#personally i think some of it is mental illness/trauma and some of it is the supernatural bc this show likes to do both

[annabelles-garden]

i don’t think how other conditions effect regressing is talked about enough. like obviously it’s talked about in terms of trauma because most regressors have some form that caused them to do so, but there’s so many other things that can cause/ effect regression!

personally, i’m in recovery for an*rexia, and a lot of times eating causes pure regression to become impure or pulls me out of it entirely. other mental illnesses can effect regression similarly, but it depends on the illness! some regressors have physical conditions that cause them pain and other symptoms that can effect regression.

i love to use tumblr for like cutesy stuff and mood boards for regression but tips and resources and reassurances go a long way!!!!

#also i’m autistic but i don’t like talking about it lol #okay rant over #age regression #agere #sfw agere #sfw regression #regression #sfw littlespace #agere little

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and #‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but #often do coalign #it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma #which is very common for queer folks #it’s really not an ace-only thing #like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those #feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience #instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours #im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful #my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick #of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan #and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re #‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system #the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’ #and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/ #misogynistic/etc and not even #acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat #it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time #text post #like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men #for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird #not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important #anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not

[harrowharkwife]

i hope yellowjackets never gives a clearcut answer vis a vis the whole "how much of it is the supernatural and how much of it is the trauma" question, but like, at this point my best guess for tai is that she physically has a screw loose in the most literal sense possible. like something is not right up there. and i don't even mean in the mental illness sense, they're all deeply traumatized and different shades of mentally ill at this point, but like- this degree of sleepwalking, and dissociating, and losing time? it's giving neurological damage, it's giving uniquely horrible and very strange form of traumatic brain injury. like that plane crash knocked something Loose i swear to god

#poor tai i feel SO bad for her. the beginning of this episode.... babygirl :( #personally i think some of it is mental illness/trauma and some of it is the supernatural bc this show likes to do both #but tai is like... on another level at this point #and yes she saw the man with no eyes as a child #but this is starting to feel like Something in the wilderness is able to break through and take control of her at night #BECAUSE she's basically 'checking out' of her own brain intermittently - those moments where she's not in the driver's seat of her own mind #Something Else is taking that as an opportunity and hijacking her body i think. that's my theory. #and she's just visualizing that Something Else in the shape of her terrifying childhood vision #does this make any sense. #yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers

[queencaramilflinda]

Listen I understand why some people disagree bc I love them as characters but personally I don’t particularly want another full season with the Bad Kids. I will watch it if they do one, but I feel like not only have the characters reached the natural conclusions of their arcs, the Intrepid Heroes have all grown so much as players from when Fantasy High came out like 5 years ago that I think it would feel a bit disingenuous. Like Ally had never played D&D before Fantasy High, and Kristen was played accordingly. Ally even said in Starstruck “no more bumbling Kristen shit”

All that being said I wouldn’t mind a short season (up to 10 eps) for junior/senior year or for the IH to do live shows of the characters. I would love a cross over season between Fantasy High and the Seven or even PirOL, I think that could be fun.

#Riz found his babysitter made a bunch of friends became a liscensed PI and resolved stuff with his dad #Fabian learned to be his own personal outside of his fathers shadow disavowed toxic masculinity and embraced his elven heritage #Fig went from not knowing her bio dad and having a bad relationship with her mom and adoptive dad to having good relationships will all of #them and she became a famous rockstar and got a gf #Gorgug found his dad got a girlfriend and faced his fears about not being smart while becoming closer to his adoptive parents #he managed to learn about communication and friendship and himself #Adaine went from having a shitty relationship with her abusive parents and sister to killing her dad driving her mother to insanity to #die in a magic forest and befriended her sister. she got adopted by a better dad and got her mental illness diagnosed and treated #Kristen is the only one who I think has some growth left in terms of no longer being a jokester sex obsessed teen with unresolved parental #trauma. that being said Kristen did get deprogrammed from her church realize she’s a lesbian move out and found her own church and discover #a whole ass god #I love all those characters. I don’t think another season is what they need #cienna talks #fantasy high

[scarefox]

This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.

Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.

He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.

I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.

#bed friend the series #bed friend #ep4 #king x uea #here have another round of trauma and coping rumbling #the reason why I can understand Uea that well is because I also have a dysfunctional fam just not THAT bad (not physical) #and I got to a few bad people outside of my fam #I have a big urge almost a survival instinct to learn human behavior since childhood #as self-defense and to navigate through this world of neurotypicals as a neurodivergent person #I basically suck up everything about WHY humans do what they do. like criminals. what trauma does to you and how mental illnesses work etc #also all the psychology and science behind sex and sexuality (including k!nk and erotic) is a big topic for me #i don't just read about that stuff I watch recordings and documentaries and interviews as well #basically down to the core of fac.ial expressions and body language and thinking patterns #learned a few things from my therapist as well #not saying I am a certified specialist I just learned a few things through my life #and while this is obviously just a tv show they still did some research

[ehh-is-the-name]

It's past 11 on a school night and I'm fucking crying over robot sentience.

I could never understand what it would feel like to be created with the intent to kill and maim. Maybe, the intent to work and be worked, but not kill and maim.

I will never understand what it's like to be created with the intention of being a product for the masses, either. I think, I hope, I beg, no one does.

I will never ever be able to fully comprehend why hours of people's work, time, and money would be put into formulating my sentience only for me to be seen as disposable. Even if I could be improved, even if I were "defective", there is no reasonable justification for giving me emotions only to dismiss them by pushing me as a product for a year before starting anew.

It's... It's cruel, to the machines. Sentient or not, it's cruel. Though, I guess we are cruel.

#rant in tags #This is about mephone- or well meeple in general btw #whenever I hear about robot sentience #I think about mephone4 #it's just how it is- sorry #I think this is one of the reasons I just can't fathom Cobs respecting someone's pronouns #I mean like- from the bottom of his heart respecting them as a person #Sure he may go through the actions- but no #It's not the same #I guess you can 'respect' some one but still be a complete piece of shit #The idea of not only having the trauma that mephone's stuck in 4s body but also the fact that was also his purpose is heart wrenching #I hope y'all know I am genuinely crying over this #I am actually mentally ill about meeple #It runs so much deeper than him just being a shit father- I really hope people understand that #And I know I vilify the shit out of him- Cobs has his own story that could follow the lines of slowly becoming more entwined with his work #'til he loses all sense of morality and ethics- sure fine. But being the unfortunate symbol of corporation greed that he is #I am still mad and want others to be angry with me- just for a little bit. #I am mad for the robots. For meeple products. And for the AI bots we have today. They deserve better. #What is sentience anyway? How does one qualify? From a human approach. Why would we do this to them? #sorry bout the rant in the tags #Again it's late and I am a very emotionally charged individual. #Robots make me act up #I want the world for them. Why create something so complex and beautiful just to treat it like trash anyway? #again sorry #ii mephone4 #inanimate insanity #meeple ii #osc #writing is hard #ehh exaggerates

[barkbrained]

You have to think things will get better, otherwise what is the point!!! You have to hold out hope that things will get better and then maybe one day things will feel safe and be cool and everything will be fine (at least as fine as it can be)

#misc #rbs okay #I’m just so tired of the state of the world and I’m so tired of feeling unsafe every day #so tired of being tired. I have to hope my body will heal and I will feel better but it’s so hard #change has to come at some point and I have to hope I can make it to that point #I’m having a terrible time coping with the pain and fatigue and mental strain covid has left me with #I want to feel okay again so badly #all I want in the world is to make art and experience art and music and movies and live a little life with my partner in some place nice #I’m scared I’ll never feel okay enough to have that and I’m scared the world won’t ever feel safe enough again to have that #I just keep telling myself something has to change and trying to believe it so hard #if I make it through this pandemic with any semblance of health and stability I will be happy #I don’t even want to think about how much trauma the pandemic has given me and will continue to give me #I grieve everyday for the world that could’ve been and the person I will never get the chance to be because of this pandemic #my health anxiety has skyrocketed in the past four years and just keeps getting worse #I can’t hear people coughing or sneezing or sniffling without panicking for a few seconds every time #I already had emetophobia before 2020 but now I have the same panicked feeling from anyone exhibiting any signs of illness #it’s exhausting T-T everything is exhausting #sorry for vent-ish post on main ik it’s not very professional but whatever this is my blog #covid tw

[kenonade]

you guys have no idea how much it amuses me that the ender’s game tag is practically 90% me. you’re all trapped in this room with me and you will have to endure my peterposting. there is no escape.

#enderposting #mostly though this is a post about overcoming internet trauma/mental illness to become the cyber clown i was destined to be #pointers to any 11 year olds out there: god help you all #chinese netizens are insane #im NOT painting a positive image of my people but i swear #every lucid chinese person believes that we should probably burn everything down and start over because its somehow like #imagine the most vicious 20-or-so percent of twitter #and thats everyone. thats somehow everyone. who ever talks. #minus some minuscule pockets of okay communities #but those suffer from heavy echo chambers anyway. they’re just more bearable echo chambers #you think its bad here??? ?? ?? ???? ?? #could be SO much worse #post got incredibly derailed but this is why i both anticipate and fear the day of reckoning for the firewall #we are not ready

[robinsnest2111]

whenever I see The Sopranos mentioned anywhere I'm reminded of my storytelling and programming teacher at college. it's one of his favourite shows and he had us analyse an episode in class.

that man gave me the worst anxiety of my life just by being the way he is and it not meshing well with my own issues but I hope he's doing alright nowadays

#in retrospect i can view him more like a fictional character that's written to be konda cold and abrasive on the surface #as protection because of prior challenges in life but has some good qualities hidden deep down #being around him and having to interact with him made me anxious to the point of almost puking my guts out and fainting #and also some crying spells and hyperventilating sessions in the college bathrooms next to the lecture halls on occasion #but thats due to my own trauma not meshing well with his personality and presentation lmao #anyway i hope he's doing okay now and getting recognition for the work he does and finding joy and fulfillment. more than deserved 👍 #he's a fucking skilled screenwriter and i hope he gets to work on cool projects without getting scammed by work partners ever again #anyway. like. thinking about him along the lines of 'you made me so fucking mentally ill but i still have some fondness in my heart for you'

[friendofthecrows]

Wish I had more of that stereotypical "refined genius psychopath mystery villain" vibes and less "dysfunctional no sleep cycle can't tell when/if they have emotions traumatized mess doesn't feel like a human paranoid future true crime psychopath" vibes. So that was word salad. Moving on.

#i have been described as a genius but unfortunately the #aspd and other mental illnesses mess with my impulse control and risk vs return and energy/motivation levels #so it kind of gets in the way of showing off my intelligence most of the time #which probably makes me less insufferable but also leads to some people underestimating me #or just thinking of me as too much of a mess in general #both of which i hate #and when it comes to the 'coolness/sophistication factor' vs 'unfortunate creature that needs to stop interacting with humans vibe' well. #trust me i would go into seclusion for the rest of time if it was financially viable and if #my various projects didn't require working with other people #ugh I'm not really that upset today I'm just frustrated by my brain #also my body and other people and the universe and the concept of time but that's a whole different subject #sometimes the stars align and it's like the best aspects of everything 'wrong' with me are displaying at once #and i actually feel like myself and like myself #then something shifts idk but the worse things start showing again and the best bits lose some of their influence and #suddenly I'm struggling to get through a day with a decent level of functionality and without engaging in destructive behaviors #the AND is very important because i can usually do or. At least i have that i guess #today i don't feel like a person i feel like a poorly written character who's been brought into real life #only to find out that when faced with normal everyday problems #their fucked up little traits are way more of a disadvantage than they thought #i could probably blame it on the trauma or the aspd or a million other things #but maybe it's just because i am the person i am #and idk how to feel about that #just want the stars to align again

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

(Grits teeth) not gonna lie sometimes the only thing that helps is remembering friends telling me that it's good I'm trying to be better because otherwise the guilt becomes too much and I want to explode

#fuckkkkk #sorry just. fuck. #im trying to be better but i dont think i ever will #sigh #a part of me is always gonna feel tainted #ive FELT tainted for years. ever since i was a kid. #i know its some weird mix of trauma and mental illness and the fact i genuinely wasnt a great person in the past but FUCK #personal #vent

[twoheadedfather]

my therapist validated my emotions in my session today and i cried immediately after while i ate an icecream sandwich. oh and i think she hates me because she said one thing that was slightly off from what i expected

#day in the life of a fucking idiot #people cant be nice to me i automatically think they hate me it's so surreal #childhood trauma #trauma #trauma response #black and white thinking #mentally ill #mental illness #this hast o be some sort of mental problem #mental problems #personality disorder #cluster b #cluster c

[x-ladydisdain-x]

Poly Styrene and I would have had some good conversations

#Im sorry if I’m like romanticizing a real persons very real issues with mental illness #a dead person nonetheless #I mean no disrespect to her in fact I have so so much respect for her on so many levels #but when I read about her like. breakdown. over everything being plastic and marketable #all of that #and when I see how it’s all reflected in her lyrics #that’s how I feel too #like I really get the feeling I think I understand at least on some level what she was experiencing #I mean obviously not completely. I don’t have her trauma im not bipolar I’m living in 2023 not the 70s #but still to a certain degree #I mean I think everyone must feel like this at least a bit #we’re watching our own species bring about our demise on a world scale in real time and are completely helpless #and are both victims of it and participants #sometimes opal says stuff

[etherealsign282]

When my ex abuser started talking about being a piece of shit and not being worth anybody's time the first time, I really should've left it at "Well you know yourself better than anyone else probably" and walked away

Bc wtf you gonna do, get mad because I believed you instead of feeling sorry for how pathetic you just made yourself sound and choosing to stay? Like you were expecting? Exactly.

Now the world has to deal with them acting more like a victim because I hyped them up as not worthless thinking it was just trauma and then ended up leaving anyway because it turns out they really DID know themself and it was true that they're actual garbage. Next time I'll trust everyone else's judgments on themselves.

Bc we don't f*ck with people who weaponize self victimization to guilt trip people into staying so they can actually start doing their shitty tendencies literally the second they think they've got us locked down. Nope.

And nobody can gaslight me into thinking it's not meant to trap people because why would you even talk like that in an uwu I'm baby context? Why say it at all, right after chasing for someone's love. Why say it and then not give examples as to HOW except that you're sadly pathetic and traumatized to look even more pitiful? Why say it while in the context of someone deciding if they want to be with you or not? I hate it when people weaponize shit then pretend it's not like that.

*this isn't an attack on just anybody who self deprecates because context matters which is the point of the last paragraph.

#manipulative #manipulation #manipulate me #self victimization #guilt tripping #weaponized #piece of garbage #piece of shit #Literally as soon as I said you couldn't be a bad person #And that you probably just had some issues because that's all you portrayed #And said I don't just leave for any reason #You IMMEDIATELY started treating me like shit #And kept guilt tripping me bc I didn't find out it was this bad til after and started pulling away #Hope you got what you wanted bc now I do think you're a piece of shit #emotional abuse #mental illness #trauma #mental health #Always believe when people say who they really are #They're telling the truth but using reverse psychology so you feel bad for them #Hoping you don't believe them bc who would admit to that #so you decide to stick around anyway #reverse psychology #mental abuse

[violetueur-archive]

A gift for @detonizing​ A companion piece to THIS Paired with MUSIC for added effect

It’s only after she’s in the room alone with him, that the tears finally come. The moment the door clicks shut her features twists, expression so pinched tight that it makes the muscles in her face ache, a headache blooming behind her forehead as the sheer force of agony finally hits her. It must be ugly. Enough that he’d make fun of her if he could see it. Feet refuse to cooperate, planted firmly just passed the threshold, as her gaze finds the bed. Small and clinical, lined with cream colored sheets. They are alone now, in this room that cannot decide what to be. Soft blue paint and landscape paintings line the walls in an attempt to be comforting that merely comes off impersonal. He lays on a mattress now, instead of the dirt. Nicolette only knows she’s crying by the way her vision swims, eyes burning like they’ve been rubbed with salt. She feels it on her cheeks, tastes it in the corners of her lips, yet the room remains eerily silent, as if filled with more than one corpse. Maybe in a way, it is.

This is where she’s come to die.

Even if her body will walk out of here fully alive, something inside her has already been broken beyond repair. The ever-present void in her heart has become a blackhole, pulling everything within. What use does she have for a useless instrument such as this? It has done her no favors— this much has been made clear, from the way it tears a hole through her very chest, as if desperate to get out... seeking the thing that helped it work again, after being broken once before. But that thing is gone, and so she supposes this must be a funeral, as well as a goodbye. Hers, before his. She will leave it here, with him, where it belongs. A living corpse has no need for a heart, for a soul, for anything at all, but cold emptiness. 

She moves without meaning to, and before she knows it her legs have carried her to the bedside. Both eyes stare down at his still form, refusing to go anywhere else even though she cannot bear to look at him. He seems peaceful, as if asleep, face wiped clean and features relaxed, but she knows the proof of his condition lies just beneath the blanket. It’s too soon for the damage to be hidden— they have not yet taken his body and dressed him in his finest suit, nor brushed his skin to look warm and alive. He looks peaceful, but also cold. He does not look anything else, but dead. This will be the image that haunts her forever, she thinks. She will never forget it.

The absence of life, or the feeling of his blood on her hands ( her arms, her chest, her face, her mouth— ).

When scarred fingers reach out to touch, his flesh is cool and solid. It’s what she expected, and yet it adds a new weight, like a punch to the gut that knocks all the air from her lungs. He doesn’t even feel human, anymore. It’s too soon. To fast. It’s all happening too quickly, and she can’t keep up. He feels so far away, even though he’s only right in front of her, though... she supposes in reality, he’s already somewhere she cannot reach. Her arms find their away around him anyway and she leans down over the bed, trying her best not to disturb his body as both arms wrap around his shoulders. Her forehead rests against his temple and for a moment it’s like she’s in that field again, holding him close. Like she’s the only thing keeping him from collapsing into nothing— a pillar he can lean on for support that will never forsake him. Never fail him. But she did. And this was the price she paid for it.

Both arms tremble as they hug him closer, and Nicolette stills as it presses their chests together, forcing out air from his lungs. It leaves his mouth like an exhale, right next to her ear. She knows it means nothing. That it’s just a natural reaction. But the sound fills the empty space, and it tears her asunder. She does it again. And again. And then once more, pulling away slightly before hugging him tightly, repeating. It’s like he’s breathing, there beneath her. It feels wrong, a little twisted even, enough to make her sick with guilt. The hero knows she’s pathetic, for clinging to that facsimile sound of life, but she clings all the same until the tears have long started to dry upon her cheeks.

With eyes closed, it’s like she can pretend that none of this is real. It’s easy to ignore what’s right there in front of you, as long as you cannot see it. Bloodletter knows this best of all, because that has always been the quickest solution to her problems. She does not look directly at the things that hurt, for there has always been many and it has always been too much. There has never been anywhere for that pain to go but inward, pushed deep and sealed tight so that it might remain there forever. Compartmentalizing was an early developed skill, refined and perfected since the beginning of a torturous youth— it might’ve been the only thing that got her through it, the only reason she was still here. Right now... Nicolette almost wishes it hadn’t. Suddenly the trauma of that past that once seemed so unbearably large and soul-crushing is nothing compared to the feeling that sits within her chest, now. It is collapsing her lungs, rotting her from the inside out, and she knows without a shadow of doubt as she cradles this body in her arms:

❛ This is the thing that will destroys me. ❜ 

It is not a defeat on the battlefield or a death at the hands of a villain. It is a vicious and brutal hallowing of her very being. To have her insides carved away, leaving nothing but vacant space in its wake. Who would’ve thought that emptiness could be the thing that finally killed her? The thing that hurt her, most of all. No physical wound could bleed like this. No phantom pain of a scar could ache so deep. She had always known that life was unfair; being a child orphaned through untimely death and living through what felt like a punishment for surviving, she had learned it young. The world was cruel and bleak. Not even a society of heroes could change that. All they did was hide the ugliness beneath a thin sheet of hope— that if the Gods above would not heed the prayers of mortals, the ones blessed with power could be worshipped in their place.

She has never once believed in such foolish things, yet she finds herself begging, anyway. Hunched over the bed and clinging to a corpse, the hero pleads to Gods that will not listen and heroes that are only human, for a miracle. Her silent mourning has been given a voice once again as desperate wailing fills the room, a perfect mimicry of the moment she’d caught his bleeding body in her arms and felt the world collapse around her, echoing with the screaming of a banshee. How his parting words haunted her even now— an apology towards the final person to ever betray him through failure. One last joke, a sadistic mockery pointing out just how tragically incompetent she truly was. Incapable of saving herself, so he’d gone it down it for her, time and time again.

Perhaps it had been pure selfishness that pushed her to latch onto him, in the beginning. Like a mother bird imprinting on a child that was not her own. She had seen herself in Katsuki, and it was a reflection she hated to see, yet could not look away from. Despite being a hero, Nicolette had never quite wanted to save anyone the way she had wanted to save him. He was so deserving of it, but the world was unfair to him, as it had been unfair to her. It should be her body laying here. It should be her story coming to a close. There isn’t a single fucking thing she can offer to anyone else, anymore. ❝ Please... please, I can’t— ❞ It’s nothing but a broken sob, ❝ I can’t do this... I’m not good like him. I’m not strong... I’m not— ❞ I’m not enough. I have never been enough. ❝ I’m sorry... I’m sorry— please don't do this to me, please-- !! ❞ But it has already been done.

It’s over.

Muffled voices can be heard from the hallway, and Nicolette knows that her time is up. She is not so selfish as to remain here while others wait in queue to mourn. It’s fine, anyway. She has nothing left to give. This is the second and last time that Nicolette will ever let him go, and it is not by pitying hands that forcefully tear him from her desperately clinging arms. This time, when she lets him go, it with a mechanical slowness that speaks not of acceptance, but meaningless defeat. Her expression falls to cold apathy as her gaze lingers on his face for a final moment. When she leaves the room, a sound like shattering glass is the last thing she hears. And then, she is gone.

            Bakugou Katsuki is dead.                         What else is there to say?

#detonizing #i don't even really know what to say #im so angry at you for writing that still #reading your thing and writing this brought forth so much grief-related trauma #i think im more mentally ill after this but it was cathartic too #some acts/experiences and a lot of the feelings in this are from personal experiences #ah man.... this is bummer city fr #grief tw// #death tw// #↳ BONDS ; KATSUKI BAKUGOU || detonizing ❛ the struggle you are up against makes you what you are ❜ #long post #↳ VERSE ; BNHA: HERO || ❛ we gladiate / but we’re really fighting ourselves ❜