#our life today

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[lesbaurinkos]

pigeons mate for life

#thinking about steve and scraggy on this fine tuesday lads… i miss them i hope they’re doing well out there #(head in my hands) guys. pigeons literally mate for life. #this was just a warmup cause i wanted to draw some birds and now ive made myself emotional about the state of it all HOPE THAT HELPS! #anyhow hope everyone else is doing well today. im listening to my suitemate argue with her bf on the phone. save me dip and pip. #dan and phil #dnp #phanart #AND OF COURSE. TO RECLAIM OUR FORMER GLORY #phan

[mrrwsoup]

🕯️ valentine & silas ⛪

#furry #furry art #headworld #silas #valentine #oc #boyfriend oc #it is our anniversary today so i am thinking about the rodents that brought us together... #we first started talking to make yaoi ocs for fun (these guys are the result) and now we have so many oc pairings and are boyfriends...wild #i love my boyfriend and life is good

[becca-e-barnes]

Sub Bucky and a breeding kink 💀 dead unlived it's one of my favourite things 😌

This is pretty high up there on my list of dream fantasies 🥵 these are two of my biggest weaknesses, don't even look at me rn

One of life's greatest joys is cuddling with the other person's head resting on your chest so you can play with their hair and rub their shoulders. I love that shit, having someone else's body weight on you is so comforting.

I imagine that's something Bucky would really enjoy too. It's so soft and sweet and tender and getting to feel cared for would really appeal to him.

But that's up until his hands work their way under your top, up over your bare skin so he's able to cup your breasts and bury his face between them while he's getting his hair played with. Life's pleasures don't get much simpler than that.

After a few moments he shifts slightly, tugging the neckline of your shirt out of the way to give himself space to kiss and nip your skin. All of a sudden he's desperate and it's beautiful to watch.

"Please." He whispers between frantic kisses, flicking his tongue over the stiff peak of your nipple before engulfing it with his warm, eager mouth.

"Please, what?" You tease, tugging on his hair just a little for emphasis.

He groans, frustrated by his own lack of coherence, pulling his mouth from your nipple. "Please let me put a baby in you."

That's not what you were expecting but fuck, he makes it sound pretty appealing.

"Bucky-" You begin but he cuts you off, giving your other nipple the same attention as he gave the first. God, that's distracting.

"You'd make. Such. A pretty. Mommy." He whispers, kissing his way down your body until he reaches the bottom seam of your top. From there, he pulls it off, letting it fall to the floor before removing the rest of your clothes.

"You'd look so pretty with a little baby bump." His huge hand rests on your bare tummy, imaging how your body would change.

"I want it, Buck." You mean it too. It doesn't sound like such a bad idea when he's taking his clothes off.

"I know you want it." He groans, rubbing the tip of his dick against your soaked core. "Y-you're so wet."

He presses his hips forward, sliding inside you and you can't explain it but you swear it feels different this time.

"Don't even think about pulling out." You cup his face in your hands, keeping his eyes on you and you almost worry he's going to fuck himself senseless into you. "I want you to make me a mommy. You're going to give me every single drop of cum and when it starts to drip out of me, you're going to fuck it back in."

His head falls onto your shoulder, sobbing a pathetic moan against your already hot skin. The pace of his thrusts matches his need, his hips slamming into yours and when he finally gives in, he cums inside you with your legs clamped around his waist, making sure he couldn't pull out even if he wanted to.

#asks answered <3 #becca writes spice #anon #sub!bucky #subby bucky #this is one of those fantasies that's nice in my head #I think I'd like to be at that point in my life but it's absolutely not where I'm at rn #maybe some day tho #I started writing a new series yesterday #making a lil moodboard #excited to post the concept #can't decide if I want each chapter to feel like a continuation of the one before #or if I want the chapters to be more detached from each other with time passing in between #might actually space it out over a weekend? #I took my lil granny out for lunch today and she's just the cutest #she usually comes up to ours for Sunday lunch but my parents were out this weekend #so I made her dinner last night and took it down to her and I asked if she wanted to go out for Sunday lunch for a change #she made me book the table right there in front of her so she'd be able to look forward to it 🥺 #I sat with her for over an hour yesterday evening and she smiled nearly the whole time #she's too cute I swear

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[hotteacocoa]

I was watching a woman interview pro-life marchers, and one of them was holding a sign that said “four of my siblings were aborted. Choose life.”

This marcher said she was raised in a family of pro-abortionists, and the siblings before and after her were aborted because the mother “wasn’t ready” at first, and after she gave birth to the third baby, the mother just “didn’t feel like going through another pregnancy.”

That alone hit me so hard. But the part that hit the hardest was when the pro-lifer said “the reason why I was had is…because I was the more conveniently timed one.”

Why do we have to boil down the lives of children to one’s “convenience”? Why? This poor girl has 4 siblings who have no graves, no dates, nowhere to mourn or place flowers, all because her mother chose to think of herself before her children.

It’s so sad. It’s so so sad.

#Why have we become so selfish? #Why have we become so immoral? #So cruel? #… #Why? #Why do people refuse to try to adapt to unexpected situations? #If we just started realizing that we can overcome difficulties then maybe all these babies would still be alive today #If we started being responsible adults then maybe we would actually evaluate our lives before having sex and potentially getting pregnant #pro life #choose life

[nobieka]

Asher is explaining the fnaf lore to them

#olnf #our life #our life now and forever #olnf fanart #qiu lin #tamarack #tamarack baumann #olnf qiu #olnf tamarack #olnf oc #olnf mc #im on a roll with my art today haha it wont last long

[buried-in-autumn-leaves]

#this is all i got for you today #holding this. like a small bird. or a burger perhaps. #i am tired #our life #gb patch games #olba #our life beginnings & always #derek suarez #nico suarez #nicolas suarez

[rui-drawsbox]

incubus baxter, no nsfw today sorry guys (lol)

#just feeling silly today #rui draw smth #his 'never experienced tender and meaningful affection before mc' still works for this au i hate him 😭 #the anyone/anything is bc he def crossed monsterfuckers before #our life: beginnings & always #our life #baxter ward #olba #you can also ignore the horns and think of this a vampire au too dkjsafhkjsa

[sherlockig]

#look at this babe #pls look at him #have you seen him today?? #i relate to izzy in this scene #i would also just sit in a chair and watch stede in this outfit #good life decision for once #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #rhys darby #darling honey light of my life

[cosmicretribution]

hmm something im wondering a little about-- how high is the overlap between the hermitcraft/traffic/empires fandoms? so out of curiosity, how about this:

(*regarding the hermitcraft/empires crossover, if you watched the crossover but don't keep up with the other series outside of it, then please pick the option for the series you 'main' ! )

#hermitcraft #empires smp #life series #third life #trafficblr #gonna be honest i dont know what the proper tag for traffic/life is in this case. the branding nightmare continues #brought to you by. conversation i had with my sister umbrify in the car today #curious to see whether or not our hypothesis is correct hsdkfjs #mcyt

[mobius-m-mobius]

OWEN WILSON as DON in LOKI S2x05 | SCIENCE/FICTION

#mobius #owen wilson #marveledit #lokiedit #mcuedit #loki #loki spoilers #still giggling and kicking my feet over him ngl #like real talk life WON'T go on without our mobius in it but that doesn't mean i'm not down for don as bad as loki was #he was gorgeous kind asked the important questions and wanted tf the hot stranger who definitely followed him home on sight #an icon we need and deserve 🙏💖 #(did i gif this today instead of finishing my lokius 2x05 set just bc i noticed his shirt rode up a little?? y'all know the answer 🤣) #don #owenwilsonedit #marvel #dianagifs #loki s2 spoilers

[sunflowerpin]

knocked out cold after studying

#our life #our life beginnings & always #cove holden #ol cove #ol mc #our life oc #our life: beginnings & always #cove x mc #Jamie last #my art #it's also my birthday today 💕💕💕

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

Are you still active on tumblr?

YES I am!! Sorry friends for dropping off the face of the earth, I got a job and I had to move and it was a lot. But I am less stressed now and I hope I can get back to posting more regularly!! I really missed it (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

I will never leave tumblr because there is no other place on the internet where I can tell people that 80% of the time when I try to introduce myself to someone in the office that I haven’t met yet I get so focused on smiling and holding eye contact that I forget the part where I actually have to introduce myself (°□°)

#HELLO FRIENDS #how are you!! I missed you! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #I hope you all had a good summer!! #mine was very nice even though there was a lot of stress and new things happening #suddenly there were so many adult things in my life that at the end of the day I just sat on the couch and watched decorating shows #I love decorating shows but today they showed this decorating competition and one woman had to decorate her whole bedroom coral #and then I knew it was time to go back #friends I've done so many new things the past few weeks!! I've really underestimated what this new chapter of my life would be like #it's very nice and I'm glad but I've never thought about things like insurance and taxes and parallel parking before #and I'm in a new apartment and everything!! ✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧ #it is a very good apartment but the landlord left us so many of their chairs #this does not sound like a problem but we also owned chairs before #so our chair number is doubled now #the kitchen is full of chairs the balcony is full of chairs #I've hidden two chairs behind the TV but I can still see their chair heads and then I feel bad because they do not deserve this #they should be roaming free #also rode a BIKE #they say you never forget how to ride a bike #but my secret is that I never really knew how to ride one #in Germany all students have to do a bicyle test in fourth grade and I was so bad that my teacher asked me #afterwards if I had tried to confuse the other students #I just said 'uh yes' and then he said ok and I passed with the worst bicyle grade of the whole school #I hade made 8 bicyle mistakes #I hope you're doing well friends!! see you soon!! #have a nice day :)

[angelmush]

it looked sooo pretty outside today :)

#the community garden across the street was being cared for (even in winter) by my neighbors #it’s the first day in a long time i came home from work and the sun was up still !! #it was so rosy #got greeted by my dog and my gf and the cat : #life is good even when it’s hard :) #i packed a lunch for me and for lauren and braided her soft hair before bed and sometimes i just want to cry with love #my therapist is helping me find a surgeon for top surgery and i got referred to a pain management specialist by my doc today too #and work was easy and slow today #i can’t sleep rn bc my pain is sooo bad so i’m tucked in the living room knitting w the snoring dog beside me on our tiny green couch #im so sad and so happy lol #personal

[julykings]

this week eek eek

#second week of teaching Done Tuesday felt like public humiliation but today was actually gooood I think !!!!!!! #and I’ve been having fun experimenting with fun techniques #my bf and I found our new fav restaurant and new fav margs hehehe it’s become our weekend thing #also I cooked with brown beech mushrooms for the first time .. life changing #and a former prof came to visit me before class he’s so good to talk to and really gave me a confidence boost / pep talk lol !!!! #personal