the rest of the kotlc books i read summarized in the most unhinged way possible
part one
Lodestar: Sir Mommy Issues™️ is apart of the neverseen and blows. up. his. SCHOOL. the council make everyone go to prison school lesssons, btw y’all can blow up flesh and bone, what?!, oh nothing, girl blows up rock with mind, ✨Slumber Party✨ MARRIED PEOPLE 💕KISS💕 BECAUSE THEY LOVE AND FORGIVE EACH OTHER, daily check-in with double agent friend, he makes a poem about his bootie!!, they meet on a island?? and talk about stuff??? young man gets kidnapped and 🔥tortured🔥, the mirror that the girl was allergic to is actually a ✨secret portal✨, and it leads to another ✨secret portal✨,it takes them to a evil bad gut hideout (it’s empty btw), (they accidentally trap their friend in the secret wall hole), 13 year old is asked to attend peace talks because that’s where a child should be, this just in: having a peace talks on top of a underground prison is a horrible idea™️ who would have thought, the building collapses on top of everyone because foreshadowing, man who murdered his fiancé gets smooshed by a R O C K, the mentor guy gets stabbed and slowly bleeds out as his creation watches helplessly (this will definitely not effect her forever) oh no the bad guys have another bad guy!! oh know the girls human parents get kidnapped!! but her sister is ok!! she suddenly remembers who her sister is! THE END so much happens in this book what the hell
Nightfall: Human girl thinks elves names are weird, man drugs a group of children and takes them to a second location (his ex best friends apartment), the ex best friend fosters the human girl along with his “not legally” ex-wife, main character goes into zombie mode because her human parents are being tortured, strange lady takes children on a field trip with a man who’s just a blurry blob and not any character we knows older brother, 🎶young man, fight the ogre king, i say young man, rip that jewel, off, his, ear🎶 a princess becomes a body gaurd and immediately booby traps her charges bed, he’s supposed to be on bed rest because he got almost gutted by the Ogre king aka her dad, surprise girl can control 🔥FIRE🔥, secret message decoding, and technically not cousin kissing,they find the evil big brother™️ and he gets slammed into the walls by his sister, there’s a secret torture chamber under the under water city, parents are stuck inside fake 🔥fire🔥, they get the parents out, dad mid controls a psychopath AND a genetically modified murder creature that shouldn’t even exist (kinda like the main character but with less murder), girl decides to take on a murderer, without emotions, who’s been in jail for a millennia on her own and gets TOSSED THROUGH A MIRROR (A+ for effort baby girl), she’s completely shredded and to this day i don’t understand how they even found her body or how she found the evil lady, the human parents gets their minds wiped AGAIN (you will cry at what the mother says), evil big brother completely forgot who he is THE END
Flashback: Evil big brother who had his mind completely wiped is living at home again, because the council and his parents don’t think he’s evil anymore because he forgot all his memories, the younger siblings are NOT happy™️, the younger brother AKA the Burnette hot guy is EXTRA not happy™️, he works out in the desert doing hand stand push up that the main character definitely doesn’t find hot, OH NO! the bad guys attack with shadow powers!!!, the two guys the series keeps forgetting about save the day with a 🌈rainbow sword🌈 (and Explosives!!!🔥local children almost die for the eleventeth time, their in comas, their poor parents, girl wakes up, her arm is goopy and there’s a monster in her brain that is not a metaphor for PTSD, the boy is still in a coma, 🩷😊✨happy shadow thoughts✨😊🩷, girl says she misses the boy and he wakes up through the power of 💕love💕 (probably), they’re hospitalized for two months aka half the book, the blonde hot boy walks in on the Burnett hot guy had feeding the main character candy, he leaves like a sad puppy in the rain, they get out of the hospital, but the Burnett guy is still on crutches, ❤️boy x chandelier the love story for the ages❤️, main character gets not 1 not 2 but 4 new body guards, one is married to the princess, they hate each other, self-defense training and bodyguards shenanigans, the ballad of Bo and Ro is written, local horse girl almost gets kissed by a guy who’s basically royalty, the horse girls horse goes into labor and the horse girl teleports to her rescue, the bald girl from book one helps save the horse’s life with her mom and dad, a troll takes advantage of the fact that the baby horses need to be incubated and gets the horse girl make an alliance with the entire horse species without any other adult input, they take the babies to some hidden tower and create an illusion that will definitely protect them, surprise Evil brother is still evil, he release secret gmo murder troll newborns who wreck havoc, EVIL LADY GETS CRUSHED BY D O O R, little brother almost kills his brother not once but twice, one of those times he trapped him in a baby troll capsule, when it started to fill with goop. he. stopped. pressing. buttons. evil brother escapes definitely won’t be relevant later, evil mom lady threatens to kill the baby horses if he doesn’t get to steal a child, he agrees to be stolen, she knocks him out anyway, the baby horses are born and they are ok, then the horse girl goes to get her eugenics lists because that’s what you do when your friend is kidnapped.
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I made a 'mike and el break up and love each other but not like that and now they're healthier and able to grow and find the love they deserve' playlist and it's my new favourite thing
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