#read harder challenge 2021

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Editor’s note: This hypothetically open letter was originally posted by its anonymous author on Medium and was rapidly removed as “hate speech.” We found it to be a refreshing dose of honesty, a charming and relatable open letter from one parent to other parents (not to the child, obviously!) about dealing with a challenging and dangerous moment in raising children, especially “weird” adolescents who search for their identities harder than others and risk making life-damaging mistakes in a way never before possible. We are reposting it here on New Discourses with the permission of the author.

--

By: Donna M.

Published: Mar 5, 2021

My dear, sweet, son,

I’ve got to break it to you: you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

This seems like a cruel thing to point out right now. Clearly, you are struggling and feeling pretty awful about things. I can see that you are in a rough patch, and one of the first rules of parenting is to not pile on. The world is pretty heavy on your shoulders. You’re fifteen. There’s a pandemic going on. But here I come anyway. I’m about to throw more on you.

When you were two ­– a happy, chubby, little tyke in pull-ups, you watched the world with wary eyes behind the thumb in your mouth. You leapt with joy in the rhythm of the toddle music classes. You chattered and shared stories about your stuffed animals. You loved your little sister. Enjoyed cookies and finger painting. That was all pretty normal.

But you also started to count to one thousand on our walks. And you started to call out the store names as we drove around. And you preferred reading books rather than playing with the other two-year-olds at preschool. And you hated sitting in the circle when instructed. And you hated the feel of blue jeans. And you threw big tantrums when you lost any kind of game. In other words, you started to show signs that you were… weird.

The grandparents were the first to notice. They said gentle things like “You oughta keep an eye on that one,” and sent us links to Wall Street Journal articles about child prodigies. And then the other parents in the play groups started to comment; “He’s pretty intense, huh?” And the teachers were on to it pretty quickly. They started to use fancy terms like “asynchronous development.”

By third grade, we realized you were different, but we still didn’t realize you were weird. Truthfully, we’re used to people like you. Our family is full of engineers, artists, musicians, computer programmers, and a lot of “free-thinkers.” Family gatherings always have chess, political debates, and quartets around the piano. That’s just us.

And besides, you had a small but solid group of friends. There was Pokémon, then Minecraft, then Magic, then Dungeons and Dragons, then Catan. You were never in the center of things, but you weren’t alone.

But then, in middle school, things started to change. By 7th grade, school finally started to require some effort, and it turned out you were pretty disorganized. People kept calling you smart, but the teachers were annoyed at your humor, and frustrated that you wouldn’t or couldn’t follow the guidelines for assignments. Classmates didn’t appreciate your frank (if accurate) descriptions of their efforts. I’ll admit, we got pretty frustrated with you, too.

And then puberty arrived, with its triple curse of acne, braces, and bizarre growth. The girls appeared to have it all together (I know they don’t, but they do appear that way). And the popular boys seemed to know exactly what to do. They can talk sports to each other, they brag about their romantic exploits. They never get in trouble for stupid reasons like forgetting an assignment three times in a row. Your anxiety started to kick in, and it seemed like you got smaller. And some of your guy friends moved on.

So you drifted over to the weird-o crowd. Well — I’m not sure what you call yourselves, but that’s what we would have called you back when I was in school. At different schools these are the geeks, or the theater kids, the math team kids, or the artsy-fartsy kids. This used to be where the gay kids ended up, but I think they’re more dispersed now. You get some kids whose parents are going through some rough times. Some girls with anorexia. A few boys who are edgy and angry. Kids with a great sense of humor and big hearts.

And some of these kids are really passionate. Just full of righteous anger about the injustices of the world. And some of them are dramatic. And truthfully, that looks pretty attractive to you. Because you share some of that confusion and anger about the world. And though you may not be sure what you think or what you feel, you are certain you don’t want to be on the bad side. You certainly aren’t like those popular boys with their suave charm and dominating manners. You’re not like them at all.

You’re actually more like those vibrant girls who can speak for hours about their ideas. Well, you would be if you could find the words to speak. And there is something so fascinating about those girls, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. You’d never think about talking to those girls anyway, because that’d be weird. Because you are weird. You’ve never been good at chit-chat, or eye contact. Or girls. And besides, you wouldn’t want them to get the wrong impression. You understand that your peers are starting to date, but you really don’t see the point. Sex is still gross and weird to you. It’s better to just call yourself “asexual” or “pansexual.” It’s like a get-out-of-jail-free card that helps you avoid the whole mess. And your group of friends tell you that you are super cool and brave for being able to say that about yourself.

But you’ve fallen into a funk. Anyone can see that. But computer games help. And there’s always trying to beat the speed record for that one game you’re kinda good at. And that one guy on reddit always has good tricks. And the people on that message board seem to get your humor.

So when one of them posts a meme about trans rights, it makes sense that you’d check it out. You’re curious! You’re a free thinker! You’re not like the normies. And the web quiz hits home. You do feel discomfort with your body. You don’t like sports. You do wonder what it would be like to be a girl. You’ve always felt like something was different about you.

You’re right. There is something different about you.

But you’re not trans, you’re just weird.

So we’re right here for you. We’ll always be here for you. But those online folks who urge you to “crack your trans egg” and rush to hormones and surgeries don’t know you at all. They don’t know that gifted kids and ADHD kids and Autism kids and Asperger’s kids are slower to develop emotionally and sexually. They don’t know that sexuality takes time and experience to figure out, and that the majority of trans teens seeking medical treatment haven’t even masturbated or kissed someone yet. They don’t know that 80% of trans children end up becoming comfortable with their birth sex if you just give them time. They don’t know that there are increasing numbers of desisting and de-transitioning people in their twenties. They don’t realize that hormones permanently stunt your growth, decrease your IQ, and can cause sterility. They don’t know that these hormones are prescribed off-label and there’s no research on the long-term outcomes. They don’t even know that the most recent research shows that short-term outcomes are clearly worse.

They don’t realize that you’re weird. But I do. You’re weird, kiddo. You’ll figure that out in a year or two. But that’s okay. We are all weird. And I love you anyway. You’re going to be just fine.

==

You always hear stories and justifications like, "she never liked wearing a dress," or "he always hated having his hair cut." This is post-hoc confirmation bias. Not only does this confirm everything critics say about this being a movement based on gross stereotypes, but they always leave out things like, "she refused to eat anything yellow," and "he was obsessed with elevator and crossing buttons and would cry if he wasn't the one to light it up."

It's okay to be weird.

#Donna M #gender identity #gender ideology #queer theory #genderwang #trans egg #it's okay to be weird #it's ok to be weird #normalize weird #religion is a mental illness

[nikethestatue]

The way I would drop SJM if gwynriel happens. I wont hate on her or anything. I will keep reading her book if elucien happens depending on how elain character is develop. We all due respect Gwyn is a lovely character in my opinion but the fact that all those elriel hints were just to mislead us just so gwynriel could happen makes me kinda sick. I love elriel a lot but honestly at this point i am not 100% sure that elriel will happen the whole glow in the chest thing is really tricky especially if it was use in the bryce/hunt bc on HOFAS. I will still support my ship but I won’t go to hard on it cause honestly I just don’t want to get disappointed. Something that this new release has show us is that one thing is what we want and another is what she as the writer wants🤷🏼‍♀️very few theories have come true and I just think at the end of the day we really know nothing about what’s going on in Sarah s head

Same. Definitely same.

But Gwynriel won't happen. There was a n interview/Live that SJM did at the height of Gwynriel mania in 2021. She was kind of prodded and pushed to answer a Gwynriel question which she didnt but she DID say that not every interaction should be interpreted as 'romantic'. She was clear about that--that even if a reader wants to read it as such, they aren't. Obviously, it was in response to the question about Gwynriel. She didn't outright negate it, but she dropped a pretty heavy hint.

That, clearly, cannot apply to Elriel, since SJM herself wrote a very romantic interlude between the two of them. Theirs ARE romantic gestures and interactions and should be taken as such.

Gwynriel was never coded as romantic. Everything about it--and I've said it always--is mentor/mentee conded, with vague overlay of barely there friendship. Gwyn wants to impress Azriel with her achievements. Azriel challenges her and the others and wants them to push harder. That's it. Nothing about their interactions is even vaguely romantic, not even flirtatious. Also, we KNOW from Azriel's own POV that the entire time he was involved in training of the priestesses, including Gwyn, he was completely CONSUMED by Elain.

No one seems to address that. The timelines are concurrent. Gwyn is cutting the ribbon, Azriel watches her attempts, he trains the priestesses, he does whatever he does with all of that--all the while, he only thinks of Elain. He doesn't look at Gwyn's cut ribbon on his nightstand. He looks at the headache powder. He doesn't avoid training, because he can't be near Gwyn since he wants her so much. He avoids dinners and meetings at the River House, because he wants Elain so much.

Has anything changed after we got the Solstice POV? No. We learn from another SJM interview that Az and Rhys tried to borderline kill each other, because Az was so angry with him. We know that after things sparked in his chest, the next day, he was even more aloof than usual during training and barely spoke to Nesta. Has anything changed, narratively, in his approach to Gwyn after Solstice? Nope. Still the same.

I know it's hard to not hear all the noise and the mad confidence of some readers, but Gwynriel won't be happening. It's not me saying that. It's SJM.

#elriel #pro elriel

[captainmalewriter]

I posted 78 times in 2022

That's 36 more posts than 2021!

75 posts created (96%)

3 posts reblogged (4%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swapsrus

@shootingstarwritings

@captainsfavstories

I tagged 75 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#male possession - 32 posts

#caption - 26 posts

#body possession - 23 posts

#male body possession - 20 posts

#male body switch - 20 posts

#male body swap - 19 posts

#body swap - 17 posts

#body switch - 15 posts

#male takeover - 12 posts

#reasonswhy - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 26 characters

#god i overthink everything

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Stop It

I sat there in the passenger seat as my Dad drove us back from the gym.

This was part of our normal routine, yet I found myself feeling really impatient.

"Dude, c'mon, get out of there already! This is getting weird," I said to him.

"Son, what did I say about calling me dude or bro? You will address me as Sir or Dad,"

"Knock it off man! This is just weird! Get out of my Dad already!"

"And why should I? Just look at these cannons!"

See the full post

455 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

#4

Gift That Keeps Giving

“So... how does it feel?” Kamal asked the man in front of him as he adjusted the sleeve of his jersey. The handsome man stayed quiet as he continued to bounce around in place, seemingly trying to get comfortable in his own skin. 

Kamal couldn’t help but admire the man’s well groomed appearance; from his perfect beard to the stylish haircut, Kamal was already fantasizing what it would be like to see that handsome face from underneath him as he jackhammered his ass into submission. He could already hear him begging him to go harder between moans. He knew the jersey would have to stay on during sex to avoid the transformation reverting back, but Kamal accepted it as a fair trade off if it meant he got to fuck a hunk of a man every night from there on. 

See the full post

470 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#3

Watermelon Challenge

The sun was shining as bright as always that Tuesday morning. Beams of light shined into the young Tiktoker Mo Saffari’s room, causing him to wake up. He yawned as he rubbed his eyes, knowing it was time to get up for the day.

Mo grabbed his phone from the nightstand and unlocked it. He cleared out all of the notifications from his various social medias and checked for any new messages. He answered a few of the more interesting ones and left the rest on read. They could wait a while longer.

He then turned off his phone, and in the split second before he tossed it to the side, Mo caught a glimpse of his own reflection on the little black screen. He smirked as he admired himself. He knew he was hot, and with that thought in mind, he decided to snap a quick selfie for his Instagram stories. Something to get his many fans and followers going.

See the full post

480 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#2

Side Business

***

Then, out of nowhere, Jojo’s eyes opened. I saw how bloodshot his eyes were. I took a step back at the sight of it. Jojo started arching upwards too. It looked painful, seeing him stretch like that… He was still gasping while all this happened too. This disturbing sight continued for a few seconds that felt like an eternity, then Jojo slammed back down to his bed, as motionless as before he started flailing. 

I stood there, hand against my beating heart, trying to process everything that had just happened. It felt like I had just witnessed a man have a seizure and then have it resolved by itself! 

After another brief pause, Jojo’s eyes opened again. They weren’t bloodshot this time, they looked as white as ever. He rolled out of his bed, and began to look and feel around his body. 

See the full post

576 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Payback

***

Somehow, I had fallen onto my knees in the midst of all the pleasure. I was about to get up, but then an inexplicable pain began to spread in my throat. It was a sharp pain, like something had just jammed itself down my throat. I also noticed a weird, slimy taste in my mouth. It was disgusting!

“What’s the matter? Don’t like a little cum in your mouth?”

I heard a deep voice that sounded vaguely familiar, and when I looked up, I saw my own body looking down at me.

I stared in horror as I watched my own body flexing and pec bouncing right in front of me. I then looked down at my body, and saw I now had the body of the dainty twink that had just sucked me off!

See the full post

673 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[zyrafowe-sny]

#6 and #7 of fic writer asks, please? :)

Thanks for the ask! There's a reasonable chance that I will go through all of these at some point before the end of the year, but we'll see if I manage it! :)

I'm generally answering these as a writer, not a reader/media consumer, since there are definitely things I enjoy that I don't feel inspired to write myself.

6. What ship(s) captured your heart?

This question is a little funny to me because I was so much less interested in reading or writing romance in 2022 and much of 2023 compared to my historical reading habits (or 2020/2021 when I regularly read actual modern romance novels). Like, I always enjoyed genfic, but for so much of 2022 and a good chunk of 2023 I was rarely in the mood for shippy fic. Background relationships were fine, but I didn't really want to read or write much that was romance-centric.

Nimona (both the movie and graphic novel) got me interested in Ballister/Ambrosius, but so far I have only posted fic for the movie versions. I appreciate that their estrangement happened *after* they were happily together for a while and that they had to reconcile.

Speaking of couples that had to reconcile... While I always casually enjoyed Raeda (Eda the Owl Lady/Raine Whispers), it wasn't until a multi-fandom smubbles challenge that I felt inspired to write anything for them. (It feels extremely on brand that my first attempts at writing smut were 100 word drabbles.)

Huh. Aladarius is another ship that's been percolating in my brain (nothing written) and they also give off previously divorced vibes.

And [redacted] for [redacted] upcoming challenge.

I am having epiphanies.

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

This is roughly chronological:

a minor OC from a fic I betaed gave me plot bunnies, and eventually I will finish writing them

Dys from I Was a Teenage Exo-Colonist — he makes my heart hurt and has made it harder for me to explore other friendships in that game

Elliott from the game Stardew Valley — not my first or necessarily favorite SDV spouse, but there were a few months in 2023 when I couldn't read/write/game much because of my new glasses but I could sort of manage SDV on a tablet because it was familiar, so I invented a good chunk of Elliott backstory in my head and wrote a tiny bit down

Nimona — her suicidal ideation in the movie is...ooooph

Ballister Boldheart — movie!Ballister is giving me more plot bunnies now, but I am also a comic!Ballister enjoyer

Ambrosius Goldenloin — movie!Ambrosius with his little internal breakdown and all that implies about masking/expectations/etc

Meredith Blitzmeyer from the Nimona graphic novel — a good chunk of my Nimona writing agenda is getting her into the movieverse

Luz Noceda — I only wrote a tiny bit from her POV in 2022, but wrote more this year and get to project about executive dysfunction, depression, and grief

Camila Noceda — I've been writing more grieving and trying-but-not-entirely-succeeding Camila this year, and that's also been cathartic

Vee and Hunter aren't new for 2023, but remain special to me

#thanks for the ask! #sometimes I write #fanfic

[griseldagimpel]

Making a Better Democratic Party: Presidential Primaries

Alright, so punishing an incumbent president during the primaries is harder than punishing a Congress member. This stems from the fact that incumbents enjoy a huge advantage in the general election, so members of the president's party will generally hold off on a presidential bid, since term limits (which don't exist for Congress members) mean they can have a shot in four years. And if they stay on good terms with the incumbent, then when it's their turn to run, they can get an endorsement.

Thus, the point of our action here is not realistically to replace Biden as the 2024 Democratic presidential candidate. However, that doesn't mean there's nothing we can do.

While most members of the president's own party won't run, there's generally a couple who will. Some of them will drop out before the primaries even begin, and those that make it to the first primary (well caucus) will typically drop out after they badly lose the Iowa caucus. Ideally, we'd have a protest candidate running against Biden - and staying in even though they know they don't have a chance - just to keep talking about Israel's genocide in Palestine. Stay in, force primaries to keep happening, and keep talking about that. But unless there's a tumblrina reading this who's qualified and interested in being that protest candidate, what we have to work with are the two challengers Biden currently has for the Democratic presidential nomination.

Those two are Marianne Williamson and Dean Phillips.

And what I want you all to do is email them and ask them to speak out against the genocide in Palestine now. If they're contrarian enough to run against Biden, they might be contrarian enough to oppose Biden on this. And since they're presidential candidates, they might get a bit of media attention for doing so. The goal of this is to create negative press for President Biden due to his support of genocide and thus pressure him to call for a ceasefire.

Williamson's presidential campaign website is here: https://marianne2024.com/

Phillips doesn't appear to have a presidential campaign website, but he does have a congressional campaign one: https://phillipsforcongress.org/

Here are direct links to their contact pages:

Finally, given that Biden is 80 years old, there's a good chance that he won't actually be the 2024 Democratic Presidential nominee, either because he's forced to retire due to health reasons or because he drops dead from being 80 years old. If that happens, the Democratic presidential primary becomes a clusterfuck, and I'll do a a follow-up post about what strategies we can pursue in those circumstances.

#making a better democratic party #politics #elections #israel palestine conflict

[ltinuviel]

I decided to take part for the first time in the Frugal Film Project

I heard about it on twitter, Thanks @davewhenham

I was so excited about this new project that I prepared a post about it:

"You know what? I'm joining Frugal Photo Project 😊

I've always wanted a project like this, but.. it was the wrong time or I haven't been part of a group and all alone is not so fun.

The rules are 1 year - 1 camera - 1 film . The camera should not be more expensive than $75.

I always wanted to try to be more consistent in my shooting, but instead I'm always trying new stuff. Every time I settle on a camera, which I feel is the One, it breaks on the next roll. And I 'm not superstitious, just all my cameras are old and faulty 😐🤭

These days I have a ney toy - a Soviet Zorki, however I suppress the urge to use it in the FPP, as it's not tested yet.

Therefore I decided to enter the project with one of my favorite cameras - Kodak Retinette ib. It's a favorite toy, however I don't shoot often with it. It's so smooth. I like to watch it and hold it, I like to shoot with it, I like the photos it does, I like how flawless it is. It's mystery why I don't use it more often. This project seems like the perfect way to connect more with the Retinette.

For film I decided on Kentmere 400 - very versatile and cheap enough. I just ordered 4 rolls.Yay!"

(even made a complimentary photo for this post 😄 here it is)

And then I found the wrong way that there is a film already loaded in it 🙈 - Ilford hp5+ to be exact 😄 and it was on the 6th frame. I even can't remember when I've loaded it, but maybe sometime in 2021. 2022 was some dark space for me and I almost haven't done any photography.

I just couldn't waste the roll with some meaningless shots around the house. I also realized that I don't have the time to shoot both films till the end of the month - I know myself, I am a slow shooter.

(Also, I realized such a long project will teach me a lot and I was tempted to choose a "harder" camera)

So another camera it will be. Enters Smena Symbol , cheapish Soviet toy camera, my first camera as a child. My father bring it to me (and one for my little sister) when I was a kid, after he got back from a business Trip to the Soviet Union back in the day.

At first my parents didn't allow me to use it. Then I was old enough, however it were poor times and the film was not cheap. I remember shooting with it once or twice.

Then there were digital cameras all over, and I remembered about it in 2014 when I rediscovered film again. I've run just few rolls through it. I wanted to try other cameras, bigger, fancier, the GAS level increased.

Now at first I had mixed feelings: it's definitely a challenge. I like to own it, but the shots are not brilliant. I don't like how it does color negatives. Black and white is better though. I always felt that the stops and the speeds are not enough: the biggest aperture is 4 and the fastest speed is 1/250.

I'm adding Lomo Blik accessory external rangefinder, bought some years ago for the equivalent of $7

I'm very excited. I already joined the dedicated facebook group and I'm pleasantly surprised how friendly and knowledgeable are the lovely people there.

Thank you for reading this long post to the end.

#frugal film project #believeinfilm #filmisnotdead #ltinuviel #analog #bwfilm #kentmere 400 #kodak retinette ib #kodak retinette #ffp2023 #frugal film project 2023

[morganwriteblr]

Get to know me (tag game)

I was tagged by the ever wonderful @winterandwords thanks so much! I really like the look of this one, and your answers were so good!

A scent you love?

I have a teddy called Lamby (he's a lamb) that can go in a microwave to heat up the little bead things in his tummy, and they smell like lavender. Gorgeous smell, and he's way less faffy than a hot water bottle!

What's something you're looking forward to this week?

My life is incredibly boring and I have nothing to look forward to except maybe doing some writing. I have a holiday at the end of the month (british coast for a wedding) but that's just making me really stressed.

What's a book you're currently reading?

For someone who proclaims about being a writer, I don't get a lot of reading in. I'm trying to change. I promise. The last book I was reading was The Night Stalker by Robert Bryndza (re-reading the series because he released another book for it)

What's a game you're currently playing?

I have a few games that I play on the regular: The Sims 4 (currently doing another 100 baby challenge which feels a whole lot harder now they added the infant lifestage), Final Fantasy 14 (with my beloved dragon girl), Diablo 4 (skelington army, babyyy), and Dead by Daylight (so many handsome boys and creetchurs).

What's the most recent movie you watched?

The Suicide Squad (2021). Kept expecting a Galactic Spongebob to show up (iykyk).

Are you watching anything on TV or listening to any shows?

I'm finally watching Stranger Things and I'm already at Season 3. Not as scary as I thought it was gonna be, but I guess I would've been scared of Demogorgon if I hadn't played him in DbD?? Maybe.

Favourite season?

AUTUMN. Need I say more?

Crispy leaves, hot chocolate, massive jumpers. Ignoring halloween (and all the kids) and then buying discounted chocolates and sweets the next day.

What's something you've learned recently?

This wasn't super recent but I learned right here on tumblr dot com that HRT testosterone can cause patients to just...create more blood than they need. Kinda terrifying.

Have you had any water lately?

I'm drinking some right now :)

Very gently tagging: @cabbojage ; @mundanemoongirl ; @inkcurlsandknives & @sparrowrising , and an open tag for anyone else!

#writblr tag game #tag game

[yanderepuck]

Kinktober Day 10

WELCOME BACK TO KINKTOBER. This event killed me for a whole year and I'M BACK. The prompt list is made by @xxsycamore

If you want to read 2021's Kinktober the masterlist is on my pinned post.

Happy reading sluts. And remember to reblog

10: Morning sex  |  Waking up at night for sex

You woke up feeling someone get in your bed. You groaned and rolled over. What time even was it. One eye peaked open and you didn't see the sun anywhere. Who was trying to wake you up at this hour.

You felt the blanket rustle and someone settle beside you. Finally you roll over and open your eyes. You don't know why you thought anyone else but Jean would be coming into your bed, but now that you see him you relax and get closer to him.

"Is everything okay, Jean?" you sure hope you actually said words, you think you might still be asleep.

"I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

You are forcing your eyes to stay open, even if you could barely see. "Oh? What were your thinking about?"

"How beautiful you are," he carefully brushes hair out of your face, and thus thumb brushed against your lips. "How much I've missed you."

The two of your schedules haven't been lining up the past few days. Jean was in town at the shop during the day and in the evening you were helping others with odd tasks. Everyone seemed to need you at once.

"At least you don't need to go to the shop tomorrow. Once I'm done with breakfast and laundry then I will be all yours," you yawned at the end but still smiled.

"But I want you now."

Before you could ask him what he means your lips were touching and you were pressed against his body. You were stunned for a moment, but immediately woke up. As you kissed him in return your arms wrapped around his body.

You quickly caught onto what he meant once he rolled on top of you, his hands pushing up your shirt to cup your breasts. He set a knee between your legs, pushing it against your crotch.

You let out a groan and feel your lower half grinding against his leg. Jean was defiantly thinking about more than just how much he's missed you.

Before you could finish your thought, both of your shirts were off, and your pants were pulling at his pants. Your head is truly blank. You aren't thinking about anything but kissing your love.

Finally your kiss breaks, the two of you gasping for air all while getting the rest of your clothes off.

"I love you, mademoiselle," he said as he spread your legs apart. "I love everything about you," his hands move up from your hips, up your waist to grope your breasts before coming back down to hold your hips as he enters you.

You let out a loud moan and open your legs even more. Jean basically tossed the blanket off the bed and started thrusting into you.

Once he started moving at a steady pace his hands moved up to your breasts again. Squeezing them, rubbing your nipple between his fingers. It made you squirm and he seemed to enjoy that, since he pinched he then pinched them harder.

There is one spot on you where he bites all the time, you've ended up forming two scars from him puncturing the same spot, but you find it better then a bunch of little ones all over your body. This scar was right above your right breast. He will squeeze your boob and reopen the scar. You were already very sensitive there so it make it even more pleasurable.

You got louder as you got played with, with everything hard thrust your moan seemed to get louder. He finally let go of your breasts and grabbed your hands, holding them on either side of your head.

"I still need more of you, mistress."

Oh why did he have to call you that. You absolutely lose it any time he says it. "My body is all yours, Jean. You can fuck me all night."

He was about to take that as a challenge. His thrusts got harder and faster.

You let out a yelp and went to cover your mouth, but your hands were still pinned down to the bed, and feeling you try to free yourself caused Jean to raise your hands above your head.

"Do that again for me," he smirked and started to thrust that hard again.

You did yell again. Your hips bucked up and it felt like his cock went deeper in you, getting you to groan.

"Remember, you said I could have you all night and tomorrow."

~~~

Writer note: wow. I'm so bad at writing Jean but I hope this was okay. In general I knew I was going to have a hard time with this prompt no matter the guy so there's also that. Also I give Jean a body worship kink

#kinktober #ikevamp ikemen vampire #ikevamp jean

[mountainmaven]

Twenty Books Challenge

Hypothetically, you are only able to keep 20 of your books. Only one book per author/series. So what books are you keeping?

I was tagged by @the-forest-library - thank you!

This was way harder than I imagined (and I still messed up because I have 2 books by the same author oops). I was surprised by how many of the books I chose to keep are non-fiction. I also may have messed up with the rules with some of my collection books but oh well.

From the bottom up:

The Lost Words by Robert MacFarlane & Jackie Morris - just a beautiful book that reminds us how important words are.

The Uncle Wiggly Book by Howard R. Garis. One of the first books I read as a child, and this is the copy I've had since childhood. It's also the book that started my book collecting hobby.

The Canterville Ghost by Oscar Wilde - such a sweet, fun story and this one has great illustrations. (this is the book I'd switch out for something else since I messed up with the rules)

Hold Still by various. This was a project started by The Duchess of Cambridge during The COVID Pandemic. She and the National Portrait Gallery collected thousands of photos and went through and chose the top 100 to put into book form. It's a story of life during a modern pandemic. It's incredibly moving.

Collective Wisdom: Lessons, Inspiration, and Advice From Women Over 50 by Grace Bonney. A Christmas gift from one of my kids in 2021. It's a beautiful collection from women, most of whom are average, every day women, very few celebrities or well knowns are in this book. And the diversity is great too (Native, WOC, Disabled, Trans etc.).

The Complete Language of Flowers by S. Theresa Dietz the classic book of flowers and their meanings with beautiful drawings.

Women in Science by Rachel Ignotofsky. 50 Inspiring and notable women in Science. Fun, cartoonish illustrations as well.

American Prince by Tony Curtis. Because he's so pretty, and his whole face lit up when I told him what I thought of his book when he signed it for me.

The Snow Queen and Other Winter Tales by various. Collection of tales from various Fairy Tale books and authors. I have a few of these but this one I think is my favorite.

The Works of H.G. Wells by H.G. Wells. A collection of stories by Wells. The Time Machine was the first Science Fiction book I'd read. I read it as a teen and I loved it.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (and this would be the one Wilde book I'd keep since I'm only allowed to have one book by the same author). This is my all time favorite book.

The Girl Who Chased the Moon by Sarah Addison Allen. I have loved and own every book Allen has written, but I think this is my favorite.

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I have a few copies of this book, it's a favorite. I chose this version because it's just very pretty.

Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. Because Mother Nature DGAF. Also as I was being admitted to the hospital for my hysterectomy the admitting nurse who was doing all my vitals, giving me my IV etc. was reading this book and we discussed it. We both agreed that this book confirmed for us that we never want to climb Mount Everest.

Timeless by Gail Carriger. The final book in the Soulless series. I loved this whole series. I chose the last book, however, because it's one of the few series that I absolutely loved everything about how it ended.

The Radium Girls by Kate Moore. The incredibly infuriating story of the women who risked their lives in watch factories and how little help they got. This book made me a better feminist and grew my understanding of the importance of women's rights and how important our history is.

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I think this was the first Gaiman book I read and it's my favorite.

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder. A series I read one summer in my youth. I chose this one because of its iconic cover, and because it's the first in the series.

The Aviary by Kathleen O'Dell. One of my kids read this when they were younger and suggested it to me. It's one of my all time favorite middle grade reads. It's magical.

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. My 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Bauer (my favorite teacher ever) read this out loud to us in class. I fell in love with the story. I never read it again until I was a married adult with children. It's the first book I ever re-read as an adult (Uncle Wiggly is the first book I ever re-read). And I re-read TLtWatW at least every couple of years. I tag anyone who wants to do this!!

#books #booklr #about me #20 book challenge

[mariacallous]

In Texas, a trial is underway that will likely have lasting repercussions for voting rights. In La Union del Pueblo Entero v. Abbott (LUPE v. Abbott) a coalition of civil rights and community organizations is arguing that recent Texas voting legislation violates both federal anti-discrimination statutes and the Constitution. The trial’s outcome will affect the rights of 17.1 million Texas voters, with potential implications for other states that have moved to restrict voting access in recent years.

The law known as Senate Bill 1 (S.B. 1) was passed by the Texas legislature in 2021, despite efforts by Democratic lawmakers to block it with a 38-day walkout. S.B. 1 created additional restrictions on mail-in and absentee ballots, limited the assistance that can be provided to voters, and reduced voting hours. The bill also opened election workers and voters to new forms of harassment by partisan poll watchers—an issue in many states, including Texas.

S.B. 1 is part of the latest wave of state legislation making it harder for Americans to vote. At least 26 other states have passed laws restricting voting since 2020. Many of these laws have features similar to those being challenged in the ongoing lawsuit. So far in 2023, seven states have already passed laws that restrict mail voting. South Dakota also enacted vague legislation criminalizing poll workers who do not allow poll watchers to observe the processing of absentee ballots from a “reasonable distance.”

Two parts of the Texas law have already been found illegal. In 2022, a federal judge in Texas ruled that portions of S.B. 1 restricting voter assistance violated a 2018 federal injunction. Under S.B. 1, those assisting a voter could read the text of the ballot to the voter or mark the ballot but not answer any clarification questions the voter might have. Civil rights advocacy groups including the NAACP Legal Defense Fund successfully argued that the law’s provisions hindered voters with disabilities and voters who spoke limited English.

Then, last month, the judge overseeing LUPE v. Abbott issued a summary ruling striking down sections of S.B. 1 that regulated mail ballots. The nullified sections required administrators to reject mail ballots and mail ballot applications if voters’ ID numbers on their ballot or application did not match the ID numbers provided on their voter registration form. For example, if a voter used their Social Security number to register to vote but wrote their driver’s license number on their ballot, their ballot could be disqualified, even though both forms of ID were valid. The judge found that the ID matching requirement violated the 1964 Civil Rights Act’s materiality provision, which forbids denying people the right to vote for errors that are not substantively related to their qualification to vote.

These earlier decisions bode well for voting rights in Texas. But no matter the outcome of the ongoing case, it will come too late. Already, in the 2022 primary election, thousands of voters—disproportionately voters of color—were disenfranchised by S.B. 1.

Cases like LUPE v. Abbott reveal the importance of the Voting Rights Act (VRA) . Section 5 of the VRA required state and local governments that had a history of discriminatory voting practices to receive “preclearance” from the federal government before altering their election policies. In 2013, in Shelby County v. Holder, the Supreme Court rejected the formula used to determine the areas that require preclearance. Shelby made it possible for places with a history of voting rights violations, like Texas, to implement restrictive voting laws for months and even years before the slow-moving legal system takes action.

Until preclearance is restored, the passage of restrictive voting laws will only be addressed in individual court cases, often years after the laws have had their discriminatory effect. In the meantime, eligible voters will be disenfranchised. The decision on S.B. 1 will, at best, provide another stopgap protection for voting rights. American voters deserve better.

[angelica-urban-soci]

COVID-19 & Disparities

In class and through the readings, we learned that Black individuals were experiencing disproportionately higher rates of infection and mortality due to COVID-19. As I was learning about this, it immediately reminded me of another public health crisis. In my other class, we have been discussing the public health crisis HIV/AIDS. Similar to COVID-19, Black individuals were disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS. Both times, economic disparities played a significant role in perpetuating these inequalities. In both cases, black communities faced economic hardships, making it harder to access essential resources, including healthcare. Poverty, unemployment, and lack of access to quality medical care all exacerbated the impact of both pandemics. Additionally, Black communities often live in densely populated neighborhoods with limited access to safe and sanitary housing (Anderson et al., 2021), This overcrowding made social distancing and self-isolation nearly impossible during COVID, much like the early years of HIV/AIDS when overcrowded housing conditions contributed to the spread of the virus. Moreover, access to quality healthcare remained a barrier in both pandemics. Black individuals faced challenges in accessing testing, treatment, and prevention measures. The similarities between the two epidemics make me reflect on the lessons we've learned, or perhaps failed to learn, from the past.

One interesting thing I have noticed in real-life was that Black individuals used to and still wear masks much more than Whites. I wonder if this is because Black people in America are more likely to live in multi-generational households in higher density areas, around people with worse health who have worse or no health insurance and with a healthcare system that will not help them the same way it would help a sick white person. Many Black individuals are surrounded by family members who have worse health outcomes, often due to inadequate healthcare access or lower healthcare quality. This may influence the decision to wear masks as a preventive measure to protect both themselves and their loved ones. With these, social and structural factors, may be that mask-wearing habits are not solely about personal choice but are deeply intertwined with systemic inequalities, which is something I have never thought about. Are there any studies about this yet?

[demonsteapot]

Silly question!

What are your five favourite videogames (in no particular order)?

Oh, oh! Reading this made me very happy. I get unreasonably excited about these things. (I may list more than five. Favourites are so hard to pick!)

First one that comes to mind is Omori, which I played in late 2021, about a year after it came out. I still have a deep scar in my psyche where that one went in.

... There are a lot of reasons why. The cast are pretty damn relatable (particularly Bagel and Sunny, on a few fronts) the story is a good one, well told– and the ending brought me (an apathetic godsdamn robot) about as close to tears as I can remember in the past few years. It's not a perfect game, but it's one that'll live with me for a long time.

Highly recommend if you have a lot of time to kill (and a lot of patience for filler, because the headspace segments are... well...)

Second, I think, is Celeste, which I played earlier? 2020? 2019?. At first, I picked up this game because "hey, this looks like a cool and challenging platforming game, and I want to try something different!"

All that suffering (Maddy Thorson is a sadist) made the story hit a lot harder. Celeste is... well, I won't gush about it too much, since I don't have much of substance to say, but every freaking part of it resonated with me. Shall we say. Just... just a little bit.

Ultrakill (I first played this in January, I think) also stands tall in my little brain. Now, this one is less about story and more about gameplay, but I honestly still love the game's narrative. It's... a pretty existential game, under all the coins, monsters and style tricks.

Also, the main antagonist is voiced by Gianni Matragrano, which pretty much seals the deal here.

Now I know the game isn't finished, and I'll be really happy to see where the rest of the game's development takes it, but as it stands, it's almost certainly already my favourite FPS. Like, ever. Not that I'm a connoisseur or anything, but what else has: the ability to punch your bullets, an nihilistic dating sim level, a stage dedicated entirely to fishing, and a secret Crash Bandicoot game mode?

Next up, and this comes out of nowhere compared to the first three: LittleBigPlanet 2, a PS3 puzzle-platformer that I remember very fondly. I thought I had to include a game from my (earlier) childhood, and it was either this or Minecraft.

I don't have too much to say about LBP 2, but my younger selves invested quite a lot of time into it, and looking back now, it has a lot of charm. I replayed it once recently, and... Well, still a really good game. Banger soundtrack, too, like all of the above.

I'm torn on what to include for number five, so I'll just go through both of my choices.

Terraria is definitely up here. I have sunk hours upon hours upon hours (about 1.5K total on my Steam install) into this game with a friend, and while it may not be perfect, it's a game that I've come to know and love a lot. It's one of those multiplayer games that always has something to do, but also always works as a backdrop to a conversation. Replayability 10/10 if you have friends.

Lastly, Hollow Knight. Like Celeste and Omori, this was an absolutely magical experience the first time around– the world is so vast and pretty, and its goofy art and charm is paired with a really memorable and melancholic setting. Also, I love bugs. Arthropods are awesome. I can't wait for Silksong to release in 1,000,000 years...

I'm sure there's some absolute classic I've forgotten about, but these are the first things that came to mind. I will also say that once it's finished, I wager Deltarune might well supplant one of these.

Long response, hah. Guess I can't stop myself.

thank you for asking lmao <3

P.S. I forgor, but the Binding of Isaac deserves an honourable mention here. I knew that game like the back of my arm... for a while, anyway.

P.P.S. Oh, and as for Deep Rock Galactic? Ask me again when I hit a thousand hours.

#demonsteapot #ask #long post #fav games #wall of text #not art

[tamtam-go92]

2023 Tumblr Goals

('cause this won't be just about simming)

No. 1 goal this year is to finish my part of the Somerset Legacy. I plan to be really consistend about playing now and play them every Wednesday after my fitness class. I don't know why I'm struggling so much with playing them. Maybe it's because I just don't play supernaturals much and the werewolfyness of the main family makes it really hard for me to play them... But we can do this!

2nd is to post about my new years resolution! I plan to read at least ten pages of a book each and every day (mostly right before going to bed). So far it's going great xD managed 31 pages up until now xD I have a whole shelf of books I once got from an eldery Lady that moved to a retirement home and since she knew me as a child when I would always have a book in my hand, she gifted me her whole collection of books. I didn't keep them all, since I didn't have the space but about 150 are left and I haven't read more than five out of those so far. I still think a lot about that Lady, don't even know if she's still alive... Well, I plan to post a little recap after reading 100 pages of the current book and a "review" after finishing it. The first book the randomizer gave me to read was "The Good Earth" by Pearl S. Buck and so far I like it. I read another one of her right after getting those books from he Lady and really liked it.

3rd is about start posting about the Uberhoods I've been playing when I wasn't feeling like playing the Somersets. I already drafted some classic Uberhood posts but I refuse to post them until the Somersets are finished xD Also started that custom Uberhood I once told you about which I'm really enjoying! I plan to play those 'hoods on the weekends. Classic Uberhood on Saturdays and custom one on Sundays.

Lastly I would really like to finally play a Decades Challenge. I've been wanting to play one since 2021 and never managed to get into it, but it's my plan to really start it after I hand over ther Somersets. I have it all planned out, but really need to sit down and research on clothing and buildings and of course find the fitting CC... If anybody can help: I'm looking for American 1890's CC to begin with. I don't know how this eara is called for the US so that makes searching even harder.

And that's it! I try to keep it low this year xD I can't keep up with my own standarts anyway if I make it too high performance xD So again, I wish you all a wonderful year 2023 (today is the last time I'll say this) and see you all around!

#tam talks #long text post #long post #2023 tumblr goals #2023 goals #new years resolution

[biohazzard121]

After a looong gruelling Skill building up his Cooking and Gourmet Cooking skills up to level 10, harvesting and keeping all my sims death flowers, painstakingly catching every fish but the blasted angel fish. Elliot finally had enough reward points to buy a potion of youth thus completing the requirements for the Ambrosia [ i won’t lie i was tempted to cheat the damn skills. BUT i didn’t. i’m sooo PROUD of myself for not cheating, he managed to gain enough rewards points for two potion of youth’s as his wife to be was nearing adulthood.]  

As soon as he ate the ambrosia he married his girlfriend Alisa, now to begin the life of Elliot Ness ISBI Torch Holder 

Update: Wasn’t long before they were expecting, how this is going to pan out i dunno i can’t control her in anyway, so when it comes to giving birth i’m just gonna have to let her burst i guess lol 

haahha oh well wish poor Elliot luck. least its only one baby [MCCC says is a girl..]

The challenge calls for the minimum of two children before reaching Adult stage and as soon as the new torch holder reaches Young adult [Who ever that may be] they take over so i guess i’m renovating the house lol.

So i looked up the RULES of this challenge over the years its changed probably coz of packs like parenthood etc. the last set of rules i found are from 2021

So from what i’ve read online The ISBI Challenge. FULL Autonomy and AGING has to be turned on!! 

1. You control only one sim a generation Your torch holder. He or she will start life as a YOUNG ADULT no older no younger.

2. You must have at least 2 children by the time your torch holder reaches Adult stage. but you don’t have to marry. they still have to build skills, get a job, make friends.

3. Once your next torch holder reaches Young Adult you take control of him/her, ALL other children in the house must be moved out once they reach Young Adult, however when you stop control of the first sim they are now left to fend for themselves as a sim living in the house. and the new torch holder takes over the house. 

4. You must play for 10 generations minimum... providing they survive lol.

5. You can not interfere with what the other sims in the house are doing.

6. You can influence sims like children to do stuff such as homework/skill build or go to bed.

7. Don’t cheat. So no cheating skills/cash/Satisfaction points or Need, however i did read that you may turn on free real estate so you sim keeps the starting amount of cash.but i dunno it seems a little too easy so i built emptied a house i’d made back to a shell and furnished with the funds i had.  i’m not sure about keeping any money the spouse brings in when they move in to the household [it didn’t say i couldn’t]. i mean i kept it. [ its not like in real life you marry someone as say NO to any money they bring in right lol. ]

8. you can’t really stop your sim from failing either, like children getting taken away due to neglect, its a literal role of the dice, do you take the day of work, to look after the baby/toddler coz you can’t trust the spouse to do so, or do you take the chance and fear that Sim child services will take your baby/Toddler while your at work lol? 

Oh if you want to make it harder your starting sim has to be given the Erratic trait but doing so means that the next torch holder must also be given the Erratic trait at some point before they reach Young adult and so on so each generations Torch holder is basically NUTS!!!!.

#Biohazzard121 #ISBI Challenge #Sims 4

[cheesybadgers]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Aw thank you so much for sending this 😘

1. Old Habits Die Hard 

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo (Narcos)

Oh boy, where to start with this ever-growing beast (that I’m pretty sure ticks all of these)? 😂 It feels like it’s been 84 years since I first started it way back in February 2021, but I promise we are getting near the end now! Copious amounts of blood, sweat, tears and love for these messy idiots have been poured into this, and it’s been such a massive learning curve which has challenged me in SO many ways. I also didn’t expect more than about two people to be interested in it, so when I think back on all the wonderful comments I’ve received, it kind of blows my mind.

I still don’t really know how I fell so hard for this ship, it wasn’t supposed to happen! Initially, I only wanted to cover the events of Explosivos because it’s such an interesting episode for their canon relationship never mind anything else, as it shows Javi’s unwavering loyalty to Carrillo taking full effect when he shifts from passive to active participant (the disagreement they have over Gacha is so raw and they both seem genuinely hurt by each other’s words…it’s one of my favourite scenes in the whole show), but soon decided I had to fix everything and it sort of morphed into an emotional slow burn?? I don’t even know and it certainly wasn’t supposed to get this ambitious or take up so much of my time. But their dynamic seems to really suit my writing style and the more I wrote for them the harder I fell and the more they became my comfort ship, so here we are in the depths of rarepair hell lol.

2. Secret Santa 

Pairing: Javier Peña x Steve Murphy (Narcos)

I think this one will always hold a special place in my heart because it was the first fic I shared ❤️ A lot fluffier than some of my more recent writing, but it was Christmas and I still love the gifts I chose for them to give to each other. They feel very them.

3. All In

Pairing:  Steve Murphy x Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo (Narcos)

Tbh I have no excuses for this utter smut fest that somehow also doubled up as a character study 😂 Do you ever re-read some of your older fics and can’t quite get your head around the fact it was you who wrote them? Because this is definitely one of those lolol. 

I’ve always been obsessed with the dynamics between these three, as there are so many fascinating layers going on. I’m never getting over the intimacy and trust portrayed between Javi and Carrillo, to the exclusion of Steve (and the viewer, seen as we see everything from Steve’s POV and we aren’t privy to Javi’s and Carrillo’s history either, but it’s blatantly there). Then on top of that you’ve got Javi being (over)protective of Steve, Carrillo being wary of Steve, Steve wanting to impress and be included by Carrillo and Javi but also not being afraid to sometimes push back against Carrillo...unlike Javi who is wrapped around his little finger. Honestly, they provide so much fic material.

4. Healing Hands

Pairing: Horacio Carrillo x Female Reader (Narcos)

Well, this originally started out as a ridiculously self-indulgent one-shot written in one sitting after I pulled my neck and could barely move. For some reason, I couldn’t get the thought of a certain grumpy Colonel’s hands out of my head and a massage seemed like an obvious use for them 😉 But then I got encouraging comments hoping for a sequel and it ended up being three parts of utter self-indulgence (and more feelings and character study than I had originally intended) and I have no regrets lol.

5. In Another Life

Pairing: Esteban x Female Reader (There Is a New World Somewhere)

As my only non-Narcos fic so far, I thought I’d include this for a bit of variety lol. This stemmed from one of the Maurice Monday group chats last Christmas, when apparently I was feeling all melancholic about the festive season and who better to scratch that bittersweet itch with than Esteban? That film messes me up every time I watch it 😭 So I transported him and reader to a log cabin in the snow for some angsty smut...although actually, there’s not that much smut and it’s mostly just lots of feelings and wistful yearning. It’s interesting to compare this Christmas fic to the previous year’s fluff fest...I guess I decided to embrace the pain in my writing over the course of a year?! 😂

#Fic author self rec #Narcos fic #Narcos #Javier Peña #Horacio Carrillo #Carrillo #Steve Murphy #There is a New World Somewhere #Esteban #Pedro Pascal #Maurice Compte #Boyd Holbrook #Asks #Ask #Replies

[danpuff-ao3]

🌈🌿🎀 please!! Thank you~

Hey CBG!!!! Thanks for the asks! 😄🌼

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Hmm! Good question! I'm pretty candid about my writing experiences, I think. Which is a nice way of putting "Danni is a chatterbox and never shuts up ever." Some stories are harder to tell than others.

I was pretty open about how difficult Contempt was, which is one of the most challenging experiences I've had. The second worst was Collateral Damage. While Contempt is the culmination of all of my Snarry feels, Collateral Damage is the whole of my Dron feels, so writing both felt deeply personal and important, made all the harder since I decided to write both for fests. (Not my best decisions except...maybe they were. I'm very proud of both of those fics, and they were able to participate in fests dedicated to their ships!)

While I have mentioned it, maybe Obscene and smile with sweet surprise are up there. Both were ideas that were very important to me that I very stupidly decided to gift people haha. So it was "pressure on" (since both were gifts for creators I admired very much.)

smile with sweet surprise isn't even done yet so is probably the hardest one. At the time I first began, it was a story for a friend. And if you know my history then you'll know it was for an old friend tied to a pretty rough period in my life. (Thus the removal of the gift tag.) (Which felt very mean but it was that or I'd never be able to stomach looking at the fic again.) In fairness, it's connection to that period of my life is one of many reasons it's difficult to push ahead with. On top of it being a story I care a lot about, the stylistic nature of the writing, and also...it's just too dang hot. It's hard to write things that hot, you know!! I have to stop frequently to fan myself and rehydrate.

Though maybe the ones that might be news to someone would be my threesome/moresome fics. The Alchymist and The Alchymist II, as well as Blue Velvet. The Alchymist duology I actually deleted back in 2020 (due to rude people) and in a stroke of sheer madness I rewrote both to switch from past tense to present tense before reposting for Kinktober 2021 and Kinkuary 2022. Yikes. Writing moresomes is hard enough, but looking back at those fics is just cringeworthy and honestly just hurts my feelings. I only reposted them as a reminder to not let rude people get to me like that.

Blue Velvet, though...that's one I'm quite proud of! But it was a big ole challenge. Not only was it a threesome, but alternating POVs! Which I rarely do, and for good reason. It's hard to be really true to a character voice while maintaining a good flow for a story, at least in my experience. Then I wanted to have each POV be more or less evenly represented. I'm very proud of the final product boy BOY was it a ride getting there!!!! (If anyone's going to read anything I listed, pelase let it be Blue Velvet, which is Harry/Scorpius/Severus!!)

Oh also...my dead dove monstrosities, Safe and In My Veins (In My Blood.) Not for the subject matter itself so much as striving for the ultimate emotional impact with both. I'm a lady who likes to do my dead dove justice, you know!

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Depends on the fic!

Some fics flow easily. Gray Eyes (Tell No Lies), Lover Boy at Play, Teardrop in Your Palm, 2+2=4some, The Best Kept Secrets. [Currently Anon fic in Super Problematic Fest.] Writing those felt like loosing a waterfall. I opened the door and it all flooded out of me and swept me along for the ride. Those works feel like magic.

Other fics are a labor of love. Contempt, Collateral Damage, Romantic Notions, Black Skies, A Matter of Time. The Thon fic I just finished the rough draft for. They're buried so deep, you have to rip them out with tooth and nail. It's pulling it out kicking and screaming. It's blood, sweat, and tears. And then it comes out wrong, it seems, and while you're on the ground, exhausted and sore, you have to trudge back up to then whip it into shape. It is grueling. Awful. Makes me question my sanity. "I do this for fun???? Who does this for fun???? What about this is fun????"

Even with those, the end result is the same. Pride. Accomplishment. The awe of bringing a story to life. Of bringing form to my imagination. It feels very powerful, in a way.

Some stories are easy breezy charmwork. Others are all ritual and sacrifice. But it's all magic at the end of the day.

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

...do I have to?? Ack...Okay um. I can occasionally string words together coherently. Just kidding sorta. Hmm. I suppose I'm good at making people feel things. I know what my goals are with any given story, and I generally know how to achieve those goals, however strange or difficult they might be. I know how to pull back and carve out unnecessary details. I pay special mind to word choice and punctuation usage, every little bit of it intentioned and by design. I'm pretty good at telling stories without having to spoon feed my readers, and without having to tell every single bit of the story. I stay true to my vision and what I'm passionate about. And I think that comes through to other people, or so I've been told!

Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks

#asked & answered #fic writer asks