#oh no low self-esteem

[heretherebedork]

Enemies to lovers with a touch of rivals and a whole heaping load of low self-esteem and mediocre acting? Oh no, I've been seduced!

But I won't really be posting about this show at all tbh, I don't wanna support them do this. Watching gray and everything.

#francis watches bl #look i am enjoying this #i am easy to get with trash and mediocre BL #i love tropes okay? #stfu #oh no low self-esteem #one of my weaknesses

[daily-hanamura]

#persona 4 #p4 #persona 4 magician manga #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #you know despite all the evidence i dont think yosuke actually realises that he's actually quite attractive and good looking #kou talks about girls coming over to check him out and sure maybe it's just the novelty of him being a new student #but his hometown friend katsuragi FOR SURE has a crush on him look at this classic shoujo scene where katsuragi sees a text from yosuke and #smiles in a way that has him being teased like ooooh is that from a girl #getting a text from yosuke makes katsuragi smile in a way like one would when they havr a crush OK I DONT HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS FURTHER #ITS TOO OBVIOUS AND I LOVE IT BUT #this is a yosuke centric blog and all these to say.... i wonder if yosuke is actually just seriously oblivious #to when people are interested in him #i think it stems from a place of low self esteem like “oh who could possibly like me” even when hes actually quite a solid catch #yosuke probably receives letters of confession in his shoebox and thinks they were placed in the wrong box so he politely returns them #when they actually have his name on it he just laughs and says wow theres another yosuke/hanamura in this school? #or assumes its a prank by someone else #i swear this boy had the most OUT THERE mental gymnastics going on #yosuke talks endlessly about how he wants a girlfriend but i bet you if a girl asks him out his response will be “go where?” #“oh maybe later? i have a shift today but if it's a junes related issue you can find me at the grocery dept! seeya!” #theres the whole “disappointment the moment he opens his mouth” thing but come on #theres going to be at least some confessions from people who have only seen him from afar #not to mention that yosuke canonically likes fashion and always dresses well #honestly maybe yosuke's rizz lvl is so high that it just circles down into the negatives #only joking i think he does get interest but he doesnt realise #and because everytime he does attempt to flirt hes immediately rejected he thinks hes never had any interest #which i think is just not true #and i havent even started talking about yu lmao #anyway the magician manga was devastating for my mental health and i beseech all of you to resd it as well and then cry about it with me #he's good with his queue

[shima-draws]

Slamming my head against the wall god fucking DAMMIT I'm so in love with Sanlu I am GOING to explode.

#One Piece #Sanlu #Sanji #Luffy #IDK WHAT IT IS!! IDK!!!! #Still love Zolu with all my heart but oh my GOD Sanlu. They are everything. #I might be reading too many fics bc it really feels like a fanon thing that Sanji's actually like #Really insecure and has low self-esteem #OR MAYBE THAT'S CANON IDK!! #But hnghhh Luffy being the one to be like. Hey I like you for you and not for your past #And I love everything about you and that's a FACT and not a lie and I want to keep you with me forever #AND I WILL NEVER REPLACE YOU WITH ANYBODY ELSE. YOU ARE MY COOK AND I DON'T EVER WANT ANOTHER #And Sanji craving affection and validation and praise SO bad that whenever Luffy gives it to him he wants to cry #BASHES MY HEAD INTO A TABLE AUUGHGHGHG SHUT UP!!!!! #MAYBE THAT'S FANON SANLU BUT YOU KNOW WHAT. I DON'T CARE IT'S SO GOOD #SLURPS THAT SHIT UP #Sanji especially feeling that he's not worthy enough for Luffy and thinking it'd be impossible to have him #So when Luffy actually does reciprocate he's in SHOCK bc how. How could Luffy pick HIM of all people #Cut to Sanji feeling like the LUCKIEST motherfucker on the planet bc he gets to have Luffy. SCORE. #Luffy blowing away all of his insecurities and anxieties and worry just by being himself and being so #STUPIDLY in love with him is just #HOLLERS AND SMACKS THE TABLE REPEATEDLY #ALSO IT DOESN'T HELP THAT OPLA MADE IT SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS TOO #Luffy complimented his cooking one (1) time #And Sanji was like okay yup packing my bags for the Merry as we speak #When he smiles and looks a little flustered at Luffy's attention. #Oh my fucking god. Strangling myself. #THEY ARE EVERYTHING!!! #Shima speaks

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I feel like there’s a point to be made about how SVSSS, MXTX’s first novel, deliberately comments on and explores the prevalence of tragically orphaned, traumatised protagonists through Luo Binghe (both versions), and explores how that trope would actually affect the characters as people. Meanwhile, her second novel tells the story of someone who at face value has a very similarly generic backstory, but she deliberately breaks past those narrative confines with Wei Wuxian, whose identity doesn’t depend on that at all. 

Both characters have a very similar, deliberately ‘generic’ backstory – orphaned very young, grew up on the streets in poverty, were taken in by a cultivation sect but were abused by someone in power, and so on – but what separates them is their actions and levels of agency (both narrative and personal). If the value of it for Luo Binghe is to comment on and exploring its use as a button for sympathy points, the value of it for Wei Wuxian is to actively reject that use, and rather than using it as a way to make him tragic and sympathetic because of his helplessness, it’s used to enhance his narrative agency. He isn’t defined by it, he’s defined by what he does despite that.

#lbh is pretty much what fanon wwx is by the way #you want someone with self-esteem issues born out of a traumatic backstory? #someone with low self-worth despite being very powerful? #someone who WILL chase after someone they loved even after that person has hurt them a lot? #(not to compare sqq to jc their situations were EXTREMELY different #and sqq was generally much nicer to lbh than jc to wwx #and there's absolutely no romantic interest in canon between wwx and jc at all) #lbh is very much driven by a desire to be needed and loved by someone #and his self worth kind of depends on that #(unlike wwx) #both characters are so much more interesting when read as what they ARE #if you want fanon wwx's personality don't push that onto canon him just go read scum villain ok #it's good #OH also yeah morally grey? LBH #even excluding bingge (though i'm not sure you could even argue him being morally GREY he's a black lotus for a reason) #internal morality doesn't really play a part in what he decides to do #anyway #mdzs #mdzs meta #svsss #svsss meta #scum villian self saving system #wei wuxian #luo binghe #this is a prequel to a longer post exploring how wwx's narrative agency is treated #because there's a LOT to say about that #my meta

[blee-bleep]

so what if i go insane and draw diakko as these panels

#so like we know how akko probably has low self-esteem post chariot reveal right #like she went all this way only to find out everything she knew was a fraud #but still powers thru lona and sorta has semi-self deprecating thoughts like kana has occasionally #diana doesnt comfort her and they get into a fight and it turns into this #*twirls hair* so like i just wanna make them suffer~ #diana is so hellbent on repressing her feelings that inadvertently plummets akko's own self esteem #but akko's own source of comfort of self is that diana considers her a friend and rival but then diana avoids her and starts dating andrew #and akko's own sense of self gets WORSE and she doesnt find much to comfort #knowing it was all for naught because what she thought she had in her was just stolen long ago #like sure she saved magic and all but like it was surely traumatic for her #so wants something to confide in that no it wasnt a mistake #BUT THEN DIANA just doesnt interact with her anymore #and she tries her hardest to befriend her again after their rocky start and thought diana would be ok but then #uh oh diana catches feelings and stays away and akko's heart just breaks when diana does anything and everything to avoid her #akko after diana pushes her to the ground: do you... really hate me that much? #“youre right im still so stupid diana im sorry i wont talk to you again” #and diana just sits there in the rain like shinji on the chair LOL #diakko #aqukana #lwa #onk #little witch academia #oshi no ko #diana cavendish #akko kagari #hoshino aqua #arima kana #*eats this panels like peter eating burger meme* exquisite angst *gets food poisoning*

[nothing0fnothing]

No because one time I was crying because my mom made so many horrible remarks about my body and my weight and how nobody would ever want to be my friend or want to marry me if I continued to be fat and then she got uncomfortable because I wouldn't stop crying even after she told me to so she followed all that up with "I know it's hard to hear but the truth hurts."

I was eight.

#narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #vent post #toxic parents #toxic mom #parental abuse #complex trauma #dysfunctional family #childhood trauma #dysfunctional household #wtf mom #wtf even was that? #oh also #after that happened i became really obsessed with my weight and would tell other adults that i hated my body. #and they would tell my mom they were worried about my mental wellbeing because that level of low self esteem is not normal. #and she would get really emotional and well up and hug me and tell me she loved me and that i am beautiful in front of them. #but then in the car she would tell me that if i cared that much about my weight id be spending less time telling her friends about it #and more time exercising. #i was literally sobbing #i was literally eight.

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

i volunteer at my uni art gallery doing weekly tours and when i got in today there was an envelope in the volunteer cupboard adressed to me 👀 just got home and opened it and it's £20??????? that a couple i gave a tour to last week left for me???? that's so nice omg???

#maybe i'm a paid worker after all......... #but seriously i'm probably going to cry. lol #not to get deep but six months ago i wouldn't have believed i could do this #and tbh i still have low self esteem and find it hard to believe i could be good at anything but especially v public facing roles #but apparently someone liked it so much they specifically left money for me????? oh my god?!?!? #maybe..... i'm good??? #v nice end to a weird week #🧃

[nothingtoseeherebyeexx]

the way i relate to regulus (cr!regulus in particular) is concerning but hey!! at least i know the money i’m spending on my therapist isn’t wasted

#it’s the low self esteem #and the #gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing #oh and the relationship issues :d #marauders #marauders era #regulus black #coming out as a reggie kinnie #crimson rivers

[azureblooet]

Ok like Regardless of how much you liked Steven Universe you gotta appreciate how fucking genius fusions are.

Like??? gurl you get to mash your little guys together and go "ok what's wrong with them now?" that is some good ass food right there.

#azure’s bullshit #Like remember when the show had an episode of “huh what do Steven and Amethyst have in common?” and the show went “they both hate themself" #like they were so real for that #oh two characters have low self esteem but dont outwardly display it? #how about we give them 2x that #for *character* #damn bestie what if we were a metaphor for cooperation? #what if we both had a similar but subtle problem which becomes too much when combined? #Like Opal was like “both amethyst and Pearl got that tunnel vision~” #also the Lapis and jasper's relationship was PEAK writing #they was cooking with GAS #honestly? a lot of gem shit was cooking #like it was TAILOR made to be charcter study after character study #it ATE #each of these rocks are mentally ill gurlllllll #what is it about rocks that make us make them sad #steven universe #steven universe appreciation #su appreciation

[cerealmonster15]

truly part of why most things i show or whatever r sketchy doodles i did in one sitting is that it is always a race against the clock when im doing something before The Evil takes over and eats me. i get stressed about if i try to actually make something pretty bc i know i cant lol, and if i take too long [staring nervously at the google docs i keep opening and closing] on a fic it's harder to finish bc i start Thinking about it too much and if it's any good or if it's cringe or What Ever

#a battle against myself truly lol .................. #ive been making slow progress on the kalim/silver and jamil/azul story but. but. #im stuck and afraid lol #the heartslabyul thing i started writing a month ago i am like. at the end ? it's a short little simple thing but #ive frozen in like 'oh this is lame and bad and boring and cringe actually' and cant bring myself to finish #i have a cater/trey thing where i wrote up the idea/concept notes when the idea came to me #bc it's both a ship fic and also a character/relationship study #but then thats one where im extra afraid to write it bc it's likeohhh i want it to be good and handled well and i want my #point to come across and i dont want to fuck it up #grrr grrr grrr the downside of perception is thinking too much of. the perception of others JKLFDSJKFLJS #i want to be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #also i just have. personal issues. self love issues LOL but im not getting into that rn. #i also have had nasty allergies all week girl help it's raining pollen and my throats fucked up #i took a covid test today just in case and it was negative #and my partner hasnt gotten sick from kissing me so im more sure its allergies lol but OUGHGHGHGHH feels ick #ok anyway. fics and fanart or w/e. it all comes back to the root problem of I Have Low Self Esteem GOODBYE!!!! #🤧🤧🤧!!!!!!!!!!!

[smute]

big epiphany you guys. big. huge.

#cliffnotes for context: smute almost finish masters. smute think oh‚ maybe phd not crazy wacko shit‚ maybe i can try #but smute also low self esteem. with any small setback - smute think oh what is point. smute bound to fail #problem is: smute genuine self doubt = smute quotidian frustration #ok normal english now #so thats what i realized today. a lot of the ''small'' things i dream of (financial independence‚ a nice little apartment etc) are #expressions of some low level frustration with my nomadic broke student life #rather than genuine desires. and as dumb or as #duh #obvious as that may sound rn #its actually huge for me that i was able to recognize the difference today #this question of what i will do after i graduate has been haunting me for the past year #and i am now realizing that a lot of my own arguments have nothing to do with what i want #just because they're things i don't currently have doesn't mean they would be fulfilling #and #again. duh. #but like. between this debilitating self doubt and certain external pressures 🤨 it was hard to see the difference #anyway i basically just explored some alternative scenarios today #like specific scenarios. went on indeed found some really good stuff and tried to imagine my life a year from now if i took this or that jo #and the end result was that i fucking hated it. they were all great options on paper but the takeaway was that i would never forgive myself #if i didnt give this a try. if i prioritized some vague notion of independence or this idea of ''settling down'' or whatever the fuck #over the one thing that ive got going for me #like i still don't know if the academic path will be any more fulfilling than some other job #god knows my entire academic career so far has been an insane uphill battle. but it's also been so fucking rewarding. like nothing else #and i also still dont know how genuine this wish is #if it's not maybe still about proving myself to some imaginary authority #but like. how long can you psychoanalyze yourself before your goddamn head explodes #no matter how pure my motivation is im beginning to understand that i dont want this to be the end of the road #and maybe that's enough #&

[alilaro]

the barbie movie should be state-sanctioned mandatory viewing

#i saw it today and like......... i crie #like its such a good movie that gives a perfect breakdown of misogyny and just the overall toxic beauty standards society holds over people #and even kinda touches on how easy it can be for young boys to be black-pilled and sent down pipelines for like andrew tate-type misogyny b #and how thats untrue and ultimately makes men unhappy and ends up damaging all genders #its very like nah fuck you its not women its bc ur depressed and toxic and you cant hold women responsible for your own misery #and not her job to educate and hold your hand or reward u for not being a piece of shit #but ALSO if you are AFAB boy howdy this shit was like free therapy #like thanks greta my pores are clear my mental illness is gone and my cellulite & unproportionate body with asymmetric features looks GREAT #like fr movie to watch when you got low-self esteem bc it makes you feel human and worthy and YOU are beautiful and important #also theres a trans; plus-sized; and disabled barbie !!! #two of them are the main barbies!!!!!!!! AAHHHHH #plus many non-white barbies #bro fr blows my mind theres a trans woman on screen as like a main barbie thats fucking WILD #they mustve had to fight like fuck to get that #oh another reason to like the film: conservatives are going to VOMIT BLOOD over it #mfs are going to be pissing and shitting and crying and cumming and contracting and just MALDING over a feel-good barbie movie #and i love that for us as a society 💅🏻 #barbie #greta gerwig #barbie movie #barbie spoilers #???? i guess #also sorry for all the tags holy SHIT #i just have a lot of FEELINGS

[gurorori]

bein' completely honest here i have considered npd shu be4 soooo often cause the. the shoe fits (laugh please), i feel like his past & family environment cld really serve as a push, in the end cluster Bs r all jus' sets of survival & coping tactics ya adopt into yr personality as a result of unjust treatment & trauma <- this is true

nawt 2 armchair diagnose him but like we shall go over sum npd traits. cause we kno here it ain't jus' high self esteem (when the opposite is usually evident)

↓↓↓

intentionally or nawt i feel like exvalk shu especially fits the npd mold like dat was his entire character conflict /lh (i miss him)

> a grandiose sense of self-importance

need i say anythin'. listen 2 like the first shu voiceline in ! it was literally 'i am the emperor of ymnsk academy'. .. doesn't he also go as far as 2 declare himself the god of this world? like ''kono sekai no kami da' i remember dat. oh & how much stronger & imposin' his timbre was compared 2 how much softer his voice is rn. he was very much self-focused even though it manifested thru valkyrie, he was distinctly treatin' the unit as his creation & his own creation only. the focus on the self is very real

> a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

i feel like if ya know shu ya will nod away at every single one of these cause. pre-fall valk <- dat wasn' even a fantasy, i feel like he was really narc-thrivin' back then cause it was the reality, they WERE on top. (srry if ya came here 4 thorough analysis i don' do that round here i jus' show ya smth & we both nod solemnly) success, power, brilliance, beauty, even ideal love (shnz wink?) - exvalk shu is both a perfectionist & a maximalist i think he craved it all, an' even when he has achieved great success he jus' can't get enuff, leadin' him 2 get overconfident 2 the point where he was /dat/ oblivious 2 his own (& valkyrie's, but at dat time he saw valkyrie as himself only, & the rest as just an extension, a tool) imminent demise practically laid out in front of him.

> a belief that he or she is special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions

this guy?

the guy who calls the general public philistines & views ppl who don' adhere 2 the same high standards he holds 4 himself imbeciles?

> a need for excessive admiration

the 'go on, praise me more!' guy? it might seem at first like he'd b too prideful 2 outright ask 4 external validation but if ya really look a bit into it, he's very reliant on it.. i think it gets amplified by bein' an idol too, bein' very self conscious of yr image. ofc mr oshisan wld find himself in a field where the entire point is 2 b the center of attention & appraisal.

> a sense of entitlement

i think this jus' circles back 2 every other point i made...!!!! exvalk shu is control & acknowledgment hungry. he wants 2 step on n crush the skulls of every1 who is unworthy & soar thru the skies on the mechanical wings of valkyrie.. or wtv. he is intensely focused on his goal 2 the point of tunnel vision cause he fully believes himself 2 deserve the throne. no1 else can b above him. he despises 'commoners' & those below him yet who brought him all the recognition & glory? wats the expression? rest on yr laurels? dunno if 'm usin' it correctly!!!

i also hope i don' come off as dramatisin' too much. like ik marionette is literally jus' one story but i feel it dat much stronger, i guess. 4 (introject) reasons. i hope these things don' read as a huge stretch.

> interpersonally exploitive behavior

> a lack of empathy

> envy of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her

gettin' lazy. i feel like this cld jus' b self explanatory... i don' wanna go in depth into every single one 4 shu, esp cuz. ya don' need every single criteria 2 match. 4 a diagnosis. but if ya have any specific moments 4 this one feel free 2 add on 👍🏼

> a demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes

#mika caws #srry like half of these r me goin' 'well it's self explanatory' but it rly is. cause i know him personally. #an' likr all of ya kno him closely too. i don' need 2 wrte an essay. we all kno it's true. #but also i feel da need 2 mention the self esteem bit cuz i feel like its a stereotype dat those with npd have jus'. an unshakable solid #high self esteem which is why they behave & carry themselves da way they do. which is nawt even half of da truth! #while yehs usually 'high' it tends 2 b very fragile cause the things they rely on 2 upkeep it r all said factors like #specifically external validation. individuals w npd tend 2 b deeply insecure n self loathin' too & struggle w low self esteem as well #idk if the high self esteem bein' described as like a 'mask' or a false front is veryyyy correct in the case of npd #i ain't sure how pw/npd feel ab it either so hey if any1 come across it feel free 2 input #but yea i feel like dat bit of nuance is important esp when ya look at exvalk's imminent fall & how strongly it affected shu's entire #interior & exterior. like wow wat a narc crash... r ya ok queen #if any1 finds thjs thru any search stuffs like. pls keep in mind this wasn' meant 2 breach containment #oh an' if sum parts of jt R indeed a stretch idgaf. so many of my exomemories focus on the exvalk period specifically so it's very saturate #in my head. i wasn' writin' this balls deep in marionette i was jus pullin' wat i have in storage

[non-un-topo]

No one talks about this so here's a small reminder to keep your eyes on your own plate. If a skinny person is refusing food, it does not necessarily mean a) they have a restrictive eating disorder or b) they are calling you fat. Mind your business.

#food tw #ed mention #i think about this a lot because i've been having a lot of health issues #and just yesterday i was diagnosed with something to do with my stomach. and i am a skinny person. #i can't tell you the amount of times i've refused something that will undoubtedly irritate my stomach - #- and the people around me (always women bc they're taught to hate themselves) always say 'oh i shouldn't either actually' #or they tell me their whole life story like 'yeah i actually can't eat a lot in the morning either' 'i have trouble finishing sandwiches' #and????? congratulations?? like it's none of my business and what i eat is none of your business so..? #it really is annoying and i don't want to be that skinny person who complains but no one talks about this. #i'm not this way by choice. but if i was that also shouldn't matter. i'm not judging you by refusing food?? #literally eat whatever you want. all food is food. i don't subscribe to the 'pure' or 'good' food bs. don't involve me bc i'm thin. #((disclaimer. i very much know how ED brain works and i'm very aware of how low self-esteem works and screws with your head.))

[mxwhore]

i think its safe to assume that my husband is Gorgeous and Smart and so good at Creature Knowing

I usually am but im having trouble identifying this species of fungi i found back home! Its an absolute beauty, i tell ya

#my low self esteem: (is low) #my wonderful hubby: (sends this ask) #me: oh right i am cool ♡♡ ilysm... #tessa answers!

[fightwing]

it's so important to me that for as guarded as dick can be with his emotions he is also so blatantly obvious

#whenever i think of dick not liking someone i immediately think of how obvious he was with jp/v #and his pettiness charms me unfortunately. #like dont get me wrong dick doesnt like jp/v for some other reasons but the fact #that even a little bit of it is that bruce asked him to be bman first and was mean to tim once #tickles me. like dick can 'idc what bruce thinks of me' all he wants but the second bruce actually does #go to someone else for a job he knows dick doesnt want dicks like oh so you hate me? you wish i was dead you think im useless? #and hes SO defensive of tim especially early tim as rob.in years #'you like rob.in' and dicks like 'are you trying to start a fight???' #his low self esteem and big brother instincts have charmed me. #* i'd love to write but it's just not realistic / ooc.