#please calm the fuck down

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

good lord it is not being pissy to say that you put a porn post on the dashes of randos and minors, and then called them whiny pissbabies for being really annoyed about it. what the hell is wrong with you?

Well first off, I never said "whiny pissbaby" but you pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one. Let's bring out a screenshot of the original anon message so I can address all of this nonsense at once:

First off, please take a breath. Ranting at strangers on the internet is not a good use of your energy, for real.

Second, you're misconstruing me not wanting the post to get flagged/banned entirely AFTER I had already paid to Blaze it and it had been approved (which is what happened and which I did have to appeal) with me not wanting any community labels at all. It had a Mature label on it when it went out in Blaze, so no minors who were following the rules of the site or adults who had mature content filtered should have seen it.

But instead of asking to clarify that point, you jumped down my fucking throat out of nowhere and then got even pissier when I laughed a little at some rando assuming to haavve all the facts coming into my inbox to chastise me.

Can I offer you a bowl or something, to help you chill the fuck out a little?

#anon asks #angry anons #please calm the fuck down #you say you're not trying to be mean but lemme tell you- you failed at not being rude af #also you're acting like i had my whole pussy out or something it's literally just a funny crushing video where I am fully clothed #get that 'ooooo think of the CHILDREN' siliencing rhetoric the fuck outta here #also there would not be nearly this much bitching about it if I weren't a fat body lol

[thedarkbringer]

Ao3 users will deadass be on their fucking deathbed writing a fic with the most horrendous tags known to fucking man and then it makes H.P Lovecraft quake in his fucking boots

#Ao3 #Please calm the fuck down #This vore fic that I read ironically shouldn't have better writing than harry potter #Stop that

[marisatomay]

cooking baking

#EDIT: you’re all so fucking annoying please go bake bread and calm down #once you know what you’re doing you can break the rules and it feels delicious teehee #spices are the exception to the rule those are vibe based

[eyeexe]

i remember stupid people in the fandom exist and i want to crack my head open on a sharp triangular prism like a coconut

#no the sides are not lambs being personally victimized by everyone around them #and no they’re not master manipulators pushing old people into oncoming traffic #theyre just people #please calm the fuck down

[frenchublog]

#tsom #the sound of music #captain von trapp #georg von trapp #maria von trapp #georg x maria #captain and the governess #pinecone/whistle #my art #please don't repost #chewing on them like squeaky toys #listen. i have a problem #and my problem is christopher plummer and julie andrews #spinning them like rotisserie chickens in my brain #i am going mental #what am i gonna do oh my god #they need to fucking stop #“you don't look like a captain” “you don't look like a nun” hmmmm okay can we calm down #what if i drew them kissing what then

[oatflatwhite]

"merlin has bad cgi" "the characterisation in merlin is bad" "merlin has so many plot holes" shut up. bbc merlin was the perfect show to watch on sunday nights at 6.30pm between the ages of 10 to 14. the girls (gender neutral) who get it get it and the girls (gender neutral) who don't don't.

#liz.txt #merlin #bbc merlin #there are so many fucking tiktok dissertations and deep dives and rewrites like on god calm down please #just like... enjoy the show as it is. it is wonderful.

[lovefrombegonia]

Shen Jiu should make dark jokes about his time as a slave but no one gets the jokes coz everyone thinks he is a spoilt young lord from a noble family.

(Except, Yue Qingyuan. He gets it. He is currently screaming, wailing inside coz sometimes SJ is a bit too detailed JUST to make him feel even MORE guilty.)

#qijiu shenanigans #qijiu #shen jiu #original shen qingqiu #yue qingyuan #svsss crack posts #svsss #can you imagine if yqy gets too frustrated at one if those “jokes” #and he just mutters “its not like my sword was eating me” a bit too loud #deadly silence follows #“WHAT THE FUCK?!” #“Xiao Jiu plz calm down!! You're on the verge of qi deviation!!” *starts panicking* #“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU AND MYSELF!!!” #“Please! Don't kill yourself!” #liu qingge was about to visit zhangmeng shixiong but after hearing all the ruckus from a distance #he thought to himself “Not. Today.” and flew back

[inkskinned]

am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face #but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me #while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning #while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep #and then she was like - ur just like my abuser #bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights #and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child #i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off #like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend #pushed me down in the fucking hallway #but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced #bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster'' #but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE #i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do'' #babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him' #that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED #godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic #i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.

[asimpforthe80s]

Desperate times

[Blurb?]

:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;

Warnings: fingering, humping, eating pussy, names (baby, darling, mommy, eds), cumming in boxers, aftercare, slightly needy Eddie, nap

It had been about a week since Eddie last saw you. A week without sloppy making out and a week without sex. God, it was a nightmare for him.

So, as soon as you entered that damn trailer door, he grabbed you and hurried you into the bedroom. The look in his eyes was desperate and a deep lust.

He was quick with undressing you, ripping some of your clothes in the process. He pressed sloppy kisses along your jaw and down your chest until he reached what he wanted. You didn't feel it, but you knew he was rock hard inside his tight jeans and boxers.

Quickly ripping off your panties, he immediately started lapping at your cunt. Sticking 2 fingers inside your entrance, he thrusted them inside you until he found that one spongey spot inside you.

You arched your back as he repeatedly massaged your g-spot, working quickly to make you cum.

As he massaged your spot, he sucked on your clit and groped your tits. He seemed desperate to taste your cum on his tongue.

Luckily for him, his fingers and tongue were both incredibly skilled at making you feel pure bliss and ecstasy.

Though, this time was different. White filled your vision as you went into a state of bliss. Eddie worked you through your orgasm as you went into subspace.

After a few minutes, you came back to reality and noticed Eddie desperately humping your thigh. "Sorry, baby.. you've just.. been gone for WAY too long." He groaned between subby moans and whimpers.

He groaned and whimpered as he picked up his speed, looking like he wasn't too far away from cumming. You understood that you had been away for longer than you thought, so you let him.

He was just like that sometimes. Switching from a dom to a sub after you've come for him. You were pretty used to it by now. And it was so hot to see, too.

What did surprise you was what happened when he came. "Mommy." He moaned as he came inside his boxers, collapsing on top of you and panting heavily.

You snuggled close to him as he came down from his high. The two of you had missed each other like hell, even though it had just been a week. So you just held him close and made sure he was comfortable.

"Love you.. so, so much, Eds." You said, kissing his cheek and running your hands through his long, messy curls. "Love you too, baby. I was going nuts. You know that, right? I missed you so damn much."

You nodded. "Yeah, I know, darling.. sorry I didn't tell you I was gonna come home so late." You murmured, smiling down at him as he laid his head against your chest. "It's okay. Sorry if I seemed needy. The week without you was hell."

You chuckled. "Yeah, I get it.."

"You don't think I'm weird because I'm so attached, do you?" He asked nervously, hoping he didn't bother you with how needy and clingy he was at times. "Of course not.. I love that you're like that." You smiled, kissing his forehead gently.

"You do?" He seemed shocked by this. It was nice to know that his clingy nature wasn't something you found off-putting. "You really like how clingy and needy I sometimes am?"

You nodded. "I love how clingy and needy you are.. especially after sex.. it just shows that you love me." You said. "So my clingyness is seen more as affection rather than some annoying thing?" He asked, hopeful that that's how it was interpreted as. "Yeah." You confirmed, brushing a strand of hair out of his face.

The thought genuinely made him happy. He was scared that all his love might have been overbearing on you. "You have no idea how happy that makes me." He looked up at you, a giant smile on his face.

You smiled right back at him. "Now.. mind taking a nap? And no, you're not leaving his bed. You're gonna cuddle with me." You said, knowing he'd ask to cuddle you as you slept. "Yes, ma'am." He said, not fighting you at all this time. He had the energy taken out of him from how hard he pleasured you. But it didn't bother him at all this time. He actually felt oddly content being so tired afterward. And you know he was loving every second of this. Being the big spoon for you is one of his favorite things to do.

After a minute of him gently spooning you and holding your hand, you drifted off to sleep. One of the things Eddie knew how to do best was aftercare. And he knew it.

He was so used to aftercare. The two of you had done it dozens and dozens of times. It was a very natural part of the routine that followed the sex.

Eddie stayed awake the whole time, just to make sure you were okay and that you didn't mind his touch. Plus, this was one of his favorite positions that you two took during aftercare: him as the big spoon. And he'd always loved it.

-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;-:;

#i was high when i wrote this #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson things #eddie munson x you #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson please fuck me #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson thots #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie+munson #eddiemunson #eddie my beloved #eddie my love <3 #slight smut #filthy smut #i need to calm the fuck down #holy fucking shit #eddie coded

[gaemms-chamois]

retreating within the first few seconds on a stage and immediately being hit with some depressing failure line.

#YALL DID NOTHING WRONG I JSTU FUCKING FORGOT TO CHANGE A SKILL PLEASE CALM DOWN #arknights #docsona #dr gaemms #arknights justice knight #justice knight #i lov u robo honse #the doodle tag #gaemms art

[tapeworrmart]

COME HOME

#Re did this a bit cuz I HATED it last night. Still wanna draw more simon probs more sketchy things #At ch 7 of cry if fear and I'm so emotional about my boy Simon. That's just a lad!!! #The way he reacts to everything happening around me. The whole forest level??? My god #The fact he breathes fast and gets scared before you even see the enemy fucks me UP like boy calm down please #Relatable tho #Cry of fear #simon henriksson #Cof #Cof simon #Cry of fear simon #fan art #art #sketch #character art #horror #Horror game

[bonefall]

it is healing to come onto this blog and see basic respect for diasbility after being in other corners of the fandom and reading the words “snowkit could never be a warrior because he wouldnt know what anything is. he wouldnt even know what a clan is because nobody could explain it to him” said in full seriousness

Im..... That statement is so ableist I cannot even imagine the worldview you'd need to have in order to come up with that.

They really think the only way anyone learns anything is through verbal-speaking-words-noises? No one has ever observed something before? Not even once?

This is beyond touching grass, this person just fell out of the fucking Jurassic Period when all they had was ferns and stegosaurs.

I just...

OH YES. I remember my first day of Society Lessons as a hearing person, where the everything was explained to me. Via Audiobook. FIRST they spoke and said, "you are standing on the ground." It was a life changing revelation, and the world began to spin.

But it did not stop.

THEN they said, "there are fingers on your hands." The sensation of flesh and bone crackling into existence is indescribable, but I did not yet know pain, until they told me, "that hurts." I began screaming immediately.

And yet... it continued.

They explained so much. Chairs. Tables. Walls. The sky. Frogs. Ionizing radiation. Breathing. I was told all of it, in one sitting, and only then did I understand. Only when my ears were bursting with normal hearing knowledges, did they begin... my final test.

A strange wall-chair-finger emerged from the sky-of-the-wall, stood on the ground several times, until it was in front of me. A second one came behind it, this one slimmer. The audiobook gave these things names;

Human. Father. Mother. Door. Walking. It was completely impossible to know what these things were until that very moment.

I watch a human dip a hook into water and produce a fish, and I recall my Society Lessons where they called that "fishing." I am decked in the face by a nefarious hooligan, and I have only the audiobook to thank when I know I have been "punched" by a "bad guy." It was only the magic of verbal-speaking-words-noise that made me understand that there are "other people" and that they "do stuff."

Sometimes, even, in "groups."

Before the Society Lessons Audiobook, I knew nothing. I was pure, innocent, uncorrupted by concepts such as "parents" and "door." I am grateful every day that there is no such concept as "being shown things" or "simple logical reasoning" or "looking."

Blessed be those amongst us who escape the horrors of the Society Lessons Audiobook. I pray that you never learn what anything is. Be free! Free as a bird, which also knows nothing and famously cannot learn. 🤗

DEAF/HOH FOLLOWERS I'm losing my mind do you want me to bump a 'Hearing Disabilities Herb Guide' to the top of my priorities? Something you can use to bludgeon whackadoodles like that. This is ridiculous

Obviously not a MEDICINE guide but like; common causes of hearing disability in clan cats. Accommodations for hearing loss vs congenital deafness. Actual difficulties of not having that sense Clan-by-Clan. Debunking of misconceptions like... not being able to learn APPARENTLY.

#bone babble #Fennelposting #Obviously the answer is 'theyre incapable of THINKING' but like... they do know snow has a line right #In the book. He figured out. A word. Through observation. #He says 's'all right' because he knows it calms ppl down #He did not need to hear the magic words 'You can make noises at others to influence them' #Like a fucking tutorial tip #Im going to start keeping a JOURNAL of ''times people have been weird about snowkit specifically'' #Ableism #cw ableism #I could also link to the pawspeak thing so it's all in one place #I wrote this last night and put it in the queue and I laid awake thinking of this... #What do they think happens when someone goes to another country where things aren't written/spoken in a language they know? #Do they think they wouldn't be able to figure out anything? Do they think the tourist would just perish #Would they collapse in the streets of Berlin sobbing? #Happened to me. Went to England and they called it a Car Boot Sale instead of a Flea Market and I died to death #AND if I did make that guide please tell me if there's any other weird misconceptions you need to see in it #I know that ONE of them is going to have to be that. like. deaf people make noise. #theyre actually quite loud because they don't know they're making noise #and people with hearing loss do not suddenly forget how to speak. #and people born deaf dont talk like cavemen #cw body horror #tw body horror #EDIT: OOPS sorry I have such an astonishingly tolerance for body horror I did not realize that counted as body horror

[eddiemunsongf]

you mean to tell me theres no epilogue where laura’s a mysterious travelling big game veterinarian/cryptid hunter with one eye and max is her infinitely loyal wise-cracking malewife who turns into a hulking monster once a month? 

#then why am i even playing? #the quarry #laura kearney #max brinly #laura x max #the quarry spoilers #actually fuck a epilogue ill take a spin-off game please #a novelization could do as well #i need them to cause more problems than they solve cause max is always breaking his restraints #i need him to be able to recognize her in wolfmode and just barely hold back from killing her #i need an excessive amount of casual violence to follow them wherever they go #i need wound cleaning!!! hurt/comfort!!! us against the world!!! #sorry ill calm down #im just so enamoured with the idea of like #badass x babygirl (who is sometimes a horrifying monstrosity) #mp

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

For $5 USD stop making everything about that goddamn show for five minutes.

#I'm sorry this is horribly mean of me but I am fucking EXHAUSTED #stop it!!!! fucking stop it!!!! #not everything is about your show! #and no it is actually pretty well-damn-documented that SPN was NOT #'everyone on cast and crew wanted it and the mean network shut them down' #I DID MY TIME #NINE SEASONS OF IT #I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS #and y'know what? y'know what. even IF that were the case. #I don't want to hear it #because this isn't about SPN it was never about SPN stop making! everything! about SPN! #this happening on 911 is not in ANY way shape or form influenced by Supernatural #and again I say this AS A FORMER DESTIEL SHIPPER WHO WATCHED THE SHOW #can you please just let something 911 be about 911? #can we please just talk about that without bringing SPN into it? #I'm tired! I'm so fucking tired! stop it!!! #ahem #*Captain Holt voice* apparently that's a trigger for me #I'm going to write about my silly little koala and his silly little drag queen boyfriend and calm down

[babyleostuff]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK KIM MINGYU ?!?!?!?!

#fuck you for being so JAKXJDKDKSKDK #someone hold me cuz i’m not doing fine rn #please sir calm down #i cannot take this #seventeen #seventeen reactions #svt reactions #seventeen kpop #seventeen carat #mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu svt #mingyu seventeen

[cicicolorao]

Rayman hyperfixation……….. Captain Laserhawk hyperfixation…………. I like drawing the edgelord goofy as hell actually

#captain laserhawk #captain lazerhawk bullfrog #captain lazerhawk rayman #clh #clhabdr #clh ramon #cw sui joke #fully believe Ramon is gonna calm down in season 2 but still have some screws loose #give us a fucking season 2 please #let bullfrog train the next brotherhood #rayman origins and rayman legends have a tasty artstyle yum