#man or muppet goes hard

[givemeyourknees]

This shit

This fucking masterpiece

goes so hard, man.

Istg this is the shit getting me through my mocks

#muppets most wanted #sam eagle #the muppets #cinema #music #This shit goes so hard #art #am i a man or am i a muppet #I'm an idiot that's what #Anyways #This goes hard asf #Thank you Muppets most wanted

[changetyre]

Can you feed me a fic?

Reader being Landos/Oscars gf and she wears something w big boobage so the boobs are unmissable and the bf eyes just don’t leave her cleavage for a damn time and he gently touches them and goes oink oink

Or he gets turned on and they have a spicy time in his drivers room

Or both

Stay hydrated love

One each II LN4 x Reader x OP81 ⓈⒽ

SUMMARY: Your boyfriends were so different to each other but when it came to you they were both a menace.

WARNINGS: Suggestive content...18+? First non smut fic here wow!

A/N: I know the request said one or the other but why limit ourselves like that you know I'm a sucker for poly fics anyways ;) This is short but open to making a part 2 if requested 👀

"You're going to dinner in that?" Oscar asked utter shock audible in his voice as he stared unashamedly at your chest.

"Well yeah, I-" You were about to explain when your other boyfriend walked out of the bathroom.

"WOAH!" His eyes opened wide, a smile forming on his face as he stared right at your boobs.

You'd bought yourself what you thought was a nice fancy dress for the end-of-year McLaren dinner they were going to with your boys, yes it was a little more revealing than usual but you didn't expect the boys to be this shocked about it.

"Come to Daddy." Lando giggled as he approached you with his pointer finger before poking one boob and then the other. "oink oink." He poked each one as he said so.

Lando giggled while Oscar simply rolled his eyes at his man's antics unable to hold back the smile. Oscar was often more serious and reserved while Lando was as immature as they came often saying the first thing that came to mind something that frequently got him in trouble.

"Why are you showing everyone our babies?" Oscar asked this time as he cupped your breasts on each side squeezing them together creating even more cleavage between the slit of your dress.

You weren't even surprised with the boys touching you so much often having a hard time with keeping their hands to themselves but you still found their behavior right now hilarious.

"It's a dinner dress you muppets. Now be sensible and keep your hands off...and eyes up here." You stepped back causing Oscar's hands to fall at his sides yet you still saw how both their eyes kept staring straight at your boobs.

"BOYS!" You clapped in front of their faces making them snap out of their trance.

"aww, but baby." Lando pouted at the fact that you wouldn't let him stare.

"Right, I'm gonna change." You sighed defeated as you noticed even Oscar was having a hard time not staring and he was normally the one with a little more self-control.

"NO!" They both shouted at the same time, Oscar grabbing your hand to stop you.

"No, don't...we'll behave." Oscar tried to remain serious but you saw the little smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Can we at least give you a kiss? One each?" Lando asked, a smirk visible in his face which you knew meant he was up to something.

"Yeah..." You replied unsure of what he had planned.

"Kay." He chirped happily leaning forward, you puckered your lips ready for the kiss but jumped slightly when you felt his lips against your left boob and then your right.

"Lando!" you yelled when you felt his teeth on your right boob.

"My turn." Oscar leaned down kissing your right boob and then your left as you also felt his teeth on your left boob this time.

"BOYS!" You pushed Oscar back quickly running to the bathroom to see the quickly forming mark on each of your boobs.

"What is your problem?" You called out to them coming back out to see them both proudly smirking at each other.

"C, mon let's go to dinner we don't wanna be late." Oscar reached his hand out to you.

"I can't go to dinner with a hickie on each boob!" You huffed annoyed.

"Sure you can." Lando shrugged.

"We have to make sure everyone knows what's ours," Oscar replied.

You felt tingles run through your body in between your legs as Oscar said so, suddenly finding yourself speechless.

"C, mon darling." Oscar walked to you placing his hand around your waist before he pulled you to him giving you a quick yet passionate kiss, feeling as his tongue traced your lips before pulling away.

You didn't even have time to catch your breath before you were pulled to your other side where Lando did the same kissing you as if he was trying to collect the spit Oscar had just left on your lips.

"mhm." You moaned/whined as you felt Lando pulling away.

Your lips were glistening with the spit of both your boys as you stood breathless between them.

"Off we go then." Lando took your other hand while Oscar still held your other as they walked you out, their plan of getting you hot and bothered off to a great start.

Part 2

#f1 x reader #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 smut #f1fic #formula 1 #changetyre #oscar piastri smut #oscar piastri #lando norris smut #lando norris #lando norris x reader x oscar piastri #polyfic #f1polyfic #f1 poly #oscar piastri x lando norris #op81 x reader #ln4

[askmerriauthor]

Homie. Darling. Muchaco. Please help me. You're an animator. You've worked in the video game industry. When you get to That One Memory in TOTK (you know which one I mean and if you don't, you will),

Please help me figure out what the fuck is going on with Ganondorf's face rigging

Man, I didn't even need to look anything up: I knew EXACTLY what you were talking about as soon as you said it.

Short Answer: Need more polys.

Long Answer: It's simultaneously a case of limited model structure and potentially some degree of intentional design choice specific to Ganondorf's presentation in this particular game.

Discussion below the jump, just for the sake of not stretching out people's dashboards. No worries about spoilers: none of this is story-relevant.

So! To give a very broad strokes bit of coverage on the wide and varied nonsense that is 3D modeling, this is a case of Topology. The basic thrust is that topology is the overall structure and layout of the mesh that makes up the 3D model's various shapes. The lower the polygon count on that mesh, the more angular its structure and the less capacity for deformation it has. The higher the polygon count, the smoother its structure and the greater its capacity for deformation. The trade-off, however, is that low-poly models are easier for a game engine to render. High-poly models are a massive drain on processing power, to say nothing if they're built inefficiently with a bunch of wasted geometry bogging things down.

Here's an example of a low-poly model on the left and a high-poly model on the right.

So when you want to make a character emote, you're basically grabbing a bunch of those polygons around the face and moving them around to shape the face into the desired expression. If you don't have a lot of polys to play with, it causes folding and tearing issues where the model and its textures do some pretty wonky shit.

Something both BoTW and ToTK have going for them is that they're actually very low-poly games, which is extremely helpful in making the games run as smoothly as they do given the world size and seamless loading. The lighting and texture work do A TON of heavy lifting to make the game look as good as it does. Really look at these models closely and you can see how angular they are. Look at Zelda's outstretched hand or how sharply light falls across the character's features. In the bottom right, notice how you can see the sharp points that make up Zelda's shoulders? They're not rounded; they're angled just enough to give the general illusion of a curve at a glance. Same goes for her eyes; you can count the angles that make up the shape of her eye but, at a distance and at a glance, they look big, round, and doleful.

Something you can also notice is when characters talk, a lot of them have little to no facial deformation. Mineru, for example, basically has a one-hinge Muppet mouth outside of pre-rendered cutscenes. A lot of characters' eyes are basically painted onto their faces and switch between static texture shapes as opposed to being fully rendered and animated orbs modeled into their heads.

Ganondorf actually has a fairly complex character model, especially compared to Link or Zelda, but he doesn't have a lot of model deformation. Basically the only parts of his head that move are his eyes/brows and mouth/jaw. If you look closely around his eyes you can see they're rendered basically as triangles. There's only two or three points along their shape the model can deform at. Further, since the rest of his face doesn't really deform when he emotes, it means the only thing that really moves are those small key elements. Which yields moments like this:

The animators are basically pushing his expression as much as they are actually capable of with this model's limited structure. See the hard fold in the lower eyelid, or the fact that his teeth aren't attached to anything inside his jaw? It does the job though; it overall looks good and, in the moment this scene happens, really adds something to the unsettling nature of what's going down.

I mentioned before that there may be a certain intent as well. Something specific to Ganondorf in this iteration is that, more than ever, he's become an Oni. Ganondorf's character design has slowly been leaning toward more Japanese-specific visual concepts over the past few appearances but he's gone full yokai for ToTK. Not just in his build, but in his clothing and weaponry. Dude is swinging around a kanabo for the first time ever in the franchise.

In Japanese mythology and Noh theater, a Red Oni basically functions as the embodiment of all the worst parts of mankind. They're greedy, brutal, cruel monsters who revel in causing destruction. If you want to look at their good aspects, it's traits like passion, ambition, and a wild spirit. But, overall, they're the bad guys. Ganondorf is 100% depicted as a Red Oni in ToTK. So when you keep that in mind, add in the implications of what Ganondorf just did in that scene, and consider the traditional appearances of a Red Oni...

...then that face-breaking grin makes a lot more sense.

#totk #botw #ganondorf #legend of zelda #animation

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie Prompt: I thought I saw a sign for Roy's Garage and it got me thinking.... Mechanic!Roy and Footballer!Jamie 😉 Think of the absolute possibilities. Especially just of Jamie absolutely drooling as this man comes out in a black tank top to help him with his car or rescue him from the side of the road.

Just imagine 😍

AAAAAAAAAAAAA

YES

——

Look. Jamie knew when the light turned on he should’ve probably paid attention. He can look back and see how that was a misstep. Too fucking late now though.

He’s sitting on the hood as the truck pulls up. Thank god it’s at least not too hot or cold out. Or god forbid raining. He watches as the person in the truck backs it up with ease.

Jamie blinks when the man with curls and a shirt that would put some of Jamie’s worst to shame slips out of the truck. Shit he’s built. How is that man not ripping that tank.

“You Jamie?”

Lord his voice makes Jamie want to dive down to his knees right here and now.

“Yeah course mate how many other idiots with Porsches you see out here? Know you know my name I get yours yeah?”

The angel blinks. “Roy.”

Jamie grins, the man almost stumbles back at the smile. “Jesus okay come on hop off. Let’s see what you did.” Jamie slips off the hood with a huff. He didn’t do anything. Not his fault the little red light turned on.

Roy pops the hood and bends over. Jamie thinks he could die right here.

“You don’t have any fucking oil.”

Jamie blinks. “Isn’t oil in a car bad?”

Roy stares into Jamie’s soul. “Are you really as much as a muppet as the paparazzi makes you seem?” Jamie opens his mouth to defend himself but what come out is.

“You know who I am?”

Jamie goes a nice shade of pink. Well fuck that. Jesus Jam way to fuck that quickly. “Who doesn’t know who you are? The kid who brought it back. You said god kisses your foot. Was kinda hard to miss that.”

Jamie winces. He said a lot of shit. “I was young and stupid?” Roy snorts and closes the hood. “Sure. Now be a good boy and hop in the truck. Gonna need to tow it.”

Now look. Jamie doesn’t have a habit of flirting with people who are just doing their jobs. That’s rude and all. Can’t escape if they feel pressured. But this man. This beautiful Greek god of a man just told Jamie to be a good boy. He can’t not do something with that information.

“Can I suck you off?”

Jamie slaps himself as soon as the words are out. Jesus Christ what is wrong with him today. One hot man and all his swagger goes sailing out the window.

Roy let’s out an actual laugh, he gently pushes Jamie towards the truck with a hand on his elbow. “Come on not now. Maybe if you say yes to dinner yeah? I own the shop and it’s late enough we could just eat there?”

Jamie stares at Roy. He can’t believe his luck. “Thank fuck my car broke down huh?” Roy laughs and squeezes his wrist. “Yeah. Starting to be thankful you’re a muppet who doesn’t know how car oil works.”

“Got a mechanic to do that for me now yeah?” Roy snorts again and shoves Jamie gently, “need to see how much of a prick you are first but yeah sure.”

Jamie whoops, he won the lotto. Can’t believe his luck. Roy shakes his head and gets the car up onto the truck. He slips into the drives seat and takes Jamie’s hand. “Only holding. Be nice.”

Jamie grins and leans a little closer. He didn’t expect this but he’ll take it any day of the week.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #mechanic roy #roy kent x jamie tartt #royjamie #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso #IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG

[foreos]

The Muppets Present: The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

based on @the-muppets-present. saw their rule list and felt inspired. might do the other hatchetfield shows later if i feel so inclined :)

i just felt like the story of “average office worker who hates musicals gets trapped in a musical” was just begging to be muppetified.

so, without further ado,

ted- guys i went through so many options for ted. it was immediately hard. eventually i decided on rizzo, because i feel like similarly to ted, he’s kind of an asshole that causes problems for himself and everyone around him. plus, the “kick my head!” scene is even funnier if ted is like. one foot tall.

bill- kermit. i think kermit can and should be a sad dad. bill is like the most earnest man in hatchetfield and the idea of kermit being deeply disappointed that his friend won’t help him reconnect with his estranged daughter because he hates musicals so much is so funny to me.

professor hidgens- gonzo. duh. camilla is alexa. gonzo is the most eccentric bitch in the cast and would 100% kill people to get his musical produced. imagine gonzo shouting “come on you bastard!” at the apocalypse. gonzo would get struck by lightning and climb out of a pile of his friends’ bodies. he just would.

charlotte- miss piggy. stay with me here. from a meta standpoint, i always find it funny when piggy plays the secondary female role in a muppet movie and gets annoyed about it in interviews. from a character standpoint, post-infection charlotte’s high energy would be great to see if it was performed by the one and only piggy. imagine miss piggy singing join us and die. imagine the beginning part. she just beats the shit out of rizzo. gonzo shoots her.

mr. davidson- fozzie. idk i just got a mental image of him putting the newspaper down like jeff blim does at the beginning of the song and then fucking. waggling his ears.

sam- this one was hard because i had to think of you tied up my heart and show me your hands. i eventually picked link hogthrob. sam’s a pig, link’s a pig, etc.

alice- janice. hear me out. it’s not just because she’s “the other girl muppet.” imagine if alice just looked at bill and went “whatever, man” and walked away. truthfully thinking more about watcher world than tgwdlm for this one.

paul- jon matteson. paul stays the same, babeyyy. i think it just adds another fucking layer to his panic because not only is everyone randomly singing around him, they’re fucking muppets. just imagine la dee dah dah day if he was surrounded by muppets. he’s just some guy in a weird situation, and just some guy he shall stay.*

emma- lauren lopez. so i am breaking the number one rule of muppetfication to keep emma the same, but there’s a method to my goddamn madness. the only person paul can relate to in hatchetfield is the one other human being. plus, again, imagine the end of inevitable with emma screaming and crying while surrounded by fucking muppets.

*so i lied. just some guy he shall not stay. when inevitable starts, you first hear paul’s voice. he’s singing, just like he does in the show. emma very quietly goes “paul?” the same way, too. but what’s different is you can’t see paul. the camera pans over.

paul is a muppet.

he’s one of the lookalike ones, like from the first two episodes of the show and the jason segel one from the 2011 muppet movie.

“paul, you’re scaring me” indeed.

#the guy who didn't like musicals #hatchetfield #starkid #the muppets #would have loved to get rowlf in here #idk where though

[imagitory]

So my mum and I were revisiting one of our all-time favorite Christmas movies, The Muppet Christmas Carol, and I think maybe -- just maybe -- there's some really fun symbolism we've all been missing out on. And it all has to do with our main character Scrooge and the color red.

Okay, so at the beginning of the film, Scrooge is in all black, from head to toe. It makes him this wonderful dark shadow over the rest of the cast, and also makes him immediately stand out when he's in public, since everyone else is much more colorfully dressed.

Contrast this especially to the people who are closest to him, Bob Crachit and his nephew Fred.

Well, well, isn't this interesting...both of them have red in their costumes. Even later on, at Fred's Christmas party, we see his wife also wearing red.

The Ghost of Christmas Present -- the ghost who in this film arguably influences Scrooge the most out of all of them -- has a bright red beard...

Oh yes, and we mustn't forget that our favorite narrator "Charles Dickens" is also wearing a bright red coat. (Even his friend Rizzo has some red in his scarf.)

Red as a color can mean lots of different things symbolically -- violence, passion, anger, courage, danger...but I think the one most relevant to this reading is love and warmth. Why? Because even when we see Scrooge as a young man prior to the "all black" treatment, his definitive color is a dark blue.

Notice how much cooler young Scrooge's overall color palette is compared to the much flashier, rosier Fozziwig. (And yes, I think that rosy palette is on purpose -- in the film, Scrooge even describes Fozziwig as being "as hard and as ruthless as a rose petal.") It also makes it so that when Scrooge meets Belle (at this point dressed in pale green with pink rose details), their palettes compliment each other a little bit more, even if Belle's look is still softer, lighter, and warmer in tone to Scrooge's cool, serious ensemble.

But when Belle and Scrooge part ways, we see them wearing colors that contrast much more. Scrooge is still in cool, detached blue, but Belle is in...

Red. Specifically, like Bob and Fred, she has red right around her neck, in the form of her bonnet's ribbon. And it's presumed that over time, after losing Belle and withdrawing more into himself and his own greedy self interest, that Scrooge lost the remaining color of his life and became the cold, black-hearted moneylender we see in the film.

Then of course Scrooge goes through this radical transformation thanks to the Ghosts of Christmas, as we all know...and the very first Christmas present he receives, as a thank you for his charity, is from one of the charity workers, played by Beaker. What is it?

A red scarf.

It's a gift given in the spur of the moment, and yet from Scrooge's reaction, we can tell it's something foreign to him. It's likely it's been ages since he's received such a modest, and yet heartfelt gift from anyone. Scrooge feels the warmth of the gesture, not just because a scarf keeps one's neck warm, but because it was given out of such sincere gratitude and kindness. And as startled as he is by it, he responds with such sincere joy, and wears it happily for the rest of the day. He wears that warmth as easily as Fred and Bob wore it earlier in the film -- as if it's become a part of him. And in a strange way, it has.

For the first time, arguably in his whole life, Scrooge has a true understanding of selfless, loving warmth. The warmth that he should and does feel for the people most central to his life and identity -- his nephew and niece-in-law, his loyal subordinate, his first employer, his first love...even the Spirits who taught him the true "meaning of the season." A kind, generous warmth that permeates the entire story of A Christmas Carol because it's what Charles Dickens loved so much about the holiday season and so wished to spark in his audience.

#the muppet christmas carol #analysis #opinion #the muppets #christmas #ebenezer scrooge #a christmas carol #disney

[king0fbr0kenhearts]

Headcanons and projecting onto the St Cassian choir

But you can't tell which is which

Noel is such a picky eater, he'd rather starve to death than eat a fucking carrot and all that shit

And Ocean will literally shove them down his throat if she needs to

Mischa really hates candy corn. Idk why i just get the feeling that he just hates it

Penny would really like those doll repainting and thrift shop makeover videos

Ricky LOVES the muppets HE GOES FUCKING BANANAS FOR THOSE FUCKING FELT CREATURES (me and @severely-nearsighted 's headcanon)

He even has a Kermit plush in his backpack he carries around at school

Penny and Mischa share a fucked up music taste, their playlist consists of Mary on a cross by Ghost to The dying song by Slipknot to Superman by Eminem to fucking Boys will be bugs by Cavetown (and some Bad Egg in there too of course) and more music genres that clash together chaoticly

Constance Ocean and Noel are literally the best people at sleepovers. They've got the gossip, the games, the spicy truth or dare questions

But ocean would be the first one to fall asleep

You bet your ass Noel pull the best pranks on her

But for the love of fuck, the insomnia is strong with this one, the man can't sleep for the life of him

Ocean would be the person to be trying so hard not to puke on a school trip on the bus

Ricky would be the type of person to make his own stickers

He and penny make some for the choir

They'd also give them cool rocks they find

Constance has a music box her mom gave her and she plays it every night before she goes to bed

Ricky has a HUGE I TELL YOU HUGE collection of McDonald's and burger king toys from when he has when he was younger and he keeps them in a box on his room

Penny makes the choir funny hats with cardboard and glittery foamy for special occasions

Mischa's a trans man and his deadname is Natalia so when he met Talia online he thought "is this an account i don't remember making or-?"

Ocean doesn't like getting yelled at, just raise your voice at her and she will cry

Noel gets what i like to call ✨the 3 am zoomies✨

He just walks around his room when he's bored and imagining random lil scenarios in his head

Ok that's it bye-

#ride the cyclone #rtc #noel gruber #ricky potts #mischa bachinski #constance blackwood #jane doe #ocean o'connell rosenberg #rtc headcanons

[spiderh0rse]

freeman's mind notes part two, e6-e10.5. under cut, long. formatting is different this time. will carry on in this way.

e6

"safety's off" sir. Sir you've just said it was a Glock. You fool. You absolute buffoon.

"clip" IT IS A MAGAZINE

I cannot respect a man who watches Die Hard this much. I just can't.

love how he reacts to the houndeye teleporting in. Flat "No."

mimics houndeye noise :>

heard Gman movin around on the catwalk above

electricity doesn't do a ton to him this first go around but does hurt and seems to paralyze him for a moment. Muscles seizing and all that

rescinds his disdain for everyone who died. Admits it's a bit difficult to live under the circumstances

"white men in armoured hazmat suits can't jump" SIR

[underwater mumbling] sounds pretty damn frantic. Genuine fear of dying by his own hand. I'd wager he thinks he's the only one that could do it.

bounces back quickly!

just goes and shoves some words together. For fun!

dislikes the ammo being covered in blood. Considers leaving it behind because if that

impacts still hurt. High impact reactive armour this is Not

e7

simian instincts strike again

has seen star trek

"maybe i should've been a bug" well I can study you like one. How's that sound

Kafka's Metamorphosis mention! It's Gregor Samsa that actually turns into a bug though, so. May not have read it.

knows who Shiva is! Not sure of her origin but she does show up in ff7, which is within his range to know about

bullsquid acid tastes like dead caterpillar

yog'sothoth :>

held his mouth open in the canal. Dude.

mouth cancer...

hates puns.

Black Mesa gets money from the dept. of defense

slur count one

is this hl source? Do the crates sway in the ported version?

correctly figures out the useless crate pit room

hates elevator music

e8

audio inconsistent :(

bug murder D: I love bugs.

shouting and breaking stuff in grad school did not help him

says grody. Like a loser.

threatens a man's life again. Doesn't seem to mean it.

calms down easily enough by breakin things

wants to blow up the building. He won't know it but it will be. Your will be honored, sir

came home to a guy impaled on his window's insulated glass. Explained that to the police.

"kind of like glass in a way" fragile and lacking a smell? got it

"GYAHH" high pitched scream!

has been hit by many tasers over dates.

pepper spray is worse.

first instance of sonic damage (gun in air vent)

some guy named Jessie would electrocute himself on his bed and end up paralyzed for an hour for fun. Sounds fun tbh

Steve Irwin... Rest in peace and let's kill all sting rays now

does ask a cowering scientist if he's okay

somehow doesn't see the shotgun in plain sight waiting for him

doesn't always know when he's thinking out loud

e9

peppered steak just like OFF

visibly contemplates shooting a regular bug

actively admits he was considering cannibalism. I can get behind that. Cannibalism win.

"pew!!"

roleplays as a teacher who hits kids with crowbars

wants to be a medieval knight so bad

no vent sharks for us! fan blades instead

afraid of muppets

has whistled Twice now

has seen Jurassic Park.

wishes he could shoot electricity through his hands

has probably seen James Bond

already theorizing about Xens makeup

more bothered by a barnacles death coating him in blood and potentially jamming his gun than being choked

shot in the ear :>

whistles in time with the turret. Echolalia real

doesn't want to look gay. Too late. Even if we assume base Freeman model he does have a ponytail.

slur count two.

HEADCRAB SLAUGHTER PARTY

sounds like he likes coffee and doughnuts

e10

starts off with silly noises and repeating the word "coffee" on loop

Chainsaw noise with his mouth

jason vorhees wannabe

would love to spread bloodborne diseases via hug

has a collection that a human skull would fit right in with. Bones in general? Skulls in general? Human skulls? Doesn't matter, Eddie mention! As of him getting more skulls in cheap.

wants his funeral to be full of explosives and planes

he is not a gerbil.

feels he's only sure of his actions when killing things

watches Jackie Chan movies

and the Addams Family!

gman sighting.

thinks the guy diving through the window is cool. compares him to his own grandfather? neat!

unlike stark can do a pull-up in his suit

cannot break the vending machine glass. has change on him, though. Dorito time.

#freeman's mind #gordon freemind #freemanverse #? #yeah alright #mindverse #rmanotes

[throwra3882]

I came to shout about this. I'm re-watching Our Flag Means Death, and I just finished Episode 4 where they pretend to be a lighthouse and Ed and Stede swap clothes.

At the very end, Ed sees Izzy packing a rowboat to leave, and he climbs down to talk to him and makes up some garbage about killing Stede and replacing him (personally, it sounded like he was being truthful, but at the same time, I think he was also telling Izzy what he wanted/needed to hear), and he says that Blackbeard's crew will need a new Captain. Then Izzy smiles to himself and goes. "What me? I suppose it could be me, yeah." [screenshot below for posterity]

Then Ed claps him on the back and goes "I need you here," sighing as if he doesn't really mean it, and it makes me so mad! Izzy has such a stressful job looking after an increasingly mercurial Blackbeard, and he seems finally fed up with it before the fog, and he promises to leave, and then Ed leads him on about his dream job (I don't think Izzy would ever ask for the position. Loyal to a fault, that one) and then Ed keeps him there. For what? Probably so he can mess around with Stede while Izzy does the hard work and keeps the ship afloat because he knows everyone else are idiots.

Izzy could've been off living his dream life as a pirate captain on the most famous pirate ship ever, and instead he's stuck yelling at a bunch of muppets, even if he's with his beloved Captain.

Anyway, I am so normal about this man.

#israel hands my beloved #izzy hands #israel hands #ofmd #our flag means death #blackbeard #ed teach #edward teach #this probably won't make any sense to someone who hasn't seen the show #sorry #my thoughts

[nightgoodomens]

Ok last bunch of asks, I need a break after today 😂 Thanks for writing in!

I don’t think they will play Aziraphale and Crowley, NG isn’t stupid, neither anyone else who’s putting money into the show. They might shove them somewhere as background or some other role but not playing the two mains. Season 2 already got slapped for not the best plot and how Michael and David saved it with their chemistry. Nobody will try to replace them.

Also considering neither of them have a problem with dressing up as women, David already did for the Nanny part in the show, so to suddenly switch them for female partners would create a lot of backlash because of suggesting men shouldn’t do it.

Im not sure about AL but I wouldn’t be surprised if NG would pull GT into it unfortunately. DT shoves his whole family wherever he can.

Haha I have that person blocked and I don’t really like posting links where people are being muppets 😅

I was completely indifferent to both of them but fans were responsible for me starting to dislike them to be fair. I’m still mostly indifferent, I couldn’t care less about them, just comment if they do anything good/bad because people ask me, but after that they’re gone from my thoughts. I don’t think they deserve *hate*, but indifference or dislike based on their actions - everyone is allowed to make that basic decision for themselves yes. Fans really don’t help with their demands to love partners of idols and that’s in every fandom out there.

If they were to bond they would have bonded a long time ago and I wish they never started this whole wife thing because it only highlighted how much they don’t care about each other. The thing is, they shouldn’t be required to “bond”. Just because Michael and David fell for each other, it doesn’t mean the women must bond too. There is age and character difference between them, and I don’t think bonding over failed careers and depending on men and getting knocked up on the one night stand would be healthy. Georgia has her best friends, Anna could do with making friends her own age preferably away from the business.

No matter whether someone likes them or not, to expect them to be treated on the same level as Michael and David is insane. And it drives me insane when people think they have the talent to play female version of Crowley and Aziraphale. MS and DT have years of experience in the business and to compare them is a pure insult to them. They got in that business through their hard work too, not a famous surname supporting them.

You are NEVER required to love your idols’ partner/family. That’s just shit that fandoms come up with. Nobody in real world goes oh that actor is neat… oh no I need to love his whole family now!

AL and GT acting “careers” are based on famous surnames supporting them. If they were good someone else would have picked them up. I’m not going to pretend they’re good to be a good little fan according to the fandom. I’d rather be disliked in the fandom than lie to myself and others.

If someone wants to suck up to them, love them, that’s absolutely fine, but to expect others to do so is just a no.

When you think about it, knowing that any shit you post will be seen as iconic… and you don’t have much to show for yourself… well yeah. You’d be raiding on people loving you for simply having the famous surname. Imagine the world where you have to do nothing and people think you deserve the best roles and all the love and being called a queen. Neat. What a sweet life of privilege.

I think with her liking to put him down especially on his big days shows her insecurity. It’s never about him, it’s always about her on those days. It’s sad. I’m glad he now has MS who makes it all about him on those big days. And after too.

I hate those selfies tbf. It’s like… this is your moment to say damn my awesome man got an award. But no it’s “mine” and her holding it and making him take the selfie, or her staring into a camera and making him snuggle up to her for show to show where his place is. Bleh. If she was comfortable with who she is, she wouldn’t need to remind him of his place every time it’s supposed to be his happy day.

And I’m aware majority thinks those selfies are cute - good for them, I wish I thought that too, but they give me the creeps instead.

#NightGoodOmens talks PR #NightGoodOmens talks Michael and David

[fictionadventurer]

Have you ever seen the Alistair Sim Scrooge? My personal favorite.

PS What do you think of the theory that Scrooge's dad was also visited by the three spirits?

I have now!

After getting this ask, I was shocked to discover that I'd never watched a straightforward adaptation of A Christmas Carol. I thought I'd seen a million versions, but upon reflection, all the ones I've seen were either the Muppet version, stories where fictional characters from other franchises play the roles, or shows that adapt the basic framework to another setting. Since I've seen praise for the Sim version elsewhere, I figured this was a good place to start.

Some thoughts:

Sim's Scrooge is slimy. Playing up how odious he in his demeanor and body language. (Made me think of how some people play Mr. Collins from Pride and Prejudice).

The acting style was very old-fashioned and theatrical and it took some getting used to.

Bob Crachit was excellent. Just a nice, steady guy. I'm starting to suspect that Crachit's a role that's hard to mess up. There are lots of different flavors of "cheerful everyman" that can all feel like a valid fit for his role in the story.

I liked that this version included the "spirits walking the Earth and bewailing their inability to help" scene, even though it looked really weird.

The Christmas Past section had a lot of odd changes. Scrooge's father hates him because his mother died giving birth to him (even though in the book, Fanny is younger than him). Belle is now called Alice for some reason. They seemed to be trying to create a "Scrooge was terrible because of his relationship with his father" narrative that doesn't really match the book.

I don't think either the past or present sections captured the joy of the Christmas parties.

There's a reason the book didn't go into detail about Scrooge's business dealings. The board room meeting was so boring and I couldn't follow it at all.

On the one hand, it's interesting to see the extra scenes about Scrooge's rise in business. On the other hand, I have a very hard time believing all these events took place at Christmas.

The Ghost of Christmas Present was excellent. I loved how they explicitly made the Spirit of Christmas about having Christian charity. (Though I'm not sure I like the notion that the Spirit himself lives all year--he's tied to the festival, and if every day is Christmas, then none of them are.)

I'm impressed that they included the scene with Want and Ignorance.

The change in Scrooge's arc was interesting and a bit baffling. Making him recognize the need for change early on but thinking he's too old to change. It makes him rather cowardly, and I'm not sure how the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come would motivate a man like that--this could seem to be confirming his idea that he's past hope.

The thieves selling Scrooge's things were an excellently entertaining (if terrible) group of Cockneys.

By far the best part of the story was its adaptation of Stave 5. It's so much fun to see the extra scenes of everyone reacting to Scrooge's change. I doubled over laughing when he started chasing after his terrified housekeeper. The scene of the maid encouraging him to go see Fred was adorable. Loved how Tiny Tim guessed the turkey was from him.

My very favorite bit was Scrooge saying, "I don't know how I can be so happy. I don't deserve it. But I just can't help it." I keep thinking about it--it's such a lovely expression of how redemption is a gift that goes far beyond what we have earned.

I don't think I've ever heard the theory that Scrooge's father was visited by the three Ghosts, but I don't think I'm a fan. I don't like the idea of the Ghosts interfering so much in this one family. I much prefer a mundane explanation for Scrooge's father's change of heart.

#answered asks #a christmas carol

[duckduckhjonk]

Duck's Rendition of Muppets Mayhem Season 2 Track 1.

hi ho muppetblr, I'm posting this now so I don't overthink it tonight.

Word Count; 2711

Please note; this entire thing is going to be extremely self indulgent, not in a shippy way, just, me taking headcanons i have about the characters and running far with them. This is also not beta read. I got too silly and posted it without anyone beta reading it. With that being said; Enjoy!

The bus was a complete bust. As hard as any of the band tried, it would not start back up. All it would do was sputter pathetically and spew smoke. As the Electric Mayhem all took turns looking pathetically at the now exposed engine, Nora got immediately to work calling a mechanic. After the call had been placed, she quickly turned around and approached the band.

“I just got done calling a mechanic, they should be here soon,” She announced happily.

The band cheered in delight at this information. Before long, they ended up back inside while waiting for the mechanic to arrive. While the Mayhem gathered around the table, Nora and Moog took a moment in a separate room to discuss a few things.

“Do we have any idea of where to go first?” Nora asked.

“Nah, the band usually just goes wherever the road takes them,” Moog explained, “They talk to the venue day of usually.”

Nora took a deep breath, still obviously getting used to the Electric Mayhem’s strange ways of doing what they do. Moog noticed this and quickly tried shifting topics.

“Uh, how long until the mechanic gets here?” He asked.

Nora checked on her phone for a moment before replying, “They’re about… five minutes away?”

“Awesome,” Moog answered awkwardly.

The air around them became rather awkward. That was until Nora noticed on the other side of the room, a polaroid camera sitting alone and unaccompanied. She walked over and picked it up.

“This is Zoot’s camera…” She said quietly, “I don’t think he remembers he doesn’t have it.”

Nora swiftly rushed out of the room, Moog quickly followed behind her. She headed into the main room where the band was set up in a circle, Dr. Teeth passing out cards. Nora pulled up a seat next to the saxophonist and handed him the camera.

“You seem to have misplaced this,” She said as she did so.

“My camera. Man, where did I leave it?” Zoot exclaimed, visibly excited to see his camera again. Almost immediately he snapped a picture of Nora, the flash leaving her stunned for a second.

“You, uh, left it here when everyone went off on their own to do solo projects,” Nora explained, trying to wipe the remnants of the flash from her eyes.

“We split up? When?” Zoot asked, now much more distressed.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now, because we’re back and better than ever,” Dr. Teeth interjected, throwing Zoot another card.

“What’re you even playing?” Nora asked as she watched Zoot sort the cards in his hand very poorly.

“A very ancient game about sorting cards into the most pairs and going fishing,” Dr. Teeth explained. Go fish. It was quite literally go fish.

Nora blinked for a moment, before being interrupted by the sound of a knock on the shack’s door. She quickly got up to answer it. On the other side was a very tired looking and rather gruff lady. She explained she was the mechanic and was here to fix the bus.

“Oh, terrific, it's right this way.” Nora led the mechanic to the bus.

The mechanic immediately got to inspecting it. She seemed quite shocked with the issues with it. The gruff mechanic began asking a few questions about the bus. Nora explained how it used to travel a lot but had been sitting in the garage for quite some time. This caused the mechanic to sigh.

“Look, It’ll take a bit,” She explained to Nora, “Are you willing to wait maybe about a few hours?”

“Yeah, take as much time as you need,” Nora reassured.

“Good, I’m gonna need it,” The mechanic grumbled.

~

Meanwhile, back inside the shack, the band was deep into an oddly heated game of go fish. Nora stood next to Moog and watched the chaos of it unfold.

“Hey, uh, Janice,” Floyd started, sounding desperate and tired, “Do you have any sevens?”

“Ooh, as much as it pains me to say this, I, like, don’t have any sevens,” Janice responded, unphased by Floyd’s desperation, “Go fish.”

Floyd let out a loud ‘nooo’ as he reached for the pile. He put the card into his ever expanding hand of cards. Notably his hand was much larger than the rest of the band’s. That mixed with the lack of matches near him made him a guaranteed loser of this intense game.

“Lips, do you, like, have any kings?” Janice asked.

Lips merely nodded and handed Janice a card. She took that card and matched it with a different one in her hand of just three cards, now leaving her with two.

“Zoot, dyou hav annines?” Lips asked in his typical mumbly fashion.

Zoot, who must have been asleep, shook himself awake before frantically looking through his cards. “Uh, go fish.”

Lips grumbled as he grabbed a card from the pile. After a few seconds of silence, it had seemed Zoot was once again asleep, having forgotten to ask anyone for a card. Eventually the game faded from their focus, now the band idly reminisced about their older days.

Soon, a thump on the door stirred everyone out of an evening daze. Nora got up and answered it. The gruff mechanic was on the other side.

“Bus is fixed,” She said in a monotone and tired voice.

“Cool, uh,” Nora said, “How much is all of that going to cost?”

“Oh, this is on the house,” the mechanic replied, her voice sounding a little warmer than before, “Just as a favour for my old teacher. Yeah, Lips taught me how to repair old vehicles. I owe him one.”

Nora was quite unsure how to respond. Before she could, though, the mechanic had quickly left. Nora closed the door and rejoined the band.

“We’re good to go!” She announced. The band cheered and all rushed out of their seats and out of the door.

Nora took a slower pace as she met with Moog. The two walked beside each other before stopping between the old bus and Moog’s truck.

“Are you joining us on the bus, or-” Nora began, her voice trailing off.

“Someone’s gotta bring the equipment,” Moog answered, before beginning to climb into the truck, “If you want you can join me?”

Nora paused, debating whether or not to take the offer. A loud thud from the bus prompted Nora to make her choice. Soon both vehicles left.

~

The bus travelled for a while before needing to stop at a gas station to refuel. As it pulled into the gas pump area, plans were immediately made as Dr. Teeth handed Floyd a wallet.

“You pay, I pump,” He offered.

“Works for me,” Floyd replied, “Any snack request?”

“How about one of them crunchy granola bars?” Dr. Teeth asked.

“Gotcha. How about Zoot? Any requests?” Floyd turned towards the back of the bus.

“Huh? Oh,” Zoot mumbled, “Bag of chips.”

“Right on, we’ll be right back.” With that, the fluffy bassman exited the bus, followed by the other members of the Mayhem sans Zoot and Teeth.

The inside of the gas station’s shop was easily described in two words: run down. Despite the grime, ripped up tiles, and obviously dangerous demeanour, the band remained cheerful as they entered. Nora and Moog remained close by.

Almost immediately, the Mayhem had filled a shopping basket with various snacks. The four muppets stood at the front of an isle and went over what all they had picked out.

“We got chips for Zoot,” Floyd began, “Funyuns for Animal-”

“FUNYUNS! FUNYUNS!!” Animal shouted, bouncing up and down.

“Pretzel sticks for Lips,” Floyd continued, unphased by Animal’s shouting, “Veggie straws for Janice, granola bars for Teeth, and Cheez-Its for me.”

Once everything was listed off, the band stopped crouching around the basket.

“You two want anything?” Floyd asked, looking at Nora and Moog with a blink.

“Oh, uh,” Moog started awkwardly, “I’m fine, I brought my own snacks in my truck.”

Floyd turned to face Nora with the same question. “Maybe just some gum?” Nora requested.

Floyd nodded, “Any specific brand?”

Nora shook her head, “No, just, uh, mint flavouring, though.”

“Got it,” Floyd replied, wandering into the candy aisle and putting several different brands of mint flavoured gum into the basket. Quickly, the orange haired muppet got distracted and put several other different candies in the basket as well.

Upon reaching the checkout, Floyd began handing the cashier the various treats he had gotten for the band. The cashier appeared increasingly annoyed as he scanned each item.

“Will that be all?” The cashier asked, once he finished scanning.

Floyd handed him a few $20 bills, “Can you put this on the pump with the bus? We got a long road trip ahead of us.”

~

As the members of the Mayhem exited the gas station, they arrived back at the bus to see Dr. Teeth having some kind of conversation over the phone as he pumped gas into the bus.

“I’m telling you, Twinkles, we haven’t even left the state yet, and you’re already trying to start this,” Dr. Teeth said into the phone.

Dr. Teeth visibly winced as the person on the other end, Penny, screamed at him over the phone.

“What is going on with them?” Nora asked with concern.

“Every time Penny and Teeth get back together Penny always starts some kinda lasting drama that she’ll scream for days on end to him about,” Floyd explained, “That's why they’ve broken up at least six times.”

“It’ll all, like, blow over and they’ll break up again,” Janice chimed in, “It all repeats every time they, like, meet.” Despite her usual cheery tone, Janice sounded disappointed about the whole thing.

The band boarded the bus once more and waited a little bit for their keyboard player to get off the phone and rejoin them. After a few more moments of yelling, it all went quiet as Penny had promptly hung up the phone. Dr. Teeth nodded solemnly before rejoining the rest of The Electric Mayhem.

“You alright?” Floyd asked in a respectful tone.

The doctor nodded, “Yeah…” without another word the bus was started up and began to drive away.

~

The band had been driving for a long while. By now the snacks had all been finished, stories had been shared, and chaos ensued. Nora was exhausted by all of this.

“Do you guys even know what venue you’re playing?” She asked.

Dr. Teeth nodded, “We’re here.”

The bus had been parked at a rather large venue. The band all piled out and began spreading out. Nora was last off. Needless to say she was quite confused by all the happenings. Lips communicated with some of the staff, Floyd had Animal by his leash and was being dragged around in an effort to get some energy out of Animal. Janice and Zoot were helping Moog unload equipment, and Dr. Teeth stood next to Nora with a proud expression on his face.

“How do you-” Nora asked, but was quickly cut off by the doctor.

“Just the mellodific magic of the Mayhem,” he answered.

“Weot a gig fo toniht aseen!” Lips called to the rest of the band.

“Well alright!” Dr. Teeth cheered as he hurried to help the rest of the band set up the equipment.

Nora approached Moog, “Now I know why you followed them for so long…” She said exhaustedly.

“They’re really something, huh,” Moog replied.

“Truly… something…” A third voice came, causing both Nora and Moog to flinch.

The voice belonged to a man in a blindingly white suit accompanied by a red tie. His expression was a mix of smug and disgusted and his stance provided an air of superiority to him.

“Who’re you?” Nora asked defensively.

The man chuckled and handed her a business card as white as his suit. “I am Seymour, a representative of Music United. I’ve come to make a deal with you.”

“What… kind of deal?” Nora asked, clearly suspicious of him.

“I propose we give you a large sum of money, and we get the rights to the band,” He offered smugly.

Nora and Moog exchanged equally angered looks. As if to say to each other ‘what kind of gaul does this man have to try that?’

“Yeah, no. Not happening,” Nora answered, quickly attempting to shoo him away.

“How much would change your mind?” Seymour asked.

“None. Now leave,” Nora said rather upsettedly.

“But! Don’t you even care about their futures? Shouldn’t you ask the band first!?” Seymour attempted to argue.

“Yeah, I think the band would agree about not wanting to be sold like property,” Moog chimed in.

Seymour huffed as he nearly tripped on his way out of the parking lot.

“That guy does not seem like a cool cat,” Floyd said from behind Nora and Moog.

“Ooh, his aura was, like, totally sinister,” Janice shivered, “Like a mouldy green bean…”

“You said it,” Nora replied, “But something tells me he’ll be back.”

~

Inside the venue, everything had been set up rather quickly. Kind staff showed Moog to the audio board, and he began doing sound checks with the band.

“Alright, Teeth, you’re up first,” Moog began.

“Well alright.” Dr. Teeth began pressing keys on his keyboard, a snippet of one of their songs.

“Excellent…” Moog said as he adjusted a few things on the board, “Floyd?”

“You got it.” Floyd joined in with the same song and hummed a few lyrics to it.

“Allright, Janice, your turn.”

“Fer sure,” Janice answered as she started strumming. The band was slowly but surely building up.

Moog pointed towards Animal, gesturing for him to start playing. Animal gladly obliged and started slamming the drums. As he did so he growled and shouted at the top of his lungs, enthralled in his own drumming madness.

“Yeah!” Moog shouted, clearly getting into it, “How about some sax?”

“You got it, Mort,” Zoot said before starting to play.

Moog adjusted a few more things on the board while bobbing his head, “Get in there, Lips!”

Lips nodded and joined in. The band revelled in their own jubilee despite the lack of an audience. Although it was quite short lived as the song ended rather quickly. The Mayhem cheered once it finished.

“Awesome! You guys sound great!” Moog shouted.

~

The concert was full of bright lights and life. Despite the short notice, the venue was almost entirely sold out within moments. The Electric Mayhem truly lived up to their name.

Their set list had contained plenty of their album songs, but also contained on the spot covers, each eliciting a roar of cheers from the audience.

But alas, just as quickly as the night began, the concert came to an end. The crowd dispersed and the band celebrated their concert within the greenroom.

“Terrific job out there tonight!” Nora cheered.

“Why thank you,” Dr. Teeth replied, “I think the first night of our most immacurific tour has been quite the success.”

Nora nodded, “Any idea what kind of hotel you want to stay in?” She asked the band.

“Hotel?” Floyd interjected before anyone else could answer, “No way, we sleep on the road!”

Nora felt unsure about this, “Are you sure? I don’t think it's smart to be driving all night like that…”

“Ooh, we, like, don’t drive all night, that’d totally just make us, like, so tired,” Janice explained, “We’re usually, like, parked overnight and totally sleep all together in a big pile! Fer sure!”

~

The band started unloading everything into the truck. Everyone except Lips, who was frozen in horror at the sight of the amount of trash leftover by the fans. As far back as he remembered, everyone threw away their trash on the way out. What had changed?

“Lips? You alright, buddy?” Nora asked, tapping him on the shoulder.

“I donet it,” Lips started, “ereon usto take alleir rashithem, noeave iall oer thround. I’sad fo thnvironment…”

Nora paused. She never really thought about that. Venues usually always had large trash cans. Why would people still leave their trash everywhere? But before she could reply, Lips had vanished into the seats of the venue and was already picking up trash with the rest of the staff.

Something told Nora this was going to be a long tour.

#duck writes #muppets mayhem #mayhem season 2 #muppets #floyd pepper #dr teeth #the electric mayhem #zoot #janice muppets #lips muppet #zoot muppet #look im sorry but this is not beta read i got too silly and didnt feel like waiting

[good-morning-tucson]

LITTLE BABY THING A WEEK 2 REVIEW

flickr - i think this song is super silly. it sounds very somber and serious but its just images. thank you mr. coulton.

resolutions - everything about this song fills me with dread. just completely unavoidable stress. the fear of a new year combined with the slowed background and robotic voice does something to my head. and the counting. its like. oughhh. i can’t properly describe this songs effects on my psyche but know it Has Them.

you could be her - THIS SONG IS SO FUCKING REAL. i can feel everything the song sets up the main character to feel. all of the awful monotony and stuff. this song just reminds me of winter in the most evil way. somewhere theres a hell that was meant for me and i think ive found it #justgirlythings

i will - the only correct way to listen to the beatles

dance, soterios johnson, dance - he didnt have to go THIS hard. this one also makes me think of my foul best friend/gay lover aspen. i could fuck this song UP at karaoke. literally the most song ever. a never ever skip for me no matter the circumstances

so far so good - this is one of what i call “songs i want to listen to while slowly drifting out to the sea, drink in hand.” fills me with joy and hope but at the same time the deepest, saddest pit you’ve ever felt

curl - i think curl goes crazy despite being full red white and blue blooded american and having no interest in curling or canadians. i love it more when its live with paul and storm

chiron beta prime - my (tied) favorite joco song EVER. my first favorite joco song. chiron beta prime is very straightforward and has little room for interpretation to me but sometimes you NEED a good goofy lil sci fi song. the best. concert. ever. version with joco’s muppet laugh and andy bates is the best thing imaginable its joyous

take care of me - this song makes me really upset. he writes songs so real sometimes. he played that accordion solo for real himself i think

a talk with george - this song absolutely grew on me after hearing it live. made me really really really fucking emotional. the way he introduced it too was. ouuuughh the white man and his emotion provoking tunes. it makes my heart hurt

don’t talk to strangers - i don’t listen to this song enough. thank you dad joco

stroller town - i don’t think this song is real. i think i hallucinated this song entirely. i mean it’s not bad. his voice makes my brain go weird

re: your brains: i have the re: your brains shirt. anyway my best friend/divorced gay lover aspen have had many a conversation about the homosexual legitimacy of crazy dave and dr. zomboss from plants vs. zombies because of this song

thing a week 2 might be my favorite thing a week? i haven’t heard the others in a while so i’ll get back to you. but it does go INSANE. it’s got a ton of just amazing songs and some like. pretty good to okay songs. overall i love thing a week 2 so sweetly

#jonathan coulton #joco #thing a week 2

[daincrediblegg]

I need to see a scene, any scene, with the hard cast muppets for the Terror. Please.

Even if it's just a gag that isn't story relevant. Please.

*takes a fat hit from a blunt*

Can you fucking imagine the punished as a boy scene with Hickey but every time the whip cracks all the muppets flinch like "ooh that's gotta hurt" and "I can't watch it's too horrible" (and some stuffing comes flying off him for FULL immersion). Just the thought of Kermit having to say "All hands assemble for punishment. For the crimes of insubordination, neglect of duty, disrespect, brutality, kidnapping and dirtiness, Petty Officer Cornelius Hickey will be flogged thirty lashes as a boy" brings so much serotonin to me but then ofc Lieutenant Rizzo turns to Gonzo Goodsir like "Punished as a boy? What does that mean?" and Gonzo goes "oh I can't watch. this is too horrible for my delicate victorian sensibilities" "AREN'T YOU A DOCTOR? DIDN'T YOU CUT A GUY OPEN IN THE FIRST EPISODE?" "THAT'S DIFFERENT RIZZO"

Afterward Rizzo goes "wow they really did that in those days? Man. Talk about capital punishment. How's he going to sit down? That's gotta hurt"

Then at some point after Kermit keeps saying "again" Fozzy Fitzjames says "Hey Francis don't you think he's had enough?" and Kermit Crozier says "He has to learn who's in charge around here, you know? Hm. Again."

Also Sweetums is the one whipping him because I think it's funny. Thank you and goodnight

#Muppet The Terror #it's getting its own tag now #seriously I almost want to record some of these voice lines myself it's fucking pure comedy gold

[themeganator5000]

May... May I see why you agree with Scooter being gay

Oh god. Yeah, I suppose so. I literally just typed up what would basically be my script if I ever did a youtube video essay rant about this topic (i will never do this, but someone definitely should).

Bear in mind, I literally wrote this like an hour ago in a hyperfixation-induced daze so my friend @hails-the-geek would have something silly to wake up to 😘 So, not exactly written for public consumption, but since you asked so nicely:

SO HERES HOW WE CAN FIX SCOOTER. Scooter the Muppet started out as a nepotistic lil whippersnapper who had little to no morals and only cared about meeting famous people and having a high-paying, low-effort job. Now that's all well and good and a Scooter we have all grown to love BUT ever since Disney has obtained ownership of the Muppets, they have become less of the struggling underdogs and more of a lesser-known classic. This already raises some problems with the overall tone of the characters, especially Scooter, because the only way he was able to get Kermit and the gang to bend to his every whim was to remind them that his very wealthy uncle owned the theatre and the ground it stood on. The fun of his character was that he was a gofer (essentially an intern) whose job it was to take orders from anyone for anything, but with his familial connection to a person in high power he could inversely force any one of the Muppets to take orders from HIM to get just about anything. Now, since the Muppets HAVE no theatre and are usually performing on a soundstage likely owned by the Disney company, Scooter has lost his influence and no longer has the ability to be the narcissist, sassy, two-timing brat he once was. He has been boiled down to his face value as an over-enthusiastic, dorky, wide-eyed fanboy who eagerly goes along with whatever he is told to do. This, of course, was present in the original iteration, but it was always known that if Scooter ever DISAGREED with what he was told to do, he could always find a way around it. Helpful until inconvenient. It is also worth noting that in the original Muppet Show, Scooter was intended to be a young boy around 14 years old, but in more recent adaptations he seems to have aged, being given adult love interests and being shown cage dancing in a nightclub. This brings me to my conclusion; how we can fix Scooter in this modern age and bring back some of that charm that made us adore him all those years ago. The answer is quite simple, really:

MAKE

SCOOTER

🏳️‍🌈 𝗚 𝗔 𝗬 🏳️‍🌈

Richard Hunt, the Muppeteer who portrayed Scooter and many other characters until his untimely death in 1992, was openly gay and a well-loved part of the original Muppet cast. So much so, that Jim Henson personally requested that he be the one to host the memorial service at his funeral, which he did. Richard Hunt said that he based Scooter's personality on his own when he first started working with the Muppets, enthusiastic, eager to please, and definitely trying too hard. While all those personality traits are decidedly still present in today's Scooter, the absence of one crucial piece is blatantly apparent.

𝘏𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺.

While never explicitly stated, Scooter's character can easily be interpreted as gay, exhibiting flamboyant characteristics, having a borderline obsession with Elton John, just kinda being twinkish and boy-toy-like in nature. Whatever the reasoning, there is no better candidate for Disney's First Gay Muppet than the trademark character of the original gay Muppeteer, Scooter. BUT! It is EXTREMELY important to note that there are two ways this could be played: either there are little to no changes in Scooter's personality and he just gets an off-screen boyfriend or something (lame) OR Scooter's personality shifts into a more goofy-sassy gay best friend type of deal where he hangs out with Miss Piggy a bit more and references more modern queer icons (like Beyoncé or something?? idk ask a gay man) and comments on the attractiveness of male guest stars whenever the opportunity arises. This was hinted to in the 2015 series ABC's "The Muppets", but they never fully committed to the bit. Calling Scooter a boy toy is one thing, but having him get caught making out with Walter in the storage closet is another. COMMIT TO THE FUCKING BIT, DISNEY. Let Scooter say "yasss, qween" and "slayyy" and lust over men's bodies I'm not asking for much. You have already denied me Bert & Ernie and Statler & Waldorf, but let me have Scooter. Let me have the one Muppet my ADHD-riddled lesbian ass choice to have a crush on at 14 years old. Let me live out my fantasy of seeing Scooter on a Muppet-themed float at a pride parade. Please Disney, think of the fucked-up adults. We deserve this, we've EARNED this. You've ruined every other part of my childhood with your dirty capitalism, you OWE me this 𝘖𝘕𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘎. You will make Scooter gay. Scooter 𝗜𝗦 gay. Scooter has always 𝘉𝘌𝘌𝘕 gay. And there is absolutely 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 you can do about it.

Thank you for your time.

#i didn’t proofread this i didn’t fact-check anything this is just a direct stream of consciousness from my brain to my thumbs #you notice any mistakes you keep it to yourself hon #also sorry if it’s a little explain-y hailey isn’t as much of a muppet aficionado as yours truly #and uuuuhhhhhhh yeah it’s just a big block of text i’m not cutting it up #listen sweetie you asked for it #ur lucky i like u all so much <3 #muppets #scooter #muppets scooter #scooter muppets #scoowalt #wooter #i don’t fucking know it’s 3am ladies #lookit. lookit what you made me do! i should be sleepin peacefully dog!! #this is. this is what i stayed up to write so i guess it is my fault i’m still awake #but STILL #hailey u better fucin reply to that text #ok. i sleep 😴😴😴 #my posts

[fixfoxnox]

Something In The Orange - Part 4

Summary: Roach goes on his first mission with the 141

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, somewhat graphic depictions of violence, near-death experiences

Note: I am also uploading this fic to my Ao3 if you would prefer to read it there!

Word Count: 6.6k

"Where the liquid fire filled his lungs and his eyes,

silenced any mortal cries

Cold and the grip of death stinging pain, he fought like

hell to keep the wolves away"

"Keep the Wolves Away" - Uncle Lucius

The view of the sunset was particularly breathtaking that night. At least that’s what Roach thought as he stared at the streaks of oranges and pinks that set the sky ablaze. He wondered if tonight, the sunset was really so beautiful, or if he only thought so because of the people surrounding him. 

There was a content feeling that was resting over his chest, a feeling of happiness and belonging that he hadn’t felt since his old life. He’d come close, of course, he had. His friendship with Jackson had filled the hole in his chest for a period, but even that hadn’t completely erased the feeling of longing he had for a life taken from him. 

Though he knew he hadn’t returned to that life again, sitting on a rooftop doing recon with the members of the 141 was close enough that he could feel that bubbling of happiness in his chest. 

“You’re sure this is the building?” Came the question from a rather bored Gaz.

Roach turned to look at him, his fingers tangled in his necklace to help calm his nerves. He was happy, but he was also nervous. Not only were they on the hunt for Makarov, but he knew he had to prove himself to the team. “Unless your information was wrong, that's definitely the building. 

“Makarov was supposed to be here an hour ago,” Came the complaint from Soap, “We’ve been up with no sign of anything. Maybe he backed off?”

“I doubt it,” Price shook his head from his place on the roof, “He’s probably changing his security detail up at several stops. Changing the schedule could throw off any would-be assassin’s plan.”

The roof fell quiet once again. Roach turned back to the almost gone sunset, a smile pulling at his lips. All that was missing was Price calling him a muppet and he would almost think that he was back on his first mission with the group. It was a pleasant sort of reminder. 

“You religious, Roach?”

The question caught Roach completely off guard, his head turning to look at Soap who’d asked the question. The older man was looking at him curiously from his position reclined next to Ghost. He must have seen the confused look on his face because soon he was nodding his head towards the necklace Roach had wrapped around his fingers.

Roach looked down at the cross necklace he’d taken to wearing, “Oh, uh, no. Not really.”

Soap seemed a bit surprised at that, “Why the cross then?”

“It’s a little odd,” Roach said, “When I was on the Demon Dogs there were a couple of times where I just felt like I needed a little comfort.” He shrugged, tangling his fingers with the necklace further, “It reminds me of home a bit. My family is religious.”

“But not you?”

Roach chuckled, “Not me.” He pushed himself up a bit further and directed his gaze down to where Makarov was supposed to eventually make an appearance. “Being who I am, seeing what I’ve seen,” he paused, “It’s a bit hard to stay faithful.”

Soap nodded, “I understand, sorry for asking.”

Roach shook his head, “Oh no, don’t worry. I get it, there’s a bit of a reputation around people with an accent like mine and a belief in God.” Roach paused then, “I suppose asking how you got your call sign would be a bit too much in return?”

Soap gave a chuckle before a wink, “It’s classified.”

Roach gave a grin in response, “That probably means you’ve got it for an embarrassing reason.”

Soap raised a hand over his heart and feigned being hurt for a moment, “What about you, eh? I bet you won’t share how you got the name Roach?”

A grin crossed Roach’s face, “Oh no, mine’s not embarrassing.” Soap motioned for Roach to continue, “I’m hard to kill, so they called me Roach.”

Soap scoffed, “Oh c’mon, that can’t be true.”

“It is!”

“Yeah, okay,” Soap scoffed, “keep it to yourself then.” Roach let out an annoyed huff and gave a roll of his eyes at Soap’s disbelief. Still, he could feel fondness flutter in his chest. 

“Eyes sharp boys,” Price called suddenly, catching the attention of everyone in the group. Looking over the edge of the building with his scope allowed Roach to see three black vans pulling up to the building they believed Makarov was going to be staying in. 

“Three vans,” Ghost reported, “No sightline on the people inside.”

“Guy at the back,” Roach pointed out, spotting one of the men getting out of the last van, “He’s got a weapon.”

“That’s them,” Price breathed, pushing himself closer to the edge of the roof. 

The group waited silently as people in the first and last van stepped out, forming a protective barrier around the second of the vans. The security detail was definitely something that would match up with Makarov, but something about the uniforms rang as wrong to Roach. The men looked familiar, enough that he knew he’d seen them somewhere in his past life, but he didn’t feel confident placing them as Makarov’s men. Finally, the door to the second van was opened. First came more armed guards then, finally, a man in uniform stepped out. Except, the man wasn’t Makarov. 

“What the fuck,” Ghost muttered, “It’s Shepherd.”

“What?” Soap asked, also moving closer to the edge. 

The mention of Shepherd meant that Roach could finally place the men who were standing around as his security, “Shadow Company,” he muttered to himself. The only person who heard him was Gaz, the man shooting him a glance before focusing back on the building. 

“It’s supposed to be Makarov,” Price said, taking the scope that Ghost passed off to him. “Shit. Hold on.” Price messed with his coms for a moment before, “Laswell, we’ve got an issue.” 

Roach could hear a woman’s voice in his ear, “What’s going on? Did Makarov not show?”

“Not only is Makarov not here,” Price said, “But someone else is in his place. Shepherd.”

“What? Why is Shepherd there?”

“That’s exactly what I want to know,” Price responded.

“Shit,” The woman, Laswell, said, “Our informant must have mixed up the two.”

“Lovely,” Price said, pacing the roof, “Absolutely phenomenal. So now I don’t have Makarov, or the clearance to go after the American traitor.”

“Just wait okay, just because it isn’t Makarov doesn’t mean we won’t take this opportunity to bring Shepherd in, just give me a minute John.” The line went silent.

“Laswell better get us clearance,” Soap muttered, “I want to bring the bastard in.”

Roach could feel his hands shaking. His breath went a bit quicker and he couldn’t help but be thankful for the darkness as he was sure he’d gone pale. Chasing Makarov was one thing, but coming face to face with the man who’d ended his first life? That was another deal completely. He continued watching through the scope, with far more shakieness this time. “He’s going inside the building,” he reported quietly. 

“Price?”

“Laswell,” Price responded, “Tell me something good.”

“You’re cleared to go for Shepherd. Your goal is to bring him in alive, but if it comes to it, you’re free to take him out.”

Soap gave a bit of a cheer at the news and the others seemed similarly pleased. Roach tried to ignore the feeling of sickness that crept up his throat.

Roach motioned with his hand for the members of the 141 to follow him through the alleys of the city. They weren’t headed directly for the building that Shepherd was in, but rather one of the various sewer entrances around the area. It wasn’t a very pleasant path, but it would get them into the building without having to worry about any security details.

“You’re sure there isn’t a less…dirty way in?” Gaz asked as they approached the short little tunnel into the sewers. 

“Unless you want to fight your way in,” Roach said simply. His nerves were still fried, but he wasn’t going to back out of the mission. Hopefully, things would go smoothly. 

“That might be preferable,” Gaz muttered as they stepped into the shallow murky water of the sewer system.

The group continued through the sewers, Roach leading them through the tunnels that wound around to the bottom of their target building. The walk wasn’t long, but Roach could feel the atmosphere go tenser the closer they got to the building, the entire squad preparing themselves for an inevitable firefight. 

“This is it,” Roach motioned to the ladder in front of the group, “It’ll put us in the basement.”

“Right,” Price made his way to the front of the group, Roach willingly falling back to let him take over, “Shepherd’s room is on the fourth floor. We’re going to head up and clear the building floor by floor, let’s keep it as silent as possible for as long as we can. Suppressed weapons only for the first few floors.” Roach nodded, pulling a suppressor from his belt and attaching it to his gun as Price continued with his orders. “When we hit the fourth floor, Ghost and Soap will make their way up past us to the fifth floor. If Shepherd realizes we’re there and gets away, he’ll head up to the roof and that nice little heli sitting at the top of the building, if that happens, the two of you will cut him off. Gaz, Roach, you’ll stay with me.”

With everyone in agreeance on the plan, the group started up the ladder, Price in the lead. 

The basement was, thankfully, empty, allowing the 141 to easily move up to the first floor. 

Clearing the first floor was the beginning of the resistance that the group would face. Along with a number of Civies that the group were forced to direct back into their rooms or outside of the building, nearly every hallway that they came to had one or more guards blocking their way. Luckily, everyone in the group had quick reaction times, each of the Shadow Company guards being dropped within seconds. The Second floor was cleared just as easily.

Heading to the fourth floor seemed that it was going to be equally as easy, the group making it through the first area of the third floor without issue. Things were feeling a bit too easy when Roach dropped the guard standing in front of the staircase, so it made sense that only moments later, everything would go to shit. As the group moved towards the staircase, there came a sudden ring of shots from behind them, forcing them to take cover as best as they could. 

“Shit,” Gaz yelled as the group returned fire, “How the hell did they figure out we were here?”

Roach considered their path for a moment. The hotel had cameras, but they’d disabled those in the basement before coming up. The only way that Shepherd's men could have seen them was if, “They probably set up their own cameras!”

“Price,” Ghost called after delivering several quick takedown shots, “We’ve got to move! Shepherds probably getting ready to leave.”

Price gave a grunt in response, shooting several of the men who continued to emerge from down the hallway. “If we try up the stairs they’ll take us out from behind, we have to clear them out first.”

Roach shook his head, he knew if they took the time to clear out the seemingly never-ending wave of enemies, Shepherd would be long gone before they even made it up to the next floor. “That will take too long,” he called, “You guys go, I’ll cover you from here and hold them off.”

“Are you insane?” Came the question from Soap, “You’ll get overwhelmed down here!”

“I’ll be fine!” Roach peeked over the top of his cover and delivered four quick and clean headshots to the four soldiers who’d run into the hallway. “Now go! I’ll cover!”

Roach left the group with no room for arguing, popping out of his cover to provide covering fire, each of the members popping up and making their way back into the stairway. Price was the last to go, stopping to tell Roach, “Stay alive. We’ll be on comms,” before he too stepped into the staircase and left Roach alone to fend off the oncoming Shadow Company members by himself. 

The numbers weren’t too overwhelming, each of the men arriving in groups of four to six, usually he could drop them quick enough that they’d all be dead by the time the next group would run around the corner. The difficult part came when he had to reload, the brief time it took allowed whoever was at the end of the hallway to advance further toward him than he was necessarily comfortable with. There was also the issue of ammo. He knew that he was slowly running out. 

“Price we’ve made it to the fifth floor, took out the guards, no further activity,” Ghost reported over their comms.

“Good, hold steady. Gaz and I are moving toward Shepherd's room. Roach, how are you holding up?”

Roach handled the few men at the end of the hall before responding, “Still alive.”

Roach could have sworn he heard a sigh of relief over the comms, but he wasn’t quite sure who it had come from. “Right, Gaz and I are breaching Shepherd's room now.” 

The knowledge that, soon, Shepherd would be in the custody of the 141 and unable to hurt himself or Ghost gave Roach a bit of comfort. This entire mission had put him on edge, he’d hoped to never be this close to Shepherd ever again. 

After a few more minutes of stopping any members of Shadow Company that dared to show themselves, Roach was pleased to see that the steady flow of Shadow Company members seemed to finally come to an end. Again, his luck seemed to enjoy knocking him back down a level as only a moment after he determined that there would be no more people coming towards him from the hallway, Price reported, “Team be aware, Shepherd is not in his room. It looks like he’s only recently left. Ghost, Soap, be on alert. Gaz and I are going to head up towards you, but it’s possible Shepherd has taken the other staircase.”

“Got it, I’ll cover the east stairs,” Came the voice of Soap, the man sounding more than hopeful that Shepherd would show himself and give him a shot at him. 

“Price,” Roach started, “The hallway down here is clear. No more men that I can see.”

“It’s clear?” Came the confused voice of Gaz, “They’ve probably rerouted their men up here.”

“Alright, good job Roach,” Price called, “Team, be aware we may have reinforcements heading our way. Roach, I need you to head up the east stairs and help us close off Shepherd. Either way he goes he’ll be cut off.”

“On it,” Roach called back. He left his cover and began carefully backtracking towards the eastern staircase, the group had used it to come up to the third floor. 

He was met with little resistance on his way to the stairs, taking out two other guards who’d taken station by the entrance. With careful and quick steps, he made his way toward the door. 

“Entering the east staircase,” he reported before pulling the door open. His entire body went rigid at the sight he was met with before he felt a familiar sting of a gunshot to his chest.

“Roach, what’s your status?” Price and Gaz stopped on the staircase, both sharing a concerned glance at the gunshot they’d clearly heard from who they could only assume was Roach’s comms. “Roach, report. Are you okay?”

There was a moment of silence before some movement from the comm then finally, “Hello taskforce 141.”

Price felt his blood run cold. “Shepherd,” he acknowledged over the comm. “What happened to Roach?”

“He is…out of commission.”

“You-”

“Oh don’t worry, he’s not dead. Yet.”

Price could hear an intake of breaths from his team members, Soap was the first to respond, “You bastard.”

“Now, now,” Came the voice of Shepherd, Price motioned for Gaz to follow him, the both of them beginning a rush back down the stairs, “That’s not very nice.”

“You’re a dead man Shepherd,” That came from Ghost, the man also obviously having started down the stairs if the sound of a door above Price and Gaz was anything to go by.

“No,” Shepherd responded with a taunting lilt to his voice, “I don’t think so. Let this be a warning to you, Price: keep coming after me and you’ll lose your entire team. For now, I’ll leave you only one body.”

“Don’t-” the yell from Soap was cut off by the sound of another gunshot.

The pain of a bullet in his chest worked almost like adrenaline for Roach. His chest was stinging and he felt like he couldn’t breathe for a second. It didn’t help that his frightened mind and heightened senses decided to remind him violently of the first time he’d been shot by Shepherd. 

There was the gunshot, betrayal flooding his system followed by pure panic and an overwhelming heavy feeling in his lungs as Ghost was gunned down only a moment later. With his prior injuries and the new gunshot wound to his chest, Roach could offer nothing but a weak grab at Shepherd's arm when the man grabbed the DSM off of his body. 

He remembers Shepherd tossing his hand off, disgust evident on his face. He remembered briefly coming in and out of consciousness, the feeling of nausea taking him over as he lost more and more blood. He remembers the acrid taste of gasoline in his mouth and the way he wanted desperately to cough and spit the terrible taste from his mouth. He remembered the fire and smoke filling his lungs only a moment later. 

Roach remembered all of these things in the span of a second. He supposed it was a miniature version of his life flashing before his eyes. He was rather surprised, with all of the painful memories of his death, that it was the memory of the neverending darkness before the screaming of being reborn that motivated him to move. Maybe it was the pain of potentially having to start all over again or maybe it was the fear of not getting another chance. Either way, he found himself clawing at the carpet of the hallway and dragging himself away from Shepherd. 

The man wasn’t willing to let him go that easy though, soon kicking him back to his side so he could reach down to take the comm from his ear and throw his side arm down the hallway. Roach reached out to stop him, his hand grabbing the man’s wrist in a move that was oh-so-familiar to him. Shepherd threw his hand off with disgust, just the same as he’d once done. Roach started crawling again. 

He could hear Shepherd behind him, and distantly he registered that the man was taunting the 141, trying to make threats that Roach knew he would make good on. He couldn’t be bothered to listen to what the man was saying, the words going in one ear and out the other as his mind narrowed in on one thing. 

It was a knife, lodged into the head of one of the guards that he’d killed on his way to the staircase. It had been a quick reflex to throw his knife, the memory of Simon teaching him to do it in his past life guiding his movements. The shot to the other guard had also been reflex, one closer to something that Soap would have applauded. Roach thought, distantly, that if he could make it to the knife, he could use it to take Shepherd out. He hoped it would be only the man who would be killed, but he supposed that if he had to die, he’d be fine if only he could take the man out with him. 

Shepherd didn’t even realize he was going for the knife, following behind Roach and kicking any guns they came across out of Roach’s way. He didn’t even notice when Roach draped himself over the body of the guard and pulled the knife from the man’s head. Roach had the blade firmly in his hand when he turned to his back, seeing Shepherd's gun pointed towards him once again, the man ready to deliver a killing shot. 

As quickly as he could, Roach threw the knife at Shepherd, feeling for a brief moment the phantom hands of Simon guiding his movements. The knife hit Shepherd's arm just as he pulled the trigger, the bullet knocked off target as Shepherd dropped the gun in reaction to the sudden pain in his arm. Roach could hear the bullet hit next to his head, but he paid the near-death shot no mind, instead using what strength he had left in his body to lunge for Shepherd's gun. 

He could see Shepherd lunging for it as well, but Roach was quicker, grabbing the handle of the gun and pointing the weapon at Shepherd. He wasn’t quick enough to avoid Shepherd making a grab at the weapon, the two briefly grappling as Roach tried to hold tight to the weapon and find the trigger. Luckily, his finger was able to locate it rather quickly. 

A shot rang out, surprise and pain crossing Shepherd's face. It took the both of them only a moment to realize that Roach had managed to find the trigger and get a shot off. Roach wasted no time in pulling the trigger again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. 

He emptied the entire magazine into Shepherd's body, ignoring as the man went unconscious after the second shot. An odd sense of satisfaction and relief strummed through his body as the gun finally clicked with the sign that he was out of bullets to use. He shoved Shepherd's limp body off of his, pushing himself up and back so he was propped up against the wall. He was still bleeding, and distantly he could feel nausea creeping up his throat and warning him that he was losing too much blood, but he paid it no mind. 

Instead, he stared. Stared with a deep satisfaction at the body of the man who’d killed him and the man he loved. Who’d taken the beautiful wonderful life that Roach had managed to carve out for himself in his first life and stomped it out with a gunshot and a cigar. All at once it felt somehow like things were finally over. It was a sort of final chapter to Roach’s first life, one he didn’t realize he was still stuck on. All at once, that chapter was over. He could finally move on. 

He didn’t expect the tears that formed in his eyes at the knowledge. Even as his world started dancing with black dots and he wondered distantly if he was about to die again, Roach found that he couldn’t stop the tears. 

There were footsteps then, rapid ones rounding the corner and in a moment, Captain Price was knelt in front of Roach, a hand pressing painfully into his gunshot wound to provide pressure. “...oach? Roach? Can you hear me?’

Roach furrowed his eyebrows, “Shepherds dead.”

Price gave him nothing more than a nod, “You did good kid, but that’s not important right now. Listen, I need you to try to stay awake alright? Medical is already on their way up here.”

“Medical?” Roach’s mind couldn’t quite understand that this time around he wouldn’t be left to die. Instead, his mind thought of something else, “Ghost?”

Price gave him a quick glance before going back to putting pressure on his wound, “Ghost is fine lad. So is Soap. We’re all okay.”

The confirmation that Ghost was okay made Roach’s chest a bit lighter, he felt a bit more at peace, even as he was suddenly surrounded by several medics who began to load him onto a stretcher. 

The trip down from inside of the building went by in blurs for Roach, his mind trying to follow Captain Price’s orders to stay conscious, but his body actively fighting against him. He found himself tilting his head to the side, hoping that the coolness of the stretcher would provide him with a bit of relief from the phantom flames he felt licking at his skin. 

As he was being delivered to the ambulance, he spotted Ghost. His eyes followed the man, and he was sure that his feelings were clear in his gaze. Ghost didn’t give him a glance, but Roach didn’t mind. He seemed determined to get to something, and Roach assumed it was important by his body language. 

He watched, his eyes growing heavier and heavier as Ghost found his way to Soap, the two men stopping once they’d reached each other. Roach was happy to see both of them. Happy to see his friend and the man he loved. Happy to see them hugging. Happy to see Ghost pulling his mask up just below his nose. Happy to see them sharing a short kiss.

Roach’s world went black.

The first thing Roach heard was the sound of beeping. It was a steady noise, following the same interval of silence before another beep. It was oddly calming. 

Roach’s eyes opened first, his mind still swathed in darkness as he was blinded by a sterile and stark white. For a moment, he wondered if he’d been reborn again. That moment faded as he began to feel his body lying beneath the sheets of the bed. He realized very quickly that he was laying in a hospital bed, and that the steady beeping was his heartbeat monitor. 

“Welcome back to the world of the living.”

Roach turned his head too quickly, his world going dizzy for a moment before he was finally able to focus on the, rather dressed-down, form of Captain Price next to his bed. “Captain Price?”

Price nodded, “Glad to see the blood loss didn’t fuck with your memory,” he paused for a moment, “Also just glad to see you’re alright.” 

Roach carefully pushed himself up further in the hospital bed, his side protesting at the movement. His mind was trying to slowly piece together the last few things that he remembered happening, “Shepherd is dead.”

A brief smile crossed Price’s face before he nodded, “He is. You killed him.” There was a moment of silence as Roach let that fact fully sink in. “You did good Roach.” Roach came back to himself, turning to look to Price who reached beside him to pull out a file with his name on it, “I understand now why you’ve got so many glowing reviews in this thing.” A sense of hope bubbled up in Roach, he wondered if this was his moment. “I’d be more than willing to write you a review as well.” Roach felt his heart drop to his stomach, “Or,” Price paused from where he’d been flipping through Roach’s file, “Or, you could join my team.”

“The 141?” Roach breathed out, trying to school his expressions into something more professional than the excitement he felt. “It would be an honor, Captain.” 

Price gave him a small smile, as though he knew that Roach was trying to hide his true excitement. “All of us on the team were highly impressed with you. Both Ghost and Soap recommended that I invite you to join. We’ll be glad to have you on the team.”

Roach gave a smile, the knowledge that Soap and Ghost had both been so impressed with his performance the night before that they’d mentioned him joining to Price? It made an odd sort of happiness bubble up in his chest. His mind supplied the memories of the night before. Working with the 141, Soap and Ghost specifically, killing Shepherd and being hit with a sense of catharsis, being taken away by the medics, and seeing…

“Get some rest, Roach. As soon as you’re cleared with medical we’ll get you all set up.” Price stood from the chair and started towards the door to Roach’s hospital room. Roach stopped him. 

“Um, Captain, last night, when I was being taken away,” he paused, trying to find the right words, “did I see Soap and Ghost kiss?”

Roach could practically see Price’s body language change. He stood up taller and crossed his arms. His face went deceptively blank. It was like a layer of tension fell over the room. “Possibly,” he responded, “The two are in a relationship, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” Roach felt as though he forgot how to breathe, his chest was suddenly covered with an invisible and unexpected weight. His face must have given something away to Price because soon the man was saying, “Is that going to be a problem, Sergeant Sanderson?”

Roach looked up at him, confused at the sudden hostility in his voice before his brain connected the dots, “I’m not homophobic sir, if that’s what you’re worried about,” He rushed out, his mind running in circles as it tried to process the new information and come up with an excuse for Price that the man would accept. Finally, he landed on, “I’m gay.” He winced a bit at the rather rushed and nervous way it was spoken, but the words landed and Price was relaxing slightly, “I just didn’t think relationships within a squad were allowed.”

That uncrossed Price’s arms, the man relaxing once again, “We’re a bit different than your average squad lad. So long as the relationship doesn’t get in the way of your work, I couldn't care less what you lot do with each other in your free time.”

Roach nodded, doing his best to contain his emotions for the moment, “Good to know.”

Price nodded to him, giving a quick goodbye before leaving Roach alone with his newfound knowledge that while he’d finally made it to the 141, he’d lost any opportunity he had of returning to the life that he’d left behind. 

“Well, at least you’re alive.”

“That's what you got out of that?” Roach had to admit, he’d been expecting a little bit bigger of a reaction from Jackson. 

“What else am I supposed to say?” Jackson’s voice was slightly muffled through the phone, the long-distance making it even more noticeable, “Roach you could have died, sorry that I’m not as worried about the 141 drama.”

Roach rolled his eyes, but he wasn’t really upset by Jackson’s reaction. The man had only heard about the 141 and Simon through Roach, so he didn’t have much stake in what actually happened with them. “I called for advice, not to tell you I was shot.”

“So you wouldn’t have told me you got shot otherwise?”

“Paul.”

“Okay, okay,” Roach could practically see Jackson holding his hands up in mock surrender, “What are you thinking about doing? You gonna break ‘em up?”

“What?” Roach huffed into the phone, “No I’m not going to break them up.”

“So…?”

“I was thinking about backing out of the 141.”

There was a pause, “You’re literally a fucking idiot.”

“Hey!”

“Roach, you’ve spent your entire life trying to get back to the 141. And now you’re going to throw it away?”

“I wanted to get back to the 141,” Roach agreed, “But I wanted to do it with Ghost.”

“You’re still doing it with him,” Jackson pointed out, “just not in the way you thought.” There was another pause, “Listen, you’ve finally got a chance to remake those friendships you’ve missed so much, don’t throw it away.”

Roach’s chest ached. He knew Jackson was right. He’d spent his entire life trying to get back to the 141 and see his friends again. He was heartbroken at the knowledge that he’d missed his chance with Simon. He knew that by the tears that soaked his pillow after Price left him alone the night before. Despite that, the thought of losing his chance with the 141 sent him into a bit of a spiral, which was the precise reason he decided to call Jackson. He needed someone to talk to before he made a decision he would regret. “I don’t know,” he finally mumbled back. 

Roach could hear the sigh over the phone before there was another moment of silence between the two, “How about this, you stick with the 141, but if seeing someone else with Ghost becomes too much for you, that’s when you leave. Just…give it a chance first Sanderson.”

“Glad to see you again,” Soap gave Roach a large grin, Roach doing his best to return the smile. He’d just walked into the 141’s meeting area, having been dropped off on base with the knowledge that the team was in a briefing and that he could just head there. 

Upon walking into the room he’d been met with the eyes of the four other members of the team, each looking surprised to see him up and moving already. Soap had been the first to break out of that surprise. “You didn’t think I’d died, did you?” Roach tossed out, trying to avoid looking at Ghost, “I told you they call me Roach for a reason.”

“Did you get medical clearance?” The question came from Price and he got all the answer he needed when Roach winced at the question.

“I’m fine,” Roach offered, “I feel fine.”

“Fine doesn’t keep you from getting shot,” came Ghost’s gruff response. Roach refused to look at him, instead maintaining eye contact with Captain Price.

The two stared each other down for a moment and Roach suddenly felt like a kid in a staring contest with their parent. If he won Price would let him join in on the current mission, if he lost he’d have to sit out even longer. Finally, after a few moments, Price broke eye contact with a sigh, and Roach internally let out a cheer. “Alright, but if you die on this mission that’s on you kid.”

“Noted sir!” Price motioned for Roach to take a seat and, despite the empty chair next to Ghost and Soap, Roach made a point to go around the table and take a seat next to Gaz. He gave the British man a quick smile as he did so, and Gaz seemed amused enough at his entrance to the room to give him one back. 

“Alright,” Price said, taking the attention of the room once again, “As we all know, our last mission didn’t go exactly as planned. This was because of our informant. Laswell did a bit more digging on the informant and learned that they’ve been on Makarov’s payroll the entire time.”

“So Makarov wanted us to kill Shepherd,” Ghost tossed out. 

“Why the hell would he want that?” Soap asked, “I mean Shepherd was in the wind. He was on the run with no way to take action against him. Why trick us into going after him?”

“A distraction?” Gaz questioned. 

Roach shook his head, thinking back to what he remembered about his old life’s Shepherd and about Shadow Company. Using them as a distraction didn’t exactly line up. Ghost seemed to agree, “We had no idea where he was at, or what he was planning. What would he need to distract us for?”

Price shook his head, “Makarov needed Shepherd out of the way for a reason. And he needed him gone quietly. Why?”

Roach had a thought then, remembering the very thing he and Ghost had been killed for, “Information.”

“What?” 

Roach noticed all eyes in the room on him, “Did Shepherd take any information with him when he disappeared?”

Price crossed his arms, “Laswell mentioned that Shepherd's computer and drive were missing and that he likely brought them with him.”

“And did they find the computer and drive at the hotel?”

There was a pause before suddenly Price was cursing. He pulled his phone from his pocket, dialing numbers in quick succession. Within a moment he’d stepped out of the conference room to speak with who Roach could only assume was the Laswell that he’d spoken with during their last meeting. 

This moment left the room in a brief silence before, “Good catch.” 

The compliment came, surprisingly, from Gaz. Roach couldn’t help but be proud at the compliment. He didn’t know how easy it was going to be to befriend Gaz, so the fact that he already seemed to be on the man’s good side was making him feel quite good. 

“How’d you catch that?” Came the question from Ghost. There was a hint of distrust in his voice, one that brought back a nostalgic feeling of first working with the man in his past life. It had taken time to earn Ghost’s trust, time that Roach had been and, despite the heartache, was still willing to put into his new life. 

Roach shrugged, “It seemed obvious. If Makarov got wind that Shepherd had taken information, he’d likely see it as a free ticket to American information. I figured with Shadow Company guarding Shepherd, all Makarov would have to do is find the weak one out of the bunch to nab the information for him,” Roach sighed and shook his head, “The poor sucker is probably dead already.”

“I’m surprised you know about Shadow Company,” came the voice of Gaz, “I mean I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised now, but you knew about them before any of us said anything back on the mission.”

Roach found himself fumbling. He forgot that Shadow Company was meant to be a somewhat secret spec ops team. After a moment he offered, “There’s a pretty chatty recruit with a brother who works in the pentagon on base. He likes to sit in the same area you guys were in when I overheard you talking about Makarov.”

Soap gave a bit of a laugh at that, “Truly like a bug aren’t you Roach? Like a fly on the wall.” He gave him a grin, “You probably know a lot more about what goes on around here than you let on.”

Roach gave a small laugh at that, they really had no idea how much he knew.

Price entered the room again soon after, a frustrated look on his face that told Roach that he’d been right. “Shepherd’s computer is nowhere to be found.”

“We played right into Makarov’s hands,” Ghost noted. Roach watched him, wondering for a brief moment if he had that pinched look on his face under the mask, the one that meant he was frustrated but slightly impressed with the enemy's play. 

“What do we do now?” 

Price pinched the bridge of his nose, “There isn’t much we can do.”

“We can’t let up on Makarov. If he has another chance he’ll try to stir things up,” Soap leaned forward, his hands splaying out on the table in a plead for Price to give the team some sort of option. 

“Makarov’s dropped off of the grid,” Price explained, “At this point, all we can do is chase a few loose threads and hope that one of them leads us to him.”

“I hate chasing threads,” came a grumble from Gaz. 

Roach didn’t quite know how to feel about it. On one hand, he didn’t like the idea of Makarov running free with American intel, but on the other hand, he found himself relieved to avoid a true hunt for the man, at least for a little longer. 

Prev: Part 3

Next: Part 5

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