Into The Unknown, Part 52
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“What the fuck,” Marinette mumbled, her eyes fixed on her computer, a hand hovering above the trackpad unsurely.
Tim shifted his legs from her lap so he could lean over and look.
Marinette slammed the laptop closed.
Which, she supposed, was probably the most suspicious way to go about that. Something that was confirmed by the way Tim stared at her with wide eyes.
She smiled sheepishly. “Oh noooooo my – uh – I don’t know – fuck – porn I was watching porn yes totally – my porn closed out! Guess I can’t show you!”
“You do realize you said all of that out loud, right?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think you’re going to snoop if I say you shouldn’t.”
Tim pressed his lips together thinly.
And then he groaned, coming to rest his head on her shoulder again. “You know, if you’re going to play the whole ‘you are a moral person and would never do anything wrong’ card then I’m going to pull the ‘you know you can come to me with anything’ routine to guilt you.”
Damn. That’s a good routine.
Marinette thought it over for just a few moments more, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully, before she sighed and opened up her computer again to show off her many tabs dedicated to college searching. “I’ve been thinking about applying to get into college. Y’know, since we’re going to be here for a while. Figured I might as well get my degree and all that, since my last attempt at going to college was rudely interrupted.”
Tim smiled despite the tiny jab she had sent his way. “That sounds nice. Why’ve you been hiding it?”
A blush rose to her face. “Don’t know. Just. It would be… embarrassing if I told you about it and then didn’t get in. Could you imagine? How lame would that be?”
He hummed and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Well, if you don’t get in, I’ll just hack the system and change it for you.”
“Aw, honey,” she said, turning to press her forehead against his, her lips curled into a cheeky kind of smile. “You’d commit domestic terrorism for me? So romantic.”
“I’m very sure you’re not using the word right. It’s closer to fraud than anything.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Getting less and less romantic by the second.”
“I will commit domestic terrorism for you, darling,” Tim corrected himself.
She snickered and pressed a short kiss to his lips.
He smiled a little dopily as she pulled back, and she was very tempted to kiss him again, but she had suddenly remembered what had started this conversation in the first place:
She pointed an accusing finger at her screen. “Why are college apps in Gotham so weird?”
“Hm?” He said, blinking once to snap himself out of it, and then looking down at her computer.
He snorted.
Because the essay prompt read as followed:
Tell us about an event that played a major role in shaping who you are today. (We advise you to choose something unique, and not fall back on cliches such as a car crash, kidnapping, or mugging.)
~
Tim smiled as he watched Damian draw. The kid was getting better at it. As he aged, his hands got steadier and steadier, allowing for more clean-looking pictures.
And what was he drawing?
Well, at the moment, Frank. For some reason, the kid really liked drawing things in the world around him. Not that Tim was complaining, he really didn’t mind.
The only one that minded was, apparently, Frank. The dog was trained to stay with Damian but, usually, that still allowed for some movement.
Which is where Tim came in. He petted the dog to keep her still and satisfied while Damian attempted to figure out shading on his own.
Tim and Marinette had both, of course, tried to show him themselves… but Damian had seemed less than happy with this. Their little boy was growing up so fast. He didn’t need them anymore.
Just kidding. The moment he deemed the picture finished, he held it up for Tim’s approval.
Tim, of course, didn’t hesitate: “It’s really good, kiddo. I really like how you used grey to show the lighting of the room. Really adds depth.”
Whether or not he fully understood it, Damian beamed at the praise.
And then, after a few moments where he seemed to mull it over, he showed Frank, too.
Frank, of course, didn’t seem to know quite what was going on. She nosed at the picture a little bit, but didn’t seem to know what to do with the fact that she had been presented with something that was not food.
Damian started to look a little nervous the longer he went without response.
Tim shifted his hand to scratch behind the dog’s ear instead, in that spot he knew she loved.
Frank’s tail wagged accordingly.
“I think she likes it!”
Damian’s eyes lit up. He nodded once, as if to say this was the only possible outcome and he had entirely expected it, and then pointed to the fridge.
Said fridge was running out of space to put drawings on, but Tim would find a way.
Anything for Damian.
~
Marinette poked her head around the doorframe, peering into Bruce’s office. He had no appointments at the moment, she knew (as that was literally her job), but she felt that it was perfectly normal to be somewhat cautious. Even though she knew firsthand about all of the amazing benefits that Wayne Enterprises offered – it was why she had started working there in the first place – she couldn’t help but be hesitant about asking.
Bruce, apparently having the strange sixth sense that all parents do to know when their kid wants something from them, looked up at her.
He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, Marinette?”
She grimaced. No going back now.
She slipped inside, shutting the door behind her, and made her way over to the chair in front of his desk.
Somehow, Bruce’s eyebrow crept higher.
She sighed, deciding to cut to the chase: “I’ve been applying to colleges. And, uh, I was wondering about the scholarships the company offers.”
“Oh,” said Bruce, his expression lightening into something that could almost be described as fond. “Well, we pay for up to $30,000 of what FAFSA and the school’s scholarships don’t cover, which is basically everything for most people.”
She nodded dutifully. She knew this, she had looked it up. But she wasn’t going to tell that to the person paying vast sums of money for her.
“Coolcoolcool,” she mumbled, running a hand through her hair as she thought everything over.
“Are you going full-time or part-time?”
“Full-time. I’m enrolling in twelve credits – for scholarship reasons – but they’re all night and early morning classes so it won’t affect you too much, promise.”
“I’ll reduce your hours either way. I’m sure Tim would run over to beat me up if he heard I was overworking you,” Bruce said.
Then, he laughed at the bitter look that came over her face.
Marinette thought her pout-iness was more than justified. How dare her husband care about her mental and physical well-being? Truly, he must hate her.
“And… what are you going to do about recommendations?”
Marinette smiled nervously. “Well, as you are my current employer, I’m going to have to list you… as for the others, I’m going to ask the WP people to help me.”
(This was, of course, a lie. They were not in witness protection, and therefore would find it very difficult to get an agent to give them a recommendation. In reality, they were going to commit so much fraud.)
He smiled. “I’ll be sure to give you a glowing review.”
“Please don’t,” she groaned, her face flushing. “I’m fine with a normal recommendation.”
He laughed lightly. “Fine, fine. I won’t go into ‘proud dad gushing about his kids mode’, as Jason likes to call it.”
Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. That had gone well. Not that she had thought that it wouldn’t, but she was allowed to be nervous about things. She pushed herself up to stand.
Only to be stopped with a quiet question: “What are you intending on studying?”
Marinette hesitated. She had, originally, been intending on going back into psychology. But that wasn’t really useful for her, and she understood herself well enough to know that she had never gone into psychology because of passion. She had gone because it was the closest she could come to what she was comfortable with.
And everything about this reality was so different, so why not make a tiny change? One that would help once she got home?
“Medicine, I think. It’ll take a while, but the time will pass anyways –.”
And then, to her horror, she realized Bruce’s eyes were starting to water.
She, awkwardly, walked over and gave him a couple of pats on the back. “Are you okay, Bruce?”
He sniffed loudly, rubbing under his eyes. “Of course.”
~
There are many lessons that could be taken from this story. People, over time, with the right kind of support, will get better. Love, be it platonic or romantic, is a beautiful thing. Do not try and rush life, things will come when they come regardless of what you do. But do not run away from the things life throws at you either, because you are only ever just delaying the inevitable, and prolonging your stress.
Tim, however, would impress upon you a different, very specific lesson he would like you to learn: never go to Japanese restaurants with karaoke bars if you aren’t alone.
If you go with friends, it’s very likely you will end up peer-pressured into going up with them, or dared to go up alone, or drunk enough off of sake to go up on your own accord. Sure, maybe you and your friends are the type to make fun of people that go up there, but you’ll never really know until you’re there, and is this really something you want to risk being wrong about?
Want to go have food with your family? Too bad. Now you’re singing a song from The Tiny Merperson’s soundtrack in front of a crowd.
Tim isn’t sure what’s more embarrassing. The fact that he is singing a kid’s song up on stage (Damian is singing into the mic with him, belting his heart out, and they both sound terrible, but since when is the point of karaoke to be good), the fact that Marinette is definitely recording this (she has a soft smile on her face, and this only makes cheeks go even more red), or the fact that he doesn’t have to look at the lyrics on the screen once (his kid stumbles over a good third of the words, his eyes narrowed to near slits in concentration as he looks at the lyrics as if he can will the words to make more sense).
Okay, it was somewhat fun. Embarrassing beyond belief, but he did enjoy it. If only a little bit.
It ended up being worth it, though, because when they got back to the table, Marinette leaned to press a kiss to the corner of his lips and said that she loved him quite a lot.
This wasn’t news, really, but it was always nice to be reminded.
~
Marinette wasn’t a coward. She had been through too much – done too much – to ever be called a coward.
She did, however, have anxiety.
Which is why she was currently staring at a particular bit of mail. It sat on the counter, looking far too innocent for something that could ruin either her next week as she dealt with the pain of rejection… or her next several years as she struggled through school.
Basically, the options weren’t great, and she couldn’t bring herself to open it.
Frank was bumping her nose against her repeatedly, and Marinette scratched her behind the ears distractedly. She knew that this meant that she needed to sit down and give herself a couple of minutes to relax, but she was too jittery to sit.
Thankfully, Tim chose that exact minute to get home from work, Damian on his hip.
He blinked a couple of times at the scene – she must have looked weird, hands braced on the counter in front of the letter, staring at the slip of paper like it was going to explode.
Which, admittedly, was normal in Gotham, but not this version of Gotham.
And then a soft look came over his face. He set down Damian (who immediately ran to greet Frank) and walked over until he could wrap his arms around her from behind. “Do you want me to open it and read it for you?”
Marinette snorted, even as a strange kind of warmth seemed to envelop her. Surely, it was this sudden hot flash that was causing her face to redden. “I’m fully capable of opening it, Tim.”
“I know.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, and she could feel the way his lips were curved into a smile against her skin. “But I’m not sure I want to wait until next year to find out.”
She whirled around in his arms to glare at him, but it was hard to be angry when he was smiling at her so sweetly.
She huffed. The tension bled out of her, bit by bit. She gave a tiny groan and pressed her forehead against his. The arms around her squeezed.
“Dickhead,” she mumbled.
He laughed. “Only for you.” He pressed a short kiss to her lips, and then slowly reached past her for the letter.
She let him, so he was quick to open it and empty the envelope into his hands, not feeling any need to drag it out any more than she already had. There was more than one slip of paper, which was promising, at least.
His eyes scanned over the first line, and she just barely had enough time to take in the way his smile widened before he pulled her into another hug.
She hugged back, if hesitantly. “This… is a good hug, right?”
“You got in!” He said brightly.
And relief flooded into her, nearly making her knees buckle. She was sure that Tim would have caught her if they had. But she didn’t, she held steady, and buried her face in his shoulder.
“Holy fuck,” she whispered.
She pulled away to look for herself, and the bolded words of congratulation at the top of the page made a smile stretch itself over her face.
Damian made grabby hands, and she didn’t hesitate to hand it over.
Green eyes narrowed as he looked down at the paper. Brows furrowed as he scanned over the contents. It was plain to see that he didn’t really understand what was going on. But, still, he looked up at her with a tiny smile.
“Proud of it?” Damian asked.
Marinette exchanged mildly confused looks with Tim, but told him that she was.
“Then it's for the fridge,” Damian said. He nodded once, as if agreeing with himself.
And it was a little embarrassing, but the kid was clearly trying to support her in his own way and how was she supposed to say no to that?
So, it was tacked to the fridge beside one of Damian’s drawings.
If her eyes were a little wet, it wasn’t because she felt like she was drowning in love or anything, she had just yawned.
~
Steph was the one that had pointed it out to him. She hadn’t even realized what he’d done – couldn’t, for she didn’t have any context. But she had ruined his life.
How, you make ask?
She had just mentioned, offhandedly, that he should tell her if Marinette needed help with her homework, because she didn't trust her to do it herself, and med school was difficult.
Which promptly sent him spiraling.
Steph. Marinette. Hell, even Bernard was an EMT, even if it was only an alternate version of him that was dating the man. This was starting to get ridiculous.
Why was his type so specific?!
~~~~~
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I've been having some Thoughts on how the push to vote in the past has given people the wrong idea of what voting can accomplish but also why it's still something you should do. I'm not gonna try to convince people who are ideologically against voting (though I have some raised eyebrow Opinions on people who stick to ideology over actionable results/goals set in reality that I'm probably gonna end up ranting about here) but I WILL push back against the people who seem to want everyone else to also not vote and get all high and mighty at any mention of voting.
Some basic facts right off the bat;
1) Voting ON ITS OWN will not stop a fascist state
2) Voting will not Fix Everything
3) If you ever approach voting as only going for who you Believe In you will be disappointed. Politicians are not your friends. They are not heroes. I don't even think 99.8% of them are good people. Ideological Purity and politics don't mesh in reality.
4) Our system sucks. It is flawed. You can't change that by voting. You also won't change it by NOT voting and being smug online about it.
5) Voting Is Step 1. It is the LEAST you can do for civic change.
Bold on the last bit for a reason! You can not change the system from within the system, but voting is not the same as say, becoming a cop thinking you can change the entire institution by being "one of the good ones." A vote does not lock you into the system. You can vote and then go flip a cop car over and spray paint a confederate statue. You can vote and then join a co-op for community improvement.
So why vote if it won't fix shit?
Well for one thing it should be noted that there's a REASON Republicans are putting a lot of focus into make it harder for you to vote. If that doesn't set off a little ding then idk what does.
Anyway my view of voting is something I said for the 2020 election; it's a tourniquet. A tourniquet will not heal a wound. If you ONLY use a tourniquet without any other actions you just delay the inevitable, but the tourniquet is the Step One to give you more time to take those actions.
Voting won't stop a slide into fascism but it can help put breaks on. Things suck and haven't gotten better but you can't convince me it wouldn't be so much worse if Trump won in 2020. There would be MORE hyper conservative judges being put in place, erosion of rites would be happening WAY faster. You vote to slow the bleeding down even slightly so you have less of a battle than you would otherwise.
As soon as you stop thinking of voting as "this is how I will make a difference by voting for who I believe in and like" and think of it as harm reduction you can get way more strategic about it. An example from my red state is how a lot of leftists handled the primaries. There's no way someone even left of center or moderate is going to win here. It just won't happen! So for the primaries a LOT of left leaning people changed their voting registration to Republican to vote for the least awful guy.
They were all awful. All of them are harmful. But ONE was an open supporter of Q-anon endorsed by Trump and his goons. A lot of votes went to the one who still had shit views but at LEAST said Biden won the election and made wishy washy noises on abortion (as opposed to loudly yelling about banning all abortion and birth control. It's understood he will still likely vote against birth control, but he also seems to care about appealing to moderates so you can push back at him more). He may switch later but there's less of a chance of that guy going full throttle on overturning voting rights, and it was understood that guy would be less of an uphill battle than the other one. That guy won. I know other people in deep red states doing the same thing.
This also is a state to state thing. Here you can change party affiliation for the primaries then change again for the main election, which is what everyone is doing because we accepted that we'll probably end up with that shithead but we're still going to vote against him because we want it to be clear that there IS opposition here.
There's also local elections which are SUPER important. Every left community outreach org I've talked with or read up on pushes local voting and they're probably accomplishing more than the average online leftist arguing The Ideal Revolution. We GOT here because the right wing is VERY good at mobilizing a voting base and they have spent DECADES purposely starting from the local level up. Q-anon and openly white supremacist groups are targeting city councils, school boards, all that.
Go to ballotpedia.org, look at everything down the ticket. Then look up that person's social media. See who they're friends with. See what they were posting about two years ago. Look at who follows them and who they surround themselves with.
It's boring. It also often just takes me a few hours or less in an afternoon to look it up and vote down the ballot. The president really is the LEAST important part of the vote except for how they can shape their party direction (moreso for Republicans than Democrats. Republicans tend to fall in line with whoever their Top Man is. Because they're fascist adjacent at best and outright fascist at worst.)
Also most importantly for a lot of you lefties (especially younger ones):
Ideology and Reality are often not compatible. Do not trust that a great Revolution will overturn everything and Fix It because a lot of problems are rooted in the cultural, not political. Revolutions more often than not end in such massive death and upheaval that a fascist power just comes in and promises order anyway. Also even if you DO pull off a revolution, the moderates and neolibs and conservatives will still be here. People will still be complicated and won't fit into ideology. And I think it's pretty substantial that so far I only see a whole lot of talk about how the system needs to be torn down but not what could realistically take it's place. People have been trying to make a perfect system of government since we started living in tribal groups bigger than a village. An ideology is good for an aspiration and basis "if I could have my ideal what would that look like?" but reality will almost never fit that ideal, and you have to be able to learn how to not throw out "slightly better" because it isn't perfect.
I am not a politician or political scientist. I'm not a sociologist. I do not know how to "fix it." I don't think anyone solidly does. But I know that just saying "the system sucks I won't participate" doesn't change the system, and could cause greater harm to those who are in more danger from it than me. I hold my nose and vote based on the approach of harm reduction (even a TINY reduction of harm is a reduction). I expect all politicians to be rat bastards, I try to help my community and friends and work towards what I actually want from that level up. The vote is the base layer.
(anyway Robert Evans on Behind the Bastards recently put it really well. He's a half feral anarchist bastard Man who also believes voting can't fix the system or even change much, but he said he still votes because "voting won't cause more harm and there's ALWAYS a chance that I'm wrong about what it can accomplish." Basically if he's wrong and voting DOES make a slight difference, then he is causing harm by not doing it.)
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