#listen i know men have body image issues too but that is not what i am talking about rn

[kiss-me-muchoo]

𝐃𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚 || 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐎’𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Do you want a baby? part one || Suddenly, we have a baby part two || part three

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ Miguel and you finally have a baby. Your little family attends Pavitr’s party. Things are not okay though . During Pavitr’s party, Miguel and you finally explode and everything is a chaos that night in Mumbattan.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ this is long, Miguel has men postpartum depression, grumpy! x sunshine!, age gap (legal), implied short reader, mentions of pregnancy and breastfeeding. NO PROOFREAD!

𝐀/𝐍_ <3 Indian culture and religions, inspired by M.I.A’s/ KSHMR songs, listen to Legendary Lovers from my playlist :)

♪ ♫ my miguel playlist ✰ Index (+ fics here)

One night, a young marriage lies on the wife's bed after a warm shower and a light dinner. Her round belly is getting more uncomfortable, but they happily wait for their little bundle of joy to arrive.

“Miguel?” you ask softly. He hums and looks down at you.

“Did you ever imagine you would be a father again?” it took him by surprise and pulled him out of reality. The image of Gabriella instantly appears.

However, his hand on your bump brings him back. He smiles, taking your growing belly with both hands, rubbing it up and down.

“Before you, not really. But the moment I married you, I kinda suspected it,” you giggle. Miguel smiles again before kissing your head, but you leave him thinking about the issue.

Somehow he wants to fill that void of his lost daughter. And while he knew he already had everything, trauma unconsciously haunted him.

“Do you want more kids?” He asks, and he hopes you say yes.

“I don’t know. As long we are okay, and the babies come healthy, I could have ten… Or just this little one,” you admit pressing your hand on his.

The man liked your answer, but the feeling of nervousness and a mix of panic and insecurity slowly started to grow bigger.

…

Miguel O’Hara was looking at his wife feeding his baby daughter; Magda O’Hara was about to turn five months old, and although she ate like a champion, she was still a tiny human.

You were sitting in the cafeteria, a lilac blanket covering your chest and the baby. Your eyes looked tired, your suit had a visible baby burp on the right shoulder, and your hair was very curly. However, there was a big smile on your face. A soft blush that made you sparkle and send the most motherly smile to your daughter.

Miguel smiles too, but he’s still watching, hiding behind a wall.

“Are you avoiding your wife and baby?” Lyla pops out of nowhere. Her heart-shaped sunglasses judge Miguel. He sighs, frowning at the AI.

“No.”

“I think you are,” she pushes.

“I think I’m not.”

“You are…” Miguel huffs in annoyance.

“NO. I being NOT,” Lyla shrugs, leaning to glimpse you and Magda. You are still feeding the baby.

“You know? One out of ten men get PPND after their baby is born” he had an idea of what the annoying AI was trying to imply; he wanted to ignore her for some seconds, but soon the worry assaulted him.

“What?”

“Paternal Postnatal Depression,” Miguel sighed. But then remembered how much he loved Magdalena, her round cheeks and dark hair like his, her tiny hands wrapped around his thumb every night. Then you, the kisses you spread over his face every time you greet him, his intense desire for you even when you claimed your body was slowly returning to what it was.

He wasn’t depressed; he was fine.

“Nonsense, Lyla. I’m fine” his tone was firm, confident, and intimidating. So the AI would not push it further.

“As you say, boss,” and with that, she disappeared.

When Miguel returned to see you and Magda, the cafeteria was full of spiders with lunch breaks, but you and the baby were gone.

…

Your boots with heels sound across the reports room of the HQ. Jess turns at the sound and smiles after seeing you. With a little wave, you pace toward her.

“Look at you, girly pop. If I didn’t know, I would say you have never been pregnant,” she explains with a big smile.

“Almost five months, Jess. I can’t believe it…” you admit, thinking about sweet baby Magda and her adorable yawns daily.

“I know, girl. My baby boy is almost a year now. Time flies…” Both of you nod. You start helping her with the reports.

Now you had been taking more missions and were happy to be back at work.

As you slide the pile of papers, Miguel stomps inside the room.

“What are you doing here?” He asks after spotting you beside Jess.

“Filling reports?” you don’t look at him, your eyes focused on the papers.

“You should be with Magda” His tone annoys you, finally pulling your eyes away from the papers and focusing on your husband.

“I spent the whole morning with her. She’s on daycare with Mayday and Peter” He rolled his eyes. And without another word, he sprint out of the room, leaving you very confused.

Jess kept staring at the door, where Miguel left but then turned to look at you.

“How has Miguel been dealing with parenthood?” you sigh.

“He’s amazing. He makes sure everything is fine with Magda and me. He also makes time to spend together, and…well, now I notice he’s stressed” Jess nodded, placing a new pile of paper on some shelves and opening a virtual screen to check the anomalies that had been reported.

“Maybe he’s…depressed?” her implication makes you break the focus on the report.

Having a baby was something big; you were okay, you felt amazing, just tired, but you felt healthy. However, even when you thought you had psyched Miguel that he was going to be a father again (with numerous methods. Like brief late-night talking, books, blowjobs, and fantastic sex). Maybe it wasn’t enough.

“You think he has it, right?”

“Maybe. Even if I tried to warn him, maybe…Yes.”

“I’ve known him since college, y/n. He’s a good man who loves you and that gorgeous baby girl so much. But he’s Miguel, and his damaged side will never leave.” It would never stop to amaze you how much Miguel changed after the events of Gabriella and her universe collapsing. You had to meet him just after that happened, so you would never know the man he was before that.

“However, you are his new chapter and a new chance to be better again. Just try to talk to him…” Her hand on your shoulder makes you feel supported. You smile, nodding at her.

“Thanks, Jess. I highly appreciate it.”

“Of course, girl. Now let’s finish these damn papers to have a break” a little less worried about Miguel, both Jess, and you had a good moment laughing and finishing the reports.

…

“Dear empress?” You roll your eyes, turning to your right to spot Lyla.

“Why do you call me like that?” You ask, laughing, chewing at your burger. Once again, a meal with your husband’s mask imprinted on the bun was a good idea.

“You are my boss’s wife, and Magda is the legitimate heir to the HQ” Again, you laugh. Lyla was funny and sweet; you really liked her and the dynamic she had with Miguel.

“To be an AI on earth-928, you are using medieval terms, Lyla,” she giggles.

“No, but Peter called. Magda woke up and demanded your company” You can’t even find yourself mad or annoyed. Your baby needed you after three hours separated.

Thankfully, you had taken a shower after the mission you had. Magda couldn’t be held with toxic particles and lizard’s spit.

“I’m on my way,” Lyla pretends to high-five you before opening the door of the balcony area where you were eating.

…

Soft cries flood the big daycare room. Lyla and you exchange looks before she speaks.

“Yikes, that’s my cue, bye bye” With that, she disappears.

When you open the door, you see Peter Pavitr, Gwen, and Miles showing baby Magda some toys to stop her from crying. Mayday is beside her, sitting, looking confused.

The closer you look, the better you can see Magda in a short sleeves onesie and her matted hair hidden under a little flower diadem.

“Oh, look, Magda. Mama is here,” Peter tells your kid. She’s very tiny, yet active to be four months old. Your eyes light up after taking her in your arms.

“Hi Bebé, I missed you so much,” Magda coos and plays with her little fists.

“Thank you so much for entertaining her, guys,” you tell your friends. They say it’s nothing. But you feel loved and welcomed, how well they treated your baby, and how much effort they made to include her even at her young age.

“It’s nothing. But… now you owe me in particular,” Pavitr says with a smile. You wonder what he wants. But then, he pulls out a pink envelope with orange and golden details and hands it to you.

“Happy Diwali season…” Immediately, you remember the party he mentioned months ago when you were still pregnant.

“Pavitr! This is so sweet, thank you” he offered a hug, which you accepted.

Few people dared to spread love like anything, and Pav was one of them.

“I want to see your little family there. And all of your too,” the guy threats smiley. Instant happiness succumbs you because you can’t wait to be at that party.

It was rare when you had the opportunity to hang out with every one of your HQ friends. Jess, Peter, and Mayday are the most recurrent since Miguel was very close to them as they were to you.

“I’ll bring my best clothes, man,” Peter calls before Pavitr leaves through a portal.

“I’m so excited!” You squeal along, Gwen.

Peter rolls his eyes, taking care of Mayday.

“We need some traditional dresses,” you comment.

“Oh, and we have to get Mayday and Magda matching dresses” The thought makes you die out of cuteness. Even Peter seems happy, claiming he will take many pictures if MJ can’t make it.

It has been a long time since you had a big party to attend.

The parties with your family were small gatherings where Miguel would likely get drunk with your father. Your mother and grandma would help you with Magda, and you had to be active.

So yeah, you were excited to celebrate Diwali with your friends and family.

…

That night, you are cooking some tray of peaches with cream muffins and jericallas, Miguel’s favorite desserts. Magda is sleeping in the pink carrier you bought for her and you (cause Miguel refused to wear every single day that carrier he got a grey one).

Dinner was quiet, which was weird in the past, but slowly grew normal.

You had wanted to ask Miguel about his possible PPND, but he always brushed it off before you could start.

Learning to look at the oven, there are five minutes left. You go to Magda’s room to put her in the crib.

You take some minutes to see her. She’s a carbon copy of Miguel. The sun-kissed skin, the dark hair, and you suspected she would have his spider abilities rather than yours. Oh, and her round puffy cheeks that you constantly filled with kisses.

You loved being a mother.

You preferred your own house on your earth; it was smaller, cozier, and homey.

And Miguel’s place was… an expansive apartment with minimalist colors and designs. It was still home… but not the same.

Still, you loved your family. No matter where you were.

So you clean the kitchen as the muffins cool off.

Miguel spent the whole evening locked in his lab. Claiming that he was finishing a new device for the HQ. Which you believed at the beginning, but soon you felt like he didn’t want to spend time with you, Magda, leaving the baby and yourself to play and read alone.

So you remembered what Jess said. Maybe Miguel was depressed or having a mix of emotions after Magda arrived.

Slowly, you open the door of the lab. He’s sitting, back facing you. He looks massive, being slightly hunched to work.

“Corazón…” you call him; he doesn’t flinch.

Miguel sees through the corner of his eye your silhouette, holding something.

A little plate, a jericalla, and a muffin slide in front of his face.

The smell of peaches and cream cheese invaded him. The small was enough to set him in a better mood.

“I made your favorites…” he knows he’s not the best husband material. But he was constantly irritated, and the last he wanted was to take it out on you or Magda. He would kill himself if something like that happened.

“Oh, muñeca. You didn’t have to “

“Yes, I had to… Miguel?… Are you okay?” You ask shyly, honestly scared of his reaction.

“What do you mean?”

“Lately… you’ve been weird. Is the work too much? I can take more; the master's program is basically finished. I have time, and with Magda-“ you want to find an answer before he even answers.

“Magda should be your priority.”

“She is. But I’m concerned about you too.”

“I’m fine.” You sigh. It wouldn’t be easy, you knew that.

“Just… you must know you can tell me anything, amor. I’m your wife…” his tense shoulders relax when you hug him from behind.

“I know that, mami.” A little smile peaks on your face, so you lean down to kiss your husband’s cheek.

He giggles before capturing your hands to give you a proper kiss.

“We love you so much, Miguel,” you add one last time.

“I love you and Magda too” Another little peck, and you're out of his lab.

Only that you tried to ignore the pain in your throat as tears threatened to spill as you lay in bed, waiting for him to come.

…

The sound of a phone taking pictures hits Miguel. When he enters the main bedroom of your house, he sees you in a traditional Indian gown in hot pink and orange colors, along with gold details.

He can’t help but think that his wife is perfect and that you gave him the best present ever; a daughter.

“Look at you, Magda!. You look gorgeous, my love,” she coos, stretching in the bed while chewing her feet. It makes you laugh, and Miguel feels relaxed.

You are taking pictures of Magda, and when Miguel gets closer, he sees his daughter in a colorful linen dress.

You turn to face your husband. Surprised to see him smiling.

“Look, Miguel. She’s totally ready for this party,” he finds himself sighing.

“Do we really need to go?” If you had to be honest, things with Miguel weren’t their best.

He continued to act desperate, less soft, and constantly irritated.

Last night, it didn’t work out.

He was fucking you on your back, but he was being rough. And not the type of wild you liked. It was rough where. You felt like a rag doll like it wasn’t lovemaking.

“Mig-Miguel. Can… Can we stop?” He had been so close, seconds away from painting your walls with cum. But you asked him to stop. That never happened.

“…Why?” He asked, confused and slightly angered.

“You’re hurting me…” it tears him. But the irritating demon creeped out for worse.

“Right, sorry. It won’t happen again,” without another word, he slipped out of you, locking you inside the bathroom and leaving you heavily confused.

Before last night, things had been like a rollercoaster, with ups and downs. They only didn’t make sense to you because you couldn’t understand your husband. He was taking care of pushing you away, and you were starting to feel hurt.

“It’ll be fun; it could help us to have a little escapade” he knows you want things to be better. But it seemed like the more you tried, the more he got frustrated. He was starting to believe Lyla about having PPND. And it scares him so much, already afraid of hurting you and Magda. So he had been a little secluded to avoid that.

In his mind, it was a good idea. But sure, it was not the best option.

“Fine. Do you want me to wear something specific?” His question made you pout.

“Just this…” you hand him a linen shirt in a cream tone. He sighed but surprised you by taking Magda in his arms and leaning to snuggle with you. Her tiny lips latched onto your neck, searching for milk, and Miguel peppered your cheeks with kisses. You started laughing at the tickles.

“Miguel! Stop!” You cry, laughing.

“Tell Mama she looks beautiful, Magda,” feeling her matted hair, your warms lips.

Of course, there were still some good moments. Like having a moment together, the three of you. Where there was only love in the air.

Miguel knew he had to change. He couldn’t lose his family.

Not again…

…

Whenever there was an anomaly on Pavitr’s earth, you would gladly stay longer than necessary. The colorful and loud city was always a sight.

But seeing the party he had spent months discussing was still a surprise.

There was a big rooftop with stone railings and details. Many plants partially covered the floor and every surface available.

And the colorful decorations in fuchsia and purple tones were breathtaking.

The Festival of Lights was the most exciting part for you. It reminded you of the movie of Tangled and how much you loved that movie.

The whole meaning of Diwali was beautiful, and having the opportunity to celebrate it with the locals, with your family, was even more special.

“This is beautiful…” you mumble, a big smile growing as you carry Magda. She seems attracted to the music and people talking around.

“Miguel! y/n!” Both of you turn around to see Peter and Mayday.

“AWW!” You let out once your daughter is reunited with Mayday. Both have the same linen dress, only that Mayday has her hair in a messy bun, and Magda… well, she was losing hair.

“They look adorable, Peter” Miguel says nothing, but he wants to smile so badly.

“I know; MJ took a whole album of her.”

“I can bet…” you add smiley. Peter looks at Miguel, and the tall and broad man looks annoyed, which makes him sigh.

“You look good, man,” Peter tries to soothe the strange air.

“Thanks.” It’s flat and cold. You are starting to feel anxious about Miguel and his consent mood swings.

“Man, you have to be happy. You are here with your gorgeous baby and wife. Smile…” You are surprised and thankful for your friend, not expecting him to speak.

To your dismay, Pavitr appears to say hi, but it’s not the best moment.

“Not now, Peter. You don’t know anything; stay away from this. It’s my family,” you frown, not liking Miguel’s tone. You and Pavitr exchanged looks before you turned to face your angry husband.

“Miguel, What’s wrong with you? Peter says it for good” he looks down at you, shocked to hear that you are not on his side.

“You’re letting him discuss our problems now?” To make the moment more stressful, Jess comes too; she looks confused at the scene but soon understands what is happening.

“What he said is obvious to everyone, Miguel. You’ve been off; we want you to be yourself again.”

“I am okay!” some people stare when your husband raises his voice.

“Miguel…” Jess warns him, hoping to avoid a bigger problem.

You came to a limit. All the weeks of dealing with an unstable husband, taking care of Magda on your own, working your part as a head of the spider society.

Indeed, you didn’t care that your friends were hearing.

“No, you’re not. You have been avoiding us!. We are your family, Miguel. If you weren’t sure of having a wife and kid again, you should have said it sooner.”

Ohh… everyone grows quiet. Peter holds your shoulder with his free hand, and Pavitr can’t believe what is happening.

“Don’t…” it’s all he says, but you cut him off.

“Maybe you’ve found someone else. Cause you’re rejecting Magda and clearly me. You don’t come home early; it certainly looks as if you were fucking someone else” Your baby is getting fussy, and your fears grow the more you talk. Now only waiting for his response.

“Yeah? Do you really think that low of me? Maybe I should go and make it real!” his words tear you a little. Making it impossible to not start tearing up.

Miguel realized what he had said when he heard Magda crying.

And he looked at you again; you were also crying.

He’s so embarrassed.

“Please take her for some minutes…” you say, handing Magda to Jess. The woman nods with a sad face.

And everyone looks at how you leave the party.

“I’ll go find her; please let me…” Pavitr tells Miguel, but he only stands there looking like an asshole.

“You’re right…” Miguel tells Peter, with his back facing him.

“I just want you and her to be happy.…” your husband nods, and Peter takes it as an apology and understanding of him.

“Can we talk?” Jess asks. Miguel knows he’s in trouble.

Both adults walk through the people to the most secluded area. Which seems to be a little garden.

“Do you want this baby?” Jess asks him, referring to the sleepy Magda in her arms.

“Or was it just for the lust of getting y/n pregnant?” It’s straight to the point, and it terrifies Miguel.

“Jess, you know I’ve always wanted a family,” he answers calmly.

“Then why the drama?. Everything seemed fine the whole pregnancy.”

“Lyla was right. I think I have PPND…” Jess sighed in relief because at least Miguel had an idea of his problem.

“That’s what I thought.” She replied.

“And now with this…I don’t wanna lose my girls” To hear Miguel in a vulnerable state was unusual. His eyes went straight to Magda. He walked closer to stroke her cheek.

He felt like a monster for what he did.

“You won’t lose them, Miguel. Everyone knows this baby, and y/n are beyond in love with you” Magdalena was his gift. And Miguel would always thank you for that.

The least he could do was be a supportive father and good husband.

“Go and talk with y/n. Then we can enjoy this peaceful party. It is almost time for the Festival of Lights” Miguel remembers how excited you were to see the lights. He worries that he won’t find you in time. Jess places a hand on his shoulder.

“Go. I’ll take care of Magda with Peter” The exit is crowded, so he hurries.

The streets are packed, people are celebrating, and some fireworks start.

Miguel ventures into the busy streets in hopes of finding you.

…

When Pavitr finds you, you are sitting on the long stairs that were the entrance of a temple. Your knees are pressed to your chest, your face hiding, and he can hear you sobbing.

“Oh… y/n,” he says, sitting beside you and hugging you. You are startled, but soon you are calmed to see your friend.

“I’m sorry for ruining the vibe of your party, Pav” He shakes his head, smiling.

“Nah, first of all, it’s my parent’s party. Second of all, nobody noticed what happened.”

“This was supposed to be a beautiful night. Not the start of the end of my marriage.”

“It’s not the end of your marriage, y/n. I can read people very well. Miguel and you hold an excellent dharma” You lift your head, looking at your friend. He offers you a kind smile that makes you feel comfortable.

“Call me ignorant, but what is specifically dharma?”

“It means a lot of things in my religion. But in this case, it means you and your husband have good energy. The connection is strong; there’s a balance that holds the love. And all of that is what Magda receives. This is just a bad season…” you analyze his words, trying to accept them.

“Then why do I feel like it’s not my fault? I feel that he needs to apologize…”

“Oh, because he does need to apologize. What he said was wrong. Even if he’s the one having a bad emotional moment, he caused this” It’s incredible how easy it was for Pavitr to understand when he was still a late teenager, only a couple of years younger than you, but wiser.

“Thank you, Pavitr,” he nods, hugging you again.

“Now come back, please. Gwen and Miles have been looking for you.”

“I’ll go. I need some minutes.”

He smiles one last time before leaving you alone again.

You sigh, and more tears spill, but quietly.

For a second, you don’t want to think about anything; you stare a the street in front of you.

The people laugh, scream, and look happy. A lot of them have the little lights in their hands already.

You try to savor the moment, so you sigh and breathe with your eyes closed, letting more tears run down your cheeks.

You could either fight for you and the love of your life and daughter… or move on, even if it was early to say it.

You don’t come to an answer because when you open your eyes, Miguel is on the stairs, going straight to you.

You’re startled, unconsciously standing up. You know you can’t enter the temple but you want to be away from Miguel.

He’s fast enough to stop you, grabbing your forearm.

“No. Not right now, Miguel,” you say firmly, with a broken voice.

“Wait. Please, bonita…” he hates to see you like that.

Finding you alone, crying on those stairs when everyone was happy and celebrating, was painful to him. Even more when he was the cause of it.

“I don’t want this night to be over with us fighting, please.”

You don’t say anything. You stare at him as he stays some steps under; you have him straight face to face.

“I didn’t mean anything I said before. I would never find someone else. Never, y/n” You remember his words.

Maybe I should go and make it real.

“That’s how it starts…” you say coldly. He shakes his head, grabbing both of your cheeks.

“No. No, mi amor… I only have eyes for you, and that’s how it’ll remain for the rest of my life,” he means it. Miguel fell in love with you one summer, months after meeting you. And from the day he accepted he was in love, the feeling never changed; it only increased.

“I must have… men postpartum depression” Immediately, you’re relieved. Because you had your suspicions, knowing that was the reason for the little downgrade of marriage soothed your worries about him cheating.

“Why have you always avoided it?.” You ask him. He only sighs, his hands leaving your cheeks to land on your shoulders.

“I don’t know. I guess I just… didn’t want to believe it?” you know he’s telling the truth. Miguel never lied; if he ever did, he would never babble. But he was looking defeated, showing vulnerability.

“It was stupid. I should have told you… agh, ¿soy un pendejo, no?” You nod, looking at him in the eye. Savoring his embarrassment, but not in a toxic way. You appreciated that he was recognizing his errors.

“We’ve talked about… Gabriella and what happened. But, now that Magda is finally here… I got scared again” It’s inevitable to not grow fond of him. He was guilty but also a victim of his own mind. And it was your role to help him.

“We’re not going anywhere, Miguel. I Can assure you that this family will last forever. Because I won’t let anything happen,” sometimes Miguel forgot that he married a brave young woman. Who showed him what he thought was lost in the world. And gave him a daughter to heal his past and grow better.

“I’d be lost without you and Magdalena, corazón. I’m so sorry for making you think otherwise.”

“And I’m sorry for not pressuring you to get help,” he smiles.

“No, y/n. You’ve done nothing wrong but being the most lovely and perfect mother and wife ever,” you blush. And Miguel will never stop loving his power to make you feel loved and blushed.

“Will you forgive me?”

“Are you going to the doctor?” He nods, so you sigh.

“And promise that this will NEVER ever happen again, Miguel O’Hara. Swear it…” he chuckles, but he knows it’s serious.

“I swear, this will never happen again. I swear it for my love for my wife and daughter”.

You smile, and that’s all Miguel needs to move his hands one last time. To your waist, to pull you closer.

As he hugs you, he enjoys the smell of your hair. That watermelon shampoo you loved to use. He’s at home.

“How can I begin with my apology?” He asks.

“Just hold me. Never… never, Miguel. Never let me go” his eyes get watery, and immediately his hands find their way to hold you, brush your hips, and lay his head on top of yours.

“I’m never letting go of the woman that saved my life” Tears flow across your face, but a smile grows too. No matter Miguel’s walls' height, you had all the power to crash them, and for the best.

“I love you, bonita,” you nod, sobbing and giggling simultaneously. Squeezed in his arms, you lift your head and smash his lips.

It’s warm, slow, and sweet. Both of you have flashbacks of the first kiss you shared. And it fueled the love, making the kiss even more adorable.

“I love you too. So, so much…” Between every so, you kiss his cheeks. It tingles him, so he laughs.

“Stop it, Nena” For some seconds, you stare at each other in silence, feeling the love slowly returning to reign.

You are thankful for having a husband like him. Someone who had problems like everyone else but would always stand up for his family and try to make everything better.

“Hear me out. I’ll never be able to give you back, Gabriella. But Magda and I will love and cherish you for her. This has been a big change for us, never forget that, Miguel” Magda was his light, just like you were the dawn he enjoyed every day. But the dread of his past wasn’t ready to leave yet. Nothing would compare to the time he had with Gabriella, but nothing would change the fact that she was gone.

“I’ll get over that someday. But now I have my girls, and it’s perfect. Simply perfect…” there was something about you that Miguel wouldn’t trade for anything. You gave him happiness, comfort, and a daughter.

The canon never warned him that you would appear, yet, there you were, willing to listen and help him. Even after all…

“I like the sound of that…. I can schedule an appointment with Doctor Spider-Man. He knows everything…”

“Yeah, that would be fine. I also think we should have a second honeymoon” Your eyes widen.

“What? Really?”

The first honeymoon was a fever dream. Almost a month in Oaxaca, in a boutique historic hotel, and fantastic food, outside activities, and… tons of sex. Thankfully you were cautious with protection, cause otherwise, Magda would have been a honeymoon baby.

“Yeah. Or we could have our first family trip. Magda is young enough to still make it pass as a second honeymoon” his playful tone makes you aware of what he meant, and it burns your cheeks.

“I’m also sorry about what happened last time we were…”

“I know,” you quickly answer.

“I would never waste the opportunity again. If I could go back in time, I would have apologized better and rewarded you with a big orgasm,” you laugh, punching his rock-hard chest.

“Miguel, shut up!. We’re at the entrance of a temple” he looks with curiosity and realizes it is true.

“Shit. Sorry… okay. Can we go back to the party?” You nod, and you gladly take it when he offers his hand.

…

When you make it back. The Festival of Lights is starting. Jess hurries and looks between you and him.

“Everything alright?” You nod.

“Thank you so much, Jess,” she says. It’s nothing, handing you a smiley Magda, who happily coos at you and Miguel.

The man smiles at her, kisses her hair, and takes her little hand.

“Oh, I got some perfect spots,” she adds. The balcony's edge is where a lake looks like a mirror with lights.

Peter, Hobie, Gwen, and Miles gather with you and your family.

But Pavitr leans closer.

“I told you it was all about the dharma you two hold,” the young man says, pointing at you and Michel.

Your husband frowns, confused.

“Dharma?”

“I’ll explain it later, man,” Pavitr answers smiley, leaving.

Miguel takes Magda in his arms, and he feels better; the light weight of his daughter and your head resting on his bicep was everything he needed as everyone watched the lights go up and illuminate the sky.

It was time to let go of his past at all. His present was right in his arms, and you were right.

As he would fight to keep his family, Miguel knew you would too, and that was a lot to say.

___________________________________

Sends ideas / requests 4 Miguel. I’m planning something based on hummingbird (I love that song so much) <3.

I’m seeing Taylor Swift tomorrow SEND HELP OMG :0

Taglist: @obi-mom-kenobi @g0oshtt @berlinswifey @alison645 @futuristicpandakid @sleepyoriana @amb3rrz @amyg1509 @t00-pi @crowleysthings @boobabietch @l3lazee @brtodd @gigachadcowboy @saturnknows @chiyoyooo @miggyyyyohara @puresweetenerx @saturnnnnl @natthernandez @reagan707 @voidashh @daisydark @kissezfornamjoon @etherealton @wonderlandangelsposts @niyanispunk @ang3l-dust1 @electro-supremacy @bestie1223 @dangerousness15 @iluvjisoo @atlaincorrect @naponiac @edgycatx @fluffy-koalala

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara angst #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse #atsv x reader #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel spiderman

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 6

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 2.6k

Part 5 ←→ Part 7

Masterlist

Rafe had done a great job at avoiding Matt and Levi since dating you. He was afraid if they started asking questions he wouldn’t be convincing enough. Thing was he couldn't avoid them forever, which is proven true when the client he had met with abruptly left lunch early leaving the three men left to discuss more than just work. So Rafe is sat in the same position he was the day he met you, some beach club during lunch hours, bourbon in his hand, and two assholes sat across from him.

"I should probably get back to the office" Rafe says after one more sip of his bourbon, he had no plans to finish it. He hadn't really needed to numb feelings since meeting you.

"Woah, why such a rush? We have at least twenty more minutes" Matt says with a smirk and Rafe sighs. If he wanted to spend time with these two he'd still be an active member at the country club. He hated when Barry called him country club, he was trying to leave that life behind.

"Meeting is over, I have work to do" Rafe says and a low chuckle escapes Levi's mouth and reverberates into the rim of his whiskey glass.

"He just doesn't want us asking questions about his little girlfriend. Or should a say big girlfriend" Rafe's hand instantly tightens around his glass at Levi's words.

"That's right, Rafe has a new lady" Matt smirks, leaning back in his chair and Rafe does everything he can to not roll his eyes.

"You guys have no right to talk about her" Rafe says with a cold and sharp voice. The boys know they've gotten under his skin, struck a nerve with the hot tempered boy in front of them.

"Listen all we're saying is it's pretty suspicous you start dating big girl right after we say something about how you never date unattractive girls" Levi says leaning forward, his arms crossing over the table.

“Well that’s not the case” Rafe says leaning back, standing his ground. He had grown far too fond of you to let some bitter assholes say anything or assume anything. Even if they’re right.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say our Rafe here is using the poor girl to prove a point” the sentence makes Rafe stomach churn. Before he had gotten to know you that was the case and he hated how bad it sounded out loud.

“Well you never have known any better Matt and what do I have to prove to you two idiots?” and Rafe had a point. It never was about proving himself to these jack offs. It was to prove it to himself and anyone who ever saw the worst side of him and never thought he could come back from that. His sisters, his Step Mom, all those Pogues he harassed for so long. He had killed someone and it was a burden he had to live with every single day. The least he could do is start seeing people for more than what’s on the outside.

"Nothing, just a little weird you started dating a fatty" Rafe's hand slammed the bottom of his glass so hard on the table both boys jumped at the noise, wild eyes looking at Rafe who seemed far to calm for what he just did.

"Let's not forget who controls your employment status, on top of that you have no right to talk about my girlfriend and her size. Actually anyone’s size for that matter. Considering that it's coming from big nose and pimples over here" and both boys sit there shocked for a moment as Rafe stands, rebuttons his suit jacket, and heads to his truck where he can go back to work and not be bothered by those idiots. He should've fired one of them for the hell of it.

Yet he couldn't shake what they were both saying about you at lunch and they were right about one thing, he did have twenty minutes left. Actually he had all the time in the world left because he was the CEO, he'd pull a late night if it meant seeing you and getting whatever those idiots said out of his head. So his direction changed and he found himself pulling into the empty lot of the bar. He was actually surprised the doors were unlocked when he pushed through them and even luckier he was met with the sight of your back. You leaned over a table, wiping it down for the upcoming shift. You wore your usual outfit, jeans and a T-shirt, this time with the logo of your bar across the back in neon. The door slams shut behind him just as he begins admiring the curve of your ass.

"We don't open for another twenty minutes" you call out without turning and he grins, arms crossing over his chest.

"Damn, because I was really hoping for a drink now" he watches as you perk up to the sound of his voice and he's met with a wide smile when you turn around and face him.

'What're you doing here?" you grin and he chuckles, walking forward and spotting Mila and Randy who watch you both from the bar. Mostly because he wants to and the audience you have, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

"Had some time left on my lunch break, I wanted to see you" he says and that's when you spot the pain in his eyes and you need no explanation as you hug him close.

"How bout a drink on the house, mainly because we haven't put the new drawer in yet" you tell him and he laughs loudly before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"I'd like that" he says and you nod before locking your hand in his own and leading him over to the bar where Mila and Randy jump to look like they were working and not watching the two of you interact.

"Hey, can you get Rafe something to cheer him up?" you ask when you hit the bar and Mila chuckles as Randy nods.

"Rafe having a bad day?” Mila teases lightly, now more comfortable with him since he had been coming around the house. They had reached a new level of friendship when she dug into Rafe about the hickey he had given you. You hadn't realized how carried away he had gotten either and your neck looked like a crime scene opposed to the small mark you had before. She had bitched about how much makeup it would take for her to cover you up when he had told her not too, that he wanted everyone to know you were his. You had felt that sentence in places you shouldn't of and Mila finally accepted Rafe was in this for real.

"Just some idiot coworkers, my revenge was leaving them with the lunch bill today" Rafe returns as Randy sets the brightest drink in front of him. Rafe's eyes widen at the vibrant red color of the liquid and you can't help but giggle.

"What, you said something to cheer him up. This cheers me up" Randy defends and Rafe tilts his head before lifting the drink up.

"Here's to red dye I guess" he says before taking a sip. You all watched curiously as he gulps the the liquid down.

"Not bad Randy, a little too sweet for my liking but good" Rafe says and he grins victoriously as Rafe takes another sip from the drink.

"Don't listen to him, he likes things sweet" you tease and the minute the words leave your mouth you blush a deep red because you know exactly what it sounded like. Mila snorts out a laugh as Randy wears a mortified look.

"I didn't need to know that" he says and you know your flushed cheeks burn visibly for the whole crowd to see.

"I didn't mean it like that" you mutter out and Rafe feels his heart soar over how adorable you look in this moment.

"Don't worry baby, I know exactly what you meant" Rafe says in a proud way, arm wrapping around the back of your chair, and pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. He pretends it's real, that you're really his girl and can kiss you as much as he likes. After trying to finally turn his life around for the better and allowing someone like you so close he realized how lonely he truly was, it creeping in like a bad cold.

“God, I need to go on a date” Mila groans out and Randy chuckles beside her.

“What happened with that guy from last night? What was his name? Paul? I thought you were trying to get his number?” Randy asks, continuing to clean the glasses for the upcoming shift.

“Pope, and turns out he was with that gorgeous girl with him the whole time” you don’t miss the way Rafe freezes against you.

“Not really a surprise, that whole group was some of the most good looking people I’ve ever seen. No surprise they were all dating one another, they’ve probably swapped before” Randy says as your eyes look up to Rafe who suddenly looks like he doesn’t want to be here anymore.

“They were the ones who found the road to El Dorado, hence why it would’ve been amazing to get his number” you recognize the look on Rafe’s face being one of panic, so you furrow your eyebrows together and put your hand on his thigh.

“Rafe, what’s wrong?” you ask and as if he’s brought back to reality he stands and begins to shake his head.

“I have to go, good luck tonight guys” and he’s rushing out of the bar before you can even process what’s happening. That doesn’t stop you from chasing after him though, pushing open the doors to find him in the empty parking lot, gripping his hair, and breathing heavily.

"Rafe, whats going on?" you call out after him but he starts to pace, not turning to face you. The worry you had for him when he showed up now heightens as you see him experience something similiar to a panic attack. So you do what you know best and rush over to him, arms stopping his movement and locking him in your space. You'd never willing press yourself so closely to him, allowing him to feel the curves of your large stomach pressing against him, making him aware of your size, but you know with the panic in his eyes he won't register what was happening. "Hey, talk to me"

"I have to get to work" he say's trying to pull away but you squeeze your arms tighter around him so he's not allowed to escape. This brings his attention to you, eyes finally locking on your own.

"Listen to me Rafe, we may be fake dating but that doesn't mean in the last few weeks I haven't gotten to know you. That being said I know you're upset about something and there is no possible way I can allow myself to let you get in that truck and drive off knowing the mental state you are currently in" he freezes at your words, not quite expecting such a speech to come from you but he also feels his heart rate slow to a small thrum. You had calmed him down. Nobody has ever been able to calm him down. "Talk to me, I'm a stranger, remember?"

"You're not a stranger" he says with the shake of his head, his own arms coming to wrap around you. He takes a beat, allow himself to collect his thoughts and consider sharing this with you. "Those people they were talking about, those are my sisters friends. Considering she doesn't go anywhere without them it meant my sister had been there. I haven't seen my sister in over a year. It just freaked me out"

"The sister you dont talk to?" you ask and he confirms with the nod of his head. "She's the one that found the treasure?”

"It was almost me" Rafe whispers and you feel your heart break for him. This showed that the issues with his sister was much more than resentment, it was the high of the chase. Willing to do and sacrfifice anything for something as beautiful as ancient treasure.

"It wasn't just resentment" you whisper out and Rafe squeezes his eyes shut, clearly trying to push away memories he doesn't want to recall. It's when your arms loosen around him his own heart breaks.

"I've done things I regret. Things that I wasn't even in control of. My whole life all my Dad wanted was that damn treasure and I wanted to be the one to give it to him. To make him proud and instead he sacrificed himself for Sarah's safety and she got the treasure instead of me. She got everything and all I got was the stupid company he didn't even want me to have" then to your surprise a tear slips free from his eye and he steps away from you to hide it.

"Hey, stop" you grip his wrist, tugging him back. His heart flutters as your free hand reaches up and brushes the stray tear away. "Come here"

And just like that he falls into your embrace. Head landing on your shoulder and hugging you tightly. He hadn't had someone comfort him like this ever. At least since his Mom has passed, you're embrace warm and a reminder of all those time's he came to her with scraped knees and misty eyes. The thought alone makes him cry silently against you because maybe for the first time he was realizing how broken his family had become. He was technically orphaned and he didn't even have his sisters to rely on anymore.

It was crazy how fast they went from sharing bowls of cereal at the kitchen island, teasing each other like siblings should, to picking sides of a hunting war, faking deaths, losing lives, and hurting one another for real. A year of hatred and blind rage had changed the entire course of his life and now he was left all alone with the one thing he never truly wanted. At least he had you, even if it wasn't real. Then again how sad is it that the one person he can rely on is one he had to bargain to spend time with him. His entire life was a sham.

"Take the day" you say and he pulls back, sniffling and looking at you with teary eyes.

"What?" he asks curiously and you give him a light smile, hands gripping his own.

"Take the rest of the day, Mila and Randy can handle it here. Let's just go back to your apartment, watch a few movies and order some pizza" you tell him and his own smile cracked across his face. He took a moment to consider it before nodding and brushing his damp cheeks away.

"Okay, yeah. I do have to stop into the office quick. Then we can go" and you nod, willing to agree as long as he was okay.

"If we stop at the office I get to drive" you tell him, holding you hand out, and he furrows his eyebrows before you give him a stern look which makes him comply, dropping the keys into your hand.

"Goodluck reaching the pedals" he mutters and you roll your eyes before walking towards the bar to tell Mila and Randy you were taking to day with Rafe.

"I bet I drive it better than you"

a/n: sorry it’s been a while my loves, the holidays always keep me super busy. hope you enjoyed!

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols @jaijustreads @sleepjam @dilvcv @aaronhotchswife @sunshine1218 @lavenderhazeq @theultimatefrenchfangirl

Comment if you want to be added to the tag list :))

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron x plus size reader #rafe cameron x plus size #rafe x reader #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe smut #rafe fic #rafe cameron smut #outerbanks rafe #rafe x you #drew starkey #drew starkey x reader #drew starkey x y/n #drew starkey x you #drew starkey x female reader #drew starkey x oc #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey fic #drew starkey fluff #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction

[missmastectomy]

Thinking about how sometimes the woes of detrans women are not as unique as we think.

I sometimes see detrans women express insecurity about their vulvas being too much of an “outie” or their clits being “too big.” Recently listened to a detrans woman talk about how she just knows her boyfriend isn’t attracted to her because her genitalia isn’t normal, her words. And idk what her situation is but I have slept with multiple women who were on HRT at one point and their genitalia is just… normal. And I see this and can’t help but think of all the women who were never on HRT, who hate their vulvas because shitty men call them roast beef, or say that women with big clitorises basically have a penis, when that is just not true.

I never understood this specific insecurity and it’s been helping me with the things I am insecure about. Like, my voice is androgynous and I obsess over it. But I recently watched a videos of women with deep voices and quite a few them just sound similar to me. I still struggle but my paradigm changed. I’m literally just a woman with a deep, somewhat unusual voice. Sometimes it gets read male, but nobody irl refers to me as anything but female nowadays. I don’t need to agonize over it just because a few assholes (who have always been men btw) hassle me about it. Miley Cyrus was fuckin demolished on the internet because of her voice, but even though it’s an unusual voice she is still so obviously female.

The mastectomy scars are harder, mostly because to me they represent a physical violation. But also, mastectomies aren’t exactly rare. Not having breasts affects me but I am not defined by them, nor any part of my body.

I know some women who are experiencing noticeable male pattern baldness, or who have distinctly male range voices, etc. so I’m not saying this works for everyone, and tbh if transition has really affected you and it’s in your ability to reverse some changes, you gotta do what you gotta do. I know how painful it is to not be recognized as your birth sex anymore. On the other hand, detrans women who are androgynous tend to fixate on every little thing that makes us “not pass,” but ime these little things aren’t being noticed by the average person.

We fall into the same trap we were in as trans people and also emulate the self image issues women have been dealing with forever. If anything these insecurities reflect that you could be struggling like other women, but it’s hard to see that when the origin of the struggle itself is so different.

EDIT: Also, butches have people tripping over pronouns all the time. If you’re a detrans woman with short hair (like me) or you don’t dress femininely, you may also be getting this reaction because people just don’t know how to be normal around GNC women

#detrans #gender critical #detransition #misogny #radical feminists do touch #transition #radical feminist safe #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #ftmtf

[emojellyace08]

Lookism Men x Reader (When their partner is insecure PART 1)

Genre: angst🥀 and fluff☁️ (comfort post) Warnings: mentions of insecurities/body image, poverty, social anxiety, panic attacks, overall a bit triggering reader is gender neutral (and is in an established relationship with the character of choice :)

Daniel Park (Park Hyung Seok)

If you're insecure about your body image (feeling too fat or too thin or overall feeling not looking "attractive"), he'll be able to empathize with you a lot since he has troubles with his appearance too.

Daniel will be super supportive of you. He knows how it feels to be thrown to the side all the time and be alone with the mix of loneliness also drives him crazy.

He's really good with comforting you. I think it depends on how you want it to be more okay. If you want space and time for yourself, he won't hesitate to give you some alone time. Though he'll make sure that you're eating and sleeping well. But if you want to be cuddled he has no problem with it either. He just wants to see you happy and he'll do anything to make you feel better.

Daniel would worry a lot if you start having a panic attack. He'll get you a glass of water and he'll rub your back and will tell you to take deep breaths so you'll calm down. Daniel will also ask why you're feeling down today and the moment you break down he'll be hugging you and listen to you when you started opening up to him.

He'll also shower you with lots of genuine compliments. If you think that your body looks ugly, he'll hug you from behind and whisper to your ear how beautiful/handsome you are (with your consent of course). "Y/N please don't hate on yourself, you're the most pretty girl/boy I've met. You're also very kind, talented, and helpful. Cheer up." He'll also help you have a healthy lifestyle if you asked him to (like the way Vasco trained him). Exercising and helping you out on your diet will help you boost your confidence like he did so trust him when it comes to things like this (he won't be too rushed and hard on you though unlike Gun).

And if you're feeling unsocial type and drained from socializing because of fearing rejection and you have trust issues (y'know Asa Mitaka vibes), he would also encourage you to meet other people as long as you're okay with it. He also wants to see you form other platonic relationships other than him as your boyfriend and build more beautiful connections with other people. He has been through this before and he overcame it, so will you because he believes in you.

And if you're feeling insecure about your social status he can highly relate to you too. But he'll make you remember that he's always there for you despite him being financially broke too. But if its the Workers timeline, he'll be willing to lend you some money for your own expenses since Steve Hong also spoils him a lot (just don't use for money he'll get turned off by it).

Daniel is overall one of the most empathetic Lookism characters, so as your boyfriend he's making sure that your insecurities and problems will be heard out and he's willing to listen to your side and give you the best advices he can give as possible.

Zack Lee (Lee Jin Sung)

Zack will be the panicked and worried boyfriend type.

If you're feeling worthless and a loser, he'll also shower you lots and lots and lots of compliments and reassurance that you're not what you think you are. He also knows how it feels. He'll also hug you and kiss your head when you're breaking down as he will try to stop the tears threatening to fall down on his face. He hates it seeing you like this. "Y/N, you're not a loser. Even if you think you are, you'll always be my number 1". Trust me he's your number one fan. Everything you do is so fascinating to him (as long as it's not scandalous and too embarrassing).

Like I know, his compliments may sound cheesy and pitiful but trust me, he means it from the bottom of his heart. He's honest most of the times and no way he's lying to you especially when you're the type to have trust issues.

If you're feeling insecure about your body, Zack will also reassure you that you're beautiful. He'll help you out when you have trouble with your eating lifestyle (I tend to overeat a lot). If you're the type to binge eat when you're stressed, he'll take away all the junk food from the cabinet and fridge. This may cause an argument between the two of you but trust me, he's just helping you out so hear him out with his point (it's not like he hates your chubby body but he doesn't want to be super over weight since it can cause lots of health problems).

And if you're scared of eating, he'll encourage you to because starving yourself won't help and it can make your condition worst. Zack will encourage you to eat healthy foods since he's worried about you getting underweight since it can be really unhealthy too. He may not experience having trouble with his eating lifestyle, but he's willing to help you out as possible since he wants to see you having a long and happy life :).

If you started having a panic attack Zack will panic too. He doesn't know what to do when you started having an episode but he'll try his best to comfort you. He'll grab your favorite snack and he'll help you ease your breathing. He'll also listen to your thoughts that has been bothering you for a while. It will actually surprise you when he started giving you advices but trust me, he's good with it (he's also highly empathetic).

Zack will also wonder why you're insecure about you not having any money. Like he's not judging you he also gets frustrated when he can't buy the things he want to buy. But he'll make you feel emotionally satisfied with his love so won't feel insecure about yourself anymore. He'll also treat you a lot on dates to make you feel special, but don't use him for money though it will backfire at you when he finds out that you're just using him for cash.

And if you're scared of socializing, he'll stay by your side all the time. He hates you feeling vulnerable and insecure about yourself. So he'll shower you lots of compliments about how pretty and nice you are. He'll also tell anyone to be kind and gentle with you. And he'll beat the shit out of everyone whoever tries to mess with you. (He's one of the best boyfriends to have in the Lookism Verse).

Vasco (Lee Eun Tae)

Another one who will be super concerned about your mental and physical being all the time (in a good way of course).

Vasco has always believed that everybody is born equally beautiful/handsome. And if you're feeling left out because of your looks he will not hesitate to comfort you since he's also highly empathetic. He'll also talk about a plan with Jace and other Burn Knuckles members on how to make you happy like surprising you with random parties just to make you feel better (he's so innocent lmao).

When it comes to comfort, Vasco would hug and compliment you all the time even when you're not feeling down. Though he'll be more clingy when you started showing signs of exhaustion (mentally). It may surprise you but he'll hug you and touch you with gentleness and care like you're a fragile glass that needs to be properly taken care of. He'll also whisper words of encouragement while kissing your head and ruffling your hair. "Y/N why are you upset? Do you wanna cuddle?"

If you're insecure about your body, he'll help you out find the reason why to. Because in his eyes you're perfect. But if you feel like you're fat or too slim he'll help you out to change your lifestyle. You and Vasco will have morning exercises (though he'll make sure that he won't push you too much) and he'll make sure that you're eating well all the time until you're confident about yourself.

He's also a pretty good listener despite him being a bit clueless sometimes. He would listen to your rambles about what's making you upset and he would unexpectedly cry out when you started opening up since he's also highly empathetic. He may not be the best advice giver on the bunch but he'll try his best to help you out.

Vasco will also panic and he'll get scared when you have a panic attack. He would call Jace for help even when you're against it since he wants to help you out as possible. They will help you ease your breathing and they will listen to your problems (and they won't spill the tea because they respect you. A promise is a promise.)

He'll also spoil you a lot with lots of choco-banana milk when you're feeling down because you get teased about being broke. He would listen to your rambles about not having any money and he'll even lend you some which can make you feel guilty since he made the money for himself and his hard work. But trust me Vasco will give it to you out of pure affection (just don't abuse it too much though he'll feel used when you asked ridiculous high amount of money).

Vasco will also be curious about the way you think when you don't want to socialize. He personally finds it enjoyable because he's able to meet different kinds of people. Though he will respect your wishes if you don't want to. But he's still willing to listen to you when you tell the reasons why you don't want to make friends if it's because of you being scared about what others think of you. Though he'll make sure you'll attend his birthday parties!

Jay Hong (Hong Jae Yol)

I don't know how many times I'll say this but he's also highly empathetic despite him not saying a word. He's also a pretty good listener (Istg they're the most emotionally well in the Lookism Verse despite them having their own issues).

Jay would spoil the hell out of you like buying your favorite things and comfort stuff so just you would feel better. He'll also cuddle with you and he'll place his head on your shoulder while hugging you from behind when you're emotionally not feeling well.

His comfort will make your mind at ease. If you're feeling self conscious about your body you can see him frowning when you don't want to look yourself on the mirror. He views you as beautiful/handsome. Like why the hell are you insecure about?

But if it's because you're feeling too fat/too skinny, he'll also help you out on your diet. He'll help you on your exercise, balance out your food intake and he'll make sure you'll sleep well. He wants to see your progress as a physically and mentally healthy individual and he won't hesitate to help you out especially when you need it.

Jay will be in a state of shock when you started having an anxiety attack. You're both in panic but Jay will try his best to ease you and help you get back on your normal state. He'll also get a glass of water if you need it and he'll also help you get back your normal breathing. He'll also ask for his assistant's help.

He's willing to listen to your problems because he knows that bottling them deep inside can make your mental state worst. So please don't be shy to open up to him because he'll shower you with lots of genuine affection. He may not be the best in verbal expression, but he'll make up with physical affection like kissing your cheek and stroking your hair while you try to sleep. He'll also leave short letter of encouragement so you'll be back in your goofball and happy energy again :).

He'll also spoil you a lot with fancy gifts like expensive clothing and dinner dates. Though he'll feel used and pissed off if you're just using him for money. He knows you're troubling with your finance he wants to be there for you a lot. But he can't help but to be upset when you're just cash grabbing him.

And if you're troubling with your social life, don't worry Jay can relate to. He's willing to listen to your rambles with your reasons why you can't seem to have the confidence to talk to anybody he's willing to be your friend (and as the relationship progresses he might even catch feelings for you and he'll be happy if you don't mind being a couple). Jay would always be available to be on your side and he'll be listening to you a lot.

#lookism x reader #lookism x y/n #lookism x you #daniel park x reader #jay hong x reader #lookism fic #zack lee x reader #vasco x reader #angst with a happy ending #angst to fluff #angst fic #comfort post

[bbimharuuu]

Hi author, since relations with Dorne have always been tense what if they arrange a marriage between Aemond and prince Qoren Martell's youngest daughter, at first Aemond doesn't want it but then when he meets her he's totally obssesed also maybe some smut I feel like this man would have a breeding kink lol

Prince Qoren Martell was someone who didn't want to participate in either side of the war, even though the Blacks and Greens wanted his support. He refused to partake war with dragons, remembering the First Dornish war.

But let's say an arranged marriage was placed before the war started between his youngest daughter with Aemond. The marriage was placed to ease the tension and Aemond of course is the one who's going to marry the daughter. We all know how he's loyal to his duties and family, whilst he disliked the thought of marriage outside of his blood (because it'll weaken his Targaryen blood) he never complained.

After he lost his eye, I feel Aemond deep down would be hesitant at how his future wife would react. Sure he may look rough and scary on the outside, but we all know Aemond has mommy issues and maybe a bad self image due to his missing eye.

But when they actually met, Aemond would be floored at how beautiful and kind the daughter would be. She didn't care about his scar, tried to talk with him even when she seemed anxious and hesitant to talk to him. Aemond at first would act nonchalant, trying to hide his interest on the daughter. It would be a very awkward first meeting I would say.

But after many visits, Aemond would slowly warm up to the idea of marrying her; maybe even to the point of obsession. It would only fuel his obsession if she acted kindly to him, actively trying to blend herself into his life. They are going to be married, for her it's best if she at least try to converse with him to have a good relationship instead of being ignored.

But she'll notice how Aemond would start to lean closer to her when talking, placing his hand on her back when walking, brushing her hair or holding her hands when they're alone. It would make her heart flutter. Too bad she didn't notice how Aemond would glare at anyone for looking at her too long nor whispering threats to men who are interested in her.

Prince Qoren would be satisfied with how respectful Aemond's acting towards his youngest daughter. Yet he couldn't help but feel slightly unnerved when Aemond is always there to accompany his daughter, almost like he's lurking in the shadows.

The wedding was perfect to say the least (Aemond made sure of that), and she was happy. But Aemond has been feeling restless, wanting to spend some alone time with her. She would definitely notice how touchy he was, especially after their kiss that lasted a little longer than it should.

Aemond would devour her at their wedding night. He would be gentle, slowly kissing from her lips to her body as he undressed her from her dress. He would smile as he listened to her every whimper and moans as he slowly licks her pussy, almost teasingly. When she's almost coming, Aemond would stop and ignore her whines as he undressed; stroking his cock as he hungrily gaze at her naked body.

He would gently thrust into her, holding her tightly as he waited for her to be more comfortable. He would start at a slow pace, kissing her neck as she moans. But he'll slowly shifts to a more brutal pace, snapping his hips roughly to hear her shocked moans. He'll smirk when she came, legs shaking as she pleads for him to stop.

But we all know he won't, still keeping his brutal pace and thrust; making her even more overstimulated as she cried loudly that almost everyone could hear her. When he reached his orgasm, he would lay down next to her, catching his breath as he tightly hugs her; bringing her face for a final kiss before sleeping.

Oh, how happy he would be to have you at his side.

#hotd #house of the dragon #yandere house of the dragon #yandere hotd #yandere #aemond targaryen #you ask you shall receive

[deus-ex-mona]

The Sisters' Secret Seaside Trip: Chapter 1

sena, no, you're already perfect just the way you are

next part: (chapter 2)

(tw for mentions of dieting and mild body image issues)

Following her graduation from High School, Narumi Sena began to take on more modelling job offers. With her good relationships between herself and both her younger sister, Mona, and her boyfriend, Hamanaka Midori, she was thriving, in her work life and her personal life alike.

One day, in the middle of Summer, a new job offer came in for Sena. And the details of that offer were—

Sena: Thanks for your hard work!

Cameraman: Good work out there, Sena~! You did great in today’s shoot.

Sena: Thank you very much. I look forward to working with you again.

Sena: (I had fun wearing cute clothes today, too.)

Sena: (I don’t have any other jobs left today, so… I’ll be able to reach home earlier than usual and give Midori a call…)

Manager: Sena! Do you have a moment?

Sena: Ah, hi, Manager!

Manager: This fashion magazine has chosen you to be the model for their swimsuit special. Do you want to accept their offer?

Sena: That’s… a really famous magazine!

Sena: I’m so happy they picked me! Please allow me to do it!

Manager: Okay, I’ll get back to them. Here, I bought this magazine for reference, so feel free to take it back with you.

Manager: The models featured in it are all beauties, so you have to give it your all too, okay?

Sena: (...Wow, no kidding.)

Sena: (Their models are all slim and stylish… from the cover… to the pictures on the pages.)

Sena: (If I’m going to model for this magazine, I’ve got to slim down too…!)

Sena: Hello! Midori?

Midori: “Yo Sena. You sure are in an awfully great mood today, yeah?”

Sena: Not at all. I’m super exhausted today! It was really tiring, you know?!

Sena: (But… the sound of Midori’s voice recharges me in a flash.)

Sena: Ah, right, listen to this! I’ve got great news to share!

Midori: “Ooh, what’s up?”

Sena: A magazine that I’ve always loved asked me to be their swimsuit model.

Midori: “Swi-swimsuit?”

Sena: Yup! And the shoot will be held on-site by the sea too!

Sena: And even though just that is reason enough to look forward to the shoot, the staff I’ll be working with are all amazing too…

Midori: “...”

Sena: …Huh? Midori?

Midori: “I’m worried.”

Sena: Eh?

Midori: “I’m worried cuz you’ll be in a swimsuit! You’re already really c-cute just the way you are, so…”

Sena: …!

Sena: (...He just called me cute.)

Midori: “There’ll be dudes on site too, right? I know work is work, but…”

Sena: Hehe, I’ll be fine. I won’t be working with any male models.

Sena: And there won’t be any men amongst the staff too. I heard that it’s their company’s policy to only work with women…

Sena: Plus, the shoot will be done by a female photographer who’s all the rage these days! Isn’t it amazing?!

Midori: “...Yeah, guess you’re right.”

Midori: “It’s proof that all your efforts have paid off, Sena. So of course I gotta root for you.”

Midori: “My bad, please forget I said that.”

Sena: No need. Thank you.

Sena: …It made me a little happy to hear you say that.

Midori: “...!”

Midori: “Ah—... Um…”

Sena: Uhh… um…

Sena: B-but, but! That’s precisely why I have to do my very best!

Sena: There are lots of stylish models all around, so I’ve got to slim down more for the shoot!

Midori: “Ya think so? You’re already so slim, so do you really need to trim down even more?”

Midori: “Models sure have it rough, huh…”

Sena: Yup! I’ll be on a diet as of tomorrow! I’ll give it my all!

Midori: “Kay, I’ll be rooting for you. But don’t overdo it, yeah?”

#tw added just in case bc. y e a h. sena bby no :( #sena sells seashells by the seashore #<- idek with the tl tag may change it later idk #honeyworks premium live #anyways happy oshi day~~~~~~~~~~

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hello! I have liked your latest posts a lot and would like to get a TR matchup if you can, please.

About me:

I'm a cis woman, INTP, demisexual. I am the kind of person that tends to appear as kind of a wall flower at first. In social settings I try to keep to myself and don't really interact unless I'm directly addressed. With strangers I might seem chatty and outgoing, but in reality I just wouldn't know what to do if things got quiet. I have an almost pathological impulse to be helpful and useful, and go the extra mile to not be annoying or depend on others. I always try to not voice an opinion unless I have checked the facts or am certain it's a completelysubjective matter and I'm not in the wrong. I'm the kind of person who gets scolded for saying sorry too much and would say "sorry, I won't do it again". I'm generally anxious in unfamiliar situations because I can't read a room to save my life and don't really get subtext 🤷🏻‍♀️

When I'm comfortable with someone I relax and become my real self instead of that carefully built façade. I get more quiet, self assured and aware of my needs. I get comfortable with silence and I'm less afraid to seem ignorant or confused. I am a kinda stereotypical nerd of great book smarts, awful street smarts.

I have a history of mental health issues and though I am well and more in touch with my emotions than ever, I still get my periods of seasonal depression. I have been accused of being a perfectionist and inflexible, both with others and myself. I am generally pessimistic and have always had a vwry low self esteem, as well as body image issues. Though it hasn't always been the case, now I am overweight. I also suffered bullying for a very long time and it has made me kind of distrusting but also wanting a connection, therefore trusting too quickly and letting people take advantage of me. Often. For this reason (and, as stated above, because I can't really tell genuine interest from general niceness or mockery, people are really confusing and frustrating) I have never had a romantic partner.

My interests are generally geeky or nerdy. I spend most of my free time playing videogames, painting or drawing, and with various arts and crafts, mainly cosplay (I prefer the making part, sewing but especially prop building. I own lots of power tools and higly toxic adhesives and resins lol)

I also like going to a cafe to read, paint or study almost every other day. My favourite genres are sci fi and horror.

My interests are varied buy I tend to hyperfixate on whichever is my current obsession, and delve deep into anything it has to offer, making my own theories which I love to share with anyone who will listen.

The love language I prefere recieving is quality time, and I tend to do gift giving or acts or service.

I usually dress in all black, jeans, boots and a graphic tee almpst every day. I have died hair and an "extreme" haircut (like Draken, but my sides are not totally shaved, just really short). I also wear little to no makeup but several earrings in the shape of claws, chains, several rings, etc. My style has been described as "badass", "scary" or "weird", depending on who you ask.

What I like:

I tend to get overjoyed that anyone would like me so I wil give a chance to almost anyone. I'm not very picky but I gravitate towards men who have a more "clean" look (yk, the kind of people that make you think "this person has to smell good"). Since I like trying out many new things I also prefer someone who will lead me out of my comfort zone but not push me out of it, as well as do the same for me and try things I love.

I am quite independent and low maintenance so I do better with people who don't need to be in constant touch with me, or have no problem with not being in touch for a day even if there is no apparent reason.

Sorry for the loooong ask, I hope you will find the time and inspiration to find me a match!

TYSM for your time 🥰

Hi there. Your ask isn’t too long at all. I think you sound pretty awesome, so love yourself. Whatever people say about you, is just them being feeling like they have to bring others down to feel great. Don’t listen to them. I think I found a great matchup for you. I hope you like your perfect match!

You Got…

Shinichiro Sano!!!

He’d like how low maintenance you are. Sometimes he gets busy with the shop or gang or siblings and having you be okay puts his mind at ease.

Would like your style, especially the little to no makeup. He seems like the guy who hates “fake girl”.

Would tell you every day how much he loves you and thinks you are perfect in every way.

Both of you have almost no experience so you two can learn and grow together!

He’s up for anything!

He’d clean up for you!

I believe that he’d ask to use some of your drawings to use as decals on his bikes.

Would listen to you talk for hours about anything you like!

Would do the talking and let you be you.

Motorcycle ride dates at night and then taking you to watch the sunset and maybe sketch it too.

#first division girl #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers matchup #tokyo revengers matchups #tokyo rev matchup #tr matchups #tr matchup #character matchup

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Cucumber Day 5 Watching Con's Filmography

(I also listened to a short story he'd been in, scroll down a bit on my page and you'll find it. For everyone who watched this and needs a refresher only on Con, someone finally posted a compilation on youtube. If you haven't seen the series, you'll probably be lost. But I'm sure its a fun out of context watch)

Summary wrote after binging the entire series in one day.

Please, Please, Please go online and check every warning for this show. Not only for the graphic hate crime but see everything they warn about. Protect yourself. This review will discuss sexual topics, nudity, and substance abuse, and age gaps.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the show. I think it was fun, not the best tv show, and has some mixed messages, but a fun watch.

I grew up in a household/town where sex wasn't discussed. Especially queer shit. This show is very in-your-face about it and I admire the shit out of it. The friendships felt lived in. The experience of being a young queer 'hunted' by older queers was explored enough to not make Henry a complete hypocrite, sadly. But the focus was always more on Henry, even in the end, Henry still got off on the image of a 20 something during sex.

Fully noting, I did skip scenes. Some things were just a bit much for me, so I took the liberty to save peace and move on. Yet, the show does seem to balance heavy moments with joy and comedy. Hell, during a fucking funeral, some guys need to go check their dicks for hair. And you know what, I feel that if Lance were there, he wouldn't even be suprised.

I loved Freddy. Holy shit, at first, I was worried about how he'd be treated, but by the end, I was rooting for him. Obviously, the guy is just so used to being hunted for his body. This topic was brushed on with the teacher, and not really felt by the plot or the characters around him. I'm happy he felt like he could leave and just grow up as a person. I'm so happy they let the audience see a time jump where everyone turns up okay, and happy.

I'm not a queer man, but I know this shit can resonate. I've seen queer men online discuss these same points. Predatory age gaps, the pressure to be hot, aging, commitment, and communication issues in relationships...This isn't the best show for all that to be taken seriously but I'll leave that discussion to that community.

So Con's character, Cliff, was right about Henry in episode 1, and I fucking love when writers do this shit. "You always did that. Never had affairs, just obsessions." Cause in the context, yes, Henry never cheated. But he never has deep relationships; he has brief obsessions until things get too serious and he needs to move on. Hell, In episode 8, that's the conclusion Henry comes to himself. "Maybe one day I'll come to terms to it...being gay". Cause he wants intimacy but fears men and getting close to people. It's that closeness he struggles with.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The things that bugged me about the series

The entire bit about the boys playing chicken for internet attention. Again, I know this is a thing. But now a days we legitimately have children doing this stuff unknowingly for people online. Or parents unknowingly showing their children on tik tok for millions of people. I know people who were groomed, and avoided it like crazy growing up as a kid online. I cringed every time this plot point was mentioned, feeling like a kid was a second away from getting hurt. It just felt a bit much to touch on for me in this type of show. Again, they tried to have their cake and eat it too by showing Harry get a slap on the wrist, but it just didn't feel like it justified the plot line being there in the first place. Seriously, what did it add to the story besides showing Henry that maybe he should go back home? He could have done so many other things. The only funny bit is when Cliff commented how fucking weird straight people are sometimes.

Cliff says in ep 1 he had a history of going after older men when he was young, and the age gap is boggeling. Again, this could mean he only had a crush on him. But if we're going to bring up how wierd it was, then why is this and the teacher sub plot where minors brought up the only time its mentioned. Like yeah, the teacher-student situation was fucked up. How about the 30 and 40-year-olds going after people in their early 20s. "I'm horrified to discover I have standards." Fun line Cliff, yeah. But they are literally minors. Age gaps and taking advantage of younger queers is a real issue in the queer community. There should 100% be a place to talk about it. But when every 'likable' character does it without issue, then it's still a problem. Hell, this is why Freddy's plot felt so out of left field in ep 8 with Cliff and him fucking before running off. I don't know why he did it, knowing that Cliff wanted him for his body? Or maybe he just wanted comfort after that argument and knew he'd get it by having sex? I genuinely want to know other interpretations. If Freddy felt like this, it would have been more satisfying for Henry to learn his lesson and not use 20-year-old Freddy as wank material for the next 6/7 years. Also, Freddy running away from Cliff with his pants down was just funny.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, wash most of that out of your head!

The fun part that we have all been waiting for-

TALKING ABOUT CLIFF COSTELLO

(Yes, Cliff is kind of a douche early on. Enjoying eyeing Freddy and praising Henry for leaving his boyfriend for a 'young boy toy'. But, as the series goes, it dies down. Cliff, pre-episode 6 was a fun jackass. Post-ep 6 is one of the best characters in the show and the best friend you could ask for.)

I have seen most gifs online for this character. The soft outfits, smoking, suits, smiling. And fucking YET. The three scenes to me that make me love this character are-

"And obviously, I could take a statement. Have a briefcase with me, files and a pen. Because solicitors get searched entering a prison just like everyone else, but I'd still have a pen. Because a pen is all I'd need, really. I think it would take me a second to lean across and insert the pen through his throat. Right here. At the base. Straight through to the spine. (I could do that.) He'd bleed out in seconds. Dead. So... that's what I'll do. With your permission." I need Izzy to do this speech. Please god. In all your infinite wisdom. In this moment, I 100% felt that this lawyer would murder the murderer of his friend in sheer rage with a fucking pen.

Cliff pulling up(no crutches *curtsies with a smile*) to save Henry's ass from saying something stupid to the cops after their place gets ransacked. Stepping in and ensuring Freddy doesn't assault someone in front of cops.

"I look forward to the tribunal because the law is magnificent in this regard. It's not up to us to prove homophobia, it's up to you to prove homophobia does not exist. Best of luck. Thank you." AHHHHHHHH Smarmy, confident, smiling Con, I love it. Maybe the hottest thing Cliff does in this series, the outfit, the glaring before hand, the confidence, and AHHH.

His stand-out moments are when he's being a loyal, caring motherfucker. Trust me, after days of seeing a sad, depressed, miserable Con, seeing him thirsting after men was fun. Seeing him make dick jokes and act like an 'Elder Gay' that protected his own did heal my soul. But there was just a fucking genuine happiness he brought to the role.

I love that, even though he's a character Henry can rely on, Henry would never stay at his flat. (Obviously, cause then the plot wouldn't happen, but I like to think they know they'd both bring out the worst in each other).

Henry uses him for his knowledge of the law when doing cagey shit. It's great. Like getting his job back or doing the whole weird shit mentioned above for extra money. Seeing Cliff doing his best to stay semi-professional and not visibly judge the shit out of Henry for essentially being a soft core pimp is so fucking funny. Also, his 'that's our song' speech, where he goes on about how people steal underground culture, was fun.

The funeral made me respect Cliff, as he knew how to handle the situation. Keeping the situation safe enough in public so that Henry could have his own time to break down.

When Cliff didn't push, let Henry grieve on his own time, it was beautiful. Many of us would have immediately pushed that boundary. Trying to let ourselves feel better by stopping someone else from having destructive emotions. But Cliff knows better. Hell, when Henry is crying we see Cliff tearing up. Showing that Cliff knows to just step back tells us so much about how these two men care for each other.

Now a tiny praise corner about writing an Elder Gay lawyer character-

The sheer joy in Cliff knowing he could use the 'law' to protect queer people. Both for Lance and for getting Henry his job back. If Cliff is as old as Con, he'd have been a lawyer starting in the 1990's. He would have in practice during queer legalization post-thatcher in the UK. There's a good reason he seemed to be the happiest when they got home after getting his job back. He would have been taught Section 28 as a queer man.

'The fight for sexual equality however, was far from over. Section 28 of the Local Government Act 1988, introduced by the Conservative Government under Margaret Thatcher, banned local authorities from ‘promoting homosexuality’ or ‘pretended family relationships’, and prohibited councils from funding educational materials and projects perceived to 'promote homosexuality'. The legislation prevented the discussion of LGBT issues and stopped pupils getting the support they needed. Section 28 was repealed in 2003, and Prime Minister David Cameron apologised for the legislation in 2009.'

He went from learning about all that shit as a young lawyer(who fucking survived the AIDS crisis), plus worse, to using ANTI DISCRIMINATION LAW for LGBTQ people! (kinda) So yeah. There's a very good fucking reason why that scene made me pause and stim for the fucking life of me. He was the happiest one when they came home, belting and smiling! So much has changed over his life and AHHH-

(This just hurts knowing this defence is all still legal where I live. And rights are being stripped every day... But hope still exists...yatta yatta.)

The friendship between Cliff and Henry feel so lived in. Burrowed and nestled. Clearly, Cliff has his own sad law show going on in the background and Henry is where he can let his (glorious) hair down.

I think it's funny as shit that when Henry panics and tries to find someone in mind to keep him in the moment sometimes he accidentally imagines Cliff. In a 'I've heard way to much about my friends sex lives so I think I know what it looks like' kind of way.

I also think it's funny that in the two times we see him in time jump to the future (At the table toasting Freddy and in Bed) Cliff is still not entirely gray after 6-7 years (obviously, they didn't think/want to age him up or do makeup just for a gag). However, Icon behavior.

His outfits? I would wear most of them. He is gender and life envy. Again, I think Cliff could have been a character to show how happy some people are without relationships. We get this vibe from him with the whole 'you're not tied down' speech, and I wish that was a concept explored more on TV.

He's the least depressed lawyer character I have seen on TV. If I could be a Cliff Costello type, I would go into law.

I think a good mix of the best parts of Cliff Costello and all of Val Pearson is who I want to be as an 'elder'(again, I turn 21 in January). Confident, loyal, willing to stick up for others, funny as shit. Maybe has a more stable love life than them, and hopefully not any substance addictions, but god. They just have so much joy when you know these characters had to have lived through such shitty times for queer people.

At first, I did this just to explore Con's work. But I think this has all helped me feel some hope for the future. What people need is support and love and a place to exist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overall ratings

Cinematography: 7/10. Fun edits. Fun motifs. Loved the opening, and the sound effects to suggest certain things to the audience was fun.

Story: 6/10. Would be higher but some shit just got stuck in my craw. Again, the show just got better and better as it went and by the end I just felt satisfied. Would be an 8 ish if not for my issues mentioned above.

Characters besides Con: 7/10. Everyone plays really fun parts. Everyone is shitty in their own unique way, and for the most part, they get what they deserve. Even if they haven't really learned their lesson yet (Henry, I swear to god you are on a wire). Satisfying arcs for everyone besides Henry, but that's the point. I'm happy the Collective wheedled out into a more realistic ending where these people could go on and live happy lives and not coddle the man.

Con: 8/10. He is so much fun, and he is having so much fun. I wish he was in it longer, but in every scene, he is in, he eats it up. He goes from serious lawyer to best friend in a flash and it just makes me so happy. Cliff is up there with my favorite performances, some of his actions just kill the vibe a bit for me. Again. Any series where Con smiles is a win. Also, I love that he bodied a character who uses movement aids, and it just made me more excited to see what he'd do with Izzy for S2.

OVERALL: 6-7/10.

Not an easy recommend but could be a fun rewatch when I start losing somd hope about our community, while trying to see the real issues that exist to this day...or see more people online criticize queer people for wanting to have sex.

I would love to know your opinions about Cliff, thoughts about my thoughts, and more below! Have a Lovely day/night, everyone!

Next on the docket: Kisses in the Dark. An 8 ish hour audiobook on Spotify! Seems to be a supernatural horror Staring Con O'Neill and Rhiannon Clements(hopefully not a romance, since, with the person I googled, the age gap is 28 years. It's a bit different with voice acting...but now that I know? eh). I will be listening to that on Saturday (the 17th), and will have my thoughts on that here soon. I've been warned it was recorded during the pandemic at homes. So if you want to join in, prepare yourself for that.

As always, some of you lovelies who suggested/commented on my last few posts! Thank you so much!

@ivegotnonameidea

@treesofgreen

#Cucumber BBC #con o'neill #con oniell #cliff costello #Cliff Costello #How long can I talk about a character with less than 40 minutes of screen time #BBC Cucumber #Long enough to establish that most of these characters form a conglomerate of what I want in life...so #Con's Conography

[kanamori-kamper-moved]

Tron, any numbers you want!

hehe you’re give me too much power!!! Don’t tempt me to infodump about my babygirl.. but I’m gonna do it anyway!!

Here’s the ask game if anyone wants to send anymore characters!

~

12. Sexuality hc!

Vetrix has always been very gay to me. I always see people with these headcanons of him having a wife or smth but honestly I CANNOT see him with a woman. He’s very unashamedly a boykisser. His kids are all test tube babies, he’d sooner de-transition than willingly sleep with a woman.

He gets kind of weird around woman, kind of a mysognist because of internalized transphobia he needs to get over. Doesn’t excuse it but he’s trying </3

And technically not a sexuality hc but he’s very transmasc to me (or agender, depends on how I feel)! He uses He/They/It/Xe + Neos because why the fuck not. I like headcanoning old men as trans!! Just come and stop me >:3

7. A quote of them you remember

It’s either, “Maybe I’m just a bad dad!”, or “Your father always talked about friendship, and it only ended up being his undoing.” I might be misquoting that second one but its f the Shark Vs Quattro duel and it TORE MY HEART APART??? FUCKING CRIES????

5. Favourite Ship

Fathershipping, undoubtably. I know Most sub Fans are crazy about scientistshipping (which I do ship, to a lesser scale) but I find Fathershipping cuter. It’s funnier because the dub leans farther into Fathershipping and the sub leans more into scientistshipping. For context in episode 55, when Byron and Kazuma sit by the fire he makes a comment about faker being a good friend, but in the dub it’s changed so that Kazuma talks about how much of a good friend Byron is or smth to that effect. Funny detail I noticed :3

Like. Byron literally ASKS Kazuma to let him go into the portal (where he could’ve presumably died) because he wanted him to be safe instead of him. It takes SO MUCH to want to die for someone. There were also two tents in episode 55. THEY ARE LITERALLY IMPLIED TO HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER AUGHHH

I could go on a bigger tangent in another post (which I’m sure I have), but I just think their sweet.

Also I Hope I don’t get in trouble for this but their dynamic post-Barian world/astral world is just that one image of a hamster trying to eat a whole banana. Yes im implying what you think I am. Don’t ask

23. Future Headcanon

You know how Vetrix wasn’t reverted back to his original body? And how he’s just this stupid little baby man who has to go through puberty again? Yeah. He grows up into the most INSUFFERABLE (albeit like 50 year old) teenager, starts listening to Linkin Park and finally gets his drivers license for like the second time. He’s still very boykisser tho!! Tbh it’s only really exacerbated because hormones

28. The most unnecessary thing they did?

The whole possessing Shark thing. As much as I think him gaslighting Shark into thinking the evil homophobic rat killed his sister, what was the point lol. Like he could’ve stopped faker without Shark either way??

Also on another point but I have an issue with how Zexal villains are just treated as borderline evil until their redeemed and just do nothing of substance again. Vetrix is one of the worst cases of this. I could go off about this more in another post if asked.

3. A song that reminds you of them?

Not just one song! I have a whole playlist of songs that remind me of him :3 Take a listen if you want!!

#anthys asks #babygirl tag #yugioh zexal #Yugioh #ygo zexal #byron arclight #tron zexal #tron arclight #tron yugioh #vetrix #vetrix yugioh #Fathershipping

[stupid-sloot-headcanons]

As an older Gen Z past my teenage years I’ve noticed that younger people in my generation are…. Weirdly conservative?? And puritanical?? And love to police what grown adults are into sexually even when there’s zero things wrong with it (which is ironic, because there was this whole ordeal about teens on TikTok getting into “hardcore” kinks too early and bragging about being into choking or biting).

I guess it’s just the generational need teens have to feel superior and better than adults. It’s really annoying tbh.

You know, I've been reading a book called "A Renegade History of the United States" and one of the book's themes is that respectability politics aren't what got shit done and aren't what made the US such a free place. It was the whores, the bootleggers, the punks, the unashamed lispy flaming gays and stone butch lesbians, the "bad" people proving stereotypes "right", and the degenerates who made shit happen.

(Me making a rambling Pepe Silvia-esque corkboard about internet bullshit below)

What was considered degenerate and banned by respectable people (ie. Rock and roll music in the 1950s, American music and film in Soviet countries) was what pushed members of society to fight back against those respectable people: essentially, "fuck you, we're gonna listen to Elvis because this music is fun and so is dancing at clubs, drinking, and dressing like a thot."

Anyway, I bring this up because there's always a faction of people that desperately want to stamp out anything not respectable, anything ~problematic~ If I were to draw a parallel to fandom bullshit, I'd bring up the puritanical sides of fandoms on places like Tiktok that you've described and how they try to stop anyone from creating and enjoying weird degenerate shit. If you want to go really reach for straws, you could say this may stem from a very American mindset of puritanical values. The founding fathers hated how much people in their day spent time drinking and fucking prostitutes and gambling; ethnic groups like the Irish and Italian rose to "white" status by major influential leaders pushing for a sober and very religiously conservative lifestyle; the original groups behind the gay rights movement in the US insisting that no drag queens, no overtly feminine "swishy" gay men, and no butch lesbians could be in their movement for PR purposes; Martin Luther King Jr., Malcom X, and their political descendants like Jesse Jackson staunchly advocating against idleness and sexuality in order to be seen as respectable American citizens.

You can argue this emphasis on being seen as nonproblematic as possible, and enjoying nonproblematic things in as nonproblematic a way as possible, is a 21st century online extension of this long-lasting American mindset when it comes to morality and immorality.

Personally, I don't think minors should be consuming sexual content and ESPECIALLY not porn. It's just something not made for them; they're so mentally and emotionally underdeveloped that they can't understand that sex isn't at all what porn's idealized and hyperfantasized portrayal of it is. It's why they commonly develop body image issues (when they already struggle with that thanks to social media anyway, thus adding fuel to the fire), why they feel pressured to talk about sex as often because they think everyone expects them to be sexualized, and why some feel pressured to be okay with kinks and sexual acts with a partner even if they don't want to. And, regarding your ask, some push back against that oversexualization by shunning and rejecting anything they consider too sexual or sexually 'problematic', 'toxic', or impure (aka: sinful)

But that doesn't mean these teens who are having to deal with these issues have the right to barge into a space explicitly meant to exclude them. If you're living in this century, you NEED to learn how to create your own experience online without flinging shit at others who have their own curated experience. Staying in your lane is something you teach teens in driver's ed, but it applies to a lot of other aspects of life too 🤷‍♀️

#.discourse #sloot's essays

[taegularities]

Do people really think he doesn’t know what he’s singing about…..? 😟 Y’all are just mad that he’s acting grown finally

To the anon who said this shit ..i am sorry but if you think that this song is somewhat showing that jungkook is mature or knows about sex i am disappointed in you ..As an army myself... is this what we have come to ..The lyrics are not only disgusting but degrading towards women ..jungkook is a freaking sweet heart he is a man who respects women ..i cant believe that they showed this image of him when the actual jungkook we know (soloist or not) has songs like Euphoria , still with you , my you , stay live , My time and more ...i am no anti or solo stan ..i have loved and still love Bangtan bcz their songs are amazing ..they are so freaking talented ..i watched the mv ..love the feel and overall vibe bcz jk's voice is ❤️✨️ but the lyrics ( i am sorry but A Big NO) i have listened to his cover songs hell ( i would prefer them over this) ..how can people say that being mature means sex sex and sex ..GROW UP people ..Seven was proof that while talking about sex you dont need to degrade women and view them as boring , fuck toys 🙂 i am shocked that RM and SUGA listened to this and didnot even realise what the lyrics are ...if jungkook did know what the lyrics are about and didnot give a fuck that this song is literally giving a typical fuckboy energy and degrades women ..then i am truly disappointed in him as a fan ...I was so excited bcz seeing jungkook being confident in his body and exploring genres ..going outta his comfort zone i was truly happy..

Before you come for me saying saying i am just a hater lemme be clear.. i have been an army for years now and i consider myself lucky that i got to listen to their songs and meet them ...i have supported them whenever i got a chance ( albums , streaming , concert ) and as an adult ARMay , i completely understand what maturity is and what degradation is ..😑 i stream their songs bcz they are worth streaming and people should know how talented these men are but this .. nope

Even before this people were calling him and adding him on the list of queerbaiter bcz of his klien shoot (jk wearing a crop top with smoky make up ) and some imaging him as a fuckyboy / alpha male well this song just gave them another reason to hate on them ..i literally logged out of twitter bcz there were so many shit posts about jimin , jungkook even taehyung 😮‍💨 sucks cuz the jungkook i have listened to is nowhere now and i just see scooter and other assholes using him for his voice and dancing skills and luring him in a pop star dream..

I support them all , i want to see them happy and successful..i got no reason to hate them but people need to stop being biased and not see the reality ..this is coming from the fan who has supported jk's every song and listened to his covers .. he used to express himself through lyrics and his choice of lyrics were just ❤️ used to hit me deep ✨️ i have no issue with people who love this song ( cuz i did love jk's voice too ) but after i properly checked the lyrics i couldnot ..

Whew thats it ..if you think i am talking shit please ignore it y'all bcz ofcourse i am jealous and a hater right (yeah yeah ) ofcourse i dont know shit and i am criticising him bcz i want my innocent kookie back and dont respect him as an adult (right ) 🙄*biggest eyeroll

so, im not sure if you're attacking me with this, too, bc i never took anyone's side and am okay with any opinion y'all have lol 😭 i think the ask was just talking about how jk must know what he's singing about bc someone else asked whether he's aware of the lyrics. while admittedly phrased a lil odd, they probably meant that a lot of armys still see him as the innocent and sensitive young boy bc that's the image hybe tried to maintain for him and now they're offering music about sex to him to give him a more mature look.. i think that's it. i did also add it's probably not bc the other anon was mad but just curious. i agree that sex alone doesn't make anyone mature! i guess by now they're just making these songs to aggressively pull jk away from the doe eye image hybe built for him over the years. i'm not totally loving it either.

but other than that, yeah, i'm not the biggest fan of 3D either. it's absolutely okay if you support it and like it, i will NEVER judge anyone's taste in music just bc it doesn't align with mine — and i agree, we as a community and fan base are totally allowed to dislike something our faves put out bc that definitely happens. i used to enjoy maroon 5's music a lot more back in the days, same with paramore etc, but that doesn't mean we're antis or haters, for sure!! honestly, support what you enjoy, and if it's not your thing and you don't want to stream it, that's okay, too!! idk why there's that much pressure to stream and vote at all lol. but yeah anyway babe, it's super fine to not like 3D. i for one won't ever judge anyone for their opinions as long as we're all respectful with each other and treat other's tastes respectfully as well!!

#don't fight tho peeps let's just have a friendly convo hahaha #notes for rid 🌹 #anon #3D 🐰

[useramor]

Hi love, chapter 2 ramblings here💜💜💜 I love this soooo much. Really can't wait to read more:

Buck calls Eddie good dad🥺🥺🥺

Buck, adopt me please 🥺🥺🥺 I want to go to space center

Oh Eddie's insecurities 🥺 I always love fics where people explore it💜

"Not for the first time and definitely not for the last, Eddie is overwhelmed with how lucky they are to have found Buck. Buck, who found Carla, who took Eddie to see Chris after the earthquake, who comes over at least once a week to see Chris, practically ignoring Eddie completely. And Chris trusts him. Eddie hates that his son has been hurt by enough people to have trust issues at age eight, but he wraps his arms around Buck’s neck and stares at Eddie’s best friend like he hung the moon and all the stars in the sky. " 😭😭😭 Bia, I'm emotional. I have tears now

Yes, Eddie you look at Buck with heart eyes because he is good friend. Sure baby

Some backstory for Diaz siblings and character traits for Sophia?!!????? YES THANK YOU!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜

Eddie listens to Buck's ramblings 🥺 I'm never going to be not emotional about it

Oh, yes let's go queen 👑 call them cute family

"Not that we’re gay, obviously.” “Obviously.” sure boys. Sure. (Can I slap them please? Just tiny tiny slap. I'm promise)

"his smirk growing quickly, making his blue eyes seem stupidly bright in the natural light filtering in from the windows. " Poet Eddie back,babies 💜 and he is ready to be poetic about his bestie (no homo cause he is not gay)

Interesting how you are the one to start talking about hook ups , Eddie, but refuse to really talk about it. Eddie, please be consistent

Oh, evil Buck😈😈😈 let's go baby girl. Make this man give you his dick as you want it so bad

"Maybe Eddie can just have this. And maybe it won’t even end up in flames." You deserve good things, Eddie 🥺🥺🥺

"He briefly wonders if there’s a non-gay way to ask a guy to suck your dick. " ... No comments

I need Hen's pov🤣

Poor, Buck. I'm not sure I could survive Eddie in harness

Eddie, stop look at Buck's hands. They make you stupid

Buck, you're pathetic too. But yet again Eddie in harness would make me pathetic

Hen, wine night to laught about pathetic men?

Boys it's your work place, but ok🥵🥵🥵oh my favourite phrase "not gay". Yes, when you drunk it's not gay. You can trust me

“I’m not gay, man.”“Your dick is interested.”“My dick can’t tell the difference.” ....no comments again

Oh, Buck😈

Oh, gay word again

"Except Buck said he knew he didn’t taste half bad. Eddie’s never cared to taste himself, but maybe if he does it’ll cancel it out, or something. In the same way that a handjob isn’t the gayest exchange in the world because he can do the same thing to himself, maybe if he licks his hand clean it’ll cancel out."🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, Bia, I love you

Oh, yes Eddie those boys wasn't gay just high school mates

"Like he said, it’s a sexual image. Sex is sex, it’s not that he’s attracted to Buck, it’s just that his body has started to form a conditioned response to Buck’s body in sexual situations. Pavlov or something, Eddie’s pretty sure." I want to learn to explain things the way I need them to be for me like Eddie. King teach me to be a denial Queen

Eddie like to be call sir, Buck has a thing for hands. Just facts

MY LOOOOOOOVE YOU ARE THE SWEETEST THE WAY I LITERALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY???? HOW DOES ONE RESPOND TO SUCH KINDNESS AND SWEETNESS AND LOVE????? you are a darling i absolutely love you and i'm SO happy you're enjoying the fic (and enough to send me these!!!) you are wonderful. i hope you're having the loveliest day and you continue to have fun with these idiots!!

#bia gets mail #diana tag #straight!eddie fic love

[what-if-nct]

What up bestie i am enjoying reading the joyce chronicles sm i figured id add some flowers too; coral, carnation, hibiscus 🌺🌺🌺

coral— what’s something you’re passionate about?

I think the thing that gets me really going and I just feel passionate about is how plus size people are treated. Because it's something I've dealt with my whole life, like Its the main reason I would self harm and I did really unhealthy things I still struggle with today. I was 10 years old and didn't want to be alive. And it wasn't because I hated my body, It was because of the way I was treated because of my body.

That's what makes you hate yourself and it makes no sense why plus size people are treated so poorly. And it's never about actually health, what about my sister who's skinny and eats so much more unhealthy then me. I actually have issues eating enough. But even if a plus size person does eat unhealthily they do not owe anyone perfect health. It is no one's business and everyone should be treated with common decency and respect no matter what size they are.

Luckily I am in a place I am happy with my body. I still don't like weight talk. Like I love my best friend she's like my sister. But she pointed out I lost weight which fine but the language around it being "you look like a new person" and "I'm proud of you" just rubs me the wrong way. Cause all my clothes still fit the same it's not a drastic change but she's the same size as me so I know it's just a projection of her own body image issues but it still just made me feel kinda bad.

So clearly that is something Im passionate about just for plus size people to be respected and honestly left the fuck alone. It's why i try to write stories centered around plus size women. Though I write from my experiences which aren't exactly universal. But I also refuse to write about a plus size women who hates themselves there's too many of those stories. Okay I'm done I just wrote an essay sorry.

carnation— how important are “looks” to you in a relationship? I'd be lying if I said not at all but like for women no absolutely not all women are beautiful. Men, yeah you have to at least look like the type of guy I like. Which is all based on the person's personal style anyway. Long hair, clean shaven, tattoos, piercings those are all based on personal choices that reflect personality and I'll even except short hair like Chan's hair.

hibiscus— what’s your favorite pet name, if any? why? Princess, I've only been called princess a few times but absolute favorite. Baby girl is a close second. Do I listen to compilations of Chan saying baby girls? I can't confirm nor deny that statement. I also was called Shortcake when I had red hair that was cute.

[katnisscarter]

Self image and self worth and self love blah blah blah man I’m tired of that shit. Honestly. Time is an illusion that seems to make sense to other people and never to me. I think the same thoughts I did at 15. I avoid the mirror when I’m naked just like I did at 16. And 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. You get the point. I look at my side profile and have to blink back tears. every. Single. Time.

I can’t handle other people taking my picture it absolutely sends me into a fucking panic attack. I never look right.

I stare at my face so long I don’t understand what I’m looking at anymore. Which, to be fair, I don’t really recognize her anyways. All I know is the same thoughts that plagued me then ruminate in my head making cozy homes of the corners.

I could tell you 100 things wrong with my body before I could tell you one thing right. And I get it. It’s not about me if you want to lose weight and work on yourself. I know that logically. You tell me the way you talk about yourself doesn’t apply to me. But I hear the way you say fat. I hear the way you say worthless. I hear the way you say ugly. How does that not apply to me too? I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life right now and you can’t seem to escape the feeling of fat fast enough. How does that not affect me. You can work out. I fucking pull my shoulder at work six months ago and it’s still injured. My fucking wrist stops working if I do repetative motion too long. I can’t even hand write very fucking long anymore because it hurts. If I fucking sit for too long it hurts. If I stand for too long it hurts. It literally hurts to just walk the first time after sleeping a normal 8hrs like everyone else.

I remember the first time I cried in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet, begging myself to just throw up the food. I was 14. It sounds silly though, doesn’t it? That’s a kid. She’s just a baby. Why do I find myself 11 years later doing the same fucking thing. Even though it’s been years I still find myself staring at my naked body in the mirror and my eyes glance to the razor sitting in the shower. Force of habit I guess.

Like listen I understand that men have body issues too. I’m not denying that. I’m not saying hey you weren’t bullied too. But why is being thin so tied into being a woman. Like I don’t want to minimize your feelings but because im not skinny or slim in the right areas it’s like I’m less of a woman.

I guess maybe that’s what I’m struggling with. Feeling like a woman. I picked a pretty womanly profession though. Being a nurse is traditionally seen as a woman’s job. It includes being a nurse, a waitress, a maid, a therapist. It includes getting screamed at by patients and told you’re a fucking idiot. It includes being pinched or spit on or bit or called fat bitch but you just stand there because they’re confused, they don’t mean it.

Were those girls confused when they’d run away from me at 8 years old on the playground because I couldn’t keep up? Were those boys confused when they got their friend to ask me out as a prank in middle school? Was the girl who was my best friend who later wasn’t just confused when she told me I should kill myself because the world would be better off? Or that I was a cow. Was the 17 year old boy I let see me naked for the first time just confused when he turned away and left the room like I was too hideous to look at?

Maybe it’s because I spent so long picking myself apart when he cheated on me. I spent months trying to figure it out. What was wrong with me? A question I’d been asking for years. Was I not pretty enough? Were my boobs too small? Was my tummy too big? Was my laugh too loud? Was I too stupid? Was I too mentally ill? Was I crazy? I can’t seem to find the answer. No matter how hard I look.

Even now, with a partner who loves me so much. I still don’t feel right. There IS something wrong with me. Just no one in my life sees it right now. But other people have. She did. He did. He saw every ugly cracked piece of me and it was too much. Too much. Too much.

I just feel like I’m waiting for the day he comes home and tells me it’s too much. I’m too much. I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. I’m too stupid. I’m too sick. I’m too mentally ill. I’m too anxious. I’m too depressed. I’m too self conscious. I’m too sad. I’m too loud. I’m too weird. I’m too much to take care of. The day will come and I don’t think I can survive it. So I just don’t let anyone in anymore. It’s like I locked the door and threw away the key. I opened myself up to you completely and you ripped everything off the walls telling me it’s not enough, so now no one gets to see.

I look at old pictures sometimes. She has the prettiest smile. Shes so beautiful. She’s so happy. There’s a naivety in her youth. She doesn’t know what will happen. I yearn to be her again. To not know those things. To not feel entirely disconnected from myself. To feel like I can connect with people around me again. She looks so happy. She was happy to be with you. You look happy too you know. Your smile looks genuine. Bright. It travels all the way to your eyes. It’s like I can hear them laughing just in the other room. It’s warm.

But they’re not. Youre not here. She’s not here. It’s not what happened. And I guess that’s hard to explain to anyone in my life now. How that not being the reality hurts me so much. Not one fucking person understands it. I’ve just stopped talking about it. All anyone does is talk about the bad stuff. Or just tell me about how great my relationship now is. Which it is, i love him very much. But I can’t help to not look back. I can’t help to not look behind me. To wonder what that would have been. To wonder how they’d be living.

Everyone says to give it time. Time heals all wounds or whatever bullshit is in the self help books. Which I guess it does in some things. But it’s like there’s such a clear before and after. Before everything went to shit. And so much of what happened shook every single thing I knew about myself. Every single thing I was, just taken away from me. So that loss of innocence and loss of my first love is so intertwined I can’t help but feel like i want to go back sometimes. But I don’t know if I want you back so much as I want myself back. Because after you left I was so awful to myself it was new lows I didn’t know I could go. I want the naivety back. I want the belief that everything will be okay in the end back. I guess I just want hope back.

I just wish someone understood me. I just want someone to understand me like you did. To not get mad or judge me.

I just want someone to understand.

[stormywinter42]

The End is so fucking trans like omg (its also just a good song)

Anyways I’m gonna analyze the song line by line now

(New to lyrical interpretation by the way and I don’t know a lot about the albums overall story)

“Now, come on, come all to this tragic affair”

Something tragic happened what it was exactly isn’t clear but it likely led to death

“Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair”

Could mean a couple things first one being “hey this isn’t a happy cheerful event you shouldn’t be wearing makeup right now” or the interpretation I like is it’s an allegory for gender dysphoria “wipe off that makeup” referring to a trans girl being forced into male gender roles “whats im is despair” is the dysphoria that comes along with it

“So throw on the black dress mix in with the lot”

No real new information comes from this line it’s just further enforcing the idea that someone’s died and there’s now a funeral

“You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not”

Waking up in a false figure that doesn’t match your identity. Being someone you’re not could be being seen as someone else than who you see yourself as by everyone else or it could mean intentionally displaying a false identity to appease those around you. Neither of which are good and im sure both are experiences charged by trans people. Ignoring my trans interpretation of the song it could potentially be alluding to reincarnation as death is often associated with being an endless sleep. Being reincarnated could be seen as awaking from this endless sleep in a new form (something you’re not)

“If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see”

✨Self image issues✨

“You can find out first hand what it's like to be me”

The speaker also struggles with some form of self image issues whether that be through their identity not matching their physical appearance or their appearance not fitting the expectations set for them by society

“So gather 'round, piggies, and kiss this goodbye”

The speaker is telling those attending their funeral to kiss them goodbye. Referring to the crowd as piggies implies some sort of distain or hatred for the group since it’s certainly not a kind nickname

“I'd encourage your smiles, I'll expect you won't cry”

This line explains that hatred. The speaker is expecting people to smile and laugh at their funeral almost as if they are glad to be rid of them. The speaker believes those who are closest to them hate them and want them dead

“Another contusion, my funeral jag”

A contusion is a bruise. A dark mark on the skin. This bruise may serve as a reminder of the death and I don’t know wtf funeral jag means I know a jag is a sharp object but that’s it

“Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag”

Oooohhhhh I love this line so much. Drag is the practice of cross dressing as a performance. Resignation has a couple meaning but here I’d rather use the second definition “accepting something I desire able but inevitable” in this care death. Serving your resignation in drag is my greatest fear. To me it means dying and being dressed in men’s clothing for my funeral and having my body spend an eternity in drag.

“You've got front row seats to the penitence ball”

Penitence is the act of sorrow and repentance. Im this line the speaker is talking directly to the listener as by listening to the song we are among the first to show sorrow for the hate that the speaker felt during their life and we therefore have front row seats

“When I grow up I wanna be nothing at all”

This line can be interpreted a couple ways but I think more thematically this line is about suicide growing up to be nothing at all could simply mean not wanting to grow up in the first place. To stop life in its tracks and simply growing up into nothing

“I SAID YEAH!!”

10/10 line. Can confirm he did say yeah

The song finishes with the speaker repeatedly shouting save me. The speaker no longer wants to die they want to be saved shouting they’re too young to die

And then it segways into Dead!

#mcr #my chemical romance #emo #lyrical analysis #music #Spotify

[whsprings]

I know it has been said before but I am going to say it again-- by attempting to police women’s and feminine-presenting people’s bodies, society is subjecting us to another layer of control and dehumanization. as long as woman are preoccupied with shrinking their bodies, our lives, mental capacity, and ability to create change are also limited. self love is an act of rebellion not only because it defies societal norms but because it gives us the freedom to use our headspace for things that actually matter. 

#listen i know men have body image issues too but that is not what i am talking about rn #also #terfs do not touch #body image #bopo #body liberation #fat liberation #body positivity #self love #ed recovery #pro recovery