#plus i had a really bad day yesterday so i was just overall not feeling great

[daughterofthequeen]

A New Diagnosis

Pairing: Joel Miller x autistic daughter!reader

Summary: I have an idea. Joel Miller x daughter!reader, based in the camps they had everyone in after the outbreak(so a couple days after Sarah’s death technically) and the reader is a high functioning autistic who stims. So when they get to the camp and because of all the stress she has been under, it’s causing her stimming to flare up like crazy. So Joel and Tommy had to beg and plead to the soldiers, trying to let them know she is autistic and she wasn’t infected, that she just can’t control her stims.

Warnings: Angst, crying, cussing, stimming(not really a warning but its in the story), overstimulated meltdown, denial, most likely inaccurate chain of command about construction work or construction jobs in general, might be a little ooc Joel in one scene I’m not completely sure but it feels like it and I hate it😠😤.

A/N: the reader symptoms and preferences are based on my own, which is also where this idea came from. Ever since the show came out I just wondered what did they do to the people with ticks and stims at the beginning of the outbreak. I mean they eventually had to come up with a way to tell a difference in the beginning of the outbreak before they had the infection detector things, right?

I honestly might rewrite this because I don’t know if I like how this turned out. Usually I’m pretty good at picturing what characters would say in a certain situation, but there’s one part of the fic that I’m not so sure about( you’ll know it when you read it I’m sure). But it’s crazy because I’ve been living like this since the ages of 4 or 5 and it still extremely difficult to describe stimming, even harder writing about it. But I wish I had a Joel Miller parent so I guess I’m projecting a bit in this fic. And this may also be longest fic yet.

So I decided to make this into two parts because I want this posted today because it was supposed to be out yesterday and I don’t want to wait any longer.

Mockingbird (Part 2)

Taglist: @miss-celestial-being @ilovemydinoboi @taraiel @distorted-twink @geralallfandoms @your-shifting-gurl @daemontargaryenwhore @mihstar

What started out as a regular day went to hell in the span of a couple hours. I mean homes being set on fire, families separated, innocents slaughtered due to the fear of a sickness they had no cure for. But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s start from the beginning. My name is (Y/n) Miller, and this is the story of how everything went to shit.

I was only 4.

As a kid you’re oblivious to almost everything, but sometimes a child’s behavior can reflect the type of day the family will have whether they realize it or not. And my attitude had been off all that week, until my father’s birthday aka outbreak day. I called it the calm before the storm. That week I was in an overall bad mood. All of my senses had been on high, being overstimulated plus the struggle of always being alone in school. I mean don’t get me wrong I use to talk to some of my classmates, but most likely than not I would’ve been playing by myself either from trying to avoid the bullies or because nobody wanted to play with me in general. But hey, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. I never really understood people, I still don’t but I had my family and they always made everything okay. They never made me feel different about myself. Regardless of me being only four, I understood that the repetitive behaviors were definitely not normal. Along with the what I now know as stimming; physical, vocal, scripting, ticking, etc. I could go on and on about everything that makes me different, but my family had always helped me feel normal. To be honest I didn’t start realizing I was doing all that stuff until one day my dad sat me down and asked me ‘what are you doing’ and ‘are you okay?’, which made me more self-aware. And then there was school, the weird looks and the mean jokes came into play. I’ve rarely caught my family staring, but I knew they were. Growing up and remembering the past helps you realize things you might’ve missed or didn’t understand as a kid. Like the concerned/confused stares I would catch my dad or uncle Tommy giving me before I was diagnosed. I just didn’t know what the looks were for. But the day my father finally decided something was indeed wrong, that it wasn’t just a phase, had him making an appointment to my clinic fast. It was the first time my stimming caused me serious pain. Well, from what I can remember anyway.

July 23, 2002 - Austin,Texas (Y/n is 3 years old)

The day started out like any other. I woke up in my sister’s bed, once I got my bearings I got out of the bed and headed down stairs to see my dad and my sister having one of their many daily debates

“I’m just saying your generations music has nothing on ours- (Y/N)!” After hearing Sarah saying your name, Joel turned around seeing you standing in the kitchen doorway rubbing your eye.

“Hey babygirl. Did you have a good sleep?” He asked as he turned off the stove top and went to pick you up.

“Mhm. I’m hungry, daddy.”

“That’s good because I just cooked your favorite breakfast.” He said as he kissed your cheek and sat you down in the chair across from Sarah, who got the two of you orange juice. Joel then went to grab the plates. There were eggs, sausage, french toast, and he sat a bowl of grapes next to you knowing how much you love them. You all started eating your breakfast. You went straight for the grapes and started eating them, until you spotted something that looked weird to you. Frowning, you push the bowl away and went to the food on your plate.

“Something wrong with your grapes?” Joel asked you noticing the way you frowned up.

“They dirty daddy.” Causing Joel to frown in confusion.

“Dirty? I just washed ‘em.” Joel leaned forward and grabbed the bowl and didn’t see anything abnormal about the grapes. The water in the bowl didn’t even black specs in it that grapes leave behind. “They look fine to me.”

“No. They dirty daddy, look.” Standing in your chair, you leaned over and pointed to a grape with a light brown streak on it and another where it was brown from where the stem was.

“Oh, that doesn’t mean they’re dirty, baby. Grapes just to look like that sometimes or because they’ve gotten older. That’s all.”

“Ew.” You mumbled.

“They’re gonna taste the same.” Joel said as he sat the bowl back down next to you.

“I don’t want them anymore.” You say pushing the grapes away.

“They’re fine, (n/n). I actually think the small brown areas actually make them sweater.” Sarah says trying to reassure her baby sister.

“No.” That was your final statement before you went back to eating the food on your plate.

“Ok, you don’t have to eat ‘em.” Joel states as him and Sarah go back to eating their own food.

———

“(Y/n)!!! Come back here!”

“No!”

“We go through this every time you use the bathroom!”

Sarah was currently chasing you around the house. A daily thing really, but for the last few months you have determined on not washing your hands after using the bathroom. And not with just Sarah. With Joel and Tommy too. Joel usually would have to keep a firm grip on you that disabled you from moving away from the sink, and to keep you from running or flailing your arms around as an attempt to keep him from making you wash your hands.

The first time that happened you guys were at a restaurant. He would be surprised if that whole side of the restaurant didn’t hear you,

“Daddy, I have to use the bathroom.”

“Ok.” Usually he would have Sarah take you but her and Tommy’s food had made it to the table. And since he was still waiting on his, there was no sense in stopping her from eating. He took you out of the high chair, and you two headed to the restroom. After the long process of putting toilet paper on the seat, he sat you on the seat and let you do your business. Once you were finished cleaning yourself up and him flushing the toilet, he waited for you to go towards the sink. But you headed towards the door instead.

“Don’t forget to wash your hands.” Joel said from his spot on the wall he was leaning on with his arms crossed.

Turning towards the sink, you clasped your hands to your chest, letting out a low groan of disgust.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to touch it.”

“What the sink?” You nodded.

“You have to wash your hands, babygirl. Come on.”

“No.” You whined, and Joel knew then the two of you were going to have a problem.

“Babygirl, please.” He said in a pleading tone and tired tone.

“No!” Joel sighed then picked you up and held you over the sink as he usually would when washing your hands, but this time due to your decision of fighting and squirming in his arms, he had to get a gentle but firm grip on your hands to wash them himself.

“(Y/n).” That caused you to stop in your tracks. The sound was unfamiliar until your mind put together it was your father’s voice. He never says your actual name unless you were in trouble, and even then it would depend. But him calling your name was enough time for Sarah to scoop you up and head to the nearest sink which was the kitchen.

Sarah sat you down after she finished washing your hands. After getting free you pouted and went into the living room to continue playing with your toys before your bladder interrupted you. So invested in what you were doing, you didn’t even hear your Uncle Tommy come in the house.

“What’s for dinner today?” He teased, rubbing the top of yours and Sarah’s head as he passed by each of you.

“I don’t know you’ll have to ask this guy. He was supposed to go to the store but surprise, he didn’t.” Sarah says with a sarcastic smile towards her father who was going through bills. Joel head turned towards Sarah giving a bored look.

“We’re ordering pizza.”

“Fine with me.” Tommy states triggering Joel to role his eyes.

“Of course it is.”

Sarah went upstairs for the book the two of you were reading. To ‘keep her ahead of her future classmates’. While Sarah was upstairs, Tommy eyes trailed over to you, he smiled as he watched you in your own little world playing with your toys while talking to yourself. He watched you for a minute until he saw you stretching your neck. Normally he would’ve thought nothing of it until he realized it was happening constantly. At first they were only seconds apart, then you would stop for a few minutes and start again. There wasn’t an exact pattern, but he caught the rhythm of it.

“Buns neck been bothering her?”

“No.” Joel answered absentmindedly, still invested in the papers he wished he could use as a coaster without consequence.

“You sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” Joel asked, getting annoyed by the fact he kept getting interrupted with his task.

“ ‘Cause she keeps stretchin’ it like it’s bothering her.”

Joel looks up at Tommy who had a slight worried look on his face. Joel then turns around in his chair to see what his brother was talking about. And true to his little brother’s words there you were stretching your neck and shoulder in a way that looks painful if he’s being honest. Joel turned back around to his brother with an equally concerned look. He leans closer towards him and lowers his voice before he started talking signaling Tommy to do the same.

“I don’t know why she does that, and every time I ask her if she’s ok she tells me she’s fine.”

“Maybe she has a crook in her neck.”

“No, if it was a crook we would know. She would be a lot worse. She tends to panic when she has one of those, and doesn’t do a lot of moving around. To stop the ‘bouncy feeling’. This. This is something else. And it’s been getting more frequent lately.”

“Frequent?”

“Yeah, this started a few months ago. It’ll leave and come back after a few weeks, but like I said it’s been happening a lot more often lately. She does it with her hands and wrist too.”

“Hm.”

Joel turned back towards his youngest. “Babygirl, you okay?” He said in a tone reserved for only you and Sarah when she’s upset about something.

You look up from your toys, bright innocent eyes finding your father’s concerned ones.

“Yeah.”

“You sure? Your neck not bothering you?”

“No.” You replied while standing up from your place on the floor and walked over to your father. When you got close enough he automatically picked you up and sat you on his thigh.

“Then why do you keep rollin’ it around honey?”

“I’m not.” Joel frowned in confusion. He’s clearly watching you do it so, either you’re lying for some unknown reason or you just don’t know that you’re doing it. But he’s always able to tell just by asking one question.

“Are you telling me the truth?” Simple, but it works. It was a question he would ask you every time he would think you were lying. And every time you answer you have a tell. When you tell the truth you tend to answer pretty confidently, but when you lie, you always fiddle with something whether it be your clothes, your fingers, or just bouncing your foot.

“Yes.” There’s no fidgeting. Covering up how even more confused he was in the moment he just nodded in understanding even though he didn’t.

“Ok baby, you want to go back to playin’ with your toys?”

“Yeah.” You replied getting down from your father’s lap before he even had the chance to put you down. Then you ran off to start back playing until Sarah came back down the stairs.

“(N/n), story time.” Hearing that you stood up and headed over to the couch with your sister. Before you sat down you picked up your stuffed bunny, Tommy got it for you when you were two. They used to use it to stop you from crying, but now you take it wherever you go. You laid down across the couch with Sarah and had your bunny in front of you in the same position you were to Sarah. She opened the book to where you two left off and started reading stopping at every few paragraphs to let you read.

Joel watched the two of you, his world. He would never understand how a mother would want to give this up.

“Have you thought about getting her checked out?” Tommy’s voice broke Joel from his thoughts.

“Checked for what?” Joel asked frowning at his brother.

“Joel, are you serious? Something could be wrong.”

“She’s fine, Tommy. She’ll grow out of it.”

“Grow out of it? Don’t you want to make sure?”

“Tommy, please.” Now Joel was lying. To himself especially. But that is understandable, what parent wants to accept that something may be wrong with their child. It was a scary thing to think about.

“What if it’s somethin’ wrong? Wouldn’t you want to get Bun’ the help she needs as soon as possible.”

“She doesn’t need help Tommy. I’m telling you she’ll grow out of it.”

“Joel-”

“Just let it go.” Joel whispered in a hardened tone, trying to keep his voice down so the girls wouldn’t hear that anything was wrong. “Look, would you order the pizza for tonight. I’m trying to finish up these bills.” Tommy mumbled a ‘sure’ and got up to make the call. He understood why Joel didn’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, what parent does? But knowing his stubborn nature he won’t act on it unless something happens that causes him to. After hearing the voice of the pizza lady on the line, Tommy uses it as a distraction to get his mind off his niece and his stubborn mule of a brother.

January 16, 2003 - 6:30am

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Sarah sat up with a soft groan and stretches, when she heard whining. She turned toward her sister who was hiding under the covers.

“Time to get up (n/n).” Sarah was about to stand up until she heard you cry out. She pulled back the covers to see you in a fertile position, hands covering your ears, eyes squeezed shut. “Come on (n/n), we- what’s wrong?” Sarah asked starting to panic seeing a tear fall from your eye.

“Too loud!” Sarah was confused for a second before she remembered the alarm was still going off. She quickly reached over to turn it off, and brought you into her arms. She laid you on her chest, rocking you back and forth while rubbing the top of your head, and she softly shushed you until you calmed down. When Sarah heard your cries turn into sniffles and looked down at you.

“You okay?” She asked softly rubbing the top of your head. She was confused as to why you reacted this way but, whatever the reason, it had her extremely worried. After seeing you nod your head she was able to relax, but she knew she still needed to tell dad about what just happened. Sarah got you up so, the both of you could start your morning routine. Everything went semi-smoothly, but that’s to be expected after your reaction to the alarm clock she’s not all that shocked about your agitated behavior. Sarah had just finished fixing your shirt when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, you girls almost ready?”

“Yep, we were just about to head down for breakfast.” Sarah stood from her kneeling position in front of you, letting you know that she was finished. And after going to tuck your bunny in bed you walked over to Joel.

“Unfortunately, you two are going to have to eat breakfast at school.” He said as he picked you up.

“Ew, why?” Sarah asked.

“Well your Uncle Tommy called and said there’s been an emergency at the house we’re working on so, when he pulls up we gotta go.” He grabbed your book bag and started down the stairs since you had decided to fall back asleep, not that he blamed you if he could he would have too. A minute later Tommy pulls up and surprisingly the Adlers weren’t outside, then again they were leaving a little earlier than usual. But, either way they didn’t have time to stop and talk. Sarah was dropped off first, then you. And it wasn’t until Sarah sat down in her first period class when she realized she forgot to tell her dad what happened this morning.

———

Time Skip

Normally, when school gets out you would ride home with Denise, due to her daughter going to the same school and Sarah’s school getting out 10 minutes after your school does. Then add another 20-30 minutes of her having to take the school bus then the city bus to get home. When Sarah makes it to the neighborhood she has to pass by Denise house to get to yours which is when she picks you up, but today didn’t work out that way. It started when Joel got a phone call from your school.

Joel and Tommy were currently managing the workers that were doing the framework of the building they were working on. Well Tommy was, Joel was trying to keep calm while talking to the construction manger.

“Look all I’m saying is we should be getting paid more since we’re working more hours than what we were told we would be working, don’t you think.” The construction manger has been going back and forth with Joel for about 10 minutes now, way too long for Joel’s liking.

“No, I don’t. Especially since the reason we’re in this situation is because you guys didn’t do your jobs right in the first place. You’re lucky you’re still gettin’ paid the amount that was agreed upon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that if you and your guys spent as much time working as you do talking and taking breaks you probably would’ve done your jobs right the first time, and we wouldn’t be in this situation, or behind a day.” The manger didn’t take too kindly to that statement, and Joel was so close to losing his nerve until he was saved by the bell, literally. Right before he was about to tell the construction manager that he can stick it where the sun don’t shine, his phone started ringing.

Joel sighed while taking his phone out of the carrying case to see it was the preschool calling much to his confusion. He didn’t even notice the construction manager was still talking.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it up with Tommy.” He said while waving him off and answering his phone. “Hello.”

“Mr. Miller.”

“Yeah.”

“This is Elizabeth, (Y/n)’s teacher. We need you to come to the school.” Joel immediately sighs, dragging his hand over his face.

“What’d she do?” He replies in an exhausted tone. He never gets calls from your schools unless it’s to let him know he needed to bring a change of clothes for you. All the preschoolers have to have an extra pair of clothes that’s to be kept in the classroom just in case the kids have an accident or something. But you’ve been acting out a lot lately, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was for something like that.

“It may be better for you to come up to the school so we can explain it to you face-to-face.” Joel didn’t like the way this was sounding. It was hard for him to pinpoint the emotion that was coming off her voice, which worried him more.

“Okay, I’m on my way.” He sighed while hanging up the phone. He walked over to Tommy who looks like he actually did tell the construction manager to shove it, going off the look on the of their faces. “Tommy, I need you to watch over everything here for a while.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“That was (Y/n)’s school, they need me to go up there.”

“Is everything okay with bun’?”

“I don’t know her teacher wouldn’t tell me anything. I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just got into it with a kid in her class again.”

“Okay, call me when you find out what’s goin’ on.”

“I will. Alright I’m off, and make sure they actually do their job correctly this time.”

“I got it, go on.”

After that Joel made his way to the truck. Even though he says he’s sure she’s fine, he couldn’t help but worry about you. The tone of your teacher didn’t sound good at all. She sounded worried. And sad? Were you sick? He could deal with a common cold, but your teachers tone indicated something worse than that. And there has been a deadly virus going around the world, it hasn’t made it to America yet at least that’s what they’re telling everyone. But what if it has made it over seas? There’s no cure for it, and what if you had it? That couldn’t happen, to you or Sarah. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he lost one of you. No. Stop. That’s not going to happen. That would never happen. He hates when his mind gets like this, but as a single father the need to protect the two of you is the most important thing to him, and that makes him worry even more because that’s something he can’t ever fail at, and he doesn’t even want to think what’ll happen if he does.

He gets out of the truck and speed walks towards your classroom. He had gotten into his own head, but there’s something inside of him that’s telling him this is as serious as it feels.

“Mr. Miller.” He turns upon hearing his name being called, seeing your teacher standing in the doorway of the office.

“Where is she?” He asks as he makes his way to her. Once he got close enough he realized the tone in her voice wasn’t sadness, but pity? Why would she pity him, and where were you?

“She’s in the principals office. But! But before you go in we should probably explain what happened and why.” She said stopping him from brushing past her.

“What did she get into a fight with another kid or somethin’?” Joel ask impatiently.

“No-”

“Okay, then it can wait.” He moves to fast for her to stop and walks into the principals office to see you sitting in a chair with dried tear stain down your cheeks. He quickly kneeled in front of you gently grasping your hands in his.

“What’s wrong, babygirl. What happened?”

“I wanna go home.” You mumbled

“Ok, you want to tell me why?”

“Mr. Miller, we really need to talk to you.” The principal finally spoke up motioning to the officer hallway. He huffed as he stood up and followed the principal out, but not before he kissed your forehead and told you that he would be back.

“Okay, what’s so important that you had to drag me away from my daughter, who’s been crying? And why is she crying? I swear if that Richardson kid put her hands on her again-” He was annoyed with everyone at this point everyone besides you obviously, he just doesn’t understand why they couldn’t tell him while he comforted his daughter.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Miller. We just didn’t want to make her think that she was in trouble, we just got her to calm down.”

“So, she’s fine?”

“Physically, yes.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“Ms. Elizabeth?” The principal could he was getting upset so she found it best to let your teacher explain what happened.

“Mr. Miller.”

“Would y’all stop calling my damn name and actually tell what the hell’s going on with my daughter?

“Well (Y/n) has been in an agitated mood all day, but that’s not the problem. Uhm, the kids just got back from lunch about 30 to 40 minutes ago, and after they eat I usually let them have play time before I start their last lesson for the day before nap time. Today during play time (Y/n) had a little outburst.” Elizabeth knew she was beating around the bush, but that’s because she has heard this conversation happen many times with other teachers and parents and most often than not the parents don’t respond to well.

“Little outburst?”

“Well not really an outburst, but more of a meltdown. This is the special needs teacher, Ms. Thomson, and a friend of mine so I know what signs to look out for in a child. And (Y/n) has been showing these signs since the beginning of the year. They can be overlooked especially in girls and be seen as ‘normal’ and in a way it is. For her anyway.”

“What are you talking about? Signs for what?” Joel asked in frustrated tone.

Ms. Elizabeth look over at the special needs teacher to nervous to continue, and to make sure that she’s positive of (Y/n)’s condition. To which her friend responded with a nod.

“We think (Y/n) has autism. And before you say anything, the signs are all there. I’ve been watching her since her first day of becoming my student. And we highly recommend that she be tested.”

“What? She’s not autistic. I think I would know if my daughter had autism. Look at her, does she look autistic to you?”

“Autism doesn’t always have a look Mr. Miller, and just because she doesn’t have a physical disablement doesn’t mean she’ll be any less autistic than someone with one. That’s why we recommend getting her tested to find out how far she is on the spectrum.”

“You sound so sure that, that’s what it is. How did y’all come up with autism from her having a ‘meltdown’? And what do you mean by meltdown?”

“Well after I sent the kids to go off and begin playing I noticed (Y/n) hadn’t moved from the table, she just sat there, covering her ears with tears in her eyes. She had been in that position since they came back from lunch. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me the other kids were being too loud. But before I could offer a solution the students behind us started screaming louder than what they were, which triggered somewhat of chain reaction with the rest of the class, so I turned around make sure everything was ok but when I that’s when (Y/n) ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. I had to send the other kids to sit in a classroom with another teacher. (Y/n) was crying. Sobbing. When I unlocked the door she was sitting in the corner squeezing the sides of her head so hard it looked painful. All to try and block out the world because it was too much for her. It broke my heart to see her like that because (Y/n) is sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, and to see her in pain like, any child, it’s a hard thing to see. I had to wrestle with her a little to keep her from hurting herself, but I was able to get her calm enough to sit her in my lap and have her hold onto me while I called Ms. Thomson, who was able to calm her further until she reassociated with everything around her.

“Pain?” That’s when the special needs teacher finally decided to step in and say something.

“It’s called a sensory overload, Mr. Miller. It’s very common in the Autism Spectrum. It’s when someone on the spectrum becomes to overwhelmed with the world around them, and if they can’t find some kind of outlet from everything more than likely it’s going to cause a break down in one way or another.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s autistic-“

“Mr. Miller. Does (Y/n) walk on her tippy toes?

“Yeah, but all babies do that.”

“How does she act when she is in a large crowd or around someone she doesn’t know.” Ms. Thomson was completely calm while asking these questions. Knowing that getting agitated or saying something wrong could keep you from getting the help you need.

“The same as any other kid.”

“Does she get in mood where she doesn’t want to talk or just can’t talk in general?”

“Ok look, you’re only naming things all kids do.”

“Yes, but like every thing else on the spectrum there’s a line where it occurs more than it should. Let me ask you one more question Mr. Miller.

He doesn’t even reply he only took a breath to let her know he didn’t want to talk about the topic anymore. Still in denial, even after everything they just told him.

“Does she tend to twitch, or repeat her movements? Have you ever seen her stiffen or strain her body?” Joel didn’t even reply.

“Your silence speaks volumes Mr. Miller. Please, get her tested. It will help her make it in a society that wasn’t made for her. Giving her benefits she can use to even the playing field with neurotypicals. Don’t you think she deserves that?” Joel really didn’t want to accept this. Knowing that if you are autistic, you’ll face more difficulties in life. All because you were different. Difficulties you’re already facing, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“What do I need do to get her tested?” Joel asked after his little debate. All he can hope that the test comes out as negative, but that’s a long shot, given the special needs teacher already seems so sure, the test was just to confirm it.

Ms. Thomson who was smiling after hearing his agreement answered him. “Nothing, I already have an appointment set up for her with a neurodevelopmental pediatrician, who is also a good friend of mine. So, as soon as she finishes with the evaluation you will get the results. I just needed your approval.”

“Okay. Uh, thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Is it ok if I take her home?” Joel ask looking towards your teacher.

“Yes, I think that’s the best thing for her right now. Being in her safe space with all her things will help her get some much needed rest. I will write down the appointment information and what you’ll need for the evaluation and put it in her backpack for you.”

“Thank you.” After that Joel walked back into the office to see you playing with one of the pens on the principals desk in one hand and your head laying on top of the other. “Hey babygirl. You want to go home?” He asked as he kneeled in front of the chair, while making sure to keep his voice at a low level. Once you nodded he stood up, gently grabbed your hand, and the two of you went to get your bag and appointment information.

January 20, 2003 - 1:00 p.m.

Joel and Tommy were on their lunch break at a burger place when Joel’s phone started ringing. He cleaned his hands and took his phone out it’s carrying case before answering. “Hello?”

“Is this Joel Miller?” A woman’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, good. This is Tonia, the neurodevelopmental pediatrician that did (Y/n)’s evaluation.”

“Right, so what were the results?”

“Well, the documents are ready for you to come and get them, and I will break everything down once you get here, if you want.”

“Uhhhh yeah, I’ll be there in about 20-25 minutes.”

“Ok, see you then. Bye bye.”

“Bye. Get up Tommy, we gotta go.”

“I’m still eatin’”

“Tommy, bring it with you. Jesus.” Joel mumbled as he rolled his eyes at his younger brother.

They made it to the building, and Joel was doing his best to remember the way to the correct office while also trying to calm his anxious mind. When they made it to the office, Joel knocked on the door frame of the open door before walking in Tonia’s office.

“Here you go.” She said as she handed the papers to Joel who noticed it was about 15 pages.

“Wha-what am I looking at?” He asked looking up at the pediatric who let out a low chuckle, she gets the same reaction from almost all of the parents she encounters.

“Well first things first, I’ve concluded (Y/n) does have ASD. She is what we call a high-functioning autistic, and I came up with that diagnosis based on her teacher’s observations, your own, and from the activities I had her to do. The evaluation explains everything of what that means in detail like her sensitivity to sounds, her not liking to touch certain things, lack of social skills, etcétera.”

“So, what does this mean for her?”

“Well, she can stay in Ms. Elizabeth’s class, there’s no need to move her to the special needs class permanently. But she does have special education, and all that means is that Ms. Thomson will take her in her classroom to help her find ways to calm herself when she feels herself getting overstimulated. Or if she can’t and Ms. Elizabeth sees she is getting overwhelmed or she tells Ms. Elizabeth she’s getting overwhelmed they’ll send her to Ms. Thomson class or a quiet place for her to calm down. And maybe she’ll even have better luck with making friends in the special needs classroom than she does in her regular class. And education wise it means when she gets test she can go to a different classroom to take it and she’ll be able receive more time on any tests she has to take as well.” She looked up from her notes, making sure she got all the main checkpoints, but when she did Joel’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“Mr. Miller, the worst thing you can do for her is to feel bad for her. There’s no reason too.”

“No reason to? The whole point of this was to make sure she gets the help she needs to keep up with everyone else.”

“No, the reason for this was to make sure she had the help if and when she needs it. Academically (Y/n) is one of the smartest kids in her class, actually in her grade. It might take more effort, but she’s keeping up with her classmates. Some of the worst things you can do is pity her, hold her back due to being overprotective, or use it as an excuse to make her seem more fragile. I’m not saying she’s not going to have challenges because she is, but all you have to do is stay beside and make sure she keeps working at it till she gets it. And stay way from describing her condition as ‘slow’ or ‘retarded’. And you can’t punish her because of her stimming or overstimulated behavior. Not saying that you would! I mean- you just wouldn’t believe how many parents would get agitated and angry about things their child can’t control, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re attentive to her, and that’s something she’s going to need from you growing up.” Joel nodded in understanding still skimming through the evaluation packet.

“Thank you for doing this in such short notice.”

“No problem. She’s one of the sweetest kids I’ve met. And cutest.” That caused a smile to appear on Joel’s face. He hasn’t been able to smile much since Thursday, always thinking about you and the whole situation. Which has been weighing on his mind literally 24/7.

“Thank you for this, you have a nice day.” He said before turning around to leave out the office.

“You as well.” She replied also smiling at Tommy, who smiled and winked back, reaching his goal of getting her to laugh.

Joel barely made through the door before Sarah hit him with a “what’d she say?”

“Uhhh- where’s (Y/n)? And how’d you know she called?”

“She called the house phone first. And (Y/n) is upstairs, I just got her out the tub, which she didn’t like, at all.”

“She didn’t want to get out?”

“No, she didn’t want to get in. But she should be finished putting on her pajamas by now.”

“Ok, go get her and I’ll tell y’all the results.”

“Ok.” Sarah ran upstairs to get you, when you both got down stairs and sat on the couch, Sarah sat on the right side of Joel, and he picked you up and sat you on his lap tucking you into his side.

“How was school today, honey.” Joel turning his head towards you.

“Good. Ms. Elizabeth gave me headphones to put on my ears when everything got too loud again.”

“Did she? That was real nice of her.”

“Yeah. How was your day, daddy?”

“It was really good, babygirl. Thank you for asking.” The smile you gave him made his whole day. He thought back to what the pediatrician said about not pitying you because that’s not something you need from him. Looking at you now he realized she was right. He’s going to do his best to give you what you need. Whatever it may be, and he knows you’re going to grow into a smart and beautiful woman. He reached down and kissed your temple getting laugh out of you, a sound he would never get tired of.

Joel turned his towards Sarah, about to ask her how her day went stopped him before he started.

“My day was fine, the same. What did she say?” Joel paused for a second before he chuckled at her before pointing to the where he sat the evaluation.

“That’s the paper, she gave me that explains everything.” He blinked and Sarah had the papers in her hand, while she started reading he turned back to you to explain everything to you somehow.

“Ok babygirl. Do you remember test you had to take with the lady a few days ago?” After you nodded he continued. “You remember she told you it’s going let us know if you think differently than everybody else?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it turns out you do.”

“Is that bad?”

“No! No, no, no. It’s not bad at all, and don’t let anyone tell you that it is. Ok?”

“Ok.”’

“All it means is some things may be a little harder or more overwhelming to you than other people, but it also means better at other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Like being artistic, and solving puzzles. But it also means you can be smarter than others in your class. You may have to learn some things in a different way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be smarter. You already are. Ms. Elizabeth told me you were one of the smartest people in your grade.”

“She did!?”

“She did.”

“Wow.” You whispered in awe.

“Yeah, that’s a big deal, and daddy is so proud of you. You remember that, ok? No matter how big you get.”

“I promise, daddy.”

“Good. I love you babygirl.” He said, pressing another kiss to your temple.

“I love you too, daddy.” You said placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Awwwww, that’s so sweet. What are we eating for dinner? I’m hungry.” Sarah interrupted and Joel huffed out a laughed placing a quick kiss on her temple as well.

“I’m proud of you too baby.”

“I know, dad.” She said softly smiling.

“How about we go out for dinner? I really don’t feel like cookin’.”

“Fine with me. Come on (Y/n), let’s go put some clothes on.”

“Okay!” You said as you jumped up from Joel’s lap and ran off to catch up to your big sister.

A/n: Long story short the story was too long🤭🙇‍♀️😭 so I decided to split it into two parts. I hope you guys enjoy, sorry I took so long. But I love you guys for being patient, I really appreciate it.

#joel miller x autistic!reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller x reader #hbo tlou #tlou fanfiction #A New Diagnosis #joel miller x autistic!daughter!reader #joel miller x autistic daughter!reader

[foressfaction]

:Ticci Toby:{A Rewrite}

CHAPTER 6

WARNING:: This story contains EXTREMELY triggering topics such as Domestic/Child/Substance abuse, Death, harsh language, GORE and dissociation triggers. This story mentions mental illnesses and disorders such as Depression, PTSD, ADHD, and Tourette's Syndrome. !!TICS MAY BE TRIGGERING!!

Chapter six

Toby got home that night, realizing what he had done to his hands on the way home. They were chewed, bloody. Most of the blood was dry, but it wasn't hard to wash off.

Toby found some old pairs of winter gloves, they were black. He cut the tips of the fingers off, pulling them onto his hands to hide his scarred skin. He mostly wore jackets and flannels so the gloves wouldn't stand out as much. He really didn't want to be bandaged up again.

Lyra came opening his door, looking at him wide eyed. "What's up? I had an odd feeling just now."

"Eh? Oh, I'm fine, just- sitting, yep." he shrugged, tugging his hands into the creases of his elbows.

"Wait, Lyra, I have to ask, why was dad so mad yesterday?" he spoke, now thinking about how his head was healing. A white strip of gauze wrapped around his forehead halfway.

Lyra came in and sat down on his bed, hopping a little as she did so, making the bed bounce. "I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you. I quit my job, and well now we don't have much income."

Toby looked down slightly, kinda upset too. "heh..let me guess, dad did-didn't like that because you we-were the only one making money?"

She nodded. "I couldn't handle the drama, I wasn't getting promoted, I was only getting yelled at, work used to be my only escape from the verbal assault but I just didn't feel safe there." Lyra explained. This made Toby wonder, was Lyra skipping school? She never talked about it.

"You're still going to school right?" Toby asked. This earned a guilty side eye from the blonde girl. "Look- don't tell mom and dad okay? It was just too overwhelming and i had to work and- and-"

Toby grabbed her hand with a weak smile. "it's safe w-with me, why would i tell them? I know how dad would react, and mom would nev-never see the end of it." He looked down, a few facial tics leaving him.

"Let's go somewhere." Lyra randomly suggested. "Anywhere, for a drive, walk, even running doesn't sound so bad, I bet I can beat you in a race." She winked childishly. Despite being five years older than Toby, Lyra was a rather playful person. She was just overall chaotic. All she wanted to do was to make her brother laugh, see him smile. He never smiled much, or when he did it was an awkward smirk.

"Nuh uh, i-im way faster than you, believe it." Toby responded, taking on her challenge.

Lyra laughed stupidly and got up, lightning the mood. "Get your shoes on." She left the room quickly.

Toby got up and pulled on his old converses, they were all dirty and worn out from wearing them for so long. Toby followed the girl who disappeared into her room.

Lyra was putting her hair into a loose ponytail. She had bangs that fell perfectly above her eyes, and side tails that were just too short to fit into the ponytail. Her hair was thick and naturally a yellow blonde color. It was rather messy too, a family trait. She pulled on her own pair of plain white converses. Despite being white, they were still in way better shape than Toby's. Her style was pretty casual for their time, baggy jeans, band T-shirts with flannels or other sweaters layered over. They did live in a colder area so thicker and warmer clothes dominated their wardrobe. Plus the family's poor income only allowed them to mostly thrift all of their things, and stick to the same pair of shoes for years.

It's a good thing they never really grow out of old clothes. Both of the siblings being underweight and pretty malnourished. Lyra keeps Toby in check by doing things like they are now, exercising, without knowing it. Lyra and Toby honestly just liked being active. Staying inside all day was a bummer, and so what if it was 50 degrees out, they weren't going to suffice being bored to death all day.

School or work was the only reason they left the house, sometimes it was good to get out.

••••••

#creepypasta #slenderverse #foressfaction #ticci toby #toby rogers #rewrite #creepypastarewrite #ticcitobyrewrite

[thegalaxys-edge]

full hearts

The Bad Batch x GN!Reader (pre- established relationship, reader is referred to as Doc)

a/n: i started writing this 5 months ago and finally got around to finishing it. really i just want to give these boys forhead kisses and ramen, so this is that. ⋆˙⟡♡

sum: after a long mission, you decide to cook the Batch a good meal (pre o66)

warnings: none, just fluff :)

wc: 4k

-✰- reblogs are appreciated! -✰-

You sigh, depositing your small duffle at the entrance as the door slides shut; sagging your body back, you rest your head on the durasteel behind you, letting it cool your mind and the headache pounding at your temples. 

The apartment is fairly warm and midafternoon sunlight gleams through the small window, heating a well worn, second hand couch. It isn't much and it’s far from luxurious, but the small throw blankets and odd wall decorations made it feel like home.

You’d honestly meant to be back yesterday when you got in from a long series of missions as the field medic with Clone Force 99, but a quick, frantic call from a friend in the medical center had those plans changing rapidly. Instead of catching up on sleep (that you desperately needed), you ran to pick up two shifts, working from the late hour of night when you arrived until noon the next day, when a supervisor insisted you take some time off. And then you stayed another two hours. 

Removing yourself from your slumped position on the wall, you haphazardly drag your duffle and gear to one of the two bedrooms in the apartment and sling it onto a low-to-the-floor, but quite comfortable, bed.

The apartment was actually one you shared- as if anyone could afford to live on Coruscant alone, even in the mid-levels. Your other three roommates are a few field medics who you’d met in basic training, before you each got paired with your individual squads, and currently they are all off-world on separate assignments. In a way it’s disappointing to come home to a completely empty space, but right now you welcome the silence.

Your bed is calling your name after having no sleep in maker-knows how long, but the stronger part of your mind tells you that you need a shower and food desperately. 

You grab a set of clean civvies and head to the ‘fresher to scrub the dirt and dust and blood of the last mission from your skin. The soft smelling soap being luxury you dearly missed. 

By the time you feel sufficiently clean (plus several minutes to just enjoy the hot water) you towel off and get dressed, feeling slightly less exhausted and slightly more motivated to grab food. You know without looking that the pantry and chiller will both be near empty, a result of the constant circulation of late-shift workers not wanting to cook and the equal desire to not come back to the smell of spoiled food after a long mission. 

Slipping on socks and a pair of boots, you grab a bag and some credits to head to the nearby market. Ideas of pasta seem to float to the front of your mind as you lock the apartment behind you and walk out of the complex.

The sun is not fully set on Coruscant, leaving the lower area in a dim haze. The air is cooling down, but overall refreshing with a not completely pleasant, but familiar scent. It felt like home, or as close to home as you could have. 

You clutch your bag close under your arm and let yourself focus on the bustle of the city around you. It was very overwhelming when you first moved to Coruscant, with its nearly infinite cityscape and trillions of individuals with their own lives swirling around you, but now your feet move on autopilot with your understanding of the sectors layout, and instead you can enjoy the excitement constantly thrumming in the streets.

In a small gap in the crowd, you spot a familiar color scheme that has you pausing your sure-footed stride. Through the passing bodies, you could spot none other than your squadmates, picking their way past a large group of vendors. You’re almost hesitant to interrupt their time off and instead plan to slip back into the crowd, hopefully unnoticed, when you lock eyes with Hunter, who had been dutifully surveying their surroundings while his brothers were locked in discussion.

You awkwardly raise a hand in greeting and offer him a small smile, which he returns. Seeing the shift in Hunter’s focus quickly grabs the attention of the rest of the squad. Wrecker’s face lights up as he barrels his way through the crowd of pedestrians, who desperately dodge to clear a path for him, and wraps you in a tight hug.

Your hands scramble to find purchase on his shoulders as he lifts you well off the ground and you let yourself tuck your face into his neck to disguise your wide grin. By the time he releases you, you can feel a gentle heat rising in your cheeks, and you let a sly greeting slip out.

“Long time no see, eh?” You calculate it had been roughly 17 standard hours.

Crosshair is, surprisingly, the first to respond.

 “You look well,” he snarks in a tone that clearly teases the opposite. You scoff at his comment, but in all honesty, you probably are a sight to behold right now- haphazardly dressed, hair still damp from the shower, smiling like an idiot in the middle of a Coruscanti market. 

“Maker, thanks Cross-“ you start, unable to stop the laugh bubbling up at the sight of Echo swatting his arm.

“You’re a di’kut, Cross.” 

Said di’kut removed the toothpick that, til recently, resided at the corner of his mouth, and flicked in back at Echo, whose face scrunched into a, frankly adorable, frown.

“So,” Hunter started, clearly over the antics of his brothers, “what are you doing out? Thought you had plans to ‘sleep until our next mission.’” He quoted your last conversation back at you.

Well, that had been the plan. 

“Plans change.” You didn’t need to tell them you haven’t slept since the mission, “What are you doing out?”

“Looking for some good food!” Wrecker burst with a clap on your back.

“That time isn’t it? I'm out for the same thing. Where are you headed?”

“We are currently unsure, most Coruscant establishments are..” Tech hesitated, choosing his words, “Less than welcoming.”

You frown, tamping down the anger that quickly sparked in your chest. You are well acquainted with the prejudice that cropped up in all sectors of the city. Hells, there were more shops allowing droids than clones at this point, and both the GAR and the Senate seem disinclined to stop the blatant discrimination. But falling into a rant about that wasn’t productive right now. You had more than enough experience avoiding discriminatory stalls to know the best food joints that were open to all, and your primary mission shifted to getting these boys some good food. And then your mouth was moving faster than your brain could filter.

“Well I could probably point out a few stands or-“ you paused, catching your words in time. You could cook for them. That seemed too forward. Sure you all got along well, even Crosshair had shifted from outright mean to more lighthearted jeering in your conversations, but that doesn’t mean they’d want to spend their limited time off with you. That, and they’d be in your apartment, which somehow felt quite personal, despite the limited time you spent there. Anxiety twists in your stomach.

“Or?” Tech prompted, clearly not willing to let your sentence end prematurely. The Batch was looking at you expectantly, but there was something else. They looked… happy. Relaxed in a way that you never saw on missions. Maybe you were overthinking it, it would just be dinner, and you trust them to say no if they aren't interested. Besides, with how much work they have over endless missions, it might be nice to enjoy a warm meal.

You purse your lips and summon some courage.

“Well, if you’d like, you could come over to my place and I could cook something up.” You will yourself not to shy away from their gaze. 

“Really!?” Wrecker all but yells, voice overlapping with Hunters' attempt to reject your offer.

“We wouldn’t wanna trouble you, it’s not exactly easy to feed five troopers.”

“It wouldn't be any trouble, I wouldn't have offered if it would be. But if you aren’t interested, I understand, I don't want to impose or anything…”

Hunter studied you for a moment, hand absentmindedly scrubbing the back of his neck; he must have found what he was looking for because he turned to exchange glances with the rest of the squad, each of them giving a subtle nod, barring Wrecker who looked quite eager. He turned back to you, apparently satisfied.

“Well then, what’s for dinner, Doc?”

You grinned at him, letting the nerves shift into excitement.

“Well,” you considered for a moment, “I was thinking ramen would be great.” 

At Hunters’ agreement, Wrecker practically knocks Tech over to lift you up into his arms again. By the time your feet touch the ground, Echo has his lips pursed with concern.

“What is ramen?”

“It is a savory broth and noodle dish served in many stylized ways, often with various meats, proteins, and vegetables,” Tech states, adjusting the rims of his goggles before looking up from his data pad.

You nod in agreement, “I’ll need to pick up a few things, but there's an outdoor market just nearby.”

Falling into a pod-like formation, you lead the group a few streets over, all the while listening to Echo recount some of the worst foods he's suffered through during his time with the 501st, including an especially slimy seafood soup. He concluded that he was not particularly fond of dishes that look back at you.

Together you meander your way through several stores, picking out broth, noodles, a protein that Hunter seemed particularly interested in trying, and various vegetables, all of which Tech was keen on discussing. At some point you linked arms with Echo, who insisted on carrying the grocery bag. 

When all the supplies have been collected, you pick your way back to the apartment complex. It’s a short walk away and all the while you exchange easy conversation with the squad. On missions, you try to stay professional and keep your focus in the way you were taught during basic training, despite the Batch’s often successful attempts at breaking down your walls. However, without the tension of impending injury or death clouding your thoughts, you let yourself relax. 

You point out your building to the group, scanning your key card to get in. A sharp prick of nerves rocks your stomach as you make your way into the lift, dampening the lighthearted mood that had gathered during your time at the market. Logically, there was no reason to worry, after all, you’ve already sacrificed all privacy and personal space when you crowd on the Marauder for missions. That never made you nervous, in fact, you've even teased your squad, mostly Tech, about how you were claiming partial ownership over his pride and joy of a shuttle; but somehow this felt more personal, like you were letting them into a new part of your life. Which, in a way, you were.

Crosshair, having either impeccable timing or just catching onto your nerves, slides an arm to the railing on the opposite side of your body, placing him close behind you, and effectively shifting your mind from any worries you were having to the way he was nearly wrapped around your body. Then, without any warning, he jams his boney fingers into your side, causing you to yelp in surprise. Immediately turning around, you smack your hand into hard plastoid armour and glare up at him. He only shrugs back at you, a smirk playing on his face.

“You’re in your head mesh’la.” You pause for a split second. That nickname was new. 

“Yeah, well you must be out of yours. If you don't keep your hands to yourself, Cross, you won't be eating.” 

He raises his hands in mock surrender as his brothers jeer at him, but the glint in his eye told you he was going to be trouble.

You unlock your apartment, the door sliding open with a hiss, and step aside to let them in. 

“Feel free to make yourselves at home,” you smile and gesture to the open-concept living space and kitchen in a way that is hopefully not as awkward as it feels. 

Echo turns to you, “Mind if we ditch some armour?”

“Of course, go ahead.”

Warmth spreads through your face as they each remove the top half of their armour, Tech retaining his vambraces, and spread out around the room. You try not to let your eyes linger on how their tight fitting blacks cling to their impressively built frames, with limited success.

Quickly pushing that thought from your mind, you grab the controller to switch the holoscreen to the first thing you could find: some cheesy reality dating show. Wrecker sprawls on the couch and lolls his head back, Tech joining him at the opposite side. Crosshair perches on a barstool at the kitchen counter with a good vantage point of both the kitchen and the holo. You quickly shoo Echo away from where he was unpacking the groceries in the kitchen and he joins his brothers on the couch. Hunter saddles up beside you in the kitchen while the others settle in, resting his hand on your back. When you look up at him, you find him already watching you.

“Nice place you’ve got here,” a soft smile slants across his face. 

“‘S more of a mess when my roommates are around.” He nods in understanding, his roommates are a bit of a mess as well.

“Thanks for having us over, Doc.” The sincerity of his gaze sends sparks through your body and you can only hope that his senses don't pick up on the stuttering of your pulse.

“Don't thank me yet, you don't know if the food is any good. It shouldn't take too long, you can go sit down for a bit.”

 He’s probably been just as busy as you since getting back, between mission reports and making sure his brothers were all cared for. For a second it seems like he might protest and insist on helping, but then he gives your waist a quick squeeze and goes to sit in the mismatched chair near the couch.

With the Batch relatively settled, you begin to work on pulling out cookware and heating up the broth in a pot. You give the vegetables a rinse and pull out a knife and chopping board to start cutting, quickly abandoning the task when the broth heats to the correct temperature. With a plan to cook two packages of noodles at a time to maintain a good cooking temperature for the noodles, you start the first batch, before dropping a pad of butter into the pan for the vegetables. You turn to keep chopping, only to see Cross had taken over the task quite dutifully. It was very…domestic. A fuzzy feeling was creeping back through your body at the sight.

Rather than try to move the ridiculously stubborn man back to the couch and ruin a genuinely sweet moment, you just skirt behind him, dragging your hand gently across his shoulder blades and offering a  soft thanks as you gather some of what he's already cut to sauté. You grab a second pan for the meat.

The rest of the cooking is a quick blur of setting out bowls and alternating between cooking and dishing out batches of ramen, setting aside an extra batch for when Wrecker is inevitably still hungry. By the time the last bowl is full, the kitchen is a bit of a mess, but the meal in front of you is nothing short of mouthwatering.

You rap your knuckles twice on the counter closest to the living room, “Dinner!”

The Batch files in, Echo and Tech invested in an almost heated debate over the bachelors in the holo, with Echo vehemently protesting Tech’s pick to win as being shallow and Tech retorting about how his pick obviously had the highest probability of winning, regardless of his shortcomings.

Wrecker seemed to be nearly bursting with joy as he grabs a bowl and you hand him a set of chopsticks. His free arm slings around your shoulders and he drops a kiss to the top of your head, along with a gleeful ‘thank you.’

“There’s also forks on the counter if you’d prefer,” you gesture to where you'd set extra silverware, doubting that any of them had much experience with chopsticks.

The rest of them each follow suit, grabbing bowls and chopsticks and offering you thanks, to which you duck your head in quiet acceptance of their praise.

They all migrate back towards the couch with full bowls, sans Echo, who instead moves to the counter due to his inability to hold the bowl and wield utensils simultaneously. You opt to join him with a bowl of your own.

You scoop a large bite of noodles, almost groaning at the taste, stomach growling in appreciation. You'd nearly forgotten how long it's been since you ate. Both your escapade with the Batch in the market and cooking dinner had taken much longer than the quick dinner you had anticipated having alone. 

Glancing over at Echo, you see him grasping hopelessly at the chopsticks. He met your gaze with an almost guilty grin that told you he was about to make a stupid joke.

“Mind givin’ me a hand?” He raised his scomp-link for emphasis.

Maybe it was the tiredness truly setting in or maybe it was the joy of seeing the usually-tense ARC Trooper letting his guard down, but laughter swelled out of you at the idiocy of a pun you certainly should have seen coming. His smile widened, crinkling the corners of his eyes, which only made you smile to match him, before scooting your stool so you were shoulder-to-shoulder to give him a quick run-down.

Across the room, Tech seemed to have given a similar demonstration about chopstick technique, resulting in Wrecker grabbing one of the forks you had left out to expedite the process of food consumption.

The room was rather quiet, excepting the holoscreen, once everyone became fully invested in their meals. The sun had long since set, and everything was cast in the flashing from the light from the holoshow, as well as the standing lamps around the room, which your roommates all agreed was preferable to the abrasive fluorescent fixtures. Echo and Tech continued to comment on the dating show, with Crosshair chiming in every so often to comment on how ridiculous the whole thing was (though his concentration on the screen revealed he was rather invested). At one point you got up to refill Wreckers bowl and join the rest of the group on the couch with Echo in tow. You end up squeezed between Wrecker and Echo, with Tech on the other side of Wrecker and Cross tucked on the broad arm of the couch. Hunter looked as if he was melting into the armchair.

By the time the episode ended (on an overdramatized cliffhanger), you were almost asleep leaning on Wreckers arm. The bowls gently clink together as Hunter gathers them up to bring into the kitchen. With a yawn, you move to stand and start the dishes but Echo reaches in front of you to prevent you from getting up, meeting your bewildered look with a retort about how you invited them over and cooked and how dishes were ‘the least they could do’. You stammered in response, which Crosshair snorted at, cracking his eyes open and shifting his head from where it was leaned against the wall. He looked exhausted. They all did. 

“At least let me dry!” You raise your voice so Hunter could hear you over the running water, “you don't even know where things go!”

“I believe I could assist with that.” Tech stands, trying and failing to hide his smirk at your losing battle of hospitality.

Meanwhile, Echo enlists Wrecker to keep you from getting up, leaving you with your torso fully wrapped in Wrecker’s arms and your legs draped across Echo’s lap. With no chance of escaping, you resign yourself to lay back into their arms and listen to the sound of Hunter and Tech cleaning up the dishes and the dull chatter of the following episode of the dating show.

When you open your eyes again some time later, Hunter seems rather panicked. His chestplate has been haphazardly reattached and a strong grimace paints his features. 

“Sorry Doc, didn’t realize it was so late,” he shook Crosshair awake, “We’ll be out of your hair and let you get some rest.”

Wrecker and Echo shift to get up, untangling themselves from you. Crosshair waking bearily on the armrest. You stand up too, catching a glance at the chrono displaying half an hour to midnight.

“Are you headed all the way back to the barracks?” You question, almost rhetorically. It seemed ridiculous to trek back across the city this late. You never know what precious limited time there is to sleep before you all ship out for the next mission, but you're certain that the Batch shouldn't have to spend sleeping hours commuting back to uncomfortable bunks. 

“You could just crash here for the night.” Hunter paused from where he was collecting and passing out armour plates.

After an uncomfortable amount of silence, you gesture vaguely to the couch. “It’s a pullout.” The group pauses from the beginnings of reattaching armour plates. “I can grab some spare sheets and blankets, if you don't mind sharing a bed.” A yawn stretches through you, prompting a few more from the group. 

You must have underestimated exactly how tired Hunter is, as instead of politely declining and herding his brothers out like you anticipated, he doesn't even try to argue, nodding slowly in agreement before moving back toward the living room.

Dragging yourself into action, you stretch your limbs high above your head before setting Hunter and Crosshair to figure out the couch while you go in search of extra sheets in the linen closet. You return, handing them off to Tech and Echo before gathering some throw blankets to add to the bedding. 

While your team sets up, you return to your room to change into sweatpants and a sleep shirt. You quickly brush your teeth in the connecting bathroom, then gather what pillows you have on your bed to bring out to the living room.

When you return, the men are all stripped of their remaining armour and left in blacks. The bed is fully made and looks quite cozy, though it will certainly be a tight squeeze. Wrecker crawls in first, settling in the center of the bed with a heavy sigh. Tech follows, leaning in to press a tired kiss on your forehead before crawling to the far side. Echo settles in between Tech and Wrecker, while Cross moves to Wrecker’s other side. Their movements are practiced, as if they had done this a hundred times before. It was quite likely that they had, with time in the field and on Kamino providing little other comfort.

Hunter flips off the lights before slipping an arm around your waist and leaning to speak softly in your ear, his voice gruff.

“Joining us, mesh’la?” You realize that you've just been standing by the side of the bed, watching them all settle in. You had planned to return to your own bed, but leaning into his chest, you feel yourself quickly losing the battle against sleep. And you gave up all your pillows.

“Mmph.” A low laugh rumbles around you and Hunter nudges you toward the couch, tucking you in next to Crosshair, who was quick to pull your back to his chest and tangle up your legs, before pulling himself in behind you. You adjust the blankets in an effort to keep Hunter tucked in with you, knowing full well he would sacrifice his own comfort otherwise. With nearly no space between you, Hunter lets his eyes fall shut and rests his forehead on your own.

“G’night, Doc.” You don't know if you respond out loud, as you lose all grip on the waking world. After months of harsh missions and endless carnage, you were cuddled up, safe, content, and finally asleep.

#hunter x reader #hunter tbb #crosshair x reader #crosshair tbb #tech x reader #tech tbb #wrecker x reader #wrecker tbb #echo x reader #echo tbb #the bad batch x reader #gn!reader #tbb fluff #the bad batch #swtcw #my writing

[tinyhandsonmyapron]

02.01.2024

I had my HSG performed yesterday! There's an exclamation point there because I did not realize it was also a therapeutic treatment in addition to a diagnostic one. So now it's exciting!

It was not fun, but it wasn't the worst pain either. And the doctors were really hyping it up as therapeutic. As much time as they spent explaining the procedure and my aftercare, they spent telling me baby dancing and conceiving tips and just emphasizing over and over again that starting Friday afternoon we need to try really hard.

I usually look up my predicted due date every month because apparently I'm a masochist, but I had refrained this month. I just looked it up. Y'ALL. It's Dearest's birthday! 💛 I'm choosing to be optimistic and take it as a sign. That plus several other things have lined up recently, so I'm allowing myself to get my hopes up this cycle.

I also got to spend time with my friend that I'm reconnecting with. It was very very nice. Overall, yesterday started out feeling bad for myself and depressed about needing to have this mystery procedure done and nervous about hanging out with my friend (?!), and it all just turned out so so good.

Here's hoping your day today also turns out so much better than you are expecting 💛✨️🌱

#mine #momblr #homemaker #homemaking is for anyone #inclusive homemaking #motherhood #homemaking #ttc baby 2 #ttc over 25 #secondary infertility #secular homemaking #hsg procedure

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update 4/18/2023

I said I was gonna do it and I did it: I finished chapter 4, which as predicted, ended up being chapters 4 and 5. (I really don't know how I thought it could be otherwise...even after the split, Chapter 4 ended up being the longest chapter in the whole thing, nearly twice as long as most of the other ones). Yesterday, I re-read Chapters 1-6. I had to kinda steel myself, because I was honestly terrified it was going to be Terrible, but it's Not Too Bad, Actually! I sent Chapters 2 and 3 off to the beta. I want to let 4 and 5 simmer a little longer before I do a little more minor editing on them, but it shouldn't be much. I definitely thought Ch 6 was going to Tonally Off, but it's actually ok, too.

It's really hard to emphasize the mess this thing was as recently as two weeks ago. I honestly cannot believe I have pulled it into the shape that it's in. I mean, I'm not gonna claim this is my magnum opus or anything, but it's sort of a very personal accomplishment. Part of that is because it's easy to write nice romance stories where they kiss at the end, or straightforward angst, but writing a prequel about a weird time in someone's life where they go through a really uncomfortable transition is not easy and it's sort of fundamentally unsatisfying. Of course it is, because it's a building block of a relationship that's going to take another 40 years before it starts looing up again. I don't particularly know if it's something people want to read, but it's what I wanted to write and I did.

Anyway, I am feeling very high on my horse today, but I do still have one chapter left to go. It's got three scenes. I have not looked at them lately, but two of them are Mostly Okay, but need endings. The third one really was Tonally Wrong and also I pillaged it for dialogue in another scene, so that will take some work, but overall, it's a lot less than I had to do last week and feels very doable.

After that, it'll still need some minor edits and polish (plus there's always the chance my beta is going to be like Polynya, this is gibberish, not that she ever has, but it'll happen one of these days) but maybe you'll get to see it soon! Believe it!!

I have been really off my art game and it's primarily because this fanfic has been eating my brain. I might do a little sketch requests thingie? For a treat? After I'm done, obvs. I am also going to work on that smut I started weeks ago. I didn't lose interest in it or anything, I just got really wrapped up in this one.

Anyway, because I love you and you have all been very, very patient with me, you can have a lil baby excerpt this week.

from Chapter 3

Rukia isn’t sure what she expected to see when she enters the dojo, but it certainly isn’t Renji sitting on the floor, poring over a large book. “Where’s Mr. Mochida?” she asks.

“Not up yet, probably. I don’t know,” Renji says, flipping a few pages.

Rukia narrows her eyes at him. “I thought you said it was time for training.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“But Mr. Mochida is in charge of training.”

“Well, yeah, but I found this book yesterday, you see, and I really want to try some of the stuff in it.”

“So when you said ‘training’, what you meant was ‘Renji bullshit.’”

“Sure, okay, but you wouldn’t get out of bed if I told you it was Renji bullshit.”

Rukia levels a death glare at him, but it is deflected by the protective layer of Renji bullshit hovering around him. She tries a different tack. “Renji, look at my yukata. Look at it, Renji. It’s got bunnies on it. Little itty bitty bunnies.”

Renji looks up, stares at her for exactly ten seconds, and then jabs a finger at his book. “Body weight exercises, Rukia! They require no equipment, so you can do them anywhere! This book has them all broken out by which muscle groups they make stronger!”

Rukia gives up, and hunkers down beside him. “Oh! It has pictures.” “They aren’t pictures, they’re diagrams,” Renji informs her pompously. “I want to do this one. It’s called push-ups. It will make our arms really strong!”

#writing update #art update

[akwardlyuncool]

What Goes Up Up (2009) - Review

The misfits find one teacher they can trust and when that teacher dies and a new figure appears in his wake, will they too trust him in that same fashion? Campbell Babbit (Steve Coogan) is put on a newspaper assignment, to get off of writing about the woman he obsessively writes about at current and onto more world news, like the Challenger Space Shuttle launch. He ends up slipping into the life of an old college buddy that has passed away, thinking he can figure out the students his friend left behind and maybe tell someone else’s story for a change.

While out for Record Store day yesterday, I came across this movie that had both Hilary Duff and Josh Peck in it, so I had to pick it up, not many questions asked. Now after watching the ish, I got a whole bunch of questions. The beginning of the film makes it seem like there’s just this group of misunderstood, outcast students who found solace in a classroom, run by a teacher who instead of becoming a priest, decided to put that care into students who needed a little extra, however, and I think this is the goal of the movie, I spent most of it questioning what was happening in that town and really in that classroom.

Now I don’t want to spoil anything, but I will say that I spent a good chunk of the movie with what the kids today call “the ick.” You don’t really know what did or did not happen so you make up your own assumptions, good or bad, until the end when things start to unravel and even then no one truly knows the truth or they do, just not the entirety of that truth. They let some people be heroes and others accept the story they’ve been given.

Had I seen this movie back in 2009 when I was an “edgy” teenager watching and reading all of the stories about misfit, outcast teenagers with identity issues and drug problems and cool art hobbies, I probably would have saw the story they were trying to tell with this one. I don’t know if I would have agreed, probably would of still had some ick, but I might have saw something redeeming in the hour and 44 minutes of run time. Now as an adult I’m left feeling uncomfortable and wondering if what I watched was worth the 3 dollars I spent on the DVD? I will say that some of the ick gets cleared it up which did ultimately help me feel a little less like I wanted to puke, but I’m still unsure about the whole thing.

I don’t think I can really recommend the movie to anyone outside of completionists, die-hard fans or those of y’all who can sit through  fairly dark films and be relatively okay at the end. There was just so much sketch up in the air for the majority of the film and I don’t know that I could recommend someone else sit with that much uncertainty for over an hour. Basically watch at your own discretion.

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TW/CW Plus Some SPOILER-Esk Content Below:

Note on TW’s and CW’s: I’ve recently read something about the usefulness of Trigger Warnings and Content Warnings and how they may not actually be working as intended and don’t offer the help or protection that we think they do or did. That being said, as someone who at least likes to know when the overall subject or content of something may not sit right with me, I’ve decided to put them and other bonus content under a “READ MORE” or “Keep Reading” line, when I have them.

If you have feelings or insight on this please let me know, as this is something I’m testing out and would love further feedback on.

TW/CW: This movie talks about subjects of suicide and inappropriate relationships between adults and minors.

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The Actual Somewhat Spoiler Commentary:

Steve Coogan’s character is a stranger to these kids and the role that he let them lead him into was inappropriate to say the least. I feel like because he is a stranger, no less an adult, even if he was trying to figure out what happened to his old friend, he should have put up some boundaries real quick. It seems like he’d tow that line to “protect” the heart of a teenage girl all in the name of the story. I think however, part of him wrote about heroes so much that he let himself slip into the villain role rather easily. He claims he’s not “that guy,” but I was not truly convinced. There were too many closed doors and making sure the girl knew she was loved by her teacher, for me to just accepts his grey area. I’m not saying I believe he’s “that guy” either but he is not the good or clean one in this situation, like at all.

Also I feel like the meaning of Josh Peck’s character (Jim Lement) was so confusing. Like is he in love with Hillary Duff’s character (Lucy) or just trying to protect her himself. Is he one of the “bad” guys who trips into heroism every once in a while, but knows they only partly deserve the compliments. Is he supposed to be the “teacher” in the end?

#Movie Blurbs #Movie Reviews #What Goes Up #Steve Coogan #Hilary Duff #Josh Peck #Olivia Thirlby #Molly Shannon #Brett Kelly #Molly Price #Max Hoffman #Sarah Lind #Laura Carswell #Ingrid Nilson #Andrea Brooks #Aaron Brooks #Levi Sochet #Barry Greene #Movies

[roosterbox]

Oh yeah, forgot to mention. Since I had a RL obligation-free day today (yesterday, rather, but I haven’t slept yet), and I needed the time to relax, I decided to watch Spree for the first time. Also the first thing I’ve watched with Joe Keery in it. Yes, I still have not watched Stranger Things. My resolve not to (knowing how S4 ends) is getting smaller day by day, but it’s still there, dang it!

But anyway, Spree.

I put up a little mini review on Twitter, but if you were curious about my thoughts, I’ll put them behind a cut. Because, you know, SPOILERS.

I liked that it wasn’t a scary horror movie per se (though the premise of a murderous rideshare driver is pretty scary) but a fun one. Which might seem incomprehensible to a non-genre fan, the concept of a horror movie being ‘fun.’ The plot was engaging, and the build-up/escalation was so well done. It got more than a little awkward for me at times, but only because I get secondhand embarrassment reeeeeeally bad. It’s why I generally don’t fuck with livestreams too much; the potential for something to go wrong, or get weird and awkward, is too much. But I knew going in what the movie was about, so at least I wasn’t blindsided by it, lol.

Joe is really really great in this. At times both interesting and pathetic. He imbues Kurt with enough character that you’re always wondering what the fuck he’s gonna do next, but not so much that you root for him or feel much sympathy for him at all, other than a basic ‘feel sorry for the loser who brought this on himself’ kind of thing. Maybe that’s just me. I’ve got a bleeding heart, what can I say? Maybe it’s just because it’s Joe, and I like Joe.

The other characters are interesting too. I’m glad the murder victims were a mix of assholes and non-assholes. Can’t have us sympathize with Kurt too much. I liked Jessie pretty much immediately, and am glad she was the one who survived. David Arquette was surprisingly effective too. His last scene made me… feel things. Like dang, bro. Also, I knew I recognized one other actor in this, but it took me a hot minute. Whoa, I can’t believe Joe Keery is in a movie with Jared, 19, who never fucking learned how to read!

The last five minutes or so are excellent. Very intense, edge-of-the-seat type stuff. Only to then whip back into fun territory again when Jessie acquiesces to the chat’s request to take a selfie with Kurt’s body. Which she does. Smiling. I was cackling, lol. Plus the fact that she got more clout by killing him? Chef’s kiss.

Overall, I enjoyed it!

Favorite scene: when Kurt gets a ride, makes some small talk, and the driver’s like “don’t worry, I’m not the guy killing people lol.” They both laugh awkwardly before Kurt goes, “yeah, I know.” Next scene, Kurt is driving the car. Very subtle. I dig it.

#spree #joe keery #horror cinema #very interesting movie #idk much about the whole influencer thing #but it felt like it rang true with its depiction #especially the idea of what some would do for clout #also hooray for fun horror movies #lol

[eglectic]

December 18 — Some Credit, I Guess

Current weight: 195.3

I’m annoyed. I also have had one of my worst weeks financially at my job, so the mood in general isn’t great. And that’s all part of it. This is the part of the process when I get to be angry and frustrated and all the other emotions available to me thanks to the human experience.

It blows my mind that with the type and the amount of food I eat I haven’t lost more weight. It pisses me off, actually. I get to feel any way I want to about it, because my thoughts are the ones that create those feelings. This weight has no inherent meaning. Furthermore, no amount of emotion or arguing will change the number on the scale. It will still remain a neutral fact. And yeah, I choose to be frustrated and to open up to those feelings because I can handle them. I haven’t decided to eat about it, and that’s the beauty of this fitness journey. I’m being a woman that doesn’t eat her feelings. I’m as committed as ever, if not more so now.

Sunday, December 18:

Cold brew x2

Lunch: Chopped salad with chicken; no crispy onions no blue cheese crumbles; olive oil & vinegar as dressing

Dinner: 2 Fuji apples and hummus

In terms of diet, I mentioned yesterday that I will be reducing the amount of fruit I eat moving forward. i just wanted to finish these two apples tonight because I didn’t want them to go bad. I also received some water enhancers as PR, and they’ve really helped me increase my water intake significantly. The other thing I really really want to focus on over the next two weeks is to stop eating when I’m full. The signal for hunger is pretty obvious and I can usually stay patient enough until I feel it. Now I want to get really good at noticing when I’m full and stopping.

Also, let’s do a mid-month data check in.

I guess overall my weight did go down about 1 lb on average over the month of December. So I don’t need to be too upset. Plus I know today I was heavier because I simply have a large volume of food inside of me still.

My step count is decent. December 8 was the night of the benefit with my friend. I did have a great workout at the gym that day with 48 heart rate zone minutes, but my workouts don’t always translate to a lot of steps. And last Wednesday was simply a lazy day, which I needed.

One interesting thing to me is now that I’m on average lighter than I was a month ago, I hardly ever burn 3000 calories in a day. It makes sense — since I weigh less, I burn less calories. This makes me want to be more active and go harder in the gym though, because I like round numbers and burning that much feels like an achievement.

As much as I sigh, I am still on track and making progress and doing well. The changes in protocol over the next two weeks will be interesting to note. And yeah, I guess I can congratulate myself because I’ve definitely gotten stronger as I’ve lost weight and I’ve done it in such a healthy way, without ever feeling weak or faint.

#170 #fitness #fitness journey #weight loss #food journal #food diary #gym selfie #selfie #me

[katiedora]

I had my final session with the Konmari organizer yesterday, and while my room definitely isn’t done, I am feeling a lot better about my progress.

It was weird having a couple weeks off because of vacation and then covid, because I didn’t get anything done in between, but we got a lot taken care of given how bad things were looking.

Clothes - Things look way better now in my closet and wardrobe, but I still have to make some minor adjustments because a few things aren’t really practical given my day to day life.

Books - Again, things look and fit better, but I need to take some time and rearrange some shelves since we put them away by size and fit but genre and TBR status are fucked up, and I can only live with that for so long.

Papers - I’m finally feeling better about how much of this I have (plus a lot was sorted into the “to do” and “sentimental” piles), and she recommended a filing system for more important papers that I’m willing to try for now.

Komono - We were in the middle of this when we ended, but I can live with the categories for right now. We got through linens and toiletries (and I actually really like how these are stored), and I’ve got my big piles of technology and stationery supplies that will take some effort but will have a big effect when they are done. After that, I have more categories like hobbies, mugs, and tarot, plus whatever else I find, but I am comfortable with taking my time to get through those.

Sentimental - It’s possible I will encounter a few more things for this category as I got, but for now, it’s all boxed up neatly in my closet. Of the four flat bins I’ve got, I can barely imagine being able to downsize one, but I have time to get to this.

And although my in-person sessions are technically done, the organizer is still available for any questions I have, and I am excited to send her some progress photos as I go along. I might even dig into the stuff we never looked at in the basement and my car.

So overall, I’m glad I did this (v expensive) process, and now I just need to cling to the motivation to finish.

#updates #konmari

[blmpff]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 Edition

Simple, answer the questions. @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answers!

Thank you kindly for the tags @lelephantsnail and @gillianthecat ❣️ I enjoyed reading your posts as well! ❣️

(I got tagged on my main account @asdfghjklmpff but I'm answering here as I've made it my bl dedicated side blog 😊 Sorry for the wait!)

(just a heads up, I don't keep any lists nor master spread sheets or anything, I'm just writing down what comes to my head as I read the prompts)

What has been the BL that took you by surprise this year?

First that comes to mind is Eternal Yesterday that's ending this friday, I completely wasn't expecting to be so into it, as I'm more of an action packed, and fast paced shows fan, but every week I am sat with my eyes glued to the screen.

Also Big Dragon, because I was expecting it to be like The One That Shall Not Be Named Fahlaruk level of toxic and trash, but it was surprisingly layered and meaningful, with lots of nuance.

Ghost Host Ghost House started slow for me, and I even considered dropping it, but when the main couple got together their chemistry blew me away and it made me appreciate the show more. I think the show didn't do a proper build up to the second conflict, but the couple ended up talking about the issue and it kinda made it up for me. Kevin and Pleum's chemistry is definitely one of my favorites this year.

Honorable mentions: Semantic Error, Old Fashion Cupcake, Minatos's Laundromat, DNA Says Love You, Blueming, My Only 12%, More Than Words, My Tooth Your Love, My Ride, To My Star 2 (bc we all know that sequels more often than not don't live up to the previous parts, but oh god was it good)

What has been the BL that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

Plus & Minus, I did genuinely like the show, but it really threw me off with that random break up at the end, and now I don't want to rewatch it at all, even up until those last two eps....

Check Out and Fahlanruk bc yeah... (hopes and prayers that P'Jojo gives us the proper enjoyable messy show we all want and deserve, and not the annoying (gestures everywhere) whatever these two were),

Ocean Likes Me I was really looking forward to seeing Holland act, and surprisingly I did like his acting, but what I had issues with was that it felt like half the plot/story ended up on the cutting room floor and it didn't feel put together enough to draw me in. Also, idk if it was the make up, lighting, or what, but the other guy looked so pale and sick all the time to me.

The Tuxedo!!! The actors had such great chemistry in all the bts footage I saw on my socials leading up to the release I was so hyped, and then the show came and I was so let down... The story made sense, but the execution wasn't there, and the directing/scene choreography was also lacking, and overall I ended up so disappointed... (funnily enough, it was my second time seing The House that's everywhere now lol, I had no idea it's going to be in half the thai productions this year)(The first time was in The Player, and the rest is history),

Love Class, I truly enjoy kbls, but I really didn't feel that one, and I'm surprised they got a second season confirmed.

What has been your favorite BL this year?

It's impossible to choose just one ;-; also it's almost all the same as the ones that surprised me, probably that's why they're one of my favorites

Korea: Semantic Error, Blueming, and Choco Milk Shake.

Thailand: Big Dragon, Between Us (duh), Ghost Host Ghost House, Bad Buddy and Not Me (they finished airing in 2022 it counts shh), Something in My Room (yes I know it's slow as hell, but somehow it charmed me and I ended up binging it till late am on a work day. also wtf was up with that alien plot)

Japan: More Than Words, Old Fashion Cupcake, Minato's Laundromat, Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai, Seven Days,

Taiwan: DNA Says Love You, About Youth (fuck those parents tho, and the father in particular)

What are your favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

(not the order of favoritism, just who comes to my mind first)

Pat x Pran - Bad Buddy

Da-woon x Si-won - Blueming

Nozue x Togawa - Old Fashion Cupcake

Jae-young x Sang-woo - Semantic Error

Seo-joon x Ji-woo - To My Star & TMS2

Jin Xun An x Bai Lang - My Tooth Your Love

Win x Team - UMWA/BU

Choco x Milk x JungWoo - Choco Milk Shake (not a couple I know, but try and tell me I'm wrong, I dare you)

Kevin x Pleum - Ghost Host Ghost House

Cake x Eiw - My Only 12%

Qiu Zi Xuan x Xia Yu Hao - History 2: Crossing The Line

Meng Shao Fei x Tang Yi - History 3: Trapped

Igawa Shun x Hibino Nagisa - His (2020)

Dan x Yok - Not Me (it's criminal how little time they got. hehe get it?)

If you had to suggest a BL for someone what would it be?

This is going to sound the same as 99% of people I saw doing this, but it's true so here goes:

Softer ones: Semantic Error, Bad Buddy, Seven Days, Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai, Light On Me, Be Loved In House I Do, About Youth, We Best Love, Life; Love On The Line, To My Star 1 (then 2 if they're invested).

And more action packed: History 3: Trapped, Manner of Death, Long Time No See, 3 Will Be Free, KinnPorsche The Series (for VegasPete).

What's your non-BL favorite for this year?

Weak Hero Class 1, At a Distance Spring is Green (when I tell you I bawled my eyes out, and I don't cry like at all)

The Sandman, Bastard Son and The Devil Himself (recommended for all you 3 Will Be Free enthusiasts, like myself), Wendel and Wild (bc I love Coraline and it's by the same guy, also the rep)

Barbaren

I probably missed a lot, but it's long enough already 😅

As for the tags I feel like everyone's done that already, but if someone haven't yet and would like to, consider yourself tagged! <3

@loooreleii @seung-sung and @varis-world maybe, if you want to? 😊

#g2ky bl mutuals 2022 #tagged post #genuinely thank you for tagging me <3 #pardon any spelling mistakes and incoherents sentences its late x.x and my eyes hurt #but it was fun!

[brightgnosis]

Yesterday was absolutely amazing. We left pretty early in the day, but just late enough that we avoided the worst of Oklahoma City's morning rush traffic to get to the Oddities & Curiosities Expo. It was even fairly easy to find parking- though we did have to park a bit aways, around the block, at a different (paid) parking garage unassociated with that expo center. It still wasn't too far of a walk, though, all things considered.

There were so many vendors inside, it was ridiculous; I'm used to working smaller conventions and expos like Tokyo in Tulsa, or Underground Monster Carnival when I was with the Witch Hunter. I think this is the largest one I've been to? I didn't feel overly crowded, however- though there were a couple booths and areas that were poorly set up, which created unnecessary bottlenecks. I also had to save my old Covenmate a few times when it got too crowded in areas. But overall I did surprisingly well ... I handled it a lot better than I did the Bluegrass Festival back in September.

To be fair, though, that was a whole week of hyperstimulation and we were camped right next to a stage that played music damned near 24 / 7. So I think anything would've been better than that no matter how much fun I actually had.

We got to watch Cydeshow Cy perform, which was really neat; I've seen a few sideshow performances- one of which always did Underground Monster Carnival, whom I was friends with for a bit. Sword Swallowing's pretty common in them. But he did a couple tricks I'd never seen before, and his stage presence and jokes were pretty great. It made it a unique performance that I really enjoyed.

I was originally only going to take $100 with me to the Expo, but we wound up overpaying on rent this month thinking we owed more back pay that we actually did. So my Husband suggested I take the extra $100 with me as well. Which meant I came home with quite a few goodies:

⭲ A gorgeous pair of Femur Earrings with Copper Tape detailing, plus two bundles of Incense ('Garden of Eden' and 'Altar') from the Black.Moth booth located out of Tulsa, Oklahoma

⭲ A lovely stick shaped Wooden Spoon with a carved leaf from The Village Witch booth, out of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

⭲ A Nazar talisman / amulet to hang up, from a booth whose card I seem to have lost sadly

⭲ A set of wooden Witch's Runes (plus a printed reference guide) from the Prism Moon booth, located on the Missouri side of Kansas City

⭲ Two prints from the Grave Markings booth (the 'Two Headed Snake' + 'Skull Burst' prints); no idea where they're located out of

⭲ And obviously a T-Shirt from the Expo itself

I didn't spend all $200, but I came pretty close to it; I think I left the expo with like $40 left in total; I had plans to come home and immediately snag a two-headed cat necklace that I'd seen at Stephan Webb's booth (Albuquerque, New Mexico)- and I do still want it really bad, along with an amazing snake necklace he had ... But they'll unfortunately have to wait a little longer since this morning I signed up for the Reclaiming Your Slavic Heritage and Magic class collaboration between Sea Grape Apothecary and Vlasta Pilot of Gentle Hearts Unite.

Unlike the Jewish Magic and Healing Arts classes I want to take, I don't know when the class will be offered again. So while I can save for those over time, I should probably jump on this one while I have the chance; same with the Ukrainian Seasonal Magic classes they'll be hosting over the course of the year as well- which I also really want to take but need to save for now, too, because it's $130 for the bundle currently; it looks more like $200+ originally, so I have no idea how long that'll last and the Winter class starts in January. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyways: Before we left Oklahoma City, we also stopped by the Eastern European Grocery Store that I found last month through this Tik Tok. It was such a cute little store, and the woman who owns it seemed really nice (and very confused about who filmed the Tik Tok, ha). I spent another near $100 easily picking out a few safer things to try since I couldn't get the visual translation app to work and most everything was packaged without dual translation.

⭲ Polish Brine Pickled flavored with Dill and Horseradish

⭲ 3 Packages of frozen Piroschki (Apple, Sour Cherry, and Potato)

⭲ A box of Green Tea with Cardamom,

⭲ A loaf of Ukrainian Rye Bread

⭲ A jar of Linden Honey

⭲ Two other things of Tea I actually can't read (one's ingredients are "Fermented Willow-Herb and Thyme" and the other is "Fermented Willow-Herb and Sea Buckthorn Berries")

⭲ A bottle of non-alcoholic Kvas Soda

Today I'm not in nearly as much pan as I thought I'd be. But I've definitely drowned myself in a pound of Pine Oil and Tylenol Arthritis Strength 🤣😭 My legs are killing me the worst. But I didn't push flair like I expected myself to! So progress, huzzah!

#Personal #Daily Life #2022 #Ancestral Connections #Religion and Magic

[galactic-pirates]

Strange New Worlds - Episode 1

Paramount+ launched in the UK yesterday. As a side note I have a small amount of amusement as whomever designed the Disney+ website, did this one - they are identical! Anyway, the moment I finished the episode I had to login to raid so didn't have time to ramble. Let's see if I can remember stuff I thought!

So it's been 3 months since Discovery season 2 finale and Pike sure can grow a long beard in that time. I don't quite know what the logic was for showing that woman at Pike's cabin (establishing Pike is a ladies man??) especially as that's a recognisable actress and according to IMDB that's her only appearance in the show. Very strange (no pun intended haha).

Anyway, moving on. T'Pring has some major thirst for Spock. Although I confess my initial thought was why were they kissing with their mouths? I guess that was for the benefit of the casual audience as it would have made more sense as Vulcan's for their hands to be being all sensual. I read some dates and her "I won't chase you across the galaxy" kinda makes sense as isn't it like 8 years or something until the Kirk vs Spock pon farr fight?

Let's see what is next. Oh! I enjoyed the fact that Enterprise is getting patched up from the battle, all the crew are on leave unless needed, and Number One was like "nope, give me another ship I'm bored" as I got some major Eve Baird vibes from that. I watched the Librarians show premiere AGAIN the other day (I love it so much) and Eve's all "but sir what am I supposed to do for a month??" so yes very good.

Ortegas on the conn is something I want to see more of, with her dry wit of "why is it always when I'm in the Captain's chair" plus it's just the humour as well of the Captain, the first officer, Spock (who's basically second in command) just all on the away mission. Like yes lets just send our entire leadership down and hope nothing bad happens!

Oh I adored the humour and the banter between Chapel and M'Benga when they were chasing that guy around the ship. I also loved the little peek at Uhura's character. The dude was freaking out and she just chatted to him about something from his planet and totally put him at ease. Chapel practically didn't have to sedate him to be honest.

I haven't got a satisfactory answer off google and so I remain confused. Of all the characters (apart from Pike and Spock) then La'an was the one that got the most fleshing out this episode, so I'm guessing her backstory is going to be important to the seasons overall plot. However, I still don't get whether she's related to Khan or related to the scientists that created Data, or is it both? I watched Picard and when they went back to 2024 the Soong then pulled out a file which seemed to hint at Khan.

Speaking of 2024 I had a "can't quite believe they went there" moment when they showed footage with 'audit the vote' as a precursor to the second civil war and then world war three. To be honest that made me more scared than anything because it feels a bit too possible. While I would like the Star Trek future, I definitely don't want the nuclear armageddon they endured to get there.

Ok back to Pike and his soul-searching. Every now and then I find random bits on my hard drive and apparently after season 2 of Discovery I started a Pike fanfic. I had a "I don't remember this place" when I found the doc but it's a thing. Interestingly I had Pike as a prisoner in jail having done something very reckless because "if I know how I'm going to die, then my day is not today and nothing really matters" and then I was building up to basically Number One sitting on him and reaffirming what Cornwell said which is "you can't think like that, because knowing your fate doesn't give you God-like powers to just live through anything" as a bit of a reality check. This time it was a bit more subtle and La'an and Spock provided the nudge but it seems Pike got to a similar sort of headspace in the end.

There wasn't really enough Number One in this for me, and with her being the focus of the rescue mission (and then her injury) she didn't get to do anything badass either. However, I have seen some gifs and I know her moment to shine will come.

I liked the thing about consequences. I dislike that Starfleet command are idiots that don't understand them but I'm glad that Pike did. General Order Number One (aka the Prime Directive) shouldn't be a license not to clean up their own messes. As Pike said they had already interfered, so they needed to try and make it as positive as possible. The warp weapon wasn't part of their 'natural development' so letting them blow themselves up with it shouldn't be either. So good for Pike, but a bad look for Starfleet.

This was a solid episode. It had a good plot. There was some good character stuff, some humour. I wanted more but then I always do. I think they could have cut a few minutes of Pike and Spock at the start and given them to the other crew, but I'm hoping that Ortegas and the others will get their time in future episodes. That's the problem with decent ensemble casts, they'd need to double episode lengths to really give them the time they deserve.

Oh! One last thing I actually googled this after to make sure I hadn't misheard and I hadn't - Shuttle 'Stamets' I screamed because what a cool reference! I love Stamets and it was a nice nod. I mean as far as most people are concerned Discovery either never existed or was destroyed (I'm a bit fuzzy on which given the spore drive and wiping that from the records). But either way a little memorial to Stamets who is probably thought dead was nice.

I'm going to give this I think a 4/5 rating. That might go up or down on rewatches as sometimes context makes me feel differently about stuff. However, generally it was as positive and awesome as I'd hoped! Thus far I'm not disappointed and as I've kinda over-hyped this in my head, I am so relieved about that!

#star trek: strange new worlds

[poetka]

Day 2 of having a very good day for no reason... should I be scared?

Had a pretty similar workday compared to yesterday, worked on my thesis the whole day (finished polishing the introduction according to the feedback I got and updated some diagrams). Notably my team took a full hour for breakfast which is kinda crazy but okay 🤷‍♀️ (The new oats I bought taste kinda weird btw. I wish I'd gone to a Polish store and bought some good ones or maybe płatki orkiszowe or żytnie.) I went home late anyway because I wanted to finish numbering the references for the intro. Had that ⅔ of a burger and the few fries that were left for lunch plus a tasty albeit not the freshest salad. Also rediscovered that some articles in Polityka have audio recording versions so listened to those while having mindless moments at work.

Right after coming home made a nice Asian fusion (?) soup from leftover veggies. Added ginger, chillies, soy sauce and oyster sauce along with carrots, leek, cabbage, onion, garlic, regular herbs and spices, and when the broth was ready, took out everything and added some peanut butter and leftover coconut milk. Got too hungry to wait so I ate a hummus + radish sandwich. Fried an omelette and also fried the carrots and cabbage from the broth with some soy sauce to add to the soup when serving. Cooked three types of noodles: egg, rice, and wheat. All this while catching up on some chill youtube vlogs/commentary. Then I realised it was already 7pm and I had spent the last 2 hours in the kitchen.

Went upstairs to finish downloading the last few episodes of CQL that had an error before. Realised the last 6 eps downloaded without subs and redownloaded them. The laptop was working really slowly so cleaned it up a bit afterwards.

Had a nice 25 mins of pilates / stretching which made me feel really relaxed - need to this every day forrrreal. Took a shower but decided to skip washing my hair and just hoped for the best when applying dry shampoo.

Anyway the thing is, what I really mean (🎶👩‍🎤) is that I feel a bit guilty about my day going so smoothly when I know my friend who is in a similar situation but worse (barely started the thesis) is having a bad day every day. I don't want to say that I'm doing well so I'm just not mentioning that at all and looking for things that I can complain about too. But then am I making it about myself if they just want a listener? It's a nightmare. But my day was still really good even though the weather was bad today and I can't explain this mood with yesterday's lovely weather. Honestly haven't felt this way in like. I can't even remember when was the last time? And I'm overall in probably the most stressful moment of my life?? I'm kinda scared that flying this high will end up in a bad crash.

#the experiment is going interestingly. still no idea what's causing this #the experiment being writing it down to see patterns #the only pattern i can see so far is that i talk about food a lot

[nehswritesstuffs]

Sounds like you having lots of fun things to write about 😊I wish I could read your One Piece fics but I haven’t ever watched that show (I’m sure it’s good though) 😄No worries if not but any Whouffaldi fic updates soon?🙂

To answer the last part of the ask first: I plan on it, but I also plan on there being a lot more updates during the year-end holidays, so there’s a bit of hoarding that shall commence until later on in the month and December. There is actually a plan lol pls be patient or the groove will be thrown off

Now the rest of this is going to be me as a not-quite-One Piece-evangelist, because it is one of those things that I recommend with a HUGE caveat, and not for the reason people think.

A lot of people fear it because it’s so long (I just read the newest chapter, 1066, early yesterday morning and sobbed like a baby). That’s actually not the thing I warn against the most! If you can read long-form fics like The Time That We Love Best or The Thick of UNIT, or are able to sit through long and storied shows like Doctor Who, then I don’t think the length is what’ll be the potential problem.

It’s that the series is rather high on the Anime Bullshit Scale.

What is the Anime Bullshit Scale? It’s a scale that goes anywhere from low on the list with slice of life and mild whimsy (Kiki’s Delivery Service, Chii’s Sweet Home, Yotsuba&!, etc) to balls-to-the-wall-runs-on-nonsenseoleum (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Excel Saga, etc). One Piece is not at the tip-top of the scale due to some genuinely emotional and grounded moments, but it’s staggeringly up there thanks to how wacky it gets. There are even some people who really love anime who can’t go too high on the scale, and that’s fine, and I think not knowing about this scale is what creates bad recommendations that turn people off to anime and manga as a whole. You don’t go straight into Attack on Titan as your first anime, more like Cowboy Bebop or Azumanga Daioh, since those are milder than some of the other offerings. Not unless you’ve got a very specifically-tailored rec, such as Sakamoto Days if you’re a fan of John Wick (or so I’ve heard; never seen the Wicks), despite it being up there on the Scale.

Did you like Sailor Moon as a kid? Maybe up through the Ancient Egypt arc of Yu-Gi-Oh? Most of Naruto ‘cause we don’t talk about that show’s filler? Maybe you enjoyed stuff like Chowder or The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack or the Amazing World of Gumball or even a good chunk of early Spongebob Squarepants? Chances are that you might like One Piece. Personally, my attention is usually better with reading, so I’m a mostly-manga person (and there’s many websites with decent-to-great quality scans and translations that beat what I had available to me in high school, so you don’t have to worry about buying +100 volumes if your budget/living space isn’t ready or your local library isn’t carrying it (despite not being the longest manga series, it is the best-selling, so don’t feel bad)), but there is something to be said about watching. Go with the Funimation dub (which I think is on Crunchyroll and Netflix). It does have a bit of filler and it does exaggerate... erm... certain artwork quirks a bit more, but it is overall fairly loyal and coherent in comparison to the manga. Plus the pace is different--more cinematically measured in a way--and you can leave it on in the background if that’s what you need.

(Please take this time to pour one out for Mayumi Tanaka and Colleen Clickenbeard’s vocal chords, holy fcking shit.)

So, yeah, I do recommend One Piece if you’ve got a tolerance for wacky and long-form and lots of emotions everywhere. It’s pretty easy to start too: just go with chapter and/or episode one. Then you too can confuse the hell out of people by making references to it out of context, like saying how Worst Hypnotist Michael Jackson’s best friend is a wine pun who he met by defeating in a dance battle and now they simp together because that’s what bros do, naturally.

#replies #Greyface replies #listen here: I did not fall in love with this thing at thirteen for nothing #without One Piece then you would have never gotten Whouffaldi fic in the long run for a variety of reasons #nor DW/TTOI longform crackshipping #so sorry folks you're just gonna have to deal with me trying to multifandom real hard #I've actually gotten back into reading manga lately and so now I've caught up on a couple new series #I won't be a fool and try to keep up with Shounen Jump again but I will go and read what I want #though as you can tell I'm probably chock full of anime recs you never wanted lololol

[kxijuno]

I feel like a burden. To my family, to my friends, to everybody. I feel worthless

TW - slight mentions of self harm and abuse!!!

please don't read if you are sensitive to these topics, i just wanted to share some problems of mine and seek advice!

Hello! I'm Kai, (12F), currently in 8th grade. I'm a pretty average student, good at maths and science. I study in a really great school (which is prioritizing mental health) Well I have a problem, relating to my studies and behavior.

First I want to talk about my study problems and seek advice on this- When ever I get *severely* burnt out, it's very hard for me to be productive like one day i will be productive, the next day a very lazy person. I hate this but it's normal so I can't really say anything about it.

but.. i have an extremely toxic mindset that I have been trying to get rid of for such a long time but it isn't going away,

*abuse mentioned here*

whenever I'm burnt out, this loud inner voice in my head hurts me, physically and mentally. It is so hard to avoid it. It tells me not to eat and I don't eat till i practically cry. I hurt my self, I have a lot of bruises, arms mainly.

I have a traumatic past, an abusive dad, physically mentally emotionally and verbally abusive. He makes it hard for me to live. I've been in a deep depression in 2020 but I've gotten back in a healthy life. I am distracted a lot w other things so I don't think about the past but flashbacks and stuff do occur often. It is hard for me to ignore this. My dad makes me feel like everything is my fault, hence I have a habit of saying sorry a lot. It makes my friends mad that I say sorry too much.

Now I'll be talking about my behavior since the past 8 and a half months.

I moved away 8 months ago because of my mom's job. We are in a new area, I have a lot of friends. I go out w them, have fun and all. It's amazing really. But the problem is, I have started a habit of swearing in front of my family too (really bad swears), bullying (i have never been this way), making fun of people (only if they aren't good at studies, I do not shame people for bodies, interests etc)

Main thing is, I have completely changed, in fact my anger issues (I've had those since I was 4) have gotten extremely worse. I want to change. I hate this version of my self. I do not like this. Yesterday my mom confronted me about this. She has been talking to me about since the past 3-4 months since it's gotten worse. It makes me want to kms.

I absolutely do not enjoy being this way, I don't think it's cool or makes me awesome or anything.

Can somebody help me w advice on this?

I would really like to be back to my old self when I wasn't ever this way, if it makes sense. Please give me any advice if you guys have some, anything would help. I'm really trying but it makes me feel unworthy, shitty and overall suicidal

I just need help, but everyone around me is either too busy or I can't approach them about this, especially my bestfriend.

Plus guess what, reddit isn't working so I can't post this to r/askreddit

😔🤝🏻

#mental wellbeing #ask tumblr #mentally drained #burnout #seeking advice

[dollwritesarchive]

Hi i hope you're doing okay?? Saw bad stuff happened the other day :(

yyyeeeaaahh it was a rough one! i am feeling much better now! Thank you so much for asking 🥰 I’ll put what happened under the cut bc it’s just kinda a lot and I understand not wanting a bunch of buzzkills on your dash!!

Yesterday morning I wake up to the sound of my sister screaming and when I looked out the window, she and my dog were being attacked by two off leash pit bulls. My dog is pretty beat up :/ I think her leg is broken, but she’s doing better. my sister was also bit so we’re trying to find the people who own the dogs to try and talk to them because we really don’t want to jump right on calling the cops or animal control because I know, as the owner of a dog who is extremely territorial myself, that dogs just… do what dogs do. It just sucks because we haven’t been able to find them yet, and pretty sure what happened is that their owner left their door open, so when my sister was walking nova, and they passed near the apartment, the two pits busted through the open door and attacked.

a couple hours later I get a call from the state attorney about the fact that this dude carjacked me back in November (jumped in the car with me at 1 am, forced me out, and wrestled with me over my moms medication in her purse because I wasn’t about to let this creep take my moms heart pills ???) and basically he applied for some probation program which I’m… lowkey pissed about lol I’m all for him getting the help he needs but he has attempted kidnapping charges from where he was trying to pull the bag back in the car with me holding on to it and I’m just like… okay but we’re just gonna what give him an ankle monitor??

plus, my sister had her abortion yesterday (it was the chemical one, with the pills?), which really was awful to watch because she was in so much pain and throwing up and like idk I’m a really protective person so I’m not exactly down to see people I care about in peril ya know?

SO YEAH

The overall vibes of yesterday were pretty foul 😭

But it is much better today, she’s doing better and so is nova ❤️