#my family does not clean at all

[bamsara]

also i think its hilarious that chat helped me figure out that it was black mold growing in my bedroom AC window unit but im unable to turn off the AC because this house is old and has no central air/heating so its constantly on otherwise the house is a dangerous oven in the hot months. heat vs mold what will get me first

#/j #sara shush #sorry for all the text posts today im trying to clean but i am so tired #also i am unable to remove the filter and take apart the ac i dont have the tools #i asked my family member to help me and he keeps saying he'll get around to it and never does #for like a year lol

[jabberwockprince]

A arcanist’s work. Exhibited in the 1990s for 24 years. Completed in Summer, on September 13. The exhibition was first held in Manila, Philippines, and after 10 years the exhibit later traveled to Spain, before going all over the world.

◆ Medium: Hunger ◆ Afflatus: Banquet of Concrete [Mineral] Everlasting True Love ◆ Fragrance note: Fruity - Raspberry, Apple, Coconut. Meat, copper. ◆ Size: 175cm / 5’7’’

new six stars character yall <3 here's Venison's insight II illustration and their role garment menu (i built that template from SCRATCH bro, i'll drop the psd later) they're my lil mercenary, local cannibal guy, former manus member <3

here's their fullbody sprite under the cut, i got too lazy to actually render it lmfao

#reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 #re1999 #re1999 oc #reverse 1999 oc #digital art #purinsu art #venison beloved venison #i dont have their doc ready yet so teehee i suck at filling my own templates #yes theyre yandere or whatever. theyre extremely obsessive in general #does familial yandere exist? instead of like. ooo you gotta be my bf its ooo you gotta be my family #anyway. manus adopts a stray that vertin overlooked. it goes badly for everyone #thats their target wall in their insight II illust btw <3 mf is forming parasocial relationships with every person theyre sent to kill #love justifies the cannibalism and all #their arcanum is also bone and cartilage related! <3 #which fits soooooo good with the manus and arcana's aesthetics #they just have. to get to the bone. clear access to it. to properly use their arcanum. which means they get to EAT/RIP THE FLESH CLEAN FIRS #do you see my vision do you see where im going with this. the game deserves truly deranged guys #i saw the fucking manus garment for diggers. guys. we need to talk bout it

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion? #kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you' #AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you' #even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that' #and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it) #(nothing even ever started you bitchass) #also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal.. #but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

[cha1cedony]

Btw I haven’t stopped thinking about Link’s most recent teen fact. I know it was funny silly! Lincoln sneaks in to clean his dads’ bedroom! But also. it made me SO sad 😭💔 I’m almost always sad when we learn more about the Grant and Marco’s relationship bc wow yeah the Wilsons never change :( For all of Grant’s efforts to communicate better with his son, to do a better job at that than Darryl and Carol did, he doesn’t communicate with his husband! He outright lies to his family! And now we know that Marco also doesn’t really communicate that well lol

#I know this does for EVERY family in dndads #that’s like. how generational cycles work #but I am just very extra sad about Grant specifically okay #he’s my special boy 😔 lmaooo #ps: do NOT get me started on Lincoln cleaning his parents’ bedroom.. needing to have a way to say goodnight again just in case…. #him being obsessed with vaccines and nootropics lol #he is so much MORE ocd than Grant. and in all the same ways as Darryl. it makes me emotional #ahem anyway #this post appeals to me exclusively but whatever #chalcy stuff #dndads #dungeons and daddies #I don’t think this needs to be tagged as spoilers? #it’s been like three weeks so shrug

[opens-up-4-nobody]

As a stranger on the internet (so feel free to ignore or tell me I'm out of line) you might just be going through a grieving process. It sucks, a lot, and I don't really have any advice other than it will slowly get better, but it might help simply knowing.

Grief is different for everyone, and looks different for everyone too. But either way I hope you feel better soon <3

It's very possible, I just don't want that to be the answer because then I don't know what to do

#it feels more like im using grief as an excuse to not do anything and i find it really upsetting #i just dont kno what to do. i have a lightning talk to give tomorrow and i cant get anywhere bc when i try to get anything done i just start #crying and everything feels like a mess that i have no motivation to clean up #just everything. why did i decide to do this with my life? why couldnt i have chosen a functional career path? #i dont kno what im doing. i dont kno how im going yo get things together for my committee meeting Friday #or how ill get thru it without crying. i dont even kno what i want. i wanna talk to my dad i guess but ive never told anyone in my family #when im having a hard time and i dont kno how to do that without making him worry #ugh. tomorrow's gonna suck. so does today. i just want the semester to be over. but then i cant escape my project. so idk what i want #i want sleep for 1000 years or at least until all my problems are gone #unrelated

[love-laugh-daydreamarevolt]

Can boundaries among family members be more common. Like in glad we're talking about setting up boundaries with friends and in relationships but like we need to stop with the "I am entitled to touch you/ get into your space just because I birthed you/ raised you" thing. If I say I don't want a hug, you respect that. tou do not force me into one. If I say I'm not mentally available for a conversation, we decide on a later time to have it, you do not talk over me. If you said something to hurt me and I asked you to either talk to me later if you can't channel your emotions right or ask you to take a different tone, you respect my emotions and reflect. tou do not yell at me and tell me you can do It because you are my parent. If I say I don't want to hug a relative you don't push me to do so. If I don't want to talk to someone, you don't force me to interact with them.

#sincerely an autistic teen who is just tired of this shit #and it honestly doesn't matter neurotypical or neurodivergent #people are all for boundaries and personal space until its familial #if i say i need alone time to process that includes EVERYBODY #no being my mom or dad does not give you a pass #don't touch me means don't touch me #I will bite your arm clean of don't test me #showing me you love me means respecting my wishes NOT forcing affection on me #boundaries #parenting #sensory issues #personal space #relationships #family

[softshuji]

eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh

#i just find it like so unfair yknow #im the only one who works in myhouse and full time #but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put #my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but #i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger #its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad #and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility #and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough #and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother #said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9 #and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time #constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers #and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either #its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they #cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything. #like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl #thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on #im just tired and upset #its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else. #and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing #im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf #oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this #and yk what #thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is #i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return #or if not #theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them #i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me #its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

[aroacehanzawa]

WHAT R UR THOUGHTS ON BUDDY DADDIES EPISODE 8 🙏

I THINK IT WAS OUTSTANDING

First off, from the very first scene with Miri asking Rei where he's going and then saying but his home is here, and he says "THAT'S TRUE". AS TRUE AS HOW MUCH I CRIED UPON HEARING THAT

I think this episode was a great continuation from last episode's Kazuki-focused perspective, where Kazuki accepted to move on and essentially to live in the present from now on, the present that includes Miri and Rei. And now we got to follow Rei trying to find his place and accepting that his heart belongs with the little Kazuki & Miri family that he has little by little become more a part of than he realises.

I think the episode did a great job portraying how conflicted Rei is as he stands in-between having to continue his family business and having found a new home, which he might not necessarily feel like he belongs to (yet), but which he wants to belong to. And it's the way he did not outright say this, but what he does say is that there is something he also wants to protect, in direct parallel to his former mentor who was fighting to protect his significant other!!!

I also love how Rei's journey in this episode didn't end on some super optimistic final note (which last episode kind of did with Kazuki, the sun breaking out when he comes to his realisation and the colourful flowers and everything) but rather showing how Rei has simply taken the first small steps towards the future he wants, and sometimes that's enough.

Like, he's brooding and contemplating his identity and place in the world when Kazuki calls and he just lets it ring, but he picks it up in the end. Kazuki comes and he doesn't want to get in the car, but he does. We get to see their first meetings and how Kazuki took care of him, and even back then it was just a small step Rei took - he let Kazuki help. Rei asks if they can really change, and Kazuki doesn't know - but he took the step to ask, and Kazuki answered honestly. And that's already a change, this decision of theirs to step by step try to do the right thing so that they can live their lives the way they want, together with Miri. And in this episode it culminated in Rei smiling at sleepy Miri and the birthday table prepared by Kazuki, and that's enough for now.

Idk idk just think this series does such a wonderful job in showing the character's personal journeys and the difficulties of not just their jobs and lifestyles but also, very obviously, of two men raising a child together, and it does this in such a magnificent way with the perfect balance between optimistic and realistic. This episode was just another part of the wonderful whole, and it stands out so well on its own while still being such an important turning point in our main characters' story as a whole!

Also that ending scene?????? i won't survive the angst of the next episodes

#SORRY I STARTED RAMBLING there's not a single coherent sentence in there i'm afraid #you asked for my thoughts so those are my pure unfiltered thoughts #ANYWAY IF YOU AREN'T WATCHING BUDDY DADDIES. IT IS NOT TOO LATE #another thing - the photo of kazuki and miri in the supermarket was such a straight forward parallel to the photo of rei's former mentor #and his fiancee? wife? i forget #i've seen some criticism about how the show has very clearly put kazuki in the 'mother/housewife' role but #here i have to echo what some others had said - that there is still nothing heteronormative about the story of two single men raising a #child together. like you can say all you want about how kazuki does the cooking and the cleaning #but the very fact that they are NOT actually a man and woman living together already separates them from the context of a power imbalance #that would exist between a similar but heterosexual relation specifically because of patriarchy #like the unfair division of labour between husband and wife is one that is specifically rooted in sexism throughout history #whereas in this case it merely PARALLELS the typical parental roles without actually having this inherent power imbalance #i'm not well read enough on feminist theory to say anything more on the subject but you get what i mean? #and i think last episode already did a great job showing that kazuki DOES find it unfair that rei doesn't contribute enough at home #i think that was good commentary that applies to any household and family in general and not just the heterosexual nuclear family #i just don't think it's right to say that this series is being heteronormative #that's all folks #buddy daddies

[girlscience]

back at the eye doctors 😭😭 I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE

#I have feel like I have so many things I need to get done like Right Now #and this is just a pain in the ass #I thought it would be so straightforward to get glasses and be able to see #the glasses I had weren't even that bad. if I knew it was gonna be like this I wouldn't have got new glasses #I need a vet appointment for my cat. I need to order some books. I need to start cleaning to pack #I need to find a new apartment. I need to let work know when my last day is going to be #I need to figure out all my plans with friends and family over the next two months #I need to study fish and aquatic sampling techniques #I need to refill my BC and I keep waiting for them to say I can't refill because I need a pap smear (barf) #I need to cancel my Y membership. I have cosplays I need to work on and a bunch of books I need to read #and on top of all that I have work stuff #life never stops does it. I had all these ideas about relaxing a little before I started grad school #but I think that was a pipe dream

[lovelyisadora]

it isn’t the end of the semester but i’m already having my end of the semester breakdown oh my GOD I am going to have a heart attack. sprite save me

#nothing is done!! not my applications not my interviews etc #I am running out of time to graduate in June and I could just graduate in august but then I have to admit to my family that I fucked up bad #it takes 3-6 weeks to get IRB approval I need to step on it #it’ll take at least 4 for my paid leave forms for work to go through and I don’t know if it’ll get approved #and if it does when do my benefits start #I feel like an idiot where those forms are concerned because it needs an occupation code and I don’t know if it’s specific #or if I can just select the one that best matches my job description and I can’t find that info anywhere #my body is literally shutting down I have two golf ball sized tumors and I can’t get out of bed but I can’t sleep #my car is kaputt and I have to call several different shops to get it seen because the one I took it to couldn’t fix it #and is any of it worth it!! is any of it!! #I cried for like three hours today bc I tried to talk to my mom about it and. well. she was very much a mom about it and not helpful #like yeah! obviously I want to graduate in June! but my research isn’t even approved because I haven’t been able to get myself #to complete the application for the last six months! Jesus Christ! #I can’t sleep and I’m so tired I’m so so tired my brain just straight up isn’t working! #I swear to god if I finally meet with my advisor and he does his well you don’t seem to need my help bullshit again #I’m gonna actually snap and kill him #anyway. need to do three things by end of Wednesday. just three things #clean. irb. and paid leave. that’s it that’s all. #it’s what I’ve tried to do the last four days and I’ve accomplished none of it but. Jesus Christ it’s gotta get done #FOUR THINGS I have to call the shop to get an estimate for a car I’m not even going to bother to fix #ok vent session over #delete later #fkdjdjshhaa im a MESS #sprite save me 😭 #save me sprite. save me

[hopefulstarfire]

Why is it the thing that I actually feel accomplished about lately is that. I'm almost done with one neighborhood on my sims 4 save I'm making for myself. I've got one more family to finish for Willow Creek and then I can move onto the other worlds.

#kenz musings #this is for like #just a general save #so i can play around #basically; i dont like how they did the lore for returning families and also want to flesh out some of the families that debuted in 4 #mostly like adding relationships and stuff #and taking out sims i dont use like ever and arent attached to #and putting in sims from the last 2 games but in my own timeline #yknow how sims 4 is supposed to be an alternate timeline? yeah they set that up in sims 3 and proceeded to make it make no fucking sense #bc mortimer bella and malcolm were all the same age in 3 #so when you set it up why not follow it #so i fixed that #and ive come up with headcanons #like how nancy and geoffrey and malcolm are related to all the other malcolm landgraabs #and why kaylynn langerak is the same age as mortimer and bella in sims 3 but a lot younger than them in 2 #my answer for this now is; kaylynn is a vampire turned by vlad on her first day of her new cleaning service #convoluted? probably. does it make it intriguing? yes #also im putting it at a little over 20 years give or take from 3 #and have been trying to figure out ages mostly bc of the elders / older adults in 2 and 3 #and 3s confusing fucking multiple worlds that weren't in the same time period #anyways #its my current like. focus. and achievement #maybe ill post screenshots from some of my storylines some day

[dirtytransmasc]

(personal vent about my sack of shit father ruining christmas again)

me, my fathers only "daughter"/child:

helps my grandmother for weeks to prepare for his christmas party that neither of us wanted (he goes way over the top. invites his friends that are all loud drunks. cooks food we don't like. keeps the whole house up partying into the early hours of the morning. makes a mess and refuses to clean up after himself. doesn't spend time with us and instead hangs out with his friends, even for family holidays and events. etc.

me and my grandmother are disabled, constantly in pain/have stomach issues, and generally just want to be left on our own for holidays, so the whole event is just awful for us)

has been up since 6* in the morning, continuing to prepare for his party so he doesn't throw a hissy fit, running on only a few hours of sleep*, running around from store to store, cleaning, cooking, decoaring, etc.

spends hours trying to wake him up.

after doing everything I am capable of skill/strength wise, I took a two hour power nap before guests come.

helps serve dinner, makes drinks, fulfills every task my father gives me to maintain the delicate peace in the household, cause my grandmother wants to murder him*.

does all of this with no complaint.

my father:

promises his full and undivided attention and help the day before the party (this is the only day he's offered the slightest help outside of making a huge dinner no one but he and his friends wanted), he then breaks this promise, does nothing, delegates every task my grandmother has given him to me, and then leaves at 6 at night to go party, ignoring the amount of cooking he needs to finish.

doesn't come home for almost 12 hours (he came home at 6am), waking me up*, sleeps till 1, leaving me and my gradnmother do 90% of the things that needed to be done today (as his guests are coming at 4).

invites more friends than he originally told us about, ditching us after dinner (which we served) to go hang out outside and blast music so loud it shakes the house.

and then complains that I "slept all day" and "did nothing" so now I need to clean the whole kitchen and all the dishes of over 15 guests, not him, the reason there's such a mess to clean.

he continues to demand this even after something he cooks, knowing I hate it and it makes me feel ill, and stinks up the whole kitchen, making me go lie down because it made me nauseous and gave me a migraine.

I then get to spend the rest of my christmas eve cleaning, doing dishes, while barely holding back tears.

thanks dad, for ruining an already awful christmas, you fucking asshole.

#he does this shit all the time #one year he forget his mothers birthday. almost forgot mothers day. and threw a party “for her” that was just excuse to trash her house wit #his friends and we were both miserable. he made us clean and serve people and made food we don't like #I'm still fucking pissed about it #he also ruined my last christmas with my grandfather before he passed. so. I have a grudge to say the fucking least. #me and my grandmother are his personal servants and we can't do anything about it if we want to know peace #cause he's a fucking piece of shit #he does this with everything. he used to make my grandmother clean up after him. now he makes me do it #please. whatever god is out there. give me the financial stability to move out and live on my own. I can't keep doing this shit #actually. god. make him move out. let me and my grandmother stay in our family home. just get him to fuck off. #he's the biggest hypocrite. do-nothing. asshole and I hate him #personal vent #fuck my dad #biggest mistake my father made in terms of raising me was not leaving. instead he just ruined every aspect of my life and made me miserable #can't even escape him as an adult

[lilgynt]

moms WILL make sure you cry once a day at least

#personal #i’ve been cleaning my room all day and #that doesn’t effect anything but mid crying i’m just muttering i didn’t do anything bc at this point it’s a comfort mantra for when my #family fucks around with me randomly. #anyway so my mom calls and said she was talking with a friend and i got brought and so did my issues #and she got me these expensive vitamins and im steadily getting sadder/ more annoyed during the call and crying silently #and i saw yes to taking them and she keeps going and i’m like mom i said yes #and she’s like it’s just a conversation and i tell her i’m just upset bc the move for my mental health is #ignoring any issue i bring up then buying me expensive gifts so i can’t talk about said issue #and i was like i want to be clear. this is extremely nice gesture. thank you. thank you very much #and she’s like i can never do anything nice for you #so i’m like maybe we can hold off on nice gifts or treats and focus on communicating or get pass these door issue #and she just went silent like she always does so i just said never mind thank you and we hung up #and now i’m crying in bed feeling utterly alone cause it’s not like i can reach out to either of my brothers #and i feel resentment for ben grow everyday just bc he gets to live his life after doing that to me #and i have to live with the consequences of his actions everyday #and everyone keeps saying their not blaming me for it and then treating me like shit #i m just gonna stop talking to my mom as much for a while i’m not talking to either of my brothers if i can help it but #i just let her slide even tho she’s literally begging me to get back harder with my ed

[the-furies]

everything is fuck everybody suck [<= can't sleep. The wires.]

#pk;m Electrochemistry🔴 #UHHHHH ON THE OTHER HAND THIUGH IT DOES FEEL LIKE A WEIGHT'S BEEN LIFTED OFF OUR SHOULDERS THAT'S COOL!!! #hitting our brajn with a stick. we r cringe but we r free etc. etc. repeat ad nauseam #it is funny how the paranoia just Stopped. in a few hours. outta sight outta mind!! I guess!!! #ANYWAYS THE NERVE PAIN UH OH! well. well‚ #ImSure eveyrtuing will be Fines tjis month about it :) <= will probably draw every day this month Litcherally #DW WE R DOING THE STRETCHING & ALL AND TAKING BREAKS N SHIT AUGH auth just overdid it a bit fhsjakxjcjc #goig 2 take Some pain meds abt it though it's not Bad bad anymore but still Noticably There . #OH FUCK WE HAVE DRAWTOBER TOMORROW /TECHNICALLY TODAY!!! FUCK DAMN #wlel. we have ideas 4 how to go abt finishing the sketches I thuink logic just wants 2 clean his sketch ip #& do some paintingy shit 2 it #WHicj is Not Difficult. easier than fuckin *cell shading* GOD #'Ol cell shade mine :3' guys how abotu I Die instead. #4 my drawtober day when we get 2 sketching it Draw me in the family guy death pose [JOKEwait that'd be so funny #hodl on...... hhHDJDJFJCKXK #sorry im deranged on main Im losing the fucking plot for realsies. oops. um. you see <= fuit gumnie aftermath

[arthur-r]

tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.

#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month #in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom #if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time) #especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all #anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years???? #i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too…. #and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight #within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person #so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave #i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place #like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost #and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden???? #i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with #i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course #that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and #i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me #and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change #i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal #and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it #my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything #and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again #and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in #(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot) #anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college.. #now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here #and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you #think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave…. #i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved #because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags…. #i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night