#like i feel kind of guilty for 'making them' do fantasy high again

[natjennie]

ousaugoahgh I love lou wilson so MUCH i want to be his friend so BAD.

#im so excited for junior year #and im glad that they all seem excited for it #because honestly as much as i love the bad kids #it felt kind of selfish of me to want them back so badly #when the cast clearly wanted to be doing other things #like i feel kind of guilty for 'making them' do fantasy high again #yknow what i mean? #it just kind of seemed like- esp from emily saying she considered retiring fig- #it seemed for a minute like they didnt want to do fh again like they were done with it #but at least from the little behind the scenes vids it looks like theyre excited #im so ready for them to be silly goofy and insane again #so many of the other seasons are like. a touch too serious for me #a lot of them veer a little too far into like. critical role territory for me. #which is why fantasy high and starstruck are my favorite seasons #i missed them being wild and fun #i hope its good. i really hope its good #fantasy high #d20

[badaseyebags]

private lessons ⋆｡°✩ chapter 1 ⟢

fluff, suggestive, smut in upcoming chapters

word count: 1,2k

warnings: aged up bada (she’s in her 30’s), age gap (reader is an adult!!!), very obvious power dynamics, dom!bada, student x teacher themes

author’s note: hello guys i am back with a series and i will try to update regularly, please be patient and give me some feedback. thank you and have fun reading! -booger 🍞

you knew it was wrong, and you knew your fantasies wouldn’t actually come to life, so why did it feel so thrilling? you look at yourself in the mirror as you’re smoothing over your clothes, exhaling shakily to mentally prepare yourself to meet up with your tutor. you seriously need to stop getting your hopes up.

you were an A+ student who never even had to study, acing your tests without any real effort. all you had to do was pay attention during class and you had nothing to worry about. so why exactly did you need a tutor? well… you see.. your teacher was temporarily gone for god knows what reasons, and you’ve gotten a substitute teacher for the time being.. and your grades dropped drastically, not because you suddenly stopped caring about school or because you missed classes, no no, quite the opposite.

the problem was your insanely attractive substitute teacher. Mrs. Lee… she was so tall.. so handsome.. so pretty.. and so strict. the second your eyes landed on her you knew you were done for. you felt so guilty for the emotions you yourself couldn’t even control, although you haven’t done or said anything wrong (yet). so why exactly were you feeling this way? oh right, having zero experience and drooling over your teacher who’s 10+ years older than you is probably a good enough reason. you and your twisted mind.

you had no issues in any other classes, being the nerd you were you quite enjoyed them. but as soon as the bell rang and she walked into the room, all your focus was on tall figure. oh how you wish she would tower over you- she was speaking but you couldn’t hear a word she was saying, just her voice. you didn’t see the notes she wrote on the blackboard, letters blending into the background. all you saw was her hands. as if you suddenly forgot to read, the veins on her large hands being much more interesting to study. the length of her fingers and the way she moved them had your mind flipping a switch. every word that left her mouth just flew past your head and all you could do was just stare with a blank stare, more like blank brain.. no thoughts head empty, just Mrs. Lee and your stupid imagination.

you didn’t see an issue in this, it was almost like a new hobby. patiently waiting for her class at the end of the day as if it were some kind of a reward. spacing out with the image of her right in front of you. damn, talk about inspiration. the issue was… you weren’t as smooth with concealing your so called innocent crush on her, which you failed to realize.

with the way you gulped each time she called your name or the way your cheeks turned red when she found out you’re spacing out and not playing attention once again, or the way your eyes would linger on her as she walked across the room, never leaving her for a second, as if they were glued to her.

it was all a bit too obvious to her. at first she found it funny, she was used to both men and women falling for her. however she wouldn’t have expected someone much younger then her to be so infatuated with her, especially to such a high level you were displaying, thinking you’re hiding it so well. reality was rather different. and quite frankly entertaining for her. especially you being her student, making it even more entertaining for her to watch.

you would of assumed she’d be married by now, there’s no doubt people are chasing her left and right, but she was actually not interested in settling down just yet, deciding to focus on her career and hope she finally meets the right person along the way. someone who she could be herself with… as in someone she could have complet control over. bada craved dominance, and while some people were into that, they were often caught off by the level of it that she desired. she wanted all of it. no, she needed all of it. it made her giggle, thinking your actions are cute and nothing more, she was your teacher for now after all. it’s not like you were underage or anything, but in her view it was simply unprofessional and inappropriate. not you basically eye fucking her every class she taught, but the fact that she enjoyed it much more then she wanted to admit.

she wanted to mess with you a little, play with your little brain and have some light hearted fun. not in a way where she uses you for a night and goes back to teaching you, she wouldn’t have the heart to do that, right? she just wanted to find a way that would entertain her for the time being. she loved teasing you and seeing your reactions, she found it cute how flustered she could get you just by pointing out your own behaviour. a part of her really did feel bad seeing your grades drop more and more, and it being indirectly her fault. if she wasn’t so dedicated to her work and didn’t take her time to learn all about the students she will be teaching temporarily, she wouldn’t have known you’re actually one of the top students. which is also why she was keeping an eye on you from the beginning, confusion clouding mind seeing you not match the expectations she’d set for you prior teaching you.

was there a mistake in the system? were those grades she’d seen not yours, perhaps someone with the same name as you…? she wondered after her first time teaching your class. the second time she’d notice you fidgeting and having trouble speaking when she asked you a question. hmm.. it must be anxiety, she thought. you did seem very nervous about her being your new teacher, maybe you were just this shy because you don’t know her, that’s all.

she realised all her theories were proven wrong as you spent the following days with flushed cheeks, eyes blinking up at her in concentration. looking away quickly as soon as she looked your way.

she thought she was partly responsible for this, so she was kind enough to offer you some tutoring sessions after school. when she told you to stay behind after dismissal and proposed the offer you panicked, just then realising how distracted you must of been during class for this to turn this bad.

you frantically shook your head not wanting to accept because 1) you didn’t want to be an inconvenience and waste her time due to failing and it being totally your fault. (the part you told her)

and 2) you’d definitely pass away being in the same room as her… all alone… in her house.. being much closer to you.. with her trying to explain to you what she said in class 200 times while you just drooled over her, as if it’s not going to be even harder for you to focus. ( that’s the part you didn’t tell her)

cat got your tongue when she assured you that it’s all okay and she would be more then happy to give you private lessons, and proud to see you do better. you swallowed hard as she asked for your number, arranging a meeting for the weekend, patting your head before she walked out telling you she can’t wait.

oh you’re screwed, so damn screwed.

#bada lee smut #bada lee #bada lee fluff #bada lee x reader #swf2 x reader

[dairy-farmer]

Bruce’s cum rag is a Tim-Era Robin kid’s beach towel. He’s also got a Red Robin plush he’s cut open and shoved a fleshlight into

oh the consequences of bruce desperatly repressing his attraction for tim so it manifests in those ways as a method to taking the edge off from the deep attraction he feels!!!! i also love the idea of bruce, when he's just beyond desperatly horny, seeking out a very niche branch of escort. the kind who dress up as capes/villains and provide the speciality service of fantasy wish fulfillment. bruce has like a handful of them memorized along with their contact info and when his attraction just gets too...bad and threatens to boil over in his life (potentially jeopardizing his relationship with tim who bruce has tried so hard not ruin but his stupid cock just won't get the message that tim was an absolutely OFF LIMITS person)...he calls one up. sometimes he calls multiple up. one to dress up in tim's old robin uniform and another in a newer red robin suit.

bruce tries not to feel guilty but he provides the suits to the sex workers. they think he's just a very eccentric client who specially commissions high quality suits but the truth is that rather than send tim's damaged suits to the incinerator like is protocol bruce...stole a few of them. he repaired them in secret and now shamefully kept them hidden away only to be taken out when he found a sex worker with just the right measurements to fill it out. they're never as muscular as bruce would like, their voices are always wrong, and sometimes they have piercings or birthmarks that make keeping up the fantasy a little hard. but it's worth it. every moment that bruce spends sinking his bare cock in hot, twitching little pussies wearing tim's suit make every little detail that isn't right fade to the background. bruce can't do this often. he fucks them too hard and as much as they enjoy it bruce being pent up means he often fucks them for hours on end just pressing his cock in as deep as it'll go and moaning about how tight and sweet his little robin is.

jacking off onto a kid sized towel with tim's likeness printed on it only did so much. then there was the red robin plushie where bruce had used a seam ripper to open the crotch and slide in a flashlight so he could hunch over it in his bathroom and stare down at blue glass eyes staring up at him with a little stitched on smile. god it was pathetic. it was every manner of pitying especially with how desperate bruce will be with the young women he hires to pretend to be his son.

one will sit on his face moaning and whining as bruce desperatly eats them out while the other softly bounces on his cock, grinding and rutting their puffy pussy against bruce's cock. other times bruce will have them lay on top of each other and wetly make out while bruce watches and fucks into their pink cunts, going back and forth between both holes while his heart raced a mile minute. bruce pays extra to have the sex be unprotected and to be allowed to cum deep inside them and normally he would NEVER. the risk of infection, the risk of pregnancy just being too much for just a few moments of a good time but...with tim. if it gets to the point where bruce has sought the escorts out again...then nothing short of being able to cum in them while fantasizing about it being tim who is weakly clenching down on his cock will be enough.

bruce is fine with that. his towel and plushy are enough most of the time. bruce does not keep a particularly close ear on the escort scene of gotham but he's a frequent enough client that a few of them send him christmas and birthday cards and direct him toward other workers when they've retired, left the scene, or have a full client list and can't squeeze him in.

the thing is that most metas live perfectly normal and average lives. very very very few of them actually try to become villains or heroes. mostly because all they have to do is turn on the news and see wonderwoman pound an alien into the pavement to realize crime might not be worth it and other times they might see the big memorial service for a fallen hero and see their family and friends crying to think it might not be worth it. and with the outpouring of metas who came out with stories about various world governments and organizations paying their parents and skirting them off to research facilities coming out- a lot more metas learned to keep their heads down and keep quiet. maybe they even learned to use their powers to help them in subtle ways like cheating on tests or making vacuuming under heavy furniture easier. that's the case with most low key metas. a few of them however...learn to use their powers in more...blatant ways.

bruce knows about a polyglot meta who is an in-house translator for a big shipping company to smoothe over negotiations in various countries. a meta with superhuman strength who owns and operates a construction business in connecticut. and...most recently, a meta with a shifting ability working as a high class escort in las vegas.

bruce heard about them through the working women he typically saw. mostly he heard about how they had friends in nevada that were very excited and rolling in major cash because a bunch of wealthy cliente were flocking to the state for a chance to hire them and if they couldn't then the other working girls had a shot at them. truly an 'i eat, everybody eats' scenario.

bruce is...curious. both just in terms of the metas capabilities and what exactly the girls meant by 'shifting' powers.

he gets his answer pretty soon. turns out the meta only needs a dna sample and they can transform into practically any person. not only that, but they can control the rate at which cells mature and die. meaning they can control the age at which they present.

it's tempting. it's so tempting it scares bruce. he has access to all kind of samples of tims dna. hair. saliva, blood. fresh AND old.

he could do it. he could make the short trip and do it. get it out of his system, finally know what it felt like to sink into tim's tight little pussy.

finally getting what he always wanted while never ruining the relationship he held so dear.

it was perfect. it was just what he needed.

(it was a trap. this would ruin him. he'd never again be able to look at tim and NOT think of the sight of him planted on his cock. the way he panted, the sound of his moans, the perfect pink flush of his cheeks does to his cunt)

this would ruin him. this would ruin him. this would absolutely destroy him.

#answered asks #asks #anonymous

[magniloquent-raven]

i wrote 1400 words of trans billy jerking off i hope yall enjoy him being horny and gross lmfao

**

Billy’s never been very good at resisting temptation, especially when it comes to his big stupid crush on Steve. 

He refuses to call it that, but that’s what it is. If it wasn’t he wouldn’t fucking be here, in Steve’s room, creeping on all his shit while Steve makes a beer run.

Not reading his diary or anything like that—mostly because he couldn’t find one—he’s just. Looking. 

He fiddles with the knickknacks strewn around on the simple pine dresser. Sneaks a peek in the top drawer. It’s full of row upon row of tighty-whities, not a secret to be found amongst them. He shuts it again with a sigh and moves on. To the dusty stack of magazines on the desk. There’s uncapped pens tucked next to it. The magazines are all boring. The ones with pretty girls on the covers are at the top of the pile, and the ones at the bottom are all finance mags with words crossed out and doodled over. 

He drops them haphazardly, and wanders over to the bed, perching on the edge of it.

And sitting there on the bedside table, tucked behind the clunky lamp, is a half-empty tub of Vaseline that Billy spends several minutes staring at while his brain shorts out. 

Okay. So. He knew he was probably gonna find something like that, he was kind of looking for something like that. And yet he still wasn’t prepared for real, tangible evidence that Steve Harrington lays on this very bed and touches himself. With those long fingers, slicked up and grasping desperately, lips bitten red and parted as he gasps, moans, not bothering to keep quiet when he’s all alone in the house…

Billy is both too buzzed and not buzzed enough to be doing this.

He runs his hand over the wrinkled pillowcase beside him. It’s some fancy high thread count shit, gotta be, it feels fine and delicate under his palm, soft as a summer breeze. Bet it smells just as sweet too. Like honey and clover and Steve. 

It takes him all of three seconds to throw dignity out the window—that ship pretty much sailed when he made a beeline for Steve’s room the second the front door closed behind him anyways—and lean down to bury his face in the scent. It’s everything he’s filed away under spank bank material over the years and more. All the whiffs of Steve’s shampoo he got in the locker room, the faintly lingering scent of hairspray and expensive leather, the overwhelmingly alluring musk clinging to him after basketball practice, when the collar of his shirt was askew and stuck to his damp chest, soaked with trickles of sweat that Billy wanted to chase with his tongue. 

His pillow smells like every wet dream Billy’s had since he moved to Hawkins. And all his stupid guilty fantasies about waking up next to Steve, all sunshine dappled and sleepy-eyed, gentle and domestic. Soft. 

Billy shifts a little. His briefs are damp, sticky, clinging to him in uncomfortable places, and he can’t help grinding his hips in a slow circle as heat builds low in his gut.

He’s been pent up all goddamn afternoon. Watching Steve’s long fingers as he rolled a joint, his pretty lips pursed and pink and looking so, so soft. Having to act like he wasn’t losing his fucking mind staring at the bit of chest hair peeking out of the unbuttoned collar of Steve’s stupid meticulously ironed polo shirt. And all the while, Steve had no fucking idea, sat there tapping Billy’s thigh with his socked foot, throwing a leg over his lap when Billy tried to bat him away, grinning oh-so-innocently with his dumb gorgeous face all lit up with mirth. 

Being that close to him always drives Billy fucking insane, and they spent hours like that, in each others’ space, brushing fingers when they passed the joint, Steve rubbing Billy’s hip with his heel occasionally, absently, like petting a cat you’re only half paying attention to.

Fucking maddening. 

Frustrating. 

God—

Billy turns, mussing the comforter as he moves his leg to part his knees and plant his ass right in the middle of the bed. He grips the pillow, toying with its seam, staring down at it, imagining Steve laying beneath him, his hair splayed against his pillowcase, eyes dark, his sides soft between Billy’s thighs. 

He’d slide back just a little and feel the hard bulge straining against Steve’s jeans. Rub up against him ‘til Steve begged him for more, ‘til they’re both soaking through their briefs and desperate for it.  

Billy presses into the mattress til his cock throbs and his breath hitches. 

He slides a hand under his shirt, up his own stomach, his chest, huffs a sigh when he hits smooth fabric pulled tight across. Rubbing the hard nub of his nipple through three layers of nylon and spandex is an exercise in frustration and a fucking tease. There’s a dull burn, a familiar building coil of heat, but it’s not enough. 

If he was smart he’d stay mostly clothed in case Steve gets back earlier than expected, but he’s not exactly thinking with his brain right now. He strips off his shirt in one fluid motion, tossing it behind him without looking to see where it lands, already halfway to stripping his makeshift binder off when he hears the soft thud of it hitting the floor. 

The last half is a lot of undignified wiggling to get the final sweaty layer off, but it’s worth it for the sweet bolt of pleasure that lances through him when he digs his nails into the soft skin around his nipple, and he bites his lip to stifle a groan. 

He wonders if Steve would be rough with him. Hurt him if he asked. 

Maybe he wouldn’t have to ask.

Maybe he’d sit up, his hands on Billy’s hips, pulling him closer, pressing his plush lips to Billy’s neck, his collarbone, his grip bruising but his kisses gentle, making his way down to the soft swell of Billy’s chest. And then he’d sink his teeth in. Biting, only where Billy’s always covered. Where he can’t show anybody for fear of discovery. Somewhere he can leave his own secrets safely.

Billy scrapes his blunt nails over his skin, eyes falling shut as he tries to imagine, tries to convince himself Steve’s really here, would want to touch him like this. 

He ruts against the mattress, it’s an awkward angle, hurts his knees to press so far down, but his breathing stutters every time he gets it just right.

With Steve’s scent all around him it’s almost, almost…

He grasps clumsily for the pillow, and shoves it between his legs. 

Would Steve go just as easily if Billy straddled him, framed his flushed face with muscular thighs and bore down on his waiting mouth, riding him ‘til he’s slick from nose to chin, messy and red-lipped and more than happy to stay between Billy’s trembling legs. 

Too many layers of fabric rub against each other as Billy moves, and he disentangles himself from his shorts, tossing them on the floor too. 

The backs of his knees are sweating, and his chest heaves with labored breaths. Hot, liquid pleasure buzzes in his veins, something possessive flaring in his chest when his bare skin brushes Steve’s pillowcase, blue cotton whispering against the softness of the inside of his thighs. He can smell his own sex, soaking through his briefs, his scent blending with Steve’s and making his head spin. 

He rolls the hard nub of his nipple between his fingers, pinching tight, moaning low in his throat. 

With one final, shuddering thrust, he comes, lips parted but breathless, wordless, eyes squeezed shut as it hits him in waves. 

He blinks.

The duvet is askew, as much as he smooths his hands over the corners of it he’s not sure he can put it back the way it was. He definitely can’t put the pillow back the way it was. He pulls it gingerly from it’s rumpled place between his knees, and eyes the wet patch he left right down the middle.

It should make him nervous. Fearful of discovery. 

It doesn’t.

He strokes a finger through the mess he left, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He’s still seated, catching his breath, sweaty and flushed in the afterglow, when he hears the front door open.

~~~tag list ppl @growup-thatbeautiful @spreckle

#stranger things #billy hargrove #trans billy hargrove #harringrove #pre-harringrove #a raven's writing desk #i drew this exact scenario and then wanted to write about it #i haven't finished the drawing lol

[ihatecoconut]

Lucy in the sky with Diamonds [Chapter 7]

Also on ao3!

Delirium pops back up a few days later, orange hair with one side shaved off but grown out enough to be fuzzy. It’s a Monday, so the New Inn is closed for the day and Hob is just doing some (admittedly unnecessary) handy work.

“Hi.”

“Hello. You’re back.”

Delirium nods and then, in a slightly more secretive tone, “Dream doesn’t know.”

Hob laughs, pulling himself out from under the sink and dusting off the dirt that he’s gotten himself covered in. “Yeah, he seemed a little upset last time.”

“Protective.” She supplies.

Hob frowns, confused.

“We’re not supposed to hold onto you for too long,” she explains, swinging her legs back and forth, “otherwise Dream gets mad.”

Hob leans on the bar as he processes this. “The reason I have such a high metabolism when it comes to drugs and alcohol is because… you’re scared of your brother?”

“Not scared.”

“But you… don’t want to make him mad.”

Delirium shrugs. “Death says he won’t admit—” she cuts herself off. “Nothing.”

Hob waits to see if she’s going to change her mind, and she focuses on the slightly dent in the wood of the bar. “OK. Maybe don’t imply that he wants to kiss me though? I think it made him uncomfortable.”

“Why?”

“Because he left quite soon after.” He swallows down on the part of himself that’s been in love with his stranger for longer than he could ever count, prevents the painful rejection from overtaking him and ignores any fantasies of them living a happy life together.

Delirium hums.

“And, I mean…” he pauses, gathering up the tools, “no offence, but it came from you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I mean, the idea that he might love me back is one of my delusions, right?”

She doesn’t say anything for a very long time, almost to the point that Hob is expecting her to be gone when he turns around again – she’s not, still sitting on the bar and her eyes are slightly clearer than normal, like she’s trying very hard to focus.

“Death told him once that ‘You can have your pride, or you can have the joy of close, loving relationships.’ Because he’s bad at that.” The way she mimics a voice he doesn’t know does make him want to laugh, but the random topic change is confusing him too much.

“I am sensing a ‘but’ here.” Hob tells her.

She shrugs. “You too. You hide too much of yourself from everyone.”

“To protect myself.”

“He already knows everything.”

“I know that.” The misery at having everything he wants dangled in front of him bites out at her as anger and he immediately feels guilty about it. “Sorry, I just…”

“We’re not just our names.” She tells him, instead of responding to that.

He rubs his forehead and tries to follow the threads of a conversation that keeps jumping around, “Oh?”

“We’re also the opposite, so Despair is also hope and Death is also life and Dream is also reality, you know?”

When he looks up, she’s watching him closely, waiting for him to understand something. He isn’t quite sure what, but the next question seems obvious.

“What’s your opposite?”

“It used to be sadness, very simple, and it kind of still is but now it’s actually truth.”

Hob rubs very hard at the bridge of his nose. “So you are also Truth?”

She shrugs. “Or lucidity.”

He looks back up at her, the focused look in her eyes is starting to slip away again, but he thinks he understands what she means.

“You can’t see what people want?”

“Dream can. And Desire.”

He shelves that thought hurriedly before it distracts him. “But you can see… truth? And delusions?”

“Mmhm.”

“Just my truth?”

“Truth does not change.” A voice says from behind him.

Hob turns around so fast that he nearly hits his head on the same sink he had been failing to fix. “Dream.”

Dream nods at him in acknowledgement, but his attention is focused on Delirium. “Sister, you seem tired.”

The lucidity has completely gone from her eyes now, and her irises look a little like kaleidoscopes, which Hob decides is probably not a good thing to focus on.

“Tired.” She repeats.

Dream takes a cautious step towards her. “Is there a truth you need to share?”

“The Book can change.” She replies, vacant and floating a few inches above the bar top. “He can change it.”

And then she’s gone, leaving Hob and Dream alone in the bar with many things to think about – Dream probably more than Hob, considering that he has no idea what the Book is – but instead of voicing any of his questions, Hob looks up into the face of his oldest friend.

“You could kiss me, if you wanted.”

Dream’s expression goes slack with surprise for a few moments, and he kneels down to be at the same level. “If I wanted?”

“Well, I want,” Hob tells him, “and I’m willing to share.”

The tiny smile that he has coveted for centuries makes a reappearance, but Dream does not lean in to kiss him like he hoped.

“You are filthy.”

He looks down at himself and laughs. “Yeah. Kiss me when I’m clea—”

Dream cuts him off with his mouth, leaning forward with so much force that Hob does hit the back of head on the sink, but he doesn’t let Dream pull away, even as he can feel the shape of an apology on his lips.

“This is good too,” he mumbles, sliding a hand round into Dream’s hair – it’s as soft as he always imagined, “you could join me while I clean up?”

This time Dream does pull away. His pupils have expanded to show galaxies within them and Hob is fascinated.

“I would like that. Very much.”

“OK.” He can’t stop smiling. “Never done it in a shower before, but I’m willing to try anything once.”

#sandman #the sandman netflix #sandman comics #the sandman #delirium of the endless #delirium sandman #dream of the endless #dream sandman #hob gadling #hob x morpheus #hob x dream #dreamling #sandman fanfiction

[aimportantdragoncollector]

Wow, I was expecting something like this for the ending, but somehow, I got nicely surprised anyway!

So, Cecaelia are not fully extinct eh?

For one second, I thought AFO was actually the last one. Good thing that was not truth.

Anyway, I am surprised he did not tried to have a family or something with a female Cecaelia since he lost his brother and is so alone. But maybe not even other cecaelia liked him?

Do Cecaelia have like a bunch of babies out of a bunch? Because Izuku was very tiny, and as far as I know, octopus like almost any other fish species, have like a lot of babies so the species has a bigger chance of surviving.

Also... are cecaelia better at magic that mermaids?

AFO is a biased source of information. But both species were trying to kill each other and Cecaelia seem to be (in AFO's case at least) very good in magic.

Do cecaelia live for so long? Because if they do, the chances of they getting wiped completely out is really hard, since they can hide all they want without fear of dying from old age.

And now that Toshi lost his only heir to the throne...

What's next?

Is the Yagi line going to disappear completely now?

I think it's been long enough since Sinking into the Depths finished to answer this. Full disclosure that I had a coauthor for that AU so I'm not the sole person in control of all the lure, so just consider this my own idle thoughts rather than fic canon.

All for One is a liar for the entire fic. He initially tells Izuku that he is the last of his kind to win sympathy. Also, All for One made it sound like the mers were solely responsible for wiping out the Cecaelia but his people got into a war with pretty much every other underseas species. All for One wanted to make Izuku feel more guilty and responsible. By the end All for One had trouble keeping track of his lies. Izuku was just starting to notice the inconsistences but did not figure it out in time.

All for One doesn't like other people enough to want to reproduce with one. He can create his own child and then he doesn't have to share custody. Like octopi, Cecaelia are solitary and territorial creatures. If All for One had actually been the last of his kind he would have been more urgent about reproducing but he was lying about that.

Cecaelia usually only produce one child at a time and have low fertility rates, because I believe in the common fantasy rule that immortal/long-lived species have less fertility. The Cecaelia created a spell to transform other species because it's hard for them to have children. Since Cecaelia are an intelligent race, they look after their children rather than throwing them out in the ocean and letting them survive on their own. Their babies are treasured and have a high survival rate.

Cecaelia are much stronger at magic than mer or any other race. All for One wasn't idly bragging or lying about that.

Cecaelia are nearly immortal. A good portion of the population avoided all the fighting and hid in the distant corners of the ocean so they were never truly likely to get completely wiped out.

Toshinori has no intention of giving up on Izuku and will continue to chase after his missing son. He would angrily reject anyone to tried to convince him to remarry. There are distant cousins who could inherit the throne. (Katsuki and Mirio are both in the line of succession.) However I will let the reader decide if Toshinori finds his son again. Don't write him off yet! All for One is foolish enough to flaunt that he has Izuku, and that is Toshinori's chance.

#Spoilers #Sinking Into the Depths

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Top 10 Formative Childhood Experiences:

Hmm. If I had to go with just one -- I mean that's a pretty limited perspective here -- it's something like:

1) I saw my Dad cry. (He had a terrible period of grief in high school. It was a really bad, ugly, sad time, and I felt awful for him, and also kind of guilty for causing it.)

2) There was a brief period in childhood when I wanted to read books by Isaac Asimov, the best-selling SF author. I only read a handful of Asimov books, but it felt like the best thing in the world (I guess this was a reaction to a lot of pop sci/popular SF being awful; I probably would have just accepted it if it came from someone I liked)

3) My Dad is an amazing musician and has performed professionally. I took a piano lesson from him as a kid and liked it a lot, and I have no idea why he stopped

4) There was a brief period when I was in kindergarten or grade school when I could get a paper bag and roll it down a hill and watch it float down the hill and land in a bush in my neighbor's yard. This made me happy, and I wondered if other people's eyes did this (or at least, this was a very vivid thing for me).

5) At some point, I started collecting little glass marbles, and I did not understand why other kids were not interested in them. I was always kind of sad when they came to school without marbles. (I still have them.)

6) It was sometime in middle school that I read a book that was a huge influence on me. It was called The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and it was about an English girl who was transported back in time to 15th century England, and she found that she had a very special, "magical" ability -- she could turn lead into gold. The story was all about her trying to use this power to help and "fix" the world -- and also it was all told in the style of a children's story, as if it were a fairy tale. (Her father used to collect old books with magic in them -- he would also make fake gold for other people!) I was really into magic then, and especially magical girls and superheroes, and this book was like a gateway drug to a whole world of magic.

7) I was obsessed with fantasy in a very specific way that is difficult to explain, but I think it had something to do with the feeling that fantasy worlds were an "out there," an other that you could enter into. This would come up in my life again and again as a teenager, a fascination with "being out there" and with fantasy as a metaphor for that (and also, eventually, as a fascination with "being out there" in an even more literal sense -- I was really into DMT and stuff).

8) After The Secret Garden, I read lots of fantasy books on my own. The one I loved the most was the "Voyage of the Dawn Treader," which had a cool mix of magic/magic and realism/fantasy. I still remember vividly how, when I finished the book, I sat at my desk and cried for a couple of minutes. I was really disappointed that the author seemed to think he could do what he wanted, when you were reading a children's book, and did all these things the kids would never be able to experience. I remember being very upset at the author for thinking he could write about a world where all your friends could speak every language, etc.

9) It was a kind of a similar disappointment that I felt at the end of A Wrinkle In Time, when I learned about the special powers of the other main characters. It was like... yeah, I get all of that, but at the same time, we're all stuck in this story and can't experience the outside world, etc.

10) I remember loving a lot of the early Disney animation. I remember thinking "this is a world I could totally imagine existing," etc.

#moths-in-the-window

[neowinestainedress]

DYNASTY ⮚ NCT

prev⏐ chapter thirty-four ⏐ next⏐ masterpost

warnings: semi explicit smut scene, minor body worship, minor religious undertones, oral sex (f), implied unprotected sex (wrap it up!)

genre: fantasy au, royal au, super powers au

word count: 3.172k

summary: The apparent calm that reigns in Neo City breaks into million pieces when some members of the Neos find an outsider laying unconscious in the wood. After that, everything they know stops making sense. Menace from the past come back, while they have to rule on their city knowing that the menace of Simon’s dictatorial power is closer day by day. The past they never dared to face will wash over them like impetuous waves. The present is filled with doubts, regrets and the mystery of the lost memories of the nameless girl. The future is even more uncertain.

Can you break the chain with your past even if it’s running in your bloodstream?

taglist: @saeyeoniee  @shwizhies​​ | if you want to be added let me know under the masterpost or with a message

“I don’t know what happened but you came so far since you arrived,” Sicheng praised Anastasia while he noted down her progress on the medical record. 

Anastasia smiled, swinging her feet in the air.

“I’m getting a little bit more sleep at night, guess that helps,” she chuckled. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. I still have to sleep with someone by my side but Jungwoo doesn’t mind, it helps the both of us.” Since Jungwoo found out who she really was he also insisted more to sleep together, he said that it was a way to make up for the lost time and she didn’t feel guilty anymore to sleep with him. 

“So you’re not getting nightmares anymore?”

“Not as often. It tends to happen if I’m a little bit more tense, you know. If the training doesn’t go so well and I’m nervous, but it doesn’t happen often.” 

Sicheng smiled brightly, looking up and down at her. He was proud of her. He kind of lost her in the way, Kun taking over him because he was too busy operating downtown, but he was the first one that helped her and seeing her like this warmed his heart. It was also nice to know that she was back and even after all that happened she was still incredibly strong, with lots of highs and lows, but she was still fighting.  

“You’re eating more,” Sicheng said, looking at her body. Thankfully he couldn’t see her bones anymore, her curves were starting to get back where they belonged, her face was fuller and she looked way healthier and stronger. 

“Yeah, Kun cooks for me and I can’t really say not to his food,” she confessed. It had been hard, actually, to go back on track and eat regularly without feeling nauseous. But she had to, she couldn’t go on like that, so she made an oath with Kun, and turned eating into a positive moment where she would try to just focus on the food and not think of anything else. 

“How’s training going?”

“It’s hard, I can’t believe I used to do that every day of my life,” she admitted. “But overall, I’m doing good, I mean, I’m surviving.” Anastasia wasn’t so sure about that, she was convinced that she kinda sucked and everybody was just too nice to tell her, but she knew that all those years affected her and her ability. She had been frozen in time for three years, she just couldn’t easily go back on track. 

“What are you doing now?”

“Finished working on resistance. Yuta says that I have to start working on my speed again, he said I lost it.”

“And your resistance?”

“Is good now, my muscles are back, I can run for twenty minutes now and don’t feel so tired. I used to collapse after five minutes.”

“Well, that was what you were good at, I think it’s great,” Sicheng smiled at her. She had always been the fastest of them, her speed was just like no other there but most importantly she wouldn’t get tired, her stamina was really good.

“Yep, it’s a start.” 

“And what are you focusing on? Still kickboxing?”

“Liv thinks it’s better that way, she’s convinced I can take on my speed soon, but I don’t know... I don’t feel so good at it anymore.” 

“Do you want to do something else?”

“Mph, no. The other choices are throwing blades with Yuta or shooting with Lucas and no, thanks.” 

Sicheng laughed. “Liv’s a tougher teacher than Yuta if she wants to,” 

“Yeah, I know, but I don’t really feel in my element with blades, ninja stars and throwing stuff in general. Yuta’s good at it, way too good, if I mess it up he’s going cut me in half,” Anastasia laughed it off but she was totally convinced that Yuta wouldn’t have hesitated.  

Sicheng laughed too. “C’mon, he’s not that cruel.”

“But he takes what he does very personal and I don’t want to interfere.”

“Can’t say otherwise,” he smiled, turning around and heading to the desk to look for some papers that were attached to the medical record. He then came back to her, next to the bed. 

“What if we reduce the doses of your medicine?” He proposed, and Anastasia’s eyes started shining and she started nodding like a happy child.

“Okay, you like this but please be careful,” Sicheng started to tell her. “For insomnia, no more of the other pills, but drops of melatonin before sleep,” he wrote it down on a paper. “Try to avoid alcohol, and caffeine and always keep a routine, force your brain to go to sleep at a certain hour every day and wake up on time.” He knew it wasn’t easy, there was also a severe case of depression and anxiety, and all of these together created a domino effect, but they had to try. She was getting better; she could sleep more, eat more and with an appetite, she started to have interest again, stopped having panic attacks, and also gained weight. Sicheng was positive. 

“Only this?” She asked, tone disappointed. 

“I can’t get you off of antidepressants, maybe anxiolytics, but I want to talk with Kun, first.”

“Fine, guess it’s a step forward, anyway.” 

“It is, and you’re only going to get better. I promise.”

“You’re never going to block a fist if you punch that slowly.” Jaehyun didn’t mean to stare but he had just come out of the changing room and saw Anastasia boxing at the bag box and he couldn’t stop himself to see if she had gotten better. He knew he should’ve minded his business but he couldn’t help it. And giving advice wasn’t a big deal, right? Worst of it all she would’ve told him to fuck off. 

“I can’t be faster,” she lamented, letting a harmless punch hit the box. 

“But you can be less stiff,” he said, jumping on the ring, positioning himself behind her, his body towering on her. His hands reached the gloves and forced her arms to bend more. “You’re too rigid, relax,” he noted, his breath hitting her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine. 

“I can’t,” she said, voice shaky, as she tried to fight any type of irrational thoughts that were about to fog her mind because of their proximity. 

“If you keep them like this you’re just going to hurt yourself. Trust me.” 

Anastasia nodded and tried to relax her arms the more she could. 

Jaehyun’s knee pushed her legs to bend too, unexpectedly, causing her body to fall forward. 

“I got you,” Jaehyun said as he immediately wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her body up in a firm hold. 

“You got me,” Anastasia whispered mindlessly as she regained composure.

“Your whole body is too stiff. Bend your knees more, it will be easier to move around and dodge the punches,” he said, he was still gently holding her side and when he realized it, he pulled away, taking some steps back. 

“Can we try?” She proposed, turning around. 

“You want me to fight with you?” He asked, brow furrowed. 

“Yes, you’re the best at this,” she answered as if it was the most obvious thing she could say.

“No,” he said straight away. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he added as he jumped out of the ring again and started to walk out of the door. 

But she didn’t want him to leave. “Then teach me,” she screamed, making him stop in his tracks. 

“Make me your student,” she demanded as she throw the gloves on the ground, the boxing wraps now the only thing covering her hands. 

Jaehyun turned around, their eyes intertwining in a gaze that held thousands of words, and he gulped. His legs started to walk toward her without him knowing. It was a force pulling him toward her, as always, like a magnet. 

He climbed up the ring again and stopped right in front of her, their bodies a few centimetres away.

“What do you want me to teach you?” He asked, his low voice coming out sultry in a whisper, his hand resting on her cheek. 

Her eyes looked up from his full lips to his deep brown eyes. “Teach me how to love you. Make me love you again,” she whispered, leaning closer to him, their lips almost grazing. 

 He snickered. “You’re playing unfair, it’s impossible,” he whispered, and tried to walk away but her hands clasped his hand and pulled him back where he was. 

“If I told you, it’s because I know you can. I know you can show me how to love you.”

He hesitated for a while, his chest raising more frenetically as he felt a strange sensation rise in him, a new confidence, a new attraction. 

“What do you want me to do exactly? How do you want me to show you how beautiful we were?”

“Make me fall in you, Jaehyun. Make me fall so deep that I can never come back up to the surface. Make fall so deep that I will never know another shade of blue but yours.” 

At those words, nothing could stop him anymore. He did it, he pulled her closer by her waist, their chest touching and their lips crashing against each other, eager of tasting each other again, eager of intertwining in each other like two perfect pieces of a puzzle. Jaehyun didn’t want to pull away, but the air was starting to miss, and he had to. He didn’t regret it, though, when he saw her gasping for him too, her lips already swollen from the kiss and her chest panting faster. She was beautiful, no matter where she was, whether it was in the middle of a field full of sunflowers on a beautiful day of spring or in the middle of a gym with cold grey light hitting her. 

She. 

She was everything to him. Tangled in his soul, unable to leave. His lifeline. 

And he wanted to show her. Show her how beautiful their souls were together. Remind her, that they were the ones. 

And as if she could read his mind, she pulled him close once again and whispered. “Make me yours, Yoonoh. Only yours.”

And it was the most unromantic place ever, but they couldn’t really care when her body touched the cold floor and he positioned himself on top of her, starting to kiss her collarbone, down to the hollow in her chest, to her tummy and up again. 

They could’ve rushed it, burned the moment, turned off the flame in the blink of an eye, but they wanted to savour every bit of it. 

To Jaehyun it felt like a fever dream to have her right there in front of him, ready to be so vulnerable in his hands, and the fear that she would’ve disappeared was strong, that’s why he fought it by kissing every inch of her skin. 

His lips grazed her lobe and bit on it gently, then he passed to her neck, leaving small nibbles here and there, and then his hands reached for the hem of the shirt she was wearing, lifting it up, making it meet the floor. 

Anastasia’s arms were swift at covering her body, suddenly the consciousness of having to be exposed in front of him hit her making her feel ashamed. 

“Don’t do that,” he said, reaching for her arms, trying to move them away. 

“No,” she pleaded, making him stop. “I’m full of scars,” she said, her eyes looking away. “Scars they made.”

“Then I’ll kiss every single one of them so they can heal faster,” he reassured her, gently holding her hand up, starting to remove the bandages so that her hands would be completely free. 

She looked back at him, eyes gleaming, her heart warm. Tears at the brim of her eyes. 

“You’ll love me even if they stayed there forever?” She asked in a shaky voice. Her eyes moved up and down to him and his hands that were touching her so delicately as if she was a fragile jewel, cautious of not even grazing it. And to her, it seemed absurd, because she was. She was bruised, marked, and broken, not a single glimpse of light coming out of all her cracks. But Jaehyun could see it, the light, the gold that was still there, buried underneath all of the dust and ashes. And she loved the way Jaehyun was looking at her, because she was sure that if she looked at herself with his eyes, she would’ve loved the sight. And dumbly enough, she needed somebody that loved her in the way she couldn’t love herself. And she knew that what was happening was a little selfish because she still wasn’t feeling the same for him, she was working on it and she was once again asking for him to be patient, and lead her back into his heart.

“I love you, and you’re not defined by the scars drawn on you.” It was the very bare minimum, she knew that, but she found incredible comfort in those words. The nth proof that he really had waited for her and always would’ve done that, no matter what she would’ve looked like, or how much time would’ve changed her. 

“But if you let me to, I’ll also love every inch of your body to remind you how beautiful you are,” he continued, his lips leaving invisible kisses on a scar right under her left collarbone. “No matter how long it’ll take for your skin to heal from the bruises, I’ll still love the way it feels under my fingertips, so smooth.” 

Anastasia let her head roll back, finally letting herself go at the sensation of his hands running up and down her body, touching it in a way nobody else could ever. It was nice, no, it was so fucking good to have his big cold hands exploring her skin as if it was an unknown land that he needed to map. Going so deep under her skin, turning her inside out. 

And before she could notice, a small moan rolled out of her lips just when he started playing with her left nipple, taking it in his mouth and then letting it go, the contrast of his warm mouth and the cold air making her shiver. 

“Let me get rid of this,” Jaehyun said pushing her pants down to her ankles and then on the floor, somewhere behind them, where her shirt and bra were laying since before. 

“Come closer,” Ana beckoned him, and as soon as he did, she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling their lips in a heated kiss again. 

Her hands were swift at reaching for the hem of his shirt and lifting it off, discharging it on the pavement, desperately touching his toned back and scratching it when Jaehyun thrust his clothed boner against her core. 

“Fuck,” she breathed out, biting her lips to suppress more sounds to come out. But that was enough to make her struggle with the belt of his pants to hurriedly get rid of them too. She needed to feel him for real. 

“Getting greedy?” He teased, now romance was getting surpassed by lust and need. 

“Can you blame me when I have you?” She asked, trying to push his pants and boxer down. 

“Let me do it,” he said, getting up to get rid of his clothes. 

Anastasia tried to hold him close to her but before she could do anything he was already lowered down with his head between her legs. 

His hot breath came in contact with her covered heat, while his hands were holding her thighs up, caressing their back in small circles with his thumbs. And he wasn’t doing anything, yet, she felt close to melting. Maybe it was because it was a familiar sensation she hadn’t felt in years, or maybe it was because she didn’t feel a touch so nice, gentle and loving in ages, too used now to slaps, punches, syringes and knives. Or probably it was the sense of reassurance that in the end, it was always him, and he knew all the right buttons to push. Whatever it was the reason, she loved it.

That’s why, as much she wanted to look at him, she couldn’t force herself to do that. It felt too good when his lips started to work on her slowly, but intensely, and with a dedication that felt religious. 

She lifted her upper body, standing on her elbows and took in the sight in front of her. Somehow, he managed to look breathtaking even in this situation, head almost buried between her thighs, hair falling on his forehead and his intense gaze staring right at her eyes like a hunter with his prey. She felt a rush rise in her stomach, and a louder moan escaped her lips. There was nothing rough behind his movement, but it was so intense that she was already feeling on the bridge of an orgasm. Jaehyun was drinking her in as if she was the most precious wine. Jaehyun was worshipping her, eyes fixed on hers, screaming unspeakable words, holy and unholy, the sacred meeting the profane, spilling curses and praises, scratches marking what was crafted by the Highest. 

And just when she thought she could carry a little bit longer, his fingers, buried deep inside of her, doing God’s work, combined with his soft plump lips, pushed her right over the edge. A jolt, so good, that she felt her thighs tremble, and her hand clamped in his hair, pushing him away. 

Jaehyun stared at her; eyes closed, eyelids slightly fluttering, chest panting heavily, moving up and down at a frenetic speed that was slowly starting to come down, lips red and swollen, hair stuck to her forehead and neck. The most beautiful of angels stained with sin. 

“Do you still want more?” He asked, his body towering over her completely, his hands at the side of her face. “Can you take more?” His voice was sultry and low, filled with a lust that was never there in his usual tone. 

Anastasia looked up, nodded and then tried to kiss him, but he backed up. 

“What do you want, love? I need to hear you.” 

“You,” she said, breathlessly. “I want you.” 

A smile crept on his face, he lowered his head to kiss her, bit her lower lip and pulled away. 

“No other shade of blue?” He asked, lining himself at her entrance, his left hand on her hip, making circles, right on top of the tattoo. He wanted to be sure that this promise would be forever, that this time nothing would’ve separated them. He wanted to be sure that this wasn’t just a random night of passion but a vow. 

“No other shade of blue,” she confirmed, her fingers intertwining in his hair.  No, no other pain, would’ve pulled them away. 

#nct fanfiction #nct fantasy au #nct royal au #nct u #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv

[tipsygeek]

So I just finished running Pathfinder 2e's The Slithering with my group, and I have thoughts. If you're a player, maybe don't read this?

It's a long read, so I dunno, get your coffee first or something.

The Slithering spoilers ahead.

You've been warned.

My players bought this book for me because we all thought the premise was really cool, and I still think it is! What's cool about it?

Takes place in Kibwe in the Mwangi Expanse

No humans allowed (go crazy my furry friends)

The stakes are really high (the city is afflicted by a curse that transforms people into ooze!)

Starts at level 5!

I read through the whole thing and thought "Welp, this'll need some serious TLC." Because this adventure starts at level 5 rather than level 1, the characters should either 1) have some downtime to get to know one another, 2) already know one another. The adventure gives zero opportunity for this.

So I added an introductory chapter and background elements:

All characters had been part, when they were going, of a sort of school/orphanage situation

While they did not necessarily know one another (they could) or have strong ties, they all had a reason to be in Kibwe: their former headmistress was getting married

The adventure started weeks before the first case of Slithering

They had friendly NPCs they could go to.

I could introduce Tomil and his sliminess (intended) ahead of time.

The intro, that enabled them to test out their characters, get acquainted with other characters, and start working as a group was "find the lady's future husband, mister got lost in the jungle."

After that intro, they got to the marketplace where the adventure actually starts.

And here's why it's so important: the first fight, against black puddings, is motherfucking hard!

Actually most fights are. This adventure is pretty brutal tbh. This was a recurring theme until the end.

A problem I've encountered, mostly running this game on Fantasy Grounds, is that several encounters did not have maps, including the first one. At a table I can "guesstimate" a decent map for a market or a temple, but I can't really improvise on Fantasy Grounds. Other adventures (i.e. Quest for the Frozen Flame) are much better at giving maps even for tiny, seemingly innocuous fights.

Once the adventure started, we had a lot of fun with encounters that were not combat (helping the medics, the debate with the fearmongerer, etc.) Along the end of Chapter 1, after a long dungeon crawl, I also added a bit of a sidequest with the Boggards to change the pace a little.

Every single part of this book is met with a very glaring problem (super obvious in part 2):

The party is on a very limited time frame (they're racing against a curse)

It's impossible to complete the dungeons in a single run so they need to rest (and feel guilty doing so by YMMV)

There is no mechanism for what happens when they go in and out of the dungeons, how the denizens react

So I had to improvise A LOT. I've got nothing against improvising but it was just... a lot of raking my brains lol

Finally, after all this, I basically cut the last chapter by 80%. I had issues with it and didn't think it brought enough to the story, it was just like one of their excessively long final dungeons in JRPGs. My issues with last chapters were:

Definitely against the clock (now they're racing a statue THAT DOESN'T STOP)

Same map as the last "dungeon in chapter 1" but different denizens

The motivations of the denizens make no sense because the bad guy actually died before the adventure began

Final note on my apparently lengthy list of complains: a lot of enemies are fought over and over and over again. Oozes (I guess that makes sense), cultist, Athovians... it becomes tedious and difficult to make fights interesting after the third or fourth fight. There could have been more balance.

THAT BEING SAID! We had a lot of fun, I have an amazing group who built the story and each other up. It's doable, but as a GM I found this adventure to be the not-fun kind of challenge. If you ever are interested in running and want to know more about my setbacks or experience, hit me up!

#pathfinder2e #pathfinder #pathfinderrpg #the slithering #game master #ttrpg #adventure review

[oversizedbats]

*jazz hands* 1-20 😏♥️ *finger guns*

LMAOOOO GIGI

1, 12, 19, 20 are here so I guess I'll entertain you and answer the rest here. But since you decided to be a menace I feel I need to put it under the cut

Ask game if anyone else wants to play but i'm answering all of them now i guess LOLL

2. top 5 books of all time?

AH um ok so it's going to be one of the ACOTAR books (could change depending on the day but it basically just flips between ACOWAR and ACOSF), A Rogue of One's Own (you already know how near and dear that one is), Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage (the best portrayal of loneliness I've ever read and came to me at a time when I really really needed that), Beartown, and Fangirl.

Subject to change wildly

3. what is your favourite genre?

Flip flops between Fantasy and Romance. Right now I'm solidly in my romance era but it comes and goes between the two.

4. what sections of a bookstore do you browse?

I LOVE the endcaps and themed tables those are absolutely my favorites but I usually skim the romance aisle and general fiction as well

5. where do you buy books?

I mostly get my physical books from Barnes & Noble & Book of the Month. A ton of the books I read are from Libby though so I don't own nearly as many as I've read.

6. what books have you read in the last month?

Since April 15th (my birthday <3) I've read

House of Hollow

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me

The Dinner

Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover

The Atlas Six

The Bromance Book Club

Teach Me

A Good Girl's Guide To Murder

And I'll probably finish Gild today

7. is there a series/book that got you into reading?

There have been a few over time as my reading habits have fluctuated. The Warriors Series was a big one that got me into reading as a kid, Divergent got me back into it in my early teens, ACOTAR and Throne of Glass didn't really get me into reading since I was already into it at the time but they did make me excited about it again after that excitement had kind of faded for a bit (like late high school).

But the thing that got me MOST into reading again was COVID LOL. I was too busy (and also clinically depressed lol) for much reading in 2018/2019, I read 18 books in 2018, 36 in 2019, 77 in 2020, and 100 in 2021 lol. So even now that I do have to leave my apartment again I'm still reading more than I ever have before so that's stuck around (honestly though it's probably also bc I found my bookish people on the internet <3)

8. what is the first book you remember reading yourself?

BAHAHA oh my god this question. I don't remember the title but we had this picture book where there were a bunch of stuffed animals in a classroom that taught themselves to read from the posters on the wall LOL. It was kind of meta bc it was like a book about learning to read but I loved that book and felt SO accomplished when I could read it to my parents instead of the other way around so that was probably the earliest memory I have of reading a book (although to reference Nick Miller maybe I just memorized the words LOL I don't remember). For chapter books the earliest I can remember is either a Junie B. Jones or Magic Treehouse book but I don't know which one I read first

9. when do you tend to read most?

On weekends bc i have a job >:( so weekends and evenings. I also try to read a lot when I'm at the airport/flying or riding in a car.

10. do you have a guilty fav?

Not really, I feel like I try to avoid the idea of "guilty pleasures" in general so nothing comes to mind. Like. Maybe ACOTAR bc I acknowledge it's kind of a dumpster fire these days but I still wouldn't classify it as a "guilty" fave obviously.

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

I do enjoy non-fiction from time to time! I absolutely ADORED The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green and Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer they both are so special to me. I've also read some really great memoirs like The Glass Castle and I'm really looking forward to Jennette McCurdy's memoir coming out this year.

13. do you have a goodreads?

I do and some of you have found it. I don't write reviews on there so have fun guessing how i felt about a book from my star review only LOL.

14. do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?

No. I used to dog ear like SUPER tiny but I don't anymore bc there are too many cute bookmarks in the world for that. I don't write in my books either, I tried that as well but it didn't feel like it added anything to the experience for me. The farthest I've gone recently is tabbing a book and that was only ACOSF and that was only so I could get back to my favorite parts faster LOL

I'm very much a "a little wear and tear is fine but I'm not going out of my way to make this look beat up" reader so no marking or dogearing and no spine cracking unless it happens on it's own. I try to respect people who purposefully beat up their books but I also sometimes i feel like they do it for outrage bait on tiktok LMAO

15. recommend and review a book.

I don't feel like writing a review but the last book I recommended to someone was The Wall of Winnipeg and Me so we'll go with that (i recommended it to my boss <3)

16. how many books have you read this year?

32 right now, will be 33 before the end of the day since i'm almost done with gild

17. top 5 children’s books?

Gah I don't even know. I liked Warriors, Little House on the Prairie, Harry Potter, Magic Treehouse & Diary of a Wimpy Kid as a Youth but I don't know if i would say they're in the top 5 like bold of anyone to assume I remember who I was as a child LOL

18. do you like historical books? which time period?

I obviously have a recent soft spot for regency romances <3. Other than that I do read historical fiction but I don't tend to gravitate towards any particular time period.

there's the end of the list, hope you're satisfied gigi

#ask game #gigi tag

[concupiscentrabbit]

…

Daddy knowing full well I was naughty and got high again and fell asleep all curled up and so easily accessible. Him starting to grope me and fondle me in my sleep as I whine and start to stir. He wakes me up by hitting my ass hard and I come alive with a yelp.

I’m still high waking up, and I don’t know if it’s a dream or reality so I just whine into my Squishmallow. He hits me again and asks me if I know why I’m being punished. I feel far away but embarrassed and guilty and afraid.

I admit that I do and he asks what, and I reply how I’m meant to, “for being high and getting naughty” and he calls me a good boy and hits me again. Repeatedly. Hard. He pulls my clothes down and gives a disappointed tut at how wet I am. Saying I’m such a naughty boy. Which makes me feel horrible and I start to cry.

He points out that I love being bent over his knee like this and I whine. He says I love it when he spanks me hard until I start sobbing from pain. I whine and shift my hips against his hands desperate for something inside of me. I want his thick fingers fucking into me until I squirt as he overstimulates my g-spot and clit at the same time.

I don’t know why my fantasy isn’t letting him fuck me but I want him to. I wanna go limp as he fucks me harshly from behind while hitting my ass over and over until it bruises.

Hhhhhbut he could cane me. I love it. I don’t even remember when I started getting off to it. It was rare I’d ever mistakenly act out in a way that deserved a caning. I was well behaved and had a very guilty conscience. And I’d only purposefully acted out for it once and was so aroused that I felt too guilty to ever act out on purpose just to have him cane me.

But I loved when he did. He’d usually have moved on from a hand spanking to a humiliating bottomless spanking to caning my ass. I’m almost glad he did it hard to prevent me from getting hard because it always felt so good. I’d need to stifle my moans.

And then I’d pull my clothes up and sit on my knees in front of where he was sitting. God no wonder I ended up wanting to sleep with this man. He’d cane my legs and I was usually allowed to just desperately grip at my clothing from the pain. He’d keep going until I started to bruise.

I need to touch myself so bad. I need it so bad. Afterwards he’d lift me up on the couch and tend to my wounds. That it was all for my own good and that I just needed to try harder. He was plenty cruel during even this but it was kind too. I liked the kindness and affection.

One time he locked me out and when morning came he let me back in and caned me hard. I had been in the cold all night so my skin was a bit damaged and hurt even more when he hit me. But afterwards he had a change of clothes and hot cocoa for me.

The bruises on my legs would stay a while. My shorts would usually cover them and I’m ashamed to admit this but I would be studying at my desk at home and I’d press my fingers into the bruises. I couldn’t ever help a moan I had to immediately stifle. It just felt so good. I tried to keep my focus studying but I couldn’t help prodding at my sore bruises.

Later that night when Vati was asleep I laid in my bed shuddering with arousal. I pressed my fingers into the bruises he’d left punishing me and gasped into my hand. I just kept prodding and pushing at them. It hurt and ached but my hips kept twitching and. I hadn’t done anything but grind against nothing and yet I was already so turned on I was hard.

I couldn’t help it. I really couldn’t. I started grinding against my hand until it started feeling so good I had to stop for a second. I really like stopping entirely and abruptly and then stopping for thirty minutes and then continuing again in a loop like that. If I had a lot of time I’d do that, but I couldn’t at night because I needed to sleep…

But I’d still edge myself… just a little bit. Because it feels so good being denied. I don’t even hate to love it. I genuinely love it. It feels so good. Because I know I just have to do a little better and a little more to deserve it. I just need to earn it.

I’d stop myself from coming at least three times before slipping my hand into my pants. I’d bite my lip so my hand covering my mouth could be used instead to press into the bruises. I almost came when I pressed on a particular tender spot while I was rubbing hard with a lot of pressure on the shaft of my cock. I had to sit up by this point.

I remember shaking so bad my bed shook slightly which terrified me but I couldn’t stop my hand anymore. I punched the bruise hard and I came like that…

I’m embarrassed…

I got so off topic, but maybe Vati wouldn’t even fuck me after he caught and punished me being high and naughty. Maybe he’d just watch me cry knowing I wanted it but would never dare ask. But later that night he could sneak into my room knowing I’d be quietly touching myself. He’d flick on the light just as I was finally done edging myself so I’d be unmistakably moaning and making an undeniably aroused expression…

I can just imagine my heart dropping down to my stomach as I see his expression… I’d be scared I was going to get punished again and in a sense I would be… he’d tell me to get up and explain what I was doing…

I’d have to show him properly, right… I want him to call me a whore and a slut for knowing how to get myself off. I must do it a lot to come so easily. Or I’m just a needy slut who loves being touched.

I’d admit I don’t do it often and I’m just… and trail off and he’d tell me to say clearly what I am and I’d need to admit I’m just a needy slut who wants so badly to get touched by his Vati…

If he could offer to fuck me then…….. or just take me…

[pastelwitchling]

Some of my recent reads:

The Sinner's Gamble (The Perdition Club #1) by Merry Farmer

⭐⭐⭐.75

This was a fun time. I do appreciate how it doesn't pick one side of an argument as so many books tend to do nowadays, but kind of nods in respect to both, which I felt was SO refreshing. Yeah, not much else to say, just an enjoyable read.

The Girl from the Sea by Molly Knox Ostertag

⭐⭐⭐

I forgot to write a review for this, so here we go real quick.

Ummm. Honestly, this was pretty underwhelming for the most part. It was boring, and then the parts that weren't were just unlikeable. I couldn't feel for any of the characters on any level because they didn't feel remotely real, the main character seemed too rude for my liking, she made assumptions and treated people poorly, even her mom who actually seemed really sweet, and then it finally picks up in the last bit when they're on the yacht. Otherwise, it was rushed, there weren't any funny or fun moments, but I do like how it ended and that final plot twist I didn't see coming was pretty cute.

So yeah, not something I'd pick up again but definitely worth satiating my curiosity.

Mages and Mechanisms (Jak & Leander #1) by Devin Harnois

⭐⭐.5

This book... infuriated me 😂 I hate this thing some authors do when they create a high fantasy, but it feels more like urban fantasy with a few things changed in the background. Sorcery of Thorns did it, and this one does it, too. Outside of certain phrases, it's JUST Victorian London. There is NO depth to anybody except maybe Jak and the Baroness, and honestly, Leander is just plain detestable.

He just annoyed me at first for how unwilling he was to do anything. I have severe anxiety, too, and I would understand his hesitance to do some things if he displayed any sort of passion towards his own craft, but we don't even spend any time or focus on the actual creations he makes. It's all so flat, just like his cute little family that's clearly just there to present this contrast to a wild, solo traveler like Jak, but have no personalities or depth to them either.

Even when Leander comes to visit Jak in prison and there's the strong possibility that he'll be killed soon, Leander is more concerned that the guard will see them holding hands. Wow, what a self-serving character. And it wouldn't have bothered me so much if there was any growth, but he stays this insufferable for the entire story. I admit I liked the way he decided to save Jak at the end despite the costs, but a) it comes out of nowhere, and b) it's in the last two chapters that he finally grows a spine. That's waaaay too late in the day. When he found out Jak lied about his license, he dismissed EVERYTHING Jak did and risked for him, and didn't even try giving him the benefit of the doubt. I get he felt hurt, but to scream at him and act all wounded even as Jak was getting taken away to who knows where? Even Jak had his unlikeable moments where it felt like he went back on his growth. Like after he brought the dragon to life and didn't care about who it might kill? He only went after it because Leander made him feel guilty about it, not any moral compass. Oh, but he respected the spirits' genders so he's... a good guy, I guess?

The writing is pretty bad. The story seems like it's set sometime in the 1800s, and yet people constantly talked like they would in the modern day, especially Jak. It's not progressive, it's just jarring. I ended up liking the Baroness because she was tough in spite of the time period she was in, but the way Jak's written, it just ignores all those rules, so it just constantly yanks me out of the story. It's just not very good, in my opinion.

Vow of Thieves by Mary E. Pearson

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Oh my GOSH, I knew there was a reason I'd waited so long to get into this one.

After the first book completely swept me off my feet and had me sitting up at 3 am with a flashlight to finish, I knew the second one would have its hooks in me from beginning to end. And it absolutely, one hundred percent DID.

Beginning to end.

I even loved the Ballengers so much this time around, ALL of them, which had been what knocked down the rating for me in the first book. I just really, really, really didn't like Priya or Gunner, and after what they did to Kazi, I knew that I could not let go of that hate until they begged for forgiveness, risked their lives for my darling girl, and redeemed themselves in ways I couldn't even fathom. And to their credit, they really did. I ended up truly loving all of them.

Mason was getting a little annoying with the way he treated Synové, but I think that was fixed in a very cute way in the epilogue.

Jase and Kazi. I'm not a huge literary couple shipper, but I can't believe how much I love and ship these two. If I'd been annotating this book (which I only wasn't because I'd borrowed it from the library and only bought a physical copy halfway through), I would've run out of pink for all the romantic, swoonworthy moments.

Jase was so hot it hurt. Kazi was so cool and loveable, I'm SO glad she finally got the respect and love she deserved. The writing was impeccable as always, the action and worldbuilding astounding, and the love story... I can't, I just can't, I would die for them in a heartbeat.

Sink or Swim (RELIC #2) by Maz Maddox

⭐⭐⭐⭐.25

Man, what a freaking BLAST. I'll be honest, I mostly started reading because I was hoping to get more of Dalton and Simon. I loved their book so much that I not only bought a physical copy, but also wrote in the bonus story in those blank pages at the end. With pink ink!

But wow. I loved Baha in the first book, but he absolutely killed me in this one. He's so cool, so protective, so caring, and so freaking funny. I loved Jackson, too, I loved their interactions, I both hated and loved Colin, which I don't think makes any sense unless you read Colin 😂 What an idiot, but he sure made me laugh.

I couldn't believe I'd had over 60 highlights at the end, but yeah, I loved so much in this book. Also, a third of those are just passing mentions of Dalton because you better believe that every single time he came up, I just went, "Dalton! 🥰🥺😍😚🥰💗"

I can't wait to start the third. I love RELIC, I love how much presence all of those characters have, I love how you can FEEL their agelessness in the writing. Hilarious, swoony, wonderful work yet again.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book was so much fun.

I will say though, the writing does not warrant 4 stars half the time, in my opinion. Mostly in terms of Alosa's abilities. The girl has no weaknesses whatsoever (unless you count her pride and arrogance as a weakness), and she reminds us of how absent she is of those weaknesses or flaws every chance she gets. Every other page or so, she'll present an impossible solution to a problem only to tell you that "psshh, I could obviously do this impossible task, it's really easy for me, but I just don't have the time." She's always "sighing" or "bored" at the threats of violence. Get it? Because she's so much of a badass, and nothing could possibly faze her?

It wasn't unbearable, but it did get silly after a while because I'm just personally sick of authors acting like a woman showing fear makes her weaker somehow? Or if she struggles with something, then it makes her less than? I just so wholeheartedly hate this whole outlook, and I think female characters deserve more than that. However, I had gone in expecting a narrative along these lines because I'd already heard about the plot to this author's other book, The Shadows Between Us, and while I don't see myself ever reading that, I did come right out of watching the live-action The Little Mermaid and was dying for some nautical stories. I guess the only really frustrating thing is that, if not for the repetition of how capable she was of doing every single difficult task and telling us how strong she was instead of just showing us (lack of feelings don't make you stronger, in my opinion, they make you weaker), this truly would've been near 5 stars.

I also think that the fact that she could see people's emotions was out of left field and a little... ridiculous. I mean, it's just soooo un-siren-y. AND they all talked like they were near their 30s, I have no idea why this is ya, it should clearly be adult. Speaking of, there were also moments just spelled out for us when we really didn't need it.

Like when the captain tells Alosa that his ship was full of dirty men and they hadn't made port in a while? But then she says, "Yeah, it means they haven't been to a whorehouse lately" and it's like... yeah, no, I got it. No need for the elaboration, I understood. But whatever.

That said, I liked Alosa fine 😂 Yeah, the constant reminders of how perfect she was got a bit annoying, but she had sympathy. I think being told about the endurance tests her father put her through was a really good way of justifying just how much she could do and handle, and I like that she wasn't this senseless killing machine. She had compassion, she was kind when the situation allowed it, she cared. You understood her anger, but it was also easy to understand her other decisions and thought processes as well.

On that note, I loved the romance. I think it was really well done where they clearly weren't suddenly obsessed with each other, which I really appreciate. The slow-burn of their relationship made so much sense and progressed at such a great pace so that you could see them only really start to acknowledge their feelings for each other at the end. I assume the second book has a lot more focus on the relationship, but for now I'm very satisfied with what we got.

Enwyn. No note, I just think he was very funny and sweet. I love Alosa destroying Riden's room, that was hilarious, and how sneaky she was. I loved her doing things just to piss the pirates off, which they deserved, and I loved the moments between her and Riden on that island, I loved how he was the one thing more important to her than her own pride. Very swoony.

I was very pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this, and I'm sure the second will definitely have even more pleasant moments to offer.

I Hear the Sunspot: Limit, Volume 2 by Yuki Fumino

⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

This volume was by far the best, in my opinion. Again, I do feel like the plot progresses painfully slowly in that it feels like so much happens in the volumes that just skirts the romance so that it's like we're just watching people go to work every day and nothing's really happening. That said, I also feel like the characters are likeable enough and the interactions between the two love interests are cute enough that I think this story can get away with taking things slow. I certainly enjoyed it, and I can't wait to read the rest.

#rin reads #vow of thieves #i hear the sunspot

[ryuzakemo128]

Moved by Love and Glory

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Marianna (Female Reader)

Genre: Sci-Fi / Horror / Fantasy

Rating: M - Recommended for ages 15+

Prompt(s): "I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure you'll find him soon." + "I guess my expectations were too high." + "Understand that we do this so you don't have to. You have more to live for." + "Don't do that. Don't shut down on me."

Prompt List: Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four

Masterlist: Link

1983 - Hawkins, Indiana

"I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure you'll find him soon." Galina said to Joyce Byers. The mother of the young child that was reported missing a few days ago. Things like that never happened in that small town. It felt like nothing at the time and Galina was trying to offer Joyce Byers some semblance of hope amidst the despair of her missing child. She wanted to reassure her that the town was still safe and that the odds were still in their favor of finding the child.

Marianna couldn't remember much else from that year, beyond studying and looking absolutely suspicious in the park with Kolya. Even though her memories were hazy, Marianna would never forget the thrill of their secret rendezvous. She would never forget the fear of being caught, and the bond of friendship that was forged between them. Until she found out she had to repeat grade ten. Mainly due to going back forth from Russia. Despite the risks, their secret rendezvous had created a strong connection between the two, and Marianna would remember those moments fondly despite the fact that they had ultimately led to her having to repeat her tenth grade year.

"I guess my expectations were too high." Koyla said melodramatically which just confused Marianna. She felt like she was a child that spilt chocolate milk all over the car seat after promising that she wouldn't. Koyla had expected a different outcome than what actually happened and was disappointed. Marianna was reminded of a time when she had let Koyla down and had to face the consequences of her actions.

Which stopped her from talking to him for a few months afterwards out of the pure fear that maybe she had disappointed him in some kind of way. This made her feel so guilty that she couldn't bring herself to face him, leading to a period of estrangement between them. For at least four months, maybe even longer.

1986 - Hawkins, Indiana

"Understand that we do this so you don't have to. You have more to live for." Marianna said to Eddie, Steve, Dustin and Max. Nothing they said to her sounded weird to her.

"I know this sounds weird," Dustin said.

"It doesn't. I've seen it before. Nothing you could have said would have sounded weirder." Marianna replied, "I told you time and time again, I've been on the other side of those gates and I have said that it's not a pretty site." Marianna is trying to emphasize the point that she has seen the area outside of the gates and knows what it looks like. She is trying to make the point that it is not a pleasant sight and that no amount of words can describe it adequately.

"What was it like?" Dustin asked her.

"It looks like this side, but it looks dead, dark and dismal. Which doesn't even come close to describing it. As I can only remember what happened while I was there." Marianna explained to them. "So please tell me how you plan on doing whatever this is."

Dustin had a huge grin and ran off to tell Eddie while Marianna hoped that no one would die on the way there or on the way back. If anyone should die she believed it should be both her and Kolya. Her because of the things she had done in the past and Kolya, just for good measure. She felt that if anyone should pay for their sins, it should be her and Kolya because they had done things that had caused pain and suffering to others. She felt that if they died, it would be a form of justice.

"Don't do that. Don't shut down on me." Eddie said to her as he grabbed her shoulders to get her attention and to focus.

The only thing Marianna could say to him was "God you're so pretty right now." Eddie was trying to get Marianna to talk to him and open up, but she seemed to be shutting down instead. His attempt to get her attention seemed to be working, as she was now admiring him.

#Stranger Things #stranger things #Stranger Things Imagine #stranger things imagine #Stranger Things Drabble #stranger things drabble #Stranger Things Fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #Stranger Things Fanfic #stranger things fanfic #Stranger Things Angst #Angst #stranger things angst #Stranger Things Fluff #stranger things fluff #Fluff #Eddie Munson #Dustin Henderson #Steve Harrington #Nancy Wheeler #Robin Buckley #Female Reader #Fem! Reader #F! Reader #Eddie Munson x Female Reader #Eddie Munson x F! Reader #Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader #Eddie Munson Angst #Eddie Munson Fluff #Eddie Munson Fanfiction

[ecumenicallymaroon]

31/5/22

I’m trying to avoid saying “I’m tired” here because I feel like that doesn’t really convey anything. I may as well write, “I am an adult.” It just doesn’t mean anything.

Last night I watched Man Up, a 2015 romcom with Simon Pegg and Lake Bell. It’s a massive comfort film - I wouldn’t call it a particularly great film, but it’s just lovely.

I have a real guilty pleasure for books and movies about 20/30-somethings living in London. I sort of wish I’d been able to do the whole “Young London Professional” thing. I never pursued it when I was younger due to a whole variety of factors around different choices I made, but part of it was that I told myself I wasn’t ambitious enough to make it work. That is the only reason that was really just not legit. It turns out, when my life is not sucked down into a depression hole, I’m very driven and ambitious.

I’m OK with not living in London, but I don’t like where I live now. We stay mainly because it’s one of the cheapest areas in the country to live, but it’s kind of a shithole. So many drug addicts. I can have compassion for them to an extent, but there’s been too many Incidents that have ended up with my safety being at risk. So I just avoid them now. I feel bad and kind of guilty about it, but one of those guys tried to push me into traffic once and spent way too long yelling nonsense directly into my face. And I was literally just trying to use the pedestrian crossing so I could go to work.

I really want to go and visit London soon. Just spend the day wandering around art galleries and coffee shops.

Before covid, my friend Anne and I had arranged to go to London for a day, but then covid, so we never did. I don’t know if I want to try that again, given what happened the other day. I don’t feel as upset about feeling left out as I did a couple of days ago, but I still don’t feel great about it. Even if it wasn’t a personal slight (and I doubt that it was), it still made me feel shaken.

Which, by the way, I absolutely hate. I am definitely still carrying every bit of that “I need to just be a fucking grown up and stop caring about this, this is high school shit” energy. I know I get left out of things. I just hate seeing the photo evidence that nearly all my friends are having fun doing stuff I love, without me.

I’ve been reading more lately. I read Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor (really enjoyed that one, will read the next in the series), started but didn’t finish The Silence of the Girls by Pat Barker (too much rape and sexual abuse and misogyny for me. It was very well written and I think an objectively good book that is making a point ABOUT misogyny rather than BEING misogynist, but all I hear about at work all day is sexual violence and the ways in which women have been abused by men and society, so I don’t want to read about it in my off time), read Uprooted by Naomi Novik (which was fabulous, I absolutely adored it), and last night started The Gilded Ones by Namina Forna. So far I have mixed feelings about it - again, girls dealing with misogyny in fantasy novels is just not fun for me, but I do love a good female warrior, so I’ll see where it takes me.

I didn’t read much for a long time as an adult. As a kid and teen, I read voraciously. I read like I would die if I didn’t. I think both a sign and a cause of depression in me is the lack of reading.

A List of Some Books I Love

The Anne of Green Gables series

The Emily of New Moon series

Lord of the Rings

The Hobbit

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

Jane Eyre

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall

Little Women

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

The Count of Monte Cristo

A Court of Silver Flames (divisive! But I was immediately interested in Nesta from book one. Like calls to like haha, cringe)

Howl’s Moving Castle (unpopularly, I hate the film)

Someone asked me what sorts of books I like, and it’s so annoying but I genuinely will read nearly anything, and my favourites are a really broad spectrum. I think something I’m noticing is that I don’t enjoy books wherein societal enforced misogyny is a major theme. Even in my favourite books where misogyny is present and a theme, there’s always a subversion of it. Or an unwillingness to be defined by it.

#diary #livejournal #journal #booksbooksbooks #booklr #bookaddict #films #movies #lord of the rings

[rogueemmy]

I'm having a cultural clash that I never expected to encounter. It's a bit of a so-called "first world problem" and might even sound like a humble brag, but I swear I don't know how to navigate where I am.

I have the flu. At "you're how old?" I've taken my first ever flu test (alongside a COVID test) and the machine spit out a + symbol. I'm now on anti-viral meds to fight it, as well as a few others for symptoms. I have insurance (now) and all but my copay is covered. My (current) job has paid sick days. (And yes, European readers, I'm in the U.S.)

I only went aggressive on the doctor for two reasons. First, we take a daily health assessment at work - a gift from Covid tracking. My temp was too high to pass. Second, I called out today on what is literally my first day back from a short vacation granted during a black out period. Honestly, I felt I needed to prove I was sick enough to stay home. None-the-less, I felt guilty all day, despite feeling like garbage.

As a kid, hell, most of my adult life, I've had no medical insurance of any kind - or some with insane copays and deductibles that felt like having no insurance. You simply did not go to the doctor unless you were all but dead. I'm well versed the uses of over the counter meds and leveraging them to deal with most common ailments. I had to teach my adult daughter how the health care system works, for she had almost no examples growing up. You have to soldier on, suck it up and do what is expected of you - no matter what.

My supervisor's boss is a work friend. She texted to ask how I was feeling. Told her about my flu test, my meds, and that I already felt much better. (My temp spiked again a few hours later, but that's not my point.) She chatted with our Department head, he decided I needed at least one more day off. (Frankly, I likely should take a couple - I'm really feeling it tonight.)

I KNOW I'm letting "everyone" down. (Honestly, I'm training a person for my role, so I'm really only burdening her with running before she can walk, and my supervisor with overseeing her work.) I know I wouldn't believe a "sick excuse" right after a vacation if I were my boss. I am fully aware I have an overinflated sense of personal responsibility, I do not give myself the grace I grant others.

It is a radical concept to simply go take care of my health needs. It is beyond comprehension that I'm being actively encouraged to take sick time - I've been badgered and begged to come in when calling off sick in other roles before. I feel grossly out of my element - and somehow I'm pressuring myself, willing myself to get better fast and make it up to my coworkers. It is a little like stepping into Narnia. Like a story in a book. A work fantasy that only exists on TV.

I don't know how to navigate this landscape. It is a workplace, and it isn't all sunshine and butterflies. But I don't know how to accept professional respect. It is...interesting.

[poppy-metal]

Demure

Wc: 4k

Pairing: eren jaeger x reader

Cw: car sex, fingering, emphasis on reader being innocent and a virgin. reader is armins little sister. corruption kink

you're 6 years old when you first meet eren jaeger. apparently he'd run off some people that were bullying you big brother, armin. you admire him and mikasa immediately.

you're 8 and he's 11 when you get a scrape on your knee from playing tag. eren runs into your mothers bathroom to fish out the first aid-kit, you know he just doesn't want you to tattle, you never would anyway, but he pulls out a pink band-aid with little ariels all over it and places it gently over the cut. he stays there for a few beats, soothing the skin around the hurt area with his thumbs. his big bright green eyes look up at you, "better?" and that's the first time your heart skips for a boy.

you're 11 and he's 14 when armin starts becoming protective. "he's had like. 5 girlfriends in middle school, who knows what he's gonna be like in high-school"

it intrigue you, for some reason.

you're 13 and he's 16 when he taps furiously on your window at night, wild eyed and wearing a t-shirt and sweats. he falls ungracefully on his ass when you let him in, though he grins at you from the floor. "thanks, squirt"

you wince at the nickname, knowing it solidifies you as someone only platonic to him. armins little sister and nothing more. "what's this all about?"

he gets up and swipes imaginary dust off his sweats, looking around your room. its absurdly girly. he picks up one of your plushies and tosses it up, then catches it, peering over at you and grinning. "i hope you never change," he sighs and flops down onto your pink sheets. "girls my age are fucking psychos"

you creep closer to him, snatching your plush back. "im sure there's something you're leaving out there. im not completely dumb, you know"

he waves his hand, "yeah but you're....i don't know? innocent or whatever. you don't care about shit like boys and drama"

i do care about boys, you think, watching the way his shirt rides up to expose a hint of tan skin. you look away, squeezing your plush to your chest. "im gonna grow up eventually, ren"

he sighs and sits up, looking at you from under his ridiculously cute floppy brown hair. "Just promise me you won't go boy crazy"

you roll your eyes and sit down next to him, he leans in and licks a broad stripe against your cheek with his tongue, grinning "we have cooties"

you swat at him and wipe your cheek, groaning and calling him gross. "i know that. you and armin never let me forget how gross boys are", you side eye him. "what did you even do? really?"

he looks to the side, only now having it in him to look the least bit sheepish, "my girlfriend may have caught me with my hand down historias skirt..."

"EREN JAEGER!!!"

yeah, boys really are gross. but not eren, no he's beautiful and magical and makes you feel all the fluttery things. but he's also a player, a bad boy, dangerous and completely off limits. maybe your crush should have ended there, but of course it didn't.

You're 15 when you go on your first date with a boy. until now you haven’t allowed yourself to even think about men outside of the enigma that is eren jaeger, but that’s a lost cause, a stupid crush you need to let go of. and despite what eren thinks, you’re not that innocent. not in your head anyway. you’re a girl and you have fantasies. 

the guy is nice, armin likes him enough. big and tall and humble, reiner brought you flowers for your first date. the age difference is a little weird, he’s in erens grade, a senior, but you think its harmless. you’re turning 16 soon. the date goes well, you smile and giggle alot, and reiner seems smitten by the end of it. he even goes as far as to kiss your hand when he drops you back off at home, at 8pm sharp, just like he promised. he was kind and sweet, and you liked him, but you wonder what it means that there were no flutters in your belly, not like when you’re around him…

you’re still thinking about that when you open the door, and walk inside. the house is quiet, and you wonder where armin is, and eren. thinking they both must be in armins room, you go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, stopping on your path there when you see eren on the couch. he’s lounging back, hand idly wrapped around a gaming controller as he watches you.

you glance around him. “where’s mimmin?”

he doesn’t take his eyes off you. “annie called”, he leans forward a little, propping his chin in his palm as he observes you quietly for a moment.

you squirm in place, his eyes are too hot. “oh” and you make to start moving again but his voice stops you. 

“so. braun, huh?” his tone is hard to discern, the words coming out cool and detached, but his eyes are that intense green. 

“yeah” you say, shifting on your feet. “he was nice. kissed my hand and everything”

“sounds like a dream” and that is definitely said sarcastically. you bristle but eren is already turning away from you, facing the TV. “didn’t think he was your type though” 

because erens been your type since forever, you guess he’s right. reiner couldn’t be more different in both personality and looks, but maybe that’s a good thing. “maybe he can be” you say softly, looking at your feet. you dont see erens eyebrows jump, or his lips twist disdainfully. 

“If you wanna settle for missionary the rest of your life, then sure, go ahead” he sounds a little miffed and that confuses you. makes you look up. you don’t even know reiner that well, but you feel the need to defend him from erens usual snarky jabs. 

“not every guy that doesn’t live on Xbox and fuck half the school is a bland guy” you huff. you feel a little guilty for calling him out but he started it. eren hated preps, that was obvious, but its not like he was a model person either, if his long track record of promiscuity was anything to go by. reiner wasnt boring he just…..wasn’t eren. but that wasn’t a flaw. It shouldn’t be. 

“you been keeping tabs on me, princess?” eren asks wryly, smirking now. you just glare at him, quirking a brow and daring him to prove you wrong, to say he’s better. 

he doesn’t. he just looks at you, sets his controller down and does that tick he’d developed since he was young of jiggling his knee, tapping his finger on it. “don’t go on more dates with him” 

you squint your eyes, “and why not?”

“because i said so” 

“you’re not my boss” 

“because..” he scratches the stubble on his jaw, gaze looking far off as he stares at his bouncing leg. “guys shouldn't touch you” 

your mouth pops open. you get that, right now, you’re too young for stuff like sex, but being touched? everyone your age had boyfriends, why should you be any different?

It feels a bit like deja vu when you tell him, “m’not staying innocent forever. dating and s-sex are apart of life. you do it, why shouldn’t i?” 

you didn’t really get his whole overprotective bit, armin, who was your brother, wasn’t even this bad. he’d seen happy almost, when you told him about your date with reiner, even, so you really don’t see where eren is coming from. 

erens lip curls in a smirk and he points a finger at you. “that’s why” he says. “you can’t even say the word sex without stuttering. what’ll you do when you see a cock for the first time?” 

your skin heats, hating that he’s right. “I’ll grow out of it” you promise him. 

he huffs a laugh. “sure thing, dork” but then his face gets serious. “you don’t need to change though. sex is lame, i promise.” 

“you seem to have alot of it, so there must be something good about it” 

“for me, yeah” he grins. “but im selfish. most men are, and you deserve better than some highschool tumble with a guy who looks like he can’t find the clit to save his life” his eyes weigh you down. “just keep bein’ you. If i come back from college and hear that you’re the towns tramp stamp, m’ not gonna be happy” 

and that’s that. 

you’re 16 when eren leaves for college. you get to 18 without ever being touched. 

you’re 18 and you wish you hadn’t begged armin to let you come to this stupid bomfire party. it’s just the first time he’s been home in the 2 years since he’d left for college, and you know that means eren is back too, though you have yet to see him. he’s supposed to be at the party though.

you wonder if he’ll react to having seen you after not for awhile, if he’ll look at you different now that you’re grown. you’re wearing a simple pleated white skirt and a pink top, the picture of innocence you’ve always been, never changing. 

being around so many people makes you uncomfortable, you want to cling to armins side, but you don’t want to be annoying so you tell him its okay to leave you. your eyes scan the mass of people on the crowded beach as you nervously hold your solo cup to your chest. 

your eyes stop their nervous skittering when they land on someone familiar. 

college eren is completely different and yet wholly the same since you’d last seen him. he’s wearing a red bomber jacket, over a black t-shirt and skinny jeans, scuffed converse kicking in the sand as he shifts from one foot to the other. you peep tan skin, a hint of a tattoo peeking on his neck and….and black hair. he’d dyed his hair, and, is that jewelry on his ear? rings on his hand?

he’s smiling easily with a pretty blonde and...and reiner. talking to them like old friends as he tilts his head back and laughs, taking a swig from his cup. he’s still chuckling and shaking his head when his eyes flick distractedly over, rove over you and then stop. even from all the way where you are the green of his eyes pins you in place. the warm glow of the bonfire dances across his features, and you see the bastard has a lip ring as well. he takes his time cataloging you and you do him, before his lips tilt, he hands off his drink and he makes his way over to you. 

your whole body is tense with nerves as he gets closer and closer.

when he’s standing in front of you, the smell of his cologne wafts over you. his smile is small and genuine. “hey, pip” 

pip as in short for pipsqueak. you have to fight the urge to grin at him, your cheeks warming pleasantly, even though you groan out loud. “m’ not little anymore” 

“I can see that” eren eyes rake over you, linger on your bare legs before dragging slowly back up. his eyes feel like a caress and when they meet yours again, you’re already tingly. you’ve never been touched sexually, and just one look from eren has you wet between the legs like nothing. “still dress like you wanna be an extra in a Bratz commercial” 

the tension disputes as you swat his arm. “shut up!! Its a fashion choice, not like you’d know. dressed like a wannabe rockstar” 

“aw, c’mon. you’d be my groupie right?” 

you roll your eyes. “you wish, jaeger”

“mm” he hums softly. “s’cute though. always has been” 

before you can even register the compliment, he’s leaning forward to peek into your cup, swiping it easily from you. “underage drinking, are we? left you for a couple years and you go rebel barbie on me” 

you squawk as he chugs all of your drink back in one gulp, crushing the cup in his fist and tossing it behind him. “ren! I wasn’t even drinking it. It was..” you wave your hand around. “for the aesthetic”

“uh huh” he drones, but then he jerks his chin. “i’ll get you another one to stand around and look pretty with then. C’mon”

cute, pretty. the compliments are gonna make your heart fly out of your chest if he doesn’t let up. you follow him as he leads you to a keg, one that’s a little ways away from the bustle of the party, close to the parking lot where you came in. 

you shyly say ‘thank you’ when he fills you a cup and hands it to you, proceeding to lean back against a car as he goes back to observing you.

to distract yourself you mumble, “you can’t just lean on a strangers car for the sake of being cool” 

the grin is back. “you think im cool?” when you glare at him he rolls his eyes and slaps the hood of the car. “she’s mine, pip. you can untwist your panties” 

you blink at him, “since when did you get a new car? and when did you dye your hair?” 

he looks at you curiously, drumming his fingers. “do you not, like. follow me on instagram?”

you look away, kicking your feet in the sand. hesitantly you admit, “didn’t wanna miss you, so i didn’t look” 

he doesn’t say anything to that. the silence stretches between you, making you nervous. should you not have said that? you guessed it was weird, after all, but it was true. If you’d looked at how erens life was progressing without you there to see it, you’d have cried and been a total lovesick girl about it. 

he finally breaks the silence. “do you have a boyfriend?” 

you look back at him. “uh...no? do you?”

the smirk you wanted ghosts over his lips again, and your eyes are drawn to his lip ring when he tugs it between his teeth. “nah, you know me. unattainable” 

“yeah, i know” you say under your breath, thinking of how eren jaeger had been an unattainable fantasy for you for years. 

“so no current boyfriend or…?” 

“no boyfriends...ever” its embarrassing to admit, but less humiliating than admitting that the reason that was is because you’re in love with your brothers best friend, the very man standing before you now. 

“that’s kinda tragic, pip” eren hops up on the hood of his car and fishes a cigarette out of his pocket. he waves a hand at you, “you’re rockin’ a bod like that and no one’s bagged you? thought you’d be beating down options with a bat by now” 

you watch the smoke that plumes in the air, the way it coils and wisps, and really look at eren. he’s tragically beautiful. his no black hair is boyishly messy, tangled around his head in a dark halo. his face is sharp and tan, his eyes striking and making you feel like you’re sinking into the sand beneath your feet.

you’ve wanted him for so long, it makes you ache. years and years of pushing away men and declining confessions for this man in front of you. you’d never expected anything from him, but you couldn’t move past the fantasy in your head. couldn’t imagine giving any of your firsts to anyone but eren. 

“you told me to stay innocent” its out before you can stop the words, they just fumble out, spilling from your lips and into the air like the smoke.

eren stills, pauses from where he’d been about to take another drag. his expression is unreadable. he flicks the ashes from the cig on the sand, stumps it out under his foot as he hops down. the wind ruffles his dark hair as he just looks and looks and looks at you. 

“yeah?” and oh, jesus, if the rough gravel in his voice doesn’t make your cunt warm immediately. “and you listened?” 

you squeeze your thighs together, an action that draws erens gaze between your legs. to late to back down now, you think, and wet your lips. “y-yeah. I did” 

“you didn’t let any boys touch you while i was gone?” eren continues and he draws closer, creeping towards you.

you shake your head, silent as he comes in front of you. he reaches up to delicately push a strand of hair behind you ear with one of his ring fingers. he keeps it tucked behind your ear as he towers over you, staring you down. “you’re still my innocent little girl, huh?” 

you wonder if this is how it feels to be seduced, seduced by eren jaeger no less. his eyes are warm, and they make you feel warm from where the rest on your eyes, and then, your lips. they part under his gaze, on instinct. “I am, ren. always have been” 

his eyes darken, and the finger behind your ear becomes his whole hand sliding to cup the back of your head, slowly fisitng your hair in it. “shit” he tilts your head up. “you can’t say things like that, baby”

baby, baby, baby. your head swims. you’re on autopilot now, speaking without thinking and you think that’s good because if you were thinking clearly you wouldn't have the courage. “i’ve always been your good girl. no one elses” 

you have one second to hear his exhale before his lips are crashing against yours, and oh. oh, he’s good. you feel the metal of his lip ring against your bottom lip as he slides his tongue in your mouth, eating you up.

“god, you’re sweet” he nips your lip. “knew you would be”

you pant into his mouth, your hands curling on his chest, “y-you’ve thought about me?”

“‘course i did, im not blind” he pulls away. “I just really like my dick and didn’t want it chopped off. armin is scary” 

you know he can be when he wants to be, knows if he saw eren ravishing his little sister against his car right now, body parts would be strewn about. and that’s just from armins verbal warfare.

you look at eren demurely from under your lashes, “i don’t want anything to happen to your…” you trail off at the end.

erens eyebrows climb up his forehead, he presses close to you, tugs you to him. “my…” he prods, eyes glinting with mischief. 

you look away, pouting. “know i can’t say it” you mumble, hating that even now, saying vulgar words is embarrassing for you.

erens chest shakes with a laugh. “you just sucked my tongue down your throat, pip, and you can’t talk about my cock? you’re precious, c’mere.” he starts walking backwards, towards his car. “we gotta be sneaky about it but-” he dips down to kiss you again, once, twice. “i really wanna touch you” 

you gulp, and nod, let him pull you to his car and open the backseat for you, climbing in after you. he shuts and locks it behind him and then he’s facing you, eren jaeger giving you his full attention. looking at you like he wants you, like he’s seeing you, like he wants to do alot of bad things to you.

you place a shaking hand on his shoulder. “im- i dont know what to do..”

you want to impress him, but pretending you’re good at something you’re not won’t do that. eren doesn’t like liars anyway. 

he scoots close to you, pulling you halfway onto his lap until you’re sitting comfortably against him. you bite your lip when you feel the hard ridge of his cock pressing against your ass under your skirt. one of his hands settles on your bare thigh, scooting it up just barely.

“you ever watch porn, sweetheart?” erens breath puffs against your ear and you squirm on top of him. 

you push down your own embarrassment, resigning yourself to be a big girl and be honest. “s-sometimes” 

“yeah?” god, why does just that word turn you on so much? “tell me what kind of stuff you watch when you touch your little pussy” 

his vulgar words go straight to your cunt, at the same time his hand slides up your thighs and slips under your skirt. you close your eyes when you feel the tip of his finger trace over the band of your panties. “they’re always a couple..” you gasp when his hand dips inside, palm cupping over your pussy. “a-and the guy has dark hair..”

“Imagining anyone in particular?” eren teases, but you hear his breath catch at the same time yours does when he sinks one long finger inside. the folds around your slit part seamlessly around the intrusion, sucking his finger in like your pussy wants it there. “so wet, baby. keep talking for me?”

ever the good girl, you push through the tingles and the heat spreading down your legs, the slick sound of his finger fucking in and out of you filling the silent car as you struggle to find words. “s-shes always inexperienced. Its her first time and...and hes gentle” you moan a little when erens thumb comes to swirl around your clit, hips lips finding your neck. he’s teasing another finger at your tight entrance when you swallow another groan and try to keep talking like he’d asked. “he’s gentle but he takes. t-takes what he wants”

“mm” eren hums, tongue sliding against your skin. you gasp when the tip of his ring finger edges in beside the other one, stretching your tight passage around his digits in thorough little twists of his fingers. “that’s real good, baby. you like the sound of that, huh?” 

eren hooks his chin over your shoulder, bunches your skirt around your waist so he can see where your little pussy is clenching and squeezing around him, clit engorged and throbbing for attention. when you don’t answer, he continues, using the slick dripping down your slit, gathering it and then pushing back into you. “I bet” he says, low, husky. “In those videos, he eats her out real nice, yeah? makes sure her little virgin cunt is wet enough to take his cock”

“y-yeah” you pant, holding his wrist but not pulling it away, pushing him more towards you. you’re starting to grind down against the pleasure, walls rhythmically fluttering around his fingers, fucking yourself on them without even knowing it. he curls them, and your head thumps back against his shoulder as you cry out. 

“i’ll give that to you” eren promises, pumping his fingers faster, his other hand coming up to cup one of your tits over your blouse, giving it a squeeze. “gonna take you home after you cream around my fingers and lay you out on your bed” he kisses your cheek, holding you firm against him when you start to twitch and writhe. “lick this little flower open. wanna feel your thighs squeeze my face when i drink the cum from your pussy, get you all loose and wet and then i wanna feel you drip down my dick when i slide it inside”

“oh god, ren!” you jerk in his hold as you feel your orgasm crest over you, gushing down his palm, as you ride his hand, milking it as tingles shoot across your whole body. A milky, creamy film rests around his knuckles when he slides his fingers out of your weeping cunt, still pulsating and twitching from the come down. 

he rubs the excess slick around your folds and clit, rubbing it in. you whimper and he chuckles and kisses your cheek. 

you sag against him, fucked out. eren brushes some hair from your forehead and kisses it. “wannabe punk pounds sweet virgin pussy into her bed” 

you look at him, confused and dazed “huh?”

eren grins at you. “s’ gonna be the name of our porno” 

#poppy speaks #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger smut #aot smut #i hate this kinda but oh well #woof #eren jaeger imagine