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ham1lton · 15 days

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i’m with the band.

pairing(s): lando norris x singer!reader

warnings: v slightly angsty? but happy ending.

summary: pop band CHANGE! has just released their anticipated third album; however, fans notice that the songs seem to tell an unsavory story….

author's note: i didn’t know whether u wanted me to do a happy song or sad but i like drama. i refer to y/n’s bandmates by their roles. so guitarist, bassist and drummer so you can add their names in! also this album is loosely based on SAWAYAMA and 5sos’s album youngblood. listen to them both if u haven’t!! incredible albums. if you can name all these songs that have been mentioned then MWAH!!! 😍

liked by harrystyles, landonorris and 3,388,728 others.

changeband: thank you so much to the best, coolest and awesomest fans in the fucking planet. shoutout to everyone who showed up to our listening party in philly last week! you were metal as hell and we loved meeting everyone of you. no more fomo for the rest of you all now that our newest album is now out! please stream and buy and recommend to your friends and family and colleagues and even that annoying neighbour that everyone hates. we love you and we love this album!! here are some behind the scenes pics of us making and brainstorming this baby!

user1: this album is sooo good!

user2: ooh y/n got her masters in cuntology with a concentration in motherlogical studies from the university of servington… that NOTE in dynasty??? oh goddddd.

-> user4: DYNAAAASSSSTTTTYYYY 🗣️🔊

user3: the casual photo dump like they haven’t released the album of the CENTURY?

user8: you guys have come such a far way from working minimum wage and having to pool money for a recording booth omg. i’m so proud of you guys 🥺

*liked by changeband.*

user5: the way guitarist is eating this album. whoever greenlit her guitar solos i want to kiss them on the mouth.

user28: bad friend is my fav! both the acoustic vers and the normal vers!! PUT UR HANDS UP IF UR NOT GOOD AT THIS STUFF!!!! 😍😍

liked by messyass1, messyass2 and 278,727 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: girl band CHANGE! have released their new album ‘babylon’ and it has sent twitter in flames after the first tweet (pictured above) went viral. especially after the songs ‘lie to me’ and ‘want u back’ both contain lyrics that have sent fans of the power couple lando norris and y/n l/n spiralling. what do you all think of the drama ham1ltons?

user1: i do think it’s slightly suspicious… not necessarily a break up confirmation but it’s interesting. especially as she didn’t even bother to confirm or deny whether or not they’re still together on jimmy fallon….

user2: why do we speculate into these celebs lives? if they broke up, who cares and if they’re together… who cares?

hater1: who gives a fuck. she can’t even sing.

-> user3: you clearly gaf if you’re commenting under y/n related posts???

loveislanduk: don’t worry y/n! if need be, you can always find a new man on the island!

-> user98: messy asf 😭

user6: is tkl supposed to be y/n talking about how lando was super adored and that although he could have any girl, she’d be the only one who really loved him?

-> user4: tokyo love hotel is a homage to drummer’s japanese heritage not a lando worship song?? also it’s a metaphor for their heritages as three of them are women of colour who grew up in the west and saw their cultures exoticised.

-> user6: ‘yeah your fascination is my world’. that could be interpreted as her saying ‘your obsession is my boyfriend’.

-> user4: girl yeah but that’d be a lazy one would it not? lando ain’t that special 😭 i think that it’s reductionist to make everything she writes about a man and not her.

user44: calling the album babylon after the bible story? maybe they started with the idea of creating this amazing relationship and then grew apart? they stopped speaking each other’s language?

-> user56: maybe you need to put this energy into analysing your resume and figuring out why you’re still unemployed….

user65: idc if she broke up with that troll because that’d mean drummery/n will thrive!!

-> user9: um… u mean guitaristy/n??

-> user34: both wrong. bassisty/n is the best version!!!

————————————————————————

CHANGE’S INTERVIEW W/ JIMMY FALLON (transcript)

JIMMY FALLON: welcome, everyone! we have a special treat for you tonight. please give it up for the current leaders of the world charts, the incredible band CHANGE!"

(audience applause as the girls take their seats)

FALLON: alright, alright! now, there have been some rumours swirling around about your latest album and its connection to some personal matters. especially in regards to y/n. care to shed some light on that?

Y/N: well, jimmy, first of all, thank you for having us. i’m aware that there have been some rumours, but you know how it is. people love to speculate. our music is definitely personal, and yeah, it does reflect some of what's been going on in my life but i want to set the record straight. the songs on our album are inspired by a variety of our experiences, including relationships, but they're not always directly about any specific individuals. sometimes i’m inspired by other forms of media or my loved ones’ experiences. that’s the joy of making art, it can be whatever you want.

DRUMMER: yeah, and y/n is such a talented songwriter. she has this incredible ability to channel her emotions into our music and make you feel whatever she wants.

BASSIST: exactly. we're just here to make music that connects with people, and if our songs happen to resonate with someone going through a breakup? then we've done our job.

FALLON: is it true that you’re performing two songs for us tonight? can you confirm which ones?

GUITARIST: yes! we’re performing ‘want u back’ and ‘frankenstein’. both of our newest singles from babylon.

FALLON: well, you heard them, folks! get ready for an amazing performance from CHANGE!

————————————————————————

liked by bassist, guitarist and 1,272,973 others.

yourusername: we’re fine y’all perfectly fine please don’t call paw patrol.

user1: OH THANK GOD.

landonorris: she’s lying. i’m in my lemonade era…🍋

-> user23: you wish you could be that iconic. you’re in your dogwater era.

-> landonorris: UNPROVOKED???

user3: we needed this confirmation.

user8: PARENTS AREN’T DIVORCED WE WON 🙌

landonorris: now can you release the bonus tracks please please please 🙏🏼 ‼️😩

-> bassist: no :)

-> guitarist: yes :)

-> drummer: one of them is lying… guess who and i’ll send the whole album plus excluded tracks.

-> landonorris: … um 😅 guitarist?

-> drummer: WRONG ‼️ but i’m scared you’re gonna complain to y/n so i’ll send them over to you 🙄

user27: at least we’re back to having lando being CHANGE!’s biggest fans. what did he think of ‘exile’?

-> yourusername: he cried so hard he threw up.

-> user27: real shit.

————————————————————————

taglist: @cuteskz @molten-m122 @dangeroustacoalienbiscuit @booksandflowrs @mxdi0 @k1arsworld @alexmarie29 @luckyladycreator2 @23victoria (let me know via ask if you’d like to be removed).

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sankatsuka · 3 months

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Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY Discussion - Reigniting The Passion Lost to Peer Pressure

Everyone wants to have a place to belong, where the hard work we pour into the things we love will be seen and appreciated by people. But what happens when you decide you will never find this place and resign yourself to a life of solitude, only to be proven wrong by a group of people who insist on your wholehearted hard work? And it only later dawns on you that you will someday have to part ways and you will lose the miraculous place you finally found.

This is what I like to think Rui Kamishiro encapsulates - the battle between being yourself and wanting a place to belong. How easy it is to get swayed from what you love when you think you've found this place and start to subconsciously dedicate your passion to this place instead, to the point that if you're not aware enough, you can forget the feelings in your original passion (resulting in the hesitation and doubt in Curtain Call). After all, nobody is the same, and if you focus too much of your passion on them, that passion becomes about them and not yourself. Ultimately, it is how not acknowledging a healthy boundary with people who are different from you can affect your passion (Shiho as a character is very integral to this).

Warnings:

I believe the entire WxS plot is meant to be misdirection.

Personal interpretation of Rui and several characters by inferring from text.

I believe Rui is a flawed person with no bad intentions, so there will be criticism of his character here. I really suggest turning away if it upsets you.

Spoilers for all WxS unit stories up till Backlit Lens Flare (as well as for Saki, Shiho, Akito, Mafuyu and Mizuki's characters up to their most recent stories)

Edit (11/2/2024): Made multiple edits as always, but biggest change is talking more about the foils in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Kitty's message. Edit (12/2/2024): Compulsory mention of Rui's mom and how he was set up for failure from way back then. Edit (12/2/2024): Expansion on the parallels between Rui and Mafuyu - what it is that makes them the CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Jackpot Sad Girl. And a summary on how three commission parallels supports this interpretation of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY about Rui's characters. Edit (13/2/2024): Lets add a bit more about how Resonate with You criticizes Rui's actions in Curtain Call. AND MANJI ALSO BEING A SLANG MEANING EXCITEMENT, STILL APPLIES TO TSUKASA IDC!!

Rui's character in the story starts off as someone who has thrown the part of himself who wants to have fun making things with people after being repeatedly let down by them. The early times with Wonderlands x Showtime helped him remember that desire from childhood to find a place that accepts that desire, that he criticizes Tsukasa for not appreciating WxS - for not realizing the best shows can't be accomplished without friends.

"--The best shows can't be done alone."

Following the fallout, Tsukasa and WxS' continued insistence and appreciation of him makes him start to see them as a place he can finally belong to. The place he's searched for for so long since childhood. That when he saw Tsukasa get hurt, he became swayed from doing the things he wanted to do for the first time and he hadn't even noticed it - because Tsukasa might leave him like his classmates had, so he has to hold back so as to not disappoint him further. This resulted in Tsukasa and Ruis second argument, with Tsukasa being angry at Rui for lying and holding back - which I later argue is the exact same feelings in his FUZAKERUNA in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

"This is surprising. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way." "Being afraid of losing your place, and then being unable to face the actors who seriously respond to you - this is a failing as a director."

However, this entire ordeal ended in Rui acknowledging his weakness, putting the whole deal behind them and moving on with the show, as KAITO advised. (Spoiler: it isn't weird at all to say that this happens again, with how he deals with it so indifferently like this.)

And then in Curtain Call, he becomes painfully aware that everyone may leave someday for their dreams--

"Someday, the day we will have to depart will come... For both me, and everyone."

Doesn't this just seem like a repeat of Halloween in a different way? He's scared they'll all leave him alone. One can say that Curtain Call ignited the exact same fear of being left alone and losing your place that Rui felt in Halloween - and his reaction feels exactly the same too: acknowledge it, put it behind you and move on to doing what is best for the best shows. After all, Rui lives for the best shows, because it is what makes him most happy - albeit Backlit Lens Flare suggests how he doesn't actually fully remember the joy and passion for shows he had as a child (discussed later). The best way to put it is - Rui feels like a walking corpse of his childhood.

Normally, when you realize this possibility of parting in the future, you talk to your friends about this (see: Saki Focus 3, Get Over It). But Rui refrains from talking to the people he should be talking to (WxS) and proceeds to go for the most obvious decision for his dream by joining Arklands. Only after Asahi turns him away does he go for the next obvious option he sees - the reckless decision that he would do everything in his power to achieve everyone's dreams together. And he can so confidently chase it because he's smart, only to be put down in Backlit Lens Flare lol.

Rui has really just been powering his way through the things he finds unpleasant, as KAITO had told him to in Halloween, ignoring the bad parts and doing everything for the sake for the best shows. You can really, really argue that KAITO's advice in Halloween seems very, very morally ambiguous now lol. He doesn't think ahead of what is the best choice and what would make him happiest - it's as if he's avoiding the very line of thought of how he would do post-WxS. Compared to Shiho in Focus 1, 'Resonate With You', who shows how she has thought it through and is happy enough just spending time with Leo/need for leisure - Rui doesn't even reach this line of thought of what happens next.

I think that he avoids thinking properly about these stuff because he wouldn't have a proper answer to it. Can he really trust Asahi when many other people have disappointed him after showing some interest before this? On the other hand, he's argued with Tsukasa twice and everyone is still enthusiastic - WxS is the only place he's ever felt secure.

"There were a few people who saw my ideas and said, 'it would be interesting if we could do it'." "But even those people gradually became reluctant with the more new ideas I brought to them."

It may generally be underestimated in the story just how much Rui doesn't inherently trust people and actors.

Even CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY begins with 'Nobody's listening anyway. Music's all just fashion, players leaving the field after devouring dead sounds one night.' which can be interpreted as people who became reluctant after they spent too long around Rui as he says to KAITO above, innit.

And then, Backlit Lens Flare happens and Rui encounters ??? (Sakaki). Sakaki immediately identifies the problem with Bakuno's acting, pinpointing it to the directors instead of the actor. Rui was not able to.

Remember, the freelance option isn't permanent - there's the possibility someone may be recruited away (It's a story for another day that he is only really worried about Tsukasa instead of the whole WxS but doesn't realize this). Rui paying attention to their growths first of all before his own is testament to how he's trying to make sure they quickly grow so they can achieve their dreams together:

"...It seems it became good stimulation for both of them right away." "...I also need to more proactively study from this opportunity."

So even now, Rui is more worried about WxS over himself. He prioritizes making sure they are getting something out of the freelancing gig over himself. Only after watching them was he stimulated to do his best too - and here comes the question, where did his drive to be proactive for his own passion go to?

Sakaki's ingenuity finally pops this question to Rui's mind. Had Rui's brain not been filled with the worry of losing his place, he may have been able to think more clearly and just as quickly reach the same conclusion as Sakaki. If he had been filled with thoughts of what was satisfying for himself instead of how he could stay with everyone, he may have been able to create a much better film (see: Shiho Focus 3, Stick to Your Faith). In fact, why is he even so bothered about falling behind Sakaki, when Rui isn't even an adult or a professional director himself?

It's not normal to be bothered about that: Nene was never hard on herself for not being as good as Kazamatsuri, because it's a given she's far away. But she does get upset with herself when she realizes she had looked down on Sakurako and naively seen her as an equal. You only react that way with people you see as equals if you're secure.

Perhaps, the passionate person Rui used to be would have admired Sakaki and want to learn from him out of a pure love for shows instead. And not be so bothered about how he was falling behind professionals.

We see Rui fail twice in the story: not figuring out the problem with the scene, and not thinking ahead of personalizing the script like Ohara had. (There is a third time too: how Tsukasa and WxS seem so moved by Bakuno's performance that Rui played no part in - meaning there are others who could easily replace him - if the emotions in this discussion hold true). And it's no wonder it would have him start questioning and blaming his obsession with WxS for it - if he had not been preoccupied with them, he may have avoided his failures altogether, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been this upset.

It's like a hit to his ego. Is how he's acting and behaving really the same boy who loved shows and would do anything for a show that would satisfy him?

Right now, it's as if Rui is trying hard to protect his position as a talented genius that surpasses everyone so WxS will need him for their dreams and want him around. No one can replace him; only he can achieve their dreams for them.

But Sakaki and Ohara prove him wrong.

The closing lines of Backlit Lens Flare, where he focuses on his own feelings towards directing instead of anything WxS learned, implies this self-realization of how he had been behaving. Rui is finally focused on himself.

"I'm disappointed that I didnt come up with this method, but strangely enough, I feel refreshed." "Directing... really is interesting."

FIRST UP. WHY DID YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH THE METHOD. SECONDLY, WHY ARE YOU REFRESHED. It makes sense to me as someone who's been carried away a lot: when you realize you lost sight of your original intentions and began worrying more about so many unnecessary things, you feel bitter at your mistake but relieved and refreshed you've finally been woken up.

To me, all of these feel like they're pointing to Rui being afraid of losing his place in WxS. So he has to be capable of solving everything, achieving everyone's dreams, so they will need him for it and they can keep staying this way. Before this, it seemed like a normal human emotion he had just never experienced before, but now, it's starting to show it's actually detrimenting his passion.

This is what I believe the theme of trends are playing into in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY - doing anything you can to make sure there will be people to hear and appreciate your music, and the spite in realizing you've lost yourself in that pursuit. Money is the artificial love you receive by catering to people so they would stay and listen to you. It's heartless, but following his character, it seems the crowd he's referring to is WxS. Because they have their strong individualistic dreams and just won't simply stay with him as he wants them to, he has to keep worrying about keeping up with them (Tsukasa mainly):

But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.

Loners=Rui Manji (a sign of good things to come)=Tsukasa (being surrounded by good luck charms; kanji 天 being associated with heaven; inviting Rui to WxS) (edit: manji is also a slang for excitement, which Tsukasa literally is for Rui) Gen Z=Nene (digital age, playing video games) Monkey=Emu (in Rui's picnic card and Emu in Sky's Edge)

(In NY2, Emu ended up drawing tons of big luck omikuji, and Tsukasa is surrounded by monkeys in Island Panic - so you can suggest their roles are reversed. But the robot monkey Tsukasa in picnic suggests Tsukasa isn't a real monkey.)

Curtain Call and Backlit Lens Flare together show how not addressing and expressing fears properly and simply moving on changes nothing. Self-awareness and powering through is useless advice - anyone who's had troubles with lovers, friends and family know you need to talk and accomodate each other. Or not, is it even feeling loved and cared anymore, isn't it just about control then?

In Resonate with You, Shiho makes Leo/need think through their choice to join her into becoming a professional, rather than accepting them right off the bat. She knows from her prior experience working with people that half-hearted musicians would only fail, suffer and drop out. It is only by Leo/need wholeheartedly declaring their intentions of facing music sincerely and seriously that Shiho is convinced that they can all do it together for sure. This is such a contrast to Rui in Curtain Call where he decides on his own that he will find a way for WxS to achieve their dream together, while barely thinking at all. And he winds up focusing so much on making sure WxS stays together. You need to think it through, face the future seriously and talk properly. NOT JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!

Or else you'll lose sight of your original motivation from focusing too much on things that don't really matter as much to you: you'll just end up half-hearted.

Further proof that Backlit Lens Flare is Rui's realization of his half-heartedness since Curtain Call, is that Tsukasa gets angry at him in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY like he does in Halloween. It isn't even a desperate shout to save someone - it's like a look of pure judgmental disappointment, as if they've been through this already. Stop lying.

He already shouted in anger in Halloween. If that didn't reach Rui, then there was no point in being all angry anymore.

Rui was repeating Halloween, trying so hard to protect the place he belongs to and forgot what he himself truly wants. From there, the lyrics in the entire CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are self-explanatory: what happened to the things you wanted to sing? (I was so happy with the lyrics because it was exactly what I was thinking in Curtain Call but no one seemed to care).

One thing you can never take away from Rui is that he is a very, very passionate guy. He loves what he does that he would spend every waking hour of his day working on it. Even if he's become a shell of his former self, his body is still naturally drawn to shows (Samsa Kanade reference heh). And Rui himself believes himself to be purely passionate too. So when he realizes that passion has been thoroughly dirtied, it makes sense he's as angry as he is in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

In Anni 2, Rui says he didn't know what he wanted to do like Mafuyu, but then he corrects himself to say he THOUGHT he knew.

"Actually, in the past, I didn't know what I wanted to do." "No... I should say that I thought I knew, but I actually didn't know at all."

For a brief moment, Rui thought he was just like Mafuyu with nothing to call his own. Until he quickly remembers that he did indeed have something he wanted to do, but claims to have been mistaken.

Why did you briefly relate to a girl who felt like she had nothing she wanted to do like everyone else, if that isn't a sign of his current state of mind - feeling like he has no dreams like WxS, and having to keep up with them so that he can feel like he belongs (discussed later in the parallels with Cinema). His lost passion became more evident at this point of the story.

If you 'thought you knew', then that means it was once a genuine feeling too. Even if you're alone, doing what you love is still fun - Shiho in her Focus 3, 'That Day, The Sky Was Far Away' demonstrates this. Although she had been let down by the bandmates, she was still fine alone because music made her feel better. And she even inspired Mihane because of her enthusiasm. After all, what you love to do should make you happy to some extent.

In comparison, Rui seems to have forgotten that shows were actually fun in middle school (probably because Stick to Your Faith never happened for him). When he approached Mizuki, he was standoffish and didn't think to introduce Mizuki to the fun of shows even when they expressed some interest in it. Probably because he couldn't even remember it himself. But being able to make that decision suggests he did still have some semblance of emotions that felt like shows were fun. Once again, a walking corpse of his chiildhood.

In the end, it's like he already lost this original joy for shows since middle school, and then grew even more confused about what made him happiest with the new joy he experienced after finding a place in WxS. He hasn't been able to wholeheartedly enjoy his passion because he's been continuously rejected, and he thought he was having fun when WxS accepted him - but in the end, that fun was from finally finding a place.

Update: Tetrad gives more implications of how Rui had gone astray post-Curtain Call. Tsukasa and Rui sing together, "We're facing the same direction", but Rui appears troubled. It's like Rui can't declare that he is chasing his dreams as confidently as the rest of WxS. Deep down, a part of him probably knew this even before Backlit Lens Flare happened but was afraid of facing it.

I would further go on to associate CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY to both Kitty and Cinema which its imagery resembles. The card set takes place in Shibuya where Kitty takes place in, and Cinema uses the same director's cut + Tsukasa's trained card directly mentions Cinema on the billboard.

There's also the naming that is clearly based on Jackpot Sad Girl - which I think just goes to highlight how both Rui and Mafuyu have the power through it mindset that it lands them dead and sad respectively: people need to reconcile their differences with others to truly love and feel alive (Rui) and people can't endure stress for too long without getting depressed (Mafuyu). Both ignored their human needs and thus this is where they wound up.

The parallel with Kitty feels like it's also within the overall messaging - how facing things can lead to losing yourself even more when you aren't mentally prepared and have no clear-cut answer (sounds similar to what Rui carelessly did in Curtain Call, doesn't it?). In Mafuyu's case, she seemed about ready to change herself again to please her mother, and in Mizuki's case, opening up to Niigo would make them more sensitive to what they say and probably even change themselves so as to not be left alone. Mizuki has even expressed this sentiment once by dressing as a boy in middle school, when they already knew they loved cute things since childhood and was even reaffirmed by their sister.

In Our Survival and Escape, the point is made that it's BECAUSE Mizuki never opened up to Niigo that they were able to protect their heart. Compare this to Rui, who bore everything about himself to WxS by not holding back with his performances and past and thus gained their unconditional acceptance. As a result, he becomes swayed by them when he realizes that things would come to an end and becomes preoccupied with stopping it even at the cost of himself - his passion. If Mizuki had similarly put their utmost trust in Niigo like this, it wouldn't be surprising either if they quickly get swayed to stop expressing themselves too if one of them ever expressed dismay (hinting that they would leave).

Thus, in order to find the answer to real love, you have to protect your heart first, even if it means running away and distancing yourself from others (Kitty). But unlike Mizuki, Rui was taught from childhood to simply not care about what people say, so he has never been aware of just how much words can affect you (compare the advice Mizuki's sister and Rui's mom gave them: completely different). This winds him up in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY, where he's unknowingly adjusting himself for WxS to not leave him.

As for Cinema, both songs capture how Akito and Rui's struggles and fears at the time feel like the exact same - being left behind and losing your place because you weren't enough, to the point of losing who you really are (Akito pushing himself to be passionate to match everyone else, Rui falling into the trap of peer pressure to match everyone else. What they envy in 'everyone else' is how they want things that Akito and Rui don't feel like they really care about and view as meaningless. But in truth, they don't care about it only because they're more concerned about belonging - they've always had it deep down in them.).

But in Akito's case, VIVID BAD SQUAD directly reaches out for him when he pushes himself far too much and forces himself to suffer to make up for his lack of talent. That's why Akito is reassured that even at his weakest and most pathetic, there will be people there who refuse to leave him alone. So Cinema feels like Akito freely lamenting on how he's different from the people, that he can't keep up with them, but with VBS by his side, he feels like it's fine to find and pursue who he truly is.

On the other hand, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels like Rui's suppressed spite from having to keep up with WxS in order to not be left alone. Because everyone else will betray him, it has to be and can only be WxS who've endured him until now. It's the first time he found people who would stay, so he's desperate not to lose them that he would subconsciously change himself so he can keep matching their needs. And the realization makes him spiteful, because he's lost what was fun for him from that need to change for others to stay. And he's left to stay lost to the very end, because the only way right now for him to be himself and stop worrying is by others matching him instead, but there is no way to 100% control people - compared to Akito who found his answer by coming to terms with the impossibility to control yourself to be someone else. Because VBS was there to accept him as he was when he was trying so hard to be someone else.

Rui will probably eventually realize he has to just accept he's lost his passion from the fear of being alone and stop lamenting controlling everything around him, once he gets tired of it and reaches his limit like Akito in Stray Bad Dogs.

Suddenly everyone started up onto a nonsense scenario (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

It's just like a movie, exactly like a movie. (But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.)

No matter where you go, there's a story. (Just give me a punchline, its meaning can be whatever.)

Cinema and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are like the perspectives of two boys who feel like outsiders to the world, but one is actively trying change himself to belong somewhere and the other finds himself suddenly facing peer pressure when he used to not care about belonging somewhere. It's even contrasted in Akito's customer service front and Rui's indifference to school terrorism that they are foils of one another in a society. And probably why Akito hates Rui too - for taking any means necessary to achieve what he wants without a care for people, when Akito has spent his life working hard to be equals to people in order to belong.

[More similarities in lyrics, in no particular order (CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY in brackets):

Traffic’s already jammed up now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” "What was it supposed to be like then?" (What happened to things you wanted to sing about?)

Back then I'm sure it was there. The thing that I envisioned was there. When was it that I... (There must have been something you wanted to sing about.)

What are you playing at? Who are you trying to be? There's no way you could be that, right? (At this rate this will never end. What you want definitely isn't money.)]

Maybe it's coincidence, but the lyrics in Cinema also reference Curtain Call very early on:

Someday it'll be bye-bye when the end comes, so Smile for the curtain call and applause.

Cinema is accepting of it and faces it head-on. Rui still avoids it.

And Cinema also captured what happened in Backlit Lens Flare with Bakuno. Something Rui couldn't figure out on his own without Sakaki and Emu:

If you're not suited for the role, Then just rewrite the script!

This is as if implying Akito realizes early on that people are all different, and there may come a time you have to part because of your differences. So you don't have to keep worrying about fitting in - try your best to be yourself instead and smile when it all ends.

This is something that Rui hasn't faced at all, so it's pretty meta that he hadn't thought of matching the actor's individualities. It seems he's lived with the belief that directors have to adjust themselves according to the level they believe the actors are on and actors have to work their hardest to live up to the director's wishes at all times - because the director knows best. Instead of truly understanding their actors for who they are as individuals and what they individually need.

"I always try to cast actors in a way that brings out their strengths." "That's why I always get you to play the role of a type that is easiest for you to match."

And this becomes a regret for Rui in the same story - realizing that he hadn't thought enough about what Tsukasa really wanted and needed.

"...I feel a little regretful that I hadn't thought that far."

Nene's surprise at Rui's words further imply that this isn't how he normally is. That he wouldn't be thinking so much about people and their personal needs.

It isn't therefore surprising that he agrees with and commits to the mindset that he has to power through his emotions without speaking to anyone. He expects that from his actors, and applying it to real life, it means that your role and scenario have already been decided from birth and what was left was living up to it. It's frighteningly similar to the lyrics in Engeki, which I wasn't even thinking about. Except it wasn't forced on him but rather something Rui decided on his own, with no harmful intent from the people who fed that mindset. Even before KAITO - it was his mother who unknowingly instilled this in him:

"People are people, I am myself. If you take care of what you like, someday you'll be able to make friends too. Like how I met your dad." (i.e. don't bother with the painful things around you, just keep doing what you do and keep going until you get there.)

And hence why this commission is full of firey anger. The story tramples on the way Rui has lived until now, proving him wrong when he thought he finally found his answer by powering through his fear of losing WxS. How it made him realize that he had at some point been driven by something petty like being with friends forever and lost the passionate part of him, the one who would do anything to satisfy himself. He's realized he's no longer having fun like the child he used to be, evident from the lyrics that start off with how he no longer has anything he wants to convey.

"Now let's all laugh. Aren't views more important than art? A terrible price for the virus. So what will you do? Is that really fine?" The lyrics are as if Rui is finally realizing that everything he's been doing, making people smile up until now, has been just for views (for WxS to stay around), and it finally makes him question, is this what he really wants??? Where did all the passion, fun and self-satisfaction that he thought he was making shows for went to???

(This is a more literal translation, the popular TL translates it as Then what do we do? Was that how it was supposed to go?)

I don't know if it's clear now - but in conclusion, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels very much like Rui realizing how he was more focused on protecting his place over enjoying what he does. The first lines of the song do seem to be screaming a spitefulness in not being able to just do what you enjoy: "No one wants to listen (...), I don't have anything I want to convey (...)"

That's why CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY is an ironic name, appearing on the director's cut to imply they're filming a movie of Rui's life. How Rui had been living dead against his own self - falling victim to peer pressure (trends) to protect his place in WxS. Until Sakaki reminds him of the heights his true self wanted to reach and reignites the passionate fire for theatre inside him.

In summary, to simplify it, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY's parallels come together to tell a complete story about Rui Kamishiro (biased but idc): 1) Jackpot Sad Girl: The unhealthiness of Rui and Mafuyu's mindset of powering through what they think they want without properly talking to people. 2) Kitty: How putting your trust in people can sway your heart and steer you away from what you truly want, something Mizuki knows and thus avoids but not Rui. 3) Cinema: A combination of Jackpot Sad Girl and Kitty - how a person with Rui's mindset is left feeling angry and confused when realizing he has lost himself from having his heart unexpectedly swayed by people. This is foiled by a complete opposite like Akito who has lived a life with no reason to truly call his own and is bitterly aware of how it is all because his life has always been completely defined by other people.

(Man, I LOVE the Cinema foils so much. Akito and Rui are such perfect opposites I LOVE THEM.)

And finally, from the end of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY:

Devoid of soul, music remains silent Unheard lyrics conceal their essence; without playback, music loses its meaning. Thus, modern music is pronounced deceased.

YES. YES. DEVOID OF SOUL AS I SAID, HOW RUI KAMISHIRO FEELS LIKE A WALKING CORPSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD. PLAYBACK!!! LOOK BACK AT YOUR PAST AND FIND YOURSELF!!! REMEMBER THE JOY AND PASSION YOU CAN'T GIVE UP RUI-KUN!!! Stop trying to keep people around, face solitude and be brave: what's most important is to be yourself!

Backlit Lens Flare felt like a reawakening for Rui, and it's why it's one of the best stories alongside Pandemonium for me. If Tsukasa is completely avoidant, then Rui is full of blatant lies. But of course because the writers will never clearly describe the emotions in WxS stories, I can't confirm this is the intended interpretation. It's just my own personal interpretation that I enjoy best and makes most emotional sense to my personal experiences.

But my opinions are bound to change because there are soooo many ways of seeing things. For now, this is what I think of Rui Kamishiro in Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

#project sekai #rui kamishiro #kamishiro rui #wonderlands x showtime #wxs #it's so difficult to talk about rui #i do kinda get how this feels but i guess it's hard to put into words because of how dull the feeling is and you don't even know its there #until you do something thats out of character for yourself #someone whos always trying to convince themselves they dont care when people hurt them will get it #ok i take back my comments on the popular tl of cyberpunk dead boy being biased its just difficult to translate lol #rui is literally set for failure and doomed by the narrative #im sorry i keep editing i just find it so hard to put my thoughts about rui into words

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ilovebeingt4t · 7 months

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a (not) little rant about total drama’s portrayal of dissociative identity disorder in ROTI and AS

a few little tidbits before we get into the juice…

-i don’t have DID ! i have a dissociation disorder and i’ve done a lot of research on DID, but that obviously doesn’t mean i know as much as someone in a system would. if i make any mistakes or you want to add/correct anything, please do !

-since there isn’t an official name for the system as a whole, i’m gonna use “mike system” to refer to mike, chester, svetlana, vito, manitoba, and mal as a system

-before anyone says it, i know it’s “just a kids’ show” but it’s a kids’ show i’m insane and not normal about. so i’m very passionate about this. also kids’ shows should still be normal about mental illnesses/disabilities so idc

alright stinkers… let’s get into it

ok ! mike systems DID in ROTI isn’t GOOD representation but it isn’t like. the worst out there compared to some other media. some huge positives are the way the alters have actual triggers, and that everyone in the system IS portrayed as their own person, not just an extension or part of mike. i interpret the “gasp” the body does with switches as a stand in for dissociation (since they couldn’t really have him just sit there and stare into space bc of plot/time reasons) and it’s very easy to assume the role of everyone in the system from their personalities and triggers. the best example of this to me is vito ! vito is a “tough guy” who’s triggered to front by his shirt coming off, it’s easy to put the pieces together and assume his role is a protector who formed due to sexual abuse.

obviously, the use of the outdated term multiple personality disorder, the very quick switches, the fact the writers obviously did not actually research DID and just wanted a silly crazy character, and probably more i’m forgetting rn, are NOT issues to just ignore because of the good stuff. it’s definitely NOT good or super accurate representation by any means, but i don’t think it’s exactly super bad either. it’s iffy but has redeeming qualities to it.

another plus about mike system in ROTI, even though this isn’t really part of the portrayal of DID as a disorder, is that mike has a love interest that isn’t written as a joke. i feel like having mike in a romantic relationship is a BIG positive representation wise. it’s really important to me that even though zoey is confused and weirded out when she didn’t know what was going on, once she found out mike was part of a system she became more understanding and didn’t give up on him. being part of a system doesn’t mean you can’t have a partner, friends, etc and mike being in a wholesome healthy relationship is a nice breath of fresh air compared to other media portraying DID.

NOW. LETS ADDRESS MAL AND ALL STARS. GOOD LORD.

all stars has an issue with watering down characters and making poor plot/character choices in general, and in my opinion it’s the worst with mike system. ROTI had questionable at times but ok DID rep with mike system, which is why it’s so disappointing that AS took the “evil alter” route and whatever the hell the button thing was… bc they were SO close with having ok representation and then they threw it all away for an overdone and harmful stereotype. mike system in ROTI is a MASTERPIECE compared to whatever the hell was going on in AS.

even when you take into account that in a real life system, mal is most similar to the role of a persecutor (an alter who sabotages the body’s relationships and causes harm to the body/other alters as a way to “protect” everyone in their eyes (oops ! i was wrong. a persecutor isn’t always a protector, however they can take the role of a persecutor and protector which is where i got confused. mal is a both a persecutor and protector to me)) which makes SOME of his actions explainable TO AN EXTENT, it’s clear the writers didn’t have that intent and just wanted a spooky evil alter, which is really disappointing. along with the button issue, which is just…. so insane….

i choose to believe for my own sanity that the button was sort of an emergency temporary dormancy button and that chester fr just lied/didn’t know and made something up. but that obviously isn’t canon, and IN CANON the body’s trauma and serious disorder was literally gone because of the PRESS OF A BUTTON and it is absolutely ridiculous. and it’s portrayed as a GOOD THING.

systems are systems because it is the only way the body and brain can maintain stability and live after serious repeated trauma. in a real situation with a system, if there was somehow a way to get rid of alters in literal seconds, the consequences would be ABSOLUTELY DISASTROUS and unstable. obviously, integration and dormancy CAN be a good thing depending on the system, but it is a LOOONG and complicated process and watering it down to the press of a button in your brain is so inappropriate and insensitive. literally why did they do that. it’s just so disappointing to go from what mike system was in roti to what they became in all stars.

sorry u guys i am just passionate about this

#total drama #total drama revenge of the island #total drama all stars #td mike #td mike system #td mal #tdroti #tdas #chester svetlana vito manitoba #are mentioned briefly #sorry for being insane about this #dissociative identity disorder #keeb goes mad about total drama

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ben-wisehart · 1 year

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hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹

i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭

(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)

hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!

But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you’ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.

I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.

Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.

To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.

And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).

but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!

#svsss meta #anonymous #askbox #thank you for sharing your thoughts!! im sorry it took ages to reply #and that I mostly went on a tangent. again. idk what I'm saying half the time

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isabelguerra · 1 year

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@nbrights claus you are such an mvp congrats on getting your url back.

i AM #1 isabel fan but i am and always will be the #not1butstillprettyupthere max fan. max puckett is up there as one of my favorite protagonists of all time and i feel like so much of what makes max interesting either A) gets pushed aside in fandom for the sake of shipping b) get pushed aside in canon for the sake of snappy writing.

i love how fiercely protective he can be while doubling as a massive coward in the right situation. hes guarded and untrusting and makes snap judgements of people to keep up his Cool Guy Aloof New Kid schtick but risks his life for isabel after only three? ish? days of knowing her. and then CONTINUES to not take shit. he calls people out when something happens that bothers him- not to start a fight, but as a verbal acknowledgment that he’s not gonna stand around passively when he hears some fucked shot going down. and he doesn’t hold grudges! except his bat he points stuff out and then proceeds to get over it immediately because its a pain in the ass but not enough to make him waste his own time thinking about it.

i think max and isabel are so sooo good for each other theyre like soulmates that were never supposed to meet to me. interpret that statement however u want. idc what kind of relationship they have their dynamic transcends it all imo theyre each others Person. they Get It. and they know each other. max got thrown out of a train protecting isabel. isabel threw herself out of a train to protect max. and 20 minutes prior they were sitting in complete bored silence completely apathetic towards each other. THATS nuts 2 me. thats the shit that gets me.

max is a physical badass (gymnastics, hitball, spirits sometimes, broke his arm to protect johnny) but hes SUUUUUCH a massive coward he like gives in IMMEDIATELY if he gauges a situation as ‘not worth it’ (tells suzy the true nature of the AC after minimal prodding just bc he wanted to get away from her freak ass, ditched serge in the hallway because he couldn’t be bothered to listen to his student counsel talk). ed thinks hes a coward (accurate) and that isabel started hanging with max because max is not a coward (inaccurate) but max has more self preservation (dont look at what i just wrote about breaking his arm its an outlier) than almost anyone in the comic.

he’s a good protagonist because he offers a straight man for mayviews wackyness to bounce off of, which in comparison makes him the cynic, but he’s also usually genuinely really nice and encouraging to people he just meets (alex and the recorder, giving pj pep talks). he never lets his cynicism turn him into a jerk, hes just sarcastic and doesn’t take bullshit lying down. i wrote something on this earlier that i don’t remember well enough to reiterate here but i will ALWAYS be a max puckett fan. when i was 16 i shaved my head and after doodling myself someone reblogged it tagged as #max puckett so now we have an Assigned Kinship At Reblog (AKAR) blood bond

#this was so clever getting me to talk character analysis. thanks man #paranatural #maxwell puckett #replies #nbrights

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groven4 · 1 year

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Markiplier Egos with an Aromantic DA / Viewer

a/n: I randomly decided I really wanna get something out for aro week, so I've got a oneshot mayhaps involving a certain adventurer in the works, but knowing me that might take a while (if I even finish it all) and these tend to be easier for me. So, that's why this exists...not that you asked.

(edit: made one for Ace hcs.)

WILFORD WARFSTACHE

He wouldn't really care, but in like a supportive way.

He may not look like it, but the guy's got some common sense.

I can't see him as the type to ask a lot of questions especially if you're visibly uncomfortable around the topic. (tho ig he might if it's for an interview, not sure)

A big part of Wil's character is just accepting shit as it is and not questioning what you can't understand because falling down that spiral is ultimately unhealthy; so if you were to come out to him as any sexuality/gender identity, he'd most likely just accept you immediately and move one.

Expect to receive a lot of aro themed stickers on pride month though.

DARKIPLIER

Also doesn't care, but it's less him being supportive (tho he is) and more: it doesn't affect him, so why should he care?

Like you do you. Your love life is none of his business.

Quite frankly, he couldn't give a shit.

Though, he might find some relatability with you.

Despite how one might interpret ADWM, I cannot see Dark as an entity with the capability to feel much of anything. (other than rage, vengefulness, etc.)

There are some vague memories of past feelings from both Celine and Damien (and possibly the house entity, idk) mostly shown through his clear favoritism for Wil.

However, I don't think he really can feel romantic feelings, nor does he want to.

Being loved sounds nice, but ultimately it would just get in the way.

So having someone around that's kind of like him in that regard is almost nice...cathartic even.

You both like to watch 'marriage gameshows' (the bachelor, love is blind, etc.) over wine and laugh about how you'll never have to deal with relationship problems. (idc if that one's ooc)

GOOGLEPLIER

He can't really feel romantic attraction himself, yk being a robot and all.

If you tried explaining aromanticism to him he'd probably just be like: "Yeah, and??".

He's supportive in a sense, that sense being: you not having a partner would mean one less meat sack he has to deal with once he manages to get admin privileges.

BINGIPLIER

Kinda stumped on this one ngl.

I just can't find a reason why he'd care whatsoever.

He'd just be like: "Oh...siiiick, brah." with total Bill and Ted energy.

ACTOR

(edit: this is pre-wkm btw. idk why I did that, it doesn't really fit with the others that way. so I probably won't do it again in future hcs. sorry ig.)

I imagine it comes up at a party.

He starts asking you about your love life.

You tell him that you've never really been interested in that kind of stuff, and you probably never will.

What does he do?

...

He calls you boring.

...

AND THEN JUST FUCKIN' WALKS AWAY- like- ????

In all seriousness, he's mostly chill about it throughout your friendship, but it's hard for me not to picture him as the type to think you're just being naive and that 'everyone has to find someone someday'. (I believe WKM takes place in the 1920s, so like, what were you expecting?)

That is until Celine cheats on him.

It was just such a world shattering thing for him, he genuinely loved her more than anything.

It's not a complete 180°, he doesn't suddenly understand your lack of attraction from this, but one night you check in with him to find him wasted in his wine cellar and he's basically like: "You had it right all along, my friend. Love...Love is not for everyone. ...Certainly not the faint of heart."

Which like, you didn't choose this, but you were more focused on making sure he was okay at the time to care.

YANCY

A part of me wants to think he'd be a little confused at first just cause the idea of having to explain aromanticism and/or asexuality to him because he's just genuinely curious is really adorable to me.

However, the rest of me refuses to believe his friend group isn't entirely comprised of both people in the lgbtq+ community and hardcore allies who would happily beat the shit out of aphobes on a daily basis.

Not to say that they think of you as child-like because of your sexuality, but it's a prison family and you're 'fresh meat' so you're their little aro-bean now whether you like it or not.

Yancy especially is protective of you in an almost older brother type way.

So if after/during coming out to them (or just him) you mention how scared you were/are because you've had a lot of bad experiences or something, he's like constantly ready to sucker punch and/or ballerina kick anyone giving you flack over just being who you are.

He's always willing to tell you how valid you are when you need to hear it, and overall is just a really great friend.

...Even with the stabbing.

ILLINOIS

In an odd way, he almost feels...relieved?

Call it a humble brag, but literally all of his past work partners had fallen in love with him at some point, and while the attention certainly feeds his ego, that kinda thing just gets tired and even annoying after a while.

So knowing that'll never happen with you is actually a nice break from what he's grown so used to.

He's never had someone around who genuinely enjoys adventuring as much as he does.

And who isn't like constantly ogling him. (I mean probably anyway, idk what it's like to be aroallo)

Having you around may also cause him to start questioning some things about himself, particularly when you're explaining your orientation.

But that's a topic we'll be getting into at another time! (*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* *stares at empty draft*)

He's still used to trying to fluster people cause he finds it funny and in general is just the kind of person to be a bit touchy with his friends (meaning: platonic hand holding, hugs, head/back pats, standing weirdly close a lot of the time just naturally, etc.), so if you're ever uncomfortable just tell him and he'll cut it out straight away.

You're both just kinda really good friends, and he's not at all weird about it like you thought he might be.

CAPTAIN MAGNUM

Supportive Pirate Dad! 10/10!

You definitely have to explain what it means to him, but he verbally accepted you before he even asked.

Kinda like: "That's great!...What is it?-"

Would have the crew sew you a flag if it would make you happy.

They are still pirates who have been sailing across the deep blue their whole lives with presumably no contact with the mainland however.

So unless you for some fuckin reason told them what it looks like, you can expect to receive a relatively small, plain black flag with the word 'Arrowmantik.' spelled incorrectly and somehow sewn on in perfect white Helvetica.

...

You hung the flag right above your hammock.

It is your most prized possession.

HEAD ENGINEER

Might be a little discouraged at first. His crush on you was a tad obvious.

But he figures it's for the best. You are the captain after all. Pursuing that relationship wouldn't have been professional in the slightest.

It does take a bit but he gets over it eventually.

He still genuinely loves you platonically/as a person, so things don't really change all that much.

You still have a strong friendship and work really well together.

He tends to go a bit overboard now about giving you personal space cause he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. So you may have to reassure him multiple times if it wasn't an issue.

During when pride month would be on earth he might gift you little aro themed stuff, like a patch you can't actually add to your uniform for work reasons but love and appreciate anyway.

He may not fully understand how you feel, but he never stops trying to, and either way he's always gonna support you no matter what.

Your orientation could never change how much he loves and trusts you both as a captain and as his friend.

MURDOCK

He doesn't really care since it doesn't affect what you guys do, though he is openly accepting, especially if it seemed like you needed to hear that it wasn't something that bothered him.

In a similar vein to Illinois, he's strangely grateful.

He's not sure how he would've dealt with the situation had you developed a crush on him. Such emotions tend to get in the way more often than not in his line of work.

He didn't wanna have to kill you just to make his life easier. Taking a life out of necessity isn't as much fun, plus he'd grown a tad fond of you.

I like to think he cares quite a bit about your mental health, it would make sense given the whole murder thing.

So if you often go through periods of doubt or even internalized self hatred regarding being aromantic, he's gonna be there to help you through it.

He goes with you to pride parades and if anyone tries to tell you that you don't belong there, they're immediately getting put on a black list.

He got you a nifty little keychain once while you were there.

Overall, surprisingly wholesome.

a/n: I went back and forth on whether or not I was gonna use the pronouns I hc them all as using, but in the end I just said 'fuck it, appeal to general audiences, why not at this point'. I'm really fuckin' tired, dude. Just- HAPPY ARO WEEK! ig.

#markiplier egos & reader #wilford warfstache & reader #darkiplier & reader #googleplier & reader #bingiplier & reader #actor mark & reader #yancy & reader #ahwm yancy & reader #illinois & reader #ahwm illinois & reader #captain magnum & reader #ahwm captain magnum & reader #head engineer mark & reader #murderplier & reader #iswm murderplier & reader #iswm murdock & reader #aromantic reader #aro week

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softlyapocalytpic · 1 year

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Deacon

My interpretation of Deacon is very much in the camp of, “every good lie has a seed of truth”. Got no idea if that what makes a good lie, but I think it’s a fun story telling device so idc. I never want to take away from him being a liar because it feels like it’d be a disservice to his character, but from his dialogue it feels like there’s always that grain of truth. Rather than just flat out lies, he twists the truth. The only time it ever feels flat out is when you’re supposed to doubt him, (like that he’s been to Greenland or played cards with Mr. House). It’s wacky, outlandish, and he plays it straight because that’s apart of the joke.

Because at his heart he’s a goofball! I think that Deacon shows more of who he truly is than he realizes by the mere fact that he doesn’t really know who that is anymore. If you spend sometime time as the lie, when does it become the truth?

He’s so edgy in own head, but I think that his true colors show from his actions which are usually spent either a) protecting the people he loves, or b) keeping their spirits high. He may be cynical, but he doesn’t want to be. He admires optimism and hope and surrounds himself in it, and I think some of it rubs off on him when he isn’t looking.

How can he not? The way that I can hear his voice SPARKLE after you blow up the Institute… Like the whole world has just taken on a new brighter shade. But also the way that he fights, and he fights, and he fights even in the darkest hours of the Railroad. At times I think he feels beaten down and broken, like he couldn’t get up again, but then he looks at these beacons of hope like Dez, Glory, and everyone else and he can’t help it! While he definitely has the “man loses last bit hope he didn’t know he had” moment, he doesn’t stay in the darkness. He’s magnetized to the light. Something something a lantern in the dark hehe.

Piper

I’ve fallen in love a little bit with almost all of the Fallout 4 companions, and Piper is the latest 💞. I made a conscious effort to spend more time with her on my survival play through and she’s just so charming. Bethesda knew what they were doing and they got my pansexual ass hook, line, and sinker. She’s sweet, and awkward, and passionate, and quirky, and goofy, and driven. What’s there not love?

I think my Piper is definitely a reflection of what I’m feeling like in my early twenties, except a more fantasized “country girl in the big apple vibes” version. Life is an adventure, and oh fuck being an adult with responsibility is difficult. I care so much about my community yet feel so isolated for one reason or the other. She’s fighting for justice but doesn’t have it all together yet. She trips, stumbles, and is learning.

I think the biggest roadblock for loving her character had been the contradiction of being ostensibly pro-synth but also lambasting McDonough for being a synth publicly. However, when I took a look at that as a character arc I really began to appreciate her!

Piper’s point was never to promote synth hate, and I’m so compelled by her grappling and dealing with the fact that she did. That her constant strive to deliver the unabashed truth, along with her (rightful) disdain of McDonough as a person meant that she helped the paranoia. That she made synths the bad guys rather than the Institute at large. Her seeing the toll of a full out war with propaganda from all sides, and developing another layer to her belief system. An awareness of her words and how they effect people.

Cait

I know that for some character arcs it’s about learning to be okay in your own body, on your own, but it’s SO important to me that Cait ends her story with someone absolutely smitten for her. It doesn’t matter the gender (although I’m personally partial to a girlfriend for her), she needs someone to hold her. To be patient with her. To call her out on her shit when she’s being dumb, and stand by her through the roughest parts of her journey. I want her to feel warm, and safe, and held and to be surrounded by people who love and appreciate her.

Also want her to have a complicated relationship with drugs that isn’t easy, but that she feels like she has agency and choice over. That she doesn’t need to feel ashamed for her drug use! That sure she’s got baggage but she’s so worth carrying it. I want Cait to live an easy breezy life where she’s surrounded by laughter.

(Man I guess this was less meta and more me wanting to give Cait nice things lmao).

In such a bad mood after reading something that I won’t say more about because I don’t care for engaging in internet discourse! So instead I wanna post something positive! These are just some thoughts on a couple of the companions. Definitely not the full breadth of my thoughts, but I’m kinda just not in the mood to be critical right now. Just need something good to cheer me up. Hope it can do the same for you!

My interpretations generally tend towards the sweeter more optimistic end, and I’m aware of that. But I stand by them none-the-less. I want the wasteland to become a softer place, not a harder one, and I think that while characters start out in dark places they can be lifted out of that. Fallout already spends so much time really showing off the depths of the horrors of humanity and I think that it needs to foster hope. Hope and growth give meaning to the struggle. The violence may be pointless but then we can choose to be different. Idk y’all it’s nearly two in the morning and I just want some feel goods after being absolutely STEAMED.

If you wanna join in on the fun and add your own thoughts I’d love to hear them. About these guys or any others. I just picked a random three myself. It can be angsty! I just ask to keep things respectful and compassionate in how you talk about it.

#fallout 4 #fallout 4 deacon #fallout 4 cait #piper wright #headcanons #meta #my hopes and dreams

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the-force-awakens · 2 years

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Hiya there sweets!! ♡´･ᴗ･`♡ I was wondering if you were still accepting requests (if not pls ignore this ask <3) 👉👈

❛ let’s go somewhere, just you and me. ❜ with one of the moon boys (idc which/or all) x gn!reader

Thank you! *mwuah*

gender neutral reader (no pronouns), back on my rooftop conversation bullshit, hurt/comfort, went with steven & a smidgen of marc! both reader & the sys is autistic 🤗 reader could be interpreted as going into a shutdown. 1000+ words.

You were doing better than you'd been in months. Really, you were: you woke up every morning willing to get out of bed, eager for that first cup of tea, for the spring to inevitably reach your step when you hit the play button on Spotify for your favorite songs.

And it wasn't as if today was a bad day, even. It was good, albeit rainy. But for some reason, by the time the sun was gone and replaced by the moon - half hidden behind clouds - your mood had withered too.

It wasn't as clear cut as you were angry or even sad, it was just the sense of unease that came from a lot of change in a short amount of time. It was the disappointment that came with some of those changes and losses, in the way the last year had changed yourself.

That, more than anything, weighed a great deal on you tonight than it had in a while and you weren't sure what prompted it.

It hadn't seeped far enough that it fractured your outward cheerfulness though. One of your neighbors that you passed on the way into your building commented on how much happier you seemed of late and you'd politely smiled and agreed — because it was true, overall. Just not today.

It did not, however, fool your neighbor: Steven Grant of flat 502, basically a historian wrapped up as a gift shoptist, and one of your few real friends since your move to London.

Well, one of your few real friends in general, anymore.

The second you'd ended up on the same elevator (lift, Steven corrected you gently, then nudged your elbow with his and assured you Marc refused to call it that either), his eyebrows furrowed as he registered that something was wrong.

Which was how, after dropping your things off at your flat, you wound up on the rooftop with Steven as he spoke rapidly, eyes lit up, "Now you might want to close your eyes for this next bit, I'll let Marc take the reins on this one, I'm not a big fan of heights — oh, the old pigeon isn't going to like this one bit.”

You can't help but notice that he doesn't sound the least bit remorseful about it either.

You end up taking Steven's advice and cling for dear life to Marc, even though his embrace is solid and firm and you know he'd never drop you in a million years.

London becomes a blur underneath you, the wind howling against your ears, and more than once you hear Marc grunt something close to a soft laugh beneath the mask and you wonder if Khonshu is - as Steven predicted - griping about how they're using his powers for the evening.

And despite the height and anxiety that something will go horribly wrong and you'll both fall from the sky, you can't help but feel lighter than you have all evening. Like you left everything behind when the two of you took flight.

When Marc lands, it's a little off kilter because of your differing heights but it isn't painful either (he triple checks), and follows you silently to the edge of the new rooftop. Across the way is St Paul's Cathedral, backlit by the full moon.

“Steven thought going somewhere, just the two of you, might…help,” Marc offers after a minute of silence.

You glance over at him. “You're leaving?”

His expression softens with concern, eyebrows lowering even more than they normally set, over the anxiety you weren't able to hide from your voice. “Just for now. I'll stay when you need a ride home, if you want.”

You nod once and his lips twitch briefly into a near smile, which falls when Steven fronts once more. He blinks a little, taken aback by the way your face has fallen in the last few minutes and steps forward. "What's the matter, love?”

You give a half-hearted shrug and stumble into him, pressing your face into his chest. His arms twine around you, pulling you closer and you feel the inane urge to cry over how safe you feel, how much stability these three men bring to your otherwise unbalanced life.

And before you know it, you're blubbering out confessions you hadn't even fully processed yourself while Steven holds and soothes you, rubbing gentle circles against your back: about how lonely you sometimes feel, how afraid you are of everything changing so much and especially recently. How you're worried the only reliable things in your life will disappear soon too, leaving you alone.

“Hey, you're not alone. You've got me and Marc and Jake too. You've got your friends, you've got -” he taps your forehead - "all the worlds you keep stored up in here.”

“But what if I lose all those things?”

"What if you don't?” Steven rejoins gently, swiping away some of the tears that have tracked down your cheeks. “Maybe you'll lose some of those eventually, but all at once? I don't think so.”

You drop your gaze from his face - so open and earnest and friendly. “Sometimes it's hard to believe that when it gets…noisy.”

“The brain can be a right twit sometimes,” Steven agrees, pressing a featherlight kiss to your forehead that has no business making your stomach flip the way it does. “But that particular voice that keeps on telling you this is more than a little dodgy.”

You can't help but snort a laugh at that, even though you know he's right. "I think that's being too polite.”

"I could compare it to Donna, if you'd like?” Steven offers. When you pick up your head, he's smiling softly down at you like he knows his words lifted the weight that had settled behind your ribcage.

Maybe it shows on your face, in the same way he'd seen what no one else had earlier. "That's better,” you say and you don't just mean about his commentary.

When his smile widens, you think he understands it too.

#crying wannabegroupie #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #myfic #reader fic

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obsessednotepad · 2 years

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Honestly I love how the show has shifted our perspectives on these characters and their relationships with one another. Honestly in the YT series we got some instances and scenes to be able to make inferences of their personalities but the TV series? Mwah thank you Becky and Joe for this good soup.

Literally we see how they’re stuck together and fucking hate each other on any given day because they’re 3 randos stuck in some place where every day they restart at home before ever being able to escape- who don’t know even how to escape this place.

So they just simply get by and at this point after the YT series they’ve kinda gotten used to the same routine of teachers popping in and out of their lives to torture them. Of course a few changes are welcomed bc it does become dull, maybe perhaps that’s why they go batshit on each other when given the chance bc holy shit what do you do with that resentment and anger that lives inside of you and all you’ve got is a confusing group (clump? Found family?) who don’t really fully understand each other.

But we also see that on any other given instance, they have formed their ways of showing how they care and get along. (I will probably edit it in later bc I only have limited storage in my brain and majority of it is full of bullshit)

However a little detail I’ve noticed is while Red is hardly vulnerable about personal feelings, he just seems like he assumes nobody truly cares enough about him to even a “best friend” level and given with how his family treats him I honestly can see why he feels that way. I even think regardless of the platonic or romantic implications- the “I like looking at you” scene is just so. Good. Yes because it’s a nice moment and has quite no heterosexual explanation for it but. The whole “I see you and you see me.” motif is just. So good in a way for both characters in that one moment.

They’re in a time of distress but also ease, everything feels easier to say in the dark when no one can see you. However with a egotistical, narcissistic, and honestly weirdly stupid but also fruity ass character who over compensates for either not actually being good enough (as we can see through him only making a minimal mistake that gets him instantly thrown out of a family, we can possibly assume this for other scenarios or his actual real family and well him as a character..)or something else, coming out of his head, seeing someone for who they are and liking it- is just fucking refreshing for this character. And Red? Holy shit, 1) him being the one to first openly admit is well kinda new for his character but then again his character has expanded beyond monotone and boring- he has emotional outbursts and is just as scared and angry as they are but we’ve never fully seen him say something alike to what he does say in that scene.

“It would be nice to look at the house again..and maybe looking at you too.”

Idc whatever you interpret it as- I just love how we see through small little moments and voice lines and scenes like this one how each go about their way of expressing themselves. Also just the line?? The scene?? Taking place in the dark??? Dude don’t even get me started bc while I know there is a bunch of context this scene could’ve easily been cut but it was left in for a reason. And I just generally love motifs that connects characters through “I see you” so. Yeah.

And I haven’t even fucking touched Yellow yet >:)

The whole thing with episode 6 just reveals so much more. Of course he’s always been a little silly but never fully ignorant of what bad things happen to them. especially in the YT series and haha we see that within episode 6 too. And now we see a “separation” between parts of himself, see how much aware he’s been of the hellscape they’ve been stuck in and choosing to just try to make things better by doing what helps Red and Duck feel better. Just be the happy and goofy kid. However when he can think clearly, for himself solely is when you realize he’s been thinking of this stuff for the entire time, just never had ability to communicate everything without hurting people or himself. Idk just kinda sad seeing a kid with so much shit in his brain and having so much difficulty expressing them while also going through so many emotions at once is like. Fuck you’ve got 97 mental illnesses and not in the quirky way…

But the scene with “have we gone wrong?

I don’t think so…atleast it doesn’t hurt to think anymore-

they seem upset with us….

well maybe it’s because they’re not in control of us anymore….

maybe they never were.”

It represents so many experiences. Like discovering that maybe you dont identify with what you were born with and how that effects you and your family- or a kid growing up, realizing they are scared of shifting away from themselves as they grow, or just realizing you cannot be what everyone wants, that you are in control of your life.

Well until your batteries get taken away.

And then the dynamic between all of them? Ugh I don’t know if I should discuss bc of how long this will end up being. This is probably incomprehensible and stupid but idk that’s like my thing so. Yeah get with it.

#dhmis #fluffybird #obsessed thinks sometimes #dhmis red guy #dhmis duck #dhmis yellow guy #Becky and Joe did so fucking good #omfg

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keepthisholykiss · 11 months

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This weekend I saw a production of The Dolls of New Albion and I have a lot of conflicting thoughts on it but I’m gonna dump some of those thoughts out here. I am not going to name the specific production because I personally took a decent amount of issue with it's depictions of the story and I don’t want anyone to feel bad if they happen to come across it. I am not a reviewer I just like to put my brain places to look back on later. The cast did the best they could with what they had but I think a lack of budget, musical background, and warm bodies (I guess?) was the biggest pitfall of this thing. However, I’m writing about this show in general because after I watched it I was so frustrated with what I saw that I sought out other versions. I am a rock opera kind of bitch, I’m a slut for a concept album, Repo! is one of my biggest musical loves, I was READY to love this thing. So I want to dump my brain out and talk about it.

TW: suicide, violence, racism (specifically against those who practice vodou)

A Disclaimer: I have been looking around and I know the fans for this show and the entire tetralogy are very devoted. If you are upset that I do not like parts of your Thing or that I have opinions on the racist tones in parts of it I challenge you to engage with that and process it and also to block me. I do not argue with people on the internet I will not reply to anyone who is mean to me, thanks! This is not a review I am just a person who studies art and literature and theatre and I like to throw my thoughts on things I watch online. Also there’s gonna be spoilers in here because idc nothing is earth shattering enough to matter as a spoiler.

My favorite parts of the entire story are the Narrator and Jasper. Both are so interestingly interpreted by various productions I watched or skimmed over the weekend. Now that I have listened to the album I am even more intrigued and personally I would love to direct a production of this. I am seriously considering it because I have a lot I love but I have a lot that I would fix. The Narrator in the production we went to STOLE the show they were amazing and I love the presence so many Narrators have in other versions of this I have looked over. Also I am obsessed with how so many people portray Jasper, I think it’s really cool to see how much creative expression comes out in these productions. People really run with some fun themes and ideas and I think anything that can bring that creativity out of casts and stage teams is great!

Anyway this story for the first two acts is largely really cool. The first story of Annabel had me GRIPPED I was ready to CRY I love her hopeless pursuit in creating Jasper and I just think it’s a very well laid out portion of the story. I also love the second act, I hate Edgar because he is garbage but I think his story is so well told and amazing. I really felt for Fay and for the society at large that he was influencing.

The third act I am the most conflicted on. Byron is a FASCINATING character and so is Amelia, I love how Byron’s speeches are displayed. I love how Amelia is integrated in the plot and her suicide really gripped me. But the third act features such blatantly offensive depictions of vodou that are incorrect, inappropriate, and represent a lot of issues with how steampunk treats tropes it has “created” surrounding BIPOC folks. Goth, punk, and steampunk are all areas that owe SO MUCH of their history to black folks who worked their asses off only to then be harmed by stereotypes like this. Not to mention the way these themes are integrated is stilted, does not fit the story, and drags the act out entirely. I want to love this act and I have found the only way I can enjoy its incredibly important story is to skip the songs that promote this trope.

Also important of note is that I am not black and I do not have familial connections to vodou. So its not my theme to forgive but I am uncomfortable with it knowing people who have been negatively impacted by things like this.

The fourth act is really good! Priscilla makes me want to CRY and Jasper’s character development arc is haunting when displayed here. I think the story of the fourth act is brought down swiftly by the cop/soldier/grifter. I don’t need a cop redemption story in my steampunk technology revolution where just 20 minutes ago a character was giving impassioned speeches about how to take down oppressive governments. But if I skip the soldier dude then I am still having a good time.

Overall I think this is a really good concept and foundation of a show. The songs are hit or miss but still very fun. I am still obsessed with the first two acts and all the Narrator songs and I would kill and die for Jasper. But it has a lot of issues and if I were to put it on it would need a lot of edits for me to feel comfortable with it.

#dona #dolls of new albion #shaperaverse #musicals #rock opera #michelle does theatre #narrator my beloved #jasper my other beloved

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aurora-ze-aquarius · 11 months

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Welcome to another episode of, "Aurora can't stop talking about the Dark Cacao Kingdom Cookies. Send hel-"

Today, we are going to be dissecting Dark Cacao and Dark Choco's relationship via MLP, because this song is just too good.

Also idc if you see it as cringe, it's ✨my blog.✨

Ok so. This song. But in Dark Cacao and Dark Choco.

youtube

Ok so, to sum up my ramblings because I can't stop thinking about it.

Celesitia's verse is Dark Cacao after the events of chapters 13-14, when he finally realized what a douchebag he's been to, not only his son, but the entire kingdom basically. Failing his duties as a father due to his very not well mental status, as well as trying to keep up with the declining state of the kingdom. He loves Dark Choco, but unintentionally pushed him away and didn't make room to care for him more growing up.

"And Neither had [s]he loved [her] as [she] deserved. [S]he watched as [her sister's] unhappiness grew."

Dark Choco in turn, felt frustrated. He loves his father, but felt hurt and angry towards him. So he went in search of the sword, only for the dang thing to use his emotions against him and turn against his homeland.

I'm stealing this headcanon from the comics, but basically, in the comics, the sword's curse basically sort of enhances your strong negative emotions. In the comics, Dark Choco lost control when he believed his crush friend was hurt, and his anger took control over him, amplified by the sword's curse.

My interpretation of canon is somewhat similar. The strawberry jam sword amplified Dark Choco's emotions to the point where he lost control and attacked Cacao, resulting in his banishment. However, he still has some semblance of awareness and control over his actions. He still actively chooses the path of darkness, believing it to be the only path left he could travel. He still chose to hurt people, even when he knew that's not what he wanted. He didn't stop until the end of the cacao chapters.

Ok, back to the music. Luna's Soliloquy is basically Choco pre-chapter 13-14, and how despite how much he's (rightfully) angry, hurt, and upset at his father for what he did, he still misses him, and yearns to make things right.

"My pain grows, I can't know. Are you still the same?"

But after so long, and when he finally received some semblance of closure for what happened, the sword's grip on his soul weakened, because his negative emotions weakened. He was able to come to terms with what happened. He's still very much hurt, and is still recovering, but he's able to accept his emotions better. It'll take a while until they can both meet again, and make things right, but I can't help but think of their story whenever I listen to this song.

#haha help #cookie run kingdom #dark cacao kingdom #dark cacao cookie #dark choco cookie #🌌📝#strawberry jam sword #there's also mention of the comics here #i am aware they aren't canon #but I really do like the interpretation of the sword's curse in the comics #(has only ever read Operation Survival)#(do not trust her with anything)#Youtube

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metalsonicscraps · 2 months

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haii :DD

ok so I saw ur last (oti) ask, so I know you're putting it on hiatus for a bit [U dont have to urgently answer]

but if you're up to it,,,

do you have an idea of who has which roles in the team? (I don't play so idc how accurate it is but ye)

[+ any headcanons - this is optional]

this was long.

my bad.

Hi!! Thank you for the ask! :D

I am once again going to emphasize that ice sports are not common where I live, therefore I don't know everything about them. I write about them bc they're fascinating, so apologies if this is inaccurate or if I'm interpreting the sport wrong :,3

I like to think that Vector and Tails are the goalies. Vector because he's larger and can physically block the goal, and Tails because he's agile and can think fast (if that makes any sense).

Blaze and Sonic are definitely the most offensive on the team, so they're the wings. They're the ones who rush toward the puck and shoot most of the goals, since they're the fastest.

Knuckles and Amy are the defense, blocking the other team when they can because of how physically strong they are. (They're also in the penalty box the most often for this reason lol)

Espio is the strategist for the team. He sits out for the first few minutes (since you can only have so many players on the ice at one time) and figures out what the opposing team is about (like specific weaknesses, patterns that they can exploit, that sort of thing) (this is inspired by someone on my college's hockey team lmao). He's definitely the center (the guy who deals with the face offs) because he can analyze where to hit the puck.

The other players on the team are well-rounded, so they fill in where they need to.

I'm not super familiar with IDW (I'm still reading it, which is why I'm hesitant to expand upon Tangle and Whispers characters even though I've mentioned them), but I think Jewel might be the manager? Maybe? If not her, then maybe Vanilla.

Speaking of, Vanilla is the unofficial Team Mom. She brings Cream and Cheese to all of the games and is always the loudest in the crowd (and she makes snacks for them ofc).

Shadow, when he was on the team, probably would have been on offense like Sonic, though I think they would compete more with each other than with the opposing team to get the puck lol.

I'm not really sure what role Jet played on the team just yet. However, I am sure that he spent the most time in the penalty box.

Also to elaborate on the temporary hiatus, it's only partially bc of how insecure I am about the story/ characterizations. I joined the Sonic Big Bang event and I've been working on my fic for that (it has to be an entirely new fic lol). Between that, college, work, and my own figure skating practice, I've been super busy lmao

But yeah, thank you so much for the ask! And don't apologize about it being long 🫶

#scraps posts #oti #on thin ice #<- the name isnt super long so im not sure why i keep using an abbreviation lol #anyways thanks again for the ask ^^

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the-paris-of-people · 1 year

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THANK YOU for speaking on how bela's actions are clearly trauma-informed i feel like i've been yelling this from the rooftops and no one has been listening. it's not just about her need to be liked. it's about the fact that the catullan made her feel like her only power was her sexuality and it was used against her. so when she came back after thanksgiving, she decided that she was going to take her power back and use her sexuality to her advantage after it was used to degrade her. and whether or not she went about it in a way that people agree with or not is besides the point because it's a common feeling and thing to happen to sa survivors. also when eric (a white man who's on the catullan which gives him better chances of getting an internship anyway) swooped in on her chance to get an internship, she felt powerless again. like he had everything in his corner to help him get an internship without meeting with dan and as a woc in comedy, this was bela's big shot and he took it from her. i also think the jorja storyline outlined bela wanting to feel powerful as well, however misguided it was. there are some criticisms i have of her storyline. most of them are the fact that i feel like she was neglected in favor of other characters and they really could've dived deeper into her actions. but bela is my girl 100% and i will stand by her no matter what. she kills my family? they did something to deserve it idc

Yes!! I even saw someone link an interview with Amrit that said "Bela reflected back on her assault/abuse at the Catullan over Thanksgiving break and thought she wasn't talking no shit" Thank you for bringing up Eric because he literally said he was going to do whatever it takes to climb the comedy writing ladder OVER her even though he has every single advantage over her and it was just generally rude to screw over his girlfriend like that when he literally KNOWS writers at the Dan O'Connell show and could have used that instead. The Jorja storyline people said was out of character, but again it was just Bela recapitulating the power dynamic and "suffering" she had to endure once she assumed influence in her position of power that the Catullan head writers exerted over her. I really think they could have explicitly stated/explored her trauma further this season and I do think they could have focused more on her, but I think she'll really get a chance to shine next season and I am so excited for that. It's crazy that people reduced Bela down to being a "villain" or "a cheater" (which is insane to me, people cheat in TV shows all the time and no one gets this up in arms about it???) when she again, is a young girl incredibly confused at how to navigate her career in a male-dominated career, especially when she has been the victim of SA VERY RECENTLY without truly processing it. I love her so much and she could kill me and I wouldn't care. Bela ultimately has a great heart, cares about her friends and the people around her, she has just been fucked by the world of comedy and is trying to unlearn everything that has steered her awry from season 1. Again, I get the sense from people's criticisms of the show that unless these concepts are very explicitly STATED (like with NHIE s1 vs. s2) they cannot interpret that many of these actions of WOC are trauma-informed and instead display a complete disregard, neglect, and lack of empathy for them. it's disgusting and I hate it and they don't deserve Bela. Thank you for coming to my inbox for agreeing with me XOXO

#truly i love her sm #let woc be flawed #rather than demonizing mindy kaling for demonizing her #thank her for showing us how trauma inflicted on woc can affect them and incite their messiness #ask #answered #the sex lives of college girls #i do wish we got more bela this seaso #bela malhotra

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dustofthedailylife · 1 year

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just out of curiosity since you mentioned you only have a couple of ships, who do you ship in genshin?

*sweats*

Don't mind me as I panic because I'm literally scared of the shipping-side of fandoms in general (I've seen how people talk to each other on twitter when their ships don't align and, oh boy, I want nothing to do with that...) >.<'

But my ships are fairly popular aside from one... I guess? I have three I like. Just to give a specific number. And while I don't read or write ship fanfics, since I prefer x Reader, I do like to look at fanart occasionally.

I'll put them UTC because I assume some people don't want to read that on their timeline since this is primarily an x Reader blog <3

Zhongli x Guizhong

I've shipped them pretty much since I started playing the game in 2021. I got super invested into Zhongli's lore and eventually came across her name. Then I started digging deeper into her lore and theories about her and fell in love with her and the ship.

I suppose this is something of a niche ship? Especially now with the new Lantern Rite where GuiPing seems to have overtaken it. And I've already seen people attacked over shipping GuiLi because of that too on twt now... cause apparently it's homophobic to ship them now? Idk... make it make sense. This is why I usually stay out of this.

2. Cyno x Tighnari

These two... I swear Sumeru has changed me somehow because as I stated in prior asks: I'm usually not into shipping characters so whenever I start liking two characters I have a sort of "denial stage" at first where I'm like "nah, I don't ship them... or maybe... no.... yes?".

And at first I was like "yeah they're best friends, whatever"... then I saw more and more fanart and was like "yeah, you know what, they're kinda cute." and eventually fanart converted me into shipping them. So, good job fanartists - the domestic and cuddly scenarios you put them in made me cave 👌🏻

And lastly...

3. Alhaitham x Kaveh

This one also seems to be quite popular and I basically just got past the above mentioned denial stage, haha! 😂

I have to admit I couldn't stand Kaveh at all at first, he seemed like a handful and I was like "yeah, they'd never get along in a million years, especially not as a couple."

Then I played Haitham's story quest and saw the interaction with Kaveh... then I saw more fanart again. Then [insert denial stage here] and I guess I'm now at the point where I can say, yeah... I like them and I also like Kaveh now... he is just such a kindhearted soul (even if he is a bit eccentric, I suppose).

Good job fanartists, once again 🤝🏻

So yeah, that is all of them.

I want to mention that I am really lost when it comes to shipping terminology and I also don't really want to get involved in all that stuff. It's all a bit too stressful for me.

I do want to draw fanart of these ships but I'm a bit too scared to do so and only drew things that could be interpreted as both ship or platonic (they're posted on my art blog, I'll keep this blog clear of that). Because I've seen how vile shippers get towards other ships at times when they don't like the portrayed one... instead of - you know - ignoring it??? Especially on twt.

And don't get me started on some "rules" people have put up for shipping. Like, just let me have the idea of two fictional characters being all lovey-dovey. If it makes me or anyone else happy, who cares? (as long as it isn't problematic ships ofc...)

I never intend to write ship fanfic however since that is something I also don't enjoy consuming myself. I always preferred self-insert 🤷🏻‍♀️

And lastly, idc if anyone ships these peeps with someone else or doesn't ship them with anyone at all. It's fictional characters and at the end of the day... it ain't that deep (which is why I'll never understand why some people make such a fuss over it...)

#🍁 dust mail #🍁 garden visitor: anon #tw: shipping

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kittykollision · 2 years

Text

All That I Wanted

Word Count: ???

Notes / Warnings: This is a Vergil oneshot - originally x oc but no name is given and physical description is like referenced twice - so it could be interpreted as a x f!reader? Idc. A fair bit of angst and self-loathing in this one. Bittersweet.

Wrote this when I was 16 I think. Uhh been in love with Vergil for a while now... oopsie...

Song referenced in title is All That I Wanted by Daughter

My Masterlist

Enjoy xx

She traced the liquid trail down the glass with the tip of her finger, drawing a fine line as the drop of rain trickled down. Staring out to the gloomy world outside, a sudden empty chill washed over her. Her hair stood on end - an electric pulse that had caused her to shiver. Her other arm clutched around her slender form. She held herself against the cold. It helped her forget that she was alone.

He hadn't been himself lately.

She reminded herself, yet again, drawing out the mental chain of thought that ailed her.

He was but a shell of his usual self. The air of confidence, the off-brand charisma. Gone. She thought it was impossible for someone already inhumanly flawless - like porcelain to be even more pale. The carved cheekbones had been fully carved out - he was beginning to look like skin and bone dressed in a dark coat. Parading around like he was still alive. Not even that. He was a ghost, rarely seen roaming the halls.

She hadn't spoken to him for days now. She hadn't shared dinner, or any food for that matter with him for even longer. He would rarely eat as it was, but every now and again he would indulge in one of his lesser human desires. Only to remain healthy. She hadn't shared a bed with him either - unless he was choosing to rest in his study nowadays - for all she knew, he was not sleeping.

They hadn't so much as crossed paths in so long.

A home shared by two - and both were convinced of their loneliness.

One; thought they had done something unspeakably awful but could not recall any horrible acts or any out of the norm before... They blamed themself, cursed themself rather than the other. They were so certain they had performed an offensive action, or said something insensitive. It wouldn't be the first time.

The other one; had shrouded them self in their own selfish desire to seek the truth, and within that truth would they find power. Hours of the night spent beside the dim, flickering light of a lamp, nose-deep diving into books. Dust swirled in the air, translucent sparks in their vision. Little annoyances. They did not care to move and follow daily routine, even when their arms had grown tired and numb. Dark circles laid bare beneath sore eyes, browsing page after page, endlessly. The agony never ended. They just wanted to know something... anything.

She pressed her hand against the smooth, glossy surface one last time. She reminisced about better weather, oddly enough. For someone who loved colder weather and the snow, rain was usually welcome, however the dreary atmosphere was not wanted here. She had had enough. The noire filter that had suffocated her home life for too long now, needed to be wiped away.

She could not describe where her sudden spout of confidence had originated from nor how uplifting it came across. She would not deny it, or herself. If she laid down her arms now, who would do this in her stead?

It was a familiar setting she came across when she peeked through the crack of the door. He must really be out of it to leave the door ajar, she thought to herself.

He was well aware, even when his senses were dampened by his out ineptitude, of how she flinched when he perked his head up. Tired, though he may be, but not deaf. The creak of the door gave her presense away. Normally, he would had hidden the smallest smile from her when she appeared. Truth be told, he was always joyed when she wandered around. Something would tug at his heartstrings, teasing the corners of his lips upward, when she would enter a room. She was pleasant company, he would lie to himself to conceal his truest feelings.

Today, his face looked rather grim. So did hers, in fact.

Heartstrings tugged in his chest, it irked him. The sensational that was unusual to the likes of him, had left a sour taste in his mouth. It reminded him of his conflict. The war that had to be won. It pained him that she would most likely become a causality. That pain only drived him into the flames. He didn't know how to feel about anything. Or whether to, or not.

He made no attempt to hide what had been keeping him occupied for so long. One pair of eyes saw work. The other saw too many books, piled upon each other like mountains.

She had made it past the doorway and into his musty domain. She drowned in the scent of books disturbed from their long rests. The dust made the light hazy, as the gothic lamp flickered on with life. It struggled. She was bothered by the lack of his natural vanilla-esque musk. To match the man himself, she smelled a scent royal, prideful and strong. She loved it. It was sweet, and she happened to be a sweet-tooth. A moth to a flame.

God, how she was addicted to it. She was almost ashamed of how tightly she held on - to him, his words, his actions. She found herself constantly in awe, as if she was blessed to be in his presence. She did her best hide how much he truly meant to her. However, she would never dare to forget the fact - that out of anyone on the planet - he had chosen to remain by her side; the woman who was once such a pain in his.

Vergil was there, sitting painfully upright, perfect posture, at his desk. The study was his den, and while she respected his privacy, he had spent such a long time cooped up in this small haven. It wasn't healthy.

Only his desk was lit. A lamp, with the dim light of a dying bulb and a candle that was running out of wax. Books were piled around the room, almost like a hoarder's mess. She couldn't make sense of anything yet. Her observations, remained to herself.

Two more steps forward. Her hands were raised somewhat by her sides, to alert him that she meant no harm. She did it even though he couldn't see. Still, she felt the need to be cautious. After all, she knew what he was capable of. Although she would never admit it to anyone, and especially not herself, a part of her remained rational while the rest of her was lost in this fantasy. That part still feared him, as she did wholly back then.

If he ever caught on to the slight hesitance she held with ever moment they shared, it would not end well. His generally quiet nature could not mistaken for a lack of confidence. He was a very driven man. It's just that he was inexperienced with handling people - it wasn't as simple as handling a sword. He had made a habit of forsaking close relationships with anyone long ago. It added the the reason she felt so blessed to be so close. Of course, with that, he wasn't sure how those sorts of relationships - friendships and beyond - were supposed to play out.

A breath away from where he sat, idle yet frozen, was where she stopped herself. Arms still raised somewhat, curled, quivering fingers hanging in the air. She too, was frozen. Her lips were unbearably dry, mouth parched as she finally spoke.

"Hey."

Her voice was minuscule. A whisper in the dark. It seemed as though it had gone unnoticed.

It was like a gunshot to his ears. A sickening crack of thunder that woke him from his daze. The slightest movements of his eyes as he tried to focus on the page only proved how tired he was. His body was exhausted, but he would not have it. He would not become distracted, not even if he desperately wanted to escape from his own prison. The desperation that rivalled his unbridled need to know himself. The need to find peace.

Having been ignored, she turned her attention to the catastrophic state of the room. He usually kept his things tidy. Seeing everything being consumed by such a mess was jarring to her eyes. By the corner of his desk, almost hidden by books left wide open - was a turned down photo frame. Curious, she moved to it, brushing away the books that were piled around it to inspect it. Her nimble fingers wrapped around the wooden frame, turning it over to reveal that the glass panel had been shattered from its fall. It was a shame, she thought to herself, as it was a nice photo.

She wouldn't dare to ask where he had found it, or why he had left it on the ground. It was a delicate subject - his mother - she had brought up before but it didn't end well. Almost drove them apart. He loved his mother, and missed her - she could tell, not from empathetic instincts. She too had felt that way before. Sometimes she would feel it nowadays - as her mother was hardly the kind and generous woman she was before.

She sympathised with Eva; the similarities between them were uncanny. Difference was, that out her union, Eva had met a terrible fate. She had yet to. It was surely coming, but it would not be the same.

She knew why the photo was abandoned here. There was no need for questions. He couldn't bare to look at her face, as he tried so hard to deny that humanity that made up half of him. Trying to cut that away, again. Never happy with himself, always torn between emotions and instinct. Not sure of where he stood, or where he belonged - human world, or demon world.

"Don't you think that you should take a break?" She held the photo in her hands for a moment longer, not entirely sure whether to replace it on the desk or leave it out of the conversation. "The answers you're looking for will still be here, or wherever they may be, while you're gone."

No answer. Not even a glance.

"Don't shut me out." She tried to fool herself thinking that what they had was fairy tale kind of romance, unexpected and magical. The idea of it wasn't healthy. If only it was a perfect as one, but it appeared that there was something wrong every other day between them. She was sick... He was frustrated... She felt that things were one-sided... He was deliberately being distant... Why couldn't they just be happy? For a sliver pf a moment?

"I can't imagine how you're feeling, with yourself. Not knowing if you're this, or that. Wanting the truth, so you can be certain. Look, neither of us are normal. We don't fit into one side. I'm as human as I'm not. The same goes for you."

"It's not that simple."

It had been so long since she had heard it, his voice was almost foreign. The wear and tear could be heard. It was plain to see how much he needed to rest.

"You're right, it's not. I think you're smart enough to know that you won't find what you seek in these books. Or any book. Or anyone." Her words were a call out, and he knew it. She was pulling whatever they had into question again. She had once argued that he had only kept her around to be his damsel, his 'human' lover - just as his father had within his mother. Now she was going to try and argue that she was here to help him decide whether he was a demon or human - both, or neither. Always so quick to jump the gun, or misread a situation. Nothing she insinuated was true. A sigh escaped his lips, he was too exhausted to argue with her. Why couldn't they be content? Even for sliver of a moment?

Her face of porcelain, ceased at the brow. Not out of annoyance. She took a hit with his lack of argument. She wasn't sure why she was so sour, she wasn't looking for one. She just wanted him to open up, and let her in. I'm so selfish, she thought, always making things about me.

"I love you." Her arms found their way around his solid build, holding on to anchor him, to stop him fading away and creating that distance again. Her confession, another gunshot to his ears. Her head rested on his shoulder, ocean eyes begging him to look in her direction. He didn't have that much confidence. She had returned the photo to his desk, in plain view for him to see. The unflinching gaze from the picture was met by his own. What symbolised the humanity he had left, all framed behind shattered glass. It was as if his mother was waiting on him to say something also. "I just want to know that looking for yourself's not useless, so long as you don't lose what you have along the way."

She didn't want to be left mourning first, out the two of them. True that someone would eventually be lost, and the other would be left behind, but she'd be damned if she was the one alone. The man she loved, demon or human, both or neither, would outlive her. She refused to lose him to anything, especially not to himself. "Not to mention, you don't have to look alone."

When he reached and took hold of her hand, to be her anchor, he was surprised she didn't flinch away. He always expected it, as twisted as that was. He should have known better than to assume that she was fragile, or skittish. "I'm sorry."

Tired words from a tired man. She relaxed a little, pressing her lips against his temple in a chaste kiss. He didn't mind the gesture, for a change. He wasn't known for his affection. His passion was directed toward other things, such as his work , not that didn't care for her. He was simply reserved; she was not.

"Don't be. I get it. So, what do you say we get out here for a while?"

#devil may cry #vergil #fanfiction #fanfic #vergil x reader #vergil x oc #x oc #oc #x reader #reader #dmc #devil may cry vergil #dmc vergil #oneshot #vergil is my dumbass husband

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