#once again gonna do the thing where i apologize for talking on my blog even if its a dumb thing to apologize for | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nobodysdaydreams · 6 months

Text

I Should Have Guessed Psycho-Boomer Would Be A Fanboy of His Own Manual. And Where Is His Glorified Secretary Getting Her Attitude From? (or my reaction to Wolf359 mini episodes 6-13).

Welcome back dear readers. Thanks again for your patience. Everyone has been excited for the mini episodes, so I'm eager to see what they've been so excited for.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Mini Episode 6: Once in a Lifetime

Okay, just from these episode descriptions, I'm starting to think that these episodes are gonna be Cutter BSing them into this mission.

Get ready for some ✨Cutter hate✨

2013? I think that's one of the first times we've gotten a year.

"He doesn't bite. Much" YES HE DOES RACHEL AND APPARENTLY SO DO YOU.

"Director of Communications?" Wrong. That's DOUG's job and he's better at it than you Cutter. Even if he is a pizza delivery boy.

Cutter shut up.

Cutter and Rachel shut up! THANK YOU MINKOWSKI.

"All they want is poster children and sob stories. We like people that can fly ships." Sounds like Renee wasn't the ONLY one rejected from NASA, huh Cutter? 👀 Aw, did they not like the fact that you murder people? Did they think your space ideas were crazy and unethical?

I think I'll call Rachel Cutter's glorified secretary. As for Cutter, I think that's simply enough for him. There aren't enough words in the English language or any language to give him

Wait what does her dad have to do with this? Andre? Astrophysics? Early retirement?

Why do I think Cutter had something to do with that "early retirement"? How old is he? He sounds about as old as Minkowski, but the actors all seem around the same age and Doug's Hilbert voice sounds older, so it's hard to tell their ages. Based on where Cutter is in his career, I'm guess he's older.

I hate this because YOU KNOW THEY ALL SAY YES. And you just want to shake them and scream not. PLEASE TELL ME YOUR HUSBAND SAYS NO.

Journalist? I hope he blows this wide open Cutter.

Oh my gosh he can adjust his salary? That means he controls the press.

Why is Cutter talking about Renee's parents like he knew them personally? "They would have done so much more if they hadn't gotten married and had kids." Why are you talking like a bitter male tenured professor who never found love to his female graduate students?

SHE MATTERS A LOT MORE THAN YOU CUTTER.

"Don't make your parents mistakes Renee" hm. sounds like someone is projecting his own issues.

"no one will dare reject you again" BECAUSE SHE'LL BE DEAD.

"My husband is going to kill me" No, but Cutter will.

But I hope you kill him first. And I hope your husband destroys him in his newspaper.

I am loving and hating these episodes.

Mini Episode 7: Rebranding

Look like it's Hilbert's turn for the chopping block, oh sorry! I mean uh...✨exclusive job opportunity✨

St. Petersburg 1989?

But this is number 2? So...these aren't in order? Is this Cutter organizing his files because he's numbering system makes no sense.

Yet another way he has proven incompetent.

Ugh. It even sounds cold. I had it.

CUTTER BROKE INTO HIS HOUSE.

Okay granted, that's far from the worst thing he's ever done, but still man, kinda creepy.

"Tricks don't scare him?" Tell WHO he should know better? Who else is threatening Hilbert.

"I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world" "That's very nice for you" 😂 It's nice to actually see Hilbert not going for Cutter's bs.

And he's right. There are other geneticists closer to home. Ah...the retroviruses.

The most realistic thing about this entire show is "oh I want to research something very important! Let's see who's doing it so that I can contact them and get a job" and it's one guy in the middle of nowhere.

Who is Victor Stewkoff? Why does he knew about Hilbert I mean uh Dimitri's research?

"Dr. Stewoff died last year" "Of course he did"

So either Cutter's lying about the conversation, when it took place, or he for sure killed that man.

"Are you referring to the human trials?"

That silence is an overwhelming yes.

"Matter of time" mmm... Cutter does not seem like that patient type.

And I'm sorry. If you're doing creepy illegal experiments, you should know better than to trust a man who comes to you and says he's cool with it. Takes a monster to know one.

So he promised him a chance to perform his illegal research? But...what does that have to do with space?

"The last member of your family died when you were 9" wait...what about his sister? I thought he said she survived, or maybe she died a little later?

"Any discoveries you make will belong to us" don't like that. I mean, that's how it is, but in this case, I don't like this.

Cutter's like "I'm paying off the IRB man, geez do I have to spell it out for you man?"

Again, sad because we know what choice they are going to make.

Does the retrovirus have a name? Decima. Wait. The what? Oh rebranding.

WAIT. WAIT.

WILLIAM CARTER.

AS IN PRYCE AND CARTER?

AS IN THE TEXTBOOK THAT CUTTER FANBOY'S OVER.

Let me listen again. I think I heard that right.

Oh my gosh. I'm so stupid. Rule of writing: don't give your characters similar names that can easily be confused by the readers UNLESS you're trying to make some sort of point with it. Don't know how I let that one get past me.

He really is like that professor who makes all his students buy his book.

Who the heck is Pryce? Is that another one of his fake names? Or is that a colleague he axed off years ago?

And why did he change his name?

Also if he's already a powerful adult with his own company in the 80's then he and Hilbert are for sure older than Eiffel and Minkowski.

Actually, I take it back. Maybe I do have a nickname for Cutter after all. "Psycho-Boomer". Probably did some surgery on himself to make himself sound like he's in his twenties (though by the way he laughs, you'd swear he was a nine year old tee hee hee 🙄).

Hopeful we'll get to see the boomer go "boom!" very very soon...

Mini Episode 8: Language Mapping

This one is Maxwell's. How is Cutter ordering these? Oh back to 2013.

Is Cutter organizing these in terms of threat level? Because if so, it's honestly accurate to put Minkowski first and the scientists next, though I KNOW his errand boys would be devasted. Doug probably wouldn't care.

Oh no wait this isn't Cutter. Huh. Hello Whiskey boy.

Why doesn't Maxwell want to be here?

HOW MANY SECRETARYS DOES CUTTER NEED?

Yeah, this IS harassment. How on earth could they have not broken any laws?

"You could have come to work for us." That's...that's not a solution.

Redneck teachers? Did not expect that background.

Sounds like she's very different from her family. Maybe that's why she doesn't talk to them. Is she embarrassed by them?

Hm. Don't like Maxwell yelling at the AI ethics committee. Well actually I suppose it depends. Was she advocating for their rights or against them? And was she doing so for the wellbeing of humanity and the AI or her own interests?

"Someone has to bully them into being brave. Somebody needs to push".

Maxwell. I agree that sometimes progress needs to happen. But if you don't do it carefully and with ethics in mind, bad things tend to happen. Very very bad things.

Especially when someone else controls the rights to your technology. Of course there's the whole "if they didn't hire me they'd find someone else" but still...Maxwell this is bad.

Do not be fooled by the flashy lights and buttons and sound effects!

"Whoever built this is brilliant and they already work for you. Why me?"

Good point.

"I need someone who can talk to things that aren't human."

^Great idea Whiskey boy. I'll call Doug. Dr. Robot needs to earn my trust first. Not sure how I feel about her nickname. It doesn't have the same punch as the others, but it does fit.

Oh great the Whiskey speech again. At least he earns his nickname.

Mini Episode 9: Greensboro

Number 4, 2010. Ah Lovelace.

Once again, if this is the order in which crew members present a danger to Cutter, I'm agreeing so far.

I wonder how similar hers will be the Minkowski's.

"We don't do interviews, well yes we do some. But that's only when we don't want to hire someone and need a reason." Why do I feel like that's a straight up lie?

"Infiltrate the company and bring it down from the inside" I love the foreshadowing and double meaning. It also makes me sad to remind me that Lovelace used to have Doug's sense of humor before she lost all her friends.

It's not standard protocol. No one else had a polygraph, and Hilbert was doing human experiments.

"Convicted of a crime? Are you an alien?" OH MY GOSH PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS FORESHADOWING.

(Actually don't tell me, but...I hope it is).

Do you love your father? Have you always wanted to serve in the armed forces? What are these questions?

Ma'am this medical stuff is private.

They interviewed the people working for her? Cutter is literally everywhere. Well, I suppose Psycho-boomer has been blackmailing people since the 50s so such. I wish he'd hurry and die.

"You do this for everyone?" No they don't.

"We're screening you for a different job" Nope. Nope. Don't like that. Usually means you're about to get underpaid for your talents. "Sorry the job you wanted didn't work, but oh look! We did find something." In this case, something worse.

I hate the lie detector.

I want to hook it up to Cutter, but psycho-boomer probably knows how to trick the test.

Mini Episode 10: Things That Break Other Things

Duck boy! Are we gonna get to see him get attack by a duck? Boy do I hope so.

San Francisco 2011?

Duck Boy is a heavy drinker. Fantastic. Just the man you want holding your explosives.

"Buy you a drink." Uh. What. Oh it's a fancy one too.

Yeah Jacobi this is weird. He's coming on too strong. Time to bail.

My gosh what happened to Jacobi in the military? He sounds traumatized. Did it involve the Duck?

"Did you serve?" "No." Hm. Wonder why.

Oh Duck Boy has daddy issues. Why is no one surprised.

Jacobi's dad: "You think you're man enough for the Airforce? Can even fight one lousy duck?"

Oh he has bad depth perception too? Wow, yeah, sounds like it's a great idea to give him explosives.

"I'm good at making things that break other things. Including people".

Don't like that. Sounds like Duck Boy might not either. Haunted by ghosts perhaps? Perhaps Discount Cutter can take that conscience off your hands.

Went off early during a test. Two guys died. Well ain't that a shame for you Duck Boy. But hey, what better way to get over the guys you killed than by killing more people for a boss that doesn't care?

"You'll never work in this planet again" well funny you should mention that...

I see. So this happened in 2009.

"most of the world is profoundly stupid" why would I not be surprised that discount cutter is into eugenics?

Oh he left his business card.

Would have been funny if Duck Boy had just knocked if off the table or forgot to call the number.

Mini Episode 11: Decommissioned

EVERYONE SHUT UP THEY'RE DOING ONE FOR HERA!

No longer do I agree that this is in the order of "threat to Cutter", but I suppose from his perspective...

Ah 2012.

Unit 214? Her name is Hera. And how many of her are there? Do they all have the same voice and personality?

"Do you remember me? Do you know who I am?" Ugh. Don't like that.

"Where am I?" poor Hera.

Yeah they need to stop talking like she's not here.

"Your science board rejected me." Interesting. Most of Cutter's approach has been "X won't let you do something. But I will :)." But with Hera, his own people rejected her, but he seems to like the reason. "Poor social skills". Huh. Odd thing to prioritize.

"Don't think of it as dead. Decommissioned." Yeah. It's basically dead. Or asleep. Depends on whether someone wakes you up again.

"Helpful for everyone". No helpful for you Cutter.

What did Hera do? Misguided bid for independence? Record for rogue AI attempting jailbreak?

Psycho-boomer is so unstable. I swear, he likes the risk of using Hera just to prove to himself that she actually can't destroy him.

"We're not about to start forcing anyone to do something against their will. But if you don't do what we ask, we'll kill you :)" Cutter you suck.

And it's sad because Hera probably just thought this was how he spoke to AI. So she didn't warn the other humans because she figured they'd be fine.

"Maybe I should see if Dr..." What doctor?

Oh he called her Hera. Feeling a little disgusted by that fact that he's the one who gave her her name.

Though it beats "Unit 214"

Mini Episode 12: Pagliacci

Doug's turn!

Oh dear. Are we gonna find out about his charges.

Texas. 2013.

Ugh I HATE the sound of those heels and fancy dress shoes.

Oh he's in jail. Yep, called that one pretty quickly.

"Are you my lawyer?" oh Doug you really are lost. And yeah, that's not how it works.

Wow. Glorified Secretary is very classist. Girl your salary comes from a man who'd kill you without a second thought. Maybe cool on the comments and take a breath while you still can.

"Scary Ally McBeal" nice nickname.

"You are extremely and infuriatingly lucky" Yep and he's gonna be lucky enough to kill you by the end. If Doug's going back to prison anyway, he has nothing to lose by ending your life.

"What do you want from me?" Your soul. What else?

Doug. He's not kidding. He's crazy. Now PLEASE go back to prison.

"Maybe I don't want your way out." Oh Doug feels like he deserves to be there. 🥺

Who is Ann? Yikes, yeah, Cutter you crossed a line there. Is that his wife? Daughter? Mom? Girlfriend?

DAUGHTER?

Oh. And he's promising everything Doug can't give her.

For my TMBS mutuals: something something something...MBS space AU...something something something...Curtain, Milligan, and Kate...you get what I'm saying right?

Mini Episode 13: Kansas

2009. Oh the same year Duck Boy had his little accident.

And...Discount Cutter is last. Where he belongs. How sweet.

Looks like somebody's not as "in" the "inner-circle" as he thought.

How do you like being on the expendables list Whiskey Boy?

"I am accountable to two men in this company"

Cutter and...who? Pryce? It doesn't sound like he's talking about Rachel.

"Step into the elevator" Nope. Miss me with that tower of terror bs.

Who the heck is Richard? Did I miss something? Another errand boy?

Oh Cutter's voice is infuriating. I now imagine him as a 70 year old man who has given himself throat surgery to sound younger. Like an smug elementary school know-it-all-kid voice. Yes, I understand it's just the voice actor's voice and age, but it's still funny to imagine. "William Carter" it even sounds like an old man boomer name.

"You're never going to stop are you? You're like me." Exactly. Discount Cutter earned his nickname. But Whiskey boy is nice too.

Richard Littlewood. What a name.

"It's a shame that you weren't there." Ohhhh... he's using Kepler to edge out Richard Littlewood.

"You're going to crucify him." "No silly, I'm going to hang him."

Cutter really said I want him gone without the mess. Psycho-boomer really is the worst.

"Am I going up or down?" You're going to the very top...metaphorically. But we're going very very far down."

I would have to agree. Hell is very far down indeed.

"Don't tell me you believed that." I didn't. Why would anyone?

Oh. The Black Archives. FINALLY.

The files on a 1978 early deep space mission. First contact.

Wait. So they've known about the aliens this entire time? Not surprised but...what happened to the first crew? And why do they keep sending teams up that don't come back? What are they testing? Or rather, what deal did they make with the aliens? Are they studying the aliens, or are the aliens studying them? Is Cutter an alien too?

Well I guess that's all dear readers. Find out next time.

Once again, very much disliking Cutter, but now I'm also wondering how long Rachel has been around. And who Richard and Pryce are. And when Cutter changed his name and why. Interesting that Richard, Pryce, and Rachel didn't have mini episodes. At least, not yet...

#bods wolf359 reactions #w359 #wolf 359 #alexander hilbert #renee minkowski #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359 #isabel lovelace #alana maxwell #daniel jacobi #warren kepler #Rachel Young #william carter #wolf 359 spoilers #wolf359 #Wolf 359 spoilers #Wolf 359 reaction

11 notes · View notes

discyours · 7 months

Note

Hello. I came across your blog while looking for someone who had an experience similar to mine (ex-radfem). I'm sorry if I'm bothering you by asking this, you don't have to answer if it's hard for you to talk about it, but could you please tell me how you... idk, took your mind off all of that, how you're coping now, how to accept that things aren't going to change, I guess. I got into radfem community after a misogyny related trauma, but recently decided to quit it because I can't handle knowing all of this (being mentally ill and tending to over-analyze everything on top of that). I wasn't even participating in activism much, just reading, analyzing, "connecting the dots" so to speak, and it didn't last too long, but it took a huge toll on my mental health (a really huge one). I'd be extremely grateful if you could give me some advice. Don't mind any occasional mistakes, english isn't my first language. Again, I'm sorry to bother you like that, I just really need some help from someone who was in a situation similar to mine

Don't apologize! I explicitly say that my inbox is always open, if something is too "heavy" for me to answer I can just leave it. This may sound harsh but you can take solace in the fact that, for lack of a better term, complacency is the default. We are actively pushed towards an inability to realize the full extent of misogyny, and we are actively pushed not to care all that much about the parts we do see. There's a reason why "turns out my conservative mom was a bra burning feminist in the '70s" is A Thing. The status quo usually gets to you pretty quick once you stop rejecting it.

Now, in my opinion, if you do step away from radical feminism (and there is no shame in this. If we can recognise that there are stages of mental health where eating regular meals and keeping yourself clean is too high of a bar to reach, surely "be painfully aware of all misogyny at all times" can't always be an achievable goal for every woman) it's still worth staying conscious enough that you don't swing all the way to the other side. The radfem to tradfem pipeline is a thing, but it doesn't need to be. Don't let the perfect get in the way of the good. Having some passive awareness of men's misogyny can go a massive way towards keeping yourself (and other women) safe. But if your question is how you can stop feeling like we're living in a dystopian woman-hating hellscape every time you see a woman wearing a full face of makeup... the answer is that you don't need to do anything. It'll go away on its own (and you're gonna be okay).

#anon #ex radfem

8 notes · View notes

musashi · 1 month

Note

Yet another anon who just sorta stumbled on your other asks. Hope this isn't weird/too much, I just have followed you for a while and have enjoyed some of your writing!

Fwiw, my output is WAAAAY less than 2k, and I'm not gonna feel bad about it either lol. Some of the most incredible fanfic authors I know show up once every year to drop a short masterpiece with no explanation or apology.

In On Writing, Stephen King says his standby is 1,000 words a day. Plenty of well-known writers do less, or barely write most days then write in huge bursts.

Im not gonna comment on your friends in discord, and don't know your group's dynamics, but if it'd been me it would have been a weapons-grade eyeroll moment if someone said that to me. Pretentiously Artsy is a disease which can affect even the best of us.

It depends on your goals and what you want, but compared to a lot of people, you're already quite productive. You are 2x more productive than Stephen fucking King. Also makes me sad that you pigeonhole yourself as "the lazy one" without it even seeming lighthearted :(

again, I won't claim to understand your group dynamics, but it just makes me sad because that's not how I--a stranger on the internet, ik--see you at all. To me, you seem insightful and creative and blunt--but reasonable.

Also think it's weird for a friend group to have a friend whose big "thing" is being lazy...my friends and I shit on each other but that just sounds like no fun.

Sorry for the long ask; this just struck a chord for personal reasons.

I don't entirely know how to respond to this. I just listen to what people tell me. Unless they seem like they are trying to be cruel or unkind, which is rare--most people are kind.

I appreciate you telling me I am hardworking but you are basically the first. And the only one who has ever really tried to provide anything resembling evidence. Even if I do write a bit, I still just come home at the end of every day and sit there for four hours doing nothing. I barely even think my thoughts, I just sit there turning to slime.

The people I talk to in discord are just kinda casually friends. I don't have any close friends except my girlfriend. I haven't had any close friends in years, no matter how hard I try I can't make or keep any.

I would never say something negative about myself lightheartedly. My negative traits are things I am always striving to fix. That is why being so uselessly lazy upsets me so much, because I like other less than favourable things about my personality, I cannot fix it no matter how hard I try.

My friends have nothing of the sort. I am talking about my life. Birth to now. When you exist, people occasionally describe you, and you get to hear it. Not once has anyone throughout my life ever called me hardworking. Many people have called me lazy, demotivated, etc etc.

I'm sorry I upset you, but this is my personal blog where I talk about my feelings. No one is making you look at it.

5 notes · View notes

rainswept · 2 months

Note

Hiii I noticed u have great taste in fics.. so i’m gonna ask if you can recommend a few hsr & genshin fanfic writers?? Pls & ty 🙏🏼

oh man,, this is such a great question. i’m touched you decided to come to me!! i’ll go ahead and list some writers and the fics that came to mind first (most of them are angsty, i apologize, but those are what usually stick w/ me 😭😭)

dulcesiabits — my all time favorite fic in general is still your shadow under the illusory moon + part two. also dissection of a liar, which i read and went hunting for again because i forgot it was a fanfic and mistakenly remembered it as part of his canon character stories. i was Really Confused. i looked through the wiki and game for a really long time. anyway, dulcesiabits herself also has a bunch of fics for other fandoms (including hsr) + other genshin characters, and everything i’ve read from her has been absolutely heart-wrenching and world view altering (positive)

perpetualcynicsm — The Writer Ever for everyone who likes long fics and wants to get invested (their current wip is over 130k words). their work is absolutely amazing and clearly has so so much effort and passion put into it. i’m not even that big of a fan of xiao but they got me to read about him anyway. i still haven’t gotten to to dance amidst a sea of flowers but i WILL. terribly underrated as a whole

thenyxsky — not sure what else to say except for when reading awaken i died just like heizou did. it had me on the edge of my seat and then left me feeling like a part of me was left in the page. it was so so good and AGAIN incredibly underrated

ruershrimo — one of my favorites was hair, which remains one of my favorite lyney drabbles in general to this day,, such good characterization and so poetic. super super underrated for the third time and also a really sweet person in general

noraszoo — ohhh my god i found their blog through one of my mutuals recently. their writing is so sweet and descriptive and their dialogue!! particularly loved keep my blankets warm and my name in your mouth

m1d-45 — i’m not the biggest fan of sagau usually, but their work introduced me to a flavor of it i actually liked and changed my mind. my favorites i can remember reading were wandering and (what about me?)

aeroblossom — their writing and theories and the little things they notice in the game are all so good. a symptom of something wrong and a curse-bearer in particular. so vivid and compelling, really feels like you’re there, watching someone go through everything in real time or even going through it yourself. once again, so awfully underrated. criminally, even, for how much of an emotionally reaction these gave me. god

thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch — i love her dialogue and the way she breathes life into scenes and characters that are typically overlooked or gotten awfully wrong. i loovveddd changsheng’s favorite, and tolerance.. oh man. one of the only fics i’ve ever read where blade actually feels and acts like blade.

i have plenty more, especially including my mutuals, but i didn’t want this to get too long so i just put in the ones that i vividly remember left me with a gaping hole in my chest where my heart had previously been (positive). the ones that gave me a visceral reaction and changed the way i see the world (also positive). i’m sure there were more that also did that to me but it is 4 am and i want to post this now 😭😭 if you do want an exhaustive list all the writers i could recommend, feel free to send another ask! i could talk ab them all day and all night so please don’t be afraid, i’m sure i’ll have more to recommend every week

#love this ask

3 notes · View notes

substituted-shinigami · 11 months

Text

“Quick” Blog/Writing/Art Update: May/June 2023

Hello everyone! Thank you for your patience! Sorry, it’s been awhile, but I do hope to be back soon! I’ve had a good long rest from the stresses of social media (I wish I could also say life as well, but I’ve learned it does what it wants!), and I hope to be at least semi active again by the time Bleach is back in early July! Thanks again for your patience! 🥰

Now unfortunately when I say semi-active, I really do mean semi-active. I won’t go into detail about my real life stuff, but it causes me enough stress that I’ve realized I can’t deal with it and social media stress at the same time. So I probably won’t be on here as often, and will be posting even less, but I want you all to know that I still love all y’alls stuff and will look at it when I can! I took a peek just recently to try and get back into the groove (the app has really changed in the last few months, huh?) and saw you all were talking about Soul Society Trains awhile back, and I’m so sorry I missed it because OMIGOSH DO I WANT IT TO BE CANON! Like can you imagine if Squad 12 designed one?! It would be a horror show, with a bunch of little feet and eyes and horns and UGH! Or maybe, due to how Soul Society is layed out, it’s a subway instead! Maybe it's an immortal mole creature that travels underground on some well known migratory route, and if you’re knowledgeable and crazy enough, you can just grab its fur and hold on tight to get where you need to go faster! Where was I going with this? Oh, right! You all are great, and I hope to read more of your ideas, and headcanons, and other stuff whenever I’m able!

What else…oh yes, posting content. So you know how I was talking about social media stress? Yeah, posting causes a lot of that. Creating though, causes less of that though, sometimes even decreases it. Like I literally sleep better if I write fanfiction before bed (sad, I know, but hear me out). So what’s the solution? Well, I could just never post, but I like sharing with others too! So what I’ve decided to do instead is post in seasons kind of like a tv show! I’ll work on fanfiction/fanart throughout the year, and then once October hits, I’ll post whatever I finish on a sort of schedule, like every Saturday or something. That way, I won’t feel stressed to get something out every month and I can work on multiple stories at the same time (which is my preferred way to write)! That said, since I won’t be online as much, I may be pretty slow in answering messages/questions/comments/etc, so I want to apologize in advance. Know that I still love and appreciate all of you, and will get back when I can!

Hmmm…Any last details? Oh yes, fanart and Bloodlines. I’m gonna be honest, y’all, fanart has been slow coming. I wanted to do more fan comics, but I haven’t had a lot of inspiration or motivation lately. I unfortunately might have to save that idea for next year, but if I do, I do have a back up plan that I think you all will like, so hopefully that works out. But for now, we’ll just have to wait and see!

Bloodlines…will be out…this year…or so help me, I’ll- *cough* Anyway, work on it has been going steadily, which should make me happy, but for some reason has got me extremely nervous. Like, is it going steadily because it’s close to finishing? Or is it going steadily because I missed a major flaw? Like will I be about to post it and realize I need to REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING! These thoughts plague me. Current improvements! I’ve learned what chapter hooks are and have implemented them to make the beginnings more interesting! Also, while I think Bloodlines is still a good “series” title, it is no longer a good title for the piece. The new working title is “Learning to Breathe”. I think that better encapsulates the story I’m trying to tell! Current worries! Is the climax “climaxy” enough? Does the build up pay off in the end? Do the dramatic moments make sense? DO I NEED TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING???

Anyway, I think that is finally, actually it! If you made it to the end, that’s pretty amazing of you! One day, I’ll learn to summarize my thoughts better, but today is not that day! See you all in July when Bleach comes back! I’m so hyped!

#blog update #writing update #art update #june 2023

4 notes · View notes

hacked-by-jake · 2 years

Note

Hey

I'm the anon who sent the previous ask about talking about me and my best friend, i just wanted to reveal myself for once because I've always followed you and sent asks as an anon

So here i am , I'm not gonna hide as an anon and I'm gonna publicly say I've read every word you wrote to reply to what i said, and i accept every hug and every word, sending hugs to you as well <3

I agree with what you said , and i KNOW i couldn't have changed anything but it's always that small part of you to feel gulity for what happened, because we were so close and because they told me i was the only person who trule cared about them, It get a little better every day, even tho it will always be hard because i went through everything alone for the past 3 years

And yes all the weird and funny stuff always and i mean ALWAYS make me feel better XD , So , once again, I'm gonna thank you and everyone who always makes me laugh and bring joy to my day, And for YOU personally, I'm gonna say

Thank you for being in my life hbj , ily <3

- sincerely, your lovely fella Avalian

Hey, again, dear Avalian! :D

First of all, I’m really sorry you had to go through all this alone. Unfortunately, in one of 'my cases' I also had to, and still do, so I can imagine a little bit how you feel. But I have to say again that I find it really admirable that you talk about it. Personally, although I do not want to it, I still have some reserve on this topic. Although I think we finally have to talk openly about it.

That’s why I also thank you because I got a bit more courage to talk about it through you. And I’m not just saying that, I’m serious, and I thank you very much for that.

And yes, the issue of guilt is simply complicated, we people often try to find the fault with us, even if it is simply not our fault. It’s difficult to deal with it but I think the only thing that really helps is to keep telling yourself that we couldn’t have changed anything. And unfortunately it will always be difficult to live with it but at some point, the point comes where we can perhaps understand it to a certain extent. The why, and then it feels at least a bit like a relief, at least that’s how it was with me. And I hope for you that you also find a little lightness, which of course does not mean to forget it or anything else.

I also saw that you wrote to me privately, and for that I want to thank you incredibly. And at the same time I apologize. I’m unfortunately incredibly bad in social conversations etc. It is unfortunately sometimes very exhausting for me and I do not manage to answer, and then unfortunately everything always goes under. I promise that I will also answer you there, as I am currently trying to catch up a lot, as you can see.

And it’s really interesting to know that sometimes you sent asks as anon. If you continue to do this as Anon, you may want to give yourself a name, only if you feel comfortable doing it. But it’s nice to know if it’s one of those asks, but as I said, only if you want to. :))

And now of course I want to thank you again for your time, and above all your trust and your beautiful words. I think for people who have been on my blog for a long time, already know a little about it, but I myself unfortunately have one or the other difficulties with my mental health and your words help me so incredibly much and give me so much strength and hope. It’s just incredibly nice to know that I can give you a little joy with what I’m doing here. It’s really the most beautiful thing in the world for me, I don’t have so many things in life, tumblr is one of the only ones. And the fact that I manage to make others happy helps me a lot. So I thank you so much for taking the time to tell me these things so openly. I have one of my very emotional days today and I have to admit that one or two tears of happiness run down my cheeks. I thank you so much and I really appreciate it! 🥺❤️

Thank you also for being here and sending asks and writing me! So much love to you! And endless hugs. You deserve all the best in the world, you’re wonderful! ❤️❤️

#luvpiie #hbj answers #personal #<3<3<3<3<3<3

6 notes · View notes

shalanos · 2 years

Text

Im sitting here thinking about when i was a kid there was a person i was friends with from about 7th grade to 11th grade that i have no idea now as an adult why i was friends with her because of some of the shit she did and said to me and im like am a fucking victim ???

TW i guess?? Because im gonna list some of thr things that happened? Im sure there is more im blocking from my memory?

she would tell me not to dress how i wanted because "people would stare at me"

she'd tell me she wouldn't let me do a full face of makeup because thats too much makeup

she would get annoyed if i talked about things i liked.

she tried to get me to choose between her and my other friends

Once i had a crush and held their hand and she told my mom

she asked me on multiple occasions "why are we even friends?"

she did not respect boundaries and when i told her not to do something to me she'd keep doing.

she would purposely annoy me to the point of tears and me telling her to stop

sometimes she would hit me because she thought it was funny?

she'd always try to hold my hand and id tell her no shed grab it anyways?

she'd buy me things all the time to try to keep me as a friend

when id have a sleep over with her she would try to make me share a bed with her

when i came out to her she told me "okay and why are you telling me?"

Oh and she told her homophobic dad i was gay and then on multiple occasions he called me slurs because of it

when i tried to cut off out friendship she tried to stop me by telling me she was in love with me. I did it anyways.

I was informed she proceeded to stalk me online after

Fast forward a few years later when im 19, my grandfather died and she tried to use my vulnerability to come back into my life and wanted me to apologize for cutting off our frienship. I said no.

she then some how proceeded to find my nsfw blog i had that i kept a secret where i once posted a singular photo of myself (with no face), and sent it to my mom and dad and a few of my friends as revenge for not wanted to be her friend again.

#abuse ?#emotional abuse maybe ?#tw

3 notes · View notes

cigarettesandcloudydays · 4 months

Text

okay i have only a follower in this blog so sorry if you read this but I need to write down my thoughts, my English is not good so I'm gonna start with apologizing for this now, and off course I apologize for what you're gonna read, if you'll read it.

I need to get obsessed with a silly show again. The things that I'm watching now have complicated characters that I can see myself in or that I could feel bad for. My brother will leave soon so I'll be home alone with my abusive father around to make me feel bad about myself. I don't have close friends because I keep distance from the only one I care about right now, then there's the one that I grow up with that broke my trust and the distance friend that only call me for their need and that I avoid talking to them for this reason. My mom lives far from here and is where my brother's going, she left to find a job and a better life for the three of us. Yeah, she's great if you don't know that has mother issues, and is also responsible for my traumas as much as my father. And left because she couldnt take it anymore. Also I'm like a best friend and a mother for her as well as I've been parenting my brother for years.

I'm tired and I'm lonely.

This morning I've cried because I remembered how many pills my father take that are not at all necessary for his health since he just has anxiety and take pills for schizophrenia and Alzheimer.

I've never done something important for myself, just bad choices.

I left school and now I can't even keep the house clean.

I think I'm depressed again but I can't tell my brother cause he won't believe me. I haven't slept in my bed for days and I don't care about the way I look at all.

Other family members just bother me about my mom or my brother and if I try to talk about my father they say that nobody is perfect, and tell what is wrong with other fathers.

But the people they talk to me about never hit their kids without a reason, never threat them to throw them off the balcony and never used psychological violence. The fathers they talk about have never been a reason for their kids to self-arm.

The only reason to be alive is to provide food and care for my brother but he will leave soon and I will be alone with my thoughts.

I won't be able to reach him for a while. Just phone calls and texts.

Once again someone I love will start a new life and I'm left here just because I tell them and myself that I can wait (because my life isn't important to me so why would they care)

I don't have a job or the intention to work because I know I won't be back studying, and without studying there is no future.

I am also stubborn and convinced of the things I know (and are a few)

Also the economical situation isn't the best.

I want to see a therapist once I can afford it with my money and see what the fuck is wrong with me and if I can fix it somehow.

I can't smoke regularly because I'm sick rn so the only thing that I can do is eat like a fucking pig, and off course this doesn't help since I've always been fat and society standards tells you that you're ugly and also you feel ugly.

Everyone says that the 20s are the best years but everyday there's a new bullshit to take care of. I've been responsible for others my hole life and I don't want to anymore, not even for myself.

The only way I see my self in 10-20 years is a fat sad delusional woman that doesn't work and depends on her family, which is also the description of a woman that lives here.

I just want to rest and stay away from every kind of responsibility. I want all my grief to leave me, and I'm not talking about the grief I feel for the people that died, I'm talking about the grief I feel when I look at the mirror, for every time I ruined things up, for every chance that I lost, for the things I decided not to do and for the ones that I did and ruined me.

Right now I'm thinking about my brother, and when he will be with my mom. I hope they will never fight. They have similar characters and it happened sometimes that they ended up screaming and hitting each other or throwing things up. I was there.

But my brother says he's changed, he doesn't do that stuff anymore. But my mother still reacts the wrong way when things go off, it's complicated I don't want to explain.

The only family member, not counting my mother and brother, that cared for me and loved my was my grandfather, my father's mother. He loved me and I love him so much. We had a special relationship and I miss him dearly.

In August it will be 8 years that he's gone forever. I will never have someone like him in my life and that's fucked up. I still cry for him but that's okay, means I still have lot of love for him that I can't show him.

I live my life thinking he would still love me and forgive me otherwise I think I'll loose my mind completely.

What also is fucked up is that I miss the father I never had and the mother I wish my mother was.

That off course leads to mother and father issues which means that i will always try to find someone to love me that will be probably older than me.

Also I'm not sure of my sexuality and who am I attracted to but that's a minor issue right now.

Being a parent is a very hard job and it drives me crazy that people don't think enough about it. It's not that easy, just because you got pregnant or you got someone pregnant doesn't mean you're going to be a good parent.

I wish my mom would have understood that she still had chances even if she decided to take a different path rather than the one she took.

I wish I knew less about her, being friends with a parent can be exhausting and wrong and weird.

I wish I'll end up in hospital once my brother's gone and wake up with amnesia. At least I won't know all the things I know now. But I know it's an awful thing to wish for, and also searching for conditions probably means that you have one.

I'm just tired I wish I could start my life somewhere else and be free and happy.

But I know it will never happen cause traumas will always be with me and I don't think I'll ever let someone close enough to touch me, so falling in love and living with the one you love is already off the list, same for having kids.

That's how I will break the cycle.

Everybody tells me that I say it just because I'm young and that I will change my mind but I wouldn't have a peaceful day knowing that I have to take care of someone for the rest of my life trying to do the right things, try not to traumatize them but also trying not to be too good cause life fucks you anyways sooner or later.

In the best of the scenarios I have nice dresses, a place to live, a job, a completed education, no more insomnia and someone to wake up next to in the morning.

Someone that knows me and loves me for who I am and that I obviously love the same way.

In another country perhaps.

Going back to the small town I grew up in just for the summer maybe and maybe sometimes for festivities.

And perhaps one day I'll look in their eyes and feel save and loved enough to think that If I have to, only they could be the parent to our kids.

I just dream of a good life and love like everyone, but this fantasy seems to far from me right maybe I am already too much disconnected from reality.

But right now I see only clouds and dark. It feels like it's always late afternoon and the sky will be darker soon, and the world will be asleep, while I, once again wonder when I will stop wasting my life on this very comfortable couch.

The same couch that has the shape of my father's body.

0 notes

gingernut1314 · 8 months

Note

heyyy can u write something where a female reader is doing chores on the Merry and she’s singing and Buggy (as a head) is with her and hears and is immediately like JOIN MY CREW because she’s amazing and there’s some flirting <33 thanks!

Songbird

Buggy x F!Reader

Summary: Buggy has taken up calling you songbird after catching you singing to yourself to pass the time. A nickname you want to hate but can't help but secretly like. A nickname that only adds to your secret growing liking of the psychotic clown.

Tags: Angst, Flufffffff, Flirting and some spicy suggestive talk (eventual spicy next part)

Word Count: 4.9K

A/N: Thank you for the request! I'm not sure if this is what you had in mind but this is what my mind decided to write down. If for any reason you would like there to be some spice at the end...just let me know, I'll hook you up 😂 I wasn't sure if you wanted this to have any or not so I just didn't add it. Anywaaays, I hope you enjoy and thank you again for the request!!

↞ to Songbird Masterlist | Buggy the Clown Masterlist | One Piece Masterlist | Request Rules | Blog Navigation ↠

“Fuck, you have an amazing mouth.” The detached head of the pirate clown you were babysitting said from where you had left him to sit on the kitchen table in a hushed sort of tone. A hushed tone you did not fail to hear. You paused your sweeping of the floor, paused your absent-minded singing of some random tune you had created, to turn and glare daggers the clown's way.

“What did you just say?” You said in a warning.

“I said fuck, you have an amazing singing voice.” He said with that annoying shit-eating grin on his red-painted lips. You continued to stare down at him, about done with his bullshit. Especially since you had been the nicest babysitter he’d ever had.

Everyone else on the Going Merry since stealing the satchel bag containing Buggy’s head had kept him in that bag. The same bag that had been dragged through the cold water of the East Blue. The same bag still full of sand and dirt and bits of food that had found its way into it during the fight back at the Baratie. The same dirty bag no one had bothered to wash and Buggy was stuck in it 99% of the time.

And you let him out of it that last 1%. Let him breathe real air and see the sky and the sea. Let him talk your ear off even when it got on your nerves.

And you did all that just for him to what? Cat-call you? It was almost a joke.

You blinked at him once, twice…

“I’m getting Zoro.” You said, propping your broom up the kitchen island.

“Wait, wait, wait! Not that shithead! He nearly dropped me in the ocean!” You ignored him and started for the exit. “Wait--hold on, songbird. Just--look I’m sorry.” He grit out like it physically hurt him to say such a thing. To even think about apologizing for something you might have done wrong.

It almost didn’t work for you. You were strong and independent. You didn’t just bend to silly little apologizes crude men shot your way…but then you thought of that bag he was stuck riding around in. Thought of the way you would feel stuck in a prison like that, not able to know exactly where your body was or what was happening to it--to have no control over your life.

You did know what it felt like to have no control over your life. To be stuck in a cold, unforgiving cage with no source of comfort or hope to be seen. And you hadn’t suffered that long in that much hate and cruelty to deal it onto another living soul. Because, despite the horrible things he had done, he was a living breathing human being.

And hell, you were no saint. You had done horrible things in your past as well. Things that still haunted your dreams and followed you into the waking world.

“You’re what?” You said, looking over your shoulder at Buggy who was rolling his eyes.

“I’m not saying it again.” You shrugged.

“I’m not the one Zoro’s gonna beat the shit out of.” Buggy gave an overly dramatic, exasperated huffing noise.

“Fine. I’m sorry.” You cupped your ear in your hand, mockingly trying to hear him better.

“Danm it. I didn’t catch that.” You said with a ‘tsk’.

“I’m sorry!” He all but shouted, that frustration high and very clear on his face. A frustration that had satisfaction rising in your chest. “There? You happy?” You nodded, a smirk pulling to the corner of your mouth.

“One more time might be even better, but I’ll let you off the hook.” Buggy huffed, watching as you went back to sweeping the floor.

“I’m sorry.” He said again softly. So soft you nearly didn’t hear him. His words shocked you so much you nearly froze in your spot. It was sincere that time. Not full of his usual sass and drama. Sass and drama you refused to acknowledge you actually enjoyed.

You knelt down, sweeping the pile of dirt into the dustpan you had grabbed from where you had left it on the island stool.

“Thank you.” You said in an even tone. One you hardly let show just how shocked you were at him. You stood, throwing the dirt away in the waste bin before going about wiping down every surface of the kitchen that had been remotely used that day.

“You know…I could use a songbird on my crew.” You kept wiping away, refusing to look the clown's way.

“Really?” You questioned, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

“Really. I’ve never had a singer before--we could have special showcases. Buggy’s Singing Songbird!...nah. That’s no good.” He said like he was truly thinking about what the title of your act would be.

“Buggy’s Magnificent Songbird?” You offered, not truly thinking about what you were doing as you wiped down the stovetop. That funky laugh of his spilled from his red smudged lips. A funky little laugh that you very much liked because it was so unique. So out of the blue and so fitting.

“Buggy’s Spectacular Songbird.” You shot him a look to find his green-blue eyes were watching you full of excitement, that wide grin on his face once more.

“Buggy’s Stupendous Songbird.” You said it almost as a challenge.

“Extraordinary Songbird.” The pirate clown said, taking your challenge in an instant.

“Astonishing Songbird.” You said, moving on to wiping down the table Buggy sat on.

“Confounding.”

“Dazzling.” Buggy watched you as you scooped any leftover crumbles from the night's dinner into your hand, that smirk never leaving his lips. Lips you had to look away from before you started down a line of thinking you had been annoyingly keeping at bay ever since meeting the damn clown.

“Breathtaking Songbird.” Damn, and those lips looked so good moving the way they were. Lips you wondered would fit nicely against yours?

“Trying to get on my good side so you don’t have to go back into that bag?” You questioned, dumping the crumbs into the waste bin before tossing your rag into the sink, knowing you would wash it later.

“How’d you guess, songbird?” Buggy said after a longer-than-usual pause. You glanced his way as you opened the fridge, finding those green-blue eyes still watching you. Eyes that held no malice in them…eyes you nearly drowned in every time you looked into them for too long like you’d eaten some Devil Fruit.

On a clearing of your throat, you pulled the night’s leftovers out, grabbed a fork, and sat down at the table next to Buggy’s head.

“What did Blondy cook up this time?” Buggy grumbly asked as you opened the container of chilled food.

“I can’t remember. Some sort of noodle dish.” You said with a shrug, twirling some of the sauce-covered noodles onto the fork. “Sorry it's cold again, I don’t know how to work anything in here.” You mumbled, offering the cold noodles to Buggy who took it eagerly. You watched him chew as you twirled some more noodles onto his fork. “Any good?”

“Too fancy.” He said between a chew. You gave a huff in amusement, propping your elbow up on the table so you could rest your head in your hand.

You let your eyes roam over his features. Over clown-like make-up that was nearly rubbed completely off. Over his lips, which the bottom was just the tiniest bit fuller. Over those green-blue eyes you could get lost in for hours. Eyes lined by perfect lashes you silently envied every time you looked at them--or maybe you just envied them because it made him that much more attractive? Made it that much more hard to look away from him.

“Yeah…Sanji’s meant for bigger and better things than feeding a group of half-assed pirates.” You said once you had to all but physically remind yourself to. He gave a chuckle of his own after he swallowed.

“Why are you even following around that stretchy kid anyway? To be his maid?” You sat quietly as you fed him again, watching his stubble-covered jaw move as he chewed in a greedy sort of way you typically didn’t allow yourself to do.

You wondered if it would feel as sharp as it looked. Wondered if it was strong enough to leave a nice bruise on your neck…if it could bring you tumbling over a bliss-filled edge?

“He freed me.” You said simply, twirling more noodles as you distracted yourself from his face. Buggy’s eyebrows furrowed in question.

“Freed?” He said, his mouth still full of food. You narrowed your eyes down at him in a dramatic sort of fashion.

“It’s barbaric to speak with your mouth full, you know.” Buggy rolled his eyes for seemingly the hundredth time that night. A hundredth time you sure was not the last.

“I’m a pirate, songbird. I’m as much a barbarian as they come.” You huffed in amusement again, giving him another fork full of noodles. “Freed?”

“Being Luffy’s maid, as you so kindly put it, is much better than being locked up in a dusty cave.” Buggy watched you as he chewed. Watched you with such intent--curiosity. To your ever-growing surprise, Buggy stayed quiet even after he had swallowed. A quiet that singled his willingness to listen to you.

Did you want to tell him? This man who was horrible and brutal and crude and everything you shouldn’t want to be around.

But he was…fun to be around. You had never felt trapped around him--alone.

And your backstory wasn’t something to really keep secret…it just hurt to think about.

“I used to run with another crew of pirates a long time ago before I came here. My ship was ransacked by other pirates who had been working for some king on this tiny island. He paid them to find him labor to work his gem mines. My crew was just one of the many who became that labor. I was the only one to survive.”

Your mind wandered darkly back to those caves. To the horrible conditions and horrendous work. To the deaths of your friends--family. “Luffy saved me. I have no problems mopping the floors or deranged clowns to pay him back.” You offered the fork full of noodles you had been twirling. He took it.

“So you're saying I have no chance of getting you on my crew.” He said once he had swallowed, pulling a small smile to your lips. Humor. He used humor to lighten heavy situations and you couldn’t be more grateful for that. Because if you couldn’t laugh at the hurts in your life, then those hurts would eat you alive.

“You’re special showcasing of Buggy’s Singing Songbird is going to have to wait.”

“I thought we landed on breathtaking?” You shrugged.

“Some might say that’s too cliché.”

“My show? Cliché? Never.” It was your turn to roll your eyes then.

“Do you want any more?” You asked, gesturing towards the leftovers. He shook his head, an act that was strange seeing as he was just a head.

“Water?” He questioned as you packed up everything, giving a nod of your own.

“Where does all that food go anyway?” When Buggy didn’t immediately answer, you looked over your shoulder to see he was looking at you like you were stupid or something.

“My stomach?” He said in an equally “you’re stupid” tone.

“A stomach that’s not attached to your head.” You said, unbothered, pulling the fridge door open and placing the remaining leftovers back. “Does it magically teleport to your body? Collect in the base of your neck?”

“At the base--I fucking hope not.” Buggy gruffed, making you chuckle. “It teleports I guess. I don’t know, it’s not like I can ask anyone about it.”

“There’s not like--a Devil Fruit guidebook they give you upon getting your powers?” Buggy gave a sharp laugh as you went about washing the fork and putting it away.

“Yeah, fuck no. It’s sink or swim,” He gave another little laugh, “literally.” You huffed in amusement, grabbing a glass and filling it with water.

“I’m done for the night, I fear.” You said, knowing that meant he needed to be handed off to whoever had night duty soon, meaning he would be spending yet another night in that gross bag. Definitely spending the night in that bag since it was Zoro’s turn to take him.

When Buggy didn’t respond right away, you looked back at him and you’re heart paused for a moment. He was winching. Like he was getting hurt by some invisible assailant.

You’d caught him wincing and flinching like that before but hadn’t said a word about it. You knew he would just get defensive and close you off. Knew because he was a big, strong, fearsome pirate. Someone who would never just--open up like that.

But now…now as you watched him grit his teeth to try to bite back sound, you knew you needed to ask. Because you hated watching him like that. Hated it because you--deep, deep down, like the clown.

“Why do you keep doing that?” He snapped those green-blue eyes over to you, eyebrows narrow.

“I’m not doing anything.” He tried to hiss, but that last word was distorted from a pained sort of sound. A sound accompanied by another wince.

“Are you in pain?” You pressed, making your way to stand before him.

“Just put me back in the bag.” He bit, those walls you knew most pirates held, beginning to build up even higher. You stared down at him for a long moment.

You didn’t want him to close up on you. You hadn’t closed up on him.

“You think it was easy telling you about my shit? Just tell me what’s wrong.” You snapped, placing the water down next to his head with a clunk.

Buggy was quiet for a long moment, flinching and wincing as he thought about whether or not he would tell you.

“You can’t do anything about it. Not until we get to that fucking, walking-fish-infested island.” It clicked then. He could still feel his body. Could still feel what happened to it.

“They're hurting you?”

“Someone’s taken up using me as their pers--” He winced again, “--onal punching bag.” A cold anger flooded your chest. An anger you had already harbored for Arlong and his crew of fish-men for taking Nami away from you guys, but an anger that was only flamed to new heights by this new bit of information.

Because they were hurting him despite already having taken his body away. Using him as their entertainment.

It had you remembering back to that cave again. To how your ex-captors had done the same thing. It was not something anyone should go through.

You knew then that when you got to that island, those ruthless fish-men would become your own personal punching bag.

Buggy winched again, everting his eyes from you once more.

“You gonna put me away so I can suffer in peace already?” He gruffed out. You sat back down, green-blue eyes glancing your way. “What?” He snapped.

“What can I do? To help keep your mind off it?” You asked, gaining Buggy’s full, stunning gaze once more.

“Would…” He paused.

“Ask me. It’s okay.” Buggy gave a short huff.

“Would you…mind singing for me?” He asked, nerves very much clear in his voice. You blinked once, twice…

“Anything in particular?” Buggy looked almost surprised you were agreeing to his request, but you wanted to help him in some way. And you loved to sing, so singing for him--who had been an avid supporter of your voice since you met him--wouldn’t be hard at all.

“You hum a tune a lot…is there any lyrics?” You nodded.

“Yeah…it was my mother's favorite to sing to me before bed. Talks about two lovers who could never be together because one belongs to the night sea and the other belongs to the morning air.” Warmth filled your heart when you remembered those nights. Nights of being gently rocked by your mother as she held you tight, her soft voice lulling you to sleep.

“Can I hear it?” A toothless smile forms on your lips.

“Of course.” You crossed your arms, probing them up on the table so you could get comfortable. So that you could lean in closer to Buggy--to be able to see every tiny detail on his face.

And as you began to sing, you kept your voice soft--gentle, so that he might be the only one to hear you. As if you were whispering sweet nothings in your own lover's ear. And you watched as he watched you, his flinching still present but seeming to lessened by your distraction.

The distraction that was your song, your eyes, your lips. He watched every single part of your face like it was some treasure and it had your body heating in a way you hadn’t felt towards someone in a while.

When your song came to an end you both continued to watch the other. Continued to feel that heat that made you want to take his detached head and crash your lips onto his.

You tried to remind yourself he was a bad guy. That he had literally tortured your friends…but you all were pirates. Pirates, most if not all the time, were ruthless and cruel. You had been ruthless and cruel before joining Luffy--still was, though you buried deep down. It was a part of the life and it didn’t stop you from wanting to kiss this stupid clown.

“That was beautiful…shame I can’t show it to the world.” He said on a whisper. A whisper that only had you nearly absent-mindedly messing with the bits of his hair at the back of his neck that had come out of his bandana. A whisper that had you blushing like some teenager.

“What a shame.” You whispered back, watching his lips pull into the slightest smirk. Just as you were about to act on your thoughts, Buggy’s eyes winced once more. A wince that had your thoughts and intentions of kissing him dwindle away and turned to concern.

“I think someone’s playing darts now.” He said with a pained chuckle. “Gotta give them some credit, switching it up. I was getting bored.” You shook your head, readjusting his bandana. An action that had his eyes widening the slightest bit.

“If you can get bored of torture.” You said with a huff before picking him up.

“Back to the bag now, huh?”

“No.” You said without so much as a thought. “Zoro’s just going to throw you on the ground. You’ll stay in my room…just for tonight.” You said, so that he wouldn’t get too comfortable with the idea of staying with you even though you already knew you’d probably be carrying him back to your room most nights.

“I’m thinking you're trying to get on my good side now, songbird.” You rolled your eyes.

“Good side of what?”

“My wrath.” You shot him an unimpressed look that had him almost shrugging--if a head could shrug. “Thought I’d give it a shot at least.”

You quickly popped your head into Zoro’s room, who was eagerly climbing into his hammock-like bed. You telling him you were keeping Buggy’s head that night only roused suspicions from the green-haired man, but you were quick to cover it by saying he had had the clown for the longest that day and you wanted him to be able to get his beauty sleep. He’d hardly complained after that and you continued on your way to your room.

It was a smaller room, but compared to the living conditions you had been in for years before this ship, it was perfect. And it wasn’t like you were the only one to have a small room, Zoro’s and Usopp’s were no better. So it wasn’t something you thought of often.

You carefully climbed into your hammock-like bed so that you wouldn’t fall right out of it if it swung too violently, before placing Buggy on your chest. Seeing as there was nowhere else for him to really lay, this was the best and least awkward place for him to be.

“As soon as you make this weird, I’m throwing you on the ground.” He gave you a little suggestive wink.

“No promi--” You started to grab for him again. “AH--okay, yeesh…you’re boobs are very comfortable by the way.”

“You can’t help it, can you?” You said, in mock disbelief.

“Just telling it as it is, songbird.” That cheeky grin plastered on his lips. You rolled your eyes in a dramatic fashion you had seen him do more times than you could count.

“You better not snore.” You murmured, laying your head back and getting as comfy as you could while holding Buggy against you.

“You’ve heard me snore. You’ve whacked with a pillow for it.” You smirked as you remembered the last time it was your turn to watch him at night.

He was a loud sleeper.

“Go to sleep.” You said, closing your eyes. The clown gave a deep huff of air that tickled the little bit of exposed skin on your chest before falling silent. A silence you found you couldn’t fall asleep in. Not when you had Buggy laying on you like this. Not when his breath was making your skin prickle with goosebumps. “Buggy?”

“Yes?” He mumbled.

“Did you mean what you said or were you joking around?”

“I say a lot of things, songbird. You’re gonna have to be more specific.” You huffed, opening your eyes to find he actually had his closed. He looked peaceful like this. Like he didn’t have a worry in the world. But you supposed most people looked at peace when getting to sleep.

“About joining your crew?”

“Not everything I say is a joke, ya know.” He said, opening his eyes to look up at you. You shrugged, pulling the blanket up just a tad bit higher so that it could cover Buggy’s neck. “I’m serious about the showcase. It would bring people from miles around just to watch you perform.” You rolled your eyes.

“You mean your victims?”

“I prefer to call them un-willing participants who are thankful to get seats at my show.” You huffed in amusement, closing your eyes again. Buggy got comfortable once more against your chest and the air fell quiet…and again you hated that quiet. Couldn’t find sleep in that quiet.

“Buggy?” He grumbled in something like annoyance.

“Yes?” You opened your eyes to look down at him again, finding he was looking up at you with narrowed eyes. It had almost had you laughing, finding it was very much enjoyable to get on his nerves.

“Did you mean it?” His eyebrows rose in question.

“Mean what?” He gruffed.

“That you thought my mouth was amazing?” A mischievous smirk pulled to his own lips.

“Songbird, your mouth is amazing. I think your mouth would be even more amazing around--” You muffled his voice by covering his mouth with your blanket.

“And you took it too far.” You said, though you kept your little smirk on your own face. That same train of thought had crossed your mind before…crossed it many, many times.

You pulled the blanket away from his lips and found his own grin was still on his lips. Lips you wanted to kiss so, so badly.

“...you have a pretty amazing mouth too--for a filthy, dirty old pirate.” His smirk fell into that of dramatic shock.

“Hey! I’ll take filthy and dirty but old? Honey, you wouldn’t know old if it slapped you in the face. I’m in the prime of my life.” You looked over his face in a slow manner so that you might get under his skin further.

“Mm-hmm. If you can call getting your ass kicked and then getting carried around in a satchel bag by a bunch of young adults who hardly know how to be pirates the “prime of your life”.” Buggy huffed, rolling his eyes once more.

“You're a pirate. That orange-haired chick is a pirate. You’ve got a literal pirate hunter on your crew--I was outnumbered.” He said trying to give an excuse for getting his ass beat.

“Sure you were. It’s not like you had a whole crew to back you up or anything.”

“You’re hilarious.” He deadpanned. A tiny chuckle left your lips as you patted his cheek.

“I’m only learning from the best.”

“You think I’m the best?” You shook your head, closing your eyes for the third time that night. “Are you actually going to sleep this time?” You shushed him, making a small chuckle leave his lips.

Silence filled the room again. A deafening silence. You wiggled in your hammock to try and get comfortable, but nothing was working. So, with a frustrated huff, you grabbed hold of Buggy’s head again and turned onto your side, his face only inches away from your own thanks to the curve of the hammock.

You tried to keep your eyes closed…to not acknowledge just how close you were to him, but your body had a mind of its own and you were looking into those green-blue eyes once more. “Sorry.” You said quickly.

“Fine.” He said just as quickly, his eyes looking away from yours only so he could glance at your lips. You couldn’t help but do the same things.

Silence again filled the air. A silence full of foggy tension.

“Uh--Buggy?” You asked after a moment.

“Yes?” He asked on a whisper that had your body buzzing.

“What are you going to do once you get your body back?” You asked, moving your hand to all but cup his jaw so that you weren’t choking him out.

“Oh, you know…try to get back to my ship I suppose.” You nodded. The thought that you wouldn’t be able to carry him around anymore was almost…disappointing. A feeling you were the most surprised to feel out of everything else you felt towards him.

You started to rub your thumb over his stubble-covered jaw, finding it was as sharp as it looked. It was an act that had Buggy’s eyes widening in shock and you paused. “Sorry--”

“No--uh…it’s nice. You can keep doing it--if you want.” You instantly did, loving the feel of his skin against yours.

You wondered if anyone touched him like this? If he had ever been touched in such a manner? It wouldn’t have surprised you if no one had.

You tried to close your eyes again--tried to get some sleep, but it was no use. Your mind was wandering down a dirty path and Buggy being this close wasn’t helping. “Buggy?”

“Songbird?” Fuck and that stupid little nickname he had given you. It was so stupid and so dumb and you couldn’t help but love hearing him say it so much. Especially in that gruffing, whispering tone he used.

You moved that much closer to him. So close his forehead touched yours. You opened your eyes to find his green-blue ones were already watching you.

“Do you think it's…” You bit your lip. You couldn’t ask that. He didn’t want you to ask that…

“Ask me.” He said, eyes looking between your own and your lips in a way that made you all that much more willing to risk it all and ask him.

“Do you think it's weird that I find your mouth so amazing that I would want to kiss it?” A throaty chuckle rang through your ears.

“Do you think it’s weird that I want to kiss that amazing mouth of yours back?” You tried not to show the excited nerves racing around your body as you shook your head.

“No, I don’t think it's that weird.” That goofy grin pulled to his lips.

“So we both have amazing mouths that want to kiss each other…oh, what to do, what to do?” You couldn’t help the laugh that cut through your lips, your smile cracking to the surface.

“Gods, you’re so stupid.” You teased before pulling his face against yours and claiming those red-painted lips of his. Lips that weren’t all that surprisingly soft, seeing as his painted lips had protected them from the sun and wind--probably kept them very moisturized.

You kissed him near feverishly, Buggy kissing you back at just the same rate. Buggy’s tongue licked at your top lip in a silent question of entrance and you gladly allowed it, tongues dancing a dangerous battle for dominance. Dominance Buggy surprisingly won, even without the help of his body.

It was all-consuming and burned at your body in a way that had you wishing for more. A wish you knew you wouldn’t get unless you sailed to that fish-men-infested island and took his body back right then. You both pulled away, catching your breath.

“When you get your body back,” You said on a pant. “We’ll find someplace away from the others…see where this goes?” Buggy watched your lips for a moment, that smirk right back on those soft, soft lips.

“Songbird, when I get my body it’s going to be a struggle to not drag you away with me.”

#buggy live action #buggy one piece #buggy smut #buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy x y/n #buggy x you #captian buggy #one piece live action #opla #request #buggy request #songbird #divider by saradika

1K notes · View notes

midnightmisadventures · 11 months

Text

Hi sorry I havent blogged in a minute ive been having the weirdest dreams....

So again apologies about not detailing out those other dreams. I guess I should start there....

When i went to my sisters over the weekend i had a dream where my friends and I were at this immersive show. Where everyone around us was having sex. I can’t really remember if it was like “oo self volunteer, go ahead and have an orgy” or they were performers who planned to have porn like sex for people.

Liam was there, and it was present day so we hadnt seen eachother or hung out for months. We were all sitting in the same row like a theater. Some of my friends were leaving in and out. So eventually Liam and i had ended up sitting closer together. And of course, we naturally started cracking jokes and making eachother laugh about the situation. It literally came so naturally i didnt even hve to think about it, we just started finishing eachothers sentences and laughing like we used too. And he was doing that remarkable thing where he surprises me by how funny and clever he is. Like the perfect unexpected humor and amazing comedic timing. I was laughing so hard sometimes i would like playfully hit him. It felt like old times so easily. To the point where once i hit him laughing, and thought “holy shit, should i be keeping better boundaries? i need to pull back, this is too fast” So i muted my excitement a little bit and made sure not to touch him again.

I think it widdled down to it being me him and bff, the og gang. And bff somberly said “im going to the bathroom” and rolled their eyes. But i didnt think much of it. So now it was liam and i alone. And at first it was awkward. There was one theater seat between us and after bff was gone for a while i kept thinking....do we fill the gap?

But we were talking, and giggling and talking about the show. And i felt safe, and secure. I was admiring him because i hadnt in so long. Ya know, really looking at him and was starting to fall in love all over again like “hes so pretty, he’s my good ol liam, hes perfect, i adore this boy” and i ws getting the vibes that he was feeling that back. That we were just warming up to eachother again.

So then, i think we closed the gap? And this music?? or funny song? started playing as apart of the show. And he started dancing in his seat and being cute, so i started dancing with him and we were just being the cutest and getting close and being into it. And ALL OF A SUDDEN, here comes bff sobbing and came to our row and was like “what the actual fuck you guys??” like SO pissed at us. And liam and i were both like huh? And they were like how long was i supposed to be waiting for you guys like, what is this now” and kinda walked away.

So im so confused and thinking we’re all gonna talk about this now. But Liam just got up and left, and then h$ came up to me and was like “okay at first i thought they were being dramatic, but after i talked to them crying in the bathroom even i was like ‘u guys are fucked up for this”

And im over here like FOR WHAT?? FUCKED UP FOR WHAT WE DIDNT DO ANYTHING.

So liams gone, i go to bff and am asking like “can you explain to me what your upset about?” and theyre like so pissed at me, rolling their eyes, being so cryptic.

Long story short, i genuinely felt bad for a while....or that i mightve been insensitive. But then i was like no fuck this, theres no specific reason ur upset u just dont want to see us together. And when you were bragging about Liam i was always supportive and blah blah double cross double cross.

All the while i was feeling giddy and warm about Liam cause we had such a sweet time but i didnt know when i would talk to him again.

0 notes

unladielike · 1 year

Text

Disclaimer: I'm only posting about this because someone has been block evading and stalking my blog to pick fights instead of talking things out with me, which I've been told by a friend classifies as harassment and a form of cyberbullying, especially when I did not respond to him/interact with him beyond a now deleted vent, so I'm just gonna talk about this and hopefully never have to address it again... because this shit is very tiring and I have been putting up with it for days on end now, especially while it had been my birthday at some point.

I just wanna say that if you ever feel like I had officially wronged you in the past, I don't mind apologizing for it, but to continue slandering me for my past wrongs on a public platform instead of privately venting to a friend or talking to me about it is not the way to go.

Of course, I won't deny that I wasn't always the best partner, but I've been here on this hellsite for at least 8 years or longer now, so it's not like I can recall every instance where I dropped threads, not follow through in interacting with past mutuals, or even hurt someone without personally knowing.

Granted, I get people disliking me happens to be an inevitable part of life, but blocking me should really be the end of it. Seriously, if I have not once bothered you or harassed you first, that does not give you the grounds to repeatedly stalk me, vague about me, or argue/debate with me in the replies of a confession blog (especially when you have me hard-blocked).

It's also very disingenuous to claim I'm still the same person that I was years ago, so if needed, I will defend myself, but I think many of my mutuals who have been here since the inception of this blog can personally vouch for the fact I do practice what I preach and know that I now ship with only two people at best and have moved past the point of caring about giving my OC more romantic ships without the proper substance, development, or build up.

It should also be noted that I constantly bring up I have autism if only because it affects how I communicate with others/how I get my points across and to pretend it doesn't would be a huge disservice on my part, as it does affect my social skills, both online and offline. That, however, does not mean I'm using it as an excuse but as an explanation, because too often, I have experienced neurotypical folks being ableist towards me and holding me up to neurotypical standards (ie: thinking I would be able to get hints if they somehow enforce the silent treatment) and unlike many others, I don't have the luxury of acting like I don't have it, because it's a permanent part of who I am that I can't completely mask no matter how hard I might try to do so.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'll refuse to be held accountable for my actions, but at the same time, I won't hesitate to speak out against ableism, point out how I have a different perspective on things due to me being neurodivergent, or defend myself if I feel like I'm being unfairly treated.

TLDR, though? Just talk to me or vent about me privately. Like, I honestly believe I'm a reasonable enough person, so if you tell me I did something to hurt you, then I will listen and apologize, but continuing to obsess over me/hold a grudge against me/misconstrue my points when I haven't been mutuals with you in years like some creepy, butt-hurt ex is not the behaviour of an adult. It's the behaviour of a child who can't let things go.

And believe me, I get being salty, but vaguing about someone more than twice in a row on tumblr is genuinely not a healthy outlet. Of course, it would be one thing if Tumblr was a site where you can set your blog to private like Twitter, but anything you post can be seen by the general public, so at the end of the day, you're achieving nothing by typing out misinformed clapbacks but make yourself look like an ass.

Also, be careful when using the phrase, 'Don't use your autism as an excuse', because depending on the context, it can come across as mansplaining or an ableist, thought-terminating cliché at best.

#negativity tw #negative tw #║▌ ⧼ ⸢ ʚɞ ⸣︳p̲u̲b̲l̲i̲c̲ ̲s̲e̲r̲v̲i̲c̲e̲ ̲a̲n̲n̲o̲u̲n̲c̲e̲m̲e̲n̲t̲. ⧽ ― THIS SHOULD COME WITH SUBTITLES IN REAL LIFE.#⸾ ❖︎ ⸾ ( OUT OF ) ⤹ •• 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟.#[ i've already finished reporting this person ]#[ but i'm honestly not sure if tumblr staff will even follow through with terminating his blog ]#[ REGARDLESS this was not something i enjoyed typing up ]#[ but it has to be said because he has been harassing me non-stop ]#[ and i even have screenshots to prove it ]#[ either way i just want to remind you that all that i will listen if you have any grievances against me ]#[ BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... please talk to me like an actual adult ]

1 note · View note

dementedfilament · 2 years

Text

Wings

Anotha one

Yet another GTHB! This time though, it’s not a fanfic! This is a teeny little story about my protag Crowdan’s parents! This mayyyyyy or may not be a bit spoilery for my novel though, hence why it’s on this blog and not that one.

There’s a whole lot of lore stuff that plays into why his parents have this conversation, but I’m not gonna get into that here. For now, here’s just a story about them being cute~

"Sleep well, my little feather."

After pulling the blanket over his son's tiny form, Kareem slid off the bed. Returning the children’s book to its proper place, he then slipped out the door and quietly shut it behind him.

A sigh, and he paced down the hall.

Once he returned to his room, he swiped a book of his own, pulled it open from the tassel, and settled into the bed until his wife returned from her rites.

At the end of the final page, he paused. The ending scenes danced about his mind, replaying and rewinding again.

"Was it good?"

His orange eyes shot up to the smiling women at the end of the bed, nightclothes draped over one arm. She grinned as he searched for words. "When did you come in?"

"Not long ago. But I didn’t want to disturb you since you were almost done."

"...I apologize."

"No need. You looked really engrossed in it, so it must have been good."

"...It was." As she began to strip from her rite clothing, he watched her with a small smile. "How did it go?"

"It went well. Six more days until the Festival of the Moon."

"Is the dance prepared?"

"Almost. I have a few revisions to make, and they're changing the song a bit this year."

"Is that so?"

She glanced over her shoulder, noting his flat tone. "...Yeah."

"Are you liking it thus far?"

"Yeah! I hope everyone else enjoys it too. We haven't held this festival in some time, so there's probably going to be a lot of people."

"Are you nervous?"

"Not more than I usually am."

He reached out his hands as she plopped on the bedside, but drew back shortly after. "That's good then."

"...Sorry."

"Don't be."

A frown fixed itself on her lips. "...Are you okay? You don't seem well."

“...Do I not?”

“You seem a bit…distant.”

"I'm..." He thought for a moment. "...I've just been lost in thought."

"About?"

Avoiding her gaze, he twiddled his fingers. They waited in silence until he managed to utter a response. "...About our son."

"Is it the same thing we've been talking about?"

A hint of shame crossed his face, and he glanced away again.

"It's not your fault," she said. "Not solely anyways, if blame must be placed."

"But it's my Falling that—…"

When he spoke no further, a smile curled on her lips. "Do I need to remind you where babies come from?"

"No, you do not."

She chuckled.

“I’m aware of the processes.”

“Then you know it’s not your fault.”

Another sigh.

“I mean it. There’s no guarantee anything bad will happen either.”

“But—” He stumbled over his words. “But even when his wings grow…if they grow, he’ll never be truly accepted into our society. He’ll be branded Corrupt and an outcast.”

“So what?” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m an outcast.”

“And I find no more pleasure in that fact either.”

Shifting in place to hug one knee, she gave another little shrug.

“...It only takes one to make a Corrupt.”

“And it takes two to make a child.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

A silence weighed on them. “His wings will stand out more than mine.”

“And? I like your wings.”

He turned his head. “You shouldn’t. It’s a sign of my shame.”

“It’s a sign,” she leaned forward, gesturing to pull his attention back to her, “of your honour. Of your honesty. Of righteous defiance. You should be proud of that.”

His lips pursed.

“It’s an honour few are brave enough to earn.”

“You mean, ‘stupid enough’,” he snorted.

“You’re not stupid. They’re fickle as hell, and you know it.”

For a few seconds, they simply watched each other’s eyes, as if trying to reach a wordless consensus. Then, as she turned her body to face him, a pair of shining, translucent wings extended from Suzume’s back. Fanning them out, she gave her husband a little smirk.

With another sigh, he withdrew his own. Unlike hers, pearlescent and pristine, his wings were a deep grey, nearly swallowing the light. Even his halo was beginning to grow jagged points—a mark of the gods’ hatred.

Through a bit of coaxing, Suzume wrapped her wings around him, interlocking the segments of their wings into something of a hug.

“...Is this allowed?”

“It’s my physical body that can’t be touched, so it should be.”

“I don’t believe the rule has exceptions.”

“Then I’ll be punished I guess.”

A brow furrowed. “You’re too lax about that.”

“What could they possibly do to make me suffer any more? Ignore me harder?”

He hesitated. Memories flooded his head, recalling a time he returned home early. Suzume was clinging to their baby, weeping and apologizing that he’ll be forever rejected from their people, never to find kinship with either of his kind, just as she was. She never wanted the same treatment for her child, but here he was, damned to exist within the same predicament, if not even worse of one.

“...I like your wings. They’re a nice colour.”

“...Thank you.”

“Crowdan’s will be lovely too.”

“They’ll be black.” His jaw clenched. “And he can never purify them.”

“Black, like a crow’s wings!” She beamed. “Just like his namesake.”

“...Truly too lax.”

“And that’s why you love me~”

Yet another sigh.

“It’s fine. Brandr supports us. Uriel and Michael don’t hate me anymore. Crowdan and I will be fine.”

“What about the others?”

“If they avert their eyes, it’s because they know the ‘corruption’ isn’t within us. It’s within those who bestowed us with this so-called ‘shame’. You are proof of our broken system, and you should be proud to ignite the change within it.”

He thought over her words for a moment, then squinted. “You are a queen.”

“And I’m a damn good one,” she smiled. “Because I know where my faults lie.”

Around her colourful rings, Suzume’s warden goddess idly drifted about her halo. Kareem’s eyes trailed her path.

“It’s gonna be okay in the end.”

His hand reached for her again, but returned to his lap. “...I know.”

Lifting her arm, she held her palm open towards him. “I love you.”

He brought his own before hers, hovering inches away. “I love you too.”

They remained this way until Suzume finally parted. “You should sleep. You’re doubting yourself too much.”

“It’s only proper to question my position in this state,” he responded. “And you’re the one who needs to be sleeping. You have a busy week ahead of you.”

“...Sleep well, Cranky.”

He huffed. “Sleep well, Insurgent.”

Giggling, she disappeared behind the door.

#[ Familiar Faces Through the Storm ]#word spores #writeblr #CFR #The Chronicles of Falling Rain #Wings #Good Things Happen Bingo #Kareem Alistair #Suzume Alistair

0 notes