#link but the audience knows. i think that would have been fun and fucked up. oh she's not in the game btw. i just realised this could be

[houseofanticipation]

You're sitting with your friend Sam at a coffee shop, catching up. She's telling you about an instagram ad she keeps getting for some audiobook streaming service. "It's just crazy," she says, "because I was just telling Lucille I wanted to start reading more books but I never have the time, and then it's like instantly I'm getting these ads all the time."

"So what," you say over your steaming mug, "you think they're listening to you?"

Sam shakes her head. "Honestly I think it's almost scarier than that. They have so much information about us, they don't even need to listen to our conversations. They just know, based on everything they've gathered about me, that I'm probably someone who wants to listen to audiobooks."

"Well they can't be that smart," you say. "Because the only ads I've been getting lately are for something called Slut Cream."

Sam raises an eyebrow. "You must know I'm going to need more details."

You take out your phone and find an ad to show her. It's not difficult; literally all of the ads you see on instagram are like this. They're even showing up in other places now, on webpages you visit or apps you use. This one is one you've seen before: a beautiful woman in a crop top that just barely covers her nipples is proudly displaying a squeeze tube of the kind you'd buy sunscreen or toothpaste in. The caption says, "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle! Step up your slut game with Slut Cream! Shop Now"

"I don't even know what slut cream is," you say. "All you get when you look it up is a bunch of porn."

"Well, obviously it's a way to step up your slut game," says Sam sagely. "What does it say on the website?"

"Oh, I'm not clicking the link," you say. "I don't want to encourage them! What I want to know is why suddenly this ad is all I can seem to see!"

Sam shoots you a wink. "Maybe you're just a slut. These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."'

What neither of you know is that it's actually quite easy to buy online ad space, and they let you get pretty specific with your intended audience.

I live in the next apartment over from you. I've been watching you for a long time, studying you, listening to you through our shared wall. We've talked a few times, some terse conversation at the mailboxes or in the hall, which is how I knew enough about you to place those ads, with audience parameters so specific that probably only you and about five other people would see them. I had fun making them; hiring the model to do the photoshoot, dusting off the skills I picked up in that college graphic design course, creating a website for this fake business (though I'm disappointed you still haven't clicked through to see it). If you actually tried to buy slut cream, the website would tell you we're currently closed due to high traffic, and to check back later. Nowhere on the website does it explain what slut cream is.

A number of strange things happen to you over the course of the following day. On your lunch break you walk down the block to the deli by your office. You're in here every weekday, but today the energy here is different. People are staring you, side-eyeing you, having whispered conversations that stop abruptly when you get too close. As you're walking back to work, an old woman spits on the ground as you pass, you'd swear you heard the word "whore!" hissed under her breath. You wonder if you should say something, stand up for yourself, but she's elderly, probably confused, and you decide to be the bigger person.

In the hours after lunch, you're propositioned by no less than seven of your male coworkers. You've had to refuse a few invitations to dinner in your time, but seven in a day is completely out of the ordinary, and the things these men are offering to do to you go way outside the bounds of first date stuff. One guy tells you the conference room is empty, if you want to go for a quick fuck; another guy tells you he hasn't cum in a month, and if you sucked his cock he'd pump so much cum down your throat that you wouldn't need to eat dinner. Your boss even tells you he and his wife are looking for a third and he thought of you first, like he's offering you a big promotion. The strangest thing is that all of these men seem genuinely surprised when you turn them down. Like this sort of thing usually works with girls. One guy even says, "sorry, I was just trying to help."

It was pretty easy to hire actors for the deli and the street. You go to the same place every day, so I knew where they'd have to go and roughly when they'd need to be there. The harder part was getting your coworkers to play along, especially because I was picky about getting people who could sell the act. For a few of them all it took was money. A few of them I had to blackmail. For your boss I had to call in a favor, get his boss to threaten his job. He protested, but I think it made his cock hard, thinking about fucking you alongside his wife.

I keep this up for a few weeks. Anywhere you go I have people watching you, talking about you behind your back. I have people approaching you on the train, at the park, in restaurants, offering to fuck you like they're doing you a favor. You stay firm in your refusal—I wouldn't have expected any less from you—but I can tell it's beginning to eat at you. I watch you try to figure out what you're doing that seems to give all these people the wrong idea about you; you start to dress more modestly, talk less, even walk a little less confidently. But none of this will change anything. All it will do is make you feel more repressed.

After a month, I decide it's time to make my move. I could probably wait longer, but the anticipation is getting too much for me, and besides, you're beginning to get a little wild around the eyes. I'd hate to break you before I've had my fun. One evening, when I know you're home, I unlock your apartment with the duplicate key I had made two months ago. You're in the kitchen, washing dishes with headphones on; you didn't hear me come in. I leave the door open as I approach you, admiring the way you shake your ass to whatever it is you're listening to. I get right up behind you and stay there for a moment, lavishing in your innocence, feeling my cock strain at my belt as I imagine taking it away from you. Then I reach around front of you with both arms and plunge my hand into your panties

You shout in shock, fight back, try to push me off as the headphones fall off your head. But I've got you pinned against the counter, my full body weight against you, one hand down your pants, the other groping your breasts. Once you realize that fighting won't help, you stop struggling and ask me what I want. "Please," you say. Just hearing that quiver in your voice almost makes me delirious with lust. "Please, let me go. I don't want this, please."

I bury my face in your neck, kissing and breathing you in. You smell incredible, like fear and sweat and sex. I bring my lips up to your ear, let them brush against you as I speak. "Of course you want this, baby. You've been trying so hard to hide it, but you don't have to hide with me. Look, you left the door open for me." I let you turn your head enough to see the door hanging open just as my fingers find your clit. I'm rubbing you gently, tenderly, just the way I've watched you touch yourself through the webcam I have in your room. My other hand is under your shirt now and I'm squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between my fingers, feeling it slowly grow full and erect. You try to stifle a soft moan and I kiss your neck again. "It's okay, baby. You don't have to be ashamed. It's okay to want to feel good. Let me make you feel good."

You clutch your face in your hands and let out a cry of frustration and humiliation and agony and pleasure. You barely know me; I'm the guy next door who sometimes looks at you a little too long. The guy you speed up to avoid in the hall. But that feeling radiating from you clit... You think how exhausting it's been, doing everything you could think of to change people's perception of you, get them to stop looking at you as a slut, how none of it has done you any good anyway. You wonder if you'd have had more fun fucking Jim in the conference room, or swallowing Dylan's cum, or having a threesome with your boss and his wife. And that throbbing in your clit, the agonizing pleasure...You remember that beautiful woman in the ad: "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle!" You think about how happy she looked, how fulfilled. You remember Sam's words: "These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."

It does feel good, doesn't it? To let me touch you, pleasure you, to let go of this act you've been holding on to. Isn't it okay to want to feel good? Why did you ever let anyone make you ashamed of that? You try out another moan, letting the pleasure well up through your chest and out your mouth. It feels good, so you try another, and another, and then you're leaning back into me, grinding up against me, delighting in the feeling of my hard cock against your ass.

"Good," I say. "You're letting go of those silly hang-ups. Now we can have our real fun." My hands still around you, controlling you, I half lead-half carry your trembling body to the bedroom. I throw you on the bed, face up so I can get a good look at your eyes, see what I've done to your mind. Those same eyes that have avoided me in the hall so many times now gaze hungrily up at me, wanting me, needing me.

Who am I do decline?

I pull off your pants and panties as a single unit, letting you take care of your shirt for yourself. I kick of my own bottoms, letting my throbbing cock slap against your leg as it springs from its confinement. Don't think I don't notice the way your whole body shivers when it touches you. I lift your legs and push your knees up towards your ears; you're remarkably flexible. It must be all that yoga I've watched you do at the place downtown. I've greatly enjoyed your visits to that place, so it's nice to see they weren't in vain.

You're afraid of me, all of a sudden. Maybe some part of you is seeing sense, realizing you'd have to be crazy to let a guy like me come into your home and fuck you like this. But what was the alternative? Have me rape you? Let me tell you, darling: I would have raped you. You feel the head of my cock gliding over your skin, exploring your inner thighs and pubic area, and tremble at my touch. I want this, you tell yourself. This is what a slut like me needs.

All the same, you cry a little bit when I penetrate you. It's not because it hurts—it does hurt a bit, but you're wet enough, and it's not entirely a bad pain. It's not because you're afraid—well, maybe in part, but that's not the core of it. You cry because you're finally letting go. Letting go of the person you used to be, or thought you were. It's the relief of knowing you don't have to pretend anymore, wrapped up with the mourning you feel when you lose a potential version of yourself. I lean across you as my cock fills you up, and tenderly, I kiss away your tears. "Hush, my darling. I'm here. I will always be here. I will love you despite what you are, when everyone else turns away in disgust."

My weight on you feels good, comforting. The way I press down on your legs, stretching you out, driving my cock so deep inside you that it brushes your cervix. It hurts a little, but is that any better than you deserve? Could a slut like you really expect to find better than this? Better than unconditional love and a desire to give you the pleasure you need?

I'm speeding up now, my face something like an animal, furious and insistent as I gaze down at you. There's darkness behind my eyes, you think, something cold and cruel. You thank God I'm on your side. My hips are like a hammer on your pelvis now, and with each thrust you feel my cock bulging inside you, throbbing and pulsating with anticipation. When I finally plant my seed in you, groaning and growling and pressing you further into the bed, you find there's something comforting about the warmth of my cum inside you. Maybe my seed will take root, make you swell up with me, make you mine. As I roll off you, huffing and panting, the tears begin to stream down your face again, this time from joy.

What did a slut like you ever do to deserve someone who loves you like I do?

#r@pe fantasy #r@pe kink #cvmslvt #cvmdump #rapekink #rapetoy #breeding toy #mind conditioning

[majorproblems77]

Linked maze updated which means I'm back! :D

Hello Linked Maze fans! :D

Linked Maze returns with scent pt10, which means I am back to ramble about the small details in the comic because I enjoy it!

If you dont know what Linked Maze is, It's a links meet comic. About the links in a maze.... Self-explanatory really, but trust me it's amazing and I love it. It's great! But also for more mature audiences, so do take care and heed the creator's warnings before going in!

Importantly - Linked Maze and all the art belongs to @linked-maze and its artist @frulleboi, this chapter also had a guest artist, so the second page's art is done by @marenwithanm. And thanks again for the permission to do this! I really enjoy making them!

With that out of the way, My timer is set, grab some snacks and a drink of your choice! And lets get started! :D

We begin with the small bean

He looks so happy, okay, I love him

Aww four, just wanted his sword back. Also here to straight up appreciate the detail with the little ticktacktoe on the scabbard of his sword i love him dearly.

Wolfie looks both Done and worried at the same time.

Also, them discovering Sky's sailcloth! I'm so excited about this okay I want these two groups to find each other so bad.

Also, I was interested cause I dont think we've seen the sailcloth in the story yet. So it's fascinating that it's here. I blame Angel, she has shenanigans that I think work for this. Like imagine when we see Sky and he's like the fuck why do you have my sailcloth I've not seen it since I got here, type thing.

Wind taking charge as he should be.

There's a bunch to unpack here, so just give me a moment.

That's not Sky's sword.

That's Twilight's sword.

The wrappings on the blade and the markings we see on it later match Twilight's sword. (From the character reference sheets.)

Do you have any idea how excited I was when I saw this? Then saw Wolfie's face like

Why the fuck is that there?

I think this tells us two things.

Twilight/wolfie is now able to be armed. So he's got the capability to fight without the wolf form now. So he might transform soon!

Angel/ djævel are using the hero items to bring the groups together for some reason.

But now im considering the implications of having these specific items here. Like, Thats an item from a character from some of the major groups that we know off right now.

Twilight's sword(Twilight, wind) / Sky's sailcloth (Sky,wild,Time) / Four's sword (four, warrior)

Was the idea for them to find it, or for just one of the groups to find it so that they could find the others.

Something to think about.

Moving on!

Me too four... me too

Yes it does. He's sat about five feet from you

Look at his guilty face, he know's but he can't say and he's sad about it.

Warrior looks worried, you think he's thinking of war stuff right now?

A sword planted into the ground with an important item beside it... a sword who they dont know its owner. Its owner who to them could be dead?

Twilight is the only one who know's his sword after all.

Good call Mr. Captain Warrior sir!

Again with the sad wolfie ears, they give me life okay I love him.

Good on Wind for being the one to lead the charge, we need a good vibe like Wind to get us through the shenanigans that I'm sure are going to ensue.

Again Twilight is looking towards his sword. When you think he would be looking towards Wind at this point. But his eyes appear to be looking towards the markings on the sword.

I love his shocked face. He's like

I can't track myself...

Totally not me going to be using this reaction when someone asks me to do something.

Wolfie is the real MVP of this chapter let me tell you right now.

I love this lot they are wonderful

Yes, you look to your sword and think about what you've done.

Sniff sniff out the cinnamon roll wolfie, find him!

Oh man, this update was fun, I got so unbelievably excited about the sword like it's great to basically have a confirmation about something that's been rotating around in my brain since we saw it before.

Thanks again for listening to me ramble my way through another comic update! :D

And thank you again @linked-maze for letting me do this, i will be continuing them (as long as you let me:) ) cause this was so much fun!

Thats me done for this update tho, so I'll be headed out!

Have a great night! :D

#linked maze #linkedmaze #linked maze analysis #zelda au #lm twilight #lm four #lm warrior #lm wind #lm wolfy #comic analysis with major #ramble corner with major #man i am chatty today i love it #Twilights sword made me so unbelievably excited #i love this comic okay

[kaldurahms-lover]

Cardigan

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem Reader (version of jason isn’t mentioned but i wrote it with his original storyline death from Batman: A Death In The Family, not a later, retconned version)

Warnings: angst but also fluff, reader is a famous singer, use of Y/N, pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, lmk if i missed any), swearing, makes references to other songs (Lover by Taylor Swift, Lucky People by Waterparks, and Favorite Record by Fall Out Boy), i reread this like 8 times but i couldve missed things so don't flame me if theres any fuck ups in there lmao

Word Count: 4,175

A/N: (yes i know cardigan is part of the teenage love triangle songs, yes i made it into somewhat fluff because i fucking wanted to, whats it to you? I was just listening to cardigan (by taylor swift if you were unaware) in the shower and had this beautiful idea of like what if rather than it being about getting cheated on, i make it about the reader experiencing Jason’s death (and resurrection)? also i color coded the dialogue which is something i normally don't do soooo fun little touch i guess.)

IMPORTANT NOTE: Italics mean it’s a flashback, bold and bigger means it's a song lyric, regular text means it's happening in real time. (with very obvious exceptions) Cool? Cool. also, real quick, THE FLASHBACKS ARE NOT IN PERFECT CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!!

“HELLO GOTHAM CITY!” The crowd roared in excitement. Y/N was excited too, it was her first show in Gotham in a long time. This was her first tour in a long time. Of course, she let the public think that it was just because she was a teenager focusing on school, not because when she was 16 her first love the love of her life had been brutally murdered…

“It’s really nice to be playing a hometown show, and since this is my first one in forever, how about I play you something brand new?” Screams erupted in the audience, people pulling out their phones to get the first recording of a brand new song. 

“This one means a lot to me, it’s about someone very special to me, and how he came back to me when I needed him most. This is a quieter one so I'm gonna need you all to listen, and please don’t judge me if I cry during this. Alright, this one’s called ‘cardigan’ everybody!” 

Rows and rows of people buzzed with excitement as the music began to play.

~

Vintage tee, brand new phone

Y/N and Jason walked in, strutting about as if they were models in the new vintage tees Y/N had bought for them at the thrift store just days before. They strolled about the mall, eventually making the stop to get Jason a new phone, he had dropped his from a rooftop on patrol the night before. Oops. 

“Jay, baby, you can’t just use Bruce’s credit card without asking all the time” Y/N smiled, knowing Jason wasn’t going to listen to her 

“Says who? Besides, I told him I was taking it. If he didn’t want to pay for me to get a new phone, he should’ve given me a secure pocket in the suit for it like I asked.” Jason shrugged. He wasn’t atrociously rebellious at all times, but he knew Bruce had more than enough money for him to get a new phone, and to treat his girlfriend, and best friend, when he wanted to. “Plus, if I didn’t take his card, I wouldn’t be able to spoil you, would I?” He wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her temple as they walked out of the store.

High heels on cobblestone

Y/N’s heels clicked loudly against the cobblestone walkway as she made her way to the entrance of the Wayne gala, arm linked with Jason’s. 

“Are you sure I look alright? I’ve never worn a dress this fancy Jason. Should I even be at a Wayne gala I mean–” Jason cut her off.

“Sweetheart you look perfect. And if anyone tells you otherwise I will personally ask Bruce to kick them out.”

“Jay you can’t do that.”

“According to who? I have adopted Wayne privilege and you’re the one who’s Bruce’s favorite”

“I am not Bruce’s favorite!”

“Yes you are princess.”

He dragged her into the gala, excited to spend a night with her, and after that, her first Wayne gala was nothing but history, as she attended every single one at her lover’s side.

When you are young they assume you know nothing

“That boy is a delinquent Y/N! I doubt you even know anything about him, has he even told you how he came to meet Mr Wayne?” Y/N’s father shouted. He’d never liked Jason, despite him being Y/N’s best friend for years before things ever became romantic. She used to be able to avoid it, but when her mom moved out of state for work and Y/N wanted to stay in Gotham… well this was her only option.

“Yes dad, I know how he met Bruce! You realize I knew him long before he was adopted by Bruce Wayne right? That I didn’t just go for him because he was rich? You assume because I’m young that I know nothing!”

“Clearly you don’t know anything if you would choose to be with a boy who is a thief! He tried to steal Mr. Wayne’s tires!”

“He was trying to steal them because he was living on the streets and needed money to fucking eat, Dad! Clearly you’re the one who knows nothing here!”

She stormed out of the house, furiously texting Jason and trying to will away the angry tears. 

Sequined smile, black lipstick

Y/N grinned at Jason, her black lipstick fresh as they prepared to go to a party. Bruce had cleared Jason of Robin duty for the weekend and they’d decided to take time to enjoy being normal teenagers. 

“What do you think?” She asked, still smiling

“I think… I’m really tempted to kiss that lipstick right off of you”

“Come do it then.”

Sensual politics

“Do you ever think about sensual politics?” Y/N looked up at Jason, her head in his lap as he read a book.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘sensual politics’?”

“Like the politics of being flirtatious or like building a relationship with someone, but like also kind of a play on sexual politics and people’s perception of the difference’s between men and women and the politics of it, you know? Like they’re both very different things but you can name them the same thing”

“And you’re calling that sensual politics?”

“Yes, what about it?”

“I wish I could understand what’s going on in that brain of yours, you’re such a nerd princess”

When you are young they assume you know nothing

“Jaybird if you hurt her I hope you know I’ll have to break your legs” Dick shrugged as if this was common knowledge.

“I won’t hurt her, Dickwad. She’s the best thing to happen to me.”

“Okay, but you’re young and stupid, anything could happen.”

“Just because you knew nothing when you were young doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

But I knew you

Years ago, Y/n was 11 and Jason was 10. Y/N was on her way home from the school when she saw someone she recognized. 

“Hey! You’re the boy from the library! You showed me my favorite book!”

Jason flushed, unaware that she’d remember him, or that she’d take the recommendation he’d once given her seriously

“Yeah uh, hi. My names Jason, Jason Todd.” He stuck his hand out to shake.

She placed her hand in his and shook. "Y/N."

Dancin' in your Levi's

Y/N and Jason slow danced in her room, her record player spinning some old collection she’d snagged from Wayne manor.

“I was unaware that Levi’s were ballroom attire Monsieur.”

“And I was unaware your bedroom counted as a ballroom Mademoiselle”

Drunk under a streetlight, I

“Jason you’re drunk.”

“No I’m notttt. Please Y/N pleeeeaaassseee be my girlfriend.”

“You’re drunk Jay, if you weren’t then you’d remember I already am.” She laughed, watching her lover shoot up in excitement

“Really? That’s so cool!”

I knew you

"Y/N what do you think? Do you think he'd like this for his birthday?"

"Why are you asking me? You're his brother!"

"Yeah but you know him better than anyone else"

Hand under my sweatshirt

"Jason Peter Todd get your cold ass hands out from under my sweatshirt!"

"What do you mean princess?" He dragged his freezing cold hands further up her back

"Eek!"

Baby, kiss it better, I

Y/N carefully finished wrapping the bandages around Jason's waist.

"I can't believe you got stabbed!"

"Kiss it better?"

"Dork." She pressed a kiss to his bandages, before making her way up to his lips.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

“What’s got you down princess?” Jason quirked an eyebrow, the moment Y/N entered the manor there was an unhappy energy on her, like she was faking her smile. He knew her all too well. “Come here”. He opened his arms to her, gesturing that she should come lay with him on the excessively large couch (rich people bro) and she happily obliged, latching onto his side like a koala with her head on his chest.

“It’s just… I don’t know, sometimes I feel like an old cardigan, under someone’s bed. Just… forgotten.”

“I could never forget you. Sometimes people lose things that are important to them. If you’re an old cardigan then I’m finding you and putting you on because the whole time you were my favorite.” He pressed a kiss to her hair.

“How poetic” She could feel his chest shake as he laughed.

“What can I say? I’m a man of literature. Speaking of which! Do you want to watch Pride and Prejudice?”

“Again?”

“Yes, AgAiN”

Y/N looked up at her boyfriend, beaming. “Always.”

A friend to all is a friend to none

“You can’t keep acting like nothing is going on Jason. You love her, so why are you friends with someone like the asshole who ruined her reputation?”

“Dammit Dick, I didn’t even know that he was the one who did that until a week ago!”

“And you’ve hung out with him twice since then! A friend to all is a friend to none, Jaybird.”

Chase two girls, lose the one

Surely all of Gotham had heard them arguing from their favorite spot on the roof of the library.

“Jason I understand that you want to go meet your birth mother, but why does that mean you have to not be in touch for an undetermined amount of time? I don’t understand why finding her means leaving me!” Y/N hadn’t meant to shout. She wasn’t actually mad at him. She understood why he wanted to go, but that didn’t make him leaving hurt any less. Why should she have to lose contact with him, let him run off to another continent without any knowledge of if he was okay?

“Sweetheart I’m not leaving you, I’m just trying to find my mom…”

“Yeah, at the expense of me! Jay I will never prevent you from doing something this important to you but that will not change the fact that this hurts me. That I’ll be lying awake at night not knowing if you’re okay or if you’re even going to want me when you come home! Not even being able to ask Bruce if you’re okay because you plan on doing this without his knowledge! For fucks sake Jason do you realize how that would feel?”

“God dammit Y/N why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Because you’re LEAVING ME. You know what, go ahead and go Jason. You’re choosing to chase two girls and you’ve lost this one.” She made her way down, trying not to let her hands shake from all the emotional turmoil, at least not until she was on the ground again. There was no way she would know how much she’d regret saying that to him.

When you are young, they assume you know nothing

“It’s your first heartbreak Y/N, you’ll get over it. It was teenage puppy love, something was bound to happen.” Her father had no clue. It had been days and she hadn’t heard from Jason. Last she checked with Alfred, Bruce had followed him out to the middle east somewhere. 

“This was, this is so much more than that. You’re doing it again, assuming that because I’m young I must know nothing.”

“Clearly you don’t know anything.”

But I knew you

“When were you gonna tell me that you being a literature nerd was knowledge Dick wasn’t supposed to get his hands on?” Y/N gave him a look. The look that says ‘i didn't know this was a secret so you can't be upset i spilled’

“Shit princess please don’t tell me you told him… he’ll never let me live it down!”

“Oops?” She shrugged. He started to say something else but she kissed him before the words could escape. “It’s alright Jay, it makes you a romantic. And it means I know you better than him.”

Jason smiled. “I guess you’re right…”

Playing hide-and-seek and

“Do you wanna play hide and seek?”

“Sweetheart aren’t we too old for that?”

“Who said that? Come onnn"

“Y/N.”

“Hm?”

“You know I can’t say no to you.”

Giving me your weekends, I

“You know we don’t have to spend every weekend together right? You can hang out with your friends or your family if you want.”

“Why would I do that when I could give you all my weekends?”

I knew you

"How did you know to tell Bruce I wanted adjustments on the Robin bike?"

"Because I'm just cool like that. And i know you. Now come on let's take it for a spin!"

Your heartbeat on the High Line

Y/N pressed the side of her head to Jason's chest as a stranger took their photo on the High Line. The trip to New York had been spontaneous, something they'd decided to do for spring break.

After taking her phone back from the kind stranger and thanking them, Y/N turned to her dear boyfriend.

"I could hear your heartbeat you know."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you'd think it was our first date or something." Y/n grinned.

"Because you make me feel... I don't know, like Pip if Estella was actually good for him?"

"Did you just reference Great Expectations at me as a way of expressing your feelings?"

"Maybe?"

"Kiss me."

Once in twenty lifetimes, I

Y/N often thought of how her mother had once told her that true teenage love like the one she had with Jason only came once in 20 lifetimes. Although, in retrospect maybe it's twice in two lifetimes, or once in one, for the partner who didn't die.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

"Would I still be your favorite person if I was a worm?"

"Well no cause you wouldn't be a person anymore, but you'd be my favorite worm-"

"You know what? I'll take it."

"You'll always be my favorite."

To kiss in cars

"Jason Todd you are a menace to society."

"What? How?"

"You brought me out to Bruce's Rolls-Royce to make out."

"So?"

and downtown bars

"Who would've thought the boy wonder had a fake ID?"

"Maybe his girlfriend who's cousin made it for him"

"What? Which one?"

Jason smirked at her, knowing it was going to eat her alive not knowing yes im projecting how nosy i am onto the y/n "Sorry princess, that stays a secret"

Was all we needed

You drew stars around my scars

"Jason it's just an old scar from scraping my knee a little too deep, it's no big deal!"

He continued drawing small stars around any scars he found on her, gently dragging the red marker along her skin. "I didn't say it was!"

But now I'm bleedin'

When Jason hadn’t come back, Y/N had done one of the only things she promised him she would never do: taking up vigilantism. She told Bruce it was only temporary. She told herself it was only temporary. But the longer she was in the game the more attached to it she became.

"FUCK!" Y/N yelped as she sat on her bathroom counter, pressing a damp rag to her wound, carefully wiping it off. "God dammit, I used to be patching up Jason's stab wounds, not getting stabbed..." She picked up her phone, dialing the only number she cared to call anymore.

"Yeah, Dick? Can you come over real quick? Need you to make sure this stab wound doesn't kill me..."

The audible "WHAT" echoed throughout the bathroom, despite the phone not being on speaker.

'Cause I knew you

"How'd you know I'd be here?"

Y/N found Jason at their spot on the roof of the library after Dick informed her that he'd had a particularly rough argument with Bruce.

"Because I know you better than anyone else."

Steppin' on the last train

Jason dragged Y/N towards the last train of the night, what they never knew would be their final date before everything went astray.

"Come on! The last train is the best one!"

Marked me like a bloodstain, I

The image of Jason, dead, being carried away by Bruce was forever marked in Y/N's head. He was dead. There was nothing else to say.

I knew you

Speaking at Jason's small memorial was never something Y/N saw herself doing.

"I uh- I really don't know what to say. You all always said I knew him better than anyone else, and I just wish I could've known the way to prevent this."

Tried to change the ending

Y/N tried so hard to change the ending of her story. Make it so she wasn't just the girl who lost herself in grief. But until unless she saw Jason again, nothing was going to happen.

Peter losing Wendy, I

As she sat there writing 'Cardigan' it occurred to her that Peter losing Wendy was a choice, and her losing Jason never was, but it fit. Their love was a magic only to be found in Neverland.

I knew you

"Hey Red, do I know you from somewhere in civilian life? You seem familiar..."

"No way, too new in town, sorry."

She knew she knew him. She just couldn't place why...

Leavin' like a father

Even though she'd told him just to go, Jason still stopped by Y/N's house before he left to find his mother.

"Please don't leave me Jay." She cupped his cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers as tears streamed down her face

"Don't cry baby, I'll be back before you know it."

Running like water, I

Of course, Y/N hadn't known the identity of the Red Hood the first time she'd spotted him. All she had time to think was wondering why such a large man, with guns nonetheless, ran from her like she was out to get him.

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing

"Why do people love to assume that because I'm young I must know nothing about love or heartbreak?" Y/N had asked one day. No one answered. No one knew, they only knew that they were all too aware of just how much she truly knew about both of those things.

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

"I want a blue jay on my forearm. Full color. Can you do that?"

Y/N had walked into the tattoo parlor like she owned the place. She needed a way to let him permanently linger. The kiss of a needle in her skin the only way to physically represent him.

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

"What if I had made him stay?!"

"Y/N there's nothing you could've done that would change things."

"But what if—"

"There was nothing any of us could do."

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

"Thought you told me that you quit smoking years ago Red."

"Yeah, well, old habits die hard."

"Rough day huh?"

"Yeah. Girlfriend from before all this almost saw me in the library today. She doesn't know about me."

"About you being a vigilante?"

"She thinks I'm dead."

"You know, maybe I'll do this and be totally mistaken and realize im delusional, but I swear to whatever fucking god is listening if i tear off that domino mask and Jason Todd is under there I will be pushing you off this rooftop."

"If I've been hanging out with Y/N this whole time I'm throwing myself off."

'Cause I knew everything when I was young

Y/N was playing a show in Los Angeles, touring at age 15 was insane, but then again, she never thought anyone would listen to her music.

"Alright everyone, I may be young, but I also consider myself to be quite versed in romance, who knows, maybe it's my lovely boyfriend, or the fact that I'm a hopeless romantic, but either way, this one's called Favorite Record!"

Even at a young age, she'd known everything she needed to about love, because it encased her every moment she spent with her favorite person.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time

She sat at Jason's grave in the Wayne family plot for more hours than she could count, swearing at his headstone

"God dammit! Why didn't you come home? Why didn't you come back to me?" Sobs wracked her body. "I was waiting for you to come home."

Chasin' shadows in the grocery line

Every once in a while Y/N would see someone and think someone was him. Maybe it was her brain's sick way of coping. She reached towards the stranger in front of her.

"Excuse me-"

But when he turned around Jason was gone. It was just another high school boy who had vaguely reminiscent hair.

I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

A knock came on Y/N's bedroom window. She opened it warily before the Red Hood came clinking in.

"Thrill of letting me think you were dead over?"

"Y/N please-"

"Did you sit and watch as I grieved? Stand by while I lost my mind because I thought I'd lost you?"

"Sweetheart just let me explain–"

"Don't fucking 'sweetheart' me. Get out. Get out of my fucking room."

And you'd be standin' in my front porch light

"Get off my damn porch Jason." He was standing in civilian clothes, shuffling his feet nervously as if he was a little kid again.

"Not until you let me explain!"

"Fine. You get to come in for five minutes. See if you can explain to me how there is any way you can justify this."

And I knew you'd come back to me

Y/N sat with her jaw slack in shock after hearing Jason's story. How saying he died wasn't even a lie, how he'd been brought back, the madness he'd experienced, the resentment for nobody killing the Joker. (she flat out told him she would've if she thought she could do it without getting herself killed in the process)

"i'm such a fucking asshole."

"No you aren't"

"No you went through this whole traumatic experience and I've just been a dick to you!"

"And it's been totally justified! You should've been the first person to find out I was back. Honestly I'm surprised Dick or Bruce didn't tell you..."

"I'm going to ignore the urge to castrate both of them and just be happy you came back to me."

You'd come back to me

"I'll always come back to you."

And you'd come back to me

"Make sure you come back in one piece?" They were on the same mission, much to Jason's dismay, but they had to be split up.

"When have I ever not come back to you?"

"...."

"Don't answer that."

And you'd come back

They'd made it out of that atrocious mission. It all worked out in the end but it certainly had taken longer than they planned.

"hey, you came back in one piece, just like I asked."

"I always do, just for you."

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan

Under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favorite

Y/N heard Jason coming in. His duffel bag clunked loudly against their closet floor, and she assumed he changed out of his gear at a safehouse before returning to their apartment. She flipped over the edge of the blanket, making room for him to crawl in bed with her. Once sufficiently comfortable behind her, arms wrapped tightly around her waist, Jason spoke.

"Hey Y/N?"

She turned around in his arms so she could face him. "Uh oh, you didn't call me any kind of pet name, just my name, whats up?"

"Nothing I just... I just wanted to let you know you're still my favorite."

~

The tears were flowing freely by then. The audience screamed, cheering at the sweet song. “My favorite person didn’t get to be around for a while, but… he came back to me, and that’s all that matters. Now that's enough crying, I’ve got some much more fun songs, ARE YOU READY GOTHAM CITY!?” And with that, the show went on.

Hours later, Y/N made her way backstage, where she was immediately enveloped by the arms of a mystery man. She wasn’t scared though, she knew who it was. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he spun her around. 

He sat her down gently, beaming. “You wrote a song about me?” “Jay… baby a lot of my songs are about you.” 

“What?”

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you managed to not know that even though I’ve told you before.”

“I just assumed you weren’t serious!”

“... You really think that Lover or Lucky People or Favorite Record, could have possibly been about anyone else?”

“And if I just like hearing you say it?”

“Then I’ll tell you forever.” When their lips met, it was a promise, one that this, this feeling in this moment, was real, and that it wouldn’t ever go away, because they knew everything when they were young. 

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #the red hood #red hood x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd fluff #jason todd angst #red hood angst #oh how i love this man #need to marry him NOW

[ourshadowstallerthanoursoul]

An audience with... John Paul Jones

(from Uncut, April 2010 - link)

You’re stuck on a deserted island, you have one instrument you can bring. It is: a) piano, b) bass or c) mandolin? (Gary Attersley, Ontario, Canada)

Oh… that’s horrible! I’ll probably get Hugh Manson – the guy who builds all my bass guitars – to build me some monstrous instrument that encapsulated all three! Hugh and his brother Andy Manson once actually designed me a triple-necked guitar with 12-string guitar, six-string guitar and mandolin on it! Andy also designed a triple-necked mandolin. But I guess if it really came down to it on a desert island, it would have to be the piano, because you can do so much on it. You’re a whole band. The bass is not much fun on your own.

John, it’s so good to see you so engaged with today. Any advice for old farts who can’t move on? (Andrew Loog Oldham)

Who are you calling an old fart? I dunno, Andy, you tell me! Ha ha. He’s done a good job of staying up to date. Andrew, of course, gave me the name John Paul Jones. I was John Baldwin, until Andrew saw a poster for the French film version of John Paul Jones. I thought it ’d look great in CinemaScope, as I wanted to do music for films. I imagined it saying “Music By John Paul Jones”, over the whole screen. I never realised then that he was the Horatio Nelson of America!

I know that you’ve been getting heavily into bluegrass lately – who are some of your favourite bluegrass artists of all time? (Ryan Godek, Wilmington, Delaware)

Apart from Bill Monroe, you mean? Oh, there’s loads. I’m friends with the Del McCoury band, I love that style of classic bluegrass. I love Sam Bush’s Newgrass stuff. And of course there’s Nickel Creek, Chris Feely, Mike Marshall. I love it all, really. One thing I like about bluegrass is that you don’t require amplifiers, drums and trucks. You can pull an instrument out of a box and get on with some instant music making. I carry a mandolin around wherever I go. I also like the fact bluegrass musicians play more than one instrument. There’s a tradition of them swapping instruments. In bluegrass bands I swap between double bass, fiddle and banjo.

One Butthole Surfers anecdote, please? (Dave Grohl)

Ha! I was brought in to produce the Butthole Surfers’ 1993 album, Independent Worm Saloon. I guess it was to give it a heavy rock vibe, but it didn’t work like that. They were actually incredibly hard-working in the studio, but I do recall running up a phenomenal bar-bill at the San Rafael studio. And then there was Gibby [Haynes, Butthole Surfers’ frontman] and his… eccentric studio behaviour. Gibby did one vocal take shouting into his guitar. He held it out in front of his face and screamed at it. Ha! He was trying to find out if it picked up through the pick-ups, which it kind of did. And that was pretty good.

How’s the violin coming along? (Sean, Berkshire)

I started about three years ago. With the guitar, or the piano, you can sound OK quite quickly. With the violin, it takes much longer. Once you get past the first six months of scraping, of muttering to yourself, “What is this fucking horrible noise on my shoulder?” you get the odd musical bit, and you think, ‘Oh, this is starting to get good.’ And you continue with it for a while. I’m getting into country fiddle playing, Celtic folk songs, a bit of swing. Basic stuff, but very satisfying.

Why not record a second ‘Automatic For The People’ with REM? (Franz Greul, Austria)

They haven’t asked me! But doing the string arrangements for that album was a great experience, actually. They sent me the demos of their songs, and we went into a studio in Atlanta, with members of the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra. They were great songs, something you can really get your teeth into as an arranger. And I’ve been good friends with them ever since.

How did you first meet Josh Homme? And is he still a notorious party monster? (Rob Hirst, Kippax, Leeds)

Well, I think we’ve all calmed down rather a lot. Dave introduced me to Josh at his 40th birthday party. It was a ridiculous themed place where they have jousting with knights. As Dave said, it was like somewhere you’d have your 14th birthday party. Or maybe even your 4th. Anyway, Dave sat Josh and I together for a blind date. Which was reasonably embarrassing for both of us, surrounded by people going “prithee this” and challenging each other to duels. But we survived the trauma and went into the studio the next day, and just started jamming. And I knew immediately it was going to be something special.

If Them Crooked Vultures had Spice Girls-like nicknames what would they be? (Paul Jones, Liverpool)

Dave would be Smiley Vulture. He can’t stop grinning. Josh would be Slinky Vulture. He’s a slinky kinda guy. And I’d be Speedy, I guess. Or Jumpy. So there you go. Smiley, Slinky and Speedy. Or does that sound more like the dwarfs?

I remember you being a pretty funky bass genius back in the day! What memories do you have of those sessions? (Donovan)

The sessions with Don and Mickie Most were great, because we were given a free hand. I usually got leeway, because I was the sort of Motown/Stax specialist, so producers in the mid ’60s would get me in for cover versions of American records, and none of them could write bass parts convincingly enough, so I was London’s answer to James Jamerson, I guess! And I was certainly encouraged to get kinda… funky when I worked with Donovan.

How did it feel to see Jimmy Page and Robert Plant venture off in their own project in the ‘90s without mentioning a word of it to you? (Danny Luscombe, Hull)

Oh yeah, I was pissed off about it. The surprise was in not being told. It’s ancient history now, but it was a bit annoying to find out about it while reading the papers. It came just after Robert and I had been discussing the idea of doing an Unplugged project. Then I’m on tour in Germany with Diamanda Galás, I turn on the TV and see Robert and Jimmy doing it, with someone else playing all my parts! I was pissed off at the time. You would be, woudn’t you? But… it’s all in the past, isn’t it?

Did you listen to much work by Josh Homme or Dave Grohl before you were contacted in relation to joining Them Crooked Vultures, and if so, how did you honestly rate it? (Ralph Ryan, Lisronagh, County Tipperary)

I did like the Foo Fighters and Queens Of The Stone Age, before I’d met either of them. There’s a tendency for people – especially musicians from my generation – to say that there has been this terrible decline in musicianship, that today’s bands haven’t got the chops, blah blah blah. But that’s not true at all. There’s always some people for whom technique on an instrument isn’t necessary. They can get their ideas across without being able to have the chops. But Josh really does have the chops, he just doesn’t feel the need to flash them about all the time. In fact, there were a few riffs he gave me that I had to simplify, because they were bloody difficult to play. I really had to work at it, where he could just flick it off. He is an astonishing musician.

Were you serious when you told Peter Grant that you wanted to jack it in to become choirmaster at Winchester Cathedral? (Brian Fisher, Manchester)

Ha! That was a tongue-in-cheek joke, although I was serious about leaving Led Zeppelin in 1973 unless things changed. But Peter did sort things out pretty quickly. What kind of choirmaster would I have made? A bloody good one! Listen, any way that they’ll pay you for making music is just the best situation in the world. I’d do it for nothing. I don’t care what music it is. I just love it all. The rubbing of notes together. I love it all. I would be very passionate about whatever I decided to do.

What was the worst session you ever did as a jobbing session player? (Adam Burns, Castleford, West Yorkshire)

I generally have fun memories of that time. I’d criss-cross London playing two or three sessions a day, going between Trident and Olympic and Abbey Road and Philips in Marble Arch, you know. You’d be backing Shirley Bassey, Cat Stevens, Lulu, whoever was paying you. The worst experience was a Muzak session. With Muzak sessions, the music was deliberately boring. I distinctly remember one session where I embellished the bass part a little bit, just so that it wasn’t so boring for me to play. They said, “No, you can’t do that. Any interest in the music will distract people’s attention from when they’re meant to be eating.” Or standing in a fucking lift. For fuck’s sake! So I was like, “OK, thanks, bye!”

#john paul jones #jonesy #led zeppelin #robert plant #planty #jimmy page #pagey #john bonham #bonzo #60s #70s #70s rock #70s music #rock music #ourshadowstallerthanoursoul

[securityholograms]

I confess I am very curious. What would your ideal casting be for a DJKT production of Cabaret?

oh my god, first of all, I could yap about this for hours so thanks so much for the question! (edit after typing out a bit of it: it’s already very long i’m so so sorry)

For the casting itself, I’m mostly gonna ignore the vocal ranges because I don’t really know how deep or high the djkt people can go so take that with a grain of salt😭 and i’m going off of the characters that are currently in the production in Prague (so only one KitKat boy, but they could easily add “Victor” like some other productions have etc.)

Now the characters:

Emcee: You really need someone who’d be comfortable with the whole exhibitionist shtick and can carry the show on their back. I feel like Lukáš Ondruš could pull it off (it= being a creepy little guy) but my secret wish is Pavel R.😭the reasoning is just that I know he’d lowkey love the attention and he’s been getting all the /sexy leading man/ dudes lately, which is so valid for him, but I also kinda need more from him at this point and this would be it🙏🏻( # PavelForAFreak )

Sally: Naty Dvořáková would be great, after hearing her Mary Magdalene, I think her voice would suit sally really well and she’d drive the emotional ending home. If I wanted to give a leading role to someone who hasn’t gotten one in a while- Karolína Krausová, I really loved her in Píseň pro Ninu and this is in the same category (kind of).

bonus: If she hasn’t aged out of the role.. Soňa👉👈 she’s mother to me and this would fix me (or make me worse)

Cliff: Oh boy. this is a big one for me (clearly lmao) This might be an unpopular opinion but even though Cliff is kind of in the shadow of Sally and the MC, especially in the newest West End revival (soon a broadway revival) I really believe he’s the heart of the show, he’s the audience’s link to the characters, It’s who we relate to and who is, ultimately, the good guy. And so I think he’s kind of quietly what makes or breaks the show in the end (the emotional aspects of it at the very least)….

Ok, that was a long ass way of saying I’d obviously need Pavel Klimenda as Cliff ✨ He’s showed times and times again he’s really good at the “Am I gonna finish this or is it gonna finish me” sad boy agenda, so I think he’d easily pull it off and break all of our hearts along the way. BUT HERE’S where the real conundrum appears⬇️

Bobby: So if I assume we only get one kitkat boy, it’ll be Bobby. He’s the one who’s hooked up with Cliff in London and that affair kind of re-ignites when Cliff comes to Berlin. In the Prague production, Bobby’s wearing fishnets and heels (they’re HIGH heels) and I can’t really see who from djkt could slay in the same way Pavel Klimenda could. We’ve already seen him do the slightly more fem roles in Otřást vesmírem and Fun Home + he’s a great dancer, which works super well for Bobby.. Buuut he’s already my Cliff here so that’s kind of fucked and idrk what to do with this one😭😂

… ok, going back to Cliff, I think Dušan could do Cliff really well too (he has that sincerity about him when he wants to) so maybe i’ll change my answer to that so that it could actually work. And if I go even more crazy, Adam Rezner’s take on Cliff could be interesting🧐

Ernst: if I’m going off of the typecasting that djkt usually does(sorry ok), it’s Hruškoci and it’s not even close😭 My slightly more adventurous pick would be Pavel R., he needs to play a hatable character (that people don’t want to fuck) just once tbh and I think he’d appreciate the challenge.

Fräulein Schneider: (keeping this short) Stanislava Topinková Fořtová

Herr Schultz: hmmm i don’t know the older guys that well so i don’t have anything smart to say on this one 🥲

—

Alright so.. this is a fucking mess, if you’ve made it through to here, I applaud you. I do really hope that we’ll get to see it at some point, though🥲

#djkt #txt #fancast #cabaret

[littleladymab]

Fic Authors Self-Rec!

Ahhhh thank you @fourteenfifteen for the tag! (You can find Hen's post over here!)

Rules: When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let's spread the self-love

Also I'm totally going to CHEAT, because I absolutely LOVE my two big series that are NOT popular at all LMAO

the scars that we're made of series! This is my "Star Wars Rebels S5" fic. This is my "did you hate the ahsoka show for yes girl giving us nothing??" this is my "do you also want to know what happens after rebels but don't want it to be EXCLUSIVELY thranto?" THIS IS MY FAVORITE SERIES I'VE WRITTEN like the whole thing top to bottom bangers imo It's not yet finished, I still have to write my Eli prequel but honestly, if you love Rebels, read this! Here's the tumblr post for main fic, far from the world that i made.

inside every open eye series! This is a fantasy Magnus Archives fic, in which Sasha steps in to take over the role of the Archivist after Jon goes missing during a ritual for the Beholding. I love a lot of the visuals from this, and I loved writing for Sasha -- plus there's a lot of fun side-stories. This one is complete! Here's tumblr post for the main fic, tiny cracks of light.

my place to land. What is UP SIGNET/ECHO NATION, ALL FIVE OF YOU! I wrote a novel for my rare pair because i am actually three bodyguard AUs in a trench coat captaining the good ship I made up. Twilight Mirage is still my favorite fatt season, because it is exactly my aesthetic and also, Signet is there. This is still one of my favorite fics, even though I can think of many things that i would change upon a rewrite. I got a lot of amazing gift art from friends when I was updating it, too, and I treasure everyone who came to read it!! It is currently still the longest fic in the fatt tag, but not for long it does look like there is someone rapidly catching up with 74k on a 6/14 chapter fic. It was fun while it lasted! Unfortunately, twitter moments went kaput so I will have to figure out some other way to put all the wonderful fanart everyone made for me!

'til my lungs burn bright. Affectionately called my "regency magic spies AU" for Ace Attorney, specifically this is for AA4/Klapollo!! This is a sequel to a fic I haven't finished yet! (Someone encourage me to finish the main fic! it's what i'm supposed to be working on this month!!) I love this setting SO much and I loved making all the little references to in-game moments. Here's the tumblr link to the fic ;) I had a hard time picking between this and my sleeping beauty klapollo au.... Also shout-outs to Joanie for doing the WONDERFUL art for it!!! (I should actually go put it in-line with the fic text too oops)

Theseus' Ship. The Anders Defender has LOGGED THE FUCK ON. That's it that's the post. No okay, it's an Anders character study and i think it absolutely slaps. Here's the tumblr link to the fic!

Bonus very short fic that I still enjoy, which you can also read even if you're not in the fandom, but Five Steps To Ensure Your Soulmate Becomes a Ghost from Rusty Quill Gaming.

Honestly I love everything I write because I am an audience of me first. The current version of my masterpost has links out to a lot of my fics from different fandoms -- like some of my other friends at the table content and my jgm labyrinth au and my lockwood fic! That's my best piece of advice: love what you write, and write for yourself first! And then the two little freaks in your group chat second 💞 I wouldn't have been able to do most of these fics without the besties, so thank you to everyone who has read my novel-length fics.

Tags: Scrambling to think of any of my fic writing friends let's goooo @luukeskywalker, @mariusperkins, @lesbianahsokatano, @redtailedhawk90, @bardicspiration, @krisseycrystal , @strangeharpy and there's so many of you i love you all, please go flaunt your writing and talk about your five favorite fics!! and tag me!!

#a lil miss fic #just generally a huge shoutout to kaite for being my number 1 hype man i couldn't do this without u bestie!!! #argh does anyone know why tumblr will untag people but still pretend like they're tagged

[fizzyxcustard]

Betrayal

Masterlist of all fanfiction

Masterlist of Betrayal

AO3 link to all my fan fictions

Fandom: Crossover of Spooks and Pilgrimage (Modern AU)

Pairings: Lucas North x OC/Raymond de Merville x OC

Warnings: Love triangle. Angst. Language. Smut. Cheating.

Summary: Amy Holland is Lucas North’s girlfriend of six months. Amy is aware of his job as an MI-5 agent and supports him. However, Lucas’ cousin, Raymond de Merville, has always loved Amy and uses their one night stand together as leverage for something more.

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in. I’m gradually removing people from my tag lists who do not interact.

I'm reposting this because for some reason the chapter 1 link has stopped working - I think I may have accidentally deleted chapter 1 at some point. So I'm re-posting and updating onto my masterlist. I won't tag anyone.

Raymond watched Lucas and Amy from across the room. They were happy, content. But all he could see was something he wanted. He wanted to be Lucas; holding Amy tight, having her look at him with such devotion in her eyes.

Amy’s gaze drifted from Lucas as he pulled himself away from her and got up to get more drinks from the kitchen. She nervously looked across at Raymond, noticing that his eyes were on her. Those eyes were so much like Lucas’, only angrier.

“If you don’t tell him then I will,” Raymond snarled.

“About what?” Amy asked, being taken off guard by Raymond’s fierce tone.

“Us.”

“What do you mean ‘us’? There is no 'us’, Raymond. There never was. It was a stupid mistake,” Amy hissed, her eyes darting towards the door to make sure that Lucas was definitely out of earshot.

“You tease me when you’re together,” Raymond replied. He slipped closer to her, pushing himself to the edge of the armchair. “I see you look at me, wanting to have an audience.”

“Fuck off!” Amy growled. “This is in your head. If it bothers you that much then you don’t have to come round as often as you do.”

“I see you blush when I walk past you,” Raymond purred. He got up and leaned down towards Amy’s ear. “I can almost hear you groan like you did when I fucked you. You break it off with him, or I’ll tell him every minute detail of what we did. That was definitely my name you moaned in my ear, not his. You want me.”

Amy shivered, and shifted away.

Lucas came back into the room and put the open bottles of lager and cider on the coffee table. He sat back down beside Amy, curling his arm around her shoulder.

Raymond’s eyes grew dark and Amy watched his jaw clench. The frustration was building, and Amy was sure that he would blow any second. It never took much to cause a volatile Raymond de Merville to explode.

Half hour later, Amy told Lucas that she had a headache and wanted to leave. “Give me a second and I’ll grab my coat and walk you home,” Lucas said, getting to his feet.

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll walk her back,” Raymond offered.

“No, it’s alright. Lucas can take me,” Amy demanded.

“You live closer to me. It’s not fair making him go out when you’re on the way back to mine,” Raymond grinned.

“Thanks, mate,” Lucas replied. “I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

Raymond’s eyes sparkled in wicked delight as he escorted Amy out of Lucas’ flat. Just as the door closed behind them and Amy had given her boyfriend their usual goodnight kiss, Raymond placed his hand on the small of her back.

Immediately Amy recoiled. “Don’t touch me, Raymond,” she grimaced. “You’re fucking enjoying this too much. Why would you want to do this to your cousin? Lucas is a good man.”

Raymond chuckled as they walked. “Come on, you haven’t exactly been an angel, have you? Only a month into your relationship with him, and you were shagging me.”

“It was once!”

“I didn’t tie your hands behind your back and force you to do it. Although I can imagine that would have been quite fun.”

“You’re absolutely disgusting.”

Amy and Raymond walked the dark London street, passing shops that were just beginning to close. There was still plenty of traffic around, mainly taxis escorting inebriated customers back home after a night of alcohol consumption.

“Please, Raymond. Don’t tell Lucas. I love him,” Amy begged. She looked at Raymond, seeing so much of Lucas in his face, considering they were only cousins. Was that why she had slept with him? She wanted to taste that man who seemed to be a physical representation of a darker Lucas North.

Raymond stopped suddenly and looked at her. “I have to see that bastard live the life I want whenever he’s with you.” His words were cold, full of venom.

“Raymond…” Amy began. “Don’t. You’re pinning everything on me…”

“I fucking love you, Amy.”

Amy felt those shivers race up her spine again and she closed her eyes, allowing one tear to drip down her cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You can’t stop that,” Raymond said. “That pain is my own doing.”

The two of them stopped under a streetlamp, illuminated. There was no one else around as they looked at each other, their bodies shifting closer like magnets. Raymond leaned down and brushed his lips across hers, his stubble tickling her.

“Please, don’t…” she whispered.

“Break up with him, or I tell him everything that happened between us.”

Amy knew he was serious. His eyes were hard with resolve, icy. “And what have you got to offer that’s better than what Lucas has? I’m assuming that you want to take over from where he left off if I break up with him.”

“I wouldn’t keep putting my job before you. His dedication to duty is admirable, but you should come first. I imagine you get lonely at night. I’d make sure you were looked after…and, of course, completely satisfied. I know you enjoyed that night. I felt you shake. How often does he make you come like that?”

Amy looked away, feeling those waves of arousal wash over her again. It was all building, exactly like it had done when she gave in to her primal need and let him have her. Truth be told, Amy had never orgasmed as hard as she did when with Raymond. It literally took her breath away, rendering her speechless for a few seconds afterwards. Her whole body had become weak in the quake, her nerve endings in shreds. Her body was left warm, filled with those wonderful endorphins.

Raymond also recollected that night. Something had snapped in Amy, an inhibition that had always been in place when with Lucas. Not that he was at their window when they made love. But Raymond could sense it. Amy had reacted so naturally to Raymond’s roughness, welcoming it. Ever since she had left his flat that night, he had yearned for more of her. Taking her, with him behind, her bent over the sofa, hard and fierce, had not been enough. Taking her, positioned against the wall, him pounding in with sharp, angled thrusts, was not enough. Then taking her again, this time with her on top, her hips bobbing back and forth so rhythmically and him fondling her breasts, was not enough. The blow job she had later given him, with him holding her head in place, had not been enough.

Once at Amy’s flat and she let the floodgates open. She asked him in, knowing full well what his answer would be. Now that the floodgates were open, would she be able to close them again?

#Lucas North #Lucas North x OC #Raymond de Merville #Raymond de Merville x OC #Modern! Raymond de Merville #Spooks #MI5 #Pilgrimage (2017) #Crossover #Original Female Character #Richard Armitage

[artis-lined]

HELL YEAH IVE BEEN WAITING 4 THIS QUESTION--

long story short, yes, it was incredible and if ur able to see it I would HIGHLY recommend getting tickets

Going into detail tho...

Let's start off w/ Jordan Fisher since he was (imo) the weakest link of the main cast. The end of Joannah was kinda anticlimactic and his vocal range wasn't the best. You could tell he didn't have opera lessons or smthn whilst the whole cast was very classical sounding, but I'm going to take a guess he just didn't have enough breath support since he sounded a bit shakey towards the end. He was stronger in the second act tho he wasnt rlly belting then. Jordan Fisher has never rlly surprised me vocally, but that's not rlly a bad thing, I just kinda wish they casted someone a bit more fit for the role.. but if that was the "worst" thing abt the show, I think it's going to be just fine.

The ensembles dancing was either hit or miss, some of it was very awkward whilst other numbers was incredible and clever. For "there was a barber and his wife" They had two dancers on a platform where they danced in the dark and it made them seem like silhouettes in the moonlight. Seeing as the show is still in previews, tho, they still have time to patch it up :).

Gaten Matarazzo was great as Toby and had nice vocals. I was also able to see him in deh and although he was more a talking role I think he is a great singer and actor. He definitely pulled off the ending as well and didn't worry about looking attractive or something while conveying to the audience that he had succumbed to the stress of his situation. Believe it or not I've seen a few shows where an actor would try to make themself look hot but also insane and its just kinda annoying tbh-- like they always sacrifice being believable over being handsome/pretty. All in all, he is a great performer and had wonderful stage presence.

Johanna was incredible. Like actually incredible. Green finch and linnet bird is one of my favorite numbers and she did it justice. I forget her actresses name unfortunately, but she was truly Johanna when she was onstage, and embodied the character beautifully.

Beedle was hateable as was the judge, but that's good because it means that they did their job well. Funny thing is that when he said his line "Deceiving slut!" A person behind me just went "oh-- 😨" and it was clear everyone was surprised.

The beggar woman was so good omg-- like she was great at switching between personalities when begging and it was so funny at times but other times it had the audience sobbing or thinking.

Mrs. Lovett was so incredibly funny it was unexpected. She's no Angela Lansbury but I think it's unfair to compare them to each other since no one is going to be as great as her. She was very lively and I never felt bored when she was onstage! Well-- I was never bored during the show but you know what I mean! Her songs were great and she has her own little twist on things. I don't know if they changed the key for "worst pies in london" bc I haven't listened to the og recording a lot but I wouldn't be surprised since every Mrs. Lovett has had a different key it seems. I really hope I get to see her in something else because she was just so fun to watch and I just loved her so much!

And finally...

JOSH FUCKING GROBAN LEZZ FUCKING GOOOO--

I love that man! I fucking love that man so much 😭!

He was absolutely incredible. My mother said she doubted he would be able to pull off an insane middle aged man but my god, he did it. It was strange to see him being so mean and malicious considering he seems so nice irl, but he was so great and I'm so glad he got to play Sweeney. And I'm even more thrilled that I got to SEE him play Sweeney. His vocals were stunning and he was incredible at acting (even if Todd himself is a rather silent and monotonous man).

So yes, all in all, it was amazing and I rlly hope I'll see it again! Here are some pictures of the stage and playbill :)

@succsessions @mystically-michaela

#josh groban #sweeney todd revival #sweeney todd #johanna todd #mrs. lovett #johanna

[crows-home]

for the get to know your fic writer thing- 3, 7, 17, and 11!

(3 - Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic)

(7 - How do you choose which POV to write from?)

(17 - What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

(11 - Link your three favorite fics right now)

This answer got a little long uh. oops! ^^" Here's my silly answer, but my more in depth answers will be below the cut

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Usually it starts with a little idea in my brain. A "gosh wouldn't this be such an interesting/ fun scenario?" They're usually just for me to play in my own brain as bedtime stories, and nothing more. But sometimes I'm hit with that itch to write and get something out there.

I do what I like to call "word vomit." Just. Writing whatever the hell comes to my mind. Here are some examples I found in my doc that make me laugh looking back now

The beginning phase is just me going ham!! Throwing ideas at the wall, typing whatever's in my head without spell check or care. Like i'm writing notes to myself.

After that I do "scenes." Basically just breaking down big moments of the fic that I have in my head and writing them down. You know those moments/ideas that you come up with in your head that you can't stop relaying? That.

After that it's just connecting the dots, making everything fit together. I like to think of it like painting. Mixing together colors, seeing what fits and what doesn't, using different brushes. Sometimes I'll get through a scene and realize I'm rambling too much, it has too much dialogue, it doesn't make sense with the story- so I scrap that piece or find a way to save it for a different part of the story.

Then editing. A lot of editing. And hating what I wrote, wondering why people like it. Leaving the canvas alone for a while, coming back and going "actually i really like this. this is so fucking cool, especially for what i have planned at the end hehehe" Sometimes I polish it up in a way that i like, sometimes I go "fuck it. it's good enough"

And THEN it's done :)

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

It's a few factors! Sometimes it's based on what I think would be fun (ex: "What if I wrote a fanfiction from Sonic's perspective. What might he have been thinking/ going through?") But sometimes it's what I want my readers to see.

Like, in the last chapter of "You are at your lowest", I wrote in Rouge's perspective during her meet-up with a certain character. That's because I intentionally didn't want the audience to have the other character's P.O.V. I wanted to leave readers wondering/ guessing/ confused.

17 - What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Depends!! If I'm not feeling inspired, I'll usually check on Tumblr or instagram to get back in the mood/ vibe or read some comments that people have left!! They really pull my head out of a dull space when i need it :) <3 If I've got writer's block, I'll either take weeks off writing or force myself to sit down and just write, no matter how bad it is. Then I just work with what I have.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

aaaaaaa ok i love reccing fics and i have a lot but here's a few:

Slumber Party by Detton

Summary: Edward Richtofen and his traveling partner, "Tank" Dempsey try to survive in an ice apocalypse.

It's been years since i've played CoD- probably almost a decade, now- but a while ago went looking for Zombies fics for the nostalgia of it. And ough, this fic has my heart!! A Dempsey/Richtofen WIP that includes the main four and their interactions in an ice apocalypse. i just really like it a lot, and if this is your thing, i recommend it!! It's super sweet, and has superb writing 👌

The Buzzsaw Dilemma by redpenship

Summary: How do you stop an unstoppable force?

Three weeks after meeting Sonic, Tails is kidnapped by Doctor Eggman and tasked with building a machine capable of defeating the hedgehog. His success marks his first day as the doctor's secret apprentice, in which he must help the Eggman Empire against his will.

Tails becomes determined to use what little power he has to reduce the empire’s harm. When larger threats arise, he realizes that he can use his influence to save the world—and if all goes well, destroy the empire from the inside out, too.

If only alien invasions didn’t make things so complicated.

OUOSUDHFSFHSDH OBSESSED!!! oh man, a WIP about Tails being forced to help Eggman, and I'm super stoked to see where it goes. But heed the tags, because it does say "Major Character Death" and "Animal death"!! I'm so enthralled by the world building and reading this take on Sonic and Tails. Brainworms!!

Lastly I'm gonna link Sometimes the Picket Fence isn't Perfect by @skimmingmilk. It's a whole series on Sonic and Tails finessing their way past Mobian CPS and it's just so hasdkasdbkhas.

i'm still getting caught up, but i watched the last bit of the latest work being written on stream a few days ago and i 🥹🥺😭 they're so cute. They're brothers your honor!!

#answers #seeing soulkiah in my inbox i 😳 lol thanks for the ask!! #SORRY THIS TOOK HOURS TO ANSWER LMAO #i had so so so much fun answering this one!!!! aaa i really wanted to talk about my writing process #i am. so sleepy. but im so down for continuing answering more of these through the weekend! #ok goodnight cleveland #edit: RIP I TAGGED THE WRONG BLOG TOT my baaadddd

[pinkykats-place]

BakuDeku Fanfic Recommendations

Deku stops calling Bakugo “Kacchan”

Archive of our own

Disclaimers!

None of the stories linked below are mine.

Art belongs to @spatziline

Note: If you read any of these works and like them please let the author know with a kudos and/or comment!

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me? by reading_raindrop

Summary: “A-ah B-Bakugou! You dropped some pencils!”

Katsuki stiffened. Kirishima and Kaminari froze. Basically, everyone within earshot stopped what they were doing to look at Izuku like he sprouted a second head. What did he just call him?

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“U-um I said you dropped some pencils! I think this eraser might be yours to-”

“No. What the fuck did you just call me?”

Complete | 4 Chapters

Rated - Teen & Up

Forgive Me? by miraculousemily47

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki is having a bad day. In a fit of rage at the world, he yells at Midoriya Izuku and says things he doesn't mean. When he tries to apologize, Izuku is nowhere to be found. By the time they see each other again, Izuku had already resolved to leave Katsuki alone.

Complete | 3 Chapters

Rated - Teen & Up

Back to Kacchan by K5breana, snakeroot100

Summary: What would Bakugou do to make Midoriya stop saying Kacchan? How would Bakugou react? Would he be excited to be rid of the childish nickname or would he want to go back to being Kacchan?

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

Not your Kacchan by ikindalikemylifealittlenow

Summary: Izuku overhears Katsuki say that he hates the name “Kacchan” to the bakusquad, so he makes an effort to stop calling Katsuki by the childish nickname. For some reason, this doesn’t seem to make Katsuki happy.

Incomplete | 5/? Chapters

Rated - Explicit

MY NAME IS KACCHAN! by marzar

Summary: “Hey, Bakugou, do you have another pencil?”

Izuku stops calling Bakugou "Kacchan".

Bakugou has some feelings about that.

Complete | 3 Chapters

Rated - n/a

Midoriya Calls Him Bakugou by NightmarezReal

Summary: Bakugou starts to grow nervous. Somethings wrong. Deku hasn’t smiled at him in weeks. The half and half bastard is sticking way to close for comfort. What the hell did he do?

— — —

Or Izuku starts calling Katsuki by name and it freaks him out.

One Shot | UA Students

Rated - Explicit

The Elevator Incident by Sockwritesstuff

Summary: Bakugo had been avoiding Deku for a week now, and everybody was feeling the tension between the two. Honestly though what else was he supposed to do when Deku was so insistent on calling him by his actual name. Unfortunately for him though, he'd end up stuck in the dorm elevator with him. Forcing the two of them to actually communicate for once.

One Shot | SFW

Version of Me by StartOfTime

Summary: Izuku shakes his head. “No. I’m done, Katsuki. I’m done with you. The way you treat people… the way you treat me— I won’t put up with it anymore.”

Katsuki clenches his jaw, heart beating a little harder in his chest the way it always does whenever people talk about their feelings to him. He fucking hates it.

“Quit being dramatic. You’re not serious,” Katsuki asserts, though sensing that he is.

He briefly wonders if this is finally the last straw, if everyone has finally had enough of him. If Izuku has had enough of him.

Complete | 10 Chapters

Rated Teen & Up | UA Students

Gotchya by mysterymissteary

Summary: Izuku just wanted to pull a little prank. Just for fun. He called his partner by his family name.

One Shot | Pro Hero au

Rated - General Audiences

Don’t be stupid Deku by Original_Angel

Summary: Izuku had come to the terrible realization that Katsuki had finally left him behind. At first that thought had caused him so much heartache, but after a small outing with his friends, Izuku has found himself a lot more comfortable facing a life without Katsuki Bakugou.

Unfortunately, Katsuki Bakugou would rather die than living a life without Izuku Midoryia.

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

Say My Name by Sekai_Nerah

Summary: "Don't ever call me that again."

"Dude, chill..." Kirishima tries to sooth.

"You hear me?" Katsuki spat. "Don't call me Kacchan."

Or...

When Katsuki finally snaps at Kaminari to stop using that damn nickname but doesn't realize a certain Nerd has taken it to heart.

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

who the hell is 'babe'? by pinchingzuku

Summary: It's not that Katsuki didn't like the petnames-baby, princess, dork, lover, all that shit. But recently, that damn nerd has been refusing to call Katsuki what his actual name is. And no, it's not Katsuki.

One Shot | SFW

#archive of our own #bakudeku #fanfic recommendation #ao3 fic rec #bkdk fanfic #bakugou x midoriya #ua bakugo x midoriya #bnha recommendations #bnha fic recommendations #kacchan #ao3 bkdk #ao3 bakudeku recs #archive of our own bkdk #bakudeku recommendations #bakugou katsuki x midoriya izuku #stops calling bakugo kacchan #nicknames #slight angst #hurt/comfort #bkdk #angst to comfort #childhood nickname #bakudeku childhood friends #deku stops calling bakugo kacchan #izuku calls kacchan bakugo #midoriya calls bakugo by his last name #Midoriya stops saying Kacchan #bakudeku fic rec #bakudeku fic recs #deku stops saying kacchan

[3dnygma]

If doors could scream (Welcome Home one-shot)

POV: you are a sentient house

Characters: Wally Darling & Home, Robert Dorelaine, no romantic/sexual relationship

Teen & Up Audiences, Angst, Existential Horror (more tags on AO3)

Words: 949

AO3 Link

If doors could scream, you think to yourself, then these creatures would never have a restfull night.

But your doors can't scream - they can only creek. So you creek and you snarl and let your windows fly open on a stormy night. Anything to at the very least inconvenience the parasite nesting within your organs that he calls "furniture".

Once, you tried breaking one of your own windows to see what would happen if his skin was cut open with your glass shards.

In the end, it wasn't worth having the postman over the following day, poking around your frames for hours in order to fix them and sewing the monster's wound shut, which had some fiber sticking out of it with no blood in sight.

And of course, there was the pain. You didn't know that breaking glass would feel as if breaking a human bone. A stabbing sensation, reinforced whenever even the slightest breeze would soar through your exposed frames. That's what breaking a human boned used to feel like, right? You remember once breaking a leg when you were younger, although you don't quite remember how. Back then, you were still going by Ronald Dorelaine.

But him? He didn't at all seem affected by the wound you had given him. Because, supposedly, life would have been somewhat fair if you had managed to cause him a fraction of the pain that he has been caused you over the years.

You think about that night - and all your other desperate attempts to garner some sort of revenge. And while you are lost in your thoughts, he opens his mouth.

"Good night, Home. Sleep well."

There it is. That voice you practiced for days while staring in the mirror and hoping that the movement of your puppet's mouth would match your words perfectly. You had modelled the voice after your uncle Fitz and yourself, two tender creatives. It was monotone, yet light, with a dreamy nature. Back then, you had no idea how horrifying it could sound.

You take it in, sliding the sofa back and forth around your livingroom, accompanied by some creaking of your eastern walls. In this complex language you've aquired over the years, that means: You imbecile.You know I don't sleep. When have you ever witnessed me sleeping?

He chuckles. "I had a wonderful day, thanks for asking! Barnaby and I went to Howdy's store. Howdy was missing some crabs...I don't know why Howdy has crabs, but he does. Anyway, Barnaby and I looked for them aaaall around Home. It was really fun! Howdy was really happy ... when we got them back. Then, he gave us hotdogs! They were really good."

I don't care, you utter through a creeking floorboard in the bedroom. Why should I care about your day if all I can do with mine is bending some walls?

"Yes, it was a very nice day. But every day in Home ... is a nice day! I can't wait to find out what will happen tommorrow. And the day after tomorrow ... and the day after that!"

You ruined my life. I wish I had never created you. You're not Wally. You're a demon! Yes, it must have been Satan that offered me that deal. And now he is controlling your limbs instead of me. Don't you remember? I made you! I sewed you out of my mother's yellow fleece blanket! And this is how you repay me? By turning my legs into pillars and my head into a rooftop? Fuck you! I hope you swallow some of your paint and choke on it!

"Haha. Silly Home ... Please don't swear. It's not very nice ... to use bad words."

You and every single one of your planks freeze. Did he just-

"What is it, Home? Are you ... surprised? Do you think that ... I can't hear you? Well, I can! Most times, I just don't feel like ... answering. You are just so boring and ... repetitive. Haha."

That laugh causes your drain pipes to shake.

He gets out of bed, with his dainty robes and nightcap on. Then, he scratches the insides of your walls. If this still was your human body, you would compare the sensation to a cockroach crawling through your intestines. Now, you finally realize that he has been doing this intentionally.

His voice splits into two ends, rubbing at eachother like a squeaking chalkboard. "You must remember, Home. We made you. Without us, there would be no Welcome Home on the Tee-Vee. You wanted this ... yes? You wanted ... to be heard and seen ... on the Tee-Vee. You wanted everybody to feel your love ... deep inside of them. And soon, they will all feel it ... just like you! Many friends and fun voices, deep in their hearts."

Your walls and floors are shaking - and yet, he happily walks back to his bed, not paying the breakdown that his house is currently experiencing any mind.

"And until then ... we will have ... lots of fun, together!" His voice stabilizes itself once more. "Tomorrow, everybody from Home will visit us. Barnaby, Frank, Sally, ... the whole gang. They will all be here, on your floors, in your rooms. It will be fun! Well, for you it will hurt ... but it will be fun!"

He pauses.

"That's all. See you tomorrow, Home."

Then, he is fast asleep.

One floor down, your sink leaks a few droplets splashing down the drain. Your rooftop trembles ever so slightly, trying to not to wake up the monster inhabiting your insides. You now have these late hours to yourself, before that horrific cycle starts again tomorrow.

If houses could cry, I'm sure there would be a tragedy written in your name.

#hellooo this is my first fanfic in a while hope you guys enjoyed it #welcome home #welcome home fanfic #wally darling #robert dorelaine #home (welcome home arg) #horror fanfic #welome home* #my writing #my fanfic #mine

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, everyone, it’s here. Nish Kumar’s 2022 show Your Power, Your Control, on TV for everyone to see. If there’s anyone who wants to see it and can’t, send me a message or a non-anonymous ask and I’ll send you a link. Anyone, really. I really, really want everyone to watch this, and I am happy to share with absolutely everyone. I say this because I know what the culture’s like on this site, how people think “Oh I don’t know, I haven’t talked to that person before, I can’t just message them out of nowhere, it would be weird.” It won’t be. Even if I’ve never interacted with you before and we’re not mutuals or anything, if you want a link, ask. I want to spread this. Though if you live in the UK and are able to, you should watch this through official channels (Sky and Now TV) so he’ll get whatever support he’ll get from viewcount.

I saw this show twice last year. Once in mid-May in New York City, and once in late July in Montreal. When I booked tickets for his show in NYC, I didn’t know he was going to take the show to Just For Laughs in Montreal. If I had know that, I wouldn’t have booked the NYC tickets, because NYC is an 8.5-hour drive away, and requires crossing a national border, while Montreal is two hours away and in the same country as me. However, I’m glad I bought those tickets before I knew. Because the NYC show was amazing, and it was worth seeing twice. I hated the NYC trip, overall. My dad and I spent all day Saturday driving there, then slept on my brother’s uncomfortable couch (he was briefly living there at the time, so at least we didn’t have to pay for accommodation, which was nice), then spent all day Sunday driving back. I’d never been to that city before, and I didn’t like it, with its crowds and its skyrocketed COVID rates but no one was wearing masks, and its general atmosphere that I just hated. I hated every moment of the trip during which I was not in a room with Nish Kumar. And the whole thing was still worth it. And then of course I saw it again in Montreal. That’s how good a show it was.

The show changed a bit in the couple of months between the two I saw. The most notable being that in NYC, he complained about comedians who use their platform to be a dick to minorities, and then shouted: “Fuck you Dave Chappelle, fuck you Ricky Gervais!” In Montreal, he did the same routine, but this time ended it with: “Fuck you Dave Chapelle, fuck you Ricky Gervais, fuck you Jimmy Carr!” I am a bit curious to see if he leaves all those names in on the filmed version, particularly the last one as he was hanging out with Jimmy Carr on Katherine Ryan’s couch for her Backstage TV show not too long before this, it might fuck that up a bit.

The shows were mostly the same though, you don’t tend to take a show from England to NYC unless you’ve got your material pretty well worked out. The Montreal one did have some references to the fact that an Off Menu episode was recorded live at that same festival earlier that afternoon, and most of his audience had been there (I hadn’t been – I’d considered it because I like Ed Gamble and James Acaster, but the ticket price wasn’t worth it for a podcast I don’t listen to). He made a bunch of jokes about Ed and James, and then after some particularly harsh making fun of them, he added, “Obviously I’m just kidding, I love those guys, they’re my friends. I meant what I said about Gervais and Carr, though.”

Oh, there was something else that happened in Montreal but not in NYC. In Montreal, he was doing the part of the show where he explains that online abuse happens to everyone in the public eye, but it gets worse the more levels you are away from what’s thought of as the “default”. Then he started listing levels of “default”: white, straight, male, heterosexual, able-bodied, etc.

As he did so, I became very aware of my best friend, who was sitting next to me. I had dragged my best friend to Montreal with me, because I loved the show so much and I wanted him to see it too. He, however, is not into stand-up comedy. He’s not into any of this sort of thing at all. I’ve known him for 20 years, I met him because we were teammates in high school, and then after high school we took over as coaches, and we’ve now run a wrestling team together for many years. He is a 35-year-old (now 36) white straight guy who’s been an athlete all his life, and he looks it. He’s really cool for a jock, I swear. He’s a nice guy, he’s a feminist, he’s worked with me for many years to try to fight against the fucked up culture in sport. But he doesn’t, you know, look it. He looks like a jock. And he is a jock. He did not look like he belonged in a Nish Kumar gig. I didn’t realize how much he’d not fit in until we actually go there, and we sat in the front row of the 128-seat room, and everyone else looked like an artsy nerd, and I guess I looked like whatever in-between thing I am, and my best friend looked like a guy who should be in a sports bar and not in a Nish Kumar gig.

Anyway, when Nish Kumar started listing all the definitions of default, I felt slightly awkward, because my best friend is all those things. Now, I want to be clear, because Nis Kumar gets accused of this all the time and it’s fucking horrible when people say that shit: he was not deliberately making the rich straight white men in the room uncomfortable. He wasn’t saying “Fuck those people for being the default”. He was saying “It’s a fact that those people being the default mean, all else equal, they’ll get less online abuse than a visible minority for doing the same shit.” When I saw I felt a bit awkward, I mean that in a sort of affectionate way, when you’re sort of affectionately “called out” by a part of a comedy show, not that Nish Kumar was genuinely making his room an unsafe space for rich white men. Nish Kumar does not hate rich white men! Some of his best friends are Ed Gamble.

But I knew it was already a bit awkward for my friend, so when Nish started listing “straight, white, able-bodied, heterosexual…”, I put a hand on my friend’s shoulder, in a kind of reassuring way. Nish Kumar saw me do this, and stopped talking to laugh. Nish Kumar. Nish Kumar laughed, because of something I did, with the trademark wild infectious Nish Kumar laugh. Then he asked me, “Do you know that guy?” I said yes, and he said oh good, because it had looked like I might be just taking a guess about what he’s like based on his appearance. And that interaction with Nish Kumar is in the top ten coolest fucking things that’s ever happened to me.

So those are my personal stories from seeing that show. I know what it was like in May 2022, and I know it was like in July 2022, and I’m very curious as to what it was like in October 2022, which is when it was filmed. Both times I saw it, it ended with an extended routine about how fucked up it is that Britain worships some old lady (queen) and some special song (national anthem) and the big towel (flag). After that routine, he says, wouldn’t it be weird if she died while I was on stage? When people ask you where you were when the queen died, you’d have to say you were in a theatre, listening to a comedian be, if anything, too respectful about her.

…So even though I’ve seen the show twice, I’m guessing there will be at least a bit of stuff I haven’t heard before in the filmed version, because he’ll have to have rewritten that by October. There was also some stuff early in the show about Boris Johnson that was pretty current to when I saw it, I guess that’ll be different in October too. I’m looking forward to seeing that.

This post has been my preamble before I watch the long-awaited actual special. Just a place to record my thoughts going into it. I’m going to actually watch it now, and see how it compares to my memory of it. My memory of it is of one that did perfectly what I love in comedy – cover important personal stuff and cover important political stuff and tie the two together. Any show that does all three well, while also being funny, immediately becomes a favourite of mine (for another show that does that well, see Ahir Shah’s Ends, which just won the Edinburgh award and I’m very pleased about that). And God, it was fucking funny. Nish Kumar started the energy high, and I remember that both times I kept expecting him to at least start to run out of steam, and he never did. Never slowed down for a moment. Shouted at the crowd at a million words a minute, like he couldn’t wait to tell us everything he had to say, because it mattered and because it was worth saying and because it was funny enough to merit the time and space. I remember losing my breath laughing over and over and over, both times. I am prepared for the fact that some of that came from the atmosphere in the room and it won’t hit quite as hard through a screen. But still, it’s brilliant material, everyone needs to watch it. Like I said, message me for a link. I am here to spread the good news of Nish Kumar.

Also, happy birthday, Nish. It's a good day for comedy.

[caranoirs]

this is rushed and it’s 4am, but @embracethechange asked me about charles crowley, an indy britwres guy i love, so i’m infodumping about him here:

// bournes_photography

crowley's fairly new to the wrestling scene. i think he's got about five years of in ring experience (the earliest stuff i can find is from early 2018), but personally i never knew about him until i saw him at progress during the online pandemic era.

it goes without saying that his entrance is what captures most people immediately. the lights go out and you hear his voice introducing himself and the audience to the show, it's presented in very carnival-like way and that's a big theme with his gimmick; it's showmanship and performance, it's fun and full of mischief, tomfoolery and shenaniganry (apparently that's a word).

he steps out in a spotlight and it's all very dramatic, but suddenly the music switches up into something funky and crowley will typically start violently gyrating as he makes his way to the ring, throwing out a few middle fingers to members of the audience. you get the sense that he's a twat, the spectacular twat™ <- and yeah, that's literally his nickname.

he hasn't been involved in much as far as feuds and storylines go, but the most notable thing was his partnership-turned-obsolescence storyline with elijah at progress. it essentially follows the known showman/circus trope: crowley goes from being elijah's incredibly annoying but charismatic little shit of a manager (crowley would enthusiastically introduce him before matches, would fuck around by shit-talking their opponents, he would interfere during matches to guarantee elijah would win... with what was probably a 53% success rate) to — after some wins, losses, miscommunications, unsuccessful interferences, etc — becoming rejected by elijah and labelled as useless and obsolete, and crowley resorts to exiling himself to work out how to fix things.

in his desperate attempts to prove to elijah he was still useful, crowley becomes obsessed with this conspiracy he's developed: if elijah faces an opponent he's never wrestled before and loses, he will always beat them in their second match. he presents all this data and all this information to him, but there's a reveal; elijah realises he and crowley have only ever had one match against each other, and he had lost that match... meaning that if crowley was right about this conspiracy, elijah would win if they faced each other again.

by the point of this confrontation, crowley's become a vagabond, this shell of the showman he used to be, so during their match he tries simply laying down and letting elijah take the pin, but elijah refuses and insists on winning on his own terms (especially if crowley is so confident in his theory). “his own terms” consists of repeatedly beating the shit out of crowley and deliberately not pinning him, and as you can imagine, he eventually pushes crowley's patience too far. that’s the jist, but actually watching it all does it much better justice than me cramming it down.

to the audience, we already know crowley as this awful, spectacular fucking twat, but he's incredibly charismatic and entertaining, you can't help but love to hate him. personally i think he goes pretty underappreciated at the moment, very much loved and endeared but still underappreciated. he has a unique and interesting gimmick that works really well for him, his ring work is great, he can be comedic and serious, and his promos are seriously so good (he started out as an actor initially, shocker).

indy britwres is full of talent since they've rebuilt themselves and i think crowley stands out really well. the indies are the perfect place for the stuff he does and hopefully more people get to see how fucking weird he is as time goes on.

to end with, here's a shortlist of random crowley things i just want people to see (some are already linked above) & some photos:

this wrestling compilation slash music video

a free match from wrestle carnival, max the impaler vs. charles crowley

during his stuff with clementine (another wrestler), he made a short drama-type series on instagram called BDSM (stands for Big Dangerous Scary Mammals); unironically a great showcase of his promo abilities

this clip of crowley rolypoly-ing around the ring during a match yknow, as you do

crowley almost losing to a wristlock by his jacket

and finally, this extremely important photo, crowley had a dog collar match and you need to know about it

// tonyknox99

#charles crowley #britwres #@night

[inglorious-purpose]

RIP Loki, indeed

To jog your memory regarding Thor’s life story, Hemsworth and Waititi have helpfully put together a brief recap of the thunder god’s arc. But they, uh, kinda forgot someone. Valkyrie, Hulk, and Korg are all featured, but there’s nary a mention of you-know-who. Which I guess isn’t surprising, given Hemsworth’s bitterness over having his character outshone by a superior actor, but it still feels awfully petty.

Hiddleston has claimed that he doesn’t know whether he’ll be in Love and Thunder (other than as a tattoo on Thor’s back), so I assume they filmed a small cameo or post-credit scene which may or may not make it into the final cut. At first I was disappointed that Loki isn’t in L&T, but you know what, it’s probably for the best. Waititi hasn’t made any secret about his scorn for Loki -- I mean, some of it seems tongue-in-cheek but even if you start out kinda jokily throwing shade, there’s a good chance the joking vibe eventually turns serious. And if that was the general attitude on the set of Ragnarok, it couldn’t have been pleasant for Tom, even if he tried his best to go along with it.

To be clear, I actually enjoy Ragnarok (fun fact: it was the first movie I saw with Loki in it), and Taika did give Loki a chance to shine during the evacuation of Asgard, and gave the brothers a couple tender moments (BUT NO HUG WTF WE WERE ROBBED) -- but the emotion was rushed and undercut with jokes, the characters’ arcs were screwed up (Thor became a total jerkface tbh), plus Taika started the whole trend toward dumbass Thor and clownshoes Loki, for which I’ll never forgive him.

I thought it was interesting when Tom was talking about what’s next for Loki, and said something like “the audience wants to see him reconcile with his brother” (can’t find the link right now, but it was a recent interview or speech that came out after the series). I would think that much of the audience actually (and unfortunately) wants to see Loki reconcile with Sylvie, so Tom’s choice of words is quite ... revealing. It seems like he wants the brothers to have a true, heartfelt conclusion to their journey instead of the half-assed crap we got in Ragnarok. (I also suspect there has been some friction between the two actors, which Tom hopes to repair.) But will it happen?

Given that Hemsworth said that he only agreed to L&T bcs Taika was directing it, and given that Taika doesn’t seem to be interested in working with Loki/Tom, I don’t think there’s much hope that the Odinsons will team up again. Unless (and I know this is straight-up blasphemy but honestly I would be in favor of it) Thor was recast with an actor who’s better at drama and can hold his own against Hiddleston’s formidable talent. I mean, I liked Hemsworth as Thor, and honestly thought his acting was ok-ish, but he’s clearly more suited for comedy -- or for roles where he just has to run around and shoot at things. Which, you know, everyone needs to find their niche. It’s just too bad that Loki (and Tom) got fucked over in the process.

#loki #thor #ragnarok #taika waititi #marvel #MCU #loki deserves better

[canmom]

L'Aventur de Canmom à Annecy - Mercredi 4: WTF 2023

WTF (read 'what the fuck' in a heavy French accent) seems to be a kind of annual collection of weird online shit. Titmouse is involved in some capacity, although I don't think they're necessarily the ones who picked the films. And while I did recognise one selection (umami had a film) most of it was new to me and there were some crazy good ones...

... but most of all the atmosphere of the late night screening was amazing. I got in at the last minute and somehow ended up in a reserved seat for Titmouse, since I guess they didn't show? Which meant I had one of the best views in the house. The theatre was completely packed and full of excitement.

So then this guy comes out in the skintight purple vest and cape and rainbow stockings. The boss of Titmouse comes on stage and picked up one of the paper planes to invite whoever threw it to come and bite a balloon in half (which would have been a better bit if the person actually did it).

Then came the directors of the films, mostly to tell jokes ("there's too much business and not enough fucking at Annecy" declared one director, instructing us to have sex tonight). After these guys... some Gobelins instructors came out to throw shirts into the crowd, people went absolutely nuts for these shirts. Then: films.

Actually a bunch of these are available online so... here, watch along x3

To open we had this stop motion earworm, Du vélo à St-Malo, du kayak à St-Briac. By the second chorus, the audience was singing along. The images are a bit lolrandom but I can't deny it's infectious in its editing.

Next up came the debut of David by Patrick Ward, about a seriously injured footballer confronting his rival framed through the story of David and Goliath. Lots of little visual jokes that made it flow even if the overall thrust of the story remained a little opaque to me.

Umami's Safe Mode was a natural fit; if you've seen an Umami film you know what to expect. Surreal character designs and a guy with a monotone voice. Looking forward to more of this series.

The Rubbings of Trajectories by Cheng-Hsu Chung from Taiwan took things in a rather Adventure Time direction in its drawing style, full of wild perspective shifts and morphing. I was a little too caught up in the visuals to take a lot from the voiceover lol.

Insomnie by Paul Utkay leaned on Stable Diffusion interpolation for its surreal shifting visuals. This was I think the only time, besides the one after this, I've seen AI in the festival, and right now the main use of AI seems to be like this, a visual effect.

Following this came Two Gracious Uncles Smooched To The Beat (currently password locked so I can't embed it) by Jon Dunleavy, a completely frenetic sendup of the whole AI art 事件. Rather than being made by AI it's mostly deliberately janky cgi, rapidfire jokes, and wrong subtitles as an extra layer, which made for a fun watch. The thesis was maybe something like, "this is all a bit silly". As a programming move, putting this right after the AI film was kind of genius.

A Kind of Testament by Stephen Vuillemin was simply fantastic, absolutely the highlight of this collection. The framing device is that a woman stumbles on a website created by another older woman with the same name as her, consisting of incredibly elaborate animations based on her social media photos. As we watch more, we learn more about this mysterious animator, who died shortly after the protagonist contacted her. Ultimately though this framing device is just a vehicle for some really tight imaginatively grotesque shorts that gradually start to connect up more and more. I hesitate to call it ero-guro because it's not exactly ero, but it definitely put me in mind of e.g. shintaro kago. the framing device works just right, linking the shorts and providing a certain frame for interpretation - the animator is terminally ill, so jokes about foot killing parasites and regrets make sense - without being overbearing. honestly just a really great film, the perfect level of enigmatic. i hope i can show more than the trailer some day.

Internet Gaga by Reinhild Bidner slammed into a much faster pace, a pastiche of Radio Gaga by Queen with the music video consisting mainly of cutout animation and AI deepfake animation of memes. Two minutes was about the right length for this lol. But yeah, haha, the internet, what a mess amirite

Todo está perdido by Carla Pereira Docampo and Juan Francisco Jacinto Prados was a fascinating oddity though. Stop motion, with these wildly distorted models - built in forwards or backwards slants and birdlike eyes. The story concerns a suburban nuclear family where the mother lays eggs, which they mostly eat, but decide to fertilise one one day, resulting in a baby with a wrinkled head hatching. The B plot concerns their other child who gets a rat inside her skin by accident during surgery. As you can imagine it went for the squick reactions. I can't find an online video of this one but here's a previous project by the same directors.

From this point on things got pretty wild. First up we had Uncle Babysitter 2 by Tung Yin Ng aka Tungwood.

as far as toilet humour goes? This was actually great, just relentless gleeful escalation. I got to chat a bit with Tungwood and his friends after the films, and funnily enough he was very shy and would run up to people saying 'souvenir' and give them a card for the film. It was very funny talking to a group of animators, which in my eyes is like the peak of the world's professions, and have them act impressed when i say I'm a game dev.

Anyway, this was a really fun short about a baby's adventure inside a man's stomach as the man desperately tries to pull him out. The breakneck editing really makes the stupid jokes work, it's kinda Imaishi in that way.

Granny X by DD Sheahan relaxed the pace only barely, telling the story of an old lady in a nursing home having a vivid lesbian fantasy that in the waking world leads to her careening around strangling nurses and stuff. It was fun visually, although the humour seemed generally a little meaner.

Monsterfuckers by the Tohu Animation Collective led by Ori Goldberg was something like a multi animator project with loops contributed by different animators around the vague prompt of monsters having sex. So this one's like, straight up porn but weird porn so it gets to be in here lol. The editing to the music was tight and many of the clips were really creative - but no sign of it online as yet so I can't show you.

We were really on a roll at this point. The final part was the music video for Cool Party by Simon Medard for a band called Cocaine Piss, which pushed the jank factor to maximum. It didn't do a lot for me but it kept the energy going. After that we spilled out onto the lawn outside Bonlieu and everyone gathered in small groups. Not really wanting to just walk away, I inserted myself into conversations here and there, said some nice things to the showrunner, met Tungwood... and then at last time to go home, packed on the last bus like sardines.

Honestly, even if it could have been a little weirder to be truly 'what the fuck', this event was a blast. I mean you know how much I like this kind of thing lmao.

As for Thursday... haha god it's 2am. I'll write about it tomorrow... or maybe on Saturday... but the very short version is that I saw Art College 1994 (solid, donghua with a realist style and richard linklater energy), Kensuke's Kingdom (impressively elaborate adaptation of a Michael Morpurgo story, had a bit of an Iron Giant feel visually), White Plastic Sky (a very compelling scifi dystopian drama from Hungary in a rotoscoped style similar to A Scanner Darkly), stood in line for two hours for Mars Express and still didn't get in, watched a bit of Perspectives block 1 (mostly bad, it's the block for serious social issues rather than compelling storytelling) and then tried Graduation Films 3 (sadly could not live up to Graduation Films 2). So a bit of an unfortunate end to the day but that's how it be sometimes...

Tomorrow I've got another packed day so I'm gonna end up really behind on these writeups but stand by lol. Annecy is amazing, I don't want it to end...

#Youtube #Vimeo #l'aventure de canmom à annecy #annecy film festival #annecy #animation

[golikehellmachine]

best of the year, 2022

i have not been as active over here as i intended to be, mostly because between my band, my life, and my job, i just haven’t had a ton of time to sit down and write. i’d like to say i’ll do more of it in 2023, but i know better than to lie to you or me.

however, that does not mean that i haven’t had time to listen to music — quite the opposite.

i bought a *lot* of music this year, and had no real regrets for any of my purchases, but here are some of my favorites from the year 2022. most links will be bandcamp unless there’s a good reason to link elsewhere. these are things i *heard* this year, not necessarily things that were released this year, though most of them were. 

first up, DRUG CHURCH. these dudes get a lot of buzz for sounding like the 90s, which they do, but i don’t think i quite agree with the grunge comparisons they get — to me, they sound a lot more like late 90s hardcore bands like AS FRIENDS RUST, albeit with some of the bigger, more creative guitar sound of 90s alternative bands like, amongst others, SMASHING PUMPKINS. 

i’m never not going to be an ARCHERS OF LOAF superfan, and i was absolutely fucking stoked to hear they had a new record coming out this year. this record is very, very good, and maybe my favorite since ICKY METTLE, which came out roughly 6,000 years ago. a lot of 90s-era indie bands have made returns to the stage in recent years, but these guys are one of the few who i feel like really grew in the intervening years — this song has as much of THE WHO in it as it has chapel hill, which i think is grand. 

BIG JOANIE seem to be blowing up everywhere, and for good reason, they’re fantastic. i’ve written about them a couple of times, so i won’t go too much more into detail here, but if you haven’t yet heard them, check this one out — if you get the time, check out the video, too, which is a sweet and lovely vignette of young friends and lovers. 

ELLEN RIPLEY HYPERSLEEP are a japanese band that i stumbled across on twitter (i think) who, if i had lottery money, i would fly out to the united states to do a west coast tour with. they’re a really, really great mix of synth-y 80s and early 90s new wave, but with a lot of very good shoegaze sensibilities. they’re a little hard to find, but they’ve got a youtube channel and they’re on spotify, so go check them out, everything they’ve done is great and i’m really hoping they start to gain ground, either in japan or worldwide.

years ago, when i lived in denver, i remember LEON BRIDGES playing at the ogden theater right after he broke out and thinking that he maybe wasn’t quite ready for that level of audience just yet — the show got moved to the ogden from a much smaller venue at the last minute. fast forward to 2022, and he’s working on really innovative and incredible R&B and soul, this time, with the unflappable khuangbin. 

LOS BITCHOS weren’t new in 2022, but this record was, and it’s a delightful spring and summer record to play with the windows open. they get a lot of totally justified comparisons to THE GO-GOs, but i think people sort of snooze on the way they’ve also got a sound that’s similar to some of LUSH’s best work. also, their percussionist might be the best drummer i’ve heard all year, really creative and technically precise. 

i really like jazz, but i am not, like, a jazz-knower — i just hear things, like them, and sometimes buy them. this JOHN PATTON reissue was a good example; i came across it on bandcamp, loved it, and bought it even before the first song ended. 

i have been absolutely thrilled by the resurgance of of electro, new wave and post-punk in recent years, and LEATHERS absolutely hit all of the sweet spots here. LEATHERS are a side project of another great canadian band, ACTORS, but whereas ACTORS are a little louder, more rock, and a touch grimier, LEATHERS are all neon and cool. 

speaking of cool, neon and electro, 2022 saw the return of one of my personal favorites, LADYTRON. i am stoked as fuck to catch them on one of their very few US dates next year, because everything i’ve heard from this new record so far sounds like a return to their classic LIGHT & MAGIC sound, which is somewhere in my top 50 favorite records of all time. 

i’ve included them on a couple lists before, but SOFT KILL’s CANARY YELLOW may get my album of the year. it’s a bummer that this may end up being the last record they put out, but if you’ve got to go, you can do a lot worse than going out on at the top of your game.

#bestof #softkill #ladytron #leathers #johnpatton #losbitchos #ellenripleyhypersleep #khurangbin #leonbridges #bigjoanie #archersofloaf #drugchurch #Bandcamp #Youtube