#maam please get out

[cashweasel]

It’s 3 am

#my head is so full of thought of miss valen #maam please get out #miss valen wearing tight leather pants sitting sexily on a stool in a tavern playing her lute #miss valen in the woods near her palace wearing a circlet and playing her harp #miss valen kissing her boyfriends #modern au miss valen and all her sexy dresses #miss valen in a bikini having the most wonderful time on the beach #miss valen in a sundress #miss valen in braids #miss valen in a sexy business suit #miss valen putting people in their place while wearing a sexy business suit #I love her. so. much #this woman #she is so bad I love her #I could also talk about her for hours so if anyone wants to ask about her #I will talk #miss valen #my ocs

[akkivee]

i belatedly realised that the chuuoku women also get seasonal lines in arb and was very excited listen to how they’re doing with the fall weather and otome 😭😭😭 said she thinks autumn is a very lovely season and likes seeing the leaves change colour but there’s no such view from her office in chuuoku 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#this is vee speaking #the arb chronicles #maam please retire faster and go outside 😭😭😭😭😭😭 get some vitamin d try a seasonal tea pls otome 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #nemu said she wanted to throw an autumn event within chuuoku and that sounds like so much fun!!!!! i hope she gets to 😭😭😭 #ichijiku was musing about autumn flavours in sweets and that’s a vibe lol i love jp sweet potato goods 🍠 #the hifujaku in the fall lines in particular took me out lmao hifumi went hiking at some point and picked some chestnuts #and gave some to sensei who was so happy he cooked with it right away 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i miss matenrOT3 so much lmao that’s why it was like a gut punch lmao

[ruehyte]

My pencil ran out of lead but iwant to draw her more

#samarie #this is getting silly please get out of my head maam #fear and hunger #funger #fear and hunger termina #termina

[fulgurbugs]

I have to do my final essay for my maya art history class but i cant do it because the professor wants us to make like. it in a diary entry format for like. your mayan oc you just fucking made up and i have no idea where to start. I wish she just assigned us a normal boring ass essay like a fucking normal person because what the fuck is this. i didnt sign up for any creative writing crap im no good at it ;-;

#like what the fuck do you want from me #Hi my name is Ajaw D’arkness dementia quetzal way and i have long ebony black hair that i always style up so that it makes my head look lon #im not related to the maize deity but i wish i was (A/N if you dont know who he is get da hell out!) #Im a human but i have divine power (thats why im gonna be in charge of everybody) #I live at a cool city called Palenque and i wear mostly cool patterned fabric and lots of jade #for example today i was wearing giant jade earspools and carrying my k’awiil scepter and i saw some war captives. I put my middle finger up #listen maam im not nearly doing well enough in this class to do this assignment and not have it be complete incomprehensible garbage PLEASE #LET ME DO A FUCKING NORMAL ESSAY

[soldier-poet-king]

just had to explain the surrealist art movement and specifically dali’s metamorphosis of narcissus to my mother and it’s 11pm and im too tired for this shit???

#franposting #i dont even particularly LIKE dali #but i felt the need to defend his work from an intellectual perspective #bc like. i GET it/ surrealism makes SENSE in it's historical context esp post ww1 europe #and it's about weird symbolism and puzzles and not necessarily like. aesthetically pleasing artworks #do i want to hang it in my home? no. is it still super important and ineresting? yeah #hell i LOVE dadaism. again. art isnt JUST about aesthetics ok. #anyway tldr my brother somehow ended up with a GIANT ASS version of this painting after helping out at a church fundraiser #idk how it got there or why anyone thought dali was be appreciated or popular at my immigrant/working class/largely conservative parish. #\but like. alrighty then #lets dust out the nearly decade old art history lectures where my prof was an elderly british probably alcoholic but otherwise lovely #other than the fact i was the single italian-descent and everytime we moved to italian art she called on me like i knew stuff??? #she did the same thing to the single dutch guy in the class when we did northern renaissance #the VAST majority of the small lecture were WASPS so it was just #me n oliver out there like. no professor maam we DO NOT actually know anything #abt italian/dutch art #like oh here's a raphael. francesca you wanna talk about it #MAAM??? IDK SHIT. IM IN THIS CLASS AS AN ELECTIVE FOR FUNSIES

[s0urte3th]

like i know i need to get my life together and shit but

#man. i dont wanna. i dont wanna so fucking badly. i feel hopeless and frankly i just dont wanna worry rn. #just wanna be some dum bum who lazes around all day and doesnt have to worry. i hate that this world doesnt allow that #let me WALLOW maam!!! let me be depressed!!! dont talk to me!! leave me alone!! #LET ME ROT IN MY ROOOOOOM!!!! i wont actually but FUCK man #just lemme be in my own world for a little bit. oh? its been 6 weeks? didnt notice! what a shame! #just let me be in my own little world man. i know im being practically useless but.. man idc right now. i really dont. #let me have the peace ive missed out on in the past 5 years. i know you dont know that these 5 years have been hard but they have been. #i want to spend the time i lost while i was worrying and in bad relationships and friendships. #do i not deserve that time back? do i not get a reward for my agony? if i do good isnt it supposed to come back to me? #i want that time back. i want to have that time with my inner child that i missed out on. the fun summers. the peaceful vacations. #please just let me have it. i missed out on so much so please. i just wanna be peaceful man.

[ihatebnha]

WHY DID U GO IN ON SEM LIKE THAT IN THE TAGSJDJDJS

@sems-diarie

because she doesn't bully her men enough and lets them get away with TOO MUCH!!! someone's gotta keep them both straight and if that person has to be me, SO BE IT!!!!

i just don't want her walking around with clowns😔😔😔💖

#LMFAOOO I CANT TELL WHICH OF THE TWO POSTS UR REFERRING TO BC BOTH TAGS ARE MAKING ME LAUGH #sem u have shooters out here help #im ducking #altho im a bakugo shooter bc BACK BOILS??? help #tho tell me u wouldn't do it too if you heard the things she says about these men #like sem x eren... PLEASE maam u deserve better :(((((( #happy for them but also the whole wedding im mad #i bring a takeout container for the dinner bc i can't let her get off for free #ask #anon #caitie chats

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

i wish this query nudging experience wasn't teaching me that nudging Does Not Work :(

#text #personal #writing #aw #lucius #querying #whine whine whine #i wouldve called it a while ago but last summer she explicitly said if its still in her query manager its under consideration #and there were some updates in fall and nothing since #and i nudged her in october after none news #and i nudged her again yesterday but i dont have high hopes #i dont want to pull it because itd just be for the closure and like. its my last one. #so theres no reason for it Not to keep hanging out in her QM on the off chance that someday she gets back to it #but also. maam. please. #i queried you in january. #i queried you in january. of 2022. #i just want to Know 😭😭😭

[zebracakesarecopingmechanisms]

It’s nice being myself and all but I do sometimes miss when people didn’t vehemently hate me

#vent #tw vent #tw homophobia #lesbian #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #autistic #autism #unmasking #🤡.txt #gets a little old after a while. can y’all stop staring please im literally just trying to walk down the goddamn hallway #straight girls always act like I just kissed them on the lips of something. maam I am ten feet away and didn’t even look at you #i KNOW you don’t want me in the girls bathroom. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE EITHER. BUT IF YOUD MOVE THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY #IT WOULD MAKE THE PROCESS OF ME GETTING THE HELL OUT MUCH SMOOTHER!!!! #i love it when men look at me as an object and then when they realize I’m not accessible to them they see me like an alien #/s obviously #butch chronicles

[lup-laguz]

working retail is Hell but having a new regular customer who often offers to throw hands for your honor makes things a little bit better methinks

#magical girl yoshi #haven't been on here as much recently just cause work's been a lot more tiring lately than usual #recently got yelled at by one asshole who took personal offense to the fact i'm still wearing masks in public #and this was the first time i met this particular regular and she offered to fight the asshole for me #like if youre gonna please do so outside because we were trying to close and i just wanted to go home but #i still rlly appreciated that she checked in on me to be sure i was good #and i've had to check her out a few times since then and she's always just checking in like #you doing good today? no one's been mean to you right?? #literally offered 'let me know if anyone gives you any problems and i'll fight them for ya' today #'maam i just want to get through the work night but i appreciate the sentiment. thank u very much <3

[sneakobeep]

I am currently a drenched rat bc I was running round trying to figure out what court office to go to to file legal name change in the rain only to find out the person I need to speak with is only in until noon (—> got there at 12:30)

#feeling mildly insane but now I have coffee so it’s ok 😌 #the first building I went to I stood in line to get helped thinking it was the right place. it was not #the clerk that helped me immediately was like ‘oh dearie you’re drenched’ and I was like. sorry maam please here are my papers #pulled out my ziploc bag of signed papers and got send across the street #why is this more difficult than it needs to be I just wanna get my NAME CHANGED

[flower-zombie-rob]

girl...

#the singular time i give youtube shorts a try #what even is this #maam this is a childrens establishment #i dont think doing that was a good idea period #please #you need better friends who'll tell you not to do this #whoever you told that didnt convince you out of this #get rid of them

[isimpoveryou]

oscar piastri x reader

fc: avantika vandanapu

{𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓}

lovingf1wags

liked by y/nupdates and 4,729 others

lovingf1wags Y/N L/N today at the mean girls premire

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user01 SHE'S SO G0RGEOUS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?!?!(

user02 can oscar fight? like seriously?!

user03 mommy?!?!

user04 OSCAR YOU ONE DAMN LUCKY MOTHER FUCKER

user05 i know oscar is a rather private person but if i was him my whole damn instagram would be dedicated to y/n l/n

user06 SO REAL!??!

user07 NO CUZ I WOULD TOO IF I DATE THE Y/N L/N

yourinstagram ✔︎

liked by oscarpiastri and 789,920 others

yourinstagram mean girls premire 💞🎀🌸🐩💟👚🍨

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user01 SHE'S SO AGHSJSUDUUDD

user02 mommy?!

alexandrasaintmleux pretty girl 🫶🫶🫶

yourinstagram awww love you alex

user03 SHES SO PERFECT IN EVERY WAY

user04 LITERALLY?!? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! CAN OSCAR FIGHT?!

oscarpiastri 😍😍😍😍

yourinstagram 😘😘😘

user05 i cant believe we lost to a guy that vroom vrooms in circle for a living

lilymhe right?!?! its so unfair

alex_albon 🤨🤨🤨

yourinstagram LILYYY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

yourinstagram ✔︎

liked by oscarpiastri and 579,820 others

yourinstagram get in loser we're going shopping @mclaren

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user01 literally us : 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

user02 ANYTHING FOR Y/N

user03 MOMMY?!?!?

yourinstagram yes child?

user03 INXJIZJIAKWJSIIZSJSJSIS

user04 does that mean oscar is our daddy?

lilymhe lets drop both alex and oscar, date eachother instead

yourinstagram 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

alex_albon @oscarpiastri are you seeing this?

oscarpiastri i pretend i didnt

mclaren our fav papaya girl 🧡🧡🧡

yourinstagram @landonorris TAKE THAT!

oscarpiastriupdates

liked by yourinstagram and 68,829 others

oscarpiastriupdates ya'll in y/n comments "can oscar fight" UH YES?! HE'S FUCKING JACKED?!?!

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user01 OSCAR?!?!?

user02 i wanna put bows there

oscarpiastriupdates me too girl me too

user03 DAYUM OSCAR 'JACKED' PIASTRI

user04 y/n or oscar correct answer wins

user05 both

user06 both

user07 BOAF

yourinstagram why wont these damn app swipe right?!?

oscarpiastriupdates OMG?!?!?! IM DREAMING!??!?!!

oscarpiastriupdates maam tell him to spill his work outs

yourinstagram ✔︎

liked by oscarpiastri and 683,109 others

yourinstagram he certainly can fight

tagged-oscarpiastri

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user01 I CANT BELIEVE I LOST TO A WHITE BOY

oscarpiastri My pretty girl, I love you ❤️

yourinstagram Lover boy, I love you more ❤️

user02 someone please run me over with a car they're so cute 😭😭😭

user03 MY PARENTS

user04 after seeing THAT pict yeah this man can fight us all

user05 i mean he is OSCAR 'JACKED' PIASTRI

#fake instagram #social media au #instagram au #social media imagines #fake social media #f1 x reader #f1 x you #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x you #x reader #oscar piastri imagine #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 smau

[spikeyjo]

im a guy until it comes to starbucks then i am one of the girls

#my next town over getting a starbucks is gonna be the reason i go bankrupt #i had a gift card from christmas and its already about all used #turns out i like espresso drinks #they still have to taste enough like candy but i dont mind the coffee taste anymore #wheres that post that says kids dont like bitter tastes bc its like a protective thing #do u remember that #anyways love you hope your day is going good #mine was fine #i went out with my dad and he was chill which was nice #even with a binder hoodie and beanie on i still got sweethearted by the cashier at krogers #maam i am the least feminine looking person in this whole store PLEASE #glad my family just thinks im going thru a weird phase #again hello if you made it this far i love you #hopefully going to starbucks again tomorrow #would be lovely to be a person that ordered them complicated drinks #but i feel bad even ordering on the menu items LOL

[s-static]

.

#i cant breathe god its so hard to breathe right now #i cant do any physical activity without needing to sit down and catch my breath for a minute #like im out of breathe from going to the bathroom #i dont know what i have and the doctor i went to see yesterday urgentcare was like (oh u need to just stop smoking silly billy :) ! ) #maam u seem very nice but i have not smoked that much since i got covid last month #my chest feels tight im wheezing so much i cant sleep my throat hurts from coughing so much #i have steroids i need to take for the next three days and im really hoping they help bc god #if this is serious i do not have the funds to pay for its treatment #ive had some sort of health issue the past three months im getting tired of it #legitimately too i have not had proper sleep in so long #i could only sleep for 4 hours last night and i have work at 10:30 #aaaaaaaaaaagghhghghghghhhggghh please go away soon i want to be able to enjoy the fact that we have an apt now #delete later

[jyoongim]

This is more of an idea (feel free to not respond btw)

But what if married reader gets knocked up with Alastors fawn and the husband divorced her once he realizes the baby isn’t his? You can bet your ass that the deer daddy is already trying to ensnare the reader in his grasp lol

Hehehe i have never written a Part 2 so fast !

Part 1

————————————————————————

“Oh my Satan dear! Look at you! Ya look like you’re bout to pop!” Rosie exclaimed when you walked in her shop.

’Pop’ was an understatement.

You were very near the end of your pregnancy and it had not been kind to you.

You never told your husband about the incident with Alastor.

Would he had even believed you?

Alastor was A LOT of things, but the two of you were friends…your husband would think call you insane….

Your eyes widened seeing the very cause of your discomfort.

Alastor.

You wanted to dash out the door, run back home and hide.

The red Overlord turned around, hearing Rosie’s voice, you froze seeing his eyes look you over, you instinctively placed a hand over your stomach when his lips stretched into a smile.

You heard Rosie excuse herself to go get some appetizers but you were too focused to acknowledge her.

You were alone.

With him.

You took a shaky breath as memories from several months ago flashed across your mind, but you shook your head lightly to discard those thoughts.

”My my look at you” he purred approaching until he towered over you, beaming like a Cheshire cat “You really do make a fine mother” his large hand caressed the swell of your belly, smile softening when he felt movement.

”j-just leave me be please” you whispered, wincing when he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

Alastor chuckled ”leave you be? Oh ma cherie no can do!” 

He bent his head, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, voice dropping to a whisper “especially since you’re about to give birth to my baby?”

You pushed him away, putting distance between the two of you. Your face was flushed, eyes narrowed “I am NOT having your baby! I am having my husband’s baby!” You defended.

But there was a sliver of doubt you always felt when it came to the little soul nestled within you.

Alastor’s smile never wavered “Hmm you sure? Because i remember vividly filling your cunt with my seed until it dripped down your legs” 

You froze.

”You took me so well I was positive you would be pregnant”

He took small steps towards you

”Did you tell your husband?” 

Your snarl fell at his words and he knew he had you.

”T-there’s n-nothing to tell” you said turning around, ready to leave. 

You didnt have to take this.

He hummed coming up behind you. “Nothing to tell?” He chuckled darkly as his lanky arms wrapped around you, cradling your swollen belly. He leaned his head on top of yours.

”Oooh darlin I’m hurt! You didnt tell your loving husband how you milked my cock? How I tasted the cunt that belonged to him? How I claimed you for myself? That I sent you home filled with my cum?”

You were shaking.

”How unfaithful you were? Could the poor man tell another man’s cum was inside you while he fucked you?”

He kissed your neck

”I can’t wait to meet our little fawn”

Your baby kicked causing him to smile.

————————————————————————-

Pain.

Thats all you felt as you tried to breath through your contraction.

”You got this honey! You’re doing great” your husband soothed as you wailed.

”One more push maam the baby’s almost here” the nurse reassured you.

Almost? It felt like you been pushing forever

”I cant” you panted.

Everything burned.

Your husband dabbed at your sweaty forehead, pressing a kiss to it “You got this baby. C’mon just one more push and then it’ll all be over”

Your eyes clenched and with a scream you pushed.

”Aaahh!”

Relief and then the shrill cry of a baby.

The nurses cooed “Ooh a healthy boy!”

she cleaned up the baby and you sighed as you slumped against the bed.

Finally.

”Ok mama” you felt a small weight on your chest.

Soft noises had you look down and you felt your heart break and bloom.

Red tufts of hair curled on the babe’s head and he looked at you with big red eyes.

He looked like you; round cheeks and a cute nose.

He looked nothing like your husband.

And every bit like…

”what the fuck” you heard your husband say. You turned to him, eyes wide.

He was staring at the baby.

”I-Its n-not what you think dear j-just let me-”

”You fucked Alastor” he was frowning, standing up from the bed.

You shook your head, tears swelling

”N-no that’s…I didnt i swear”

”I am looking at his exact copy. The damn brat looks nothing like me!”

You couldnt move “Honey p-please”

The man backed away. He was angry.

The baby began to cry, you tried to rock the poor soul, but your attention was on your husband

”Honey-”

”I should have known” he hissed lowly, pacing.

”I should have known by the way he acted. How you flirted with each other! The fucking radio demon!? Tsk!”

He turned to look at you.

”I dont want some bitch who takes me for a fool. Hope it was worth it you fucking slut” he turned to walk out.

tears ran down your face, your heart was racing “W-What? Honey no it wasn’t like that..it-it was never-”

”I want a divorce. You are dead to me”

and like that he was gone.

You sat there stunned.

Your husband just…left.

He left you and he didn’t even let you explain, tell him how or why all this was happening.

The baby cooed and you looked down at him.

You wanted to be angry, you had every right to be, but looking at this sweet soul…he didnt deserve your anger.

You were a mother now. You would do your best to love your child.

Even if you had to do it alone.

————————————————————————————-

“What a fine mother you make indeed my dear”

He smiled watching the little fawn latch to your chest and stare back at him with vermillion eyes.

You hissed at him, earning a quirked brow “haven’t you done enough?”

Soft static buzzed through the air as the Overlord approached you. You took a step back, as he extended a hand to the babe and rubbed his chubby cheek.

Alastor ignored your question ”How are you feeling love?” He asked as the baby nuzzled into your neck.

How were you feeling?

You were divorced, a single mother, and living with Rosie.

Shunned.

All because of him.

”Like hell but I know you’re not here to ask about my well being”

Alastor ignored your jab.

”I do care for you darlin and its only right that I provide for you and our fawn”

You went to growl, threaten him to die, but your baby reached out to the red demon.

Alastor’s face light up and he grabbed the fawn, cooing and tickling the baby.

Your son squealed and giggled, trying to grab at his claws.

”Let’s make a deal dearest”

You straightened at his words. A deal with Alastor was dangerous.

But you were at rock bottom.

”What kind of deal?” You asked cautiously.

”Marry me. Marry me and you’ll have nothing to be worried about. You’ll be protected, cared for, and have anything you desire.”

The baby was gumming at his collar.

”Be mine”

You bit your lip. What did you have to loose?

You sighed, taking your son.

You looked at the tall demon, green magic swirling around him.

”Do we have a deal?” he extend his hand.

You looked at your baby and then back at Alastor.

”I hate you” you said taking his hand,

You winced as your hand burned and watched a gold ring appear on your finger.

Radio static buzzed and then a soft humming. Alastor purred, smiling, fixing his jacket.

“Oh my dear” His arm looped around your waist, bringing you close to him as he chuckled “Such a good girl”

“Now! I think I have the perfect place for us to raise our fawn”

—————————————————————————————

“Uggghh Al you got a little something…” Charlie said nervously as she watch Alastor sip his coffee.

The little red fawn was hanging on his antlers, happily gnawing at the appendages. Alastor looked up, smiling “Oh he’s fine”

”Alastor have you seen…” your voice floated into his ears as you entered the lobby, stopping when you saw your son among his father’s antlers.

Alastor let out a grunt as the baby pulled at his ears “Hes right here dear”

Your baby babbled as you approached, squealing when you plucked him from his father.

You scowled the Overlord, placing the baby on your hip.

”How many times have I told you not to just let him hang-”

”da-”

You froze.

“Da…da” your son babbled, squirming in your arms.

Charlie cooed and Alastor smirked as the fawn’s eyes welled with tears as he reached for his father. Alastor walked towards you, scooping the baby from you.

You pouted as the baby happily chirped, nuzzling in his father’s neck.

Alastor sneaked a soft kiss to your lips 

“See he’s fine”

You sighed, rolling your eyes, arms crossing.

”Oh smile my dear. Maybe the next one will say mama first” he laughed, eyes settling on your round belly.

”After all you’re a great mother”

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x reader #jyoongim #alastor the radio demon #alastor x y/n #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor smut