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How Grindr Finally Acknowledged Homosexual Men Who Aren't Tops Or Bottoms: The Rise Of The Sides

The new category on the dating app gives attention to people who have long felt alone when it comes to sex.

The Grindr app is used by around 11 million homosexual men every month to find partners for sex. Once there, they have access to a never-ending list of guys, ranging in appearance from bear to twink to attractive. But historically, the options for positions for sex have only been top and bottom, which is a critical factor for the majority of gay men. The sole alternative switches between those roles: verse (for versatile).

It has been quite difficult to locate someone, according to 38-year-old Long Beach, California resident Jeremiah Hein, who doesn't match those roles. There isn't a category to pick from.

Shai Davidi, 51, of Tel Aviv, Israel, claimed that whenever he considered those options, he would tell himself, "I'm none of those things." "I thought there must be a problem with me,"

But that eventually changed a month ago. The term "side," which challenges the dichotomy that has long dominated gay male society, was added to Grindr in mid-May. Sides are men who, with the exception of anal penetration, feel fulfillment in all forms of intercourse. An alternative that offers a release that is rich in emotional, physical, and psychological benefits is a wide variety of oral, manual, and frictional body procedures. These actions are referred described as "outercourse" by some followers.

Many sides claim that the LGBT community, whose members frequently perceive them as immature, indolent, or even asexual, is the source of widespread rejection and misunderstanding. "A lot of individuals feel stigmatized," said 64-year-old New York City resident and side identifier Lucien Samaha. "They make you feel like you're not a full gay person," one man said.

The sex therapist and author Dr. Joe Kort first used the term "side" in 2013, but it has just recently begun to receive some recognition in the larger homosexual community. Dr. Kort created the Side Guys private Facebook group page 18 months ago to provide the males with a platform for acceptance and, maybe, to spark a movement. He stated, "I wanted to build a community." "I wanted to help others overcome their feelings of isolation and shame."

The group's membership quietly increased, first by the tens and later by the hundreds. However, membership has risen to 5,000 during the past eight months. Young and old people from all around the world have posted. The majority of the males, according to Kort, were introduced to the organization through the TikTok videos he produced to spread the word. On TikTok, other males have been creating their own educational films, such as model Barrett Pall, who has 1.4 million followers. Another innovation is the recent addition of a "sides" definition to Wikipedia's "terminology of homosexuality" entry. At the same time, one of LA-based homosexual comedian Michael Henry's most watched videos on YouTube, a mock-tutorial on sides that is amusing yet empathetic, has amassed over 224,000 views in recent weeks.

In the video, a young man complains to his companions about seeing "a variety of men but not topping or bottoming." What are you doing with these folks, a buddy enquires with puzzlement? a handshake "When the man reveals that he is a side, Henry responds, "You mean like a potato? ”

No, responds the side. "I don't butt when it comes to sex," someone once said.

Henry claimed that hearing some younger men use the term in gay clubs in the previous year gave him the idea for the composition. It's something that people have started talking about, but not many homosexual people are aware of, he claimed.

Henry's video has received an immediate and uplifting response. People would write in the comments, 'Finally, there's a term for what I am,' he recalled. Such relief is felt.

Sides have always existed, whatever how recent the topic of discourse may be, according to Butch Peaston, 69, of Albany, New York. I've called myself that for the past 50 years.

He claimed that during that time, the community's response had "been horrible. When they discovered that I wasn't into penetration, people would become upset. They didn't understand it.

But to folks like Kort, it made perfect sense. He admitted, "I've had these feelings since I was ten." "As a college student, when anal sex was first introduced to me, I thought, 'It's not going to happen.' People would ask, 'What's wrong with you? What about virginity? I felt very powerless. In my 40s, I finally admitted, "This is dumb. I'm a counselor! Why do I feel bad about this? ’”

He started discussing it in retreats and seminars he hosted in order to alleviate that emotion in himself and others. He authored an article on it for the Huffington Post in 2013, which popularized the term. It was quickly incorporated into Urban Dictionary. Two years later, Cucumber, a comedy series written by Queer as Folk and It's A Sin creator Russell T Davies, features a main character who is classified as a side. But it's hardly a favorable portrayal. The character's behavior with regard to having sex is portrayed as immature, fearful, and withholding, reflecting all of the most unfavorable opinions in the neighborhood. They behave as though we are still developing as LGBT people, according to Hein.

Even some perceive the supporting position as a manifestation of homophobia that has been internalized. Kort sees things differently. He thinks that LGBT individuals have the chance to challenge the heteronormative construct that defines penetration as the only standard for sex. He remarked, "It's copying patriarchal garbage. "I try to explain to folks all the time that sex is sex in all sex activities. How you define it matters.

He sees a side approach as beneficial for straight people as well, especially women who prefer oral techniques or find penetrative sex difficult. Due to the fact that some side effects can make orgasm more accessible to some people, the method can also help homosexual and straight men who have erectile dysfunction resume having sex.

Kort, like many other sides, thinks that many men with comparable interests continue to be secretive about them. There is evidence that many gay and bisexual guys, at least momentarily, enjoy side activity. Only 35% of 25,000 gay and bisexual males questioned in 2011 by George Mason University in Virginia engaged in penetrative intercourse during their most recent sexual experience. These males favored kissing, oral, and non-penetrative actions, according to three-quarters of them. The groups the Guardian spoke to claimed they had no trouble finding males for their first sex experiences like in sex vn because of this, perhaps. The only time their interests - or lack thereof - became a deal-breaker was when it came to romantic relationships.

Some parties who have been in long-term relationships have admitted that they have had to keep those connections open in order for their top or bottom partners to engage in activities they themselves don't feel comfortable performing in order to sustain those partnerships.

It is evident from talking to the Side Guys and reading their articles that they all have unique back stories and taste preferences. However, they become close because of two factors. First of all, it brings me great satisfaction to acknowledge the expanding community and the recent expansion of the phrase. However, there is also a profound lingering pain from having such a personal and significant aspect of their lives misinterpreted, as well as tiredness from having to explain their lives to others all the time. One Side Guy stated, "I have felt so much rejection and frustration. Another person stated, "I did not want to talk about it, not even to my closest dear friends. I was terrified of being judged,

The term's debut on Grindr marks a significant advancement because it gets right to the sex act. Bobby Box, a writer on homosexual issues who earlier this year wrote a story about sides for the Canadian queer journal Xtra, deserves a lot of credit for adding it.

He claimed, "I've never received such a strong reaction to anything I've written.

He was encouraged and told his editor at Grindr, who is in charge of the company blog, that "this is something people need to know about," according to Box. And he concurred. He began to perceive this as a neighborhood.

According to Kort, that group is large enough to include trans and intersex individuals. He hopes sides will soon feel secure enough to create their own visibility groups at Pride marches, therefore he has started selling T-shirts with the slogan: "I'm a Side with Pride" on them on his website in order to boost the movement's cause.

In a young age that has been actively contesting all forms of binary thinking, particularly in the areas of identity and sexuality, Box finds cause for optimism. He answered, "The kids will save us."

It will spread more quickly the more we say about it and the more people talk about it, according to Kort. The moment has come for this. pornsexzone.com

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livsunit2 · 1 year

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The 1920s

The glamour of the 20s has influenced many brands such as, Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Maria Grachvogel.

classiq. (2011). ralph-lauren-spring 2012. [Online]. classiq.me. Last Updated: 16 September 2011. Available at: http://classiq.me/ralph-lauren-spring-2012 [Accessed 3 December 2023].

fashiongonerogue. (2011). Gucci Spring 2012 | Milan Fashion Week. [Online]. www.fashiongonerogue.com. Last Updated: 21 September 2011. Available at: https://www.fashiongonerogue.com/gucci-spring-2012-milan-fashion-week/3/ [Accessed 3 December 2023].

The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby was a novel written by American author F. Scott Fitzgerald that follows a cast of characters living in the fictional town of West Egg on prosperous Long Island summer in 1922.

The story consists of the young and mysterious millionaire Jay Gatsby and his obsession for the beautiful Daisy Buchanan.

The Great Gatsby explores themes of decadence, idealism, resistance to change, social upheaval, and excess, creating a portrait of the Roaring Twenties

Adam Kullman. (2016). Nostalgia in The Great Gatsby: The Green Light and Nick's Struggle with Nostalgia ADAM KULLMANMAY 11, 2016 2:49 PM EDT. [Online]. owlcation.com. Last Updated: 11 May 2016. Available at: https://owlcation.com/humanities/Nostalgia-in-The-Great-Gatsby [Accessed 3 December 2023].

The look of the 20s

Barry Samaha. (2022). Shop the Looks from the 1920s That Continue to Inspire Today. [Online]. www.harpersbazaar.com. Last Updated: 29 November 2022. Available at: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/trends/g35335543/1920s-fashion-photos/ [Accessed 3 December 2023].

The Designers

Lucien Lelong 1889-1958

The man who saved Paris!!

Lelong saved Parisian couture in the face of the hostile takeover by the Nazis in WW2 has overshadowed his creative legacy.

Lucien Lelong is one of the most important French designers of the year 1920-1930. He was born into a family of designers, destined to make his own path within the industry. Unfortunately, his career was put of hold due to WW1, he was sent to the trenches, where he served as an intelligence officer.

wikipedia. (2023). Lucien Lelong. [Online]. en.wikipedia.org. Last Updated: 28 January 2023. Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucien_Lelong#/media/File:Lucien_Lelong_in_1925.tif [Accessed 3 February 2023].

After the war he resumed his career at the same as Coco Chanel’s fashion house was taking off. Besides this Lelong was the one who showed the sharpest business acumen by offering discounts to society women who agreed to be photographed in his dresses. Some of his main costumers were Marlene Dietrich and the Duchess of Windsor.

The business was very successful. By 1926 he employed 1,200 staff and had moved to 16 rue Matignon, off the Champs-Elysées.

Lelong’s style much like Chanel was influenced by sport and the idea of the body in motion. The word for clothes’ capacity to move with the body was kinétique. He said he wanted them ‘to be constructed in such a way that their true shape would emerge in movement, not at rest’.

In the 1920s in Paris Madeleine Vionnet was associated with draping, Jean Patou and chic, Lelong with fluidity. Dressmaking, in his hands, became engineering. He evolved dresses with narrow pleats that moved with the garment but fell back into place when the wearer was still.

Lecien Lelong Party Frock

The dress and over blouse of grey georgette, the dress was finely pleated, sewn with rows of rhinestones, the waist defined with a band of rhinestones and central crescent shape, the over blouse was sleeveless, sewn with regularly spaced rhinestones and rhinestones band at the bottom

Lucien Lelong was one of the first designers to consider the fashion on more than one level, and by creating clothes as well as accessories and fragrances.

From 1925 to 1950 he created approximately 40 perfumes

His muse was his second wife, Natalie Paley, she was a Russian princess of the Romanov family, she had a natural elegance that inspired many photographers such as Horst, Beaton , Man Ray.

After the Wall Street Crash, Paris lost much of its American market and the ‘Garçonne’ style of the 1920s died. ( Patous 1929 collection killed the look by lowering the hemlines to mid-calf)

Natalie was the new look of the 1930s with a slim figure, she would visit his salon to try on clothes and acted as his consultant.

The Evening dresses that Lelong produced in the 1930s still look modern today, as they were influenced by neoclassical drapery, at the time French fashion was entering a decade of crisis, America saw a 90% import tax on French couture. The effected was a flood of cheap copies made in American factories, and many women stopped shopping in France and turned to inspiration of the Hollywood fashion.

Lelong opened his own fashion salon in 1918, he brought in upcoming designs such as, Pierre Balmain, Christian Dior and Herbert de Givenchy. During the famous Dior show in February 1947 at the beginning of the New Look, Lelong was sitting front row to cheer on his disciple.

For nearly 30 years of the House of Lucien Lelong epitomised Parisian elegance. He was known for his beautiful fabrics and understanding of dresses and evening wear. For heath reasons he closed his atelier in 1948, but he continued his production of perfumes until his death in 1958.

Jean Patou 1886-1936

Jean Patou was born in Normandy, France and he inspired from a young age to enter the world of fashion. His father, Charles Patou, owned a successful business as a tanner, despite being inspired by his fathers brilliant use of colourful feathers in book binding, Patou only worked with him for a short time before going out on his own.

exhibitions.fitnyc.edu. (2014). Jean Patou: Innovator. [Online]. exhibitions.fitnyc.edu. Last Updated: 21 March 2014. Available at: https://exhibitions.fitnyc.edu/1930s-fashion-blog/2014/03/21/jean-patou-innovator/ [Accessed 4 january 2023].

After a few failed ventures into tailoring, Patou opened his dress shop in Paris, Maison Parry in 1912. Two years later he gained some popularity and thanks to a generous American department store buyer, who purchased his whole collection, WW1 halted the fashion in paris and Patou fought for 5 years on the war.

After the war he came back into confidence and leadership and started the House of Patou on 7 rue St. Florentine in Paris. His sister Madeline Patou was his first muse and his brother in law Raymond Baras, who was a important business partner throughout Patou’s career.

His collection in 1920 and 1921 represented his worldly influences from his time in the war. He drew from Russian influences and his use of scarves as girdles was published in Vogue on October 15 1921 as one of his signature designs.

One was Patous signature looks was his sportswear for women, which was similar to Chanel. He used jersey, which was originally used for meanswear, to design silhouettes that were easier to move in and for more modern and active woman that emerged in the 20s.

He designed for famous tennis player Suzanne Lenglen, setting a new scandalous trend, calf length skirts and a sleeves cardigan. The new silhouette created lots of press for Patou including a spread in Vogue featuring Lenglen (“ Fashion: Suzanne Lenglen shows how to Dress for Tennis.” Vogue Dec 01 1926).

Speakeasy News. (2021). Time for Tennis at Wimbledon. [Online]. www.speakeasy-news.com. Last Updated: 28 June 2021. Available at: https://www.speakeasy-news.com/time-for-tennis-at-wimbledon/ [Accessed 4 january 2023].

weebly. (2013). 20TH CENTURY DESIGNERS. [Online]. iraheta20designer.weebly.com. Available at: https://iraheta20designer.weebly.com/jean-patou.html [Accessed 4 january 2023].

Thanks to Patous bold designs, modern women can now appreciate what he did for them, he opened the door to a sportswear industry that was just as much as looking incredible and showing odd a designer label as about being comfortable and active.

James Dawson. (2017). Andy Murray Shuts Down Reporter For Ignoring Female Tennis Players In Post-Match Conference. [Online]. www.ladbible.com. Last Updated: 20 March 2018. Available at: https://www.ladbible.com/now/sport-andy-murray-shuts-down-reporter-in-tense-post-match-conference-20 [Accessed 4 january 2023].

The free mind-set of the 20's influenced Patou from all directions. He saw a need for simple and functional women's clothing but also saw trends like cubism and art deco as excellent inspirations.The freedom women began to demand during the "Roaring Twenties," including exercising, showing their legs and sunbathing, created a gap in the fashion industry that Patou knew how to fill. It has been said by historians that Patou was known for being a playboy who never married and may have had such a great understanding of the modern woman because he was with so many of them. He objectified them in a way that allowed him to view their needs as well as create designs that appealed to men.

weebly. (2013). 20TH CENTURY DESIGNERS. [Online]. iraheta20designer.weebly.com. Available at: https://iraheta20designer.weebly.com/jean-patou.html [Accessed 4 january 2023].

Much of Patou's success came from his boldness in marketing and in his lifestyle, balanced with the simplicity and expert tailoring in his designs. He is often credited as the Inventor of Haute Couture Sportswear. He created press frenzy when he was the first European designer to bring American models to present his collection in 1924, because of how appealing he found their "slender American Diana" body types to be.Much of Patou's success came from his boldness in marketing and in his lifestyle, balanced with the simplicity and expert tailoring in his designs. He is often credited as the Inventor of Haute Couture Sportswear. He created press frenzy when he was the first European designer to bring American models to present his collection in 1924, because of how appealing he found their "slender American Diana" body types to be.

Jean Patou also created many perfumes that helped continue his legacy through to the present, his most successful was ‘Joy’ stated the most expensive sent in the world. Each bottle contained 10,600 jasmine flowers and 336 roses.

In the 1930s his extravagant lifestyle and love of gambling led to his decline in 1936 and he suffered with a apoplectic fit and passed away.

However the label Jean Patou continues with young designers creating collections such as Karl Largerfeld, Christian Lacroix and Jean Paul Gaultier, and with this the story continues

CoCo Chanel 1883-1971

Gabrielle Bonheur Chanel was born in 1883, but later claimed that this wasn’t true and that she was born 1893 making her 10 years younger. She also used to disguise her birth place, but CoCo was born in a workhouse in the Loire Valley where her unmarried mother worked, although she would say she was born in Auvergne.

Viktor Milevski. (2016). The Inspiring Life Of Coco Chanel. [Online]. fashioncorner.net. Last Updated: 1 September 2016. Available at: https://fashioncorner.net/lifestyle/coco-chanel-inspiring-life/ [Accessed 4 january 2023].

Her mother died when she was only six years old, this left her father with five children who he quickly send off to other relatives. Chanel was sent to an orphanage of the Catholic monastery of Aubazine, where she learnt the trade of a seamstress.

During the 1920s, CoCo Chanel became the first designer to create a loose women’s jersey, which traditionally was a piece of men’s underwear, this created a relaxed style for women ignoring the stiff corseted look at the time. They soon became very popular with many clientele, and the postwar generation of women now saw the corsetry old-fashioned and impractical.

By the 1920s, Maison Chanel was established at, 31 rue Cambon in Paris ( which is still is today) and became a powerful fashion force to recon with. Chanel became a style icon herself with her striking bob and tan,placing her at cutting edge of modern style.

The Chanel Jacket

The Chanel jacket is undeniably one of fashion’s chicest most enduring pieces that can be worn in multiple ways each unique and stylish. First created by the labels founder, Coco Chanel, this item was undeniably intended to free women form the constraints of the silhouettes of the Fifties.

Icon-Icon. (2013). The Chanel Little Black Jacket. [Online]. www.icon-icon.com. Last Updated: 5 December 2013. Available at: https://www.icon-icon.com/en/the-chanel-little-black-jacket/ [Accessed 4 january 2023].

Sarah Barnes. (2014). A Brief History of the Iconic Chanel Jacket. [Online]. stylecaster.com. Last Updated: 18 April 2014. Available at: https://stylecaster.com/coco-chanel-jacket/ [Accessed 4 january 2023].

Facts about Chanel

she quoted “Fashion fades, only style remains the same.”

The perfume Chanel No.5 is the worlds best selling

The interlocking of the C’s in the logo remains one of the ultimate brand insignia

Since 1983, Karl Lagerfeld has been the designer of Chanel

Her apartment in Paris that was bought by Chanel in 1920 is still the ground floor shop, haute couture workrooms in the attic and now is Karl Lagerfeld’s study.

Art Deco (1920-1935)

Art Deco first appeared after WW1 and had a huge effect on the culture of industrialisation and was one of the main attributes to embracing technology.

Art Deco represented many things for different people, it was the style of the fantasy world of Hollywood.

There was different looks of art deco from Art Nouveau style that was often recognised by rich colours, bold geometric shapes, and lavish ornamentation. Art Deco took over many forms of design from the fune and decorative arts to fashion, film, photography, transport and product design. It was seen everywhere.

(arrange alphabetically by the authors' surnames) theapollobox. (2020). What Is Art Deco? An Overview of the 1920s Style. [Online]. blog.theapollobox.com. Available at: https://blog.theapollobox.com/2020/09/02/what-is-art-deco-an-overview-of-the-1920s-style/ [Accessed 4 january 2023].

Fashion was becoming relevant and more important, many women were becoming more feminine, this was mostly all happened in the centre of Paris, European fashion was born style "art deco".

Many things were also inspired by Art Deco such as ;

Michelin Building, London (1905-11) This building was created between the two art movement of Art Deco and Art Nouveau.

South Beach, Miami (1930s)

MI6 Headquarters, Vauxhall Cross, London (1988-93) Built by Terry Farrell who used the clean lines of the Art Deco style as inspiration for the building and capturing the essence of the elegant era.

Lacquered Dressing Table (1930) Paul Folloy created beautiful furniture in light wood and with rounded edges to create modern furniture.

Silver Tea and Coffee Service (1934-39) (H.G.Murphy)

Posters by Cassandre, luxury and decadence.

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