#nobody will know because I am still in lockdown

[southern-belle-outcasts]

Okay I tried to do a quick scroll before I went back to work, I already walked 8mi today and it took a lot out of me but I need to do flats so it was literally just a uber fast ‘what might be important’.

I see a lot of y’all getting sick and I’ma put on my big sib hat for a moment (I’m the oldest of 9 okay I did earn that title), and also these are just good reminders in general (read: Tagg fucking take your own advice ffs). It might get a smidge lengthy so under read more.

Getting sick isn’t a moral failing, it’s literally bugs’ job to fuck with us but to help you dodge this shit since I myself have a crappy immune system and cannot fucking afford being sick (and apart from that fucky business a few months ago have mostly dodged contagious stuff in the last few years)….continue reading.

Stay hydrated. I’m fucking terrible at this with plain water in the winter because who the fuck wants to drink water that MUST be cold when you’re already struggling to stay warm right now? Not me. So add some lemon (yay vitamin C). I can’t buy fresh lemons. I forget them and they go bad. BUT the bottled stuff while it does not taste as good imo, still has the good shit. So flavor and vit c. Or add it to herbal tea! Something that isn’t monster or dark soda or coffee (yes I’m aware those are part of the major food groups I don’t care you dehydrated walking plant). Broth soups also count- chicken soup is the cure all for a reason- veggies and hydration in one!!!

Eat. Something. You can’t run on nothing. Fed is better than not, period. Eating what you can afford is doing yourself better than going hungry for the sake of those two nights of ‘healthy food’.

If you stopped masking, go back to it. No seriously don’t stop. Buy one with a print you like with the slot for a filter and wear that shit. I’m sure most of my dodging illness during the height of lockdown while being not able to isolate in high trafficked places was the masking. That and the hand washing and hand sanitizers.

Speaking of- the one brand I used to buy is a boycott but there are lotion hand sanitizers out there if you’re like me, and you can just look at hand sanitizer and your hands crack. Highly recommend. 13/10. Not going back.

Indoor clothes/outside clothes- keep your ‘been everywhere all day’ cooties off the bed and your furniture. Will also reduce allergens embedding in the places where you’re laying down. Even if you didn’t shower, you’re doing yourself a favor changing the clothes. Yes I know this is more laundry, so there’s also clothing/fabric sanitizer. It’s like 8$ for a can but that’s an option if extra laundry is a Herculean task of which I understand the trials and tribulations.

If you can afford it- get some elderberry supplement. It’s not as difficult to find as it was in 2020. Ideally you take it just regularly, in a pinch, start taking it as soon as you feel ick to lessen it.

Lots of garlic, pepper, and ginger in your food. That is all. Season your food. Good food, better immune system, no notes needed.

Here is where you’re going to laugh at me and tell me to fuck off- SLEEP. Look, I am well aware okay, I know. But even if you have insomnia like me, your body will get more rest just by laying down and closing your eyes than it will by not doing so even if you didn’t even hit light sleep let alone REM.

Okay that’s it. That’s the post. I am not going to call it no brainer stuff because all of these things I had to learn and some were definitely as an adult, so just in case nobody told you, it’s for you. If you’re adhd and forgot, this one’s also for you. I’m not claiming to be a health expert, I ain’t a doc, just an expert at trying to dodge urgent care while living in a dystopia with no health insurance and I don’t like seeing people down and feeling crappy. :D

#;out of the south

[pitstopreality-f1]

So it’s obsessive if we don’t like kelly because she is a racist? Or xenophobic? Or a fascist? She shared those stories. She liked those posts. She made fun of the Chinese for covid and the lockdown. She did that. Nobody forced her to post any of those things.

Also i don’t think her daughter agreed to have her naked pictures shared on the internet. Shared with over 1.4 million followers her mother has with even more people that have access to them. And its not just one pictures Penelope is naked on. There are multiple pictures posted by Kelly of her less than 1 year old daughter. I don’t think Penelope consented to those.

Yes she could have wanted to go to a race but there are races way closer she could have attended without dragging her through so many time zones in such a short time. Her dark circles and eye bags are worrying for a 4 year old. And I mean if Kelly as an adult is complaining about the travel she does in a week and complaining about struggling with time zone changes, why would anyone think to drag a child through the exact same thing would be healthy? Kelly posted those stories complaining about her travel and “work” last year more than once.

First off all, surely you read 'Kind words only' when you pressed the ask button, right?

So where are those? 😂

Second of all, using those fascists and racists stuff, it's getting old. I don't know what you want me to do about it? Hate her now?

Based on what you just wrote, it seems like you do know everything about her? And yes, that makes me think it's unhealthy how you all have her actions under a loop.

Let me guess? You don't like Max either because he is racist and used slurs? Just because he fell in love with a women you don't know personally?

That's the thing with this generation? You can't really seem to say anything without getting canceled or being called a racist or whatever there is more of.

You can't place someone in the same category just because their parent is shit. They're their own person. Yes, we do get influenced by them still at some point, realizing later on what we did wasn't something we ourselves actually didn't want but we learn from those and that's how you grow, yes even when you're 35, 46 or 60. We will always learn.

Besides, they flew from Australia to Japan straight after and have been their for 2 weeks? I don't think there is much of a time difference between those two countries.

What I am saying is that don't judge and firstly, look at your own behavior. You don't know her. You only see and read about her from other people that also don't know her.

If you don't like her? Why are you even wasting your time? Do something you like. Scroll through the bunnies tag or flowers tag.

Be nice. Be kind. It's not that hard to do.

#max verstappen #kelly piquet #F1

[nokingsonlyfooles]

It follows you...

Yep. There it is. Bound to happen. This is still not as bad as Arizona - which, my followers should know, I fled due primarily to the concentration camps for tots, but this BS was ramping up as I got out and continued after I left. And, yes, the "children are identifying as kitty-cats" lie, baby-talk and all, has made its way here too.

Do you want to know why there's cat litter in some US classrooms, Canada? Because I know, and I'll tell ya.

It's so they can make an emergency bucket toilet in the event of a lockdown during a shooting. Children in the States go to school every day knowing they may die in any number of fun ways, and being shot is just one of them. To make them - and the rest of us - feel a bit better about that, ha-ha, we tried to make an absorbent material available for them to pee in while they're waiting for an active shooter to break down their door and kill them.

Now, you have much less of a gun problem, Canada, but that's a goal you can shoot for if you so desire! Ha-ha! I don't know what it is about the disintegration of American conservativism and the Republican party and democracy itself you find so attractive, but if you feel like you need that in your culture, you can have it! Your system has similar vulnerabilities to exploit! Adopt, adapt and improve!

We knew that, probably, we weren't going to find a safe place to land, just a relatively safer one. It's been good for me. I am finally getting healthcare - though it took a shitton of luck and perseverance. And I'm gonna need even more of it to keep fighting for a space for myself and others like me.

Canada, you are repairing the broken body of an anarchist who is willing to burn property and politicians to the ground to protect people. I don't want to show up to a protest and take attention away from others who need it by having a health emergency, so I'm relatively quiet right now. That will change (if my luck holds!). And, by god, you couldn't resist giving me a reason to get back out there, couldja?

Nobody is bothering to attack these "no gender or sexuality in school" liars on the basis of language. Which, inasmuch is they're trying to pen legislation, is the only way to go. If they get what they say they want, cis and het need to go in the trash right next to everything queer. That's... most of the curriculum. Everything referring to boys and girls, moms and dads, even the concept of children (where do children come from, again?). If nothing else, that should be rejected on the basis of how expensive it is.

But everyone in politics and the media seems willing to accept the comfortable fiction that cisgender isn't a gender and heterosexuality isn't a sexuality. It's implicit that we're only having a conversation about whether or not to teach the weird ones, but that is not what these people are saying. The protest signs and the rules and laws they write do not make exceptions. Well, that would look like discrimination! Because IT IS, motherfuckers.

I'm not ready to get out there and start making noise yet. I still got medication woes. Increasing the estrogen dented the amount of thyroid I'm able to absorb - as expected. I'm doing a little Flowers-for-Algernon and monitoring my symptoms so I can give the thyroid guy more information, probably I'll get back to him next week.

May I add that my hormone specialist does not deal with estrogen at all because, although it is a hormone, estrogen is gendered? I have to go to the lady doctor to manage my lady hormone, and then run back to the other guy for the rest of me. Conservatives, I would support a little less gender in society, if that was really what you wanted. I have a vested self-interest here.

Gotta make at least one more lap - gynecologist to endocrinologist and back - and then we'll see. Fingers crossed for a new angry NB in the new year! In the meantime, Godspeed to everyone out there trying to make a difference for the better.

#cbc news #canadian news #canadian politics #us politics #genders #queer rights #that ol' kitty litter lie #long post #🐸🧠 #sir i know furries i have shitted near furries and furries do not shit in litterboxes #dammit i've known CATS who refuse to shit in litter boxes #went camping with a bunch of furries and ended up staying in a backyard because the campground closed #we all used the toilet and ate at a buffet! #and lemme tell you there ended up being a lot of shit because we chose the buffet... poorly #never eat at a place called “terrible's”

[umniamusic]

obscurae poems vol. 5

Real

A girl in pink socks walks Soho at 5am

The streets are lockdown empty, no danger, just the eerie still of an apocalypse.

Pink socks. cold ground. familiar buildings in unfamiliar light.

She doesn’t know whose name she’s allowed to call out

No cold wind, a summer sun wants to help her

But it’s still too early

Pink socks on the cold uneven uncompromising stone of the big city

Finally. Another,

at the end of a very long street. In shadow too dark to tell human from beast

No danger. Just the eerie still of familiarity.

This is who she’s been looking for,

too far, too shadowed, unable to tell if it’s real

Pink socks. Stone ground. Scared of stubbing her toe if she runs, so she doesn’t run

It’s meant to be cold. She’s not cold. She walks. Nothing else moves.

This is where she belongs, she thinks, as she grows scales on her arms

She was never real, she thinks, she walks

She stops. Oh, this is real. This panic.

Now, the figure knows she’ll walk toward,

so she stops.

A picture of pink-socked restraint, unwitnessed.

The scales are iridescent, they wink at her as they cover her shoulders

This is who she is, she thinks

Oil-slick looking monster of pursuit

Persistence predator

Oh. How embarrassing.

A monster in pink socks bleeds from the chest and gut into the streets of Soho at 5am

She would cover the wounds but perhaps that would lead to infection

It’s cold but she doesn’t feel cold

She just feels caught, but it’s real

The bleeding and the panic,

No one will believe her when she wakes up

‘The streets are never that empty’ ‘so you didn’t even see a face?’ ‘humans can’t grow scales’

And yet she watches her heart pump rivulets onto the cold stone

A good mile away from the shadow

How embarrassing

Covering new fangs with clumsy lips and hiding yellow eyes behind her hair

And real has always eluded her,

She can perform it, much like people perform civility

But there has never been a world more constructive than this

A sky more blue, socks more pink

Wounds more painful

Shadows, more understanding than this.

Fantasy is a secret club the uninitiated cannot withstand exclusion from

The shadow is close now, to me. Fingers, reaching to try to gather what’s falling,

But it’s merely an absence of light, not something that can hold me

So it stands there helpless to stop it

I try to smile to make things less awkward, like,

Oh, sorry! This is just��it’ll stop in a second, just give me a second

I don’t know why I bother,

I couldn’t decipher a reaction if I wanted to

I stop bleeding onto Soho around 6am

I’m soon to wake

The shadow won’t leave

My chest is closed.

Something still lodged in my gut.

I ask it questions it can’t answer

I make assumptions it can’t confirm

I smile. I get nothing back.

I wake up in Soho at 7am.

It’s cold and I feel cold.

I run about the city like i’m a normal person

but i’m looking for my shadow,

And no one understands why,

Least of all me.

Reception

It’s blithely entertaining to watch me behind my little desk

hair up, office glasses on,

notepad and a pen,

pencil skirt and crisp white shirt

keeping score.

The core belief?

Unworthy.

waiting now,

just waiting,

watching the flatscreen

for the proof.

There!

My list is getting longer,

my criteria for inclusion grow more loose

wouldn’t want to miss another reason

a logical reason.

All in a day’s good work.

stone

but it’s the future,

and I can keep forgetting features traced, questions answered

I don’t have to remember how you walk

or frown, or drink coffee, fidget, laugh,

or, take off your shirt.

I can forget, in the future, every sensory input

forget the ghost of closeness, and the mere atoms of it

In the future I am serious, and brutal

I read things cold, and walk with purpose

I am — unreachable

intact

mistakeless, because my past is so pristine,

and it may not

feel

like it,

but I have never stepped a grubby foot wrong

which is the genius of it.

which is the genius of it.

The tragedy would be to have tried.

Nobody ever learns their lines.

So I must guess at their objectives.

and so, then, the past remains blissfully unresponsive.

and what’s next, blissfully — unreachable.

now, here, in the future, I am thankful in my grief

thankful for pragmatism, logic, and distance.

Now I stand carved from marble to withstand the elements,

in some prominent square,

a tribute to brilliant,

spotless,

intact

decision making.

and your coffee means nothing to me,

nor the shirt,

your objectives — unreachable,

frown if you like.

Edge of 43

Barely greying cynic attached forcefully to a mythic era

You are too young yet to be made and too old to be impressive

Lucky is your alternate to have known himself

You were on the string, pulled, a little too long, a little too on the hook with it all.

Fly around the world, alternate,

You seem to have spring in your step, from the self unsupressed,

In your wonder I find wonder,

And I hope the years don’t erode you.

But you, cynic,

Hooked,

Your hope rots you, deep down

And if you could just pretend

If you could just pretend

Pretend too.

Also, have a Valentine’s playlist. 💕💕

UMNIA

[novaazurite]

please correct me if im wrong about this, but im just ranting

i seriously do not get the hate about II recently n shit like why, i had to witness two server lockdowns in its discord server like damn yall 😭

Literally the server got locked because of when the new episode came out, and when i joined the server was also locked and it took me a day or so to get access to the rest of the server. Some of yall have so high standards for an object show, im suprised nobody is going after BFDI for this of all things, also people blocking others over ships, while I am okay with every ship but ive legit gotten blocked by someone on the discord server for liking mephoj like what 😭

Im kind of scared to bring up what ships I like, seeing that the discord server, fantube seems to be frowned upon for some reason, i get people are passonate about their rarepairs but I still think ya should be respectful if someone likes fantube, ive also seen this with nickloon, and kind of(correct me if im wrong) lightbrush.

Now for me, im conflicted between cabbtube and fantube ngl. And kind of the same for mephoj and floorphone, I dont know about this one, but floorphone seems to have grown on me a little (kind of because the fact some people I follow make floorphone art), mephoj seems to be a ship I really am attached to, lol.

I love season 2, but sometimes i kind of wish some people gave season 3 a chance, I think its nice tbh. May not be everyones cup of tea but im probably one of many who actually does like season 3.

#just a rant move along #novaazurite rambles abt bs

[wehadwildflowerfever]

So it’s both “Mermaids” release day and the day I can finally unwrap my “Daffodil” tattoo.

I’m staying up until midnight to hear this last Dance Fever song, so I’ve spent a large part of today thinking about the whole album.

I’ve worked through a lot of it academically this year, but I haven’t really let myself sit down and think about what it means to me personally. I saw someone write that the build up of “Mermaids” feels like a scream waiting to be released (@veronicaofosea), and that’s so close to how Dance Fever as a whole feels to me. Listening to it has felt like letting out multiple screams that have been building up in my body since girlhood.

Florence isn’t close to the first artist to remind women that we don’t have to be good, seek approval, be desirable, and keep the peace. Within my own pantheon of favorite artists/musicians/poets, I have heard it so often. Mary Oliver has told us (“You do not have to be good / you do not have to walk on your knees / for a hundred miles through the desert repenting”). Tori Amos has told us again and again in more ways than I have room to write down (“She’s been everybody else’s girl/ Maybe one day she’ll be her own”). Each instance has felt like a small revelation to me. An idea I could intellectually know to be true, but couldn’t feel in my body when needing to go out into the world to assert myself. My voice is always quieter than I mean it to be. I apologize for myself when I don’t want to. I have a really hard time making eye contact. Dance Fever marked the first time that I could fully hear this truth. Right now. In my late thirties.

I don’t know what did it, exactly. I think part of it was lockdown and being on my own so much. Probably having the space to retreat into myself, being responsible only to myself and my partner. Having very few external expectations placed on us. And then coming out of that, Dance Fever was the first piece of art to shatter my grief-induced numbness.

“Oh bring your salt, bring your cigarette. Draw me a circle and I’ll protect…” The ferocity of the circle drawn in “Heaven is Here.” The dark magic and intentional monstrosity of it. How it made a protected space for our rage and mourning and reclamation of self.

The tender, funny anger of “Girls Against God.” (Which actually made me feel conflicted at first. Growing up going to an Orthodox Hebrew school, we didn’t write God’s name on anything that wasn’t sacred and meant to last, even in English. Writing down that title was literally the first time I spelled out “God” which was scary but also powerful.) The permission of being able to own our anger, even if it’s just us, in our pajamas, alone in our bedrooms.

And it took me a while to notice what was being sung during the “Dream Girl Evil” bridge, but once I figured out that it was a reversal of Yeats’ “The Second Coming,” I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What does it mean to look at our world on the verge of collapse and respond-- at least for a moment-- by essentially saying well fine, this wasn’t a world built for us. If it’s dependent on women being the world’s angels and dream girls, just let it all burn. “I am nobody’s moral center / it cannot hold.” Again, this intense permission to claim our rage and independence.

The part of the album that has probably made me cry the most is a lyric I still don’t fully understand. It’s toward the end of “Choreomania,” when the music slows down a little and Florence sings, “And do they speak to you? Because they speak to me, too. The pressure and the panic you push your body through.” I’m not sure who “they” are for her, but there is something so comforting in how the fourth wall breaks down here, how she sings “they speak to me, too.” The vulnerable confession that we all carry unwanted voices with us born of mental illness, or intergenerational trauma, or gendered social expectation, and the recognition of what those voices do to us and our bodies. The anxiety and the panic attacks.

This album feels like a release of those voices or an attempt to live with them in a way that allows us to fully reclaim ourselves.

Even just posting this feels like something I wouldn’t have done before. I would have checked with multiple people to make sure it wasn’t too much, or too pointless, or too intense, but I think of “Restraint” and post it anyway. “And have I learned restraint? Am I quiet enough for you yet?” Saying “yes, but I’m unlearning it” feels like a source of power.

#florence and the machine #music tattoo #florence welch #dance fever

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Brians mom/sister scene is now up ‘OH FUCK YOU BITCH! Sidenote: he looks really fucking good. His life might be falling a part but he still looks good. Respect. Oh no, his stupid mom. Oh fuck you too. What kind of family is this? This is horrible, no wonder he is fucked up on drugs and alcohol and fucking everyon- actually nevermind that last one could just be a preference, fuck, this man would’ve died in 2020 lockdown. Wait, I’m getting distracted. Oh no this is hurting me. *pauses tv* DID YOU SEE THAT HESITATION! You could tell he was about to tell her off but he had to fully push himself to say fuck you to her because he’s still just a little kid inside. I will start a riot for him. And him only. Oh and my boy Elliot. This guy did not have to act this much in this scene because this all HURT’ (i have no clue who Elliot is btw when i asked he just went ‘oh you know *smacked his fist to his chest* my boy’) ‘SEE TED AND BRIAN HAVE POTENTIAL! Oh teddy, he is in love how do you not know!’ He is now sitting with crossed fingers and looking up in the ceiling ‘please no Ethan, please no Ethan. OH MY GOD! OH MY! Ha, a friend of his uncles..good one Justin, don’t you mean the love of his life? DID THE KID JUST SAY THE F BOMB AGAIN?! PUNCH HIM JUSTIN. HE WOULDVE PAYED HIM! SEE! EVEN NOW HE KNOWS THAT BRIAN IS THE BEST. *pauses tv again* JUSTIN WENT TO GET THE KID TO ADMIT HES LYING?! How are you gonna do that and then look me in the face and say you don’t care for him? HOW DARE HE WEAR HIS BRACELET! Justin, BEAT HIS ASS! It is your time to start throwing punches!’ ‘JUSTIN! CARL! DEBBIE!!! HE SAW THE BRACELET AND IMMEDIATELY WENT TO CARL!!! Of course Justin would know it has Brian’s initials and where he bought it! Totally normal. EXACTLY DEBBIE SHAME ON THEM! Now say that to his mom next! Aw he gave Justin the bracelet, i have never in my life cared this much about a bracelet’ ‘oh for fucks sake they’re actually gonna have a kid together? SPERM BANK! The kid can always find out who the dad is later in life. This is a recipe for disaster’ ‘HE IS SHOOTING UP! OH MY GOD DUDE IS PUTTING DRUGS IN HIS TUSHY!’ Anyway thee Britin scene is up! ‘AHHHHHH he took the bracelet back to him! LOOK HOW BRIAN IS LOOKING AT HIM! HE MISSES HIM! HE LOVES HIM. Makes me wonder how many times Justin tied up the bracelet for him *pauses tv and starts waving his hands around Britin* you see this? DO. YOU. SEE. THIS? THAT! Is called tension. *says it so that he basically pronounces every letter* SEXUAL TENSION! *hits play* They are about to fuck! Brian is gonna slam him into that wall and they are gon- BRIAN NO! WHY WOULD YOU REMIND HIM OF THE EXISTENCE OF THE ONE PERSON NOBODY WANTS TO BE REMINDED OF?! Even Justin looked disappointed at the reminder! This is pure bullsh- did he just toss the bracelet? *rewinds* HE DID! LOOK *rewinds it again while point at the tv* so hold the fuck up. You’re telling me, he stood there and let Justin tie a bracelet on his wrist only for him to take it off and toss it the second Blondie left and i’m supposed to pretend that the reason for that is not just so that he could feel his Blondies touch? Just so that he could have him for one more second? BUT WHY TAKE IT OFF? Is he mad that he reminded him of *makes a face like he just smelled rotten eggs* him? Or is he just not feeling it right now?’ Now usually he would go outside after an episode but he is on a time crunch so he immediately went to ep 5. He has physical therapy today and I’m honestly scared that it was a bad idea to watch this before he went.

He’s still just a little kid inside. I will start a riot for him. I am sobbing right now, he totally gets Brian.

I have never in my life cared this much about a bracelet. LOL so true.

DUDE IS PUTTING DRUGS IN HIS TUSHY. DYINGGGGGGG.

The sexual tension of that scene is so thick it can only be cut with a knife.

i’m supposed to pretend that the reason for that is not just so that he could feel his Blondies touch - MMHMM. EXACTLY.

(Saying a prayer for his PT…)

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[circusislife]

Palmtree and papyrus

Xoxo

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

Uhhh.... Does ganon count? I mean, he Is Simply and a** in most games, but... In windwaker for example we can see a bit more. He Just wanted something Better for his people and tried to take It in the only way he knew of, by force. He Is cruel an mercyless in oot, but he WAS the king, traditions or not he wouldn't have lasted long if he didn't have his people's loyalty, he must have done something to earn It, right? :)

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? (Shuffled the playlist where I dump every single Song I even mildly tolerate and hit jackpot) The One that came out Is a female cover of "To the other side" from the musical The greatest show, and let me tell you, I can't listen to or sing It without feeling empowered. I think I discovered It by chance a Little before covid struck, and saved It because I liked the tunes, It had a cool animatic and the voice register was something I could reach if I ever wanted to learn It. Good thing I did, because now it's One of my favorites. It basically describes my emotional development during highschool. At first I Just wanted to be the best of the class, manage to do well and determined to stomp on my Hyperactivity (and personality) to adhere to what I thought was an Ideal student. Was quite the loner, got enough human interactions from passively existing in class and training (yup, circus;)).

"Ain't in a Cage, so I don't Need to take the Key. Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine? I don't Need the other side!" "If i were mixed up with you I'd be the talk of the Town. Disgraced and disowned, another One of the clowns"

Then covid struck. And with It lockdown. At First It was fine. Bit bored, but otherwise fine. Started to allow myself to become a bit more relaxed about studying even. But then i became restless: I wanted interactions. The only way to do that was WhatsApp, but the screen Is a pretty detached way to comunicate, so , in order to express myself I put a bit more of "hyper" in the texts. It only grew from there. When we were finally allowed back in the classroom I could have put that behind me and tried to adhere once again to the mold, but...

"but you would finally live a little, finally laugh a Little. Just let me give you the freedom to dream and It Will wake you up and cure your aching. Take your walls and start 'em breaking. Now that's a deal that seems worth taking?! But I Guess I'll leave that up to you"

I took that deal. Dignity and embarrassement be damned, they're Just social constructs and anyway, the only one to remember any mishap After two or three weeks would be me. Might as well try to enjoy socialising while I could. And if I became too much... Well, if i bothered someone then they could either tell me, I would tone It Down, or they could suck It up and suffer in silence like idiots. If they wanted someone calm and propper then too bad, I have learned to respect other people's boundaries even when loosening up and that's all I'm willing to concede.

"forget the Cage 'cause we know how to make the key. Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly we're going to the other side"

Turned out for the best. Nobody had a problem with that, if they did they told me before It got too much and I adapted. i couldn't bottle It up any longer, nor did I want to. It was amazing.

"we're going to the other side"

I am still a bit socially awkward, and realizing that I even have social skills Is still a bit of a surprise. But being able to relax more often is well worth the occasional embarrassement. I'm not really an extrovert except for when I'm with people I like and trusth, but I am much less closed off and happier for It. "Take your walls and start 'em breaking" Indeed ;)

#ask #my katnip child! <3 #ask game #... #Looks like the rambling was unlocked! :D #'^^ #<3

[some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too]

Part one of my book/Story!

(unnamed so far)

A/N: i’ve been feeling super unmotivated to write about the outsiders lately so i figured i’d share what i’m working on in my free time! i started writing this during the lockdown in 2020 (god that feels like a lifetime ago) but i gave up on it before i could finish because i really had no clue where i was going with it. but i came back to it when i had some free time a few months ago because i couldn’t get the main characters out of my head, i felt like i just had to tell this story. so here i am! sorry this is such a boring looking post and i don’t expect it to get many likes- but let me know what you think!

Basic plot: the year is 1926 in post-war France. two strangers come across a murder scene one night but once they call for help any trace of the crime has disappeared. they must take it upon themselves to investigate these murders, and maybe learn not just secrets about the case, but some about themselves too. (i suck at writing summaries like this it’s basically a murder mystery that’s super gay too)

As I walked home I was pulled out of my thoughts by a chilling scream. I looked up to see a large figure standing over a man. He held a knife in his left hand. A crimson liquid splattered the walls of the alleyway and there was a pool growing around the body. I went to dive behind a stack of large crates but the figure spotted me. I choked out what sounded like a squeak. I couldn't scream, I didn't dare utter a word. I couldn't move even if I wanted to. It felt as though my bones had turned to lead. All The man did was put a finger to his lips to shush me and a moment later he climbed up a ladder onto the roof of a nearby building with such speed that for a fleeting moment I doubted if I had ever seen him in the first place.

I stood there motionless until yet another man stepped out from behind a bin at the other side of the alley. I came back to reality and pulled a knife out of my pocket. I held it up in a defensive position. I had thought the man may have been an accomplice until he ran for the body. He dropped to his knees. He desperately felt for a pulse, sighed and closed his eyes. “Dead. Nobody could have survived that much blood loss.” I didn't dare to lower my blade “who are you. What are you doing here?” The man got to his feet slowly and put his hands up. “I’m Louis, Louis De la Cour.” The man spoke in a quiet, trembling voice. “Please don’t hurt me. I’m nothing but a man trying to get home.” Even in the low light of the alley I could tell that the man, Louis, was smaller than me. I noted that he had ash blond hair. Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit me like a wave, my knife fell to the ground with a clatter. “What the hell is happening? That man is dead! What are we going to do?”I felt like there was a weight on my chest. I couldn't breathe. I looked at Louis, his expression was stony. “We need to get a police officer. We can both go back from where we came and see if we can find someone. If you do not find anyone, come back here in three minutes.”

We shook hands and walked away. What was happening? There was a dead man in that alleyway. If someone had seen us…we could be thought of as accomplices. We could be killed just because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I walked at a brisk pace with my hands in the pockets of my trousers. I found a police officer easily since we were quite close to the louvre. There were always officers around that area to try to ward off anyone with the intent to steal the art kept there. I explained what happened once I caught his attention. I still felt as though I couldn't breathe and I was aware of everything happening around me. I was aware of every person walking, each voice talking in hushed whispers and I was aware of every leaf falling from the trees in the late autumn breeze. Once I had finished recounting the events I witnessed the officer demanded I bring him to the scene of the crime. We walked in silence to the alley. I relaxed a little when I noticed Louis standing at the other end again. We both looked down to where the body lay, well- where the body once lay. it wasn’t there anymore?? “Boys? I thought you said there was a murder. well where is it?” The officer was visibly angry. I felt my face get red and I stayed silent. I hated to seem like a fool. The other officer added “go home boys. There’s no corpse here. No sign of a crime. I’ll remind you, making false claims is a punishable offence.” Louis clenched his jaw and spoke up. “I assure you sir, there was a body there. We stood on either side of the alley, there was blood everywhere. I saw it with my own eyes” he kept his voice very matter-of-fact yet he commanded attention. He had a presence. It caught me off guard how this small man could make anyone focus on him just by speaking.

The two policemen walked away, once they turned the corner, Émile and Louis heard one of them laugh and say ‘Stupid youths. They must have had too much to drink!’ The other replied with a monstrous laugh. Louis looked at me and said flatly ‘I need a drink.’ I replied with a simple. ‘Me too.’ With that we walked off in silence to find the nearest bar.

i am looking for any feedback on this so if you have any opinions/questions please either send it in my asks or dm me! i’m super excited to be working on this and i hope you are as excited to read it!

#dal talks #writing a book #how do we feel? #i’m really happy with it! #please share this

[moodr1ng]

a funny thing ive been thinking abt recently is.. as a crazyperson dealing with delusions, the one thing that best lets me manage them is not "convince myself that its not real" (i cant actually just turn off my psychosis :/) but saying "it IS real, this IS true, but only in my reality".

like, idk whether or not "objective reality" is a real thing and im sooo not interested in finding out, but i do know there is a... communal reality? one which is based on things which are observable to anyone, and which impact and are impacted by multiple people. so if thats our basis, the communal reality, then one might consider the idea of an individual reality; one where a person may observe, be impacted by, and impact things which are inobservable to anyone else, and which no one else can interact with directly. the observability and impact of what is being perceived by the person is undeniable to them, but it is very much deniable by anyone else, because its not true in the communal reality.

the crucial part of this, to me, is that if i use this framework, the only course of action that makes sense is to determine that i should avoid doing anything that would negatively impact people, things, or myself in the communal reality based on anything i observe solely in my individual reality. those things are not in the communal reality, so i have like, a sort of moral and also just rational duty to consider them fully irrelevant to the communal reality and to act accordingly.

like, ok, sometimes i become very aware (more than usual) that theres a woman on my balcony at night, and shes looking through my bedroom window and trying to get in, and some nights im so afraid of her that i lock my bedroom door and close the metal blinds all the way and sleep with the lights on. the woman on the balcony is very real... in my individual reality. but thats kind of the reality im in! so shes very real to me!

but, i know, shes not real to anyone else. so i shouldnt do dumb shit based on her being there. i know she cant impact the communal reality (my roommate isnt in danger, etc), so... its kinda fine that shes here?

she is scary and she does want to hurt me and im scared of her and i hate her and wish she would leave. and some nights i need to do my lil 'lockdown procedures' to get away from her, and it fucking sucks, and thats a very real shitty experience.

but, well, once i am able to recognize that shes not real to other people, then she can just be something i observe. i recognize that her reach is limited; that she cant hurt me or anyone else in any meaningful way; eventually, on most days she becomes background noise. eventually, me and them, in our pocket reality no one else experiences, i start to accept them a bit. if the lady could hurt me she would have by now - and i do think the lady on the balcony is also the 'witch behind the curtains' from my childhood, so.. she's had plenty of time.

she cant really hurt me. shes just trying to spook me. shes like these actors in walk-through haunted houses who are behind cages or fences - grabbing towards the audience, putting on a big show of how scary they are.. ultimately, theyre actors in a cage, still. the woman on the balcony is like that. scaring me is the only thing she actually can do; there is no true threat, because the cage of common reality will always hold her at arms length. and sure, shes really, really good at scaring me. and i really dont like it! but i can go through it and remind myself that its all an act. a haunted house tour i didnt sign up for, sure, but none of the actors are allowed to touch me. they cant affect the common reality.

like thats been p dope? im never gonna manage to believe that its "just not real". but i can manage "its real for me and nobody else". and that makes it bearable.

i talk to the man on the ceiling now, sometimes. when i leave my room in the dark i dont turn on the light - and i have always turned on the lights! - and i talk to him. i know hes there. and for years i checked the ceiling at night, compulsively, to make sure he wasnt there. he doesnt want me to see him, right, so i had to keep checking because that way he had to remain hidden and couldnt get close to me.

now i go sit in a completely dark, closed room and i say "hey man, hows it going up there", and hes there on the ceiling, of course, but i dont check now, to be polite (if hes that committed to hiding then clearly its nicer to not look for him!). i tell him about my day a bit. he doesnt respond, obviously, but also id really hate it if he did, so its all good with me. i picture his weird, blank head hanging down from the ceiling, his featureless face hovering just above me, watching me while im blinded by the darkness.

and those are the thoughts ive tried very, very hard to avoid having for so many years! i got into a habit of ig.. very intensely thinking the lyrics of a song while going through my apartment at night, doing the choreographed circuit of turning the lights off and on to make sure i was never in the dark, because if i let my thoughts slip for just a second id think about the ceiling man right behind me, and thatd freak me out.

just sitting there in the complete darkness, knowing hes so close, listening to me talk to him? not so long ago i wouldve had a panic attack about it. but its ok. because the ceiling man cant hurt me, either. and probably isnt even trying to.

i thought about it more, and i realized that while i know the woman is trying to hurt me - shes purposeful about scaring me - the ceiling man has never really been antagonistic. he follows me around, but moreso in the way an animal would follow some strange smaller animal out of curiosity. hes not really trying to do anything to me. hes just here. thats not his fault. hes stuck with me too! so, im chill with him now i guess.

like, seriously.. just saying "the paranoia entities are real actually, but just for me" has actually really really really helped. i wish i hadnt spent all this time thinking and being told that getting better meant no longer having delusions. like, sure, thatd be great!!!! but i cant just turn them off. and theres no treatment that can just 100% make psychosis go away. so, most likely, im still gonna have delusions, and, most likely, i will for the rest of my life, and possibly itll worsen with age. its not realistic to just think "the only real option here is to convince myself that my experiences are fake". what, like im smarter than my own brain? my brains not gonna let me think this isnt real. its making it up in the first place!! so yeah. whatever! it is real. so now i can focus on "whats the best course of action to take when i have (x) experience, while remembering that it cannot infringe upon other peoples reality?", and as it turns out theres a lot more i can do while working within the delusion. damn.

#long post #very long post #ok im shoving in a readmore bc this is absurdly long and everyone gonna be mad #psychosis inducing #paranoia inducing #unreality #psychosis trigger #uhhh #unreality tw #yeah im gonna have to say i think thats enough tags? idk any other ones #anyway sorry for long ass post just wanted to blog. lol. and yes yes im high again...

[futuristicballoondream]

New Chapter Thoughts 397

I don’t know if Old Xian is posting more frequently now or is post-lockdown life is getting ahead of me or what but I am not keeping up with the fandom as much recently. So if I normally comment on your stories and pics, I’m still checking most of the out and thanks! So the two main things that stuck out for me this chapter were this panel, or more importantly the emptiness of the panel after. I’ve never seen Jian Yi so cowed by She Li. Normally he gets all brash and brazen in She Li’s face, and then chicken’s out and backs down

Is he learning? He was making snake cartoon petitions last episode so I doubt it... but maybe seeing the latest thing he did to Mo Guan Shan has shaken him up and he’s decided it’s better not to retaliate. Maybe he’s trying to not rile She Li up for Mo’s sake, in case it eggs him on. Is he legit scared? Is it because the two of them are alone? It’s not the usual childish EEEK run away, there’s a lil sweat drip and Jian Yi’s averting his eyes. 

And secondly, This:

can surely only mean something bad is coming. Old Xian does not allow good character development, getting close, and happiness to continue unimpeded for long.... I am scared for them. But I am so proud of Momo for not backing away, assuming the teacher was right in thinking he is a bad influence, a waste of space, a nobody that He Tian would be better off without. He is so used to quietly slipping away without standing up for himself... He Tian has made him believe he is worth something, worth fighting for, that he has a future, he has some control over his own life and can influence the outcome of his path, even when there are naysayers around, people will still have his back.

#old xian #19天 #19 days #tianshan #she li

[trinitycove]

During the lockdowns I started getting really into skincare (still a guilty pleasure, but spend considerably less on it) and makeup. I was never good at makeup, but my skills did improve. Nobody saw the makeup except for my parents who I lived with and a couple friends I felt brave enough to send pictures to. Eventually I felt competent at it and that made me feel good.

However, I noticed that I was wearing it more often and feeling less confident without it. I wore it to the party I met my bf at and the first time we hung out as well. Then after that I decided he needed to like me for me. If he got used to seeing me with makeup that was extra time and effort for me to spend to see him.

(Obviously he was still into me, but he could have easily gotten used to me with makeup and after a month when I show him my real face he could have acted different or distant. Basic psychology. Thank goodness he got used to my real face.

And yes it's fucked up that I am grateful for that, I agree. That's basic. But that's the reality of being attracted to men. Sometimes they can be really judgemental of a woman's natural state whether that be her physical or mental state.

And in this way I lucked out because this man has seen me at very bad points and continues to take care of and love me. Sorry to talk about my jakey/nigel lol. This isn't a "not all men." I know any man can disappoint me at any time. It is just nice for now.

I do hope it lasts so please allow me to be hopeful.)

I still wear some mascara and concealer for a professional environment. But otherwise I never wear it even at dressier events. My clothing can speak for itself.

#me #anti makeup #i know not completely #sue a girl #im in school #and want to get hired #and people always tell me im tired #even when im not #ugh #personal

[jinxedwood]

One of the shitty things about lumbering through middle-age is that now complete strangers on the street assume I am racist or, at the very least, racism *curious*.

And I'm not joking about this! Middle aged men at bus stops are still making me nervous when they sidle over to me, but now their intent is not to sexually harass me but to spew their weird arsed internet induced vomit at me instead.

Case in point. Yesterday, I'm at a bus stop on O'Connell Street and some guy starts yammering at me. I'm standing there with these enormous fuck-off headphones at me, staring blankly at him but he's not taking the hint and gesturing with his hand, so I reluctantly take them off. Who knows, maybe he's looking for directions or something innocuous like that...

No such luck. He immediately launches into a diatribe about how the government likes multiculturalism but nobody else does.

'Actually, I'm just fine with it,' I say, interrupting him.

This momentarily stumps him. I'm white and over forty, Reddit has told him I'm one of *his* people.

'Well, I don't like it!' he eventually asserts, and I could almost hear the old gas bag gearing up for another rant.

'Well, good for you,' I said, trying to squeeze as much condescension as I can possibly manage into the sentence before determinedly putting my headphones back on to listen to my old timey middle aged music. Anything to drown this fucker out.

The guy just stands there, blinking at me owlishly for a few minutes, probably wondering how his inner script of how this conversation should have gone, had gone so wildly off the rails. It's called stepping outside of your bubble dude, maybe you should have spent a little more time learning a new hobby during those lockdowns instead of being radicalised on Facebook/Twitter.

(This has happened to me about three/four times in the last year - and every single fucking time it was at a bus stop!)

(also, I was so glad there were about a dozen other people at the bus stop with me, because this interaction would probably have been much worse if he thought I was a captive audience.)

#about me #racism #ireland

[sug4r-melon]

I have too many questions for everyone.

Tiger

Nobody cared that Tiger was half Autobot?

From what I see, she lives more with Blitzwing than with Bumblebee, I think. (almost like joint custody)

Shrike

Who is his relationship with his creators?

How are his ninja techniques?

Is he a quiet kid?

Nova

I've always wondered if she has any pressure on her for being the next to lead the Decepticons.

Last questions:

Do the 3 know each other? If yes, how is their relationship?

Does the prime team know their existence? How are their interactions?

When can we see more lore about your ocs (kids)?

I am sorry

I’ll be happy to answer all of these to the best of my abilities!

Tiger

- no one cared that she was half autobot?

it’s not so much that they didn’t care, but they didn’t know. all the decepticons suspected each other but it was too awkward to try and bring up so they all just kept their assumptions to themselves. meanwhile Blitzwing is over here sweating bullets and PRAYING that no one asks where Tiger came from

as for her living situation, it’s not really a joint custody situation. she just sees her sire whenever she goes with Blitzwing to their secret meetups, or she might see him if the autobots and decepticons have one of their weekly battles lmao (bee often gets distracted suring those because he is very concerned for her safety)

Shrike

- whats his relationship like with his creators?

pretty good for both Prowl and Lockdown! unfortunately, he doesn’t see Lockdown a lot(about twice a month at most) because his sire is always out taking jobs and hunting, but when Lockdown does come back he tends to stay for a while

- how are his ninja techniques?

they’re.... to be desired. but he gets some leeway considering that he isn’t being officially trained and is just trying to copy what Prowl does

- is he a quiet kid?

not necessarily quiet as in he doesn’t talk a lot, but he has an extremely soft voice that can barely be heard unless you’re right next to him. he also has extreme social anxiety(he just like me fr) so there’s a good chance that anyone new he meets won’t even get the chance to hear his voice

Nova

- does she have any pressure over being the next leader of the decepticons?

SO. MUCH. PRESSURE. but it’s mostly put on by herself. her sire cares for her deeply and doesn’t want to stress her out too much over that, especially since she’s still relatively young and Megatron is positive his reign will continue on for many more thousands of years. she still does her best to make him proud and prove herself worthy of leading the decepticons(even though megatron thinks that she could literally never do anything wrong ever(YES hes that kind of dad))

as for your last questions:

- do the three know each other? how is their relationship?

I’m actually writing a fic(maybe a comic? who knows) where the three meet each other at the same time, so I don’t want to spoil a lot. but Tiger and Shrike have actually known each other for quite a while! they both snuck out once when they were young sparklings and ended up finding each other in the woods. since then, they’ve seen each other a few times, and Tiger likes to think they’re friends

- does team prime know of their existence? how do they interact?

Team Prime knows all three of these kids, however their interactions vary a LOT

for Shrike, they obviously know of his parentage and his creators’ relationship and all of that since he was born at the plant and has lived there his whole life. they’re very protective of him, especially Ratchet, who doesn’t want him going anywhere outside of detroit without supervision.

as for Tiger, they know literally nothing about her. for all they know, she was just another decepticon who landed on earth to help Megatron. that doesn’t last long, as they do eventually put together that she’s a very young sparkling(just a little tall for her age), but they still have no clue who her parents are, let alone that her sire is one of them

now, Nova is... a mixed bag for them. since she’s been around the longest, most autobots such as the elite guard know who she is, who her parents are, and her position in the decepticon ranks. this makes her a very large target. Optimus is the only one who thinks there might be good in her(he sees her as a product of her environment

- will we see more of your ocs?

ABSOLUTELY! I have so many plans for the three of them, and I can’t wait to share more lore about them!

 you don’t need to apologize for asking about the kids! they are my pride and joy and I will always gladly do my best to answer any questions you guys have about them <3

#WHEN I TELL U THIS TOOK FOREVER HJFVBSDHFVB #its okay tho i love answering asks vjkbdsfjkd #oc: supernova #oc: 'Tiger' Swallowtail #oc: Shrike

[bigskydreaming]

Also, weirdly I’m really not much of a Superbat shipper at all, and the Superbat usually just comes out in joke posts that are largely at Bruce’s expense. Quite frankly, I have no idea what to do with that. Like, is ‘local area man turns ridiculous and looks absolutely goofy when male focus of his desires wanders into view’ my personal version of internalized homophobia? Oh god, am I projecting onto Bruce? I didn’t know I do that. Wow.

(Nah, I think I’m actually just into occasional unrequited Superbat where its one-sided on Bruce’s part because its a silly, low-stakes way to poke fun at a character used to getting his way and strategically mission-planning his way through every social interaction - with this last part literally being a thing I do, and thus relate to, and thus am like mmm I’m in this picture and don’t care for that, quick, I must mock to distract from the awkwardness of my relatability-born discomfort - and just, that character being totally out of his element and helplessly flailing. Like “help, I have an enormous crush on my ‘Greek statue of a god’ teammate I mean my ‘Greek god of a statue’ I mean my teammate who is a god Greek statue oh whatever. Look, his biceps are so huge I literally can’t even deal and nothing in my decades of training myself to reach my fullest potential and capabilities has given me any tools for dealing with this whatsoever. And whenever I ask my sons for help they just laugh at me and then hang up and my daughter just makes excuses to avoid me every time I try and talk to her about it but she literally told me once she only does that when she’s embarrassed for me because she hates dealing with secondhand embarrassment. 

But seriously, back to my crisis which I’m pretty sure nobody else in the history of humanity has ever had to deal with because how on earth would civilization even exist if this was some kind of universal experience? What am I supposed to do, I have to WORK with this man and have you even seen his thighs? Why can no one grasp that this is a PROBLEM even if that’s only because I so rarely confide in even trusted allies about the stuff that really matters and they can’t help me figure out how not to softly gasp like an anime character every time he smiles at me and only me, when they don’t even know I do that because I have that on lockdown. Like if there’s one thing I DO know how to do, its how to stifle an unwanted emotional response, lol, I’ve got that one covered. But back on topic, please. This ‘unrequited crush’ thing you speak of. How do I get rid of it? Is there somewhere I can just, idk, pay a fee to have them take it off my hands, because that would be GREAT. But also if you so much as touch the fantasies inspired by his heaving chest I might break my no-killing rule so I’m not really sure how that would even work.”)

LOL, but seriously, or as near to it as I can manage right now, I ship both Bruce/Talia and Bruce/Selina in various times and scenarios, and there’s frequently unrequited elements to those romances - specifically the timing and how sometimes one of them is not in the right place/mindset for the romance to actually flourish and then other times they are but now its Bruce who is in the wrong place, wrong time, largely because DC is like Tragic Man’s Love Life is Also Tragic because how else would people even know its him.

But problem is, there’s actual genuine emotion involved there and I’m genuinely invested and weirdly that makes it not really fun to make fun of Bruce for being the man who has everything except for what he really wants.

And thus, I Superbat. When that’s what I’m after.

Or, as we’ve established, when I’m still up and somebody should probably have taken the computer away from me for the Good of All Mankind but sadly, they didn’t and thus this is actually all their fault, when you really think about it.

[vonlipvig]

Weird shit from Not For Broadcast - The Lockdown, and how long it took me to realize none of this was real

The fact that there’s no day number AND that nobody bothered to pick Alex up from their workstation where they got electrocuted last time: That’s just how capitalism is.

“Make sure to blast the demon hellspawn toys off from the TV tower with the dedicated demon hellspawn toy blaster 9000 button”: Too busy blushing because Jenny is talking to ME. If she says it then it must be true. On it boss.

“Electric Fever Dream” in the up next screen: You’re insane if you think I can spare any attention to read those while getting ready for the broadcast.

Rich people being filled up with helium and floating away or sOMETHING idk: I just picked the funny headline picture and immediately stopped listening, sorry.

The world outside the window turning into cartoonland: Clearly this is just a game mechanic to let you know you don’t have to zap the demon hellspawn toys outside anymore. I am very smart.

The psychic lady accurately reading Jeremy’s future: WHY WAS THIS THE ONLY THING THAT WAS KINDA ACTUALLY REAL WTF.

“I’m Megan Roof”: You can literally just say whatever cause I’m clearly not paying attention.

Ą̸̊̈́̐P̵̤͂P̷̯̙͛E̶͙̐̄̃A̵͙̝̘̓̕S̵̺͖̊Ḭ̸̙͈̑͠N̸͎̍G̷͈͎͌̒ ̵̥̃͊̊T̷̞͋H̵̦̹̀E̶̤̻̋̐ ̶̘͓͚͋̈́͝Ą̷̙̯̽͆N̶̺͖̠̓́C̴̝̀͑̒Ì̴̪̫̂̏E̶̢̢̛͌̔N̴̯̆̓T̸̨̒͊ ̴̛ͅO̷̮̺̔̽͝Ṉ̷̏ͅÉ̷̛͐͜: Weird, but I broke down by lockdown day number 3 so who am I to judge.

Jeremy’s sandwich oddysey: Yeah this is just lockdown, I did this too.

Bannon being attacked by said demon hellspawn toys: This is so fucking funny and also normal.

Jeremy changing ties in every scene: I literally would not notice anything less than him dyeing his hair bright red so yeah.

Jeremy’s subtitles changing everytime he’s addressed by a different name: This is the demon hellspawn toys’ fault, which has been already established as normal. Or I’m having a stroke.

“My name is Jeffrey Donnington”: Ok yeah I may be having a stroke. Still normal.

Everyone knowing the lyrics and choreo for the Mr. Bear song: That’s just how musicals are.

Everyone in the Mr. Bear song passing fruits to each other? They’re in different places? HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS?: I JUST NOTICED THIS WHAT THE HELL.

Megan, in a fancy sequin dress AND turning the screen into black and white, singing a scathing song about Alex’s personal life directly at you, Alex: nOW HOLD ON A MINUTE SOMETHING’S OFF

Bonus:

“Tune in tomorrow when Jeremy will wrestle an alpaca, and I will be naked”: Alex, put your fingers in the electrical outlet NOW I can’t miss that.

Aggresively Scottish (?) Megan: PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Very blatant occupational hazards ad complete with shock board offer: OK I GET IT. I’M STUPID. 

#not for broadcast #sorry im STILL thinking about the lockdown it was so fucking funny #there are probably more that i forgot and or didn't catch cause i literally just caught the fruit thing lmao