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#my dear dear MLA format
venerablegreatking · 2 years
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That Time I Realized Exactly What Executive Dysfunction Was With Instructions On How To Write An Effective Conclusion For Your Next English Comp Essay On The Side
I thought I knew what executive dysfunction was.
I knew it meant having trouble starting and finishing projects. I didn't think I had executive dysfunction, even when the signs were right there, and here's why.
I thought that when executive dysfunction stopped you from starting projects, it meant you avoided starting them. In my case, though, it didn't. When I had to write essays in college and high school, back when I was unmedicated, I would wait until I was in a good mood and had ample free time to start my work. I would open up a blank word document and start by putting my name, the teacher's name, the course name, and the date, as is standard MLA format. I would put a placeholder for the title, as those are easier to form after writing the essay, and then I added my page numbers. And then, I would stare at the blank word document for 10 minutes, trying to think of something to write; it mattered not what I did, for I just could not bring myself to start writing. So I would put it off until the due date, when the pressure of failing would force me to write.
This is executive dysfunction. I could prepare to start as much and as long as I wanted, but I could never actually start. I thought that my preparation to start my essay to-be counted as starting. It did not. And, until yesterday, when I was actually able to start my work within seconds of finishing my preparations, I never realized I had executive dysfunction.
After I started my essays, I would build a brilliant introduction and background to my topic, as well a strong body overflowing with in-text citations, topic sentences, and effective argument techniques; everything a perfect essay could ever need. But when it came time for a conclusion, I was stumped. I knew that the average conclusion was supposed to include a rewrite of the thesis statement and a recapping of all the plot points, but I could never truly "wrap it up." I could restate my prior points perfectly, and I could do a fairly decent job connecting them, granted my brain was able to focus that day. They were strong points, but my conclusions were never strong enough. In my conclusion, after restating the thesis and recapping/connecting my body points, I was once again stuck.
The best essay I ever wrote was when I was in high school taking English Comp I. My conclusions were always my biggest weak point, and my teacher noticed. On my third and second to last essay, she reached out to me. She helped me recap and connect my body points, and, afterwards, she gave me some advice.
To truly "wrap up" an essay, you have to...
I don't remember. I don't remember what she said to me, but my conclusion came out perfect.
My essay was about Grey wolves, and how they were stupidly taken off the Endangered Species Act by one well-known, mentally unstable, walking orange with too much power. I talked about how they were low in numbers, how they were especially vulnerable during their proposed hunting season, and... I talked about the stigma. The stigma that reaches all the way back to Columbus' time, when wolves were an inconvenience for the settlers, preying upon livestock confined to their pastures. The stigma that made them out to be demons, fiends that would run about in the night and cause nothing but mischief and mayhem. The stigma that made killing them off a noble enough task to warrant a bounty. The stigma that made them so vulnerable, so weak, and so, so scarce.
They say that history is always written by the winners, and, in the case of the Grey wolf, this statement could never be more true.
Bringing this back up is making me pretty salty isn't it? But I digress.
I wrapped up my essay perfectly, and here, my dear tumblrinas, is a paraphrasing of my parting words:
"As long as the stigma surrounding Grey wolves persists, they will always remain endangered. They became endangered the minute the pilgrims stepped off their boat."
That. That is what a conclusion is supposed to look like. After connecting my ideas to my thesis and to each other, I just did not know what to do. But that, that up there, that is what you are supposed to do. You are supposed to re-assert yourself. You mention your opinion only twice. Once in your introduction, and once in your conclusion. You put the idea out there, right at the very beginning, so that it sits there in the back of your reader's mind for the rest of the essay. And in your body paragraphs, you give the facts. The ones that support your thinking, but also the ones that do not. You compare and contrast the viewpoints, where they converge, where they diverge, and where they end up. And, if your topic is important enough to the right people, you will find a happy medium. A compromise, so that both your concerns and your opposer's concerns can be addressed. Can be acknowledged. Can be put to bed.
And then, once you have stated your case and laid the facts bare and unbiased in front of your reader, you clean them up. You pick up the papers that have scattered out of your case file, and put them back in order. You re-organize them, shuffle then neatly back into place, close them back up in your folder, and place that folder down with all of the care and gentleness you would a newborn babe. You give your reader a little recap, to make sure they are still with you, and to make sure they understand how these points all tie together flawlessly in support of your argument.
And then,
You drop that gentleness. You look your reader in the eye and assert yourself once more. After finishing up with the main meat of your argument, you are sure to have some leftover passions coiled within you. Righteous anger, bubbling up from within the pit of your stomach. A fire behind your eyes; a fire that can only be quenched by the tears of those who have wronged; those who have wronged this extraordinary planet and all creatures that walk upon it.
Yes I am still angry about the wolves, and yes this is still about my executive dysfunction, just hang in there, okay?
You take that anger, that fire, that righteous fury set on making your voice known, on protecting the things you hold dear and sacred to you that could not be protected otherwise, and finally, you assert your opinion. You drop that professional, unbiased courtesy that you've been forced to uphold, to display. You've stated your opinion, and you've stated your reasoning, and now,
now,
you "wake them up."
They have been reading your essay this whole time, picking it apart bit by bit and analyzing it. Analyzing you, the writer. And now that you are in their sights, now that you can finally be yourself, in all of your beautiful, biased glory...
You slap them.
Hard.
Right across the face, point blank.
You take your words, your weapon, carefully crafted for this very purpose, and you bludgeon them over the head with it as hard as you possibly can, and then some.
You have shown them all the rawest, deepest parts of yourself. You have cut out your heart, and displayed all that is written upon it. You hold it before their very eyes, and force them to take in every last inch of it. And they do.
You've taken what matters most to you, and you've put it on display for the world to see. You make it personal. And you make them care.
You make them care about it just as much as you do.
And, if that fails, at least you've made an impression. You've brought it to their attention. You've planted it, like a seed, in the back of their mind.
And that is what I had been struggling with. Over all those years; those countless years of essays that would always fall short of "good enough" in my eyes.
All because of my executive dysfunction.
And now,
now that all the essays have been submitted, and the assignments no longer handed out, and my words no longer requested, no longer being asked to be heard, do I finally realize what it means to truly start and end an essay.
An assignment.
A task.
A chore.
A hobby.
I really don't know why I am writing this. I guess that, after finally being able to think clearly after all those years, all the thoughts I've ever had, regardless of how fleeting, or half-baked, or pointless they are, deserve to leave. To live on, be it through my words, my actions, my pointless musings (much like this one), or through my love for creation.
I hope you are doing well, and I hope that you were able get a general gist of what I was saying. I have gone full on "essay-mode."
And guess what? I sat down, pulled up my phone, began a new post,
and,
I started it.
And then I ended it.
All at the same time, in the same sitting.
This was originally supposed to be a rant about me realizing I had executive dysfunction and explaining my experiences with it, but it's turned into something very, very different.
If you identify with anything I said above about struggling to start and finish assignments because your brain is leaving you on "Read" 24/7, maybe talk to someone about it.
I just wanted to get this all out here so that other people don't have to realize the hard way, like I did, that their brain has been effectively ignoring them their entire teenage/young adult life.
Oh, and also I guess it serves as like, tips and instructions on how to write an effective conclusion. For essays, arguments, debates, maybe even everyday conversations. It's just good advice in general when trying to communicate a thought effectuvely I guess.
Anyways,
I have been sitting in the same exact place on the same exact sofa for 2 whole hours typing this out and now my hand circulation is bad, and they're all cold and clammy and gross, and my mouth is dry becuase I've only had like maybe 5 sips of water max in the past 12+ hours, and I have yet to eat my lunch.
So I must now bid you adieu
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2-dsimp · 1 year
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Hi I’m coming out of my shell as the ~Empathy~ anon now that we’re starting a new life. You can still refer to me as such if you want lol ANYWAYS I agree so much with uhhh that person like remember back then when we could’ve skip school? And I gave an entire MLA format argumentative essay as to why go home? (Exaggeration but hey I do be uh speaking) I still dread the day I looked at the update with the go to class option as the result 💀
Guys listen ik being horny is fun and funny but c’mon… it may look like it but this isn’t truly a dating sim. It’s survival. Yandere Simulator but reversed. Let’s try to communicate and listen to each other out.
I’m not surprised with the outcome—in fact I’m GLAD. We already were screwed up immensely and were just piling up karma until ☠️ iykwim… not shocked, but disappointed.
Anyways imma try to see what imma vote later bc I’m TIRED 😴
also op thanks so much for this game!! It went haywire at the end but every update is always enticing, fun, artistic, tense, and overall amazing! Thanks for your hard work!!!!
@the-blogs-name
And Thank you dear players for playing it! The reactions I get from y’all brings me joy in making this game of mine and makes it all worthwhile! (>^ω^<)
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customwriter · 2 years
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showerbong · 5 months
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ATTN: [Redacted] MFA | Application Committee
Statement of Purpose
Dear Committee Members,
Let me start off by thanking you for this incredible opportunity to reflect on all of the ways my life has not turned out as planned thus far. Your request for a statement of purpose is timely considering that my state of existential dissatisfaction is currently (though temporarily) beating out my innate oppositionally defiant tendencies. Please bear with me as I hope to address all of your questions and concerns about my character and my work before this moment of lucidity passes and this part of myself (which aspires to better my spiritual and material conditions of existence) is swallowed once again in the high tide of my self-disgust. As I type this, I have one eye on the TV, which I have configured to play a 5-hour compilation of Dance Moms screaming scenes on endless loop.
I am sure that I am not a person you will take seriously, and, quite frankly, I'd prefer if you didn't. I think I would consider being taken seriously a personal failure as I do pride myself on being FUN, having an interesting PERSPECTIVE, and possessing at least a modicum of God-given talent.
After attending [redacted]'s Program for Writers, I have also made it one of my daily practices to make pointed yet subtle digs at anyone who tries to quote Lacan to me, or recommends a specific edition of Freud. A particular talent that I possess is the ability to have all of my creative material ripped off by fledgling rhetorical theorizers, who may or may not have just read Marx for the first time.
I'm sure it does not bear repeating that, I, as an author (and, I suppose, a narrator, meta-narratively speaking), am generally protected under the free speech & artistic expression, and ergo am not responsible for anything my characters say or do. Further information on this topic, I think, can be found in some shitpost called Death of the Author. All this to say, just because one of my characters teaches intro to college composition to first-year undergrads, where she is unable to answer questions about MLA formatting, never attends her own office hours, and smokes weed on the smoke-free campus behind a pillar before and after every class, does not mean that I, the narrator and author, do the same.
While studying in [redacted's] Program for Writers, I gained valuable experience teaching intro to college composition to first-year undergrad students, where I often answered student questions both in-class and during regularly-held office hours (biweekly). I do not struggle with substance abuse issues.
Generally speaking, my work is interested in the idiosyncrasies of the mundane, and in moments of coalescence between psychological and physical landscapes. I like to take particular note of urban environments under late-stage capitalism, particularly around Boston, where I spent a decade of my life in and out of psychological upheaval and a legion of dive bars. As a lifelong sufferer of inimical neuroses, I have a natural inclination towards characters wrestling with malaise, anxiety, and chips on their shoulders, particularly when everything around them looks like, and is, complete & utter shit. I don't shy away from grit and decay because I listened to a lot of punk rock growing up and used to smoke Parliaments. Currently, I am working on a collection of linked stories set in New England which explore occupation and purpose in rapidly-evolving cultural, environmental, technological, and economic microenvironments. I have also broken ground on a satirical, character-driven campus novel, inspired loosely by Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as well as the experiences of a close friend of mine, who, unrelatedly, battled substance abuse while enrolled in a graduate-level English program.
Despite all of this hardship, I have kept a sweaty grasp on my emaciated optimism's throat-- I owe this accomplishment entirely to Ottessa Moshfegh, whose interviews I have been watching at a low-yet-detectable volume during my hourly bong-ripping break. The way she rambles to the point of incoherence during book tour talks is an aspirational slay. I fantasize that if I could find her email address online and ask her what she thinks of the MFA, she would tell me not to bother, and just to spend my energy on the 90 Day Novel and slaying. Using the law of attraction, this is already my reality. I am famous, and writing this statement of purpose to you has been a court-mandated exercise in humility, because I am simply TOO slay otherwise, and people are getting worried. Anyways, if you read this, that's cool I guess, but I am not sure why I'd want to sign myself up again to be tortured by academics wishing to suck the federal loan money and lifeblood slay out of me... Peace
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So a very (not) fun thing is that in the last two essays my children’s lit teacher graded, she said my paragraph structure doesn’t make sense because two or three paragraphs could easily fit better as one and I just... it’s the ADHD, I’m so used to writing for my ADHD that I forget that people who don’t have reading comprehension issues don’t struggle with big paragraphs.
(that is a terrible last sentence for an English major to say, but it’s true!)
And I wish I could explain to her that it’s not... intentional? It’s just what makes the most sense to my brain. Trying to edit an essay with long paragraphs is insanely difficult on my brain because I lose track of which points I’m working on.
She’s not picky, this is a common complaint in some of my recent essays. That and that I either don’t use enough textual evidence or that I use too much and don’t dig into the quotes enough for close reading.
And she’s told me repeatedly that she loves my ideas, but I have trouble expressing them
Dear fucking god, look at the above writing. You see what I mean? Supposedly this could all work as one paragraph, but my brain is like, “noooo, these are separate points, so you separate them.”
Anyway, I plan on watching some videos to brush up on MLA format and close reading over spring break so that I can do better, and visit the tutoring center (virtually, via Zoom) before my next essay is due. And she’d probably love to discuss my problems with me and help me figure out how to improve, because she actually runs the tutoring department. Again, I just wish I could easily explain why I have the specific paragraph issue without it sounding like an excuse
There’s a story with a completely different professor who accused me of trying to get out of an assignment I’d already done before I sent her an email mentioning I had an allergic reaction to my book and I wanted to know if we needed it after the class the next morning because I didn’t want to buy a new copy if we weren’t using it any further
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felswritingfire · 3 years
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Thoughts on Leona Kingscholar? And Ruggie? I like them both! Especially that feral little gremlin!
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That's all the damn warning you get, Anon. You just opened a can of worms that you had no idea about.
ALSO, FOR THE REST OF YOU THERE'S GONNA BE FUCKING SPOILERS- LIKE, B I G T I M E SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 2 AND RUGGIE'S B-DAY-
So, pls watch yourself UwU
Ok, so, confession time: Ruggie is hands down one of my favorite boys. He is my bread and butter- my cinnamon apple, if you will. I just- ABSOLUTELY L O V E HIM.
If he told me to walk of a cliff, I'd do it. He'd just have to ask me- he wouldn't even have to use Laugh with Me on me. I'd just- fucking- Y E E T myself,
And now that I know about Rug's backstory??? Like??? Oml, Granny, I'll kill for you too, you beautiful woman. Also I relate a bit too hard to Rug growing up in poverty. Like, can understand why he's such a sneaky bitch. It's hard when you don't know when your next meal is coming. Also he's a genuinely sweet guy?? Like, once you get past the trust issues and shit- like, what a baby I just-
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I love him.
Easy. Simple. Ruggie Bucchi??? Absolutely adore- he's my discord icon. The first character I saw from this game.
And then we get to the fucking main show: Leona fucking Kingscholar himself.
I am about to make a lot of people either very pissed off or very emotional and either way, I'm just gonna fucking dump out EVERYTHING. So, sorry in advance.
So, I can write a 50 page essay on why this motherfucker pisses me off. MLA format with references.
The sheer audacity of this fucking man infuriates the shit out of me and I think the main reason is how the hell they presented his backstory. Because, on one hand: it is absolute shit he was pushed to the side and treated as second best compared to his older brother; on the other hand, the only glimpse we see of this is the servants whispering about him (which, again, that fucking sucks and they had NO right) when he was younger and then we immediately are presented with Ferena actually fucking being concerned about him after he wasn't at the party. Did he come in a little aggressive? Sure. But immediately after that he tries to talk to Leona and gets shut down, which, I understand has to do with his inferiority complex but the sheer audacity of this man- I fucking- he's presented to have this damn support system and yet he's too prideful to take it.
If we're supposed to feel sympathy (aside from our own experiences, because I know a very dear friend of mine who adores him and understands where he's coming from, so no- no shame in genuinely liking him- I just want to beat him up because he's such a dick), they royally fucked it up.
AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED IN HOW HE MANIPULATED ALL OF SAVANACLAW, TRIED TO FUCKING COMMIT MURDER ON A WHOLE OTHER DORM AND RUGGIE- LIKE, Y'ALL, HOW DO WE JUST GLOSS OVER THAT SHIT??? HE FUCKING TRIED MURDERING PEOPLE LIKE- Look, LeLe, I know you're angry about losing to Daisomnia all the time, but, man, fuck you. You're an absolute cock sucker and you do deserve to get punched and I will never forgive you for trying to turn fucking Ruggie into dust after you ripped away all the hope you gave to your entire dorm-
OH MY GOD-
MOTHER-
FUCKING-
ANOTHER REASON LEONA PISSES ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF. HE'S RIDING HIS FUCKING PITY DICK SO FUCKING HARD THAT HE CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FACT THAT ALL THESE PEOPLE LOOK UP TO HIM. LIKE, FUCKING, GET OVER YOURSELF, YOU RICH FUCKING BITCH. YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE GOING DOWN WHEN I FUCKING FINALLY HAVE THE POWER TO STRANGLE THE RICH. LIKE, HE'S SUCH A BIG IMPACT ON PEOPLE, IN A GOOD WAY, BUT ALL HE DOES IS GO 'oh, boo-hoo, woe is me- woe is me-' LIKE-
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW WHO SHOULD BE FUCKING SOBBING??? RUGGIE. RUGGIE DESERVED TO OVERBLOT. NOT YOU. THAT FUCKING BOY FUCKING PULLED MOST OF THE DAMN WEIGHT IN YOUR PLAN ALL BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE IN THE RIGHT. YOU ABSOLUTE FUCK WAD. HE WANTED GOOD THINGS FOR HIS DORM AND YOU ABSOLUTELY WRECKED IT.
LILIA DESERVED TO SHIT ON YOU EVEN FUCKING HARDER. FUCKING PISS BABY. FUCK YOU. BASTARD. UGUGUGHDHGHGHGDJL
AND THEN- HE HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO BE LIKE: "I'll do this again next year!" LIKE
BITCH
WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? I'LL FUCKING BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR LEGS, I JUST- RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHSDLKJFLKSDJFKLSDJFLKSDJF:LSDFJ
Off of that note, I am very proud of him in the third chapter for having a teaspoon of character growth and actually feeling guilty for what he did to Ruggie. Very proud of him there. NOW IF HE'D JUST GET OFF OF THE PITY TRAIN THAT'S BE FUCKING *chef's kiss* IMMACULATE.
Also, sorry, I am in firm belief that he is one of the people that has a canonical crush on MC and no, you can't convince me otherwise. Him, Floyd and Riddle. Those three so far. Absolutely am convinced. You can also argue Jack, he's so soft with us, but, I digress.
SO, TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, DEAR:
I adore Ruggie and Leona, despite the fact he can go fuck himself- I do very much care for him and had a heart attack during the Camp event when he got kidnapped and I almost fucking cried. So, like, it's straight up an issue of me being the only person allowed to murder him, but I haven't decided when he dies- he's the Megatron to my Optimus Prime. You know, without all of the... tyrannical murder sjkdsflj;sd
Anyway, enjoy y'all's day- Leona stans, I do love you. But y'all got shit taste and I think I should say it (jk, but I will fight your husband istg)
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Charlie’s College Crash Course #1: How to write a 10-page paper in 1 day
Background info first: I’m in the last year of my English undergrad degree and I’ve had to write at least 3 dozen 10+ page papers in that time. That being said, I’ve never once started writing a paper more than a few days in advance, and 9 times out of 10 I go for one day only. Honestly, this should be considered my trademark at this point because after all my high school AP courses and my English degree, it’s been going on 7 years of 1 day papers.
and so, dear friends, I would like to pass on this skill to you all. I should mention, none of this will work if you’re not already pretty solid on paper writing, i.e. if you only ever get C’s on your papers now this isn’t magically going to get you up to an A with one day. This is just to streamline the process, allowing for more time for other things or, more commonly, allowing you to not freak the fuck out when you realize the deadline is tonight at midnight and you’ve procrastinated all month on the final paper for your class.
(I should also mention that I’m currently procrastinating a 2.5k word paper due tomorrow night that I’ve only read one of two books for, so. There’s that.)
Anyway, without further ado, here we fucking go:
Step 1: Prep for the Day
this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, so make sure you prep the day accordingly. Ideally, you’d wake up before noon, make sure there’s nothing else planned for the day, and tell your roommates/parents to leave you alone until you officially reemerge at midnight (or, if you’re in college and have a 24 hr library, try going there. Mine has closed off study rooms that I can chill in, but if you’rs doesn’t just find a relatively comfy quiet spot). If you’re at home, pick one spot, clear it off super quick, grab some snacks and energy drinks, make sure you have everything charged and ready to go. I don’t recommend cafes or the like simply because there’s lots of distractions and also those places close before midnight, so you can’t stay there the entire time and therefor waste time moving halfway through.
Also, I would recommend taking a break between all the steps after this one. Don’t let the break take too long, but just long enough to walk the block, or grab another snack, or do some stretches, or watch a ten minute video, something like that. I personally never break at a natural stopping point, because then I’ll never get back to it, but how you break is up to you.
Step 2: Preliminary Research
now normally I do some preliminary research beforehand. Basically looking into the topic, figuring out generally what resources would be best, etc. That can usually be done in five to ten minute bursts throughout the week or so before the due date, whenever the topic comes to mind.
But then again, I’ve also procrastinated that until the very end as well, so. Usually all that takes if you go for the day of is some quick google scholar searches, or if you have access to the MLA database that works as well. Or, if you’re more like me, you could just deep dive on wikipedia and check out what relevant facts pertain to what numbers in the bibliography, then go ahead and cite those wherever possible.
Basically, get a good base knowledge of the big facts. This step should be quick and dirty. For instance, for my paper my sophomore year on Robespierre (14 pages written in a record 6 hours) I combed through his wiki, some websites on the French Revolution, and watched the Crash Course youtbue video on the subject. The rest of the research was done after I did my first outline. 
Step 3: Outline #1
This is just a basic “What the fuck am I talking about” outline. It can be bullet points, numbers, stream of consciousness, i don’t care as long as it works for you. 
For the Robespierre paper, my first outline was something to the effect of: -born poor -school -elected to govt -took over govt -killed people -got killed
and that was it. It’s like, before you build a house you have to clear off the right amount of land, make sure there’s nothing in your way, and give yourself a vague area in which to build. Super simple stuff.
I did get some advice, from somewhere I can’t remember, that a paragraph is basically equal to half a page, and so (excluding one page length for your intro + conclusion) you should have around two paragraphs or ideas per page. So my outline above would need some more points, there, to keep me on track for my page count. I eventually added a whole paragraph about how he was chosen to read for a visiting King Louis at his school and was then ignored which made him hate the monarchy, and another about what happened after he died what with the government in shambles, etc etc. So two bullet points per page should do it.
Step 4: More Research
This is where you get a little more in depth. Look at your bullet points and learn everything you need to about them. 
For my first bullet, I found stuff like: “Robespierre was born in France in 1758 as Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre (the third of this name), to a lawyer and the daughter of a brewer, he had two siblings, and he could read by age eight. he also loved pigeons and started a lifelong feud with his sister over one that he gave her that she let die."
and then I would move on to the next bullet point, and so on and so forth, filling in the gaps. Make sure to keep track of where your info comes from, as well. It doesn’t have to be a full citation, but just the hyperlink after the fact is going to save you so much time, i promise
Pro Tip: don’t throw out anything as irrelevant just yet. Just gather all the facts, no judging. Trust me on this.
Step 5: Better Outline
this is where you start to have fun with it. I would like to remind you that no one, unless you have some crazy micromanaging professor, sees your outlines. This is for you and you only, so write it in whatever way makes sense to you. It can be colorful and fun and whatever you need it to be.
 I actually took screenshots of my outline for that robespierre paper (hence why i chose that one as an example) so here’s a look at what I do:
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so, really, honestly, as shitty as you need this to be, or as many jokes, or whatever works for you my dude. Explain it like you would if it were a story you were telling, not a biographical/argumentative paper. Get informal with it.
Step 6: Write the Damn Thing
Okay to now that you did the research and wrote your fun outlines and all that, all you have to do now is write it! I tend to do this in the same doc as I do my outline, but starting again from the top so I can see what I need to add next right under where I’m typing, then delete it once I’ve covered the material. 
If you did your outline well, this is really just cleaning that up so it’s “school appropriate” and “not an affront to people’s eyes and sensibilities” or whatever. At this point, it should go super quick, maybe 2 hours max to finish up writing what you need to write, here.
Pro Tip: do your citations as you go. Better yet, make your bibliography first so that A its already done and B you know what your in text cites will be from the start so that you don’t have to add them in later. If you kept your hyperlinks next to your research, just open up citationmachine and get those cites, then replace the links in your outline with the actual citations so it’s easier to line them up with in text cites while you go
Step 7: Fudging
oh, you thought we were done after writing the paper? nah fam. Chances are, you didn’t hit the page count you wanted to, you’re probably around 1 full page short, unless you love long sentences. This is where my pro tip from all the way back on step 4 comes in.
First, before you do anything drastic, make sure your formatting is correct. If your prof wants the big long “name, date, class, assignment, etc” in the top left then that adds a lot of length. Fonts will also change your page length, and so will footnotes and citations.
If you did it right and saved all the less relevant details, congratulations! Just sprinkle a few of those in there and you’re magically at your page count. This is the only reason I included the pigeon story in my paper (and this post), because I was about 3/4 of a page short of passably saying I got to 14.
If you didn’t save those inane details, don’t go looking for them now. Trust me, it’s much more pain than it’s worth. Your best bet, then, would be to either A. Add one more point if you can think one up, B. do some more research for relevant details to add in, or C. expand on the details you already have with more examples or effects or whatever applies.
do not, i repeat do NOT, just try and expand the words you use, like changing “to” into “in order to” or whatever those deflate your phrases charts tell you Not to do. They tell you not to for a reason. 1. it sounds stupid adding them in after the fact, and 2. your professor absolutely 100% will know and will mark you down if you do that in excess. Inflated phrase charts like that are well known by professors, and also adding them in after the fact won’t fit in at all with the voice that the rest of your paper was written in, so it’ll stand out like a sore thumb. just don’t do it unless it’s your last possible “i have ten minutes to turn this in” effort.
Step 8: Celebrate!!
And that’s it! If you did it right, this whole process should have taken you around the equivalent of 1 hour per page you had to write or so, so in a regular twelve hour day you’ve got time to take breaks and eat and all that shit. Go turn it in and celebrate your victory!
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calltoaction170 · 4 years
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langwrites · 5 years
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Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses
So a while ago I said I was planning on playing the story routes in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer.
The Golden Deer made a liar out of me.
So, here’s an approximation of What Happened During Verdant Wind.
So many spoilers below the cut, you guys. I do a lot of route comparisons.
Okay, I’ve been staring at the “which house do you want” selection screen for an embarrassing amount of time.
This shouldn’t be hard. I had a plan.
But no.
I clicked the Golden Deer, just like that. What the fuck, Claude. I blame you.
Immediately upon talking to this rop of students again, I can feel the difference in the social group from what the Lions were like. The latter were really a bunch of noble kids around their prince, and they felt really tight-knit. Classic Fire Emblem starter crew.
The Golden Deer is the fucking Scooby Gang.
First impressions of individuals:
Raphael, thank goodness, is the one character who absolutely has his shit in order. Sure, he’s bad at book work and thinks everything comes down to MUSCLES, but all of his emotional issues are handled by the time he arrives at Garreg Mach. He’s the brightest of sunshines.
Ignatz needs some more confidence in his art, and also I want to see his painting of Seiros. Now, if only both of his offensive stats and growths weren’t incredibly bad.
I was so close to making him my dancer. Just because he sure as hell wasn’t gonna be useful anywhere else.
Lorenz! I don’t like him. His haircut is a monstrosity.
Leonie! We are going. To be. Besties. Even though the timing of your support conversations are incredibly bad.
Marianne no please don’t be sad everyone loves you
Hilda is the greatest enabler I have ever seen. By which I mean she enables other people to do all her work for her.
Lysithea is going to have the last word with God. And especially he Death Knight.
And finally Claude! Teamwork makes the dream work, so obviously meme work does the same.
I’m sorry.
PRE-TIMESKIP
Mock battle! Marianne’s great and I love her and also the only healer oh god.
OKAY. I have access to New Game+ bonuses. What do I do first?
Immediately crank the Professor Level stat to max to avoid ever having to run short of activity points again.
Next, raise all skills I can’t easily get to at least Rank D+. HEAVY ARMOR IN PARTICULAR.
Third: Boost supports with people whose support ranks are an absolute pain in the ass to earn. Lookin’ at you, Rhea.
Also, put glasses on Byleth (named “Yuri” for this playthrough). Glasses are the bomb. I am the evil genius.
LEVEL GRINDING TIME.
It’s a lot harder with Blacksmith access being story-locked, but I can do this!
As a direct result, every single battle after this point is a complete curbstomp in my favor. Because the grind don’t stop.
I broke a lot more weapons than last time, though.
I will befriend Leonie and Ferdinand if it’s the last fucking thing I do. I will befriend everyone, and I will not get timeskip-locked out of supports! >:(
Ferdinand was my first recruit. Oh dear.
Okay, there are like five born cavaliers in this game. Leonie, Ferdinand, Lorenz, Sylvain, and I guess Dimitri if you’re on the right route.
Last time, Sylvain was a great paladin and a decent Dark Knight before he started getting one- or two-stat level ups for like thirty levels. Similarly, Dimitri was great until all his ultra-secret-awesome promotions didn’t use a fucking horse.
Contrast Leonie who, despite sitting out 99% of the game out of spite from me getting locked out of her support chain, went to endgame with a ten-level deficit and still rocked.
Ferdinand didn’t count since I failed to recruit him last time and he died. These two facts are directly related.
I didn’t use Lorenz at all; I recruited him to keep from having to kill him later.
This time, Lorenz straight-up sucks, Sylvain did the terrible level dance for like the entire game, and Dimitri’s not recruitable.
Contrast, again, Leonie. Her support chain with the player character is hot garbage, but she plowed through most of the game as a mainstay of my team and made it to Bow Knight first out of anyone.
Bernadetta and Ashe as Bow Knights don’t even come close to being as durable as she is, except for Ashe’s absolutely bananas Resistance. 29?! WHY?!
And Ferdinand is also awesome. His only real weak point is Resistance, but he doesn’t need it. He dodge-tanks everything, is faster than Leonie, and has two Saints’ relics he unknowingly stole from Seteth.
He still talks in MLA format, though.
I started putting off recruiting people so I wouldn’t have to level-grind them up to par with the rest of my team.
But if these people wanna join, of course I’m saying yes.
Lord Lonato’s rebellion and Miklan yoinking the Lance of Ruin feel way less relevant on a Golden Deer playthrough than on a Blue Lions one. None of the Herd really know who the hell these people are.
I say that despite having already recruited Sylvain for this playthrough and deploying him in the relevant level. He wasn’t treated as there by the game’s preamble cutscenes.
At least the Holy Mausoleum stuff feels more...handled? Claude actually asks questions about rebellion and about the “assassination plot,” where Dimitri didn’t really.
OKAY SO there’s this whole plot thing where Flayn goes missing for a month. With the Blue Lions, this is handled like a manhunt. Dimitri’s seriousness about the issue rubs off on everyone except Sylvain, and Felix actually correctly identifies the culprit almost instantly. He doesn’t know he’s done it, though, because basically everyone is just throwing out accusations. Manuela is the real MVP.
CONTRAST THE DEER. The very first meeting reads like a Scooby Doo episode, when they’re piling up clues and throwing out suggestions like the gang of goofball teenagers they are. Claude’s got this group running like Persona 4′s Investigation Team. None of them are jaded or frantic, they’re just doing this.
Why did Rhea entrust the investigation to a herd of teenagers.
Anyway, the rest proceeds as usual.
I don’t know why the game tries to drop the same set of hints for each route. “OoooowoooooOOOOoooo, your house leader might be the FLAME EMPEROR.”
The Flame Emperor wears heels. And is still too short to be either Claude or Dimitri. Especially Dimitri. Who the fuck let this kid get so tall.
The only real result of all this bullshit is that my wyvern-riding sniper of doom is not available during the first map where Yuri personally beat the Death Knight into the ground.
Which, by the by, was hilariously cathartic.
It doesn’t exactly matter, since the only unit who can make real use of the Dark Mage and Dark Bishop classes is unrecruitable, but bragging rights.
Remire Village’s drama is about as bad while playing as the Golden Deer. One of the foreshadowing cutscenes, though is excellent:
Claude actually finds a book that depicts The Immaculate One before its debut, only to have it confiscated by Seteth and learn that it wasn’t a library book at all; it belonged to “Tomas.” Like, all of his suspicions--which he shares with the player--start lining up. Censorship! Monsters! Sword of the Creator! What the hell is going on here??
Dimitri’s version of the cutscene involves him being caught investigating Lord Arundel by the player and Sothis. Which--since his route doesn’t meaningfully deal with the Morlocks faction aside from steamrolling them as incidental opponents--seems kinda useless.
Kicked the Death Knight into submission again out of spite.
Sylvain was useful! Mostly because I had him sit there and distract the incidentals while Claude and Lysithea cleaned house, but still!
Claude is the only lord character who seems to understand that the transforming Morlock faction probably needs to be taken more seriously. For the remainder of Part One, no one does so.
Rhea you’ve got some ‘splainin to do.
Marianne’s my team’s dancer this time. She’s a sweetheart. She seemed happy to be asked and to pursue the lessons, and being able to use Physic is a good trait in someone who’s nearly always going to be waaaaay behind the rest of the group.
Dad-stabbing happened.
Again.
Boop boop Solon’s dead.
Again.
Dear diary: I learned the definition of irony and set the Flame Emperor on fire.
I kid.
But Claude took her out in one completely overpowered shot, because crits are a thing, Flame Emperor class skills don’t reduce damage enough to survive it, and his Dex stat is through the fucking roof. And he was on a wyvern at the time because fuck it, why not.
Claude’s reaction to all of this is a minor letdown compared to the fully-rendered cutscene in the last route.
This would become something of a trend--taking out OP bosses with unexpected critical hits.
I didn’t expect to like Lorenz and now I do. How.
This is hilarious simply because he seems to be the only character that Mercedes hates. What the fuck, man.
Once again, Edelgard invades! Once again, I drop someone unexpected on her head!
Not really. It was Yuri.
Yuri does the timeskip shuffle and we’ll see everyone again after a nap.
FIVE YEARS LATER.
Aw, Claude was waiting for Yuri to show up. Adorable.
The post-meetup fight is actually harder than it was in the BL route, despite excessive level-grinding. This is due to three factors:
Claude is automatically on a wyvern, meaning that he has inherent class vulnerability to archers on a map with at least five of them. And less range than they did, for some fucking reason.
Lorenz and Ignatz started out on the same corner of the map and both of them are shitty offensive units who could barely kill a mage between them. (Neither of Ignatz’s offensive stats cracked 20 for another thirteen levels.)
I don’t have Ashe and his personal skill Locktouch, and nobody started with a Chest Key or Door Key, which meant I had to keep various enemies alive long enough to steal all of their stuff. And the enemy item drops came up one short of the number of chests on the map. I want my stuff, dammit.
LET’S MAKE A SCENE.
Randolph, as a boss in Verdant Wind, did not get any better at figuring out when he’s outmatched. Therefore, I killed him with Raphael again.
At least he straight-up died this time.
Claude didn’t even get to set the damn place on fire.
Ingrid is turning out to be way better of a unit this time than she was last time. She’s a little slower, but a lot stronger.
FELIX, WHERE THE FUCK WAS ALL THIS STRENGTH HIDING LAST TIME. YOU’RE TEN POINTS AHEAD OF THE GUY WHO HAS STORY-BASED SUPER STRENGTH.
AND SPEED.
Iiiiiiiiit’s JUDITH!
She only shows up on one map in the entire Azure Moon route, and that’s a damn shame. She’s so cool in Verdant Wind.
A lord-class character who isn’t also a Lord! WOO!
Also her spies are better than anybody’s apparently.
I am choosing to believe that because Ingrid’s family is related to Judith’s, her badassery in this route is the direct result of meeting her distant cousin and absorbing badass radiation.
There’s something funny about having to pull one over on Lorenz’s dad to get anything done. The Great Bridge falls not to power, but Claude baiting Count Gloucester’s entire army to be somewhere else. (FEAR THE DEER.)
As a result, Ladislava dies alone. (As opposed to taking Ferdinand with her due to plot shenanigans.)
Lysithea and Ferdinand’s paralogue was really quite sad, for all that the only named guy who died was deeply unsympathetic. Ferdinand’s dad was an asshole, but he wasn’t the asshole for this particular scenario, and now both of his parents are gone. :(
Felix...hasn’t heard from his dad in a while. Worrying.
Oh, and Caspar’s uncle is still dead, in case we were keeping track of that.
Dorothea’s happier with Ferdinand alive. She did an impression of the Gatekeeper. :3
Gronder Field! FUCK.
I delayed playing this chapter for two solid days because I already knew what was gonna happen. Specifically: Edelgard gets injured and evacuated, and Dimitri drops of exhaustion just in time to get run through like ten times by the Emperor’s rearguard.
I eventually got my shit together enough to do the thing.
Marianne, Raphael, and Ferdinand went after the Kingdom army first. Leonie and Felix hung back and then reinforced them after taking out the archer on the central hill.
Claude killed everyone in the center of the map, which meant Edelgard set the entire hill on fire and if Bernadetta had not been recruited she would’ve burned to death there on the spot.
Ahem.
I sent Yuri to clear the entire left side of the map by herself.
She succeeded.
Raphael KO’d Dimitri with a luck Gauntlet crit, got blasted down to half health by a Warlock, then plunked ineffectually at Dedue until Marianne used her Levin Sword to sort him out.
Ferdinand killed everyone else on that side of the map.
Claude once again got the kill on Edelgard with a lucky crit, after Yuri had killed everyone else (up to and including the Demonic Beasts) single-handedly.
And then the plot moved on. Hilda’s account of Dimitri’s death was awful, Dedue’s reaction was worse, and off we go to punch Edelgard’s teeth in.
Again.
Annette’s dad is probably dead now.
Felix’s, too.
(I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE DAD-STABBING.)
FOOOOOORT MERCEUS.
No matter how many times I think about it, Claude’s Almyran army reinforcements only make so much sense. How the hell and fuck did he manage to sneak an entire foreign army across a whole country to help with one battle?
But hey, they’re here, and Claude almost admitted the reason why he could do that. And the arrow greeting between him and Nader was cool.
(Spoiler: On top of being the Alliance’s leader, he’s also the crown prince of Almyra!)
The Death Knight had the gall to run from my army.
Yuri punched his ticket for the third time, which was not the charm.
And then Fort Merceus took an intercontinental ballistic missile and suddenly defeating the fort’s garrison feels a lot less triumphant.
Spot the miscolored eyes in this cutscene!
Welp. Fuck it, we’re off to Enbarr. Time to also punch Hubert this time! What a change of pace.
Eyyy, it’s the Enbarr map. I totally forgot to bring Seteth and Flayn along to check out the opera house, despite a whole bunch of characters talking about how they totally wanted to check that place out at some point. No room for deadweights in a map that has SO MANY ARCHERS.
Managed to get the special dialogue between Ferdinand and Hubert, and now I’m sad again.
Killed Hubert with Claude.
And because this is a two-part map, we immediately run off to chase down Edelgard. Due to the player army not doing a really weird 180 in the middle of the plot to kick Cornelia out of Fhirdiad, she didn’t have time to turn into a giant demonic thing! She just has WAY TOO MANY MAGES.
Strategy: Forget what Door Keys are, split the team by Avoid rating, and go to town.
Claude nearly died thanks to a critical mass of Gremories and Mortal Savants (and still, what the fuck is that name), but Dedue-as-guest-character didn’t, so I count that as a win! His defense was so high that the Giant Demonic Beast couldn’t even scratch him.
Claude, Petra, and Ingrid all having Alert Stance as a skill means dodge-tanking is hilariously easy.
Also, Ingrid was supposed to just take a chunk out of Edelgard’s HP bar for the final assault and ended up crit-killing her on the first attack. With a bog-standard silver lance.
Weird as the situation turned out, I guess that means one of Dimitri’s friends really did avenge him after saying they would. Even if Dedue was the only one who had a special cutscene about it.
We rescued Rhea! And the characters being happy about it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I want answers, same as Claude, and being forced to RP Yuri being oh so worried about Rhea’s safety felt incredibly disingenuous.
Claude actually yells at her over the “...” she seems to think is an explanation. THE TIME FOR SECRETS IS PAST.
WHY DID ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN.
WE’VE BEEN AT WAR FOR FIVE YEARS.
A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE DIED HORRIBLY FOR BASICALLY NOTHING.
Incidentally, this is why I didn’t end up playing Edelgard’s route as planned. Her logic for kicking two other sovereign countries in the balls felt incredibly self-centered.
At least Catherine’s happy. Same with Alois and the rest of the Church crew.
They are soon going to be not as happy.
I’m filling out the ENTIRE support log before endgame. I have absolutely no idea what characters are going to end up together as a direct result.
The last conversation? Seteth and Manuela’s A+ support!
Because so many of the support conversations are romantic at A/A+ level, I guess we’ve managed to turn this ragtag army into a polyarmory.
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Oh boy, Thales sure is a sore loser.
I say, as though I didn’t kill EVERYONE he knew over the course of an hour and also split his skull open under Seteth’s axe. His racism would have keeled his ass over before death set in.
That sure is a ICBM.
GOD DAMMIT RHEA, THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A Q&A SESSION AFTER THIS.
WHY DOES EVERYONE WHOSE JOB IS EXPOSITION UP AND DIE.
Meanwhile: THE UBER-DEAD PEOPLE.
Claude, your route is batshit. What is this genre anymore?!
I wanna point out that, despite seeing Rhea/Seiros do the dragon thing, the player character never told Claude what the fuck that was about. I feel like one of the first things I would have done after the class reunion would be going, “By the by, did anyone else notice the fucking dragon?!”  WHO IS ALSO THE POPE???
Bah.
ANYWAY. Looooong-overdue exposition time!
I notice that Rhea didn’t out Seteth or Flayn, which was nice of her.
Claude, she can turn into a fucking dragon. I don’t think immortality is that far from being plausible.
GOD DAMMIT NEMESIS, CAN YOU FUCK OFF FOR TEN MORE MINUTES.
Uuuuuuugh fine, fuck everything, I’m putting your head on a pike.
CLAUDE, THE SWORD OF THE CREATOR LOOKS LIKE A SPINE.
OF COURSE IT’S MADE OF BONES. A BUNCH OF THE HEROES’ RELICS MOVE ON THEIR OWN!
The frantic music is not helping.
Time to kill a bandit king.
“My flabber is completely gasted by now.” Okay, that made me laugh.
Nemesis’s boss mechanic is pretty neat. To kill him at all, you need to kill all of the minibosses in the level and take down his friendship-based-plot-armor.
Or it would be, if I didn’t already make a habit of steamrolling everyone else on the field before tackling the boss at the end.
CUTSCENE.
Cutscene lesson: “Fuck honor duels.” It’s time for CHAIN SWORD LIMBO.
Claude, your bow shoots LASERS. SINCE WHEN.
Also getting kicked across the field by a dude twice his size didn’t seem to actually affect his mood much.
Awww, Yuri smiles now. Adorable. :D
AND THAT’S A WRAP.
Pairings: Yuri/Sothis (mostly to get them out of the way and see what everyone else would do), Claude/Petra, Raphael/Marianne, Catherine/Shamir, Lorenz/Mercedes, Ashe/Annette, Felix/Sylvain (bad end; the former straight up disappears), Seteth & Flayn wander off, Manuela/Dorothea, Lysithea/Linhardt (again), Leonie/Ignatz, Ferdinand/Bernadetta, Caspar/Hilda, and a couple of people are alone. Cyril gets to actually be a student after the story’s done, though!
Whew, that was fun. Gonna mix up the pairs a bit next time I play through the endgame and see what happens.
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I’m scared that my guy friend likes me but I’m a lesbian and I’m also not out yet, out do I do if he tells me cuz my friend said he has something to tell me and I think that’s it
you dont have to tell him you are a lesbian, but you should be honest that you dont have any feelings for him. men almost always have a hard time hearing “not interested” without a 37 page dissertation (sources cited, MLA format) of every single reason why you do not want to date them in addition to a formal debate about what they can do to change that, so i would say be ready with something as far as a reason to turn him down
my go to suggestions are usually: not interested in dating right now, don’t have time, forcused on school/work/insert-something-convincing-here etc. dont be mean to him obviously, but you arent obligated to tell him you are a lesbian.
there is always the chance he could react well and respect your decision, but we all know how GREAT men are at respecting women’s autonomy (they have never done it ever) so i would be prepared if i were you.
good luck dear
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customwriter · 2 years
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