#my cousins are all fucked beyond repair

[xoxoskai]

NIKOBRAN HEADCANNONS

to keep you going this last week before God of Fury drops<3

Between all his sons-in-law, Brandon is Kyle's favorite.

Levi's is Mia (cousin-fuckers who stole his son and daughter he'll always beef with)

Brandon and Niko are the type of relatives to wear matching clothes on Christmas because Niko would take up any chance to wear matching anything with Brandon.

If and when Brandon bakes, no one gets a chance to even taste what he made before Niko devours it all.

The only place Niko can fall asleep in at record speed is Brandon's arms.

The only reason Niko teaches Brandon how to drive a bike is so he can put his arms around his boyfriend's slutty waist boyfriend.

Remi is terrified on Brandon's behalf.

"Bran, yes, he's hot but mate, look at that guy! He has some skin on those tattoos!"

Astrid shares Remi's concerns but soon comes to find out that Niko is the biggest goofball of sunshine and almost adopts him.

Surprisingly, the one who takes the longest to accept Brandon is Rai. Because it's not her first time meeting the Kings (hello, she's a far relative) and she's worried that her oldest who is actually tender hearted and plagued by demons of his past, might be crushed beyond repair if Brandon hurt him.

Brandon and Landon think they can get away with tricking their in-laws by dressing as each other but they underestimate the Sokolov-Hunters who told them apart the moment they walked in.

Brandon tried it on Niko once when he first divulged about how Maya and Mia used to do it, but Niko could tell Brandon apart from his "psycho" brother in a heartbeat.

"It's your eyes" He had murmured. "Yours sparkle"

Glyndon is weary of Niko but as long as Brandon's happy, she's happy.

Landon is supremely unhappy.

When Landon first opposes their relationship by threatening Niko, Niko flings back "Remember who you're dating and what I mean to them" back at him.

Niko and Landon almost kill each other multiple times.

If there's someone even more unhappy than Landon, it's Crieghton.

Creighton: "Does this mean I can't fight him anymore?" Elsa: "Why were you fighting him before this?!" Creighton: "Is anyone else hearing this buzzing? I should go check."

Niko goes feral whenever he sees Brandon shirtless and vice-versa but

Niko is always shirtless, so Brandon is always suffering.

Unlike Niko, Brandon doesn't carry him into a dark corner to immediately fuck.

If there's no scene of Brandon asking Niko "Who's fucking you?" Rina, you'll hear from my therapist. And if there's not a single, evil, unhinged Brandon moment where Niko is flabbergasted at the change and is accusing him of being two-faced at which Brandon will laugh, lean in and ask tauntingly "What are you going to do? Tell on me?" I will sue.

Brandon's muse is Niko. (Bitch, I said what I said)

Unlike Landon, Brandon doesn't divulge this piece of information to his boyfriend because he does not want to give Niko even more reasons to walk around with lesser clothes.

Brandon gets a tattoo for Niko on his ribs. (cue feral Nikolai)

After which Niko tries to get Brandon's name tattooed on his favorite organ, but Jeremy literally deadlocks the door to his room to keep him inside after Niko asked for opinions in their group chat about his decision.

Niko: You don't think it's romantic? Jeremy, Killian, Gareth, Landon, Eli, Creighton, Remi:

They've definitely rolled around in paint and fucked on a canvas after it. Niko would display it in the entryway of their house if Brandon let him.

They've also joined the mile high club.

After they get engaged, Brandon calls him by his full-name as in "Nikolai Sokolov-Hunter-King" just to piss him off but Nikolai loves being associated to Brandon in every possible way, so it backfires.

Their wedding bands have each other's name inscribed in them.

As does the underside of their ring fingers in the other's handwriting.

Nikolai tries drawing a heart over the i in his name and almost gets smacked.

#legacy of gods #nikolai sokolov #brandon king #nikolai x brandon #nikobran #god of fury #god of malice #god of pain #god of ruin #god of war #eliava #eli x ava #eli king #landon king #jeremy volkov #creighton king #mia sokolov #maya sokolov #cecily knight

[atimeofyourlife]

Part 2 (or 1.5?) of this Eddie's POV of after the argument outside the diner (AO3)

Eddie felt sick as he watched Steve walk away with Danni. He knew he'd fucked up by listening to Gareth, and allowing him, Grant, and Jeff to fill his head with their dislike of Steve and twist what he knew of Steve. Steve who had, as Danni had pointed out, been so hurt by cheating. Nancy cheating on him with Jonathan. His father's constant affairs that Steve had been aware of from a young age, where his mother would leave him home alone in an attempt to prevent her husband's wandering eyes turning into wandering hands. The hurt expression on Steve's face was one that would haunt him forever. It was a hurt that he had caused, by listening to his friends over choosing to trust the one he loved.

He went back inside feeling lost. Had he just fucked up the relationship beyond repair? He didn't even know how to start to fix it.

"How pathetic was he? Was it all crocodile tears and claiming it meant nothing, and he still left with-" Gareth started, but Eddie cut him off.

"I fucked up. Seriously fucked up." He dropped back into his seat at the table, and started to push around his food, he'd barely started it, but couldn't stomach finishing it.

"Yeah, you fucked up by trusting someone like that, but you know now. He's the one that seriously fucked up the relationship, by fucking that-" Grant said, sounding like he was trying to be reassuring.

"She's his cousin." Eddie snapped. "Not some girl that he's fucking. And I fucked up because he told me about her before he left for Chicago. That he'd be spending all his time with her because she's the only person in his family that isn't insufferable."

"If you believe that, you're way less smart than we give you credit for, man. That's just one of the classic cheating excuses, oh she's my cousin. We just grew up kissing and sleeping naked together, so we don't want to stop." Jeff replied, his tone growing mocking toward the end.

Eddie didn't bother replying, just standing up and dropping the few dollars to cover his food on the table. He needed to get out of there. He needed to find a way to make it right.

-

Eddie just drove around for a while, trying to organize his thoughts. Trying to come up with some way to apologize to Steve. His bandmates were obviously no help. He considered talking to the kids, but then he would have to explain to them why he needed to apologize. And they would give him hell for treating Steve like that, not that he wouldn't deserve it. There was no chance of Robin helping, she would have heard it all from Steve and would come out swinging.

He got home, thankful that Wayne's truck was there. Wayne was his only hope for any help, even if it would come with judgement for his actions. Because Wayne liked Steve, and had warned Eddie not to do something stupid and hurt Steve. That warning had come way before the accusation of cheating, and now felt like Wayne had known that something like this would happen.

"What's going on, Ed. I thought you'd be out with the boys longer than this?" Wayne asked as Eddie walked in.

"I fucked up, Wayne. Really seriously fucked up, and I don't know how to make it right." Eddie pulled his hair over his face, not wanting to see the judgement he knew he would get from Wayne.

"How'd you fuck up? Is it anything to do with why you've been avoiding Steve?" Wayne questioned.

"I accused him of cheating. Gareth got in my head about it." Eddie admitted.

"Where in the hell did you get an idea like that from? Anyone with eyes could see how devoted that boy is to you. How much he loves you."

Eddie hesitated for a second, before explaining everything that had happened. Steve's trip to Chicago, how he'd planned to hang out with his cousin. Gareth seeing them out together while he was doing college visits, and assuming the worst. Gareth telling him and Jeff and Grant as soon as he got back from Chicago, as he was back before Steve. Eddie believing him because Steve wasn't there to defend himself, and because he'd assumed that Steve's cousin was a guy. Steve coming home, and Eddie trying to avoid him. Seeing Steve at the diner with Danni, and taking it all out on him. "And it's just. His face, Wayne. I've never seen him so hurt. He was trying not to cry. And it's my fault. I don't know what to do to make this right. I don't know if there's anything I can do."

"Boy, you must've got that stupid from your momma or your daddy, because you sure as shit didn't get it from me." Wayne sighed. "Right now, you apologize and make it a damn good one. He don't have to accept it or forgive you, because you accused him of something pretty big. You chose to believe your friends over Steve, and even I know that they don't like him. That they hold some grudge against him."

"I don't think I'll be able to get close to him, he's gonna have a pair of guard dogs ready for blood." Eddie replied.

"You still got to try. Apologize, make it clear, then follow his lead. If he wants to talk, let him. If he wants space, give it to him. If he dumps you, you leave him the hell alone. He deserves a good apology, and only he gets to decide if it's good enough. And you got to consider which you value more, your friendship with Gareth, Grant, and Jeff, or your relationship with Steve. Because you ain't gonna be able to have both, not in the same way as before. Now, you gotta go figure out how you're gonna fix this." Wayne gave him one last look, before turning back to his paper.

Eddie still didn't know how, but he was going to find a way to fix this.

This will be 3/4 parts long. No guarantees, but I'm hoping to have part 3 done in the next week or so! tags: @kengwisi @oh-yeah-honey @estrellami-1 @hardboiledleggs @zerokrox-blog

#eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #steddie angst #atimeofyourwrites

[evita-shelby]

12 Days of Smuff: Day 4

Day 4: Reassurance + Car Sex

Tommy Shelby x Eva Smith (oc)

Cw: semi public sex, car sex, feelings of inadequacy and frustration

Thomas hasn’t felt this on edge since he was betrayed.

This should be easier, no one shooting at him, no one dying, just him in a conference room negotiating a loan from his wife’s family to start their legal businesses.

In London, tomorrow morning and in the presence of the uncles and aunts and cousins running the third largest shipping company in the Atlantic.

Fuck.

“Fuck. Fuck it all!” Tommy cursed as his car gave up on the road from Birmingham to London.

Could’ve taken the train, but driving made him feel in control.

“We brought the petrol for this, remember?” Eva tries to reassure him reminding him they had planned for this.

“I know, I am just kicking my crate, love.” He tries to calm himself enough to get off the car and refill it so they can get there and leave as soon as possible.

“We’re making good time even with this delay, Tom. Take your time.” The witch assured him and gave his hand a good squeeze. “Everything will go great and we’ll be in Digbeth getting the deed for your office before you know it.”

“What if they deny me the loan because we eloped?” He asks searching for his cigarette case ---a gift from Eva--- only to find his pocket empty.

This resulted on another round of curses and him slamming the wheel in frustration.

“They won’t, Tom. They know good business when they see it, and they know better than to doubt my word about it.” Eva answered because to her this meeting was just a stupid formality to intimidate him.

“Tell you what, how about we take a break for a few minutes?” the witch suggested as if they weren’t on the side of an empty road.

“And do what? Pick some fucking flowers, fuck?” Tommy throws back at her sarcastically.

“Road’s empty and we got time to kill anyways.” Eva joked as if his words hadn’t stung her. Just weeks ago they’d returned from their honeymoon and now he’s taking his frustration out on her.

What a fantastic way to prove them right, he wasn’t good enough for her, too fucked up to be a good husband.

“Tom, don’t even think that. If you’re fucked up, I’m broken beyond fucking repair. Fuck them, I love you, you love me and that is all that matters.” Eva took his face in her hands wanting to push out his dark thoughts by sheer will.

And maybe she could if he let her.

So he pulled her for a kiss and did what always pushed the shadow out of his head.

“Tommy I was joking, I wasn’t—” Eva sputtered after he let go of her lips and sought to free her tits from her blouse.

“Road’s empty and we got time to kill anyways.” The gangster turned businessman and husband smiled and kissed her again knowing she won’t say no. “Let’s fuck, Mrs. Shelby.”

And they do, not a quick hurried thing in case someone comes, but a fuck that makes them wish they didn’t have a meeting to attend.

“I wanted to fuck you like this that night after the derby, love.” He admits with a groan as she rides him with gusto and in the next movement accidentally pressed back on the car’s horn.

They stay there laughing, not stopping as the car horn blared out into the empty road and the newly weds continue to fuck in the driver’s seat with wild abandon.

Only God would know what made them late to the meeting, and Shelby didn’t even believe in him anyway.

“I wish you had,” she kissed him as it came to an end and Tommy decided it was ample time they get a car for their own.

#eva smith shelby #tommy shelby x oc #thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x oc #peaky blinders fanfiction #thomas shelby #evacore #12 days of smuff

[hanasnx]

so i imagine that toji and you have been on-again-off-again for a couple years now, like every time you break up, your dads all like 'yeah right, i give it a week.' but this time its for real, say its been like two months and to prove to your family that you're over him, you invite your new man to your dads bday party at your parents house.

you get there and are obviously pissed. of course your dad invited toji and didn't tell you, he didn't believe you were broken up. but what's worse is your new man ain't answering his phone, so you cant even lie to him and tell him the party is cancelled. so he shows up, and its awkward as hell, and he doesn't understand why until you finally introduced everyone except toji. i can see his cocky ass strolling up to the poor guy, smirking with his shady eyes, shaking his hand firmly and introducing himself as your ex boyfriend.

or would he just say hes a friend of your fathers? play along, and befriend the guy before you or maybe one of your nicer cousins pull the poor guy aside and fill him in? all the while, you're staring daggers at your father, while he's shrugging at you like he isn't at fault for this.

idk, i just love the potential for angst and tension here with this scenario. i fucking live for it bro. like your new man seeing a photo of you and toji on the wall, didn't you ask your dad to take that down last time you were here? or how toji's hand lingers on yours a little to long as he passes you your slice of birthday cake. or how friendly all of your family seems to be with him. he fits right in.

but the best part-later that night, after your new man's ego has been beaten down beyond repair, and him and most of your family has left, Toji lingers (because your father made it clear he's always welcome), and he ends up fucking you in the spare room that used to be your bedroom, or maybe in the back of his car parked out front, or in the kitchen while your parents are sleeping, all the while whispering and teasing you about how cute it was for you to think you could ever move on from him.

i could even see him texting your new man from your phone while he’s doing it, saying something cheeky or even breaking up with him for you. but you'd be too preoccupied to notice or care, obviously, reveling in how good it feels to be filled up by him again, because of course toji’s dick is bigger than what you’ve been getting. but not just his size, he knows all your sweet spots and remembers exactly how you like it, how could he forget? and by the time he’s done with you, he’s already convinced you to get back together.

his dick game is just that good you cannot convince me otherwise.

— source.

me rn bcos i got to feel like the reader and was biting the fuck outta my finger flirting with the screen

i absolutely love the on-and-off-again trope. your dad probably thought you two were gonna get married bcos of how attached-at-the-hip you were for a while. like angelina jolie and billy bob thornton. crazy in love, cant keep hands off each other, making long-term plans, toji probably asked for his fucking blessing at some point

and just like that, it ended. totally blindsided the whole family, constantly asking you about "wheres your man? huh? where's he at?" until you had to solemnly explain you weren't together anymore. all your little siblings and cousins, nieces and nephews, all are devastated because uncle toji isn't around anymore and they loved him so so much. that was the first time you and him broke up, and he was already so ingrained in the family that it shook through them all when suddenly he wasn't around anymore, everybody loved him. especially your dad who's tough and just, and never liked anybody, especially any of your boyfriends. he's expressed that toji was good enough to take care of his little girl, that he could trust you were in good hands when toji was around. you were safe, protected. (your new boyfriend cant compare in your father's eyes. he's a pansy compared to toji, which you always distressfully protest to because that's not a real criticism and your dad is just playing favorites.)

but then the family sees you two get back together, you and toji are back and better than ever. everybody's ecstatic to see him: your sisters and aunts dote on him, ask him to carry heavy things just to talk about how handsome he is when his muscles bulge like that; your uncles and brothers talk man-to-man with him, show him their cars and share their beers and ask him if he wants to watch the game. toji, quite the charmer, insists he's gonna spend time with his girl, and stays with you in the kitchen while you hang with your mom. oh, your mom loves toji. talks about what a spitting image he is of the husband shes always wanted you to have. she makes him lean down so far when she wants to give him a goodbye kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening, she lists out the stuff she wants done around the house and toji does them. even tho its supposed to be a party.

fast forward to your dad's bday, and nobody believes you that you and him are done "for good this time" because they've heard about almost every break-up and reunion. they're so convinced that you and him are meant to be, you're just being stubborn.

toji swaggering up to your poor new man to introduce himself so gruffly with his deep voice and callused hand shaking his, saying so shamelessly he's your ex boyfriend. that's crazy big dick energy. it implies so much, loaded asf, bcos you're sighing and hanging your head into your hand because toji just had to go and do something like that.

the photo!! the fucking photo on the wall!! your new bf sees it before you can hastily pull it down off its fucking nail bcos you totally did ask them to take that down! and its such a good picture too. you and toji tangled so close together. he's in leather jacket, cheek-to-cheek with you, arms around you while your leg is up around him. you look good together.

i think he'd play a bit of a hard-to-get thing with you, coyly asking you about your boyfriend, where'd you meet, etc. you know him too well to think he's being genuine, and he hits you that he thinks its "cute"

you have to leave because there's no way you're gonna talk about this shit with him, having an argument in the driveway between your cars because you cant keep your voice down when you're with him. you're berating him for showing his face here even if he was invited, and he's telling you its not his fault your father loves him so much. fighting like an old married couple when he tells you he wants you back and he doesn't give a fuck who that skeevy guy was that came earlier. he tells you that he knows you want a real man when you left him because of how pigheaded and brutish he is. pandering to your family so you'll never be rid of him is exactly the kind of manipulation you wanted to get away from, and he defends it as some sort of strategy of playing the long game for the finger he wants to put a ring on. and its like you've done this game before, you're tired. one thing you're not tired of, is how remarkably agreeable the two of you are while you're fucking. so you settle the argument with your bodies <3

#indy shoots the shit #thanks for the msg!! #purple-obsidian #ch: toji #toji fushiguro prompt #indy: headcanons #toji fushiguro headcanons

[reds-skull]

Hi I’m the work anon from earlier

Wow your revenant fic was amazing! I’m so glad I got to read it from start to finish and watch as your story grew and took shape

I adored Soap and Gaz’s friendship but I also adored how Ghost trusted and was friends with him too especially when he asked him for advice! 😭 (there’s so little of their friendship the fandom and it sucks ) Price was best dad and deserves all the hugs (and cigars for dealing with his sons squad every day) Rudy and Alejandro (and the vaqueros) were adorable and had the 141 backs from the start, they were ready to throw down! Grave’s got what he deserved I hated him in this fic so much (great job) he was such a smug smarmy bastard until the end. Farah and Alex were so sweet they were like the favourite cousins that got roped into the family drama (I still want Fahra to BITE shepherd you know as a treat!) Laswell knows things and is scary she will happily help people reach the find out portion of their fucking around.

The reapers were so cool!!!! Especially with how they combined I was not expecting that, was legit shooketh (I now imagine limbo as a pitch black ocean full of burning stars (I also have a couple questions regarding it I would like to asked later please?)) Soap’s reaper was warm and kind Ghost’s was cold and clinical together they’re so much more?!?! Like it’s poetic there the best version of themselves together (like ghoap)

Speaking of ghoap they’re so in love it’s sickening all I could imagine during the vows was Price “listening in” and then getting Laswell to hand the boys a bloody wedding certificate so sweet 😭

Thank you for putting in the time and effort to create something so beautiful for so many people have a lovely day or night you deserve a break after all of that hard work!

And with all my admiration fuck you for making me cry (again)

Hello work anon! Hope it went easy haha

I feel like there's a few versions of Ghost headcannons floating out there, one is basically "the man believes he's broken beyond repair, he doesn't think he's human, all he does is focus on work" and the other is "yeah he went through really fucked up shit, but he holds himself together pretty well, and while it's hard for him to find someone he trusts, the people close to him are priceless."

I like both versions, but this time I went for the latter. I love love love Ghost and Gaz as friends (mw4 please give me them interacting), and you can see that in my comics as well lol.

I made Graves such a little bitch that everyone hates from the start lmao.

I didn't plan for Rudy and Ghost to interact that much if I'm honest, but because Soap wasn't the POV and I wanted to have the Vaqueros more prominently in the story (it does take place mostly in Las Almas after all), Rudy's initial reaction to Ghost's mask was the perfect opening for a deeper friendship.

Farah and Alex weren't too active, if I make a sequel, I think I'll make it focused on the situation in Urzikstan. Farah deserves to take her own revenge and get her happy ending...

I love your description of Limbo, especially because I mentioned in the fic that Ghost loves seeing the stars, because it's the first thing he saw after he was Reaped (and now Soap created stars for him in the void).

I'd love to hear your questions!

Ghost and Soap, like someone else commented, are practically married on all levels beside legal lmao. I never planned for them to be so fuckin' whipped for each other tbh, like the vows at the start were not planned at all. I just looked up Celtic wedding vows, and it was literally so perfect for them ("I give ye my Body, that we Two might be One./I give ye my Spirit, ’til our Life shall be Done."? Couldn't fit more to their story), I just had to add it.

Thank you for reading and commenting! I wish this break was voluntary, but my semester is ending in 3 weeks and I have many projects to finish, so I have to prioritize that for a while T_T

#asks answered #ty for the ask <3 #as I said before I could talk about revenant AU for hours #so sorry for the wall of text but not really

[lemonluvgirl]

Drinking Games

Ok, so this is a hard one and I think it will be very apparent to all who read why I decided to not include it in the story. Set in the Golden Cages universe after Katniss' rescue. It begins with the idea of everyone discussing what age they lost their virginity. They are sitting around, drinking some contraband liquor they found and just shooting the shit. But then hijacked Katniss decides to come out and play!

It's just 100% angst and heartbreak. But also drama. SO MUCH DRAMA.

trigger warnings for mentions of loss of virginity, brain-washing, mind tricks, and really f*cked up situations.

“Fine. 18. District 12. Victor’s Village.” 

“Better late than never!” 

“Must have been true love, if you waited that long.” 

They pass me the bottle, I stare at it dumbly. 

I feel a hollow pain, like something sharp rattling around in my empty chest at this comment. For a moment I can’t decide whether I want to drink from it or not anymore.

But then I think of the horrors of the day, the perils in the future. And the only thing I am certain of is that whatever the future holds, I will never have a night like that night she climbed in my window again. She and I are broken beyond repair. And all I want is to forget. So I take a big swig and try not to cough as the liquor burns through me on the way down. 

Despite my efforts though, I do cough, right at the very end. And I wait for them to start teasing and cracking jokes, but everyone is suddenly quiet. I look around and see their eyes glued to a spot almost directly behind me, a little to my right. And I feel her presence a split second before I hear her voice. 

“Same.” She says as she takes a seat a few spaces down from me. “At least I think so. I guess I don’t know. I was hoping someone could vouch for me, my memory being what it is.” She adds as an afterthought. Then she cocks her head towards me, staring directly into my eyes, and blinks at me, emotionlessly. Waiting for me to agree or contradict her. But I’m so startled by her sudden appearance, I can’t speak.

“I guess that’s a no. So, it was you then?” She comments without concern, as she swivels her head in Gale’s direction. Their eyes meet, and he stares at her incredulously. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. How can you not remember anything about that at all?” He replies in a flabbergasted manner after she continues to stare at him expectantly. 

She widens her eyes in what can only be described as cold calculation and then pins him with a sardonic smirk. 

“The problem isn’t that I don’t remember anything at all. It's the opposite. There are about a dozen different versions in my head that all contradict each other. Sometimes it's you. Sometimes it's him,” She cocks her head over in my direction but doesn’t look at me, “Sometimes it's even him.” She says in an amused voice and she looks over at Deen. 

Deen looks like he’s going to be sick. Gale’s eyes narrowed at her harshly. I feel dreadfully numb. What the hell is she thinking, talking about all this so openly? No one else mentioned specifics. No one else was bringing faces and names into this. The atmosphere shifts, completely, to a darker, more unbelievably horrific tone. 

“They liked messing with that memory. Picked it apart until the pieces were so tiny they blew away like dust in the wind. The overall theme I believe was that I had some kind of incest fetish.” She says as she laughs darkly, so coldly it sends a shiver down my spine. Who the hell is this woman? The feeling of sitting next to a stranger who wore the face of the girl I had loved all my life came back then.  I was consumed by the surreal horror of it. 

“You know, the whole cousin thing.” She tells Gale with a pointed look. “Then the surrogate brother,” She elaborated as she looked over at Deen again who now seems to have gotten over being nauseated and moved on to being pissed. But he wasn’t looking at her, he was staring straight at the ground with such a furious gaze. 

“Then of course they tried to make some connection between the blond hair and blue eyes he and my sister share. The implication being I wanted to sleep with my own flesh and blood sister and used a substitute.” She says as she glances at me quickly. And my numbness rushes away and is replaced by instant revulsion so strong I have to fight hard against the compulsion to regurgitate. Her sister? Prim? They had tried to taint the memory of her love for Prim. 

I felt sick, so disgusted by this entire conversation. But she seemed completely unfazed, and unconcerned with how uncomfortable she was making everyone feel. 

“So, what do we do here? Compare dates and times?” She says in a joking voice, but it's obvious no one finds this funny. She laughs anyway. Then Deen is on his feet in a flash, with burning anger in his eyes as he locks gazes at her. But when he speaks he doesn’t yell. He talks slowly and enunciates every word. 

“No. Never. Not once. Not even close. We were never like that. You were never like that, do you hear me? Fuck those pricks! I hope they all rot in hell!” He says finally raising his voice to a shout, and he looks in the direction of the faraway Capitol. He breathes harshly for a minute, before stalking off towards the woods. 

Everything is quiet, in the wake of Deen’s angry confession. There is a brief flicker that could pass for relief that rushes across her face as she watches Deen’s back retreat farther into the forest. But then it's gone and she’s turning back to Gale. 

“One down, two to go. Care to weigh in?” She asks him in an eerily blank manner. Her face is devoid of emotion again. It's painful, how cold she sounds, how unimportant it seems to her. She could be asking about the weather or what he had for lunch. 

He stares at her, hard for almost a full minute. And there is such a fit of resentful anger in his gaze, bordering on hatred. But she seems completely unfazed by it. She just waits for his reply patiently. 

“You sure you wanna do this now? Like this?” He asks her, in a cold detached voice. 

She nods. “I’m getting tired of trying to figure it out on my own.” 

“Fine.” He says through gritted teeth. Then he mimics her head cocking gesture in the direction Deen took off in. “Same. I don’t know what the hell they did to you. I have no idea how they could change any one person so much. But he was right. You were never like this. I can count on one hand the number of times you and I kissed in the seven years we knew each other. That’s not some lie to make you feel better or to save you or anyone from feeling uncomfortable. It's just the damn truth. And you know what else is the truth? This is not you!” 

“And who gets to decide that? You?” She replies with a laugh. It's bitter and mocking. His nostrils flare, and he opens his mouth to say something but then thinks better of it. He closes his mouth, shakes his head at her, and holds his hand out to Joanna for the other bottle. 

“Mind if I borrow that?” He asks. 

“Go ahead. I’d say you earned it.” She says quietly and passes him the bottle. 

“Thanks.” He mutters and stomps off in the direction that Deen left. 

I barely have a second to digest what just happened, and what Gale said, had they only kissed a handful of times? Before she zeros in on me. 

“I guess we’re down to you by process of elimination.” She says as she looks at me. Her gaze is so hollow, so empty it doesn’t even contain sadness or humiliation or anger. She’s just….blank. 

“I guess.” I finally say, not knowing what the hell she wants me to say exactly. She couldn’t want a play-by-play, could she? 

She leaned back as if assessing me. And drummed her fingers on her knee. The icy look in her eyes made my skin crawl. 

“Well, you gonna cop to it or what?” 

I let out a startled laugh, shocked at her words, at her cavalier attitude. Even Joanna wasn’t this emotionless about sex. Joanna at least talked with a wicked gleam in her eye or an impish smile. But...there was nothing underneath Katniss’ gaze. 

And it makes me...hate her. I genuinely, really, hate her, for the first time. Here she was putting our private lives on display again. Dredging up the past, making me and Gale and even Deen seem like interchangeable pegs. I knew that it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t remember what happened. I knew she must somewhere, somehow underneath that mile-thick cold exterior, feel some kind of loss, some kind of pain. Yet, I hated her anyway. For taking this precious thing, this moment and memory that meant more to me, than I could even describe, and cheapening it. Ruining it, with her brash questions and her nonchalant attitude, and her fucking despicable apathy. 

“Sure. You want details?” I ask her, anger fully setting in now. She nods. I pointed an accusatory finger at the middle of her chest. 

“18. Victor’s village. October 29th, 11 pm.  My house. My bed. There was a half moon that night. You climbed in my window. You wore dark blue flannel pajamas, with little white buttons on them. You said you wanted to talk, to apologize for being such a shitty friend. I didn’t want to hear it. I tried to kick you out. You wouldn’t leave. You told me you were sorry for lying to me for so long-”

“What was I lying about?”

“Everything just about. You were never straight with me about what you had with Gale, or how you felt after the Games or any of it. You especially weren't honest about how much you wanted me, and for how long. Almost as much as I wanted you. That’s how it finally happened. Only because for once, you lowered yourself enough to my level to tell me the truth. And like a pathetic idiot, I jumped at the first fucking sign of recognition from you. God. Even now, everything is still on your terms. Always on your fucking terms. And it always will be, except now there’s not even a chance. There’s no way in hell we’ll ever even be friends is there?” 

She stares at me, with such an unreadable expression. It makes me feel like someone turned on a paper shredder and started to feed my heart into it. 

“Don’t worry about answering that. That’s one thing they didn’t change. Even after all they did to try and erase you, they couldn’t change that. Katniss Everdeen never fails rip out my fucking heart every time she has the chance.” I slam the bottle down in front of her and she flinches, just barely. 

But her face is still unreadable. It's like I didn’t even speak. I get up, as quickly as I can and start walking as fast as I can. Just wanting, needing to get away from her empty grey eyes. But I know I can’t escape them. They’ll just find me in my dreams. She always finds me. Still, I try to outrun the overwhelming despair that is close on my heels as I leave, not looking back. 

#golden cages #thg #fanfiction #everlark fanfiction #angst #hurt #no comfort #just pain #ouch #lemonluvwrites

[sapphicblight]

Idk if you have seen haunting of the hill house but I can't stop thinking of vegaspete in that universe. Like all of the cousins and brothers and like the conflict would be so delicious before finally arriving to love romantic or familial what have you. I just...there is really no horror au or spooky au when it comes to VP.

Like anything mike flanagan would suit them. I can literally see them playing out midnight mass. Vegas in the role of the priest bringing in a entity so that he may get the chance to live a life with Pete!

HI I LOVE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE SO MUCH MORE THAN I HAVE WORDS TO EXPRESS 👁️👄👁️

it’s a masterpiece. so much love was put into every single aspect of it, and it fucking SHOWS in the final product. i could write a novel length essay, but i won’t, because i’m trying to be normal about this. somehow. 

the possibilities for the theerapanyakuls’ various traumas manifesting as hauntings are endless and delicious, and imo could really work within canon as well. you mentioned midnight mass too for vegaspete and you’re definitely onto something there, because vegas has his weird religious culty vibe going on already with his naked firehazard mirror sessions. a lot of devil/demon metaphors have made the rounds for him (as well as a highly entertaining demon vegas au by @blackwatervial) and i’m a big sucker for anything that fits the ‘religious & horny’ aesthetic. 

i imagine vegas doing what his father demands him to do, and with each killing and round of torture and bad bdsm etiquette scene, his sins and inhumane acts begin to turn him into something inhuman. into a demon of his own making. it’s what he believes he was always meant to be, always was inside. a monster. maybe he also pushes himself to become like this to please his father. maybe his father is always calling him too soft, too human, so vegas strips away his humanity and flays his own soul into scraps to lay at his father’s feet — but it’s still not good enough. 

he starts getting delusions (or in his mind he finally sees the truth) about the reason for his failure being the main family, where korn is god and the guards are his angels keeping vegas from the glory he deserves because they’re punishing him for his sins. 

i’m remembering the bloodstain pattern on pete’s back during the coup, across his shoulderblades as if seeping from wounds left behind by angel wings having been ripped off. so yeah, maybe to vegas, pete is an angel, and in when he captures pete he strips him of his status, cuts into his halo, burns and then rips off his wings, and finally makes him join vegas in sin. he falls for pete, obviously, finds beauty in the extremely fucked up thing he’s remade pete into, worships pete in his own flawed way — and once he loves pete, the beautiful haze of it drops away. all that’s left is a man, broken beyond repair, all by vegas’ hands. angel or not, vegas destroyed the one good thing he had, the one thing that could have saved him. 

(on a non vegaspete sidenote, kim’s whole thing is protecting his family. the way kim’s fear could manifest, is that the moment he starts caring about someone, he can no longer see them as they are but rather as a brutally murdered version of themselves. it’s horrifying to look at, scares him to death, and it makes him push them away,even though the reason they look like this to him is because he loves and cares for them. he sees his brothers like that and one day he starts seeing chay like that too. maybe with chay the blood even drips down onto the floor, audible even when every other sound around them should be loud enough to drown it out. and it’s all part of his motivation to go to the extremes he does to both protect the people he loves and push them away; he’s terrified of them actually becoming the corpses he sees them as.)

🧍‍♂️ y’know how i said i wasn’t going to write an essay. i guess my final note is that the minor family compound was made for haunting, it’s practically asking for it, especially with its mazelike structure and all of vegas’ trauma weighing down the very air inside.

thank you so much anon for sending me this ask and making my brain go zoom, i had a lot of fun imagining vegas (and kim) getting haunted. 😊💖

(also, anyone who hasnt seen haunting of hill house go watch even if you don't like horror, trust me)

#wow ok #something took over me as i tried to answer this ask #thank you so so much for sending me this ask!!! #i had a lot of fun answering it #and thinking of what my favorite trauma vessels would be haunted by #i didnt even touch pete in this really #maybe that's for the best #wouldn't know where to begin w him #anyways i am not a horror writer #but i am embarrassingly into haunting of hill house #i want to eat that show whole #haunting of hill house #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #kimchay #not even i saw the kimchay addition coming #text #...this better not have awakened anything in me #i don’t even think i addressed your comment all that well #because rather than putting the characters into a flanagan scenario i just applied a flanagan lense to canon

[limetimo]

RAB fics I read 25-16 april

Downfall by Lunarde the black brothers trying to survive Walburga's parenting and insane abuse from other family members, like holly f the thing with Reg and the well was sooo inspired* (* fucked up beyond recognition in frish and exciting ways)

the deadly seven by remusjlupin1981 so regulus has a son, Apollo, whom he drops off at grimmauld place before going off to die in the cave (but it's tagged Regulus Lives AU, sooo...). Apollo gets raised first by wally then by the Malfoys and is a stone cold hard bitch who adores his younger cousin Draco and has a weird obsession with Harry Potter. Also Sirius is out of azkaban early

Misadventures' of Lily Evans and her three dipshit boys by Koten_Bliss jegulus asks Lily to surrogate for them. the formatting needs work (not quite a block of text but there needs to be more space between paragraphs) but I'll just feed it to a text-to-speech thing and we'll be golden

Ron and Harrys immortal Times. by CUM_Monster12 ron and harry reincarnate all over the place and end up being Orion and walburga firstborn twins

Tale As Old As Time by xojosten james interrupts regulus as reg is messing with a time turner in the room of requirement and poof, they end up in 1998, when Golden trio is having their eight year. James is a himbo and I need more Draco and Regulus interactions ♥

Vows by MorlayWritings regulus getting closer withxenophilius lovegood (romantically)

Party games and plaid PJ's by redhairedPadfoot everyone's a gay disaster, jegulus wolfstar the works, cute

For here you are, standing there, loving me (whether or not you should) by OptimisticDinosaur Sound of Music wolfstar AU, it's just, soooo goooood. and Regulus is a cutie patootie side character that's secretly a main character, just doing his best to protect his brother, his brother's 9 adopted kids, and his brother's new boyfriend

The Beginning Of An End And The Start Of a Story (One-shots) by StarRatzz various one shots, i only read a few so far but the writing is good

Strikers (takes two) by aureusprongs muggle uni football trans regulus slowburn jegulus ♥♥♥♥♥ im loving it

Pirates, Parrots, and Pining (oh my) by OptimisticDinosaur sirius faked his death, run of to the sea to join the pirates, and can't stop flirting with a fellow captain remus lupin. mastermind matchmaker Peter. james is living his best life. regulus has a cute little role of "OMFG SIRI WE FAKED YOUR DEATH STOP USING YOUR REAL NAME FFS". def check it out.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers? by georgia_sk regulus so bamf he went insane, first he ended voldy and now he's cooming for Dumbledore because dumbles is a little warmongering bitch. also slow repairing of his relationship with sirius, tonnes of trauma, slowburn jegulus, wolfstar and rosekiller getting their shit together.

Basilisks, Boggarts and Boyfriends (oh my) by OptimisticDinosaur sirius has custody of little harry and needs his house clean of all critters and dark magic. only, the exterminator, Remus, is fucken CUTE and harry adores him. Really, what other choice does sirius have than to smuggle various creatures back inside grimmauld place so that remus has to come back? CUTE AF

Lead Me Into the Light by third_crow regulus needs to get rid of a creepy ex, scores a new boyfriend in the process. jegulus

SUGAR HIGH by IvyCore RICH JAMES (RICH) SUGAR BABY REGULUS I REPEAT JAMES PAYS BIG BUCKS FOR REGULUS TO BE MEAN TO HIM AND THEY FALLIN LOVE AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEIR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP TRAUMAS TO FIGHT FOR THEIR LOVE

Pretty by rsbarelle Regulus' boyfried is pretty. the first year said so

#fic rec #regulus black

[harleybeaumont]

The Other Nevrakis

Chapter 7 - In My Feelings

Pairings- Drake x OC (Lilith Nevrakis), Liam x Riley

Book- TRR Book One 

Synopsis- Lilith Nevrakis is the younger sister of Duchess Olivia, and the black sheep of her family. Drake Walker is the best friend of the Crown Prince. Lilith and Drake are similar in that they both prefer random hookups to relationships. Once they meet, something in each of them changes and they both realize they want more out of life. But is what they want, each other?

A/N- This pretty much follows the events of TRR Book 1, but this is an AU where Olivia has a younger sister and Riley is Maxwell’s cousin. The story alternates between Lilith and Drake's POV, but not in first person.

Series Warnings- Language, Drinking, Sensuality, NSFW (there will be lemons!)

Word count- 3,090

18+ only

Click here to catch up.

Drake made the walk of shame back to his room in the Nevrakis estate, wearing just his pants and suit jacket. His tie and socks were shoved in his pocket. His shirt had been torn beyond repair, and he didn't even know where his shoes were. Lilith practically threw him out of her bedroom after he had made the grave mistake of calling out her name during sex. Drake rubbed his forehead, frowning. He wanted to feel angry with her for having such a stupid rule, but he was just angry at himself. This had been the best, but strangest sex of his life. It started out rough and angry, but at the end when she looked in his eyes it felt different. It made him feel something he hadn't felt before and he sighed as he entered his bedroom.

What the hell is wrong with me? Maybe I’m getting too old for random fuck sessions. Maybe I need to find a woman to have an actual.. He swallowed down the bile that was rising in his throat at the thought. ..relationship with. Drake shook his head. No woman wanted a relationship with him. Even Kiara, who was completely obsessed, only wanted him to screw her. Drake threw off his jacket and sat on the edge of the bed. He heard a knock at the door and frowned. He didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, but it was probably Liam. “Come on in.”

Liam entered the room, all smiles until he took in Drake's appearance. “Oh my god! Are you ok?” Liam's expression was one of pure horror.

“What?!” Drake panicked and ran over to the mirror. His mouth and chin was covered in dried blood, his lip was split open, and he had huge scratch marks covering his chest. He chuckled and Liam followed him into the bathroom as Drake began washing his face. 

“Lilith again?”

Drake grunted as he continued scrubbing off the blood.

“Did she punch you?”

Drake chuckled as he rubbed a towel down his face, “Bit.”

“Damn.. I know you like that kind of thing, but it never fails to surprise me.”

Drake laughed, throwing the towel back on the rack, “Maybe Riley’s a biter.”

Liam blushed and looked down, “Well.. I wouldn't know. But I doubt there's anything she could do that I wouldn't enjoy.”

Drake normally would have teased him for saying something so sappy, but tonight had him feeling all sorts of strange things. He pulled a clean t-shirt over his head. “I’m going to ask you something, and I don't want you to read anything into it.”

Liam looked intrigued and sat across from him on the bed. “Shoot.”

Drake ignored every voice in his head that told him to shut the hell up, or to make a joke. “How do you actually know… if you…” He pinched his eyes shut. This was truly painful. “..if you.. Oh fuck. If you like someone. Like.. the way you like Riley.”

Liam bit his lip to stop the smile from spreading across his face. “Wow.”

Drake felt his face get hot. “I told you not to read anything into it. I just.. want to know.”

Liam put out his hands defensively, “Ok. I won't.” He pushed out a long breath while he thought. “I suppose, feeling a deep connection with them.. If you find yourself thinking about them throughout the day.. Do you get the quintessential ‘butterflies in your stomach’ when you see them? When you see yourself in the future, are they with you? Do you feel like you would do anything to protect them? And then there's the physical aspect- wanting to just be next to them, or be.. intimate.”

Drake nodded and looked away. He rubbed the back of his neck ruefully. “Thanks. I know that's not what we typically talk about. I was just.. curious.” He felt embarrassed, like a kid who just had the ‘sex-talk’ with their parents.

Liam smiled sadly. “Drake. You deserve someone who makes you feel that way.. And who feels that way about you.”

Drake forced out a laugh. “You know me well enough to know that's highly unlikely.. But thanks.”

“I don’t think it's highly unlikely. You're getting older, and you're wanting different things. It happens.”

Drake wrinkled his nose, “Are you going to give me a lecture about my changing body?”

Liam laughed loudly, “I suppose I should have worded it differently.”

They laughed together, breaking some of the tension and Liam spoke up. “Don't be angry, but.. does this have anything to do with a certain someone who lives in this estate?”

Drake shook his head and looked away. He honestly didn't know what was going on in his head.. Or his heart. “No. I don't think so.”

Liam clapped him on the back. “Well.. if you ever want to talk about this kind of stuff, I'm always here. I know I tease you, but you're like a brother to me, Drake. You can tell me anything.. I’d never judge you.”

Drake’s heart swelled. Liam was so kind and had always been there for him- when his father died, when his mother moved away, when his sister moved to France without so much as a goodbye. Drake reached out and hugged Liam tightly. He felt Liam tense in surprise and then hug him back. They broke apart and Drake chuckled, feeling embarrassed. 

Liam smiled, “Well tonight has just been full of surprises. First Drake Walker blushes while asking me about love, and then hugs me?”

Drake looked away and ran his hands through his hair, “I do not blush, Rys.”

“Sure you don’t.” Liam chuckled. “So, on the bright side.. Since you were with Lilith tonight, you're clearly not impotent.”

 “Ya.” Drake didn't even feel relieved. The fact that he could only get it up around Lilith was.. concerning. He stood and stretched. “Anyway, I'm starving. Think there's anything to eat in Lythikos that isn't the souls of the innocent?”

Liam clapped him on the back. “Let's find out.” They left Drake's room feeling like their usual selves. Drake was thankful Liam didn't push him to continue talking about his feelings. He normally loathed that kind of thing, but tonight had him feeling some sort of way. He was a stranger to himself.

_____________________________________________________

Lilith awoke the next morning with a knot in her stomach and pain in her chest. Damn it all, if Drake didn't pop into her head. She grew angrier by the minute. Why did he have to say my name? Why did he have to make me feel things? And then there was the eye contact. The way he looked at her like no man had in years. Nobody since her ex, Gabe. As much as she had tried to harden her heart over the years, it still managed to break when she thought of Gabe. Everything he ever told her was a lie. She eventually found out that he had never been faithful throughout their entire year-long relationship. She swallowed down the lump in her throat. Stop it, Lilith. He's not worth it. No man is worth it.

She undressed and headed to the shower, pausing to look at her reflection in the mirror. Drake had once again left plenty for her to remember him by. The bruise around her eye from her fight with Olivia had finally faded enough that she didn't have to use an ungodly amount of concealer to cover it up. As Lilith stared at herself, emotions began to bubble up inside. She didn't know who she was or what she wanted anymore. Before she knew what was happening, a tear rolled down her cheek. Her breath hitched and no matter how she tried, she couldn't stop. Her face was covered in tears and she began full-on sobbing. 

What is wrong with me? Lilith was always certain of how her life would turn out. One day Olivia would marry and forget all about her. Then Lilith would be free to do what she wanted. To stay on the sidelines and read or paint or just be alone. That was the plan. Now, something inside had her wanting more. Something inside her hurt as she felt herself changing. She was a stranger to herself. 

Once Lilith had composed herself and finished getting dressed, she went to one of her favorite places in the estate- the library. It was one place she would surely be alone with her thoughts. As she pushed open the large wooden doors, she breathed in the familiar, almost musty scent of centuries old books collected by generations of Nevrakis. Dust floated past the beams of light that filtered in through the stained glass windows.The only sound to be heard in the room came from her steps as she slowly made her way down the rows of shelves stretched to the ceiling. This was her happy place, her childhood.  Lilith grazed her hand along a row of dust covered books that she hadn't read in years. She closed her eyes and grabbed one at random. 

Riley turned a corner nearly bumping into her. “Oh god, I'm sorry! I didn't know anyone else was in here.”

Lilith shook her head and smiled as her heart rate returned to normal, “No problem. I've been told I’m creepily quiet.”

Riley laughed and the two of them looked around awkwardly. “So, um, Lady Lilith, your home is lovely.”

 “Lilith is fine. And thanks.” Lilith nodded toward a glossy oak table surrounded by comfortable leather couches. “Wanna sit?”

“Yes please!” Riley was so overly peppy all the time, just like her cousin Maxwell. “I don't want to intrude on your reading time. I just had to get away for a moment. Sometimes this whole competition thing with Prince Liam can get.. intense.”

Lilith raised her eyebrows, “I can imagine. Especially when you’re going up against my sister.”

“Oh, right. For some reason I always forget she's your sister.” Riley looked at her, speaking hesitantly as she sat down. “You’re so different.”

Lilith laughed humorously. “Not according to some people.”

“Who?” 

Lilith shrugged. “It doesn't matter.”

Riley frowned, settling deeper into the couch cushions. “Well, if they cant see how different you are, then they’re pretty stupid.”

Lilith laughed. It felt good talking to someone who wasn't constantly trying to physically and emotionally cut her down, the way her sister did. “Thanks.”

“I don't want to overstep but.. It can't be easy living with Olivia.” Riley seemed hesitant to bad mouth Olivia around her.

Lilith sighed, “You got that right. And don't worry.. We don't get along. Feel free to talk shit about Olivia all you want.”

Riley giggled, “Well now I have two people on my anti-Olivia team.”

“Me and Maxwell?”

Riley chuckled, flipping her long brown hair to one side. “No, Max is too afraid of Olivia to talk bad about her. It’s you and Drake.”

Lilith sucked in a sharp breath at the mention of his name. Her stomach fluttered and she hated it. Riley looked at her worriedly. “Are you ok?”

Lilith felt a lump in her throat. Nobody ever asked her if she was ok.. ever. Her lip trembled and she felt her eyes begin to blur with unshed tears. She shook her head in response and the tears began to fall. To her surprise, Riley scooted over and wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her back soothingly and Lilith cried even harder. Someone giving her affection and wanting nothing in return was a foreign feeling. Riley wrapped her arms around her, and Lilith let herself cry for a long time. As embarrassing as it was to cry on an almost total stranger, it was actually nice.

Eventually her sobs subsided. “I’m.. sorry.” Lilith sniffed and wiped her tears on her sleeve. “I’m such a crybaby today.. I don't know what's wrong with me.”

Riley rubbed her back and spoke softly. “Lilith.. There's nothing wrong with you. You're a human being.” Riley brushed Lilith’s tear-dampened hair off of her face. “I know a little bit about how you were raised, and .. no matter what you were told, it's ok to feel. It's ok to have emotions.”

Lilith stared at her lap, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Are you sure?” She felt like a child all over again. 

Riley smiled sadly “Of course. I know we don't know each other very well but I’d like to change that. I’d like to be your friend.. if you want to be mine, that is.”

Her lip quivered again. “I’d like that.” Lilith had very few people in the world she considered a friend, past or present. “What do friends actually do?”

Riley laughed, “Braid each other's hair and have pillow fights?”

“You know what? I missed out on all of that growing up, so I’m in.”

They both chuckled and Riley nudged her. “We’ll make it happen.” Riley reached out and picked up the book next to Lilith. “Jane Eyre. Nice.”

“I've read every bit of fiction in this library at least twice.” Lilith chuckled, “Sometimes I just blindly grab one off of the shelf. It's like a little surprise. Sounds kinda stupid, but I like it.”

“That's really cool! I wish I could read more, but it always makes me sleepy!”

“You probably need reading glasses. That used to happen to me and it's because of the eye strain.”

“Oh, damn.” 

They chatted long into the day, and Lilith was surprised at the ease between them. Lilith remembered she had stashed a bottle of wine in the desk and pulled it out, smiling. “Up for a little day-drinking?”

“Fa sho!” Riley grabbed the bottle and popped it open with a bottle opener that was attached to her purse. She turned it upside down and took a huge gulp.

Lilith laughed, wide eyed. “I have wine glasses, you know!”

“No girl. If we're going to day-drink, we're gonna be as basic as we can be. Straight out the bottle!”

“God, you’re so much like Max.” Lilith laughed, “I mean that in a good way.”

“Hey, I'll take Max over Bert!” Riley took another big sip from the bottle. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Lilith shrugged as Riley passed her the bottle of wine.

“You don't have to answer if you don't want to. But.. is there a reason you got upset after I mentioned Drake? Max and Liam have hinted that you two are ‘involved’. Did something happen?”

Lilith sighed. She didn't want to talk about Drake. She didn't want to think about Drake.. it hurt too much.  But maybe it would help if she did. She took a small sip, “I don’t know.”

“Hey, it’s totally fine. I don't want to reopen any wounds.”

Lilith pushed out a long breath. “The problem is.. There shouldn't be any wounds. We aren't anything to each other. We just had casual sex a few times.”

“So you don't have any feelings for each other?”

“We don't even like each other.”

Riley looked confused, and Lilith didn't blame her. “Why not?” 

It was an easy question, but Lilith had no answer.  “I..”  She tried as hard as she could, but came up with nothing. She felt sick to her stomach and her heart sped up. “I don't..” Why didn't she like Drake? Was it because he only saw her as a Nevrakis? Did she want him to see her as something else? The questions continued as she began falling into a downward spiral, second guessing every opinion, every relationship she ever had. Why didn't she have any friends? Was there something wrong with her? Was she really as cold and evil as Olivia? She must be.

“Riley.” Lilith spoke shakily, feeling panicked. “I think it’s safe to say that I’m…” She choked up and spoke quietly. “..seriously fucked up.” Her head was swimming and nothing made sense anymore. Lilith shook her head quickly, “I have to go.” She jumped up and ran out of the room as Riley called after her. 

Lilith ran through the halls of her home as hot tears streamed down her face. She didn't know where she was going, but eventually found herself in the back of the gardens. This area was hidden from most of the estate. It wasn't beautiful and well maintained like the rest of the grounds. It was ignored and sad looking, the way she felt. She lowered herself onto a cracked stone bench that was sticking out of the snow and put her head in her hands. Lilith closed her eyes tightly, and images of her life passed before her:

Six year old Lilith sat alone in her bedroom on her birthday. No presents. No friends. She had never even been invited to a birthday party before.

3 years later..

Nine year old Lilith stared up at the old family portrait on the wall in the great room. Her mother, father, and Olivia, were all smiling and happy together. She walked past the portrait every day and always wondered why she wasn't in that picture.. Even though she was two years old at the time.

4 years later.. 

Teenage Lilith, curious about her parents' past, decided to go through her mothers vanity. There, folded up beneath several pieces of jewelry, she discovered an unmailed letter from her parents to Lucretia. ‘This one was a mistake’ was written across the back of Lilith's baby picture. She never even got around to reading the letter because she was afraid it would break her heart even more.

3 years later..

Sixteen year old Lilith sat alone in the back of the cafeteria as usual, while the other students gave her wary looks. She heard them mumble ‘Nevrakis’ and ‘stay away.’ 

4 years later..

Lilith let a boy she had just met at a bar push her up against the dirty bathroom wall and take her virginity. After one year of dating and loving that same boy, she heard him tell another girl he loved her.. Cheating on Lilith in her own house on her twenty-first birthday.

Lilith saw the disappointed look on her sister's face every time she did anything she actually enjoyed. She saw Olivia throw her paintings into the fire.

Lilith saw memories of herself looking in the mirror, reprimanding her reflection every day as she further hardened her heart. 

These were the moments that defined who she was. These were the moments that broke her. Lilith sobbed as she wondered if she could ever escape them.

#trr fanfic #the royal romance #choices fanfic #drake walker #drake x oc #liam rys #lilith nevrakis #maxwell beaumont #liam x riley #trr #olivia nevrakis #the other nevrakis

[cherryphobe]

Made myself cry thinking about my friends cat who passed away tw animal abuse & death under cut

When i still worked at spencers i had a work friend whos family life was really. Awful white trash fr. Like he was a GOOD kid stuck in a really bigotted area w his family & like his immediate mom was great but when he turned 18 he got access to his late dads inheritance which for him as his only son was, Everything. Unfortunately Everything was just, the trailer his grandparents were living in. & his family moved out the super backwoods nowhere Mississippi. & I would go out to see him cuz we were friends & we would smoke alot together but his extended family was really awful. His grandparents had this old long hair grey cat named Indi that everyone tried to tell me was fucking Evil. Like he'll attack you unprovoked! Hes only ever nice to grandad at meal time & that's it. Watch yourself he'll really mess you up!

Yall when I First Met this cat all I did was low & slow leave my hand out to sniff. He sniffed. & sat next to me the entire night I was there. Never in my lap. Just on the side table by my chair. Occasionally let me pet him. Whole family was shocked. They really thought he was just this, mentally unwell aggressive animal beyond repair.

The more I would visit them, the more I would just, offer my hand. Offer my quiet comfort. More petting sessions. Eventually leading to him sitting in my lap. If I stayed the night I'd often wake up in the middle of the night with him somewhere on the couch with me. He'd be gone by morning when everyone else was awake. It was so clear... the family was just loud. Chaotic. Abusive. His grandmom was literally abusive towards all the family pets. & while my friends dog was very mild mannered & well trained, his cousin had a Truly aggressive & untrained chihuahua mix thathad to be caged literally at all times Inside or else it would tear the place apart. The only other Livinf Creature in that entire house that Indi had Any form of trust for what his Grandad.

Anyways. Covid happened. I was absolutely Not going to be spending Any time with his conservative extended family during that time. So I didn't see him for nearly a year before visiting one more time before moving out of state. During that time he let me know Indi had passed away. & all he would tell me is that his cousins dog got loose. & that it was too much, too graphic, to tell me about.

They buried him in their yard. I said some goodbyes. It never really set in, idk. Not seeing him in so long, covid creating a world of Bigger problems. It just never registered.

But that cat was neglected & abused. I was probably the first person to show him not even Kindness, but even just understand Fundamentally what a cat needs to feel comfortable & communicated with. All I needed to show him that gained his trust was the patience to let him come to me at his own pace, & an interest in wanting him in my space too. & I'm genuinely fucking sobbing over the fact that I was the only person in this cats life to show him that. & I didn't see him for a year before he died from being mauled to fucking death by their cousins shitty dog. Its been years & you cant save them all but it breaks my fucking heart.

Indi I'm so sorry I couldn't help you more.

#long post #sorry if the read more doesnt work

[chiefatticcreator]

Prompt: being called a stud so many times manifested in hormonal!Jacks mind. Once he hears the word (even non-sexual) he gets the mindblowing need to fuck and breed someone.

(Hey, an hormonal!jack asks! It's been a while, i love them!)

"OHH FUCK ME STUD! YOUR COCK IS GREAT OH FUUUCK!" Genji and Hanzo screamed in unisson as they were fucked by the teen's enormous cock, the two sisters' minds going blank from serving jack's cock. The two japanese girls laid on top of each other, each feeling Jack's cock stretch their holes more than anything had ever done, bringing them more pelasure than they could ever imagine.

......

"You're such a stud, little brother..." Lynn sighed, happily rubbing her belly, bloated full of cum, as she watched her once shy and whimpy little brother completely dominate their mother with his cock. The once abusive mother reduced, just liek her daughter, to be nothing more than a set of holes for jack to fuck and fill as he wished..

.........

"You're even more of a stud than any stallion we've ever kept~" Jessie McCree grinned, seeing her cousin's enormous bulge as she reached out to stroke his cock in front of her friends. "And a stud like you deserves his own stable of mares, and that's what we are~"

......

"You exceed my wildest expectations." Moira smiled, licking her fingers clean of Jack's cum as she looked at him in wonder. "But i'm sure i could make you even more of a stud~" Endurance, cock size, sexual potentcy, libido... she had increased alll of them beyond human levels, but she could go further, make the teenager a true God of sex~

.........

"Calling Jack a "boy" is insulting him." Angela glared at Ashe, the two girls having gotten into an argument after the blonde heared the white-haired girl calling her master a "cute boy". "You should call him 'maste', or 'stud', because that's what he is!"

........

"Okay, i'm going to fix the wheels to that rollerblade... Jack, can you pass me the studs?" Brigitte asked, a hand reaching out towards her friend.

She had invited him at her and whilhelmina's home, and they would fuck in a moment, but she had this project to work on, repairing Luciana's skates.

She hadn't expected to be pushed against the wooden table of the garage by the boy, gasping as she felt his cock smack against her ass.

"Coem on, Jack, wait just a minute!" she protested, half-giggling. "I'm almost done, i just need to get the studs and... Ohhh!"

Her eyes rolled all the way to the back of her head as her master's immense cock speared her, slamming into her cunt all the way to the back of her womb. Her legs trembled as an orgasm shook her from the moment his hyper dick entered her.

Well, she could always finish the repairs later, she supposed.

+++++

".. and, as you can see on this pictures, examples of how weapons, armors and dresses were decorated at that time." mrs. Amari smiled, showing off the next slide to the class.

"Here you can see buttons, cuff links, some patterns engraved in the metal such as these studs here and there and... Jack!"

Jack was usually pretty good at listening in class, only reserving the fucking for after, or before, or during but discreetly. It wa quite unusual for him to get up in the middle of mrs Amari's sentence and bend one of his classmates over her desk. But that was what he was doing, the sound of their fucking drowning out any further progress of the lesson as the tacher and students alike watched on.

#hormonal!jack #hormonal jack #hormonal!jacfk

[iceripperthethird]

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh my god. Something they never tell you about car accidents, even minor ones, is just how goddamn long it takes to take care of everything afterwards. Got sideswiped by a semi as soon as I got on 465 earlier today and it took almost 5 hours to get it all sorted out with the police and insurance and rentals and repairs and all that stuff. Holy shit I’m tired

also it’s 4:45pm and I haven’t eaten since 7am because I was supposed to be at my cousin’s house 3 hours ago but I got sideswiped by a semi as I was merging onto 465 in a construction zone. I was a little busy and forgot to eat.

I’m fine, btw. Car’s scraped to hell and dented, hood’s all fucked up, passenger side headlight is out of place, still technically drivable. Won’t be able to get it into a body shop for another week and a half and I hate it and I don’t want to look at it, but it’s fine. I’m beyond pissed about it, but if guardian angels are real, then mine was probably saving me from a 17 car pileup on 65. Severely annoying and inconvenient, but still manageable

#I *just* signed for that car in December #and I was looking forward to this weekend with my cousins for a MONTH AND A HALF #we’re all disappointed but thankful that I’m okay #it could’ve been a lot worse #I’m still fucking pissed though #bb’s bringing me food

[autumnbell32]

jesus the pmdd this month just about killed me.

the only thing that kept me from admitting myself to the hospital was the fact that i knew that my symptoms would most likely subside once my period started, and it started today.

called the helpline multiple times, lots of crying, accommodation days and personal time used, friends had to come sit by me for hours at a time...just...gnarly. i lose all sense of self when this bullshit happens. and when i feel myself starting to wake up again, the guilt and the shame and the sense of loss is extremely painful. i wish my doctors would actually, you know, HELP?!

also, i gave up on asking immediate family for help- in fact my therapist encourages me not to because they willingly make things worse. our relationships are beyond repair, if i could completely cut them off and feel safe, i believe i would. i had to rely on a distant cousin, a neighbor, and the few friends i have. my immediate family knew that i was struggling so badly again and i didn't hear from them at all. i could become unalive (i don't currently have SI, so don't freak out) and lay here for a week because my family does not fucking check on their mentally ill family member. disgusting.

#PMDD #premenstrual dysphoric disorder #bipolar disorder #tw depression #i absolutely believe the theory that sylvia plath died from this

[biteypyrotiger]

Sleep has been shitty lately and I'm so far from tired so let's go back to night blogging shit though today it's just a feelings vomiting rant. Don't mind me.

My uncle died Sunday. He was a good guy who opened his home up to a lot of people and, in addition to his own kids, was a father figure to many others and Santa Claus to many more. He was also funny as hell. He's someone that you don't want to see leave the world. That said, we didn't have much of a relationship and while I'm sad that he's gone, we weren't close enough for me to be truely grieving. I only ever saw him a few times a year and with my going no contact with my mom and, by extension, her whole family, I haven't seen or spoken to the man at all in years.

His obituary was clearly written by his son, my cousin, who is a professional writer and shares his father's sense of humor and cadence of speaking, both that come through clearly in text form.

It's making me think about how I would write the obituaries for my parents. After all, my dad is the same age as my uncle, my mom a year behind, and both, I believe cureently older than either of their fathers were when they passed.

My family isn't good with sentimentality or emotions or grief so generally we've left it up to the funeral home, always the same funeral home, to write it. Which yielded my grandmother's obit that basically said "She was married, had kids and grandkids, she had a job and she liked cats." What a shitty way to sum up a person. But we are too emotionally constipated for any sort of heartfelt public display where we might talk about how involved she was in our lives or that she was a very nice person.

Beyond that, my parents can, at best be described as complicated people with my brother and I having relationships with them that are even more complicated.

So what would I say?

Mom died recently. She spent around 40 years working as a nurse in psychiatric wards and has two living siblings and one kid she talks to and another she doesn't.

She really wanted to be involved in her kids' lives but instead spent their entire lives working a night shift and often going one or two weeks without seeing her kids because of it. And then she was always so upset at everything her daughter did and held a strong belief in the effectiveness of the silent treatment and so could easily go a month at a time without speaking to her daughter. Her son she coddled to the point of damaging his ability to care for himself.

She was generous with her time and money, often offering expensive gifts and cleaning the homes and spaces of her family without their having to ask. Or grant permission or be allowed input and then if you weren't happy with the imposition or your lack of say in the matter she'd be angry and call you an ungrateful brat.

She was terrible with money and was a bad nurse. She really wanted her kids to be what she thought kids should be like and forever be children dependent on her. She probably has multiple undiagnosed mental health problems because, in spite of being a mental health professional, she doesn't actually ever think about mental health.

Dad worked as a software engineer for his career and did some cool projects. He had two kids and a sister.

Dad spent decades volunteering with the boy scouts where he tried to make up for his abusive and emotionally volatile parenting of his actual kids with other people's kids, having only realized he fucked up when both his kids ended up needing a lot of therapy.

He was very supportive of his daughter who might be the only other person on the planet he identifies with at all. Even so, his daughter knows nothing about his emotions or really about 90% of what his general life was.

His entire relationship with his son can be summed up with abuse, mutual spite, and, by his son's late twenties, deep regret he can't articulate or repair.

He has no friends ad a dwindling family that he is too emotionally constipated to really have a real relationship with.

He really liked cats, space, and building models.

I feel like, as much as I hate the obit the funeral home wrote for my grandmother, I probably won't be able to put together anything that us simultaneously positive and honest.

I'm sure my cousins had issues with their dad, but in balance, it doesn't seem like they steugfled to write something positive and honest.

Side note, communicating my mom's version of generosity as a bad thing is often hard to do to people that haven't seen a lot of the context so if that doesn't make sense as a negative point let's just say that her generosity and acts of service look nice on the surface but are almost always about what she thinks the recipient should want. Which is to say, they should always want what she does and you're not allowed to disagree or often even have an opinion. I had a dream the other night that she broke into my house and reorganized and repainted the entire house without ny permission. And that is legitimately the kind of shit she does and something I would legitimately be worried about her doing if we were in contact and she knew where I live. And then if I was mad about the physical and psychological intrusion, she'd scream and tell me I'm an ungrateful little shit of a child.

#personal #long post

[steadywastelandvoid]

"What do you consider your racial background to be?"

Inbred, Susan. I'm fucking whiter than the tylenol I take every day for my damn scoliosis aches.

#i do not understand why white culture cares so much about percentages #i don't give a damn if i'm related to Charlemagne its probably his fault that I have weird thumbs #Talk about plenty of fish in the sea but you choose your cousin great great grandpapa #What would my ancestors think of my lifestyle???? They ain't got room to complain #Fucking great granny to the 4th and her canoodle with her cousin is the reason we're all clinically depressed beyond repair #textpost #lmao #white people shit #mine #shitpost

[bluebellhairpin]

I Am Back with Some PacRim AU Content That No One Asked For. Again. Because I Self-Indulge. A Lot. 

Masterlist

In celebration of my apparent need to hop back onto the AoT PacRim AU bandwagon, I’ve decided to put together a list of the Jaegers from my fic-verse. 

The Current Jaegers are the ones that are operative at the time of the fic. The Retired Jaegers are the ones no longer in use, due to damage or the Pilots dying. The Jaegers that are In-Construction are the ones that we could see in later fics. 

In the PacRim-verse, there are two pilots to a Jaeger, and they are incharge of a majority of one hemisphere in the Jaeger’s ‘brain’. The Pilot of the Left hemisphere is known as the more ‘in command’ of the two pilots. Listed below are the Pilots with each Jaeger, and the first pilot listed in the one in control of the left hemisphere. 

Current Jaegers; 

Freedom Scout (Rebuilt) (Mark-5) - Piloted by Hange Zoe and Levi Ackerman 

Warrior Titan (Mark-6) - Piloted by Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover 

Eagle Eye (Mark-2) - Piloted by Miche Zacharias and Nanaba Zacharias 

Saint Wrath (Mark-6) - Piloted by Armin Arlert, Eren Jaeger, and Mikasa Ackerman

Servo Niner (Mark-5) - Piloted by Connie Springer and Sasha Braus

Retired Jaegers; 

Freedom Scout (Mark-3) - Piloted by Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman

Blue Kiss (Mark-2) - Piloted by Levi Ackerman, Fulran Church, and Isabel Magnolia

Rebel Riot (Mark-1) - Piloted by Kenny and Kuchel Ackerman 

Bone Breaker (Mark-1) - Piloted by Erwin Smith and Maria Wall 

In-Construction Jaegers; 

Shock Stain (Mark-7) - To be Piloted by Levi Ackerman and (y/n) (l/n)

God’s Hammer (Mark-7) - To be Piloted by Zeke and Eren Jaeger 

Icarus Fallout (Mark-7) - To be Piloted by Annie Leonheardt 

Below I’m going to list some traits/headcanons of the Jaeger’s, and I’m putting them under the cut because this could get lengthy - especially for those who don’t want this. So for those who enjoy my offering to the Tumblr Void, here -

Freedom Scout (rebuilt version) 

Overall Achiever. These guys get’s shit done, by any and all means.

Hange is the Pilot, and Levi is their co. Honestly they weren’t drift compatible in training, but as time went on things changed. 

They both actually work very well together. 

Scout is a very sleek Jaeger, good for maneuverability and fast attacks. Quick. Clean. Just like Levi likes. And Hange lets him because he let’s Hange be messy every once in a while. Vary rare once-in-a-while’s. 

Warrior Titan

Yeah yeah yeah I’m very shameless with the naming of this Jaeger. 

It’s only natural that Reiner and Bert get a Jaeger together, considering out of all the canon-verse characters they do get along best. 

Their Jaeger is very durable. Mainly defencing offence, and keeping Kaiju’s at bay rather than efficiently fighting them. If it’s a higher-level Kaiju, they’d be deployed to wear it down and they’d do that easily. 

It’s an Armoured Jaeger, guys. That’s all I’m trying to say. 

Eagle Eye

Miche and Nanaba are currently on Maternity Leave in the fic-verse. 

A side-effect of the neural handshake needed to pilot a Jaeger, both pilots can get a thing called ‘ghost drifting’. Miche get’s it all. The. Time. Especially when Nana is going through her blood-filled monthlies.  

You can only guess how haywire it is rn. 

They’re Jaeger is very tactical, and it is one of the Marshall’s favourites for this reason. 

They’re not afraid to back down from a fight and ask for help. They prefer keeping things easy rather than taking risks.  

Saint Wrath

Jaeger’s piloted by three people are very rare, even in the pacrim-verse. But they do exist. 

Usually there’s a reason behind that - an extra limb (See: Crimson Typhoon) or some sort of more advanced weaponry (See: Titan Redeemer) - and in this case it’s just because it’s so fucking big. 

Like it’s called a Saint cause those Kaiju’s better start praying, ya know? 

Armin focuses on where to move the damn thing and how to do it and Eren and Mikasa just get it done. Like, two Braincells, and Armin has half of each. 

Eventually, Jean replaces Eren. 

Servo Niner

It’s a small Jaeger but good grief does it bring forth the chaos. 

Like think of a chainsaw, a crocodile, the feeling you get late at night, and whatever red thing was in ‘Crimson Peak’ all in a room together and you’re about halfway close to thinking of what Sasha and Connie do to the Kaiju’s. 

It looks like a Jaw Titan. But big enough to fight a Kaiju. 

You can hear them playing ‘MIC Drop’ by BTS as they slaughter the children of the Precursors. 

Like lemme in on that action guys, you make it look so fun. 

Freedom Scout (OG)

Before Erwin lost his arm, he Piloted this Jaeger with Levi as his co. 

Having both been in a Jaeger before they were rather experienced. 

Levi trusted Erwin quicker than he did Hange from their training days, hence why they piloted together sooner too. 

But then there was a Kaiju, and the Jaeger took heavy damage, Erwin lost his arm, and the rest is history. 

Blue Kiss

Levi, Furlan and Isabel piloted the first three-pilot Jaeger, in the fic-verse, and most of the reason behind that was because they’re so inseparable. 

They entered training as a trio of childhood friends, and exited as legends in the making.

Furlan and Isabel died with that legend marked on their graves, while Levi was the one left behind. 

The Jaeger was more of a prototype than a real-deal Jaeger, which is why it didn’t last very long or rake up many kills before it was bested by a Kaiju. 

Rebel Riot

Kenny and Kuchel were two of a three-person trial run. Their cousin was not chosen to complete the trial runs and was sent home. The trials were then known as a two-person trial run. 

The two didn’t really get along, or agree, but they often compromised with what they had to do in order to get the jobs done. 

They were very deadly. However, due to the side-effects of the ‘trial run’s’, Kuchel had a blackout while piloting, and the event caused Kenny to have to pilot alone. 

They didn’t pilot again. 

Bone Breaker

This Jaeger was one of the first produced, however sat stagnet until Erwin and his co-pilot Maria came along. 

During a fight with a higher-level Kaiju, this Jaeger and another piloted by Maria’s sisters - Rose and Sina - was damaged beyond repair. Maria died, while Rose and Sina didn’t want to ever pilot again. 

Erwin was determined to not let Maria’s sacrifice go to waste, and after a couple months he decided to look for a new co-pilot. 

Alongside Rebel Riot, it was a Mark 1 Jaeger. Now it’s restored helm is in a museum, and can be visited by anyone who wishes to see what it could be like to be inside a Jaeger’s ‘head’. 

Shock Stain

The first of the Mark-7 Jaegers, this is another that could easily count as an ‘all-rounder’. 

It’s name comes from it’s weapons - a set of electrically charged wrist guards - that can be used to stun and disorientate the Kaiju’s.  

Levi and his pilot work insanely well together - so much so that it could be considered more than simply ‘drifting’. 

As of yet, they don’t pilot together, bu in the near future they will, and they would be unstoppable. 

God’s Hammer

Eren decides to traide up the three-person Jaeger for another. One with his Brother. 

Dumbass ends up getting border-line brainwashes before he pulls a uno reverse card on Zeke. 

Despite the mighty name, the two aren’t actually that great, and they end up getting pulled out of piloting after a few drops. 

They’re replaced by Pieck Finger and Porco Galliard. 

Icarus Fallout

The first of it’s kind - a Jaeger small enough to be piloted by a single person. 

Again for emphasis - it is very small - however it’s use is to be an aid to the larger Jaegers. Serving as a extra weapon of sorts. 

Despite it’s size, it is very strong, and it is very maneuverable and a fair amount faster than the other Jaegers too.

Annie was chosen to pilot this Jaeger, mainly because she doesn’t trust easily at all - but also because she works exceptionally well on her own, and can read situations very easily. 

#pac rim au #levi ackerman x reader #attack on titan #levi ackerman #reiner braun #eren jaeger #erwim smith #miche zacharias #hange zoe #bertholdt hoover #nanaba #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #furlan church #kenny ackerman #kuchel ackerman #isabel magnolia #sasha braus #connie springer #jean kirschtien #annie leonhardt #porco galliard #pieck finger