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one-abuse-survivor · 2 years

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i really need to vent im so sorry. my sister is driving me to literal insanity. i dont know if im a manipulator or shes truly being a horrible person to me. i talk to my bf a lot. facetime pretty much all day every day, and she can hear me talking through the wall, mostly mumbles no words, but still noise, and she doesnt say anything. she games at the WORST times, honestly, at least we stop talking at 8/9pm, but thats when she starts gaming with her friends, screaming (yes. literal ear piercing screams from horror games) shouting and overall joyous loudness from her room. i put my headphones on and try to block it out, knowing shes just having fun and i need to put up with it. its been like this the whole year practically. the past week shes been getting closer to dad again. dad. the guy who hates me with a passion and mentally abused me for 2 years straight and never got a consequence for it. every. single. time. she hangs out with him, or games with him, she turns into this horribly mean snarky person who is so so rude. and ik im sounding dramatic but shes literally the opposite otherwise. but other than dad shes also got a new friend whos very judgemental and snarky so ig shes impressionable. but anyway the past week shes been very rude and mean to both me and my mum. mums a huge pushover so being mean to her is like kicking a dog, and i truly hate it when shes mean to her. cos mum loves her more than she loves me (its evident and shes told me multiple times i promise im not inferring it) so shes much more of a pushover with my sister 'everything has to be perfect for her'. i hate it. ik ik its jealousy but im dealing with it or at least trying to. so tonight she was singing horribly and ive not had a good day, im stressed, tired, and trying to sleep and here she is humming away purposefully sounding awful. i ask her to be quiet, continues, tell her to shut up, she continues, so i bang on the wall and i kid you not she slowly gets wuieter and quieter til its barely a mumble i can hear from her room and it makes me so unfathomably angry and i truly have no idea why. its like she knows every single button of mine and pushes them at will. so i texted her saying, why are you being such a dick lately its so annoying, to which she was like "i put up iwith you blah blah you cant put up with me blah' i told her to stop playing victim so she told me i need to learn to shut up and put up. a phrase straight from dads book. she knows it is and it throws me into a spiral ehenever i hear it and she knows!! so here i am angry af trying to calm down and not do something ill regret tomorrow, whilst shes happily downstairs making light conversation with dad. i hate it so so much. i did respond back, are you being sarcastic rn?? if not i dont want to speak to you ever again. and she said ok. ik ik its dramatic af but i just cant with her anymore she makes me feel how dad made me feel and i then react like a child, to a child. ik my responses are in the wrong, i really am sorry if i sound really childish or just plain stupid and im truly in the wrong, pls pls tell me if i am. i just cannot handle her at all lately shes literally been a demon lmao (jkjk) thank you for letting me vent to you, the safe space youve created really means a lot <3

hi im the anon whos mad at my sister, uhm - im very close to starting my period and have come to the conclusion that its the reason for the anger lol. Ik i do have some issues but i think it was mostly irrational anger when i wrote the vent, and not an acc issue, or at least thats what im really hoping is the answer lol. im super sorry about it, and i hope youre having an awesome day 💕

Hey, nonnie. I'm glad you could let out some of your frustration and anger here ❤️ I didn’t see your second ask until after writing the reply below, but I think all of it applies anyway, becuase we’re allowed to have days where we’re more irritable. I’m having a good day today, I hope you are too!

I don't think you sound childish or stupid, nonnie. It sounds to me like you might have had a trauma reaction toward her because of the abuse your dad put you through. Trauma reactions (ie. having flashbacks, going into fight/flight, becoming hypervigilant...) don't just appear when we're interacting with the people who abused us; they often also appear when other people do or say something that reminds us of the abuse. Your sister knowingly used a line your dad has used to hurt you before, so I think it is completely understandable that you had an emotional reaction that seems "dramatic" in retrospect. I can only talk from personal experience, but I've also done the same over text in the past, and it was always after something/someone sent me into a fight response.

And, nonnie, even if trauma responses don't justify our actions (they only explain them), I think it's fair to say that this situation with your sister escalated from both sides, not just yours. It wasn't you exploding at her out of nowhere. As you said, she was pushing your buttons, and she knew she was upsetting you, because you'd asked her to be quiet several times.

So yeah, if she makes you feel like your dad made you feel, I think it's understandable that you're having these big emotional reactions toward her when she oversteps your boundaries and purposefully pushes your buttons. You said you react "like a child" toward her, and I think it might be helpful to think about why your reactions feel like those of a child. Children—especially abused children—feel small and defenceless, and sometimes they lash out to protect themselves when this fear and defencelessness become overwhelming. So "reacting like a child" doesn't have to necessarily mean "oh I'm being so immature and stupid". It can mean "I feel threatened and helpless, so my body is having an instinctive reaction to protect me".

What I'm trying to get that is I think you ought to be a little bit kinder to yourself, nonnie. You're allowed to be affected by her attitude toward you. You're allowed to acknowledge that these reactions you're having aren't a flaw on your part, but a sign you're going through a lot of distress and your body is protecting you in any way it can.

I also think you need to be kinder to yourself about feeling jealous that your mum loves your sister more than you. Your jealousy isn't the thing that needs to be fixed in this situation. Your jealousy is a very appropriate reaction to a very unfair situation to you. You deserve to be loved and cared for and protected from harm as much as your sister. You never deserved to hear that your mum loves her more than you. You're not being selfish or childish by feeling jealous; you're just acknowledging your unmet emotional needs and acknowledging that you deserve better than this. And you really do. You deserve so, so much better than this.

Your emotions are allowed, nonnie. Your anger and your jealousy and your defensiveness when she's mean to you and your mum are all allowed. Please don't forget that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

#Ask #Vent #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive father tw #Toxic sister #Trauma tw

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ahxiang · 2 years

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watch and rewatch list tag

i was tagged by the lovely tay @tutontawans to do this tag!! ty my love <3 i'm watching so many shows bc adhd, so this'll be long lmao

watching:

• extraordinary attorney woo: i am absolutely obsessed with this one, my little neurodivergent heart is so blessed. like all media, esp with autistic folk, it has its flaws, but it is so far the best and loveliest depiction of an autistic character i've ever seen. highly recommend!!

• triage: bestieeeeeeees, i am a huge sucker for a good time loop, and one in a medical drama??? *chef's kiss*

• link: eat love kill: this show is absolutely everything—romance, comedy, thriller, fantasy, drama, mystery—and has absolutely everything—weird psychic link, cooking, twin sister murder revenge plot, pathetic little meow meow, unlucky girlboss. what's not to love??

• kinnporsche: thoroughly enjoying it, v worth the two year wait, and i can't believe it's almost over

• minato shouji coin laundry: having a hard time getting past how young shin is, but besides that i'm really enjoying this! it's cute and so far better than the manga, which is pretty decent

• tomorrow: i've been v slowly but surely making my way through this kdrama and its v good and sentimental and fun and cute and emotional

• star & sky: sky in your heart: it's basic but cute and i'm enjoying having a classic thai bl for my frigays

• senpai, danjite koidewa: WHERE IS EP 3???? i binged the manga and loved it and now am in utter agony waiting for new eps

• my secret love: i'm kinda behind on this one, yet it's one of my favorite currently airing (for now, i've only seen 2.5 eps, so don't come for me if it soured). v cute and classic

• sh**ting stars: also behind on this one, i was waiting so impatiently for new eps that i forgot about it absjdbka. 2 eps left to go, though, and i love every second of it so far.

• a robot in the orange orchard: having such a good time with this one, it's so cute and sweet and funny and the female lead is so <3

• check out: idk why i'm watching this, it's so shit and v annoying and makes no sense. but i'm in too deep and i love the actors, so i'm still here

• minamdang cafe: only one ep in but i love this little found family of scammers and the detective girlboss

• stranger things s4 vol. 2: no one said this was an asian drama watchlist, lmao. i'm v slowly making my way through this bc 1. it's very long and 2. it's kinda eh, esp with the spoilers i've seen

• who rules the world: i went absolutely insane over this one when it first started airing, but then my parents and i started rewatching shl and watching this in between just made me ache for more shl, so now it's kinda on hold, but i'm keeping it in my currently watching list to hold myself accountable!

rewatching:

• shan he ling: the hyperfixation has lasted over a year, babeyyyy!! currently rewatching with my parents (my dad has seen up to ep 26 and my mom's never seen it) and i love it sm and want nothing more than to be watching it 24/7 but my parents have lives and i guess i do too (curse you uni summer classes and job!!), so we're watching very slowly.

• bad buddy: i already finished a full rewatch with my irl friend a little while ago, but another irl friend is on ep 10 so i'm rewatching along with her so that i can talk abt it without spoiling (and also to refresh my mind and go properly insane in out text convos)

as you can tell i'm watching wayyyy too many shows, so i'm getting through them pretty slowly, not to mention the fact that i'm currently spending most of my time listeing to the white vault, a horror podcast i'm incredibly hyperfixated on, absjsj. but such is the life of a gay person with adhd! thanks again to tay for tagging me, this was fun! i tag @ahxu-laowen @laowen @tipnaree @liyazaki @musicdramalove and anyone else who wants to!

#tea tags #and yes watching this many shows at once is quite normal for me abskdjls #long post

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yelenasdiary · 1 year

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Hi, I just wanted to tell smth, bcs i feel like i need to "vent" to someone that doesnt know me. I hope its alright.

I knew I was gay ever since I was 11, (Im 18 now) I never talked openly about this, although I came out to my sister when I was about 15. She was completely supporting and the only person that knew about it. Of course Im openly gay online, because I can be anonymous that way.

Im not someone that can talk about their feelings, i always just kept everything to myself, not even my bestfriend knows Im gay. Recently however I became a little more open. I have a lot, and I mean A LOT queer people at my school, so this topic is pretty popular there, and everytime someone asked me abt my sexuality, I just said that its complicated.

Today I talked with a friend about sexuality and everything, she came out to me as ace and asked abt me, so I surprisingly said that im lesbian. Comepletely honestly. After the conversation about out sexualities I felt a lot lighter and more free, so after coming back home I got this weird confidence and decided that after 7 whole years of being closeted, Im going to tell my mom.

She was accepting and completely supported me, said that the only thing she needs is for me to be happy. Surprisingly she even came out to me as bi.

Now please dont misunderstand me, I know that a lot of people end up with very bad response, sometimes even getting kicked out, I know that Im very privileged bcs of that reaction from my mom, however instead of feeling light, happy or finally free, I just have this kind of dread. I dont know how to describe it. I feel so weird that my mom knows now this big part of me, its a completely different feeling than what I have with friends. In a way I even regret it. Im scared that my mom will see me different now.

I think Im maybe just used to this whole privacy of my sexuality, thats why the feeling of regret.

What do you think about this?

Also, after telling my mom, I kind of feel free to tell my bsf now, I dont know if I should tho. And also my other friends, most of them (if not all lmao) are queer themselfs, so its obvious It would be okay.

I asked my mom if i should tell my bsf, and she said no, that its a private thing and no one needs to know about it. This kind of gives me iffy vibes, like why treat it like some kind of taboo?

I want to live honestly, and be true to myself, without needing to hide

sorry for this long text

Firstly - I think you are extremely brave for coming out to anybody! it's not easily and it can be uncomfortable so I just want to say that even though I don't know you but I am very proud of you!

It can be scary and uncomfortable when you first come out to anybody, it's that voice in the back of our minds that try to convince us that we shouldn't have told anybody because we've kept it in for so long that we start to tell ourselves that there is somewhat of a second option. I'm not sure if you know what I mean but that's how I felt when I came out to my mother. It wasn't ideal, she made a homophobic comment about a lesbian couple chill in the back seat of their car and I sort of snapped at her and told her what I identify as and now she's trying to adjust to that.

My mother sometimes makes comments where and there that make me annoyed but I can't expect her to understand straight away so I've been giving her time to get used to the imagine of her daughter not wanting to have their own kids and that I may one day marry a woman.

Secondly - I think if you want to come out to others, go for it!! You should be proud of who you are and it's not something you have to keep to yourself anymore. Sure, if people have something negative to say about it, that is on them. You are a lovely person and have a wonderful heart. You are loved and most certainly wanted!

You and everybody else who sees my blog will always have a safe place to come and vent or share news no matter how big or small it might fell.

Again, congratulations on coming out! I'm so proud of you and sending you lots and lots of love!! Stay well x

#yelenasdiary asks #anon

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bbina · 17 days

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omg i was in the middle of writing my ask out when i got a weverse notif and tried swiping it away but i accidentslly closed the tab 😭😭😭

my memory is gonna fail me here but i'll do my best to rewrite it out🙏🙏

i died a total of 5 times today but btl always resurrects me🫡🫡 the real mvp of this update was actually dad💸 but also #justiceforeunseok cuz not only does his sister who only wants to drive for her bf get promised a car before he does, his life is also put at risk by said sister who only wants to drive for her bf because she was texting the said bf who she wants to drive for while learning to drive for him. i love the song siblings and your assassin au idea i'll need to see that written sometime soon btw i think ur written stuff is spectacular like seriously from what i've read in btl you're so good at conveying emotions through your words 🙏🙏 never be afraid to be confident!!

AND AND ALSO wonbin's hair omg i fear that was the end of me . i was gone. poof! disintegrated! and i feel terribly sorry for the people on my insta cf who had to witness me going feral when i saw the pics😔 but that one insta post with him in the train and the caption being love 119 lisbon ver this post btw i just found it again https://www.instagram.com/p/C5tMpqqR9vy/?igsh=NW9mOXY0djBwdWw3 THAT sent me . he was so crazy for that jsjdjsjdnsjcjs picture this imagine leaving the place u and wonbin grew up in knowing him as the wonbin from love 119 era and returning to see him as wonbin from days in lisbon era like appearance wise Am I Crazy yesni am

i think that is all from me for today i'm so sorry for going on another rant lmao i need sleep😭😭 until next time user bbina i will haunt u again with my lengthy anon asks watch out

— 🫀

omg rip first ask 😭

at least eunseok has a black card under his name and yn doesn’t… well they share it but point still stands! but what does a card have against a brand new car 😔 dad💸 has an obvious favorite and it’s not eunseok nor yn.. its charlie anyways! eunseok risking his life for his sister who calls the gear shift a prndl…. also texted while driving which is like the golden rule of driving… bless eunseok u need a gf stat..

that assassin au was just a lil brainrot tbh 😔 yall can imagine whatever with that 😭

WONTIPOO THERE I SAID IT.. wonpuppy devoters you have a new member… me 🧍🏻 hes so fucking KIYOWO KIYEOBDA AIGOOOOOOOOO also he lowkey looks like lee jongsuk or maybe thats just me cus his hair is so floofy and his luscious lips im OBSESSED like just last night he was posting slutty instagram pictures AND 6 HOURS LATER HES LOOKING LIKE AN ANGEL.. A CHERUB… CUPID FOR ALL WE CARE

#love the yapping 🫀anon #its like reading a video essay transcript #mailbox #btl ask #★.mail: 🫀 anon

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servin-up-surveys · 2 months

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survey #202

Last time you went on a rollercoaster: Never. At least, not a legit one, because I'm terrified of those. I've been on like, one kiddie one, but even that was as a kid.

Whose birthday is next, out of all the people you know? My younger sister's.

Would you eat a live cockroach if it made you a millionaire? A millionaire? Yes. I'd probably puke in the process but you'd bet your fuckin' ass I'm trying, being poor sucks.

Who do you think about most? Besides myself and what I have going on, Girt.

Do you have embarrassing parents? My dad can be.

Are you any good at writing? I think writing is probably my strongest talent. I don't feel as good as I once was, but I can at least acknowledge I'm above average at it.

What’s something that really matters to you? My mental health.

Do you prefer bar or liquid soap? Liquid, I hate bar soap.

Do you have high or low self esteem levels? Very low.

Do you like mint or orange flavored chocolate? I love mint chocolate! I've never tried orange.

How often do you get spots? Like, pimples? I will almost always get at least one blemish during my time of the month. Otherwise, they're very rare in my adulthood.

Do you prefer instrumental songs or ones with lyrics? Ones with lyrics, usually. But I'm perfectly capable of enjoying instrumental, too.

Do you carry a bag around with you often? What does it look like? Yes, it's a small white purse shaped like a ghost, with two black ovals for its eyes. It's a biiiit smaller than I'd prefer, but I mean, it came from Temu for a very low price, I'll take what it gave me.

Name one of your favorite memories. Early morning fishing trips with my dad as a kid, especially if he was taking us out on his little blue boat.

Have you ever had braces? Do you need them? I did as a pre-teen/teenager.

Are you a subscriber to any magazines? Which? No.

What is something you want but can’t afford to buy? I'd LIKE a 4x2x2x PVC tank for Venus. That would be her final, "perfect" enclosure.

Do you usually eat wheat bread or white bread, or are you gluten-free? Wheat.

Which lost friend do you most wish you could be friends with again? Megan. She lied about the bulk of her life for pity, but... our friendship was very important to me. I don't feel like she did it maliciously, she just... wanted someone to feel sorry for her and took advantage of being an online friend to do so, I could never truly see that she was lying.

Do you think you would be happier if you had more money? YES??????????? I know I would be, not just "think." No, money would never solve all of my problems, but be poor and THEN come back to me with "mOnEy DoEsN't BuY hApPInEsS!!!!!"

What is something currently on your wishlist from Etsy? lmao there's this shirt featuring cute-ass lil kittens with a pentagram in the middle and the text is "tax churches, hail satan" in like the Iron Maiden font and I am DYING for it

Is there a Target near you? Yeah, maybe like, 7-ish minutes away.

Which is closest to you: Target, Walmart, Kmart, or Meijer? Walmart.

Who do you go to when you’re lonely? Or what do you do when you’re lonely? My mom or Girt.

What do you dislike about the house you live in? It's in a cookie cutter neighborhood with absolutely zero charm or interest and I just hate it.

Have you ever been clubbing? Did you have fun? No. I can't imagine myself having fun.

Have you ever volunteered? Yes.

What holidays do you celebrate? Valentine's with my partner, I'm very serious about this year beginning a tradition of doing something for Earth Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas. On New Year's Eve Mom and I will normally have a drink, but that's the extent of it. For the 4th of July, last year we did hot dogs on the grill and s'mores, and I'd like to do that again, even though I don't really give a shit about Independence Day.

Do you have a best friend? How long have you known them? Yeah, my boyfriend. I've known him since my freshman year of high school, so like... since I was 15-ish.

How often do you take selfies? Very rarely.

What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming.

Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? Forum animal roleplay.

Have you ever drank so much that you passed out? No. I don't enjoy alcohol enough for that.

What is your favorite way to eat rice? (white, steamed, fried, brown, sweetened…) Fried.

What’s your favorite horror movie? The OG The Blair Witch Project.

Have you ever had to have a tooth cut out? My only two wisdom teeth that came in, yes.

What video games did you play when you were growing up? The OG Spyro trilogy, Crash Bandicoot, lots of games based on kid movies and TV shows, hunting games (I know), etc.

What pet names do you use for your friends/loved ones? "Hun," "love," "darlin," "sweetie," stuff like that.

What’s your favourite Disney movie? The Lion King.

Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks? Diet sodas are a fucking travesty, I just can't

Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon? Yes. Tez and Mazzy are both 100% invited to my wedding, so hopefully one day I'll meet them both. I'd love to meet Shaz too, it'd be dope as hell if we both visited the KMP at the same time and met. There are other online buds that'd be cool to meet, but those are the three where I'm like, I REALLY would like to meet them.

Are you a fan of garlic bread? Bitch I am more than a FAN, I'd trade you my soul for some fuckin garlic bread lmao

Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? Yeah; ideally I'd love to be vegan, and I had a vegetarian streak, but my extreme pickiness that I just can't shake makes surviving without meat (nevermind adding other animal products to that!) impossible for me. I'd be so malnourished.

What is your boss’s (or school principal’s) name? N/A

Do you like eggnog? No.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Yes, my aunt and her daughter both have it.

Are you and your best friend complete opposites? No, we're very similar.

If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? I'd probably pick a major RP plot to base it around.

Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? Dude I'm an adult, I'm not wasting time or energy on that bullshit. Even if I WASN'T an adult, I wouldn't.

Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? Besides having very poor eyesight without my glasses, no. I have astigmatism, but I wouldn't call that a serious issue, it's very common.

Do you have sensitive teeth? Not so much anymore, I only did at the worst of my teeth neglect.

What are your views on our current president? I voted for the guy and I hate him lmao. I'd rather have him in office than Trump though, hence why he got my vote.

What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Clean the litterbox, feed Roman, feed and water Venus/maintain her terrarium.

Who did you last worry about and why? My boyfriend, because it took him longer to get to my house from his work than it normally does, and it was very windy outside. I wasn't like, SUPER worried, but the concern was still there. Turns out he stopped at a gas station.

When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I genuinely can't do this. I'll just use the excuse of not being hungry, because my face WILL say if I don't like something, and my gag reflex is immediate. If I try swallowing something I don't like, I'll involuntarily shudder, like it's super obvious.

Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) Yes, I hate trackpads.

What was your high school mascot? A firebird.

What was your first job? Sales associate at GameStop.

Do you remember your first time? No because I haven't had it. I was abstinent through my first serious relationship and my boyfriend now has crippling performance anxiety + we live with our moms so conditions just haven't worked out.

Favourite home-cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti.

What is something you don’t have any natural talent for? Mathematics.

How do you feel about your body? I despise it. It humiliates me.

What are three things you like that are blue? Birds, the sky, sometimes water.

What is one sad song that you enjoy listening to? One of the saddest songs (imo) that I enjoy a whole lot is "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade.

Do you like butterflies? Butterflies look like they should be mythical creatures, I adore butterflies.

Do you prefer to read fiction or non-fiction? I greatly prefer fiction. I read books to escape.

If you have a significant other, what is his/her name? It's actually Donald Jr., but I've always known him as Girt.

Have you ever had to use a wheelchair? Only for very short instances. When I had my asthma attack, I had to be wheeled inside because of how low my oxygen was; my body wasn't properly oxygenated at all and it was making walking almost impossible, it was the strangest feeling. I also recall when I did some terrible shit to my ankle, I was wheeled into I think urgent care.

Have you ever been pulled over by a cop? In my very brief period of driving, no.

What are three things you would change about your body if you could? I wish I was slim, had much lighter/less body hair, and clearer/less dry skin.

Who was the last person who gave you a hug? My boyfriend.

Have you ever questioned your gender? No. I'm very unattached to the concept and identity implications of gender so I'm just content with the sex I was born as.

What is your favorite thing to do in the snow? Wander around and take photos!

Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I LOVE swimming in the ocean, for real.

What were three of your favorite things to do at recess as a kid? Dig tunnels in the sandbox, the swing, and playing Four Square on the basketball court.

What is one thing you’ve gotten for free on your birthday? Desserts at restaurants.

Have you ever been to Tennessee, USA? Yes, my brother lives there.

What are some things that fascinate you? Animal behavior, caves, outer space, stuff like cryptids and conspiracy theories, etc.

What did you last remember dreaming about? I actually had a tornado nightmare last night.

What did you last watch on TV? Cunk on Earth with Girt.

What is one of your toxic traits? I can take things very personally.

Have you ever found a skeleton while outside? I've found animal remains, yeah, not like, a human skeleton lmao

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions #random surveys #personal surveys #questionnaire

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youredreamingofroo · 2 months

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I'm finally doing it. 100 OC questions with Roo.

-> 100 OC questions by the-moon-dust-writings

under the cut to save yall from a lengthy dash - also spaced it all out so its easier to read mainly cuz im dyslexic and its impossible to read tumblr text half the time 💀

also if there's anything that's unfinished or illegible, im really sorry, its 1 AM and my eyes are starting to go cross-eyed 😭😭😭

1. How do they present themselves to others? ▷ Roo tends to completely shut off any form of his real self when initially meeting people, he fears coming off as weird to others, however as he gets to know people more and gets closer, his mask slowly fades. In general, he presents himself as tight and sometimes stingy and/or jumpy (to lesser known people), or he'll present himself as silly, loose and able to laugh, and better at communicating (to more well known people).

2. Do they like animals?

▷ He absolutely LOVES animals, he loves just being in proximity of them and literally wishes he could take any and all animals he sees home (the lovely cuddly ones anyways LMAOOO).

3. How do they dress? ▷ He dresses like he just fucking got out of bed most of the time. 4. How many languages do they know?

▷ 2- technically, He's fluent in english and knows very little swedish (he's trying).

5. How big is their family? ▷ Just to avoid me going off on an INCREDIBLY draining journey, I'm going to list off only immediate family: He has two parents, Reese and Virginia He has one immediate sister, Jordynn He has three half siblings, Devan, Deliahna and Juniper Devan and Deliahna's Father (Sort of Roo's Step/Half-Dad???) is named Noah and Juniper's Father (also sort of Roo's Step/Half-Dad?????) is named Mateo Roo has a nephew named Evan and a Niece named Josey (Both Jordynns) and he has a Brother in Law named Sean (Jordynn's husband). 6. What is their purpose in the story? ▷ Roo has no purpose, he's intended to just be a character, he's intended to be a character that I do my best to develop as almost real, he will never be real, of course, but I like to treat as though he is, additionally he's meant to show growth, and just letting characters grow and develop flaws, if you read/saw his Roo-seum post, you'd have seen just how different he was 10 years ago RT (Roo's timeline). I mean, 10 years ago RT, he was literally homophobic, and now hes VERY gay. I never intended to make roo grow as much as he has and at the end of the day, hes just a persona who was lucky enough and interesting enough to become his own character. 7. Do they know how to fight? ▷ LMFAO No. 8. What is their back story? ▷ Not typing all that, you can find his backstory (Roo-seum) on the Roo page of my blog. 9. Why is their name, their name? ▷ From a literal sense (why I chose his name), I initially chose Roo as his name, why is that his name? I dont remember. I remember I wanted to also give him a real name, and funnily enough, I REALLY like/d Harvey from SDV, and I LOVE the name Harvey its really cute, so I gave it to Roo. From a lore sense (why Virginia chose his name), when Virginia had Roo, she didn't really GAF what she named him, she was still mourning Reese's death, and she just needed a name to give Roo, and was reminded of when Reese and Her were thinking of boy and girl names, Heather? No, it's a boy. Heath? ...Uhh.. No. Melody? Still a boy. Arthur? That's a silly name (no offense to any Arthurs out there).... Harvey... It was a name that had Reese grinning from ear to ear, She'd never seen him smile that big for a name... besides her own, it was the perfect remnant of Reese. 10. Do they have any nick names? ▷ Yes. Roo. In canon, his siblings call him Harv or Rooey (like kangaroo and joey???.... LMAO), his mom used to call him Havvy as a kid/baby, but now he hates that nickname and sometimes Virginia tries to use it to get him to forgive her for the way she treated him, although he never budges. Some joke nicknames I have given him, is Rookie pookie and if I'm ever making a genderbent Roo I call him "Roo-ella", all of which are not canon names in HIS universe, but are canon names in other universe.

11. Do they have a romantic interest? ▷ uhhhh yes and no, it's complicated, he's only now realizing his feelings for a certain someone. 12. How do they cope with struggles? ▷ he cries, and he vents, he doesnt really know how to cope (in a healthy manner, like seeking therapy or doing stuff to calm him down). 13. Do they have anyone they can lean on? ▷ Yessirrr, He's got Rylan, a friend of his that I STILL need to introduce............ He also has his siblings. 14. How do they react to someone dying? ▷ ???? In sheer horror?? I'd assume he probably would be 1000x more devastated than the average human though cuz he hasn't properly experienced a loss of a loved one (like actual death loss, not like a family member leaving thats a WHOLE different story). 15. Can you name 5 personality traits they have? ▷ Introverted extrovert ("thats just an ambivert!" hes INCREDIBLY introverted, until/unless he gets to know someone who really clicks with him, at which point he becomes super extroverted, and they HAVE to click with him, otherwise he remains relatively introverted, and I do not see that fitting into the ambivert definition) Insecure (in a sense that he doubts a lot of his decisions) Overthinker Very oblivious A daydreamer. 16. How did they become a character? ▷ I don't want to keep explaining this, but in short, he's a persona that is also separately an OC. 17. Do they get along with others? ▷ He's often called charismatic cause hes such an enjoyable person to talk to, he often thinks people dont like talking to him, but thats only because he never fucking talks to people and usually only talks to someone when they initiate conversation. But yes, he does get along with others, even if he denies it. 18. What flaws do they have? ▷ Can't cope in a healthy manner, bad at initiating conversation, mega procrastinator, not super good at emotional control and often isolates himself without letting anybody know, making everybody worried, especially considering his isolation track record. 19. How do they influence the story? ▷ N/A idk cuz his life is the story and i mean like, what he does influences the story LMFAO. 20. What do they look like? ▷ We all know by now but:

21. What are their hobbies? ▷ He likes to game, and as introverted as he can be, he likes to go out to places even if he's not gonna buy something, he likes to take walks, and he likes to just laze around, and ponder. 22. What are their ticks? ▷ Idk he doesn't really have any out of the ordinary ticks, yk, like, he hates homophobic people? and transphobic ppl? So... yea. 23. Do they like children? ▷ No. 24. How do they react to being around wild animals? ▷ He gets super SUPER nervous, but at the same time bubbles with joy cause he loves animals and wants to touch the animal, except hes fucking terrified of getting killed and ends up, of course, not touching said animal. 25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work? ▷ He just wouldn't do the prank to begin with tbh, he's a little bitch like 😭😭 26. Do they have any survival skills? ▷ HAH Nope. 27. Are they more book smart or street smart? ▷ Idk, He's self-taught most of the things he knows, but I guess book smart? 28. How do they get out of a difficult situation? ▷ Roo doesn't even know how to cope in a difficult situation, he's just gonna panic and run around like that one spongebob gif of all the little spongebobs running around with fire everywhere iykyk. 29. Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want? ▷ No- hello?? LMFAO. 30. What music do they enjoy? ▷ Honest to God, he enjoys whatever music I enjoy, not saying this out of laziness, I mean like he, as a character, would genuinely just enjoy the music I enjoy. Although I will say, he'd definitely prefer more somber-esque songs.

31. How do they overcome obstacles? ▷ He just... idk, overcomes them, eventually tho cuz he's a procrastinator (as someone who doesnt know how I overcome my own obstacles, I dont know how to describe overcoming obstacles so this is a difficult question). 32. When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break? ▷ When Roo is faced with a difficult decision, he freezes, or I guess in this case "breaks," he can't really handle the pressure of having to make big decisions and may even just subconsciously/stupidly answer (which is prominent during the Reo sub-plot). 33. Do they have any special powers? ▷ Nope. 34. How do they change throughout the story? ▷ Another situation where I point you towards the Roo-seum and also say that his story IS the story. 35. Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit? ▷ Yes. Him and Rylan are VERY close, they met when Roo was attending College 36. How is their family life? ▷ Pretty fucking messy, you can find pretty much most of your answers in the respective posts of his siblings introduction posts. He fucking hates his Mom for leaving him, however there's two sides to this as Virginia was initially expecting to be caring for Roo with Reese, and didnt expect Reese to die so suddenly and so soon before the birth, depression sucked the life out of her and she progressively became less and less willing to live (she's doing better now, but yeesh), So it wasn't her fault, however Roo still holds a bit of a vendetta just cause she left Jordynn to care for him when she [Jordynn] was 7 He LOVESSS his siblings, except for Juniper. Jordynn raised Roo, Roo has been an off and on translator for Devan (because he cant speak fluent english), and Deli treated Roo as... basically a father since Roo showed much more love and care to her than Noah [her father] or Virginia, and he also got rid of her bullies (not in THAT way, i mean like just got them to stop bullying her) He's a hit or miss with Juniper, as he hasn't heard incredible things about her, but is warming up to her as he learned that she was recovering from her bad habits. 37. Are they likable? ▷ I mean, yea. 38. Are they the hero, or anti-hero? ▷ neither, his story does not involve that kinda stuff LMFAO and even if it did, he'd be neither cuz he'd suck at BEING BOTH 😭. 39. Do they make questionable choices? ▷ All the damn time man, as I reveal certain tidbits of his life (especially with him and leo), you'll really see his questionable decisions come to fruition. 40. How do they become who they are? ▷ Explained in his Roo-seum post 😭😭

41. How was their childhood? ▷ Pretty shitty, because of his Mom, but got better as he was "properly" taken care of by Jordynn. 42. Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over? ▷ He used to be close to Hayden and He did something a little worse than screwed with him/screwed him over. 43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all? ▷ He's kind of like a sponge... I guess? While he may be uncomfortable in different or new situations/environments, he can adapt pretty well, although adapt doesn't necessarily mean comfortable for him, that just means he puts on a silly little autism mask and pretends to be comfortable. 44. How do they speak? Examples - Are they soft spoken, hot heated, vulgar ▷ I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to share my sort of voice claim for Roo, which isn't even that clear cuz I haven't found someone with the perfect voice claim yet but: His voice is a mix of Danny Gonzalez (25%) and Kryoz (75%), with Mr. Click's accent (all of these are youtubers just as a heads up ahdbsj) In general tho, I'd say he's more soft-spoken, he does swear and does get vulgar, but its funny when he does it cuz his voice does not fit the shit that comes outta his mouth sometimes. 45. Are they opposed to violence? ▷ ...Yea?? 46. When is their birthday? ▷ 10/05/95. 47. Are they quick to judge? ▷ Yes, but he usually keeps it to himself, and his judgements are often proven right, but he still prefers not to say it aloud because he feels bad. 48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others? ▷ His condition, otherwise called Piametia (check the linked page if your confused), although its not prominent anymore, he does find it a bit embarrassing, even though people usually find it cool, he doesn't share that bit of his life since it reminds of him when he was bullied. 49. Do they act different around different people? ▷ Every person is another personality for him. 50. Do they enjoy the arts? ▷ Yes. He LOVES art, he wishes he could draw, but as much as he tries, he always ends up getting burnt out and not drawing for several months if not entire years (art [roo] imitates life [me]).

51. Do they like science? ▷ YES. He is SOOOOO obsessed with Science, had he been successful in college and continued his course, he, looking back on it, would've gone with a major in Science (he's flexible and literally would take any area of science except for maybe Entomology). 52. Are they more emotional or logical? ▷ Emotional for sure. 53. How do they deal with their emotions? ▷ He just lets it overcome him and honestly just waits for it to go away or until he forgets he was even feeling that emotion (in regards to negative emotions, for positive emotions, he tends to repress it a bit to not come off as overbearing, but sometimes his bucket of silliness overflows). 54. How do they cope with sadness? ▷ He doesn't. He just gets really sad, lets it consume him and waits for it to go away or until he gets distracted and forgets he was even sad to begin with. 55. What is something they care about? ▷ Probably his apartment, the placement of everything and all his stuff is literally sacred to him, and he hates it when people touches his stuff. 56. Would they die for anyone/anything? ▷ He'd die for his siblings (mayyyyybeee..... not Juniper tho), any day and any hour of the week. 57. What do they do when they are happy? ▷ Listens to music and/or goes out and does stuff/gets stuff done. 58. How would they come across to other characters? Examples- messy, lazy, childish, caring ect ▷ Depends on the character and their personality, but typically charismatic, childish, carefree and maybe even a little bit annoying, but also easy to get along with. 59. Do they have a phrase they use over and over? ▷ "your mom" 👏👏👏👏 60. In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle? ▷ Probably wherever his friends are, but if he doesn't have any friends with him, he's probably in the corners or on the side.

61. Are they comfortable being in a crowded room? ▷ God no. Maybe if he has a friend with him, but the flat answer is just absolutely not. 62. How do they relax? ▷ He likes to walk and just appreciate his surroundings, it's very quiet and somber(?) where he lives, and he views it as cozy where some people would say overgrown, taking in nature is, while cliche, very relaxing for him, otherwise he'll just listen to music or lay on his bed and just do nothing. 63. Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically? ▷ He left marks on Hayden physically and has never fucking regretted it and if anything wishes he left deeper marks. 64. Do they like to dance? ▷ Dancing makes Roo unbelievably uncomfortable, he tries to dance and always gets embarrassed with himself, so dancing is a NO. GO. Unless it's slow dancing and someone guides him. 65. How do they get around their environment? Examples - horses, bike, vehicle ▷ Bus, or just public transportation, he can't fucking drive. 66. What is their pet peeve(s)? ▷ Just your standard pet peeves idk. 67. Do they have a disability? ▷ No. 68. How do they react to getting flowers? ▷ He literally weeps, sobs, cries, and probably would fall to his knees and ball up. 69. Would they ever wear a flower crown? ▷ ABSOLUTELY (his ACNH AU version of himself used to wear a flower crown) 70. Do they like themselves? ▷ So-So, some days he does, some days he doesn't, it really depends on how depressed he is idk.

71. Who do they dislike? ▷ Hayden. 72. What is their motto? ▷ "Different doesn't mean wrong." Considering he literally grew up different from others and always being seen as "wrong," He's began living by that motto after his major depressive episode, and it's been slowly but surely working for him. 73. Do they have any markings on their body? ▷ No?? I mean, freckles I guess? 74. Have they ever been abused? ▷ Yes. Sexually. I will not elaborate further, that's for another post on another day. 75. What is their biggest fear? ▷ Having what happened to him (referring to the previous question) before, happen again. 76. What are their goals? ▷ Just be a cool little guy idk LMFAO. 77. How do they go about achieving their goals? ▷ By being a cool little guy (i dont know how to set goals if you couldnt tell). 78. Do they have a fight or flight response? ▷ He has flight and then immediately freeze. 79. Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves? ▷ Probably Deliahna, he loves her like no other. 80. How would they fair in zombie apocalypse? ▷ He would not fair in an apocalypse, he would be frozen in fear and balled up, and would never be able to un-ball himself (this is not counting AU versions of Roo, this is only applicable to CANON Roo).

81. Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant? ▷ Nope. 82. Are they good at mental math? ▷ Uhhhhh No. Not at all. Despite the fact that he's doing a lot better now, he's still bad at managing his own mental health, he tends to forget about self-care, like eating meals at proper times, and getting laundry done. 83. Do they get along with others? ▷ I feel like I answered this already, but yes he does, although he doesn't feel like it, thats mainly cuz he overthinks and assumes they just hate him. 84 Are they lazy? ▷ No, he's pretty active (surprising.) and is pretty stingy on the cleanliness of his apartment, especially after his MASSIVE strike of depression. 85. Are they self motivated? ▷ I'd say yes and no, it's hard to explain, but he's often motivated by himself, but being motivated by others will get himself to motivate himself even more if that makes sense. 86. How do they cope with anger? ▷ He physically releases the anger, usually by punching something, but if he can't punch something, he'll just let the rage boil inside of him til he blows over, he has poor anger control. 87. Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless? ▷ He has been in one situation where he's felt helpless, which was he was sexually assaulted. 88. Are they organized or messy? ▷ An interesting mix of both, his apartment is VERY cluttered but in a almost in a nice organized way? 89. Can they remember a lot of information at once? ▷ Not really, He'd get to pre-occupied trying to remember whats currently being said to him to remember what was initially said to him 90. What is their occupation? ▷ Whatever fucking job he can find LMFAO

91. Do other characters respect your OC, if so, is it out of fear? Or do they respect your OC because they like them? ▷ The latter. He doesn't like it when people are scared of him, it actually makes him really sad. 92. If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? ▷ He would text Leo about how he truly feels about him. 93. How do they deal with stress? ▷ He doesn't. Stress often consumes him, and the only thing he really does to deal with stress is just... ignore it... or in some cases actually do the thing he needs to do to alleviate the stress (like turning something in) 94. Do they have a more submissive or dominate personality type? ▷ I don't know, look at this and tell me what you think.

95. Do they have a pet? ▷ His ass cannot afford to keep a pet, nor does his apartment complex allow him to own a pet (a big one anyways like a cat or dog) 96. Do they have a stash of weapons? ▷ wtf no 😭 97. Where do they live? Who do they live with? ▷ He lives in a small town with a couple of apartment complexes (idk the actual location, but Washington ig idk), and he lives in said apartment complexes, he does not live with anyone. 98. How do they calm themselves down? ▷ He cries and cries (or does whatever hes doing) until he gets distracted and forgets he was even upset to begin with. 99. Are they co-dependent? ▷ He relies on himself mostly and doesn't really find himself needing someone (at least in a co-dependent way?), mainly cuz he's always been single and hasn't had a partner (or friend) close enough to become co-dependent of them. 100. Are they a day, or night person? ▷ Night person for sure.

If you made it this far and would like to do this, feel free to tag me i LOVEEEE reading this of people's sims/ocs!!

#i initially tried to colorcode this but tumblr hates me and it was so wack #IntervootheRoo #100 and counting questions for Roo #Roo #100 oc questions #oc #my oc #oc interview #simblr #ts4 #ts4 simblr #sims 4 #sims 4 simblr #the sims 4

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blackvail22 · 5 months

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bro i have been sick as hell these past few days

took a covid test and, well, i have covid!!

the first time ever, too

and now, in about 6 hours from now, i have to call my job and tell them that

I. FEEL. SO. BAD.

i know its not my fault im sick, but we only have, like, one person to replace me... and if he cant work, what then? i think there is a new person, but im the associate that trains people, too. who is going to train her?

i keep writing the script of what im going to say in my head. i keep going over it over n over... nothing seems quite right...

its so difficult to talk to my store manager, too. i mean, im socially awkward in general, but she doesnt respond in ways i can expect? and its difficult to read her facial expressions (if she has any at all), so it stresses me out. i cant understand her lol

and thats not her fault...

but i have to call off (again), but this time, its for five days. oooh my god.

i might just ask to talk to my assistant store manager, but i know shes usually busy when shes not mod... and shes stressed out enough lol

im going to SOB

i think my fear of not being believed is taking a part in my anxiety, too, since my mom never believed i was sick while growing up (i was sick so much it caused me to have a disease in my tonsils and severe sinus issues and allergies) so, i mean!!

everything always ends up back to my mom

kinda crazy

kinda... sad.

off topic, but i find it difficult to talk about my dad to my sister, specifically in a... bad way. shes so close to him that she wont see much, if any, wrong in him, so its generally hopeless lol

like, my dad has always had favoritism towards my sister. he showed up to everything for my sister and paid full attention to it. me? nahh. he'd go *sometimes* or if he had to take me, but he wont pay attention.

it makes me sad that i never really had a parent i could go to. i guess i go to my dad, now, but its not the same. its not. i still have this uncomfortable feeling towards him. or, like, he isnt my dad. i dont know. i just see him in a different light now... idk how to explain it

how did it go from me having covid to me being anxious abt telling my boss to me having daddy issues?

woah

i need to take my concentration medication LMAO

its 2:18am on december 2nd, 2023.

i am v much not okay! and thats okay

i just wish i get some actual sleep and i stop fucking coughing

oh, and for my boyfriend to text me back when he wakes up instead just reacting with a heart to my message

goodnight!

update: i got decent sleep, im not coughing as much, AND my boyfriend texted me back. didnt expect that to happen lmao

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myescapediary · 9 months

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2 month update:

I don’t be planning to do 2 month updates lmao but anyways reading my last update shit has changed.. where do I begin??

J: I said said I was going to cut him off lmaoo.. we still talk here and there but honestly I stopped caring after the 2nd week. I am just living life as he is too, whateverrr

School: I am taking two summer classes and its been pretty rough. I am here 4 times a week and it’s been hard keeping up specially since i'm not as motivated. I failed my first quiz since I was too focused on my other exam which i got like a 78%. I am not used to these lows scores so it makes me less motivated but my parents are paying for this so I need ro get my shit together.

“friend group”: I went to see drake yesterday with jacob and ,jz, eddie my sister and joseph were there as well just different seating. It was so much fun, although i was pretty disappointed for the seating asn the amount of money I paid but yolo. I mentioned on my last post how we were taking a trip around my bday.. sooo turns out I was but then my internship begins and I cant make it now, I really don't care tbh, i need to be smart and save money. I just hope to take a trip at least when I graduate.

I texted Naz, and he never replied, i don't blame jim lmao or maybe he just changed his number??

DV: either the first or second week that j left, I seen dv at the club and just last week I went to his house and couple strokes happened thats all LMAOO but yeah since he slides up on my stories and stuff lolz.He always mentions if i'm going to be his plus one for the wedding & I am trying to get myself invited to that wedding fr. He was talking about some , “ur always cheating on me” like broooo ur even worseeee. I just hate that hes such a whoreeeeee.

Omar; so omarr slid up on my story and turns out we might be going out w Alexis sometimeeeee (:, about fucking time bruuuu. I miss my friend.

Overall, life been ok. I just need to get my shir together with school, save money and just let shit be and enjoy life day by day.

So today in the morning my bitch ass dog bit me and my lips are so swollen, i had to wear a mask to school. I am now in class sitting here writing this instead of writing down notes LOL. Need to get my shit together fr.

Mon, july 24th, 2023

11:52am

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loveissilentlyworthit · 1 year

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I made peace with my girl, how did it go? I accidentally forwarded a meme to her while I was chatting with another person on whatsapp, I saw a single tick as I was late to delete it but I was thinking if it was a single tick it wouldn't be delivered straight to her, but I was wrong, it does deliver.

So she told me "Yes, what's wrong?" and I tried to shake it off saying it's nothing I accidentally forwarded meme pic to you but I deleted it thinking it won't deliver but it does. But then she said "Oh okay, I thought you wanted to say something to me again" So I texted her this:

Yeah, also, its been months we haven't spoke to each other, to be fair I do want to apologize in my end in the bottom of my heart sebelum ni ada salah silap etc.

I admit I'm still upset about the ghosting part but I let that slide, we cool now (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

But then she brushed it off easily because it's in the past and she doesn't want to think about it anymore and told me I miss her. Yes, I do, but I'm not at the moment that I want to reinstate our couple again, but reinstate as normal friends. We told each other how we are but we're fine and dandy all and I got a job that pays well even though I slack off, yeah you know me.

I asked her a question what's stronger than a Joker card, but she doesn't know, can't blame her since she doesn't play her PS4 very often for P5R because of her work with her sister as assistant cake baker.

Then I showed off that I got my Kasumire and Ai-Ho figurine to her, she's impressed with it and even shocked about the price and she's concerned how I spent my money, aww how cute lmao, but I told her it's my money and passion so no worries I know what I'm doing.

Even after I made peace with my ex I'll only talk to her again when things are cooling down as the only thing I can do is to meet her in person especially I talked to a few people that know about my ex about the ghosting part. But it's in the past right now so I believe people can change. To be fair in a couple, it's both of our faults, let's say one did not maintain a stable wealth, and the latter did not maintain a loyal and loving relationship, even the other latter showed all of his love to her and remained committed.

But this time, I'm done making moves. I had too many bonding losses in my life, even my friends or my family members keep telling me when will I ever get married (not to mention the barber asking me those thinking I still have a chance, no, you don't know me), as no matter how much you want to matchmake me to whichever girl you want me to, my standards for a girl still remains the same (I want a girl who is like another version of me that I can relate, as I can relate then I am finally in love to her, though at the same time I try to explain this people will try to twist what I said or try to change what I said but I'm gonna say this, only I can understand and know what works for me and is best for me) and I will never lower my standards to get a certain girl and then be complete just like that, it never works that way. I don't mind what race my future girl comes from because I'm open for all.

There's more I'm not complete yet about myself. I need to get my driving license, live myself or with roommates in an apartment/house while paying water/power/internet bills, food/supplies, taxes and everything I want to live for my own responsibility. I can't rely on my parents all the time to feed me every week for food and supplies.

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allysuunnnninwonderlandcx · 2 years

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High thoughts/friends! 9/23

I really do have some cool people in my life. even if we all went separate ways at the end of the day, we would always be attached at the hip.

I use to think you couldn't trust anyone, no matter what and who they are and meant to you. my family did this to me. trusting them was like trusting a wild predator to be fully tameable..it can switch at a dime. (ex. Grody from that good ass movie NOPE). my family was and are the prediors, and how I preserved the world was to see everyone as a predator.

But there are also the prey of the world. I see the prey are those that are weak minded and scared to speak and think for themselves. now Tumblr, dont get me wrong..I can have my times where I am to scared to speak out for myself, but when I do, im never afraid, im confident, im strong, I am that bitch, and I fucking know it. so that makes me a predator..

BUT ANYWAYS..MY FRIENDS.. they shall be named kiya and Salem. Kiya, I have known since she was young and I was in 5th grade. our moms were great friends for a while until, my mother..the predator, does what she does and doesn't allow herself to trust anyone decides she can't trust her mother, and removes her from her life. theres no " hard feelings" she says to me whenever I ask about it, but why remove her from the beginning. it allows Kiyas mom to think im JUST like you. I dont want to be just like you..I never have.. but anyways, she's grown to be like the annoying smart ass little sister I always wanted. she is funny, she is tall, she is smart, she is annoying at times, and mostly I love her man. she is one of the best people to ever come in my life... now lets get to Salem... Salem is someone I met in high school my senior year when she was an 8th grader. she is funny, she is smart, she is very very smart, she has a great sense of humor, and she is probably the best out of our trio. Salem, is very quite when she is in a group. she reminds me of Elliots brother more or less. and I love his brother(Nick). but Salem, is just so outgoing when she feels very very very comfortable. I adore them.

to go go back to the past.. I had a lot of friends that really came and go. most would say. it say my fault as to why they left( well some are.. I also played a big role in my own deterioration of my mental health..which I think I will tell you guys about the two people that read me so hardd...I changed EVERYTHING...but that's for another time!), but most I grew to see they real motivates, or I just grew up. I know some people say friends are everything and they can and will always be there.. but a lot of the time, the people I called bestfriends, where never there for me after I was there for them through it all. I know I know..it sounds to be good to be true, but I am so serious! some people I was friends with, would call or text me when they needed me. like their were bored, they were having relationship bullshit, etc. and. I would drop everything for these people. it was not a smart move on my end, but whatever. and there were times where I was at my absolute worse, and they wouldn't reply for days, or be to busy for me. and I get it people have lives, but its just not...right or far when its evertime I needed them. I learned to back down and remove myself slowly. get and give distance. and you know, people would assume they did something wrong and it just faded away. no one really confronted me. but when it did happen they usually wouldn't step to me because...yeah im kinda crazy lmao. but it wasn't always my fault.

dont get me wrong. I miss some of these people, but I am so happy to have found my tribe. Salem, Kiya and Elliot(that's all you know for now. there are a few more people I gotta introduce!)

0 notes

iwantlarry · 2 years

Text

Ugh anons on Tumblr scare me now lmao 😂 like we get it lmao 😂😂😂😂 but now that everyone's miserable all of sudden lmao 😂😂😂 let's not pretend to be stupid lmao 😂😂😂😵😂 it's funny getting exposed lmao 😂😂😂😵 into being oh so happy lmao 😂😂😵😂 what makes me laugh the most is that it's funny to laugh lmao 😂😂 in a very funny way lmao 😂😂😂 funny to me then hysterical now lmao 😂😂 I'm like huh lmao 😂😂😵 i wondered if internalized traumas lead to horrible decisions lmao 😂🤌😂 it's like the Bible lmao 😂🤌 or something lmao 😂🤌😂 but not in o gods not real lmao 😂🤌😂 it's like in a oh lmao 😂🤌 life's real and it don't stop lmao 😂😂 for no one lmao 😂🤌😂 ugh and now we're gon a get the brunt end of bad decisions lmao 😂🤌 its like everyones the age they always stayed in lmao 😂🤌 but man to be overexposed os the worst lmao 😂🤌😂 oh big whoop lmao 😂🤌😂 only the truth will prevail lmao 😂🤌😂 i have to laugh lmao 😂🤌🤘 nope not even an over exaggerated way lmao 😂 just to funny to make up lmao 😂😆😂 ugh what a time to be alive lmao 😂😹😂 funny nah mad annoying lmao 😂😂 now everyone better sat happy birthday Liam lmao 😂 he's gone be 30 nah 29 lmao 😂🤌😂 bro why paint y'all self's to be older lmao 😂🤌😂 like it's funny lmao 😂😂 now im tired lmao 😂🤌😂 it's 2 am lmao 😂🤌😂 and ots the best birthday ive had in years lmao 😂🤌😂 and I didn't get drunk lmao 😂🤌😂 just heard the drunk stories from my sister and man it aint good over there lmao 😂🤌 I'm just hoping when that fat bitch Karina goes to prison they get her good 👍😤👍 now theure trying to blame my tias friend conchita in saying that she could of stopped hok fr getting murdered by his mom yeah 👍 special place in hell for her and I can't wait to hear the Storys about her suffering in prison for life 🧬🥺🥺 definitely been to sad 😭 and hopefully praying she'll never set a foot out ever again 😤🥰🥰 like he was only 7 you guys and she's looking at 90 to life and all my dumbass cousins still on that dumb shit lmao 😂😂 it's like bro can y'all stfu lmao 😂😂 an quit doing drugs lmao 😂🤌😂 at least take care of ur body's before you end up worse lmao 😂🤌😂 like damn it lmao 😂 family to dramatic call me Dr dream lmao 😂😂 and it's not just the family now theyre having kids lmao 😂 an im like huh lmao 😂🤌😂 more shitty people in the family for what lmao 😂😂 oh but bo that their grown with kids its everyone else's fault lmao 😂 like bro whoa fault was it being shitty kids lmao 😂🤌😂 yalls fault lmao 😂🤌😂 oh but too cool lmao 😂😂 nah it wanst funny then to our parents an now its worse off for yall lmao 😂😂😂 its like wow honoring ur parents os the way to be blessed by god himself idk who said lmao 😂😂😂 oh but you can't taje it back lmao 😂😂 oh ok lmao 😂😂 but keeping up pretenses also makes u a dumbass lmao 😂🤌😂 oh well lmao 😂😂 ugh 😩😫 it's to funny I can't even make it up lmao 😂🤌😂 I have to laugh lmao 😂🤌 like huh lmao 😂🤌😂 oh but so changed ya cuando weyes lmao 😂🤌😂 5 kids in an ur still miserable lmao 😂🤌😂 to late now lmao 😂🤌 ugh it's to funny I can't even like log off lmao 😂🤌 it really is who's the drama me nah lmao 😂🤌😂 I'm to not fake I'll never be able to fake anything lmao 😂🤌😂 but I'll pray lmao 😂🤌 but gah damn I won't forget lmao 😂🤌😂 an that's on the real god lmao 😂🤌 oh so cute nah lmao 😂🤌😂 silent judgements lmao 😂 in not bitter way lmao 😂 in I'll laugh lmao 😂🤌😂 later lmao 😂🤌 ugh and this is why i never posted on Tumblr since I made one lmao 😂🤌 ugh 😩😫 man god is real and im glad people came to their senses quick lmao 😂🤌😂 embarrassing yeah lmao 😂🤌 but idgaf lmao 😂🤌😂 I'll laugh to their faces lmao 😂🤌😂 like huh lmao 😂🤌 i knew it lmao 😂😂 misread your text lmao 😂 no 😂😂 i gotta laugh with how fake everyone is lmao 😂🤌 now they can't even be mad lmao 😂🤌 promise I won't judge but fuck it's funny to me now lmao 😂🤌😂😂 now twitter is on to me and that's never good lmao 😂🤌😂 how I get trolls before most people got fame lmao 😂🤌 i have to laugh lmao 😂🤌😂 like huh lmao 😂🤌😂

0 notes

delicrieux · 3 years

Text

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”.

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing. word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie: y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!”

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

queen rly went from 🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing.

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.”

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall.

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets.

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout.

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

#corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse x y/n #myso #make you say oh #imagine #imagines

952 notes · View notes

batfamtv · 3 years

Text

me after writing smut: is this who i am? is this who i represent? lmao i've never written smut until trese, i guess the thirst was too much, let me know how y'all like it! thank you so much for all your support, ily <3

(ﾉ´ з `)ノ

kambal x reader; established relationship

gif by @rasputinaillyanna (see their original gifsets here!)

sfw

the three idiots

seriously, alexandra feels like she keeps aging 20+ years whenever you three are together and goofing around

this is one of the reasons why you’re not allowed on the field with them, they’d get absolutely nothing done

that, and the twins simply wont put you in danger under any circumstances

alexandra also treats you like a sister (in law) and wants you safe, but can only do so much to keep you out of their lives since you still find ways to help them out

absolutely rowdy when you’re with basilio, you and him practically have a lot of inside jokes and a secret language

people would give you both weird looks when you’re out in public, just because you’re both so damn loud

with crispin you’re more mature (but not a lot), he does these grand gestures like taking you out on expensive dates, takes instagram/pinterest style pics of you

basilio also takes pics of you, but those are some of the most unflattering ones that he sends to your groupchat as memes

the ppl who arent familiar with your relationship with the twins are almost often confused when they see you with just the one twin: they’d think “huh i saw this couple a week ago, but i could have sworn the boyfriend had much shorter hair, it couldn’t have grown that long in a week, right?”

when you do go out with the twins, they flank you and you almost get squished in between them, so sometimes you have to push them both to the sides so that you would have space to move around

the three of you like to just chill at the mall sometimes, go window shopping and then eat samgyup/mang inasal later on

other times when you manage to drag alexandra with you, people would assume that you guys are on a double date, and alexandra has the ugliest/most disgusted look on her face as she corrects them “these are my brothers” “im gay”

in your groupchat (just you and the twins) crispin is the sweet, doting one who would text you “have you eaten?” “want us to pick something up for you on the way home?” while basilio sends you memes and selfies of the twins

they send you videos and pics of pets they meet “today we met brownie and blackie”

with regards to living arrangements, the twins have separate rooms (basilio’s is the messy one, smells weird)

when you moved in, alexandra offered you your own room, and most of the time that’s where the boys stay anyway

the bed is much larger than theirs because it needs to accommodate all three of you

you three try to cook meals for ate alexandra, but it almost always turns out disastrous - mostly when basilio insists on helping

so you always make him run errands (“can you go pick up some more garlic and magic sarap”) while you and crispin man the stoves

you braid basilio’s hair while crispin tunes his guitar!!

and you spend a couple of hours listening to crispin play the guitar, basilio’s head now resting on your lap

crispin’s movie taste are like *film* and *poetic cinema* while basilio might enjoy movies that are so bad they’re good, but you three are all suckers for superhero ensemble movies and horror movies

the boys become really annoying when watching filipino horror movies because they like to point out mistakes in the film “aswangs dont do that” “why would you go there all alone are you stupid???”

“please boys i just wanna watch the movie”

a huge cuddle pile

both boys run hot, so during cold nights (that never happen, bc you live in the philippines) you’re all warm and toasty between them

both light sleepers! they were pretty heavy sleepers when they were kids/teenagers, but the occupational hazard of their jobs require them to be ready at a moment’s notice

they still, however, snore quite loudly

crispin doesn’t ever tend to move positions when sleeping, he wakes up in the same position he fell asleep in

basilio rotates around the bed like hands of a clock

most often falls off the bed, but clumsily climbs back up and cuddles you

really really simpy when it comes to you, though most of the time it’s just you three sharing one brain cell (it’s with you, mostly), they can be quite romantic and cheesy if they want to

crispin probably has his brother as just “Basilio” on his phone, and “Y/N ❤️" for you

basilio has “my love ❤️😍😘💘 ” for you and crispin’s number isn’t even registered lol

nsfw under the cut

nsfw

threesome? threesome

boys barely do anything separately and usually just have a Single Thought in both their heads, so if one is horny, the other one is 69% (lol) horny as well

you realize that crispin doesn’t like to be teased at work, but basilio enjoys it so much

you find this out when you’re alone and horny, so you send a pic of you touching yourself to the boys in your groupchat

crispin sees it first, but doesn’t say anything?? he honest to god just left you on read

meanwhile basilio also sees your pic not too long after and you quickly get a “what the fuck” as a reply from him

like 10 mins later he sends you a pic of him in what looks like a washroom and his cock is straining in his pants

he texts you “had to find a washroom so fucking fast so that ate alex and the police captain doesn’t see me so fucking hard in my pants” and “wanna eat you pussy babe”

crispin does text you when the three are on their way home, not mentioning the picture you sent “we’re on our way home”

and at first you thought he is mad at you bc he didn’t bring the nude up?? does he not want you anymore :(

but the moment they arrive crispin all but sprints to your shared bedroom and sees you there, in your underwear

holds your cheeks in one hand, “what the fuck was that baby, hmm? what did you send us?”

you try to ask if he’s mad bc you sent him a nude, ask him if there’s anything wrong, but he just lets your face go as he takes his suit off, basilio finds his way to your room, locks it, and gives you a kiss

basilio whispers “missed you baby” against your mouth before moving away to undress

crispin, now fully naked in front of you, makes you suck his cock, which is hard and twitching, its tip leaking with precum, he makes you place both his hands on your head, “do you know how surprised i was when i saw a text from you and it’s a picture of you touching your cunt? hmm?” he sighs as he sees you looking up at him, eyes watering as you struggle to take all of his cock down your throat “i had to stop myself from getting hard in front of everyone, baby, basilio couldn’t even do that”

basilio huffs but the boys reposition you so you’re in bed and on your back, crispin kneeling to your side, his cock still throbbing in your mouth, basilio positions himself between your thighs, moaning when he sees how wet you are

basilio removes your panties before rushing to sniff your cunt, groaning in delight--you’re sure his eyes roll to the back of his head before he dives into your cunt

you moan into crispin’s cock and he grunts, shoving more of his cock into your mouth, now moving faster, “i really wanna cum down your throat baby, would you let me?”

you nod and he pushes his cock all the way into your mouth, your nose practically touching his groin and pubes

you gag, for a moment panicked as you try to breathe in, while crispin just eyes you, his cock growing ever harder when he looks at your face wet with tears and drool, he grabs your hair, softly at first, to make sure you’re okay, and when you nod crispin groans as he sets up his pace, groaning as he feels his orgasm building

basilio, meanwhile, is licking and sucking your clit with three fingers knuckles deep in your cunt, and when he starts to feel you spasming, a telltale sign that your orgasm is approaching, he pulls his mouth and fingers out and quickly replacing them with his fat cock

immediately, you and basilio both groan, your eyes roll to the back of your head as you feel yourself so full of cock

basilio curses under his breath before taking your legs and resting them against his shoulders “fuck, y/n, im sorry i’m not gonna last long” “your pussy got me so fucking hard you tasted so good baby, you know how much i love your little pussy, right?”

crispin groans at this before he pulls his cock out of your mouth, leaning down to kiss you, he then moves down your neck and your tits, making sure he marks your chest

basilio whimpers and thrusts three more times before releasing a long groan, his cum exploding deep in your pussy “fuck baby you feel so good” he manages to pull out and you see his cock wet with his cum and your juices before settling beside you, panting harshly

you barely had the type to recuperate before crispin flips you on your stomach, making sure your face is resting on the pillows before he thrusts into you with a grunt

“fuck, still a tight little pussy after basilio rammed your cunt, huh?”

your eyes rolling, you couldnt do much other than hold onto the sheets and basilio’s hand, moaning loudly when you feel crispin’s fingers on your clit

“can you take one more, y/n? can your pussy take one more load?”

speechless, you nod, trying to grind your ass against crispin’s hips, but his hands on your hips hold you firm

he grunts approvingly, “good baby, take it deep in your pussy okay? and cum on my cock, baby, i wanna feel it”

you cum on his cock, almost violently, and twins groan at the sound of your moaning, and the sight of you spasming and shaking on crispin’s cock

a couple of deep thrusts later, crispin also cums deep into your pussy, his cum now mixed with basilio’s

crispin moves to get a washcloth to clean the three of you up, before all three of you collapse in bed, huddled together, basilio with his arms wrapped from behind--already falling asleep, you rest your head against crispin’s arm

“so, no more nudes when you’re at work?”

crispin laughs softly before pressing a kiss on your forehead, “unless your cunt is ready to take two cocks at once, no nudes when we’re at work”

#trese #trese the kambal #trese imagine #crispin #crispin x reader #basilio #basilio x reader #bftvtrese

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skyeventide · 3 years

Text

my trsb fic has so many notes to the text that they didn’t fit within the ao3 notes’ section character limit lmao, so here is the lengthier version of it. you can consider it a teaser I guess? but either way, I need some place to store these and link them back in the fic.

contents here, cut for length

on the matter of the mother of Gil-Galad

Celebrimbor’s names

shibbolething all over Thauron’s name

actual quotes and canon

On the matter of the mother of Gil-Galad

Meril-i-Turinqi is a Book of Lost Tales character, lady of Tol Eressea, kin of In(g)we but also similar to the Solosimpi, which is to say the Teleri.

The character of "Meril" on the other hand, is a proto-Amarie, Finrod's love interest. In the early draft of Meril's appearance, Finrod is married and is father of Gil-Galad: this draft is obviously discarded and Finrod becomes childless, while Meril transforms into Amarie, who does not join the exile. Gil-Galad is instead transferred to Orodreth, which iirc is Tolkien's last word on the matter (I don't count the Fingon thing as even canon-adjacent, ChrisT was quite clear in admitting the mistake). Now I recall Orodreth is said to be married to a Sinda; why did I discard that? Cause I initally forgot it. Rip to me and Orodreth.

However, what I had was: a proto-Amarie, who is a Vanya, and a BoLT character who is of the family of Ingwe (so a Vanya), but also like the Teleri (so of the third clan, even though not a Sinda). And so Meril-proto-Amarie became Meril-i-Turinqi, wife of Orodreth.

The full headcanon on Meril here would have her as daughter of a Vanya who is kin of Ingwe and of Telerin nobility (or royalty? they're all big on intermarrying between royal families), which fulfills both sides of the coin and also stays true to the statement that Elenwe is the sole full-Vanya to join the exile (I'm gonna assume this excludes any non-royalty followers). Now regarding the parentage of Orodreth, he is here son of Angrod, as I feel that is a better option in almost all respects. This poses some issues with regard to age, as I recall Orodreth-son-of-Angrod and Idril as being named the only two non-adults to do the journey to ME (again... this surely excludes any non-royalty youngsters, but nonetheless). Obviously these issues grow even further if one also includes the matter of Celebrimbor being Aman-born to a wife who doesn't follow Curufin (and therefore the matter of his age at the time of exile), but reconciling these versions is borderline impossible with how the origins of Celebrimbor keep changing throughout the conception of the legendarium.

Long story short, I up the age of Orodreth to be at least old enough to speak softly with Finarfin (here his grandfather) during the flight of the Noldor, but I have him already married though childless. Finduilas is born early into the exile and Gil-Galad is her younger brother.

Meril returns to Aman at the end of the First Age and rules Tol Eressea for the exiles who are stuck there until the Ban is fully lifted.

Celebrimbor's names

FN = father-name, MN = mother-name

I do not claim to have come up with "Tyelperinquar is an epesse", that headcanon, which nonetheless I'm sure happened separately for other people, is one I first read in a fic by Tyelperintal on AO3. That of course means that I could no longer go with the FN Curufinwe MN Tyelperinquar option, and needed another mother-name, which I also borrowed from the same story, and went for Ilvanon, "the perfect". It's pretty, and also speaks of a mix of high expectations and love.

What in this story made me accept the epesse headcanon is the matter of the origin of "T(y)elperinquar" as a name. Vinyar Tengwar (and most recently also NoME) explains how "silver fist" is a name common among the Teleri, famous for their ability to smith silver even among the Noldor, and it is also mentioned how other similar names, such as Tegilbor "calligrapher", are given to people based on their skill. This, however, directly contradicts the fact that elves don't give the same name to more than one person. That statement is problematic in itself (impossible that all elves across all time are aware of all names that ever have been used -- and also of course there's the usual royalty exceptions, that however may well be exceptions because they are royalty), but if it is a common name among the Teleri and we are to keep the duplicate names lore in mind... my only solution is that it's a coveted epesse, given to the very skilled.

Celebrimbor picks it as his chosen and preferred name over FN, already shared by two people and preferred as chosen name by his father, and the potential arrogance of picking his MN with its meaning.

This still led me to problems of both spelling and language choices.

As far as spelling goes, there's several variations. I'm marking with * the one that is not canonically attested, but can be inferred.

Pure Telerin: Telperimpar

Quenya-Telerin compound that maintains the Telerin spelling of silver: Telperinquar

As above, but shortened: Telpinquar

Pure Quenya: *Tyelperinquar

Pure Quenya, shortened: Tyelpinquar

I use all these except the last one at various stages: I decided (though I go back and forth on this) that his household might have used pure Quenya, and his mother sticks to it; the person in Tirion panicks and uses the shortened version Telpinquar, which together with Telperinquar (Telerin spelling maintained) was more common among the Noldor. The Tirion passage exemplifies the uses and applications of these names, how they were given and altered.

This leads me to problems of language and POV, Celebrimbor vs Tyelperinquar. His mother, in her POV, always uses the latter, but Celebrimbor himself uses the former. The true problem here was adapting my feeling that Celebrimbor would be far more used to thinking of himself as Celebrimbor (as opposed to the Quenya name) vs Tolkien's statement that elves do not use names in another language when speaking in X language. This doesn't stay wholly true through the legendarium and the texts, so it's something I've decided to partially ignore when it comes to POV, though I tend to stick to it in first person dialogue. Something that again I try to tackle in the text itself -- when Galadriel tells Celebrimbor which language to speak and which name to use for her.

I am not entirely satisfied with all my choices here and I might revisit them in the future, but for the moment, here we go.

Shibbolething all over Thauron's name

Another language and spelling headache. As I encountered the problem of Sauron, I encountered that of the spelling of his name: the eternal TH/S issue. Were I to have Celebrimbor's mother, and Celebrimbor himself, stick to the Shibboleth? I initially attempted to circumvent this by using Gorthaur, but the issue described just above, about mixing languages, yet again bit me in the ass.

Of course it comes down to characterisation: would Mrs Curufin stick to the Shibboleth, and would Celebrimbor? The matter with Celebrimbor was that I don't believe he spoke Quenya with any real frequency after the Nargothrond business, not as a choice but rather due to circumstances and preferences of those around him. With Ercasse, the conflict is part of the character, and that sadly meant that the TH/S choice became less of a personal choice and more of a political one, as usual.

That got me thinking about the circumstances around her and something interesting came to me: Finarfin spoke Quenya with the Shibboleth, because of the Teleri. And in the Darkening he becomes king in Tirion, and also has to adjust things with the Teleri -- not an easy task, imo, when he turns back only after the pronunciation of the Doom, and not just after the kinslaying occurred. Additionally, the Vanyar spoke preserving TH. Additionally x2, by the Fourth Age, Exilic Quenya (which uses S) is associated with those who rebelled and returned to Aman -- meanwhile any Sindar preserved TH naturally, as it's a sound that never went out of use in Sindarin.

So I chose to take these things and make something of it. If Finarfin maintains TH to keep the Telerin influence; if the Noldor who remain in Aman decide to step closer to the Vanyar in an anti-rebellion reactionary manner and to conform to the speech of the king; if Exilic Quenya gains the lower status of language of the exiles; and considering the canon fact that in later ages the elves are more likely to preserve language rather than change it -- what are our chances that Shibbolething gains opposite connotations as time passes? My conclusion was high chances. So I decided to implement it.

And so Ercasse doesn't have to think about her personal allegiances anymore and has a path built in for herself in these social changes. And Sauron is Thauron. (Unless Galadriel is talking: she doesn't Shibboleth, and uses “Sauron” and “Sindarin”.)

Quotes and canon

Many things I wrote are based on canon snippets. Here I tried to collect them.

On Celebrimbor and the mention of the bath of flames in his speech. It isn't, in fact, a corny lineage reference, but rather a metaphysical or pseudo-physical concept of purification from the Lost Tales:

Yet now the prayers of [their parents] came even to Manwe [the highest Valar], and the Gods had mercy on their unhappy fate, so that those twain Turin and Nienori entered into ... the bath of flame... and so were all their sorrows and stains washed away, and they dwelt as shining Valar among the blessed ones, and now the love of that brother and sister is very fair;

On the naming of Mithril (appears in the upcoming Nature of Middle Earth, as well as already published in Vinyar Tengwar):

[Celebrimbor] was a great silver-smith, and went to Eregion attracted by the rumours of the marvellous metal found in Moria, Moria-silver, to which he gave the name mithril.

On Celebrimbor's ambition and assorted choices, from Letter 131:

In the first we see a sort of second fall or at least ‘error’ of the Elves. There was nothing wrong essentially in their lingering against counsel, still sadly with the mortal lands of their old heroic deeds. But they wanted to have their cake without eating it. They wanted the peace and bliss and perfect memory of ‘The West’, and yet to remain on the ordinary earth where their prestige as the highest people, above wild Elves, dwarves, and Men, was greater than at the bottom of the hierarchy of Valinor. They thus became obsessed with 'fading’, the mode in which the changes of time (the law of the world under the sun) was perceived by them. They became sad, and their art (shall we say) antiquarian, and their efforts all really a kind of embalming – even though they also retained the old motive of their kind, the adornment of earth, and the healing of its hurts. […] But many of me Elves listened to Sauron. He was still fair in that early time, and his motives and those of the Elves seemed to go partly together: the healing of the desolate lands. Sauron found their weak point in suggesting that, helping one another, they could make Western Middle-earth as beautiful as Valinor. It was really a veiled attack on the gods, an incitement to try and make a separate independent paradise.

Legolas and Aragorn and my choice to use the word love:

"[...]Yet whatever is still to do, I hope to have a part in it, for the honour of the folk of the Lonely Mountain." "And I for the folk of the Great Wood," said Legolas, "and for the love of the Lord of the White Tree [Aragorn]."

Celebrimbor and the Elessar. It must be noted that this Celebrimbor is not Celebrimbor son of Curufin, but I still liked the tidbit of lore. From there my choice to have three different Elessar stones, one made by Feanor, one by Enerdhil of Gondolin, one by Celebrimbor (in the fic redressed to Celebrimbor son of Curufin, and without the romantic love for Galadriel):

But he did not say to Galadriel that he himself was of Gondolin long ago. Therefore he took thought, and began a long delicate labour, and so for Galadriel he made the greatest of his works (save the Three Rings only).And it is said that more subtle and clear was the green gem that he made than that of Enerdhil, but yet its light had less power. For whereas that of Enerdhil was lit by the Sun in its youth, already many years had passed ere Celebrimbor began his work, and nowhere in Middle-earth was the light as clear as it had been, for though Morgoth had been thrust out into the Void and could not enter again, his far shadow lay upon it.Radiant nonetheless was the Elessar of Celebrimbor; and he set it within a great brooch of silver in the likeness of an eagle rising upon outspread wings.

On the vale and the stream where Formenos is located, I utilised this passage from Lost Tales:

[...] here the entire people of the Noldoli are ordered to leave Kor for the rugged dale northwards where the stream Híri plunged underground, and the command to do so seems to have been less a punishment meted out to them by Manwe than a pre-caution and a safeguard. In connection with the place of the banishment of the Noldoli, here called Sirnúmen ('Western Stream') [...]

Relevant LotR quotes about the Eregion passages, used for soil description extrapolations and other elements:

Suddenly Gimli, who had pressed on ahead, called back to them. He was standing on a knoll and pointing to the right. Hurrying up they saw below them a deep and narrow channel. It was empty and silent, and hardly a trickle of water flowed among the brown and redstained stones of its bed; but on the near side there was a path, much broken and decayed, that wound its way among the ruined walls and paving-stones of an ancient highroad. ‘Ah! Here it is at last!’ said Gandalf. ‘This is where the stream ran: Sirannon, the Gate-stream, they used to call it. But what has happened to the water, I cannot guess; it used to be swift and noisy. Come! We must hurry on. We are late.’ [...] "...there is a wholesome air about Hollin. Much evil must befall a country before it wholly forgets the elves, if once they dwelt there." "That is true", said Legolas. "But the Elves of this land were of a race strange to us of the silvan folk, and the trees and the grass do not now remember them: Only I hear the stones lament them: deep they delved us, fair they wrought us, high they builded us; but they are gone. They are gone. They sought the Havens long ago."

More TBA if anything comes to mind.

#writing stuff #trsb21

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