#no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

people practice w Them <3

#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye #i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!! #but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!! #i already see improvement #not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this' #but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this #if i dont do it now then i never will!!!! #im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!! #ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived... #it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!! #ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen #no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen #i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere #either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3 #THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT #scribble garnish #uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas- #in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3 #yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established #im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3 #& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah #im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be... #THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!

[randomfandomfamily]

How about a one-shot of Gary looking after Little Cato when he gets seriously ill and ends up in a coma for a couple of days? Also your one-shots are sweet ^^

--

AGH this took me so much longer than it should have, I’m so sorry.

(ps: thank you for saying my one-shots are sweet, that made my whole day!)

Little Cato felt how the Lord Commander looked, which basically meant he felt like crap, but also like he was dying. And, you know, maybe he was dying, but he wasn’t going to let a little death stop him.

Besides, what was the worst that could happen? He had a runny nose for a couple of days? That was nothing! He could definitely handle a little sickness.

But a couple of days turned into a week, and he felt worse and worse every time he forced himself out of bed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been sick before, because he definitely had. He just hadn’t had a reason to hide it before because no one had really cared.

The soldiers hadn’t cared if he was sick, the Lord Commander hadn’t cared if he was sick, but Gary would probably care a whole lot if he was sick. He couldn’t afford to let Gary get distracted just because he was sick. The poor guy had enough to deal with.

“You sure you’re good to pilot?” Gary asked. “You’re looking a little under the weather.”

Little Cato mustered his best smile and gave Gary a thumbs up. “I’m all good Thunder Bandit! If anything goes wrong, I’ll have AVA on it asap.”

Gary smiled reluctantly. “Well, alright. If you’re sure.” He left Little Cato alone with the controls. Little Cato sighed in relief, tricking Gary into thinking he wasn’t sick was getting harder and harder.

But he would get better. Eventually.

"Little Cato!” He jumped at the sound of his name being shouted. Fox was frowning down at him. “Did you zone out or something, Ventrexian?”

Blinking rapidly to regain his focus, Little Cato realized that he didn’t recognize any of the planets they were flying past. How long had he blanked out for? Everything was so blurry, it was hard to distinguish anything.

Rest. That was probably all he needed. Just a little rest, though. “Ah, sorry. That’s my bad.” He got up from his seat and immediately stumbled into the controls. “Whoa...”

Fox suddenly looked more concerned than annoyed. “Uh... you doin’ okay?”

Little Cato gave him a thumbs up. “Absolutely!” He pushed himself back up and made his way towards the door. “Maybe just put AVA on autopilot for a while, huh? I’m gonna...”

He trailed off, unable to force the words out of his throat. The ship was spinning, was it supposed to be spinning? His vision was going gray around the edges, and he knew it wasn’t supposed to do that. There was a ringing sound somewhere that he couldn’t identify.

“You’re not lookin’ so hot,” Fox said, though Little Cato could hardly make out his voice over the ringing in his ears. “Maybe you should go lay down.”

Little Cato nodded. “You know, that’s not a bad idea.” He flashed what he hoped was a convincing smile. “I’ll be back after a quick nap. Don’t do anything stupid without me.”

Fox opened his mouth to say something, but Little Cato closed the door before he could. As much as he liked Fox, he couldn’t deal with their usual bickering right now.

The walk back to his room was slow, and he had to keep leaning against the wall for support. It was frustrating. What if someone saw him like this? They’d know something was wrong.

So he pushed himself off the wall and forced himself to walk in a (probably) straight line. Why was he shaking so much? Had it always been this cold on the Crimson Light?

He opened the door to his room and quickly closed it behind him. Letting himself slide to the floor, he wondered how the crap he was going to climb that stupid ladder. A small voice in the back of his mind whispered that he could always just go get Gary, but he shut that down hard, standing back up just to spite the idea.

“I don’t need to go get Gary.” He grabbed the rungs of the ladder and hauled himself up. “It’s not that bad, I’m not even that sick.” His body felt like it might give out at any given moment, but he managed to get to the top of the ladder.

Little Cato collapsed his bed and laughed weakly. “See? Not that bad.” His vision started to black out. “It’s not… it’s not that bad…”

Afternoon came and passed, and Little Cato slept all through the night and into the next day. Fox and made an attempt to wake him, but gave up after a few minutes. If Little Cato was that tired, maybe he should just keep sleeping.

Nobody really thought much of Little Cato’s absence until Gary looked around and asked, “Where’s Little Cato?”

“He’s asleep,” Fox answered.

Gary frowned. “Still? But it’s been almost a whole day.”

KVN hummed as he floated around Gary’s head. “Maybe he died.”

If you could stop a heart with three words, those would be it. Gary glared at KVN with barely concealed rage. “I will kill you for that later, but for now I’m just- I’m gonna go check on him.” 

KVN’s words kept echoing around in his head as he made his way to Little Cato’s room. Little Cato wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be. The kid was just fine the day before, there’s no way he’d just suddenly up and die.

Although… had Little Cato really been okay when Gary asked him? He did seem off. But if Little Cato was feeling out of sorts, he would definitely come tell Gary about it, right? He wouldn’t keep something like that a secret… would he?

He opened the door to Little Cato’s room. “Hey! Time to get up sleepyhead.” When he didn’t get an immediate response, he moved to stand beside the bunk beds and knocked on the metal frame. “Come on, kid, you’ve been asleep long enough.”

Still no answer.

“Spider-Cat?” He grabbed Little Cato’s shoulder. “Kid, wake up.” He shook Little Cato but there was still no reaction. “Little Cato!” The kid was trembling under his hand. Gary moved to check his forehead and recoiled immediately. “What the hell…” Little Cato was burning up, his fur matted with feverish perspiration.

And he wasn’t waking up.

Gary scooped Little Cato out of the top bunk and carried him out of the room. He wanted to run to the medbay as fast as he possibly could, but he forced himself to hold the kid steady.

How did this happen? How could he have let this happen? He knew something was off. He should have said something. He should have made Little Cato tell him what was wrong.

“AVA!” Gary was thankful the doors on the Crimson Light could open themselves. He didn’t have time for inconveniences like doorknobs right now. “I need you to fix Little Cato!”

“I can’t just ‘fix him’,” AVA replied, “I don’t even know what’s wrong.”

Gary set Little Cato down gave the ceiling a scathing look. “Then figure out what’s wrong with him! Then fix it!”

“Gary?” Nightfall’s voice made him turn. “What’s going on? Is he okay?”

“No,” Gary said. “I mean, I-I don’t know. I…” He struggled to keep a level head. “He won’t wake up.”

“What do you mean-”

“I mean he won’t wake up.” Gary felt bad for snapping, but he was so on edge he could barely think. “He’s sick, Nightfall. Really sick, and I should have noticed! But I didn’t notice, and he didn’t tell me, and now he’s…” He sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed he had laid Little Cato down on.

AVA’s voice made him look up. “Little Cato appears to be suffering from a virus, something akin to the Earthen flu. His symptoms include fever, nausea, sinus issues-”

Gary shook his head. “That can’t be right. The flu doesn’t knock people like this.” He stood up and pointed at his kid. “The flu doesn’t put people in friggin’ comas!”

“If you would let me finish,” AVA said with robotic annoyance, “I could have told you that his condition has been significantly worsened due to stress.”

Nightfall tipped her head. “Stress?”

“How does stress cause this?” Gary gestured wildly at his comatose son. “Stress doesn’t do this!”

“It would take a very extensive amount of stress to do this much damage,” AVA agreed, “Though I am hazy on what could be its source. Therefore, I am entrusting someone else to explain it to you.”

The door opened, and HUE waddled in. “Thank you, AVA.” HUE imitated a throat being cleared. “Little Cato’s list of potential sources of stress, as far as my records show: almost being killed Avocato, imprisoned by the Lord Commander, being rescued by Avocato father only to watch him die moments later, immediately thrown into a war he knew little to nothing about other than he wanted to fight the Lord Commander, he was lost in space with no knowledge of his friends’ well-being, trapped in a time shard for 60 insanity-inducing years, saved the father who didn’t remember him, watched Gary get possessed and try to kill him, watched Avocato get possessed and try to kill Gary, had to experience Avocato approaching him with a gun for a second time, was forced to shoot Avocato to save Gary, and most recently, he believed himself unworthy to be part of this group and, believing he was a potential danger to us, fled to a group of bandits because he didn’t think he deserved the company of good people.”

Gary knew this. He knew all of this. But hearing it all out loud, all at once, made it seem almost impossible. Just hearing it made Gary’s head spin, he couldn’t imagine having to live it.

“This,” AVA continued, “Combined with his increasingly severe illness, has caused his body to completely shut down. My guess is he’s been sick for about a week now.”

“A week?!” Gary exclaimed. “Are you kidding me?” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “No, of course you’re not kidding. Little Cato probably thought he could just tough it out.”

Nightfall put a hand on his shoulder. “Little Cato’s a tough guy, Gary. He’ll be okay.”

Gary shrugged her off. “He shouldn’t have to be a ‘tough guy’, he’s fourteen.” He felt a fresh wave of tears well up in his eyes as he gazed at his sick child. “And I’m supposed to take care of him.”

“And you are,” Nightfall insisted, “You can’t control what Little Cato does and doesn’t tell you. The most you can do is let him know that you’re there for him when he does want to tell you something.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” Gary said bitterly, “Just as soon as he wakes up.”

Gary knew the best case scenario was that Little Cato’s fever broke and he was awake by the end of the day. Of course, when it came to Little Cato, there was rarely a best case scenario that came to pass. He dragged a chair into the room and sat down next to the bed and waited, but there was still no indication that Little Cato would wake up, at least not today.

Since there was no way he was leaving Little Cato’s side, Gary opted to spend the night in the medbay. It was a pretty sleepless night; thanks to KVN’s comment from earlier, Gary was absolutely terrified to take his eyes off Little Cato for even a second.

The rest of the crew popped in from time to time. Fox and Ash reassured him that Little Cato would get better. He ignored HUE’s suggestion of sleep. Nightfall tried to tell him that AVA would let him know if anything happened, but Gary still refused to leave.

And he didn’t leave the day after that either. Or the day after that, but he did finally manage to get some sleep. Resting his arms on the bed and laying his head down, he drifted off, telling himself that he’d only sleep for a few minutes, then he’d go back to looking after Little Cato. Just a few minutes…

He couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what Little Cato had thought too.

Gary slept for much longer than he had anticipated. After staying up for about three days straight, he really shouldn’t have expected to just take a twenty minute nap. He didn’t want to miss the second Little Cato woke up but, unfortunately, he did.

Little Cato’s eyes opened slowly as he tried to get his bearings. “Aw crap, how long have I been out?” He sat up groggily and blinked against the bright lights. His throat felt like it was on fire. “I better get back to the controls before- this is not my room.”

The only thing more surprising than waking up in the medbay was seeing Gary sitting in a chair next to the bed, passed out with his head on his arms. It dawned on Little Cato that his hand was being held, his adopted father looking absolutely exhausted.

What the crap happened?

Reluctantly, Little Cato reached over and tapped Gary’s shoulder. “Thunder Bandit?”

The mess of blond stirred, lifting his head and squinting at Little Cato. “Spider-Cat?”

“Hey,” Little Cato croaked, his throat still sore. “What are-”

Gary stood up so fast he knocked his chair over. “YOU ARE SO GROUNDED!!”

Little Cato blanched. “Wha- huh?”

“You heard me: grounded.” Gary looked… not angry, but Little Cato couldn’t place the expression. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?!”

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Little Cato said flippantly, “I’m not even that sick.” Gary didn’t say anything for a while, he stared at Little Cato with that same ‘almost angry but not quite’ expression on his face. “What?”

“You’ve been asleep,” Gary said slowly, “For almost four days.”

Little Cato felt his stomach drop. How? When? That couldn’t be right. He hadn’t been that sick, had he? “But… that can’t be… I…” A realization struck Little Cato has he took in Gary’s tired anger and slumped posture. “Have you been sitting in here this whole time?”

Who was he kidding? Of course Gary had just sat in here with him. He knew Gary wouldn’t just be able to brush of him being sick, it was the whole reason he hadn’t wanted to tell Gary in the first place!

“Crap, this isn’t what was supposed to happen.” Little Cato closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I supposed to get better and you weren’t supposed to know. Now I’ve been stuck in here for four days and you’ve probably lost so much time.” He laughed humorlessly. “I’m such an idiot, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Little Cato.” He looked up to see Gary righting his chair and sitting down. “You listen to me, and listen good because I am dead friggin’ serious right now.” He squeezed Little Cato’s hand. “Never hesitate to tell me anything. I don’t care if you’re sick, tired, or just having a bad day, you tell me.”

“But-”

“No,” Gary interrupted. “Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

That made Little Cato hesitate. “Worried? About me?” He attempted a smile. “Gary, you know you don’t have to-”

Gary held up a hand. “I’m your dad now. It’s my job to worry about you. But even if I wasn’t your dad, I’d still be worried, because you’re a sick kid.” His voice softened. “AVA said your condition shouldn’t have even been as bad as it was. A lot of it had to do with stress.”

Little Cato tried to blow that particular statement off. “Pfft, what? Stress? Come on, Gary, you know I don’t stress about anything.”

“Tell that to your four day coma, buddy.” Gary rubbed his eyes. “I’m beyond relieved that you’re okay, Little Cato. But I’m serious about what I said earlier. You can tell me anything, at anytime.” When Gary’s hand fell away from his face, Little Cato could see how red his eyes were. “I was scared, kid.”

That’s not what Little Cato had wanted to happen. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just thought I… I thought I could handle being sick.”

Gary sighed. “I know you didn’t mean to. Just… stop trying to tough things out on your own, okay? Promise?”

Little Cato nodded. “I promise.”

“Good.” Gary smiled. “Now give me a hug before we both start crying.”

#final space #little cato #gary goodspeed #dadspeed #random disaster writes

[emiliios]

TW: DRUGS, ADDICTION, DEATH.

- ̗̀✰ •【 CHRIS WOOD / CISMALE / 29 】announcing the arrival of his royal highness, ( EMILIO DE COIMBRA ), the ( PRINCE ) of ( PORTUGAL ). I’ve heard that he is ( STUBBORN ) & ( FACETIOUS ) but can also be ( PASSIONATE ) & ( LOYAL ). ( EMILIO ) is arranged to marry ( TATIANA ROMANOV ). Rumor has it ( HE IS ADDICTED TO COCAINE ). We hope you enjoy your stay at London!

sup bbys it’s riley again ( i also play christian and tomás ) and we r back w yet ANOTHER sad boy ™ , emilio AKA MILO, however this one is on a REDEMPTION ARC. MARK MY WORDS. we r in for a wild ride. as always. a pretty damn lengthy intro post underneath the cut. and as always, GIVE THIS POST A LIKE or slide into my tumblr ims / discord dms for some plot ho™ action thnx

BACKSTORY ! tw: drugs, addiction, death.

( read more  about the de coimbras here !! elle did such a fanfabtastic job )

long story short, milo was close with his family, but not super close. he loved his parents and his siblings a lot, but never really showed it; would protect his siblings at all costs but never told them everything. sort of like a semi-close but not too-close kind of vibe there. 

he was very close with his father, though -- despite their arguments about staying out late or getting in with the wrong people sometimes, he really looked up to his father. he respected the shit out of him for marrying out of love and not for political reasons, and always thought that just maybe he could do the same. but ofc, that future was not for him (OR WAS IT ....... stay tuned).

being the second oldest, he was expected to have responsibilities, but he never had the burden of knowing that he would have to lead a country ( that is, until now ). he had a weird relationship with his duties before pedro fell into his coma; knowing his status as a member of the royal family, he had things he had to do, but sort of skirted by and did the bare minimum. he’d attend galas, meet other royals, uphold a certain standard of himself, but other than that, he felt as though he had free reigns over what else he wanted to do with his life. that typically meant going out with his friends, traveling to the south of france for a weekend with his friends, etc. he wasn’t too rowdy as a teenager, but he dabbled in some drugs here and there. nothing too serious.

TW: DEATH. BUT THEN his father died when he was 23 and out of college, working as a manager for some international nonprofit, he spiraled out of control for a while.

and by that i meant he would go out and go like sicko mode version of his old life, like full send on drugs and partying and completely neglecting his duties as a royal. he got shit from his family and his siblings but he found even more that there was no reason to worry that much about his duties n shit.

the one bright spot in his life from age 23-present day was tatiana. o boy did he fall hard when he met her at age 26, almost got control of his life again with her in it. he was seriously in love w her but of course, his whole mindset of not giving a shit wasn’t really cutting it and he was probably not the best boyfriend LET ALONE someone that another royal should be betrothed to / associated with, so they broke it off after about two years.

TW: DRUGS, ADDICTION. the six months between his break-up with tatiana and pedro’s accident that put him in a coma was probably milo’s all time low. he went through a phase where he’d sleep around trying to get over her, this was also the time when he really got hooked on cocaine. he’d do it to try and feel something, and really spiraled to his absolute lowest. royal family negligence was at an all time high. real low point for my dude right here.

flash-forward to pedro’s accident, about six months ago -- it turned milo’s entire life upside-down. he was now the crowned prince, the one who would have to rule a country. he realized how much responsibility he would have to carry, without either of his parents or his older brother to help him. he started to turn things around -- cut out the partying, the sleeping around, the excessive drinking. he started to realize how vulnerable a human life was, realizing that his father’s passing and his brother’s accident were real, not just flukes, and his entire outlook on life changed.

he wanted to be good. he wanted to be good enough to be a role model for his younger siblings just like pedro had been for him; he wanted to be a leader that the portuguese people would stand behind and support, but he knew he had a long way to go. 

TW: ADDICTION. he continues to put in a lot of good work to improve his character, his habits, his relationship with his family, and his royal duties. however, there still exist a few flaws: the fact that milo never wanted to be king or ever rule a country still weighs down in his heart, and he still harbors a bit of resentment toward carlotta for indirectly pushing this life on him, but also, deep down, he knows that without this push, he would still be in a very dark hole. second, due to the immense amount of sudden pressure pushed onto him, milo still frequently uses cocaine and needs it to relieve himself of pressures.

PERSONALITY !

milo is definitely outgoing and has a witty sense of humor. the fact that he was sort of a black sheep made him have a bit of a self-deprecating of humor at times in his life, but it shows that he is actually pretty self-aware as well. 

milo is friendly; despite not really wanting to have a royal title, especially not that of ‘crown prince’, he does like getting to know people, and in a lot of cases, that means other royals. however, get on his bad side or annoy him, and he’ll be cold or aggressive.

milo is emotional, but doesn’t really show it. he bottles up a lot of his emotions and lets them out by himself, but we’ll all be damned if he ever cried in front of maybe more than like 1 person. while he is self-aware about a lot of things, he doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions sometimes.

milo was a bit cynical, but has been wanting to change. he used to think that every man was out for himself, but having come into a leadership role, he sees different perspectives better now.

milo is a little impatient, but he’s working on it. he’s really working on it 1!!!!!!!!!

TIDBITS !

milo is called milo only by his close friends and family; he still goes by emilio regularly.

milo is really into astronomy; often times while drunk / high / neglecting responsibilities, he’d find himself staring at the stars in the garden. he likes studying constellations. it’s cool and it’s his little nerdy thing.

milo is pansexual; doesn’t really care for gender or sex and probably discovered this during college or something.

milo really is into action movies. like fast and the furious or something. i don’t really know other action movies.

milo learned how to play guitar, probably when he was really high or something. he’s actually pretty good. probably used it to woo women at some point, but deep down it’s one of very few things that can calm him down.

AESTHETIC ! tw: alcohol.

well-fitted sweaters, headphones around his neck, expensive watches, pen ink stains, a neat desk, rock music, star maps, spearmint gum, speaking three languages in the same sentence, old cartoons, faded tanlines, smokey cologne, dark chocolate.

POTENTIAL PLOTS ! tw: drugs, alcohol, addiction.

previous friends / party buddies, people who milo used to hang around in some of his more crazy points of his life -- people who could do lines with him, who would travel recklessly around the world with him, who probably fed into his ‘fuck royal duties’ kind of thing. he probably cut ties eventually when he realized how stupid it was to be doing all these things ( about six months ago ); things could be tense now.

childhood friends, people who maybe were of similar age and who attended different royal gatherings together. preferably friends who grew up together and sort of got up to shenanigans.

former friends, probably someone of similar age and take their royal duties more seriously. when milo began to fall into a more carefree lifestyle, perhaps they didn’t agree with his life choices and their friendship fell through. 

exes / flings, probably a handful of them. given that he’s charismatic and outgoing, he’s likely to charm his way to a person’s heart if he takes interest in them / they take interest in him. him being facetious and not taking things as seriously as he should, things probably ended if / when it was expected for the relationship to be long-term or serious.

good influence, someone who sees the potential in milo’s turn in perspective and may tutor him in royal tricks, or is trying to help him get off the rails finally ( bonus: they’ve seen him do coke and are subtley trying to him him get his shit together there )

literally ? anything ? hit me the fuck up once again LIKE THIS or dm me on tumblr/discord and lets get some P L O T S goin my dudes

#buckingham:intro #intro post. #tw drugs #tw addiction #tw death #tw alcohol #anyhow this took way longer than i thought #y? bc i always write intro posts that are way too long #anyhow I'LL BE on in the morning 2 do more replies and write starters

[dnmeinster]

Why The Last Jedi Fails

I've debated whether it would be worth spending time writing this, as I know there are many critical takes out there about The Last Jedi.  But I figure it's time to gather up all my critiques and criticisms of Star Wars Episode 8 and put them into one (hopefully) coherent post.  Warning: I will be praising some parts of this film.

After I saw The Last Jedi opening night, my immediate reaction was that I loved it.  It is a beautifully shot film with some great scenes.  My initial trepidations were ones I've come to accept: Rey's parents are nobodies and Snoke was killed off without a backstory.  However, in the hours after watching, my critical brain turned back on and started to dissect every other bit of the film.  After seeing it a second time, the problems became more apparent.

Let's start with the film's greatest problem and a huge missed opportunity: Canto Bight.  Everything surrounding this whole plot point and locale is misguided from the minute it's mentioned.  It starts by wasting Maz Kanata, a potentially interesting character who is given little more than a cameo to send Finn and Rose off to the casino world.  Even worse, Maz's short amount of screen time includes a dig at the prequels, when she dismisses any notion that they'd be interested in her union dispute.  Here, we get some insight into how this film will approach politics in the Star Wars galaxy.  But director Rian Johnson misdiagnoses what was wrong with the prequels.  Space politics can be interesting!  See:  Star Wars Bloodline.  Johnson's decision to shy away from it compounds the problems when they actually get to Canto Bight.

It all goes wrong from the moment they land.  Literally.  Finn and Rose "park" their ship in a spot they're not supposed to.  Then they enter the casino, in what is apparently an homage to the cantina but on a grander scale.  This diverse set of gamblers are apparently war profiteers, as is briefly mentioned.  But their only interaction with any of them is when they are approached and arrested for parking illegally.  Seriously.

In prison, they encounter DJ, who will eventually join them on their mission to disable the First Order's tracker.  But first, they have to go back to the casino area and release enslaved creatures so they can trample and maim these profiteers we are told are bad.  This is a very long sequence that ends with Finn saying how glad he was to hurt them.  Huh?  Hurt these people you don't know and haven't spoken to?

The entire Canto Bight subplot lacks any depth.  It's completely superficial, and maybe that would've worked if they didn't spend so much of the movie there.  But it ends up being a whole lot of time wasted on what amounts to finding a way to get DJ with Finn and Rose.  This could've been so much better.

HOW TO IMPROVE CANTO BIGHT

Honestly, this should've been caught when someone was reading Johnson's drafts, because we're basically stuck with a chunk a TLJ that degrades it while simultaneously expanding its running time.  But it could've been fixed, starting with Maz.

 Instead of having Maz phone in her appearance, they should have met her on Canto Bight.  Right there, we lose one prequel crack and give Lupita a slightly larger role.  While there, they interact with these profiteers, engaging in a moral debate about the First Order vs. the Resistance, while finding out how the conflict is viewed through the galaxy.  Were there a lot of systems missing the Empire?  How do they feel about the New Republic's destruction?  Eventually, that moral debate is what leads to fisticuffs and their subsequent imprisonment, as opposed to a parking ticket.

Johnson doesn't touch on any of this in TLJ.  His take on the morality of the conflict is restricted to two lines involving DJ.  First: 

DJ: Good guys, bad guys, made-up words. Let's see who formerly owned this gorgeous hunk-uh. Ah, this guy was an arms dealer. Made his bank selling weapons to the bad guys. (Hologram shows a tie fighter.) Oh... And the good. (Hologram shows an x-wing.) Finn, let me learn you something big. It's all a machine, partner. Live free, don't join.

And second, when DJ betrays them:   

DJ: They blow you up today, you can blow them up tomorrow. It's just business. 

Finn: You're wrong. 

DJ: Maybe.

This is the extent Johnson is willing to go when it comes to morality in the Star Wars universe, and it's just not enough.  Either dig in or don't mention it.  Short changing it is a disservice, but that's exactly what happens.

If the entire Canto Bight sequence was redone, it would not only be a better Star Wars movie, but a better movie in general.  It doesn't have to be exactly as I think it should be, but it needs vast improvements.  If Disney were to ever special edition the sequels, then Canto Bight should be singled out.  And yes, I do think they should special edition them, along with the prequels.  But that's for another time.

MOVING ON

The second greatest issue of The Last Jedi is how immensely it fails at being a sequel to The Force Awakens.  I am undoubtedly biased when it comes to discussing TFA because JJ Abrams is one of my favorite directors and I absolutely loved his take on Star Wars.  Now, one of JJ's favorite things to do is to approach plots as mystery boxes, whose contents are slowly revealed over the course of a TV series or movie.  And don't say he didn't have any clue as to where TFA was going, as he had an outline prepared for the sequel, and an idea for who Rey's parents were.  Along comes Rian Johnson, who, instead of opening that mystery box, takes a hammer to it.

So much of what is hinted at, left unsolved, or teased in TFA is either ignored, brushed aside, or poorly answered in TLJ.  This is a problem.  TLJ is supposed to be a direct sequel, not a spin-off or an unplanned continuation.  When Yoda suggests there's another hope in Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi provides an answer to who that is.  Imagine if it didn't.  Well, I suppose you don't have to cause this basically happens with TLJ.

There was a lot of set up in TFA, but Johnson used TLJ to tear all of that up instead of building on it.  Rey's lineage, strongly hinted to be significant through multiple scenes in TFA, is made to be meaningless in TLJ.  Maz Kanata teased having a story about how she came to possess Anakin's lightsaber, but that's ignored in TLJ.  Snoke is treated like a disposable villain, even though he somehow managed to stitch the Empire back together and tempt Ben Solo to the dark side.  The Knights of Ren are mentioned in an offhand comment in TFA and are completely missing in TLJ.  I could go on.

Okay, I will.  Why would Luke leave a map for his friends to find him in TFA if he went to Ahch-To to die?  And why did Luke leave it with Lor San Tekka?  (Johnson's answer:  stfu, Luke is emo now.)

The Last Jedi also feels like a smaller movie.  There are two new locations introduced: Canto Bight and Crait.  It revisits Ahch-To from TFA, and the rest takes place on ships.  This is not necessarily a problem, except it fails to show both the dominance of the First Order and the scope of their battle with the Republic/Resistance.  Star Wars is a big universe.  Shouldn't it feel that way?

And then there's issues with some of the returning characters.  Finn is tied down in the wasteful Canto Bight plot that doesn't do much for him.  Leia spends most of the movie in a coma.  Ackbar is murdered for no reason and with even less fanfare.  Poe gets an expanded role, though somehow it doesn't lead to much character growth.

And I can't forget Phasma.  A character with so much potential yet given such short shrift in both TFA and TLJ.  She feels tacked on in this film, when she could've been given a meatier role given how underwhelming all of Johnson's original characters are.  Which brings me to...

THE NEWBIES

The Empire Strikes Back introduced us to Yoda, Lando, and Boba Fett.  The only memorable addition to The Last Jedi are the porgs.

Johnson gives us three new characters in TLJ:  Admiral Holdo, DJ, and Rose.  There isn't that much to say about them, because, well, they're not very memorable and they're certainly not iconic.  Holdo is a one note character meant to serve as the adversary to Poe.  Her entire role consists of antagonizing him and withholding information.  She's much more interesting in Claudia Grey's novel, Leia: Princess of Alderaan.

I've already mentioned the role DJ plays during Benicio del Toro's criminally tiny amount of screen time, so that leaves Rose.  She's...okay?  Sticking her on Canto Bight certainly doesn't help her.�� The most memorable thing she does is interrupt Finn's suicide run and plant a kiss on him, both of which come from almost nowhere.

It really feels like these characters are underdeveloped and the actors are wasted in the roles, and that's a shame.  But then, that's the story of the prequels as well.  It's just that it was less surprising when George Lucas was doing it.

THE WORST MOMENT IN THE LAST JEDI

Luke Skywalker is far from the Luke we remember in RotJ.  At least until the end of the film, when he leaves Ahch-To, joins Leia and the Resistance, and takes on Kylo Ren and the First Order on his own.

Except he didn't really leave Ahch-To, it's a Force projection, and the stress of creating it kills him.  What?

Han Solo's death makes sense given his son's role in TFA.  Luke Skywalker dies because Rian Johnson chose to kill him.  There is not a single reason plot-wise for Luke to die in this movie.  The Sequel Trilogy should not be about killing off a member of the original trio in each film.  And it didn't have to be.  What were they thinking?

When Carrie Fisher passed away, and it became clear Leia was not going to be in Episode 9, that should have convinced the powers that be to change the last three minutes of the film and allow Luke to live.  Yes, he can return as a Force ghost, but that's not the same.  They would've only had to cut Luke's disappearance and a line from Rey and BAM, Luke's still alive for Episode 9.

His meaningless and arbitrary death ruins this film.  (And after they spent a whole film trying to find him, no less.)

THE GOOD

Now that I've rattled off some of the major flaws I perceived in TLJ, let me list some of the good.

The Yoda Scene:  Easily the best moment of the film.

Luke tossing the lightsaber:  A hilarious and unexpected moment before there were too many "hilarious" and unexpected moments.

Hux:  The one minor TFA character Johnson does an excellent job with.  He may be my favorite character in the film.

Rey and Ren:  The development of their relationship is the strongest element of TLJ.

The Caretakers:  See Damon Lindelof's Instagram.

The Porgs: Adorable pests/wookie-fodder.

Luke flashbacks:  We needed more of these.

Artoo: BB-8 is stealing his thunder, but he can still get in a cheap shot.

Threepio: He's also in this film.

Praetorian Guards: That's some good lightsaberin'.

The Cinematography:  Seriously, this movie is gorgeous.

It feels like a Star Wars movie (minus one ridiculous ironing scene).

FAILURE

Yoda tells Luke how failure is the greatest teacher, laying out one of the themes of this film.  The other, a quote played over numerous TLJ trailers, is "Let the past die.  Kill it, if you have to."  Let's explore.

Weeks before Max Landis disappeared from Twitter following sexual harassment allegations, he described how every character in this movie fails:

REY - Turn Kylo - Fails KYLO - Turn Rey - Fails FINN - Turn off tracker - Fails POE - Save Revel Fleet - Fails SNOKE - Kill Rey - Fails LUKE - Train Rey - Fails HUX - Usurp power - Fails LEIA - Escape - Mostly Fails ROSE TICO - Turn of tracker - Fails HOLDO - Evacuate to Planet Secretly - Fails

That's a lot of failure.  Ironically, you can add one more:

RIAN JOHNSON - Make a great Star Wars film - Fails

But this theme is not why TLJ doesn't work.  It's the other one that drags it down.  The whole idea to let the past die.  If this was Episode 9, and Disney was about to start fresh with a new series of Star Wars films, perhaps it would work.  But this is the middle chapter.  The past, especially TFA, should not be killed.  It should define the entire Sequel Trilogy.

After all, this is a culmination of everything in the OT and PT.  The First Order is born from the Empire.  The Resistance is born from the Rebellion (and then turned back into the Rebellion?  Guess you can't let the entire past die, huh?)  Most of the characters come from other movies.  This is their last time to shine.

Johnson subverts expectations too many times in TLJ.  It works at first, with Luke tossing the lightsaber, but by the end, it has become trite.  Rey's parents are nobodies.  Snoke's dead.  Luke's dead.  The entire Resistance can fit on the Millennium Falcon.  (And Kylo Ren’s awesome mask is wrecked.) He's killed the past without building anything for the future.  That's left to JJ in the single remaining film in the trilogy.  Come on!

The Last Jedi is so polarizing because there’s so much to nitpick, whereas The Force Awakens mainly had only one general complaint leveled against it (it was too much like A New Hope).  One fan may be okay with Leia's Mary Poppins scene, while also despising how Luke became a cranky hermit.  Each potential negative has to be overlooked to come out of it with a positive view, but it’s a lot easier to focus and harp on the negatives.  And that's what's happened online, and, yes, in this post.  Also, killing off Luke for no reason was dumb.

Before I go, I want to mention how overrated Looper was.  Interesting concept, but it falls apart at the farm.  And they gave that director a Star Wars film, while taking one away from the guys who did the Jump Street movies and The Lego Movie.  Sigh.

If JJ sticks the landing with Episode 9 and churns out a terrific film, perhaps TLJ can be viewed in a new light.  And opinions do change over the years.  But even though Revenge of the Sith was pretty good, no one looks back fondly at the prequel trilogy.

#star wars #the last jedi #the force awakens #revenge of the sith #a new hope #empire strikes back #return of the jedi #rian johnson #luke skywalker #leia #han solo #kylo ren #rey #finn #poe dameron #jj abrams #george lucas #supreme leader snoke

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #162: The Bride of Ultron!

August, 1977

So. Uh. Cool cover?

...

Lets not beat around the bush.

Last time: The Grim Reaper attacked and Wonder Man had to punch the shit out of him. And then Hank Pym got weird amnesia and attacked the Avengers as Ant-Man. They were weirdly unprepared to fight ants and a tiny man. And then Ultron apparently killed most of the Avengers and kidnapped Janet van Wasp and Ant-Man.

This time: A wedding I guess??

We start with Thor arriving at Avengers Mansion to find several of the team being carted away by ambulances.

Check out that tactless dude saying the one he’ll miss is Cap. Tragedy strikes us all differently but maybe don’t say that when you’re within spitting distance of all the other dead people. Maybe its meta, since Cap is the only one to have his own book?

Anyway, Thor heads inside and meets up with the survivors.

Black Panther was knocked out by Ultron’s splode so didn’t get shot with the encephalo-beam. Iron Man had his armor drained but Black Panther was able to help him once he recovered from splode.

And Wonder Man... probably something regarding the process he’s undergoing what with the glowy eyes. His physiology is just different now. Same reason Grim Reaper’s manacles didn’t affect him, remember?

Black Panther recaps the last issue for Thor.

He does a good enough job, I guess.

I personally think I do a little better. Although, he managed to get his synopsis down to two panels. And I just words words words.

Anyway, Thor swears vengeance because its the done thing. I like to think he swears five oaths of ‘Till my death... or his!’ before breakfast. The cooks in Asgard are getting a bit unnerved.

Elsewhere, Ultron. Also, Ant-Man. And they’re not currently trying to kill each other.

I know Hank has amnesia but what’s Ultron’s excuse?

Well, he has some weird scheme.

He claims that he, Ultron, rescued Hank, Ant-Man, from his enemies. That the ‘imposter’ Avengers turned on Wasp and near fatally injured her. But Ultron rescued her because he’s so brave and handsome.

But get this: medically speaking, medically speaking the only way to save Jan is to transfer her life-force into a robot body that Ultron just so happened to have prepared ahead of time. And then they can fix the meat. Swearsies.

I’m also sure it was medically necessary to strip Jan naked, you big creep, Ultron.

Don’t think you’re off the hook either, Shooter and/or Perez.

Okay, creeper robots slash comic producers aside, Ultron has set up the process so that once Jan’s life force has been transferred it can’t be transferred back.

Then by Hank’s own hand, Jan will have been killed to give life to a woman for Ultron.

This is why he gave Hank amnesia.

Because its Ultron. Of course he’s going to go full Oedipal.

Also, apparently this technology and process fit under what a bio-physicist does?

I don’t think Hank knows what his own field is, honestly.

And then we get another full page of Hawkeye and Two-Gun at the Cheery-O’s Dude Ranch because? This has to be going somewhere. If this doesn’t have a really good payoff, I’mma be pissed.

As it is, it establishes why Hawkeye doesn’t respond to this Ultron-related emergency.

Hawkeye leaves Two-Gun to watch the phone for any calls while he goes to feed the horses.

Two-Gun gets engrossed in Marvel comics about his cowboy friends, as drawn by Jack Kirby, and gets annoyed at the ringing contraption.

So he shoots it.

It was interrupting comic time.

And he doesn’t know what a phone is.

Womp womp.

I mean, yeah, ha ha, future technology confuses and infuriates him. But were you raised in a fucking barn, Two-Gun? This is your place of employment. Don’t go shooting things just because they annoy you! You are a guest here!

Time travelers. Geez.

Back at Avengers Mansion, Thor is freshly frustrated that he still can’t reach Hawkeye.

Wonder Man wonders (hah!) aloud if Hawkeye is even worth this grief but Thor chastises him because for all his many and varied personal failings, Hawkeye has put his time in and proven himself a thousandfold to the Avengers.

And Mr. Wonderful Punched A Few Dudes thinks he can judge Hawkeye.

Elsewhere, Iron Man tries to SCIENCE a way to find where Ultron went. But Ultron left no trace or it has faded by this point.

And he has to ponder... why kidnap Jan? Well, except the obvious... But neither Iron Man or Black Panther (who is elsewhere but having a very similar train of thought) want to really delve too deeply into that thought.

I mean, come on, surely not even Ultron is that much of a creeper?

Elsewhere, Ultron is dancing his happy Oedipal dance.

Because he’s gonna have a wife! Made out of his dad’s wife’s soul! The irony is so delicious that Ultron briefly forgets that he’s supposed to be roleplaying as a polite and helpful friend to Hank Pym who doesn’t want to murder all fleshies.

Oh and the robot girlfriend (and can we seriously just take a moment to slow down and consider that Ultron built himself a robot girlfriend?) starts to move so I guess this is also the “it’s alive.... IT’S ALIIIVE” moment.

No but seriously. Ultron built himself a robot girlfriend with robot hair.

By this point, the process of having her soul sucked out and put into a robot has managed to revive the Wasp. Of course she’s blindfolded by the soul-removing blindfold and also chained to a slab. She’s not going anywhere.

But she calls for Hank, crying out in alarm that she can feel her soul slipping away. And as she does, the love doll also begins to hold up half of her conversation, finishing Jan’s sentences but also saying stuff about a magnificent superior cybernetic body.

So. Yeah. Potentially terrifying.

For some people. Losing their humanity and such. Other people go ‘wait superior cybernetic body? I would like to subscribe to your pamphlet.’

Not that Hank hears any of this. Apparently the machines that power this process are just really loud. But he’s glad he can’t hear her. I mean, he knows that he’s totally saving her life but he has this weird feeling like maybe he’s killing her? Oh well, best to barrel on regardless.

You know what makes this really dumb? There is literally nothing wrong with Jan. She was drugged unconscious but that’s wearing off now. I can only conclude that Hank Pym didn’t even check Jan’s condition and instead just blindly believed the scary murder robot that told him these things.

Ultron thinks its hilarious though. Because once Hank has finished turning his wife into a robot, Ultron is going to kill him slowly.

Because Ultron!

Meanwhile, the few surviving Avengers are still farting around aimlessly. Ultron could literally be anywhere because they have no clues.

Wonder Man is so fed up with waiting that he smashes a console and proclaims that he was created to defeat all the Avengers, single-handedly!

Thor halts his tantrum and offers some good Thor advice.

Thor: “Thou shalt crave far greater strength if the battle thou desirest comes! Do not waste the might that is thine! Mark my words, mortal! Thy first true test is yet to come!”

And then a bunch of ants show up.

Luckily for the Avengers and their lack of ant-preparedness, these are not swarming attack ants.

This is an antogram! 

Like a telegram but with ants.

They form into the shape of letters on the ground, spelling out: STARKLI.

WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!

Someone call Iron Man and have him tell us the only one thing it can mean.

Okay, so Iron Man here. Obviously the letters signify the abandoned aerospace research center of Stark industries on Long Island. And the ants signify that Ant-Man is sending a super stealthy message to the Avengers.

And really, they have no other leads to follow so yeah fuck it lets go to Long Island.

AND OFF THEY FLY, having heroic dialogue because that’s what comics is all about. Having dramatic, heroic dialogue while you’re flying off to your death.

Wait, death?

Wonder Man suddenly realizes that he might die tonight. Ultron has already killed four Avengers who will never, ever be back and even Thor is talking like he expects to die in this fight.

And Wonder Man died once and didn’t much care for it.

Later, at the abandoned aerospace research center in Long Island of all places, the point of no return is approaching. Robot wife mumbled so.

When suddenly, Black Panther spouting a pretty cool line.

Black Panther: “Turn, Ultron! Face me!”

Ultron: “Who --”

Black Panther: “The harbinger of a storm of vengeance, evil one!”

Yup. Black Panther snuck past Ultron’s sentinel devices because Black Panther almost always rolls nat 20s on stealth, except when he announces his presence to say a cool thing.

In fairness. It was a pretty cool thing. And I’m pretty sure that he gets bonuses if he says the cool things.

Then Mjolnir smashes through a wall. Thor is here too.

And Iron Man repulsors through a wall because its his building so he can break it if he wants.

Just as Ultron is sticking his foot in his mouth to announce that the three of them can’t possibly stop him, Wonder Man bursts through the ceiling.

I would laugh if every time Ultron reacted to what he thought was the new number of Avengers, another person showed up. Give me a whole issue of “And me!”

Ultron calls shenanigans on Wonder Man’s presence. He should be in a coma! He was struck by the encephalo-beam like the rest.

Wait, a coma? asks Iron Man.

Yeah, the ‘dead’ Avengers aren’t dead. Like Marvel would kill off Captain America. Can you imagine?

Prometheus aside, out of the ‘dead’ Avengers, Captain America is the only one I wouldn’t have bought them killing off in the previous issue.

Vision, Scarlet Witch, and Beast all are exclusive to Avengers at this point. Cap has his own book.

We’re all cynical today but the previous issue ended with the Avengers lying in a hero heap and this issue started with several Avengers being treated as really dead for serious. Not badly wounded. Dead.

Granted, this nonsense was pulled before with Grim Reaper’s first appearance but that was done-in-one and the whole team so obviously it wouldn’t stick. This? If you were a kid reading this back in the day, I buy that you could buy that the ‘dead’ Avengers were dead for realsies.

Ultron’s admission here is the first indication to the otherwise.

And even so, everyone shot by the encephalo-beam will die within hours if the coma-effect isn’t reversed.

The encephalo-beam is cool like that. Its like Grim Reaper’s coma-ray except better. Because Ultron built it. Both of them really but he built his toy to be cooler.

Why not keep all the best stuff for yourself, really? Its what Tony does. I learned it from watching you, dad’s friend! Slash, alternate reality dad.

Anyway, Ultron tries to encephalo-beam Thor but Iron Man blocks it.

With his head.

Way to take the encephalo, Iron Man. I’m not sure it was even necessary since Wonder Man’s weird physiology protected him from the beam somewhat and surely Asgardians have weirder physiology. Up to the point where sometimes Thor claims that radiation just doesn’t affect him and also he can breath in space.

But if the attack would have taken Thor out even for a temporary period of time, it was better for Iron Man to take it.

Because: pro-tip: his armor protected him.

And then he repulsors Ultron into an equipment bank.

Which is... pointless, really. Ultron’s chassis is built of indestructible adamantium and he has auto-repair systems which makes physically fighting him an exercise in futility.

And yet the Avengers never seem to realize that before they try punching him in the face. You’d think Iron Man would have prepared something. He’s the tech wiz and their best hope after Scarlet Witch and Hank Pym aren’t available.

But I guess he just planned to blast him through walls all day and hope that catharsis is a tangible force that can defeat robots.

Thor and Wonder Man charge to follow up on Iron Man’s attack. Even Ultron is baffled that they’re trying to stop him via punches.

But Wonder Man is dwelling on what Thor said about dying and he’s having... I don’t know. Something. He feels like he’s watching this whole thing from outside, disassociated from the whole process.

Anyway, while punches are not so effective on Adamantium/Fighting types, they’re super effective against Thor and Wonder Man and Ultron just WHAK-rRAKs them. 

That’s the sound of a superstrong robot belting two super tough dudes. Its probably like thunder with a bit of the thump of hitting flesh mixed in.

Meanwhile, Black Panther is smart enough to realize that his punches won’t do much against Ultron so he goes to see to Hank Pym.

But to his surprise, Ant-Man isn’t just putting on a pretense to lull Ultron into a false sense of security so that he can summon the Avengers to aid him. He really does think that Ultron is his partner and that the Avengers are imposters.

Also, he just finished the process so that it will complete automatically. Now he’s free to help Ultron-

WHAK!

Hah, no. Best way to stop Ant-Man from shrinking around and kicking your ass? Kick him in the head while he’s still talking.

Wonder Man is still grappling with his fear of death while trying to punch Ultron in the face. While multitasking is laudable, this time it gets him blasted by the robit. Because its slowing him down and distracting him.

Meanwhile, Iron Man has recovered (I guess from the encephalo-beam?) and has gone to help Black Panther with the robotization machine. So its up to Thor and Wonder Man.

But the controls of the device are locked and protected by a code and they’ll never figure it out in time.

Unless... they can make Ultron tell them.

Meanwhile, on the fight side of the room, Ultron has sensed Wonder Man’s hesitation and decided that he’ll be the easier victim.

Thor interprets this as a brilliant ploy by Wonder Man to get Ultron to grapple with him.

And then he just jumps right on that grapple pile, hooking Mjolnir around Ultron’s neck because? I mean, probably to harness his movements and not to strangle him. Because robot.

Even if they can’t hurt him, Thor has decided that between the two of them, they can hold him in place. I guess that’s something like strategy if you don’t ask ‘ok but now what?’

Also, Thor’s holding strategy includes one of Ultron’s hands around Wonder Man’s neck so from his perspective its perhaps not ideal.

But Iron Man has a different plan and calls over to get Ultron’s attention.

Which is: give me the release code or I melt your girlfriend.

Ultron protests that robot wife and Wasp are the same and to destroy one would destroy the other so this is totally a bluff, Iron Man wouldn’t sacrifice a comrade to thwart Ultron.

NO WAIT SECOND THOUGHT DON’T HURT MY ROBOT WIFE

So time skip to after he gives them to code and Ultron flies off in a huff, swearing vengeance.

Wonder Man tries to confess his hesitance in battle but Thor just tells him that they’ll talk later.

I really want to see that conversation and I’m mad that we probably never get to.

Black Panther reproaches Iron Man that there’s little honor in a victory won by taking a robot girl hostage but Iron Man tells him it worked so who cares.

But in his cloud like thought bubbles, he wonders what he would have done if Ultron had remained intransigent. Would he, could he have killed her and possibly the Wasp?

That’s just a question that Iron Tony will have to live with.

And now an EPILOGUE

So. Hank is still an angry amnesiac. He insists that Ultron will be back for him because they’re such bffsies and then they’ll crush the Avengers together! And also Wasp! Because obviously she has turned on him!

But Iron Man believes studying Ultron’s equipment may give them the means to restore Ant-Man’s memories.

But what if it didn’t? Spoiler: Hank later turns up with his memories back and it really could have been dwelt on more. But what if it didn’t work? What if Hank’s memories were gone forever and he believed that Ultron was his friend and he continued to hate the Avengers and Wasp? What if Ultron did come back to spring him and they teamed up again? Ultron in his head thinking the whole time that he’d likely kill Hank in the morning but the opportunity just never came up?

It would have been an interesting place for the character to go. And roughly parallel to his actual fall from grace in future issues.

As we saw last issue, Hank could be a startlingly dangerous antagonist for the Avengers. Teamed up with Ultron, they could be the ultimate dad-son villain team. Where one is constantly fantasizing about killing the other.

But in this reality, there is a lingering question. I mean, beyond whether Iron Man would murder a robot wife. Hank didn’t summon the ants that gave the Avengers the clue where to look. And Wasp denies doing it either, since Ultron took away her cybernetic collar when he was undressing her like a creeper.

Could it have been... “someone... sympathetic to Jan’s plight. Someone with sophisticated cybernetic circuitry at hand, capable of projecting a thought-impulse to nearby insects!”

Could it be that despite Iron Man’s dismissal of Robot Wife as just a thing that wasn’t really Jan, that in her brief half-life when Jan’s soul was being transferred into her, that she was more human and more like Jan than even Ultron suspected?

These are the mysteries. And I get the feeling we haven’t seen the last of Robot Wife, who will eventually get one of the more embarrassing names in comics.

By feeling, I really mean ‘I know who this character is and have seen her in other comics from many years later.’

So. A pretty good two-parter. First part let us see what Ant-Man is like when he lets get dangerouses. And the second part shows us why the Avengers need to make Ultron plans before they head out to punch Ultron.

I’m ambivalent to Ultron generally because this is how Ultron stories usually go. The Avengers try to punch the indestructible robot to death, get surprised when it doesn’t work. And also, the encephalo-beam is used as a win-button far too frequently.

But the part of Ultron stories that I do like: how do you defeat an indestructible robot? And that tends to be unique and creative every time.

Although its still frustrating that the Avengers only hit on the idea after they’ve been bloodying their knuckles on Ultron’s face for a while. They never plan! At this point, they know for sure Ultron is out there and vengeful so if they don’t have some contingencies in place next time he shows up, I’m going to be hecka nettled! It doesn’t even matter if the contingencies fail, I just want to see that the Avengers have been trying to do their homework!

Also, this starts off or at least reinforces a pretty consistent character trend: what Ultron wants most of all is companionship. He is a lonely murder robot and he doesn’t know how to make friends so he keeps trying to make friends. Making companions is even slightly more important to him than world conquest.

I also have noticed this kind of trend. What with all the guest stars that hang around and never leave, the Avengers roster is pretty bloated. Thor is on inactive membership but he’s around so often it doesn’t really matter. So you have: Captain America, Iron Man, Scarlet Witch, the Wasp, Vision, Wonder Man, Black Panther, Beast.

Eight people.

And its hard to manage a team that big and give space for everyone. And I’ve noticed a tendency for the team to be split up in some way. Like here where four of the team were ‘killed’, another two hostage or brainwashed ally of the villain, leaving a manageable four left to be the Avengers this time.

I’ll have to keep an eye out to see if sidelining continues to be a thing going forward to manage this book’s large cast.

Next time: a filler cross-over to give some breathing room before the next big thing that pushes the Avengers to their limits.

#Avengers #Ultron #Ant Man #Thor #Iron Man #Wonder Man #The Wasp #Jocasta #Black Panther #Essential marvel liveblogging #Essential Avengers #fighting ultron is like talking to a wall with your fists #the wall thinks you're a fool #Iron Man takes a bullet for Thor #a startling lack of planning ahead #Wonder Man has a reasonable response to danger

[madness-narrative]

This video is really for those of you out there who have a personal relationship to suicide, to suicidal feelings, to suicidal urges, to suicidal thoughts. To those of you who aren't sure that life is worth living, I can totally relate and that's been a really big part of my story. I've been spending  a lot of time this past week on the same hospital unit that I was brought to by helicopter when I tried to kill myself in 2008. I don't remember my time on the unit there at all, I was in a coma, but I do remember waking up and I remember the tubes being pulled out of my throat, I remember the bright white light above my bed and the voices of my parents and of unfamiliar people and I remember more than anything just that pain in my heart as I realised that I was still alive and that I'd failed. And it feels so close and so far away because today my life is so incredibly different today from what it was back then and it's so familiar. I remember so vividly what it felt like to have not a shred of hope in my life, to have not a shred of connection to anything in my life. I remember so vividly what it felt like to just to yearn for death which to me was the only opportunity I'd have for peace. And I just feel that a lot right now. If you're out there and you're not sure that life is worth living for you, I think if I was to suggest anything, I think it would be first and foremost to listen to that. This idea, you know I've really learned a lot by reading a man named David Webb, by reading a book he wrote called Thinking about Suicide which I really encourage any and all people out there to read. But I think I spent 9 years thinking about death everyday and in that time period I spent many many years seriously considering my death and I think the one opportunity that I never had in that whole time was the opportunity to listen to what that meant. You know, why did I want to die? What did that mean to me? What in my life was leading me to want to end it? I spent so much time trying to get rid of my suicidal feelings, you know, in countless hours of therapy, in countless pill bottles, admitting myself to psych wards to keep me safe from myself. I spent years just trying to eradicate my urge to die. And all it did was bring me closer to my death. You know if you're out there, and you're thinking about death, I think the first most important step is to listen to that and to explore it and to not be afraid of it. I think fear, fear of oneself, is perhaps the most powerful fear and I'm only newly discovering that my thoughts and my emotions are nothing to be afraid of. I spent a long time being told, you know, 'Laura, you can't trust yourself. You can't trust your thoughts. You can't trust your emotions. You're mentally ill. If you listen to yourself, you're inevitably going to kill yourself.' So I grew to fear myself and to fear my capacity for self-destruction. And let me tell you, I was quite self-destructive for a long period of time, so it seemed to be a valid fear to have. But what I see now is what a vicious cycle that whole thought process was because the more I grew to fear myself, the more I surrendered agency basically over my emotions, convinced that I was, that this disease that I supposedly had, that psychiatrists told me I had, was taking me over and so the more I surrendered my agency to the so-called disease the more self-destructive my life became because what was the point in trying to take care of myself or to create a life worth living when I was at the mercy of my bipolar disorder? So I think for me the first most important step was realising that I was nothing to be afraid of. And you know that stands in contrast to what a lot of what the mental health system tells us. If you're out there and you have a psychiatric diagnosis and you see professionals regularly, likely they've told you, 'If you're thinking about death you need to call us immediately or you need to go to your local emergency room. You need to admit yourself to a psych ward because you need other people to take care of you, you can't do it on your own.' And I'm by no means saying we should all be out there on our own trying to rough it in isolation because I think as human beings we need community and we need connection. But I think a really important step for me was realising that there's no one out there who has the answers to my life and to my pain. There's no one, it doesn't matter how many years they spent in school, or how many degrees they have after their name, there's no one out there who knows me better than I know myself which was a hard thing to realise because for so long I was sure that I had no idea who I was. I looked in the mirror and I saw a stranger looking back. So if you're out there and you're thinking about death, I encourage you to walk through the fear of yourself and listen to to that. You are not broken. This isn't some brain disease implanting thoughts of suicide in your mind. I truly believe that the urge to die is a really meaningful experience that's rooted in life experiences. And I think for so many people, I know for me, I yearned to die only after I began to think of myself as broken and as less than human and as abnormal. And the more I isolated myself and the more I came to believe that I could never fit into the human race because of my so-called mental illness, the more desperate I became. So I think it also begins with realising you're not broken. You're not different. You're not a lost cause. You're not at the mercy of some disease in your brain. You're a human being, suffering, yearning for meaning, yearning for joy, yearning for peace, whatever it is and that's an incredibly valid and important search that I think almost all human beings go through at some point. You know, what's the purpose of my life? Why am I here? What does this all mean? When I came to think about my urge to die really as an urge to live just in an entirely different way that freed me up to stay present with what I was thinking and feeling because it meant in truth, that I wanted change and there's nothing more ultimate of a change than death so I think once I realised that that was really at the heart of my urge to die I began to explore living. And it was so hard especially in the beginning because I had no idea how to be human. You know over ten years in the mental health system had reduced me to this mental patient who didn't know how to sit with herself, who didn't trust herself, who was completely surrendered to mental health professional after mental health professional who carried a dopp kit of ten pill bottles with her wherever she went like they were her security blanket. That was me only four years ago and today I'm in such a different place. And if you're out there and you just don't see a chance for yourself, don't see a glimmer of hope, that's okay. I remember what that felt like. You know this past week spending all this time in this icu I just realised how beautiful it is to be human and the potential to transform, how unbelievably powerful it is and it starts with believing it's possible. And back then, when I was in that bed, just in so much pain at the discovery that I was still alive, you know I hadn't yet connected with my human spirit and with my human potential to change. I'd just given up on myself. And I think also, speaking for myself, as long as I was on medications which numbed me and disconnected me from myself, from my sexuality, from my ability to feel love, as long as I was thinking about myself as mentally ill and as different, I stood no chance of grasping a meaningful life. I had to liberate myself from my psychiatrisation. I had to awaken from my mentally ill identity. And that's been hard work but in doing so it's reconnected me to my humanness. And I think every human being out there has the potential for transformation and to be human. And if you're out there and you're feeling like you're too far gone, I know you're not. I don't even, I may never know you, but I know that you have everything you need inside of you to find a meaningful life. So I guess I woke up this morning just feeling compelled to speak about this because of how much gratitude I have for my life's journey. All of those years of darkness and of pain and of hopelessness, none of them were in vain because they allowed me to get to the point where I am today, which is one full of pain, I still struggle, I still get overwhelmed and confused by what life is and how I'm meant to be a part of it, but today my life is full of so much beauty, even when it's painful. And I'm so connected to my humanness, to the fact that I'm a part of the human race, part of this earth,  part of this life force, that I was so disconnected from when I was medicated and so-called bipolar, and man, gratitude is such a beautiful  thing. I remember for so many years my dad used to say, 'Laura, if you can just find anything, just one tiny little thing that brings you positivity or happiness' and I was so mad at him because I was utterly incapable of feeling anything happy or joyful for so long. And I know now it was largely because of how deep I'd gone into the mental health system but I see where he was coming from today. And I think today because I'm no longer afraid of myself like I used to be and because I'm no longer afraid of pain, I've realised that life is about pain. The purpose of life is not the absence of suffering. It's to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, even all the suffering and to see it as something meaningful. You know now that I see all of that, I'm able to have peace and joy even in the midst of the storms and man, there's a storm right now, it's just life. I'm so sad today I'm so confused I'm so aware of how fragile life is, I'm also aware of gratitude and beauty. So if you're out there, and you're yearning to die, I feel you and I'm listening to you and I encourage you to listen to yourself. And to surround yourself with people who aren't going to label you mentally ill and tell you there's something wrong with you because you don't want to be here anymore. I encourage you to surround yourself with people who accept you and who will listen to you and who will unconditionally be present with you and if you don't have access to those kinds of people start with finding us on the internet. There are amazing communities of people who've been in our shoes online because you are not alone, and man, when I realised just three and a half years ago that I wasn't alone, that I wasn't the only one in the world who felt the way I felt, it was like a million pounds were lifted off my shoulders. So come find me at recoveringfrompsychiatry.com or at facebook or on twitter. And I know that if you're out there and you're yearning to die, there's meaning in that experience and no matter how hopeless you feel, you just hang in there and stay present with what you're feeling and you'll see it perhaps as an urge to live just in a very different way. That's taking the first step on this journey of life that is so painful and confusing and scary but also so beautiful if you just hang in there and believe it's possible. I send you love and liberation and gratitude.

Laura Delano, Reflections on Life, Death, and Suicide [transcript mine]

#radical mental health #suicide #suicidal #laura delano

[matchyourdeoxyribonucleicac-blog]

Blog #2

Hey guys, welcome to my second blog! I’ve finally finished my ISU book, The One by John Marrs. There are so many things I want to tell you all! The first one being...if you haven’t read this book already, go do it, NOW! You’re seriously missing out on a great, wholesome book. Whew, since I got that out, let’s dive deeper into this novel.

In terms of major thematic issues, The One has, well, more than one. Thematic issues that are prevalent throughout the novel include mental strength, appearance versus reality and deception. The issue of mental strength arises when the 5 main characters are willing to change their lives drastically based off of a result from Match Your DNA. Each and every one of these characters are not strong enough to mentally resist the desire of being close with the one and only person that they’re allegedly supposed to be with. For example, Mandy becomes pregnant with the child of her Match, Richard (who she’s never met). Richard’s family urged Mandy to essentially be the surrogate for his child, and she couldn’t say no. Christopher eases off with his psychopathic tendencies and starts to want to give up on his serial killer ways just because he believes he is falling in love with his Match, Amy. Jane drops a ton of money on travelling from England to Australia to meet her Match, Kevin, even though she’s already broke. Nick destroys his marriage by leaving his fiancée Sally for his male Match, Alex. Ellie risks her whole business by letting her Match, Tim, into her life. All of these drastic changes occur in their lives because they all truly believe in Match Your DNA and think that they have to do everything and anything to be with their biological Match. This examines the gullible nature of man. Your life could be perfectly fine but of course if you’re offered something a bit better, almost anyone would take that, even if you risk losing everything.

The thematic issue of appearance versus reality/deception can be seen through many developing characters throughout the novel as well as through the centerpiece of the story - Match Your DNA. Now that I’ve finished the book, I know that almost everything is not what it seems to be. It becomes apparent at the end of the book that Ellie’s Match, Matthew (who WAS Tim but he lowkey changed his identity and everything and planned on ruining the Match Your DNA website his whole life), hacked into the Match Your DNA and messed with the algorithm and coding, which mismatched over 2 million people. These mismatched people were all deceived big time. Many of them likely left their partners to be with their supposed Match, though in reality it’s all a lie. We also see deception through the experiences of every character. Mandy is deceived by her Match, Richard’s mother and sister, who told Mandy he was passed away. She later comes into contact with an ex-girlfriend of his and discovers that he is alive, just in a coma, “‘Death?’ Michelle looked confused. ‘Who told you Rich was dead? He’s still very much alive.’.”. She’s already pregnant with his child at this point, because Richard’s mom, Pat, and sister, Chloe, convinced her to use his sperm sample. Christopher deceived his police officer girlfriend, Amy, by acting clueless about all the murders going on, while he was the serial killer the whole time, “‘I don’t think I’ll ever get my head around why someone could be compelled to take so many lives. What’s the point?’ said Amy. For the challenge, Christopher thought to himself…’I don’t know,’ he instead replied, and thought it was best to comfort her again.”.. Jane was deceived by Kevin’s brother, Mark, because since Kevin had terminal cancer, Mark wanted him to have someone to love and let him believe that Jane was his Match when in reality, Jane was Mark’s Match, “‘She’s being honest, Mum,’ Mark interrupted. ‘Jade couldn’t fall in love with him. She wasn’t his Match.’ Both women turned their heads quickly toward Mark. He swallowed hard before he spoke. ‘And I know that Kev wasn’t her DNA Match because...because she’s Matched with me.’.”. Nick was deceived by his fiancée Sally because she falls pregnant, but not with his baby. She was pregnant with the child of Nick’s best friend, Deepak (note: Nick and Sally are Caucasian, while Deepak is Indian), “Sally’s baby boy had been taken from her womb by emergency cesarean section as she died. He was alive, and his skin was as dark brown as his hair.”. Finally, Ellie was deceived by Matthew/Tim because as I said before, he literally lied about who he was and attempted to ruin her billion dollar enterprise, “You and I are a mis-Match, Ellie, because I hacked into your servers to manipulate our results.’.”.

I believe that in my novel, John Marrs is trying to examine the complexity of human desires. He expertly creates 5 fictitious yet relatable characters who all have these desires they would like fulfilled. He clearly understands the human psyche because he incorporates many psychological elements throughout the story, which I discussed in my previous blog. The storyline made me re-evaluate what extents I would go to in order to get what I want. It also makes me think about how risky of a person I am. Personally, I’m not sure what I would do if I was in a happy relationship and then I get an email from Match Your DNA saying that there’s somebody else I’m meant to be with. Especially if it could be a potential mismate. I believe that John Marrs is successful in conveying the messages of “be careful what you wish for”, and “everything is not what it seems”. He shows how millions of people all over the world are sending in DNA samples, hoping they’ll get Matched with someone good. They get their results back, and their Match isn’t all they’ve expected. For example, Matthew’s mom was Matched, left her husband for him, and then he ended up being seriously abusive and horrible. I understand that (before Matthew hacked the system) you’re biologically predetermined to be together, but it’s all about nature vs nurture in my opinion. Your Match could be born with that one gene that matches yours but if they’re raised much different than you and end up developing this bad personality, you really aren’t supposed to be with them anymore. I think that since this book provoked so many questions and conflicts in myself, that Marrs was successful in conveying the underlying messages and themes to the reader.

I can connect to these messages in my everyday life. I always see people, and they’ll look great on the outside and I always wish I could be like them. What I don’t know though is that their life might suck behind the scenes, and that they’re really good at hiding it. I’ve learned that you should be happy with the life that you have (unless you’re starving or something, then you can be unhappy with your life), and that you shouldn’t risk it all in hopes that something a bit better is coming. People are never truly grateful for what they have and they always work towards getting that new car or that new house or those new shoes. I mean, of course it’s okay to upgrade your things every once in a while. But if that’s all you ever think about in life, you’ll never be happy. The messages in The One have challenged my belief of you can just be happy with what you have in life. I’m starting to think that might not be true because as humans in a working, evolving world we always strive for more and to essentially be better than everyone else. We also strive for reassurance. Reassurance from our boss that we’re doing a good job, reassurance from our family that we are making them proud, and just like the characters in my novel, reassurance that our partner is the one we are 100% supposed to be with.

Something that I keep thinking about is, how trustworthy is science? Millions of people in this story got duped, though not intentionally by the company, into having a false Match. The Match Your DNA company was based off of years of scientific research and proof, yet it still got tampered with. This makes me scared about real life companies and industries, for example the pharmaceutical industry. I wonder if they put ingredients into our medicine that we don’t know about, or maybe give us the wrong medicine sometimes. I mean, if a pharmacist gave me something and told me it’s antibiotics, I’m believing them. Just like how everyone believed their Match Your DNA results. Also, everyone believed the whole concept of Match Your DNA because they trusted that the gene the company had discovered was actually a gene that determined who you should spend the rest of your life with. This relates to companies nowadays who claim if you do this diet you’ll cure your cancer and other stuff. Do they really care about our health, or about the money? This concerns me because I am hoping for a future in the healthcare field, and I never want to have to bend the truth for my patients.

Another piece of media that has a similar message is Coraline, a 2009 film directed by Henry Selick. The movie trailer literally says “be careful what you wish for”. It’s about a young girl named Coraline who wishes she had another family. She then discovers a new family, virtually identical to hers, whom she visits every night. Things take a dark twist fairly quickly when the new family wants Coraline to stay forever, and she finds the ghosts of the other children they stole. It shows you that you should just be happy with what you have, and not to wish for something “perfect”, because it might not be everything you’re hoping for.

I believe that The One by John Marrs truly is a good book. It has 5 main characters who are thoroughly developed, whose mental processes are relatable and whose lives are all unique and interesting. Creating 5 different personalities, alongside almost 10 more personalities for minor characters isn’t easy, so I give Marrs credit for that. The plot was easy to follow and had many twists that pulled the reader along. Each chapter ends with a cliffhanger, so you never want to put the book down. I can attest to that - I finished this book in one sitting. I couldn’t stop reading! I especially loved this book because of its connections to science and genetics, 2 things I am genuinely interested in. If Marrs comes out with a sequel, I’m definitely reading it.

Love,

Rachel xx

[theboobguide-blog]

The Ultimate Boob Guide — Deadly Risks

Welcome to the first of hopefully many articles to come about Boob Jobs (BJ for short). Now let’s get straight to business. If you’re not already aware, BJ is a surgery and requires you to get a general anesthesia (a complete knockout on the doc’s table). And if you’re a normal human being, you can’t help but be nervous thinking about it. In fact, more likely than not, your self-preservation instincts kick in and you are asking the really important question: IS IT SAFE? Well, the short answer is: NO. The thing is — no surgery is completely safe. You can die or have serious complications.

In this article, I will tackle the worst thing that can happen to you undertaking a breast augmentation surgery — death. I divide this into two segments. One talking about the immediate threat to one’s life (during or quickly post-op) and the other one where BJ effects can kill you in the long run. But before I start, I have to make one thing clear: this article is not about persuading you to get a BJ or not by lying how harmless it is or by scaring you how extremely dangerous it is. If you want that, there are plenty of biased articles out there. Instead, my goal is to present facts and numbers that would help you to decide yourself.

The immediate threat

There are only a handful of recorded cases where patients died during or immediately post BJ surgery. Here is one widely reported case back in 2008¹where a teenager girl died during the operation. The thing is, she didn’t die because of BJ. She died because of something called Malignant Hyperthermia, which is a hereditary susceptibility to anesthesia. Which means, whether you’re getting a BJ or any other surgery under anesthesia, if you have this trait — you can potentially die. Good news is: it is very rare. Bad news: it requires some serious tests (besides being knocked out) such as muscle biopsy or genetic analysis to know you have it.

You might be wondering what are the chances you have it. I’m happy to answer. The numbers are, in fact, not that bad. According to an article from Orphanet Journal of Rare Diseases², 1 in 5000 to 100000 of all who got anesthesia have experienced some kind of Malignant Hyperthermia. But if we go for an overly pessimistic account, the predicted probability might in the ballpark of 1 in 2000. Here’s a positive twist though: out of all of those who got it, only 5% die if they get proper treatment on time. Putting this into numbers normal people can understand we get that 1 in 40000 person dies from the condition. But your chances are even lower if you’re a female. In fact, you’re 2.5–4.5 times less likely to have it compared to males.

Generally speaking, it is so rare that hospitals almost never see it happen. But if you have the time and money for the tests — I see no reason not to do it. Speaking of which, you probably should do it if you know a relative who has this condition. Most likely you have inherited it yourself too. Now to be completely on the safe side, there’s one more thing you need to take into account. The medicine, for when you go critical, is expensive and has an expiration date, so only bigger hospitals stock it up. A thing to consider when deciding where you will get a BJ.

As for other cases. There’s this very old case written by LA Times back in 1990³ where death was due to medical negligence (deprived of oxygen). That same article mentions even an older case where a patient had a heart attack. Out of more recent ones (2012) as reported by Dailymail⁴, it was suspected that breast augmentation triggered a dormant Tuberculosis causing death. A very recent (2017) incident happened in Vietnam⁵ where a Vietnamese woman did not know she was 17 weeks pregnant and had Lupus.

All in all, I’m sure there are more cases like these. But as you can see, this has less to do with BJ itself as more to the fact that it’s a surgery, which is always a risk.

As the last bit about sudden deaths here are some interesting statistics. Ever wondered about average overall surgery mortality rates? The so-called Perioperative Mortality? Turns out there are numerous studies that try to answer this question. In the largest one to date (2010), done in Netherlands, where over 3.7 million surgeries where reviewed⁶, the mortality rate was 1.85%. Now, in comparison to BJ numbers, it’s extremely high. And there is a good reason for that. Mammoplasty itself is a rather simple procedure as told by many surgeons. Of course the degree of difficulty varies based on patient’s condition and approach, but in general, if you are a healthy young person, BJ in all likelihood will not kill you.

The hidden long-term threat

So far I’ve only talked about the immediate threat to one’s life. Let’s talk about something that might appear only after years and years post-BJ. There is this one word we all dread… Cancer. Just from hearing this word most people start to feel uneasy. And for a good reason. Statistics from UK cancer research institute going back to 2012⁷ tells us that more than 8.2 million die from cancer yearly.

So how is this related to BJ? Well, it wasn’t until 2011 when the link was identified and acknowledged by Federal Drug Administration (FDA)⁸ between breast implants and anaplastic large-cell lymphoma (ALCL). So far there were 359 of such cases out of 10 million in the US. Most were successfully treated either surgically or with chemotherapy. But not all! There are 9 reported deaths associated with post breast augmentation ALCL. Of course, it is hard to draw conclusions from this, but it’s a fair warning and should be a concern.

But let’s put those numbers into perspective. According to a meta-analysis article in 2014 which took into account all relevant studies⁹, chances of getting ALCL are one in a million. So pretty low if you ask me. But then again, A very recent announcement from Australian TGA put it in the ballpark of 1 out of 1000-10000¹⁰. The link is clear and you should seriously consider this fact. Especially if your family or relatives have a history of cancer.

Besides ALCL, there’s one more thing that needs to be explained. Mammograms (screening for breast cancer) with implants are hard. The implant blocks X-rays and according to a 2004 study on BJ mammogram accuracy¹¹, chances of missing cancer is 55% with implants compared to 33% without. That being said, there are different techniques of doing mammograms. For example, 3D is better than 2D. There are also specific ways of improving mammograms for people with implants, which involve implant displacement (Eklund views) so that the doctor can see breast tissue more clearly. Other methods that might be utilized for breast cancer detection also include MRI and Thermography (thermal imaging instead of X-rays).

In any case, implants definitely do not help with check-ups for breast cancer. So that is another major point to consider, especially if you are past 40. Now, as far as it goes for other long-term life-threatening risks, there’s not much else to say. But while this sounds good, it could be exactly the opposite. The thing with BJ is that it’s something that stays with the person for many years. Thus predicting what will happen after 10 or 20 years is very hard. Not due to lack of trying though. At one point FDA asked two implant companies (Natrelle and Mentor) to conduct large long-term studies¹² of patients using their implants. Suffice to say it didn’t go very well. Reason being — very soon people failed to follow-up so the studies sort of fell out. Nonetheless, work in this area is continuing and every year more data is being gathered in other such similar studies.

So there you have it, folks. Like I said in the beginning — BJs are not safe. What I tried to answer in this article is how much are they not safe. You are all free to draw conclusions by yourselves. To some of you those numbers might be reasonable to some — not so much. In any case, the question of safety doesn’t stop here. We need to go deeper and understand the potential complications post-surgery. Read about this next week in The Ultimate Boob Guide: Complication Risks.

Resources:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/story?id=4520099 — Florida Teen Dies After Complications During Breast Surgery

https://ojrd.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1750-1172-2-21 — Malignant hyperthermia

http://articles.latimes.com/1990-03-22/local/me-1152_1_laguna-beach — Death Follows Breast Implant: Medicine: A Laguna Beach mother just wanted to improve her bust line. She sank into a coma and died four days later.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2169605/Devoted-mother-dies-heart-failure-implants-trigger-dormant-TB.html — Devoted mother-of-four dies from heart failure after implants trigger dormant TB

http://vietnamnet.vn/vn/suc-khoe/suc-khoe-24h/ket-luan-vu-co-gai-nang-nguc-khi-mang-thai-tu-vong-o-sai-gon-396258.html — Kết luận vụ cô gái nâng ngực khi mang thai, tử vong ở Sài Gòn

http://anesthesiology.pubs.asahq.org/article.aspx?articleid=1932850 — Postoperative Mortality in The Netherlands: A Population-based Analysis of Surgery-specific Risk in Adults

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/health-professional/cancer-statistics/worldwide-cancer#heading-One — Worldwide cancer statistics

https://www.fda.gov/MedicalDevices/ProductsandMedicalProcedures/ImplantsandProsthetics/BreastImplants/ucm239995.htm — Breast Implant-Associated Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma (BIA-ALCL)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4271758/ — Update on anaplastic large cell lymphoma in women with breast implants

https://www.tga.gov.au/alert/breast-implants-and-anaplastic-large-cell-lymphoma — Breast implants and anaplastic large cell lymphoma

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14747501 — Effect of breast augmentation on the accuracy of mammography and cancer characteristics.

https://www.fda.gov/downloads/medicaldevices/productsandmedicalprocedures/implantsandprosthetics/breastimplants/ucm260090.pdf — FDA Update on the Safety of Silicone Gel-Filled Breast Implants

#plastic surgery #breast augmentation #breast implants #breast cancer #health

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #166: Day of the Godslayer!

December, 1977

The cover is right. If you had told me after Avengers #13 that that goofus would come back as an Evil Superman, I would have said ‘I can’t tell if you are joking for comics are a silly place.’

Speaking of though. This is the third issue in the Evil Superman Count Nefaria arc. And he’s fighting a computer.

I wonder when Richard Pryor is going to show up.

Last time: Count Nefaria assembled a new Lethal Legion (Whirlwind, Power Man, and Living Laser) as part of a ruse to steal their powers and turn himself into Evil Superman. And then he did do that. Then he beat up the Avengers, dropped a building on them, had a talk that got Too Real with the Whizzer, and beat up the Avengers again. And then Thor showed up.

And then he do what Thors do and throws the hammer.

Also apparently he was teleported into this story against his will and has no idea whats going on or how he got here.

Which is a relatable feeling in this day and age really.

So Nefaria wanted Thor but now that he has Thor he doesn’t know if he wants him anymore. He got hit by Mjolnir pretty hard and even if he survived it and Thor marvels at Nefaria’s power out loud, Nefaria still begs Thor to stay away.

But instead of that, more punching.

Having tanked two Thor hits Nefaria is getting his confidence back a bit. Why should he fear Thor if he’s done his worst and Nefaria has survived it?

Clearly Thor should fear Nefaria and his eye lasers.

Which feels like tempting fate. 

Because even though they’re only two hits into this fight, Thor decides to throw Nefaria through a random portal into apparently airless space where he will possibly asphyxiate and die.

Geez, Thor.

In fairness though. The man is trying to steal his hammer.

Because we get more of Nefaria’s thought process here. He’s afraid of old age now that he has gained so much power. So he wants immortality. Thor is immortal. The hammer is the source of Thor’s power. Therefore, Mjolnir can make Nefaria immortal!

The logic is unassailable!

Or very assailable. Thor immediately calls him a fool embracing rumors and lies to build his false hope.

But also: imagine how hilarious it would be if Thor went ‘okay you want Mjolnir? Here’ and just handed Mjolnir to Nefaria. And Mjolnir immediately plummeted as it do when held by the unworthy pratfalling Nefaria to the ground.

Comics, why must you fail to do the best things sometimes?

Oh. I side-tracked myself.

How does Nefaria deal with a mystic suck portal?

He drops an entire skyscraper on it to clog it up.

Apparently one can clog up a mystic portal as long as you have enough wreckage.

It helps that the wreckage also falls on Thor.

That’s two buildings now that Nefaria has knocked over. This is a level of casual property destruction that I don’t think we’ve had so much before in Avengers.

Anyway, Nefaria decides that Thor is Totally Dead Forever just like he thought the Avengers were. And his train of thought then takes him to shit I’d better kill the Avengers in case they get their third wind.

And then Thor busts out from the rubble seriously nettled and unleashes Thunder God mode.

I mean Thunder God is what he always is. If he were a MtG card it would say Summon Deity - Thunder God, possibly. But he’s not really thunder godding it unless he’s yelling something at the heavens and making the skies crack open with lightning and rain.

He’s got to be behaving exactly like a taller Darla Dimple with better hair basically.

His summoned lightning strikes Mjolnir and charges it up with electricity. Because when you absolutely have to cave someone’s face in why not also electrocute them?

But when he swings down at Nefaria as hard as he can, Nefaria catches Mjolnir and halts its swing.

Much like Not-Evil Superman would later do in Justice League/Avengers before kicking Thor’s ass.

This does not bode well for the god of thunder.

So lets cut away and hope that some time off-screen will dull this bode.

I know what everyone has been wondering. What is Beast up to?

Shut up, yes you were.

Who else would you wonder about? Yellowjacket? Vision?

Fine, they’re here too. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

So basically in the previous issue, Yellowjacket ran from the fight. In fairness, Nefaria is out of his league. But still, shaaaaaaaaaame, says Beast.

But Yellowjacket had a good reason. He’s fighting with his strongest muscle: SCEINCE!

Nefaria is kicking their ass. So its absolutely ludicrous not to have one of their biggest guns available.

Yellowjacket scienced up a risky technique for instantly reviving Vision from his coma in the goo tank. Or it might kill him.

DARE HE TAKE THIS RISK?

Oh. Damn, really? Didn’t even milk the conundrum for a single panel before going ahead with it?

Okay. Yes. The Vision is revived. It was a risky procedure and it could have been dwelt on a little more for some damn melodrama.

I guess it had to happen anyway so why dwell? If you say in the first chapter that there is a robot in a goo tube, in the second or third chapter it must absolutely go off. If you’re not going to fire that robot, it shouldn’t be in that goo tube. Anton Chekhov said that, possibly while fighting the Klingons.

But here’s a potential consequence: the Vision has seemingly become even more robotic and Beast wonders if he didn’t maybe Come Back Wrong.

Meanwhile outside, Nefaria punches Thor’s handsome face.

And oh hey Thor dropped his hammer, Nefaria calls dibs.

Before he can grab it, Vision floats up to stop him.

I do wonder why they’re playing so cagey with the hammer. An obvious thing to do would be for Nefaria to try to pick up Mjolnir and fail because he’s prooooobably not worthy. And then he can get even more incensed and desperate because he was pinning his hopes on gaining immortality.

But he gets interrupted before he can even try and I wonder why.

Anyway.

Vision floats up in front of him and tries to do the Vision thing that Vision do where Vision sticks his fist in you.

But it fails. Something about the changes to Nefaria’s physiology makes it so Vision cannot penetrate Nefaria even intangible.

Which logically also means that Nefaria can punch Vision, even intangible. Which he does.

Meanwhile, watching Vision get knocked on his ass from the shadows nearby, the sunglasses asshole. Remember him?

Anyway, we learn more about his mysterious plan. He’s going to...

SNEAK INTO AVENGERS MANSION THROUGH ONE OF THE VARIOUS NEFARIA-INDUCED PUNCH HOLES AND TAKE PICTURES

the fiend.

But seriously, you better believe that this isn’t the last we’ll see of this sunglasses asshole.

Meanwhile, inside the Mansion. Jarvis tends to the Wasp because somebody has to remember that she was injured when a car was thrown through the building.

But as soon as she regains consciousness she gets up because hey that’s Count Nefaria out there and he’s apparently Evil Superman now. No way Wasp is not going to involve herself in that.

Meanwhile for the third time, Professor Sturdy (y’know, that Nazi scientist that helped Zemo build the Wonder Man machine and later helped Nefaria with Project N) rams through the police barricade, crashes his car when the police shoot out the tires, and then limps to the fight.

And boy is Nefaria surprised to see him.

Because obviously Nefaria turned on him and the rest of the scientists as soon as he didn’t need them anymore.

Remember the incredibly unsubtle ominous foreshadowing he gave them?

And yet they still cursed his sudden yet inevitable betrayal when he attempted to murder them all to prevent them from ever empowering anyone like him.

But maybe he should have slowed his roll because like with Wonder Man before Nefaria, Sturdy built a control in when he was empowering a dude.

Professor Sturdy: “Have not you noticed yet, Nefaria? You are aging at an incredible rate! A month for every ten minutes... a year for every two hours -- you vill be dead in two days!”

Count Nefaria: “oh... god, no! it -- its true! my face is... older!”

Professor Sturdy: “Only I know how to control your aging process... Nefaria! Only I could have... saved you!” -dies-

Count Nefaria: “i -- i’m dying. my life is slipping away!”

Thor attempts to emphasize with Count Nefaria. Asks him to surrender so that the Avengers can use the many scientists and such on the team to save his life.

But Nefaria was already in a lather about the prospect of dying in fifty years. Being told he has two days to live? He’s quite beyond reasoning.

Count Nefaria: “Didn’t you hear Sturdy? Only he could have saved me -- and he’s dead! I killed him! Arrhh! It’s too late! Do you hear? Too late! I’m going to di-i-i-e!”

And then he flies off to destroy New York City because if he’s going to die, he’ll at least gain a kind of immortality through infamy as the guy who melted New York.

Meanwhile, Wasp does her part by gently papping the unconscious Avengers in the face until they wake up. The Avenger’s third wind came on fairy wings. Or something. 

Cap is too beat up to rejoin the fight but he passes his shield off to Wonder Man.

Which is honestly kind of a touching moment? I mean, in the midst of all of Wonder Man’s doubts about whether he’s worthy of being an Avenger, Cap just trusts him with his shield? Wonder Man is certainly touched, even though he doesn’t feel he deserves it.

Elsewhere, Nefaria melting the city. Just Nefaria things.

Also, Vision ponders having a fresh new existential quandary. And he just got over one!

Vision: “How odd! In his madness he desires that great masses precede him thru the portal of death... to better mark in history his passing? Human foibles should not be new to me, and yet -- it is as if I have forgotten them in my hiatus from life! Still, is it not a human experience to awaken after a brush with death and see everything as if for the first time?”

I have to wonder where they’re going with this. And I’m kind of worried. There’s a tendency to backslide characters to a state that’s perceived as more true to the character.

For Vision this can mean rewinding any progress he makes on being or perceiving himself as more human. And while I love robo-angst, I have to worry about someone Byrneing up Vision’s development.

This isn’t even the first time he’s had a near death experience! Its like the third! Still, I’ll wait and see where its going. Or cheat by peeking ahead. You’ll never know.

Anyway, Vision saves some crowds by vaporizing some rubble that was going to fall on them. Also he punches Nefaria out of the air. Because Vision can fly by altering his density. Neferia can only jump hella high. Very like early Superman.

And while Nefaria slams into the ground, the rest of the Avengers rush to dogpile him, leaving Nefaria to both lament and rue that he didn’t finish them off like he kept meaning to but kept forgetting to do.

And yeah. The Avengers just beat on him for a while. Yeah, he’s stronger and faster than them. But there’s just so many Avengers coming out of the woodwork and all swapping in and out before he can seriously hurt them. And Iron Man shows up. And then Thor.

And then Scarlet Witch continues her trend of just Scarlet Witching these books but good and uses her probability manipulation powers to create a probability where Nefaria is just filled with a mind-numbing burst of pain. What are the odds!

Oh and then Thor punches him into a building which then falls on him. Because turnabout is fair play.

And yet even all of this isn’t enough to knock Nefaria down because he got up again.

All of that and they only staggered him. And as he staggers out of the rubble he vows that he’ll kill the Avengers before he dies.

What does it take to put this guy down? A kinetic bomb?

A kinetic bomb.

Vision has flown a full mile above the fight. He increases his mass and density to their ultimate and

P

L

U

M

M

E

T

S

BUTHOOM!

Hits Nefaria dead on. Although counter to my word choice, both of them survive. Damn, Nefaria is one tough son of a gun.

Because Vision hitting the ground at full mass and density at terminal speed? Impacted hard enough that they felt it in Vermont. Not only felt it but a seismic station picked up readings like someone had just dropped a hydrogen bomb on New York City.

Weirdly, the impact doesn’t seem so drastic in the actual art. The Avengers aren’t even a block away and don’t seem to be affected.

You’d think there’d be more surrounding destruction but I’m no physicist. Or even very good at math. And sometimes language baffles me.

But even though the Avengers just knocked down a dude that's been giving them trouble for three issues, it is not a time for smiles and such. There is too much fallout and unaired grievances and resentments.

Iron Man demands answers from Thor accounting for him appearing and disappearing only when the Avengers are in deep shit.

(I thought Thor was on inactive duty? The point of that is that he doesn’t need to be available at all times, I thought)

But Captain America, who I guess has limped to the battle from the mansion, turns the questioning on Iron Man. He says that the Avengers have hit bottom while Iron Man has been a leader in absentia.

Also, Vision implies to Scarlet Witch that they need to talk about their relationship which worries me what with his new apparently more robotic demeanor.

Yellowjacket breaks up the fight, pointing out that they really should take care of Count Nefaria before he shakes off that one ton headache and the Avengers have to fight him again.

Here’s the thing: Professor Sturdy was only mostly dead. He‘s totally dead now but he was barely alive when Yellowjacket came across him. And the Nazi scientist told Yellowjacket how to depower Nefaria.

But the real ironic note here is that Sturdy had lied about Nefaria’s accelerated aging. While there was some rapid aging, it was just a temporary side effect. Actually, the super energy he had been enhanced with made him effectively immortal.

Nefaria’s murderous temper tantrum was for literally nothing!

Oh. One final note.

On a dock in Vladivostok, a mysterious old man looks at a locket containing pictures of Wanda and Pietro (Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver) and then boards a steamer that will take him to America “and a long-delayed reunion with his beloved children.”

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

Geez. Even in 1977 wild retcons about the Maximoff’s parentage were the Thing To Do, I guess.

(I’ve actually read ahead and know where this is going)

So time for Count Nefaria thoughts.

I’ve said in the past who disappointing I thought it was that original flavor master planner Count Nefaria didn’t appear more often as an Avengers villain.

It is kind of disappointing that after he becomes buffed up, Nefaria becomes primarily a physical threat. A brick wall for the Avengers to bloody their knuckles punching but eventually manage to knock down brick by brick.

I think a strong but not this strong Nefaria would be an interesting master planner antagonist to the Avengers. Able to thump them but not necessarily solo them. So he’d have to rely on planning to cover the gap.

While that may be, I absolutely loved Evil Superman Count Nefaria in this three parter. I mean, for one thing, how blatantly he is Evil Superman.

As much as I love Hyperion and the Squadron Supreme, Hyperion never Evil Supermanned to this level. This is exactly why crime dollars should not be able to purchase Superman’s powers. Toppling buildings, ripping into banks and then throwing away the money because whats the point, stomping the Avengers two and a half times. Nefaria is a rich man who suddenly has the superpowers to let him tangibly do to the world what he’s been doing to it socially the whole time.

Plus, Count Nefaria is just such a good bad comic book name. That’s his actual real last name. I suspect that he’s from the same part of Europe that the surname Doom is from.

Nefaria is a very Shooter villain. Shooter absolutely loves to write god-tier assholes whose failing is a very human foible.

Count Nefaria was given power to rival an actual god, Thor. But for much of this story he was driven by fear of aging and losing this power, thanks to a healthy dose of Old Man Nihilism from the Whizzer.

God-tier powers, done in by a very human fear.

We saw that with Graviton as well. He also had god-tier powers and was also able to manhandle Thor. And he was done in by his sense of possessive entitlement and a bit of power incontinence.

Graviton and Nefaria won’t be the end of this. Shooter will keep refining this take on villainy. We’ll see it with the Beyonder and with Korvac. And maybe with others.

On a more different note, Tom King gave me a whole new reason to love this story.

Look at those two crazy kids sneaking a snog behind a tree during a life-or-death battle instead of fighting Evil Superman! Young love!

There’s absolutely no way his take could have happened as the events were portrayed in the original issue. Its at odds with character placement and the timeline of events but heck. Its canon anyway.

Next time in the sequential numbering: the Guardians of the Galaxy guest star. But not the ones you might think. Remember the Gotg Vol. 2 stinger? Those guys. Kinda. Ish.

But before we get into that, there’s an annual and a crossover.

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