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gr00vyminibus · 5 months

Text

BLACK ORCHID

Nomi x black fem

You've been talking to Nomi for some months and really have deep feelings for her but you can't unshake this sense thats she's hiding something. The longer she wants to keep it away from you the bigger she tears your relationship apart. Will she save it or allow you both to fully disconnect from eachother?

Will include: angst, suggestive scenes, stalker activities, this was split into two parts since it was so long all together but thats basically all for this section. Kinda fast paced and proofread

Taglist: @zeezeecave @mybonafidefeelings @masterajoy314 @xenaizogie @blacksapphhicmaddonna @scribblecake

Alsoo!! Happy birthday to my wife <333 a thousand, million, trillion billion kisses!! 😘😘😘

She knows everything about you.

Yet sometimes, you sit and think at night. Slowly giving life to a trecherous fear that you didn't know much about Nomi herself.

She wanted to keep a few things confidential from you and you respected that but the excuses to leave for weeks, even fly over seas, and come back with a blind eye to your suppressed melancholy like nothing happened started to aggrivate you.

She couldn't have missed it, it was often hid lazily behind your polite guise when she greeted your baby. All you could do was worry and painfully ache at the thought of her going again, leaving you to keep reassuring your one year old daughter that nomi had places to be.

Sometimes you would try to pry but the way she effortlessly ushered you into another topic was astounding. Nomi undoubtedly had a shit ton of secrets and you had to confront her about them if she wanted to love and be around you as someone more than a good friend..

"I hope when you get older, you're able to tell me anything." You stroked your daughters small curls as she gnawed on her fist, she garbled incoherent sounds but her doe eyes were glued to you like she was partially listening.

Laosa was your world, your hearts capacity, your biggest reason to breathe everyday. You'd do anything for her well being and if you had to cut some certain people off, so be it.

"Ghhh.. grrrhh.." she flailed her arms and twisted back and forth as you furrowed your brows and held her hips, "What's up, hm?"

"Muh mii.." she looked at the front door and leaned against the back of your thighs while gnawing on her fist again.

"Are you saying mommy?" You smiled, fingers gliding across her stomach as she giggled aloud. Screaming in the midst while she squirmed and you eventually stopped to let laosa lay against your chest as you focused back on your movie.

You knew Laosa wasn't going to nap unless you continued rubbing her back so while you both shared a night alone in your cozy apartment, no disturbments.

A sudden knock had came. In the wee hours of the night.

You snapped your head to the door, feeling an exhausted anger draw out with your deep exhale.

"Who in the world could be at my damn door this late." You looked at your baby and carefully took her in your arms, hand coming over her ear so it could muffle your strides and anything else that could potentially wake her up. You reached the front door and squinted in the peep hole.

Feeling an eminent shock halt everything in your body like a hiccup. Nomi leaned against the wall opposite from your apartment door in a long trenchcoat. Seemingly in deep thought as she remained still and waiting.

Normally she came with a notice and during the daytime but for her to show up like this with nothing but a bag on her person was strange.

"The hell.." you mumbled, but her eyes drifted up from their initial spot on the ground, darting to the very bottom of your apartment door as she momentarily pinched her eyebrows together. Could she hear you?

".... might as well." You sighed and situated laosa on your hip as you went to open the door. Nomi's figure straightened up as the locks began moving and then the door cracked, revealing you.

She smiled faintly, mouth parting to say.

"Hey."

"Hey?" You whispered in confusion as she pushed herself off the wall and approached you just before the threshold.

"Um," she sighed shaking her head. "I should have texted you but my phone got broken during this accident so..." you furrowed your brows.

"What'd you get yourself into now." Your eyes trail up her figure as she chuckled but nothing in the world seemed funny at this moment.

"Car crash actually." You gasped softly, door widening as she glanced at the interior of your home just wanting fall inside for a good night, she returned her tired gaze to you.

"A-are you hurt?"

"Shoulder's a bit sore but I'm fine really." She assured in coaxing deep tone, making you both blend into a silence of distant cars and quiet crickets.

"Well, come in." You turned on your heel and made way for nomi to follow you as she shut the door and remained behind you like a shadow.

Even while you carefully placed laosa in her crib, kissing her on the forehead while tucking her in a blanket that might be tugged off later in the night but for now your baby was safe and warm.

You rubbed her silky young hair and muttered a sweet affirmation into her ear before leaning up and sighing. Nomi took her bag off, eyes not leaving the resting baby girl.

"Can I kiss her goodnight."

Something inside you got effected at how she mumbled that request, almost as if she needed it.

"Yeah, I'm going to head to bed." You walked out of the room and she watched your figure retreat around the corner, afterwards walking to the edge of the crib where laosa's head laid.

Smiling softly at her little beads of hair because it reminded her of her own. She leaned down to laosa and kissed her temple. Just existing in her presence was slowly dominating her fear of being close with the people she loved.

It was scary to hold you at night and realize you were sound asleep while she stayed awake and stared at nothing. Just waiting for something unexpectant, a built in mode of survival engraved into the marrow of her bones.

It was scary to feel a plethora of things just because you smiled at her and treated her like a nice human being. Not knowing that she could change into the complete opposite.

It was scary to surrender. To allow the two most precious things in the world to possess her once idle beating heart.

But although nomi was scared, she wasn't a coward. And she'd die before abandoning the both of you. That was a commitment she agreed with internally.

Eventually she left the room quietly while shutting the door and made her way to your room, the door was cracked but she knocked anyway and when you granted her permission nomi caught you in the midst of sliding into bed.

You were silent tonight. Very concisely worded and it was one of the things on her list that were rated as torture. So as always she asked you how you felt, "are you angry with me?" You sighed and turned on your side with the cover pulled over.

"I have nothing to be angry about."

"But you are." She got comfortable under the covers once she shed off her trechcoat and made her feet bare.

"Am not." The agent completely disregarded your defense and rolled on her stomach just behind you, head looming above your ear.

"If you want to talk we can talk. You're not tired." She stated from the fact that you haven't stopped shaking your leg. Its just the thing you do when your up, but drifting between laziness.

"Nomi." You turned around as she raised her brows and tilted her head.

"Hm?"

Go to sleep. Thats what you should have said but you didn't. She grew unsure of your stretched pause, the rush of blood in her body making her wound ache but she was still as stone. Deep eyes switching between your own.

"What is it, y/n." You contemplated shortly before answering.

"How did you get in that car crash?" She then looked weirdly dull. Eyes wandering from your own to glance at something blankly.

"The person who hit me was a reckless driver. Isn't that the main cause of every car accident?" She slowly fluttered her lashes at you and furrowed her brows.

"Tell me about it?" You rise up against the headboard as she cautiously followed suit.

"Well, I was driving on my way to you actually before someone hit me from the side during a speed chase. The impact caused me to slam into the drivers door."

"And what's the condition on your shoulder?"

Nomi bit her lip and let a sort of silence stretch until she was comfortable responding back, "that's not how my shoulder got messed up."

"... can I see?" She puts a hand infront of you in a halting manner, wordlessly unbuttoning her shirt with one hand.

"I got it. Let me." You offered and she was going to protest but your hands had already gently eased her own off and finished the task, having the shirt ready to be pealed back.

Your fingertips traced the bandage around the upper joint of her limb and gently pressed around, above, near the edge of her right armpit and then finally in the middle. Nomi hissed immediately, discomfort taking her feautures for a moment.

"So its right there, is it a spring, twist, bone out of place?"

"It's... more like a gun shot wound." She shrugged with one shoulder before pulling her shirt back on.

"Who shot you?!" You slightly raised your voice as she closed her eyes and pressed her index finger to her lips. Listening out for laosa's potential cries. Then she reopened them and dragged them from the bedroom door to your face.

"I'll make it short."

"Make it clear." you demanded, a douse of anger that hid in your silence finally jumped into your tone. Nomi sighed.

"The police caught up with the other car, they ended up crashing with me and while I exited my vehicle.. I was blindly shot. That's all that happened, darling." You stared into her eyes, a soft frown etched into your feautures that she didn't appreciate one bit, but she believed she could fix it.

"So.. can we sleep together tonight? I haven't laid with you.." Nomi leaned closer to your body and wrapped her good arm around your waist, connecting your foreheads.

"In weeks." You take a deep breath and crossed your hands in your lap.

"Please?"

"... yeah.." you let go of it tonight, telling the inner voices in your head to shut up about the fact that you may be sensing Nomi isn't telling you the whole truth.

"That's my girl." Your bodies lower back into the bed as she welcomes you on her chest and you try you best to avoid applying more weight to her right shoulder.

Though the next morning, doesn't turn out like you expect.

You hear the television and sounds of cheesy nursery rhymes frolicking throughout the place. And there's a smell in the air, pleasant, delicious yet different from you normally whip up in the kitchen. You inhale with relief.

She's still here.

That old smile of yours started to form on your face as you turned in the pillows. Now you're eased onto your stomach and lying there undisturbed.

But suddenly the door creaked open and seeing as you're awake, you decide to easedrop.

"There. There goes your mommy all knocked out and sleeping sound, try not to wake her up yeah?" Nomi whispered as she bounced your baby girl on her hip and comfortingly let her small hand squeeze her thumb. Her doe eyes were glued to you.

"Satisfied little spy?" Laosa did a sort of wobbly nod as she squirmed on Nomi's hip and held her thumb harder. The woman raised her brows.

"Back in the living room I suppose." Nomi glanced at the lump in the sheets and quietly closed the door as you continued 'sleeping'. A short chuckle left you, fingers coming to wipe your eyes of any residue while you sat up.

Your arms dropped to bed and then flung the covers off so you could go to the bathroom and freshen up. Once you reached the living room you saw Nomi writing on a note pad while multitasking with spoon feeding Laosa.

She squished Nomi's forearm and took the spoon of baby food with a gurgle before softly falling back in the seat.

Nomi underlined a few things with haste and sensed someone approaching, eyes drifting up to the sight of you in your long gown and it made her marvel, "Good morning, Darling."

"Good morning, thanks for feeding laosa" you sighed gently was going sit on seat next to the woman but one of her arms hooked around your waist and eased you onto her lap. You parted your lips to say something and she stared up at you with faux innocence.

"You're welcome. Does that earn me a kiss?"

"Don't know?" Her arm flexed to hold you tighter and you could feel her plump lips pressing into the bare skin of your shoulder blades and neck.

"Stop being stubborn." she rasped in your ear as you shifted on her lap. Instinctively pressing back into her embrace. Nomi raised her hand to turn your chin so she could kiss you, but just as your mouths was centimeters away a wet glob landed on Nomi's temple.

She leaned back as you did aswell and gaped at the orange mess dripping down her face. Nomi shook her head and grabbed a few napkins off the table to wipe her skin. You laughed loudly while she chuckled.

"Not funny."

"Lala doesn't think mimi deserves a kiss?" You cooed at your baby and escaped from nomi to pick her up from the high seat as she giggled.

Nomi sat while looking between the both of your faces as something bright swelled within her heart. The feeling all too familiar.

"Your plate of breakfast is on the counter, I'm going to take a shower" Nomi snapped out of her trance and excused herself with fake irritation.

Once she was out of sight you did reprimand the newborn with a whisper before setting her down somewhere she could play.

The breakfast Nomi made was pretty good, she never failed a dish anyway. It tracked all the way back to the second date at her apartment when nomi cooked for you. She looked hot and whatnot while slinging an oven rag over her shoulder, shaking a pan of frying vegetables, which accentuated the muscles in her arm.

She was picture perfect, you could say.

Very relaxed, knew how to have a good time, never really jealous, made you laugh in any circumstances and she always blew the fuse out of an argument in the best ways. Nomi apologizes.

Which she never does to anyone but you. She isn't touchy either but she craves your cuddles and kisses, especially when you squish her face when you're extra happy.

The only you didn't like was her reluctantance.

Nomi could've been your girlfriend by now but everytime you brought that topic up she just steer the convo.

Solidifying your relationship despite all things you do for eachother was a pretty big step for her, one Nomi needs to grow longer legs for.

And you'd give her countless days that extended to weeks and months. But you'd be insane if you were going to continue being in the 'talking' stage with her after a year.

So the fears began to creep.

Is she playing you? Are you just an excellent hang around? Will Nomi eventually grow bored of you and.. leave?

You slowly chew on your food and make the fork meet your plate, mood soured and spoiled. You just end up wrapping it all up and putting it in the fridge before walking to the bedroom.

Your arms are placed behind you as you sit on the bed, waiting. Now you wanted to talk.

After twelve minutes went past the shower finally cut off and there was some shuffling and the close of a cabinet, then the knob twisted and she padded out with a towel around her body.

"You sneak.." Her British accent irked and attracted you at the same time while she approached your drawers.

"Whatever.. " you mumbled, Nomi payed you no mind until she glanced back.

".. Mind if I burrow some clothes?" You shrugged as she turned back and fished out some comfortable clothes. She discarded her towel and unfolded the pair of sweats to pull it over her legs and pulled a t-shirt over her head.

You looked elsewhere the whole time until a presence could be felt dipping into the mattress, a hand took your idle one and interlaced their fingers.

"You're silent again." Nomi searched for an explanation in your body language that your mouth wasn't going to give right away.

"I want to talk this time." You utter.

Nomi nibbles on her lips, "About what, I'm all ears."

"About how I feel," Nomi hummed as she examined you from head to toe.

"Go on?" her lips pinched into a straight line as you were getting ready to respond.

"I want to know more about you." You stood strong yet you felt like dissapearing due to her deep stare.

"Im very private you know that, you also know enough darling, what's the real issue." She furrowed her brows.

"The real issue is.. your enough, isn't my enough. Look, I won't beat around the bush.. you've been keeping me in the dark for a while." You pressed. She scratched her brow slowly and dropped her hand in her lap.

"If that's how you feel-"

"And I do?" You state, tone defensive. You take your hands back for yourself.

"You make me worried sick? I— I can't keep any tabs on you whatsoever, I don't know what your job profession is, where you dissapear off to, I don't even know your schedule which I always stay considerate of no matter how odd it is.. and how it may be eating into my time." you breathe in deeply.

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that you got shot?"

"Y/n-" your hands then jab at your chest.

"As your...... hell I don't even know what am to you at this point but I'm pretty angry at the possibility that you may be keeping some huge secrets from me while I expose my whole life to you?"

"Y/n, you know who you are to me."

"Do I? What's our status, how am I special?"

"You're.. " my love. Nomi didn't think she could say that to you, every time her toungue fell limp and her jaw clenched. She loved you more than you could imagine but knew where admitting to it would get her. She felt unworthy of you. Prohibited and Insecure.

The way she lived glued her to this mindset.

Your shoulders dropped.

"Exactly. I can't bring myself to play pretend the next day when my heart's still sore from you choosing when to come and go. Giving that same explanation of work," you groan, "its like I always make time for you but you don't make enough time for me... I'm doubting if what I'm trying to do is right.."

"What is that?"

"Trying to gain your trust. Your reassurance. I mean we are getting to know eachother so we can potentially be together... but you obviously haven't felt that close with me yet so you have the obvious option Nomi..."

"Don't.. don't do that." She glared, you couldn't be insinuating that. And the way her name came out of your mouth wasn't soothing her like usual.

"Then tell me what I should know, from the moment we first met." You lay out your request on the table while Nomi sits deep in thought for a proper response back. She wouldn't lie and say she didn't realize you feeling this way, she always knew.

But the last thing Nomi wanted was for you to leave her for it. She just needed more time, but now the hourglass had finally ran out.

"You want," with a pounding heart.

"trust.. openness? fine. But If I'm speaking from the deepest part of my heart, all I ever did was try to protect you and Laosa."

"Protect us from what?!"

"Simple answer?" She placed her palms infront of her as you demanded with a raising brow.

"The simplest."

"I work with the government."

"..... Nomi if you're an FBI Agent you could've told me-"

"Not that type of agent." She frowned, eyes closing momentarily.

"Then.." you trailed off. Nomi crossed her arms and fully turned to you, face giving confliction and compromise at the same time. This was it. If she told you, everything would change.

She'd overcome that boulder that layed atop her jurisdiction once and for all. You deserved to know.

"Nomi?"

"I'm the one that.. takes care of the criminals you thankfully haven't heard on the news. People like me handle.. them— i-in advance."

"Oh."

"Listen-"

"Is that how you got shot?" Stunned silence.

"My." You turned away.

Nomi breathes in deeply. "I'm finally coming clean to you about what I'm hiding and now you're shutting me out? Y/n look at me."

"..I can't..." You're reluctant. But a now cold hand reaches for your arm with gentleness. Light as feather and you let Nomi settle behind you with the fearful thought of a reptile slithering around your skin.

"Darling." But you snap out of it, you have too. Upon this news you feel like everything you've known about her is a lie and all that she is, is her choice of work. An agent. But you know deep down Nomi is more.

"If only you were willing to understand." She rubbed her hands down your arms and held you firmly, feeling your deep trembles.

"I've had to do unspeakable things for this world. I've had to kill." You squeeze your eyes shut while hers bore into the wall ahead.

"Would it alleviate the weight off your shoulders if I told you all of them were really.. really bad people." She put her chin in your neck and pulled you closer than you already were, squeezing, making you slightly breathless.

"A.. life, is a life." You exhaled.

"And what is a justice?" She whispered, hold suddenly loosening. The truth. It filled you with so many emotions that you though you were prepared for but weren't. After all, this was what you wanted.

So now you must make a choice.

"Nomi." You mutter and then swallow. The agent is silent, arms still interlocked around your abdomen. She's torn in her thoughts, remaining clueless about if you'll end things with her or not. Its maddening.

".. Nomi." Your voice wavers and it's painful to consider the thought that leaves your throat sore in guilt.

"You need time." She abruptly pulled away from you and got off the bed, darting her burning eyes to the ground.

"When you've come to a decision... call me." Nomi states as clear she can while gathering her things.

She's gone quick and two times the door gets shut. Mimicking the breaking of your crystal glass heart.

This was best for now.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four Days.

A Thursday had never felt so.. empty. Nomi skimmed her cabinets for numerous bottles of dark liquors and sweetly bitter remedies that left her body ablaze right under her skin. She didn't grow tired often, not remembering a proper trip the bed in that span of time.

Maybe a crash on the couch every blue moon. Or a late night ride.. past your complex.

Every blue moon, though.

Nomi knew she could give into her intrusive thoughts and scoop you and laosa up. Proposing a stay at her Mediterranean and remote home while you continued to think. In her passanger seat. As long as you both were in her reach. That's all she wanted.

The agent put her hand on the car door, fingers eerily still on the handle as she pondered on it. She could do it, she really could. Your usually home this hour anyway, probably making fragrances or nurturing your baby on the lap while the TV remained on.

Desperate.

Come on, thats desperate.

Nomi clenched her jaw and brought her hands back on the steering wheel, leaving the premises without hesitation and internally degrading herself on the way. She had to be patient.

Meanwhile you were in the house wondering how to contact her, as if you could send a simple text or call. But what would you say, how would you say it.. in which way would you deliver your sentiment. Should you give it a little more time and think logically rather than your heart taking all the space up in your head.

The organ told you to forgive nomi and continue loving her. To be willing to understand like she wanted. And you truly wanted to but you were scared. Images of her bandaged shoulder and how exhausted she looked with slighty sunken eyes. You couldn't bare to see her so..

Beat.

You sighed and stood up to put laosa to bed again. A sad frown etched into your features while you thought of the woman.

Tonight's dreams had mimicked your pain in distorted ways that made stubborn tears escape through your closed eyes and your heart did its familiar, agonizing turn and twist.

But as always, the sun did its usual appearance and you were still slumped in bed when a buzz from your phone had you stirring in the sheets.

Buzz

"Ugh.." you turned on your side.

Buzz

"Mtch.. shoot." You grumbled and quickly reached for your phone on the nightstand. After rubbing your eyes and blinking the blurriness away you noticed there were text messages, from Nomi.

Mimi💕: I have to report back to work on Monday.

We need to talk soon.

Your face twisted up into an angry pout as your feet kicked in a dramatic toddler fashion. You weren't ready to face her at all, even looking at her blue text bubbles made you feel intimidated. You thought of responding or leaving Nomi on read for a minute to recollect yourself.

You chose the latter.

Today wasn't the best day to talk, you had to be at work by nine and drop laosa off to daycare, along with a ton of other things. You sighed and got out of bed to freshen up and make breakfast.

Throwing some bacon in the oven before you went into the baby room and eased Laosa out of her slumber.

Her little body was putty in your arms as you carried her to restroom and got her ready for the day aswell. She could barely sit up straight when you brought a soft brush along her scalp.

"Lala.." her eyes squinted open to your voice as she slightly perked up and then slumped again.

"Reminds me of when I used to brush her hair after a good old wash day" you mumbled with a smile while fitting a puffy headband on the little girls head. The longer you stared into the mirror and reflected, the more you missed her.

And it was at that moment when your chest began to hurt again that you knew you had to do it. You couldn't delay this talk. So hopefully there could be a slot in time for your discussion.

#lashana lynch #black wlw #nomi #007 #no time to die #nomi x black fem #nomi x fem #lesbian

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