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darlingofvalyria · 8 months

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❝I am not a Valyrian Sex God.❞

part 03 | pucker up, buttercup

chapter summary:

[ The line of friendship dances in uncertain waters when you and Aemond play the fake dating game a little too well. Helaena reveals much more than meets the eye to Aegon, and vice versa. Oh, and Alys. Hi Alys! ]

[ 5,399 ] [ series masterlist ] | best friend's brother!aemond targaryen x f!reader, ft. cregan stark x f!reader & aemond targaryen x alys rivers,

contains— mostly fluff, a wee bit angsty, a little smutty - profanity, i swear a lot sorry too shhshs - no use of y/n - no gods, no kings, no betas.

a/n— thank you so much for the love this little fic is getting so far!! it truly warms my heart that you people enjoy my twisty, crackpot humour and my version of a modern au for these characters!! as much as i am grateful for george for making these characters and these stories, i have to say what propelled me to write is the beautiful community i found. truly, from the bottom of my heart. ❥ fandom is built on community. i would not have had the courage to start writing fanfiction again if not for ya'll. so thank you so much. for the consumers and the creators. you, us, are the beating heart of fandom. please take care of each other. + comment, reblog & like at will, mwa ♡

"Please tell me I haven't inhaled so much drugs in my system that I am hallucinating our— and I say this with a lot love, okay you know what? No. Our Nasty Little Bitch of A Grudge Holder we call, lovingly, a brother, is not dating the hottest friend you have? Hel? The hottest friend you told me if I ever came anywhere near, you'd rip me a new asshole? How is Aemond's asshole still intact?? Or does our brother just have a gaping fun-house slide down there? Hello? Hellooo, pay attention to meee. This is so rude, why didn't I call Daeron?"

"Because Daeron knows nothing and I know everything?" Hel snorts, finishing up re-naming Aemond's contact from CURRENT DUMB BRO to NASTY LITTLE BITCH OF A GRUDGE HOLDER, before turning to Aegon on her laptop.

Like she predicted, Aegon is already pouting, leaning back on what Helaena remembers is their grandfather's rum-coloured leather office chair. In his office. In Oldtown.

After a quick stint in Ibiza, it seems Helaena's brother had found himself back in the country, and worse— back in their grandfather's office. Without him in it.

"Grandpa's going to kill you." Helaena snorts. "How'd you even get inside his house?"

"This is not the first time I have been faced with a locked door, baby sister."

"You broke a window didn't you?"

"I really, really had to piss."

She rolls her eyes. Hard. "You are a boy. You can literally just pee anywhere."

Aegon flutters a gasp and a hand over his chest. "Excuse me? I may have a penis, but that does not mean I have to be uncouth. For shame, Helaena. Also disgusting. But that's not why I called." He steeples his fingers as he leans forward, pressing his elbows against the nice mahogany desk. "What the fuck is happening over there? I'll be there by tomorrow and I'd like to know what the fuck is happening before I start—" he wiggles his eyebrows salaciously, " — shaking things up."

A dark look crosses Helaena's usually amiable pretty face that has Aegon leaning back. "If you do anything— and I mean anything — to ruin what I have going on, Mother may help you for I certainly won't. The Stranger will look like an old friend, Egg, don't you fucking dare."

"What the fuck," Aegon exhales, wide-eyed and horrified. "Have you been watching M. Night Shyamalan movies again?"

"No," she lies. "I'm doing this for my OTP."

"Oh my god, you're the one who roped them together?" Aegon strangles a sigh. "Lae-lae, we've talked about this. No matter how much you think they're cute, Aemond—"

"— Aemond and Alys broke up."

"Then they'll be together again before the weekend's out." Aegon rolls his eyes. "It's Aemond."

"Not like this." Hel shakes her head. "I got her to agree, Egg. And they're like... Gods, the pictures don't do them justice. They're magnetic. They make plans at the apartment, Aemond is there all the time— my OTP is happening."

"You are playing god between two people you care about."

"What else am I supposed to do?! They're obviously so hot for each other, and now that Alys is out of the picture, and she's there, right in front of him, Egg, you should see how it is between them. The energy. It's crackling. They have inside jokes, they're so comfortable with each other, and I will have the most beautiful nephew and niece—"

"—Helaena Targaryen," Aegon admonishes with finality. Hel quiets. Often times, the siblings forget Aegon is quintessentially the oldest sibling. They had never been close to their father's actual firstborn— the age gap is wide and there's just... too much complicated family fissures in between that it feels awkward, even when they're relationship is okay, to interact or consider Rhaenyra anything past a cousin you see every other holiday because you have to, much less now that their father's dead — so Aegon is their big brother.

And though they see it in bits, in flung comet pieces that you see preciously once every few hundred years— the vibe of big brother grasps the edges and reminds the younger siblings.

Sure, he's a dick. Sure, he's a whore. Sure, he's their mother's least and most favourite headache— but Aegon is their big brother.

"You cannot play puppeteer like this. This can blow up in their faces. And they care for each other. Their friends. If this blows up in their faces, it is going to hurt."

"I know that," Helaena says quietly, pout pinched but face mostly cleared. "You don't think I don't know?"

"I think you've already outweighed your chances and your choosing a possibility."

Helaena looks truly scolded at that point, and it juts a guilt down Aegon's stomach. But Aegon likes you. Maybe not like in the way that his brother likes you— in that intense, possessive way he gets with people and things he care about because there are so few of them — but he likes you. And he loves Aemond on a bad day, and likes him on a good one.

And Aegon knows, as a superior power about crashing and burning, that this is going to hurt both of you in ways that he truly doesn't think Helaena understands.

Because he isn't blind (as his brother) (bad joke?) (probably) to what he sees in Aemond's gaze when it looks at you. Sure it's possessive, sure it's the same way he looks at most people he keeps close to his heart.

But he was the one who saw how Aemond looked at you before Alys came into the picture. Before it morphed into nothing but platonic; morphed close to how he looks at Helaena. In that soft, I'm So Glad This Person Exists I Would Kill Literally Everyone For Them.

Aegon always thought he looked at you like he wanted to devour you. Etch you into his skin until your shape is in red marks across white plane. He looked at you like I Would Kill Myself If You Asked.

It was the possibility of devotion dipped in insanity. Aemond had so few things, much less people, who so vocally, physically, and emotionally cared for him without addendums.

The only real reason he never did anything before was because you were Helaena's best friend. Helaena loved you. And he couldn't destroy that alongside the fact that you might leave his side.

And then Alys happened and that focal point moved.

Aegon knew his brother. Not as intensely, and maybe that's the reason he could see it. To see clearly past the intensity and recognise its edges. Aegon knew his brother in his marrow.

"When this crashes and burns—"

"If!" Helaena quips stubbornly. "If it crashes and burns. Come home. You'll see, Egg. Aemond just needs to see."

"And what if she doesn't reciprocate, Lae-lae? She's not hard to love, and this is Aemond." Even Helaena knows his feelings, once taken root in whatever form, can blossom.

Helaena smiles softly. "Come home. You'll see. I can see it. I've seen it. The possibility of them, and it's so pretty, Egg."

It's really not all that pretty, fake dating.

Maybe it could be, but Aemond Targaryen is such an ass.

"This is not like The Devil Wears Prada fashion montage," you grumble, pinching off the big, 60s, yellow sunglasses off your nose to glare pointedly at the man sat on lounge chair. "All the zippers and tugging— this is not as pretty! And I look ridiculous! I don't wear dresses like these, Aemy!"

"You don't look ridiculous, you look like my girlfriend." He makes his emphasis with an inch raised eyebrow and pouty lips twitching not to laugh. "That's the point, is it not?"

You make a drawl huff. It's not just that his words were right— that's what the past hour has been, roaming around all these big named fashion brands where the staff just knows Aemond Targaryen, if not just by him sauntering in with all the swagger of an asshole you'd walk the other side of the street to ignore, then by the flash of his black card (or three, 'cause what the fuck is money to Targaryens holy shit) — but the way he's sitting as he appraises every look he's chosen for you.

He's lax, as could be in his usually perfect posture, with his hips in the middle, and one leg braced down whilst the other is raised to his other thigh. A confident man's sitting position, with an arm over the length of the sofa, balancing a champagne a trying-to-suppress-her-giddiness staff gave him.

At your disapproved glare— down on your nose at him because you're standing over him, lording over him, as he's sitting down — and he's smirking up at you. As if the power dynamics don't shift by whoever is looming over the other.

Aemond doesn't need to stand to make you feel all fluttery with a smirk and a strong gaze against your body. His eyes gaze from the bottom of your heeled toes, slow, slow, slow, until it reached the top of your head.

Surely you've only imagined his gaze lingering on certain parts of you that now felt hot and tingly.

Surely.

"Plus," he continues with a hum. A sip of champagne. "Isn't this your idea?"

"Yes, but—"

"Didn't you tell me that I should prepare the kind of outfits that Aemond Targaryen's girlfriend would wear—"

"Yes, but I—"

He leans forward, taking pleasure in arguing with you, as he settles his elbows on his knees, pressing both of his feet flat on the tile. He's looking up, still, but his eyes are intense and the corner of his mouth is twitching from a grin he's trying to fight.

"And even when I told you that didn't matter, that whatever you wore would be fine, you insisted?"

"Because I thought it'd be fun!" you growl and he falls in faint, amused laughter. His eye is sparkling and there's a joy to him that makes you giddy. You truly have missed Aemond as you know him. "Because I wanted a fun dress-up montage, but nothing about this is fun! Why are you choosing so many goddamned zippers, and they're all so fucking tight?"

You plop beside him, stealing his champagne. Staff look away, trying not to ogle too much between you two. As you take sips of his drink, his hand, still over the sofa's arm, begin drawing idle circles on your exposed shoulders. It warms you and calms you down, melting further in the seat beside him.

"I liked the dresses," he finally murmurs. "The ones before this. The flowy fabric ones."

"Those are summer dresses," you say though don't know why.

"Hm," he hums. "You look pretty in them."

You look up at him and he's looking at you, a small smile on his face. The proximity is too near to be proper but not near enough if you're fake dating. You study his silver lashes and the scarred flesh.

"Thanks."

"We'll get them. Is that alright with you?"

You snort softly. "You're paying, Aemy. You can do whatever you want. Can't believe this is how your dates with Alys usually went."

Hatching plans meant unloading information about his former relationship with her. Going through their relationship so you could understand it better, better proportioned the good and the bad, and secretly, make him see the red flags that should jump out in clear, plastic red.

"Not at first." He's looking away now, but his finger is still drawing circles. There's a wistful tone to his voice, like seeing through a dream and a memory. "But when it got... bad, it seemed like the only time we weren't fighting was when we were in public. Almost subconsciously, whenever things got tensed, I'd offer to take us out. Do anything outside of our bubble. Money isn't an issue, and before Alys said she felt like a... cheap whore than a girlfriend, buying things for her, spending time looking through things to wear, to match almost, was safe."

"Gift Giving," you mutter with a nod. He turns.

"What was that?"

"A love language." He cocks his head. You sigh. "I mean it's stupid and not really theoretically accurate, but for fun, there's five types of love languages. People do this test thing and sort of box up the kind of love language you want to receive and what you give— but truly, in my opinion, a true kind of love demands all five for it to work."

He hums, intrigued. "And what are the five?"

"Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, Gift Giving. But, you know, all of those should be given by a partner, in increments they can do for you. There shouldn't be a boxed fixture of what your relationship could be."

You shrug, standing up and stretching. You don't see him looking at you in the way that he has been for the past few days, and he doesn't know the tingles and feelings you keep between a smile and a sigh.

"Love looks different for everyone but it should have the same concept."

"And what concept is that?"

You turn to him, smiling. "That if you truly love someone, you can try anything. Love doesn't demand things that you do for the simple reason that you love the person enough."

"Love can be complicated," he says, and he's not arguing, not really. He isn't begging for you to understand. He is simply saying.

"Love can," you agree. "As most things are complicated. But it doesn't have to hurt."

It's a boundary line, the way he blinks, remembering why you're here together, why he gets to touch you in intimate ways, why he gets to pay for clothes, why you spend this time with him. A jolt. A shock.

You don't press and he doesn't retreat. The line exists not just to remind, but to stabilise any projections. Any dangerous tones.

You simply smile, nodding at the time. "Dinner date, babycakes. We can't be late for reservations."

"We can be late for a few minutes," he says, remembering echoes of how Alys sometimes got late. It isn't really her fault; there are days when she's too busy at the law firm, too busy with a meeting or two, or still finishing up her makeup because she doesn't like going to dinner in her work clothes.

"Sure, but we're here together and I know how much you hate being late." You snort.

"I don't hate it."

"Sure, but you got that eye twitch you do when you're annoyed," you tease, tapping your own eye before you wink at him and skip away.

For the past few days since the bar incident, by your suggestion, you and Aemond had pour out the intricacies of how Aemond and Alys' relationship worked whilst hiding your true intention of making him see its faults and corners, and at the same time, continue on with the charade of dating him.

It's been a packed week or so, going to your shifts at the bar, meeting with Cregan once and a while (boy had been busy, and he found the entire thing with Aemond incredibly hilarious).

You answered no question mark in regards on who the hand was, only sent a winky face or a kiss blowing emoji. You continue to post minute representations of your no-longer-single status in brief intervals, making sure that you never name him. You never publicly give him a recognisable body.

But for those that knew, knew.

It really wasn't that hard. There were only so much pale, toned hands, so much body builds you can hide with your hand covering his general face that you can hide without people making smart guesses. There wasn't a lot of pale, toned people around you after all.

But in your refusal to name him, the question continues, and so does Alys silent observation of every post. The only story she had liked had been the very first one.

You often wonder what she thinks, before your mind is devoured once again with everything else.

To be fair, as often as you had both been seeing each other lately— and it has been the most often you have been seeing of him — there were still things outside of Aemond and Helaena plans. And Aemond still had UNI to focus on.

"You know, I often forget you're still in university," you say now, comfortably warm in Aemond's car. All fresh leather seat and crisp new car smell despite knowing that Aemond's had this unit now for at least a year. He maybe rich, but he knew what he liked and took care of them.

He shoots you a quizzical look before looking back at the road. The city is bathed in a gorgeous stream of oranges and pinks, tie-dying glass buildings and bustle of city roads. When you look at him, you smile softly at how pretty the light hits him.

"Why is that? Do I look that young?"

"Your vibe is so old man on a nine to three, cigar breaks by four, and whiskey sours by seven pm."

He makes a disgruntled sound at the back of his throat. You laugh. "I would like to think it's my altruistic classicism. A timeless endeavour."

"Sure, old man," you tease then sigh. "Reality is, I'm so much older than you. I'm hanging out with a child. On my free day. Is this what it means to reach low status?"

"I am not a child." His reply is sharp, cutting, almost offended.

"You're in college."

"And of legal age? You're only four years older."

"Oh, right."

"What?"

You smirk at his dark look. "You like 'em way older."

His face, much like his gaze, heats up. You're imaging it when the ride turns red, the car slows to a stop, and he is looking at your lips. Surely it was, because you got transfixed with the way his tongue darts out to wet his lips. A slow, tantalising movement.

It feels like an eternity stretched within three seconds. The light turns green and both of you turn away.

Well, there's been that. A few times. But it doesn't mean anything. Aemond is in that transition of trying to rid himself of bad habits, of being freshly single once again, and you know he and Alys get in on frequently. This had been a conversation a few days back, on a couch, smell of grease and pizza around the room while Murder She Wrote played in the background.

"Wait, wait, wait." You sat up, folding your legs underneath your butt, and giving Aemond your full attention with a little 'o' in your mouth.

"Wait!" Helaena calls playfully from her sway to the bathroom. "Imma pee!"

"Take care, my beloved!" you call back, before turning to Aemond with a big, Cheshire grin.

"Can we not dwell on it?" He's flustered but is trying not to show it, looking back to the TV as if he understood why there's a body on the plane.

But wine has been had, spilled and shared, and it's enough for you to grab that fluster and the topic, and smirked.

"No, no, we will talk about it. We shall! We must! Do you mean to tell me that by the end of it, most of the time, you two were just boning? Is Aemy, one of my favourite people in the world, a Valyrian Sex God?? Oh my god??"

"I am not a Valyrian Sex God."

"Okay, girly pop, please." You raised a hand in a 'talk to the hand' motion and he was smiling at you, entranced and frustrated. "Women talk, Aemy!"

There was a flush and Helaena came back. Wine did things to Helaena, and she was stumbling and giggling as she flopped behind you, turning around and encasing you in a koala hug.

"Women talk, baby bro." Helaena nodded sagely. "Even I try not to listen, they talk, alas."

"And Alys has said those hips—" You pointed a j'accuse finger at his hips, then his mouth. "—and that tongue has done things that can make the Maiden blush."

Helaena groaned behind you're back, a slew of 'ew's escaping her mouth. And you were still being playful, teasing, but Aemond was looking at you, though scarlet, with a deepened expression.

And at that moment, both of you were thinking the same thing.

His chin brushing your thighs, your sighs like music to his ears, and his tongue making you scream.

Warmth pooled, twin expressions share a gaze. Hunger, desire, shame.

The connection was destroyed when Helaena abruptly jolted and fell down the carpet. Because she was holding onto you, you got pulled with her.

"Are you okay??" Aemond asked.

Hel gasped. "I thought I saw Bobby. I think I squished Bobby."

You shook your head. "You didn't. Bobby is spry. Bobby knows to move away."

Aemond's confused face peered down at both of you. "Who's Bobby?"

"The local spider that lives here."

"Of course." And he smiled.

You smiled back.

Helaena giggled beside you but when you ask her, she only shook her head.

And the silence that lulls in the car is like both of you reaching the very same memory and having to sit through the stifle of that drunken interaction about his sex life. He coughs, you let out a breathy giggle.

"I should admit something," he says, parking the car in front of the restaurant. Dusk is settling, sunset in bright red and orange turning to a cool blue and pretty lavender— and when you turn to him after getting out of the car, coddling your jacket close to your body, he looks nervy. Apologetic, almost.

"What? What'd you do?"

He bites his bottom lip. "I know something about this restaurant."

"I would assume. You chose it." Your eyes narrow, giving the black-out floor to ceiling windows a look. The Painted Table is lit up in a scrawled font on top of it.

You step inside, not bothering to turn to his call of your name, and is submerged by the restaurant's vibe. It's a darkened place with meaningful lighting but a casual air, a bar on the side, and an upbeat jazzy music dancing in the air — it looks good. The place smelled delicious.

Nothing about it sparked familiarity to you, but the anticipation from that look of guilt on his face brought you to a high-strung, so when he calls your name again, just behind you, you turn.

"Is this where you had your first date with Alys?"

He shakes his head. "No. No, but—"

"Aemond?"

The voice is familiar, and you don't stop enough to think before you're turning to the low, clear voice that's just a hint of husky, and Alys' green eyes go wide at your appearance.

She's dressed nice, dressed to go out in a black dress dipping low and fabric tangled around her body to show off her curves. Her inky hair was swept to one side and her mouth was bloodred.

Alys Rivers, owner of Aemond's firsts. The woman he seemingly can't let go off.

You smile. It feels fake. "Oh. Hi Alys."

Her shock staves off into a genuine smile that makes you guilty. "Hi, my love. I see you two are together. Always attached at the hip. Dinner?"

Before you nod— or maybe strangle Aemond — he comes forward, taking your hand in the process and lacing it. He's looking at her as if he's setting a challenge when Alys' eyes fall on your intertwined hands.

"Yes," he says. "We are."

"Well... that's good. This place is great. I—" Someone calls her name, she turns back. You shoot Aemond a withering glare you hope conveys how much you're going to beat his ass after this. She turns back, smiling still. There's a pinch between her eyes but it's gone by the third blink. "Well, I have to go. I'll see you both soon, okay?" She turns to you, stepping forward, not minding the Targaryen beside you. "Especially you. We haven't hung out in a while."

"That's true, I've missed you, you crazy witch." And she laughs and you smile, because you genuinely consider Alys to be one of your friends. Not maybe as deeply as Helaena's, or as close, but Alys was an amazing person and you enjoy her company.

Plus, right now the one you're angry about it solely the man holding your hand.

Alys turns to Aemond, and he stiffens. Between them is a complicated look. So many things unsaid, before her smirk softens. "It's nice to see you too, Aemond."

And she turns away, walking back to her table, to her date, when you tug him with you to the bar. As you order a dry martini, he speaks. Calm and soft.

"You're mad at me."

"You knew she was going to be here." You turn to him, arching an eyebrow, hating the way your chest pangs. "You stalked her and brought us here because you wanted to use me."

He shifts, face crumples at the word 'use' and calls your name in a plead. "It's not like that."

You snort, taking a sip of your drink when it arrives. "Don't lie."

"Okay. Yes, I did. I... I made an impulsive decision because I wanted to see how she could go on a date as if we were nothing." Bitterness cripples his words, the smirk on his lips is ironic and darkened in hurt. Your heart hurts for him, but you can't give him a pass just like that. He hurt you too.

"You could've told me."

He raises an eyebrow. "You would be okay with this?"

Your own smile is ironic and darkened by hurt. "You're already using me, Aemy. That was the deal I agreed, for Hel. It would at least lick the wound to have been in the know, and not, you know, got shot in the face with it."

At the first part of your tirade, he looked like he wanted to argue with the using part, but the realisation weighs him because it is true. To him, he is using you. And it's a cheap shot on your part because you were also doing this for him, out of your own free will.

You sigh when he turns away, guilt dipping low.

"You're such a dumbass."

He hums in agreement.

You're aware of a gaze from the tables, somewhere in the ocean of jazz music and chatter, Alys is looking, and you kinda wanna make this good for him. You were already here after all.

Your hand reaches his jaw, sliding across his neck until you reach his nape and fingers tangle with the baby hairs there. His hair had been wrapped into a bun. Sleek and fluffy.

He turns to you, to your touch, in shock. "What are you—"

"Try not to look so surprised," you whisper, stepping close to him until your noses are bumping. "We're supposed to be dating."

And then you slant your mouth against his.

TAGGED: @fan-goddess @snh96 @valeskafics @opheliaas-stuff @tempo-rary-fix @fantasticpeaceharmony @diannnnsss @iamavailablesstuff @spinachtz @at-a-rax-ia @bespinnn @tsujifreya @moonlightfoxx @kemillyfreitas @joyouart @bananzaa @honey-on-mars @alexa4040 @cinnamonbambii @wintrr13 @wxb-slingrr @astroswift @queenofshinigamis @helaenaluvr @kaetastic @jxdegodfrey @laniii-on-your-left @watercolorskyy @snowprincesa1 @gemini-mama

#aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen #aemond fluff #aemond smut #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x you #aemond x reader #hotd x reader #hotd smut #hotd fluff #elle writes !! ꒱ ↷˗ˏˋ🍒#hotd fanfic #aemond one eye #tshbft ༊*·˚ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ

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elsa-fogen · 1 month

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You don't really strike me as one who's much for ships, more just cool and fun character dynamics (like qpr RadioRose)

So I'm a little curious over what ships you actually do like

Also curious over your thoughts on one-sided RadioStatic?

I'm glad that you got my vibe right lol

I had really few OTPs which i shipped absolutely myself and not because i wanted to support my friends, and hazbin has none of them

Charlie and Vaggie are cute but for me they're really dull. I mean, maybe in next seasons their relationships will be explored more, but i really would love to see how they came to what they have now! For now they're just generic couple with no interesting dynamics, at least for me

OH OH OH THERE'S ONE SHIP I LIKE!!! Adam and Lute. And it's a total shame i haven't drawn anything with them! Thir dynamic is really fun, and I'M 100% CONVINCED THAT THEIR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER WERE REAL. Like. Look at Adam, he's dying, but he puts on a brave face just for her. Lute is CRYING because of his death! God i want Adam to reappear as a sinner and then him meeting with Lute. I want a villain song for Lute. I want to see her planning revenge OHH AM I WEAK FOR REVENGE PLOTS OHH. I WANT TO SEE HOW HER WORLD IS FALLING APART WHEN SHE SEES SINNER ADAM! I want her to question her loyalty. I want to see her conflict with herself. Damn they are such a cool couple. I love them.

But i guess my love for them is too overshadowed by my love for Alastor. Oh Alastor. He relly makes me smile.

So, one-sided radiostatic. Or radiosilence, i saw that name and i liked it.

Honestly it's just hillarious. I really love that joke that Vox confessed his feelings to Alastor and it was the readon why he disappeared for 7 years LIKE LMAO, BRO IS SO ACE THAT HE WOULD RATHER DIE. I like seeing jokes about Vox being obsessed with Alastor and Alastor who couldn't care less. Bonus points if Alastor DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON. THIS IS TOP COMEDY.

#hazbin #hazbin hotel #guitarspear #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin lute #hazbin hotel lute #hazbin ships #alastor the radio demon #onesided radiostatic

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hamliet · 17 days

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What do you think of Huskerdust as a ship? Do you think they’ll be a healing and safe place for each other or do you think they will be more angsty in season 2?

It's OTP. But for your question:

Let's be honest, Husk is going to mess up. Angel casting longing glances after him when Husk is turned away this season = Husk doesn't know that Angel is falling for him. Angel has been used in hell; Husk has used as a soul gambler.

Now, I don't think Husk will take advantage of Angel in any way. I see Husk's issue as being probably unable to understand that Angel is really falling for him, genuinely--especially since Angel kept coming onto him as a form of self-harm earlier. Probably out of genuine feeling, but Angel has 0 idea how to express attraction in a healthy way and is only just starting to learn how to do that.

I'm not entirely sure where Husk's arc will go, but I wonder if he's going to struggle with the idea of self-love. I don't know that he'll trust that Angel genuinely loves him, and I don't know that he'll see himself as someone who is good for Angel even if the feelings are mutual. Husk strikes me as the gruff "in denial" type, but I could be wrong about this. We'll see.

It's just that Angel's protection mechanism is pretending he's FINE thank you and overcompensating for his self-loathing with acting like he loves his situation in hell and has it all under control. Husk is the opposite: he's okay with being a loser, which is good because that's exactly how he challenges Angel to grow: by accepting that he doesn't have to be in control or winning all the time.

Considering their names and symbolism, I wonder if Husk might have a hard time accepting that he can be more than, well, a husk. That he doesn't have to stay a loser, or that he can be both loser and "angel,"and an Angel can choose him.

But yeah. That's speculation. The tl;dr is that I expect Husk to break Angel's heart for a bit, only for them to overcome it together in a thematic and climactic moment that depicts everything HH is trying to say about love, redemption, forgiveness, and grace.

#ask hamliet #huskerdust #hazbin hotel husk #husk #angel dust #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel meta #hazbin hotel theory

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mrs-monaghan · 2 months

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There's a jikook blogger here and I don't want to mention her name but she is saying that jikook might agreed to be in an open relationship...hooking up different people when they both are apart from each other for long bcz of work and that is why that woman was in his house in that leaked video..and that also may be why nothing between jikook seems changed bcz obviously jimin knew about it that his boyfriend was hooking up with someone bcz he was busy with his work.

Okay.

So i don't have any problem with people who are in an open relationship if that's what it suits them but personally...i can't ever handle being like this with the person i love so much..and let them have sex with anyone they want if I'm busy somewhere for work. Obviously I don't know jikook personally at all but The things they have both said about love for years...it's hard for me to swallow to even read something like this about them..even if it's just an assumption.

Yes it can be possible that they both were never in a relationship to begin with and hooking up with different people but to think that they were and are in a relationship for years but having sex with anyone they want just bcz they're busy somewhere but still love only one another...i just can't imagine both of them like that.

It's my personal opinion and I want to know yours too Shaz!! Pls reply

...Thank you.

It is of my personal opinion that an open rlship is simply not in the books for Jikook. Not even something they would ever or have ever considered. In the past I've mentioned how I could see Jimin giving JK the option to go explore and see if Jimin is who/what he really wants (since Jimin was his first everything) but I believe thats as close as it came to involving other people on their rlship.

Other than that, I simply disagree with everyone who claims they're in an open rlship or have ever been with other people.

It simply doesn't line up with who they are as people and their possessive/jealous behaviour over the years.

#ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for arguing with someone over ships?

🧀⛵ so i can find this later

Yes, this is ship discourse AITA #294729472 you can scroll away, english isn't my first language, my apologies.

So I (16M (But 13-14 at the time)) am in a very niche fandom. As in, we didn't have any new content for the past 5 years and media is old af (2013), very few fans, most of us know each other already.

I used to have these mutuals Cheese (Not their real name) (around my age i think?? I can't remember) and Breadstick (Not his real name) (18M).

We all had our little ships, ok? I like the little (dumbass golden retriever boy) x (badass traumatized man) ship, Cheese liked the little (badass traumatized man) x (literally the same thing but evil and abusive) and Breadstick liked both ships.

I met Breadstick before meeting Cheese so we were already friends before i met Cheese. I thought "Cool, another person likes this little niche thing i'm hyperfixated on!" So we became mutuals.

I didn't anticipate that we would argue about ships, but oh well. So, i'm a very chill person regarding ships, literally any, although i do have NOTPs, i'm not really toxic about my hatred, i just go "Ah, not my thing" and scroll away not without blocking the person, but really nothing personal and no hard feelings, i can perfectly be friends with someone who loves my notp.

In fact, that was the case with Cheese. They shipped my NOTP, like A LOT. But I was okay with it, i mean these are just characters and all we're doing is being silly. I didn't take this THAT seriously. However, when I seemed to talk about my ship, Cheese seemed uncomfortable in some way.

When I was talking about my fankid (call me cringe idc) of my OTP, Cheese got very confused and asked who was i talking about. Breadstick came in and introduced my fankid to them, since he knew about it before. Cheese just started being rude, literally saying swear words (Not against them but, the context didn't really call for it? No one was being mean or mad), saying, and i quote as best as i can, "I don't know what the fuck made you think i knew who the hell [Fankid] was".

I got very mad about it, so i privately dm'ed Breadstick about Cheese's attitude. We began trash talking about them, which, i admit was a very trashy thing to do and definitely asshole material™.

Reason why may i be the asshole: over time, Breadstick just started complaining a lot about Cheese, and I could honestly agree, it came to the point of us disliking them to some degree but not telling them and not breaking the mutual, that could be considered two faced behavior.

This was partly influenced because of another incident. So Cheese and Breadstick where rambling about an OT3 (3 person ship) they had in common, basically sharing ideas and stuff. I thought it would be fun and went "Hey, I have an OT3 too, maybe i should post about it too". So I went and posted about it, but Cheese felt very uncomfortable with that, since basically my OT3 was exactly like Cheese's OT3 but one character is different, "basically".

They said "You have your thing, let US have ours". Felt bad and honestly, maybe i shouldn't have intruded their ot3 rambling. I didn't expect such negative reaction out of them.

In other occasions they complained about me posting a little too much about my ship, even though they did the same thing with theirs. And they also had a mutual that said "If you ship [this character] you suck and i fucking hate you. [character] is too abusive to be shipped with anyone and you can't just make an AU, that would just change him as a character completely" which, dear god, that language wasn't needed, right?. And despite that crazy person saying that, Cheese agreed with their take, despite literally shipping the character in question with another one. And abusively too, which like you do you, lord knows i do that too, but agreeing with a take like that while doing exactly what it is complaining about is weird. On the other side, that person wasn't my mutual, so it's unrealistic of me to expect Cheese to control their mutuals over me, Cheese can mutual whoever they want, but i can still be weirded out right?

That is without including them telling other people to kill themselves over shipping, so it was clear that Cheese took this shipping thing seriously while me and Breadstick to some degree didn't. Honestly another reason why i might be an asshole, clearly they felt their otp was personal and me not liking it + ignoring it caused a bad environment, mala mía, but what else could i have done?

So, clearly Cheese is kind of an asshole to some degree. But i think what makes ME an asshole too is when I trash talked behind their back and cut them off way later than i should've. And also, i guess i shoved my ship down their throat taking by how mad they were about it? I didn't do it intentionally though and i could definitely say they did the same thing too when 80% of the fandom and character tags was them posting about their ship. Again, small niche fandom for old unpopular media, we are keeping it alive ourselves.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #ship discourse #posts that make me crave one of those lil cheese dip breadstick snack packs #which i have not eaten in roughly uhhhh at least a decade and a half #but the taste. you never forget that taste

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sgiandubh · 3 months

Text

The Year of the Red Herring

I kick the brakes for a couple of days - lo and behold, we instantly have some well planned ahead kerfuffle!

The Saturn Awards are not the BAFTAs. Yet, because the end of The Strikes is still fresh, there were many people (Real VIPs, Wannabes and the Has Been Crew) on that red carpet: Nicolas Cage, David Cameron, Patrick Stewart, that Data guy. And also (oh, sweet Mother of God), Shitner - albeit I have no clue if he brought along his Cryptominion, Paul C. All in all, I have to say that despite the Big Names listlessly loitering on that Red Carpet, at the Los Angeles Marriott Burbank Airport, it was a rather sad and contrived affair. Smart for S to not show up, less smart for C to not even thank those people for her *** strongly promoted bought (yes and I stand by this POV: they needed it for the sale, of course - wake the damn up!) award.

At this point in time, there seems to be an odd & rare consensus around this fandom: she DGAF anymore. Various reasons are being peddled, according to each and every one of the fortunetellers' agenda. Either she is on an imminent propelling path to fame at bullet speed (unlikely) or she is focusing on her current projects, life and recovered freedom after OL (my take). Her cinema/TV projects still sound unconvincing to me (same goes for S, before you start screeching: don't, it's unpleasant and uncalled for). But at the end of the day here's probably the truth of the matter: the only thing we know is that we don't know anything at all. And these reactions speak volumes about this fandom's dynamics only, adding little (to zero) valid and useful content.

But then lo and behold, we have some BOMB news. With not one, but two sets of fresh-faced, perfectly unknown Young Turks and a Plot Twist that Herself apparently gobbled like cod liver oil. My only cynical bet is revolving around the intensity with which *** is able & willing to sell an OTT artificial ship, in order to deflect attention from the 'Crazy', Inconvenient, but Obvious OTP.

First to jump in will be the Rabid Tumblrettes, who also make the bulk of the Gay Crowd (people who don't know the difference between a barista and a barrister, for example) - perhaps the least (ahem) subtle and most predictable subset of this fandom. And that surely will help pave the way for a decent audience score, at least for the first couple of episodes (will S narrate something? - it's always been about S, at any rate). The carefully curated blogs already see to it, with a subtle shift to BOMB in their reckless scouring of social media - true colors showing, perhaps and an order is seldom questioned, let alone discussed.

Will I watch? Of course I will, but with zero expectations, zero emotional investment, a pang in my heart and a cynical eye. For if perhaps a hefty chunk of humanity is preparing for the start of the Year of the Wood Dragon, I am afraid we already started the Year of the Red Herring, in here.

#fandom #shitshow

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marmorafarms · 1 year

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Maybe 14 and or 33 with Seb for the otp prompt?👉👈

I really enjoy Reading your writing, especially your HC!💖💕🙇thank you for your hard Work💖

What about both in one fic hehe

And thank you so much! You are so sweet! I'm so happy you like my writing and my thoughts about the bachelors! 💖

14. "If you do that one more time I don't think I'll be able to control myself."

33. "I don't want them I want you."

I hope you enjoy!

Seb x female reader

18+ for a very suggestive scene. A tiny bit more than suggestive, actually. No true smut, but I could be convinced to write a second part...

Three months.

This had been going on for three fucking months and Sebastian was tired of it.

Or, wait, hold on. Sebastian sure thought it was obvious he liked you. It seemed like everyone had gotten the memo except for you.

He knew he didn't have a right to feel that way. It's not like he was official with you or anything. Sure, it was obvious that you two were into each other, but you weren't an item. You hadn't even kissed!

Maru had approached him, bluntly asking if he liked you, Abigail, or both. Sebastian had been thrown.

"Maru, you're my favorite sister and everything--"

"I'm your only sister."

"Right. Well anyway, I have a tight deadline and I really can't afford to answer your weird ass questions right now." Sebastian typed away on his computer, but didn't fail to see Maru's eyes narrow.

"You're avoiding the question."

"Maru I don't like Abigail!" Sebastian had said, exasperated. "I haven't liked her for a year now. You know exactly who I'm into."

Maru nodded, looking thoughtful

"I only ask because she seems convinced you are head over heels for Abigail."

Since this conversation, Sebastian had been trying to figure out how best to make sure you knew he liked you. And then it hit him. A bouquet!

Quickly, he rushed to Pierre's, practically throwing his money at the man before snatching the flowers. He didn't walk, but ran to your farmhouse, hoping against hope you were there.

Sebastian didn't see you in your field of crops, and jumped when he heard his name called out. He turned, and saw you by one of your silos, clearly having just filled it up.

He walked with purpose over to you, bouquet hidden behind his back. Sebastian wasn't convinced that you hadn't already seen it, but hey. It was the romantic thought that counted, right?

"What are you doing here?" you asked, looking surprised.

"I have something for you," Sebastian said.

"Oh?" you asked, head tilting like a confused puppy.

Sebastian took a deep breath in, and then presented the flowers with a flourish. You simply stared, and his heart pounded.

"Well, say something!" Sebastian said.

"This...but..." you said, looking flummoxed.

"But what?" Sebastian asked, annoyed that you hadn't taken the bouquet from him.

"I thought you liked...others," you said softly.

"Others?" Sebastian said, frowning.

"Like Sam. Or...or Abigail," you said, not meeting his gaze. Sebastian let out an annoyed huff, causing you to look up.

"I don't want them, I want you!" he said.

Your eyes were as big as dinner plates, and you took the bouquet from him with shaking hands.

You took one step forward, and then another. Gently tilting your head, you placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"I accept," you said with a smile.

Beaming, he kissed back. But this one wasn't innocent. It was full of passion and desire. He pressed you up against the silo, lifting one of your legs and wrapping it around his hip. He rocked his hips against you, and you moaned into his mouth.

"Fuck Sebastian..." you panted.

"That's the idea," he said with a grin. He rocked his hips against you, more forcefully this time.

"If you do that one more time, I don't think I'll be able to control myself," you said, locking eyes with him.

"Outside? Against the silo?" Sebastian asked. "You wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?"

#sdv sebastian #stardew valley #stardew sebastian #stardew #sdv smut #sdv fanfic #stardew fanfic #stardew valley sebastian #stardew sebastian x reader #stardew smut #my writing #asks

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zabiume · 2 months

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ichihime is my otp but i wish kubo did more to show ichigo developing feelings as the manga progressed

that's reasonable, but i can't necessarily claim to understand it, mainly because of how i perceive romance IRL and in fiction as an aroace person.

i'm not even going to pretend to understand romantic love in real life, but in fiction at least, romance has a purpose because everything in fiction is purposeful, no choice is accidental etc etc. mainstream media, in that regard, has usually pushed the idea that romance is the pinnacle of all human relationships, and i guess the reason i liked bleach or found it particularly subversive for the year it was written in was because it notably...didn't do that.

there is romance in bleach, but it is not the highlight or focus, and is only supplementary. adding that to the fact that this is a typically romance-averse genre, i doubt kubo ever intended to display romance in a way we're conventionally used to seeing it—confessions, kisses, hugs, proposals, dates, etc. even with married couples like isshin and masaki/kaien and miyako/byakuya and hisana, we don't really see the actual marriages—just the important "milestones" of the relationship (how they met, the sacrifices they might have made for each other, and even then, these relationships are used to drive the plot forward). i've been reading kubo's answers on klub outside lately, and they're very illuminating in terms of how he approaches romance and/or writing in general. see: the answer where he talks about how he considered including a scene where isshin and masaki (mainly masaki) name ichigo together, but eventually decided against writing it because it would be "too lovey dovey and that's gross" (lol).

the bizarre thing about kubo, though, is that this should technically make him extremely bad at romance in general. and i know people who would and do argue that he is, but i personally enjoyed all the canon romances over the course of the story, and i could feel the passion/tenderness/affection that the couples in the story have for each other, simply because kubo is good at body language and portraying relationships of ALL kinds between the characters. whether it's the love between nakama and nakama, parent and child, student and mentor, you do feel that these characters really feel for each other, so the romances aren't any different (to me).

and this is a pattern with kubo's writing in general! he constantly see-saws between extremely bizarre and bad takes on writing (AKA his boob fixation that shows up repeatedly both in the series and in his answers on klub when asked about female characters) and surprisingly good ones (like him saying writers often complain that female characters are hard to draw/write because they can't understand women's feelings, but women's feelings, like men's feelings, are difficult because feelings are difficult in general. very apt for a series that's all about people dealing with their own complicated feelings and relationships! i know it isn't radical or revolutionary to say women and men both have the same feelings and that writing a Female Character isn't any different from writing a male character, but considering his contemporaries (shonen male mangakas aged 40+), he is practically Enlightened in his response here lmao.

my point is that, reluctant as he is, he doesn't do a bad job with romance as a whole. compared to many ships and marriages in the same genre bracket, i would say ichihime is doing far better. even though it's the notorious girl-has-a-crush-on-the-boy trope, you don't ever feel like orihime gets too punished for it the way a lot of girls do in this genre, just giving and giving and giving but receiving very little in turn. ichigo is generally very attentive to her, they're friends who only get closer over the course of the series, they're...friends (which is funnily a lot more than a lot of other couples get sadly), they have a variety of fluffy/angsty/silly/hurt-comfort-y scenes spread out pretty evenly across all arcs, and ichigo does often return orihime's care for him in his own, magnanimous way.

if we're looking for explicit signs, then i guess we don't really get ichigo spelling out that he has a crush on her. and if that makes ichihime less plausible or likeable to people, that's fine. but to me, ichihime has always been about subtlety, about this tentative, nervous way two people might reach out to each other, hoping the other understands them. ichigo softens up around orihime, and i joke that he's always got one ear on her because of the way he pays attention to even the slightest changes in her mood. i don't want to spend too much time "proving" what ichigo feels or doesn't feel because that's a journey we get to take and interpret as individual readers, but we can't deny that their relationship is very tender because of...ichigo and not orihime. orihime is soft with everyone. ichigo is, usually, 90% of the time, prickly with everyone. so him softening up around her, to me, was one of the many things about their dynamic that "proved" to me they'd be a good romance. just. the way ichigo was around her. also, between plot-important developments (like ichigo and orihime going from struggling to stand on the battlefield together, to fighting, however briefly, as partners; or ichigo learning to lean on the people in his life), and feelings stuff (maybe ichigo reflecting on his romantic feelings for orihime), i would definitely prefer to get the former and interpret the latter. it was important to me to know how exactly ichigo and orihime were going to navigate the fact that ichigo was too overprotective and orihime was too weak, but it wasn't important to me to see them dating or proposing or whatever. it would have clashed rather horribly with the narrative/thematic/genre concerns of the series as a whole, cute as it might have been to see, and i might not have ever been as hard of an ichihime shipper as i am now if the series ended after lust, and not after horn of salvation. the development of their dynamic (and orihime getting the recognition she deserves from him as an equal) was more important to me personally. most of the times, when i'm writing fic, i draw from the actual manga panels of them before they were dating anyway, so i don't think they'd be too different AFTER.

LASTLY, i do want to point out that ichigo catching feelings for orihime later does not at all diminish the weight of those feelings. maybe he had a mild crush in the soul society arc (if that's how you want to interpret it), or maybe he developed one later on during the HM arc/FB arc, but maybe he didn't realize he could have crushes at all until after yhwach was gone and he got to have more than a few weeks of peace at a stretch. this is the same boy who, at 15, thought kissing a classmate was a "big deal" and none of his friends were ever dating either, so it completely makes sense to me that these things weren't on his mind. it doesn't diminish orihime's importance to him, or his feelings for her, it just makes him a typical teenager who is going through...a lot in the already-turbulent stages of growing up. his feelings could just be a thing in the background, simmering, unconscious, not really evident until he grows up and starts thinking about things like who he likes spending time with, who he might want to spend his life with. the important thing is that we get all the build-up laid down (which we did get, considering how long the ichihime subplot is). the resolution is up to us!

that's not to say i'm diminishing your feelings or whatever, but this is just how i see it! i never understand when people say something is romantic "enough" because i think romance is an elusive concept that is defined based on extremely personal criteria for proof. is ichigo's love for orihime "enough"? i don't know! for me, the various moments between ichigo and orihime were enough to solidify their potential romantic relationship in my head. someone else might need to see it to believe it. we're both valid, as long as we're just enjoying ourselves and not being mean to someone else who perceives things differently! :D

#me: *types all this up*#also me: ichihime is the greatest thing ever #all ships are great ships if i ship them etc etc #ichihime #asks #if you're reblogging this please be normal and do NOT start ship disk horse in the tags...b..lease...i beg #i am an adult with a job i don't do that shit

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