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letswritebangtan · 5 years

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Addicted | Min Yoongi

WARNING: ANGST. so for those of you who aren’t in a mood for crying today weird, I suggest you read my other fluff filled works <3

For those of you who have decided to read this, we should be friends :)

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Another dark night, smoke clouded Yoongi’s vision. Crimson red filled the blood vessels in his eyes, and every time he blinked, the red diffused further and further until he looked like he had been crying the whole night. He felt like he had though. He wasn’t in the right place, he wasn’t in the right mind, he just wasn’t right. What did you want from him? You were always lecturing him, don’t do this, don’t do that. What could he do?

He took another drag from his cigarette and then dropped it to the floor. His back hit the hard brick wall behind him, it made him close his eyes to think. To think back.

Flashback

“Seriously, Yoongi, this really has to stop,” you said in desperation.

“I can’t stop, Y/N. How many times do I have to repeat myself?” he said in his low voice.

“You’re killing yourself. You have no right to do that,” you said through gritted teeth.

“I have the right to do whatever I want with myself, Y/N,” he growled.

“Your life was given to you by someone else, you don’t get to take it away.”

“Y/N, stop with your bullshit. I’m not dealing with this-”

“Yoongi, don’t you get it? For once, try to understand the situation here. I’m trying to help you!”

“I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!” he yelled suddenly.

Yoongi had never raised his voice at you before. Not once.

“I’ll smoke, I’ll drink, I’ll do whatever the fuck I want and if you have a problem with it, the door is wide, wide, open, Y/N,” he snapped.

Tears pricked at your eyes, begging you to let them fall. You inhaled sharply and glared at him.

“Serves me right for ever giving a shit about someone as heartless as you. I’ll leave, Min Yoongi. And I’m never coming back.”

So you left. You left him to ruin himself. He knew that all you wanted was the best for him. He knew that you loved him with all your heart. And he loved you too. He desperately needed you beside him always, because you were the only one who could hold him in place. But now he broke the both of you. Yoongi bit his lip and opened his eyes. He saw the road again, he saw cars, he saw the streetlights, he saw people, but he didn’t see you.

How he longed to have you there. He was stupid, he could agree. He was so foolish to let you go so easily, due to his stubbornness and his ego. But he was addicted, he couldn’t help himself. He remembered all those times where you’d beg him to put the lighter away, but he’d ignore you. At that point of time, Yoongi would have chosen a cigarette to deal with all his problems. He didn’t realise then, that the cigarette was the problem.

He dialed your number again, but he didn’t hear your sweet voice on the other end like he used to. He let a tear escape, and threw his phone to the ground violently. He was even more drunk than before, than before you left. A passer by gave Yoongi a piece of his mind, for almost smashing a phone onto his foot. Yoongi sent him a look that made him end his lecture right there.

He walked around aimlessly for the rest of the night. He didn’t want to go home, because a part of you was still alive there. He wouldn’t dare reach out to his brothers, the last thing he wanted was for them to see him like this. But it was too late. He saw Namjoon running towards him from down the street. He froze and tried to turn around but Namjoon had already caught his shoulder.

“What the hell are you doing-” Namjoon started.

“Namjoon, I suggest you go back where you came from before I make you.”

“Hyung, please. Let’s just get you home so you can get cleaned up and have a good rest. Please, I ask for nothing more.”

“I’m not going home like this.”

“Well, then are you going to sleep on the streets? I most definitely won’t allow that. You’re acting ridiculous, hyung. Just come home, we’re all waiting for you. We’re worried, Y/N’s worried-”

“Y/N hates me,” he snapped. “She’s never coming back.”

“Y/N was the one who told me to come and get you. She knew you’d go about and do something like this. She’s not done with you yet, hyung, that’s for sure.”

“Namjoon, I’m drunk, I’m pissed and I’m sad, and the last thing I need is you feeding me bullshit at 1 a.m. in the goddamn morning.”

“She’s waiting for you at home. She’s there, I swear. Do you think, with how much Y/N loves you, she could just walk out on you like that? Sure, she’s pissed, but you can change that, if you just come home,” Namjoon said firmly.

An hour later, Yoongi dragged himself through the door, and he saw everyone on the couch with a relieved expression as they saw him walk through the door.

“Yoongi what-” Hoseok was about to yell, but Namjoon shot him a look that shut him up.

Then Yoongi saw you. You were sitting there, your eyes red and puffy. You were looking at him in something that he couldn’t make out. Was it relief? Disappointment?

“We’ll clear out. You guys talk,” Jin sighed and ushered everyone else out of the room.

Yoongi looked at you, and you sighed.

“Y/N-”

“May I speak first?” you asked softly.

He nodded slowly, and then sat next to you, making sure to leave a little space so that he wouldn’t cross the line.

“Yoongi, I....I really hope you know how much I love you. You’ve been a huge part of my life for so many years, and to see someone that I really care about ruin themselves like this it....it really hurts me,” you said, your voice cracking slightly.

“I’m going to be honest, every time you come home searching for your packs, you can never find them because I always throw them out. Your beer cans, you buy at least 10 of them, but there’s only ever 3 in the fridge, because I throw them out as well. When you go stomping about the house, getting angry and agitated because you can’t find any of these two things, I get scared. I get so scared sometimes because I think that those things matter more than me, and if you ever found out that I threw those things out, I was 100 per cent sure you would have my head. Those thoughts made me terrified. I tried so hard for so long to get you to quit, but I can’t do anything if you don’t comply, Yoongs. Both of us know that this isn’t good for you,” you sniffled.

“A-and I understand that it isn’t easy. It’s not easy to give all this up. But I’m just really trying to make you see, what’s good for you and what’s not. I really hoped that you trusted me to let me get you through this but you didn’t, and that hurt me even more. I’m sorry if I came off as annoying, or intrusive, or if I seemed like I couldn’t mind my own business. I’m sorry if I yelled too much, when I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry if I hurt you at any point along the way. I just- I wanted you out of all this, so I tried to do everything that I could. But I realise now that this will only work if you want it to, not just me. So if you want to end this, us,” you gulped, “then I completely understand-”

“No,” he said firmly.

You blinked. “No?”

He sighed, and then took your hand in his. “Look, Y/N, I’m not the best with words, but, I mean it when I say that I love you too. So very much. I know I’ve been an asshole all this while and I was incredibly unfair to you. I hurt you, I disrespected you, I....I’m sorry. When these things happen, I don’t mean for them to. I’m addicted, Y/N. I find that I can’t control myself at times, and that person who’s hurting you, it’s not me. I’m sorry I scared you. I would never lay a finger on you, I want you to know that. I want to change, I want to get out of all this, I’m sure of that now. I can’t have you leave me when I need you the most. So please, stay with me,” he begged.

You smiled softly and hugged him. Yoongi sighed in relief and held you tighter.

“I promise, to stay with you till my last breath, Yoongs.”

He smiled genuinely, “As will I.”

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swit-purple · 3 years

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I was constantly anxious and wanted to know answers for every single thing, without realising that there is actually wisdom, mercy and love that Allah hides certain things from us unless He knows we are absolutely ready for it. I remained jittery and restless till my mid-20s and that was when I decided to pick up the Quran and started re-reading it, but this time with a more present and open heart. I still remember the day I came across this Ayah: “Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship.” (Qur’an, 2:185) I remember half crying, half-smiling, as I read that Ayah over and over again. I couldn't believe it - there I was, complicating everything, jumping to a million and one conclusions, worrying about things that have not even happened, while Allah SWT Himself reassures me that He only wants ease for me! That was when it hit me: I was stubbornly trying to control everything, to figure out everything, when my one and only job was to do my best, then let go and let God. In other words, I had to learn how to chill 📷. "But how?" I asked myself. "By keeping it simple, sweetheart," my heart whispered. - I want to share 3 things that have helped me simplify my life significantly - they are simple steps, but profoundly powerful. 1. Do the best you can with what you have. I get that we want to do and achieve many things (and may Allah make it easy for all of us, Amin!) but a lot of us fall into the trap of waiting for the "perfect" circumstance to happen before we start. We all know that life in this Dunia will never be "perfect" so it's imperative to learn how to do the best with what we have. The good news is, we've all done this before. Do you remember how you used to play as a child? Did you wait to have the full 100 colour-pencil set before you begin drawing? Did you wait for someone else to join you before you started playing? No, you simply started - on your own, with what you have. We've done this before, and we can do it again. And this brings me to the second point. 2. Stop giving excuses, think of simple solutions instead. Excuses are lies we tell ourselves so that we don't have to be held accountable and I used to be guilty of this. But I slowly realised that the amount of energy it takes to come up with an excuse and to think of a simple solution is 📷the 📷 same 📷. For example, this happened to me today: Excuses Aida: It's so cold. Let's work out tomorrow instead. Simple Aida: Then we don't have to change, let's work out in our comfy PJs. Excuses Aida: But you have so much work..... Simple Aida: Then let's find a 10 minutes workout on YouTube. 10 minutes is better than nothing. Excuses Aida: But what's the point? Tomorrow we'll do 30 mins! Just skip today! Simple Aida: We'll get to tomorrow when we get there, but today is here, and we can just start and do 10 minutes. (proceeds to start searching for short workout videos and immediately pressing the play button) We have to be stronger than our excuses and our biggest weapon in silencing those lame excuses is to come up with the simplest solution ever so that you can't even retort with yet another excuse. Simplify - make it so easy you can't even talk yourself out of it. Eg: Want to read? Read one paragraph from a page. Want to clean your room? Start with one drawer. Want to start on your assignments? Sit at your desk. Want to learn the Quran? Play a Quran recitation. JUST 📷 START 📷! A month from now, we can either have a month of small but significant progress or a month of lazy excuses that you tell yourself. The choice is yours. 3. Learn the power of "enough". We live in a consumerist and materialistic society that has wired us to believe that happiness is only attainable when we have more. But we have never learned to define for ourselves what is "enough". Because of that, we only know what we lack, but fail to recognise what we already have. Truth is, we not only have enough, but we actually have more than enough. And when we choose to keep it simple, we are also choosing to practice gratitude, and gratitude

is the only attitude we should be having. On the other hand, the danger of not realising you have more than enough can lead to envy, comparison, pessimism and a whole lot of bitterness. May Allah always keep us well-aware of the immense blessings He has given us, and to protect us from being blinded by greed and ingratitude, Amin! - Sometimes, throughout the day, I'd ground myself by asking, "are you keeping things simple?" This helps me focus on my breath, on the person in front of me, on the task at hand, and most importantly, on the present moment. I want to end my letter with this profound Hadith. Rasulullah SAW said, "Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded; and gain strength by worshipping in the mornings, the afternoons, and during the last hours of the nights." (📷Bukhari) So don't overburden yourself. Because sometimes, the most complicated question has the simplest answer. For me, the answer to every single hardship is one - to go back to Allah. Because yes, the struggle is real, but so is Allah. Love and prayers always, Aida.

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misunderstood-shadows · 7 years

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Prompt List

Hey guys, I am up for writing requests for all my fandoms (Supernatural, Teen Wolf (Derek Hale only), The Originals (Elijah Mikaelson only) or Game of Thrones (Jaime Lannister only).

Here is a list I generates, please feel free to request multiple or ones not listed!

UPDATE: I have added in more that I stole from @persuasivus :) The new ones are BOLDED

Don’t leave me”

I have something to tell you”

I only have a month left with you so I’m trying to make it count.

I fell in love and now I don’t want you to go but it’s too late.

‘I’m already dead’’

I got you hurt so I completely cut off all ties to keep your safe

You would always randomly pull me up to dance or just gently hold me while swaying but now I’m standing here alone

” I mean I know I’m supposed to kill you but you’re kind of hot”

The First and Last Time (title)

“Not all love is gentle. Sometimes it’s gritty and dirty and possessive, sometimes it’s not supposed to be careful or soft at all. Sometimes it feels like teeth.”

“A soulmate is: Well, it’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don’t make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soul mate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you’ll always love her. Nothing can ever change that. Make sense?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You can’t keep doing this.”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

‘’You did what?!”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?‘’

“Say it!’’

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“Are you still awake…?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“That’s irrational.”

“Just pretend to be my date.”

“Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

“I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh!”

“This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“Do you think they could have loved me?”

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”

“I am not losing you again!”

“I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I just need to be alone right now.”

“When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”

“I made a mistake.”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”

“I need you to forgive me.”

“I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

“I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”

“I’m flirting with you.”

“I’m not good enough for you.”

“I fell in love with my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“I’m up to the challenge.”

“I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.”

“I’m yours.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

“If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”

“It’s okay to cry…”

“What do you mean? It’s exciting!”

“Talk to me.”

“Look at me—just breathe, okay?”

“Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”

“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

“Well, this is where I live.”

“We finish it the same way we started—together.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“You deserve so much better.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

“You don’t know you the way I do.”

“You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“You shouldn’t have even been there!”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“Teach me?”

“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

“Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.”

“Just once.”

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“I got you a present.”

“Hey! I was gonna eat that!”

“See, now, what that so bad?”.”

“You’re the best part of me.”

“I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Let’s move in together.”

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“What time is it?”

“Just wait a second.”

“Here, let me.”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that.”

“Hold me back!’

”I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!”

I adore you.”

Do I look like I give a fuck?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! How dare you.

Me? Overreacting? Probably.

I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you.

A: What are you doing? B: Avoiding. A: Avoiding what? B: Everything.

This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES?

You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time.

A: It’s okay, I’m not mad. A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell.

I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, like ‘I’m not mad at you (name), I’m mad at the world!

A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass.

I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it.

Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends.

That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it.

Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard.

A: How do you make someone holy? B: You beat the hell out of them.

A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are. B: Not me, I’m important.

If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it.

In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such.

I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it.

You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything.

I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment.

If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place.

Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though.

A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not. B: Thanks. A: You’re welcome.

I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming.

A: What are you reading? B: 10 tips for beautiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know. A: What the fuck?

A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences. B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch.

God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”.

Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just move the fuck on.

Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19?

It’s a beautiful day to give me money, honey.

Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb.

Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower.

No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful.

I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right.

Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic.

Be prepared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me.

A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart. B: That’s my right boob though. A: Babe.

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.

What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question.

I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck.

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you.

So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking each other out?

You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch.

My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.

I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier.

I ship me and that boat.

Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay.

Because my two moods are like glitter and death.

My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!

If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me.

Oh my God are you seeing this shit?

Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawning realisation that I fucked up real bad.

I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when

I think about it later.

You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself?

And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

A: I love you. B: What if I got a bowl cut?

I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

I’m aggressively thinking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know how hard that is?

My opinion is no.

Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

Which is messier - my life or my hair?

How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know what THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

Read a girl who dates books.

My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

#prompts #please request #imagines #fanfiction #fanfics #fic

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