#perfection cannot be reached but i still wanna be the top of the tops
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im yours. bucky barnes x afab!reader || b.b.
pairings: bucky barnes x afab!reader
synopsis: the power goes off in the tower, leaving you to try to stumble down to the living room where everyone was told to meet.
warnings: she/her pronouns used, cursing, both reader and bucky are teases.
tonight had been more than amusing, but also tiring. leaving your saturday night to tony's plans was definitely a choice that you cannot stop making. to give him some credit, his parties are definitely fun, and hanging out with everyone on top of that, too.
but- it always leaves you sprawled out on your bed with the dimly lit television the only thing lighting up your room, other than the obvious street lights.
your head was pounding and your body ached, nothing could quite help that especially with how little you care to help yourself.
that's when the tv shutoff. at first you suspected it was just a glitch of some sort and your groaned as your reached for the remote.
it didn't turn on, even after the 42nd time of pressing it. you took it upon yourself to glance out of the window, moving your curtain slightly to peer out.
none of the city had any sort of power outage.
weird.
the next thing that came to mind is one of the idiots are pranking you.
your eyes roll at the thought. how selfish could they be knowing that you were trying to rest? maybe tony got too drunk and decided to fuck around.
you settled on just going to find out for yourself.
wow, gotta thank tony for not giving out any sort of flashlights.
you use any force you have left to rise yourself from bed. your muscles ache and you wish this didn't ever happen.
the pitch black darkness didn't help you either, everything you knew was there you bumped into causing you to let out a string of curses and you were sure anyone in a 30 foot radius could hear it.
you eventually find your way into the hallway, thankful for some sort of light from the windows.
you get a text, feeling your phone buzz in your pocket.
you open it to read Tony announcing that he had infact overloaded some sort of something and he's going to have to fix it, so everyone was to meet in the living room.
"perfect." you sigh out, annoyed.
not only is that the furthest from you but you knew it would be at least a few hours until it's fixed.
you turn around to the opposite direction, failing to notice the plant at your feet.
"fuck." you grumble when your foot makes contact with the pot.
you whince, trying to walk on it but failing miserably.
"seriously? you’ve lived here for how many years, and you still can’t find your way around without the lights off?” you hear someone laugh behind you.
"don't wanna hear it right now, bucky." you mumble.
his demeanor changes and he pushes himself off the wall to catch up with you.
"what's wrong, doll?"
"oh nothing, just having an amazing night." you retort, sarcastically.
he almost audibly cringes at that, first no nickname, then the sarcasm? something is definitely wrong.
he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking and pulls you towards him, embracing you in a tight hug.
" 'm not letting go till you tell me what's wrong, doll." he mumbles into the crook of your neck.
you relax at his touch and he notices, rubbing incoherent shapes into the dip if your back.
"just real tired, buck. went too hard on myself during training today 'n partied a little too hard."
you loved it when he hugged you like this, the contrast of the cold metal and warm body was only something he would let you know of, well and Steve.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. you really gotta tell me when you feel like this. coulda been helping you." he whispers, rubbing your back and hips. " 'specially since I know how you are. always neglecting yourself. doll, you need a break."
and before you know it he picks you up. on instinct you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling his arms hold your thighs.
"what are you doing?" you quiz as you feel him start to walk, not fast but enough to get you guys going to the living room a couple stories down and on the opposite side of the building.
" 'm not letting you walk, just go to sleep doll."
you don't push it more than that, dropping your head to his shoulder with your arms loosely above his, feeling yourself drift to sleep.
you wakeup from the ambiance of your friends talking, feeling yourself slouched against someone on the couch. the lights were still well off, and you were sure it had only been maybe 30 minutes.
you raise your head to see a couple of candles lit here and there. it was enough to see everyone scattered across the living room, Bruce and Nat were chatting on the opposite end of the couch, Steve and Sam sound asleep on the floor, Thor was also sound asleep on the recliner, Pietro, vision and Wanda were sat on another couch watching something on their phone, and you suspected Bruce, Tony, pepper, and rhodey were trying to fix the power somewhere around the tower.
that's when you panicked to look around for bucky, eyes darting around the living room.
"right here, sweetheart." he chuckles.
you turn too see that you were definitely straddling him as you had been when he picked you up.
your lips quirk up trying not to laugh at yourself. instead you slump back against him, hiding your face in his neck.
"embarrassing." you mumble.
"it was cute." you can practically hear him smiling.
"you think so?" you tease, bringing your face up just a few inches from his.
his face flushes and you smile.
"sure know how to shut me up." he whispers not to bother the others. "be mine."
it was unexpected, although it's the only thing that's been on both of your minds for awhile.
"sure know how to shut me up." you whisper back with reddened cheeks.
he nudges your face up with his pointer finger, his face even closer than before.
his eyes dart from yours to your lips.
"say the word and I'll stop."
his hand doesn't leave your chin, but instead slides to the nape of your neck to draw you closer until you feel his lips on yours.
your lips move together like puzzle pieces and it's something you two have been waiting for and dreaming about for eternity it felt like.
you pull away despite you both not wanting to, either way you two are still around the rest and it cannot get further than that.
your foreheads rest together, both regaining the breaths you lost.
"please be mine." he whispers just so you could hear.
you lay back against him to fall back asleep.
"I'm yours." you whisper back.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#x reader#james bucky buchanan barnes
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lots of us having a rough day huh? i feel like all of my problems would go away if i could just press my tits up against abby’s 😔 either while we’re just cuddling or messily making out 🫶
ohhhh yeah I need this ,,, this went farther than expected ,,,, hooray for the first official farmer abby smut on my blog <3
who says it's not both??? farmer abby is so ..... yeah. yeah. I can't stop thinking about her. @pinknightsinmymind we have More (also do you want me to tag you on all the farmer abby stuff? I just wanna make sure you also get credit on it bc we're Moms <3)
just like, it's hot as all hell, even at night, and she cannot be wearing clothes rn. she's only wearing a pair of boxers, her tits out and her happy trail showing, miles and miles of beautiful freckled, sun-kissed skin on display as she lays on the couch after a long day of work.
you're walking around in just a bra and panties, also not willing to deal with the heat because it's so bad but you want to cuddle with Abby so bad :(
so, even in the heat, you climb onto her lap, straddling her and tucking your head into her neck, humming when her arms wrap around you.
"It's so fucking hot Abs :("
"Mhm, and yet you still wanna cuddle," and she's just teasing of course, but her voice is so low and raspy, her soft southern drawl really coming out, that you're suddenly wearing too much clothes.
"Don't be mean :( can you undo my bra, baby? It's uncomfortable," You whine, pulling your torso off of Abby just high enough so that she can pull your bra off after she undoes the clasp. She's drooling at the way your tits spill out, sweaty and soft and squishy against her chest so prettily when you lay back down.
From the way you're slumped on her body, your tits are squished against hers, your nipples brushing hers every time you wiggle around. It's all so fucking hot and you look so gorgeous in the low light of the living room, Abby can't help herself when she soothes her hands up your back and tilts your head up to her lips, pressing lazy, languid kisses to your lips.
You whine into her, arching your back and pressing your chest into hers even harder, making her moan into your mouth and grab at your thighs, grinding you against her thigh. You can feel her happy trail rubbing against your tummy, the muscle of her thighs – her achingly sore thighs – grinding against you and spreading your pussy lips apart through your panties.
"Fuck, you're so pretty baby, making a mess on me already," Abby whispers against you, voice needy and desperate with the way you shove one leg in between hers, grinding it against her pussy through her boxers. She looks down, eyes locking onto the way your tits press into hers and she moans, tipping her head back and giving you the perfect opportunity to decorate her neck with pretty hickies, one hand scratching down her tummy and toying at the happy trail above her bush.
"So good to me Abby, mm, so pretty, so hardworking, gotta reward you."
She's whining now, hips bucking against your leg even harder, loving the softness of your thigh combined with the wet fabric of her boxers on her needy clit. You're not much better, grinding against her harder and harder, mouthing at her collarbones and leaving a messy splotch of hickies on the freckled skin. You two get closer and closer, pawing at each other's bodies and leaving scratches and bruises wherever you can reach.
Abby feels herself about to tip over, and she grabs at your ass to grind you into her harder, using her other arm to press your tits into her more, moaning into your mouth as you tremble on top of her. You both cum into your undies, pressed tight against each other's thighs, cunts leaking and creaming and clenching around nothing.
"Fu- Fuck, so good sweetheart, did so good," Abby gasps out, slurring her words as she sits you both up, arms shaky as she props herself up, your fucked out form on her lap. You think she's done for the night, think she's about to get you both cleaned up and ready for bed, but she surprises you, making you clench in anticipation.
"Gotta fuck you darlin', gotta feel your pussy against mine."
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geordi n cutie (moreso geordi) cuddling headcanons
(because i'm sick of only having angst on my feed)
so lets start off with the basics
geordi is the BIGGEST cuddler like
ever
when hes next to cutie on the couch or the bed
IMMEDIATELY wrapped up beside them
and its the cutest thing on earth
like hes got blankets pulled up and asking cutie if they want snacks
do they need water
literally whatever
hes the whole package
he is going to make sure they are both comfortable when they cuddle
checking in w/ them constantly
making sure they’re not too hot or cold
giving them kisses
like
SO many kisses
forehead
the cheek
neck
anywhere he can reach he’ll kiss
UGHH hes so sweet i hate him/j
those weren’t really basic (they were) but anyway
was kinda arguing with myself bc i couldn’t really figure out if geordi would be a big spoon or little spoon
and honestly
he dgaf 💀
he couldn’t care less
literally as long as they are within close proximity
there won’t be a single complaint
if cutie wants to be big spoon: 🫶
if cutie wants to be little spoon: 🫶
he absolutely adores being wrapped up with them
especially in winter
AND ITS SNOWING??
holy shit he just blew up
like he just exploded
cutie being an empowered mf and being able to produce fire (and
whatever else)
their body can and will be used as a heater
all i can think about is them laying down on the couch
hot cocoa (or your preferred drink in the winter) on the coffee table,
still steaming
a heavy ass blanket on top of both of them
cutie laying on their back with their arms thrown around geordi’s neck, occasionally kissing the top of his head
or one hand in his hair (also big hc of mine: geordi has curly hair), playing with it and softly pulling out small knots
as geordi is literally in heaven with his personal oven, body on top of cutie’s with his arms circled around cutie’s back
his head on on their chest, listening to their heartbeat as they watch home alone for the 46th time
EWW theyre so gross i wanna eat them
moving on from that
i also feel like geordi is super playful
he bites
affectionately
he cannot contain his love
his absolute infatuation
to just bite them
AND ITS SO RANDOM
like its not like he’d be kissing cutie n then it would turn into bites
its just out of nowhere 😭
nd if cutie isn’t reading his mind
omg i forgot about cutie actually being able to read minds bye
ill get onto that later
BUT
when cutie isn’t in geordi’s mind
they literally jump
its not like he was trying to bite a chunk out of them
but still 💀
also if cutie decides to get up during any of their cuddling sessions
he will drag them back
he’ll have a war in his mind about being clingy or too much
but he’ll still drag them back
especially when they just got comfortable??
like where tf are u going?? 🤨
i love my silly little overthinker
OH
and back to when cutie’s in his mind
its mental warfare
specifically early into the relationship
imagine the first time they’re cuddling
jesus
he’s actually panicking so bad
like they barely get situated
and he’s just
“oh my god”
“oh my god”
“what am i doing?”
“why am i doing?”
“where do i put my hands?”
“is this an awkward angle?”
“i can’t”
“why is this so difficult??”
“they’re so warm”
“and they smell good”
“ew now you sound like creep”
“but they’re my partner?”
“don’t care, still weird”
“i’ve done this before, why can’t i just”
“..just what?”
“just, i just want to just”
something like that
but his thoughts probably go silent when cutie cover both of them in a warm blanket n snuggle up close to him
his mind literally goes blank
hes so smitten its crazy
but later down the road he’s gotten more accustomed to cuddling and doesn’t question his life after a single hug
he gives cutie small praises in his mind
especially after they’ve had a long ass day at work
he’s willing to help them relax
drinks, something to eat, words of affirmation, kisses, massage, bath
anything for cutie to be at ease
all in all hes perfect and i want him
if somebody out there is exactly like geordi hmu 🤭
i think thats it, that was such a brain dump
i need myself a geordi within the next 2 minutes or else im gonna implode/srs
i have so much in my brain its insane
probably gonna post more since im on break 🤷🏾♀️
#redacted geordi#redacted cutie#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redactedverse#im so obsessed with them#help
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Training
⇴ pairing: jeong yunho x f!reader
⇴ genre: smut
⇴ words: 1.2k
⇴ warnings: unprotected, yun is a little mean, oral (f!receiving), name calling
⇴ a/n: this is a re-upload! feedback is accepted and welcome, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my work! if you’d like to be on my taglist, lmk. if you’d like to see more of my work, check out my masterlist!
You cannot believe you’re working out with Yunho right now. You hate working out. Currently Yunho is training for Ateez’ comeback next month, he’s got to get “more” into shape as he says. You couldn’t not complain when he said that, saying he is perfect as he is. But he insisted, so you decided to join him to make sure he doesn’t push himself over the edge.
So here you are, doing push-ups, side-eyeing Yunho. Little do you know he knows exactly what you’re doing. “I see you, little one,” he speaks without even looking at you. He’s looking down, unwrapping cloth around his hands from boxing. You can see the sweat rolling down his face from across the room.
“Hey, I’m not doing anything!” you whine. Every time he calls you ‘little one’, your heart (and core) warms up a little. “Oh, really?” he questions teasingly, walking over to you. Even the way he walks makes you crazy. Once he reaches you, you sit up, looking up at him with a small pout.
“You know, you’re so cute struggling to do your little push-ups,” he giggles. Your mouth drops open, “You’re teasing me!” You can’t help but stand up, trying to intimidate him. You soon find out that was a mistake. You look up to see his dark eyes upon you. “Oh sweetheart, there’s a lot worse things I could be doing to you right now instead of teasing.”
You gulp and ask quietly, “Like what?” He stalks towards you, watching as you step back, hitting the table with water behind you. “Wouldn’t you like to know, little one,” he smiles in a sadistic manner, making your blood run cold. Truth is, you and Yunho have never had sex. You yourself have never had sex. But every time Yunho says these things to you, it makes you want more.
This time though, you want it to happen. And you can tell by the look in his eyes, that it is. His hand comes up to your hair, moving it to the side. He looks directly into your eyes. “Do you want me, baby? Do you want my fat cock in you?” Your eyes widen at his dirty words, the prospect of having him take you for the first time scares you, and yet you want it more than anything.
“Please,” you whimper out, hoping he’ll just give you what you want. His hand trails down from your hair, to your face, down your neck and chest, all the way to your hips. He tightly grips one side. “Please, what?” You’re quick to answer, “Please, Daddy.” And then and there, you got what you wished for. You’ll soon regret it.
He grabs your other hip and pulls you up on top of the table, laying you down amidst the water bottles. “Oh angel, you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.” His hands work quickly to dispose of your clothes, you barely know what’s going on. You can only lie there as he stares at every inch of your body, eyes hungry for you.
Yunho can’t help but dive into your pussy, tongue swirling around your clit. But before you can even react, he holds down your arms and legs, making sure to keep you in place. All you can do is lie there and take it. The feeling is indescribable. Your moans fill the room, making Yunho go crazy at the sounds. He goes even faster after hearing them, making you shake.
You can feel the heat in your stomach, you know you’re about to cum. But unfortunately, Yunho knows as well. He immediately stops, making you cry out in disappointment. “Daddy, please, please let me cum,” you beg. But there’s no point. Because he has other plans in mind.
“You think after all that, you’re gonna cum on my tongue and not my cock?” He looks at you lying there, still slightly shaking. “Oh no baby, I wanna see how that cunt feels wrapped around me.” He quickly pulls you down the table, right against his hardened cock pushing against his boxing shorts. “You feel that, angel? That’s what you did. And now you’re gonna take it like the cockslut you are.”
He hurriedly takes off his pants, eager to feel you around him. You’re a little scared, but you know he’ll take care of you. Right? As soon as he lines up his cock, you look down to see it. Holy shit is it huge. You didn’t realize how a cock could even be that big. But it’s too late, cause he starts pushing the tip in and you just take it.
The feeling is overwhelming. Once he hits a certain depth, you feel a shot of pain. Tears spring to your eyes, and you reach out for him. “Daddy please, it hurts.” He immediately looks up from where you’re connected to check on you, but soon you realize that sympathy is just a disguise for perversion.
He coos at you, eyes filled with softness. “Oh angel, is my big fucking cock stretching you out too much?” he asks softly. You nod, hoping he’ll take it much more gentle. But then he pushes himself even further in with a harsh thrust. You moan out in a mix of pain and pleasure. “I don’t care. You’re gonna take what I give you,” he grunts, feeling your pulsing cunt sucking him in.
Tears roll down your face at the pain, and the roughness he’s giving on your body. You can’t help but wrap your arms around his back. But before you can, he again pushes you right back down, arms pulled over your head. “Look at my little angel, all fucked out for me. So fucking cute,” he says as he thrusts his cock harder and harder into you. The pain quickly turns to pleasure.
“Poor little thing can’t even take my cock,” he coos again, groping your breasts. He leans down to suck on your neck. You can already feel the bruise forming. Faster and faster he goes, making tears fall down your neck. Your cries fill the room, out of pure pleasure. And that’s when you feel it again. You’re gonna cum.
This time, he lets it happen. Your body just lets go, shaking uncontrollably in his arms. You feel his warm seed shoot in you, him letting go of your arms. Your eyes are closed, body too exhausted to function. His hand comes up to wipe off your tears. Your body slowly relaxes as he rubs your arms and wrists.
All you do is lie there as he wipes the tears, sweat and cum off you. “You okay, angel?” he asks quietly. He’s so gentle you could fall asleep, which is a stark contrast to minutes before. You can only hum, arms wrapping around him as he picks you up and brings you to the bathroom.
“I’m sorry baby, I just couldn’t help myself,” he explains softly. You don’t care. That was honestly the greatest thing you’ve ever experienced. You just close your eyes and he gets you dressed, humming in pleasure as he kisses all over your face.
The rest of the night is filled with ‘I love you’ whispered to each other in bed. You reassure him that it couldn’t have been better. He promises you the next time will be more gentle and loving.
I do not give permission for anyone to repost my work
#Ateez smut#Yunho smut#Yunho#Ateez#Ateez Yunho#jeong yunho#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#kpop smut#ateez reactions
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Always Been Mine
Warnings: none, just fluff
John B and I run down the hallway when we finally reach the fifth floor. Nurses and staff shout at us but we keep going. I couldn’t miss this.
“1224! 1224!” John B shouts at me as I run ahead of him.
“Sir! You cannot run down the halls!” A nurse shouts just as I hear a blood curdling scream. I can’t miss this. All I did was take an early morning surf. I was only gone for an hour. I finally see the number on the side of the room and I see Kie and Sarah standing next to her bed when a nurse suddenly dives in front of me.
“Are you family?” She demands, not letting me past. I see the top of Y/N head and she screams again.
“Yes! Move!” I shout, trying to dart past the nurse but she doesn’t budge.
“Are you daddy?” She snaps.
“Yes! Yes I’m daddy!” I shout again and she finally moves. I lock eyes with Y/N then I look down, seeing the baby - my baby - in the doctors hands. I stand there staring at the gunk covering baby while they wipe it off and make sure it’s breathing. I can’t breathe.
“Do you wanna cut the cord, daddy?” Someone asks and I take a step forward, unable to form words. Someone hands me a pair of medical scissors and I cut the tough umbilical cord.
“Do you wanna hand her to mommy?” Someone asks and I find myself nodding. Her. It’s a girl.
She’s quickly wrapped up in a blanket and a pink hat tucked over her beautiful dark hair then she’s in my arms. It’s like I have tunnel vision and I can’t hear or see what’s going on around me as I stare at the perfect face of my daughter. Mine.
She’s stopped crying and I assume it’s because she’s warm now, her cheeks pinking up. I want to know what color her eyes are. Does she have her mommas eyes?
Someone grabs my elbow gently and I look down to see Kie, smiling softly and walking me to the side of the hospital bed. Y/N looks beautiful and exhausted, tears streaming down her face as she looks at us. I want to kiss away her tears and make her pregnant again.
“Hi daddy.” Y/N says softly. I can’t help but grin at her, placing our daughter in her arms for the first time. I tip her chin up and kiss her perfect lips, content for the first time in my life.
“I love you both so much.” I whisper, fighting back my own tears. She hiccups a sob, resting her forehead against mine.
“I love you, too.” Y/N says, kissing the tip of my nose.
“I’m sorry I missed it.” I choke on a sob and she shakes her head.
“You didn’t. You’re here and that’s all that matters.”
Our baby makes a cooing sound and my heart melts. I didn’t think there was anything she could do that I wouldn’t love.
“I want to sign the birth certificate. She’s mine.” I say, never being more sure of anything in my life. Y/N cries harder, nodding and kissing me again.
“You’ve always been mine, too. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.” I kiss her again and she sobs against my lips.
“We still have to name her.” Y/N finally says after a content moment of silence. I caress my daughters chubby cheeks, smiling to myself.
“Well it has to be something we can easily yell. You know she’s going to give us hell.” I tease and she laughs.
“I like Summer.” Y/N finally says, leaning her forehead against mine.
“Summer Reign Maybank. I love it. And I love you.”
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WKA, in your infinite wisdom, please tell us who has done the very best hand work in bl this year
Ok first of all, I asked for nice questions, SHAN. NOT evil, personal attack, make me choose questions.
There have been many many many great hands in BL this year, and my categorization for them depends on what exactly we are looking for within them.
I wrote the most essays about hands for La Pluie, who I do think did hands extremely well when it comes to demonstrating character's. Patts changes in pressure and sensation versus Tai's fingers being stiff in their first make out session, and then Tai changing it up a bit in their sex scene now that he's had some practice. Patts' thumb wiping cum from Tai's lips, etc. and that wasn't a show that I would say had heavy focus on hands, just good work that I noticed mostly going on in the background.
gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul
In terms of some of the best subtle ones, I would say Sing My Crush, which had some excellent hand work, and precisely a million screen captures, but were ones I didn't really notice while I was watching it.
gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul
In terms of shows that have had a hand focus, the fucking oil scene from I Feel You Linger in the Air was a perfect demonstration of hand work. There are so many shots of hands in this show and every last one of them is absolutely stunning. Removing Yai's tie, massaging Jom's eyebrows, the way the lesbians hold hands, it's all incredible.
gif from @pharawee (using the only hand moment in the oil scene that will most likely not get this post flagged mature lmfao)
And then I will give a shout out to Moonlight Chicken, both for the absolutely beautifully shot scene of Heart and Li Ming's hands climbing up each other, thumb to pointer finger. But also because sign language is a language of hand movement, and sign language is such a vital part of the story.
gif by @firstkhao
Another currently airing one that I think uses hands well is Only Friends, which similar to La Pluie doesn't feel like it is actively trying to do a ton of hand close ups, but whose use of hands is brilliant for how it demonstrates character. For example, how often Boston points directly at people because he's fucking rude, but Mew can't point directly at Top when he's fighting with him.
gif by @btwinlines [i know objectively this is not as strong of a hands gif as the others in this set, but I legitimately cannot find any other gifsets that shows Mew fighting with Top, and this gif does show that Mew points down and to the side of Top, which I love for Mew still not being able to be fully rude.]
Finally, special shout out to Man Trisanu in Step by Step for possibly my favorite hand moment of 2023, which happens in Ep 7, Pat is crying and Jeng starts to reach out to comfort him, realizes that touching Pat is not appropraite, and pulls his hand back.
gif by @pharawee
OH GOD AND OUR DINING TABLE HAD ONE OF MY OTHER FAVORITE SMALL HAND MOVEMENT MOMENTS, WHEN YUTAKA FOR A MILLISECOND REACHES HIS HAND BACK OUT TOWARDS MINORU'S IN EP 8.
gif by @forcebook
And if you wanna know what hands I thought were the hottest this year from a show I'm not even watching.
Love in Translation
gif by @aejeonghae
Like, excuse me?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
#la pluie#step by step#moonlight chicken#only friends#only friends the series#la pluie the series#sing my crush#our dining table#bokura no shokutaku#i feel you linger in the air#ifyl#ifylita
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this hurts so bad SHE SAYS NO
poor fras is so confused bc are they still together? he doesn’t know what’s going on
- cole anon
He appears at their hotel room a few hours after the ordeal, having taken a drive around to give both of them space.
He had no idea what to expect, were they even still together?
When he entered the room he found her lay up on the bed in her pyjamas, a pair of shorts and a top that no longer fit with the bump half out the bottom but he never told her that.
“Hi” he mumbled, pulling her attention from the tv to him.
Her eyes softened “Hi”
He shifted nervously “can I come in?”
She chuckled softly “Fras it’s our room of course you can”
“I just don’t know where we stand” he stated simply, sitting on the couch not far from the bed.
She sighed, rolling out of the bed to waddle over to him “I think we need to talk”
He braced himself, expecting the next words to be that of pity for him.
She grabbed his hands “I was really rude earlier when I just walked off Fraser I know, but you cannot just propose to me because I’m pregnant that’s so mean I want you to want to marry-“
He frowns “you think I asked you to marry me because you’re pregnant?”
Her brows furrow “Yeah?”
Fraser reaches into his jacket and pulls out the box “Babe I’ve had this ring since the day you came home to Vancouver with me… it was never about the baby”
“But.. you said for our future?”
“Yeah? It’s gonna be nice to have the perfect family my wife and our son?”
She felt stupid, tears welling up in her eyes “I ruined it… oh my god fraser!”
He pulled her into him “It’s ok”
“It’s not!” She wailed “I wanna marry you and I said no, like a child!”
“You wanna marry me?” He asked into her hair and she nodded while whimpering
“I do, fraser I really do”
“Then marry me… be my wife”
She pulls back to look him, checking he’s serious “I’ll be your wife”
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Prettiest of them all —Drabble
Pairing: MCU! Peter Parker x Female! Reader
Summary: Horny AF 3am writing with no plot
Genre(s): smut, fluff
Warnings: dom! reader, sub! Peter, riding, semi-unedited work
A/N: I really can't decide if I like this or not, I just really need to fuck Peter Parker, any of the three will do
𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗
REQUESTS CLOSED
THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CANNOT USE MY WORK
Reblog if you like
You chuckled so lowly it was almost silent, "Believe me, you're prettier Peter,"
Your lips very softly pecked his, so gently, so delicately, so incredibly torturous, testing the waters of something you've always had the answer to. He took a deep breath, eyes still closed, and fluttered them open only to find yours completely doe-eyed for him.
"Really?"
He had no time or mind to regret his hesitant words now.
You impulsively scoffed at his naiveness, "Fucking Christ, you're perfect," the words quickly slipped before kissing him this time, really kissing him. A shaky hand reached for your waist and stopped right before getting under the fabric. Yours, however, firmly slipped slightly under the collar of his shirt, your ring and pinky finger resting on his collarbone.
His breath has been perhaps quicker than his heartbeat, so much so that he seemed to have no oxygen to make his forehead leave yours.
You cupped his face slightly caressing his cheek, "How's that for your-" you had to admit you were also lacking air, "for your first kiss,"
"Great, y- yeah, that was great," he couldn't fathom coming up with anything more.
You both giggled.
He felt your skin slip out of his shirt and your thumb being placed on his mouth, he soon realized his eyesight was blocked once again, but it didn't matter 'cause for the first time in a while he felt safe, and you were making an effort for it as well. The small, yet very significant contact was reassuring, comforting, and sweet, it was his first kiss after all; he didn't admit it, but you quickly figured it was his first encounter of such nature as well.
"Are you okay?" You whispered after a few seconds of silence.
He just nodded.
"Was-" he cleared his throat and snapped out by facing you once again, still not breaking the closeness, "Was that good? The- the kiss I mean," he subconsciously played with the edge of your top mistaking it for his.
It was your turn to nod now, subconsciously biting your bottom lip, still savoring it. A little clumsy and nervous, maybe a little tense, but kind and soft nonetheless, it was refreshing to not have to kiss a guy who was rushing for something more.
You noticed his flush moving all the way to the top of his face now, spreading pretty quickly.
"You wanna do it again?"
"Yeah-" he cut off himself.
You grinned against him, now more surely pulling him closer by his neck. God bless innocent Peter Parker for only hugging the waistline of your shorts. By the time you began to play with the bottom stitches of his shirt you made sure to look at him, lips free just in case he wanted to stop, he received the message, loud and clear, pulling it off his chest, over his head and not dropping it yet somewhere across your kitchen, he only allowed himself to release the thought of having it to put back in when you reached for his hands to interlace your fingers.
"You sure you wanna do this?"
'Remember it always Peter, consent is fundamental for any human interaction' his aunt's words couldn't have resounded louder.
"Yes, you?"
He smiled, "Yes,"
He helped you jump off the counter and let you guide him through the living room, the hallway, and into your room. You sat him on your bed after helping him to get rid of almost all of his clothes, you let his finger tips travel your body as he watched you undress yourself and seemingly make a whole show out of it. You had every urge to enjoy yourself just as much with him, but that would be for a different time, maybe even a different girl, you made peace with it, after all, this wasn't about you, it was for him.
He very visibly swallowed a groan when you stranded him, you kissed him more passionately this time, attempting to spark a bit more initiative, you confirmed it worked when you felt a little more strength when grabbing your hips, fingers tempted to go down further.
You let out a moan when feeling him completely hard, both your arousals grew bigger. He now confidently traced his lips down your neck, he looked up at you lightly biting the top of one of your breasts, after verifying you liked it, he repeated his action on the other side of your chest. You braided your hands into his hair soon after he began to kiss and suck your nipples.
He saw you after a little while, swollen lips, a thin thread of spit hanging from both places, you cleaned it with your thumb, and then bent down to join your faces.
"Are you ready?" You mumbled.
"Yes,"
With his help you removed his last piece of clothing. Now, if it were any other guy you would effortlessly reach for a condom in your nightstand, however, you decided to be bold and choose not to.
"I'm on the pill, so, don't worry about anything, okay?"
"Okay," he let out lovingly.
You stroke him a few times before beginning, and smoothly sat down, you gasped, he moaned. 'It's always the shy ones' you thought. Although by this point completely consumed by pleasure, he still managed to have his eyes filled with awe for you.
He recovered his strength after a couple seconds, you jumped a second time patiently, he couldn't help but hide his embarrassment in the crook of your neck, your hands reached for his biceps as support.
"Go faster, please," he muttered at the edge of your ear.
You granted his plead, making your actions less paused between one another, you couldn't overwhelm him. You accidentally let yourself fall harder, failing to shut an almost pornographic moan out of you, he just felt too fucking good.
"Oh my god," you couldn't hold the sounds any longer.
He cursed under his breath and began to repeat your name like a prayer. He was close, you could hear his voice weakening by the second, you proceeded to whine his name on his lips to send him over the edge, not long after, he came undone moaning yours.
#peter parker smut#peter paker fluff#mcu! peter parker imagine#mcu! peter parker fluff#mcu! peter parker smut#mcu! peter parker x reader#mcu!spiderman x reader#mcu!peter x reader#mcu!peter parker
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Nico hischier is so husband material. Like literally does anything for you. Your back hurts? He’s making you lay down so he can massage it.
I am missing sweet Nico. I’m going to use Nico and Lexi here to get the maximum sweetness. Hope you don’t mind 😘
Warnings: Swearing, Flufffffffy
Grittiness fill my eyes as I lean back in the elevator. I am returning for the first time after a long weekend shift at the hospital. My work as a pediatric nurse is feeling less and less rewarding these days. My feet are killing me. I’m so tired that I cannot even think straight. As the doors open, I cringe, remembering the state of the apartment when I left. Nico had been gone on a road trip and I didn’t have time to clean anything up before I headed for my shift. Now, he’ll be sleeping and I’m so exhausted, I don’t think I can muster any energy to clean. I’ll have to apologize for leaving our communal space such a mess.
I fumble in my bag, trying to find the keys to the apartment. I dig and dig to no avail. I’m getting increasingly frustrated, tears building in my eyes. I drop everything in my arms to the floor including my large, Yeti water bottle. I lean my head back towards the ceiling, resisting the urge to scream at the top of my lungs. I am toddler level overtired. I need to get inside before I lose my shit completely.
The lock flips suddenly and the door opens to reveal Nico.
“You’re up?” I say startled.
“Yeah! Couldn’t wait to see you.” He grins, lunging forward to pull me into his arms. He feels so good against my tired and worn body. I turn my nose into his neck, inhaling the scent of him. He smells like fresh body wash and his hair is still slightly wet. I kiss my way up his cheek as his lips trace along my collar bone. “Hi baby.” He murmurs.
“Hi Neeks. I missed you so much.” I keep my arms wrapped around him so he is stuck leaning down to hold me. His hands massage into my worn back muscles. I melt into his body. I can feel his smile against me as he moves his hands down to the backs of my thighs. He guides my legs around his waist, holding me up with one hand on my butt and gathering my dropped bags.
“You tired?”
“Yeah and stressed. I had a hard shift.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Do you want to go right to bed?”
“No, I wanna hang out with you.”
“Okay, I’ll bring you to change.” He drops my bags by the couch then continues down the hall so I can change. “Actually, you should take a shower.”
“Do I smell?” I jolt back from him subconsciously.
“No. But I know you will feel better after a scalding shower.” He kisses my lips. “Hey, how did you get prettier while I was gone?”
“Oh stop.” I laugh, pushing his chest.
“No, baby, I swear. You were at 25/10 and now you’re a 30…?” He moves my hand away, grabbing my hips to pull me flush with him. “I should help you undress. That’s what perfect boyfriends do.” He murmurs, kissing along my jaw. I close my eyes, threading my fingers through his hair and surrendering to him again.
“Neeks…”
“I know, sweets. Just taking your clothes off. Nothing else. But.. you know I want to right?”
“Me too.”
“Good. After your nap.”
“Yeah.”
He chuckles, pulling the top of my scrubs off. My pants come next and then my underwear. I take care of my socks myself. Nico turns the water on in the meantime. I reach for my pony tail, but he beats me to it, unwinding the elastic until my brown locks fall down. “31 now…” He whispers, letting his gaze stroke against all his favorite places before coming back to mine. “Enjoy your boiling.” He leaves after one more kiss.
Nico is right. The shower works wonders. The hot spray pounds my muscles and relaxes them. My hair gets a fresh scrub and my body exfoliated. I take my time, doing some of my specialty skin care to feel as beautiful as Nico insinuated earlier. I am thoroughly clean, lotioned and content when I head into our closet. I pull on Nico’s clothes- a Devils shirt and pair of sweatpants that hang off my frame in a comforting weight. I stop for a moment, bringing the collar to my nose and breathing in his scent.
I run my hands through my wet strands to give them some volume while padding out to the main part of our apartment. My hand slowly falls from my head as I look around, realizing that Nico cleaned. There had been trash overflowing in the kitchen, dirty dishes in the sink. The counters were packed with pens and paper and mail and produce that was going bad. The living room pillows and blankets were strewn about. Laundry baskets of clean clothes made it impossible to use the whole couch. My eyes meet Nico’s.
“You cleaned.”
“Yeah, you were on shift.”
“And you were on the road.” He shrugs, going into the refrigerator and pulling out mayo. That’s when I realize he is making us lunch.
“I got home first.”
“I’m so in love with you.” I whine, coming to bury my face in his back as he finishes folding our sandwiches together. “Thank you.” I kiss along the indent of his spine, then rest my cheek there again.
“You’re welcome. And I love you more.” He turns at the hips, handing me a plate. “What do you want to watch while we eat?”
“Nothing. I want to talk to you. Tell me all about your trip.” I insist.
“It was a little rough.” He sighs.
“Tell me everything.” I say, crossing my legs on the couch and focusing in on him.
“We’re just… struggling.” He shakes his head, munching on a chip. “And I feel like I’m not leading well.”
“No way that is true.” I say after swallowing my first bite. His eyes meet mine. “You’re the perfect leader for this team. You were made for it.”
“Doesn’t feel like it right now.”
“I know you well enough to know you don’t want me to fix it. But promise me you’re being nice to yourself?”
“I am… For you.”
We talk more about the trip through the remainder of the meal. By the time I’m finished eating, I’m so exhausted my eyes can barely stay open. The stress and frustration I had before has melted away with Nico’s love. Now, all that is left is the tiredness and hungover feeling from the long, work weekend.
“You need a nap.” All I can do is not wordlessly in agreement.
Nico wraps an arm around me while we head down the hall to bed.
“You want me in here?”
“Yes. Missed your hot body next to mine.” I mumble. Nico pulls my side of the comforter back so I can crawl in. Once I’m settled, he tucks me in, then ghosts a hand lovingly over my hair. He closes the black out shades before turning on the air purifier for some white noise to drown out mid-day in the city.
“Hope you don’t mind, but I’m gonna marry you.” I admit with hooded eyes as I watch him round the bed to his side. He chuckles as he tugs his sweatpants off, replacing them with shorts. “Tomorrow work for you?”
“Sure, sweets.” I smile then allow myself to submit to sleep. Nico pulls me into his chest, adjusting us into the perfect sleeping positions we have learned over the months we have been together. His lips skim mine, then he waits, listening for my breathing to even out before he responds.
“Even tomorrow wouldn’t be soon enough for me. Love you, Lex. Forever.”
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Why so blue?
Prologue, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
tag list: @luciddasher @seashelldom @goblinerrant @belos-simp69 @d4rno @fandom-garbage @dakotali
Chapter Ten
hehe angst time
TW: swearing, attempted forced bond? (it reads a little non/conish so just be warned if your sensitive to that kinda thing.) death, violence,
The days past quickly for Quaritch. He'd been too busy to really see you more, barely awake when he'd stumble back in exhausted from the search. You were perfect to him at first, massaging his aching muscles and curling around him to rest. You'd sing gently until he fell asleep, or whisper stories about Spider's childhood. He'd promised to show you his baby photos once he could get a hand on them, which had delighted you. He'd lain with hands under his chin as you'd excitedly skipped over. Heart full to burst when you flopped onto his back, asking how tiny he'd been. As days past you withdrew, lack of time outdoors and only able to see Spider sporadically was making you sullen.
Things were difficult with Spider, the villages were refusing to give Jake Sully up, claiming no knowledge of him or his family's whereabouts. The kid had begged and pleaded to leave the people alone, threatening to tell you what he was doing. He'd relented somewhat, he'd never have hesitated to kill these people before but now he was trying to keep you both. He found himself feeling sympathetic to the faces of the natives, now so like his own. He couldn't risk either of you seeing what his job had entailed. It'd be easier once Jake was dead and he could keep you two on base somewhere. He ordered an animal shot, burnt their village down but they still refused. He left, catching Lyle's look of frustration as he did.
He'd ordered that Spider not be allowed to see you then. Once this was all over he could patch things up, until then better to keep at least one of you on his side. It wasn't easy, it'd been two days since you'd seen Spider and you were getting frustrated. He couldn't keep blaming the late hour forever, he really needed to finish this quickly. You bounded up off the bed as soon as he entered, rushing to pull him into a hug. You looked behind him, face falling in disappointment.
"Please Miles, he cannot be sleeping again already. It isn't like him to avoid me. What's happening up there." You held his arms, following to stay in his line of sight as he turned from you. He just sighed, kissing the top of your head and pulling you back into his chest.
"Soon, I promise. I'm just so tired right now, let's just rest sweetheart. I wanna hear about those pranks you two pulled on the lab coats." He moved to lead you to the bed with him, arms going taught, your feet stayed rooted to the floor.
"What's happened?" You wouldn't look at him now, your eyes stayed on the floor. He removed his hands from your arms and rubbed them down his face, he didn't want to lie to you but any part of the truth wouldn't help. He took his dog tags from around his neck, placing the onto yours. You looked up at him now, tears threatening to spill over.
"Please y/n, just a few more days." You head dropped, you lifted the tags to your lips kissing them gently before stalking off to the desk. Miles grumbled, this would have do for now, he lay back in his bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You thought you'd wake up with such a crick in the neck, you flopped your head down onto the desk to rest last night, not willing to go to Quaritch's side just yet. There was something he wasn't telling you, something about the search? Had he found them? Where they already dead? Was it Spider? He couldn't be hurt, there was no way Miles would be this put together if he had been. You were a knot of concerns and Miles would not elevate them for whatever reason.
You rolled over in your shared bed, reaching for him. He wasn't there, must have moved you over when he left, you thought. It was horrible here, you paced the small bare room, researched through all the drawers, napped. There wasn't even a window to look aimlessly out of, just 4 walls, a bed and a desk. The 'data pad' sat out on top of a pile of papers.
You'd never bothered learning to read English, so it took quiet a few tries to open the thing. It was confusing, just screens of text, pictures of Jake, pictures of his human face and one of Neytiri when she was younger, still at Grace Augustine's school. You kept 'scrolling' you'd watched Norm with these before, taping and swiping his finger to move to different information.
There was a dead animal. You dropped the screen, gasping in horror, before looking again. You recognized it from stories, a tulkun. An amazing creature, they were as smart as any na'vi, some likely smarter. This one was a dead in the water, its young tucked under a fin, luminous orange things pierced into its flesh. Human's had killed this beautiful creature, had this been what was upsetting Miles? Had Spider gotten angry and the humans locked him up? Spider may have tried to intervene! You had to go to him, you needed to get him away from those humans.
To your surprise the door was not locked at all. You'd never actually tried to leave so you'd never even checked but the mechanical door slid up the moment you pressed the button. You stepped out cautiously, would alarms sound? Nothing happened, you took a puff from your air mask and moved ahead.
You had no idea where Spider could be, if they locked him up where would cells be on this boat? You still held the data pad, scrolling around aimlessly. Hoping for something that could help, you froze. A village burning. The clan on their knees, the recoms pointing guns at them, and your Miles in front of the chief's mate pointing a gun to her head.
This was it. This is what he was hiding from you. You felt sick to your stomach, dropping the pad. It couldn't be real, he was changed, right? No, it was clear in the photographs. He was the monster Spider warned you about. That's why you had been kept from him, Quaritch was keeping you from the truth. Shame and sorrow flooded your mind, you felt light-headed as you stumbled your way forward. You had to leave, you had to get Spider and go home.
The scientist rounded the corner. You froze, you're eyes were brimming with tears and your face flushed with anger and betrayal. There was no way to play this off.
"You're not supposed to be..." You punched him, cutting him off and sending him sprawling to the floor. Two more humans rushed round the corner.
"Freeze! Don't you move!" You sprinted off diving round a corner before they could raise their guns to you. Shit, shit, shit, this was not supposed to happen like this. You leaped over a railing landing hard several floors down, humans scattered away as you rushed out.
"WAIT! Y/N WAIT!" Zdogs voice called out to you. You wanted to stop, to go to her but you saw her in those pictures. She torched those peoples homes, who knows what else she'd done that you hadn't seen. You couldn't trust her, she was a monster too.
You rounded another corner. Strong arms circled you, pinning you in place. You screamed, kicking out, cursing but you didn't budge.
"shhh, shhh, shh. You're okay, everything's gonna be okay." Quaritch's voice spoke softly into your ear. You froze, going limp in his arms.
"That's it, it's okay, it's all gonna be okay real soon." Zdog entered your field of vision, Mansk on her heals. You wailed out, sobbing openly now. It was all too much for you to handle. He was a murder, you loved him and he was a monster. Mansk stepped cautiously forward, looking up to Quaritch. You felt him nod behind you as Mansk quickly stuck you with a needle. You thrashed again, hissing and snapping at him, cursing him colurfully in na'vi. Black dots began to creep into your vision, you saw Lyle come into focus holding the discarded data pad before you passed out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You were still limp as he tucked you into his bed. Pulling cuffs from his belt he secured your wrists to the frame.
Stupid, he was so stupid. You grew up around human scientists for gods sake of course you could work the damn thing. He didn't know what he was going to tell you now, at least he didn't have to keep Spider away anymore. Now you both could hate him together.
He stormed up to the bridge, they'd tagged another Tulkun and he had to be ready for the Metkayina's retaliation.
Lyle blocked his path. He stopped inches from him, in no mood for whatever insubordination this was.
"What the fuck man."
"Move."
"No! Man, what the fuck is going on. I thought this was just some stupid game. These damn bodies making us act weird or something. You got a lil crush, huh? Think commands gonna let you skip happy off into the sunset? Or you planning on takin' 'em back havin' a big ol' white wedding. They're a god damn savage sir!"
Miles got up in his face, hand raised. Oh he wanted to hit him, he wanted to hit him till his face caved in. Wainfleet was right though, some stupid instinct was not gonna get in the way of his mission. If he had to live with this fine but he'd use all the cards he had. He had a plan for you, and once you were back in line you'd bring Spider back to him too. He was still gonna win this. He backed down, squaring his shoulders and in his most neutral military tone he spoke.
"Noted Wainfleet. We're headed to the bridge, we got a hunt on." Lyle relaxed, saluting him.
"Yes Sir!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This time when you woke you were met with pain. Your head felt like it was going to burst, the lights only making it sting worse. You tried to cover them, only for your hand to get caught. You couldn't see but you felt the familiar dig of the cuffs at your wrists. Groaning you turned your head into your arm. This was so much worse than before, you cursed yourself for not getting help in rescuing Spider back in the forest. None of this would have happened.
Now you were tied up again, Spider was who knows where and you felt betrayal burning you from the inside out. You wept alone in the room, pulling uselessly at the cuffs until your wrist bled.
Zdog came by. She strolled in like nothing had happened, chewing and popping gum as she walked around you.
"Made a right royal mess of this huh? Don't worry, you'll sweet talk our Colonel be right as rain by the morning." You ignored her, staring off into space.
"Helloooo... y/n" She came across, waving a hand in front of your face. You snapped teeth at her, hissing as she pulled back. "Hey, what the fuck!"
"You are demon! I should have never helped you!" You screamed, tears flowing again. "You kill and destroy everything you touch! I hate you!"
Her face flared, anger distorting her features. "They're just some dumb fuckin' animals, you people are all the same. Stupid fuckin' savages." She stormed out, leaving you alone again. You wept again, until exhaustion took you again.
When you woke next, Quaritch sat by your side. He was rubbing something onto your wrists, his expression pained. He noticed you then, moving his hand to your cheek. You tried to pull away, creating as much space between you two as you could but he followed gripping your face between his palms.
"I'm gonna fix this Y/n."
"You can't fix this. I'm taking my son and we're gonna get as far away from you as we can!" You spat out.
"OUR SON." He shouted suddenly. You flinched away from his out burst, frightened he might strike you. "Our son." He said softer, stroking your hair. You didn't like the way you still shifted into his touch. You caught yourself snapping at him. He sighed staying sat close but dropping his hands on to his lap.
"I want to see him!" You demanded.
"You will, real soon. Just something I gotta do first." You furrowed your brows as he reached up to you again. If he was gonna try to kiss you he'd better be prepared to loose his tongue.
In a swift motion he had your kuru and his own in his hands. You began thrashing around again, screaming for him to stop.
"Mawey, Mawey, I do this and you and I are bound. You'll understand what I'm tryin' do here okay. It's all gonna be okay." He thumbed the sensitive end, exposing the tendrils at the base. They searched blindly for something to connect with as Miles prepared his own. Your body stilled, terror washing over you. He was going to bind you to him, force himself into your very soul forever.
"Please ma Miles." He paused looking up to you, face stern. "Please don't do this." You pleaded, tears streaming down your face.
The moment stretched on and for a horrible second you thought he wasn't going to listen to you but he let go. Your kuru flopped back against you, the tendrils retreating, as you breathed a sigh of relief. Miles sat there a moment longer, staring down at his own kuru's tendrils, still swirling in the air.
"This is so fucked." He sucked his teeth a moment, looking back at you sullenly before leaving hurriedly. You were left there alone again, thoughts swirled, contradicting feelings, it hurt to think. You longed for the forest, for the days in the sun of your youth, hell you'd take last week at this point. Quaritch was right, this was fucked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were a lot of sounds coming from outside. Crashing, explosions, gunfire, you felt numb from all you'd experienced today. You didn't know what you were going to do. You were still bound to the bed and what ever was happening sounded like it was getting worse.
Whatever you had with Quaritch was crumbling away. You couldn't hold onto his memory without seeing the image of that woman on her knees. He was a monster, you couldn't love him anymore, it wasn't right. You wanted your Spider, you wanted him to tell you everything, to explain somehow. Or at least to confirm it, to let you sever the tie.
Zdog rushed in, swearing, slinging her gun behind her back. She rushed over to your side, fumbling to get the cuffs off.
"Don't fuckin' bite me, the ships going down we're getting out of here." She grabbed your wounded wrist, dragging you behind her. You stumbled after her, still feeling dazed. She'd come back for you?
"Spider, where's Spider?" You needed to get to him. If you were getting out of here it had to be with him.
"I dunno, he was up on the deck, then he swam off with the kids." She peaked round the corner, raising her gun as she went. You felt relieved, if he'd escaped with them then he'd end up with Jake, he'd keep him safe you knew it. Your eyes darted around, could you escape? You could leave, turn your back on all this and just be free. Was that what Zdog had meant? Was she taking you up on deck to free you or just to keep you hostage?
Zdog stilled ahead of you, gun slipping out of her hands and hitting the grating with a loud thump. She turning to face you and you screamed. A long arrow was embedded right through her eye socket, jutting out through her skull. A trickle of blood slipped down like a tear then she fell back, flopping lifelessly on the deck. Your blood ran cold, you couldn't take your eyes off her. Her joyous expressions, sneers, anger, laugh all cycled through your mind. They were all gone, her face limp, the light had already slipped from her eyes and blood began to pool under her head.
"Y/n!" Neytiri filled your vision, gripping your shoulders. You babbled, unable to form words. "Y/N! where are the children?!" She shook you, grunting and running off when you didn't answer.
You stumbled away from Zdog's corpse. Making your way past bodies, mostly human but some other recoms. Back up must have arrived, you couldn't help but scan their faces. Who would be among them? Would you have to see Lyle, Mansk, would you have to see Miles' bloodied form next.
The ship was tilting, making you feel even more nauseous. Water filling the lower decks unevenly caused the ship to begin to flip. You struggled up the edge to a railing, your mind too rattled to think straight.
"Y/N! Y/n over here!" Your mind snapped into focus, Spider! You followed his voice, eyes focusing. He waved to you, Kiri by his side just across from you on another platform. You climbed the railing, jumping the distance to land next to them. You pulled Spider to you, reaching out a hand to Kiri to cup her cheek. She smiled at you, touching a hand to yours. You pulled back to look him in the eye.
"I saw it Spider, I saw him at those villages, the people, the fire. He killed that woman." You sobbed, hugging him in close again.
"What? He didn't kill anyone? He burnt those places to the ground but..."
"But the pictures? The Tulkun?" You held him in front of you again searching his face. There was no lie there.
"He didn't kill them, and those humans went after the tulkun... look it doesn't matter! We'll have time to talk later, we have to go, the ships going down, the others are in the lower levels we have to help!"
"I can't swim like that Spider, I'm fast but not down there." You'd only swam the rivers before, staying on the surface. You'd searched for shining pebbles before but not as deep as the ship. You couldn't hold your breath for that long.
Spider hugged you again, pulling away he held your hands in his.
"It's okay, Kiri and I have got this! Just swim out past the fire, there's rocks, we'll meet you there." He tugged you down to press your foreheads together. You rubbed yours against his mask, pulling back and smiling to him.
"You make me so proud, save your friends." He grinned, running past with Kiri to help the others.
You dove into the water and swam. You dipped bellow the surface, swimming low under the fire that encircled the boat, till your lungs burned. You broke the surface, gasping for air. All around you was pitch black inky water, clouds blocking out the stars, you couldn't see any rocks. You pointed yourself to where Spider and Kiri had come from. You swam for a long time, your arms and legs burning, becoming heavy. The first blush of dawn appeared, it silhouetted a flat surfaced rock sticking out from the water. You crawled out the water onto it, no one else had arrived yet, flopped onto your back sucking in great lung fulls of air. Once you felt your heart calm down you propped yourself back up. You horizon was blank, the fire must have died , and the boat had sunk. You'd held him, your Spider was okay, his breathing mask would keep him safe underwater. You settled down, laying on your back again. Things would be fine, you'd return with the Sullys, you'd have to forget Quaritch and just live whatever life you could. You tried to rest, the rock nipped at your hip and the salt water still stung your wrists. You curled in on yourself, closing your eyes. Zdog's bloodied face flashed in your mind, you shot up. Breathing becoming unsteady again as her corpse haunted you. They weren't killers? Or maybe they had been? It was still too much to understand but you felt she couldn't have deserved that. You were alone for now, no one could judge, so you cried for the recoms. You cried for Miles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everything was gone, his squad, his son, you. All he had was this banshee and hope that the RDA would give him another chance. He flew slumped against its neck, Spider's hissed rejection replaying in him mind. He'd left you there, tied up on a sinking ship. You were dead and it was his fault. Maybe Spider knew that, he looked so angry at him.
You danced in his memory. He wanted you to be his again, he wanted those moments with you wrapped in his arms back. You were gone forever now, he'd never had a chance to make you understand.
He thought he imagined it at first but no his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. On a rock ahead he saw your form prone, alone. Cupcake swooped down as he quicker thought it, he saw you scramble up, shielding your eyes from the sun behind him.
"Miles!" You shouted to him, waving your arms above your head. He fell off Cupcake, trying to stand to get to you. You closed the distance, sliding to his side, gripping his injured face gently to examine him. He could hardly keep his eyes open, straining hard to try take you in. You were alive? Your hair glowed, a halo from the sun behind you head, an angel. His eyes fluttered closed.
"You're hurt." You sounded panicked, concerned. This couldn't be real, you'd been so angry, so upset with him. He felt your hand shift his wet hair from his face, examining the tender area around his eye. Heaven? Nah if it was heaven he wouldn't be in agony.
You were alone, having escaped the ship somehow. Had the Sullys left you, Spider couldn't have known where you were. There's no way he'd leave you stranded alone. Maybe he was coming back for you? Certainly they'd come for you, you were one of them. He thought bitterly, Sully had taken his son, he couldn't let him have you too.
"He's gone y/n. He left with them." You stilled, hands still holding him. He saw a distant look in your eyes, they darted to the water. With all the strength and speed he had left in him, he whipped cuffs onto your wrist, tethering you to his own.
"Not loosing you too." He struggled out, vision blurring. You looked incredulously between your tied wrists.
"I'm bound to you." Your head dipped, resigned.
#quaritch x you#miles quaritch x oc#quaritch x reader#miles quaritch#colonel quaritch#avatar imagine#avatar#the way of water#my fics#why so blue#my posts#zdog#spider socorro
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Third Time's the Charm (Chapter 2)
pairing ➩ Matt Murdock x Reader (Modern AU)
series warnings ➩ addiction, depression, drugs, alcohol, smut, lots of swearing
chapter warnings ➩ cursing, smut, praise, unprotected sex, creampie, pet names (sweetheart, princess), break-up, angst
synopsis ➩ After the events of 'Fine China', Y/n struggles to fight her addiction to drugs, alcohol, and men. Said men being her two ex fiancees, who both left her on their wedding day. When she meets Matthew Murdock, she is immediately intrigued. Will she finally get her happy ending?
word count ➩ 1.7k
a/n ➩ comment your favorite color!
“Morning princess.”
“What time is it?”
“7:30”
“Mmmmh, good morning.” You respond to the naked man behind you.
“Want breakfast?”
“How do you look so pretty waking up?”
“Breakfast?”
“Fuck me.” You demand.
“What?”
“I want you inside of me, now.”
“Thought I taught you better.”
“Maybe I need to be disciplined.”
“Careful what you wish for.” You roll on top of him, taking him inside your aching hole, lazily bouncing your hips on his until his hands hold you still and he starts hammering into you. Moans and praises fly around the room, going in one of your ears and coming out the other. You are so high off everything Matt that you get close to forgetting your own name. This feeling of bliss you get while he fucks you is like nothing you’ve ever felt. You’ve had your fair share of great orgasms, but something about the way he pleasures you, makes you feel so special. Would it be bad to say that you are happy you got arrested? Probably, but the only thing you care about right now is the intense pleasure building up. “You gonna cum sweet girl? Go ahead, make a mess.” His words push you over the edge. He turned sleepy morning sex into a sport, and one that he would never lose at. It’s nice to be in his arms, coming down from your high. This part of you that has been broken so many times before, is suddenly repaired, just like that. There’s no more need for drugs now, you wanted to be sober for every moment with Matt. You were never the type to wear your heart on your sleeve, but he brought out this side of you, this side that risked everything, just to spend time with him. Just to please him. Just to love him. Pretty soon, he’s reaching his high and filling you up, but you’re still aching for his touch. Aching for his praise. Aching for his love. “C’mere sweetheart, it’s okay.” You didn’t even realize you were crying until he’s wiping your tears away. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”
“I know, I’m just, overwhelmed I guess.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“I just, I wanna be with you, because you make me feel good. You warm my heart, you caress my soul, and I’m getting really cheesy aren’t I?”
“I mean, I love cheese.”
“Of course you do, you just have to be perfect in every way.”
“I wish I could really see you, but I do this thing where I touch people’s faces, and it gives me an idea of what you look like. I’d love to do it, if you want.” You grab his hands, bringing them directly to your cheeks. He spends the next minute exploring every part of you, imperfections and all. But even the things you hate most about your appearance, he adores. “You’re so pretty.”
You blush at his words, “No, you.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
“The prettiest.”
“I know we met in a weird way, and that we’ve only known each other for a month, but I just know that I’m gonna fall in love with you.”
“Matthew Murdock, you cannot be saying these things, you don’t even know my middle name.”
“It’s Y/m/n.”
“Okay stalker, well I don’t know yours, so, point proven.”
“It’s Michael, point unproven.”
“Wait this has to be a joke. Your name is Matthew Michael Murdock?”
“Yep.”
“Your parents are so cool. Will I get to meet them?”
“Ummm, they’re dead.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay just, I really wish you could, they’d love you.”
“You don’t have to lie. I’m sure they’d much rather you date a nice girl.”
“Hey, you are a nice girl.”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, honestly I don’t”
“Like, I’m just not the girl you show off, I’m the one you blow off after sex, the fuck-able type, not the date-able type.”
“If you need me to show you how date-able you are, I can introduce you to my friends.”
“Really?”
“Yes, they’ll love you.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
“Alright, I have to go to the office today, but meet us at Josie’s at 8:00. I’ll text you you address” The two of you exchanged numbers last night.
“Sounds perfect.”
“Goodbye, Y/n, I had a lot of fun.”
“Yeah, me too. Bye Matt.” When he leaves, you let out an audible sigh. There’s one thing you know for certain; Matt Murdock is going to be the death of you.
When six o’clock rolls around, you start getting ready. It takes an embarrassing amount of time to pick your outfit. It has to have personality, not too mild, but also not too out there. Something just classy enough, not too skimpy, but also not too modest. You go back to basics, picking a long sleeve black dress that stops above your knees, some black tights, black boots, and finally a blazer in your favorite color, for added flare and warmth. You do a natural makeup look consisting of concealer, mascara, and a little bit of blush. You finish off by straightening your hair. Before you know it, it’s 7:30, and you’re leaving, hoping to get there a little early. You’re super nervous, you want so badly to get their approval. Getting there with 15 minutes to spare, you take one last deep breath before entering the building. As you walk in, you spot Matt, who is facing away from you. He senses your presence and you make your way through the vacant bar. “Hi!” You greet him with a kiss on the cheek.
“Foggy, Karen, this is Y/n. Y/n, these drunks are Foggy and Karen.”
“Hey you guys. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Karen reaches her hand out to shake yours.
Foggy, clearly already drunk asks, “Hey do I know you? You look soooo familiar.”
“Umm, I don’t think so. My last name is Y/l/n, I was engaged to Steve Rogers, and then to Bucky Barnes.”
“Oh my god I know who you are. Matt, how’d you pull an Avengers groupie?”
“Foggy.” Matt scolds.
“Oh sorry, Y/n, it just sounds like you’ve got a type.”
“Yeah, well, dating a normal guy is nice. I mean, my type hasn’t gotten me that far.”
“Wait, does she not know?”
“Know what?”
“She knows about my heightened senses.” It seems like there’s something unspoken being said, but you have embarrassing secrets you haven’t told him, so you let it go.
“Hey, I’m ordering drinks. Want anything, Y/n?” Karen asks.
“Umm, no thank you.”
“C’mon it’s on me. Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re pregnant, already.”
“Karen!” Matt scolds again.
“No, but close. I’m actually an alcoholic.” Everyone’s head turns toward you. “Oh, was that an overshare? Shit.”
“No sweetheart, you’re fine.”
“Sweetheart? She has really got you whipped.”
Karen comes back with more drinks, trying to salvage this conversation. “How’d you guys meet anyway?”
“Matt was my lawyer.”
“You’re a criminal?”
“Just possession. Yeah, on top of the whole alcoholism stuff, I am also an ex-junkie. Kind of a double whammy. I’m one month sober though, thanks to this guy.” Matt’s friends exchange glances.
“When did you start dating?”
“Well, we went on our first date yesterday.”
“Wow, so this is like, fresh.”
“Yeah, he hasn’t gotten sick of me yet. And usually guys wait until our wedding day to leave me.”
“I’ve always wondered what happened, how does that end up happening twice?”
“Sorry he’s really drunk.”
“It’s okay. I went to high school with Bucky, and we stayed friends after he got the serum and became an Avenger. I met Steve, who he had already been married before. I fell for him, hard, but he cheated on me with his ex wife, and got her pregnant.”
“Yikes.”
“Yeah. I stayed though, and was gonna become a wife and step-mom. But when Peggy went into labour on our wedding day, he left me for her. That was the first time I had gotten my heart broken. Bucky was there for me, and drugs were helping too. I fell in love with him and taking pills, blah blah blah. Got engaged. He broke it off because he found out about my drug problem, also on the day we were supposed to get married. So, then my addiction to pills evolved to also include coke, and I got caught with it, twice. The second time was last month, and when me and Matt met.”
“Listen, I’m not trying to be a dickhead, but Matt can’t help you. He goes through enough on his own, he doesn’t need your shit too.”
“Okay let’s talk about someone else.”
“No, I wanna talk about the jump from perfect Karen, to crazy Elektra, to coke-head Y/n. Matt do you just like hate yourself or something?” Tears prick your eyes, you’re not typically this sensitive, but something about the topic stung. You get up to leave, Matt following close behind you.
“Y/n, wait.”
“You said they’d like me Matt.”
“They will, they’re just assholes when they’re drunk.”
“I want to believe you, but I can’t.”
“I’ll talk to them, we can figure something out.”
“I can’t do this anymore, Matt.”
“Wait, what?”
“I’m not going to stay and feel like shit, and I’m not gonna be a wedge in your friendship. You deserve better.”
“I love you.”
“Matt, it’s been a day.”
“I know, just, I’ve never fallen for someone like you.”
“A cokehead?”
“Someone who’s broken but stays good anyway.”
“That’s where you're wrong, I’m not good, Matt. Not for you, not for anyone. Just let me be alone.” You start to walk away, but it just all feels wrong. You turn around, running to give him one last kiss. “I love you too, but it’s over, we're done.” With your final words spoken, you walk off into the night.
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#matt murdock angst#matt murdock x you#matt murdock x y/n#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock smut#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader smut#marvel#modern au
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"I'm sorry."
It comes out mumbled, soft and hardly louder than a whisper, but Anne catches the words nonetheless. Her hands still where they had been gently applying a soothing balm to the raised, bumpy ridges of her beloved's scar, and she frowns.
From this angle, she cannot see her partner, so she has no idea what she's thinking- but then again, Marcy has always managed to cover her more painful, ugly feelings, wrapping them with pretty words and faux smiles like the birthday presents Anne has always told her not to buy. There is no telling what she's thinking, so Anne just rubs circles into the skin of her back, outside of the scarred area.
"What for?" she asks, swallowing around her own feelings. "I've told you so many times, Marce, you have nothing to be sorry for."
Marcy seems to disagree, making a frustrated noise in the back of her throat. She's shaking, Anne realizes, and she quickly dips her fingers back into the cream, massaging it into the last part of the gigantic scar that she hadn't quite managed to reach yet.
"You're taking care of me again," she finally says, shuddering. "Ten years, and we're right back where we started. I'm... ugh, it's stupid, sorry."
"I want to take care of you," Anne says automatically, and she can feel the way Marcy tenses underneath her. "I know, I know, I used to overdo it, and I know you can handle yourself, but... I still want to take care of you, you know? Just like I want to take care of Sasha. I don't mind."
"You shouldn't have to," Marcy groans, and for that, Anne playfully flicks her neck.
"You, baby precious, have been strong for so long now. It's been ten years, let me... let me make that up to you, for being unable to take care of you for ten years, okay? It's no chore for me, as long as you let me." Anne hesitates, and she pulls her fingers away from the scar, wiping them clean on the towelette she brought for this purpose.
Marcy hums thoughtfully like she doesn't quite believe it, but that's okay. Anne doesn't mind reaffirming it for her over and over again, not if it means she can be here for her in a way she hasn't been in so long now.
"...wait, did you just call me baby precious? Isn't that what you call Domino?" Marcy gives a long suffering sigh, one that could be exasperated if Anne didn't know her well enough to hear the smile in it.
"That's what you're focused on?" Anne laughs, and she's grateful that they thought to put Marcy's hair in a top bun before Anne had started, cause it means she can lean in and kiss the back of her neck, gentle and slow.
Marcy breathes, shuddery with each inhale.
"Okay, okay, Anne, baby, please, you're just torturing me now," she whimpers, as Anne kisses the back of her neck again, "and you're gonna get cream in your mouth, oh my god-"
"-I just wanna show you how much I love you, that's all," Anne tells her, and she smiles as Marcy shudders again.
"You've showed me, I get it I promise, I love you too." Marcy turns her head the next time Anne tries to kiss her, which is no deterrent- instead, Anne gently cups her cheek, presses a feathery light kiss to her nose, the corner of her mouth. It's silly, and soft, and Marcy's giggling by the time Anne pulls away, her eyes shining.
"I love you," Anne says, seriously.
"I love you too," Marcy breathes, and Anne's kissing her, and it's perfect and everything she's ever wanted, and if Marcy had any more worries about her scar or her pain or the way that Anne longs to soothe her every ache, they melt away in the face of Anne's affections.
#kasey writes stuff#marcanne#annarcy#marcy wu#anne boonchuy#i wanted to write anne taking care of marcy post timeskip... this is what came out#can u tell im touchstarved and yearning jesus#lightest of implied sashannarcies
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So. I've played Scarlet for a week now.
I told myself I'd talk about the performance side of the game after about a week of gaming, and well...
It was fine at first, then I started having issues. Nothing incredibly bad so far for me, but the fps dips noticably when visiting towns, and the slowdown is just, distracting :D Also, it has the same issue BDSP had with each encounter taking a while to trigger for some reason?
I've seen some weird glitches from time to time on different social medias, but I've not seen any on my screen.... but I did encounter one on my sis' screen! Where my character went all... spinning foot and no human proptions in sight :DDDDD hilarious.
Also noticed that co-op sessions can either show everything that's happening with your partner in real time or... not show them at all lol. Example, if I'm seeing my sis encage in a battle, I'll see it actually happen, with pokeball throws and all. But if I have turned away at the moment my sis encages in a battle, I'll only see her standing with a bubble on top of her haid. I found this a bit jarring :'D Otherwise the co-op sessions have been a lot of fun and better than I expected, and I like how wild tera 'mon are client side, so one cannot steal them from another. I wonder if its the same with shinies...
Another thing I've noticed is that the longer you play, the less likely are some of the animations in tera raid and picnic and so on to be working correctly. So many times I'm missing an animation sequence and it looks terrible lol.
Anywho! Performance is janky, but I can tell this is a game made with love either way. Had it had more time to actually fully realise all the ideas (like the menu stores, rarely any enterable buildings and no huge amount of fashion feels like decisions based on having not enough time and needing to cut something to make the overall experience still work), it would be a perfect game for sure. I certainly, STRONGLY hope that they'll give us a patch before the end of the year, because I have heard that one music track is actually bugged at late-game and I don't wanna reach that point before its patched and reported to work.
But that's all!
#aleira plays sv#sv spoilers#pokemon#pokegames#pokemon sv#pokemon scarlet violet#pokemon scarlet and violet#discussions
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Op give us your info of which glue is good for beans
(Im not in us so I probably won't find any of the glues but I wanna know)
I’m also not in the US! I’m pretty sure that all the brands I used will at least have different names in other countries (at least one of them was the hardware chainstore’s own brand)
For beans around the size of kidney beans use high-tac fabric glue. It’s a bit stronger than PVA which you need to make up for the fact that the shape of the bean means less of it is touching the frame.
You can dollop a small area 3x3 - 4x4 and roughly put the beans where you want them and you still have time to push them around a bit to make sure the gaps between beans aren’t too big or find the right shape bean to fill a specific gap.
You cannot use this approach for smaller beans like black beans unless you want to sit there using tweezers to make sure each bean is in place without getting any glue on the top of it. Use a glue with a grout-like consistency and apply a small area with a spatula. Use a thin later bc when you put the beans down you’re gonna be pushing them into place. If your glue layer is too thick it will start to get pushed up and over the beans.
Start in the middle of the area you’re put the glue on and work out so it’s easier to push beans into position and you’re not stuck there trying to jigsaw the perfect bean into the hole you have left.
Be careful - you still have to move faster than you would with fabric glue to get them into place. If you push them around too much the paste will start to get on the top side of the bean and then you just have to pick them out with tweezers and drop another bean in (and maybe add a tiny bit of paste to the bottom of it if there’s not enough glue left of the frame for it to stick to).
Big beans like the great northern beans you can use fabric glue for. They’re big enough that you can actually dollop the glue on individual beans without it making you want to cry.
Beans that are very round (we used red haricot beans for the border and they are a a bit taller and more rugby-ball shaped) you need to use a grout-like glue again because the surface area that’s actually touching the frame is comparatively small. And unlike the black beans you need a *thick* layer here. And you can’t push the beans around to get them into the right place much. You’ve just gotta drop them and push them down. With these beans you need to make sure they’re a lot close to each other than with other beans because of the shape. Even if they’re touching each other when you place them, by the time you’ve grouted over them there will be plenty of space between each bean.
Epoxy is generally a No. The beans do not stay in place. They drift around. The only time epoxy is suitable is for dried beans (not just dry. Dried. Un-shelled and split). Dried broad beans where the best colour we could find for the hair. the fact that they’re split gives you a flat surface to work with so epoxy works just fine. The problem with these beans is that because they’re split they’re quite flat. We had to find some cardboard of just the right thickness to glue to the frame where the broad beans needed to go so that they reached the height of the other beans. Fabric glue is also fine here, but I’d avoid grout - the flatness of the beans makes it too easy for grout to get on top when you’re pushing them into place.
The most important thing is varnish your beans before you glue them. It’s varnish intensive - I went through a whole can just on the kidney beans - but you’ve gotta make sure they’re completely covered. You need those beans hermetically sealed in that varnish because they absorb water real fast (the actual dried beans aren’t as important here but just do them anyway). And there is enough water in grout (and the wiping down you need to do to clean it up) that the skins will start to get moist and wrinkle as you grout them. Varnish. The. Beans.
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Dear _ (my first ever time writing, constructive criticism is welcome! :))
Dear –
Oh how foolish you make me feel. 8 years of torture you put me through that i willingly signed up for. Though I admit that when I signed the non existent contract, devoting every piece of me to you, I was a foolish little kid, not knowing what I'm getting myself into. My little heart fluttered with only just a look from you. Still does actually. How could it not? Your soft, warm, honey brown eyes, shining brighter than the stars that I love watching at night.. Your eyes are like my daylight stars, I get lost in time admiring their beauty. They make me feel some sort of comfort, in a way I wish I could explain. But your stars don't shine for me. And that cuts deep. Well- at least you make me feel that way. But that's what you do. One moment it seems like you dedicate the whole sky full of your beautiful stars to me and only me. But once I let myself admire them how I want to, your stars stop shining. Oh how I desperately want you to keep them shining for me. Selfishly chasing after the light. But it makes me fall into the rabbit hole even deeper and deeper, while you shut down completely, neglecting my existence for a ridiculous amount of time. And after a while you come back, shining all of your light at me again, and I foolishly bathe in it like I'm some sort of a lizard, splayed on a rock and bathing in your warm sunlight.
Oh how I chase after you, all of you. Your remarkable scent, making me feel like a thousands of beautiful, colored butterflies hatched in my belly, pooling warmth into my chest and heating up my cheeks into a reddish color. Your unruly dark, frizzy curls that cannot be tamed and that make you so adorably frustrated. My fingers itch with the idea of running them through your hair, and my lips craving to kiss the top of your head gently. God how I crave it. Crave your touch, your warmth.. How i crave you. Your smile makes me happier than when I land a perfect bass line, and it never fails to make me grin as well. Your dimples, that got more prominent over the years, are the greatest treasure this world holds. Your soft, warm skin that makes me want to melt (it makes me ill, thinking about how many times I dreamed about being in your warm embrace, cradled by you like I'm the most precious thing in the world). The moles scattered carelessly all across your body, forming beautiful and unique constellations that I wanna trace with my hands. Your big warm hands that are twice as big as mine and your strong, veiny arms that make me feel fire in my underbelly. Your strong and sharp jawline that could cut paper. But that is soft like plush at certain angles, it's a real wonder.. The sound of your laughter and your micro-expressions I've learned to read like a book. They all make me feel like a hopeless fool.
And I remember our conversations back then. How close we were, talking non stop about anything and everything. I suppose we still are close.. in my world at least. Why did you detach? Why won't you spare me a minute of your time, just the two of us? Do I make you feel uncomfortable? Disgusted perhaps? I swear it was never my intention to make you feel like that, I swear on my life. Perhaps I'm too foolishly intense, though I try not to be so I don't accidentally push too far and make your stars stop shining.
I remember you constantly at my house, us playing video games, sitting all too close to each other, feather-like touches that make my heart throb just at the thought. Your teasing and laughter, filling my living room and making it feel more like home. You made me feel like I'm safe, shielded from the world, tucked into a place with you where nothing could reach us. But you're starting to avoid being alone with me, our conversations being dull and awkward. And doesn't that make me feel like I'm nothing.. Makes me feel like a dumb fool, falling right into your alluring trap. Perhaps you're not even aware of this. Though I highly doubt it.
I miss you. I miss going to the park, talking freely about whatever, I miss you being so careless and relaxed around me, laughing at absurd things. I miss playing video games with you, getting to be close to you without you pushing me away afterwards. I miss you. All of you.
Please come back..
(Hi! Thank you so much if you sticked around! So- this is my first ever time writing anything and english isn't my first language, but i decided to post it somewhere anyway.. i'm hoping to get some feedback :) Thank you so much for reading again and i hope you have a nice morning/day/night!)
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Since Welcome Home just had a speedrun record for viral bullshit, lemme key y'all in on what today's creatives think about.
For context, I'm in art school. Everyone around me including myself all have some sort of personal project(s) we wanna publish one day/are working on currently. And those specific projects are meant to make money so it means reaching a wider set of people.
I have several professors touch on what our online portfolio and presence needs, and it's led into class discussions on balancing putting ourselves/our work out there and keeping privacy. On top of learning how to deal with predatory editors and safe pitching practices, my peers are strongly voicing their distaste for any sort of proximity with any fandom they could accomplish because of rampant parasocial behaviors.
I got a roommate who wants to write a graphic novel and part of it is a sorta commentary on tiktok stardom in particular. They explained some of it to us and we all agreed the only way it would ever work is if it never went viral and prayed tiktok never got its hands on it.
Back in my wannabe youtuber days I took a good study at youtubers and realize the best fanbases were on the smaller side and that were encouraged into a specific way of engaging. (Like coming together specifically to do analysis or specifically to discuss smth, etc.) By nature of what people were attracted to what content.
I got book ideas I simply will not go through with if I'm in a peak/going viral because I know people will not handle them well. They will be shelved for another time. I also need to clean out and update my half-abandoned youtube before I start buckling down on my artistic endeavors because I know how the internet is. Never mind the fact that I'm willingly kneecapping myself by refusing to interact with instagram and pulling away from using twitter professionally. I value my tumblr circle so fucking much because it's so not insane and more on the wavelength with my bullshit. And I'm holding onto this more than any How To Market With Social Media advice.
Said roommate who's super passionate about their graphic novel idea exploring fame and what not (which I really can't wait to see happen one day) took inspiration from whatever the fuck tiktok did with Penelope Scott that one time. They explained she had the perfect amount of space away from her presence and an amazing social media balance that couldn't have been better and yet still got drag through the mud. My understanding is that watching that happened made my roommate go "what if" and want to explore some more concepts regarding fame and parasocial relationships.
I'm lucky. I have had minor "popularity" in certain circles on Tumblr (apparently) and yet have never got too dragged into discourse. Especially considering I've been here since I was twelve. The worst I've gotten is from the sociopolitical side of things, some of y'all probably remember how terfs were up my ass that one time.
My point being: Artists who are aware and in the industry and these spheres right now are hyperaware of what their presence can do. Hyperaware that their social media doesn't get to be the luxury of just a fun thing but an extension of their work life. That combined with how even traditionally published authors are more expected to be their own marketing these days, we are much more aware and even prepared than the averaged hobbyist.
And that's partly why all art is such a miserable hobby right now.
Never mind gaming algorithms and playing the luck game to even get seen, never mind the cultural idea that art is just something to be consumed and tossed out like it's a disposable napkin, but the average person is not prepared to handle what happens when lots of people start interacting with you specifically for your work. The masses simply cannot get their act together, especially in a post-covid world.
And the solutions aren't simple. Largely because the only way this is going to get better is if the people consuming learn how to behave. And you and I both can assume how likely that's going to be. Truly, I think meaningful change starts with media literacy. Just learning how to critically think about a piece. But I don't even think that's being taught in public schools, let alone to the focus it needs to have.
If we want the masses to stop harassing people unfortunately we gotta hope they have the reading comprehension to understand what's being put out there. That way they don't come out of left field with a wild accusation.
I remember being in 8th grade reading The Taming of The Shrew and the teacher have exactly zero acknowledgement on the blatant abuse that was taking place. The most we got from the class or her was "dang they didn't like women back then. Wild how she changed after being with this guy for only a short bit. anyways." and move on.
(I remember ranting to my mom borderline horrified how no one else was acknowledging the blatant abuse and horror. And how I just knew some boy my age was gonna sit in that class and read it and not see what was wrong cuz it wasn't explained. No one wanted to put effort understanding Ye Olde Speech. My mom was sorta proud of me in that moment. Said she would've never thought about those sorta things and thought I'd make a good teacher.)
I watched a Ted Ed last quarter in my philosophy class about an after school program teaching porn literacy and sex ed. The person speaking was pleasantly surprised at what was coming from the students once they were interested and encouraged. She (and our class) were horrified realizing porn was the only sex ed most teens were getting.
But my point here being: Teens were not engaging critically, not knowing how to properly get something out of media without being explicitly taught and walked through how to do that. Even though they were actively trying to learn something and intake information, they don't know how. I know my English classes were mostly just "we read this now write a paper about this from the text. Cite your sources and explain yourselves." But even I didn't know what explain yourselves meant and I did great in English.
And now attention spans seem to be on the fritz and the mob mentality is more rabid than ever.
I love making art so much. But trying to put anything out there is gonna suck because now I have to pull out ten different formulas of how do I get a big enough audience to sustain me but also curate and attract people who wont approach this/me in bad faith. All while knowing my social media will immediately become an extension of my work life instead of the stuff I do for funsies.
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