Lost 4 lbs of fat since I’ve been here & I’ve gotten so tan, I wish I could live here forever
Sunday the 5th of April 2020
Meals of the day
- Tomato salad, vegan sausages, sweet potato and regular potato
- Avocado toast + a cucumber, tomatoes, avocado, onion and corn salad.
- Chocolate pudding
I had once again a hungover today. 😅
Friday night I went to bed around 3p.m. and yesterday around 4p.m. oups… But I don’t really care, I am on holidays since a few days so I slacked a bit with my diet and did not move my body a lot but sometimes it feels right to be lazy. 😂
However, next week I am going to be back on tracks and try to be as productive as possible. I was supposed to go hiking in Germany with a friend but since the corona virus thing happened it was cancelled so instead I am going to try to do other useful stuff around the house, pamper myself and relax as much as possible. 😊
Thinking about joining weight watchers (specifically the workshop + digital plan). Anyone have any pros or cons?
Motivated to finish my work out by the fact that it was the last one of the week.
And manage a great avarage pace on my run. I’m becoming addicted to the results of running 5x a week gives you, which may or may not be a problem.
Now time to relax, recharge, bake a coffee cake and do some gardening.
Might also get drunk.
I’m trying to fill my days productively and with self improvement and it’s going well.
Found these in a store and said “screw it, why not try them”. I’ve tried the Wake It Up bar so far and I can say it’s seriously yummy. It’s a great breakfast bar to have with maybe oatmeal or a casein protein drink, but definitely something you eat at breakfast or before a workout as the caffeine will have you bouncing off walls…
Thursday the 2nd of April 2020
- Almond butter spread, red berries and cinnamon on a toast
- Tofu balls, green peas, snap peas and sweet potato
- Potato, wild garlic sausage, avocado and cherry tomatoes
- 90% dark chocolate and crackers
- 4.5km run
Didn’t do a run yesterday because of the weather, so I stayed in and did a HIIT workout.
Today, however, was clear blue skies and fields of wildflowers for my view! I couldn’t help but soak it all in! ☀️💐
What are you doing today??
new favorite outfit maybe?
Starting my weight loss journey at 192.6 lbs, which is a 53.6 lb increase since August 2018 (when I met my fiance 🙄) Starting today, April 1st 2020, I’m going to be holding myself accountable and try to start the process of getting to my GW of 150 lbs!
🦉 ATTN: FELLOW NOCTURNAL BEINGS!!!🦉
Would you be interested in joining me for an after hours live 35 min workout?!?
My goal is help others who may be struggling with sleeping during “normal hours” while we’re all in lockdown.
Let me know in the comments below or send me a direct messsage!
I hope you all are staying indoors, sanitizing and staying calm. Healthy and safety to you all.
Peace & Love
Last few days
Here are some meals I had over the last few days. 😁 I was mainly at my bf’s place so that’s the reason why I did not post that much.
Have you ever wanted something so bad, it intrudes you’re dreams. I literally had a nap about doing squats.
A poem I wrote on how I sometimes feel.
I can’t stand what I see.
I’m never thin enough,
Or pretty enough.
I see only the ugly on me.
I feel way to heavy,
Like I am a thousand pounds.
I eat too little to feel better,
But then I rebound.
I eat too much to silence my mind.
I’ll never be good enough, will I?
I’m broken down.
I’m tired now.
I avoid the mirrors like a plague…
And I shy of my reflection.
I hate when people take photos of me,
I am not looking or standing where I want to be.
The angle makes me look obese,
And later you will make fun of me.
I see all these beautiful girls plastered on magazines and tv….
I wonder why that couldn’t be me?
I exercise day and night,
Am I doing this right?
They told me sore today,
Today I’m awfully sore,
And I have bruises on my spine,
From doing sit-ups on the floor.
Pain is just weakness and fat leaving.
Except when I awaken
I’m too sore to even move.
I look down at my body….
And what I see I do not like.
I do not understand
How I got this way….
I will take more diet pills…
And hope it burns the fat away.
I see the annoyance that I am
To all my family and my friends.
I scare them.
I worry them.
I do not mean to do that.
She says the same thing to me day after day…
Night after night…
“Oh, how I wish you could see yourself the same way we do. Only then you would understand how much we love you.”
I am making this blog to write, rant, and track my weight loss journey. See, I gained a lotttttt of weight. I went from being 150 up to 225-230. Not good, at all…
I started my weight loss journey in about or around March of last year? I started it because I knew I was unhealthy and I did not like what I saw. I was uncomfortable in my own skin.
I cut out certain things.
I lowered my intake on others (chocolate, baby, I’m sorry. We still good though, boo!).
I drink more water. Tea. Coffee (black, literally to match my soul. Aesthetic.)
Watched youtubers who have workout channels and copied them.
Did my own little workouts.
I dance. Like an idiot. A complete dork, I cannot dance but since I dance alone, I am the greatest dance alive. A dancing queen. Bow before me.
I weighed myself about 3 days ago, March 26 2020 anddd I came in at 175.
My goal is back to 150, where I use to be. And then from there I want to reach the weight limit that is best for someone of my height. (As I said previously, I doubt anyone will read these but if someone does, please know that I am careful. I do not plan on going below weight levels that are unhealthy. I have a best friend who would literally snap my neck like she was Thanos.)
I’m quite happy about the loss. I am quite happy of the number 175. I have 25 more to shed until I reach the 150 goal.
It’s hard, we all know that.
And sometimes it is frustating. My mind loves to be very rude to me. It likes to tell me things like
“You will never be good enough.”
“You’ll just gain it all back.”
“It doesn’t matter. You still have stretch marks. Cellulite. Sooo, why bother?”
I could literally go on and on and on about the remarks my brain says. I do get rather upset sometimes about it. I feel like I am not losing weight. I wake up some days and I feel as though I gained about 30 overnight. I look at my thick thighs and just get upset. (Another story there, with people in my family who enjoy fatshaming.)
Just need to learn to ignore the negative thoughts that race through my head (and if you are reading this, ignore the negative thoughts racing through your head as well. My loves, you are all beautiful. Fight the demons in your mind. You can win.)
I started this for … me. To go back on and read, see photos and what have you … to know that I did it. To show my ups. And my downs.
It’s life, baby, we are all on a rollercoaster.
Buckle up, buttercup.
Cuz’ Imma be screaming.
Decided to revamp my Tumblr so I deleted a lot of old posts coz I feel like they weren’t me anymore (left some so I have something to look back on 🙂). This post marks the start of me recording my weight gain journey, my SOA exam experiences, my graduate studies adventure and more! Here. I. Go!
No picture today as I was running a bit behind. Got up early enough to get a run in before logging into a conference call. But my lazy butt had a hard time getting out the door.
Managed to get Arwen and I ready and out for run. She zoomed through the first have dragging me along, and I set the pace the second half somewhat dragging g her along. Overall we make a good team.
March, 29 - 2020.
Been a while, not much to say honestly. Just in lockdown, eating, watching Netflix/Hulu/YT. Then eventually working out. Been getting hungrier last couple weeks been averaging 137lbs. Trying to eat more wanna push to about 143lbs..? Thoo, as much as I eat it’s still not enough.
Getting tougher since I hardly wanna go out to the store with the whole cornoavirus going on.
Other than that work outs are going good. Getting stronger and lifting more etc..
‘Till next time.
Took Arwen on a slightly longer run today. We were able to get in about two miles before she started to poop out.
She is currently hiding under the bed, but no worries as soon as there is food she will find all of her missing energy :)
As for me I am feeling pretty good. Can definitely tell that I lack the endurance I use to have, and since I haven’t been exercising that isn’t surprising. Overall though it felt good to get out and run.