#my point being: there are more gay wizards than you think which is why i support lgbt hp headcanons a lot lol

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

And another average day at Family Video:

"No you literally can't"

"Of course you can, dingus! Some are just classics!"

"Well, and some go to Family Video to browse and randomly choose movies they know nothing about!"

"But doesn't that further prove my point?! Why would someone choose a movie solely by the cover if the cover is just a hot person?!"

"Well you said that Rocky Horror is also a queer classic and me and Tommy chose that one at random back when we were both assholes. If you'd flirted with Carol then you probably would have been hate-crimed."

"That is not a word"

"Well good thing I don't work in a fucking library then"

They glare at each other. If this was another genre, this story would end in a fight to the death. As things are, they are just two best friends getting unnecessarily heated while fighting about nothing. To be fair, it's more entertaining than watching the same two questionable movies over and over again.

Robin crosses her arms. "Okay. So just, let me repeat. To make sure I understood. You - who have admitted that you would sleep with Jonathan and Eddie if the chance arose and made out with Tommy multiple times - watched Rocky Horror Picture Show with Tommy, who may I remind you - you made out with multiple times, which once again, fucking ew-"

"Hey! He was the one who suggested it first!"

"And then you have the audacity to say that Rocky Horror Picture Show isn't gay?!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M FUCKING SAYING. If one were to see the cover with no context and decided to rent it just to see what it is about-"

"You mean the cover of Tim Curry in drag?!"

"Yeah well, Tommy was the one who chose the movie, and he is straight. So."

"Didn't you just say that Tommy was the one who wanted to kiss you first?!?"

Steve rolls his eyes so hard it's a wonder they stay safely inside their socket. "Yeah, but that's just the normal amount of same-sex attraction every straight dude has. That was just boys being boys. If that made someone gay, the whole basketball team would be full of queers"

"First of all, I will be coming back to that last bit later-"

"You? Coming for the all-male basketball team? Never thought I'd see the day"

He can admit that he probably deserves the kick against his shin.

"Focus, dingus! Let me just repeat what you just said. And I want you to think about it carefully, okay?! So in your words, a boy kissing another boy is not gay, unless one of the boys acknowledges that that is gay?"

"Uhm, duh?"

"So you and Tommy kissing was... straight?"

"I mean. No. Because I have now realized that I am not straight which retroactively makes the making out sessions gay"

Robin thumps her head against the counter. She takes a deep breath and does it again for good measure.

"I- oh my god. Okay. Just. Think about what you just said, okay? Think about it carefully. Think about it while you rewind that stack of tapes."

"Hey isn't it your turn?"

"Wrong thing to think about! You do that while I clean this...already clean counter. Again."

He gives her the stink eye but does as he is told.

They change topics. Robin tells him about the newest gossip in band. It is surprisingly intense. Just like Robin is also intense. Maybe only intense people go to band. Or maybe playing an instrument makes you intense? Well, he has a band member right here, so he asks, and they spend the next half an hour making fun of various instruments. The gay-jokes-whiteboard gains a lot of new points.

Both are laughing so hard they don't even realize they have a customer until the girl is standing in front of the counter, "The Wizard of Oz" in her hands. Steve raises a brow. Do you think this one is gay too? Robin nods to the snap hook hooked to her trousers holding her keys. Duh. He rolls his eyes. I also do this all the fucking time. It's convenient, okay?! It means nothing. Robin only looks at him with a deadpan look. You are literally further proving my point.

It is then that it clicks. "Oh my god it was gay! What the fuck?!"

Robin's face falls. He hears a gasp from somewhere behind him. Oh yeah. They were not alone in the shop right now. Fuck.

Steve thinks he vaguely recognizes her. He never talked to her, but it is hard to miss her bright red hair. Her name was....Vinnie? Or something? Right??

She looks down to her snap hook. It seems like she is going to run out of the shop at any moment. But then she takes a deep breath and looks up again, determination in her eyes. "Are you...are you also a friend of Dorothy?"

Robin's eyes shine. Steve goes to the back to have his mental breakdown in peace.

Steve isn't sure how much time passes before he dares to come out again. Vanessa (?) is gone and Robin looks incredibly smug.

He sighs. A true man knows when to admit defeat. "Okay. Maybe you had a point. With Tommy."

Her smile widens even more. "Only Tommy?"

"And the basketball team. And Valerie."

She frowns. "Who the fuck is Valerie."

"The girl who just left? Red hair? Also in band I think? Friend of Dorothy or whatever?"

"Her name is Vicky."

"Hey, I got the first letter right. If you expect much more from me you are seriously deluding yourself."

Robin rolls her eyes. They continue working in silence, but there is a tension in the air that hasn't been there since Robin first came out to him. Steve is not a very patient dude, but he can wait as long as it takes when it regards someone he cares about. And so he does.

"...Hey Steve?"

"Yes Robin?"

"I- I know we talk about it relatively openly here because it's always deserted when we have a shift together for some reason. But for the love of god, you need to be more careful. Okay?! The thing with Vicky was a lucky shot-"

"You mean your future girlfriend?~"

She pinches his lower back. Everybody looks at them weird when they do that, but it is very effective. The skin is still tender where they got their matching tramp stamps and it hurts like a bitch.

"I'm serious."

He looks at her. Sees the fear in her eyes. And he nods. I know. I promise. I'm sorry. He doesn't have to say it out loud for Robin to understand him. She knows that he means it, that he will probably be overly careful for a few weeks before they find a comfortable middle ground again. That he would never betray her trust. That is the reason they are soulmates, after all.

He isn't angry when she still asks him for reassurance anyway. "I promise", he says, more serious than he has been all day. They are both getting better at that, asking for verbal affirmation.

Another customer comes in. It's a cute girl. She rents the new Tom Cruise movie and Robin finally gets to take out the you-suck-board again.

"Okay, but did you really never realize that making out with other boys is kind of fruity?! Did I literally have to spell it out for you?"

"Hey! You yourself said that it's hard to 'break out of a heteronormative mindset' and shit. Plus, this is actually my second shift. And I used my break to drive you from school to work. So like, cut me some slack"

"Steve! I told you to stop taking double shifts all the time! No wonder you look so exhausted dingus"

"Well, Buckley, I would. But as I am sure you are fully aware Dustin's birthday is in two weeks and I need money to buy him that stupid nerd-thingie he's obsessing about-"

(more average days)

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #stobin #stobin friendship #stobin soulmates #platonic stobin #stranger things drabble #stobin drabble #vicky stranger things #tommy hagan #an average day in family video

[jo-the-nerd]

ALSO SPEAKING AS SOMEBODY WHO ONLY KNOWS THE BARE MINIMUM OF GOOD OMENS AND THE INEFFABLE HUSBANDS i just wanna say im pretty sure bg3 has their equivalent in bloodweave (gale [the one played by tim downie] + astarion)

my defense:

autistic book nerd and king who has the Audacity to fight God + chaotic theater gay that gives cat vibes and may need Therapy

aziraphale and gale sound like the type that would have solidarity in old man knees . idek if thats canon for aziraphale but it sure as hell is for gale

aziraphale and gale rhyme holy shit thats becoming a legitimate bullet point AJSJSJSJA

the book nerds live in their own private library . gale has a whole ass wizards tower while aziraphale has his book shop (that iirc he doesnt even sell the books in it ???)

crowley and astarion are the same fruit men . i also dont know how to explain that crowley just gives me 8 strength vibes as well . even if he was an angel you cant tell me this man can lift more than three books at once

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other" vibes from the both of them (idc what the other endings for gale are hes denouncing mystra in my canon bc i say so <33)

is aziraphale the type to have a cat . he seems so . how about a cat w wings (<-a tressym) . theyd absolutely bond over that

if you replaced the cutscenes of astarions little hissy fits w crowley i think itd honestly still be pretty in character

if i manage to pirate good omens one of these days i will be confirming if my hypothesis is correct <33

Ooooh now we're talking :)))))) I'll try to be brief (< lying)

yup that's them.

'may need therapy' we all know they do, the 'may' is only there bc they either won't admit it (Aziraphale & Gale) or would have to get dragged kicking & screaming before ultimately weaseling their way out of it looney tunes style (Crowley & Astarion)

Aziraphale is an old man in all aspects except one (biologically), however Crowley is the same age and he would definitely have old man knees. he doesn't know what to do with his joints half of the time due to being snek

yeah there are no books being sold in that bookshop fgfjkfggnv. like, it's all first editions and what-not so i totally get not wanting to give any away but then why open a shop??? instead of a collection???

yk what, fair enough. Crowley is a noodle, those arms aren't doing much more opening doors for his angel. tbf he can lift multiple potted plants at once but that's more spite than anything

i could also totally see Astarion doing the Crowley Walk(TM)

"fuck the gods that did nothing for us. what if we chose each other vibes" so true, no notes.

aziraphale doesn't have a pet (yet) but I think he would love a cat (I mean, he's got Crowley hanging around, basically the same). A tressym is just a very peculiar step up from that (consider: it has it's own wings to match him and Crowley, which is really adorable!!)

crowley's hissy fits are great and can likewise be replaced with Astarion's.

similiar additions which would probably still be in character:

C slammed Aziraphale into a wall for calling him nice

C went out into the middle of the street when he got really frustrated/anxious and exploded lightning from his body

C agreed to take care of the bookshop, not selling any books etc. but tossed any books he was holding into some corner whenever

both of them evaded the immediate ire of their higher ups by pointing out a technicality that amounted to 'this word is explained to be different from the one you're using, but through a miniscule footnote on the last page of this giagantic book'

Aziraphale has an incredible hard time overcoming the trauma and toxic mindset upheld by his superiors, including how he views himself and his partner (that one's just sad, sry)

Solid ground for a hypothesis I'd say :))

#being so normal rn #i need to work on uni stuff i cannot start another drawing-- *hand's already twitching towards my pen* #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #bloodweave

[synnthamonsugar]

What is your thought about the Hive gods as Guardians discussion? (this is a long anon ask sorry!) I find it funny that we're all in agreement Xivu would be a Titan, but Oryx and Savathun remain a scuffle.

Personally, I think it's Oryx=warlock and Sav=hunter because (I'll try to keep it short haha)

Despite people putting Hunter for Oryx because of his Navigator/exploring urges, I often think about how he "dove to understand", and his nature is very warlocky with his fineass wormsilk robes. He really embodies that scholar commitment for me

Sav gets put as a Warlock because of her "witch queen" title and beef with Ikora and mindgames, but I would like to point out that her character is severely coded in being free and Hunters are often downolayed in their intelligence because of stereotypes but they are cunning. They represent bending the playing field to their tricks and voracity, plus the og beef relationship is Sav vs Eris, which I always read like a dynamic hunter/prey game with them. Also Eris + Sav shipping gang anywhere?

This topic is like a Pandoras box and people get really heated on it so I hope I don't come across as rude or anything! I just really love hearing the takes on this because wow this community can sometimes be crazy observant and thorough. Have a great one!!

Same brain wave, Anon!

We can agree Xivu is titan-coded for her tactical prowess and martial might, but Oryx and Savathun are less clear. Nevertheless, we've reached the same conclusion.

Oryx is, to me, unambiguously warlock-coded: his studies of the Darkness, his communion with the Deep, introspection and curiosity all read as remarkably warlock-like, though I can understand why the "navigation" aspect would throw people for a loop when doing these kinds of analyses.

I think there's a better case to be made for "warlock Savathun" than "hunter Oryx". Still, I think she's strongly hunter-coded: in addition to the points you brought up, her disguises/camouflaging and disappearing to pursue goals separate to those of her siblings. If Oryx sought to understand, Savathun sought to sow misunderstanding and that feels incredibly hunterish to me.

Of course, this is complicated by Savathun being a lightbearer now: 2/3 of her common attacks are warlock supers, and 1/3 of them are hunter supers. There's also the secret fourth ward of dawn during her WQ campaign boss fight. (And even that I'm not sure is hers or a result of the ritual her wizards are casting.)

Mechanically, I'm inclined to think of her as a hunter-warlock melange, but spiritually she still feels very hunter. She acts a lot like she did in her pre-guardian life, even without the pressure from her worm to deceive.

Also Eris + Sav shipping gang anywhere?

It's like me and a handful of other people but I would like to get more people in on it! I've written a few short fics with them, and some artwork you can find in my "eris/savathun" tag.

These first two aren't shippy per se, but I like the dynamics, and one of these sets up a latter ship fic:

Savathun finds Eris in the Pit

Unfinal Shapes (Lucent Brood Eris AU)

And a few shippy ones:

Kiss prompt

Wherein Savathun gives Eris a gift before her departure

Savathun helps Hive Guardian!Eris test her immortality

I also can't sing enough praises for the gay little teaparty fic that Kullen wrote, and inspired my own kiss fic:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/44770639/chapters/128703844

(Pardon the URL, I put it in instead of linking so this goes into the appropriate tags.)

Thank you for the lovely message anon!

#destiny #savathun #xivu arath #oryx #eris morn #asks

[disasterbijamietartt]

I’ll need a few days to really process the last episode, so don’t expect any meta until the weekend.

But I wanted to write a post about why I believe in the writers and why I think that … this sounds so arrogant and delusional, but that my predictions here* are roughly what will happen and queer folks can stay hopeful.

(*tl;dr: Essentially that Colin will be the inspiration for main characters to address their queerness, Ted Lasso spent two seasons straightbaiting its entire audience and this season will end queer as fuck)

When I started watching Ted Lasso I thought it would be a fun, but silly little sports comedy, but very soon it got obvious how the show featured heavier themes and that they didn’t follow the expected script. Like, when Rebecca tells Ted the truth, you’d normally get some drama and rising conflict – but we got instant forgiveness.

And it got soon obvious we’d get a love triangle with Jamie, Keeley and Roy and – as someone who knows how the script goes – my first assumption was, that Roy x Keeley will be endgame (which was sad, since I adored Jamie x Keeley from the beginning, but I digress).

But some of the things that usually put me off love triangles were missing: there was no prolonged unnecessary drama after Roy learned that Keeley hooked up with Jamie the night before, Jamie and Roy didn’t fight over who would “get” Keeley (even though Roy’s jealousy sure was one reason for the tension between him and Jamie, but it wasn’t the only one), Jamie didn’t try to actively win Keeley back throughout the second season, he didn’t try to sabotage their relationship, even though he still loved her. The rocky parts in Roy’s and Keeley’s relationship weren’t related to Jamie at all, on the contrary, Jamie kind of unintentionally fixed their problems.

So, when they diverge so much from the expected, should I really still assume they’ll end the show with the thing everyone expects to happen? (like, in classic romance structure, Roy and Keeley now had their third act break-up, that always happens before the happily ever after … but as Phil said in an interview, they’re situation is a lot more complex than you’ll usually get.)

So, anyway, Ted Lasso was playing with expectations from the beginning. You’d expect Ted x Rebecca and Roy x Keeley endgame cause that is how the classic narrative works but the show subverted classic structure in the first season. So why should we assume that they just stick to the classic script now?

Also the theme song:

“Yeah, might be all that you get,

Yeah, I guess this might well be it“

I always thought, for an optimistic show like Ted Lasso this was a kinda sober beginning. But if you look at this with a queer eye … Cishet people are so used to seeing their happy endings playing out, so that is what they’ll expect to get. Until the last couple years, queer people barely got any stories with happy endings, so you didn’t exactly grow up with the expectation you’ll get a happy ending.

So you just had to take what you got.

But on the other hand the song has this hopeful bit about trying and not giving up. And … okay, I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but, idk, it just feels like it would fit as the theme song for an ultimately hella queer show?

And there are a lot of allusions to “The Wizard of Oz”, starting with the title of the first episode, Ted being the “Man from Kansas” aka Dorothy – googling I found this post pointing out a lot parallels in the second season, so it is not just me being delusional again.

For context: The movie was released 1939. Between 1934 and 1968 due to the Hays Code people couldn’t be shown as being explicitly queer in movies in the US, so writers started to queercode characters to still indicate queerness. And there is of course queercoding in “The Wizard of Oz” just like Ted Lasso and the movie as a whole resonated a lot with queer audiences, making Judy Garland a Gay Icon (see here). 

Both the movie and L. Frank Baumans novels have a lot of queer subtext (like, there is even kind of a trans character in the novels?). "Friend of Dorothy” was a way gay men referred to each other at a time, where they couldn’t just openly ask about someone’s orientation.

Fun Fact: The movies title song “Over the Rainbow” soon became a queer anthem and people wondered whether it inspired the rainbow flag. But the creator, Gilbert Baker, said he was inspired by,

wait for it,

“She’s a Rainbow” by the Rolling Stones (see here).

Rings a bell?

The episode “Rainbow”?

Roy returning as a coach to Richmond?

Also: Jamie comparing the team to the Rolling Stones? Himself to Mick Jagger and Roy to Keith Richards, who both wrote the song?

And, looking at episode titles some more: The color "Lavender" is so queer it has it's own LGTBQ-section on Wikipedia. Also the bisexual pride flag, where the colours overlap to form lavender? There was probably some other reason I forgot that the episode where Jamie returned was called like the queerest color ever, but still …

WHAT A BUNCH OF CURIOUS COINCIDENCES!

Oh God, the more I look, the queerer everything gets! I think I could go on some more, but I need to get breakfast and then some work done.

#my meta #ted lasso speculations #jamie x roy #roy x jamie #ted x trent #tedtrent #tedependent #colin hughes #jamie x keeley x roy #this doesn't reference any ship but might be relevant soo #if I'm wrong I delete my tumblr #and burn something down #kidding I'll just never trust a tv show ever again #ted lasso meta #queer coding #ted lasso

[vintage-bentley]

in depth harry potter spoiler warning. but i wanted to talk about gay!dumbledore. what jkr really does well is the adult backstories. you meet the adult characters from an eleven year old’s perspective. as harry ages (in the last book he’s seventeen) he gradually learns new things about the adults and gains a better understanding of them as full people. but every single one of these adults was already the full person harry understands them as in book 7 all the way back in book 1. a lot of other ya authors try to imitate this and fuck up, either because they get excited and jump the gun, giving us way too much info way too soon, or because it’s blatant that the complexity was added later. dumbledore is a great example. in book 1 when harry first learns who he is (from the back of a candy box trading card with commentary from his friend ron) he’s this highly revered wizard who famously defeated the greatest dark wizard of all time pre-voldemort in a duel. when harry meets him it’s noted that his nose is crooked like it had been broken and never healed correctly. there’s a mirror that shows you your greatest wish and when harry asks what dumbledore sees he says a nice pair of knitted socks. harry can tell he’s lying but doesn’t push because he realizes that was a really personal question, but he doesn’t know dumbledore well enough to know what the truth would be. we get the full backstory drop in book 7. the simple version is: when dumbledore was a young man he was extremely close to another young man, one his brother didn’t like. they wind up in a three way brawl, dumbledore’s sister gets caught in the crossfire and dies. boyfriend up and leaves, brother breaks dumbledore’s nose at the funeral, boyfriend goes on to be the powerful dark wizard that dumbledore battles decades later. so even though harry didn’t know that backstory in book 1, it’s clear looking back it was already a part of him. anyway this is why it drives me bonkers when people say that dumbledore wasn’t gay in the books and jkr just said that after the fact for clout, because it’s an integrated part of his character and arc and has clearly been what jkr had in mind from the get go. no, harry doesn’t get the definition of homosexuality talk but homosexuality is absolutely there (and in more than just how close he and evil wizard were in backstory, in book 7 a homophobic tabloid journalist insinuates dumbledore was molesting harry). people act like him being gay was a retcon when it was just jkr being honest about what she wrote. sorry for the novel but yeah

Don’t be sorry, I’m glad to have this context!! Like I said, I haven’t read or watched HP so I’m completely clueless here and don’t really want to praise or bash Rowling over something I don’t know about. I lean towards praise though because it seems like anyone not caught on the “I hate JKR!” Bandwagon claims that Gay Dumbledore was handled well.

I really like the concept of finding out more about the adults as the child protagonist ages and gains new insight!

Tbh I imagine that this is a similar situation to GO S1: it’s not technically canon because it’s not explicit, and readers/viewers who either don’t want to see homosexuality, or are too entrenched in heteronormativity to think of spotting it, won’t see it. But LGB people and possibly even allies will spot it, because they’re either used to reading between the lines or are willing to see it.

So I don’t think she should be praised for explicit gay representation, which I haven’t seen anyone claiming (although like I said, I haven’t read the books so it’s possible I’d change my mind if I read them). But she’s much different from Neil in that she’s said “yes, it was my intention that he was gay, and there’s clues in the text that point to this and prove my intentions”. Neil has been like “yeah we called him the f slur and made him a gay stereotype for the laughs, but no he’s not gay. He can be literally anything else though”.

#asks #anon

[kyliafanfiction]

Take Your Favorite (Het) Ship and Make Them Lesbians

So, the other day, I read a Rule 63!Zuko/Katara fic that had the tag “take your favorite ship then make them lesbians” (which somehow was a tag no one else had tagged their fic as, which is a real travesty), and that got me thinking. (The fic, for reference and Science Purposes)

(Rule 63, for those not familiar with the term, is a meme that says  "for every given male character, there is a female version of that character and vice versa”. In a fanfic context, Rule 63 is usually another term for ‘cisswap’/Always a girl Aus, i.e. a story where a character who is one character in canon, was born a different one in the AU. These are not the same as trans fic, though sometimes the lines can blur. The various ‘the Girl Who Lived’ fics that exist out there for Fem!Harry, for instance)

That tag is itself really interesting, and it got me thinking. Because there are het ships of mine that I would totally want to see a Rule 63 lesbian version of (i.e. where the guy was always a girl) but there are also ones that I... just wouldn’t.

So I suppose the question is: What het ships do you guys have that you still would find as interesting, and would want to see in a fic (or even consider writing in a fic) if the male character was Rule 63′d? And why?

For me, the top of the list would probably be Dramione (Harry Potter). One, because on a purely shallow level I have to imagine that femaleDraco would be very pretty (:rofl:) but also because there would be some interesting differences in the way Dacia Malfoy (placeholder name) would behave, compared to Draco. Both vis-a-vis Harry, but also Hermione. Plus, Dacia would be less the ‘bad boy’ and more likely the ‘Alpha Bitch’, which is a somewhat different set of tropes, to say the least. Would Dacia have reached out to Harry in the same way, in first year? Maybe, maybe not. Would she still have had Crabbe and Goyle as her goons, or instead say, Pansy and Millicent Bullstrode? A lot of this would also depend on how you see the gender politics among purebloods in the wizarding world (are sons more favored, or no? Are the genders equal? Are there certain expectations about women and their behavior? etc)

My second choice would be Xander/Cordelia, from BtVS. For one, it would be interesting because we could drill down into Xander’s canon behavior and try to separate what is just Xander being Xander, what is a product of his upbringing, and what is a result of him struggling with performing ideas of toxic masculinity because he believes he’s supposed to (related to the second point). If in a fic, Xandra (placeholder name) still has the same apparently shitty parents, how would it look? We can surmise that Mr. Harris presumably berated Xander about how he’d never be a real man a lot, though I can’t recall if the dream version of him does so in “Restless”. But we also know that Xander fears turning into his dad, a lot. Xendra might fear becoming an alcholic like her dad, but she may more likely fear ending up becoming like her mom - letting herself be abused rather than being the abuser, etc. It would also be interesting because, given how things were in 1997/1998, Cordelia realizing she’s gay/bi (or at least being out even to one person) would be a different dynamic. Especially if she and Xendra get caught at the same time. Or maybe Cordelia is more careful, and Xendra is more willing to be the dirty little secret she makes out with in closets? If caught, would Cordelia ever be willing to commit the possibly even greater social suicide of openly dating a girl in a late 90s High School? Or could she pull it off because she’s just that much Queen of the School? How does Willow’s crush on Xander work in an AU where she’s Xendra? If willow’s crush was about it being on a ‘safe’ and ‘unattainable’ boy (a common experience I’ve seen many cis lesbians talking about with regards to when they were younger and still thought or still tried to convince themselves they were straight), then presumably she wouldn’t have crushed on Xendra? Might she have crushed on Jesse? (or does Xendra end up being how Willow realizes she’s gay sooner?) Would Xendra have crushed on Jesse? Is Xendra gay or bi in this AU? Does she still crush on Buffy? If so, does she handle rejection or the prospect thereof better because she assumes Buffy is straight? Does she even try to ask her out?  I mean, there are others I’d read a Rule 63! Lesbian AU for, or even have, when they exist, but I have to admit I don’t find the potential dynamics inherent to be quite as interesting. And yeah, there are some het ships I ship that I just... wouldn’t find quite as interesting if they were lesbians, or just can’t see happening at all in a recognizeable way.

So I ask you tumblr - if you were to take a het ship and make them lesbians, which one(s) would you pick, and why?

#Rule 63 #Cisswap #Genderswap #Shipping #Fandom #Musings #Take Your Favorite (Het) Ship and Make Them Lesbians #Just Little Fandom Things #Just Little Shipping Things #Genderbent AU #Genderbending #Genderswapping

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why Luz Noceda is a Fan-Frickin'-Tastic Character

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And today, I’d like to say that I’m about to introduce you to somebody, but, odds are, you already know about her.

Mainly because I’ve talked about this character quite a lot.

This is Luz Noceda, from Disney’s latest hit The Owl House. And she might just be the best character in the show, which is saying something given that The Owl House is filled with incredible characters. Hell, I would probably do an entire essay based around each and every one of them if I had the time and sanity to do so…which I don’t.

So, instead, we’re just focussing on Luz, and for good reason. There are a few great things about her that I really don’t think the fandom takes the time to appreciate. And I’m going to do my best to point out my favorite reasons for why I love Luz.

What are those reasons? Well, let me count the ways.

1. She’s Wonderful Representation

I don’t want to say that Luz is perfect or “the way to do representation right,” mainly because I don’t think it’s possible for any character to be that way. But, I will say that there’s a lot of Luz that makes for great representation. Luz Noceda is Dominican, bisexual, and a girl that doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes. You see these qualities in Luz throughout the show in the ways that she speaks Spanish, gains crushes on both boys and girls, and wears outfits that aren’t exactly feminin. Admittingly, her Dominican roots don’t get as much attention as Anne Boonchuy’s Thai culture in Amphibia, but I’m willing to give some leeway in that respect. Matt Braly, Amphibia’s creator, wanted to shine a light on a culture–his culture–that he felt was underrepresented in most media. Dana Terrace, The Owl House’s creator, wanted to do something similar, only instead of focusing on Luz’s culture, Dana focussed more on Luz’s sexuality, feeling as though it’s a part of Dana that’s also underrepresented.

And yet, despite everything Luz represents, these aspects don’t overshadow her character. The writers didn’t make her whole thing being Dominican, bisexual, or a girl who doesn’t dress “girly.” These are parts of Luz that exist and will always be present, but not in the way that’s similar to writers who make their character’s personality based on the representation. Like how having a gay character in a story, writers would just make that character’s whole personality be defined by gay steorotypes rather than, you know, actual personality traits. As for Luz, she is defined more than that. She’s goofy, nerdy, optimistic, and a whole bunch of stuff that makes Luz her wonderful, unique self. In other words, the writers focussed more on the who and not the what. And as for who Luz is…

2. She’s NOT A Chosen One

I’m well aware that the picture above kind of negates that statement, but stick with me.

In “Witches Before Wizards,” Luz tries desperately to follow the footsteps of her favorite fantasy hero, hoping that she too could be a plucky protagonist predestined for greatness. Only to learn, in the end of that episode, that the whole idea of “a chosen one” is complete bulls**t.

There is no prophecy or predetermined fate that led to Luz coming to the Boiling Isles and dealing with Emperor Belos. The whole reason that she’s there was a complete and total accident.

…Ok, the elephant in my room is giving me a look, so I might as well bring a little certain something up.

Yes, “Elsewhere and Elsewhen” revealed that Luz coming to the Isles shaped the destiny of a certain character (not saying who because I want to keep this spoiler free). But even that doesn’t feel like it takes away from Luz’s journey being an accident. Yes, there’s a predetermined reason for why Luz is on the Isles, but it’s done in a way where it seems like Luz hasn’t influenced things TOO MUCH. What happened was going to happen anyway. Luz just…sped up a certain time table. Besides, even the whole situation of “Elsewhere and Elsewhen” felt like an accident too, meaning that while it’s kind of predestined, but it’s in the same way your car was predestined to hit that street light. No one knew it was going to happen, but it was always going to happen anyway.

Does that clear things up? It did? Good.

Now, I can’t explain enough how much I adore that it was an accident that led to Luz coming to the Isles. It just means that everything she does, every adventure she goes on, is one hundred percent on her. She isn’t destined to be this great hero who will defeat the bad guy. She’s just a kid who wants to do the right thing all because she wants to help people. It’s a refreshing take on a child protagonist, as most tend to be driven because someone told them that they’re destined for greatness. Luz is often told that she’s special, but she’s much more frequently told to stay back and sit in the sidelines so as not to get hurt. Yet, Luz does it anyway because she’d rather eat her hoodie than let someone suffer. Because you don’t need to be someone special to do the right thing. You just need the morality to do good and the will to fight. And Luz both has the morality and the will to fight..even though…

3. She’s Not Much of A Fighter

She really isn’t. 

Anytime Luz is in a fight, she more or less scrambles just to survive. Every attempt to attack someone head-on rarely goes well and that’s mainly because Luz isn’t a bruiser. She still has a great number of spells that can work in a fight and do their job in helping her survive, but that’s about it most of the time. Hell, aside from “Reaching Out,” I can’t think of a time when Luz won a fight by overpowering an enemy.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “Well, then why is Luz not being much of a fighter a compliment?” And the answer is simple: She doesn’t win fights by outfighting her foes, but outsmarting them. There are so many instances when Luz came through in a fight just because she planned things out ahead of time or because she thought fast on her feet. Some of Luz’s greatest feats come from the fact that she managed to improvise a solution that worked all because she was clever enough to think of it. This type of character is always my favorite, because it proves that one’s true strength comes from the mind, not their physical strength nor ability. It’s always cool to see a character win a fight in a grand battle that involves trading blows until one is left standing, but I just admire someone that manages to use their wits to win. Afterall, there’s a reason why people say, “fight smarter, not harder.” And a thing about Luz is that–

4. She’s Pretty Smart and Resourceful

Something you see in certain fan comics and fanfiction is people writing Luz off as an idiot, flanderizing her quirkiness as just plain stupidity.

That couldn’t be further from the truth. Can she be a little reckless at times? Yes. Was she oblivious to a certain character’s affection? Absolutely. But is Luz stupid? Not exactly. Because Luz is kind of a genius, primarily when it comes to making glyphs. There were some that she found by lucky chance, but there are scenes that prove that Luz took a lot of time studying her environment for glyphs or making new ones based on trial and error. It almost makes her a mad scientist, experimenting and analyzing ways to add to her arsenal. Granted, this is a part of her that isn’t shown often, and it’s honestly something I wished the series showed us more of, but those little scenes where we do see Luz experimenting does prove that she’s smarter than people give her credit for. Like that one kid in class who’s not too smart socially but still manages to recite the periodic table by memory.

And, as I’ve said, this intelligence feeds into when she’s in a dangerous situation. Like when she slips a glyph onto something or someone to give her an advantage. Or when she uses research to mix glyphs and win the day in an episode like “Hunting Palisman.” She’s got a bit of a big brain in her noggin, and it’s that same intelligence that gives Luz her power.

Which leads me to my next point…

5. She’s Powerful But Not Overpowered

Luz can throw fireballs, entangle people in vines, and even turn invisible. And yet, despite all that she can do, Luz isn’t exactly an all powerful witch.

The strength of the glyph depends on how big it is, meaning that Luz’s usual glyph papers, while still capable of doing powerful stuff, aren’t as strong as they could be if combined or drawn bigger. Plus, some of her glyphs have limitations. The invisibility glyph can turn Luz and anyone/anything she touches invisible, but only for as long as she holds her breath. And while the light glyph can make a good light source, there’s not much it can do in a fight other than temporarily blind a foe.

Now, a character not being all powerful might sound as weird as a compliment as saying that they’re not a fighter, but I actually love that there’s limits to what Luz can do. While a character that’s limitless can be interesting (when done correctly), seeing a character who has limits can be a little more compelling. Not only is there added tension to any situation the character’s in, but you get to see them grow past their limits and become stronger with each episode. The same goes for Luz. Look at what she could do in “A Lying Witch in a Wardrobe” and compare it to the one in “Young Blood, Old Souls.” She went from being a kid who could barely escape from Warden Wrath to a kid who could barely go toe-to-toe with Belos…Ok, total transparency, her feats aren’t too impressive either, but trust me when I say that Luz does grow throughout the series in terms of power. Not as much as others, but still enough where you can tell that she’s not the same kid that she started out as. A journey that wouldn’t have been as nearly as compelling if she was already perfect at everything that she did.

But enough about talking about how cool Luz is and how much she’s developed. Let’s dive deep into her character and personality. Because if you ask me…

6. She is Layered

On the surface, Luz seems like a goofy nerd who likes editing anime clips to music and reading fantasy books with convoluted backstories. But when you peel back to see the layers in this particular onion, you’ll find that there’s a lot more to her.

For instance, Luz is a good person. Nothing will ever change that. Even if she breaks so many laws and constantly gets into heaps of trouble, by the end of the day, Luz is still a kind hearted individual. When holding a Moonlight Conjuring in “Hooty’s Moving Hassle,” she does it against Eda’s orders, but only to make Willow and Gus feel better. Plus, even during the conjuring, it’s Luz who tends to act as the voice of reason, trying to convince Gus and Willow that they should call it quits before things get worse. Even when doing something bad, there is always a part of Luz that acts with a bit of kindness within her. Like how in “O’ Titan, Where Art Thou,” her goal in that episode is to pull off a heist, but only because she wants to steal back something that will make King happy. Stealing from the government (even if it’s a crooked government) isn’t exactly the nicest thing to do, but the good intentions help make things a little better.

But as nice as Luz is, she isn’t this being of endless optimism who thinks that everything will turn out alright in the end if you believe hard enough. There are episodes where that seems to be the case, but for the most part, it seems as though there are episodes where even Luz has her limits and times when she cries after realizing how hopeless a given situation is. Being optimistic in the face of adversity is admirable, but the realism of proving that everyone has a point where they give up, whether it be brief or not, gets so many more points for me.

Speaking of limits, while Luz can be happy go lucky, there are times when she can get angry, downright bloodthirsty. There’s even an entire episode where all Luz can think is “kill, kill, kill, kill…” Yet, despite how angry she gets, Luz is still very much her usual self. When facing the exact person she wants dead, Luz screams, “Talk to the glyphs, witch!” This is a time where all Luz feels is rage, and she still manages to scream this quick quip that fits her well. It shows us that despite her darkest moments a part of her is still going to be a little silly. And that’s true through all the ways that Luz is layered. Whether it’s through her movements or just by saying a random thing, Luz is and always will be a silly person even when she’s down in the dumps. That’s just who she is at her core and that’s amazing. To me, it’s important that a character’s central personality doesn’t change too much, no matter how grim things can get. After all, that personality is what won us over, so completely changing Luz’s character for the story will just feel…wrong. I’d rather have her be a little silly, even if it’s just for a single quip, than to lose something that makes Luz, well, Luz.

But, in fairness, silliness isn’t Luz’s best quality. It would be the fact that–

7. She Improves the Lives of Everyone She Meets

Trust me when I say that the above image is a perfect representation of everything that makes Luz amazing.

And it’s true. Every single person that Luz meets managed to live better lives because she was in it. I’d love to go into detail as to how, but that’d be spoiling a lot, so, instead, I’m going to leave a link to a post I made a while ago. It shows exactly how much certain characters changed because of Luz and it’s for those who don’t care about spoilers or are curious to see what I mean.

For this post, I’ll just say that the way Luz manages to light up the lives of nearly every character in The Owl House is just…incredible. Literally, the lives of almost every character in the show improved just because Luz accidentally stumbled onto the Boiling Isles. It shows just how wonderful an influence she has and proving an act of kindness, or several acts, can go a long way. Even if you think the person doesn’t deserve it, you’d be surprised how important a helping hand could be in making them act better. There are exceptions, of course, and both the writers and Luz herself knows this. Still, having someone so generously kind and making things better because of it is a character that is all too easy to love.

Unfortunately, there’s a price to this. Because…

8. Her Kindness is Her Greatest Flaw

At first, I was going to leave this whole analysis at my previous point. But then the Season Two finale happened, and it made me realize something: Luz can, at times, put other people’s needs before her own. And the series shows how that’s not a good thing. To name a few prominent examples:

In “Young Blood, Old Souls,” Luz makes a sacrifice that puts her in an iffy situation for most of Season Two.

Luz made herself a practice dummy in “Escaping Expulsion” just so Gus and Willow can get back into Hexside.

With “Reaching Out,” Luz helps Amity in an attempt to put Luz’s mind off of something that she shouldn’t ignore.

And, in “King’s Tide,” Luz tries to make another big sacrifice for her fiends and family despite how they all beg her not to.

These were all actions that come from good intentions, but think of the consequences that came from them all. The emotional strains with prominent relationships in Luz’s life or the physical strain some instances do to her body. We often praise characters who put others' needs before themselves, but The Owl House seems to show how such a mindset is unhealthy. No one’s pain is worth more than your own and you shouldn’t have the whole world weighed down on your shoulders. Even if you’re the protagonist of your own story, not everything depends on you. That’s pretty much what Luz goes through in this series, and it’s a problem she needs to get over. Otherwise, Luz will lose the very same people she cares about. It’s an aspect of her character that’s fascinating to me because, again, we don’t often see this with protagonists. The closest I can think of is Adora from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) and maybe Steven from Steven Universe, but you can clearly see that’s not a lengthy list. So, I appreciate this attempt in showing kids that, while kindness is admirable, it doesn’t mean that you are less important than anyone else.

In short: Luz making lives better makes her a great role model, but the ways she goes too far makes her a cautionary tale. And it’s time the fandom appreciated that.

Luz, to me, is the best character in The Owl House. Everyone else is still really great, but I feel like I could talk for hours on end about Luz. Even with this analysis, I feel like I’ve only barely scratched the surface about this character and why she’s so amazing. We can all love Eda for her slowly becoming a nurturing mother or Amity for becoming a better person, but to me, nothing beats a character that’s both sweet and tortured, slowly becoming a better person and a better witch throughout the series.

And that’s why she’s a fan-fickin’-tastic character.

#the owl house #luz noceda #fan-frickin'-tastic characters #character analysis

[skullhaver]

3, 17, 24, and 41 for Galsariad.

5, 24, 27 for Ayo

(cracking my knuckles) I love that you went for so many lol, let's do this.

Galsariad hours:

3. How would your PC describe themselves?

"I'm a wizard, a student, and a scholar. I suppose recently I'm an adventurer, as well. That part has been more terrifying and more thrilling than I could have imagined."

17. What are your PCs favorite fruits (not including gay people)

Well it WOULD include gay people, but I also think Gal likes lychees and plums.

24. If your PC found a book that detailed their whole life, from birth to whatever death they’ll have, would they read it and why?

He'd be completely unable to resist. He'd find a quill and red ink and make editorializing notes in the margins when he felt past things needed clarification or correction. When it came to predicting the future, he'd be skeptical of its accuracy and very curious if it was pure speculation or if there was some magical divination at play. He would immediately try to do something to disprove something the book predicts about his future.

41. Does your PC have a favorite spell, and if so, which?

Bit of a peek behind the curtain, but Galsariad has a unique spell ability called Distort Gravity that I think he's extremely pleased that he can do. Being at the top of his class in his youth and thus being selected to study dunamancy was a major point of pride for him.

Ayo hours:

5. What is your PC’s idle animation?

Bounces on the balls of her feet, rolls her neck until it cracks, laces her fingers and stretches her arms above her head. Definitely Bouncy.

24. If your PC found a book that detailed their whole life, from birth to whatever death they’ll have, would they read it and why?

She'd just scoff at it and say that she writes her own story, and nobody else could capture the awesomeness of her past voyages or the glory of her future heroics.

27. When your PCs hit rock bottom, what do they do?

Won't surprise you to learn that she gets Big Emotions and can be pretty volatile about them. I think saying much more specifically might end up being a potential spoiler.

#call of the netherdeep #weird eyes and pronouns

[kingdomoftyto]

Just for fun, since I mentioned them in the tags of that other post, I'm gonna rank the musicals I got to see this year (mostly just as an excuse to gush about them all). Note that the scores will solely represent my personal taste and do not necessarily reflect the quality of the shows themselves.

This is gonna be a long post.

In chronological order for when I saw them:

Turnabout: An Ace Attorney Musical 9.5/10 A young lawyer fights a corrupt system to save his clients from death row, and also there are ghosts involved. This is a completely fan-made, full-length musical adaptation of the first entry in the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney series. A better adaptation of a video game than basically every game-based movie ever made, combined. The writers nailed it, the composers nailed it, the performers nailed it... It's one of my new favorites, and a must-watch for any fans of the games. It's funny and heartwarming but with real emotional depth at its most climactic moments. Also, spoiler alert: these lawyers are gay. Favorite song: "Alone"

SIX the Musical 6/10 (You see what I did there? lol) A conversation between the six wives of King Henry VIII as they determine which of them was done dirtiest by this dirtiest of men. (For those unaware, two of his wives were famously beheaded, two more were divorced, and even the one he supposedly loved died young.) This show is... more of a concert than a musical? The songs themselves are all bangers, if I'm honest, but the "story" is pretty cheesy and shallow--mostly just an excuse to give each of the wives a reason to sing their stories--hence the low score from me. Definitely worth giving a listen, though, if you're a fan of female pop singers, since each wife's song is in the style of a famous artist (Beyoncé, Avril Lavigne, Adele, Rihanna/Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande/Britney Spears, and Alicia Keyes, respectively). Favorite song: "Get Down"

Wicked 10/10 The now-classic prequel to the Wizard of Oz, telling the story of the Wicked Witch of the West before she became so feared. One of my perennial favorites, with extra bonus points for the tickets being my birthday present this year. Not the first time I've seen the show live, nor even the first time I've seen it at this particular theater, but it was a great performance nonetheless. Really made me think deeply about the themes of antifascism and apathy this time around. Favorite song: "For Good"

Beautiful: The Carol King Musical 6.5/10 A biography of singer and songwriter Carol King. The songs were all famous hits that she'd composed, written, and/or sung, and it was a fascinating look into the life and career of a woman I'd never even known the name of before. Also an educational look into the music industry of the 60s and 70s--she composed for a lot of famous black artists of the time! Biographies aren't my thing--and especially not ones with toxic relationships as large focal points--but it was much more fun and interesting than I expected. As it is, though, between it being a jukebox musical and a historical mid-20th-century piece, I can't personally rate it any higher. Great music, though, regardless. Favorite Song: "It Might As Well Rain Until September" (not the best SONG in the show by any stretch, but the most memorable story beat for sure! It's the song that she composed as a teen that got her her first big break)

Beauty and the Beast 7.5/10 The Disney classic. And one of my absolute favorites from Disney, which is why I maybe had too high of expectations for the live version, haha. I was personally a little let down by some of the effects--the puppeteering was good, but a little abstract sometimes. It was still just as fun and lovely as you'd expect a Disney show to be, but I remember coming away from it thinking that it was definitely aimed more at the kids in the audience. Worth it, but not among my favorites of the year. Favorite song: "Human Again" (a song so good I still can't believe it was cut from the movie!)

Chess 10/10 A sociopolitical drama about two chess grandmasters--one Soviet and one American--set against the backdrop of the Cold War. I'm obsessed. This musical has LAYERS--and I don't just mean within the musical motifs, although that is also true! The main character, despite his best efforts not to pick a side, becomes an unwilling pawn himself in all the political scheming. And alongside the competition and the international tension, there's a love story that becomes the emotional core of the play. It's tragic, heart-wrenching, and tense as all hell, but an absolutely underappreciated musical that I hope will get more widespread attention as a result of this performance at the Muny! (Oh yeah, and the music is a collab between Tim Rice [of Jesus Christ Superstar fame] and ABBA?? Basically it's the most 80s thing ever conceived.) Favorite song: "Where I Want to Be"

West Side Story 7/10 You know West Side Story. It's Romeo and Juliet but with a gang war in 1950s New York. This was the first time I'd ever actually seen it, and I'm glad I finally got around to it. Not really my thing, honestly--seen one Romeo and Juliet, seen 'em all, frankly--but even I can recognize the choreography was incredible. This show has a LOT of elaborate dancing by today's musical standards (also not my thing), and by far the best part of the show was the knife fight scene on the Muny's giant turntable floor. That part was so mindblowing that it bumps the overall score up a couple points on its own. Favorite song: "America"

Little Shop of Horrors 9/10 A poor, unlucky florist gains fame and fortune by befriending a bloodthirsty alien plant. Hilarious, a little dark, and with more depth and earnest emotion than most people probably expect from something so silly and camp. Possibly my single favorite musical, so, automatic win. This production gets a little bit of a demerit for the really odd design of Audrey II and the immersion-breaking puppetry that went along with it, but they earned most of it back when a 30-foot-tall Audrey II actually WALKED OUT FROM BEHIND THE BACKDROP and loomed over the performers while they sang the finale. It was terrifying and awesome and I was absolutely yelling and applauding. Favorite song: "Somewhere That's Green"

Rent 8/10 A year in the life of some artist friends living through the height of the AIDS epidemic. It's a beloved piece of queer history and rightfully so--the tragedies hit hard, and the celebration of love and life hits even harder. I'm personally kind of ambivalent about the show. I have my criticisms, but I recognize its cultural importance and I'm not fool enough to deny that a few of the songs are among the best from all of Broadway. (Yeah yeah, I know all of the words to "La Vie Bohème", alright? The music's amazing.) This production was kind of neat, too--definitely enjoyed it more than I did the movie! Favorite song: "La Vie Bohème"

Sister Act 8.5/10 A lounge singer witnesses a murder and is forced to become a nun at a nearby convent for witness protection. She's not very good at laying low, so hilarity ensues. I'd never seen the film it's based on, so I had NO idea what to expect from this show going in, but I actually kind of loved it. It was consistently hilarious, the characters were all extremely charming, and the emotional beats in the second half were lovely and heartfelt. I love that the ending not only has such a strong message of found family, but also that there is no pressure at all on the lead character to actually join the religion, even though she's welcome to visit the other nuns anytime. If anything, it's more of a story about appreciating their differences! Plus, the show's got a singing Pope. What more could you want? (...oh snap, and I forgot this is another Alan Menken musical. No wonder the songs are all so good!) Favorite song: "Bless Our Show"

Beetlejuice the Musical 7/10 A teenage girl, feeling alone and invisible after the loss of her mother, finds out that her new home is haunted by ghosts. She enlists their help in scaring her father's weird business partners, but one ghost is a little more, uh, wacky? insane? ...unhinged than the others. In my opinion, this musical was intended to be watched by fans of the movie, but either way it works alright. It's a little awkwardly structured at times thanks to Beetlejuice's constant Deadpool-style fourth wall breaking--I could do without so much of that, personally--but most of the songs are solid enough and it's still very funny, with the kind of perfectly cartoonish characters that only Tim Burton could have produced. Despite any shortfalls it might have, though, I have to give this one extra marks for genuinely bringing me to tears in its second act. I was not expecting it, but I'm dead serious. Yeah. There's really good storytelling about grief and healing in the "tally me banana" musical. I know. Favorite song: "No Reason"

HONORABLE MENTION because I didn't see this one as a live show or as a major online premiere or anything, but it WAS the first time I'd ever watched it (plus this rounds out the list to a nice dozen!):

Legally Blonde the Musical 9.5/10 After getting dumped, a woman gets into Harvard Law to show her ex that she's worthy of his love, only to realize that being a lawyer is more fulfilling anyway. This musical effing rules. It's even better than the movie it's based on, which was already good. It's SO funny from start to finish, every single song is catchy as hell, and it's empowering and feel-good and even a little cathartic at times. There's a song that includes a dog barking on cue, there's an Ace Attorney-style courtroom scene where the clue that breaks the case is how gay the witness is, and there's an actual love story in the back half that manages to be sweet and good despite all this chaos. I'm so sad that I missed out on seeing this one live at the Muny by a single year. :( Oh well, I'll catch it next time...! Favorite song: "So Much Better"

P.S. labeling all of those as my "favorite" songs is such a lie, lmao. My favorite song for some of these changes with the wind. I encourage anyone who's read this far to check out ALL of these musicals in their entirety, because even the ones that weren't my favorites were still really good and a blast to see!

#musicals

[turbobyakuren]

I think one of my favorite dumb things about HP is the magic system. Especially the “this funky green laser kills you instantly.” Spell. Making fun of the Dumbledore vs Moldy Voldy Snakedick in the 5th book has been done before but it really was “Dumbledingledangle does cool wizard shit” and then “Voldemort shot his green Piss beam again”. Just make him do cool wizard shit but evil! Instead she just makes “magic can do anything but I’m just gonna make a kill button spell”

Also a whole lot of HP writing is “we acknowledge this world has fundamental social issues and we will point them out but nothing actually gets changed because change is scary and bad. We’ll fix it for like one person but not tackle the actual issue.” Like Harry being loaded but also being “man it sure is a shame that my best friend’s family is so poor, I wish that could be helped in some way”. She doesn’t even touch on that point lmao.

DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR THE VERY LATE REPLY but I DEFINITELY AGREE. FUNNY THING IS I was talking about this EXACT FIRST POINT with a friend and i was like "yeah i don't want to make a post about it lol" but you know what? I will make a post about it: the WORST part of Harry Potter is that the magic system is absolute fucking dogshit. I am no expert on the lore (as if there is lore) but as far as i know, there is nothing coherent about the Wizard's magic system. They pretty much can do anything. There is no gauge for power or strength, no origin for magic, no drawbacks or weaknesses to magic, and no branches of magic. Magic is pretty much a swiss tool with which they can do anything. The concept of forbidden spells is pretty neat on paper until you realize that this "forbidden" is because they have nefarious consequences (torture and Kill) but it's all illegal in name. Anyone could cast avada kadabra if they wanted to.

We were comparing Naruto and Harry Potter in that they were a bit alike in terms of what they had to say (underdog vs the establishment who becomes part of the establishment and going "there is no problem with the establishment haha"), but the THING about Naruto is that its magic system isn't fucking Dog Shit. The magic system of the Ninja has certain rules (using Chakra as energy being a core principle) and there are different categories and branches (Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, Taijutsu to name a few...) and THIS allows for specializations. Those are neat and make room for interesting characters! There's a ninja who specializes in controlling his shadow for example! Or ninjas who prefer using weapons, puppetry, or elemental stuff like sands. And that's why Rock Lee is a VERY compelling character because he cannot use Chakra to use Ninjutsu like a regular ninja. So his mentor Gai taught him to only focus on using Taijutsu, which uses no Chakra. So while Rock Lee cannot use proper Ninja Magic he uses his OWN kind of Ninja Magic that works with how his body works. And THIS is a middle finger to the establishment that's like "you can't be a ninja because a ninja has to use his chakra". The problem with the wizarding world (WHAT A DOG SHIT NAME) is that JK Rowling is so spineless she cannot make a character like Rock Lee in her universe. If she did make a character like that, it would be a comic relief and have no significant moment. And also re: magic system, basically... Yeah, there are branches in Harry Potter but they are so anecdotal i barely remember them aside from potion making or horticulture.

I wrote a lot about your first ask and i'd avoid making this post any longer. Your second ask is WAY too on the nose, everyone has pointed it out and i don't want to paraphrase you bc it's been repeated ad nauseam, but yeah. JK Rowling is so spineless because she wrote a book for children with the mentality of a child. And even then, an actual child is more intelligent about this kind of stuff than her.

#asks #foxmancer

[loverboypercy]

Starline for the acrostic game? ~sunlight-ships

ACROSTIC F/O ASK GAME

thank uuu @sunlight-ships <33

S - Story - if you and them were in a fairytale, which story would you be and who would play which character?

tbh i already have an idea of sa/tbk red being morgan le fay - granted as much more of a "arthur/sonics silly wizard sibling that lives in the mountains" than their more traditional kind of personality.

i think it would be funny if we got to see eggs in that universe as some kinda evil king, w starline as his like advisor, trusted guard or smthin. then he gets seduced by a funny weirdo.

T - Teach - what skills of theirs would they teach you? what would you teach them?

uh, i mean. they had to start learning more hand-to-hand combat bcs thats what starline kinda does-

but in their like. actual relationship he'd try to get red into hacking and some of the more advanced robotic stuff but they either are Bad at it or just don't really care all that much.

however, i hc that he actually loves cooking/baking so thats something they get to do together and bond over ! he's also one of those Fancy mfers that have their tea like done in a specific way. buddy learns how to do that for him bcs sometimes he needs a lil pick-me-up

A - Art - do they draw or paint? what about any other kind of art? what’s their favorite style/subject/another artist who inspires them?

he admits to having a mild soft spot for aesthetics. he did design and paint his logo himself after all ! if he did end up making art it would probably be more the abstract kind. its a little pretentious but like. red thinks its cute.

he is not allowed to talk about his inspiration and why he wont stop drawing stylised cityscapes and theme parks.

R - Rainbow - what colors do you associate with them and why?

tbh that really nice magenta on his outfit and his eyes make me a lil <3 u kno. its a v pretty colour !

L - Language - what’s their love language? what’s yours?

being annoying /j

i think its pretty solidly set up from his canon appearances that he's an acts of service/gifts kinda guy ! red is also gifts but also quality time.

I - Image - show us a picture of them that gives you a lot of feelings. if they aren’t a visual character, describe your mental image of them!

i love everyones take on him but evans got a special little place in my heart. also his gay little earrings,, never forget what they took from us..

(i also really REALLY love his more monsterous/frankenstein-y concept art where he is Tall. but this post is already really LONG-)

N - Nostalgia - what’s your f/o’s favorite memory?

considering uh. how He Is and comments made off-handedly on ians podcast - i imagine his family wasnt. the best. there was always a disconnect there, and he never really felt like he fit in with them.

but theres one time. he built a little robot for his mother - a very simple and crude thing, something he'd be ashamed of now. but it made her smile and she ruffled his hair. its his most treasured memory, and he hates it.

a second is the first time red called him starlight unironically (it was a bit of a joke before they became actual friends/partners, red called it him once by accident and he got So Mad that they kept doing it). they were still just, very loosely, friends at that point. he was still figuring out what to do with himself, so red took him out to the chao garden with them that morning and had him help out a little. at one point they remarked:

"i don't know if you'll get it right, starlight. but i hope you do."

E - Emotion - is your f/o open with their feelings or do they keep them close to their chest?

starline is one of those people that just bottle and bottle and bottle until they explode - usually by having a breakdown and crying. sometimes he lets stuff slip but he tries so hard to desperately hold onto his cool and calculated persona that it just makes him slip more.

#iloveyou.ans #starlight💫.rom #long post #i kno ive been v jokey w this ship but like. i love this guy a lot #i want to explore this stuff bcs while i enjoy him as a villain i geniunely kinda want him to get better. away from all the teens he #traumatized ofc #its okay kids you dont have to redeem the bad guy this time ill just make him fall in love w me itll be fine dw

[hazardworld]

Dustin's a Damn Good Ally (Original) Pt. 4

Chapter 4— Dungeons and Dragons and Dick mentors (oh my)

Ao3 Link

Originally Posted 1.1.23/Edited 9.2.23

Summary: Eddie chose this life. Now he's gotta live with the repercussions.

(Queer author saying queer is used both positive and negative here)

———

Eddie Munson was fucking awesome.

That was something all four boys could easily decide on the moment they found out what Hellfire Club was and joined their first session zero.

First of all, Will definitely had a crush, that was obvious, and they’d gossip later.

The rest of them all had gender envy, because holy shit, Eddie Munson was a badass with no qualms about himself, no shits to give when people were assholes, and by god, was he a killer DM.

So what if he had to go through senior year a few times? Being smart didn’t just mean getting good grades and doing assignments, Dustin knew Steve could tell you that one.

Eddie Munson was a fucking enigma, and Dustin Henderson wanted to know more.

It wasn’t until Dustin accidentally caught Eddie between classes, and watched him get shoved into his locker, getting called words Dustin only knew from his father, that he hesitated.

…was Eddie queer?

Of course, Dustin didn’t give two shits if he was, but…was he?

The punk and metal scenes (from what Dustin knew) were usually utilized by gays and straights alike, so while that could be a good point of reasoning, still, Eddie could just as easily be straight and be called those words for being in the scene.

He did love to flirt with Steve before and after Hellfire sessions, but Dustin couldn’t tell if it was platonic asshole friend flirting, or if Eddie had genuine interest (though Steve always seemed to get flustered, but that was a topic for later).

Right before Halloween, the Byers and El moved to California, which hurt like a bitch.

Not only did Dustin and Will lose their fun semi-weekly gossip sessions, but that meant an entire shift in the dynamic of the Super Six (Dustin had been calling them all that and it started to catch on).

First of all, Max hadn’t owned up to her bisexual polyamory dream yet. She broke up with Lucas, since even though he didn’t know, she felt like it was unfair to be able to date one and not the other.

Furthermore, Mike hated not being able to see his girlfriend every day anymore.

And lastly, they had lost their best fucking wizard ever.

Suspiciously, Eddie also looked pretty forlorn from the news, so one day a week or so later, Dustin, as he did these days, popped into the trailer to a begrudging Eddie, with an itch to ask questions.

"Eddie, why’re you upset over Will leaving?" Dustin plopped down on his couch unprompted, "You seemed so forlorn at our last session." Eddie’s brow furrowed as he closed the front door of the trailer.

"What? Henderson, you’re gonna have to be more specific."

"At our last session, you seemed a little sadder than normal with Will being gone. I don’t think anyone else noticed it, but I did." Eddie paused, and sighed, plopping down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Yeah, well…number one, I had no clue you were that good with body language Henderson, what the fuck, and two…" Eddie paused, obviously trying to think about something, "I’d become kinda…a mentor to him, so to speak." Dustin raised an eyebrow.

What could Eddie possibly be a mentor to Will about?

Obviously, of course, a DM mentor, but then why was Eddie being so secretive and specific about it?

What did Will do that was secretive and specific?

Oh!

So the assholes in the hall were, technically, right.

"You’re gay." Dustin really had to stop blurting that out at people, because Eddie’s face immediately went to shock, eyes blown wide, and a blush of embarrassment coated his cheeks.

"Henderson, how in the fuck did you know that?" Dustin shrugged.

"You could be a mentor for Will for a few things. I don’t think he’d outright go to you for painting or art advice, which meant either you helped him be a better DM, or you helped him with being gay, and you would’ve just said you were mentoring him in DM-ing, if you were." Dustin paused briefly, and Eddie only blinked, so he continued.

"Also, I heard people in the hall call you a…nasty things, and I got suspicious from there, so…" he shrugged again, indicating the end of his monologue. Eddie blinked again and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Jesus, Henderson, now I get why Harrington calls you the little shit genius kid." Eddie looked back up at him, a frown with his eyebrows raised, "Since Will trusted you I’m assuming we can keep this under wraps?" Dustin nodded, grinning.

"Absolutely. Your secret is safe with me, Eddie." Eddie gave him a soft smile, something Dustin hadn’t entirely seen during his usual school hours.

"Thanks, kid. Means a lot." Dustin returned the soft smile.

"I know."

Eddie was still equally intimidating to Dustin, to be fair, but for him, it was nice to know Eddie was as accepting as he was, even if Dustin himself was straight.

———

Dick mentors' just means Eddie was helping out Will with liking dick. I couldn't think of anything else that funny. Please don't take it out of context.

(Though, if Mike started dressing more like Eddie, Will wouldn't complain)

Also, 3 months after July is October, and assuming they start school in mid-ish August (according to current Indiana schools), that means Will and El were at Hawkins high for at least a month or two! Eddie met them! He might not remember, but he did meet them!

Chapter 3/6———Chapter 5/6

#dustin henderson #eddie munson #hinted steddie #dustin and eddie

[mshexley]

I think what’s very interesting about the defenders of the nazi magic game is that it’s a clear case of people being more concerned with being seen as a bad person than actually reflecting on why ppl view them that way and watching them argue with ppl on Tiktok has made that clear.

(putting a cut causes it’s long)

real shit I should go to school for sociology or psychology or something, this shit is fun to watch unfold

Because if they had just quietly played the game, they could’ve been quiet and wrong and wouldn’t have to be fighting for their lives. However, when people set the boundaries, the lines in the sand and said “hey I’m going to unfollow or unsub from anyone that streams the game” “hey, I’m gonna unfriend people who cross that line” and other variants, that’s when the pro-nazi wizard brigade truly starting their grandstanding.

Because being the type of person that others distance themselves from sounds like hell, especially in the landscape where the internet makes it easier to scrunitized. However, the response to justified scrunity is often to deflect.

One of the actual cons of this era of political correctness, is that when people like or dislike something, they don’t let it just be that. It has to be tied to some moral high ground to either justify your dislike or like of something.

This isn’t the case for everything obviously so here’s some examples for what I mean:

Koreaboos claim people are racist for not being liking Kpop or a specific group while also partaking in racist behavior themselves like harassing black Kpop fans or the very obvious example of them fetishizing Korean ppl.

The Boyfriends WebToon is also a good example because rather than leaving it at “oh I think it’s cringey” “oh it’s not my thing” they would have a moral high ground by claiming that the comic is fetishizing gay men because the author is a “woman” (the author is a gay trans man btw)

In more smaller instances, you can find this behavior in shipping wars. You’ll see a ship that’s being shat on for having a claimed “toxic dynamic” of some sort because simply saying you don’t like the ship doesn’t sway ppl’s opinions in your favor.

Back to the main topic, there is a similar thing happening with defenders of the game. Because despite the years of bigotry that Rowling has spewed and supported, despite the game having an ex-lead with an alt-right page that the company KNEW about already and that after his departure they felt is was too expensive to get rid of his inputs in the game…the real offense to these people…is that folks will stop liking them.

But rather than accept that, (which granted that’s rough but it’s a part of growth) they’d rather pretend that they are victims. No one held a gun to their head and told them to play the game. That was the bed they made but sitting in that shit is hard so they deflect.

“Well, I might have bought the game but LOOK I donated to trans charities. So that cancels it out.”

Except you could’ve done that with any game. Why this one? It’s not an own on anyone. Like it’s the equivalent of when conservatives were boycotting Starbucks…..by buying Starbucks.

Arguably even worse, are people who are going the “No you” approach where in response to people actually taking the time out of their day to educate folks about the history of Jewish caricatures and how goblins relate that, (something that don’t HAVE do to), people respond with by pretending that simply just isn’t the case. Literally ran across one comment that said “I just see goblins as goblins, if you see Jewish ppl then YOURE the one in the wrong”.

Except that when THIS

is in the game, it breaks that response into pieces. Many Jewish folk have pointed out that the item is a “shofar” often used for religious reasons. In Harry Potter, it’s a “war horn” that annoys witches and wizards.

“that’s just coincidence”

the year is interesting too. 1612 was the goblin rebellion in the game, I wonder what happened in the real world—

Hm. An infamous case of anti-Jewish bigotry in the country that would later become the deathbed of so many Jewish ppl during WW2.

so now at what point do these stop being coincidences? At what point do you just take the L?

Now people have more reasons to not associate with you and you’ll be left with a circlejerk of ignorance.

and it wouldn’t have even been that bad if y’all would’ve just shut the fuck up and read another book.

[uniformbravo]

time for the thing where i yell about gay wizards Even More than ever before (with my heart, soul, AND ass) get ready

let's gooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

---

[Simon] "Why all the wars? Why did they all start with the vampire raids?"

"The war with the dark things started there," she says. "That should be obvious. I mean, mages and vampires have never got on--we need Normals alive, and they need them dead. But invading Watford, that was an act of war. And it was the first real attack by the Humdrum, too."

ok. my brain is fresh just getting back into this so bear with me but like. it was established that the dragon was under some sort of spell or trance or something when the humdrum sent it to attack watford, right? idk if it's different bc the creatures it sends are like. Creatures. but vampires are just People, so is it maybe not the same for them? is the understanding in the magickal world that the vampires were Working with the humdrum, like he told them to attack and they were like u got it boss, or were they similarly under a spell

bc if it was the latter then doesn't it mean they're like. not Technically at fault. like the dragon

and if they were working with the humdrum, why have they literally never shown up again since then. or are we just missing context here. if there's a war against dark things, as penny says here, then maybe that's implying that vampires and other Funny Guys are doing other shit on the side, just not directly relevant to watford or any of our characters' povs atm

(or MAYBE they were under a spell during the attack and their continued part in the war is because they were blamed for something they actually had no control over??? i mean they ended up having a Lot of casualties that day, what with being burned to a crisp and all that. whatever the reason for the attack was, it had to have been either really worth it for the price, or not even their choice in the first place)

thirdly, does the humdrum actually attack people who aren't simon? there was a point earlier in the book where simon was like "maybe the mage is right and i should leave watford, then everyone else would be safer because the humdrum wouldn't be sending shit to attack the school" which VERY much implies that it only goes after simon specifically

so then like. why would it send a bunch of vampires to attack watford before simon was even old enough to attend 🤔 and going with my theory that it came into existence directly because of simon, it just makes even less sense bc its number 1 fixation during its entire existence is. simon. at least that's what i'm assuming

also, last thing, that bit about "we need normals alive, they need them dead" is another detail highlighting how out of the ordinary the attack was- if they always feed off of normies then Why attack watford

it's all just more clues pointing to there being way more to the vampire attack than just another Humdrum Incident

-

"You didn't hurt Baz."

"Maybe I did--he'd never admit it."

"Maybe it didn't hurt him," she says, "because he's already dead."

"Baz isn't dead."

"Well he's not alive."

"I....I think he is," I say. "He has magic. That's life."

👀 simon????

-

[Baz] When I come back, Bunce is gone. I can tell she's been sitting on my bed again--it smells like her. Like blood and chocolate and kitchen herbs. I'll snap at her about it tomorrow.

lol saving it for later

-

I need to go hunting in the Wood again; the rats are getting few and far between in the Catacombs, even though I try not to take the females.

It's a pain to hunt in the Wood. I have to do it during the day because the Mage brings the drawbridge up at dusk, and I can't Float like a butterfly over the moat every night like I did today; I don't have the magic.

bro get this guy some freakin ACCOMMODATIONS @ the mage i thought ur whole thing was diversifying and opening up the school to anyone w magic u ran ur mouth now WHERE'S ur money

not to get all up in arms abt fantasy boarding school but this guy shouldn't have to be scrounging around for rats down in the Cat of Combs to get by no matter HOW goth he is smH

-

At first it was as if Snow was giving magic to me. Sending it to me. But then the magic was just there. It was mine, in that moment, everything that was his.

All right. I have to stop thinking about it like this. Like it was a gift. Snow would never have opened himself up to me if there hadn't been a dragon overhead....

ehehehehe getting carried away there :3c

I wonder if I could take the magic from him if I tried, but the thought turns my stomach.

Nice nice nice nice love it love this love that for u baz sweetie ur doing amazing

-

"Baz?"

"What." I sit on my own bed, on top of the covers.

"I....can you come here?"

"No."

"I can come over there, then."

I cross my legs and arms. "You may not."

Snow huffs, exasperated. Good, I think.

baz sticks his tongue out at simon in the dark when he can't see

(simon does the same thing, forgetting that baz can see-)

-

"You can't sit on my bed," I say as he sits on my bed. "And neither can Bunce. My bed reeks of intensity and brownies."

"Here," he says, holding out his hand.

"What do you want from me, Snow?"

"Nothing," he says. And he means it, the actual bastard.

LOL LMAO baz freaking out that none of his psychic attacks are working as simon continues to nonchalantly invade his personal space, none the wiser to the effects of his own unintentional psychic attacks,

-

"Are you going to let me do it again?"

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter if it was a fluke!"

Snow's still sitting on my bed. "All right," he says, "Maybe."

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe I'd do it again," he says.

uououghguough 👀 👀 👀

(also the detail "he's STILL sitting on my bed," kfkdjglsdjdkgjdk lmaooooooo)

[...] "What if I turned it against you?" [...] "What if I took your magic, cast it against you, and settled Baz versus Simon, once and for all."

(he said s-)

Snow's mouth is hanging slightly open. His tongue shines black in the dark. "Why are you such a villain?" He sounds disgusted. "Why have you already thought of that?"

"I thought of it when I was still rhyming at the dragon," I say. "Didn't you?"

"No."

"This is why I'm going to beat you," I say.

GFKGJDOJFKDJGKD BAZ

he had to think the villainous thoughts first, to make room for all the gay thoughts later,

"We're on a truce," Snow says.

"I can still think antagonistically. I'm thinking violent thoughts at you constantly."

LOL

He grabs my hand. I want to pull it away, but I don't want to look scared--and also I don't want to pull it away. Bloody Snow. I'm thinking violent thoughts at him right now.

look dude with how twisted up ur thoughts of love and hatred for him are, expressing violence towards him is Basically a confession at this point

-

the way baz is like, trying to defend himself by spitting Violence and Aggression at simon like he usually does, only to be met with simon just. calmly advancing, sitting on his bed, taking his hand, is like. so beautiful. so fucking good. baz is an angry hissing spitting cat and simon is slowly reaching his hand out to pet him and Then (what happens next will warm ur heart)

-

Snow licks his bottom lip and closes his eyes halfway. Is this how he looked this afternoon? Crowley.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO if simon had stood in front of baz instead of behind him that dragon woulda crushed the entire school into rubble

I feel his magic.

At first it's a buzz in my fingertips, then a rush of static up my arm. I try not to squirm.

"Okay?" he asks. His voice is soft.

🥺🥺🥺

HIS VOICE IS SOFT AHGUGGHAUGHG STOP

-

The static in my arm settles into a heavy thrum, like electrical sparks catching into flames. The discomfort goes away, even though the licking, flaming feeling gets stronger. This I know what to do with: This is fire.

👀 HAS NO IDEA HOW TO INTERPRET THIS BUT KNOWS IT MEANS FUCKING SOMETHING HRUGAGHUG ARE U KIDDING MEEEEEEEEEEE

"Still okay?" he asks.

"Grand," I say.

HE KEEPS CHECKING IN IM KIND OF SOBBING????????

"What does that mean--does that mean you could use it?"

I laugh, and it comes out more good-natured than I mean it to. "Snow. I think I could cast a sonnet right now."

"Show me," he says.

SCREAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHY DOES THAT HIT WHY IS THAT SO GOOD WHY AMD I SCREAMINGGGGGGG AAAAAAAAAAAAA

-

I speak clearly: "Twinkle, twinkle little star!"

By the time I get to the end of the next phrase, the room around us is gone, and the stars feel close enough to touch.

"Up above the world so high!"

Simon grabs my other hand, and my chest opens wider.

my face is in my hands this is so much this is SO MUCH THEY ARE IN THE STARS,,,, THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS,,,.,, FELLAS,,.,., CAN I GET A

-

"Is it too much?"

"No. It's like you completed the circuit," I say, gripping his other hand. "I feel kind of drunk, though."

"Drunk on power?" he asks.

I giggle. "Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing."

"Do you want me to pull back?"

"No. I want to look at the stars."

"I'm pulling back," he says.

LET HIM LOOK AT THE STARS

-

Now we're just sitting on my bed, holding hands. Simon Snow and I. I can't look at his eyes, so I stare at his cross.

Just Two Bros Sitting On The Bed Holding Hands After Visiting The Stars Together, What's Better Than This

-

He looks uncharacteristically thoughtful. I wonder if he's forgotten that he's holding my hands. Or if he's forgotten what it means to hold hands. Or if he's forgotten who I am entirely.

I think again about pulling my hands away--but Snow could light fires in my palms at this point, and I wouldn't pull away. It feels like he has.

WE'RE LOSING HIM ALERT ALERT WE ARE LOSING HIM FAST

"Baz," he says, and it's not unprecedented for him to say my name, but I know he avoids it.

There It Is

He Avoids It

"This is stupid. If we're going to be working together, you can't keep pretending that I don't know."

"Don't know what," I say, yanking my hands back.

-

"Get off my bed."

Snow stands up, but doesn't stand down. "I know. I've known since our fifth year. How're we supposed to help you if you're still keeping all these secrets? Like, why did you start school late this term? And what happened to you? And why are you limping?"

"That's none of your business," I hiss. "None of it."

fuck. fuck every time simon brings that up baz clams right the fuck up and i just. im dying to get to a point where baz CAN tell him like. is he even gonna TELL him or is simon just gonna like. Find Out. i want it so fuckin bad this is like. benchmark how much baz trusts simon it's gotta keep coming up and EVENTUALLY.......

-

"We're supposed to find out who sent blood-sucking vampires to kill your mother, and you are a blood-sucking vampire. You don't think that's relevant?"

As if I can just admit that. Out loud. On the record. As if every other magician wouldn't gladly light me up if they knew it to be true.

:(((((((((

As if Snow himself hasn't been trying to expose me every day for seven years.

I clamp my jaw shut.

:(((((((((

JUST!!!!!! this is an assumption on my part but the idea that he DOES want to be able to trust simon with that information, in another universe, on another timeline, where allowing that info to be exposed wouldn't be a direct threat to his life LIKE. does simon even realize.

like im sure that was the point when he was trying to expose him as an enemy, but now that they're trying to be on the same side, temporarily, does simon even realize the implications of what he's asking baz to do.

this is just the "i could steal your magic" thing all over again, really. the "i thought of it immediately, didn't you?" baz's outlook on this entire situation, the baz vs simon situation, is through a lens of self-preservation, survival, taking any chance he can get to get the upper hand bc he knows he'll lose in the long run

so while simon's sitting here like "this is my current goal, we need to cooperate to make it happen, baz is just being stubborn because he sucks and hates me" whereas baz is like "this truce isn't gonna last forever, thinking about the long run the stupidest thing i could do right now is openly admit to the thing he's been maliciously trying to pry out of me for years"

it's just!!! kinda sad!!!!

and also. thinking about it as a Gay thing. u know, the "hiding an enormous part of ur identity from a community that would immediately turn against you if they knew" metaphor. baz really just straight up has No place he is truly accepted for all parts of him. like obvs there's the vampire thing everywhere except for home, where it's known, but then he said earlier that his dad doesn't accept his sexuality so even though he's technically safe at home, he's still not Accepted as he is

(and i'm pretty sure his aunt fiona knows and accepts that he's gay, but she fucking hates simon for war-related reasons SO LIKE)

makes me sad :(

i also wanna quickly touch upon smth else tho, which is simon's point about how honesty and openness between them will help with their search; baz is currently the only one who holds all the pieces to the puzzle so far; along with everything the three of them have discussed together, he also has the memories of the day of the attack, as well as what happened to him at the beginning of the school year.

bc that's another piece of it, i think; his kidnapping has everything to do with what happened with the vampire attack, probably the same person/group who orchestrated the attack was behind the kidnapping too, bc like. ok

the point of the attack was to turn baz & natasha into vampires, right, and that worked. baz is a vampire, and it's a Super heavily guarded secret- but obviously whoever ordered the kidnapping knew about it, or else the numpties wouldn't have thought to put him in a coffin or give him blood (and obvs they had numpties do it to conceal their own identity but like we already knew that)

ALSO while im talking abt it another theory to add onto that, u know what was Conveniently happening at the beginning of the school year at the time of The Numpting?? the whole thing w the Veil Lifting and all those ghosts comin thru w juicy info for me & u???

penny Literally said at one point that it used to be a Thing for people to get kidnapped or murdered before the veil lifting so they couldn't be told Crucial info abt like conspiracies and crimes n stuff SO LIKE. GUESS WHO SHOWED UP W CRUCIAL INFO ABT CONSPIRACIES AND CRIMES N STUFF

in conclusion baz was kidnapped to keep his mom from spilling the beans abt her murder by the people who murdered her and the WHOLE reason i bring this all up is bc baz is the Only One who has all the info necessary to make these connections but obvs he's not about to tell simon or penny about it, which potentially Does hinder the effort

so my point is to properly solve the mystery and get to the bottom of the whole conspiracy baz is gonna have to open up to them eventually and i am SUPER looking forward to it, PLEASE crack this guy open like a walnut i am Ready 2 Witness It my opera glasses are OUT

-

[Simon] I have to admit, my first thought is that Agatha misses me. That she wants to get back together.

I'll say yes, of course. I won't even make her ask. We can go right back to how we were.

PLEASE not this not ur pathetic ass inventing a situation that glosses over agatha's issues and the reason she broke up w u in the first place

Maybe I'll even tell her what's going on with Baz--maybe she can help.

[...]

This has all been such shit. Ignoring each other. Sitting apart. Acting like enemies when all we've ever been is friends.

ok but this is making me sad :( i'd REALLY love to see simon get over the breakup and become friends with agatha again bc they're not right for each other romantically but as friends they would be so cute ;w; and also it just makes me sad when years long friendships are broken in general :(((

-

But also, she's just not that social. Especially at school. She used to be really involved in dance, before Watford, and she's still all caught up in horses, and I think she's closer to her summer Normal friends than anybody here.

[...]

I don't think Agatha cares that much about magic, full stop. The last time we talked about the future, she was thinking about becoming a veterinarian.

bro how did it only hit me Just Now agatha is a HORSE GIRL she's out here begging her daddy not to get rid of the ornery stallion they got saddled with last week, she can tame him if he just gives her some time, she can teach him to LOVE

but jokes aside SEE this is what i mean agatha has her whole entire Other shit going on offscreen and it's just so. she is Neat

-

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas lately. I always spend it with the Wellbeloves. I have since I first came to Watford.

[...]

It's how Agatha and I got to be friends. [...]

They're all good to me, Helen included. Agatha's mum gives me nice clothes for Christmas, and her dad talks to me about my future like I'm not going to die in a ball of fire.

I just really like them. And I like Christmas. And I've been thinking about how weird it's going to be to sit around the dinner table, talking to Agatha's parents, knowing that we're broke up.

🥺

(also that ball of fire line simon PLEASE)

-

"My dad wants you to know that of course you're still welcome at our house for Christmas," Agatha says.

"Oh," I say. "Good."

"But I think we both know how uncomfortable that would be," she goes on. [...]

"Right," I say. It would be uncomfortable, I guess.

"It would ruin Christmas," she says.

[...]

"Right," I say instead.

"So I told him that you were probably going to stay with the Bunces."

Agatha knows I can't stay with the Bunces. Penelope's mum can only take about two or three days of me before she starts treating me like a Great Dane who can't help knocking things over with its tail.

[...]

"Right," I say to Agatha. "Okay."

She looks at the floor. "I'm sure my parents will still send gifts."

"I'll send them a card."

"That would be nice," she says. "Thank you."

GENUINELY SO FUCKING SAD OVER THIS?????

like ok agatha's not perfect & i know i've generally been in her corner but this is straight up like. a mean thing to do gjdkfjslgksdjkdf

i mean it's one thing not wanting ur ex to come over for christmas, completely understand that, but also. he's been coming over since before they were dating, since his first YEAR at watford, AND she knows he has literally nowhere else to go so he's just like. gonna be alone for christmas i guess????

IDK LIKE I SAID I GET WHY SHE'S DOING IT BUT ALSO I AM SAD FOR SIMON he was looking forward to it he didn't even consider that he might not still be going this year bc it's such a staple for him, like it's not just a breakup he legit considers the wellbeloves as family, or something close to it, and now he's being cut off from that and im just :((((((((((((

-

I roll my eyes. He probably thinks pixies are a lesser species. Half-sentient, like gnomes and Internet trolls.

*SPITS DRINK* WHAT NOW?????????? HUH??????????????????? U WANNA RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN???????????????????????????????? HELLO??????????????????????

"It's like being a fairy named Mary," he goes on.

"Or a vampire named Gampire," I say.

"Gampire isn't even a proper name, Snow. You're terrible at this game."

GAMPIRE SIMON. GAMPIRE

-

He still won't talk to us outside of the room.

Baz says it would confuse his minions to see him consorting with the enemy. He actually called them that--"my minions." Maybe he was taking the piss....

My Minions (affectionate)

(honestly after what he said abt internet trolls i wouldn't put it fucking past this universe to have Canonical Minions)

I can't always tell when Baz is mocking me. He's got a cruel mouth. It looks like he's sneering even when he's happy about something.

another one for the autistic simon headcanon, boys

Actually, I don't know if he ever is happy. It's like he's got two emotions--pissed off and sadistically amused.

(And plotting, is that an emotion? If so, three.)

SIMON PLEASE I CAN'T AKGJAGJSLDGDS

-

Plus Penny doesn't want Baz to know that her family might be on the outs with the Mage. (Even though Baz'd probably sympathize.)

Even Though He'd Sympathize

(let them be allies! stop having them be enemies!)

Penny keeps reminding me that Baz is still my enemy. That when the truce ends, he could use everything he's learned against me.

But I'm not sure I'm the one who needs reminding. Half the time we're together, I'm just sitting on my bed reading while Penelope and Baz are comparing their Top 10 favourite spells of the 1800s or debating the magickal worth of Hamlet versus Macbeth.

GOD they're so FUCKING CUTE

The other day, he walked her over to the Cloisters on his way to the Catacombs. When he came back, he reported that there weren't any clues about how she gets into Mummers House. The next day, she told me he didn't acknowledge at all that he was on his way to suck blood out of rodents.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOO literally besties. literally Companions

"You going my way?" she says to him now, from the doorway.

"No, I'm in for the night," he says.

So fucking weird.

LOL simon bluescreens: a saga

-

I'm getting my pyjamas together when he speaks up:

"So what's your plan next week? For the holidays?"

BROOOOOOOOOO HE SAID IT

-

"Snow," he says.

"What."

"You should come to Hampshire."

I stop and look at him. "What? Why?"

HE DEADASS INVITED HIM OVER FOR CHRISTMAS BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IM OPEN MOUTH SCREAMINGGGGGGGGG

Baz clears his throat and folds his arms, lifting his chin to emphasize how much he looks down on me.

he's posturing dude he's trying to cover up how much he's screaming on the inside asking you this question show some respect

-

"You're suggesting I go home with you."

"Yes."

"For Christmas."

"Yes."

"With your family."

Baz rolls his eyes. "Well it's not like you have any family of your own."

"You're mad." I move again towards the bathroom.

"How is it mad?" he demands. "I could use your help, and there's nothing here for you--you'd think you'd appreciate the company."

TEN REASONS WHY SIMON SNOW WOULD BE AN FUCKING IDIOT TO REFUSE MY GENEROUS CHRISTMAS INVITATION:

-

"I can't stay in your house. Are you kidding me?"

"Snow, we've lived in the same room for seven years. How can you have a problem with this?"

THE DESPERATION..... THE JUMPS IN LOGIC...... BAZ PLEASE YOURE INSANE

-

"She's sent his Men away again," Penny says. "Premal says the Mage himself is coming to the house next time."

"Then I should be there," I say. "He'd never hurt her in front of me."

Penny stops in her tracks. "Simon. Do you really think the Mage would hurt my mother at all?"

I stop, too. "No. Of course he wouldn't."

O O F

😬

-

"Tell the Mage you're staying here for Christmas," she says. "He'll want to spend it with you."

That makes me laugh.

"What?" Penny asks.

"Can you imagine?" I say. "Christmas with the Mage?"

[...] "Think of the gifts," I say, laughing. "He'd probably wrap up a curse for me just to see if I could break it."

"Blindfold you, drop you in the Hell of the Wood, and tell you to come home with dinner."

"Ha!" I grin. "Just like in our third year."

the fact that they're joking that if the mage gave simon christmas gifts they'd just be more of the trials and tribulations he's been putting on him since he was like 12?????? HELLO???????

not to read too much into it but ZOOMS IN the way that simon's relationship w the mage is such that to imagine spending a holiday usually reserved for friends and family with him is SO ABSURD he can't even take it seriously, like the mage falls so far out of the categories of friend or family, their relationship is in no way sentimental but rather Strictly Business i.e. the mage setting Tasks for simon to complete like a fuckin rat in a maze, this whole excerpt just speaks volumes about their dynamic in contrast to the feelings simon has expressed on the matter in the past, in this essay i will

-

He closes the lid of his trunk and snaps the latches. Then he looks at me, frowning, and decides something. I'm familiar with that look. I put my hand over the hilt of my sword.

LOL LMAOOOO GOD

"Snow....," he says.

"What."

"I feel like I should tell you something. In the interest of our truce."

I look over at him, waiting.

"That day you saw Wellbelove and me in the Wood..."

need to officially document that the second i read this line i shoved my face into my pillow and Had Emotions for a second

-

I open my eyes. "You weren't trying to pull my girlfriend?"

"No."

"Sod off," I say. "You've been trying to get between me and Agatha since the day she chose me over you."

"She never chose you over me."

"Get over yourself, Baz.

He looks pained; that's a new one. "No," he goes on. "What I'm saying is--I've never been an option for Wellbelove."

SCREAMS SCREAMS WAILS AND SCREAMS HELLO HELLOOOOOOO??????????? IS HE LITERALLY TRYING TO COME OUT TO SIMON RN HELP HELLO PLEASE???????????? WHAT ELSE COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN BY THIS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

-

"She interrupted me," he says. "That day in the Wood."

I ignore him.

"She interrupted my dinner. She saw me. I was asking her not to tell anyone."

OUGUGHGHUHOUGHG ???!?!!?!!!?!???!?!?!?! HE'S BEING VAGUE ABOUT IT BUT STILL GOD THIS IS SO CLOSE THIS IS LIKE TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF IT HES TRYING SO DAMN HARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"in the interest of our truce" MY ASS u are doing this for ur WHOLE ASS SELF "hmm what can i do to maybe make snow hate me a little less Oh I Know" FJGOFUGJFJGJ THOUGHT PROCESS EXPOSED

"And you had to hold her hands for that?"

"I only did that bit to piss you off. I knew you were watching."

"Well, it worked," I say.

popped him out of existence like an angry little pimple

"You're not listening." He's looking very pained now. "I'm not ever going to come between you and Wellbelove. I was always just trying to piss you off."

it's 3 am and i am kicking my legs and squealing and going like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am PROCESSING FUCK

maybe not DIRECTLY coming out but at LEAST trying to communicate that he isn't interested in agatha and wasn't trying to ruin simons fucking love life (even tho we all know secretly he was)

but why is he looking so pained if he's NOT trying and failing to communicate that hes gay. maybe it's just that he's being genuine for probably the first time ever on purpose and it's going right the fuck over simon's head and making him even MORE pissed at him and gkagjsodgsdgkd

"Are you saying you flirted with Agatha just to hurt me?"

"Yes."

"You never cared about her?"

"No."

I grit my teeth. "And you think I want to hear that?"

"Well, obviously. Now you can make up with her and have the best Christmas ever."

WAS THAT THE REASON. HE FELT BAD THAT HIS MEDDLING CAUSED SIMON TO BE ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS AND HIS ONE ATTEMPT TO MAKE UP FOR IT BY INVITING SIMON OVER FAILED SO NOW HES LIKE I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO GET THEM BACK TOGETHER BC HE ASSUMES THE REASON THEYVE BROKEN UP IS BECAUSE OF THAT DAY IN THE WOOD

he's GENUINELY trying to do simon a solid even tho it means they might get back together which he doesn't want to see but he feels he owes it to him especially with the truce at play I?????????!!!!!!?!?!!!??????!!!!

im actually gonna SCREAM

"You're such an arse!" I say, jumping to my feet and charging at him.

"Anathema!" he shouts, and I hear him, but I almost plant my fist in his jaw anyway.

INVOKING THE PROTECTION OF ANATHEMA IN THE FACE OF IMMINENT DISASTER it will never get old it will NEVER not be so fucking good

imagine at some point in the future they're not even in their room but they start fighting and one of them yells ANATHEMA out of habit

Anathema Cant Save U Now Bitch *gives the wedgie of a lifetime*

-

"She was carrying around your bloody handkerchief, that whole time you were gone. Since last year."

"What handkerchief?"

I go to the drawer where the handkerchief is shoved in

KEEPS IT IN HIS DRAWER,

with my wand and a few other things, then I wave it in his face. "This one."

Baz pulls the fabric out of my hand, and I pull it right back because I don't want him to have it. I don't want him to have anything right now.

LMFAO NOT THE DOUBLE SNATCH

NOT THE "FUCK YOU UNPULLS YOUR HANDKERCHIEF" REVERSAL

"Look," he says. "I'll stop. I'll leave Wellbelove alone from now on. She doesn't matter to me."

"That makes it worse!'

"Then I won't stop!" he says, like he's the one who should be angry. "Is that better? I'll damned well marry her, and we'll have the best-looking kids in the history of magic, and we'll name them all Simon just to get under your skin."

LOL LOL LOL LMAO LOL LMAO LMAO BAZ LMFAO BAZ SCREAMS

"Just go!" I shout. "Seriously. If I have to look at you anymore, I won't even care about the Anathema. If I get kicked out of Watford, at least I'll finally be done with you!"

oh SHIT he's not fuckign playing around baz u gotta get outta there he's gonna kill u in real life hgjfugjfugkdjgkdf

absolutely tragic. he tried so hard to make peace HE TRIED TO MAKE AMENDS IN THE NAME OF THEIR TRUCE and all he did was make things fucking worse AND THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS NO LESS

genuinely tho poor baz :( legit tried to make an effort and it blew up in his face

i mean it IS his fucking fault but STILL

it reminds me of before, back towards the beginning of the book, when simon was recounting the chimera incident and talked about how baz was shouting at him and "accidentally" told him what using magic felt like to him, when in reality he was offering genuine advice to help him in a dire situation

this again is an example of miscommunication as a result of their years long rivalry, because simon is basically incapable of registering anything other than antagonism on baz's part, he literally just always assumes the worst of him. so when baz Actually goes out of his way to be helpful or anywhere within the realm of amicable his intentions just fly right the fuck over simon's head because anything baz does gets put thru a Bad Faith filter before it even reaches simon's critical thinking center and he just goes Yeah Right Asshole every time

and this time especially went south bc simon is still very much hurting over the breakup and still 1000% blames baz so of Course when baz says shit like "yea no idgaf about agatha i was just trying to piss u off" simon's not gonna hear "oh baz isn't actually a romantic rival so there's no threat to mine and agatha's relationship" he's gonna be like "SO U RUINED MY RELATIONSHIP FOR NO FUCKING REASON U WEREN'T EVEN TRYING TO STEAL MY GIRLFRIEND U LITERALLY JUST WANTED TO SEE ME MISERABLE 😡😡😡"

which TBF is all literally true LMAO

so basically baz's plan to save simon's christmas fucking backfired to hell and back which is why he finally snaps and gets pissed at the end, because he can't fucking do anything right and now simon's For Real mad at him and he doesn't even have a date to the prom

-

[Baz] I was trying to do Snow a favour.

A favour that doesn't serve my interests at all--at all.

yeah??????????????? Yeah????????????????? Are U Sure About That

I bloody well should marry Wellbelove. My father would love it.

Marry her. Give her the keys to whatever she wants keys to. Then find a thousand men who look exactly like Simon bloody Snow and break each of their hearts a different way.

LOLLLLLLLL Bring In The Twink Parade Tell Them All That They Bombed The Modeling Audition And They're Banned From Their Local Sephoras

-

I didn't expect to mend any fences with all this...co-operating. I didn't expect to convince or convert Snow. But I thought we were making progress.

SOBBING AND WAILING

Like, maybe when this was all over, he and I would still be standing on either side of the trench, but we wouldn't be spitting at each other. We wouldn't be spoiling for the fight.

I know Simon and I will always be enemies....

But I thought maybe we'd get to a point where we didn't want to be.

U CANT DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE WHAT DO U MEANNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭

ANY time baz uses simon's 1st name gets me in my fuckin heart BUT THIS ONE HURTS SO BAD AAAAAAAAAAAAA "i know simon and i will always be enemies" SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AND WHIMPERING UAUAAAHGHG

the way he only does this shit when he's being Genuine and Unguarded abt his feelings for simon i. I!!!!!! i can't do it bro i cant take this anymore im literally gonna snap like a dry ass twig this is a TARGETED ATTACK,,,, ON MY FEELINGS,

he wants it so bad he wants simon so bad but he has to be Realistic he can't even hope for a future in which they're together he's SETTLING for this fantasy in which maybe, just maybe they can get to a point that they're not right at each other's throats, that he isn't completely despised by the one person he cares about most- he's hoping for the bare minimum, not even a happy ending but just the bare minimum of mutual reluctance to fight- and he can't even have THAT

the line between "lol rip baz" and "SOBBING AND WHEEZING LET HIM BE HAPPY" is a FINE ONE and all it takes is one funny lil pov switch and some vulnerability to make me pop like a go-gurt getting stomped into the playground

MAKE-A ME SAD :((((

---

alright so i LIED about catching up to where i was this time gjgksdjfkjdg BUT IN MY DEFENSE THEY WERE BEING SO SOFT AND GAY,,, AND THEN THEY THREW MY HEART AGAINST THE WALL LIKE A WET PAPER TOWEL,,,,, HOW WAS I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY SHIT OVER THAT

so correction: NEXT TIME we might catch up to where i left off gjdfkjskdgsdfndgjdfj (did you see it??? the inclusion of the word "might", implying the possibility that we won't actually catch up next time,)

i make no promises c ya ✌️

#retag later #ss blogging #u know what i get a free pass on tag talking in these posts i already said So Much in the liveblog i'm all worded out #words out of stock. check back tomorrow]

[shanastoryteller]

(2) This is an example of a line from Rotten Work that only works in English: “He’s my uncle,” Jin Ling points out incredulously. “Of course he’s part of the main family.” If you use more precise familial terms, the line becomes, "He's my [mother's brother], of course he's part of [my father's family]," which doesn't actually make any sense. By disregarding things like that, it feels like you're trying to divorce the story from its CN cultural origins, or to say that they're not important.

*sighs*

part 1 didn't come through, so this is all i have to go on

but here's another example of things that it'd be real neat of you guys to send me off anon

for this example, you're really divorcing this out of the context of the story it takes place in.

the council and high level people know that wwx has been added to the register already because jin ling did it in ch 1, and references it several times later. now, this didn't get explicitly revealed until the last chapter, but it hinted at multiple times. no one else assumes jin ling has done this. including wwx

but wwx is very explicitly part of the jin clan in this story. he lives in jin tower. he wears jin gold. he advises jin ling about everything from how the library should be organized to who his first disciple should be. he attends council meetings with him ffs

jiang cheng doesn't do that. jiang cheng isn't even allowed to go anywhere outside of the main hall unescorted

because he's not a member of the jin clan

if what i was saying here was that obviously a mother's brother belongs to the father's family, wouldn't that then extend to jiang cheng too? except it doesn't. because obviously i'm not saying that

in this story, wwx is a member of the jin clan. established. the "reveal" here is that jl had added him to the family registry, just like he had li mianmian when he made her his heir, and therefore brought him into the main family

so the conversation here, in the context of the story and not just as a sound bite you've taken from it, is actually jin ling saying that since his mother's brother whom he loves and values has joined his father's family/clan of course jin ling would elevate his status to that of his main family

so in chinese, that line would still make sense

he's my mother's brother. he is close to me. now that he's apart of my clan/family, of course i've elevated his status to reflect that closeness

as far as divorcing things from their origins, again, that's still a question of translation. when you translate something, you're not just translating words, but also culture. whether you try to preserve the culture to bring the audience closer to it, or whether you translate it to make it more understandable in terms of your audience's culture, is a preference

here's an example that's obviously very small and low stakes, but i think is an easy way to explain this:

in the original version of the animated movie inside out, a little girl is grossed out about being forced to eat broccoli, a food that children in america stereotypically find gross. it's a narrative shortcut because the movie doesn't have to waste time telling you the girl doesn't like the food she's eating, or why she doesn't like it, and the audience isn't going to assume it's because she's being stubborn for stubbornness's sake or that she's allergic to it or anything like that. they understand immediately that she doesn't want to eat it because it's a food that children find gross

in the japanese version, the broccoli was replaced by bell peppers

this is because broccoli is not widely understood to be a food that many people find gross in japan, and bell peppers are

if they wanted to keep the original broccoli in, and they wanted the viewers to understand the original context it was being used in, they'd have to first establish that broccoli is a food that children in america are widely known not to like and it's common for them to refuse to eat it. the narrative shortcut that the film used disappears

so instead of keeping it in and adding exposition to explain it's significance and function, they switched it out for something else that would convey the same meaning to the audiences it was intended for, even though that thing would not have the same meaning for the audience that it was originally intended for

they "translated" broccoli to bell peppers

when it comes to things like real people and/or religious or culturally significant works, i think there's a lot more value in preserving the original intention and explaining the original culture as much as possible though translation. when this happens, translation has to work twice as hard, to both convey understanding and to educate

with things like modern fiction stories, especially ones featuring things like gay sword wizards, i think there's less of responsibility to do that, and it becomes a lot more acceptable to turn a broccoli into a bell pepper, because the purpose of the media itself is entertainment, not education, although of course that's not an excuse to ignore the stories origins

then, even further down, we've got fanfiction of the translated entertainment media written in the translated language for an audience of people who speak the translated language rather than original, who have all consumed the original work and have some sort of understanding of the country and culture it came from that they got from at least the original work if nothing else

not all things are created equal, and not all things have the same "responsibility" to explain the meaning of broccoli rather than just turning it into a bell pepper

#jin ling decided wwx was going to be a part of his clan before he was even awake #you don't belong anywere??? bitch you're a jin now #a high ranking jin! #and you're going to like it! #asks #anon #this is your grandma talking

[thesebookishdelights]

ANY WAY THE WIND BLOWS: Simon Snow trilogy wrapped! (review)

Hi, there! It took me a while to finish this post, as I could talk about it for... a long time (not necessarily a good thing), but I got it! I like praise, so if anyone wants to tell me I did a good job... Also, I might edit this post later on. I don’t remember anything else I’d like to add, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I did after posting. My brain does not obey me. Anyways, off to it! By the way, I won’t give this book a real rating.

While this is a review on Any Way the Wind Blows, I intend on analysing some points of the overall series too. The book starts where Wayward Son left off, the end of the road trip, Simon and Baz having problems in their relationship, Penelope helping Shepard with his curse... and the whole situation of the NowNext vampires. Rainbow Rowell only seems to remember the first part. That leaves us with the second book of the series ignored almost completely, with the exception of Simon and Baz’s feelings as well as Shepard’s existence.

Don’t get me wrong, aspects of the book are mentioned, but never in a truly important way. Lamb, the Vampire King, is mentioned by Simon, but only focusing on his and Baz’s relationship, never about the fact that there are a bunch of vampires (supposedly ‘evil’) in the U.S. but I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? I could count on one hand the times the NowNext vampires were mentioned (like, literally, this isn’t an exaggeration, I looked up ‘NowNext’ on the e-book and only got five results), all of them either being one of them considering telling someone else about it, then not following through with it, or dismissing it as a concern for Lamb. Which makes the plot of Wayward Son completely useless for the trilogy. Now, that wouldn’t matter as much if everything else had been properly developed, but we definitely can’t say that.

We are introduced to a brand new, poorly developed villain, Smith-Smith Richards, whose character arc is as ridiculous as his name. He’s one of the fake Chosen Ones that started appearing after the events of Carry On (and the only one to be mentioned and/or defeated, for that matter). It becomes clear that presenting as Simon Snow-ish is part of his brand, especially when Baz describes him as looking like the Netflix adaptation version of Simon, and that he was raised and guided by his uncle, who’s just... there. I don’t think it would’ve been hard to make him manipulating Smith-Smith into believing he’s the prophetic savior of the Magickal World, which would not only make both of their characters more interesting, but it could also serve as a parallel of Simon’s relationship with the Mage. Richards also has some special powers such as increasing a mage’s magic for a limited amount of time, but taking it away afterwards, as well as making someone immune from spells. It’s worth saying those aren’t skills that are usual in the Magickal World, or else there wouldn’t be so much confusion and shock from people (specially Baz and Penny, who would definitely have heard of something like this before), but we get no explanation on why or how Richard has them.

Then, we have the Salisbury’s. We, as readers, already know Lucy and Davy are Simon’s parents, making Ruth his grandmother. It’s noticeable that Rowell builds up to that discovery, by making Simon get along with Ruth instantly, him thinking about Lucy a lot etc. It makes us excited to read the part where they actually figure it out, to know how Simon would deal with that, him dealing with the fact that he’s the Mage’s son and the fact that, technically, he killed his father. I suppose that’s the point, but actually getting to that part was incredibly underwhelming. The way they discovered about Simon—being able to lift a family sword—hadn’t been mentioned or hinted at before. One would’ve expected Simon, who’s particularly interested in swords as it’s mentioned many times throughout the series, to notice a freaking Excalibur at the Salisbury’s place before. 

And speaking of noticing things: when it’s finally revealed that Simon is Lucy’s son and the Mage’s heir, Baz pointed out the uncanny similarities between his boyfriend and the deceased Watford principal. “Those narrow eyes. That tilt of his head. I thought... I thought he’d learned it. Was imitating it.” + “Merlin, Simon, you even look like him.”  (Any Way the Wind Blows, chapter 86) Simon was the Mage’s protégé for years and I assume the Magickal authorities knew that he was the one to inherit all of his money and personal belongings, but no one, in the whole British Magickal community, thought about them being related? I refuse to believe there were no conspiracy theorist teachers at Watford or that Mitali or even the Pitch’s alongside everyone who was against the Mage didn’t at least check to know if there was something behind those characteristics. Baz literally said (chapter 88), “I think it’s undeniable. I’d cast ‘Flesh and blood’ on them, but it would bounce right off of Snow (...)”, so there is a spell for that. Plus, we didn’t even have one whole chapter of Simon dealing with this information! The chapters (no more than five, out of ninety-one) were divided between Simon, Baz and Lady Ruth’s POVs. He’s the main character, so one would think he’d get more development.

Another point that felt rushed was the romance. While Simon and Baz’s relationship wasn’t, as it’s been a topic Rowell has explored for three books (we’re not counting Fangirl here, as their ‘participation’ on it was minor and their personalities weren’t as consistent as in the trilogy. Not that it is that consistent there), the others just felt like she wanted everyone to finish the trilogy with a pair. I’ll start with Shepard and Penny. There were fans who liked them together before Any Way the Wind Blows, but it wasn’t hinted at—it was more like a fandom thing. I personally like them as a couple, but it could have had development and, maybe, foreshadowing in Wayward Son. I mean, they did fight monsters during a huge part of a road trip together.

The next one I’ll talk about is Agatha and Niamh. I love them, don’t get me wrong. Actually, it’s precisely because I love them that I wish they’d gotten a better treatment. Niamh wasn’t introduced before Any Way the Wind Blows. I get why she wasn’t introduced in Carry On—it was interesting to see a character who wasn’t caught up in Simon and Baz’s drama during the school years—but a hint of her existence could’ve been left in Wayward Son. Agatha is an important character on it, and a mention of her father training an aspiring veterinary could’ve fit somewhere, as a hint, maybe. (Also, Lucy, the dog, being absolutely forgotten during this book when a lot of Agatha’s time is spent in a veterinary clinic...) Besides, we could get the vibes from them, but after they kissed, there was barely any content. We didn’t get them calling each other ‘girlfriend’ (or if they even like that label at this point), or the aftermath of the kiss, or a POV from Niamh. Or Niamh appearing the epilogue? If Agatha was taking care of the goats, I’m sure Niamh would have a part in that too. Still on Agatha’s character, but not on Niamh’s, it felt like Rainbow Rowell was setting up for aromantic and asexual Agatha, specially because of this quote: “It was like she'd pulled the feeling right out of my heart. I could have kissed her. (I still wish sometimes that I wanted to.) (That would feel like an answer to... the question of me. Then I could say, 'Oh, thats who I am. That's why I've been so confused.')” (Wayward Son, chapter 4).

And I was leaving the best (I need to be sure everyone knows I mean this sarcastically) of the romance topic for the end: Fiona and Nicodemus. It’s just... so forced and undeveloped. Not even because, to me, they’re both gay as hell. There was just... such a lack of development! I don’t think we had any interaction between the both of them before Any Way the Wind Blows. There was no foreshadowing or why would Fiona, a vampire hunter from a family of vampire hunters, would marry... a vampire! I’d already find it weird to see fanfiction of them as a crackship, but it’s canon?! Like, canon as in they’re going to get married and use Fiona and Natasha’s mother’s ring? Seriously, nothing will take from me that this is a lavender marriage (as I’ve already discussed with my best friend, which inspired this post of theirs.)

I’d also like to speak about a topic that’d been hinted throughout the series, especially post-Carry On, which is the criticism towards the Magickal Community in the U.K.. That criticism is very much embodied in Shepard’s character. It’s explicitly said that the British mages have some kind of supremacy towards other supernatural beings, such as vampires for example, gatekeeping literal magic. Up until relatively recently, mages with weak links with magic couldn’t attend Watford (and that’s a major plot point in the final book) and there’s a denial towards any other kind of magic except the ones that are part of their craft. Even within the Magickal community itself, there are more important families that are more likely to succeed, like Natasha receiving criticism for marrying Malcolm, as a Pitch. It felt pointless not to tackle the issues you’ve set up yourself in your own universe. Penelope has very strict morals related to magickal law and beliefs, something that she could’ve deconstructed, especially considering Shepard, her love interest, symbolises that. Another point related to that is, the trilogy is very clearly heavily inspired by Harry Potter, where many of those points are very clear (e.g. wizard supremacy in relation to other species, such as werewolves and domestic elves and the status quo that makes some traditionally magical families more influential than others, like the Malfoy’s vs. the Weasley’s), so it’s not an easily forgettable concept.

The series also had a lot of inconsistencies. The one I’ve seen talked about more often is Simon and Agatha’s... intimacy status, let’s call it that. Simon’s whole thing in the first book was that he struggled controlling his magic when experiencing intense emotions, which makes it hard to believe that he managed to have sex withount an... accident. Besides that, though, there’s this quote, “She (...) presses a kiss into my temple. No one has ever kissed me there. No one has ever kissed me anywhere but on my mouth” (Carry On, Chapter 27), but in Any Way the Wind Blows, when Simon’s about to have his wings cut, Agatha says, “It’s a strange feeling to look at someone’s chest and know it’s nothing to do with you anymore, but still to remember kissing every inch.” (Chapter 14)

So, we have established that Rainbow Rowell’s work, both character and plot driven, is flawed. “But we got the characters interacting for the closure of the series, at least!” Well... we got interactions between the canon romantic relationships, yeah. But besides that, we didn’t get much. There were no interactions between Agatha and Penny, or Shepard with Simon and Baz. Or Penny and her mother figuring stuff out. Or literally anyone with a therapist. And not gonna lie, the interaction we got between Baz and Dev was underwhelming, to say the least. Niall is nowhere to be seen, too.

Rainbow Rowell’s writing is beautiful: she writes poetic lines that make the book seem perfect at first glance, if you don’t think about it for too long. Her words are very shiny, but once you get use to that light and see what’s behind them, what’s between one shiny quote and another, it has so many flaws and plot holes that it reads like a first draft. There are many concepts in there that are genuinely good: the rest of the trilogy focused on the protagonist dealing with the trauma of being a child soldier instead of being entirely an adventure, Simon being unlabelled, a fake Chosen One that gives mages fake hope... Those are all good ideas, but so poorly explored that, despite being an entire book/trilogy, it still feels like a writing pitch or something among those lines.

I felt iffy about other things during my reading of the series, but they aren’t exactly plot points, so I’ll just list them below:

Mitali, Penny’s mom, including ‘discovering your bisexuality’ as a mid-life crisis thing 

As I’ve seen people talking about biphobia/bi erasure in the books, I’ll be including this post that features both unlabelled and bisexual individuals talking about the topic (it isn’t my place, as a lesbian, to talk about this, that’s why I decided not to do so.)

Romanticising of Baz’s suicide (a.k.a. chapter 61) in the first book. If you’re not in a good place mentally, like I was when I first read Carry On, I hope you know that a kiss or romance doesn’t help any mental illness you or others might have. Don’t let anyone use your guilt to manipulate you. Paraphrasing Alice Oseman in their graphic novel Heartstopper, love can’t cure a mental illness.

Any Way the Wind Blows was... very horny. I can’t point out how this makes the book bad exactly, but it wasn’t something I enjoyed. One of Rainbow Rowell’s strongest skills is that her quotes, when loose, are good. They tend to be poetic and just beautiful, overall. But in the... explicit scenes, these skills were barely used, and I felt like I was reading NSFW tweets off of someone’s private account on Twitter. Besides, the first two books of the series weren’t written like that, so the change was very sudden.

The older people could’ve been more explored. Penelope and Mitali’s relationship and how similar the both of them are compared to each other, Daphne and Professor Bunce’s insecurities and why they believed in Smith-Smith, Fiona, Nico, and Ebb... Also, the Mage and Lucy. We could’ve had more on them, y’know. 

The pop culture references. They made the book read even more like Twitter’s feed. Honestly, if I wanted to read prompts and nice ship content alongside memes from Twitter with some horny thoughts sprinkled all around, I would’ve opened the Twitter app. Or Tumblr, Instagram, whatever.

The POV switching felt lazy to me at times. It’s nice to know how different characters are experiencing that situation, yes, but sometimes, like during the discovery that Simon is a Salisbury, it read as if Rowell wanted to create tension, but couldn’t think of any other way to do it except the switching around.

Narrative wise, I think Simon and Baz should’ve spent more time broken up. 

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