#mostly depressing as shit

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

#svsss #scum villian self saving system #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #the fact that people think scum villain #-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction- #is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me #especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater #heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series #he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters #(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy) #I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters #like example off the top of my head- #the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx #I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes #side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me #i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation #but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years #like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right? #being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain #the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too #+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu #as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing) #bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people #another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does #also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be #he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students #and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing #+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this #but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy

[efplanning]

"im gonna stay up with you all night!"

#pokemon #ev #umbreon #my art #quick redraw bc i feel like ive just been posting mostly depressing shit for ef lately😩 #the kids #the family

[asexualstellar]

I think we as a society really need to talk about tim as Joker Junior more that was so fucking depressing

#rose talks #watching this as a kid killed something in me #and afterwards tim was forbade from ever being Robin again and he tried so so many times to mend his relationship with batman #but batman was also deeply traumatized and it never fared well and tim didnt deserve all that happened to him in this universe #tortured and abused for three full weeks and broken down to the bare bones and built up as the one thing he never wanted to be #and he recovered (mostly) but he’s never the same and feels like batman rejected him completely even though batman was trying to keep- #him safe by simultaneously pushing him away and FUCK me man this shit was so depressing #tim drake #dc.rambling #joker junior #batman: the animated series

[dividedego]

i think what holds me back from interacting more with whatever attempts at schizoid "communities" exist in different pockets of the internet is that, frankly, y'all are so so so whiny. so fucking whiny. everything is negative, everything is meaningless, look how much it sucks for me, look how pointless it all is, look at me being apathetic and finding no enjoyment in anything, i dont even try, misanthropy etc etc.

i get it, szpd sure sucks sometimes, you wish you weren't constructed like this. and i get that a large part of it is the fact that people in general tend to focus on and remember negative things, but good lord. did you know szpd is the only personality disorder that doesn't require clinical distress? you can live your own solitary life, doing your own thing, making your own habits, creating your own meaning, connecting in the ways you feel comfortable and isolating yourself to the extent you need, and be absolutely fine with it. happy even, dare i say vibing. getting there takes work from you, requires you to take a good hard look at yourself from time to time, but nothing in this disorder implies that healthy coping is some fucking pie in the sky or whatever. you can be fine.

it sounds harsh, but someone has to say it: presuming you're mature enough to do so, you need to accept the cards you've been given and make the most of it to the best of your ability. learn what your limits are, try to expand them if possible, bear the burden of your own personal growth. that is your responsibility. yours.

#szpd #schizoid personality disorder #actuallyschizoid #rant #this is mostly abt the subreddit but yeah its a trend here too for sure. its a trend everywhere ive seen #it feels weirdly invalidating for someone whos diagnosed to see it so much. and i have my struggles with szpd for sure but on the whole #i am literally just vibing. seperately yes and the comorbid depression is rough but when im vibing im vibing ykwim #i know this post contributes to the negative shit but whatever you get the point

[tcfactory]

the obvious shenanigans that follow are well! if sj isnt going to socialise the poor beast then sy will! lqg staring like. "What is that." begging peak lord Liu's pardon, but this is a spiritual wolf that is meant to be under the care of peak lord shen. it requires socialising and i was informed you also possessed a spiritual wolf! the wolves, ofc, get on. sj wants to die when he finds out. he wont STOP them because that would make it worse but sToP WaGGinG YouR TaiL when liu-shidi comes over!!

Liu Qingge takes Shen Yuan at face value about the wolf - like, he knows Shen Qingqiu's daemon is a wolf, had seen its silhouette move in the shadows during night hunts, but this wolf is out in the open and is getting pets from Shen Yuan so he can't be Shen Qingqiu's Calamity (the wolf is actually called Harbor, like 'Safe harbor in a storm', but he would never admit to it so when people started making up names he just ran with the most menacing/powerful sounding one) - and during the next Peak Lord meeting he goes to confront Shen Qingqiu about neglecting a spirit beast in his care. How jealous does one have to be to hurt such a majestic wolf like that?! He can tell exactly what caused those scars and he will not stand for a fellow peak lord whipping innocent beasts!!

Shen Qingqiu can glare Yue Qingyuan into silence, but not quick enough to shut Shang Qinghua up before he can blurt out what's up. Liu Qingge demands that Shen Qingqiu prove himself by calling his daemon there. He's reluctant, but complies. Everyone is upset at the state of the wolf (did someone try to dock its tail to make it look a bit more like a dog?!?!!? yes, it was one of Qiu Jianluo's bright ideas to make them more obedient), most of them on Shen Qingqiu's behalf. Shen Qingqiu very much wants to strangle both Liu Qingge and Shang Qinghua, so Airplane reaches for the most convenient bombshell he has as distraction and blurts out what happened to Yue Qingyuan before he flees.

So now Shen Qingqiu has a regretful shidi (planning various nutritious and difficult to hunt monsters as apology gifts) a very regretful and kinda relieved shixiong (sporting one hell of a black eye) and a bunch of other mildly regretful and worried martial siblings and things are going to be fine. All thanks to one oblivious but very pretty hallmaster of his who he absolutely will not thank or fill in about what's up, no sir. (It's fine, it will take YQY and LQG maybe a day or two to get over their shock, realize what happened and start matchmaking, like the idiot sibling-types they are. Shen Qingqiu will have a supportive family whether he wants one or not, and we all know that he kinda really wants one actually.)

It's all going to be fine.

#svsss #daemon au #I'm honestly debating about whether Shen Yuan should have a daemon eventually? #like once his cultivation stabilizes? #because they are supposed to be part of/reflections of the soul #and since he's not paralyzed by depression and slowly fading away everyone assumes that his daemon didn't really die #as much as got reabsorbed after severe injury? hence the sudden impulses to herd everyone everywhere #shen yuan: I don't have a daemon. the universe: now you do :) #mostly because I adore the idea of like #lazy pile of giant wolf + giant wolf + oversized motherfucking lion + doge sleeping in the sun #while their people are having an argument (friendly) nearby #shen yuan has the vibe of someone who would have like. a pug #but I did say herding dog so probably tibetan terrier #small and fancy #or a xigou? but that was used more for hunting I believe #he would lose his shit if he had a Weird Shape kinda greyhound vibes dog let's be honest

[katsmtmsdoodles]

The day of the rescheduled tournament that they finally made it to and won before having a barbecue to celebrate.

And the last day the sky was blue.

#mostly just to get my kid designs out there #i for depressed drawing this tho #terry won't ever get to see the blue sky again after everything they fought for #FUCK dude #young nick looks exactly like my taylor design tho 😭😭 i can't HELP it #the doodler design shamelessly inspired by an ai generated one posted on reddit #ai shit free from copyright claims yo 😤😤 #my art #dndads #dndads art #dungeons and daddies #dungeons and daddies art #nick close #nicky foster #?? 😭😭 what do i do with that kid?? #lark oak garcia #lark oak #sparrow oak garcia #sparrow oak #grant wilson #terry jr #terry stampler #dungeons and daddies s1 #dndads s1 #eventually I'll do art for that one line willy gives the dads when they first get the kids from ravenloft #it's like #“if you raise them they will be unhappy or dangerous and give in to their worst temptations” #and holy fuck does that line hit different now #I'll get there. probably.

[ruthlesslistener]

everytime i think about that terf saying that the 'evil' in men starts at 4 years of age i think about that one eight year old kid who saw me waiting in line to get my flu shot with my (presumably) bitch face set in place and very seriously start explaining to me how it's okay, i just need to relax and not look and it won't even hurt at all. Like i myself am not someone who likes or can be around children for long (not bc they're terrible- they're just little people having a hell of a time in the world, and i am an autistic people who has a hell of a time in the world, which doesn't always mesh the best), but holy shit how do you think little boys are anywhere in the least bit inherently awful. Moreover, how do you get a job in CHILDCARE and claim to be empathetic and good with kids if you deadass think just because a baby has balls, they're inherently awful. Fucking hell.

#tbh i was just thinking about how people who say they're nice are often absolutely awful #and selfish and entitled #while people who say they're shit are typically decent and just like. depressed. #which probs applies to me with kids bc i say im a shit caretaker but apparentlyim excellent with children #mostly bc...surprise surprise...they're tiny people!! #and just like the rest of the adult populace... #they are not inherently terrible!! perhaps even less so because they do not have full social context for things!!! #fucking CHRIST #someone save us from bioessentialists this shits fucking terrible

[agender-wolfie]

I’ve noticed something

Fem reader fics: ✨💖Romance, lovey dovey, smut, 💖❤️

Gender neutral reader fics: 😢 Angst, sadness, mean reader, sterile, platonic 💀 ☠️

#like wtf #we barely get shit to begin with #now it’s mostly depressing #gender neutral x reader #simon riley x gn reader #simon riley x reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller x gn reader #master chief x reader #master chief x gn!reader #jacob seed x reader #Jacob seed x gn!reader #alex keller x reader #daryl dixon x reader #Daryl Dixon x gn!reader #the bad batch x reader #crosshair x reader

[joyflameball]

Happy disability pride month to anyone with depression. You have a disability too- the constant fatigue, exhaustion, not being able to get out of bed, emptiness, all of that, it's all part of this disability. Just because it's not a physical disability doesn't mean it's not a disability. I know it's easy to feel like it's not, but it is, and you aren't stealing valor by saying that. People don't normally feel exhausted all the time. People don't normally feel unable to get out of bed, or do stuff they love doing.

You're disabled too, you deserve a seat at the table.

#cassie rambles #disability #depression #actually depressed #disability month #this post is mostly for me because. it's hard for me to say i'm disabled even though a) i have adhd b) i have depression #both of which are disabilities #i guess it's because depression is seen as the ''being sad'' disorder #which no the fuck it isn't and if you think that's all it is you don't know shit about it #the way i describe it is. feeling like a weighted blanket #not in a good way either. feeling heavy and tired and unable to move without a lot of effort #easier comparison is feeling like you're weighed down by a bunch of sandbags #and like your mind is slower #it's just. constantly feeling exhausted. all the time #it sucks #mental disability

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

rotting citrus

请你帮我。

#my art lol #vocaloid #vocaloid fanart #vocaloid art #vocaart #kagamine len #len kagamine #vocaloid kagamine len #len vocaloid #yellow #green #orange #inspired by a lot of things but mostly mild spite lmfao. and ofc The Depression #i could go more into detail for things but. 🧍nnnnah. lets b mysterious as always #why's it in chinese? dw abt it lol (im avoiding my actual chinese hw ashdkahkjkjsgnkj 对不起老师 😭😭) #'girl dont fucking put the noise filter & the add bloom thing on it AGAIN' '...' *does it* 'GIRL YOU DO THAT EVERY FUCKING DRAWING STOP' #need to do smthn like the deadly sins of shit i overuse every fucking drawing. the blur effects the color palette overlays etc etc

[domesticated-whores]

maybe I'm just a silly little twink whore (I totally already knew that actually) because I not only kin Angel Dust, but also Fizzarolli

#angel dust #hazbin hotel #fizzarolli #helluva boss #i also kin blitzø #which is wholly unrelated #thats mostly because of trauma causing communication issues and self-destructive shit #also self worth and preformance stuff #which is ultimately why i kin all 3 of them #anyway my kin list screams “gay lil genderqueer boy with fucky trauma” and idk how i feel about that #oops im a faggy little femboy with depression #and dear god does it show

[ruiiplume]

Art vs Artist 2023

#ruii.art #ruii.txt #art vs artist #art vs artist 2023 #prolly one of the only few selfies i take bc im hideous af so y'all get to suffer with me lol #it was a depressing year for me bc too much unforgivable fuckery happening everywhere #plus i ain't feeling festive and won't be for a while so #anywho it's mostly redraws and shit

[lord-squiggletits]

I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like

I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?

Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.

So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???

It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.

I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically

#squiggposting #paused work to muse about this which i prolly shouldn't have lol #oh well i'll still get stuff done #like idk an example of this is how pyra criticized OP for using religion to manipulate people #(lets just ignore how she said she would teach OP but never actually did) #but in the story there's never any sort of confrontation where pyra learns about history or talks with OP #and OP gets to be like. yeah on my planet primes fucking sucked and i'm the only one trying to redeem their image #also ive been fighting an endless war that lasted 4 mil years in which me being a shining figurehead was basically #the sole motivating force keeping my army from just collectively succumbing to endless despair #and i also had to use this shining figurehead image i had to keep the opposing army from genociding a bunch of organics #like not once does OP get to express his side of things he's basically just shit upon endlessly by other characters as he keeps doing plot #i feel like i had another example but i can't recall who/what was involved lmao #like idk it's not just that barber's writing is depressing and dark and edgy. i LIKE stories that do that kind of thing #it's just that it feels a bit as if the story is ENDLESSLY depressing and dark and edgy with almost no reprieve #as if it's mostly presenting the flaws of the characters with no chance for them to justify or redeem themselves #idk i feel like there was another better point/example i was gonna make but i can't remember it #like idk i guess a dark depressing story would've been better if the characters at least got to defend themselves #bc as is it basically feels like they (esp OP) get shit on endlessly and never once get to express anything about it #so like. they get shit on in universe. but also as the reader since there's never a contradicting viewpoint or the character defending them #it's as if you're supposed to take this one-sided criticism of them at face value and it just doesn't seem fair AS THE READER #if i read about OP getting shit on by some people and defended by others and also him expressing his opinion on himself #then that just feels like a normal fair narrative where i get to take sides #but if it's just OP being shit on and he hardly expresses much about it #then it feels like i as the reader am expected to agree with the portrayal being shown? #but in reality the portrayal just feels negative and unfair and one sided to me #and why the fuck do i want to read a story that's just the characters i know and like on an endless shame parade #also shout out to 'literally who' aka slide calling OP 'literally fascist' lmao #one of the most cringe moments of the entire comic. wait no. i can think of a more cringe Slide Moment #when unicron is about to destroy the planet and trypticon is getting shot and dying(?) in the background #and the story decides to pause and focus on Slide so she can monologue about how evil and tyrannical OP is

[weedle-testaburger]

not to sound like john lennon but it would be good if people didn't kill each other so much

#personal crap #tbh the problem with lennon was not that that sentiment was bad it's that he didn't do shit to actually make it happen #it's pretty depressing to me that we've gotten so far from ww2 and the end of the cold war #we've all kinda forgotten genocidal murder is bad and peaceful liberal democracy is (mostly) good

[milfgyuu]

when u talk about not wanting to work bc ur supposed to just be a little fairy princess in a forest sleeping in a flower just a little too often so ur company dissolves your entire team and lays you off three days before Christmas.

#can't even make this shit up #this is mostly me trying to humor my way out of depression #but to also let ya'll know my writing projects have slowed or paused as I work thru this #lana says

[whirlybirdwhat]

anyway. would you guys love me still if i came back a year later and started posting trigun

#and naruto. and critrole campaign one. sorry guyss college changed me as a person. turns out having a challenging major and writing-hinderi #ing injuries and like #a whole other personal shit reaallyyyyyy fucks up ur online presencce and your aabiity to communicate!!! but im okay now. life is beautiful #again at least. and i just wrote for the first time in a year basically and am not as depressed woo!!!!!!!! #i got to fly in helicopters and planes and shit. life is great and i have sarah. ily sarah sm mwaah #okay shit anyway. 10k incoming bye #ALLSO WAIT if you ssent me anyhing in the past year i mostly likely haave not seen it so if u still wanna send me it agaain - pleaase do!!! #missssed thiss