#not just hair struggles anymore

[cherry-alive]

Most of the time it's not that big of a deal, my symptoms are mild and I have ways to work around it in most areas. But sometimes my lack of coordination and fine motor skills is really really annoying. I feel really happy when I look pretty, and want to do things like braid my hair or paint my nails or wear makeup or put on clip-on earrings or do jewelry clasps or do up little buttons or whatever. And I can't do any of that stuff easily, and some of it I can't do at all. I don't have the tremor in my hands I had when I was on lithium, at least, that sucked. But my coordination and motor skills are still pretty poor and it makes it really hard to do a lot of things like that, and it's just frustrating. I'm trying to learn how anyway but I just wish it was easier.

#text post #my post #really really wish i had gotten the occupational therapy i needed as a kid #my brother got ot! i did not :( #even though i 'failed scissors' in preschool and could never figure out how to ride a bike and couldn't hold pencils right and etc etc etc #sigh #i will learn how to put on jewelry! i will learn how to do my hair! i will practice a lot and i'll figure it out! #it's just annoying that it takes so long and is so confusing and overwhelming and my hands just don't always do what i want them to #this post brought to you by: finally buying some cute clip on earrings (yay!) and struggling and failing to put them on (not yay) #i'm allergic to metal so don't have my ears pierced anymore but got clip ons with resin clips so i won't have a reaction #but they're sooooo hard to put on :( :( :( #i'm going to figure it out though. i want to wear earrings!!

[the-acid-pear]

I'm gonna kill myself someone tell op to unblock me RIGHT NOW.

#luly talks #thid post was made for me op forget about our past (i have no clue who they fucking are) PLEASE #not that it'll stop me this post is mine already #but FUCK is it a good post AUTISTIC PATTY MY MAN 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 #LITERALLY YOU GO BACK TO ME AT THE START OF THIS YEAR OR MAYBE THE END OF THE LAST AND ALL IM DOING IS LIKE #RIP OFF MY HAIR AND THROW UP AND BE LIKE I'm just like Patrick Bateman fr BECAUSE I COULDN'T COPE W THE STRUGGLES OF AUTISM ANYMORE #THAT'S WHY MY ARTBLOG BANNER IS THAT #NEVER FUCKING FORGET THAT PATTY B. IS MY MAN AND THAT I LOVE HIM SO MUCHSSSS >_< !!!!!!!

[maudiemoods]

Hair? Falling out from stress!! Chest? In constant pain!! Eyes? Dead and tired!! Brain? Overthinking and emotional!! Hygiene? Routine completely forgotten!!

#ren won't shut up #waaaaeaeawaaaawawaaaawaawaawaasuwauuwa #ignore #GIRL WHAT IS GOING ON?? #I'll be getting a therapist soon but hot DAMN i am struggling #my hair is so thin now :(( #my eyes look terrible? and not from the lack of sleep. i sleep enough i just dont rest #if I disappear for a few days its because im trying to figure my shit out lmao #i have severe undiagnosed/untreated mental illnesses lmaoooo #idk whats going on anymore waaaa #i used to ve about to control all of this waaa #tw mental illness #tw mental breakdown #?? i guess im having a breakdown And you all are just witnessing it? sorryy #cw mental health #idk sorry if i dont tag this right jdjsjs #probably will delete later? idk

[narke]

im sorry i cant do it. im a misandrist. if a man is ugly AND his personality is bad i cant hear him out

#long hair isnt even anything to me anymore theres so many men with long hair that are just men with short hair with long hair #i was like i should at least try to give ** and the ***** a chance but i caaaant theyre nothing to me #liiiike u cant even have a charming personality about it… ur just irritating… pick a struggle

[hollyhomburg]

What inspired you to write about body image issues and ED’s in BILY? I really love how you’ve portrayed it across different characters within the story, it feels very vivid and real.

ahhh it was my own experience with ed's that inspired the m/cs struggles in bily. i wish i could say it was a good decision, but my first foray into really addressing it in the hospital chapter triggered me into the darkest time in my ed. i think i can be transparent about it now that writing about it and putting myself into that headspace again was not something i was ready for. i think it comes across as very vivid and real because i was not well when i was writing it! i hope that doesn't change your perspective on it.

#i'm still not strictly 'well' i'll say #it's a daily struggle for me still #although at least i'm not going like multiple days without eating anymore #not to tell on myself but #not i just call it 'intermittent fasting' 💀 #but eating one big meal a day is still one big meal #my weight is really stable and my hair isn't falling out as bad

[flower-zombie-rob]

Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.

#Sometimes I really do just honestly kind of hate her. I know it's a horrible thing to say about one's parents who care for them but it's #true. With the way that she treats me and criticises me and takes every advantage of a chance to tear me down it just really hurts all the #time. I can't criticise her because she ll fly off the handle at me and say how many things she does for me that i dont apreciate enough #But for her she can say as many times as she wants that she doesn't like my hair and she doesn't like the way I dress and she doesn't like #This the way I look and she doesn't like the way I stand and she doesn't like the things I say and she doesn't like my beliefs #She can say she doesn't like my tone of voice and that she doesn't like the way i stress out about things and im not allowed to say #A negative word about her in edgeways when she's allowed to tear me down on a constant basis and make me hate myself. As someone who really #Struggles with a lot of self loathing problems and self hatred she really does just rip into me with no restraint constantly. She knows #That I suffer with some serious rejection sensitive dysphoria that I am trying to get therapist help for and she still has no restraint #When it comes to criticising me and everything I am and everything I like. And she has the goal to do this thing where she is kind of peer #Pressures me into agreeing with the things that she says which in turn just makes me consolidate those horrible beliefs about myself in my #own head. If I don't agree with her criticism of me I can't just say so I have to not along with her and affirm to myself that those #Things are true. That I don't like my own hair that I don't like my face and my makeup and my clothes. That my preferences are wrong and #That I dress too androgynously. That I could never experiment with things like pronouns or gender and that I have to agree with societally #Homophobic undertoned things that she says because I can't bare to have her criticise me again and again and again for critisising her. #I can't do this anymore it makes me dread every time she comes into my room to talk to me about some new thing she doesn't like about me. I #And constantly stressing about how much people dislike me and how annoying I am #And the fact that I'm literally hiding the things that I want to wear from her so i can put them on when i get away from her and yet she #she will still get upset if I criticise her for making me literally hate myself on a regular basis. she wont beleive me and she'll be #Confused if I have a belief that doesn't match hers and she'll get so excited when I even possibly hint at doing something to my appearance #that she likes and knows I don't. I worry wake for comic corner she wouldn't shut up about how much my hair looks really good in a style i #dont want to cut it. If I dress in a way that's openly queer she ll act like I'm going to get #and i quote “the wrong kind of attention” Because she thinks that me even possibly being misgendered because of my clothing is a #disgusting crime and that I should be the perfect Barbie doll pink pretty princess she always wanted her children to be. She wants me to be #Someone that I can't be comfortably and she's essentially forcing me to fit this mould of her preferred child. Which obviously makes me #Despise who I am and hate my own interests and style. And as horrible and hurtful as it is to say this #I can't wait to get away from her. #sigh #vent #harsh morning

[imaginationblur]

My brother is choosing his fixations on PURPOSE I swear to god, why is it that he now fixates on franchises that have characters with the WILDEST hair WHY-

Anyways, “sworn sisters” my ass.

#sideshow bob looking ass #love them tho look at these spunky lil lesbs #imagie kid draws #dragon ball #dragon ball super #Kale #caulifa #what the FUCK are with these names someone EXPLAIN #lmfaooo fuck it tho it’s funny #artists on tumblr #simple draw bc I’m tired and don’t know what to do anymore lol #I’m just here for fun #dragon ball kefla #super #kefla #I’m proud of myself of the hair btw if y’all see the hair I draw I STRUGGLE with anime hair fuck that #I don’t care if it don’t look right IT LOOKS RIGHG YO ME!!!

[circusclownproductions]

UR GINGER???

im sorry ophelia, but idk if we can be friends anymore </3 im gingerphobic

/J /J

Oh boy /lh/nm

#I’m trying so hard not to sound mad I pinky pinky promise I’m not mad at you I’m just tired but I have made like 3 posts addressing this #kind of joke and the post I just made about expressing my feelings was me asking my friend not to say things like this about my hair or my #autism as much anymore #I get that you’re joking I really really do #but it’s just so fucking hard to hear after the millionth time bro #and I already hate myself and my appearance so much that hearing this every five seconds really doesn’t help #I’m sorry if I sound whiny or if I’m making a big deal out of nothing I’m trying not to be a baby about it or stress you out cuz I don’t #want you to think you did anything wrong cuz you didn’t and you couldn’t have known how much I’ve been struggling with this recently #but I really wish people would stop with the hatred of redheads even if it’s just joking because after a while of people just joking it #starts to feel like they’re just hiding behind the guise of a joke and trying to express how much they hate you #and when you already have an anxiety disorder that’s rlly easy to jump to #I’m sorry if this is annoying or dramatic and I’m also sorry if it makes you anxious at all I love you ghost I’m sorry I didn’t handle this #the way you probably expected I’ve just been really sensitive to stuff recently cuz I’m kind of at a low point but I’m getting off topic im #sorry #again I’m not mad I swear I promise #ghost 🖤 #🪽 #/gen all of it

[selcouth-vast-poet]

OUGHHH MY GOD FINALLY

#HAIR. DEEP CONDITIONED AND READY TO DRY #whyyy textures hair is such a struggle to deal with. nevet again! (i say like i chose it) #i probbaly shpupdnt have fried it repeateldy but who Cares #BUT SERIOUSLY. I JUST CANT DO ALL THAT STUFF IN THE HAIR ROUTINE #I HAVE TO STYLE IT??? #i uystn stopped doing that tor a short amount of it and its. GOOD LORD #dry as hell. God save my hair..... #but i cant bring myself to style it anymore. very bored! #my ramblings #this time it was a full on ramble #sorry to my new followers who have to seethe most random things when you followd for sometning else #you can mute the tag #cause i cant shut up

[milo-is-rambling]

My mother really out here telling me “you just make all the plans for driving and I’ll work around that” and then a couple days later once I’ve made plans and talked to people about shit she’s like hey actually you should come up a day earlier so you can get your grandparents (who are practically falling apart mentally and physically and my grandfather pisses himself and if he pees in the car that I am both sleeping and driving in I will be upset!!!) in the middle of Maine and drive them to New Hampshire for me bc I will be too tired from getting a three hour flight to go drive them :’( AS IF IM NOT DRIVING SIX HOURS OR MORE EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK HELLO??? YOU CANT DRIVE FIVE HOURS AFTER SLEEPING THE WHOLE TIME ON A THREE HOUR FLIGHT LIKE I KNOW ITS CRAMPED AND MISERABLE BUT YOU’RE GOING TO GO FROM A PLANE TO A NICE RENTAL CAR VS ME SLEEPING IN THE FUCKING TRUNK FOR A WEEK LIKE GIRL WHAT YOU ALREADY TOLD ME TO PLAN EVERYTHING AND NOW YOU’RE MOVING SHIT AROUND AND SHES ALL LIKE “well your aunt is gonna be visiting on the 11th so I have to get a flight on the 12th and then graduation is on the 13th early in the morning so I just won’t have time to go get them” LIKE GIRL THIS IS THE SAME AUNT THAT IS COMING TO OUR HOUSE FOR ONE SINGULAR DAY AND THEN WE WILL SEE HER AGAIN IN NEW HAMPSHIRE WHILE WE ARE ON OUR TRIP LIKE YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME “oh don’t worry about missing her we’re gonna do the graduation party at her house when we’re up north” AND THEN YOU WONT SHIFT YOUR PLANS ONE DAY TO FIX ALL OF THE SCHEDULING CONFLICTS BUT YOU WANT ME TO TWEAK A WHOLE WEEK OF DRIVING PLANS BACK A DAY TO MAKE IT MORE CONVENIENT FOR YOU and also I simply don’t want to. Also the garbage truck just passed bc I slept in and I don’t think we got the garbage out and I know we definitely didn’t get the trash from my room or bathroom out of the house and so now moms gonna be pissed at me for that god fuck this is so infuriating I am not planning a trip while on my period ever again I want to bite my mothers head off for even suggesting an alternate plan what is wrong with me I am such a bitch what the fuck no wonder she fucking hates me okay I am going back to bed she can figure this shit out later when she’s not slamming doors and yelling about work

#I want to rip my hair out #why does she say yeah we can work around whatever plans you make and then immediately she’s like oh haha nevermind #and I know I’m overreacting I know I’m being a bitch and I should fold to my mothers needs or whatever but like simply put I don’t want to #deal with my grandparents (if they were dwarves in Snow White they would be called Naggy and Pissy) and I don’t want to deal with their huge #looming sense of dread bc they both know they are old and losing it and that their kids are dead and we are the only family they care about #and I was already nervous about spending any time with them at graduation and now my mom wants me alone in a car with them for HOURS #like I simply don’t want to and I don’t want to think about dad and I don’t want to think about them and I don’t want to drive the extra #hours or anything like ugh I just don’t want to. I want to get high on Millie’s couch and have a relaxing day after driving that much on the #way up and I want to only have to drive three hours to my brother and I want ti already be there for graduation that morning I don’t want to #go any earlier or later than I had planned bc I planned distances by how much driving I thought I could take at a time and If I add an extra #day of driving I will be exhausted and add emotional exhaustion to that from seeing family and add fucking bitchy mood and being judged on #my music or my driving or being asked about what I plan to do with my life or what have I been doing since dad died or are you okay? is your #mother struggling? (and not being able to talk about my mom going out and dating and getting laid and ignoring my dead father and their dead #son bc it’s the only way she’s coping with any of this anymore) #I just don’t want to. and I hope my mother will step up and change her shit to deal with them but if they don’t I’ll have to deal with it #and just get over it but fuck I really really really don’t want to #it just annoys me that my mother would rather move all of my plans back a day than not see my aunt for what six hours here when we’re #literally going to see her up north like five days later #like can’t you just wait to see her. like she has seen the house before. she knows what a screened in patio looks like. they’ve seen the car #before like they will know if they want the car or not before they see it they know the model and they know it’s sat in our driveway for #months and months like they are aware of the car so you don’t need to say that’s the big important reason for them to visit #I’m such an asshole what the fuck is wrong with me I’m really unwilling to have any changes made to my plans #my brother would fucking bend over backwards and do whatever my mother asks and she is so mad that I’m not like that and I should be why am #I not like that why don’t I do all the shit she does for me why am I such a bitch what is wrong with me #I am already exhausted today I only slept for four hours #I just want to skip to me being on the road already. need to smoke a cigarette at a truck stop out of state it will fix me honestly

[sundewa]

have been attempting to draw some ace attorney characters over the past week and im struggling so much LMAO i think its genuinely giving me art block at this point

#ive scrapped three separate canvases this day alone #opened ms paint. drew a silly little cat. closed everything #tomorrow i will try again <3 #ougaggagghghh i think its partially because i just dont draw fanart much anymore? #like with hc i had designs for every character and i had the liberty to do whatever i wanted with them bc the base references are literally #just cubes #so theres no solid hair style or shapes or complex details or whatever #then i try drawing for a different media and. there ARE smaller details and hair styles and shapes #and my brain is struggling with it #sun.txt

[miragemage]

i know where the shame in being trans came from (my parents) but I was lying to myself about myself more than anything, basically from middle school until I was a fully grown adult.

#in middle school I dated a girl who only agreed to date me because i told her one day i would be a boy. #which is wild to me now. i realized when i was younger that i was Gendered in some way #and i attempted to act on it as a younger teenager. binding with bandages and too-right sports bras #stealing my brothers clothes because they didn't give me an anxiety attack to leave the house in #i came out to my mother at 15 while we were on a long drive #she told me i was wrong. ''if you were trans there would have been signs.'' #and then we didn't talk anymore. i bottled it everything up and started doubling down on being as feminine as possible #i struggled with being feminine. i never felt like i was doing it correctly. i would watch makeup tutorials. fashion videos. hair tutorials #and i would work so hard to be the most feminine version of myself because i thought if i just Did It Right it would feel right eventually. #but i came to the realization i was miserable. deeply miserable. so i worked very slowly at overcoming my fear and self hate and eventually #i had the courage to buy a binder. and that was it. I haven't looked back. #that first time trying it on was exhilarating. i had never felt like my body was mine until i saw my flat chest in a t-shirt.

[bosspigeon]

i cannot express enough how Fucking Insane this last month has made me feel. i've been living with someone for almost a year who was emotionally manipulative, entitled, and codepedent to a destructive degree, who turned out to be violent to boot, was guilted (and borderline threatened) by her enabling parents for daring to call the cops on their darling child, and got kicked out of my home (which never actually felt like my home due to aforementioned violent, entitled brat) thanks to her decisions.

it's almost over, but i've felt so completely unmoored and lost for the past month because this person who insisted until the end that she was my friend and she cared about me caused me so much grief and devastation because i snapped and told her something about herself that she didn't want to hear

i just want to understand what kind of person can do shit like this, not even for the first time, and still be convinced she's a good person and nothing bad she's ever done is her fault. i know i'm never going to understand, and i could drive myself crazy trying, but i just. i don't get it. i don't understand how someone can be so fucking awful.

#pidge whines #sorry im just #im finally getting to the end #seeing the light at the end of the tunnel #its going to be rough adjusting #its expensive to live in a one bedroom #especially in my city #but i cant live with other people anymore #i cant trust people anymore #not when a certain shade of blue makes my heart pound #not when i see a girl in public with a particular shade of faded-pink hair and want to hide #not when im lying in bed unable to sleep because im convinced her rich parents are going to make me regret getting their kid arrested #im just trying to tell myself it's going to be worth it #that struggle of being forced to essentially rebuild my life from the ground up is going to be worth it #i won't have to ask permission to cook myself a meal #i won't have to guard my food like a starving animal #i wont have to worry about my dog being hurt and neglected when im not around to protect her #i wont have to walk on eggshells and hide in my bedroom to avoid upsetting the person i live with #i can feel safe again

[dylanconrique]

just a girl that's always forced to bottle up her emotions for the sake of others.

#*carly catalogs #tbd #and then everyone in my family has the audacity to be soooo shocked whenever i can't take it anymore and have an outburt #fucking hate it here i hate that my mother only allows one emotion in her house (happiness) #when she knows full well she has mentally ill children who all struggle with being happy #plus i'm human jfc i'm not a robot and it is my god given right to be angery/sad/depressed/etc #uggghh i can't deal with this anymore i can't deal with my family anymore i'm so detached from them we are absolutely nothing alike #god idk what to do idk how to even vent and get all this out i just keep pulling at my hair #i feel like i'm gonna spontaneously combust #let me be angry let me be sad let me be whatever! just let me be!!!!! #ig i just gotta try and take my mind off it... try to catch up on pjo

[anitaheartsu]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ 🦢 calling jjk men “daddy” for the first time (part one (?)) — gojo + toji

navigation masterlists

‧₊˚c/w. daddy kink (who woulda thunk), gojo pet names (baby, babe), cowgirl w gojo, dom!gojo, toji uses “slut” once, doggy w toji (w some belly bulge cuz i can’t help myself), dom!toji, fem!reader, afab!reader, reader not addressed using pronouns

‧₊˚notes. wanna write this w nanami and geto next!!

༉‧₊˚. gojo

his lazy ass has you doing all the work. your thighs are aching from trying to go faster on top of him, chasing that high that you need so bad right now.

and satoru’s doing nothing but watching you struggle, hands resting behind his head. he has that stupid fucking smirk plastered on his pink lips and, god, you hate to admit it, but it makes that feeling in your core even stronger.

“toru..” you whine through gritted teeth, splaying your hands out on his chest, opting to grind yourself on his cock instead. your clit rubs against his pubes, eliciting a moan from your throat.

“wha’s wrong, baby?” his hand move to lightly trace over your hips. you pray he’ll grip them and fuck up into you, but to no avail. before you can even beg for it he’s taking his hands back to their original position.

those blue eyes are piercing, you swear they can see into you—every part of you, beyond the physical. he knows what you want, he just won’t give it and it’s driving you to desperate measures.

“need help,” you sigh, leaning over him, your chest against his, deeply fucking his cock in and out of you upon slightly regaining your stamina. “please, daddy, need t’get fucked.”

not even you know where that came from, much less does satoru.

but you didn’t stop your movements on his cock and you knew you hadn’t made a mistake when you watched his eyes roll back and felt him twitch inside you <3

“fuck, babe, say that again,” his voice is whiny and breathy now, his brows furrowing upward.

he looked so needy. from one word.

“please, daddy..”

and before you know it, his heels dig into the mattress and he holds your hips in place, pumping you full over and over, pulling the air from your lungs, just like you needed.

“gonna make you—haah, fuck—cum all over this dick, baby.”

༉‧₊˚. toji

he had you in doggy, one hand holding your head down into the pillow while his other was wrapped around your waist, squeezing and pushing the soft fat of your belly, feeling his cock bulge from inside of you.

you were already fucked practically out of your mind—the only words you knew anymore were varying moans of toji’s name.

and when his dick hit you at that perfect angle paired with how his heavy balls were slapping against your clit, you swear you could’ve broken.

“tojiii, s’good right there—oh my god,” your voice was muffled by the pillows under you, masking the cry your throat lets loose when he quickens his pace.

“yeah, that cock’s fuckin’ you right, huh, slut?” his brows are furrowed and his breathing is rapid.

he lets go of your hair so that he can hold your hips and ram you onto him even harder—if that was even possible—but you don’t have the willpower to lift your face from the pillows.

“daddyyy, don’t st—op,” your hands form fists in the sheets now, searching for some way to remain lucid under the brute of the man that is toji fushiguro.

so much so, that you don’t even realize what you just said until he snickers behind you.

“so fuckin’ dirty,” a groan climbs past his lips when you clench around him, “wan’me to be yer’ daddy? yeah?”

you can only respond in strangled moans, but toji doesn’t seem to mind!

“gonna get you addicted to daddy’s cock.”

© anitaheartsu

#anitaheartsu #jjk smut #toji smut #toji fushigro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk x reader

[ravenbees]

drawing is the devil’s vocation

#um u ever struggle to draw someone you know well or at least you feel like you know their face well & you’re sorting through your feelings #about them and would like to sketch them as you do it but it never turns out right and then you feel like maybe you don’t know them at all #since you can’t even get their face right. and then maybe you try and think of the clearest memory you have of their face the sharpest image #and it happens to be from a rather intimate moment but you’re just sketching & then it turns out perfectly. more real than the memory and #holding their personality in every little line. and now you just have this scrap of notebook paper with one of the best likenesses you’ve #done in a while ripped out of the page because it’s too suggestive in the hair and eyelids and lips and suggestion of shoulder but maybe its #just because you know the full frame of that memory but like. what do u do then. hypothetically #it’s too clearly them to post anywhere and the person you live with hates this person & you don’t really talk to them & certainly aren’t at #the level of sending softcore pencil sketches of each other #anymore. but at one point you were and it would have been rlly funny #self #*******