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jule1122 · 11 months

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Malex Fic - I can’t get the language right

This is a late response to the May prompt of ‘Missing Mom’ on @alexguerinappreciation.

I can’t get the language right on AO3

Title from “Part of the Band” by The 1975

Summary: It’s a generic card - drawing of a wedding cake on the front, one line message inside - “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.” But it’s the signature that leaves both of them speechless. Loopy handwriting in blue pen spells out “Love, Mom.”

When Alex and Michael get back from their honeymoon, Isobel has their mail separated into three piles labeled - “might be important,” “probably junk,” and “cards: do NOT throw these away. Rosa wants to make you something and she will kill me if you throw these away.”

“Nice to know there’s someone your sister is afraid of,” Alex laughs when he reads the note.

“Do you want to be the one to tell Rosa we forgot about the personalized gift she wants to make us?” Michael asks.

“Nope,” Alex says quickly. Rosa had been very clear about what she wanted, and Alex couldn’t wait to see what she created for them.

They don’t bother with the mail until after they’ve showered and had dinner. The junk and maybe important piles are dealt with quickly since most of the mail marked as important is also junk. They open the cards together, Alex recording them in a notebook Maria gave him for keeping track of wedding details.

Michael teases him when he brings it out. “Please tell me we don’t have to send thank you cards to people for cards.”

“No,” Alex reassures him. “It’s just nice to remember.”

Michael’s expression softens, and he squeezes Alex’s hand before opening the first card. It’s not a big pile, most everyone who mattered was at the wedding. Some are from people Alex works with at Deep Sky, there are a few from people he served with although he’s not sure how they even know he’s married, there are names Michael recognizes from odd jobs he’s done over the years, and one signed from Linsday with a heart over the “i,” who Michael once had a month long friends with benefits relationship with.

The card after Lindsay’s is addressed to “Alex Manes and Spouse.” Michael laughs when he reads it, “Maybe this is from one of you exes.”

“Not likely,” Alex snorts, watching while Michael flips the card over and carefully opens it.

It’s a generic card - drawing of a wedding cake on the front, one line message inside - “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.” But it’s the signature that leaves both of them speechless. Loopy handwriting in blue pen spells out “Love, Mom.”

“Guess it’s yours after all,” Michael tries to joke. When Alex doesn’t react, he clears his throat and starts again. “Did you?”

“No,” Alex jumps in, “I didn’t.” He doesn’t finish, but Michael nods, understanding what he doesn’t say. Maybe if the wedding hadn’t been a rush, if they had really planned any of it, he would have thought about his mother. But he never would have done anything without talking to Michael.

Michael turns the envelope back over and studies it. “Surprised she kept your dad’s name,” he says, tapping at the return address.

“M. Manes” is written in the same blue pen above an address Alex knows is about an hour from Greg’s. He’s not surprised she’s so close since Greg told him he’d met her for dinner a few times. The name is a surprise though. “I didn’t know. She never,” Alex trails off and sighs.

“It’s ok,” Michael says softly, reaching over and taking Alex’s hand. “Let’s see what else we got.”

Alex sets the card from his mother aside, separate from the pile they are saving for Rosa. But when Michael reaches for the next card, Alex stops him. It feels wrong to continue. Going through cards was supposed to be fun, another chance to remember their wedding, but now there is a weight over them, the specter of his mother and things left unsaid.

“I’ll be right back,” Alex tells Michael then walks back to his office. Once there, he takes a manila envelope out of the bottom drawer. He hates that this is all he has to show Michael, not even enough to put in a box. But it’s all he has, and he knows Michael will understand.

Michael is waiting at the table when Alex gets back, but he’s cleared away the mail and all the cards, but the one from his mother. He gives Alex an encouraging smile when he sits back down.

“She never included an address before,” he explains as he takes four cards out of the envelope and places them on the table. “I never knew where she was.”

Michael nods, but doesn’t pick up the cards. “You talked to her, though right? About Project Shepherd?”

“Yes, but I didn’t call her directly. I left a message with one of her cousins, and she called me back from a private number. It wasn’t,” Alex hesitates, not sure how to explain. Michael knows he could have traced the number if he wanted to, but he hadn’t. “It wasn’t a personal conversation.”

When Michael doesn’t reach for the cards, just waits to see what Alex wants to do, Alex hands them to him one by one. He keeps them in chronological order and lets Michael know when each was sent. “When I started high school,” he says when he hands Michael the first card in the pile.

Michael turns the envelope over in his hand, looks to see as Alex has said there was no return address. He’s careful with the card, gently pulling it from the envelope and returning it with just as much care once he’s read it. It only takes a few seconds to see what is there, or more glaringly what isn’t there.

“My sixteenth birthday, graduation, this one came when I was in rehab,” he hands the last card over to Michael, aware how small the pile of four cards must seem. There are all simple, basic messages - “Good Luck,” “Happy Birthday,” "Congratulations” and “Get Well Soon.” The insides are bare save whatever generic message the card came with and the same signature each time, “Love, Mom.” There are no personal messages, not even his name written inside.

When Michael hands them back to him, hands gentle as if they are somehow precious, he adds, “She sent me a sympathy card after Dad died. I threw it away.”

That gets a laugh and smile from Michael before he turns serious again. “Do you think there were more Jesse never gave you?”

“No.” The answer’s easy because Alex thought about this a lot when he was younger. “Dad was really weird about Mom. Once she was gone, he never spoke about her, not once. I remember one morning we woke up and she wasn’t there, Dad got us ready and took us to school, and when we got home, everything of hers was gone. He told us she had left and wasn’t coming back, and that was that.”

“You must have had questions,” Michael prompts him.

“Yeah, but by then we knew not to ask. He never talked about her, but he never criticized her either, just pretended she never existed. But when the cards came - Clay was the first one - he just handed them to us and walked away. It was hard to figure out the pattern, we all got the same ones, and every time Dad just gave them to us.”

“That is weird for Jesse,” Michael agrees.

“I think he loved her, as much as he could love. They were together before Tripp died, before Harlan fed him his poisoned theories and brought him into Project Shepherd. Maybe that’s why she stayed as long as she did, she remembered who he was before.” Alex shrugs. He’s not sure any of that matters. His mother left and his father was abusive. How their story started doesn’t change any of that.

Alex picks up the card and stares at the return address before setting it down with a sigh.

“Why do you think she included her address this time?”

“She’s been talking to Greg, maybe he convinced her to let me know where she is.” The uncharitable part of Alex wondered if she knew Greg would tell him if he asked so there was no point in hiding, but he doesn’t say that out loud.

“What do you want to do?”

“What can I do?” Alex asks. “It’s been over twenty years. Am I just supposed to show up at her house and what, talk?”

“Maybe, if that’s what you want,” Michael shrugs. “Maybe this is her way of reaching out, of letting you know she’s ready.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready.” It comes out sharper than he intended - brittle and defensive. Alex sighs, hating how emotional he still gets when he thinks about his mother.

“Then you’re not ready,” Michael shrugs like it’s that easy. “You don’t have to be ready just because she might be.”

“I don’t want to be angry,” Alex admits. Michael drops a hand to his thigh and squeezes gently, silently encouraging him to continue. “Leaving was the right decision. I understand why she did it, and I’m glad she got out, that she didn’t have to suffer.”

“That she didn’t have to suffer like you did,” Michael finishes for him quietly.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “It was the right decision for her, I know that. Hell, if anyone should understand, it should be me. I did the same thing to you - left you behind when I couldn’t stand to stay.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Michael cuts him off quickly. He doesn’t sound angry, just frustrated. “I had my own ways out, I made my own decision to stay. You didn’t leave me in his house, at his mercy. You were my boyfriend, Alex, not,” Michael stops, runs a hand through his hair and takes a breath. “You were my boyfriend, not my mother. You weren’t responsible for my safety. You can understand why she left and still be hurt and angry that she left you behind.”

“She didn’t have a choice,” Alex shakes his head. “Dad never would have let us go. His wife leaving was bad enough, but he would have fought her, brought us back one way or another. She did the right thing.”

“Alex,” Michael says, then he waits, infinitely patient.

“I don’t want to be angry,” Alex finally repeats because it’s the only thing he knows. When he thinks about seeing his mother, all he can imagine is all the pain and hurt he’s been hiding coming out in accusations and recriminations. It scares him,and he doesn’t want to be that person.

“She might have done the best thing for her, but it doesn’t mean it was the right thing for you. It’s alright to be angry,” Michael says gently. “It’s alright to not want to see her or talk to her. She might be ready to reach out, but it doesn’t mean you are. It’s up to you, not her, how you respond or if you just want to ignore it.”

“Up to me?” Alex laughs. Something about that brings some of his anger to the surface, but he’s not afraid because he knows it’s safe with Michael. “None of this has ever been up to me. She left - no goodbye, no note. She was just gone. And by the time I got used to that, she sent Clay the first card. I thought she was coming back, but she didn’t. And every time, even after I knew better, I’d start looking for her. At the grocery store, in the school parking lot, in the stands at Greg’s basketball games, at my graduation. But she was never there. This is all I have of her,” Alex picks the cards up and shoves them back in the envelope. “I don’t know what they mean. I never have.”

“Hey,” Michael takes the envelope from Alex’s hands and sets it back on the table. “Let’s leave this for tonight. You don’t need to do anything right now. Just come to bed, let me take care of you.”

Alex follows Michael back to their bedroom. He lets Michael hover as they get ready for bed, lets Michael hold him and whisper how much he loves him into his skin. It feels selfish, but Alex would do the same for Michael, has done the same for Michael so he stays in Michael’s arms until the hurt and anger fade away. Until he remembers that he’s loved now and that’s what matters.

Alex thinks of his mother often over the next few weeks. Time doesn’t bring clarity, he’s as conflicted about how to respond to her card as he was when he first saw it. He thinks about calling Greg, but he doesn’t want to interfere with whatever relationship Greg is trying to build with her. It’s not fair to ask Greg to interpret her motives,and he doesn’t want Greg to feel like he needs to pick sides.

He ends up in the card aisle at the grocery store trying to find a card that doesn’t say too much, isn’t a confession he’s not ready to make, before his ice cream melts. He settles on a card with a watercolor bouquet of wildflowers on the outside and the simple message, “Thinking of you” on the inside.

Michael finds the card when he’s helping Alex unload the groceries. He wrinkles his nose at the muted bouquet on the cover, “I hope this isn’t for me.”

“No,” Alex comes up behind Michael, wraps his arms around him and kisses his neck. “You know I’m always thinking about you.”

“You’d better be,” Michael teases. He turns in Alex’s arms and kisses him sweetly, then nips at his lip before going back to the groceries.

Alex takes the card and sets it on the coffee table. He goes back to the kitchen and doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t think about it while they debate about dinner before finally making pasta. Or after dinner, when they meet Isobel and Kyle at the Wild Pony.

Maria started experimenting with a trivia night while they were on their honeymoon, and Isobel convinced them to play together. She hands them T-shirts that say “Team Alien Lovers” in rainbow glitter as soon as they sit down. Michael threatens to leave until Isobel promises to pay for all their drinks. They crush the other teams and come home laughing and buzzed and Alex doesn’t think about the card at all.

He’s still not thinking about the card the next morning when Michael joins him in the shower, and he’s almost late for work. When he gets home, he can’t help but notice the bright yellow envelope on the table, but Michael comes in right behind him with take out from the Crashdown. They eat dinner outside and spend the night by the fire pit Alex had put in as a surprise for Michael. He thinks of nothing but how happy he is and how much he loves his husband.

Friday is an early day for Alex, and he’s home a few hours before Michael. He normally fills the time with chores or working on his personal research projects, but he’s too restless to settle on one thing. He moves from room to room, half heartedly starting something only to end up back in the living room staring at the blank envelope. Alex finally gives in and picks up the card, sitting at the table and intending to fill it out quickly.

He’s still there when Michael gets home. Michael must have said something when he comes in, but Alex doesn’t hear him. Instead, Michael’s hands on his shoulders are his first indication that he’s not alone. He relaxes into the touch, smiling when Michael kisses the back of his head. When Michael starts to move away, Ales grabs his hand and tugs him into the chair next to him.

Michael sits with him, one hand between his shoulder blades in support, while he flips the pen between his fingers and tries to figure out what to say.

“It’s Alex Guerin now. I took Michael’s name when we got married. He’s the best part of my life, and I want him and everyone else to know it. He’s brilliant and kind and loyal and beautiful. I want to say I know you would love him, but I don’t know. I don’t know enough about you to know how you will feel about him. I don’t know if you will care that he’s a man or that he’s not Native. I don’t know if you can love me let alone Michael.”

He thinks it, but he doesn’t write any of that.

“I feel like I should say I miss you, but I don’t know if that’s true. It’s been so long I don’t know if I miss you or if I miss the idea of you. I told Michael I don’t want to be angry, and I’m trying not to be. But sometimes anger is easier than hurt or fear. And I know I’m afraid to see you again, afraid of what I might say or feel. Afraid of what you will think of me, if you’ll be disappointed.”

He doesn’t write that or this either:

“I always wondered what happened to you. If I ran away to the Reservation, would I find you there? Or were across the country or even on another continent. Did you get married again, did you have other children? I used to imagine you married a millionaire or a prince and you would come rescue us, but you never did. I held on to that dream for a long time, longer than I should have until Dad finally beat all hope out of me. I always imagined you were happy, happier than I was. If you were then you made the right decision. You choose your safety and happiness over mine, and I always wanted to believe it was worth it even though it hurt. I don’t know if it will hurt more to find out that it’s true or to learn that you haven’t been happy, and we both suffered alone. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to find out.”

When Alex finally figures out what he does want to say, he writes it quickly before he can change his mind. Once the card is ready to go, he turns to Michael, “What now?”

Michael smiles and kisses him softly. “How about we go for a ride?”

He drives them to the post office, and waits patiently for Alex to get the courage to mail it.

“Thanks,” he says to Michael once he’s done.

Michael looks at him carefully, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I am,” Alex tells him honestly. “Let’s get out of here.”

He threads his fingers through Michael, squeezing his hand as they head back home. Alex realizes he’s looking forward to the weekend. They have no plans, but he’s sure they’ll come up with something. For tonight, they’ll cook together, spend the evening relaxing and making love. Then they’ll sleep in and wake up together and fill the hours together.

Sometime next week, his mother will get the card he sent. But now that it’s mailed, he feels nothing but relief. Maybe it will be a beginning or maybe nothing will change. Either way, Alex has said all he can for now, writing simply, “Love, Alex.”

#malex fic #rnm fic #my fic #alexguerinmonthly #alex's complicated feeling about his mother #possible reconcillation #Michael as the awesome husband he is

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ecoterrorist-katara · 2 months

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I kind of love how Zutara has two distinct ship dynamics

dynamic 1: “I will save you from the pirates,” enemies-to-lovers, Zuko is dangerous but sexy, bad boy x good girl, morally grey antihero, Dramione vibes etc

dynamic 2: Zuko is an awkward turtleduck, idiots-to-lovers, pining for your best friend, having each other’s backs, thinking she’s the coolest thing since sliced bread, Percabeth vibes etc

We can argue about which is the correct interpretation until the cows come home, but I love that the possibilities exist in the first place. From s1 to post-series headcanons there are such distinct stages in their relationship, and you can basically pick whichever point that appeals to you and run with it. There’s something for everyone. Yet another reason why they’re the best ship y’all

#In general I think women are shamed for liking the enemies to lovers dynamic bc toxic or whatever #And what I like about ZK is you don’t have to feel guilty for liking the bad boy x good girl because they get way healthier later on #but the belligerent romantic tension remains and that opens up a lot of possibilities for fan interpretation #Not that women should feel guilty for liking what they like in the first place esp in fiction #But fiction that allows you to reconcile what you should like vs what you actually like can be very cathartic #And ofc the fact that Bryke talk about ZK as if only dynamic 1 exists is baffling #I should embrace my destiny as a Bryke anti because really it’s getting out of hand #Zutara #Enemies to lovers #My meta #technically?

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stagefoureddiediaz · 4 days

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Thinking about step 9 and the whole concept of forgiveness of one’s self and others and it bringing healing and how bobby and Eddie have been paralleled a fair amount and the idea that Eddie started this process back at the end of s5 with his forgiveness and acceptance of his father but how he hasn’t yet gone anywhere near his mother and their relationship .

How his catholic guilt storyline seems more likely to play on his reltionship with his mother than his father (if his father wasn’t around that much it would’ve been Helena taking him to church etc each week) so the idea of an Eddie - Helena storyline that plays on catholic guilt and potentially his queerness in relation to that has me chewing on glass - it could be so epically good

#I’ve always viewed Helena as the biggest issue in Eddie’s relationship with his parents - Ramon has always - to me a least always seemed to #just go along with what Helena wants or dictates #it made sense with how his trauma ptsd army related arc played out that it was Ramon who was the centre of that #now though - catholic guilt - possibly playing into his queerness and suppression of that queerness #to keep some kind of reltionship with his mother - who only seems to view him through a lens of failure #leading him down a road where he wasn’t able to be his true self - it would be so powerful #there is so much potential there #eddie saying his mother wasn’t an issue in s6 - was such a choice and so pointed that they have to be wanting to explore that #so many aspects of who Eddie is and why he is the way he is - his want to nest but not being able to with women - stems from his mommy #issues and the fact he’s been denying they exist #I will eat it up - it would be the right kind of angst for the show and Ryan would deliver #plus the way it parallels with Bobby and his relationship with Catholicism would be fascinating #not to mention the whole Eddie not having a relationship with the faith he was brought up in only to start dating someone who is a literal #embodiment of that faith - and female - as a symbol of his needing to explore and reconcile the actual reasons for his faith lapsing- become #could not be queer and Latino and catholic when Eddie was growing up - it wasn’t an option - so if you step away from the faith that’s #denying a fundamental aspect of who you are #even if you still can’t act upon it - it is easier to keep that part of you concealed #911 spoilers #911 Thinky thoughts #eddie diaz #I need this arc to be a thing so badly #911 abc

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laufire · 2 months

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"batman is first and foremost about rehabilitation and the possibility of redemption for everyone-" is he. is he really, though. when he clearly believes "criminal" is some personality trait divorced from circumstances and goes around calling goons "scum" and acts as if killing once, even under extreme circumstances that are not at all their fault, taints someone forever?

#see: when he finds out cass was made to kill once as a child #he's witnessed cass's current reverence for life and yet he has a fucking meltdown about it because ''she *was* perfect''#and that's just one example.#like canon is extensive. there are examples for anything and what you cherry pick to read will influence what you believe #the truth of the matter is that the bulk of what *i* have read shows me this lol #like even in comics where he touts this line some of it (his classism and utter disdain regarding criminals for one) still shows #(often in reflection of a writer's values for sure)#and i can reconcile it as... change is something he WANTS to believe is possible. he TRIES to believe it. but he doesn't.#but i can't agree this is his core #there's also the fact that even if it was he'd often display unbelievable carelessness towards rogue's victims due to it #but that's a whole other topic #and this is all something he teaches to those under his tutelage btw. this is something all bats follow to some extent #talking to the void #my thoughts #dc #dc thoughts #dc comics #bruce wayne #i might be opening a can of worms with this one but i needed it off my chest lol

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elderwisp · 1 month

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◁ || ▷

Frances: You have it together. Any problem I’ve had, quickly resolved with a bit of advice. You always have a solution. What could possibly stress you out?

Icarus: A lot of things, actually.

Frances: Like what? A dog swallowed its chew toy again? Or a horse has fallen and it can’t get up?

Icarus: Is that all I’m reduced to?

Frances: Oh god, no, I-

Icarus: I’m sorry. I could have worded that differently.

Frances: Don’t apologize to me. What I said was cruel. I’m really sorry, that was so out of pocket.

Icarus: … You’re sorry?

Frances: Very. As I’m sure you’re aware, I can be a bit much sometimes. I know I can be insensitive and I’m working on it… [ mumbles ] Yet here I am, doing it again. To you.

Icarus: Frances-

Frances: Don’t try to downplay it, I crossed a boundary this time and I am so sorry. I recognize you’re a person as well, with feelings.

Icarus: …

Frances: Icarus…? Please say something.

Icarus: I’m sorry, I’m a bit taken back.

Frances: I said something wrong, didn’t I?

Icarus: [ shakes head ] No! No, lately a genuine apology is difficult to come by.

Frances: Well... I just think you deserve better.

Winona: Sooo… What’s going on here?

Icarus: Winona!

Winona: [ snorts ] Wait til grandma hears about this.

Icarus: Please go away.

[ clears throat ] Anyways… The piece you played-

Frances: [ flustered ] Yeah total shit I know!

Icarus: Jesus Frances! I was gonna say let’s have you play it again so we can refine it.

Frances: TRUE! I have this idea… What if I added a little vibrato?

Icarus: What’s that?

Frances: OH MY GOD, we studied this!

Icarus: I told you! Musically inept!!

#ok so some notes i like the juxtaposition between the way frances apologizes and how violet apologizes #violet only apologizes when she's recognizes there's a possibility of losing him instead of just apologizing to reconcile their #situationship it purely is for her own benefit whereas frances is recognizing there are things she needs to work on herself #specifically how she deals with stress and how it is affecting the people around her such as #lashing out on kai being extra hover-y over dan at the pub and the tone she used when speaking to atlas #gah idk this was a fun scene to shoot this was the 38 pose scene (everything was done by me besides the shot with winona)#tessellate #sims 4 story #show us your story

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drfirefly08 · 4 months

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warning: ragbros only space you fuckers

[diluc introduces his boyfriend to kaeya]

[dawn winery]

kaeya: [stares]

childe: [stares]

venti: [sipping his dandelion wine] so.. why am i here?

diluc: damage control, i would've picked rosaria or jean but rosaria would've killed ajax without a single thought and jean needs her rest, she has enough on her plate

venti: yeah alright then [continues drinking]

diluc: [sighs and looks at kaeya and childe] are you guys just gonna keep staring?

kaeya: why this fuck-tui? why a fuck-tui at all!

diluc: can you please stop calling the fatui that. i get it, i hate the fatui too, but ajax isn't that bad..

kaeya: no! not at all! he's a harbinger! he's using you obviously!

diluc: no he's not, i thought that at first but seeing him in liyue again.. he's obviously genuine about his love for me

kaeya: i don't trust him!

childe: you're the cavalry captain right? quartermaster too? you must be veryy strong! fight me!

diluc: ajax no-

kaeya: gladly! i'll beat your fuck-tui ass!

diluc: KAEYA NO-

kaeya: maybe you'll show your true colors, tartaglia! that way diluc will finally see reason

diluc: oh fucking barbatos, why must kaeya be so fucking protective... oh! VENTI, HELP ME OUT

venti: nah they'll be fine

diluc: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DAMAGE CONTROL YOU DAMN BARD

venti: i thought you found childe fighting hot

diluc: NOT AGAINST MY BROTHER!!!

#firefly ramblings #firefly headcanons #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #diluc ragnvindr #ragbros #genshin venti #genshin childe #chiluc #ragbros are super protective of each other but like they act like it in the most worst ways possible #like once theyre fully reconciled they are very willing to commit the most horrendous crimes in existence just so the other is okay and saf #ik kaeya is just fighting childe here which isnt that bad but i just wanted to mention it

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fellhellion · 1 year

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Something something both A and N engage in self alienation (from one's nature/past) to cope with trauma

#i was going to make a joke about how funny it is that A is living in the self delusion of thinking that in no longer being human they can #abandon all that they associate w their humanity (emotions and the trau #trauma* associated w them) when theyre STILL like that. still arrogant and self assured and all thats changed is that youre telling #yourself a story that allows you to ignore any possibility of change and remain in stasis forever <3 #ONLY for me to realise N does a very similar thing. notably #they try very hard to reconcile humanity to their current vampiric self and arent so much alienated from HUMANITY as they are from their #past and the person they were. theyre extremely alienated from the person they once were on account of tragic backstory #where A purposely alienates themself from identifying w the nature they believe brought ruination to the people they loved #N alienates themself from the person they once WERE and in doing so can never truly move forward from it #the wayhaven chronicles #tunes talks wayhaven #the brainrot i have for this series....unreal

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worstloki · 10 months

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something very horrifying about the concept of Thor but not Loki being told that Loki is Jotun when the brothers are old enough to understand the importance of the secret

#so he gets to watch Loki be unfavoured or try to do things and HE KNOWS WHY #but Thor can't SAY anything about it bc he's not supposed to #and Thor obviously has no way to reconcile that Loki is Jotun which means Jotun can't possibly be plain monsters #so Thor and Loki both keep badmouthing the frost giants #Thor gets to watch Loki hate on the frost giants while knowing Loki is one and idk something about that doesn't sit right with him #Thor basically gets to watch Loki fail at things and to Thor it's like 'oh yeah of course he's not as good or doesn't fit in'#he gets to watch and learn bad war stories and that's just how they learn about how horrible the Jotnar are #and i think occasionally Thor would stop to really process that fact #but most of the time Thor is just like. yeah that's a thing but it's not like it matters #even tho Loki being Jotun totally IS an important thing #he's just used to ignoring that it's not since he'd been told pretty far back #and it was apparently never relevant to their parents to inform Loki so *shrug*#ALSO ALSO Loki finding out so long after and being devastated and ''they told you of my parentage did they not?''#but make it Thor 1 #make it happen when Loki goes to Earth to visit Thor too hjsvfdsh #Loki: I have reason to believe I'm not related to any of you by blood.#Thor: uh well that'd be a little hard wouldn't it #Loki finds out that Thor knew he was adopted/Jotun before him too #lets get that breakdown moving along

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fiendpact · 6 months

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tav qotd: for those with playlists, pick three songs and tell me in the tags how they describe your tav/durge <3

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #tav qotd #bg3 tav #i don't know what else to tag this as 🫥#anyways three of makaria's are: cheerleader by ashnikko - brutus by emma blackery - mercy by king mala #naturally there are spoilers below so watch out ‼️#cheerleader is kind of a joke one bc she was originally based on the mean cheerleader trope but it plays into her ego and her hubris #and is kinda eerie in a way. also the 'cut throats and i feel better' line is just so good LMAO this song is such an earworm to me #brutus is wrt orin and how her treachery affected makaria; 'taking back what you stole' isn't in reference to bhaal's chosen but +#to makaria's sense of control over herself after being left helpless and forever changed by orin's literal knife in her back #and mercy kinda speaks for itself i think but it's the internal struggle against the dark urge and how could she ever possibly reconcile +#her ungodly past and move forward to be something more than what bhaal created her to be #rb games #jess.txt #makaria

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frodo-of-the-nine-fingers · 7 months

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thinking about how silver knew or suspected that thomas might be alive almost from the beginning of season 4 and still didn't tell flint like

Flint: Do I need to be concerned that you took almost two hours to tell me about it?

Silver: We are at our least rational... when we're at our most vulnerable. If nothing else, this is a good reminder that without a doubt she is the point at which I'm my most vulnerable. The thought of losing her...

I see.

Silver: If we assume... that we are on the verge of some impossible victory here, a truly significant thing... if we assume that is real and here for the taking... wouldn't you trade it all to have Thomas Hamilton back again?

Flint: I think if he knew how close we were to the victory he gave his life to achieve... he wouldn't want me to.

Silver: I see. Though, that wasn't really what I asked, was it? Assume his father was just as dark as you say, but... was unable to murder his own son, assume he found a way... to secret Thomas away from London...

Flint: He didn't.

Silver: Would you trade this war to make it so? It is some kind of hell to be forced to choose one irreplaceable thing over another.

LIKE PERHAPS THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE YOU SHOULD BE CONCERNED HE IS NOT TELLING YOU

Flint: I know what it's like... to have lost her. And then seeing a way to have her back. I understand what that must've felt like. You asked me once what I would do, what I would sacrifice if it meant having Thomas back again. I honestly don't know... what I would've done. I honestly couldn't say I wouldn't have done what you did. I told you I'd see you through this. Put things back together again so that we can move forward. I meant it.

And then again he still doesn't tell him because he can't, not until he's certain he won't have to use it-not until he's certain he'll have to End Flint because he doesn't want to but he knows (has known this whole time) that he will be the end of him so he hid this Massive Thing from him even after he knew what it was like to lose Madi he Still hid it (this is of course assuming that thomas is still alive and that wasn't just a lie to madi or a justification to himself and flint to make sending him (flint) away to live the rest of his life in chains doing labor seem like it wasn't so bad really (and also ignoring the fact that miranda who was arguably more a catalyst for flint's war than thomas was is still dead and not even silver can bring her back from the dead))

it's just really funny idk what to tell you

#sorry i am FEELING things #like how could he even do this assuming thom is still alive like i fully believe him capable of it but holy shit #i think for a really long.time i had a hard time reconciling this like the way that he Hid it from flint again assuming thom is alive #and even then if he was telling the truth that doesn't necessarily exclude the possibility that silver killed him anyway so.#tldr oh naur the implications #black sails #james flint #john silver #theres also like the thomas only being alive because silver needs him to be alive which isnt a non factor in this #and also in the viewers ability to stomach flint being sent away to a plantation prison for the rest of his life like its really not so bad!#madi(viewer)!!!! it's fine!!! he's with the love of his life (according to Me The Storyteller so it must be True) and he's happy there #i prommy #he's fine #it's fine #like GIRL #the most insane thing of all of this is that he thinks somehow that THIS is the more comforting option to tell #like maybe for you it is so you dont have to live with it but idk it would have been kinder to just have killed him

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i3utterflyeffect · 2 months

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Imagine if victim captures this new purple hollowhead to try and get information out of him, and Alan starts apologizing and that's when victim realizes that he's Alan. And then Alan is suddenly in far more danger.

OH MY GOD... THAT WOULD BE SUCH A STUPID THING TO DO BUT I CAN SEE IT HAPPENING...

i can't help but imagine chosen being on the sidelines and internally willing alan to shut the fuck up as much as they can and then he blows the whole thing by being too guilty

#just. he IS having a redemption arc but this is the WORST POSSIBLE PERSON TO TRY AND RECONCILE WITH #tommy's stickmen tag

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moongothic · 2 months

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On the train of your last ask, what are your thoughts on dragons sexuality?

Personally I think he’s Demi something (more attracted to personality than looks or gender)

Honestly because we don't know that much about the guy it's kind of hard for me to form an opinion, and if Crocodad Real then we're going to find out his orientation eventually (since we gotta find out if that was a contributing factor to the Dragodile Divorce (assuming they're divorced)) so I'm kind of okay with not forming any headcanons, since the headcanon could get thrown out the window

If anything, what interests me is how Dragon's orientation could impact the story-- like when I've discussed the Dragodile Divorce I have mainly focused on speculating how Crocodile would've felt about it, but how Dragon felt about that is interesting too

Because if he's straight then yeah that probably contributed to The Divorce, but how did Dragon feel about it? Learning that the love of his life is now happier than ever before after transitioning and being happy for him, while also losing the version of Crocodile that he fallen in love to begin with? No longer feeling thet draw to him because of the thing that has brought him so much joy and comfort? Knowing that even if they did take down the WG the family Dragon had hoped to have would never come to be, because their relationship would now end? And that it would be on some level his fault, because he's not attracted to Crocodile anymore?

Like even if Dragon took things well and the divorce happened "on good terms", it would've been sad for Dragon too.

But then there's a slightly juicier option, because what if Dragon was bi, but the Divorce happened under unpleasant circumstances (be it Dragon lashing out or things getting violent because he couldn't recognize Crocodile) and he didn't figure it out until it was too late?

Because you'd still have Dragon going through some if not all of those previously mentioned feelings, of having to come to terms with the version of his significant other whom he had fallen in love with no longer existed, the family had pictured in his mind would never become a thing, that those things were be kind of his fault and that he had hurt Crocodile deeply in the process. But then he'd be looking at some news article of Crocodile's most recent heroic stunt, seeing his handsome face with that usual, unbothered expression, and realizing he still loved him? That he still wanted to be with him, wished they were together, even now that Crocodile was a far more handsome man than he was? And then the realization that he's bi hitting him like a fucking truck But it's too late. The divorce already happened. He already hurt Crocodile too deeply. Knowing Croc, he had probably already moved on. There was no fixing it, the relationship was over. At least for now, trying to go see Croc could be dangerous due to the WG and not wanting to risk the WG finding out about them and The Kid and Croc would probably be furious if Dragon even risked that at this point, after what he had done. Oh, and then Crocodile killed thousands of innocent people attempting to usurp a country by manufacturing a civil war. Something Dragon can't forgive. (Not to mention, hearing he had been taken down by their own son... Oof)

But what if despite all that, and not knowing the full circumstances behind what had happened (like the fact that Crocodile didn't know who the hell Luffy was), Dragon still loved Crocodile? What then?

#Moon posting #Asks #Dragodile #OP Meta #Answering an unusual amount of asks today because 1) Compensating for being AFK for a while and #2) The Tumblr News are deeply fucking upsetting and I need something to lighten my mood desperately ngl #So clearing my ask box it is wheeeee #Sorry this is a little incoherent lmao #Something about Dragon looking at Crocodile and being like ''why the fuck are you more handsome than me'' cracks me up okay #When your transgender husband gives you gender envy #I just love the story telling potential bi Dragon would give us because like. Yeah if they're straight then the relationship is joever #But if he was bi then there's that theoretical possibility they could maybe reconcile and get back together #And the fucking drama? The possibilities? I'm so here for that man give it to me #Luffy and/or Ivankov telling Dragon to get over himself and admit that he still loves Crocodile and wants to be with him? Gimme #Dragon taking a deadly blow to protect Crocodile because he doesn't want to lose him again? It's a trope for a reason #OR Dragon craddling a dying Crocodile begging him not to die because he still loves him? Oh yes #Crocodile trying to sneak away while everyone celebrates the destruction of the World Government #And Dragon showing up like ''I don't wanna lose you again pls don't go ;_;''#And Croc telling him to either piss off OR to hurry up and get on the ship so they can leave before Luffy finds out #I am. Obsessed. Dragodile Retirement Romance let's fucking go #THE POSSIBILITIES MAN. Like I don't wanna get my hopes up because I doubt we'll get Canon Gay Dragodile BUT IT COULD BE SO GOOD

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