#plant dad dieter

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Week 2 (Foxtrot)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 15.7k

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

Week 2 Quote:   “What’s wrong, do I have too many buttons open or something?”

Katarina’s POV Our first week of rehearsal had gone well after the initial awkwardness dissipated. I admit, I was extremely nervous about how our introduction was going to go and didn’t really know how to handle it. I had hoped Dieter and I would get a chance to talk before filming, but that didn’t happen. I was surprised by how effortlessly he pretended it was our first-time meeting, like we hadn’t had a somewhat confrontational interaction the day before. He had put on a good show, but I could still sense the tension rolling off him as we did our quick filming session. 

I knew that we needed to discuss what happened, so as soon as we were alone, I bit the bullet and brought it up to get it out of the way. I apologized for my behavior. I had to because the things that I had said to him were eating away at my conscience. My reaction wasn’t fair to him. Was he part of the problem? Yes. However, he wasn’t the cause. He was dropped in the middle of the situation just as much as I had been. He wasn’t intentionally trying to cause trouble between me and Alec. It was Stacia and Joe who were hoping that something would develop from their plotting. Dieter was just doing as he was told.

I could tell by the look on Dieter’s face that what I said had hurt him. I had a feeling that he didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t mean it. I hadn’t intended to tell him about my father, but at that moment I felt like he needed to hear it. I wanted him to know that I was sorry and that I wasn’t like everyone else who had been doubting him. He was willing to be open with me about his sobriety, so I felt like I needed to share something personal with him as well. We were going to be partners after all. That meant we needed to learn to communicate effectively and trust each other. Starting out the way we had would’ve caused us to fall apart quickly if we didn’t right it as soon as possible.  

Dieter seemed to accept my apology and appreciate what I shared about my father. He relaxed almost immediately, which led into a teasing banter between the two of us. He ended up being nothing like I expected. He was very respectful and put in a lot of effort to learn everything I was teaching him. I had a feeling he would be a decent dancer, but I was surprised at how quickly he was picking things up and how good he was in executing the moves. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I might actually have a shot to make it to finals. I just had to make sure I stayed on top of my game to help him get there. I also had to make sure I didn’t allow myself to be attracted to the man. 

The thought of finding Dieter attractive never crossed my mind when I was told he would be my partner. I had seen pictures of him before rehab and he usually looked like a mess. However, I had to admit that the man did clean up nicely. His sweet temperament and eagerness to learn didn’t help the situation. His puppy dog eyes and golden-retriever energy made it hard to not like him. There were times when his large brown orbs would look up at me through his lashes because he was unsure about something, and it would literally take my breath away. After spending up to seven hours with him every day last week to go over the basics of ballroom dance, I couldn’t deny that I found him to be alluring. 

I found myself brushing thoughts of Dieter aside often. I couldn’t allow myself to think about him like that because I had Alec. Though, Alec did have me in a constant state of frustration that left me questioning our relationship. He had been even more insufferable since I started working with Dieter, becoming more possessive than he normally was while also being less forthcoming than normal about how things were going with his own dance partner. I couldn’t help the distrust that I still felt toward him. I had a feeling this season of the show was going to be our final test. It was either going to strengthen our relationship or break it. The way it stood after the first week, the tighter he tried to hold on, the further away he was pushing me. It was adding a lot of stress to my personal life, which was quickly causing my time with Dieter to turn into an escape and that concerned me.  

We were now into Monday of week two. The week that things really started kicking off for our grueling schedule. The agenda for this particular Monday was fairly light, physically, since Mondays would normally be a live show day. Instead of the show, we were shooting promo material, which meant all the dance couples had photoshoot sessions lined up. Dieter and I were scheduled for 11 AM, but we still had to go in early for hair and makeup. The entire cast is required to use the show’s hair and makeup team which is set up in a large room inside Television City Studios. There are stations lining the perimeter of the room, each having a large mirror surrounded by lights, a counter stocked with all the needed utensils and products, and a barber chair. 

Dieter and I both arrived around the same time and grabbed some terrible coffee from Craft Services to get us through the morning, making small talk as we headed toward hair and makeup. As soon as we entered the room, we were whisked off to stations on opposite sides of the space. He was seated directly behind me, which meant we could see each other in the mirrors. It was hard not to stare, given he was right in my line of sight. I quickly noticed him doing the same thing. When our eyes would meet in the reflection, he would often give me an exasperated look as the hair stylist struggled with his tresses, then smile. I smiled back as I watched them tame his unruly curls into a more sophisticated style. They had gelled it back, but left a hint of curl to it. I couldn’t help thinking how handsome he looked as I watched him stand and head toward the wardrobe department.

Once my ridiculous amount of makeup was applied and my hair styled into an elegant low bun with sparkly diamond-like accessories, I made my way to the wardrobe department as well. They confirmed that Dieter was my partner before going to pull a couple of dress options that would coordinate with what they had put him in. I could hear Dieter laughing loudly in the back near the fitting area as one of the tailors, who I didn’t know, came to the front and told the costume coordinator behind the desk to update Dieter’s measurements because his shoulders were too broad for what they had put him in, causing him to pop a button off the shirt already. A look passed between the two women that said they were clearly smitten with the actor. I figured he probably charmed them as soon as he walked into the room. I had already noticed that he had a way of doing that. 

As one of the costumers led me back to the changing rooms, I passed by Dieter standing in front of a mirror, bare chested as the tailor from earlier handed him another black button up shirt to try. He gave me a cheesy smile, “I’m already causing trouble. I’ve busted out of my shirt.” Fucking hell, he looks good. I was taken off guard by the sight of him, and his comment. The best I could manage was a quiet chuckle as I continued toward my destination. His broad shoulders, toned chest, and sculpted arms were now seared into my brain. He had a slim waist but was a little soft around the middle. I found it to be more attractive than Alec’s overly chiseled abs. Yeah, I’m definitely going to hell. I felt hot and flustered suddenly as I took the black and silver Latin style dress from the costumer to try on and made my way into a changing room.  

After I was dressed, I walked out to the fitting area so the tailor could look over my attire. Dieter was now fully dressed but had left several of the top buttons on his shirt open and rolled the sleeves up - which wasn’t unusual for the guys on the show. However, I was finding those small areas of exposed flesh to be incredibly distracting. It was ridiculous because it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen his forearms during rehearsals when he wore t-shirts. I had to force myself to look away from his reflection as he stood nearby chatting with the tailor about the fit of the shirt in the shoulders. I almost snorted as she recommended he continue to leave several buttons open to give him room to move freely. He didn’t say anything in response, but I did notice a slight upward twitch of his left eyebrow. A small smirk formed on his lips as the tailor smiled up at him. Smooth. I can respect her game. I looked away quickly as his eyes briefly wandered over toward me. 

Once the tailor stopped fawning over Dieter, she moved to stand in front of me, eyes roaming over me to check the fit of the dress. She reached to tug at the fabric around my breast, pulling it tighter and adjusting the straps. I rolled my head back and chanced a glance in Dieter’s direction to find him watching with a furrowed brow. The tailor backed away, “Do you want sticky inserts or do you want me to pin it back?”

I sighed, “Inserts are fine if that’ll work.” She nodded before disappearing to the back. Dieter cleared his throat, his face now looking slightly flushed, “I’ll uhhh, wait for you up front.” I gave him a tight smile as I tried not to laugh at his embarrassment over watching the tailor grope at me. After doing this for 13 years, I was used to it. A few minutes later, the tailor, who I later learned was named Amy, returned with a new set of stick-on bra cups. Luckily that helped solve my issue and she sent me on my way so that we could get to the photographer on time. 

As I emerged into the front waiting area, Dieter gave me a mischievous smirk, “Did you get everything sorted out.”

I looked down at my chest, cupped both breasts in my hands briefly before looking back up at him with a blank expression, “Yeah, I think so. They aren’t popping out now.” His eyes widened before he burst out laughing. That hadn’t been the response he was expecting. I chuckled as I turned him to face the exit and pushed him toward it. 

When we walked into the room where the photographer was set up, my eyes were drawn to Alec and Lana being photographed. They were full of giggles and smiles as they posed for their promo shots. They weren’t doing anything inappropriate, but there was something about the way they kept glancing at each other that made my stomach churn. I’m being such a fucking hypocrite right now. I had literally been devouring Dieter with my eyes a few minutes prior, so it wasn’t like I had room to speak. Then again, I wasn’t the one who had a history of cheating either. I felt Dieter lean in next to me, “Hey, you ok?” 

Snapping out of the glare I was surely throwing their way, I glanced up at Dieter, “Yeah, I’m good.” I gave him a tight smile which didn’t seem too convincing. He looked back toward Alec and Lana, his face shifting as he studied them. I wondered if he could see what I saw between them. There was definitely chemistry there. A moment later, I felt his hand on my shoulder as he gave it a small reassuring squeeze. It seemed like he was trying to communicate something without words, but I didn’t know what to make of it. 

Alec and Lana were finished soon after our arrival. Alec seemed surprised to see us once he finally looked in my direction. He made a beeline toward Dieter and I, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me on the cheek, “Hey baby, you look good.” 

I gave him a confused smile. He wasn’t usually this touchy while we were in work mode. He glanced over at Dieter and reached his hand out to introduce himself as my “soon to be husband”. Oh…it’s because of Dieter. He’s getting territorial. For fucks sake. Dieter didn’t skip a beat, immediately turning on that Bravo charm. Alec didn’t seem to buy it, but that didn’t stop him from making small talk as he sized Dieter up. The two men were of similar height, but Dieter was much broader and thick, while Alec was leaner and more sculpted. There was no contest there. 

In my periphery, I noticed Lana giving me the stink eye from the other side of the room. Well, that tells me all I need to know about her. I awkwardly moved to extract myself from Alec’s hold, noting that the photographer was ready for us. As we listened to the photographer’s instructions, I could tell Dieter’s energy was off. I glanced back in the direction we had come from, realizing Alec was still standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. His intimidating gaze now focused on us. The photographer politely suggested a few poses for us, we complied but I could tell Dieter was hesitating when it came to touching me.

After Alec left the room, the energy shifted. Both of us eventually relaxing enough to have fun with it as I instructed him into several less intimate dance poses. We spent a lot of time laughing over his failed attempts. Once our hour was up, the photographer seemed happy with the shots he had taken. Even commenting that we had been one of the more fun couples that he had worked with so far. Dieter took the credit for that, citing that he was just a fun guy to be around. I couldn’t help but to roll my eyes at him. At that point, we were finished for the day. We quickly got changed and said our goodbyes so we could go home to rest and prepare for what was to come. 

Tuesdays started with production meetings. Today we would be having our first one to go over the details of our routine - the dance, costumes, and music. I always hated these meetings and felt like it was something that could have been given to us in writing. However, I suspected these meetings served another purpose. It was an opportunity for Stacia and Joe to see how the dancers and celebrities were getting along. A chance for them to learn about our relationships and see where they could throw the gasoline next. Knowing that was most likely the real reasoning caused my frustrations to grow. It made me feel anxious in a way that had never been an issue in the past because I knew they were looking to manipulate us in any way they could. I knew I would need to be vigilant and make sure we were not playing into their games. 

I had debated warning Dieter about Stacia and Joe and was still considering it while I ate my breakfast. As I was finishing up, my phone pinged with multiple texts from Alec with an absurd number of questions about my schedule for the week. I let out a controlled breath as I read through them - rolling my eyes before throwing my phone down on the counter without responding. I didn’t have time for that, nor did I want to deal with it. Instead, I moved toward the bathroom to shower and get ready for my day. 

Dieter’s POV My Tuesday had a ridiculously early start. My upcoming schedule was so packed my assistant had to work hard to squeeze in appointments with my therapist wherever he could. So that’s how I ended up in Dr. Smith’s office at 7 AM. Of course, the topic of the day was how things were going with my dance partner and rehearsals. Dr. Smith seemed to zero in on the topic of feelings when I made a comment about how weird it was being so physically close to someone for so long - that it almost felt inappropriate and uncomfortable at times. She immediately asked me to expand on that. After a few minutes of struggling to put it into words, she finally spoke up to share her thoughts. 

“Dieter, we’ve talked about your aversion to intimacy before. I think that’s where this is coming from. I don’t know much about ballroom dancing, but I do know it involves a lot of intimacy and you are not used to that.” 

 I shook my head, “But it’s not like that…it’s not sexual.” Not physically anyway…my thoughts are another story. 

She chuckled, “Intimacy isn’t just sexual. You can have intimacy with friends and family too. It can be emotional, intellectual, creative…there are so many ways to connect with someone that doesn’t involve sex. It’s something that quite frankly, you’ve been starved of and avoided most of your life. So, I can see why it would make you uncomfortable and why you would have the urge to shy away from it.” 

I snorted and spoke before I realized what I was doing, “But I don’t wanna…” Fuck. I caught myself too late.

Her brow furrowed, “You don’t want to what?” 

I sighed, “I don’t wanna shy away from it. I actually enjoy being around Kat. It’s just a little…intense, I guess. It makes me feel anxious and something else…that I don’t really know how to explain.”

Dr. Smith tilted her head slightly as she took in my words, “Dieter, are you attracted to her?” 

Yes. “No…I mean she’s nice looking. I can’t deny that, but she has a fiancée. It’s just…s-she treats me…like a person. She doesn’t look at me and see a fuck up. She’s giving me a chance and not just automatically assuming that I’m gonna fall back into old habits. You know what I mean?”

Dr. Smith nodded, “So, you’re developing a relationship with her that isn’t based on sex or favors.” 

I rubbed at the deep crease between my brows, “Yeah, I guess so. I suppose it’s probably the closest thing that I’ve had to an actual friendship in a long time…but I mean, it’s only been a week. So, I’m not even sure if I can call it that…but it does feel like more than just working together if that makes sense? We laugh, we joke, we vibe. I guess it does feel like we have some type of connection….and…I find myself wanting to…please her?” I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth, “NO! Not that. Umm, I guess…do a good job is what I mean. I don’t wanna let her down.” 

We stared at each other for a beat, Dr. Smith had a thoughtful look on face as she digested my words. “Dieter…this might be a good thing for you. I want you to work on being open with her. Develop the friendship between the two of you. I think it would be good practice for you, emotionally, to connect with someone in that way. It sounds like she’s willing to build a friendship with you and give you the benefit of the doubt. I know you’ve been seeking that…and it would be good for you to have a friend that’s supportive of your recovery. You don’t have a lot of that right now…and it’s important.”

This is a bad fucking idea. “Ok…yeah. I’ll try.” 

I left that therapy session feeling more on edge than I did before I had gone in. I was feeling a lot of conflict and confusion about my feelings toward Kat, which was ridiculous because I hadn’t known her for that long. Sure, I thought she was physically attractive and normally that alone would’ve been enough for me to pursue her for sex. Aside from the fact that she was taken, I actually didn’t want to ruin what we were potentially building for a quick roll in the sack. I wanted more. I enjoyed spending time with her, and she made me want to be better. I found myself wondering what it would be like to spend time with her outside of the dance studio - doing something as simple as getting lunch or stopping into a bookstore to find a book together that we could discuss after reading. I had never wanted something like that with someone. It was both scary and exciting. 

I soon found myself parking outside Television City Studios for our first production meeting. I now had a fluttering in my stomach that was almost foreign. As I sat rolling up the sleeves of my dress shirt, I decided it was nerves related to the impending live show in less than a week's time. The production meeting made it feel more real and imminent. 

Walking into the main entrance, I spotted Kat waiting in the lobby. Her eyes locked on me as I approached. She had an odd expression, her eyes seeming to roam over me before she met my gaze with a smirk on her face.

“What’s wrong, do I have too many buttons open or something?” I asked, jokingly.

She laughed nervously as she shook her head, “No. Your buttons are open just the right amount…That shade of blue looks really good on you.”   

I smiled as my face heated from the compliment. I leaned my head downward and swiped my thumb across my bottom lip before glancing back up at her. Is she blushing? She looks flushed. 

She cleared her throat, “Umm…before we get called in there, I wanted to warn you about Stacia and Joe. They like to…try and…”

I smirked, thinking back to my first interaction with them, “Create drama?” 

Kat huffed out a laugh, “Yeah…that. I have a feeling they’re gonna try and manipulate things with us and with Alec and Lana. It’s all about ratings with them.” 

I nodded, “I picked up on that during our first meeting. I figured. Don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna play into whatever it is they’re trying to do.” 

She had a sad smile on her face now, “Thank you. I appreciate that. At least two of us are on the same page.” 

Two? What does that mean? I opened my mouth to ask but was interrupted by a production assistant who was sent to lead us to the meeting space.

Once we entered the conference room, we were greeted with a smiling Stacia and Joe. Kat and I took our seats on the opposite side of the table from them, careful not to sit too closely together. I could tell they were studying us as soon as we walked through the door, looking for their angle. Stacia spoke first, “So, how is everything going with you two? Did you have a good first week of rehearsals?” 

Kat and I gave each other a knowing look before I responded. “It’s been going good. Kat is a great teacher…I seem to be picking things up quickly.”  

Stacia and Joe stared at me for a moment. Stacia’s brow arched slightly, like she was waiting for me to say more. When I didn’t, she finally smiled, “Well…that’s good to hear. We want to make sure you two are getting along ok.” 

Kat leaned forward and tilted her head slightly, “Is there a reason that we wouldn’t?” 

Stacia laughed and shifted nervously in her seat, “Of course not…just making conversation.” 

Well, that’s interesting. I had a feeling that Kat made Stacia uncomfortable, maybe even intimidated her some. Kat did seem to be giving off dominating vibes, which was fucking hot. Stacia cleared her throat as she pulled a couple sheets of paper out of a folder and slid them toward us. It appeared to be sketches for our costumes. They were both completely black. Kat’s gown was long and flowy with a very low back and front. 

“Your first performance will be the Foxtrot to the song Fever. You’ll be doing the behind the scenes filming on Friday this week. Do you have any objections to the costume sketches?” 

I glanced over at Kat, ready to agree with whatever she said since I wasn’t sure what she was comfortable with. 

Kat glanced down one last time, “I’m fine with them, Dieter?”   

I shrugged, “I’m good if she is.” 

We sat in an awkward silence for a beat, staring at each other. What the hell is this?

“Is there anything else?” Kat finally asked. 

Stacia nodded, “No. I guess not…unless you guys have anything to discuss?” 

Kat and I both shook our heads with confused expressions. 

Stacia eyed Kat, “Have you met Lana yet? I know she was excited to meet you.”

The energy around Kat shifted, her eyes darkened, and her jaw clenched at the question. Fuck. Please don’t react to that. “We did yesterday.” I said, speaking before I had time to think through my response. “She seemed very nice…Alec too. We had a lovely chat during the photoshoot.” I forced a smile and hoped it didn’t look fake. We need to get out of here. “Well, it was nice seeing you two again. We need to get to the dance studio to start working on our routine. I need all the practice I can get.”  

I looked over at Kat, who was giving me a grateful smile as she moved toward the door. We said our goodbyes as we exited the room, walking in silence until we reached the lobby. Kat turned to look at me, her brows furrowed as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“What the fuck was that?” I asked, completely confused by the interaction. 

“I dunno, it was bizarre. I guess they’re trying to figure out how to stir up drama between the four of us. I can guarantee it won’t be coming from either of us.”  

I arched my brows, “What do you mean?” 

She shook her head, not saying anything as she reached for her phone to check the time. “Our rehearsal space should be open soon. I’m gonna run home and grab my bag. I forgot it.”

I nodded, “Yeah…I’ll meet you there.”

That was an odd response from her. It made me wonder if something was going on with her and Alec. I could sense tension between them during the photoshoot but couldn’t exactly work out the cause of it. Whatever the reasoning, I felt like Stacia was aware of it and was actively trying to work it in her favor for ratings. That did make me sad for Kat because she didn’t deserve it.   

Kat moved to leave, but stopped, waving her phone as she turned to face me, “I guess we should probably exchange numbers…” 

“Oh, right. Of course.” I quickly typed my number into her phone. She followed up by shooting me a quick text with a waving emoji so I would have hers, then we said our goodbyes for now. 

I decided to grab an early lunch before heading to the dance studio. I briefly wondered if I should have asked Kat if she wanted anything. I was tempted to text her but didn’t want to start abusing my texting privileges already. She probably only wanted me to text if I was running late or something anyway. 

As I sat in the parking lot of the dance studio, eating my burrito, a hand smacked against the driver side window. It startled me, nearly causing me to drop my food. I hit the button to lower the glass and was met with Kat’s laughter as she moved to lean against my car. 

I sat smiling at her until her giggles finally subsided.

“Thanks for that. You were very close to cleaning the inside of my car.” 

She smiled, “I would have too, because it would’ve been my fault. I’m sorry. Totally worth it though.” 

I rolled my eyes at her, taking another bite. 

She leaned down, nearly sticking her head inside the car, “That looks good, where’s that from?”

“That Mexican place on Spring Street. I’ve got another, you want it? They’re fucking huge. No way I can eat it.”  Which was the truth. I wasn’t expecting them to be so big. She scrunched her nose, “What kind is it?” She’s too fucking adorable when she does that. 

I reached to pull the foil wrapped burrito out of the bag and held it up to her, “Cheesy steak and rice.”

She snatched it out of my hand, “If you insist. I’m never gonna turn down food.”

I laughed at her, “Good to know. Next time I’ll get your order.”

She moved to lean against the hood of my car as I got out with what was left of my burrito in one hand and my soda in the other. I leaned against the hood beside her and set my drink down between us as she started eating. A quiet moan escaped her lips causing little Bravo to involuntarily twitch in my pants. Fuck. That was hot.

“Ugh, this is so good. I’ve never been to that place. Clearly, I need to go.”

All I could muster in response was a nod. We ate in silence for a few minutes before she reached for my drink, tilting it forward and raising a brow at me as if to ask if it was ok. I nodded again and she took a quick sip before setting it back down. Once I finally got my thoughts in check, I was surprised by how at ease she seemed around me today.

Kat licked at the juices running down the side of her hand. I laughed at her and reached into the car to grab some napkins, handing them to her as she spoke, “Maybe we can start grabbing lunch on Tuesdays after our production meetings. We could get a head start discussing our routine since we have this odd break before our scheduled studio time.” 

“Yeah, I’m cool with that.” More than I should be. I was giddy at the thought of spending time with her outside of rehearsals. 

Her eyes narrowed on me as I finished up the last of my food, “So what does Dieter Bravo do in his free time?”    

I gave her a small smile as she stared at me with a soft gaze, “These days, not a whole lot. I moved into a beach house in Santa Monica about six months ago. I mostly just hole up there with my plants, music, and art supplies. I’ve pretty much had to change my whole life around since I got out of rehab.”

She had a sad smile on her lips now, nodding as she swallowed her latest bite. I had a feeling she knew what all that meant. “Plants and art supplies? So, you grow things and paint?” 

I laughed, “Yes…and I do mean houseplants. Don’t get any ideas.” 

She chuckled, “The thought didn’t even cross my mind.” She paused, rolling back the wrapping on her burrito, “It’s unexpected and cool, actually. I love art. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body, but I do love looking at other people’s work.” 

I raised a questioning eyebrow at her, “Dance is an art form…”

She rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean…painting, drawing…those kinds of things.”

I nodded, “Well, anyone can paint. So, don’t sell yourself short on that. You should give it a try. It’s a good stress reliever.” 

She shrugged, “What about the plants? Why plants?” 

I chuckled, “I don’t fucking know. That’s a fairly new obsession. I guess…I like learning about them. They all have different needs. There’s something about watching them grow and thrive from the care I’m putting into them. They also add a little extra something…makes the house homier.” I shook my head and laughed. Geez, I sound ridiculous. 

She smiled at me, “What’s wrong? Are you embarrassed by your love of plants?” 

I could feel my face heating up, “No…I mean, maybe. It’s a little weird, don’t ya think?”

She shook her head, “It’s surprising, but not weird. I kind of love it. It’s sweet.” 

Her eyes sparkled as she gave me an endearing smile, which caused knots to form in my stomach. She moved to take another drink from my soda, and I suddenly found her lips wrapping around the straw to be a little distracting. I had to force my line of sight elsewhere. 

She groaned as she stuck the last bit of the burrito in her mouth, “Ugh, I’m probably gonna regret that. Good thing we have some time to digest while we talk about our routine.” I laughed as I reached into the car to grab my bag so I could change once we got inside. 

After I got changed, Kat found our song and played it. We listened in silence while we did some basic stretches. After the song concluded, she sat quietly with her legs stretched out in front of her, thinking. She let out a controlled breath as she rubbed her hands down her face.  

“Ok, so…the foxtrot is probably one of the more difficult standard dances to learn. We haven’t gone over it yet. It requires a heel lead and gliding steps that should appear effortless and elegant. It’s a box step similar to the waltz, but the timing is different…it’s a mixture of slow steps that take up two beats and quick steps that take up one beat. It’s a slow, slow, quick, quick movement while maintaining a closed position with your partner. Let’s start with the basic steps, then we’ll start adding the flare to it.” 

I sat on the floor in front of her, listening intently, nodding along. She moved to stand, reaching out her hands to help pull me up to my feet. We spent a good amount of time working on the basic steps. She started with having me do the steps alone so she could watch my movements. It took a little longer than I would have liked to get the timing right, but I eventually caught on. Once I had it down, we assumed the closed position and began moving together. Initially her proximity was distracting, but I was able to move past it and focus on our movements. After we mastered the basics moving both forward and backwards, she added turning box steps to the mix.   

Now that I had the footwork down for the foxtrot, Kat wasted no time jumping in to craft a routine for us. I mostly watched her as she talked through ideas, occasionally stopping to work out the steps and movements on her own. She asked for input, but I didn’t feel confident enough to really have an opinion on any of it at this point. Overall, it was a light day as we worked through our plans. The afternoon flew by, and our rehearsal time was up before we knew it. 

As we were leaving, Kat warned me that we would be hitting things pretty hard for the rest of the week, so I needed to prepare myself. I laughed it off, but honestly, I was terrified. I was nervous about the increased physical contact with her. I had done well ignoring it so far, but I knew once we started getting into the routines, the contact was going to increase exponentially. It wasn’t just the fact that I found her to be incredibly attractive, but also because physical closeness was something that I never did with people that I didn’t have an active sexual relationship with. Even in those instances, it was about pleasure and nothing else. This was going to be weird for me and I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

When I got home that evening, I had a quick dinner then grabbed my tablet with the thought that I would look up some foxtrot videos on YouTube. I figured it might give me some ideas so I could have input on our routine since Kat insisted that she wanted me involved. I made my way out back to sit on a lounger next to the firepit - allowing the sounds of the ocean to lull me into relaxation before I went down my YouTube rabbit hole. 

I was honestly shocked at the range of routines I watched. Some were very serious and professional while others favored the more sensual side of the dance. I could feel my stomach fluttering at the thought of dancing like that with Kat. Sure, the idea was slightly arousing, but also imagining her looking at me the way these dancers were looking at each other caused my heart to skip a beat. It was a new kind of feeling that I couldn’t really find the words for. 

At some point, a video of Kat popped up from a previous season of the show. I watched it a couple of times, studying her face and the way she moved with her partner. It all felt very cold, like she was just going through the motions. She seemed focused on trying to get her partner through the routine rather than feeling the emotions of the dance. I eventually scrolled down to the ‘suggested videos’ section, finding a few of Kat and Alec from professional dance competitions that were several years old. In these, Kat was different. It was clear that she and Alec had chemistry on the dance floor. The way she moved her body was hypnotic and the way she looked at Alec was almost carnal. I couldn’t imagine her dancing like this with me. The thought of it made me dizzy and anxious. I wouldn’t be able to handle that level of emotion from her.  

Sighing, I set the tablet down on the ground beside me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the lounger, trying to get that visual out of my mind. After a few minutes of contemplative silence, I sensed movement near my feet. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the furry intruder that refused to leave my yard. He sat for a moment, staring at me as if to ask if he could approach me. When I didn’t react, he hopped up onto my lap and meowed loudly in my face. I sighed, finally giving in to his cuteness and scratched behind his ears. He wasted no time crawling up my chest to rub his head against my beard, “Alright little dude, don’t get too excited. This isn’t gonna be a thing.” 

I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped between my lips as he started purring. This fucking cat. My arms slid around his small frame and cuddled him closer. I realized he felt a little boney under all that fur. I sighed louder this time, “I fucking knew this was gonna happen. You finally got me dude…come on.” I sat him down on the ground, grabbed my tablet, and got up to walk toward the house. He followed behind me, swishing his tail. I walked through the sliding door into the kitchen in search of something for him to eat. I found a few packets of tuna in the pantry and grabbed one. When I turned around, I was met with two green eyes staring at me from the floor. I chuckled, “Please, do come in.” I grabbed a bowl and emptied the pouch into it. He waited patiently for me to set it down in front of him - immediately digging in once I did, making little growling noises as he ate. I guess I have a fucking cat now.   

Katarina’s POV As I drove home, I took the time to reflect on my day. Stacia almost got a rise out of me this morning. I couldn’t let her do that because it would only add fuel to the flames she was trying to create. It was clear to me now that she was hoping Lana would drive a wedge between Alec and me. My fear was that it was working. I could already tell he had been more distant since rehearsals started. It wasn’t unusual given our schedules, but he would usually send texts throughout the day. I hadn’t received one from him since yesterday. I could feel the hurt creeping in. However, there was also a part of me hoping he would fuck up again because it was all beginning to be too much. I wanted to give up and I wanted out. 

Then there was Dieter. It was obvious that he sensed my unease at the mention of Lana, and he jumped in to cover for me without hesitation. He was damn near believable in his response. He and I hadn’t discussed anything related to Alec and Lana in detail, but I felt like he knew there was more to it than I had shared. I had to appreciate that he didn’t try to pry for information while also acting as the supportive dance partner. 

I don’t know what it is about Dieter, but I feel comfortable with him. Even though most people would probably call me crazy for it, I actually trust him. The realization hit me this morning after the production meeting. As I drove toward the dance studio, I made a conscious decision to build a friendship with him because I felt like he really needed it. Maybe we both did. 

When I finally got home, I quickly ate some leftovers while I waited for the bathtub to fill up. I knew I needed to start taking extra steps to keep my body happy if I was going to make it through this season. I was doing ok so far - seeming to have no pain or inflammation present in my joints. I knew that could change at any time. Especially once we really got going in rehearsals. I was already dreading the Latin dances. I knew that the knee and hip pain would start quickly with those. The foot pain would come soon enough. The dance shoes always got that going, which was why I hadn’t worn any during rehearsals yet. I had planned to limit those as much as possible. After I finished eating, I took all my daily supplements that I had forgotten that morning, then got into the tub to relax. 

I found my thoughts drifting back to Dieter, remembering how the blue color of the dress shirt he had on this morning looked amazing against his skin. Then I remembered how my attention was drawn to his exposed forearms – to his tattoos peeking out and the way the muscles flexed as he moved his hands when he spoke. As the day went on, I began having a ridiculous urge to touch his hair. That started while we were outside the studio, leaning against his car. The soft waves were gently blowing in the breeze begging to have my fingers run through them. He was so effortlessly handsome and clearly lacked the confidence to go with it, which was surprising to me. 

Then my thoughts jumped to a shirtless Dieter from the day before. I suddenly felt that familiar throb between my thighs. Fucking hell, don’t go there Kat. I was tempted to let my mind continue down that path, but I knew it would be wrong. I couldn’t entertain those thoughts, no matter how good I thought he looked. Especially if I wanted to establish a legitimate friendship with him. I sighed and dunked myself under the water for a moment, hoping that would clear my head. It didn’t. I got out of the tub and went to bed frustrated. 

I awoke to the sound of pounding on the front door. Glancing at the clock, it was close to 1 AM. I sighed and got out of bed. As I got closer to the door, I could hear Alec drunkenly rambling to let him in. I was half tempted to leave his ass out there. When I opened the door, he stumbled inside, hugging me against him and almost pulling both of us to the floor.

I pushed him off me, “Alec…what the fuck?”   

He blew his beer laden breath across my face as he spoke in a slur, “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t wanna drive home. I was at the bar up the street with the guys…I can’t find my phone.” 

“You realize we have a group rehearsal in the morning, right?” 

He waved his hand at me like it was no big deal and stumbled off toward the bedroom, collapsing on the bed, fully dressed. This was a good reminder as to why we hadn’t moved in together yet. I huffed, moving to take his shoes and clothes off while he mumbled something about wanting to fuck before fully passing out. Once I got him situated, I crawled into bed and settled in for a night of restless sleep. 

Alec woke me before my alarm went off, kissing down my neck. I admittedly was still a little worked up from the night before, so I went with it. I briefly stopped him, reaching into the nightstand for a condom. He rolled his eyes in protest as I handed it to him, but I wasn’t taking any chances. He put the condom on before flipping me over, pulling my hips up to meet him, then pulling my shorts down so he could roughly take me from behind. He didn’t last long, and I got no satisfaction from it. When he was done, he got into the shower without a word. This dismissive behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary for him, but something felt different. I felt like he was staking his claim, reminding me that I belonged to him. I suddenly hated myself for allowing it to happen like that. It made me feel dirty somehow.  

After he was showered and dressed, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and said he would see me at group rehearsals. I nodded, watching him as he walked out of the bedroom. He seemed off, but I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe it was just a bad hangover and everything else was all in my head. 

Wednesdays were always the worst. Every week, the professional dancers did a group performance at the start of the show. I really wished they wouldn’t do these because it just added more to our plate. Luckily the first few weeks were not as bad since we still had so many cast members to take up airtime. The burden of the extra performances would increase as more groups were voted off. Eventually, the celebrities would be added to the group performances. I wasn’t looking forward to that as we progressed through the competition. Since it was the first week, this rehearsal went fast, and it was fairly easy. Alec struggled through it, clearly hung over from the night before, but I didn’t feel bad for him.

After five hours of rehearsals with the professional cast, I had to rush to grab a late lunch. I didn’t have much time before meeting with Dieter for our late afternoon rehearsal. When I arrived at the dance studio, Dieter was there waiting. He was laying on the floor, his head propped on his bag with a tablet sitting on his chest. His eyes met mine as he smiled up at me. 

“What are you doing?” I asked through a chuckle. 

He grabbed the tablet and quickly sat up, “I hope you don’t mind…but I pulled up some videos last night to get some ideas.” 

I don’t know why this surprised me. I figured he would leave most of the choreography to me. However, I loved that he was trying. He looked a little sheepish as he asked if he could show me a couple of things. I smiled and nodded as I sat on the floor beside him, mirroring the way he was sitting, with my legs stretched out in front of me. He gave me a shy smile as he turned on his tablet, “Don’t laugh, but I made a playlist and saved them.” I didn’t laugh, but I couldn’t help smiling at him. I watched as he opened the YouTube app to the ‘home’ tab. He quickly tapped on the ‘foxtrot’ playlist, but not before I saw my name in the title of a video under the ‘watch history’ section. I could feel my heart rate pickup as he glanced over at me, fighting a shy smile. 

“Yeah, I saw that…you watching videos of me, Bravo?” I asked with a teasing tone.

He shrugged, still trying not to smile as his cheeks flushed, “I watched a lot of videos from previous seasons. You may have been in one or two of them.” 

“Mmmhmm. Right.” 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Anyway…I was thinking what we have so far feels almost mechanical…if that makes sense?” He’s not wrong. Dieter glanced at me; his dark eyes rounded as he took in my expression. I think he was worried it would upset me. 

I pursed my lips, “I don’t disagree with that. Thank you for pointing it out.”

His shoulders relaxed, “Ok, good. I was afraid that would piss you off.” 

I rolled my eyes, “It takes a lot more than that to piss me off. I always want you to be open about what you’re feeling. Besides, I didn’t think it felt right either. So…what are you thinking?” 

He inhaled deeply before launching into his thoughts, “Well, I think we need to add some emotion to it to start…nothing too crazy…I’ve saved a few videos. I think if we can find a good balance in the emotion and feel of all these dances it would be perfect. I don’t mind doing a little acting with it.”  

He had picked some very good examples. The first few videos showed professional choreography infused with different dance styles. The last few included a lot of acting and storytelling with the dancers' movements and were more toward the sensual side of things. During the last few videos, I could see the tension in his face. He was worried it would bother me. It didn’t of course since this was what dancing was about. I, however, was concerned about what that meant for me emotionally. It was going to require a lot of trust and a deeper connection that I usually didn’t have with my dance partners on the show. There was also the tiny issue of me finding Dieter Bravo to be incredibly attractive. 

Once the last video ended, I glanced up at him. “You're ok with doing that kind of stuff?”  

His eyebrows shot up, “I mean, maybe not that intense. Those...are a lot… but I’m comfortable with whatever you're comfortable with.”  

I nodded, surprised of his willingness to try something different. “You know…our song has sort of a jazzy sound. Maybe we can infuse some jazz elements into it?”

Dieter’s eyes lit up at that suggestion, “I’m actually digging that idea.”

“Ok…well, this dance isn’t gonna figure itself out. Let’s get going.” I stood, “We need to make sure we stretch more going forward because it’s about to get a lot harder on our bodies. You’re probably about to hate me.” 

He looked worried as I told him to lay back flat on the floor and moved to help him with some leg stretches - leaning against him to push back on his leg first with it straight in the air then against his knee to push it into his chest. He whined and groaned through it the entire time. After completing the same steps with his other leg, I had him sit up and put his feet flat together in front of him in a butterfly pose. I took the same position in front of him, keeping his legs in place with my knees and pulled him forward by his hands. He again began whining through it. I had to appreciate that he didn’t make it awkward like most people did, but it was near impossible not to laugh at his dramatic behavior. We went through several more partner stretches, both of us trying to keep it together as his dramatics increased with each new stretch. 

By the time we were done with the stretches, Dieter was already breaking out in a sweat. He gave me the stink eye and huffed as he got up off the floor, “I’m fairly certain that could be classified as some form of torture.”  

I laughed, “Stop being a drama queen. We’ve gotta keep those hips loose or you won’t make it through the Latin dances.” 

He raised an eyebrow at me, “I have loose hips?” 

I chuckled, “Surprisingly, yes.”

He smirked, “I take it that’s a good thing?” 

I nodded, smiling back at him, “It’s good for a lot of things.” I did not just say that.

“For dancing…it’s good for a lot of different dance moves. There’s umm…a lot of hip thrusting…in Latin dances, is what I mean.” Fucking hell, Kat. Shut up. 

The longer I rambled, the bigger his smile got. I could feel the heat creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. “I’m just gonna stop there. That came out so wrong.”  

Dieter laughed, “It’s kind of cute when you're flustered.” 

I put my hands on my hips and blew a strand of hair out of my face, “Just…shut up.” He snorted, shaking his head at me as I moved to stand in the center of the room. “Alright, let’s focus and get this figured out.” 

He made his way over to me, still trying to hold in his chuckles while I ignored him and moved to stand in position. I tilted my head and arched my brows. I now had my serious face on, needing to move past that minor embarrassment. “Let’s go through what we have so far. Ok?”   

From that point on, the both of us were all business. Dieter was laser focused and I found that we collaborated well together. As the minutes ticked on, he seemed to be more comfortable expressing his thoughts about the routine, however, I could tell he was still holding back when it came to physical closeness. He would hesitate anytime he had to touch anywhere outside of my arms or waist.  

“Dieter, I really need for you to get over this physical contact phobia, ok? I’m telling you now, it’s ok to touch me while we’re dancing.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a controlled breath, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I’m just trying to be respectful, and this kind of goes against all that.” 

I placed both of my hands on his cheeks and squished them together causing his plump lips to pucker slightly. His eyes popped open and focused on me in shock, “I promise, I’ll give you a warning before I throat punch you if I feel like you're being inappropriate…k.”  

I patted the side of his face with my right hand, then pulled away. His eyes rounded as he stared at me, unblinking, “Is that supposed to be comforting? Because it isn’t.” 

A small chuckle bubbled out as I took in his expression. His puppy eyes were in full effect. I both hated and loved when he looked at me like that. It made me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling. 

I smirked, “I’m joking, I won’t throat punch you, but I will smack you if I think it’s necessary.” 

His brow furrowed as he shook his head, snorting out a small laugh, “Oh… okay. That’s sooo much better.” 

Rolling my eyes at him, I moved to our starting position. 

“Alright, stop your whining. Let’s take it from the top with what we have so far.” 

Dieter nodded and stepped closer, setting his frame, and taking hold of me. He was still too far away. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes on him, sighing as I stepped even closer to his front so that we were in a proper closed position. He gave me a tight smile before looking off to the left. I began counting our steps as we moved around the room in perfect synchronization until Dieter’s timing faltered. We kept going, but I could feel his posture changing. I glanced over at him and realized his jaw was tense. 

“Is something wrong?” I asked without stopping. 

He kept going, not looking in my direction as he said, “It appears we have an audience.” 

During a reverse turn, I glanced toward the hallway windows - instantly finding the cause of his disturbance. Alec was watching us. His piercing gaze made me feel uneasy. What is his fucking problem? 

“Just keep going and ignore him. You’re not doing anything wrong…box turn, then promenade.” 

Dieter inhaled deeply following through on those instructions before moving to lead me into an inside turn. As we reached the end of the choreography that we had so far, I glanced toward the windows. Alec was gone. 

My eyes met Dieter’s, “Let’s take a water break.”

He nodded before pulling the hem of his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his forehead. I couldn’t help the way my eyes raked over his exposed skin. I had to force myself to turn away from him as I drank from my water bottle. 

“Alec doesn’t like me, does he?” Dieter asked from behind me before taking a drink of his own water.

I casually turned to him, “He’s concerned about your womanizing ways. I guess he’s worried you're gonna steal me away from him or something.”  

Dieter smirked, “I mean, I would never do anything you didn’t want me to…”

My brows arched in surprise at his words. I absolutely can’t handle him saying shit like that to me. I could already feel the effects of his words and that devilish smirk pulsing between my thighs. 

Dieter was quick to add, “That did not come out the way I meant it…” He shook his head and laughed nervously as he raked his hair back out of his face, “I just mean…I respect you too much to do anything like that. Your friendship is important to me. I don’t wanna ruin it by being a dick…and I’m not that guy anymore. Besides, he should trust you. You’ve been nothing but professional.” 

Friendship...I actually kind of hate that word. A crease formed between my brows as I looked down at the floor, “Yeah, well…you can’t tell him that apparently. Just don’t pay any attention to him. He’s being ridiculous over nothing. I’ll tell him to knock it off.” 

“Hey.” He was standing directly in front of me now as I looked up to meet his gaze. His obsidian eyes were burning into mine, nearly taking my breath away. “If I’m doing something to make things harder on you, please tell me. I can tell this is causing tension between you two.”  

I gave him a weak smile, “The fact that you even exist is enough to bother him. You’re not doing anything, so don’t stress about it.” 

His lips were set in a tight line as he studied my face, taking in my words. He didn’t look convinced, but he nodded and dropped the subject. We continued with building our routine for the next hour. Then our studio time was up for the day. 

By the time Friday rolled around, we pretty much had our routine planned out. It was a ‘behind the scenes’ filming day, so we had to put up with the camera crew being in our space as we ran through the full routine to the music for the first time. We also had to periodically stop to film their interview questions. The questions were beyond frustrating - mostly focusing on our chemistry and how well we worked together. It was clear they were trying to drive a certain narrative and were not getting what they wanted from us. I could tell Dieter had picked up on it too based on the looks he was shooting my way. It felt like such a waste of our time. Once we got rid of the film crew, we managed to complete a few run-throughs with the music without error. We were both feeling pretty good about it. However, Dieter admitted that his nerves were starting to flare up as we got closer to show day. He looked vulnerable at that moment, and I just wanted to pull him into a hug. Instead, I settled for a quick squeeze of the hand and told him everything would be ok because we would get through it together. That seemed to calm him some. 

Dieter’s POV This week had gone by in a blur. I attributed it to enjoying the time that I was spending with Kat. She and I were working so well together. I couldn’t recall ever having such a positive or productive experience with someone in a work setting. We were both clearly more comfortable around each other now. She was quick witted with her banter and often kept me on my toes with her jokes. I loved that we had a similar sense of humor. During the more serious moments, we worked together with such intense focus that it was almost like we shared a single brain - often on the same wavelength and anticipating what the other was saying before they said it. She was very receptive to any suggestions I had and often praised me for my involvement with crafting the routine, which only made me want to do more. There was nothing more satisfying than seeing her face light up when she liked one of my suggestions.   

As the week progressed and the dancing got more intense, Kat was going heavy on stretches to start the day. While it was torture, the partner stretches were quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do. I made sure to bust out the dramatics just to make her laugh. God, I loved hearing her laugh. I also didn’t mind the close proximity that some of the stretches put us in. When she made the comment about me having “loose hips” being good for a lot of things I was a little stunned. Her descent into embarrassment afterward was so fucking adorable. It was hard not to wonder if she had thought about me like that. Was it a Freudian slip? This was a thought that kept creeping in when I would least expect it and caused me to think all sorts of inappropriate things. Especially when she would give me that look that was somewhere between teasing and flirting that made my dick twitch. The logical part of my brain kept reminding me of that big shiny rock on her finger. The wishful side hoped that she did indeed feel something for me. 

The feelings that I was having were very complicated and I wasn’t sure how to navigate them. Alec was adding a whole other layer to things with his possessiveness over Kat. The guy honestly worried me a little bit, so I was determined to be on my best behavior when it came to her no matter what my emotions said. I didn’t want to give him any reason to do something stupid, because my gut told me he was that type that would.   

Sunday was our last rehearsal for the week in the dance studio. We spent our hours fine tuning things with the music the best we could without hearing the live band’s version of the song. Kat warned me that we may have to make last minute adjustments during the dress rehearsal, which was stressing me out a little. It just gave more room for me to fuck something up once we got the live show. Kat seemed surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Then again, she had been doing this for years. Her confidence in me did help alleviate some of the anxiety I was starting to feel, but not all of it.

After rehearsals, we made our way to Television City Studios. It was spray tan day for the entire cast. This was one of the things that I was not looking forward to. Upon arrival, I made my way to my dressing room to get undressed down to my boxer briefs and threw on the robe that was provided. I followed the robe clad group toward a big open room where everyone waited their turn. I quickly found Kat scrolling through her phone in the far corner, away from the crowd. I went to wait with her since I hadn’t really met any of the other cast members yet. We stood chatting as Alec and Lana slowly walked down the hallway; eyes fixed on each other as they shared a smile. Lana reached out to hook her arm with his, but once he noticed Kat, he pulled away from her and walked toward us. Yeah asshole, I see you.  

Alec was quick to wrap himself around Kat, putting his body between us as he did so. Alright man, I get it. You think you own her. He attempted to make small talk but was coming off as an arrogant asshole as he bragged about how great of a dance teacher he was. Kat honestly looked embarrassed by him. As I stood listening, a production assistant walked by. I took the opportunity to interrupt Alec to ask the PA what sort of spray tan they were using. The PA gave me a look of annoyance, “What does it matter?” she asked with a rude tone. Damn, who pissed in your cheerios this morning. 

“It matters because I don’t want a bunch of chemicals sprayed on me. That shit can cause a disruption in cellular metabolic processes…it can be carcinogenic. Is it all natural?” I had a slight irritation to my tone.

Her brow furrowed, “You’re worried about a spray tan when you used to do coke, LSD, and who knows what else? Is this a joke?” My eyes widened at her response. Ok. That’s probably a fair question. 

I sensed Kat was about to say something, but Alec stopped her. I gave the PA a sarcastic smile, “Well, I’ve gotta live a clean life now to make up for all that damage I did. Humor me, please.”

The PA rolled her eyes, “Yes, we use an all-natural certified organic spray tan solution. So, you're safe from the carcinogens.” She said that last bit with a snippy tone. I should be used to being talked to like this by now, but it still pissed me off. 

“Thank you, that’s all you had to say.”  

I heard Alec laugh as he turned his back toward me to talk to Kat, effectively dismissing me from the conversation. I could tell Kat wanted to say something to me, but he was blocking her from doing so as he asked her if she was free tonight. 

Another PA with a clipboard approached me at that point to let me know it was my turn. I gave Kat a tight smile as I was led into the large room that was set up with individual pop-up privacy tents for cast members to step into to remove their robes and get sprayed. 

Once I was finished, I went directly to my dressing room. My good mood had been soured by the PA’s comment and Alec being a jackass. I sat down in the chair in front of the vanity wondering what Alec and Kat’s relationship was actually like on a good day. I didn’t get good vibes from the guy. I really hoped that he treated her ok. She deserved that.   

I was drawn from my thoughts by a knock on the door, “Come in.” 

Kat came through the door, looking behind her as she entered. I assumed to check if anyone was around to see her enter my dressing room. When she finally turned to face me, she paused, taking in my state of undress with wide eyes. I was still wearing the robe and boxer briefs. I now realized the robe was no longer closed, “Oh shit…sorry,” I mumbled as I stood from the chair and tied it shut. I didn’t care if she saw me like this, I was used to it, but I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. 

She let out a breathy laugh, “No, you're fine. I just wasn’t expecting…that.” 

I chuckled, “Sorry, I’m used to being in various stages of undress on set…I don’t even think about it anymore. I’ll try to keep my clothes on around you.” 

Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip to hold back a smile as she continued to stare at me for a beat, eventually clearing her throat to speak, “Umm…I-I just wanted to come check on you. That PA was kind of an asshole.”  

I waved my hand, “Don’t even worry about it. I’m not.” I’m more bothered by Alec. 

She nodded, “Ok, good…yeah, don’t let that get to you. It’s not worth it.” She shifted her weight and stuck her hands in her back pockets, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” 

Moving to lean against the vanity, I huffed out a small laugh and scratched at the back of my neck as I stared at the ugly gray stained carpet, “Honestly, I’m nervous as fuck…but…I know you won’t let me mess up too badly.”  You make everything ok. 

My eyes flicked up to meet hers. We stared at each other in silence for a moment. I felt like there was a weird electricity in the air between us. I really wanted to reach out and touch her, to hug her, but I knew that wasn’t a good idea. 

Her lips finally broke into a small smile, “Don’t worry Bravo, I’ve got you. I think you’ll do just fine. You’re better than you think.” 

She turned on her heel to move toward the door, “Well, I’m gonna head home…try and relax and get some rest. We have an early start and it’s gonna be a long day.” 

“You mean you’re not going out with Alec?” I blurted out the question without thinking, like it was any of my damn business what they were doing.  

Kat shook her head, “No, he wanted to go out with some other castmates. I’m not about that kind of lifestyle these days. I have to rest…and he knows that.” 

It made me happier than it should have to know she wouldn’t be spending the evening with Alec. I knew that I shouldn’t be having those kinds of thoughts, they were engaged for fucks sake. They were going to spend time together whether I wanted them to or not. I really needed to get my thoughts under control before this became an issue. 

I pursed my lips, nodding as I forced a smile, “I’ll see you in the morning then. Have a good evening.”

She seemed reluctant as she nodded and reached for the doorknob, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

A short time after I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Kat had gone out of her way to come check on me. Most people wouldn’t bother to do that these days, not that I blamed them. I didn’t deserve anyone’s concern after the way I treated people when I was deep in my addiction. I had to make sure I didn’t fuck this up with her. I sank down into the sofa as I unlocked my phone and pulled up Kat’s number. I started typing a text message and hit send before I could second guess myself. 

Dieter: Thank you for checking in with me. I should have said that earlier. I appreciate it more than you know. I don’t have a lot of people in my life that would do that right now.

I watched as the message status changed to ‘read’. The bubbles started bouncing, telling me that she was typing something, then stopped. That happened a few more times before her response came through. 

Kat: You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always check in with you. That’s what friends are for.  

Seeing the word “friend” was sort of a punch in the gut, but I needed that. It helped get my head back where it should be. However, that word also meant that she viewed me as more than just a castmate, which was somewhat comforting. At least I could have a friendship with her. It was more than I had with anyone else at the moment. I decided to push all those thoughts aside and head to bed early before I lost my focus.

My alarm went off at 6 AM the following morning. After a quick shower, I threw on some gym clothes and headed to the local coffee shop. I wasn’t about to try and sustain myself with whatever it was that Craft Services was handing out. I picked up a cup for Kat too, since I now knew how she liked it. I pulled into Television City Studios parking with minutes to spare before we had to be in the ballroom to meet with the band, lighting team, and the cinematographer. We had to make sure the music was right, discuss the lighting scheme, and determine camera blocking for our performance.

As I walked in, I spotted Kat already chatting with the music director and walked over to greet her, handing her coffee over as I stood at her side. They were discussing the tempo of our song to make sure the band hit the mark with it since it had so many variations. As Kat talked, she looped her hand through my arm and gave it a squeeze. I assumed she could sense my anxiety and it did help alleviate it some. As we went through the details, I noticed other cast members starting to file in and sit around the dance floor.  

Once Kat was done going over everything with the band and lighting, Alec came over to offer her some coffee. She gave him a tight smile as she held up her cup, “I’m good, but thanks.” 

His brow furrowed, “Alright, maybe Lana will want it then.” What a fucking dick. 

I felt like he was purposely trying to throw her off her game with that comment. She watched him with narrowed eyes as he walked off toward a small crowd of cast members. I could see her jaw muscles flex before her eyes met mine, “Alright, we’re gonna do a quick run through with the band. There are 18 cameras, so they’ll work on adjusting those as we go through it. If we need to make changes, they’ll let us know. We’ll come back later for the dress rehearsal and run through it a few more times with everything in place.” 

I took a deep breath and nodded. She leaned in to meet my gaze with a small smile, “Hey, we’ve got this. Don’t worry.” 

She reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to our starting mark. As the band began playing, I was already thrown off by how different the music sounded from the track that was provided to us. I think Kat could sense it as she quietly called out some verbal cues at the start. Once we got going, I was on track and made it through the routine with only a few small errors. 

Luckily, there were no last-minute suggested changes to the routine. I’m not sure if I would have retained it if there had been. We had another quick discussion with the producers about the lighting before they cleared us for hair and makeup.  

I suddenly felt like all eyes were on us as we exited the ballroom. It was a little unnerving. Kat leaned in, “Ignore them, they’re just sizing up their competition. There are pros and cons to going first.” 

I chuckled nervously, “And what exactly is a pro for going first?” 

“We don’t have to deal with a frustrated production team. Trust me, they turn into assholes real fast dealing with this bunch.” 

I laughed, “Yeah, that makes sense. How do they decide the order?” 

She smiled, “Well, I got here first this morning…”

I nodded, “So that should be our goal then? Get here first. Got it.” 

The rest of the morning was a blur. Kat and I spent hours in hair and makeup getting poked and prodded at. Luckily this time, we were seated next to each other so we could at least chat through it - mostly focusing on our routine. Once that was finally finished, we headed back to our individual dressing rooms where our costumes were waiting for us. After getting changed, we met back up outside the ballroom to go in for dress rehearsals. Kat looked amazing of course, but I did prefer her more natural look. They had slathered so much makeup and hair gel on the both of us we looked like completely different people. She joked that it was going to take multiple washings to get all the gel out of our hair. I was already not looking forward to going through that process. 

As we walked toward the dance floor for our first run through in costume, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of exposed skin Kat’s gown was showing. I realized for the first time that my hands would be on her bare skin while we were dancing. It was both thrilling and anxiety inducing. I had to quickly shove that thought aside because it threatened to completely derail my focus.

We went through our routine several more times. By the last run through with the music, cameras, and lighting in place, I was feeling more confident about everything. Kat took a minute to give me a small pep talk before she had to run off to change costumes for the group rehearsal. I had to give her credit; she had been very patient with me. She made sure to take time to explain each step of the process to help ease my anxiety. She had been very positive and encouraging as we worked through it all.  

I sat and watched the group rehearsal while I waited for my final fitting time slot with the wardrobe department. The performance was some sort of Latin style dance. Kat did amazingly well. I couldn’t take my eyes off her rhythmic hip movements as she whirled around the floor in time to the beat. I had to chastise myself for looking at her in that way, but it was hard not to. She was electric and commanded the attention of the room above everyone else. 

Stacia stood nearby, watching the performance, just as she had been for all of them so far. However, I was now noticing her occasional glances in my direction. As she was moving toward the other end of the dance floor, she stopped in front of me, “Kat is on fire today. I’m not sure I’ve seen her do this well in a while. I take it that things are going well with the two of you?”

I felt the crease form between my brows as confusion etched my face. What is she actually asking me? “Yeah, I mean…we work well together. She’s a good teacher.”

Stacia narrowed her eyes slightly at my response, then smirked, “Right, you’ve said that.” Fuck. Did I just tip her off on something? I felt like she could see through me as she turned and walked away. Surely, she didn’t think something was going on between Kat and me? I sighed and turned my attention back to the group performance, hoping I didn’t just have a serious fuck up.     

As I watched the third run through for the group, I realized something. Kat had been partnered to dance with Alec, which wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was the vibe between the two of them. It seemed different from the videos that I had watched of their competitions. Her face was expressionless. There was no longer a fiery look behind her eyes as they moved together - almost like there was no connection between them. Maybe she was just focused on getting the choreography correct. They hadn’t practiced the group routine that much after all. That had to be it, right? I couldn’t allow myself to think that it was any other reason. 

After their last run through, Kat walked off the dancefloor, directly over to me to get her water bottle. After taking a long drink, she turned to me, “We need to get to wardrobe for our final fittings. They’ll have our heads if we’re late.”   

I followed behind Kat toward the wardrobe department. She had to pop into her dressing room to grab her other costume on the way. They took us to the back as soon as we walked in. The tailor that we had worked with before, Amy, gave Kat a once over. They both seemed satisfied with her first costume, so Kat went to the changing room to switch to the black gown she would be wearing for our performance. While Kat was changing, Amy turned her attention to me, “Well, your buttons don’t seem to be hanging on for dear life this time, so I think we should be good. Do the pants feel ok? Not too tight?” 

I shook my head, “No everything feels like it fits perfectly. Thank you for making the size adjustments.” Amy seemed proud of herself as she gave me one last look over. Kat returned in her gown minutes later.

“Does everything feel ok on this one Kat?” Amy asked as she stood back to look over the fit of the gown.  

“Yeah, it fits like a glove. Perfect as always. I do have a request though…would it be possible to get a lower heel for both costumes?”

Amy’s brow furrowed, “You know production won’t be happy if you have different shoes for the group performance. Do you not wanna wear regulation heel height?”

Kat sighed, “Fine, I’ll keep the ones for group, but I would like lower ones to go with the gown. If we can try to keep them lower for the rest of the season as much as possible that would be great.”

Amy gave her a sympathetic look, “Are you having foot pain already?”

Kat huffed out a laugh, “No... not yet, but I’m trying really hard to avoid it as much as I can.” 

Amy nodded before disappearing to the back. 

I knew Kat could see the confusion on my face when she glanced up at my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t understand what they were talking about. “Everything ok?”  

She gave me a tight smile, “Did you know that for every inch added to heels, the weight on the pad of your foot increases by 25%. Regulation heel height for ballroom is two and a half inches…for Latin it's three. Heels change your gait and the way you move. I have arthritis in my feet, knees, and hips. The heels and Latin dances really do a number on me because I’m too fucking old to be doing this. So, I’m trying to be proactive before it gets too bad to dance.”   

Suddenly everything made sense. My mouth fell open in shock. Fuck. I had no idea. “That’s why this is your last season?” 

She nodded, “Yep. I’m retiring from competitive dancing.” 

I could tell this wasn’t an easy decision. I could see how much she loved dancing. My heart was aching for her. That would be like me giving up acting. Just the thought of doing that freaked me the fuck out. 

I gave her a devilish smile, “Well, that settles it then. We’re gonna win this fucking competition. You’re going out on top.”

She laughed, grabbing my hand to pull me in for a quick side hug, “Thank you…for trusting me to be your partner.” 

I pulled her in closer for a tight hug, realizing she had multiple meanings behind her words. I could feel my chest tighten as I worked to steady my emotions. It seemed that both of us had demons to battle. As we pulled away, Amy appeared from the back with a different pair of shoes for Kat, “Best I can do is a one and a half inch. We don’t have a lot of lower heels on hand.” 

Kat took the shoes from her, “That’s perfect, I’ll take them. Thank you.”  

After we finished with Amy, we stopped in hair and makeup for quick touch ups. While we were getting touched up, I could tell Kat was starting to get nervous, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly as she looked up at the clock on the wall.

I glanced her way, “You good?” 

She chuckled, “Yeah, I always get a little pre-show jitters. It’ll pass. It’s 3:40…They’ll be bringing the audience in now. It’s almost time.” 

I pursed my lips then laughed, “You can’t be nervous. It’s gonna make me nervous.” 

She reached her hand across the space between the chairs, I grabbed it in mine so she could give it a comforting squeeze as she looked at me intently, speaking in a low voice, “You have no reason to be nervous. You’ve got this. After seeing some of the rehearsals, I honestly think you're one of the best on the cast this season. At least in the top three.”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, “Yeah, whatever. You’re just lubing me up.”

She gave me a toothy grin and laughed, “No, I’m serious.” 

Alec and Lana’s reflection caught my attention in the mirror as they walked into the room. I dropped Kat’s hand and gave her a small smile. Alec approached us from behind, walking around Kat’s chair to lean down and give her a quick kiss, “You look beautiful, baby. Good luck out there. Your dress rehearsal looked great.”

Kat’s brows arched as she chewed on the inside of her cheek, “Thank you. You too.” She gave him a small smile, but it looked forced. Alec moved to sit at the empty station beside Lana, but I could tell he was watching us through the mirror. Kat didn’t say much after that, not until we were finished and walking toward the dressing rooms so she could change back into her group performance costume. 

I waited for her in the hallway - going through the routine in my head as I stood there. It was only a few minutes before Kat joined me with her phone and wired earbuds in hand. As she walked over to me, I noticed she was looking down the hallway with an annoyed expression, I laughed quietly, “What’s wrong?”  

“Anika is looking at you like you’re a fresh piece of meat.” 

“Oh?” I turned in the direction Kat had been looking. Sure enough, there was a short blonde giving me a flirty smile. I gave her something between a grimace and smile back as I turned toward Kat, “Yeah, sorry about her luck. That’s not happening.” 

Kat laughed, “Why? Not your type?”

I shook my head, “No, not anymore. I don’t date party girls. Actually, I’m taking a hiatus from dating at the moment. They recommended that in rehab. At least until I’m sure I have my shit together.”  

Kat arched a brow in my direction, “So you haven’t…dated…anyone since you went to rehab…eight months ago?

I scratched at the back of my neck nervously, “Since before that. It’s been like eleven months since I hooked up with anyone.” 

She was now raising both eyebrows at me, “Hooked up?” 

I grimaced, “Yeah, I didn’t really do the whole relationship thing before. I was kind of a mess and an asshole.”

She chuckled, “I’m sure you broke a lot of hearts.”

I sucked air in through my teeth, “Ehhh…Doubtful. Most of them were just as fucked up as me. They were usually trying to get something outta me…money, fame…the list goes on. It’s part of the reason I have a hard time trusting people.”  

Kat was giving me an intense look now. It was that look that made my stomach do flips and my heart race in my ears. I could feel the electricity crackling between us again. 

“But you trust me?” More than anyone. 

I waited a beat to answer as my eyes roamed over her face, “Yeah...I do.” 

Joe and Stacia chose that moment to walk by, yelling out a 20-minute warning to start time. Stacia gave us a wide smile as they continued past us. I looked back at Kat, now realizing how closely we were standing. I backed away slightly as we gave each other an awkward smile. 

“We should probably head to the staging area.” I nodded and followed closely behind her. 

Before I knew it, the show was starting. I stood in the staging area, watching the group performance. Kat of course did the routine to perfection. Once they were finished, she had to run off to change. Luckily our performance was toward the end of the show, so she didn’t have to rush. I sat watching the show until she reappeared at my side, smiling and breathless. I gave her a lopsided grin, “You did amazing.” Her cheeks flushed at the compliment before she murmured a quiet “Thank you.” 

She busied herself with untangling her corded earbuds. As I watched her, I had to appreciate that she didn’t use the wireless kind. Once she had them untangled, she handed one of them to me. I gave her a confused look, “I like to listen to music to get hyped up before performances. It helps with the nerves.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. This was something I often did while filming to get into character. 

I stuck the bud in my ear just as the familiar opening beats of Lose Yourself started playing. I glanced up at her, “Eminem…really?”   

She gave me a toothy grin, nodding before she started bobbing her head to the music. I laughed, following her lead. She grabbed my hands, shaking my arms and forcing me to move in time with her to the beat as she started quietly mouthing the words. If her goal was to distract me, it was working. By the time the song ended, it was nearly our turn. We stood bouncing on our feet to keep the energy going until it was time for us to walk out onto the dance floor and take our places. 

I could hear the blood pulsing in my ears as we waited for the music to start - both of us breathing heavily in anticipation. The electricity between Kat and I only seemed amplified by the audience's excitement as we walked down the small set of steps to the opening notes, arm in arm. The moment I took her hand for the inside turn, something just clicked between us as we moved in perfect synchronization across the dance floor. Our connection felt differently than it had during rehearsals. The heat of her bare skin caused my fingertips to tingle as they slid down her back and sides. I could sense that Kat felt it too because her eyes were blazing from the energy passing between us. It was almost like we were moving as one. I found the intensity of the moment was strangely intoxicating.

I was in a daze as the performance came to an end. Kat quickly pulled me in for a hug as she jumped up and down while the crowd applauded loudly around us. The performance went by so quickly I didn’t even have time to think. It was more muscle memory than anything. All I could do was let out the breath I had been holding and smile down at her as we walked over to speak with the judges. 

The judges mostly gave compliments, noting that we had pulled off the elegance of the dance, making it seem effortless and magnetizing. One of them even commented on the electricity and connection between us. I guess I wasn’t the only one that felt it. The feedback they gave was that I needed to make sure I was holding my frame all the way through the performance. That didn’t surprise me as Kat was constantly calling me out me on it. Holding the frame absolutely wore my back out, so it was a struggle.

After getting the judges feedback, we moved over to the interview area to answer a few questions about our performance while we waited for the scores to be chosen and verified. Kat grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly as I rambled on about the challenges I had during rehearsal. As I finished answering the question, the host went back to the judges for scoring. They gave us three 8’s and one 7. It was the highest anyone had scored so far. I was in shock as Kat pulled me in for another hug.  

Once we were back in the staging area, I burst out laughing. I couldn’t believe it. Once I finally got it together, I glanced at Kat who was smiling at me. Her eyes were still bright with emotion as I grabbed her, pulling her in for another tight hug, “I cannot believe we just did that…you were so fucking amazing.”

She pulled away, still smiling, “You were too. I told you, you’re good at this. If we keep that up, I think we have a real chance of making it to finals.”    

I nodded, suddenly feeling much more confident about this whole thing. 

We stayed around to see how the last few performances went, letting the adrenaline burn off as we critiqued the competition. There were only two other couples who had scores near ours. Anika and her partner were a few points below us. Alec and Lana were tied with us. I could feel Kat tensing beside me as the judges read off Alec and Lana’s scores. I knew she had to be considering how those two being our biggest competition could affect things going forward. It would undoubtedly create even more tension between her and Alec. There was also the narrative of the show to consider. Kat and I both knew the executive producers would somehow use this to their advantage.  

Next: Week 3

A/N: Whew, we have soooooo much to unpack for this chapter. We had lots of bonding and some mild flirting with Dieter & Kat. You know I want to hear all your thoughts and thots about these two.

We had more shenanigans from Stacia and Joe. What do you think they are up to? Now we have Anika throwing some attention Dieter’s way. Then there is the Alec & Lana nonsense going on…and just Alec’s nonsense in general.

Also…Dieter is totally not being honest with his therapist AND he has a fucking cat now. 🤭

Of course they nailed their first performance. They are going to be a force to be reckoned with. Speaking of their performance, I’ve been watching A LOT of DWTS episodes and videos as I write this fic. So, for each week I’m going to share one or two videos that inspired Dieter & Kat’s performance for the chapter. This chapter’s inspiration is linked below. The first video is more of what I envisioned for their first dance. The second is a sexier foxtrot that would have had Dieter’s head spinning, but he’s totally down for it. Don’t worry, they will get there eventually.

✨More good stuff below the videos.✨

👉In case you missed it, head on over HERE to check out this amazing video that @survivingandenduring was kind enough to put together for Closed Position. It's hot and has all the Dieter & Kat ✨vibes✨. I’m still screaming over it!

👉I have started working on a playlist for Closed Position. I will be adding to it as inspiration strikes. I plan to add the songs used for Dieter & Kat's performances as we go along too.

Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held @gwendibleywrites @pedrostories

*If your name is marked out, it wouldn’t let me tag you. ☹️

If you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know in the comments or shoot me a DM.

Credits: Support/MDNI Dividers: @cafekitsune Disco Divider: @deadbranch

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #dancing dieter #plant dad dieter #closed position series #Youtube #Spotify

[daddy-dins-girl]

Pedro Boys - "Zombie Apocalypse Team"

this might be my favourite one yet... keep reading for headcanons!

related posts: Pedro Boys "During a Fire Emergency" Pedro Boys "Nice Argument. Unfortunately," Pedro Boys "Don't Fuck This Up" Pedro Boys "Dad(dy) Matrix" Pedro Boys & Stabbing Pedro Boys "Lawful/Neutral/Chaotic" Pedro Boys "Feral/Sad/Angelic" Pedro Boys Respond to "I love you." Pedro Boys "Character Tropes" Pedro Boys "Gay/Depressed/Horny on Main" Pedro Boys "Dad/THOT/Bastard" Pedro Boys "bring some Coke to the party" Pedro Boys "I Want a Baby" Pedro Boys "As Babysitters" Pedro Boys "As McDonald's Dads" Pedro Boys "in a horror movie" Pedro Boys "Cinnamon Rolls" Pedro Boys "5 Kids, 3 Chairs" Pedro Boys "Playing Monopoly"

Headcanons under the cut!

Leader - Dave York. Simply put, Dave wouldn’t allow anyone else to be in charge of him, regardless if they’d be better suited for it. Some of the others follow him out of fear, others simply because they'd just prefer not to be in charge.

Brawler - Joel Miller. The muscle. Not so great with his words, much better with his fists.

Weapons Expert - Din Djarin. A bonafide space cowboy, this man has it all. Blasters, rifles, flamethrower, jet pack. Evaporating infected before they even see him coming.

Brains - Marcus Moreno. Truly the Team Leader, but he lets Dave hold the title. He has the mutual respect of everyone, is level headed and the glue that holds the whole group together. He advises Dave, but in a way that makes Dave think they’re his own ideas. Marcus doesn't need to take any credit, he just wants everyone to be safe.

Medic - Frankie "Catfish" Morales. He’s no doctor, but he's had enough basic field medical training in his military days to at least be able to patch everyone up better than anyone else on the team. He’d prefer to be the Vehicle Expert but sadly, modes of transportation in the apocalypse are hard to come by.

Moral Support - Marcus Pike. Always looking at the bright side of the apocalypse. He likes to joke “when life hands you cordyceps, make mushroom tetrazzini”.

Scientist - Ezra. Not exactly Einstein, but he knows what berries and plants are safe and which to avoid during long treks through the wilderness. He’s proven himself useful more so than not. Mostly he keeps Dieter from accidentally un-aliving himself.

Risk taker - Max Phillips. Loud and outspoken, Max's mouth is always getting the group into trouble. Good luck to any infected that tries to turn him though, his ego is so big its like a thick candy shell around the vulnerable parts of his brain.

Stealthy - Oberyn Martell. Forget sniping infected from 100 yards away, this man simply sneaks up behind them and with some flourishing footwork they're on the ground with any sharp object he could get his hands on slicing through the flesh of their throat. He's also stealthy in the way he manages to slip into the others' sleeping bags without them evening realizing at the time that they want him to, but that's a headcanon for another post...

Dumbass - Dieter Bravo. It's not that he wants to die, it's just that he seems to occasionally forget that he can't just eat the fungus as if it came in a Ziplock bag that he use to pay 40 bucks a pop for.

Badass - Javier Peña. This man just continuously takes down infected as if they might actually come to an end. He knows that as quickly as he takes down one colony, four more spring up, but he's stubborn and refuses to stop trying, regardless of how tired he is of it all.

Mascot - Javi Gutierrez. He is babygirl. To be protected at all costs.

Distraction - Jack "Whiskey" Daniels. A real root-tootin, gun-blazin cowboy. Jack never needs to be asked twice to go put on a spectacle in the middle of an open field, gathering all the attention so the rest of the group can flank all sides under brush cover. He seems to have nine lives too, narrowly escaping death more times than any other. And he can handle his own. He argued for the spot of Weapons Expert but ultimately was swayed when he realized being the distraction actually meant being the center of attention.

Stereotype - Pero Tovar. One look at this man screams "if anyone was going to survive a zombie apocalypse, it's him"

Sacrifice - Dio. Look, it was his idea. The weird part was that nobody even asked him to.

First Dead - Eddie. It's just facts. In a long line of Pedro Boys deaths, someone had to be first.

Reply or reblog with your own headcanons, I'd love to hear them :)

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal characters #joel miller #dave york #dieter bravo #din djarin #max phillips #agent whiskey #javier peña #javi gutierrez #ezra prospect #oberyn martell #marcus moreno #marcus pike #frankie morales #the last of us #the mandalorian #pedro boys

[whatsnewalycat]

Psychomanteum / Chapter 10

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

Chapter 10: Snow Day

Chapter Summary: A snowstorm before a shitstorm.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 9.6k+

Content / Warnings: alternating POV, it’s giving hygge, tabloids, uncertainty and insecurity, snow, secrets, legal stuff, alcohol, cannabis, lotta dialogue, Anika, grief, dead parent, music, sign language, shotgunning weed, smut, how to remove ink stains

Notes: Chapter title from "Snow Day" by The Honorary Title. Thank you for being so patient waiting for this chapter!! Let me know what you think 🖤

[ Tag List ] [ AO3 ] [ Spotify Playlist ] [ Series Masterlist ]

From inside a coffee shop, you spot the first languid snowflakes beginning to fall from a dusty, overcast sky. They’re fat and heavy, their density suggesting the city will soon be covered in a thick blanket of it. 

“It’s starting,” you tell Dieter, nodding to the tall, windowed store front. 

He sets his phone down on the wide, leathered plane of his armchair and leans forward, squinting at the window, muttering, “Snowmaggedon,” before he lifts a coffee cup to his lips and takes a sip. 

A barista slams the espresso machine’s portafilter against their stainless steel countertop with a bang bang bang. Whistling sounds from a steamer. The warm, robust aroma of coffee saturates the air. You and Dieter are nestled into a secluded corner of the café, sitting among a variety of green plants with wide, waxy leaves. It almost feels tropical, a stark contrast to the snow globe outside. 

You pick your coffee cup up with both hands, testing its heat against your lips before taking a sip. It’s bitter and hot, and when it washes over your tongue you hum with contentment before setting it back down. Dieter holds his hand out to you in the space between your chairs, and you interlace your fingers with his. 

Snow falls steadily outside the window. You watch it settle on the shoulders of passersby, who all seem to be scowling with disdain, hands buried in their coat pockets, faces angled away from the falling flakes. With the snowstorm beginning, predicted to accumulate 8-12 inches, and no plans for the day, a weighted nostalgia creeps into your bones. 

“When you were a kid did you ever have snow days?” you ask him out of curiosity. 

He leans back in his chair and crosses one leg over the other, shaking his head, “We were always stationed in the south.” 

“Oh,” you frown at the window, then shrug, “They were always my favorite days. My dad was a professor, so he would get to stay home, too. If it wasn’t too cold, he’d play in the snow with me, making forts and snowmen and whatever. When we came inside my mom would make hot chocolate, then we’d sit by the fireplace and stuff. I don’t know. I liked it.” 

His thumb works against the back of your hand and you glance over at him, meeting his softened gaze. He opens his mouth to respond, but then his phone starts ringing. 

The screen reads DARLENE. 

“I’m–I’m sorry, I have to take this,” he tells you, then lets go of your hand and answers the phone with a quick, “Yeah?” before standing up and walking to the back of the coffee shop where it’s quieter. 

You fold your legs up underneath you and pull your phone out from your pocket, then furrow your brow at the series of unread text messages received within the last ten minutes. 

> PARKER:  > OMG LOU

He included a link to a tabloid article. Your heart jumps into your throat as soon as you read the headline. You click it. 

DIETER BRAVO DINES WITH MYSTERY WOMAN AT SWANKY MANHATTAN RESTAURANT

Dieter Bravo was spotted last night at Gabriel Kreuther in NYC, sharing an intimate dinner with a new mystery woman. 

In photos obtained by DIRT, the pair can be seen kissing and huddling close to one another. They appear to be quite enamored, and were reportedly laughing and smiling throughout the meal. 

Although the identity of this woman is unclear, she was hand in hand with Bravo as they left the restaurant. 

The 46-year old actor, whose divorce to Anika Bravo was only recently finalized, has been under scrutiny for his promiscuity and alleged drug use. Is this mystery woman a flavor of the week, or is this something more serious? 

You blink at the article for a moment, trying to sort the hundreds of thoughts that start ping-ponging around your brain. There’s too much information. It’s as if you’ve been downgraded to dial-up internet, and the modem in your head is squealing and buzzing as you process the incoming data. 

The lining of your throat seems to be closing in around your windpipe. You respond to Parker. 

< ME: < What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck 

There are messages from more casual friends, each twisting your stomach tighter than the last. 

> KOURTNEY:  > Is this you?????

> RACHEL: > wtf are you dating dieter bravo?? 

And then you see one from Ethan’s son. 

> BEN:  > Wow, already? 

A hairline fracture rips across your heart. You click the text response box and stare at the blinking blue line. Your ears feel hot. There’s static expanding in your chest and your mind is completely frozen. 

From what seems like far away, you hear Dieter call your name. You shake yourself out of your trance and look up at him. Panic must be written all over your face, because his brow creases and his shoulders slump, “Did you see?” 

You swallow hard and give him a tight nod, croaking out, “Yeah.”

“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” he coos, then closes the distance between you, crouching down in front of the armchair to level his gaze with yours, “It’s not a big deal, they’re just fucking vultures. They’ll move onto the next thing before you know it.” 

You feel your eyes go vacant. You’re looking at him but staring at something miles away. Your teeth catch on the smooth inside of your cheek and pulse away at the tender flesh. 

“Lua,” he calls softly, then plucks the phone from your shaky grip and sets it down on the armrest. His hands wrap around yours and he stares you dead in your soul, pulling you back to back to your body, “I promise it will be alright.” 

Your head shakes back and forth on its own accord, “You don’t understand–” 

“No, you don’t understand,” he tells you firmly, then pulls your knuckles to his lips and kisses them, those dark eyes so fucking warm and comforting, “They can say whatever they want, I don’t give a shit. I am–” he falters here, words caught in his throat. It makes your heart start sprinting. But he recovers, “I’m with you, ok?” 

You feel your eyes tingling with the threat of tears, so you nod and take a deep breath, “Ok.” 

But, really, you can’t be sure. Because he doesn’t know everything the press could find out about you. This reassurance, this promise, is not an informed decision. 

What happens when a tabloid looks into your past? Would it destroy his already tarnished reputation? 

And what happens if you tell him now? Would he have to cut ties with you before the news broke? 

The idea of losing him feels like dying. 

Worse, even. 

There would be no tunnel of light to travel down, no pilgrimage to the sea of love, no overwhelming sense of peace and belonging. Only pain. 

Dieter presses a kiss against one hand, then the other. Your heart flutters and you muster a watery smile. 

“Wanna go home?” he asks. 

Your eyes flick up to the window. A layer of white already sticks to most every surface in sight. 

You nod, “Yeah.” 

It’s noon by the time the two of you cross the threshold into your apartment. 

Dieter can tell something is wrong. The whole walk here you were solemn and distant. 

After you’re both stripped of your dampened outerwear, you turn on the gas fireplace and curl up into a ball on your purple velveteen couch. Dieter sits down next to you, but you don’t nuzzle into him like you normally do. 

His skin is buzzing and tight. He watches your face, noting your pinched brow and far-away eyes. Your head resting on your knees, body all hunched up and guarded from attack. 

On its own accord, his knee starts bouncing and he murmurs, “Baby.”

Your eyes flick to his, eyebrows raising in question, “Hmm?”

“What’s on your mind?” 

The space between his body and yours feels like miles. He scoots closer and rests his palm between your shoulder blades. Works his thumb against your spine. Your rib cage expands beneath his touch, then releases a shaky breath. 

You’re holding back. Stuck in your head. It’s so obvious. 

“You can talk to me about it, love,” he assures you.

Your eyes get all red and watery. You drop your face between your knees just as it starts to crumble, “I don’t wanna lose you.” 

The words claw at his heart. He pulls you closer, wrapping his arm around your tensed up shoulders, but you don’t budge. 

“Why would you lose me?” he asks. 

And he wishes you would just look at him. Let yourself unfold so he can see you. 

When you don’t respond, he continues, “Lua, you’re not gonna lose me,” he swears, “Whatever it is, we can work through it.”

“You don’t know that, Dee,” you choke out, “You can’t say that if you don’t know.” 

He blinks and scoffs, “No, I guess I can’t. So why don’t you tell me and we can find out?”

Your shoulders tremble with sobs.

It feels like an eternity before your crying slows and you look at him. 

When you do, your face is all flushed and wet with tears, and you choke out, “In 2018, I was busted with a fuck load of product. It was a set up. They were trying to arrest Ethan. But I—I just happened to be the one— ”

Dieter furrows his brow and studies your face. Your mouth hangs open, and he can practically see the words queued up at the back of your throat. He gives you an encouraging squeeze. You release your breath. 

“I’m a convicted felon,” you whisper. 

His head jerks back, then he shakes his head, “What?” 

“Felony drug trafficking charges,” you drop your gaze and swallow hard, “And—and I know that you’re already in the spotlight because of drug use, and if the media finds out—”

A sob rips through your chest. His heart plummets to the floor. 

“Dee, I don’t wanna ruin everything for you,” you squeak, body tensing as your eyes well up again, “I’m—I’m not a good person. I’m a fucking drug dealer, for fuck’s sake. Your association to me,” you shake your head back and forth frantically, “It—it could destroy your fucking career.” 

It starts to dawn on him that you might be right. A clusterfuck of emotions tightens his guts into a knot, making him nauseated. And you’re sitting there bawling and he just wants to tell you that it’s ok, it’ll be ok, it doesn’t matter, but he doesn’t know if that’s true or not, and he can’t bring himself to lie to you. 

“Listen,” he turns his whole body to face you, cupping your cheeks, thumbs moving like windshield wipers against your tears, “We’re gonna figure it out. Let me call Darlene, see what she says. Ok?” 

“Ok,” you croak. 

He presses a kiss into your forehead, letting his lips linger against the creases, closing his eyes to savor the moment. Then he gets to his feet and moves into your bedroom, pulling his phone out of his pocket, closing the door behind him. 

“Can we do anything?” he asks Darlene, running his fingers through his hair as he paces the floor of your bedroom. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Dieter. What do you expect me to do? Expunge her criminal record?” Darlene jeers. 

“Is… is that something you can do?” he stops pacing and frowns. 

“No!” she scoffs, “Honestly, the best thing for you to do would be to drop this relationship—”

“Not an option,” he asserts, eyes flicking to the closed door. 

“Why not?”

“Because I—“ his heart leaps into his throat, then he shakes his head and starts to pace again, dropping his voice to a murmur, “I don’t know, I can’t.” 

The phone line is silent for a moment, then you hear an exasperated sigh, “Is this really worth the mess that could come out from this?”

“Yes,” he answers honestly. 

“You don’t know that—”

“I do, Darlene. It’s non-negotiable,” he counters, sure and unflinching. 

Darlene mutters something under her breath, then concedes, “Give me thirty seconds to think.” 

Dieter strides over to the window and slides the curtain back to peak outside. Snowflakes pour from the low, gray ceiling of clouds. They’re relentless, covering the city in white. 

“I want both of you on the next flight to LA,” Darlene tells him then, “We’re going to get ahead of this. We’ll coach her, get the two of you in an interview or two, make a statement, show the public that she’s reformed.” 

Reformed. The term makes his lip curl in disdain. 

“I don’t think any flights will go out ‘til tomorrow, we’re in the middle of a goddamn blizzard out here,” Dieter murmurs, then turns away from the window and starts pacing again. 

“Fine, whatever, just—be honest with me Dieter, is she still selling drugs?”

“No,” he lies without hesitation, “She’s a pastry chef.” 

“Ok,” a sigh of relief crackles over the phone line, “Ok, good, we might be able to make this work. I’ll let Lincoln and Mark know what’s going on.” 

You’re cleaning the empty kitchen sink when Dieter emerges from your bedroom. 

You don’t look up at him, just furrow your brow at a stubborn spot of glued-on caramel and scrub your steel wool pad against it vigorously. His hands find your waist, and you jump at the unexpected contact, releasing a nervous chuckle, “Oh, hi.” 

He folds his arms around your belly and nuzzles into the crease of your neck, “Hi.”

Your muscles are all rigid and live-wired. You drop the steel wool and press your yellow rubber-gloved hands against the lip of the sink to brace yourself. 

“We have a plan,” he rumbles, and starts swaying back and forth gently, as if to soothe you, “You ready to hear it?”

No.

“Yes,” you croak. Your fingers grip the sink now as you try to steady your shaking hands. 

“We’re going to LA as soon as the storm passes.” 

A buzz starts ringing in your ears. Your heart leaps from your chest. 

“Wh—what?” you turn around, ripping yourself from his grasp, and search his face, “Why?” 

Dieter takes a step back and runs a hand through his messy hair, “We’re going to do an interview, some press stuff, to show that you’re not…”

“A criminal?” you finish, then scoff and shake your head, “But I am, Dee—”

“They don’t know that. They don’t have to know that. You’re a pastry chef, that’s all they need to know,” he tells you, then takes a step forward. He places his hands on your hips and meets your eyes with a pleading gaze, “If we tell them about your past, if we’re open about it, there’ll be nothing for them to gawk over. They’ll get bored and move on.” 

Your jaw clenches and you shake your head, “Are you sure?” 

“Positive,” he responds. His thumbs work against the waistband of your jeans. 

Your throat knots up in protest when you think about this plan. The pending chaos. The shitstorm that will ensue after this snowstorm passes. All the damage it could cause. 

“You don’t… you don’t have to do this for me. I—” a sob holds your words hostage. An invisible hand reaches into your ribcage and squeezes your heart into pulp. You drop your face into your yellow rubber gloves. A wave of agony overtakes you. 

Dieter wraps his arms around you and pulls you against his chest. You return the embrace and bury your sobs into his sweater. He pets your hair and sways back and forth as he coos, “It’s ok, baby. It’s ok.” 

“I’m not worth it, Dee,” you choke out, “You–you can tell them I’m nothing, that this is nothing, just save yourself, whatever you need to do. Just—just forget about me. I understand if that’s what you need to do—”

“Louella,” he pulls you back by your shoulders and meets your gaze, “Can you do something for me, love?”

You sniffle and stare back at him. 

“Never fucking say that to me again,” he rasps. His eyes are obsidian, burning a hole through you. The whites start to tinge red and tears pool at the corners when he tells you, “Unless you really think that it—that this—isn’t worth the trouble.”

All the air evacuates your body. Your face crumbles. So does his. 

“Is that what you think?” he breathes. The tears spill over onto his cheeks. 

“No, of course not, Dee,” you squeak, “I just—I don’t want you to throw your life away—”

“I’m not. I know I’m not,” he shakes his head and clenches his jaw, tilting his head at the ceiling, then he swings his gaze back to yours, “Please—please, Louella. Trust my judgment.” 

He cups your cheeks and searches your face. Your stomach flips upside down like you’re falling off a skyscraper. 

You swallow hard and nod, “Ok.”

Dieter releases his breath. His features start to soften and he sniffles. 

“Ok,” you nod again and clear your throat, brushing your hand along his jawline, “Ok. Are you sure?” 

“Positive,” he murmurs, pressing his forehead against yours. After a beat, he tacks on, “We’re gonna have to work on your lying, though.” 

This makes you laugh, and it brings a smile to his face. 

“I’m gonna have to figure out what to do with my orders,” you sigh, then mutter your anxious thoughts out loud to yourself, “Maybe Parker will help with the ones being picked up tomorrow. I’ll have to cancel the others. Fuck.”

Your teeth catch your lip and you worry away at it as you think about your measly bank account and your upcoming rent payment. 

“What?” he asks.

You shake your head, then meet his eyes. They dim and his shoulders slump. Your stomach flips at his visible disappointment in your lack of transparency, so you stammer, “Oh–no, no, I was–um, trying to figure out if I can pay my bills.”

“Let me take care of your bills.” 

You groan in protest, “Dee—”

“Just for this month. It’s the least I can do,” his gaze goes all soft and pleading. Then he sticks his bottom lip out in a pout. It’s an obvious ploy but it tugs at your heartstrings all the same. 

You groan and roll your eyes, “Fine,” then wrap your arms around his middle and pull him into a hug, squeezing him tight as you murmur into his sweater, “Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it,” he mumbles against your hair. You feel his lips curl into a smile, “Thanks for letting me be your sugar daddy.” 

“Oh my god, stop it,” you laugh, but nuzzle in closer to him and sigh, “I need a fucking drink.”

The ceiling seems to breathe in time with The Velvet Underground’s I’ll Be Your Mirror. Your brain feels soggy and numb around the edges, your limbs heavy and loose. This afternoon’s steady stream of alcohol starts to put your nerves at ease, and for the first time all day, you’re not thinking about what’s going to happen tomorrow. 

Granted, your thoughts are tangentially related, but at least your mind is capable of wandering now. 

“How drunk are you?” you inquire as Dieter re-enters the living room, holding a tumbler of peppermint schnapps in each hand. 

He frowns at the empty couch, then swivels his head loosely to where you’re now sprawled across the carpet and laughs, “Why are you on the floor?”

“Why… are you… not on the floor?” you counter, shooting finger guns at him. 

“Excellent point,” he grins, then settles on the ground, groaning as his back reclines against the couch. He sets one glass down on the carpet next to him and raises the other to his lips, taking a big swallow. 

“Dee,” you giggle. 

“Hmm?” he raises his eyebrows and meets your gaze. 

“How drunk are you?” you repeat your question. 

He scrunches his face up in contemplation, then shrugs, “Yes.” 

“Are you ready to tell me all your secrets?” you ask with a grin. 

“My secrets? What secrets?” he scoffs, “You’re the one with secrets.” 

“Show me yours I’ll show you mine,” you roll on your side and prop your head up on your palm. 

“I can’t tell you all my secrets,” he stops to take a sip of his drink, then says, “You can have one. For now.” 

“Only one?!” you holler back in indignation, “That’s not fair.” 

“I can’t just… unload all my secrets on you at one time,” he explains, flopping his head into a tilt as he jokes, “Gotta sprinkle them in, ya know?” 

The alcohol simmering in your veins buoys your confidence and curiosity. 

“Tell me about Anika,” you say quietly, then watch his whole demeanor shift. 

His spine straightens. Syrupy molasses eyes harden. He searches your face, “What about Anika?” 

You’ve always wanted to ask him, but haven’t had the guts to do it. His response is exactly why you’ve abstained from digging into the topic. When her name comes up, he bristles. Becomes serious and guarded. It’s so unlike him. 

While you could read any tabloid magazine and get details on the subject from a third party, you haven’t, because you want him to tell you. Willingly. But tomorrow you’re going to his house… where he lived… with her. And you know nothing about their relationship. 

“Why didn’t it work?” you inquire.

He releases a deep breath and shakes his head, averting his gaze to the ceiling, “So many reasons.” 

“Like what?” you crawl across the carpet on your hands and knees, grabbing your drink and taking a long pull before settling next to him. The peppermint burn makes you grimace. 

“It was just…” he shrugs, “Fucked. I dunno,” his head rolls on his shoulders to meet your eyes, “Do you know how we met?” 

You shake your head. 

“I was on the set of this movie, and she worked at the hotel where we were filming. They kept us there for months, like fucking hostages, it was a total shitshow,” he stops and chuckles, then looks down at the glass in his lap, “Anyway. I was trying to find someone to hook up with, and she agreed, but only if I’d marry her.” 

“Dieter, no–” you gasp, eyes widening, “Oh my god, you did not marry her just to fuck her, did you?” 

His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth and raises his eyebrows, “Well–“

“Shut up, oh my god!” you smack his shoulder and he starts laughing, then takes a sip of his drink. 

The cheeky grin he’s holding falls into something more somber, and he tells you, “No, really, it was… more than that. She was persistent. She wanted to know me. Really know me. And, you know, ever since my career took off, nobody wanted anything like that with me. Something real, you know? Just a bunch of fucking sycophants. So, I don’t know, I was skeptical of her.” 

“I think you had a right to be,” you murmur, searching his profile. 

He glances over at you and flashes a wry smile, then faces forward again, “She was the one to revive me when I OD’d. Saved my fucking life. After we escaped, we went to meet her dad and I, uhhh… I asked for his permission to marry her,” he chuckles and shakes his head, “He refused. But I was persistent, just like she was with me. We followed his rules while we stayed with him, sleeping in separate rooms, stayed sober, went to fucking church. I fought for his approval. And when he gave it to me, we got hitched immediately.” 

“Why did you need to do all this to fuck her? Was she a virgin or something?” you tilt your head and furrow your brow, then backtrack, “Sorry–that’s not my business, sorry.” 

“She was, yeah,” he raises the glass to his lips and swallows a hefty gulp. 

“How old was she?” 

“Twenty-six,” he tells you without looking at you. 

You nod and absorb this information. The jealousy machine roars inside your head. It draws comparisons between you and Anika. So young, so virtuous, so beautiful. Is this the kind of woman Dieter falls in love with? Someone so utterly unlike you? 

A sadistic yearning to know more twists under your skin. 

“What was your wedding like?” you ask now, resting your head on his shoulder as you take a sip of the liquid toothpaste.

“It was gorgeous. At this Venetian hotel, in their gardens. It was just our immediate families, you know, real intimate. Annie wore flowers in her hair and she was… so fucking beautiful,” he breathes, staring at the opposite wall like it’s a portal into the past. Like he’s still standing at the altar watching her walk down the aisle towards him, heart bursting with love and commitment. 

Your skin twists. Chest feels hollow. But you stay quiet and let him marinate in the nostalgia. He shakes his head, takes another drink, and continues in a low voice. 

“The first month was great. I took time off from work and we just…” Dieter trails off then, glancing over at you, as if to save you from the implication. 

“Fucked?” you laugh.

He snorts and nods, “Yeah. Honeymoon period, you know.” 

You hum knowingly and take a few sips from your glass, trying to drown the image. 

“When I started booking gigs again, I was away from home for weeks at a time. She fucking hated it. Whenever I came home, we would fight about how often I was there. She was… resentful. Withholding. I’d try to buy her things and apologize, spend all my time trying to win back her affection. Then when it worked, I would have to leave again, and it would start over. 

“She took it so personally. Thought I did it on purpose so I wouldn’t have to be around her,” his jaw gnashes back and forth as he stares into the distance, “I stopped arguing with her about it. It seemed pointless having the same conversation over and over. We grew so far apart, it was like… a canyon between us. It seemed impossible to cross.” 

He opens his mouth and takes a breath like he’s going to say more, but then he meets your eyes and closes it. Looks away and takes a drink. 

“Do you think there could have been a compromise? A way for you to be around more?” you ask. 

His shoulders slump and his eyebrows draw together, “I don’t know. Maybe. But I never tried.” 

You hum and nod, bringing your glass to your lips, then tip up until its contents empty down your throat. The burn tightens your face into a wince. 

“Want another?” Dieter asks. 

A snowplow roars by and scrapes the street outside. Dieter imagines they’re pushing the thick, relentless snow into long, white piles that look like lines of blow on the sidewalk. A deep yearning tugs inside him when he pictures it. 

The alcohol is gone. The sun has set. From his experience, this is coke’s time to shine. 

He wonders what you would be like all coked out, expecting the thought to be amusing. 

But instead, it makes his stomach churn. 

Dieter looks down at you where you lay, wedged between his side and the back of the couch. Your ear shares a wall with the gentle thump-thump of his heart, your fingertips dancing across the slice of his soft belly peeking out between his sweater and pajama pants. 

The syrupy thick trance of booze holds you both in its grasp, veins buzzing, limbs heavy. 

The album Tea for the Tillerman is currently spinning on your record player in the corner. On The Road To Find Out transitions into Father and Son. You clear your throat and wiggle a little, and he awaits the words gathering at the base of your tongue. 

“This was my dad’s favorite album,” you murmur, then chuckle, “There was one night when I was a teenager, where he got super drunk, which he, like… never ever did. He woke me up and made me listen to it with him.” 

Dieter furrows his brow and nods in acknowledgment. He puts his thumb to work against the blackwork pear tattoo on your bicep. 

“He said it would be our secret and we can’t tell my mom,” you snort. A deep, blue sigh expands your ribcage and you exhale it across his chest, peppermint breath burning his nostrils when it wafts into his face, “When this song came on, he told me I needed to listen to it, because it’s everything he ever wanted me to know.” 

Dieter’s fingers find your hair, sliding between strands, petting you affectionately as you both listen. The air in your drafty apartment is chilled by the dropping outside temperature, but your body heat warms his body to perfection. 

“When did he die?” he questions softly. 

“Two weeks later,” you tell him, “It was this really aggressive brain cancer. Inoperable. A death sentence, basically. He knew for months, but they didn’t tell me about it until he was admitted to hospice. Didn’t want me to worry.” 

His throat tightens in a knot. He doesn’t say anything. Just keeps stroking your hair, silently urging you to continue. 

“Then it was just me and my mom,” you sigh, blinking your eyes open to look up at him, “And—You don’t know my mom yet, so you don’t understand how much of a shitshow that was, but trust me, it was not fucking fun.” 

You don’t know my mom yet. 

Yet. 

His heart flutters. This might be the first time you’ve acknowledged the possibility of this concrete stepping stone in your relationship: meeting the parents. The realization twists in his belly and numbs his fingers. 

“Anyway,” you mutter, thrumming your fingertips against his happy trail, “I just wish he could have been around longer, you know? He was my best friend.” 

“That’s hard,” he acknowledges, voice raspy with secondhand heartache for your loss. Tragedy. His mind starts connecting dots to Ethan. The sudden and traitorous death of another man in your life. 

He pulls you closer, squeezing his arm around your shoulders as he presses a kiss into the crown of your head. You crane your neck up to meet his eyes, a wistful smile playing on your lips. His brow creases as he studies your face, then stammers out, “I—I feel like I should say something else, but nothing feels right.” 

You frown, “I didn’t tell you because I want you to say anything. I told you because I trust you.” 

A hum sounds from Dieter’s throat as his stomach flips upside down. It dawns on him that you’re placing your heart in his hands. His wrists strain under its weight. How can something be so heavy, but so fragile at the same time? 

Guilt tightens the cords of his neck like he’s tuning a guitar. He regrets not telling you the whole truth about Anika. That it wasn’t just the chasm that had grown between them to end the relationship. 

“Hey,” you coo, pulling him from the depths of his thoughts. He raises his eyebrows in question. Your eyes search his and you grin, “Do you wanna go play in the snow?” 

You’re a maniac. 

He means that as a compliment, honestly, Lua, he really does. 

But if you throw one more goddamn snowball at him he’s going to lose his mind. 

Now you made yourself fall backwards into a foot of fresh, sticky snow, and you’re trying to get him to join you on the frozen ground. 

Fucking maniac.

“Come on!” you call to him, “It’s fun!” 

“It’s fucking cold is what it is,” he retorts, but trudges over to you anyway, Ethan’s boots sinking up to the collar with every crunchy step. The booze that saturated his veins earlier in the day is fading to a whisper, and he wishes he drank more, if only to make him feel warmer. 

When he reaches you, chest heaving from exertion, white puffs of breath steam from his lips, his head swings down to observe you. The ridge of snow outlining your body reminds him of the flimsy white plastic packaging that holds action figures in place within their boxes. 

You’re fully bundled up. Boots, snow pants, the whole nine yards. Both of you are. The only swath of your skin exposed to the frosty air is a square of your face peeking out from beneath the wool cap pulled down over your eyebrows and the green scarf billowing out of your jacket. 

“Do it, Dee!” you urge. 

He sighs and turns around, then shifts his weight backwards onto his heels until he tips over and lands in the soft snow with a muted thunk. Both of you start giggling and Dieter marvels at the sense of calm that sinks down into his bones, “Wow.” 

Barren black tree branches sway gently with the icy breeze at the edge of his vision, all shimmering with frost and highlighted with snow. The low clouds are glowing gold from streetlights and swollen with snowflakes that plummet to the ground, landing on your bodies with barely detectable thwaps. 

Snow insulates the air, and the only audible sign of life he can detect is your breathing. Like you’re the only two people on the planet right now. It lulls him into a sense of warmth and safety. 

“Who do you dream of becoming?” you ask. 

He frowns, “What, you mean like… Batman?” 

You start cackling at this. The sound tingles in his chest and makes him chuckle. 

“No! I mean like… when you imagine the future, what kind of person do you hope you’ll be?” 

“Like I said, Batman,” he deadpans, then starts giggling when you reach over and smack his arm playfully, “Ok, seriously, let me think. It’s been a while since someone’s asked me that.” 

“I guess you’re already living the dream, huh?” you murmur, “Rich and famous.”

The innocuous question turns his bones to lead. A tarpit opens up under his body and he starts to sink. He shakes his head and confesses, “It doesn’t feel like it most of the time.” 

“How so?”

Dieter hums as he contemplates how to answer this. 

“I know it sounds whiny, but… it’s so lonely. And don’t get me wrong, I love acting, I love the arts, it just… doesn’t feel like that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Creating art, I mean,” he sighs, “I don’t know when it stopped being about creation and started being about… well, feeding my ego, I guess. Staying relevant.” 

You hum and reach over, grabbing his gloved hand with yours, “So, tell me what Dieter’s heart wants him to be.” 

Your grip seems to pull him out of the darkness of the tarpit. A lifeline. He closes his eyes and lets his mind wander into his heart to see what’s there. 

He wants to be true to himself. Happy. Free. Safe. Loved. 

“I want to be… exactly like this.”

Snow crunches around your head as you turn towards him, but you wait for him to continue.

“Lua, I—I don’t know, it’s like… I feel the most like myself when I’m with you, you know?” Dieter breathes, shaking his head up at the glowing sky, “Like when I’m with you I’m at home. It’s crazy, what even is that?” 

It’s silent for a moment before you whisper, “It’s love, Dee.” 

“Holy shit,” Dieter bolts upright and looks down at you, and you’re looking up at him with that big, beautiful smile that takes up your whole face, and he beams, “Holy shit, you’re right. I fucking love you.” 

You start to giggle and bring your gloved hand to cover your face, “I love you, too.” 

“Oh my god,” he laughs and smiles, then scoops you out of the snow and squeezes you as tight as he can. You squeal and throw your arms around his neck, using it as leverage to climb into his lap and wrap your legs around his waist. 

The snow gear makes every movement cumbersome and awkward, but your lips manage to find his, and you barrage him with gleeful kisses that quickly escalate in intensity. 

Heated vapor clouds of breath warm your faces. He rolls his tongue against yours and groans at how perfectly soft it is. 

Suddenly the snow gear feels like a prison. 

“Should we go inside?” you huff, grazing your nose against his. He nods and pulls you in for one more lingering kiss. 

As the two of you follow the path of your footsteps, Dieter looks back at the imprints your bodies left in the snow. The place where your hands met. And he knows now, like he’s always suspected, that he’ll never be the same. 

Dieter compiles all the blankets and pillows in your apartment on the living room floor in front of the gas fireplace while you stand at the stove, stirring hot chocolate ingredients together in a saucepan over a low flame. 

“Should I put on some music? Set the mood?” he asks while flipping through your collection of records. 

“Dieter Bravo, are you trying to seduce me?” you call back to him with a cheeky grin. 

He giggles, then says, “Oh, yeah, have I not done that yet?” 

Wouldn’t It Be Nice by The Beach Boys starts projecting across the apartment. It warms your skin like sunshine. 

Dieter rounds the corner, so you turn to face him, watching in admiration at the way he sways his body to the beat and sings along with the lyrics. A smile stretches across your face when he points to you and belts out, “I wish that every kiss was NEEEEEVER ENDING—”

“Beautiful, Dee,” you laugh, covering your face as he sambas into the kitchen, then wraps his arms around you and nuzzles into the crook of your neck. 

“Oh wow you’re making some serious hot chocolate,” he observes from over your shoulder. 

“What, do you think I have packets of powdered hot chocolate?” you snort and raise an eyebrow, “You should better.” 

He chuckles at his, then hints, “It looks fucking delicious.” 

“It’s almost done,” you say, then pull back to cup his cheeks in your palms, meeting his brown eyes, “Do you wanna smoke?” 

“Way ahead of you,” he plucks a joint out from behind his ear and plugs it between his lips, then steps back and starts patting his pockets to find a lighter. 

“Wait, wait—let me finish this,” you hold up your index finger and spin around, stirring the steaming pot of hot chocolate. 

Dieter rifles around the kitchen and finds two mugs, then sets them on the stove. He leans back against the counter and crosses his arms, “Our flight out is at 9 tomorrow morning, by the way.” 

Your pulse jumps, and you breathe, “Ok.”

He reaches out to grab your free hand. His thumb works against your skin and you bring your eyes to meet his when he murmurs, “It’s gonna be fine, love. Piece of cake.” 

“For you, maybe,” you mutter, then cast your gaze down to the fully-incorporated hot chocolate. You flip the burner off and sigh, “I’m so nervous. What if I say something stupid, or wrong or—or do something to embarrass you—”

“Louella,” he cuts you off, and your eyes flick to his. They’re gooey and warm. A tingle of affection starts across your chest. He tells you, “I will be there with you every step of the way. We’re gonna get through this together, ok? I promise.” 

“Ok,” you nod, then take a deep breath and squeeze his hand, “Ok. Just—you know, so you know, I’m probably gonna need you to tell me that like every ten minutes.” 

“Should we come up with a secret signal?” he asks. 

This brings a smile to your face, and you nod, “Like what?” 

After thinking on this a moment, Dieter releases you and balls his hands into fists, pressing them together with his thumbs pointing towards the ceiling, then moves them in a circle. 

You chuckle and copy the action, “That?” 

“Yeah,” he grins and nods, “It means ‘together.’” 

Your smile grows impossibly wide as you repeat the sign, then you ask, “Ok now is there one for ‘get me the fuck out of here’?”

He snorts and lays one hand flat, palm facing the ceiling, his other hand into a lazy thumbs up on top of the outstretched palm, like it’s some kind of a plate, and raises both hands. 

You mirror the sign a few times. 

“Help,” he explains, letting his hands fall to his sides. 

You reach out and grab them with a smile, pulling him closer, “Do you know sign language?”

He frowns and shrugs, “I know enough to get by.” 

“Is there a reason you learned it or was it, like, just because?” you tilt your head in curiosity. 

“Well,” he scrunches his nose up and shifts his weight to one leg, “I had a fan approach me once, they were deaf, and I didn’t understand the signs so they had to write everything out on this little pad of paper. It seemed like it was a pain in the ass for them,” he shrugs again, “I figured I should learn it after that. Communicate better, you know.”

Your heart swells so wide it makes your chest ache, and you smile, “That’s so sweet.” 

“Speaking of sweet,” he diverts, eyes flicking to the steaming pot on the stove, “Can I have some?” 

You nestle into Dieter’s handcrafted love nest on your living room floor. Heat from the fireplace licks your skin. Hot chocolate settles in your belly. The plush blankets and pillows hug your body. It’s like you’re sinking down into a cloud.

Dieter sparks the joint and tosses the lighter aside, then stretches out beside you, placing a glass ashtray on his belly. The tip of the joint blazes orange as he takes a few sharp inhales. You curl up at his side, nuzzling into his shoulder. He hands the joint to you, then wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer, hand settling at your waist. 

When he exhales, he lets the smoke creep out his mouth slow and thick, inhaling it back through his nose for a moment before blowing it at the ceiling. You watch with amusement as you take a long drag. The smoke blooms in your lungs, and a river of relaxation trickles out from your chest. It creeps up into your head and lifts you like helium. 

You pass it back to him and exhale, asking, “Do you remember when we tripped at Katie’s apartment with Parker? When we became friends?” 

Dieter takes two hits, then rolls the joint against the ashtray, sloughing spent ash off the cherry before handing it back, “Obviously I do.” 

His words form around the smoke as he exhales, coming out muffled and scratchy. 

“Wasn’t that weird? That we ended up meeting like that?” you take a puff off the joint and amend your question, “I mean, like I know we met before, but not like that, you know?” 

“Yeah,” he breathes, his fingers gripping into your side. A lazy, glowing tingle branches out from the touch. 

You pass the joint to him and close your eyes to revel in its wake, taking a deep, peaceful breath as you murmur, “I’m so glad it happened like that.” 

He takes a hit, then gives you a squeeze for attention. Your eyes flutter open to meet his, then they drop to the fountain of smoke curling out between his lips. His eyebrow quirks and your face lights up when you understand. 

You prop yourself up and lean in close, brushing your lips against his, soaking up the sweet shimmer of pleasure that trickles down your spine. His hand slides up your body, fingers slipping into your hair, and he pulls you in closer. Your mouth seals to his, and he exhales, dilating your lungs with secondhand smoke. 

When you pull back, you blow the smoke aside. His gaze lingers on your face and heats your skin. His fingers twitch and you hum in approval, then he closes his fist in your hair. 

A gasp escapes you. His throat rumbles. Eyes darken. He raises the joint to your mouth and you take a hit, then bring your lips to his and blow. His chest expands under the force. He tilts his head away and exhales at the ceiling. 

Neither of you break eye contact when his hold on your hair tightens.

The strands pull taut against your scalp. Your mouth gapes open in a moan. 

He grits his teeth, inhaling with a hiss, hips jerking upward. The feral noise wriggles into your ears and twists around inside you, dousing your insides with gasoline. When you lick your lips, his gaze flicks to your mouth, and he rumbles, “Stick out your tongue.”

You follow his instruction, stretching your tongue out flat against your chin, batting your eyelashes. He pulls you close to lick the stretched out muscle. His velvet tongue drags along yours, up into the wet open cavern, lapping away at the smooth insides of your cheeks, the ridges on the roof of your mouth, every soft, electric tissue he can reach. As he carries out this laborious worship, moans echo against the backs of your throats with increasing severity. 

Your body writhes with gooey, heated desire, but his grip on your head keeps it in place, the sting of your hair being pulled only fueling your ache. 

When his hips thrust up into nothing again, you can’t take it any more. You need them to be thrusting into you right fucking now. You tug at his t-shirt and he pulls back to meet your eyes, face all glistening and wet from your combined spit. He recognizes the desire written across your features and pants, “Clothes.”

Dieter lets go of your hair and sits up, sending the ashtray tumbling onto the blanket. He mumbles, “Fuck,” and he flips it right side up, then extinguishes the joint’s dwindling orange tip  against the glass. 

While you pull your shirt off, he’s trying to brush black ash off the blanket, but ends up just smearing it around, and you tell him, “It’s fine, take care of it later.”

He turns to respond, then realizes you’re topless. His gaze drops to your tits and a wide smile spreads across his face, “Amazing.”

“Dee,” you chuckle, flopping backwards to wriggle your pants off, “Focus!”

He releases a low, dopey murmur of laughter. A dead giveaway he’s stoned. 

“In my defense,” he tugs his shirt off and tosses it to the side, then pulls down his pants and kicks them off, “Fucking look at you, Lua, Christ almighty—”

He kneels between your feet and wraps his hands around your ankles, then slides them up the back of your legs, leaving shivering nerves in his wake as he rambles, “Seriously. It’s ridiculous, you’re just… fucking gorgeous. The most beautiful person on this planet, I swear to god.” 

The compliment swells in your chest. It tingles and flutters around inside you. Makes your fingers go numb. Your eyebrows press together and mouth gapes open as you search for the right words. 

He raises your ankles to his shoulders and scoots closer, closing his eyes as he presses a wet kiss against your calf, then hums to himself and says, “Correction: Most beautiful person in the universe.” 

You try to retreat from the blistering intensity of his statement, chuckling, “You never know, there might be some super hot aliens out there—”

“Mm-mm,” he hums in disagreement, kissing your other calf, shuffling forward a few more inches. His hands slide further up your legs, smoothing along the backs of your thighs. 

You gasp at the shiver that rolls across your skin. He plants a reverent kiss on each knee, leaving little wet pools that glow in the firelight. Your eyelids flutter at the trickle of warmth this inspires between your legs. 

“Dee,” you whisper, and he meets your eyes while nuzzling his cheek against your knee. The tickle of his facial hair sends your heart racing. Your stomach flips as you tell him, “You… you make me feel beautiful. Like… really beautiful.”

His gaze goes all doughy and soft as he searches your face. 

“I love you,” you breathe. The phrase holds all the weight it did the first time. You never thought you’d say to another person again. Not like this. 

Your words hang in the air for one moment before they really hit him. 

When they do, and they sink in, you see all the air leave his lungs. 

He climbs on top of you, folding your body in half, letting his engorged cock settle between your thighs. His lips meet yours with intensity. 

The kiss deepens, and his velvet tongue rolls soft against yours. You trail your hands through his hair, down his neck, across his chest, around his shoulders, feeling the heat of his skin against your palms as your mouths unite again and again. 

His hips jerk, and you both moan at the friction. He follows the sensation, pressing his sweaty forehead against yours, rolling his hips, sliding his length between your swollen, parted lips, up against your throbbing clit. 

You start whimpering and working against him, delighting in the heated pool of pleasure swirling deep inside you. 

“Oh, fuck, baby,” he pants, mouth gaping open as he looks down between your bodies, “Getting my cock all wet, not even inside you yet, holy fuck—”

Dieter sits back on his haunches, just out of reach, and you reel at the loss of his body heat, arching your back as you whimper and pout. 

“Hold your legs for me, love,” he instructs, pushing your thighs back so you’re all splayed out for him. You hook your hands at the creases of your knees. 

“Fucking perfect, just like that,” he groans, then grabs the base of his cock and slaps it against your pussy. The weight of this impact sends pleasure rippling across your body. 

You gasp, then nod in approval. 

“You like that, baby?” he grinds out, laying a wet smack smack smack against your clit. Your eyelids flutter shut as sharp waves of pleasure wash over you. 

“Oh my fucking god, Dee—” you choke out, nodding as you look up at him, “Do it again.”

His throat rumbles in response, eyes growing noticeably darker, brows pressing together, mouth gaping open as he grants your request. 

Smack smack smack 

Your hips jerk on their own volition with each slap, blood heating and pooling thick at your center. 

“Fuck—” you moan through gritted teeth. Your body cries out for more, and you plead, “Put it inside me. I need it, I need you—”

“Oh yeah, you need me to fill that pretty little pussy?” he purrs, nudging the head of his cock against your entrance, “Is that what you need, love?” 

You whimper and nod, trying to work your hips against him, trying to incentivize him to give you more.

Dieter sucks through his teeth and brings his thumb to your clit, drawing tight circles that vibrate down into your body. His hips delve forward just enough to push the head of his member inside you. Heat branches out from between your legs and your limbs start to shake as the tingling pleasure clings to your insides. 

“I bet you can cum just like this, can’t you? You’re going to, aren’t you, Lua? Just the tip of my fat cock getting you off?”

You start to take big breaths of air as pressure swells under his touch and you manage to choke out, “Yes—yes yes yes I’m gonna cum—fuck, don’t stop—”

He groans, rubbing your clit faster, and arousal bubbles at your center as he rasps, “That’s right, love, just let go, I want you to cum for me just like this, fuck yes—”

Throbbing heat accumulates inside you, its pressure building and building until you reach capacity. 

You buckle and break, ecstasy flooding out from your center, washing over your body, swallowing you whole. Your pussy pulses around the head of his cock, and you release a guttural moan at the ceiling while Dieter coos, “Gooood, fuck yes, there we go.” 

He continues to massage your clit even when your body starts to twitch at the stimulation. 

“Oh my god, Dee,” you whine.

He grins down at you, slowing his touch to a stop, then slides his palms up your thighs until he reaches your hands and purrs, “I got it from here, love.” 

You let go of your legs and your shaky arms fall slack on either side of your head. 

When you meet his gaze, it’s dark and wanting. It flutters inside you and draws your attention to the deliciously thick tip of him still engulfed inside you. Your tongue slides against the tender skin of your lips and you watch his eyes flutter as you arch into him, giving you both just enough friction to spark a fire. 

His hips start to roll in shallow, tediously slow thrusts. Your heart picks up speed and a shiver of pleasure shoots up your middle. He presses his eyebrows together and his mouth gapes open with a throaty moan. 

The way he’s looking at you, his eyes all heated and amorous, searching your face with wonder, glancing at your mouth like he’s holding back from kissing you… it tugs at your insides.

“Dieter,” you breathe and reach out to him, “Come here, kiss me.”

He dives at you, crushing his lips against yours, groaning at the contact, kissing you with passion that blooms at your center and makes you gasp. 

Your hands wrap around his shoulders and you bury your fingers in his curls, pulling him closer, kissing him harder, rolling your tongue against his as he starts to rut into you faster, deeper, each thrust fucking electric and consuming. 

His forehead meets yours and he pants, “You’re fucking perfect, Lua, Jesus fuck—I—I fucking love you. I wanna fuck you every day—”

You whimper and nod, “Yes yes yes fuck yes—”

“Ev—every day until I die, I swear to god—fuck—”

“Say it again,” you work against his hips, lost in the devastating ecstasy of him stretching you over and over, “Say you love me.”

“I love you, Louella,” he groans, and he starts kissing you again, messy and needy, proof of the words he’s gasping against your mouth between kisses, “I love you, I love you, I love you—”

And it’s fucking insane, how it feels like you’re on an entirely different plane of existence, in a dimension where it’s just him and you in that shining, iridescent vessel of belonging, and it’s perfect and all-encompassing, his lips, the heat of his body on yours, hot puffs of breath containing his admission of love, the way he’s filling you again and again, and it just feels right, like you were each crafted with the other in mind, meant to be together. 

Pleasure twists and aches at your core, burning hotter with each thrust, and you’re whimpering against his mouth, “Fuck fuck fuck, Dee, don’t stop—”

He moans and drives into you faster, “Wouldn’t fucking dare—wanna feel that cunt squeeze the life from me, baby—”

Static starts crackling and buzzing hot at the base of your spine, stealing your breath with a sharp gasp as it expands wider and wider, and you dig your nails into his back, muscles tightening and clenching as the sensation gathers speed and distance and it sucks you into nothingness like a black hole before ecstasy explodes across your body and you release a choked sob, “F—FUCK—”

Dieter moans against your cry, rutting into you frantically, “Oh my fucking— ” and the words escape him, body shuttering, face twisting up with pleasure as he finds his release inside you with a few sharp thrusts. 

He gasps and his hips slow to a stop. 

His sweaty forehead presses against yours and he pants, “That was—wow—”

Bliss is still shimmering under your skin, fluttering down like the snowflakes falling onto the ground outside, and you giggle, “Fucking awesome?”

He laughs breathlessly at this and wraps his arms around you, scooping you up as he rolls onto his side. His lips meet yours for a sleepy, languid kiss, and he confirms, “Fucking awesome.” 

You gather your pillows from the love nest on your living room floor and start towards the bedroom as Dieter grabs your comforter. 

“Oh shit,” you hear him mumble, and you turn around to see him staring at the black ink stain. He glances up at you, “Is that from the ashtray? Fuck, sorry—”

Your heart clenches in your chest and you shake your head, “Oh–no, that’s um… that’s ink, I haven’t been able to get it to lift.”

He frowns and tilts his head at it, then looks back up at you, “Did you try rubbing alcohol?”

You blink and shake your head, “No.”

“Works like a charm,” he shrugs, then tosses the comforter over his shoulder and yawns as he moseys towards the bedroom, passing you while you find yourself rooted in place, staring at the stain. 

The squeak of Dieter collapsing on your bed sounds from behind you, then he calls out, “Are you coming?” 

You shake yourself out of the trance and clear your tight throat, then turn to join him. 

[ Next Chapter ]

#psychomanteum #dieter bravo fanfic #dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x ofc #the bubble fic #the bubble fanfiction #the bubble #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character smut #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal character fandom

[thetriumphantpanda]

All of these are based on my headcanons of the boys, which are based just the slightest bit on how the characters were actually written lollll

Frankie - I just have a soft spot for him. To me, he is a gentle man who wants his woman to feel cared for and satisfied. Frankie would be a good warm up and would get me relaxed and raring to go for the rest of the boys. I see it being more akin to making love than fucking. Soft, sensual, caring.

Joel - I thought of putting him first, but the thought of him getting up in there all mixed up with frankie does things to me, so he gets to go second. I picture frankie being soft touches and whispered compliments and love, whereas I picture joel a little more powerful: some soft dom vibes with a little dirty talk and a little more rough. I think he would make sure I was enjoying it, but his main concern would be doing what he's there to do: put his load in me (he would also have to make sure I cum on his dick though)

Javi Peña- I put him in the middle because I see him as a little more indifferent to where he is in the lineup. I think he would just care about giving me what I want/need. I hc that he's very open sexually so I don't think that he would be particularly turned on or off by the thought of other dudes' cum already in there. I also think javi would have some goooood dirty talk. Just picturing him bent over me, whispering in my ear about how he's going to fuck the other guys' cum so deep into me before he adds his own to the mix 🥵

Ezra - I would just love to hear him wax poetic about all the seed the guys have planted in me and how my fertile womb will be such a hospitable environment for this precious life we're creating, all while he's just railing me.

Marcus Moreno - still surprised by my own brain for this one. I think I'm just into the idea of this clean cut, glasses wearing, dad vibes dude sliding into a hole that's already sloppy from three other guys. I hc that he would be a little unsure, but he's gotta help this damsel in distress, so he steps up to the plate and actually kinda likes it more than he expected to. The idea of him being like "okay I just need to help her out, I'll cum and be done", but then actually being turned on by watching the other guys with me and being lowkey excited when it's finally his turn?!

Dieter - My precious dieter. I have such strong hcs for him. I'm a fat woman and I think that he would be obsessed with how soft and squishy my stomach and thighs are (not in a fetishy way, just in an appreciating comfort way). Also seeing how my body jiggles when he fucks into me? He would be delighted. I think of him as a very tactile/sensory based person. I think he would love feeling himself slide through the other guys loads and knowing that I was already nice and loose for him. He would also def get down on his knees after filling me, using his fingers to keep in the cum that he can, and using his tongue to help clean me up.

Please tell me where you agree and disagree. I LOVE hearing how other people headcanon characters, especially when a lot of the pedro boys don't really have that much source material to base hcs off of!

Also, please don't block me for this 💀

Okay, first of all, I want you to know that I would NEVER block you for this. EVER. I want my blog to be a safe space where people can share their thoughts, fantasies and kinks and not feel shamed about it, so please do not worry about this.

SECONDLY. HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS - BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S FILTH BUT HERE WE GO.

Frankie fuckin' Morales.... YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT THIS BKA. Frankie is the perfect first man - he's gonna get you all relaxed and warm and pliant, he's gonna make you feel special. He's gonna make you feel loved. LITERALLY THE PERFECT FUCKING MAN TO GO FIRST OKAY.

Joel Miller, son of bitch. Joel, in my mind, has the dirtiest mouth of all the Pedro boys, idk I just know that man wouldn't shut up the whole fucking time praising you - in my mind I can already picture him saying 'so fucking pretty with Frankie's cum in you, gonna fill you up even more pretty girl' - FERAL.

I love this canon about Javi Peña being sexually open because I see this too - I think he knows he's there to do a job, he knows there have been people before him and will be people after him and he's just concerned about making sure you have a good time and I kinda vibe with that? I just fucking love Peña with my life.

I have to admit that I've not seen Prospect - it's literally one of the only things I've not watched Pedro in, but holy shit I kinda love this - just a man getting all poetic about getting me pregnant? HELL YEAH

Marcus - I'm still loving this little left field choice - I reckon this man has HELL of a daddy kink - don't ask me to explain this, but I reckon he'd be obsessed with you talking to him through it, like 'I'm gonna make you a daddy' and he'd be like absolutely wild for it? And him being worked up watching everyone go before him is so Marcus Moreno to me, like at first he'd be so shy but by his time comes around he's already on the edge just from watching you get railed by everyone else? DELICIOUS.

AND DIETER MY BABY HOLY SHIT THE LOVE I FEEL FOR THIS MAN. As a fellow fat woman, I vibe with this so hard BKA. I just know this man would be obsessed with a body like ours and him eating us out after? FOR SURE THIS MAN DOES CUM PLAY LIKE NO OTHER IN MY MIND.

Okay, so now I have to go and take a fucking breather because this has FINISHED ME OFF. Thank you for sharing, for feeling comfortable enough to do it and for really making my day with this!

#BKA tag #fuck me this was glorious #I genuinely have the best followers #panda answers

[parmsnik]

Your Little Shop of Horrors AU you made with @marbarmars sounds really cool! I’m curious where the story is so far

OH MY FUCKING GOD I DEADASS HAVEN'T SEE THIS TILL NOW THANK YOU TUMBLR Grrr..

Bur, thank you so much for your ask! Lemme answer it,,,

So, if you didn't know, this au is based off the popular musical 'Little Shop Of Horrors' and this au is structured after the 1986 movie.

The plot of the au reflects the same storybeats of the movie but some details are slightly tweaked to accommodate with the characters, lemme explain.

First let me explain the main cast. Our main man Seymour is replaced by Naspi, unlike Seymour, Naspi wasn't a orphan, he was still raised by his parents but his love for plants, still the same! Rather than simply buying the plant, it just appeared after the eclipse!

Audrey, is replaced by the wonderful Minty, she grew up in a home without her father and her mother was poor all her life [just like Audrey in the movie]

Then the main antagonist, Audrey 2 is replaced with Minty 2 [or, he much rather be called Fawful! ]. The nickname 'Twoey' stays the same is both.

Mr Mushnik is now Popple and is no longer Seymour's adoptive dad figure.. Minty and Naspi just said he owns the shop to make the Lil guy feel better

Orin [the dentist] is Dieter.. cause he's just a dick teehee,,

@aliencatwafers @marbarmars

#little shop of horrors #lsoh au #Fawful #Popple #Dieter #Naspi #Minty #@ailencatwafers

[rye-views]

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) dir. Steven Spielberg. 7/10 Updated 2 years later. (8.22.20.) 7.5/10

White people just need to stay in their fucking lane and leave the world alone. Just live normally.

Spielberg and his dramatic af music and sound design. Amazing.

This theme of other creatures eating a man to death is common.

Legit, no one should be alive. Like wtf.

Memorable Quotes: “Life will find a way.” “This is tall talk” “But, you never keep your word.”

Updated Commentary:

The concept of hunting is so sad, especially using the young as a lure.

I love Kelly.

Eddie didn’t deserve to die. He did a lot.

Spoiler: [About a wealthy family stopping on an island, Isla Sorna, with their yacht. Deirdre is overbearing on her daughter, Cathy, as she goes off. Cathy finds a Compsognathus and feeds it some roast beef from her sandwich. She ends up encountering an entire group of it and screams for help. Her family rushes to her and Deirdre screams. Ian Malcolm is on the train and a man approaches him about him talking about dinosaurs on TV. Ian goes to meet Hammond and sees Tim and Lex. Peter Ludlow, Hammond’s nephew, uses the incident with the injured girl to take control of InGen, which created Jurassic Park. He discusses with Malcolm about how he signed a nondisclosure agreement, yet he told the truth to the public, even though no one believed him and he lost his tenure and reputation. Hammond talks with Malcolm about how the dinosaurs were originally bred on Isla Sorna and was transported to Jurassic Park in Isla Nublar. The facility on Isla Sorna was wiped out by a hurricane and the dinosaurs have been creating their own ecosystem without human interference. There are questions about how it’s surviving and Hammond wants a small team to investigate and document it. He now wants it untouched by the public, but knows that humans will find and take advantage of it eventually. To use public opinion to help him, he needs to document it first. He has his team consist of Nick Van Owen, a video documentarian, Eddie Carr, a field equipment expert, a paleontologist, Sarah Harding, and now wants Malcolm. Malcolm refuses to join until he learns that Sarah is already there and he wants to rescue her. Sarah is his girlfriend. Malcolm meets with Eddie and Nick Van Owen as they’re preparing their equipment. Malcolm’s daughter, Kelly, also arrives. She expresses her desire to join him on his trip, but he refuses. He wants her to stay with Karen and she talks about how he can’t be a part time dad and that he doesn’t even know that she got cut from the gymnastics team. They go by boat and Eddie reveals a gun that shoots a neurotoxin dart that can put the animal down before it’s even aware of being shot. The boat captain says he’ll drop them off early since he won’t go near the island that’s rumored to be called Las Cinco Muertes. He can be called if they want to leave. The group arrives on the island and starts taking pictures of the Stegosaurus that they see. They come across Sarah taking pictures too. Malcolm and Sarah talk about why she’s here and how she has to leave. Sarah gets close to a baby Stagosaurus and scares it when her camera film runs out. She evades attack from the grownup dinosaurs. Sarah talks about everything she’s studied and learned here, how they should actively not disrupt the environment, and so on. She deems that the lysine deficiency no longer matters since they eat plants that have lysine. They come back to find a fire that Kelly has made after she stowed away on their trailer. Malcolm can’t get proper signal on the phone to find a way to leave. Sarah talks to Malcolm about how he doesn’t save her from situations she actually needs saving from. They all notice InGen helicopters arriving and are confused why there is another team. The other team consists of many men, second in command, Dieter Stark, and paleontologist, Dr. Robert Burke, led by Roland Tembo and Ajay Sidhu. Ludlow is also there and concedes to listen to Roland. Roland’s goal is to help them collect dinosaurs to be brought back to the mainland and hunt a tyrannosaurus buck for himself. They manage to get the desired dinosaurs in cages as Malcolm’s group watches. A Procompsognathus Triassicus approaches Dieter and Burke says it shouldn’t fear man yet since it hasn’t seen one. Dieter electrocutes it. Roland and Ajay find a Rex nest and uses the infant to lure the T-Rex. Malcolm’s group watches and sees that the other group has better equipment. Nick mentions that he’s the backup plan from Hammond in case they see this team. They start secretly opening up all the cages to free the dinosaurs. Ludlow talks in a video conference about his plan to bring the

dinosaurs to a new Jurassic Park in San Diego and how it’s a much better plan than the island ever was. Nick finds the injured T-Rex infant and takes it back to their base. He and Sarah tend to its leg fracture. Malcolm tries to get in contact with help. When Kelly is scared by the infant’s cries, she wants to be taken somewhere high. Malcolm goes with her and Eddie to the high hide that puts them where the trees are. When they notice the T-Rex approaching the base and Sarah and Nick aren’t answering the phone, Malcolm runs to them. Two T-Rexes approach the trailer after Malcolm arrives and they stare at the infant. Malcolm and Sarah realize it’s searching and not hunting, so they release the infant outside. The T-Rexes start pushing the trailer off the cliff. Half of it is off the cliff and Sarah is on top of the breaking glass that separates her from the cliff bottom. Malcolm holds onto her right as the glass breaks. Eddie arrives and throws them a rope after tying it to a tree. It pulls apart as Eddie tries to attach the trailer to his truck winch since it keeps sliding down. After he does so, he reattaches the rope to the tree and drives the truck backwards to pull the trailer back. The T-Rexes return and start attacking Eddie’s truck. He is eaten. The others manage to climb the rope with help after the other InGen team arrives. All their communications are gone and they stick together. Sarah and Burke talk about how the T-Rex territory has now changed, so they need to move now. They plan to go to the communications center at an old operations building to contact for an airlift. They move onward and Roland talks to Nick about hunting to live. Ludlow talks to Malcolm about how he’ll be better than Hammond was. During a break, Roland learns that the blood on Sarah’s clothes are the infant’s and isn’t drying. Dieter goes to the woods to pee after telling Carter to wait for him even though Carter couldn’t hear through his headphones. Dieter gets lost after confronting a Compsognathus. He calls for Carter but is unheard. The Compsoganthus group starts pursuing him and he gets even more lost. He falls down a slope and loses his gun. The group attacks him and he gets them off after being injured. They continue to chase him and eventually kill him. When Roland discovers he is missing, he goes to search for him with Carter. The others move onward. As they sleep, Roland comes back to say Dieter is dead. The T-Rex arrives as they sleep and infiltrates Sarah’s tent as it sniffs her hanging jacket. Sarah tries to calm Kelly down when she wakes up and sees what’s happening. Carter wakes up and screams, causing everyone to run and panic. The T-Rex starts chasing and attacking them. Roland goes to kill it. Many men get killed by raptors in the long grass even though Ajay told them to not go in. Malcolm’s group finds Ajay’s pack in the grass later. Nick runs to the communications center on his own while Sarah and Kelly tend to Malcolm and his injured leg. Nick succeeds in calling for help. Malcolm, Sarah, and Kelly get to the center and find raptors. Sarah and Kelly get into a building as the raptors try to dig their way in. Sarah and Kelly try to dig their way out the other way. Malcolm runs away from a different raptor. A raptor gets in from Sarah and Kelly’s dig and Sarah and Kelly climb their way up the building to avoid it. Malcolm gets to them as the raptors pursue. Kelly uses her gymnastics skills to push a raptor away. Malcolm and Kelly get away as Sarah is on the roof and makes the raptor fall to the ground. She escapes as the two raptors fight each other. The three get to Nick and the helicopter. Nick reveals that he stole Roland’s ammunition, which could’ve killed the T-Rex. They fly away, but see that the T-Rex has been captured nonetheless and tranquilized. Ludlow offers a job to Roland as they prepare to head back. Roland rejects and thinks of Ajay’s death. In San Diego, Ludlow announces to the people as they are preparing to welcome the ship bringing in the T-Rex. Ludlow learns that the ship isn’t responding to their

calls and is coming at a speed that is too fast. Malcolm and Sarah are eventually let into the place. The ship ends up crashing into the dock. They learn that the ship crew has been killed and one remote is controlling the opening of the T-Rex cargo hold. A man gets the remote and accidentally opens up the cargo hold. The T-Rex rampages through the city. Malcolm and Sarah figure out the location of the infant from Ludlow. A child wakes his parents up to let them know that a dinosaur is in the backyard. They argue with one another as they realize he’s telling the truth. Sarah and Malcolm break into InGen and kidnap the sedated infant. They find the grownup T-Rex by seeing the city people flee from it. The T-Rex starts chasing after Sarah and Malcolm after realizing they have the infant. Ludlow sends orders to shoot the T-Rex while keeping the infant safe. Malcolm and Sarah get to the docks and put the infant in the cargo hold. They jump off the ship as Ludlow pursues them. Ludlow doesn’t jump off, but goes to capture the infant. The T-Rex enters and kills Ludlow. Malcolm closes the doors as Sarah shoots the T-Rex with the neurotoxin dart. The news talks about the cargo hold ship heading back to the island to be left alone with many escort ships watching over the shipment. Hammond is interviewed as he talks about trusting nature and not having man interfere.]

#the lost world #lost world #jurassic park #the lost world: jurassic park #lost world: jurassic park #steven spielberg #7.5 #1997 #movie #film #review #commentary #rye-views

[thebarefootking]

Food

As with many autistic people, my childhood was rife with battles at the dinner table over what I would and would not eat. (Or, in my case, the bar. Our trailer didn't have a dinner table, per se, and I ate on a tall chair in the kitchen, facing across the bar toward the living room TV, while my parents sat on the couch.) Some foods were fan favorites, some I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot fork. Tomatoes, I hated (and still hate!) One of my earliest memories is of a preschool teacher, so much bigger than me, coming up behind while I picked at my food.

"Don't you like tomatoes?"

"No. They're gross."

"Have you ever tried a tomato?"

"No. They smell bad and they're mushy."

"Well how do you know you don't like it, if you haven't tasted it?" she asked, ignoring the fact I'd just told her. "Try it. For me?"

"I don't wanna."

"Just one bite?"

"I don't. wanna."

"You need to try the tomato."

Of course, when I finally gave in to her badgering, I 'learned' what had already been apparent to me: tomatoes were gross.

Some foods, more interestingly, were one-day delights, preferred a couple times and then hated thereafter. Eggs, for example, were always a trial. A nice scramble was always accepted, at least for my youngest years, until I learned more about where eggs came from. After that, I swore I could taste the chicken embryos, and I didn't eat eggs for a good, long while. When I repented of my folly, fried eggs were the dish of the day, but only one way: cooked hard, with the yolk unbroken. That way, I could peel the egg white away and eat it, and leave the whole yolk on my plate to be disposed of or, more frequently, eaten by one of my parents.

For those of you who cook, you may know that this is a particularly difficult way to prepare eggs. Either the yolks stay runny and burst on the plate (bad), or they burst in the pan from heat and overhandling, and mingle inextricably with the white (worse). Dad claims it took him months of practice to figure out how to do it, and years to get really good… by which time I'd gone off eggs again, preferring a sweeter breakfast (probably for the energy boost it gave me. By the time 4th-6th grades rolled around, school was causing me to work up an intense appetite.)

Although I didn't have a very broad spectrum of preferred tastes, that didn't stop me wanting to experiment in the kitchen. Indeed, it was one of my favorite things to do! Unfortunately, I could rarely get an adult to allow it (partly because we, in our poverty, could not afford to waste ingredients. Partly because, again, due to poverty, everyone was just too damn exhausted to supervise something that potentially dangerous.) Instead, I usually ended up sneaking and doing it on my own, which invariably led to trauma of one kind or another.

One incident occurred one of the very first times my parents dubbed me old enough to stay home on my own while they went out to run errands. Having recently seen a news spot on dyed salt for those seeking to reduce their salt intake, I sought to replicate the stuff in my own kitchen. How hard could it be? I thought. Just add food coloring to salt.

Only, food coloring has water in it.

All the salt (and I do mean all the salt in the house) was now a dark blue-green color, and the texture of wet sand. I needed to dry it out! But I wasn't allowed to use the oven or stove unsupervised. What could I do?

I decided the best option was to microwave the salt. I spread it out on a large plate, and nuked it in batches until all the salt was dry. Unfortunately, for the first batch, I failed to realise how VERY FUCKING HOT the plate would be after several minutes spinning away in the microwave. I pulled it out barehanded, screeched in pain, and tossed the Perry-the-Platypus-colored salt all over the kitchen floor and microwave cabinet.

Not good. I was already beginning to worry about what my parents would think about all this business with the salt. Now I had a mess on my hands to boot. I tended to my (thankfully minor) burns, and then began swabbing the floor and cabinet with damp paper towels...

… which spread the food dye EVERYWHERE. Now the salt was teal, the floor was teal, the cabinet was teal, and I was teal.

And I had no idea when my parents would return!

I cleaned frantically, microwaving salt on the side the entire time. And somehow (perhaps Lot's wife was smiling upon me?) I got it all managed. My parents came home to a nice, clean kitchen (if you didn't see the small blue spots in the crevices at the very edge of one cabinet), and a calm, collected child (also slightly spotted, but only on the palms, easily hidden). Nothing of note occurred until dinner time.

"LAUREN!!"

Apparently, Dad did not like that all of his salt was turned 'blue'. My reasoning appeased his anger, but he was still pretty displeased. I was temporarily banned from using the microwave without permission. And they were far more cautious about leaving me alone, after that.

(These days, Dad frequently apologises for this. He says it was a creative and thoughtful act, and he shouldn't have gotten mad. I agree, but I'm also not mad anymore. The whole thing is rather funny in retrospect.)

A much more traumatic food event, much later, but still involving the microwave, was the first time I tried making microwave mac 'n cheese. It was around the inception of Easy Mac, so the idea was quite novel; it wasn't as if I had a backlog of knowledge on what not to do…

I followed the instructions exactly, with the single differing point of adding some dried parsley before cooking.

AND LET ME TELL YOU.

If you are going to add parsley to your Easy Mac, do it after cooking! Cooking amplifies and alters the flavor so that it tastes like you added some sort of cooked leafy vegetable, like spinach, except somewhat more like an inedible plant. The flavor permeates every nook and noodle, and even the cheese sauce can't mask it.

It was inedible. Beyond inedible; it was sensory overload of the worst kind.

And my parents, who had watched the whole thing, and warned me of putting anything in my food that I didn't 100% know would taste good, made me eat it.

At first, there was a screaming match, until I wore myself out with tears and begging. Then, I just sat there, defeated, thinking of ways I could get out of eating it. Maybe if I intentionally get choked on the food? Maybe if I shatter the glass of the coffee table, and then hurt myself with it? Something to make them care about something other than me eating this food. Anything to make them see how much eating the food was bad and wrong and how much it hurt me.

I was never, in my entire childhood, a willfully disobedient child. Well, small things, here or there, a child's innocent inability to self-regulate their impulses or understand the rules. Never did I knowingly and intentionally go against my parents' commands when I now feel like I had another real choice. But there were times, like these, when I didn't have a choice.

I ate three bites before my body rebelled and I threw up. Mom didn't follow through on her threat to make me eat the vomit and finish the food.

Instead, I got grounded for two weeks.

Incidentally, I've never gotten an apology for this little incident, despite it being the one I'm still angry over.

None of this is to say I was too picky to be fed, or that I ever went without (excepting that one night with the poison mac). If anything, I ate more than plenty in an attempt to offset the lacks in nutrition my pickiness inevitably led to. I'm sure that I was malnourished at times, despite eating more than my necessary share of calories.

And boy, was I aware of what that share was! My parents were and are avid yo-yo dieters, always on one plan or another to lose the weight they gained off a diet of poverty foods. All the while, frustrated by my pickiness, they fed me on breakfasts of whole packages of off-brand cinnamon rolls or apple turnovers. My lunch was usually whatever snack-foods I could convince the lunch ladies to sell me for the same price as a school lunch I wouldn't eat. With both parents either busy or exhausted, dinner was Taco Bell nearly every damn weekday.

It was inevitable that I would gain weight, with the genes, environment, and diet all inclined toward it. I was ten or eleven the first time my parents mentioned including me in one of their diet plans.

Not likely, I thought. I had long since decided that healthy food was gross, like school lunches and boiled vegetables and limp salads. And I wouldn't, couldn't cut my portions; not when I had to stay alert and concentrating while hauling all my books all around the school without a bookbag (which, after the Columbine shooting, had been banned at my school, lest we ten-year-olds have a place to conceal a weapon). I was already battling undiagnosed ADHD. I didn't need low blood sugar on top of it.

Still, if it gave them an incentive to buy more fresh fruit, I wasn't going to complain.

(And I didn't complain at all about any of their diets, until the one that consisted almost exclusively of boiled cabbage soup that stank the house to high heaven. I didn't even entertain joining them on that one.)

What it all added up to, though, was someone who, by the age of eleven, already had enormous issues with food and body image. And diet, for that matter, for we still hadn't found a healthy variety of foods that I would eat. By the time I was in high school, I was eating Cheetos and Little Debbies with Mountain Dew for lunch every weekday except Wednesday (chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes day in the cafeteria! Hell yeah!) I was also being (mildly) bullied for my weight.

Adulthood came after, with blessings and curses. When I moved out on my own, I had more opportunity (and income!) to explore what I liked culinarily. I got to employ the whole backlog of tips and tricks from cooking shows that I had watched for years. (At one point, during high school, I had wanted to become a chef. I gave up the idea when I realised how ill-suited I was to the job, but the education of the time stuck with me.)

I got to learn my favorite ways to cook food (pan fried, not baked. Baking unseasoned meat is not 'cooking', Dad.) I got to play with spices and flavors.

Or, I did for a while.

Very soon, my work at McDonald's caught up with me, and I found myself too tired to do much cooking. (Sorry, Dad! I understand, now!) More and more, my meals were eaten at work, from work. Over the next year, my stress increased, and my eating habits faltered along. And then, I began passing out at work.

Now, I needn't tell you this is a very dangerous situation, what with all the hot oil and ovens and lamps and such in a kitchen. I was sent home more than once, and it was becoming a danger not only to me, but to the state of my employment. I got in with a doctor as soon as I possibly could, and they determined that I had iron deficiency anemia.

No one was particularly surprised. I have a family history of the affliction, and I had basically been living off yogurt cups, Sausage Egg McMuffins, and chicken biscuits with cheese for months. My doctor suggested diet changes and high-dose iron supplements.

(One of these two turned my poop to black sin slime from a hell portal in my bowels. It was not the diet.)

Immediately, I switched over to a high-iron, high-protein, low-carb diet. And you know what? I felt fucking fantastic. I had energy for days, my mental acuity was improved, and my mood was better. I fell asleep faster and slept more soundly.

For three months, I kept it up. But then the financial burden became too much. Turns out, it's damn expensive to eat home-cooked meat every day when you're picky as hell. I was easily spending at least two to three times as much as I was when I was eating only fast food (on employee discount, admittedly). And soon, between the stress, the financial concerns, and my health problems, I had to move back in with my parents.

Honestly, I still haven't found peace with food and its place in my life. Coming to accept what my sensory needs mean for me has been difficult, and working around those needs in a productive way has been nearly impossible, especially with my other disabilities in tow. I feel that I'm learning to be kinder to my body emotionally speaking, but I could still be much kinder to it physically. 

If only I could figure out how.

I wish I could be that little kid who loved experimenting in the kitchen, again. But I'm not, and I can't. So I'll have to find another way to take care of me.

#a year of writing #01062020 #self harm #school shooting mention #diet talk #child abuse #vomit tw #medical stuff #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #long post #this one's kind of long and disjointed #sorry for that lol #and lots of warnings on this one!

[genesiagoudal-archive]

🟣 WKM1: 12 hours of ephemera

Throughout the day, I recorded my thoughts on paper and scanned 12 sequences of objects around me, things I like, pieces from my mind palace.

I then designed a zine/book exploring the themes of: mind palace - objects - life - ephemera - protocol - diary - intimacy - common space - conflicts - death - archive - cloud

By confronting objects from my surroundings with digital analysis tools (AI), the narratives swing in between intimacy, randomness, data and categorisation of the mundane. Will the cloud (…as an online auto generated archive shelf ) become the new way of extracting, revealing the everyday life? or not.

⬛️ INSPIRATIONS

• Dieter Roth - ‘Flat Waste’  1975 Quotidian cataloguing of arbitrary detritus. Stored in relevant binder and stock up into shelves.

• Petra Cortright - ‘Hell Tree’  2005 Online artist book exploring rupture facades, revealing the bones of softwares.

• Cory Arcangel - ‘Data Diaries’ 2003 An autobiographical portrait and record of the artistic process. Methods of auto-generated computer graphics revealing hidden RAM files.

⬛️ LINK TO BOOK VIEWER

https://issuu.com/genesia.goudal/docs/weekly_make_01

⬛️ DIARY ENTRIES

9:00

wake up in silence. check my phone, obviously. some cereals and tearing up to an adoption video. planning the day; looking through my sketchbook, what am I gonna do? reading about net art projects :/by rhizome their approach to graphic detritus, unseen data and interactive networks in public space. http://archive.rhizome.org/exhibition/artbase101/ how to auto generate computer graphics? google help me.

10:00 looking into google a.i. assistant to analyse and classify data in pictures. a new way of archiving? objects of vague and surprising dialogues, floating around… my feet are shaking, I am excited to see if this could work. … "en cours, importation des images" … just tried out the very simple a.p.i cloud vision by google. me, myblog profile picture, an answer.

11:00 making my bed; hope into the shower, one selfie before, one selfie after. dancing to the monkeys, hoovering my room actively, quickly get things done. energy is flowing. classified, everything is in place. ahh.

12:00 the smell of fresh food is sweet. eating with my sisters and mom, around some mashed carrot and roasted potatoes. wildflowers on the kitchen table. dealing with boyfriends struggles.

13:00 after lunch, there is time to do nothing. sitting in our velvety couch and building my Animal Crossing island a bit more. planting some flowers. enjoying the sun. exploring the garden.

14:00 froth and cappuccino. duvet to the hands. (…) a few flowers.

15:00 every afternoon, time flies by. detritus, ephemeras, proofs of life. birds are singing. how can this images fit together? what questions or feelings do they produce?

16:00 diving into collections of artists' books :/https://edcat.net the work feels true, raw; its intimate but exposed, ready to be seen. starting to design a little book of data.

17:00 hop on indoor bicycle and run 8.8 km. new record!! my heart is racing but I feel more at ease everyday. still 3 weeks to complete. 21. now sitting comfortably in this 2000s ikea swinging chair. wind. sigh. the best moment of the day. finished a yoga training to restore muscles and breath. "bring your attention back to your body" she said. while fountain water is flowing, the sun sets down.

18:00 the day slowly, rapidly ends. listening to acoustic songs and putting lotion over my face. soup is in the making.

19:00 my dad came back from work, talking about the day while having some goat cheese. my stomach hurts but I continue. after dinner, having some leftover easter chocolate. playing with 'gantou', our rabbit. cute and gentle.

[fuckyeahtattoogirls-blog1]

Keto diet: weight loss and disease treatment

New Post has been published on https://bestrawfoodrecipes.com/keto-diet-weight-loss-and-disease-treatment/

Keto diet: weight loss and disease treatment

At first, the cravings were like “a drug withdrawal,” Jay Wortman recalls.

Lying on a hotel bed in Ottawa one night, he’d had to white-knuckle his way out of eating Ferrero Rocher chocolates he’d spirited off a flight. A recent Type 2 diabetes diagnosis had prompted the Vancouver-based family medicine doctor to cut out nearly all carbohydrates — sweets, pasta, bread, even fruit — in an attempt to manage his blood sugar while he waited to start medication. But he couldn’t stop thinking about those chocolates, or his favorite breakfast: waffles doused in syrup. “I think I was a full-fledged sugar addict,” he says.

Four months later, the sugar pangs had eased. He got through the early weeks by stocking up on artificial sweeteners and focusing on how much his 2-year-old son needed a healthy dad. With sugar off the table, he says, all that was left was “the non-carby foods” — bacon, eggs, steak, and vegetables. Soon, he started sleeping better and feeling less fatigued. Weight was coming off at the rate of a pound a day, until he was down 30 pounds and no longer overweight. “I had to get my pants taken in,” Wortman says. “And then I had to get them taken in again.”

More than 16 years later and still following the ultra-high-fat, low-carb regimen that’s become popularized under the name keto, Wortman has never taken a diabetes drug. He hasn’t needed to. He feels stronger and is skiing the most ambitious slopes of his life. “At 68, I’m far fitter than I was at 52 when [my diet] started,” he says.

Transformation stories like his — and the thousands of seemingly hyperbolic claims of dieters losing dozens of pounds, complete with Instagrammed before-and-afters — have made keto the biggest diet phenomenon today. The most Googled diet of 2018, it has eclipsed household names like Weight Watchers (now known as WW) and the other low-carb regimens, Atkins and Paleo.

Keto is a Silicon Valley life-hacking fixation (see author Tim Ferriss’s keto videos), a Hollywood trend (see Kourtney Kardashian’s and Halle Berry’s keto journeys), and fodder for numerous online communities. Devotees can meet at low-carb keto cruises, keto conferences, and keto cafes. While there’s no leading figurehead, a cadre of evangelists sell books and pseudo-medical supplements and devices to help dieters check whether they’re truly in “ketosis,” the holy grail fat-burning state keto dieters are after.

Beyond all the hype, the chance that keto — a minimalist variation on the diet promoted by cardiologist Robert Atkins — can solve the obesity crisis is vanishingly slim. On average, low-carb diets look a lot like others when it comes to long-term weight loss: Most people can’t stick to them. There’s tremendous variation in how humans respond to nutritional and dietary tweaks, and let’s not forget that the promises keto boosters now make are reminiscent of the overhyped claims that fueled the recent gluten-free craze.

But how do you explain results like Wortman’s? He expected that avoiding carbs would help manage his blood sugar in the very short term, not that his other diabetes-related symptoms — thirstiness, frequent urination, and blurred vision — would vanish. And he definitely didn’t anticipate that the diet would allow him to control the disease long-term, without any medication.

Keto might not be an obesity panacea, but it would be a mistake to dismiss the diet as just another fad, in part because of results such as Wortman’s. Along with all the dubious keto supplements and the weight loss books has come a growing body of science exploring keto as a potential foil for Type 2 diabetes and other illnesses. It’s part of a fascinating broader examination of how we might use nutrition to treat disease.

“It’s anti-establishment”

Keto isn’t just low-carb — it is practically no-carb. Its followers avoid ice cream and pizza, as well as whole grains, fruits, and legumes such as brown rice, apples, and lentils. No bakery-fresh bagels, homemade apple pie, birthday cake, or even juicy watermelon.

But what people eat in America — and around the world — is carbohydrates. They account for roughly half the calories on average in the American diet, come highly recommended in national nutrition guidelines, and feature prominently in the traditional diets of everyone from pasta-munching Italians to rice-loving Indonesians.

According to the United Nations’ Food and Agriculture Organization, of the world’s more than 50,000 edible plants, “Just three of them, rice, maize and wheat, provide 60 percent of the world’s food energy intake.” All three of those staples are carbs.

To follow a keto diet is to reject this culture and history. And while keto forbids processed junk foods — something common to just about every diet — it also severely limits the fruits, grains, and legumes suggested by the US Department of Agriculture as essential parts of a healthy diet. Keto adherents believe the conventional nutrition wisdom is not only wrong but actively harmful.

This rejection of mainstream thinking helps explain why keto went viral at this moment, and why it’s more than just a diet. It’s a cultural identity.

Take Wortman. He’s been on two of Jimmy Moore’s low-carb cruises, sailing across the Caribbean, downing steak after steak. His wife started keto shortly after he did and remains on the diet. He calls their daughter, who was born seven years into their keto lifestyle, “a product of a keto gestation.”

The diet didn’t just change Wortman’s life; it changed how he thought about medicine and nutrition. He believes there’s a conspiracy by a “matrix of agendas” to promote a plant-based diet. The “whole fiber thing is a myth,” he tells me. He also thinks the concerns about a meat-heavy diet’s impact on the planet — that cows produce too much methane — are hugely overblown (they aren’t), and that the link between cardiovascular disease and saturated fat has been “debunked” (it hasn’t).

In a time when black is white, up is down, and discussions of fake news dominate the news cycle, it’s no accident that keto went viral, says Alan Levinovitz, a James Madison University religion professor who studies diet beliefs. “It’s anti-establishment,” mirroring other strains of rebelliousness in our politics, he says. He experimented with the carnivore diet (a form of keto) and says he experienced no health improvement.

Americans are living in the aftermath of the low-fat experiment — where the public learned about guidelines and studies that have often been muddied by food industry interests. With its emphasis on fat, keto is the antidote to the Snackwell’s era. You can gorge on butter and bacon and stay in ketosis. It’s the perfect fuck-everything-you-know-about-nutrition diet.

A diet to heal disease?

Keto’s potential to heal has captured the imagination of people like Columbia University oncologist and author Siddhartha Mukherjee, who has been studying the diet’s effects on cancer. “We are trying to steer clear of any diet crazes,” he says. “For me, it’s thinking of the diet as a tool or drug,” one that may work when used in tandem with traditional cancer medicines in “a very particular population of cancer patients.” Keto’s effects on insulin and glucose levels — and how they may interfere with cancer cell growth — are what intrigue Mukherjee and other scientists.

He’s only tested the cancer hypothesis in mice. And he has other concerns, echoed by many in the medical field, including that keto may not be safe for the cardiovascular system since it can drive up cholesterol levels.

Wortman, the keto evangelist, is gratified that other doctors are at least opening their minds to keto as a therapy, something he didn’t expect to happen in his lifetime. After his high-fat and -protein diet controlled his blood sugar, he started reading about keto in Atkins’s books and scientific papers and became convinced of its potency.

The diet’s potential for treating Type 2 diabetes is the aspect of keto that has long obsessed Wortman. More than a decade ago, he started lecturing on the subject at medical conferences, only to be lambasted. Other health professionals believed the high-fat regimen would damage people’s kidneys, arteries, and brains.

Wortman felt vindicated when, this spring, the American Diabetes Association came out with a consensus statement — intended as guidance for doctors across the country — suggesting a very low-carb diet could be a nutritional treatment option for some patients with diabetes.

Today, Wortman prescribes keto to all his patients who have Type 2 diabetes. (The standard medical interventions include weight loss, exercise, medication such as metformin, and insulin therapy, as well as regular blood sugar monitoring.) He’s even experimented with using the diet to treat northern British Columbia’s aboriginal people, who are disproportionately diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Though he never published anything on the experiment in a scholarly journal, it was the subject of a 2008 Canadian Broadcasting Corporation documentary. “People lost weight, improved their diabetes, and got off their medications,” says Wortman, who does not profit from advocating for the keto diet.

“The obvious failure of the conventional approach has also been getting too big to ignore,” he adds. “I often say to my patients and colleagues now, ‘What’s the most important thing you do about your health? It’s your diet.’”

The burning question

The reason for shunning sugars is that eating more than the equivalent of a slice or two of bread each day can knock dieters out of ketosis. Dr. Atkins reportedly liked to say that ketosis is “as delightful as sunshine and sex.” (With his four-phase plan, he promised to help people “stay thin forever” by eating more fat and fewer carbs — the same way the now-popular Keto Reset Diet book promises to “burn fat forever.”)

To understand how ketosis works, consider how the human body uses fuel. On a typical high-carb diet, we’re fueled primarily by glucose (or blood sugar), much of which we derive from carbohydrate-rich foods. When we eat a bagel or a bunch of grapes, for example, the glucose levels in our blood rise, and the pancreas secretes insulin to turn glucose into an energy source, moving it from the blood into our cells.

But the body only evolved to store enough glucose to last a couple of days. So if we forgo eating carbs, it finds other ways to keep going.

One of those ways is a process called ketogenesis. In ketogenesis, the liver starts to break down fat — both from food and from the reserves stored in our fat tissue — into a usable energy source called ketone bodies, or ketones for short. Ketones can stand in for glucose as fuel when there’s a glucose shortage. Once ketogenesis kicks in and ketone levels go up, the body is in ketosis and burning fat instead of the usual glucose. (Whether this actually leads to increased calorie burn or fat loss is a matter of scientific debate.)

There are a couple of avenues into ketosis. One is through fasting: When you stop eating altogether for an extended period of time, the body will ramp up fat burning for fuel and decrease its use of glucose (which is part of the reason people can survive for as long as 73 days without food).

Another way to reach it is by making your body think it’s fasting — by eating only about 20 to 50 grams of total carbs per day. At the low end, that’s equivalent to a slice of bread or a small potato.

People on a keto diet generally aim to get about 5 percent of their calories from carbohydrates in foods such as berries and salad, about 15 percent from proteins like salmon and sardines, and 80 percent from fats including coconut oil and avocado. And ketosis is a quantifiable state. Dieters can measure their ketone levels with blood tests, breathalyzers, and urine strips (with varying degrees of accuracy — blood tests are considered the gold standard for now).

This data-driven aspect is part of what appealed to Ethan Weiss, a University of California San Francisco professor of cardiovascular research. Initially, he was skeptical when he was invited to consult for Virta Health, a company selling lifestyle counseling on ketogenic diets for Type 2 diabetics. A second-generation cardiologist, he says his family had “nothing that resembled fat in the house” when he was growing up.

The more he learned about keto, however, the more intrigued he became. He says he was excited by “the idea that we can give [patients] an option that’s going to get them off medication reliably. The only other intervention that’s done that was bariatric surgery,” he says.

Eventually, Weiss co-developed a breath sensor, called Keyto, to help people track how their diet affects their ketone levels. Playing around with the prototype, he realized he’d made the diet a kind of game. “I was trying to see if I could get my ketone levels to go up. And because I’m naturally competitive and like games, I got obsessed.”

Within two months, he dropped nearly 16 pounds he hadn’t intended to lose and saw his blood sugar levels, which had been high, normalize.

Still, he concedes there’s a lot we don’t know about the effects of the diet. “There are two questions: Is it safe to be in ketosis long-term? And is there something else about this diet that’s potentially dangerous or harmful long-term? We can’t really answer either one in a rigorous way today,” he says.

One concern is that some people on keto will see their cholesterol levels increase, which is linked with a heightened risk of heart disease. In a recent op-ed criticizing low-carb evangelists for their “cheerleading,” Weiss wrote of the cholesterol problem: “It’s a classic issue of balancing benefits and risks, one complicated because it isn’t clear if, how much, or in whom an increase in cholesterol even matters. That’s why there is general consensus that rigorous clinical trials are needed to answer this critical question.”

Other doctors, writing in JAMA Internal Medicine, list “keto flu,” cardiac arrhythmias, constipation, and vitamin and mineral deficiencies among keto’s documented side effects in the pediatric scientific literature. But the diet’s greatest risk, they write, may be the opportunity cost of not eating enough high-fiber, unrefined carbohydrates.

I ask Weiss why he’s so excited about keto, even willing to promote it, given those risks, and the fact that sustained weight loss on keto doesn’t look all that different from other diets. “[We] can’t let perfect be the enemy of great,” he answers. “That is, what we are doing now sucks.”

The frontiers of keto science

Oncologists are also looking past keto’s big unknowns and exploring the potential benefits of the diet as part of cancer therapy. While they warn that it’s far too early to prescribe the diet for any specific cancer type, they’re excited about the possibilities.

For a study published in 2018 in Nature, Mukherjee and his co-authors tested whether PI3-kinase inhibitors — a class of drug used to treat cancers, which has the side effect of driving up blood sugar and insulin levels — would perform better in mice when they also ate a keto diet or took a drug that suppressed insulin levels. The idea they wanted to test, Mukherjee explained on Weiss’s keto podcast, was: What if “the drug causes a physiological side effect — high sugar, high insulin — and that high insulin is now what is bringing the tumors alive again … like a malignant circuit.”

In the study, the combination of the drug and the diet shrank 12 types of tumors in mice — even pancreatic cancer, which is very difficult to treat in humans. But keto caused the leukemia to worsen, meaning researchers still need to work out where the diet is helpful and where it’s harmful.

Marcus DaSilva Goncalves, a co-author on the study and endocrinologist at New York’s Weill Cornell Medicine, says we’ll learn more from a human trial, scheduled to start later this year, that will build on the mouse research.

For now, it’s way too early to know whether this research will translate to humans, despite all the YouTube videos and blogs suggesting that sugar “feeds” cancer. “We are in the Stone Age of understanding which diet is best for each type of cancer site,” Goncalves said.

He’s also concerned about heart health. “We don’t know what it’s doing to cardiovascular risk factors. But cancer’s unique — people are willing to accept a more hazardous condition in order to cure the cancer.”

Much better-established are keto’s effects on epilepsy. For nearly a century, doctors have been prescribing the diet to treat epilepsy, an idea that came about in the 1920s, when researchers observed that people who fasted experienced fewer seizures. Researchers still aren’t sure why the diet can work, but a few mechanisms have been proposed, including making neurons more resilient during seizures. And today, studies have shown that children and adults whose epilepsy doesn’t respond to medications seem to experience a pretty large reduction in seizures when following a ketogenic diet.

That doesn’t, however, mean that the diet works for other conditions. There are still many questions about even the most talked-about keto applications, such as keto for Type 2 diabetes. While researchers have found the diet can reduce people’s hemoglobin A1C (a measure of blood sugar) and their reliance on medication, the effects tend to wane after one year.

Virta Health, the keto counseling company Weiss consults for, recently published data from a two-year evaluation of the Virta program. Through telemedicine, Virta’s clients get nutrition support and health coaching about how to prepare low-carb foods and stick to the diet. In the trial, people’s A1C and weight crept up between one and two years — but 38 percent saw their diabetes reverse and 15 percent were in remission. “Those results are dramatically better than anything else anybody’s published at two years with diet or lifestyle regimen,” Steve Phinney, a founder of Virta who has been studying (and living on) keto for decades, says.

Skeptics, such as the cardiologists turned diet gurus Dean Ornish and Joel Kahn, argue that keto’s potential heart risks are too great. Others note that it’s not clear whether it’s the keto diet itself or the weight loss it can induce that helps control Type 2 diabetes.

To begin to answer the latter question, Phinney and his colleagues ran a study that cycled 16 patients through a low-carb (keto), moderate-carb, and high-carb diet during four-week periods, with two-week reset periods in between. During the diet, the participants were fed enough to keep their weight stable. At the start of the trial, they all met diagnostic criteria for metabolic syndrome, a constellation of conditions — excess fat in the abdominal area, high blood sugar, low HDL (or “good”) cholesterol, and high blood pressure — that are linked to an increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and Type 2 diabetes.

The results were just published in the journal JCI Insight. After one month on the high-carb diet, one of the 16 people no longer met the criteria for metabolic syndrome. On the moderate-carb diet, three of the 16 reversed their metabolic syndrome. On keto, that number rose to nine out of 16. This suggests that it’s carbohydrate restriction, not weight loss, that helps control metabolic syndrome, including high blood sugar.

The study will have to be replicated. It’s also worth noting the high-carb group ate a lower-quality diet (with foods such as marshmallow fluff and barbecue sauce) while the lower-carb groups stuck to whole foods, which could have muddied the results. And it was funded by a grant from Dairy Management Inc. and the Dutch Dairy Association, and co-authored by researchers with a financial stake in showing keto’s benefits.

But Phinney believes the work is nothing short of revolutionary. “A guy named Thomas Kuhn pointed out that scientific revolutions don’t happen overnight, they happen over time,” he says. “We’re using a non-pharmaceutical, very powerful tool to hopefully halt and turn back an epidemic that is threatening our ability to provide health care because it’s such a dramatically expensive disease.”

And there are other ways the diet may be used. Researchers are currently exploring the benefits of keto for Type 1 diabetes. There’s preliminary research suggesting an ultra-low-carb diet could have a role in treating neurodegenerative diseases, like Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. A lot of the brain research, however, was done in mice or cells, so we still need evidence of human response. When we have better studies, keto might look as ineffectual as gluten-free — or maybe it’ll be the diet miracle we’ve been hoping for. That is, if we can stick to it.

CREDITS Editor: Eliza Barclay Visuals editor: Kainaz Amaria Designers: Amanda Northrop and Christina Animashaun Copy editors: Tanya Pai and Tim Williams Cover designer and graphics: Javier Zarracina Photographer: Scott Suchman for Vox Food stylist: Lisa Cherkasky for Vox

Source link Keto Diet Diabetes

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Deconstructing Dieter Bravo

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist I did a Deconstructing Dieter Bravo series for Destiny & Deliverance, so I thought it might be fun to continue that tradition with Closed Position since this Dieter does have some interesting things going on that we can delve deeper into.

I had several people comment/dm me about two things after the first chapter that I think would be fun to discuss further. Those were of course, Dieter’s plant hobby and the fluffy menace hanging around his house.

To most, these two things may seem very random and unrelated. However, they really aren’t. They do serve a bigger purpose to the story…because of course they do. When do I ever not have deeper meaning behind something, right? 😏

Plant Dad Dieter

First, I have included some more Dieter aesthetic pictures above that I had saved. It's a whole ✨vibe✨. Second, I must thank @readingiskeepingmegoing for coming up with the new #PlantDadDieter hashtag… because it’s so on point. I’m totally going with it! 💜

On to the good stuff...what have we learned about Dieter after the first installment? I think we can safely identify three things: he spends a lot of time alone, he feels misunderstood, and he doesn’t appear to have any deep or meaningful relationships. This will be a theme that comes up a lot with him, especially starting in Week 2 when we open with him having a chat with his therapist.

How does this relate to plants, you ask? Let’s start with Dieter’s history…the man has never had a real relationship. He’s never connected with anyone, whether that be friend or significant other. He was a party boy that indulged in the physical pleasures of life while avoiding any real intimacy. Most of his relationships were based on sex and favors. We will worry about why he is this way later, but for now, just know that’s where he's at emotionally.

Dieter has never really had a bond with anyone or anything. Now that he is sober and realizing how alone he is, he’s seeking that connection any way he can and doesn’t even really realize it (yet).

Sure, being a plantsman does have perks as it is relaxing and can have a positive impact on one’s mental health. However, it’s causing Dieter to learn how to care about something - how to be selfless and nurturing with his time. He has to put in a lot of effort to keep everything alive and healthy and he quickly realizes that putting in that time and energy makes him happy. Also, the plants don't judge him or his past.

Now, for some fun stuff because some of you asked…

Does Dieter talk to his plants? He 100% talks to the plants. He doesn’t know if it actually does anything, but he figures it can’t hurt to try. It also helps him feel less alone as he does see them as living things. They do breathe, eat, and drink after all.

Does Dieter name his plants? I’m inclined to say that he names his favorites. All the others just have random nicknames that change based on their appearance. Like...the "thirsty dramatic bitch" that gets weepy and needs to be watered and turned in the sunlight daily.

Dieter’s Furry Squatter

And let the collective aww's be heard! 🤭

So, I pulled a few pics from Pinterest of what I envision Dieter's furry little visitor looks like. I see it as an adorably fluffy young Maine Coon kitty.

👉 Fun Fact: "The name 'Maine Coon' was adopted after the state of the breed's origin, Maine, and after the early belief that the cat was in fact the result of crossing between domestic breeds and raccoons." (from VioVet)

Funny story, I did not know that fact before choosing this breed. It looks like it was mean-to-be for our loveable trash panda. 😂

Now, I am sure you're asking; how does the cat relate to the plants? The cat serves the same purpose when we think about Dieter's relationships...or lack thereof.

Again, Dieter is craving companionship. He is still reluctant, but this little nugget will eventually become a loving companion for him. It's another avenue for him to create an emotional connection with something. He will learn how to care for the kitty and build a bond. Though the little menace can be a bit sassy, like the plants, it also doesn't judge Dieter by his past. What do you think Dieter should name it? I'm taking suggestions in the comments. 😉

In an odd way, the plants and cat do help Dieter grow as a person. It's baby steps in his personal growth journey. Honestly, as Katrina gets to know Dieter on a more personal level, these are two things that she absolutely loves about him, mostly because it's two things that are unexpected and show what a sweetheart he really is. She sees the good in him even if he can't see it himself.

That's it for your little extra bit of insight...until next time.

💜Mysty

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble.

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo.

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, alcohol abuse, and drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

Closed Position Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap

*If your blog name is marked out, it would not let me tag you. You will need to change your visibility settings for that to work going forward.

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #dancing dieter #plant dad dieter #closed position extra #closed position series

[meltcalories]

The Paleo Diet: How To Make The Most Of It

Are you eating paleo? Are close friends or family members eating paleo? Not sure what the paleo diet plan is?

I am visiting cover the entire 'genealogical eating' motion with exactly what it's all about, just how it could be tough to eat an exact paleo diet regimen yet reveal just what advantages might come from selecting this style of eating.

THE PALEO DIET IN A NUTSHELL

The word 'paleo' originates from the Greek adjective palaios implying older. Which exactly what the paleo diet is, an extremely, extremely old diet.

The paleo diet plan or genealogical consuming is merely consuming a diet regimen that our paleolithic forefathers would certainly have consumed from 2.5 million years ago up till about 10-12000 years ago or prior to the farming age started, approximately around the time Larry King started high school.

That means essentially no grains, rice or dairy.

Archeologists will certainly report that at the intro of grains right into the diet plan the human species began to decline. Our foods have actually altered but our bodies have remained genetically the exact same. Review a lot more on the impacts of wheat and also gluten here

The fossil document reveals the modifications in between the paleolithic population and the agricultural populaces: Elevation altered, Bone density changed, tooth enamel began to damage down, also a rapid reduction in typical brain size and loss of brain volume. Along with this is the truth that agriculture led to established areas enabled for much easier spreading of disease

Simply placed individuals were no much longer eating exactly what was part of their all-natural ecosystem.

The paleo motion has actually sprung up rather lately with a whole lot of the attention coming from Loren Cordain and also his book The Paleo diet plan. An earlier publication from 1984 called "Paleopathology at the origins of farming' by George Armelagos and also M.N Cohen got the round rolling.

More debatable at the time, the book looked at even more compared to 20 researches to describe a rise in declining health and wellness as well as dietary diseases as societies changed from foraging to agriculture

According to this research no issue where it is was in the globe as well as regardless of the kind of plant, around 10,000 years ago when populations started turning to agriculture their height and wellness began to decline

MODERN FOOD

This age of farming has actually lasted up till just 100-200 years ago or so to the industrial transformation. The advent of machinery as well as handling has actually presented us to foods and also items that have actually never existed before.

But these "brand-new" products of state your grandparents age, would nearly be considered superfoods as compared to what we have today.

Populations of 7000 years back would certainly not have the foods of our grandparents and wonderful grand moms and dads such as junk foods, crisco or improved sugars. As well as our grandparents were not subjected to things like high fructose corn syrup, aspartame of trans fats like you as well as I are today.

You can see exactly how there has been a slow-moving decline gradually as the high quality of our nutrition decline as well as then it takes a quick plummet down entering into the late 1800s as well as very early 1900's then plunges like a rock right into the mid late 20th century.

We are plainly eating foods today that your wonderful grand moms and dads not to mention our ancient forefathers would never ever have actually been revealed to. We are no more eating the foods we discover in our ecosystem, mainly due to the fact that we have absolutely transformed our ecosystems.

When we put an animal into a zoo like a zebra, we don't load its cage with pop tarts, twinkies or oreos. We include the same things it would locate in its all-natural habitat.

This is exactly what has actually happened to us, we are no more consuming the things that our ancestors would have found themselves surrounded with. This would be largely animal proteins, veggies and fruits and things like nuts as well as seeds

TOXINS IN OUR LIVES (NOT SIMPLY THE KARDASHIANS ...)

As I stated before our paleolithic forefathers would not also recognize what to consider the things we are revealed to today not to mention our excellent grandparents. Simply in the last 50-60 years take a look at a few of the important things you and also I are being revealed to:

Pesticides

MSG

Excitotoxins

Gluten

Artificial sweeteners

depleted soils

pollutants

Toxic halogens

Heavy metal toxicity

microwaved food

Irradiated food

24 hour “daylight”

Chronic 24/7 stress

This is merely damaging the surface. The factor is just how worldwide can we anticipate to be healthy with all these contaminants pestering us on a daily basis?

The one thing we could do is take control of our diet regimen and not eat modern-day, refined, packaged foods. At the same time when we begin integrating in fresh, natural veggies we aid furnish our body to begin to remove toxins. The fresh healthy food allows organs like the liver as well as kidneys to operate more effectively so it could start to manage the mess of toxins we are all subjected to.

Based on your location and also conditions there might not be a lot you can do regarding ecological worries. A great deal of us live in major cities so things like pollution and auto tires etc are a part of everyday life.

Where we can take back control is choosing to eat those things that benefit us as opposed to just disposing even more toxins into a possibly harmful body.

This is what the paleo activity is. It is focusing your diet regimen around meats, veggies, fruits as well as nuts and also seeds. The foods are ancestors would certainly have found themselves bordered by and also not Cheetos, Oreos and Dr. Pepper.

  ARE WE STILL AROUND THESE TRUE PALEO FOODS?

All niche communities can have their holier compared to thou types: vegetarians, vegans, Apple vs Android, also the macrame area ... They often tend to turn nose up at others that may not comply with exactly just what they are complying with.

Here's where the paleo motion gets a bit muddled-

A majority of the fresh, natural food we have today merely really did not exist in paleolithic times.

Take for example bananas. Bananas are technically huge natural herbs as opposed to trees. All contemporary edible bananas are intermixed from the varieties musa acuminata and also M.balbisiana. And they have been intermixed often times over numerous thousand years.

Their origins come from Southeast Asia as well as very early wild forms have been noted from nearly 14,000 years ago These very early types of bananas were smaller, much more coarse therefore complete of seeds the majority of people today would find them inedible as compared to our big, intense yellow, pleasant and virtually seedless types.

Natural hybridization has actually taken place for countless years as humans have actually boosted the characteristics they desire in specific foods while eliminating the ones they don't to prefer sweeter and also fattier variations.

The point is the bananas we are eating today are nothing like just what our forefathers would have consumed.

The same way we have bred a selection of dogs out of a solitary types so it takes place with food. An instance being Brassica Oleracea: From this selection we have cultivated

Kale

cabbage

broccoli

cauliflower

brussel sprouts

None of these plants had ever before existed and in eating all them thinking we are obtaining a range we are essentially consuming the same species.

Some other examples:

Tomatoes made use of to be tiny berries

corn was an old, straggly grass called teosinte

paleolithic fruit would certainly be smaller, harder, quite sharp as well as bitter

ancient apples would have been more just like crabapples

root plants such as carrots or potatoes were dense, thick and also starchy substances practically inedible

These are simply a few examples. The point exists are a broad selection of plants that have just existed in our modern-day era.

WHERES THE BEEF??

As of 2010 the world's most consumed meat was goat.

70% of the world consumes it and its is consumed by all cultures and also religions. I had the possibility to consume it for 3 days when I hung around on a ranches in the Australian outback and need to claim it was a lot far better than I had anticipated. (the weapon had spaces and also was used to frighten dingos that would certainly attempt to attack the goats. Yes REAL dingos!)

But for most individuals the ordinary taken in meat is possibly beef. As well as often tends to be the cornerstone of the paleo diet.

All kinds are accepted, hamburger, steaks, roasts you call it.

The issue is the contemporary cow is an animal that never existed in paleo times. The ancient forefather of the cow is the Auroch descended from the Bos acutifrons.

More bull like with longer, outside facing horns, the Auroch dates back to around 2 million years ago and also made it through to fairly just recently when they went extinct in the early 17th century.

Compared to modern cows the Auroch was vastly different with longer legs, a larger head and also a much leaner and also nearly athletic kind body.

Another staple of the paleolithic diet plan would certainly be the Gnu or Wildebeest, which you would observe in the ancient cave paintings

WASTE NOT WANT NOT

The concern with eating the contemporary cow or other sources of meat is that paleo dieters are not taking the same technique that their ancestors did. Paleolithic individuals would have been eating nose to tail. Today our usage of meat is restricted to the muscle meats such as steaks, roasts, ribs, hamburger etc.

There is an entire great deal more to pets that is not being made usage of such as body organ meats, cartilage, brain and more. Organ meats would certainly have been a valuable nourishment resource to paleolithic cultures as they include high amounts of vitamins particularly the liver which has a wealth of vitamin A, B vitamins, Folic acid and also iron. It is additionally the number 1 food source for copper and also contains Coenzyme Q10.

Our ancestors would have likewise utilized the kidneys, heart, tongue, minds, intestinal tracts as well as belly lining (likewise called tripe).

Even the aboriginal populaces of North The U.S.A. are recognized to not lose any kind of component of the buffalo that they hunted. Clearly few individuals today are capitalizing on all that animals need to offer.

Organ meat will constantly outshine muscular tissue meat for nutrient content.

Here is an extremely thorough nutrition analysis of beef liver vs chuck.

One entire various other problem is that of grass fed pets. Our contemporary hormone treated, barnyard confinement pets are creating beef that is tough to even identify as beef. Particularly with ground beef, it is much more like fat disguised as beef.

If you're not taking in turf fed as well as finished meats you are actually not consuming the purest type of that animal. The grass fed problem is an entire discussion it itself to be dedicated to in its own blog.

GEOGRAPHICAL ISSUES

A regular paleo dish might include a selection of ingredients that have origins in all edges of the globe.

A hunter/gatherer in Western Europe would not have had accessibility to avocados from Mexico as well as Central America, pineapple from South America, almonds from the Middle East or blueberries from North America.

These foods can all be a part of a paleo friendly diet plan yet are just available today due to modern market and transport. Each region of the world would clearly just be able to consume the regional foods. Eating these vast array of around the world products can not be a true paleo diet.

ICE ICE BABY

The last antarctic duration or glacial epoch ended up around 12,000 years earlier. During this time there would certainly have been little plant life available and also most of the diet would certainly have needed to focus around pet protein

This is all about where you stayed in the world as the bulk of the last ice age covered The United States and Canada and Eurasia. If you were an individual living because area throughout this time duration your diet was visiting be substantially different compared to locations in the Southern Hemisphere.

This glacial period diet regimen is still being carried out today by contemporary Inuits that live in climates quite a lot without fauna and depend on pet healthy protein as well as fat for most of their nutrition.

WHAT REALLY MAKES THE PALEO DIET PLAN BENEFICIAL

I am not desiring in any way to dismiss the paleo diet however just wish to explain what people are actually undertaking is much more properly called "Modern Paleo” or even

“New Age Paleo" if you wish to go that far.

It's not completely just what this diet does consist of but what it DOES NOT contain.

The paleo diet concentrates on getting rid of all modern foods. Foods that have caused a wonderful downfall in our modern society causing contemporary diseases.

In the paleo diet regimen there are no refined flours, breads or cakes. There is no potentially hormone and antibiotic filled up dairy products. No transfats, chemical sweeteners or high fructose corn syrup.

It introduces foods a lot more acquainted to our body as well as eliminates those that our body does not acknowledge as well as I am done in support of that. This is the method I decide to eat as I have actually found it to enhance power as well as things like emphasis and also focus. I will add in a little dairy products periodically and also will certainly include a little more starchy carb through pleasant potatoes and yams depending upon how active I will be.

WRAPPING IT ALL UP

So you may decide to handle a contemporary paleo diet plan, or even copulate to eat food discovered only in your straight area that you locate at farmers markets etc.

The reality is whichever means you go with it you are taking a look at introducing some great changes into your way of life by eliminating all the damaging modern-day food that has actually caused us actual heartache and also strife.

Keep feeding your body the food it was designed to eat as well as cut out the food that had to be designed.

And yes do not hesitate to tweet that!

If you intend to get going I desire to make you knowledgeable about the best resource online for the paleo diet plan. My close friends at PaleoPlan.com have an impressive source that I as well as a whole lot of other individuals recruit. They provide regular dishes and purchasing checklists for scrumptious paleo dishes appropriate to your inbox.

To me this is an invaluable solution that takes the hunch job out of what should compose each dishes, exactly what you should buy and also it offers you a break in something all individuals stress over weekly: what am I going to eat..

With the paleo strategy you understand you will be getting genuine whole foods as the dishes are designed to be devoid of handling, gluten, milk, refined sugars and also chemical loaded ingredients detrimental to your health. They're even supplying you a cost-free 2 Week trial

I extremely suggest examining it out 14-day complimentary trial at PaleoPlan.com

So do you paleo? Just how have you discovered it? Comment below

P. s that was the very first person who went up as well as attempted to milk an auroch?? Could they rest in peace ...

#health #health and wellness #wellness

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The Consumerist Xmas Plant (Meir Workshops & Assortment Details).

YOU may be among 5 privileged supporters to win two anti-aging products coming from MD Full, a collection of natural skin care items made through a skin specialist to deliver every person with physician-quality skin care products. As well as a research study that was done on folks and also posted in the publication Hunger presents that females that included three small apples (overall calorie cost: 200) to their diet every day dropped a little bit over two extra pounds in 10 weeks-- over dieters which performed not consist of the fruit product in their diet plan. In 2004, Synovial Sarcoma professed a 17-year-old Danielle's foot alongside a lifestyle loaded with reasonable football and also managing. The preliminary reaction off trains and professional athletes has been extremely positive along with most of all of them currently devoting to sport-specific training services. Under-eye circles are filled, the appeal of dewlaps may be diminished, and jowl fullness may be repaired. I was going to produce a tip of my own, however I adore Jayne's Meet & Veggies" excessive to suggest just about anything else. Unknown Artist" style="max-width:410px;float:left;padding:10px 10px 10px 0px;border:0px;">Sportsmens Company tee shirts manage a little longer in comparison to. the ordinary tee shirt to accommodate that additional typical athlete body build and the material as well as cut was hand decided on by numerous pro professional athletes as their fit and feeling from choice prior to our company decided on the t shirts that our company make use of. This can possess also been the Coke and also Hill Condensation, which I had never ever attempted in training yet that I eventually concerned recognize why ultrarunners love a lot. Whether you possess an overnight attendee which you want to blow away in the morning or a new close friend which you wish to learn more about a bit extra ... intimately, Appetite For Temptation is the excellent location to invest a Saturday mid-day. And even if tea isn't your drink, you may mixture entire fallen leaves into your healthy smoothie in order to get much more perks than you will coming from soaking them (as well as a little bit of a coffee boost!). Throughout the 90's, training facilities will collect their pre- and also post-test sportsmen records and deliver that on drooping disks to Fargo for association.

Greetings Kelli, I marvel that a massage therapist would be involved in Crossfit viewing as their mistaken technique of training leads to consistent rotator belt as well as other joint personal injuries which implies the physio therapists adore Crossfit muscleups & pullups with heavy vests" due to the fact that it gives them a constant revenue stream coming from repairing the damage resulted in. Through participating in this one-of-a-kind event, you help fund challenged athletes flexible devices, mentoring, instruction, competition expenditures and also mentoring. I joined Leo's Total change plan as soon as he opened it this February: the point was actually that members will generate behaviors utilizing the capabilities Leo taught. Coming from No Meat Sportsmen, thanks to Jason Sellers, Plant Restaurant, Asheville, North Carolina. A brand new athlete in this system will definitely look at a full week of hypertrophy to create a bottom durability as well as progression to their strength and electrical power stages. But for me, the policies I eat through typically aren't just because of ethical guidelines as well as the policies that come from those concept; I right now don't also picture pork as meals, and also the thought and feelings from eating chicken makes me a little bit upset (and also I made use of to really love pork). If you are you looking for more on please click the following post stop by the site. This must be actually a great debut as well as we will adore to observe you fellas there certainly for a social day evening! Under our multi-month subscriptions, professional athletes have the ability to book classes that match ideal along with their routine. I imply real meaning/value not considering that I should or shouldn't." You make it feel like an objective to change your lifestyle. I bought his manuals due to the fact that he is actually an endurance athlete and also I needed to know his tips. Their individualized strategy to every professional athlete's progression has helped gamers removal off the bench to the starting selection, coming from freshman to university teams, coming from pick programs to university teams, and also right now coming from an advancement system to elite professional athletes. Creating a motor vehicle for offering (a foundation, donor-advised fund, and so on) is except everybody, and there are viable substitutes for an athlete to think about. Based on the results our experts suggest a diversified understanding of chicken alternative as well as we define four policy-relevant process for a shift to an even more plant-based diet, including a small change in the direction of even more health-conscious vegetarian meals, a process that takes advantage of the trend to convenience, a process from reduced portion dimension, and practice-oriented improvement towards vegan meals. Setting up a yearly service strategy as well as functioning finances are actually crucial devices for gauging essential efficiency red flags (proportion of rental fee to profits, typical sportsmens each trainer session, list building and also arrangement sale, professional athletes each open hour to meet break-even intended, etc.) and also monetary role. Nevertheless, our company do call for that you agree to speak with an employee just before and also after each see to guarantee a fantastic experience for you and the professional athlete. Thus when Matt and I started considering the new No Meat Professional athlete Cookbook, for which I composed most of the recipes, our team stipulated to consist of many dressing dishes. Endurance sportsmens use protein for maintaining cardio metabolism as well as cells repair. For the past 15 years LOA has taken a trip the nation updating moms and dads, coaches, supervisors and also trainee athletes on way of living selections as well as their impact on physical as well as mental performance. Considering that being actually a sportsmen is actually a deep component of a person's identification as well as taking away the capacity to execute could be quite daunting for athletes both physically and psychologically.

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One more time With Really feeling.

After checking out a LOTS OF diet regimen publications the other day at Borders, I've pertained to the conclusion that I have sufficient knowledge to create my very own meal program. Below's exactly what you'll must create a serving from Matcha Bubble Dairy Herbal tea (my preferred flavor) for 150 fats and this only costs $1.67! This is actually all they pointed out regarding the low-calorie diet: Participants in the low-calorie diet regimen team were actually given appropriate guidelines and a sample low-calorie diet plan food selection of 2200 fats is presented in Dining table 1" (this is actually common and also practical). Thanks for Diet plan PHYSICIAN and all your info as well as training by means of a lot of researchers and also authors to help lead the method. Daily excersize and also appropriate meals consumption is actually the secret for preserving & repairing healthiness. Diet-to-Go meals are actually ready clean everyday as well as are a wonderful fit for any person aiming to burn fat or even keep a healthy way of living. You don't need the items to lose weight- when i left them, i continued to burn fat, I was actually as soon as 263, came to 150, had yet another child obtained 75 extra pounds after on Yaz, took me 3 years however I am actually right now 106 pounds! Effectively, it is actually more or less the exact same concern that has an effect on those jumping to a low-fat or even low-carb diet. If it is actually certainly not excessive problem, I'll track my food consumption at and share the nutritional analysis weekly. Therefore in the 60s what took place ... therefore Keys acquires involved and after that in the 1960s the American Heart Affiliation gets entailed and also starts transmitting the suggestion that fat deposits sources heart disease and what you must do is actually consume a diet that is actually slim, with healthy chicken, you take the skin layer off the chicken and also you buy slim cuts of pork, if everything, and then the staple from the diet ought to coincide foods that our moms and dads constantly felt were fattening; white potatos, rice, pasta, bagels. For many individuals this sufficients to stay away off sweets, enabling weight-loss, type 2 diabetes turnaround and also other health and wellness advantages. A simple green smoothie dish is the perfect technique to obtain your regular dosage from nutrient-dense entire vegetables and fruits in an easy-to-drink treat while keeping the benefits of naturally-occurring as well as craving-curbing plant-fiber to maintain you believing total and also satiated after this light meal. The only medical studies which carried out present fat burning were financed by the supplier, which could be likely swayed. Some individuals must maintain the carbs extremely reduced for maximum effect - a stringent low-carb diet plan. Restorative Way of living Adjustments, or TLC, is actually a really solid diet regimen program produced by National Institutes from Health. Usage good sense here-if malnourishment mode" caused a NOTABLE reduction in BMR then bariatric surgical operation would not operate. Like any kind of diet, private outcomes will differ as well as dieters should consult their medical doctor prior to starting this or any kind of diet regimen strategy. check my blog lost the weight and also prepared for the component by means of fat loss company Everything about Body weight, who winning formula consists of individual mentoring and support off a neighborhood expert that had likewise been actually overweight. Lots of people have said, I am actually going to reduce weight through only cutting down on food intake." I don't possess clinical data to support it up, yet I would certainly bet that a food items diary works a lot better. She has an expert's degree in nutrition and food items scientific researches, along with an emphasis in weight control. I am actually 140lbs (5' 7) as well as I've goned on this diet plan for 5 times and I could presently see great outcomes! There is no documentation that low-carbohydrate diet regimens that restrict grain consumptions offer long-lasting conveniences for continual fat loss. And when you have a well-controlled, adequately huge volume of ketones in your blood stream, this's essentially evidence that your blood insulin is incredibly low - as well as as a result, that you are actually appreciating the maximum effect from your low-carbohydrate diet. Our team likewise desire to give our area the resources to lose fat in a healthy and balanced manner in which has helped many people. I don't feel hungry, my sugar as well as starchy food cravings have completley disappeared and also i am actually feeling really alive and also certainly not exhausted and also drained as i performed. I completely coincide the comment in the article regarding meals being actually enjoyable and a social experience. For those wanting to stay healthy and in shape, while creating muscular tissue and also remaining healthy, at that point continue going through about what the study says when this comes to a health and nutrition planning that matches your training. The factor the Common distributor only creates 7,000 a year is actually given that the normal individual performs certainly not have the moment or even the travel to end up being a permanent Herbalife Rep and also function their technique up the advertising and marketing program. When held her spine off her aspirations of becoming a starlet (certainly not any longer!), her weight Appreciate journal-style messages and also lots as well as lots of recipes. You could absolutely hang out in Induction much longer in comparison to two weeks if you have a great deal of weight to shed, yet don't receive caught there certainly. Which doesn't indicate that you're diet plan must be actually Spartan, certainly never possessing any sugary foods, sweets or even dessert, but also for the absolute most part you should be consuming effectively. When you look in the mirror and are actually pleased along with what you find is actually where your target weight is! Along with brittle bones, that certainly is a genuine worry about low carbohydrate diets, and one of the factors is actually that low carbohydrate diet regimens really recommend not having any sort of milk whatsoever, and also dairy is probably one of the very best sources of calcium mineral in our diet regimen. LDL cholesterol decrease was significantly greater on the HP diet (5.7%) in comparison to on the LP diet (2.7%). You could recognize Lisa off her tv program, Hungry Woman on each the Meals System and also Preparing food Network. Individuals that lose weight via simple weight-loss diets usually gain the body weight back soon after and add much more extra pounds, which eventually brings about yo-yo diet programs. Diet plans that declare they work" then, considering that they are called for by law to do thus, include the small print that, truly, they don't (outcomes not normal translated at last). Tara, do not pass weight, pass size, frequently when you begin exercising you do look at a time period where you begin to construct muscular tissue and is going to have a few months, in the course of this time around just before you begin to see a modification, the AMOUNTS on the scale are actually certainly not entirely exact due to the fact that while 10 pounds of fat deposits as well as ten extra pounds from muscle mass body weight the very same, they are certainly not the same size.

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The best ways to Throw A Dinner Dinner Party.

One of my dearest pals regularly inquires me for concepts for rapid and also simple main courses. For a supper that I can in fact consume, I walked adjacent for a Large Macintosh dish and supersized the french fries. Particularly, it takes a look at Spurlock's movie Super Size Me as well as points out the methods he utilizes to provoke a dialogue about convenience food. It can easily take the edge off and your supper are going to go a lot smoother and quicker and also neither from you will definitely leave in a negative mood given that you have one thing to anticipate. Dinner recipes along with healthy worth likewise offer our team the endurance as well as energy that our experts need to plan for the next early morning. If in case you feel inadequate to the duty, you may always seek tips coming from the workers accountable from your dinner cruise. Adhering to the cattle writtening and eventually exactly what I have actually been actually expecting the whole night - the real crackling cattle herder and cowgirl steak dinner. In regions where dinner is the lunchtime food the large 'roast meat as well as 4 veg with sauce' Sunday food could be called Sunday lunch. He is actually brilliant, as well as for a one-man business in an old shed, that is actually fantastic the volume of technology kit he needs to deal with all the makes he copes with. I was in Kansas Area just recently and stopped in at a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for dinner. The main point to remember when preparing a Mom's Day dinner for either your personal mama or even your partner, is to think of her as well as merely her. In this instance, I must really deal with a well-balanced food, the rate, and also put that additional pepper, sauce or even cheese back because that simply performed not fit in to this spending plan. You might even try asking your dad, or a few of her pals what they believe would be actually a wonderful location to take her out for a Mother's Time dinner. Typically, these nice blends were a genuine surprise to cover up the bad tastes of terribly created drinks throughout the bars and also nightclubs of the 1920's. The Innkeepers gives a glance at poor commercialism, inadequately qualified workers as well as the American Desire over the final century and just what has occurred to this in the last few years. Once again, there are actually no meticulous rules on this subject - as supper bunch, you should produce this choice for your guests. Maroochy is actually home to a large array of tourist attractions including Marine Planet, The Ginger Manufacturing plant, Super Honey bee, Rainforest Glen Deer Sanctuary, The Big Blueberry and Bli Bli Fortress, all keen to ensure you possess a good time.

Bake the hen when you possess added opportunity; after that you will definitely presently have the remaining meat product to use when you possess less time to prepare a dish. When Crispy is actually placed on the table the scent is just click the next website page alluring even to stringent dieters. Pulling down your partner's first try at cooking dinner really isn't automatically a negative deception, but then again you are actually probably visiting have to suck this down again the upcoming time he attempts to be delightful. For a supper event, there are actually many recipes to pick from and also they rely on the attributes of your event. Sometimes, folks are going to arrive for supper or even lunch time and also say that they 'd rather not obtain the paper napkins grimy considering that they are actually therefore very. Listed here are actually standard as well as traditional suggestions merely to give you an idea of what most people get out of a dinner gathering.

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WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tag @trulybetty! I have no idea how you can work on multiple things at once, but kudos to you for that. I'm jealous of your ability to do it.💜

So, for this Wednesday's update, I bring you a snippet from Week 2 of Closed Position and some fun extras. Enjoy!

As we reached the end of the choreography we had pieced together so far, I glanced toward the hallway windows. Alec was gone.  My eyes met Dieter’s, “Let’s take a water break.” He nodded before pulling the hem of his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his forehead. I couldn’t help the way my eyes raked over his exposed skin. I had to force myself to turn away from him as I drank from my water bottle.   “Alec doesn’t like me, does he?” Dieter asked from behind me before taking a drink of his own water. I casually turned to him, “He’s concerned about your womanizing ways. I guess he’s worried you're gonna steal me away from him or something.”   Dieter smirked, “I mean, I would never do anything you didn’t want me to…” My brows arched in surprise at his words. I absolutely cannot handle him saying shit like that to me. I could already feel the effects of his words and that devilish smirk pulsing between my thighs.

What's that? Do we have flirting? Maaaaaybe. It's mostly Dieter being an unintentional menace...but we’ll take it. Right?

I pretty much have this chapter done (I think). I still have editing to do though. It’s long AF (around 15k words). I’m hoping to post by Friday. 😉

I have a few other gifts to offer. First, head on over HERE to check out this amazing video that @survivingandenduring was kind enough to put together for Closed Position. It's hot and has all the Dieter & Kat ✨vibes✨. I’m still screaming over it!

Second, I have started working on a playlist for Closed Position. I will be adding to it as inspiration strikes. I also plan to add the songs used for Dieter & Kat's performances. Week 2's song is already on the list. Want to take a guess on which song it is?

NPT: @morallyinept @rhoorl @for-a-longlongtime

Closed Position Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @survivingandenduring @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held

*If your name is marked out, that means it wouldn’t let me tag you. ☹️

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #dancing dieter #plant dad dieter #dancing king #wip wednesday #closed position series #closed position teaser #Spotify