#oops i was not expecting this to get notes. to be clear I am voting in these polls

[hauntoblogical]

I have seen three different "how much of this site is queer" polls this evening poking fun at staff's 1/4 assertion and not a single indication any of them understand statistics. One someone even replied "This might have some sampling bias" what do you mean might what do you mean SOME

#ghostbloggings #like cmon #queer people who make a lot of queer posts including polls like this... #are predominantly followed by queer people. #and queer people are much more likely to reblog said polls for their queer audience #as sampling biases go? #'99% of responders are x degrees of follower separation from the OP' #is really really clear-cut #oops i was not expecting this to get notes. to be clear I am voting in these polls #they can be fun just... tired of people acting like they Mean Anything

[jessbakescakes]

Oh oops I think I meant 98!

I love your writing :)

Thank you!

98. Take a deep breath from this post.

Post-series Josh/Donna for this one!

Josh arrives home just after six one Sunday evening with some take-out and a bottle of wine. The incident that necessitated the trip to the situation room and interrupted Josh and Donna’s afternoon plans ended up de-escalating fairly quickly; when he opens the door and sees Donna sitting cross-legged on the couch surrounded by books, magazines, and binders full of colored fabric squares, he knows that she didn’t expect him back so soon. 

“Donna,” Josh starts, pushing the door shut with his elbow. “I thought we agreed --”

Before he can finish his thought, Donna interrupts him. “How much do you like Senator Benson?”

Josh puts the wine and food on the kitchen counter and walks into the living room. Donna has been dangerously close to a wedding planning meltdown for weeks, and Josh has been toying with the idea of taking a page from the Donna Moss playbook and drawing up some rules to keep her sane. He knows better than to answer, anticipating the can of worms that his response will open, but he does it anyway. “I mean, I’m not about to give the guy a kidney or anything, but we’re friendly enough.”

“Think he’d feel snubbed if he didn’t get an invite?” Donna asks, scribbling a note on a pad of paper in her lap before looking up at Josh, wide-eyed. “Wait, no. You need his vote on… well, I was gonna say 453, but you need his vote on most things. So if we invite Benson, that means we also have to invite Roberts and Winslow.”

Josh reaches for a book sitting to her left, but she grabs his hand before he can make contact. 

“Don’t!” she practically yelps. “I need to mark the page first.” 

He watches as she blindly feels around for a pad of post-it notes before peeling a few off the stack and sticking them on relevant pages. She’s muttering under her breath as she closes one book, but then re-opens it. She lifts the pad of paper and uncrosses her legs, letting out a sigh as she stands up, clearly looking for something she’s misplaced among the sea of wedding planning materials. “Look, Donna…”

“Have you seen my pen?” she asks, kneeling down on the ground and leaning over to peek under the coffee table. She looks under the table and around the couch, letting out a groan when she doesn’t locate it.

Josh kneels down on the floor with her, gently reaching for the pen twisted in her hair before taking her by the hands. “Honey? Take a deep breath.”

She does as he asks and gives him an embarrassed smile. “I did it again, didn’t I?”

“You did,” he laughs. “Quite spectacularly, I might add.”

Donna sighs. “It’s just… it’s getting to be more than I bargained for, I think.”

“Then don’t do it,” Josh insists. 

She gives his hands a squeeze and looks down at her lap as though she’s giving the statement some thought before she answers. “You’re sweet. But we kind of have to. It’s just become such a... thing.”

“We don’t,” Josh insists. “Seriously. If this is what you want, then I’ll do it in a heartbeat. But if this isn’t what you want, then I don’t want it, either. Screw politics, I’d marry you at the courthouse tomorrow if you asked me to.”

Donna looks up at him, her blue eyes just a little watery now. “Really?”

“Absolutely,” Josh insists.

He watches as the tension melts away from her shoulders, her jaw, her neck. She lets out a long exhale, then shrugs. “Well, I don’t know what I want, but I sure as hell don’t want… this,” she says, gesturing to the chaos around them.

Josh reaches for his phone and scrolls through a few contacts before selecting one and handing her the phone. “I think I can help with that. Well, I know someone who offered to help, at least.” Donna glances down to try to see who she’ll be speaking to, and Josh gently guides the phone to her ear before she can protest.

Donna looks at him quizzically, but she beams when she hears the voice on the other end of the phone. “Actually, it’s Donna, Mr. President. I’m calling from Josh’s phone.” She pauses, listening to what President Bartlet has to say. “I’m doing well, thank you, how are you?” Another pause. “You’re right, sir, maybe not so well, then.”

Josh moves to clean up the living room as he listens to her end of the conversation, smiling to himself as she gets what he can only assume is an in-depth recap of the chat he himself had with the former President just a few days prior. 

“Really? Oh, thank you, sir, that… yes, sorry, that would be amazing! Are you sure? I wouldn’t… hi, Mrs. Bartlet.”

When the living room is cleared of all wedding planning materials a few minutes later, he opens the bottle of wine and pours them each a glass. He’s about to bring her a container of food when she walks into the kitchen, handing him his phone. He puts it on the counter and pulls her close for a hug. “Well?”

“The Bartlets offered us their farm,” Donna says, melting into him. “Mrs. Bartlet is going to do most of the detail work and vendor-wrangling, but we get the final say in everything. She and I are going to talk tomorrow after I get off of work to get some planning done.”

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. “You sound relieved.”

She looks up at him, her hands still clasped together behind his back. “I am. How much did you have to do in order to convince them to do that for us?”

“Almost nothing. I called for an unrelated reason, and he asked how it was going. I may have mentioned that you were a little overwhelmed, and that was all she wrote.”

Donna leans forward to give him a kiss. “President Bartlet made a pretty compelling case for doing it in October. With the leaves. It would make for some really nice wedding photos.”

“Yeah?”

“Is that too soon?”

“I seem to recall saying I’d marry you tomorrow,” Josh says. “You tell me when to show up and I’ll be there.”

She grins and reaches for a take-out container. “Don’t make any plans for the second weekend in October, then. Apparently, that’s the best leaf weekend, according to President Bartlet.”

“What is it with you two and leaves?” Josh teases.

“I’m sorry that you don’t have a running joke with the former leader of the free world, Josh,” Donna says with a shrug. “Maybe he just likes me better than you.”

“Sounds about right,” Josh says. 

Donna takes a seat on the couch, rattling off names for a much more exclusive guest list between bites of food. Josh just watches her and smiles, thankful that she agreed to marry him in the first place.

#josh x donna #my fics #this one got long whoopsie

[oh-theatre]

Objection!: Chapter 24

Chapter title: The Dark I Know Well

A/n:  IM SO SORRY!! ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS!! Im really sorry!! Ok but heres this chapter and yALL ARE NOT READY FOR THE NEXT ONE OOP- In other news I love logicality, and Remile AND IM SORRY THIS CHAPTER SUCKS BUT ENJOY I HOPE

First | Previous | Next

words: 4297

summary: Patton gets back into court, but things don't turn out the way he had hoped

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene,  murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol 

Ao3 Link  

Patton was getting used to it, to waking up with something, someone around his arm. He was getting used to feeling safe, some nights were worse than others. Some nights he felt frozen as his demons engulfed him, Logan had to get used to that as well. Today was easier, Patton awoke in a seemingly empty bed. He rolls over but the covers, the warmth...it was his. He decides that at some point in this early morn he must awake. Mumbling nonsense he hoists himself out of the comfort, dragging his blanket with him.

The smell of coffee and fresh breakfast definitely drew the man in. He stumbles into the kitchen, his vision clearing as his eyes set upon a humming Logan moving around carefully, trying his hardest not to make noise. 

“What are...you doing?” He yawns, wrapping the blanket further around him. Logan turns setting down the final pieces, a delighted grin crosses his face. “Who are you and what have you done with Logan?” Patton jokes through a grumpy furrow.

“I have some news” Logan tries to contain himself, Patton approaches fumbling with Logans tie. The lawyer finds his smalle pouting face adorable as it adjusts to the morning light. Logan leans forward placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. 

“Mm” He hums sweetly “News?” He questions, still fiddling with the tie in his hands. Logan takes his hand, placing it under Patton's chin, a soft blush grows on the father's face. 

“Liams case” He starts, instantly Patton can feel the air shatter around him, Logan recognizes the drop in his face. “Love, its going through” He continues, Patton looks up, his eyes shining once more “It's going to trial”

“Ah!” Patton exclaims, a toothy smile spreads, one Logan adores so much. Logan laughs with him, picking him up as he spins him around. Realizing his giddy manner he sets him down, both coughing as they recover from their moment of adrenaline. “Its going through?” Pattons sobs, gentle tears tickle his cheek. Logan wipes them away with his soft thumb, kissing Patton over his face. Sweet kisses placed intricately over the smaller lawyers face. Adorable giggles as Patton steadies his ragged breathing. Logan embraces him, as Patton coils his arms around Logan's neck. Once they've pulled away Patton's mind fills quickly. Questions race, he struggles to structure them. “W-whos on the case?” 

“I am” Logan bites his lip, Patton awaits the unfortunate turn, the ugly truth “As the prosecutor” A breath of relief from both. And yet another tender moment as they clutch so desperately to one another. 

“Children” Patton identifies pulling away, shaking off his feelings he turns with a giant smile, instantly scooping up his twins excited as they jump into his arms. “Good morning my little humbugs!” He greets, a special kiss on the head for each. Logan watches from the outskirts, feeling as though such moments he would earn as time went on. Remus spots the idle figure, an ecstatic giggle emerges.

“Dada is here again!” He blurts through his delusional exhaustion. Pattons eyes shoot open, he takes a soft but deep breath. Logan suppresses a chuckle but welcomes the young boy with open arms, gently stroking his hair to organize the mess. A quick hug before Remus mimics his father as he fumbles with Logans tie. Clearly conducting an investigation of his own, through...odd means. Chewing, stretching and placing strategically on his head, alas the boy concludes nothing. “Dada?” Remus looks to Patton, the lawyer nods “I'm gonna call you papa now” He informs

“Ok” Patton laughs, looking grateful to the ever calm Logan. Patton really needn't worry, Logan finds himself quite comfortable in this situation, almost looking forward to it. “So then what's Val gonna call me?” He amuses

“Imma call you papa! We are going to share so that mister Logan doesn't feel left out” She explains, it becomes harder not to cry for Patton. It feels unreal, this, here and now...surely a dream. “Nom nom!” She squeals, Patton agrees setting her down on the couch. Logan follows suit, ruffling their hair as he walks away. The lawyers meet in the kitchen, soft whispers as the children throw their hands in the air for communication. 

“Lo?” Patton checks, a supportive rub on Logans arm as they lean on the counter. Logan rolls his playful eyes. 

“You do not have to continue to check in” Logan states, Patton lifts innocent eyebrows. “I'm alright, yes it may get harder however right now I am okay. I will inform you otherwise” He assures, Pattons small smile understanding, he leans his head on Logans shoulder. The taller of the pair places a kiss on his forehead, sighing as they watch the twins, oblivious to the world around them. A moment frozen in time, a picture they longed to frame to enjoy when things swirled darker. “Your phone” Logan notes

“Mmhm” Patton yawns, pulling out his device. Fearing the unknown, relieved by the identified caller. “Heya Leo!” He greets with a smile, Logan keeps a steady hand, fiddling with Patton's fingers. “What?” He gapes, coughing back his thoughts, Logan becomes alert “They simple...but '' He listens, the voice of Leo rushes through his words on the other end. “No vote? No campaign?” Patton manages 

“Patton?” Logan whispers in curiosity, Patton takes his hand squeezing only slightly. A terrified excitement passes his face. 

“Yes of course I understand” He goes through, Logan awaits his own intrigue bubbling. A giddy Patton struggles to control his smiles and cheers. “I can do Thursday, three o’clock? Perfect” He promises, marking it down quickly on a notepad that lay idle on the counter. “No Leo I'm… I have so many questions.” He chuckles through his nervousness. “He recommended me? He's just stepping down?” Logan furrows his brows, annoyed with the anticipation. “Yes of course, Thank you so much Leo” He nods on the final notes, now feeling tears well under his glasses, the brim catching them before they fall. He hangs up the phone, a shuddered breath.

“Love?” Logan eyes him, feeling a pit in his stomach form.  

“I'm going to be a city counselor” Patton grins

~~~

“But hes okay?” Patton asks, his hands growing sweaty. James nods, yawning through and through.

“Yeah, I stayed up with him and eventually lured him back to bed” James describes “I think he's getting worse” He sighs, rubbing his forehead. Patton ignores the plethora of texts and phone calls buzzing, knowing the unknown caller means nothing but trouble. “We made an appointment for the doctor this afternoon, I just want him to be ok” James admits

“I know, we all do” Patton thinks back to the restless nights when Roman would stay with him, flinching as he remembered the tight hold he had over the petrified man. “The doctors is a good idea, you're doing everything you can” Patton assures, a grateful smile from James and they continue walking. Spotting the antsy detective instantly, Patton stops the pair. “Just a quick warning, above all else Virgil cares alot about R- his friends-” He corrects, a lifted eyebrow from James. “Don't take it personally, he's just worried”

“Patton!” Virgil calls out, reaching them, Patton takes his shoulder quickly. “Is he ok? What happened? What did you do!?” He turns on James and fast, his temper overtaking. 

“Hey” Patton begins gently, a soothing rub on the man's arm “He didn't do anything but help” Patton promises, feeling as though a mediator. “We went through this Virge, remember? Ro’s going to be going through some stuff” Virgil keeps a dead glare on James, the judge keeps his head high in retort. 

“He was fine, he's been fine...until you” The detective seethes. James scoff, offended by the accusation. Patton keeps them apart, less than excited for the violent turn this may take. “You did this! You did something” Virgil argues

“Okay no” James replies, Patton sighs knowing this won't take a turn for the better. He feels his stomach churn, a dazed sweat on his forehead forming. Listening as the muffled voices of the pair argue, it must be a reflex he deciphers, feeling sudden arms wrap around him so gently. Expecting more panic instead Patton finds comfort as Logan embraces him from behind, kissing his cheek sweetly. His arms placed ever so carefully on Patton's stomach, meeting the lawyers hands. 

“Hi” He whispers as Virgil and James continue. Patton melts into it, feeling this unusual sentiment from Logan so sweet. Though he does wonder what might have slipped into the man's coffee for such affection. 

“Hi” He replies softly, spinning so he faces his partner. Logans excitement is obvious as a smirk is placed on his face. “What's gotten into you?” Patton chuckles. A quick turn in Logan's expression, concern. “What is it dearest?”

“I should have-” He straightens himself, adjusting his glasses with a clearing of his throat. “I shouldn't have snuck up on you, I apologize” Patton lets out a soft exhale, a goofy smile. He hadn't noticed, but it had not set anything off in him. In Fact that small moment of surprise felt nice. He moves his arms down, interlacing his fingers with logans. 

“I appreciate that but I'm okay” He assures, tuning out the consistent arguing. “Lord almighty will the both of you stop” He begs, Virgil and James turn to him both realizing Logans presence. 

“Oh hey Lo” Virgil greets, his tone shifting calmer. Patton rolls his eyes looking between the pair. “When did you get here?” He asks, an innocence to the flutter of his eyes. Neither lawyers amused. 

“Whats the disagreement about?” Logan inquires, adjusting so he stands next to Patton, their fingers interlaced in sweet secrecy. Patton fixes his glasses, as he waits for yet another explosion from either of them. 

“James here has no regard for Romans health” Virgil spits, a pressed smile as he bats his eyes towards the judge. James stomps an angry foot, feeling trapped in his words. “See?” 

“Thats not true” James begins, his voice kept low and steady. “I care a great deal for Roman and have taken the measures I can to help him” James explains, Logan admires his honesty and his level head. Knowing how Virgil's anger and sarcasm can rile a person. “Virgil I understand your upset, I also know your history with Roman and how much you care about him. But I promise, I am doing everything I can to help him” James softens, the detectives' defenses fall as his shoulders hunch. The sweet concern sparking a familiarity in him. 

“Whatever” Virgil decides after a moment, keeping his reservations about the judge. He gives the lawyers one more look before taking his leave. His mind carefully flooding with thoughts, wishing to see Romans arrogant smile, galavant down the halls, bellowing with laughter. Feeling alone, by his own hand. 

“He does not like me” James states, timid laughter from the group. The people around them combine into one busy noise, each with a duty to fulfill. “Speaking of Roman, I'm going to go check on him” James figures “Ill see you in court mister Hart” With a nod of agreement from Patton, James follows suit and disappears into the marbled halls of the courthouse. 

“Excited for court?” Logan lifts Patton's hand, linking their arms instead as they begin walking. A soft chuckle from Patton, prompting his own cluttered thoughts to begin.

“I suppose, Diana is a worthy opponent so far, but it feels like the entire case is stacked against me” He admits, flashing a quick smile to Lia as she leads some children to the daycare. “James is nice enough and I have nothing against him…” Something chews at the tip of Patton's tongue, Logan can tell there is more. There's always more. 

“What?” He turns them into his office, closing the door behind him. They take their rightful seats, at least something stays the same. 

“Nothing it's silly” He waves away the doubt, wanting to move on quickly. Logan deems this occurrence small, nothing needed to push. 

“My mothers are coming to visit” Logan recalls an earlier conversation. Patton beams instantly, his teeth almost blinding with their joy. “I believe that would be an optimal time to inform them of our current relationship, and introduce them formally to the twins” Logan suggests, Patton purses his giggles.

“Yes of course” He jokes, the room stings still with this small moment of comfort. 

~~~

“Objection if you claim that your defendants being framed!” Diana cries, the court on the edge of their seats as both lawyers tense in determination. 

“Then all the same I ask you where's the proof?” Patton retorts “Every piece of evidence has been circumstantial or proven invalid!” Patton flips through the evidence slides, only proving his words “My client-”

“Lacks a solid alibi!” Diana claims, Patton scoffs, pulling out yet another file. 

“Read it and weep” Patton places it on her desk “Every night of every murder accounted for. George couldn't be more innocent if we tried” Patton dusts himself, glancing towards the audience spotting a prideful Logan in his seat. 

“Order! Order in the court” James bangs his gavel, every breath silent. “Enough, this is not a playhouse. You will treat my court with respect and follow the rules” He declares, an uneasy glare shared between the lawyers. “Now mister Hart I wont tolerate this behavior, miss Bernard please continue your questioning” 

“Your honor-” Patton begins, but the subtle look from James prompts his quick seating. He glance shameful back at Logan, the lawyers stern glare at the judge unmatched. He tried to analyze the man, find his quirks, why was he doing this? The light buzz in his pockets sets Patton off. He raises his hand calmly, alas his foot taps incessantly. James finds the noise an annoyance, turning to Patton.

“Yes mister Hart?” 

“I have a call, I need to take it” He doesn't ask, he is past that point with James. After a quick furrow of the eyebrow, James waves him into the hall. Logan eyes him but stays planted. “Mister Hart” He sighs, feeling exhaustion take over. 

“Yes I do indeed know this” Pattons heart sinks, the toxic feeling spreads. The voice snickers, a quick chill runs through the mans spine. “Any day now” It threatens, Patton sinks his nails deep into his palm, his forehead drowning. “Seriously, I would say your goodbyes now…”

“Leave me alone” He whispers viciously, begging as he keeps himself calm. 

“Nice try” It replies “I'm dying to meet you” It jokes “Soon, but for now...farewell” As the line goes dead, Patton shudders a breath. He shakes away his thoughts returning into the room, Logan stands and is seemingly arguing with James.

“That's unjust your honor” He argues, Patton gives him a glance but the lawyers frustration has taken over. “Shes badgering the witness!” Logan claims, James shares a look with Diana before he turns back to Logan.

“First of all overruled, second if you continue this behaviour I will have my bailiff remove you from my court” James states, adjusting his position as he leans back cavalier. “Mister Hart, please return to your seat” Patton did so, a grateful lock between the lawyers as he passed. Alas Logan was right, Diana was good but she had a temper and it would be fine if James didn't allow her to continue. Patton found himself discouraged yet again, this case was going to kill him. 

~~~

“Behave! Please” Emile begs as the children race past him, bouncing as they land on his couch. Remy chuckles following them into the doctor's office, shutting the door. Quieting the busy precinct outside. He cradles Thomas, humming as he sways softly, Emile watches with the gentlest of smiles. Remus grows ansty and begins jumping in place, causing fits of laughter from Valerie and Damian. Soon enough its as loud in there as the outside.

“Hey” Remy starts, he places Thomas into Emiles arms before scooping Remus up in his own. “Why don't you three find something calming to do?” He asks, Remus giggles as he crawls onto the detectives shoulders. Remy adjusts so he can secure the rowdy child.  Remus fiddles with Remy's hair, trying to braid the messy fluff. 

“May I say hi to Thomas?” Damian asks, tugging ever so sweetly on Remy's pants. Emile stifles a delighted swoon before nodding. Damian returns to the couch, his hands sit in his lap, small taps as he waits for Emile to situate himself. The doctor hands him Thomas, wrapping his arms so he can help Damian. Remy plays with the twins, laughing wildly as they dance around the room. For a moment Remy and Emile meet each others eyes across the room, a shared sparkle of affection, surrounded by this outpour of love and joy. 

After what seems like hours the kids find themself exhausted once more, each cuddled together on the couch with one of Emiles blankets sprawled across them for comfort. Remy and Emile sit by the desk, huddled over a now sleeping Thomas.

“Wanna count his toes and fingers again?” Emile whispers, leaning his tired head on Remy's shoulder. Remy places a gentle kiss on his forehead before sinking into the touch. 

“I think he still has twelve of each” He teases “Let him rest” Emile chuckles softly, a yawn emerging. “Em?” Remy asks, the doctor nods.

“Hmm?” He hums, stroking Thomas’s head ever so delicately.

“I love you” Remy finds Emiles hand, interlacing their fingers. A lazy gasp from Emile as he sits up to look his partner in his eyes. 

“Crazy!” he delights “Cause I love you too” He assures, leaning in for a kiss. Thomas coughs, almost missed in his low tone, but his eyes flutter open. A sense of safety as they land on his parents. Thomas finds Emiles finger and squeezes with all his force, though not much, Emile struggles to hold back his tears. Remy tickles the baby, the lightest of laughs as Thomas feels tired once more. Safe and secure in couples arms he returns once more to the land of dreams, Emile and Remy smile at each other. A family, their family. 

Patton was absolutely right

Love does make a family

Nothing else had to matter, some people might not understand that. Why should blood and genetics define the undefinable. Remy and Emile loved each other and they loved Thomas, that was a family. Patton loved his kids and Logan, that was a family. Virgil loved Damian, that was a family. Love was the secret ingredient, whether biological or adopted, maybe a group of friends, a family is what you make of it.  

And Remy and Emile had made theirs

~~~

“Objectively that is not the best book ever” Logan drones on, Patton walks alongside him listening intently, while Virgil simply groans. “Ah I see im boring you, I will refrain from this topic any further” He decides, a thankful squeak from the detective, Patton chuckles mindlessly, his tired eyes drifting away. 

Logan however wasn't sure why luck had deemed it so but as Gloria walked towards him, he was sure no gods were watching over him. And as her hand flew across his face, he wondered...at what point did that same bejeweled hand fly across Patton's unsuspecting, innocent, face?

“Logan!” Patton cries, moving rapidly towards him, taking his side by the lawyer. “Are you ok?” He questions in a gentle whisper. 

“Im fine” He promises, his instinct to get Patton as far away from the woman. But alas the father's sweet concern turns to fiery anger.

“What is wrong with you?!” He forces, Glorias smirk falls away. “Are you insane?” He accuses, Logan keeps a steady hand on his partner. Patton takes a breath shaking his attention away from his mother. “Come on” He takes Logans hand, walking away followed by an angry detective. 

“Patton, love im ok” Logan assures as his partner examines his face. Virgil watches, a subtle happiness for his friends. 

“Oo nicknames that's adorable!” Roman muses, giddy as he struts into the room. Virgil squeezes his arm, stopping his thoughts. Logan swats sweetly at Pattons hands, taking them so they stop analyzing the slapped area. “Wait what happened?” 

“Shh not now” Patton whispers as two children race towards him, jumping into both his and Logan's arms. Remus instantly begins talking Patton's ears off, Valerie simply snuggles into Logan. “Hi humbugs” Patton greets, Logan though wishing to stay gives Patton a knowing glance. “Val come here love” The handoff is simple, a quick kiss to Pattons cheek and Logan accompanied by Roman makes his way out. After a quick farewell Virgil leaves as well, Remy following him.

“They were great” Emile adds as the fours of them head to the office to clean up and get ready. Patton awes as Remus somehow crawls his way into Emiles arms. “Well hello mister”

“Mister pickle!” Remus exclaims, kissing his hands as he places them on Emile's face. They continue, laughing as they recollect the day. “And then we made art! And I got to play with baby Thomas! And he's my other best friend!” Remus smiles, grinning a bit too wide, Patton chuckles but soon that falls away and his heart tightens. 

“Liam” He sighs, thinking his fear of the man would have disappeared by now. Emile grasps his hold on Remus, a more secure protection on the boy. “Why are you here?” He asks for what seems the desperate millionth time. 

“I wanted to see my kids, and I heard you were moving on...couldn't let that happen” He smiles, a soft lip twitch that Patton had fallen for so many times. Emile brings him back with a gentle touch. “Emile” Liam recognizes

“I have Remy on speedial” Emile threatens, his eyes dead as he watches the only person he would ever dare utter the word hate about. Patton could feel his throat sink as it dried up of all his words, he wanted to run anywhere and yet he couldnt. His feet refused to move, to take a step beyond. “You should go” Emile suggests. Patton nods, not looking him in the depths of his cold eyes.

“Cupcake”

“Liam please stop” Patton pleads as Liam refuses to listen. He whimpers slightly but breathes through his fear. The kisses feel rough, Patton wonders if this is what its supposed to feel like, the force pushing him onto the couch. He tries to slightly move, but feeling his body stiff and pinned. “Liam please, im exhausted” He didnt want to tonight, he didnt have the energy to amuse this sickening feeling. 

“Come on cupcake, you love it” Liam places the lie in his ear, backing away for a breath. Liam starts to unbutton his shirt, Patton looks up remembering Logans words. ‘Look up to the sky, past the ceiling and there in the stars is me. You've got this. Breathe’

“Breathe” Patton smiles, he looks to Liam biting his lower lip. “Goodbye Liam” He strides right past, followed by a prideful Emile who cant contain his giggle. “Shush Emile” He teases, his own blush spreading. 

“I didn't say a word but…” Emile purses his lips, linking his free arm with Pattons. “Nicely done, im proud of you peaches” The nickname stumbles out, nostalgia hits the pair, the friendship of the fathers re-sparking. “Come on, I'm sure Logan wants to see you and I want to see my precious angel”  Emile coos, imagining the small face of his baby, blowing the tiniest of bubbles. Patton catches his dazed eyes, and laughs sweetly.

“I know that look” He remembers, the shame and despair all washed away when he first held the twins. “Im reall-”

Bang

Patton wasn't sure if he heard it right but Emile knew what a gunshot sounded like. He also knew how close that was. He grabs Patton, once more making sure Remus is safe in his arms, he races them into a nearby office. Dropping them to the ground almost instantly. 

“Pa-” Emile begins, but Patton hushes him. He clutches him close, also making sure he can feel Remus’s soft hair under his fingers. He knows the feeling of pure fear, he knows how to save face under absolute anxiousness. How and why images of Liam flashed through his head was a different question.

“We have to move” Patton advises, hoping the deafening silence meant an opening. Emile nods, he covers Remus as does Patton with Valerie. They move quickly, a gasp as yet another sound rings out. 

Bang 

“Guys! In here” They recognize the voice, Willow ushers them in her own face streaked with tears. They follow her in, too much adrenaline runs in them for the terrified feeling to sink in. But as soon as the door shuts closed in an isolated corner, Emile drops heaving to the ground. He cries, trying to stifle it for the sake of his confused and scared children but something is in him, triggering whatever sobs fall out of him. 

“Emile I need you to breathe” Patton begs, Diana emerges as she cradles Valerie. Emile shakes his head, apologetic. Another sound shakes their ground, another ear piercing scream. When had Patton become so numb to this? “We have to keep moving” Patton says, supporting Emile and allowing Willow to carry Remus they move once more. Watching familiar faces escape, alas only so many can. Somehow they find themself stuck inside, nowhere to go and so few places to hide.

But yet, they were not alone.

Only their luck would deem it so. 

His stupid petty fear was going to get them caught, his silly cries as he banged on the door.

Dammit Liam...why couldn't you have left?

#objection au #logicality #prinxiety #remile #platonic demus #sanders sides #patton sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #Logan sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #youtube #Thomas sanders #remy sanders #emile picani #ao3 #archive of our own #writing #write #ocs #original character

[survivorbehemoth]

Episode #1: “brb gotta go to dinner” - Logan

This is literally the worst possible outcome, I would know the 10 fkers on the other tribe and only know of like 2 people on this tribe, sayonara it's a wrap a mere 5 minutes after the cast reveal concluded.

Omg! So this game started and i landed on a short witches tribe.. Maybe we are short but the humor around Helgamine is definitely tall. Love my tribemates! They are a bunch of really chill and fun to talk to people. At this stage of the game my goal is to get a good grasp on the already existing pre-game relationships within people. This knowledge will allow me to know what to say and to who. Other than that i'm focused on developing bonds with people without approaching them with gametalk. A pretty slow start for me, i don't need at all to jump into making alliances left and right. It's the beginning so its important to just leave a good (and non threatning) impression on my  tribemates.Those people seem to want to CALL a lot during the day JASHDKGAHD and i'm still exhausted from study group calls for exams so.. i'm not gonna be trying to do a lot of that. I'm however really excited for what's this game is going to bring up <3

_______________________________________________________________

Gonna do my own first impressions as well, to put some of my thoughts together.

Daisy - oh how i love her.. She's so positive and adorable. We have a pending plan for a call and I'm really looking forward to it. She's more experienced in discord ORGs than me and we are both BaR winners so.. we gotta work together. At least for now. She seems like someone that would be a bigger threat than me down the road.. I feel like we have a potential to work together well and I'd want to establish a duo with her and be partners in crime in this tribe. <3

Scott - OMG the only person in this whole cast that i actually knew before this game? we didn't talk in like 4 years but when i saw him in this cast i literally gasped. I enjoyed catching up with him and he is definitely someone i could see myself aligning with. Yesterday we shared each other concerns about a mention of alliances and alliance calls. And neither of us  introduced gametalk with other tribemates. He also mentioned that he wants me to be his #1 in this game. And i'm digging that!

Rob - OKAY our conversation on day 1 was p much awkward.. We have a mutual friend from the fb org and he was mad at me for winning an ORG over her and he literally didn't hestitate on letting me know that.. But we talked a lot yesterday and found out many common interests. He wants us to be like Fenella and Shonee and i mean why not? I really like talking to him but i'm not sure if i can trust him yet. He's the first person that reached out to me about doing a call and we did one today LMAO i had a lot of fun. He's definitely very social so keeping him as close as possible to me can only bring me some benefits. stan him tho <3

Seamus - Someone who i saw around forever but never had any opportunity to talk or meet his ass.  i just vibe w/ his clowny personality and already called him a caveman and a half british. <3 hoping to build a good connection here.

Logan - Funny and very active. He definitely stands out as he talks the most in the tribe chat and plans all the tribe calls. We had some good convos so far, mainly about total drama. Love watching his videos for this immunity challenge KSAJDHG but other than that i'm not sure how i feel about him but i would like to get close to him and work together when the game gears will switch on

Jules - She's so adorable and our talks are very cute but... they don't happen very often.  And she's not really contributing in the challenge so far which i really hope is going to change because in case we lose i fear that people will view her as an easy prey for the first boot? I hope that won't be the case and that she's going to snap cuz i think she's lovely and i enjoy our conversations.

Conor - Didn't have much to write about him until today. He just dyed his hair to the same color i got last summer so we have no choice but to stan. For real tho, we are the only europeans on this tribe (maybe even entire game?) but i don't have much to say about him. Curious how he will approach the game once we are forced to start playing.

Gage - Hmmmm! I like him, but don't really have any kind of trust towards him. He's just quite flirty and the flow of our conversations is weird/forced? I can't stop thinking abt Dean Kowalski and Spencer whenever he messages me.. It's like he's their survivor child.

Vincent - Great he immediately brought up his twin brother with who i played twice and ended him... twice as well. I literally have no idea how or what to talk about with him :/

Hmm the challenge is almost over

I definitely wasn't a challenge MVP by any means. I think everyone but Scott outscored me. But I did a lot better than I could have expected at the challenge start. 65 points isn't a Dooze-level score but it's a lot better than the 30 points I was expecting earlier.

Click HERE to watch Billy’s Round 1 Video!

Lol I'm super happy to be apart of this season!! So far it's turning out to be a great one and I'm hoping that I can do what I need to in order to get far.

Not gonna lie I just had a feeling we were gonna lose this challenge. Like I just... stink at challenges and knew I wasn't going to do well. So I just made sure I didn't have the worst score. Which I hope puts me in the clear. However, i lowkey get the vibe I might be going just cause the conversations are so... bland. Like no ones come purposing an alliance and such. I know I don't want to be the first person to do so, which means someone's gonna have to step up.

Anyways, here's my thoughts on everyone.

Szymon: he's cool, definitely my #1 out here, we've known each other from previous orgs and such. Seamus: I know who he is from tumblr,  but I don't know him that well. he seems chill. Daisy: Queen, shes an icon and O hope she can be my female iconic duo Logan: He seems like he wants to be THAT person who likes to be in control of everything, but doesn't want to come off as controling everything. So I let him think he owns me :) Vincent: I like him, he's a cool guy and one of the few I've talked to the most. He already told me about his vote steal and I'm just like "damn, look at you go!" Conor: He's cool too! I enjoy talking to him when I wake up in the morning. I like hearing about him and his boyfriend too. Gage: home boy likes to flirt around with everyone doesn't he. i'll play a long, but leaving a mental note to not go far with him. Jules: They're cool, not really that social tho but they try. Rob: I forget that he's on this season oops.

I really thought I was gonna get the boot first cause everyone is just so quiet. But the conversations seem to be between Jules and Vincent. Which I'm personally okay with either of them as long as I'm still here. I'd prefer Rob though just cause he doesn't make an effort to talk to me that much, but it is what it is.

Let's hope I get by this round and can survive the first boot. I like to think I can, but you never know with this group.

Click HERE to watch Cindi’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan G’s Round 1 Video!

Tribe Assessment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bPt3M2z-Yw&feature=youtu.be

Day 2 Confession:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU2v9ChlOm4&feature=youtu.be

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA SAY IM NOT ACTIVE JUST BECAUSE I DONT GIVE MY BLOOD SWEAT TEARS AND COOCHIE TO TALKING TO ALL THESE FUCKING MEN???????? LIKE???? YALL ARE TIRING! YALL ARE ALSO LOVELY BUT I CANNOT TAKE ALL THIS MALE ENERGY!!!!! PLS UNDERSTAND!!!! P L E A S E!!!! MEN SUCK BYE

we lost the challenge which sucked. but i really like my tribe. everyone seems chill. i didnt think we were gonna win the challenge though becase several people didnt rlly try to even get 100. so originally i thought it would just be a super easy vote on vincent because he isnt very chatty, but logan is annoying everyone. asking to one on one call and sinking his own ship by pushing so hard (giggity) for jules to go home. so i think either logan or vincent will go this round

I’m liking my tribe mates more than I expected. I’m just trying to play it cool so I make it to merge. I feel like that’s everyone’s goal. I love the alliance of Cindi, both Dylan’s and myself. I’m hoping that we stick together, because I feel like we can be a really strong alliance moving forward. I also think I might be good with Beck, because they’re dating Asya and we played a game together a couple years ago. Asya apparently still really likes me from what Beck said. So woo! Let’s continue the good vibes.

Click HERE to watch Beck’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Ali’s Round 1 Video!

So past 4 hours is a lot to process, but basically i got home expecting a pretty easy vote on Vincent. He's a great kid that but have to think about performing well in the challenges as a tribe. So then miss Logan decided to play as if it was merge and not day 3 and just went off with targetting Jules?? I am not having any of that because Jules is too fun to talk so i made sure to let Jules know immediately of what was going on. I believe i was the first to warn her of what's happening so that brings us two closer. Logan then went on calls with everyone individually, ending my call in such a shady way with an excuse of having a dinner... when he was just going to call with Seamus. And he told Seamus that he was currently eating the dinner.. WHAT? Anyway just got the tea that Logan was making multiple trios as well. WHY DO YOU NEED TO PLAY SO HARD? THIS GAME HAS JUST STARTED skjdghd

I feel really bad because he said that he was the first boot the last time he played due to playing hard. But this is just him... not learning from his past mistakes at all :/ Im sorry but i don't feel comfortable moving forward with such a ticking bomb. Neither he or Vincent have any benefit for my game at this point so Im hoping this plan that we put in motion with Daisy to get rid of Logan works, and then we have Vincent as an easy vote next time we lose.

Click HERE to watch Rob’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Conor’s Round 1 Video!

Click HERE to watch Dylan’s Round 1 Video!

So I'm more optimistic now that I've properly gotten to know a lot of my tribe, I think I'm socially in a good place but I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and get lazy with communication. I love the little group I've got with Beck, Cindi and Dylan and I think Dylan G and Christian or Chips would fit in like a glove if we ever visit tribal council, and we needed to bring in another couple of people.

All I have to say before tribal is that I really... finessed this vote.

Logan got lose and decided to voice call everyone telling them that they need to vote Daisy. Which made a lot of people more on edge to vote out Vincent. I don't want Vincent to go because I think he's still useful. He has the vote steal advantage and I think he's someone who trusts me. He might not be a number for other people, but Vincent is a number for me. SO I want to keep him around as much as I can cause I trust Vincent more than Logan. So to save Vincent, I decided to throw Logan under the bus and push for him to go. I'm glad I did that since that got traction with Szymon and Daisy on board with voting Logan. However, they weren't enough so I campaigned to Seamus, Gage, and Rob to vote Logan out. They were hesitant at first, but they eventually came around and got on the ship to vote Logan out. I had to voicecall Gage, Rob, and Szymon to convince them but I'm glad it worked. I mean, i had to throw out there that I had an alliance with Logan and Vincent in order to get them to expose Logan's other alliances, but I did what I needed to do in order to save Vincent. So with everyone on board to vote out Logan, I think I set myself up to be in a good spot moving forward.

If I'm gonna be the move maker this season, then I guess I'm starting out the game with one of the biggest moves yet. Poor logan being the first boot AGAIN, but that's what happens when you decide to scramble your butt off.

Click HERE to watch Gage’s Round 1 Video!

__________________________________________________ 

Logan is voted out 8-1. He is the first person voted out of Celestial: Behemoth.

Watch the Round 1 Cast Assessment with Anna/Jack/Jones & Alyssa below:

#episode #superspooky

[zoenightstars]

Post-It Notes, ch12

on Ao3

ch1 | ch2 | ch3 | ch4 | ch5 | ch6 | ch7 | ch8 | ch9 | ch10 | ch11 | ch12

oops sorry about that long wait! hope this makes up for it! huge thanks to @sunlitshowers and @megatraven for helping me work through this chapter. i owe you my life tbh and shoutout to @reyxa and @agrestenoir for listening to me scream into the void and smash my head against the keyboard as i wrote this!!

i hope you guys like it!!!!

Adrien Agreste is horribly, visibly nervous. He stands in front of his locker, aggressively tapping his foot and refreshing his text messages with Nino again—

From: lover boi To: alya’s bf Hey i need u to come to my locker i’m freaking out

—and again—

From: lover boi To: alya’s bf It’s important i have done something horrifically stupid Even by my standards

—and again.

From: lover boi To: alya’s bf Bro it has been fifteen minutes where in the fuc k

Adrien can’t stop thinking about it. About how he had asked Marinette out. About how her hand had felt in his, and how badly he wants to feel that again.

About how she didn’t look at the note before he’d left.

About how he might have ruined everything.

His post-it note game had turned into a gamble, and the universe’s slot machine is refusing to tell him if he’s won or lost the bet. Finally, his phone vibrates.

From: alya’s bf To: lover boi hey my dude my bro my dudebro i couldn’t find my phone… turns out i put it in the wrong pocket or something headed over rn

From: lover boi To: alya’s bf Thank god Never call me dudebro again

“What’s wrong, my dudebro?” Adrien hears Nino’s voice and snaps to attention, hitting his head against the locker behind him in the process.

“That nickname,” Adrien grumbles, rubbing the back of his head where he’d hit it. “And also, I asked Marinette out. And now I’m having a crisis.”

“That nickname is fantast— holy shit, you did what?”

“Asked Marinette out. I gave her a post-it note asking her to be my girlfriend? I think?”

“Adrien,” Nino shakes his head incredulously. “You think?”

“I mean, it kind of feels like a dream? I was kind of detached from that whole thing, honestly. I accidentally held her hand for about thirty seconds while I slipped her the note because I got so caught up in the moment, so now she probably hates me.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Nino places his hands on Adrien’s shoulders, steadying him. “Breathe, dude. Breathe. We’re breathing.”

“If you say so?”

“Okay, let’s go over this. One, you asked out Marinette. That is not an undoable action.”

“Thank you, I feel so encouraged right now.” Adrien rolls his eyes.

“Two, shut up. Three, you are simultaneously disgusting and adorable. You held her hand for thirty seconds without even realizing? Seriously?” 

“I… don’t know? It could have been longer?”

“Jesus Christ. Four, why the fuck would she hate you?”

“Because she didn’t open it before I left? And she hasn’t responded?”

“That is ridiculous. And five, we’re ten minutes late for physics.”

“Holy crap, we are ten minutes late for physics!” Adrien throws his phone into his bag and makes a run for it.

“Whoa, slow down!” Nino yells, running after him.

“I’m gonna get my ass kicked by Ms. Mendeleiev! I am so screwed and I am—” Adrien skids to a stop, smacking a hand to his forehead in frustration. “—forgetting my fucking textbook.” Adrien sprints back to his locker, nearly knocking an out-of-breath Nino in the process.

“Dude, please chill?”

“NO,” Adrien shrieks, frantically inputting the combination and throwing open the locker door. He grabs his textbook and makes a beeline for the physics classroom.

Ms. Mendeleiev purses her lips in disapproval as Adrien and Nino burst into the room, panting. “Mr. Lahiffe,” she says as they slide into their seats, “I cannot say I am surprised.”

“I appreciate the vote of confidence,” he responds, with a guilty yet amused look in his eyes.

Ms. Mendeleiev turns on Adrien as he slowly opens the textbook cover to try to quash the adrenaline rush that has overtaken his system and to avoid any and all attention directed at him from his very angry teacher. “Mr. Agreste, on the other hand,” she scolds, “I was not expecting to be so tardy.”

Adrien averts his eyes and stares down at his textbook as he opens it. “I’m so sorry, I am—” Adrien sees the yellow sticky note and a flash of pink and glitter. He yanks it from the inside cover and slams the book shut, jumping to his feet. Oh god. “—going to the bathroom now. I am going, right now, to the bathroom. Thanks.”

He can feel Marinette’s stare burning into his back as he dashes out of the room.

Adrien lets out a long exhale as he closes the stall door behind him. He carefully smoothes out the creases in the note before reading what it has to say. “Please let this be good,” he whispers to no one in particular.

Yes! With love, your lady, Marinette.

And this is the high he’s heard about. The rush of being in control, of winning the bet. He’d been afraid of the risk, but with this note, the odds are a hundred to none in his favor. Moments like these, he thinks, are the kind that get people addicted to gambling.  

He waits for her outside of class. She’s the last one to leave. She glances around the hallway, looking for something, but doesn’t seem to find it. Adrien clears his throat. Marinette jumps a little, startled, but when she turns to face him, her eyes are all mischief and nervous energy and excitement.

Adrien raises his hand in greeting. It’s hesitant, but the smile she returns is immediate.

“Hey.”

She giggles, and Adrien wants to record that sound and play it on loop forever. “So… did you get my note?”

“I did.”

“Is that why you left physics?”

“It is.”

“Did you like it?”

“Of course.”

Her eyes sparkle. “I’ve never heard you talk like this. What happened to your standard eloquence?”

“I am…” he trails off, trying to memorize the sound of her voice. “I am at a loss to describe how over the moon I am right now.”

“I’m not at a loss. I’m on a whole other planet.”

Adrien cannot even rationalize the cocktail of emotions he feels in this moment, but the one thing that keeps coming back to him is lucky. “Well?” Adrien extends his hand for Marinette to take. “Shall we, princess?”

Marinette glances down at it with a smile full of anticipation and warmth that makes Adrien melt. “We shall.”

As their fingers intertwine, Adrien can’t help but notice how different this is from the last time. Last time, his head was in the clouds, full of fantasies, far away and separate from the reality of their touch. This time, though, the feeling of her hand in his brings him down to Earth, more aware than he’s been in a while.

This time, he’s grounded. This time, he’s safe. And this time, he’s not wishing for a miracle— he has his miracle. That’s what Marinette is. His miracle. His princess. His lady.

And he couldn’t be happier. 

#miraculous ladybug #mlfanfiction #adrinette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #mlfamfiction #sunlitshowers #larvesta #megatraven #agrestenoir #reyxa #sadrien #romo // #post it notes #maya writes stuff #ENJOY!! #comments kudos reblogs and tags always appreciated <3 #im NOT back from hiatus

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 8: “jay, I don't know who to trust anymore“ - Zest

Brianna

Okay Marie got voted out cuz Felix idoled Joey and that shit and I’m really upset about it. I think I just. Need to remain calm tho. I don’t need to freak out just cuz something didn’t go my way. I believe I’m still in a relatively good spot in the game and can still do some damage if I play my cards right. The only question is to who. The big targets now are Felix and Apollo in my opinion. How to get them out and remain safe is the question. Guess I have some thinking to do. Cya : ) 

Felix

I played an idol correctly for once in my life. This is actually the biggest gag of the century because it saved my ally and now I have at least some numbers left. Flint, Joey, and Lysandre are all numbers for me. I also think Boris is one too, but all Sumi people just rub me the wrong way. Next round will be interesting because we need to get rid of someone from Sumi because they are gaining traction quickly. Though, I doubt that people will remain loyal to that tribe alliance. I mainly want to target either Zest/Brianna/Apollo. They have got to go. This is an independent game, but I'm stuck in a position where I have to work with my old tribe. Yet, I can still gain the trust of Boris and Lysandre. I don't think I can EVER work with Apollo/Brianna/Zest. The latter two because I just don't talk to them enough. The former because I literally cannot trust his word. These three are the biggest threats to my game and they need to go. My order would now be Zest > Brianna > Apollo. My FTC could be with either Lys/Joey or Flint/Joey. All I know is that Joey is coming with me to FTC because he is the goat to end all goats.

Flint

WOW that tribal was wild. I did not expect Felix to have that many advantages. And that transparency one?! That really exposed me for flipping on our Tuai alliance. Just when I thought I couldn’t be any lower, here I am sitting in the grave I dug myself. Hope Marie keeps a slice of pizza warm for me cuz I’ll be joining her soon. 

Apollo

Ya bitch just found a motha fucking idol!!!! I’m fucking screaming!!!

zest

jay, I don't know who to trust anymore. I am a ball of stress. I want to stay in this competition. I need to figure something out. 

Felix

It is interesting to me that Lysandre chose Boris over me in the last round for immunity. To me that means he did not want me to ever win immunity in the first place. Thus, I must be a target for this tribal council which does not surprise me at all. I did, after all, just make a huge move and shook up the game so it comes as no surprise that people would begin targeting me. I do not believe that I can convince Zest or Brianna to vote my way, so there's no point in talking to them about the vote. I want to go for Apollo in this vote, but I do not know if I would have the numbers to do so. Honestly Flint can go now if he is so inclined, but we need to do something about this Brianna/Zest/Apollo alliance that I know is around. Apollo probably wants to take them to the end rather than Boris since they are major goats in this game. Maybe we should strip him of his numbers first before actually striking at him. Plus, Zest or Brianna would be a stronger pill to swallow for people to vote out. All in all, my plan remains the same though I doubt that without this immunity that I will make it much farther in this game. 

Lysandre

So the challenge is a chain reaction and I'm trying to set my list up to who I want to win vs who I Dont want to win. I mixed the Boris in at the top with the Taui folk.

Lysandre

My target for this round is Briana or Zest! And honestly even Apollo but idk about him yet. Lets see how the list challenge goes first. LysandreSo I put Felix as number two on tbe list so I cab show my trust to him and I think it worked out. ONG I FREAKING WON THIS CHALLENGE. AT final 8!!! I did that ugh my social game I love that whore. And the JURY voted for me to win it since there was a tie!! I am beyond ecstatic 

Lysandre

So winning immunity is both a blessing and a curse. It shows that I'm a little bit of a social threat as well as challenge threat and they see that now in how I was positioned on the lists (by thinking really hard about it lol). I also got the Jury's vote which says that between me and Boris they support me more which gives me more fuel to take Boris to the end of the game with me along with say Joey. I also came to the conclusion that it was Apollo and Zest who put me somewhere in the middle of their list or presumably under eachother and Boris which leads me to believe they are Sumi strong. I believe this is enough for me to try and target Zest this round. She's not playing the game for herself and she's in no way loyal to me. Apollo, however, seems to want to take me further than a few people so he can stay for now. All I have to do is cut out his ride or die Zest and I possibly take that spot. My eyes are still on Apollo since he has some sort of advantage and my eyes are on Flint who has this alliance with Brianna.. 

Lysandre

On second thought I may have to get Apollo out this round. He still has an advantage and is more of a threat than Zest. However, if he goes then Zest has to be next. My only concern is Boris and where his head is at the moment. I think it would be easier to get him to do Zest versus Apollo but if we DO vote out Zest Apollo is gonna be pissed and may turn on me. 

Flint

Well I botched another immunity challenge. That’s 3 for 3 now. No one has talked with me, and after my failed flip I’m getting paranoid I’m being voted out tonight. 

Apollo

Is Lysandre a politician? Do they think they’re Yul Kwon? Hell no! Because you’re about to get clockt in two rounds sweaty! I want them out so bad, I want them out now but I can’t.

Apollo

Idk if I’ve confessed since Marie Went  home but omg I can’t really complain about it, I’m not that mad! Lol. It’s upsetting the three amigos are still in but Marie was a bigger detriment to have in the game than Joey could ever be. I’m starting to consider working with Felix over Lysandre since I found out lysandre is in 5 alliances. And that’s more than I’m even in. BorisLysandre is amazing and i would die for them

Boris

So much is going ON. Marie was idoled out but i don't care bc I kinda wanted her gone anyway. Ive been at pride all weekend so I havent been able to be around much. Apollo is controlling as always. Lysandre and I are still a power couple. Felix is an icon. I forget flint and Joey exist sometimes. Brianna is ok. Zest is ok Jay had to threaten me to get me to confess so sorry this sucks lmao. Ill do better confessionals once pride weekend is over! LysandreSo it looks like the votes for Zest are coming in quite nicely and its going to be her. Apparently Apollo is sketched out by me and thinks I'm in the best position in the game... Ok??? You're right and all but ok??? You're too loud lmao

Felix

Alright so I hope the vote is Zest. Everyone is telling me that it is Zest or Flint. Apollo wants Flint gone. Everyone else wants Zest gone. It's a wild time. I'm just happy that neither my name nor Joey's name is being said during this round. It must mean we did something right this round to not be targeted as hard as we should be. Either way, I'll be here for another round unless I get idoled out, but that is unlikely to happen. Lys told me some interesting things today. Flint is heavily working with Brianna as a sort of duo that wants to make it to the end. This is interesting considering that Flint told me that he is the most distant with Brianna. I think Flint was lying to me, and he was just testing me with who I want out. If I had said the wrong name, then he would have begun targeting me this round. Luckily I already knew his relations with Brianna so I didn't say the wrong name. Though, that duo should be something to watch out for, though they are no present threat to me. This means that allegiances, the real ones, exist like this: Lys and I Joey and I Apollo and Zest Flint and Brianna Boris is the only one who I feel is an actual free agent in this game which puts him in a dangerous position for me. If he does decide to betray me, he can easily rally the votes against me. Though I need him at the present moment, so I cannot start targeting him. It is interesting to note however, I'm not going to stalk the idol hunt. It's too many outcomes for no rewards. Plus, I've already used three of them so I shouldn't have more. Good luck to me I guess.

Felix

Apollo is trying to vote out Flint which is still weird. He really seems to want to split the vote though which is super strange. I don't like how he is playing and I am just going to vote out Zest to keep myself safe this tribal council. Plus, she was totally @'ing me in the chat with her tribal answer which is fair enough, but that means the sooner she leaves the sooner I'll be safe.

Boris

Apollo thinks I'm still loyal to the f3 alliance of us and Zest but I personally like Felix and Lysandre more so uh oops. Felix and Lys want Zest out because shes simply just a loyal number to Apollo without any other game influence. And HONESTLY I agree so im voting Zest, but this is kinda cementing it to Apollo that im more loyal to others than him, so uh yeah Im scared !!

Flint

Tonight’s vote is a gesture to gain favor and trust back from Felix and Joey. I hate to vote for Zest but I need to prove my loyalty. But I think Felix has this game in the bag if he makes it to the end, which a lot of people are starting to realize. So it’s tough to balance a big move and lose Felix’s trust again or be considered a player that only rides Felix’s coattails and doesn’t play strategically. 

Felix

Apollo is going on and on about how Lys is secretly working the middle and that he's manipulating everyone. Let me be clear. It's obvious to me that this is what Lys is doing. I mean what else is he supposed to do? He has no Mea tribe members so he has to go and appease everyone on this tribe for a right to be in the game. Then there's Joey who believes Lys and Apollo are working together to take us both down which I don't believe. What I do believe is that Lys is putting his trust into me and is loyal to me. He's playing a fantastic game as of the moment, but I cannot get him out because he's a number for me. I need those numbers to take down Apollo. And then Boris. I just hope Lys does end up keeping me around because I'm placing a lot of trust in him.

Lysandre

So apparently there is a last minute scramble to trash my name on Apollos behalf. He revealed that I was in 5 alliances and is saying I'm a big ole threat since I was at the top of almost everyone's lists. I mean he's right but guess what baby boy I'm immune and your partner Zest soap is not. Lets see if you keep this same energy next round.

Brianna

Um so. I wake up from my 2 hour nap at 8:50 and now there’s a voting extension. Apollo told me he doesn’t know if people are voting Felix or flint. Flint tells me everyone’s name except Apollo’s was thrown out. And lysandre tells me they’re voting zest....I kind of...don’t know what’s going on....I wish Marie was here. She could’ve told me. So guess I’m voting? I don’t know. Felix? Might change in the next fifteen minutes 

joey g

So this round has been bonkers. I reached out to Lys and Felix because I needed to secure a trust going forward, but I’ve also reached out more to the Sumis as well. I really didnt want to vote zest, but felix is sorta running the show and I think that’s what Lyse wanted. Apparently its between Flint and Zest, but I cant say I feel comfortable at all

Brianna

Lysandre just told me apollo is targeting me...oop...

Brianna

Guess I’m trying to get zest out now! Lol 

Flint

I’ve heard that Tuai is using my name as a decoy which makes me really paranoid for tonight’s vote. I wish I had some security but that idol is so hard to find

[seraphichan]

the first lines of my last 20 fics

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 fics (or however many you have altogether) and see if there are any patterns. Then, tag some of your fave authors.

tagged by the ever lovely @kiokushitaka ! thank you <3 (and sorry this took me so long - i am the worst)

i’ll tag @mongoose-bite @generatorcat @pinkheichou @fairylights101 @agent-2-6​ and anyone else who might like to give this a go

Reciprocate

There weren’t many things that surprised Moblit anymore. Working under Hange had made him immune to the shock of the uncertain and unknown. But that didn’t mean there still weren’t some things that managed to catch him off guard.

Like when Levi said

“Sure.”

Moblit was joking when he had asked if Levi wanted to go out drinking with him. He expected a curt “No”, accompanied by a disgusted scowl, as that was what anyone else ever got. Even Erwin, on those rare nights he wasn’t cooped up in his office, was rebuffed time and again.

Alow/Lethargic

Jean had planned to go to the gallery. It was opening exhibition night for him and a handful of other students. It was bad manners - and bad self-promotion - not to go, but Jean was so fucking tired from finishing the projects in his showcase, and then setting them up, that he decided: Fuck it. He was going to go to bed. He would have been dead on his feet had he gone anyway.

He was enjoying some quality shut-eye until his dorm door slammed open and jolted him awake.

“Sorry.”

That was Levi’s voice. Jean would recognize it anywhere. He was almost always with Eren; they were near inseparable as a couple.

Defile/Hummock/Slough

“Alright! Everyone line up! It’s time for lunch!”

There are screams and shouts and what sounds like a herd of tiny buffalo as the kids abandon whatever they are doing on the playground and run towards Petra and Levi. Once they are all in order - or as orderly as a bunch of first graders will get anyway - Petra marches them inside, single file. Levi stands to the side and counts them as they pass.

Twenty...twenty-one...twenty-two…

Levi frowns. They’re missing one.

(oops, this got waaaaay long, so check out the rest under the cut~!)

Cartographer/Orientate

For all the hell they went through, the defeat of the titans came quickly enough. It was...odd. The world as they knew it had effectively come to an end and they were left with nothing but the question

“What now?”

Eren looked at Jean. He didn’t have an answer for him. The walls were gone, taken down bit by bit, titan by titan. Eren was so tired. He wanted to sleep, but at the same time he felt too restless to do it.

“Well,” Armin piped up from between them, “we spent so much time fighting to live. Now we can actually do it.”

Pittance/Factoid/Junket

Mike did well. Levi half believed he had punched Erwin after all. And Erwin took his supposed beating quite gracefully. Whoever that Hange person was, they knew how to write a speech. It made Erwin sound noble for persevering through this hardship, and it gave him a chance to reiterate his intent to clean up crime in the city, should he be elected.

Of course, Lobov dealt with that in a press conference of his own. He came on a mere hour after Erwin, slander dripping from his tongue.

“--a fake attack meant to get him sympathy votes and nothing more--”

If Lobov hadn’t already shelled out the money, Levi would have been worried he had actually figured out it was fake. But, as it was, it just made the statement hilarious to Levi.

Tatterdemalion

The trek up the mountain was as arduous as he remembered, but Erwin was prepared for what was at the peak this time.

Or so he hoped.

The price for a spell was not clear cut. There was no starting cost based on the nature and power of it, or how it might be used. There was only estimation and uncertainty.

The first time Erwin came he did not realize this. He had brought a sack of gold, thinking that currency would be an acceptable currency. Levi - or The Tiny Witch as most people called him, though Erwin was certain he shouldn’t call Levi that to his face - had sneered at him and told him to leave. Perplexed, Erwin went back down the mountain. Was it not enough? He returned a few days later with double the gold and was met with the same reaction.

Eighty-six

“The usual?” Hunk asks him when he comes in.

Lance supposes he should be more concerned that he has a regular order at the fast food restaurant on the college campus, but considering the perks - frequent discounts on his food and access to the company’s private, password protected wi-fi so he gets faster internet - he can’t seem to find a reason to be concerned at all.

“Yeah,” he answers, digging out a few crumpled bills from his pocket and laying them on the counter.

“Rough day?” Hunk asks as he takes the money and taps in Lance’s order.

Ambiguous

Levi’s phone pinged and he dug it out of his pocket, tapped at the notification and opened his email. It was an e-vite to Erwin’s birthday party. Hange already knew Levi was coming - he had helped them book the hotel for the occasion just a few days prior - but he supposed this was his official invitation. He replied with a Of course I’m coming, you shitstain, then scrolled to the bottom in search of the most important information.

What the fuck to take.

He had asked Hange to list some ideas so he could attempt to get a decent present for once - he was abysmal at gift giving, tending to go for things that were boring and practical over exciting and inventive.

Levi stopped scrolling when he saw “gift ideas” and pursed his lips in disappointment when he read the message:

Bring something nice! :)

Hyperbole

Levi sneers at the bowl Kenny sets before him. “This looks so bad it’s already giving me the shits.”

“Listen hear, you little cuss, you said you were hungry so I made you dinner.” It’s only defrosted and reheated leftovers of some questionable casserole the old lady downstairs made Kenny nearly a year ago, but still. It’s something. “And it looks just fine,” Kenny grumbles.

“If I eat it, I’ll probably die. Do you want to kill me?”

“Getting close.”

Vaticination

Erwin should have seen this coming, but hindsight, as they say, is twenty-twenty.

The plan was: the more decorated officers he brought, the more admirable the Survey Corps would seem, and the more funding they would potentially get from the nobility. Of course the plan didn’t work if all of his most decorated officers were either too anti-social or too in-your-face.

Widdershins/Snaffle

There was the sound of a doorbell and Armin lifted his head, watched as the security guard swung around in his chair and looked at the monitor on the desk by the door. He stood and pressed the button, and in walked Armin’s dad.

“Hello,” he greeted the guard, “I received a call about Armin Arlert?”

“You the dad?” the guard asked.

“Yes,” he smiled. “Erwin Smith.” He held out his hand.

Napery

When Erwin came home Levi was ironing the table linen.

It’s not as if that never happened, but normally the only time it did was after washing them and before using them, which was only around the holidays. It was August now, nothing of note in sight for months, so Erwin immediately knew something was wrong.

“Levi?”

Levi’s shoulders twitched and he put the iron down, but he didn’t turn.

Flack

Levi was halfway through his cup of tea when a man - taller than Erwin, how even? - knocked on the back door and let himself in to the tune of Erwin’s mother cooing “Mikey!”

“Dee,” he greeted in return.

“How have you been?” she asked.

“Good, thanks,” he said quietly, smiling at her. His gaze flicked to Levi. “This the short son of a bitch you mentioned on the phone?”

“Oi,” Levi huffed.

Brachiate

There are many questions Levi could ask at this moment--

Are you okay? Do you need help? Who’s going to pay for my window? How did you manage to throw yourself through my kitchen window in the first place?

--but all that comes out of his mouth is:

“The fuck?”

Ignoble

Exude confidence, Levi reminded himself. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, sat up a little straighter in his chair. Act like you’re supposed to be here.

Because he certainly didn’t feel like he did. Everyone was walking around like they had been birthed in their Armani suits, five dollar coffee cups in their hands along with the silver spoon.

Levi, on the other hand, couldn’t stand coffee, and, even if he could, certainly wouldn’t pay that much for it. He wasn’t exactly dressed for success, either. Sure, he was in a suit, but it was an ill-fitting one. It belonged to his uncle that he hadn’t seen in years. It smelled like smoke and everything was too big. He had to hike the waistband up to his ribcage in order to get the crotch to fit right, and the arms and legs were so long that he had to fold the extra fabric up and in and pin them in place to get them to stay.

It had him feeling like he was still ten, despite just turning thirty.

Watershed/Transpicuous

“Tell me - what was it like aboard the Rogue?” Erwin asks.

It’s not a loaded question by any means, but Jean can make it one, depending on his answer.

“Armin’s doing fine,” he answers, deciding to risk it.

The air stills immediately. Hange stops flipping through the book in her hand and Levi sits up straighter in his chair. Mike glances to Erwin who nods at him, then he pops his head into the hallway to make sure no one is around before closing the door with a clatter and locking it.

Jean swallows. He is so dead.

Sarcasm

The buzzer for their door goes off and Mikasa jumps.

“Annie, the door.”

“Ignore it,” she says, continuing to lick and bite up the inside of Mikasa’s thigh.

Another, longer buzz sounds, and then Mikasa’s phone starts to ring.

Annie sighs and releases Mikasa’s skin from between her teeth, presses her face into the bed. “Persistent fucking...I swear if it's--”

“Hello, Jean,” Mikasa greets over the phone.

Annie growls and rolls off the bed.

Munificent

It starts small - a kiss to the cheek before he leaves for work, flowers at his desk when he gets there. Before his stomach can even growl for lunch he gets a special carryout delivery from his favorite Turkish restaurant. In the afternoon another bouquet arrives, this time accompanied by a box of chocolates - imported chocolates that Eren knows costs well over three hundred dollars.

When he leaves at the end of the day, instead of taking the subway a car is waiting for him outside to take him home. The ride is longer because of rush hour, but the interior is cool and comfortable in a way that the subway definitely is not, and there’s a bottle of champagne he can sip on as he waits.

Eren knows his face is red, can feel his ears burning - when the car pulls up to their high rise apartment complex and he gets out to follow the path of rose petals on the ground that lead into the foyer and to the elevator, which, instead of its normal smooth jazz jingle, plays the first song they ever danced to as he rides it up.

Retrospective

“This is the faculty art show. Shouldn’t you be out there mingling, Eren?” Levi asked.

Yes, he should be, but how could he when his pants were pitched like a fucking circus tent?

This was his fault, he supposed. He forgot it was opening night or else he wouldn’t have taken Levi’s suggestion that morning to wear a vibrating plug all day.

Eren jolted and gasped as Levi increased the setting.

“Shh,” Levi cooed, “or they’ll hear you.”

Unreconstructed/Occam’s Razor

“...of unreconstructed bias, but if we applied the principles of Occam’s Razor to the platform of business, we could project...Erwin are you listening?”

“Not really,” he admitted.

Hange sighed. “I need you to try and pay attention for me, please. If I’m going to be a TA for Professor Arlert, I need to get this presentation in order.”

“You’re not going to get his attention until he gets an eyeful of his sexy art man,” Mike said.

#tagged #my fic #snk fic #and that one lone #voltron fic #i hope all the links work i didn't do a double check on them

[viralhottopics]

While You Were Offline: Free Nuggs. Pls RT

As of this writing, most of the internet is discussing the US missile strike in Syria, Russia’s condemnation of it, or some combination of the two. Oh, you thought fast-food Twitter weirdness, Wendy’s promised a user named Carter Wilkerson a year’s supply of nuggets if he could get 18 million retweets. Wilkerson immediately went to work:

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS http://pic.twitter.com/4SrfHmEMo3

— Carter Wilkerson (@carterjwm) April 6, 2017

His plea seemed like a long shot, but eventually it started getting traction—amassing over a million retweets in 48 hours and rallying others around his cause.

@rafficlassiy @Tom_Ruffin @carterjwm @ConanOBrien @jimmyfallon @TheEllenShow @MeninistTweet @McDonalds @RickandMorty @chrissyteigen @pizzahut We should make a Facebook page to support him and start making a real effort..if he were to get 18 mil that would be record breaking history

— Wheelerrrr (@redneckxice) April 7, 2017

@carterjwm I am emotionally invested in this.

— Mary Numair (@MaryNumair) April 6, 2017

Our boy is trending in twitter

This man needs 18m retweets for a year's supply of nuggetshttp://bit.ly/2nVSSox

— lil' conno from 69th (@larkin_conner) April 7, 2017

Even Wendy’s was cheering him on.

@MarkPygas @hellxxn @carterjwm Nah, not afraid. It would honestly be pretty awesome if he got that many.

— Wendy's (@Wendys) April 6, 2017

@joewest_ Call us Captain like Nathan Fillion, Carter wants nugs for 18 million, Tweets for eats, drop in the bucket, worth it all for chicky nuggets

— Wendy's (@Wendys) April 7, 2017

1 Million?!?! Officially SHOOK http://bit.ly/2orIPvd

— Wendy's (@Wendys) April 7, 2017

Soon, mainstream media picked up the story and Wilkerson had his own Twitter Moment. The attention didn’t get him much closer to his goal, though. But considering that Ellen DeGeneres’ Oscars selfie only surpassed 3 million retweets, his quest was surprisingly successful. The Takeaway: So far, Wilkerson has amassed some 1.7 million retweets, but that number is climbing.

The Ballad of Devin Nunes

What Happened: When House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes stepped down from the government’s investigation into Russian interference in the presidential election, the internet stepped up with some commentary. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Let’s journey back to a more innocent time last week, when the biggest thing in the world appeared to be the news that Devin Nunes recusing had said he wouldn’t leave his post. So why’d he do it?

Devin Nunes to step aside from House Intel Russia investigation after ethics complaint http://pic.twitter.com/Zv3VjoMN42

— Bradd Jaffy (@BraddJaffy) April 6, 2017

Oh, OK. As the news broke, Twitter responded as one might expect Twitter to respond:

TIMELINE: Nunes on March 28: "why would I" step down from the Russia probe? Nunes on April 6th: steps down from Russia probe

— Evan Rosenfeld (@Evan_Rosenfeld) April 6, 2017

Devin Nunes is stepping down so he can spend more time with his flop sweat and vacant, nervous stare

— Ike Barinholtz (@ikebarinholtz) April 6, 2017

Nunes re-election slogan: Once you've tried everything else, always do the right thing.

— Jason Kander (@JasonKander) April 6, 2017

No Nunes is good Nunes?

— Jon Lovett (@jonlovett) April 6, 2017

But while some were noting just how devastating investigations into the Trump administration’s potential ties with Russia had been—

In the past month, journalists' work led to recusal of Sessions and Nunes. "Fake news" is taking real scalps.

— Justin Miller (@justinjm1) April 6, 2017

"Hoax" Trump/Russia story having a lot of real world impact:

Manafort (Resigned) Flynn (Resigned) Sessions (Recused) Nunes (Recused)

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) April 6, 2017

—others were complaining that Nunes had surrendered too easily.

Nunes should not have recused himself. Most likely pressured by Paul Ryan to do so. Deep State at work.

— John Cardillo (@johncardillo) April 6, 2017

How many Dems stepped aside?

How many Dems recused themselves?

Stop playing the Democrat game.

Finish repealing #Obamacare @potus #Nunes

— Real Erin Cruz (@WAGNERGIRLE) April 6, 2017

Some conservatives, however, were happy to see Nunes go, if only to welcome his replacement.

I would like to thank Soros for filing bogus complaint against Chairman Nunes because now Trey Gowdy is in. The lefts worst nightmare. http://pic.twitter.com/hyalac5EAq

— Ex-DemLatina (@terrymendozer) April 6, 2017

Dems, you happy now? Chairman Nunes stepped aside.

Well dumbasses, now you've got the relentless & fierce Trey Gowdy.

DEAL WITH IT. http://pic.twitter.com/w9Qcyy31hJ

— elle #MAGA (@SurfPHX) April 6, 2017

The Takeaway: Another day, another upheaval in Washington. Speaking of…

The Nuclear Option

What Happened: It might seem like the internet isn’t a big fan of tradition, but the response to the changing of rules in the US Senate might suggest otherwise. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: It was a big week in the US Senate, as the confirmation of Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch heated up. Firstly, lined up enough votes to filibuster the nomination, leading to this suggestion to Senate Republicans:

Senate GOP has a choice: break the Senate rules or sit down w/ Dems & POTUS to come up w/ a nominee who can earn 60 votes.

— Senate Democrats (@SenateDems) April 6, 2017

Rewrite rules or abandon Gorsuch and come up with an alternative option? In these partisan times, it’s easy to guess which option the Republicans chose.

McConnell is poised to use the Nuclear option setting in motion the Mutually Assured Destruction of the Senate as a deliberative body.

— John Hergt (@natureofthings7) April 6, 2017

As @SenateGOP change Senate rules for Trump, voters will remember that they broke their promise to serve as a check on POTUS

— igorvolsky (@igorvolsky) April 6, 2017

Grassley, heading into vote, confident that Rs will blow up filibuster. Says Senate will return to rules used "from 1789 to 2003."

— Dave Weigel (@daveweigel) April 6, 2017

The so-called "nuclear option" in Senate votes means, "following the Constitution."

— Ann Coulter (@AnnCoulter) April 6, 2017

And so, a of and

BREAKING: Senate votes 52-48 to repeal rule allowing filibusters against Supreme Court nominees, clearing the way for Gorsuch confirmation

— Reuters Politics (@ReutersPolitics) April 6, 2017

How did that go down, do you think?

Moment the senate "went nuclear" and changed the rules the chamber was somber, silent, barely a breath.

— MaryAlice Parks (@maryaliceparks) April 6, 2017

BREAKING: The United States Senate

— Jesse Lehrich (@JesseLehrich) April 6, 2017

The Senate #GOP just used the #NuclearOption to push through Gorsuch to final vote, even w new #TrumpRussia revelations daily. #WeObject http://pic.twitter.com/W6Ro0i1qW9

— NARAL (@NARAL) April 6, 2017

So was there a Republican SCOTUS nominee that could have gotten 60 votes? Probably.

Were Senate Republicans interested in finding out? Nah.

— Matt Fuller (@MEPFuller) April 6, 2017

.@SenateGOP To sum up: GOP just changed Senate rules b/c they didn't have votes they needed to get outcome they wanted. This is an attack on democracy.

— Women's March (@womensmarch) April 6, 2017

The Takeaway: This probably won’t backfire on the Republicans, right?

The Senate GOP has just a few years until they deeply, deeply regret destroying the Supreme Court filibuster.

— John Iadarola (@johniadarola) April 6, 2017

Oops in Advertising

What Happened: You guys, you like being politically aware? You like Pepsi? What if we mix those two flavors together? Oh, it’s a disaster? Oh, OK then. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: It was, quite simply, the advertisement that no one could quite believe was real. Last week, Pepsi released an ad featuring Kendall Jenner that showed the reality star/model joining a protest and bringing police and protesters together with the power of Pepsi. To call it problematic would be an understatement. In fact, let’s just let Twitter handle this, shall we?

the new @Pepsi ad evoking imagery of @IeshiaEvans in Baton Rouge is total exploitative brand social activism bs http://pic.twitter.com/YzAFtWEzDO

— Sherry (@slchen_) April 4, 2017

-this is the closest we have ever seen a kardashian be to activism and it's a fake protest in a pepsi ad she was paid millions to appear in

— jack wagner (@GrimmKardashian) April 4, 2017

*kendall jenner hands cop a pepsi*

cop: im not racist anymore

— BRANDON WARDELL (@BRANDONWARDELL) April 4, 2017

"It's not a cola." [taps board] "It's the resistance." … "Mr. Draper, for the last time, you no longer work here."http://bit.ly/2orT42C

— James Poniewozik (@poniewozik) April 4, 2017

"Hold my wig, Keisha. I've got some liberating to do!" "Um, it's Jennifer." http://pic.twitter.com/pgcqsGAQGu

— Tax-free Hands. (@thewayoftheid) April 4, 2017

Nevertheless, she Pepsisted. http://pic.twitter.com/53e6rxLS50

— M egi (@MattNegrin) April 4, 2017

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Pepsi ended up pulling the ad within 48 hours. The Takeaway: The real winner of this whole PR disaster? Coca-Cola, probably.

Next year Coke is going to buy a Super Bowl spot and just play that Pepsi ad.

— Guy Endore-Kaiser (@GuyEndoreKaiser) April 4, 2017

History Lessons

What Happened: Turns out, it might be too soon for the FBI to start saying nice things about someone it once investigated. Who knew? Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Last week marked the anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., an occasion honored by an unexpected source:

Today, on the anniversary of his assassination, the FBI honors the life, work, & commitment of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to justice. http://pic.twitter.com/WZInYKQx2g

— FBI (@FBI) April 4, 2017

Yes, that’s definitely an FBI tweet celebrating man the agency complicated history with. Twitter?

@FBI alright then http://pic.twitter.com/0FCZfoOy4z

— Jordan Uhl (@JordanUhl) April 4, 2017

Memories. @FBI http://pic.twitter.com/yOHDnL3azu

— Ben Wizner (@benwizner) April 4, 2017

There are too many ironies to count here. http://bit.ly/2nVQ3nn

— Eli Lake (@EliLake) April 4, 2017

@FBI y'all terrorized the man most of his adult life, all because he was trying to make a difference for his people. Shove your remembrance.

— cx (@cxcope) April 4, 2017

@FBI I think every MLK celebration tweet should end with "And we're really sorry."

— Erick Fernandez (@ErickFernandez) April 4, 2017

The Takeaway: This seems to sum the whole thing up, really.

The FBI gave MLK a shout out today.. http://pic.twitter.com/ztIEQPpl8L

— Sadpagne Papi (@jonesdmvv) April 4, 2017

The Corrections Dept.

What Happened: The New York Times accidentally published some fake news last week. The paper then issued a quick (and embarrassing) apology. Where It Blew Up: Twitter, media reports What Really Happened: Everyone loves a good newspaper correction, and this one was better than most.

A correction today from @NYTimes. http://bit.ly/2nVRZMl http://pic.twitter.com/IfZ4oFijgG

— Harrison Golden (@harrisongolden) April 5, 2017

And even that correction was corrected.

@markberman The first draft of the correction actually read: "Ivanka is his daughter."

— Ayla Mayer (@santapauli1980) April 5, 2017

Yes, the original version apparently forgot that Trump actually has two daughters.

HIS OTHER DAUGHTER IS TIFFANY. #SayHerName http://bit.ly/2nVYoXX

— Gary Legum (@GaryLegum) April 5, 2017

The big question, though, was how the mistake had managed to not only be made by the writer, but also get past editors. There was one dominant theory.

"Editing error" = "Freudian slip" http://bit.ly/2orT5nc

— Robert Hamer (@rsolonhamer) April 5, 2017

Is this a Freudian Slip? Or an Electra Complex? Or an Oedipus Complex? http://bit.ly/2nVCHYd

— Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) April 5, 2017

The internet, naturally, saw the humor in the gaffe.

This article is horrifying but the correction at the bottom regarding Ivanka is fucking hilarious. http://bit.ly/2orDDHw

— Surviving the End (@EndTimeSurvivor) April 5, 2017

i've been on the phone all day, did anything else good happen http://bit.ly/2nVCoMW

— cat ferguson (@biocuriosity) April 5, 2017

The Takeaway: This guy gets it.

Peak 2017. http://bit.ly/2orL6pY

— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) April 5, 2017

Read more: http://bit.ly/2nVMPjC

from While You Were Offline: Free Nuggs. Pls RT

#While You Were Offline: Free Nuggs. Pls RT