember that the show used be on Fox, which is arguably one of the most conservative networks there are!!!

The show already had several main queer characters and romances when Eddie's character entered the show in season 2. We also know that the main target audience is fairly tradional, and the show is freaking expensive to make without a huge profit in return. We KNOW it has repeatedly struggled to get renewed due to that.

Let's remember that creating a show like this is not an existence of stress-free creative indulgence - you are actually responsible for HUNDREDS of jobs! The show's survival! People's income! The crew isn't just a couple of known actors, it's also everyone else making the show, and these productions are HUGE. It's so many families income at stake.

So WAKE UP and realise what they've been against, creating this show.

I'm like obnoxiously queer but even I would get nervous at the idea of similtaneously airing several queer ships on a show about emergency responders, on freaking Fox!

Seriously, just stop to think. What if they had gone for blatant buddie early on?

The show would have had to juggle... let's do some math...

Hen, Karen, and Eva being queer and raising a rainbow family,

Michael's coming out storyline, then his and David's romance, Josh being very much gay and dating men... Add to that Buck and Eddie, and that's MANY prominent queer characters, story arcs and romances trying to compete for air time... ON FOX, in a show about firefighters!

The risk of the the largely conservative, homophobic audience on a conservative channel going "it's too much" and abandoning the show was REAL, don't you pretend otherwise.

Sure, there are other less easily intimidated audiences, but how would they know if the leap into the unknown would pay off?

I think in those circumstances they made a very sensible decision to focus on the other queer characters anf storylines first.

Again, it's hundreds of people's incomes at stake!!! There must have been people, funders, bosses voting against adding more blatantly queer storylines to the current situation because it was just not the right time.

So Kristel Reid was CAUTIOUS when she gave interviews. Remember, the future of the show has been uncertain from the start with how expensive it is to make!!

She did not want to give false hope to the viewers hoping for buddie come true. She did not want to be accused of queerbaiting. She very sensibly made sure to appear neutral about buddie, and give the UNTRUE impression that her head canon is that meh, they're just straight friends to her.

Quite frankly folks... NEVER PLAY POKER WITH THIS WOMAN, I think she'd eat you in a minute!!

She LIED. Fucking absorb that information. Breathe it in! You can do it! She's been obviously rooting for Buddie to happen for AGES.

Why do I say this?

Well here's my fucking powerpoiny about it!!! Read this and take a minute to consider her innocent "oh they're the very bestest of friends"-front against her actual work on the show!!

She WROTE 5x18, you know, with Ravi's line to Hen:

"I think it's sweet that Karen was defending you. I mean, isn't that what we all want in a partner, knowing they have your back?"

She's no spring chicken, she wrote this fully knowing the memory we buddie shippers possess!!!

She WROTE the scene in which Eddie comforts Buck at the hospital after Maddie's kidnapping.

She WROTE 3x01, that's the scene in which Eddie bursts into Buck's apartment when Buck's feeling down and has Chris hang out with "his Buck".

She co-wrote Eddie's disgusted reaction to meeting Abby, she co-wrote Buck hearing that Chris is going on a two-week school trip and freaking out like a mother hen,

She WROTE freaking 4x14 - You know, the episode SURVIVORS, in which Eddie is shot by a sniper!! In the queerest way possible!!

She WROTE Desperate measures, you know - the episode in which Eddie breaks up with Ana, freaking oozing repressed queer subtext all over the place!!

Have you even watched the talk Buck and Eddie have before the breakup?!!! It's INSANE.

---

Buck: Ah. I thought you'd be the first one out the door. Christopher know you're coming?

Eddie: Not yet. I haven't figured out what I'm going to say when I get home. To Ana.

---

Try telling me that "door" isn't the door of a closet, I challenge you!!

She freaking co-wrote 5x17!!! The META of Taylor, in 5x17 "promising" she won't "run the story", and then breaking that promise.

That same episode has Eddie visiting his home btw, and paints a very illuminative picture of the environment Eddie grew up in - it practically spells toxic masculinity, compulsory heterosexuality, catholic guilt. Really, that episode basically screams "This is why Eddie is such a repressed onion."

THAT episode also has THAT insane closet door scene, Eddie opening a closet door as Buck says:

Buck: You know, your parents will understand!

Eddie turns to stare at him.

Buck: ...They should understand. *Plays with a toy dinosaur as he's talking, and pretends it bites his finger.*

... And again, after that episode she wrote 5x18, the one with "Isn't that what we all want in a partner, knowing they have your back?"

An obvious parallel to Buck and Eddie meeting and promising to have each other's backs!!!

....

Seriously, Kristel Reidel has had our back from the very beginning and I'm fed up with people talking shit about her!! I think it's no coincidence that one of the emergencies she wrote was "someone stuck in a freezer", that's fucking meta. I bet she's wanted to fucking hit the pedal but she's been forced to bide her time, and it's been fucking agony at times.

And don't even get me started on Tim fucking Minear, who people have ALSO shit talked because "hE jUst liKes tO QuEerBait".

BE FUCKING GRATEFUL FOR KRISTEN REIDEL, YOU utter... *censored*.

BE GRATEFUL FOR TIM MINEAR. They are our freaking GOATS and they deserve our love!!!

Edit. After reading up some more about the power structures of media networks like these... I would really not be surprised if it turned out that the people running this show (such as Reidel and Minear, the people listed next to the episodes) have had even less say on what sort of stories they get to do than I've thought.

After all, these people we fans focus on and know by name... They're really not nearly as influential as we think. There are still plenty of big chiefs higher up in the food chain. I've heard some vague rumours before that the network has meddled with the show's creative decisions a lot in these past years, and would not be surprised if it was true.

#kristen reidel #tim minear #911 on abc #buddie #911 buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie 911 #evan buck buckley #911 abc #eddie díaz #DONE WITH THIS SHITTALK!!!

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velvet-vexations · 4 days

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So, like, what I got from this episode is primarily that Kipperlilly Copperkettle has never done anything wrong in her life.

Okay, let me rephrase that.

Yes, she's the villain doing villainous things that she shouldn't. But "she's jealous of tragic backstories" is not as absurd as it would be in the real world because, like, that is actually how Spyre works. Everyone laughs at "oh she's mad she's an NPC" but actually literally think about what that would be like, especially when you go to a school where the goal is to be a main character. It would be infuriating to constantly have the world revolve around a cast that does not include you.

Like, everyone knows how annoying it is when someone you play D&D with has Main Character Syndrome. Now imagine if that were real life and their MCS was cosmically vindicated over and over. I was slightly annoyed with how much stuff this season happened to connect to the Bad Kids this season, but now it seems like either that was all intentional or an incredibly thematic coincidence. Like, imagine that MCS scenario and even when you try to kill them you can't help but accidentally trip into a bunch of their bullshit. It's truly impossible to even begin to understand how the pressure of that situation would wear on someone's sanity because the real world simply doesn't work like that.

Also, let's be clear about something: She is 100% unironically completely factually correct about Kristen's campaign. She started it literally just to spite Kipperlilly. Because she had a slightly off-putting energy during their first meeting. In which Kristen and the others said all this and how much they disliked her right in front of her like she wasn't even there. Kristen gave a speech to a steel mill and got her head clipped by a buzzsaw for the sake of bullying Kipperlilly long before they had any reason to suspect she was up to something.

So I feel vindicated in Kipperlilly having a good reason for slipping off the slippery slope and that she has a legitimate grievance. And I'd say, "but she shouldn't be mad at the Bad Kids for it", but again, they were legitimately horrible to her so even if you shouldn't respond to being rude with murder there's hardly much incentive to not be mad at them personally in the course of raging against the universe being structured around them.

But most people will just see it as "she's mad she's boring" so I, like the mythological Cassandra, will continue to be an unheeded prophet.

#dimension 20 #kipperlilly copperkettle

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buckttommy · 2 months

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also not to be messy but i've long felt there's a lot of people in this fandom who don't want to reckon with the fact that buck is a popular character OUTSIDE of our fandom bubble. like they act like fandom space is an anomaly as to how popular he is and that's just not true. (not saying he's the most popular or antyhing)

now is that because americans still love and elevate the cute white boys? unfortunately, yes. but that's the way it is.

I don't think that's messy, it's true. Buck is The White Boy. Oliver is The White Boy. Every fandom, every show, every movie, every book has one. It's no one's fault, it's just how it is, just what sells. He's cute, he's emotional, he's attractive (to most people) — *shrugs* he's going to be a presence in the show. More than that, we should want him to be a presence in the show because 9-1-1 isn't 9-1-1 without him.

Yes, Season 6 was pretty Buck heavy (though not nearly as Buck-centric as people think. Some of you are due for a rewatch but you won't because you didn't like the season as it was airing so you've sworn it off for good and that's going to be goddamn unpleasant in a few months when all you can talk about is "how bad the show is" now when Season 6 wasn't actually that bad, or as Buck-centric as your memory, colored by your dismay, has told you it is, but alas) but, again, that was Kristen that main-characterized Buck. That doesn't mean Tim necessarily will. Historically, 9-1-1 as an ensemble has thrived because of him, so maybe a little more faith should be put into his history with the show rather than hers.

Having said that, I think we should lay off the people who are upset/jumping to conclusions about Buck's relationship to this season because their feelings aren't ridiculous or unwarranted. I said this to Kaylin a couple weeks ago, but 9-1-1 has some pretty significant work to do when it comes to reestablishing the trust that was broken between the show/the viewers last season. The lack of Buddie (not even as a romance but as a core relationship of the show), combined with the focus on side characters has understandably made people uncertain as to what to expect. So I think it's important to remember that.

But it's equally important to dial back on the angst and apprehension until there is something to be upset about. If you get upset prematurely, there exists no room for excitement which means, when you are in this fandom space, you are actively spending weeks/months in a state of misery. Which just sounds awful considering the state of the world. So, obviously, everyone will do with that what they will, but 🤷🏾‍♀️ it's just something to think about.

#jack answers mail #tv: 911

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franklymyqueeridontgiveadamn · 1 year

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Queer Christmas movie recs

Breakfast with Scot (2007) An absolutely delightful feel-good movie about a retired NHL player and his partner reluctantly taking in an effeminate boy they are extremely not equipped to handle, and eventually becoming a family. One of my favorite movies of all time. Content notes: homophobia, sexism, mild violence, bullying, brief vomit, shitty parenting but I promise they learn their lesson.

The Christmas Setup (2020) The first gay Lifetime Christmas movie, and it's exactly what you'd expect based on that. Big-city attorney visits his hometown for Christmas, falls for his high school crush, saves the beloved local train station from demolition. There's a really sweet element of queer history involved, and Fran Drescher is great as the nosy matchmaking mom. Content notes: dead dad backstory, hilariously inaccurate depiction of computer algorithms.

Single All The Way (2021) Another home-for-the-holidays romcom with a nosy matchmaking family, this one with a fake-dating premise and a Black love interest. Jennifer Coolidge makes a good kooky aunt, and the main character's love of plants is very true to the queer experience. Content notes: infidelity (not committed by the main characters), looks like I didn't take notes on this one while I was watching so there might be more I'm not remembering but nothing too major.

Carol (2015) Oscarbait '50s period drama with Rooney Mara as a young saleswoman and Cate Blanchett as an older divorcee. I actually didn't love this one the first time I saw it, but last year I got an urge to watch it again and if you're in the mood for cinematic eyefucking it will come through for you on that front. It's a little bit of a downer, lots of homophobia and societal obstacles and ennui, but it's a very pretty film with a... maybe not happy, but at least cautiously optimistic ending. Content notes: homophobia, custody conflict, blackmail, mentions of infidelity.

Happiest Season (2020) I do recommend this movie BUT you gotta go into it with the right expectations. It was billed as a feel-good Christmas romance and it is not that! It's the coming-out story of a closeted lesbian (Mackenzie Davis) who treats her wonderful girlfriend (Kristen Stewart) like crap instead of telling her family they're dating, and you will come out of it screaming about how the wonderful girlfriend should have ended up with Aubrey Plaza's character (which, by the way, Aubrey Plaza wholeheartedly agrees with at 3:36 of this video). But it's well-made, it's really funny, there are a lot of good characters and good moments—it's worth watching as long as you know what you're getting into. Content notes: homophobia, bullying of an autistic-coded character, and honestly I think a lot of the shit Mackenzie Davis's character pulls counts as emotional abuse.

Tangerine (2015) A low-budget movie filmed entirely on iPhones, set in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, centering around a day in the life of two trans sex workers of color. Rough and gritty, hysterically funny, a little dark at times but not tragic. Content notes: transphobia, lots of infidelity, racism/slurs, mild violence, drugs, one very brief scene involving the death of a pet (not shown).

#queer #queer film #queer movies #christmas movies

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fantasy-mixtapes · 1 month

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Kristen Applebees Season 1 Character Playlist BREAKDOWN

OKAY, SO this one is gonna be an ordeal.

I set a 6-song limit for every other playlist I made, but this is the playlist that started it all. So, I didn't have a limit. So it's 12 songs long.

Which is honestly like a normal playlist length BUT it's gonna be a long breakdown which I will lovingly do because I LOVE Kristen with my whole heart. Either way, this is deffos gonna be a long post so read if you want (i would very much appreciate it obvi but I get this is pushing it).

Genres Included: Folk, Singer-songwriter, Alternative, 80's

1. Save the People, The Mountain Goats

When wilt thou save the people? Oh, God of mercy, when? Not kings and lords, but nations Not thrones and crowns, but men God save the people For thine they are Thy children as thy angels fair Save the people from despair

Starting off strong with my main man John Darnielle. John, as prolific as he might be, did not write this song it is originally from the musical Godspell by Steven Schwartz. I was raised as a theater kid and I remember one summer my mom took out our cable and the only things we could watch on the tv were dvds and vhs tapes of musicals, and the 1973 Godspell movie was definitely one of my favorites. Its like "what if Jesus was around in the 70s and was a hippie clown and also was crucified on a chain-linked fence and beaten by cops" ...ah, good times.

ANYWAYS, I don't feel like I need to get into why this is a perfect Kristen song - I feel like it really gets to the divide between the way that Christianity is taught to kids vs the way it is enacted by the adults that do the teaching.

2. Father Texas, Birdtalker

Father Texas on his toes Tells me where and when to go He's a savior, liturgy man He's a stickler and a soap monger Shove it down your throat Holy answer man He says obey and I'll love ya Now I'm doing just to prove And I'm walking out of fear But the devils done

Ok so I was raised Catholic, which I feel like is a whole different flavor of religious trauma compared to Evangelical or Baptist vibes - which I feel like the Helioic religion gives. Either way, this song slaps and really gets to that Evangelical vibe.

3. Big Houses, Squalloscope

I build bridges with these arms I will not build a fortress In the circle around the kitchen table I say my "amen" because I feel blessed Secretly hoping, while joining hands, that you can't feel my trembling fingertips

Here's young Kristen Applebees - Chosen One of Helio- who just wanted to help people. She meets her first non-religious friends, plans to convert and save them, and then straight up dies on the first day of school. She comes face to face with her literal god, is disappointed and grossed out by him, and then is magically (and violently) revived.

Can you imagine her returning home, trying to answer her parent's questions about the first day, making it through dinner, crawling into bed, and just lying there? AHHHHHHHHHHH

4. Under The Table, Fiona Apple

I'd like to buy you a pair of pillow-soled hiking boots To help you with your climb Or rather, to help the bodies that you step over along your route So they won't hurt like mine Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up Kick me under the table all you want I won't shut up, I won't shut up

Speaking of those family dinners, as the days go by and Kristen gets closer to her party, how do you think she's gonna react to whatever comments her parents make about them hmmmmmm? The result of coming out of your social shell and realizing how bad the people around you really are.

5. Cleric Girl, Sisyfuss

I need my cleric girl tonight So she can bless me in this plight Dress me in crucifixes so they die on sight I need my cleric girl tonight

This is just a fun song I see as Kristen finds her groove within the party, kinda around the DJ brains fight. Also it makes me think of the prayer chain thing that she had the whole party on at some point.

6. Cornflake Girl, Tori Amos

She knows what's going on Seems we got a cheaper feel now All the sweeteaze are gone Gone to the other side With my encyclopedia They musta paid her a nice price She's putting on her string bean love This is not really, this, this This is not really happening

There's something about a Tori Amos song that never fucking misses. This song, for me, kinda gets at the part of growing up when you really start to uncover the truth of things for yourself, instead of listening to the things you were always told. Kristen buys the book of world religions and reads about the atrocities people did in her god's name. She is also told that the "cool camps" she was going to were run by an actual fanatical cult. Yikes.

7. Eldest Daughter, Isabel Pless

Bring me your battered, your bruised, and your scarred Florence Nightingale, to your broken hearts Bring me your bleeding I'll stitch it up with a bow Tugging at the sword in the stone The dormant hero in me is yet to be known Dying to prove myself again, but I don't know how Wanna lay my weapons down Lay my weapons down Want everyone to adore me even though People's emotions are out of my control Smothering fires Letting flames claim my hands I would do anything to be needed Over and over again.

Okay, the thing about this song is that we get the root of it here in season one, and it shows up really lightly, but God almighty, do we get one hell of a payoff in the next two seasons. Damn. The first time I listened to this song I cried. It's on several of my dnd character playlists - because, for some reason, I can't stop making dnd characters with self-saccrificing tendencies. HM! I WONDER WHY?

But anyways, yeah... something something, Christian households raising their eldest daughters to be surrogate mothers and laborers, something something Kristen is a cleric while her brothers are paladins, something something Women being healers

8. Angel Eyes and Basketball, Foot Ox

There are flowers growing all around A massive animal inside of me And it's so ugly, and I'm so broken And I'm so ugly, and it's so broken I am calling all of my friends To pull me out of this hole But they're so caught up in their own shit And I'm so caught up in my own shit

Ok, this is full Christian guilt. I also really like the way this song is one of those upbeat but devastating ones because it makes me think about her inspiring speeches to her party members just being her ranting about how horrible everything is, and then they get +1 to attacks and extra hitpoints. Living La Vida Loca.

9. We Fell in Love in October, girl in red

Smoking cigarettes on the roof You look so pretty, and I love this view Don't bother looking down, we're not going that way At least I know I am here to stay We fell in love in October That's why I love fall Looking at the stars Admiring from afar

Ok, I know this is cheesy. BUT TO MY CREDIT: both the song and the season came out in 2018. Also, you know Kristen would stream the fuck out of this song.

10. Running Up That Hill ( A Deal With God), Kate Bush

And if I only could, I'd make a deal with God And I'd get him to swap our places I'd be running up that road, be running up that hill With no problems

AGAIN TO MY CREDIT: I made this playlist in 2020 - two years before Stranger Things brought the song back to the general psyche. No shade, of course, to the stranger things; it's a perfect song to choose, and the scene effectively made me cry.

But anyway its here because at her bones, Kristen would die for her friends and has and will (unfortunately) continue to. Speaking of

11. Arms Tonite, Mother Mother

I cry in the afterlife I cry hard because I have died And you're alive I try to escape afterlife I try hard to get back inside Your arms alive

Kristen's dying count is more than double most of her friends at this point - and golly gee just wait till season 2!

Can I roll a nat 20 and then be alive?

12. Glory (Bunker Sessions), Bastille

And all their words for glory Well, they always sounded empty When we're looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven Way down here upon the ground When we're lying in the dirt There's no looking up for heaven Looking up for heaven

I really love this bunker session version of this song; the strings and the piano just give it a lovely honesty. Gorgeous song. Perfect way to end this season

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #d20 #spotify #fantasy mixtapes #kristen applebees #d20 kristen applebees #ally beardsley #Spotify

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pandomech · 3 months

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So I've heard that the RatButtFarmers are based off Bad TTRPG stereotypes so here are my assumptions on the other 3

Cleric, Lawful Stupid, The person who is way too controlling of anyone else doing something they wouldn't, In a comparison to Season 1 Kristen, While S1 Kristen would go "Hey Imma steer the bad kids away from damnation", the Currently Unnamed Cleric would forcibly stop others from doing anything against Helio or Sol.

Wizard, Obvious "I DON'T CARE HOW BIG THE ROOM IS, I CAST FIREBALL", The person is very rude and ignores basic kindness, like touches a person with their whole hand or shoves them around despite not being close at all, I'm not really seeing a connection to Season 1 Adaine but this feels like the clear choice for a wizard.

Fighter, Main Character Syndrome, I've noticed that the subclasses might be the same as the bad kids first subclass, as a kinda these kids haven't grown at all sitch, and it's a extreme of Fabian's original personality along with his subclass of Champion, so it feels fitting as a mirror to Fabian and a fit for the class with the comparison that Fabian liked the limelight but this Fighter would force someone out of the limelight to be in the limelight.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #ratbuttfarmers #RatButtfuckers #ratgrinders

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deconstructthesoup · 4 months

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I've suddenly realized a very, very, very clear pattern in the antagonists of Fantasy High, and that has made me very scared for the Bad Kids going forward.

In the first season, while not being the main main antagonist, the Harvestmen were a huge antagonistic force. And while Hal and Donna Applebees being involved was, as far as I can tell, a spur-of-the-moment-and-brilliant choice from Ally, it still establishes something big. Kristen's parents, church, and community are part of what the Bad Kids have to go up against, showcasing the fact that she has to choose to leave her family behind.

When we get to Sophomore Year, Adaine's parents aren't just mere antagonistic forces like they were in the beginning---or like the Applebees always were, even during the Harvestmen plot. Angwyn and Arianwen are the straight-up big bads of the season, especially after the Nightmare King reverts into Cassandra. These two are the ones who are driving the plot forward, who are creating roadblocks for our protagonists, and who are pretty much masterminding the whole thing.

Which means that in Junior Year... well, here's where my theory falls apart, because Kristen and Adaine are kind of the only two characters with explicitly abusive parents. Gorgug, of course, has two sets of amazing parents, and Riz has the best mom ever and an angel dad. But while Fig and Fabian are both on good terms with their parents---also, I think it's vaguely hilarious that Fig has two dads and a loving-yet-messy mom, while Fabian has two moms and a loving-yet-messy-dad---there's still some baggage there. We still don't have all the answers for Sandralynn's past, and if the first episode has indicated anything, something from Gorthalax's domain is reaching out to Fig... and as for Fabian, well, we can't forget that Chungledown Bim is still a warlock of Bill Seacaster.

So... yeah. Can't wait to see what family drama's gonna be dug up in this season.

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high: junior year #fhjy theories

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unhauntng · 1 year

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one of my fave parts of fig’s character is just how much she cares about everyone. like obviously she’s the main gilear defender because he’s one of her dad’s but putting that aside there’s so many moments that are easy to miss where fig just. cares.

it’s fig that gets gorgug into drumming. she sees someone so afraid of who they are supposed to be, just like her, and she reaches out to help him. she didn’t have to and she didn’t have to care enough to do so, especially with the new badass person she’s trying to be but she just fundamentally cares so much.

when adaine gets taken by the elves it’s fig that is immediately the most worried. she stresses how she’s her best friend, how they have to go help her asap, she spends the whole fight trying to make sure the elves don’t take her.

when kristen dies in the forest, fig is one of the first to react. she jumps through a wall for her. when brennan asks for their fears emily says fig is just so scared about the people around her getting hurt. she blames herself for not being able to save kristen even when she couldn’t do anything. she scrys on her even when she knows she should be searching for the centre of the forest. this is the same time when she’s so worried about ayda as well and is terrified of losing her. she just cares about her friends so much. plus earlier when kristen was getting attacked by kalina, fig literally carries her out of the forest to get her out of there alive.

with gilear, she stays with him even when it would be more comfortable at her mom’s, she worries about him not eating, she asks him to come on the trip because she loves him. with gothalax she hates herself for trapping him and is desperate to save him for most of the season. with sandralynn she doesn’t even consider not keeping her thing with garthy private because it’s her moms issue not anyone else’s. she has a complicated relationship with her parents but she never stops showing how much she cares about all of them

#dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #figueroth faeth #fig fantasy high #fig faeth #emily axford #fantasy high sophomore year #d20 fhsy #fhsy

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collidedscope · 1 year

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i’m actually thinking there’s a strong possibility someone’s going to die this next episode.

it’s been brought up before, but the last time they were all level 1, two people died. i know they’re much more experienced players now, but i don’t think brennan was intending to be particularly difficult on their very first encounter- level 1 characters are just incredibly fragile.

and there’s no primary healers in the party. in s1 they had kristen, but i believe the only healing spells they have is mother goose being a bard.

and their opponents are scary- a whole bunch of furniture constructs and an, albeit weakened, fairy godmother. brennan has specifically pointed out multiple times now that “in a fair fight” there would be a tpk 10/10 times. and at the end of the last episode, they lost their main advantage: stealth. there’s no time to get into an ideal position and coordinate a plan, there’s no surprise round or anything.

i know that the intrepid heroes aren’t trying to kill everyone there, their goal is to grab something and run away. however, i highly doubt that the fairy godmother is just going to let them run off with something that holds such significance to her.

and all of this combined with the tone of this season being so grim and the fact that brennan hinted at it being high lethality…

usually i’m not one to think there will be a permadeath in d20, but i really am thinking someone’s gonna die, and that it is going to set the tone for the rest of the season.

#neverafter #neverafter spoilers #d20 #dimension 20 #i speak

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readyforthegarden · 6 months

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Silver Springs - Part Twelve

Masterlist

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x Original Female Character

Synopsis: The year was 1976, the season was summer. The days were hot and the nights were hotter. Music was the best it had ever been, especially rock music. Sam Kiszka has been riding the high of being in one of the top bands on the scene, but when his bands tour is accompanied by another up-and-coming band, with a lead singer that gets on his very last nerve, will everything come crashing down or will they end up making music that changes the world?

Warnings: Angst, intense arguing, soul crushing music 18+ only, Minors DNI

A/N: This is the final installment of Silver Springs. I just want to say a few thank yous before our ending begins. First, thank you to my best friend, Hillary, for always supporting my ideas and working ideas through with me and helping me make sure my writing makes sense. I want to say a huge, ginormous thank you to Sammy Nation, especially Kristen, Beth, Vi, and Cat, for hyping this fic up every post, being so excited about it and having so much fun with me about the updates. I lived for your reactions and reviews and theories, and even enjoyed being yelled at by yall. And another big thank you to Em and Madi for always being there when I had a block and hyping me up and reminding me I am that bitch when I needed it. I love all of you so much, thank you for all of your support. 💖💖💖💖

WC: 3919

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“Alright is everyone here?!” the festival coordinator looked around the group of Greta Van Fleet and The Blue Jean Babies, their roadies and crew. “Okay, Harlow and the Blue Jean Babies, your set is at 7:30 on the main stage, if you’re late, you’re not playing, and Greta will go on an hour early. Don’t test me, they have the discography to play a double.”

Small, muffled laughs rumbled through the small crowd as they continued.

“Once your set is done, roadies, clear the stage as quickly as possible to make room for the next band. If you have any questions, come find me. Until then, have fun.” the coordinator made sure everyone was crystal clear before leaving. The bands co-mingled, passing around bottles of beer. Josh and Harlow parted from the group, leaving to warm up their voices.

“I’m so proud of you, baby.” Cindy rested her hands on Sam’s shoulder, hopping up on her tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “Look how far you’ve gotten, from a garage to stadiums and festivals. It’s amazing.”

“Thanks, Cin.” Sam gave her a small smile. Cindy’s brows stitched together, letting one of her hands drop to his back, rubbing it softly.

“You okay?” she asked softly. Sam swallowed down the ‘no’ that threatened to push out from his lips.

“Just some pre-show jitters is all.” he replied instead. “I think I’m going to go grab my cigarettes from the bus.”

“Want me to come?”

“Nah, I’ll be right back,” Sam leaned down, pressing a kiss to Cindy’s head and leaving her side. Weaving through the other artists, groupies and crew members backstage at the festival, Sam made it to their bus, grabbing his pack of smokes, pilfering Jake’s lighter when he couldn’t find his own. On the way back, he took his time, trying to enjoy the setting sun and feeling of a late summer party with the people and music around.

He didn’t mean to stumble upon Josh and Harlow warming up their voices behind other bands buses, the angle of parking making a small, quieter alcove for them to hear themselves. Josh spotted him first, his mouth pressing into a line as Harlow continued, her voice trailing off as she caught the look on Josh’s face, and turned.

“Uh, hi.” Sam gave a small wave, causing Josh to roll his eyes. “Could I have a minute, Harlow?” Harlow stayed silent, and Sam watched Josh’s end of a silent conversation between them, feeling left out like he did with Josh and Jake did the same thing.

“I’ll be right around the corner if you need me.” Josh assured her, stepping around her and bumping his shoulder with Sam’s as he passed. Sam held back an eye roll as Harlow turned to face him. She was wearing the long black dress again, a sequin purple shawl draped over her shoulders. Layers of necklaces hung down her chest, and bracelets up her arms jingled as she moved. Her makeup was light just dark, black eyeliner on her top lids, flicked out at the outer corners.

“You’re really wasting your one minute with all this silence.” Harlow mumbled, watching Sam as he took in her appearance. He blinked a few times, bringing himself back to the moment at hand.

“Sorry, I just…you look…you look beautiful, Harlow.” Sam meant it, and by the red tinge on her cheeks, Harlow knew it.

“Thank you. Is that all you wanted? I have to continue warming up.”

“Harlow, I never meant to hurt you.” Sam stepped closer to her, suddenly feeling desperate for her to know everything he felt. “Cindy and I-“

“are a really beautiful couple.” Harlow cut him off, giving him a forced smile. “I’m very happy for you, really Sam. Cindy, and I say this honestly, is very kind, and very pretty. You don’t deserve her.” Sam swallowed hard as the look in Harlow’s eyes shot ice through his veins.

“I thought she knew it was over when I left for this tour, Harlow.” Sam defended himself quietly. “I never did anything with you behind her back.”

“So she knows about us, then?” the question cut him, just like she knew it would. “She knows I slept in your bed? That you touched me and made love to me in that bed and any one we could find over the past few months?” Sam’s silence was all she needed. “That’s what I thought.”

“I needed you to know.” Sam murmured quietly. Harlow brought a hand up to her face, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I told you I love you, and you never said it.” she cleared her throat, thick with tears she refused to let spill. “I asked you to stop making me a fool, and you made me the biggest one. Do you think me knowing your conscience is clear means anything?”

“You needed to know that I didn’t do it on purpose!” Sam exclaimed, tossing his hands out to the side exasperatedly. “I wanted you, I want you! God, I think about you all the time, I miss you. My pillow still smells like you, for christ’s sake!”

“I’m sure Cindy loves that.” Harlow snarked. “So you miss me, you want me. Do you love me?” Sam stared at Harlow, his heart screaming at him to answer yes, but his brain stalling.

“What?

“Do you love me?” Harlow’s eyes were wide as she slowly enunciated her words, the glassy sheen of tears she refused to let spill reflecting Sam’s own image back to him as he stared at her. The tension between them was thick, weighing on both of their voices as they spoke.

All the trysts between shows, the beach love making, the late nights writing and arguing ran through Sam’s mind. He felt the ghost of her kiss on the birthmark on his underarm, her lips, all over his skin. The way her hazel eyes sparkled up at him, even when she loathed him at the beginning. The way he was completely enthralled with her every move, every breath. How inspiring she was, and her wild determination.

Then he thought of Cindy, the young woman who had been there for him through everything. Stood by his side and never quite got the hint that him pushing back the wedding date was him letting her go. How her green eyes shone whenever they landed on him, as they always had. The way she had seemed to live for him and only him, but she would never bring the light and fire Harlow did.

Gathering his answer, Sam knew what he had to do. A false truth, but for who would it be harder to live with? Harlow was set on a path, and one that Sam would make sure she saw through. From the day he met her, and read her songs, he knew this woman was meant for great things. He couldn’t stop that trajectory now.

“No.” his quiet words sliced through the air, draining the room of all oxygen as Harlow felt her chest cave in, exhaling a breath she’d been holding in as a scoff. Sam didn’t take his eyes from her, watching her grit her teeth behind her lips, jaw clenching as she composed herself.

“Fuck you,” she seethed, her rage quiet, yet forceful enough to set Sam’s skin aflame with shame. “Fuck you, Sam.”

He watched as she stepped closer, the heels of her boots digging into the dirt under her, kicking up rocks as she lifted them. Her body somehow loomed over him, though she was shorter. Her energy radiated every ounce of anger and hatred towards him with every step.

“When this tour is over, I’m going to forget about you. I will never, ever think of you again.” her voice was even and slow, making sure the man heard her every syllable as her dark eyes bored into his. “But you will always fucking remember me.” she locked eyes with him for a few seconds more before turning on her heel and storming back towards the main stage.

“We’re playing it tonight, after The Chain.” Harlow pulled Billy aside from his conversation with Danny. Billy looked confused, then wide-eyed.

“Are you sure? You said it wasn’t ready.”

“It is.” was all Harlow replied.

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The Blue Jean Babies set was electric. They’d picked up hundreds of fans over the first leg of the tour, and that combined with the fans waiting their set out for Greta Van Fleet, the festival crowd was like a sea, roaring and crashing along with the beats of their songs.

Performing The Chain with Greta got the crowd to pay attention, and kept them in the wings to watch the rest of the performance. As she expected, Sam stayed with his brothers, though if Cindy was there too, Harlow couldn’t catch a glimpse.

“This is another new song,” Harlow spoke into the microphone, pausing for the whistles and cheers. “This is for all the lovers out there, whose love hasn’t been returned.” with that, Billy began sliding into the song on his guitar, Harlow gripping the mic stand.

“You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

Don't say that she's pretty

And did you say that she loved you?

Baby, I don't want to know”

Harlow could feel eyes boring into her, Sam watching her intently from the wings. Gripping the mic stand tighter, Harlow began the second verse, closing her eyes to keep herself focused.

“So I'll begin not to love you

Turn around, see me runnin'

I'll say I loved you years ago

Tell myself you never loved me, no

Don't say that she's pretty

And did you say that she loved you?

Baby, I don't want to know

Oh no

And can you tell me was it worth it?

Baby, I don't want to know”

Harlow felt a surge of confidence, as they started the chorus, opening her eyes and scanning the crowd again.

“Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me

I know I could have loved you

But you would not let me”

Billy played his solo beautifully, leading Harlow back into the chorus, his voice joining hers.

“Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me

I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me

I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice will haunt you

Give me just a chance

You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

Harlow took the mic off the stand, moving around it and bending at the waist, stomping her foot to emphasize her lyrics and feelings.

“Was I such a fool?

I'll follow you down til' the sound of my voice will haunt you

Give me just a chance”

Her voice was gruff as she stared Sam down, singing the chorus. She hadn’t meant to look at him at all, she meant to perform the song and ignore his very existence. Yet as she sang, her heart and eyes pulled her to him, hoping the words sang out would curse him in the way he’d cursed her, leaving scars on her heart for the rest of her life.

“You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you!”

Harlow straightened up, still locked in her stare with Sam as she pulled the mic away from her lips while Billy and the rest of the band continued their harmonies. She could see the affect her song had on him, his brows knit together, a resigned look on his face as he took his fate. Harlow had never planned to perform this song in front of him. She wanted him to hear it on the radio, everywhere he went, following him around like she wrote. But to have the cathartic release of singing out her pain right in front of him, with fresh wounds, was something that left her feeling vindicated.

For the rest of their lives, this song would tie them together.

They would write other songs about one another throughout the years, sparking more rumors and feuds. Coming together and swearing this performance would be the last they ever did with one another as various charities and projects. Moments of friendship marred by the past being brought up. Vague comments about one another, tell-alls for PBS specials, one of the marks of music history was the relationship between Harlow and Sam.

Twenty-Four Years Later…

Harlow sat in her cozy armchair by her fireplace, one of her now-iconic shawls across her shoulders. Her living room looked different than it normally did. Normally, the cozy Malibu bungalow was dark, but colorful, with ample space for dancing when the mood struck. Today there lights everywhere, and electrical cords winding all around on the floor. A journalist sat opposite her, as a camera was pointed in Harlow’s direction. For the thousandth time, Harlow had been recounting the highs and lows of the summer of 1976.

“So, you finished out the tour with Greta Van Fleet, and you skyrocketed to your own success. Over the years, you all crossed paths, did anything ever spring up again?” Harlow smiled softly at the question, recalling her friendships over the last two and a half decades of her life.

“Oh always.” she answered, nodding. “Josh Kiszka and I remained very close over the years, and still today. I had dinner at his home just the other night. I do feel a deep love for them all still.”

“Even Sam?” Harlow’s smile faltered slightly. Imperceptible to the naked eye, but she could feel the change in her muscles on her face.

“Over twenty years later,” she began. “and my name is still attached to his. Never married, yet when you google me, his last name is right there. Or so my nieces and nephews tell me.” Harlow chuckled a bit, before her face became more serious. A far off look glazed over her eyes as she recalled the summer of ’76. “I loved him once, very passionately. A heart never forgets that. It moves on, but it never forgets.”

“I think…” the interviewer paused, biting their bottom lip. “I think you should see something.” she beckoned over a young man with a laptop. Placing it on her lap, the interviewer typed a bit, then turned it around, showing Harlow the screen.

A frozen image of Sam was on it, and as soon as the interview clicked the screen, he began to move. Harlow took him in. It had been only about three years since she last saw him, but it still shocked her how well he had aged over time. His hair was still long, the dark brown tint had lightened, the hints of some gray at his roots. His facial hair had filled in more since the last she saw him too, though he kept with his classic goatee and mustache more flecks of gray peeking between the dark reds and browns.

“The music you made with Harlow and The Blue Jean Babies, with just her, is stuff of legend.” the interviewers voice sounded from off camera. “And the songs she wrote about you, and you about her in your solo work, there’s an ache there that is felt through generations.”

“The whole story is out there.” Sam replied. “I’m not here to hash over the details for the millionth time. But I’ll say this, on record for the first time. I have never loved someone the way I loved Harlow. She was the one who got away, and I still beat myself up for losing her.”

“If you could do anything over again, make it right, would you?”

Sam dragged a hand down his face, scratching in his beard.

“I have two answers. The first is no, because look at the fucking rock music we made. We changed music for at least a decade, I wouldn’t take that back.” he laughed. “But I would go back and do everything in my power to keep Harlow Brandy Lawson in my life.”

The interviewer paused the video, watching Harlow’s face closely. Years of back and forth, jabs in the media and in records and performances, she had steeled herself from him. From Sam. He had done the same. Even after his breakup with Cindy, he never came back to her. And Harlow never went to him. Maybe it had been pride that stopped them, maybe they each supposed the other truly had moved on. Harlow knew he had lied, when he said he didn’t love her. Josh had told her, years later when he thought it was safe for her to hear.

“These interviews were going to be played at the award ceremony tonight. Obviously edited to leave out the more personal parts, like that.” the interviewer informed Harlow. “Every member of Greta Van Fleet will be there. And every member of The Blue Jean Babies is too…the only person who didn’t respond was you.”

“I-I don’t know.” Harlow shook her head. “I mainly focus on charity events these days and-“

“Off the record,” the young woman leaned forward in her seat. “I grew up listening to your music. My mom raised me on Harlow and The Blue Jean Babies and Greta Van Fleet, told me all the torrid details. I always wondered what would happen though, if you and Sam had another shot. And with what the both of you have said…I think you both wonder that too.”

Harlow stared at the interviewer as she took in her words, a flutter in her heart, knowing she was right.

“How smart, the youth is today.” Harlow smiled. “I supposed we should end our time together here. I have an induction tonight, and I need an outfit.”

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Though she was never one to roll in her riches, Harlow was thankful she had some money behind her to be able get together a dress and shoes, and quickly get her hair and makeup done on the last minute. Getting a car service, she made her way to the awards show, letting her manager and agent know she was accepting the invitation, and to let the event staff know.

Arriving at the red carpet, Harlow was greeted by cheers and calls from the photographers as soon as her shoes hit the ground. She had forgotten how blinding the flashes were and took a moment to regain her composure before stepping along the carpet, letting the event staff guide her to the photo ops and interviews. She didn’t dare look around, now that she was here. What would she even do if she saw Sam? What would she say? Had too many years gone by with no resolve for them to rekindle anything at all?

Once she was inside the venue, another coordinator guided her backstage, letting her know that the rest of the Blue Jean Babies were there. Where they left her, there was no sign of them, and Harlow suddenly felt like a child on the first day of school, nervous and alone as her heels carried her down the hallway, clicking softly.

“After all these years, and you still manage to surprise me.” Harlow turned around, seeing Billy behind her, a wide grin on his face. Harlow rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he did the same to her waist, hugging her tight. It had been only a few months since the two had seen each other, but it was still too long. “You said you weren’t coming.”

“I changed my mind.” Harlow smiled.

“A sight for sore eyes if there ever was one.” turning again, Harlow was met with Jake Kiszka, his signature smirk in place. “Heard you went to Josh’s for dinner last week, and I have to admit, I’m hurt. You know I’m the better cook.”

“Jake,” Harlow moved from Billy’s grasp and into Jake’s with a laugh. “To be fair, I helped him cook most of it.”

“That sounds about right.” Jake quipped back. While the twins were never far apart from one another, Harlow rarely saw Jake. He stood back, hands on her arms as he assessed her. “You look damn good, Harlow.”

“Thank you, Jake.” she laughed, pulling him into a hug again. “Is everyone else here already?”

“You’re the last one.” Billy told her. “Do you want a drink?”

“I would love one.” Harlow followed Billy into the green room he came out of, greeting the rest of her former bandmates as Billy poured her a whiskey sour. There was still some time before the awards ceremony started, and they all spent a good amount of time catching up, before Harlow excused herself, going to find a restroom.

As she walked down the hallway, following the paper signs taped up on the walls, she stopped, noticing someone leaving another room.

He was just how he looked in the video, the overheard fluorescent lights catching the gray in his hair, beard and mustache more than previously. He was dressed in a suit, the shirt underneath loose, and opened down to just above his belly button. Harlow’s heart thumped in her chest, must like the way it did when she first saw him all those years ago, outside the venue when she asked him to read her songs.

Like a deer in headlights, Harlow was frozen, and once Sam saw her, he was the same. She saw his adams apple bob as he swallowed, his brown eyes flitting all over her. Finally, Harlow broke the trance, stepping towards Sam, him breaking his and meeting her in the middle.

“Hello Sam,” Harlow smiled softly.

“Hi Harlow.” Sam returned it, letting his eyes rake over her face. She should’ve made small talk. Asked him what project he was working on now, if the recent rains drowned out his garden. Instead, blurted out everything that was building up inside.

“If I could change it, I would go back and do everything to keep you, too.” Harlow breathed out. Sam looked at her, puzzled for a moment before realization passed over his face, softening his brow as his body moved instinctually, an arm wrapping around her waist and pulling her body to his. “Sam, it’s always been you.”

“Brandy,” Sam whispered softly. “I meant what I said, I never loved another the way I love you.” Harlow’s heart skipped a beat. Twenty-four years later, and the words she so desperately wanted, needed from Sam were finally said. “I always did, I’m sorry I lied.”

“I know,” Harlow nodded, feeling Sam’s hand cup her face. “I know.” they stared at each other, oblivious to the backstage chaos around them. A moment that had been decades in the making, two hearts that stayed open just for one another finally meeting once again.

“Can we start over?” Sam asked, brushing Harlow’s hair back from her face as she looked up at him. Age had began to set in, faint lines set in where her skin was once smooth, but all Sam saw was the voracious twenty-something he fell in love with twenty four years ago.

“We’ll see.” Harlow smiled, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Sam’s thumbs brushed them away, fighting some of his own.

“We’ll see always means no.” he whispered back, following her lead. His face inched closer to hers, his lips grazing over her own. Before they sealed the kiss, Harlow whispered back.

“Not this time, Sam. Not this time.”

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