Once a scammer...
There is a saying ‘fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice shame on you.’ We are fooled by choice as most often we fail to see the red flags that tip us off to the truth of what is going on.
I have had experience with online scammers. You know the ca tfishers who hit you up on social media such as twittern, instagram, facebook, and even telegram. These crooks know no boundaries and it is up to you to keep yourself safe.
A funny thing happened to me the other day as I browsed my telegram feed. I noticed someone who altered their name slightly... in a way maybe they thought I was too stupid to notice? This individual said hello and asked to be friends. Normally I would not say yes, but I couldn’t help myself. I suspected this was a person I had known and had been dating in person for a year... let me back up and explain...
I had met someone on a dating site last year just as covid made its mark. Just as the first wave of lock downs hit my country/city. We met face to face; I admit he was cute and he had this swagger about him... ladies don’t fall for that swagger, the charming nature that oozes sex appeal...
We barely talked on the phone... red flag.
He texted me ‘Good morning’ and then ghost me all day... red flag.
I called him out and even tried to tell him... it wasn’t going to work... I felt he wasn’t interested in me with his lack of attention. He became aggressive on the phone... red flag.
I did my best to distance myself, but I admit, my boundaries were weak. I was curious and I thought at the time that I was being too paranoid about #narcissists and not giving people the benefit of the doubt. I knew I was excusing my behavior. I wanted to see where this would go. Why? I had some learning lessons to accomplish. Long story I’ll share another time.
Things between this guy and myself did not progress. I was his casual, when I wanted to date for something substantial. I would leave the relationship and he would call me from 5 different phone numbers. RED FLAG... CATFISHING REDFLAG... Duly noted.
Then he asked me to buy him groceries... RED FLAG... I noticed his fridge was bare... and I was low on funds myself and couldn’t get away that day so a few days later I showed up with only THREE ITEMS that he asked for... RED FLAG
I bought them, and he put them in his fridge. I noticed... FULL FRIDGE! RED FLAG... and items that I bought he already had... was this a TEST? Cat fishers often test their mark. RED FLAG.
I was asked to phone the vets... as his dog allegedly had surgery a few months prior to meeting me. I said I would phone the vets if I had time. I didn’t have time... he left the follow up question to the last minute... “ Hey, did you get a chance to call the vets for me?” I told him no. He went ballistic. RED FLAG.
I wasn’t asked of anything after that. And I then began to slip into a false awareness that he and I were in a committed relationship. I had forgotten my intuition that was telling me he was a cat fisher... that he had the best of both worlds... he had someone to date in real life... gain money from her and sex and online when his date wasn’t around... who knows how many other women he’d talk to into the wee hours of the night?
I had forgotten what I knew to be true... I had my own issues and struggles to think about. It was nice to just find peace in his company although sporadic and one sided. I wanted to make it work between us; I hung on... and finally after the game playing... I had enough. I began to see the evidence of him having someone else on the side while claiming to be committed to me.
We broke up a few times as I was devalued and discarded. I was determined to not let his ways make me a victim; I took what he dished out and allowed myself to look deeper into the heart of me. I learned and I grew.
It was two weeks after letting him go... was I approached by someone with a similar familiar name. We ended on bad terms. He was extremely cruel and cold to me... I was hurt... hoping that maybe he would apologize, but no. He continued to blame me as a narcissist does. And so... doing my best to get on with my life, I was letting go... and then the guy named Michael spelled Mikal with the same letters of his true last name only as an acronym. This man fed me his bull shit story of how he is from a certain country but works in another country. This is CLASSIC Banter of a cat fisher! I couldn’t help but notice the name... and so I decided to play along... to test my intuition.
Your intuition is always right. Never second guess it. It is your super power and will save you from trouble.
It took two days before the love bombing started, and in between this time, Mikal... Michael dropped subtle hints that further let me know who he was. I suppose he was thinking he was trying to be smart, leading me to believe he was my soul mate because he knew me... he got me and seemed to know what I was thinking or feeling. Michael tried to make himself my savior... as he shared with me a long text about how I shouldn’t compare my ex to other men. He shared with me how I am probably hurt but I need to push the feelings aside for the other man who hurt me and move on. How would he know I might be mourning the loss of someone? He wouldn’t. It was odd speak between two complete strangers since I did not tell him I was not looking to date online... nor the reasons why... that conversation never came up. He assumed I was looking... as I was his target... he knew what to say... because he KNEW ME...
This is why I make this post. Some people you will never know. You will never think that they would stoop so low. You share secret things with them to connect and yet, they never intended to connect. The real Mikal... whose name is spelled Michael... always intended to use me as a MARK. He dated me to get to know me... his modus oporandi was always to break up with me... to then befriend me as a ‘stranger’ as this would have better results.
The narcissist assumes that we will be pining and mourning a loss, and for Michael, finding me at a weak point to gain an in to extort money from me was his PLAN ALL ALONG!
You are NEVER in a relationship with a narcissist. You are their slave; mark... their toy... their fad. They never intend to love you or care because they CAN’T.
I received a love bombing text... yesterday as Mikal confessed his undying love for me. I sent a long text back... letting him know I know who he is really and that I am not falling for his game; his con job. He has gone silent.
I suspect that isn’t the end... it never is... I’ve been through the cat fishing scheme before where I was unsuspecting. I did assume the guy really did find interest in me. I was niave... I admit that... niave and healing from narcissistic abuse. I was a fish out of water. I went to the police...
Cat fishing is a billion dollar industry. I got way lucky. Licking my egoic wounds. I recovered but how many people lose their life savings???? This is horrific... and to know that someone I was dating in real life... had no PROBLEM in cheating and conning people out of their money so he could have... a leather couch... two big ass tv’s... feed his dog raw meat... have a full fridge and his bills paid? What the hell??? This is so wrong. So wrong....
I sent a text to Mikal... letting him know that the coincidences of our meeting online and the things he said to me.... let me know I know who he really is... will it do any good? No... He will get away with his crimes for a time... however he won’t get away with it for long.. I am God’s daughter and my intentions were pure towards Michael. I let him know that even what he did... I don’t hate him. I forgive him... and he is in God’s hands. I learned some valuable lessons about myself... and I can’t deny or dismiss that. To disrespect Michael/Mikal and turn to bitterness would undo my healing journey and dismiss who I am to become. I am worthy of love and I am strong, smart and deserve to be loved. What we sow we reap...
I have knowledge now... Occam’s Razor says it all... if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck... it’s a duck. My instinct is not wrong and I feel proud of myself for handling the situation as I did. I walk away in integrity with my head held high. The narc cannot break us when we are wise to their scheming ways. Heads up dear lovelies our enemy is always on the prowl.
GOD BLESS YOU!
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narcissisticinjury answered your question:I’m going to watch some anime tonight. Anyone have...
Durarara, Psycho Pass, Attack on Titan
Which one is going to mess me up the most in 5 hours?
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