#really should have experimented before august actually started but i did not so i guess we're just going with this :') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

feuqueerfire · 2 years

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'Cause You're My Boy Live Blogging

The Frank/Drake show. Apparently, the production is bad but some people still enjoy the story and pairing. I watched episode 1 part 1 and 2 before but got sidetracked, so here's to finishing it now.

Episode 1 (August 1)

1-1

Did I notice Khaotung the first time I started watching this? I remember seeing AJ/JJ here but not Khaotung so maybe not? I think I've grown more fond of Khao recently, so I hope he shows up often

something about it really is so high school boys. I feel some envy for being a boy in high school

lol the porn selling

1-3

This show... should I drop it before I get too deep into it? Becaus the production and editing is truly bad

1-4

This public attempt at humiliating Tee by giving him gay porn in a cafe is killing me

They call his father Muad Moo instead of dad or whatever, that's interesting. Is Muad a different title that's still respectful or are they on a first name basis. very interesting parent child dynamic because Mork is straight up selling porn right in front of his father as well

jizz-covered pants I'm dead

oh dang, they're just teasing each other and playing around while Mork washes Tee's hair. The animosity's kinda gone?

oh they used to know each other?! And haven't seen each other for 3 years

"Are you or aren't you?" did Tee just try to kinda kiss Mork?

Okay interesting episode despite it being badly made. It's like... raw in a way other shows aren't. It's not polished but that also means we get to see the pimples and pores in the characters' faces, we get to see Mork and his family actually doing their job (not some random ambassador who goes abroad) and living in their barbershop apartment. It's very teenage boy-ish with the porn and the jizz, as well; neither character is shy about it. Also I'm curious about the family dynamics, they seem so freaking chill with each other.

Episode 2 (August 1)

2-1

The budget for this show could not have been more than 3 dollars

ngl I'm confused by how they've become so buddy buddy again so quickly since there was so much animosity but I guess they just decided to be friends again and put that little thing behind them

Oof, already got some teasing for being gay (even though they're not even dating yet)

a mention of masturbation

Tee's been calling his own other phone while he said that's his gf's phone number? hm

"I like dudes. No! I am a dude."

Okay I remember something about this having fake dating, so I guess there's that

2-2

This is so cringe I'm passing away T.T

2-3

...wait, are the girls gay? "Break up with Tee" "Who I like/date is none of your business" "I care about you! Your business is mine"

oh lmfao immediately followed by "You're not my type, Ching" I mean this wouldn't stop anything in a BL storyline but I probably would've heard something if they got a GL sideplot

Neo and Phuwin are really endearing

lmfao this condom discussion and being inexperienced. It feels so... real somehow like raw and unpolished and teenagers in high school

2-4

bro they got the oishi sponsorship but how is their budget still like 300 baht. even in this scene Frank's voice is hardly being picked up

this could be cute but it's just so badly made like Mork pushing Tee before leaving who falls and Mork coming back to check up on Tee even though he's mad could be so good. The director or editor or whoever just can't build up tension or get the emotions across

still, something about it is sooo raw like when Mork's character puts his hands on Tee's face to warm him up but then gets awkward and is like ahh what the hell am I doing? it's endearing

The series continues to have a ton of shortcomings in the technical department but something about it is still so raw as if these are real high school boys. The way they talk about sex or innuendos without shyness and with lots of cheekiness and teasing but also they don't have experience with dating or sex and so are awkward with what's going on is endearing and seems real

Episode 3 (August 2)

3-1

The boner at the drop of a hat. bro this is so teenage boy i wish i had been a boy as a teenager

3-2

Gord spending 20k baht to get those insta followers for Morn's IG of the barbershop... rip

Mork getting a nosebleed looking at Tee's photo and zoning in on his bulge lol

3-3

This show is actually about porn. The main characters are Mork, Tee, porn, and side characters Morn and Gord are below them

gonna try to figure out if his fake-boyfriend is gay by showing gay porn. "watch porn now, eat later"

foiled plan. fake-boyfriend refuses to watch porn and is instead like Mork, give me a hug"

planning some underage drinking

3-4

I wanna know what Muad means because is it actually his name? Mork was like "Swadee krap, Muad" when entering and wai-ed to him, so it's still respectful enough to be addressed in this situation

naurr not the "someone else can eat it" thrown back at Tee

Morn literally just calls Tee "Brother's Boyfriend" literally just "Faen Hia" instead of "P'Tee" or something

Gord and Morn use the same phone? Also, Gord's so worried about Morn being scammed/in danger at the shoot or whatever, it's cute

um ?

Episode 4 (August 3)

4-1

well the porn test backfired

the woman who plays the teacher/supervisor?/punishment dweller is so cute and pretty

4-2

a school lesson about love which focuses on queerness

oh, the teacher person knows Tee? Siblings?

4-3

poor Morn, everyone could see that scam a mile away but I'm glad they escaped unscathed. Also I assumed Gord/his family had some money considering he spent 20k baht to help Morn's insta following but my guy's father has an expensive car (that the show can't afford but y'know it's supposed to be) and a bodyguard chauffeur person.

Gord/Morn are freaking endearing

4-4

I knew the sexual assault was coming but it's like like... agh yeah skipping through

Episode 5 (August 4/5)

5-2

So what are Morn and Tee? a situationship where they both know they like each other? or are they like dating/in a relationship?

5-3

Like it's not that it's not cute but I'm bored

5-4

have I seen this bridge before? Is it the same one as SOTUS? Anyway, they're officially boyfriends now.

bro what how can you hear Tee saying "we'll meet tonight" on the phone and just start leaving lmfao. I mean Tee does say that he's Bam so the intuition isn't wrong but talk about dramatics lol

I just don't care is the thing.

August 08: Okay I'm making the executive decision... to drop this lol Momentous because this is the first BL I'm dropping I think? but I'll put it On Hold in MDL just in case. I actually stopped watching this after watching the first two parts of episode 1 many weeks ago so maybe I should've just stopped there. Or maybe it's foreshadowing that I'll pick it back up again and finish it?

I stopped at Episode 5, which is when they’ve gotten together and it’s all happy, so I’m not like curious at all about what happens next lol. The show had really different and raw depictions of teenage boys that we don't tend to see in BLs and I enjoyed that aspect but the technical aspects are so bad + since I'm kind of going through a BL slump, that combined with the fact that I've been busy with schoolwork means I haven't gotten attached to the show since I'm watching at a snail's pace.

#ep by ep commentary

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ravenoustaurus · 2 years

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July 3, 2022 || SUN [07:23 am]

So I never got around to writing about this until now. I got fired the week after Mac's wedding. It came as a big ass shock to me because from the beginning of that week, our manager was praising me and even the Vice President complimented my work. But I'm mostly over it at this point. I vented about it to Mia when we drank gin i think last Saturday or was it two weeks ago? I can't remember very well when it happened. Other than that I attempted to work for a different company the very week after I got fired that paid more. But the work required took too much from me mentally and emotionally. It was energetically draining. I really am not meant for work that requires talking 99%. So I quit after first day of training. I've been trying for other companies since. But no luck so far. I did have an interview last night though, for a discord moderator position. I feel like it went well for the most part. I hope I do get that job. If not I'll force myself to start that business that I've been planning for years. I'm trying to meditate but whenever I feel like I'm mentally ready to do so, I'm too sleepy and I just end up sleeping. But right now, after I finish this entry I intend to meditate, since I'm not very tired. The reason I'm mentioning meditation is because I feel and know that I really need it and it'll really help me kind of unravel what exactly is holding me back. I feel like I only have a vague idea of what it is that's keeping me bound. So I want to dive deeper and figure things out. Brother and I had a talk about panic attacks and hearing voices when we aren't hyper fixated or preoccupied by something. There are a lot of similarities with what we feel and experience, and we both came to the conclusion that we might actually have ADD/ADHD. Which I think we obviously do have. It's also pretty evident with dad and geen and gourdo and mom. So like, I guess it's a genetic thing. Also Brother was saying that we might be experiencing these kinds of things due to PTSD. I haven't mentioned psychosis to him. But then again I feel like it's too complex for me to even try and hypothesize.

I met a really nice guy (I think) on bumble. He started really strong and asking me out so many times and giving me ideas on where we could go out to eat but then he just stopped talking to me. It's been two weeks since he last messaged me today. I feel like I may have said or did something weird? I don't know. My optimist side is ofc telling me that he's just busy. But then again come on, I'm not that stupid anymore. This probably ain't it just yet. But maybe, hopefully, I'm getting close. I'm getting sick of talking to so many guys and imagining futures with them. That's actually one of the main things I feel like I need to debunk. I feel like it affects my life severely and in a negative way. I need to find something else that would keep me from spacing out and hearing voices that would keep me preoccupied like painting or doodling or something. I feel like I should keep a list of things to do when I start getting lost in my head. I'm gonna do that right now before I meditate.

Other than that, apparently Cai and Mac are having a baby girl and she's due this august 6th. I and so very happy for them. Gel and I have seen each other 3 times since the wedding (including that weekend). Ryan and Chuck got covid recently but I think that they're getting better now. I've been recording some songs, too. Right now I just feel like I don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks of me. Not even the people that I have a little crush on. I just feel like I shouldn't act in any way. If my natural self scares or creeps or freaks people out then fuck them, I'm not changing anything about myself other than my toxic traits, or anything that needs growth. But my quirks? Fuck no. The world just has to fucking deal with it.

**note: something of significance might happen this July 27th. **

#diary entry #dear diary #tumblr diary #romance #love #thinking #adhd feels #feelings

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meandmyechoes · 2 years

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Progress report

Haha where did I left off last time. Um, I don’t think I ever really started documenting it. So, my body donor arrived after the LNY and waited for another month, I finally beheaded her mid-March. I hadn’t done anything since except buying two more pieces of green at the most I’ve spent on doll clothing so far. A few days ago, I drafted and mocked the base dress for her. It was a simple mid-sleeve A-line dress. I did modify the pattern five times but it is easy to sew with few seams. I enjoyed the experiment process so I can get it right and I don’t want to waste the actual fabric.

1. Babysoka

I did all of these thinking before I purchased the jointed 18″, however, I still want to further modify it. One thing is her thighs are a bit loo long and less cute in proportion. It would be fairly straightforward just to remove a section of it and reattach. The scar would be covered by leggings/skirt anyway. But I can live with that and it’s more an aesthetic choice than practicality, so I’m still debating if it’s worth it. I think we can decide that after we finish the base colouring and outfit. Secondly, the hands. They are not removable but fortunately not entirely glued shut. I should be able to separate the palm from the ring in the wrist joint that refuses to unplug. The outspread fingers made it difficult to dress and the sleeves would need to be widened in consideration, which deducts points in accuracy. At first I thought I’d just made it removable but It came to me that I might as well give it fingers articulation? I’m not sure how yet, but I sure can find resources on that. I wonder if I could just buy a pair of bjd hands in the right scale? On top of my head I could try the traditional armature + foam/clay. I can imagine it working like HTka’s seamless arm but I’m not sure I can stand the hands being a different material and texture with the rest of the body... But before all that, I think maybe the palm could be pushed together a little with a couple of hot water dunk. I’ll try that next time.

The lack of ankle articulation bothers me too but it’s not that essential really. I’ve just been spoiled by mtm/ht 😅

Babysoka is a little overshadowed by August arriving and overloading school work made me forgot about her for more than a month. I, actually don’t have a deadline to finish her... I guess I’ve been seeing a lot of people also making their own Ahsoka 18″ doll (but AG or human) I feel like I could slack and take the time to perfect it. Especially the dress. Because I want her to be glam. Eh, glam is probably not the right word but I want to give her a better dress than the one layer printed painted on shift she had in the show. At this point this project has deviated so far from the original vision of “Animator replica” I might as well to give her the best. I guess it’d be a really thoughtful sentiment to finish her in time for my (hypothetical) graduation ceremony? I bet she’d be cuter than what everyone else has. I don’t actually want to take as long as til November, but finishing her in June seems a bit ambitious. I mean I could do it if I had my June weekends cleared but I don’t want to promise anything. It could maybe bleed a little into July but I prefer not what with the handover holiday and I want to reserve my birthday month to FODka whom I’ve been neglecting for nearly a year. We still have to finish that photoshoot from last birthday, bottom line. We need to remake some part of the rex sailor and hopefully make another two? in the series (fives and wolffe).

2. August

Then August is, for August, definitely, and it’s definitely a two-months minimum project, may even bleed into October. I guess that’s alright. Fall feels like a right season too. I already thought of the staircase and balcony where I want to take the photos (in TST). It looks SO good in my head right now and I’m really excited for it. The thing is as much as I have the energy to throw myself headfirst into a project now after a long time, a lot of IRL logistics is preventing me from working on it including but not limited to the NECESSITY to move out, or at least a MASSIVE rehaul of my current living arrangement and of course, career. Having a job is only going to boost my creative input because then I’d have a rigid schedule plus sense of security with an active income. (It would also unironically encourage me to splurge on fabrics and accessories but)

All that aside, let’s get back to the exciting part! The base dolls for August has arrived and I’ve been playing with them for the past two weeks. I had SO much fun. I can’t believe my first barbie is, this. I’m not sure I own an authentic barbie when I was a child but I must’ve had a few hand-me-downs. I was bit of a ‘girl toys are stupid!’ kid but I really wanted a styling head. I like the more ‘practical’ toys like doll house, closet and cook sets. Anyway, it’s also hilariously ironic my first hair play doll is a Ken doll. His hair was so soft I’m honestly surprised.

It was a delightful experience unboxing the dolls. Not the plastic part but, the joy and excitement of a new toy and to marvel at a thing of beauty. Looks #8 is gorgeous, even without the Ventress inspiration I would love to own one and I do NOT regret buying doubles (I want a third one). I’m honoured to have her as my first official barbie. Her eye makeup steals my heart and that hairstyle and platinum blonde is everything. She is so cool I love her. I lol at her box hair because I didn’t expect that much gel lol. I made sure to research twice for the flocking before washing it out. It’s not all out yet but you can try flipping the hair and this is where I want a third because I was suddenly very inspired to give her a Marilyn/50s inspired look🤣? I immediately want to order extra fashion even if I have more urgent matters. It’s kind of hard to imagine her outside of a black-and-white palette right now, but I’ll see what happen. I think I might unbox the other one after I finish August but I’m already overwhelmed with how many toys that’s fighting for my attention now😂

#9, has such a himbo energy I can’t stop laughing the moment I lay eyes on him. Those horrible silver pants (quality’s fine but the COLOUR) need to go but I don’t have replacements so he’s still wearing that right now. I really like the sculpt, that some say is indigenous inspired. He’s like the perfect base with the chin and cheekbones and hair and just a bit darker. I’m so excited to do his hair. I just line up two braids in front of him and the vibe was already there. Technically I CAN just do his hair and leave everything later but I’m gonna delay that satisfaction for myself.

The other surprise was the MTM body deserves more credit than I gave it. It was so fun to twist it and turn it and not having to be mindful for damage like an HT. It’s an unfair comparison and it’s probably my fault, but Andra IS posing a lot better than HTka lol. It’d be interesting to compare HT’s male body with #9.

Naturally, the official plastic feels so much smoother and sturdier than the knock-off that’s 1/10 its price. However, in terms of articulation, the knock-off is only slightly behind. If you’re using them as clothes hangers, a knock-off is an alright substitute. I’d have less worries in dyeing them as well. That would leave me more budget for hunting a better headsculpt, that’s all that’s important.

Finally, not a complaint but a MAJOR problem I’m not sure how to solve yet: height difference. And it’s honestly, only important to me looking at them in person because I could’ve let him stand on a box or photoshop it somehow. but... #8 and #9 are exactly the same height and Vos needs to be taller than Ventress by 13cm, a little more than 2cm in doll form. And it’s not their problem, Vos is just extra tall at 191, Ventress is accurate. I don’t want to go out and buy a new male body just for this (time cost), but it’s lowkey driving me crazy if one of the cutest thing between these two doesn’t exist. I think I might give him surgery in the thighs not unlike Babysoka 😅😣 (and Vos’s height need to be solved for fit and proportion is crucial for a white tie event!)

Actual Progress: Well, I haven’t sourced the fabric yet, but at least I’ve figure out how to do the skirt. I will make two layers. The top black semi-sheer chiffon (for screen accuracy) slightly gathered and the under layer shiny (possibly gauze or a soft netting) - with beading/sequins/glitter/silver thread - haven’t decided for ~glam~. I don’t think they need to be sewn together, despite the unfortunate fact the look will never walk down the runway :( I am a bit worried about how the edges should be finished, but I’m sure I will learn in time. I tried draping a corset once so I should be able to do it again. It’s sourcing the snakeskin leather that’s hard right now. Also the book’s description and the concept art is a little bit different. The book said the bodice has ‘a subtle swirling pattern of dark-purple embroidery’ and I took it to mean the fabric is purple flocking + black velvet background but the concept art shows a scaly with specific placements that it is clearly product of manipulation instead of just a natural piece of leather. What the book says was a miniskirt thingy sandwiched between the corset and the main skirt train. I still want to use velvet/flocking for it instead of embroidery because I like the contrast it gives with the hard leather. But there’s still room for it because the decoration on the gloves is 99% embroidery-required. It would probably be more mismatched if silk is used for the gloves, but leather gloves doesn’t seem as flexible... Yeah, that was the major obstacle to the bodice besides a well-constructed corset. I want to use a glossy leather but I’m afraid of the inherent thickness of the material and how badly it shall translate into doll form. Lastly, the CORSET – the lacing. I’m gonna be crazy if I have to actually lace it every time I put on/take off the outfit (no that I expect to change outfit a lot, given how many pieces of armour there is in the bounty hunter outfit). So it was already kind of begging why BOTH front and back is laced in the design instead of the one side clasped norm. Like, do you UNDERSTAND it begs WHO lace it up boy. Anyway my conclusion is the back is going to be a faux/pre-laced and become the top of the Velcro* piece. After another count, the 11 dots are not grommets but… button cores the lace go around? Can it really be secured this way?? What about the lace itself? Literally a lace? a ribbon? a string? embroidery thread?

That’s a lot on my plate, but mostly the sourcing of fabric. I shall make another trip but the last two hasn’t been inspiring. I’d rather buy fabrics in person just to support local sellers unless it’s something so specific I can only find with a keyword search.

For Vos, “black trousers, comfortable leather boots and a white tunic with bold golden stripes” is all that there is. I scratched my head how that could be formal enough for a gala. It, isn’t even three pieces? Anyway, it’s Star Wars so I really shouldn’t think about it in normal fashion terms. That said, the shirt + pants combo seem too Earthlike and modern compared to the robes and gowns of the gffa. Either way, it falls to me to accesorise him and what do I know of menswear. I tried to search for runway looks from the late 90s (both centuries) and McQueen for inspiration. In the end, I decide to go with my original vision of a poet/pirate shirt. Exaggerated bell sleeves but tight cuffs, low neckline for sluttiness, and a contrast of material in the shirt (stiff) and sleeves (short), symmetric. The trousers can just be kept sleek and crisp like described, with traditional, or maybe more expensive wool/suit. I hope I don’t ended up over designing it, because my brain is telling me either the top or bottom should have a subtle pattern. I might be holding out on a double gold chain cape just now even though it’d be delicious to lean into the vader/dooku imagery, but GLOVES IS A MUST. Not sure how to fit it on without mittenized but I will save the thought for now.

oh the other thing I found was I was hoping Ken shoes could fit Ahsoka but his foot is longer than hers by 1cm ☹

Yeah, but for August I guess it’s this just now. I have the base dolls and I’m ready to do the hairstyles, so repaint and skintone is ready as that is. In the meantime, I must source the fabric and hopefully produce a drawing of Vos’s outfit. They have suitable plastic shoes for now and we can decide later whether to make fabric/leather shoes. Lightsabers and power source can be helped with gundam sabers and photoshop magic so that’s taken care of. If the result turns out really really good and I wan tto take the extra step of accuracy I could always find a 3D file online and print them in school. Oh Jewelery! The snakc necklace is kind of important so I do want to make it metallic. I hope a snake ring work in scale, otherwise I might have to sculpt it from silver clay.

Now that’s done, I think it’s kind of, interesting, to think it’s only natural to turn #7 into Rhayme. I think it’s an interesting idea, and I certainly would love to take inspiration from Tamika’s layered hair colour and baby hairs, but I think I prefer Rhayme to be taller (she should be able to share Ventress’s clothes remember), and a pale doll is probably better for dyeing. Nevertheless, a petite pirate captain is super adorable!

That’s it for now. I realize I just left my first custom experiment halfway hehe. The Visions project is still on. I have all the materials set, and I’m ready to retry that mess of a faceup haha. It IS really hard to draw anime eyes but I will afford to be patient this time. Just that with all these projects lined up seems like I won’t allocate time to it until Visions S2 airs lol. Well, maybe it can be a background distraction project. All these the most difficult thing is filming it. I need to get back the small camera and setup and that but I don’t even have a reasonable workspace 😂 (remember what I said about living arrangements) Not expecting to launch a youtube career but I owe as much to document the process. 🤷‍♀️

3. Toys

Yeah, I bought so much I could make a haul. I lowkey want to do it, a low-stake video just rant about what I like. That said, probably can’t be around to film it until after the 20th. And then HT releases Ahsoka and Anakin pretty close for me, just two weeks apart. I was two hours behind on Ahsoka and had to wait for an entire month, but I was a day late for Anakin, and I got him the next day! Which means not much people ordered Anakin. Can’t say that’s a good thing for the future of the CW line, and can’t say it’s the wisest of the people if CW flashbacks ended up real in Kenobi. I have only unboxed both figures for checking and left their lightsabers untouched so far. Last Thursday morning, I thought I could finally catch a breath with the exams and pose Ahsoka and Rex in the Kotobukiya stance, and then the Amazon orders arrived, just after noon, I got the message Anakin has arrived. And I have to pick the busiest time to go to the store🙄. Anakin was really fun, and his outfit was done so much better than Ahsoka’s 🙄 (It’s lined, and of a much softer polyester than Ahsoka’s single-layer plastic). Even though it’s $100 more but minus rolling eyeballs, it’s well worth it with an extra cape and light-up saber. The armour piece being extendable to allow movement took me by surprise. I guess hot toys is just better at making male figures than female ones. I don’t know when I’ll have time to play with them with so much projects in the wait.

#echoesdiary

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daydreaming-in-letters · 3 years

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Three Nights (Unconditional sequel)

Night One

05/21/2021

Pairing: August Walker x fem!reader (3rd person)

Word Count: 1,457

Warnings: soft!August, fluff to smut (at least a bit), cockwarming

Summary: August has kept his promise to side with Hunt and his team against Lane. Now he is eager to check whether they kept their promise as well.

A/N: So here it is, the sequel to Unconditional so many of you requested. To prolong your enjoyment, I decided to split it up into three parts. We're starting out slow with the first one, but I promise there is much more to come.

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. Please don’t copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

Neither of them had spoken a word since they had gotten into the car at the airport. But now, as Hunt slowly brought the black coupé to a stop in front of a lovely little house, August couldn’t hold back the question any longer that had been pressing on his mind ever since the moment the plane had left its point of departure.

“Is she here?”

He stared out into the darkness, trying to get a better look at his new home, but it was too dark to make out any details. There was a palm tree in the front yard, softly swaying in the breeze, and a small path that led up to the door, that was all he managed to identify in the pitch black. Not one of the windows was illuminated and there was also no other sign of life in the house. And the longer it took Hunt to answer, the more worried he became.

He was almost furious, lips pressed together in a tight line, when he pulled his eyes away from the house and looked over at his driver.

“Is. She. Here?” he repeated through gritted teeth. God, he wanted to punch that pint-sized son of a bitch so much, but just when his fist was starting to clench, Hunt nodded.

“Here are your keys and the code to deactivate the alarm system.”

There was nothing left to say, only the desire remaining inside of him to leave the car and finally begin his new life with her. But as usual he could count on Hunt to interfere with his plans.

“You know, you really should thank her on your knees, Walker. If it hadn’t been for her, I would have made it my personal duty to see that you received your just punishment. But I’m afraid a deal is a deal and you’re a free man now.”

Kneading the keys in his hand, a rush of triumph settled in the pit of his stomach. And with a jubilant smile on his lips, August stated, “Oh, the things you need to endure to save the world if you’re one of the good guys.” And with that he stepped out into the mild night air and waited until the car pulled away.

He inhaled deeply, taking in the salty air of the sea and the heavy scent of lavender as he made his way over to the front door. Smiling to himself, he remembered the last time he had smelled those fragrances and he couldn’t help but wonder if this place had been chosen incidentally or if she had somehow succeeded in persuading them to pick it.

Careful not to make a noise, he let himself in, first disabling the alarm she had actually set like a good girl and then enabling it again for the night. He didn’t know how often he had told her that she needed to stay safe and use the bloody alarm, but she never listened to him. She must be quite frightened if she decided to finally use it now. His heart clenched violently at the thought.

And so he didn’t waste another second before he made his way upstairs.

It wasn’t really hard to guess which room was the bedroom. Obviously, it lay behind the only closed door, for she couldn’t sleep when the door wasn’t neatly shut. Sneaking over, he quietly mouthed a profanity when one of the floorboards creaked violently under his foot. But as he finally pushed down the handle and stepped into the room, it seemed that she was still sound asleep.

She had chosen the right side of the bed for herself, facing away from the door - and from him. And so he rounded the bed, looking down at her sleeping form. Why did it have to be so impossibly dark tonight? He could hardly make out any of her beloved features that he had been looking forward to seeing again so much.

God, it seemed like an eternity since that morning in London. She had still been fast asleep when Hunt had come to get him, and he simply hadn’t found it in himself to wake her. It had broken his heart to leave without looking into her beautiful eyes one last time, and so he had at least allowed himself to caress her soft cheek once more.

And as he recalled the memory, he found his hand drifting towards her face now as well. Overwhelmed by the sensation of her warm skin underneath his fingertips, he needed to close his eyes for a second to contain himself.

“Did they treat you right, my queen?”

He knew that she couldn’t hear him and still he wanted to finally release the thought that had tormented him for so long. Of course he had been separated from her before, but never had he been forced to leave her in the hands of his enemies, not knowing if they would actually keep their word and protect her. A feeling he never wanted to experience again, and he would make sure of that.

Tenderly, he caressed her cheek one last time before he drew away. By the foot of the bed he discarded of his clothes in a hurry, leaving them where they landed. She would probably scold him for that in the morning, but he couldn’t care less. He needed to feel her, skin on skin, that was paramount now, nothing else.

And so he dove underneath the sheets, scooting closer towards her warm form carefully until his chest was firmly pressed against her back. Possessively, his arm snaked around her middle, pulling her just a little closer, while his nose dove into her hair to inhale her sweet scent.

“You know you’re lucky I can distinguish your footsteps from millions of others, my love. Otherwise I would have slit your throat the moment you set foot into this room.”

A deep chuckle rolled from his chest. “I should’ve known you were awake all along.” Her ferocity sent a bolt of lightning straight down to his groin, and there was no doubt that she would actually keep her word should anyone else ever try to invade her private space without permission.

“Now give me that knife, princess. You won’t need it tonight.”

With a soft groan she turned in his arms, and despite the darkness he could clearly see the shine of the metal blade in front of his face. A pleased smile on his lips, he took it from her and disposed of it on his night stand without taking his eyes off of her. If he had, however, he might have noticed the white plastic object she had left there for him, to find as soon as he got home.

But he didn’t, eager to be close to her. And so was she, wrapping herself around him as soon as he had settled in properly beside her again. With a hunger that hadn’t been fed for weeks, her lips found his and she felt herself melting into him as soon as she could taste him on her tongue. Eagerly her fingers dug into his silky skin, her nails marking him as hers as she pulled a heady grunt from his chest. The vibration shot right down into her core, causing a wave of heat that spread through her whole body.

“I can’t believe they didn’t tell me when you would arrive,” she gasped at his lips.

“Probably for safety reasons,” he hurried to give back before he engaged her lips in another searing kiss.

“I missed you so much, Augie.” Her forehead leaned against his as she caught her breath.

“I know, my sweet angel. I missed you, too.”

He didn’t know exactly what about his words had been so funny, but somehow they made her giggle sweetly.

“I can tell.”

And when he suddenly felt her hand around his hardening length, he understood.

“Let me take care of you.”

Her fingers had already started to move, pumping him just in the right pace and it would have been so easy to give in. But instead, he heard himself say, “No. It’s late, darling, and you need your sleep. But - “ he was quick to add before she would start to pout, “I appreciate the effort. So, how about I let you keep daddy’s cock warm until morning?”

His sinful words alone were enough to make her juices flow freely in anticipation of being filled by him the whole night through. And as he pulled her closer to adjust himself, sinking into her with an agonising slowness, his exact choice of words left her wondering if he had probably seen the positive pregnancy test on his night stand after all.

Part 2

***

Tag List: please let me know if you want to be removed or added by either ask or DM - thank you!

@summersong69 @myloveforhenrycavill @dorothea-hwldr @omgkatinka @ashesofblackroses @amberangel112 @madbaddic7ed @icarusblinders @zealoushound @asuni921 @agniavateira

#august walker x reader #august walker #august walker x you #august walker imagine #august walker fic #august walker fanfiction #august walker fanfic #henry cavill #henry cavill imagine

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wososage · 3 years

Text

It’s too much: USWNT x baby!Reader

Request: hope ur ok! if ur taking requests maybe baby r is from a rough city and grew up dirt poor and when the team finds out they shower her with gifts and r tries to not accept them but the girls won't let her

Word count: 1119

Warnings: maybe cussing

A/N: so i wrote a thing. i felt inspired this morning and then was actually able to make my brain think words. anyways i am alive and well. i know its probably been like a year since i have posted an imagine but i am finally in somewhat of a good place with life. hope you like it. send me messages i would love to talk to you guys. you can send requests but i make no promises about when i will write again.

A/N part 2: apparently i posted something in august but i do not remember that all

Y/N POV

“What’s the best present you have ever gotten for your birthday?” Sam asks.

“I dunno,” I respond just above a whisper, hoping she won’t hear me and will let it go.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Sam asks flabbergasted. “There has to be something that sticks out in your mind.”

“I’ve never celebrated my birthday,” I mumble while taking an interest in the carpet. “We just don’t have the money for it.”

Thankfully Sam realizes how uncomfortable I am and changes the subject.

“Wanna see pictures of Finn?” she asks excitedly. I look up and smile at her, giving her all of the response she needs.

---------------------------

“Why are you being so weird right now?” I ask Sonnett. “You like on a whole new level of weird right now and it is kinda freaking me out.”

“I’m not being weird you are being weird,” Sonnett says to me.

“What are you and the squirrel planning right now?” I ask with a lot of seriousness in my voice. “Both of you have been acting weird all afternoon. Now that I think about it the whole team has been acting weird. Even Alyssa looked like she was hiding something when I met her for crosswords today.”

Sonnett just shrugs.

“I think that the chances of the whole team acting weird are really low which means that it is you that is acting weird Y/N,” Sonnett says. “Did you sleep well last night? Maybe you should go take a nap, you will feel better when you wake up.”

“I slept fine last night,” I counter. “I’m gonna go homework and zoom my teachers who aren’t acting weird like the rest of you. Maybe I will even go talk to Vlatko, he seems to be the only normal person around here today.”

I end up in my room doing homework for a few hours before there is a knock on my door interrupting my focus.

“Sup,” I say to Becky who is standing in the doorway with a suspicious look on her face. “Not you too! Why is everyone being so fucking weird today?”

“Watch your language,” Becky says with a pointed look.

“Sorry,” I mumble sheepishly while looking at the ground in an attempt to avoid her eyes.

“Come with me,” She says giving no further explanation.

“Why dinner isn’t for another hour,” I explain. “I want to finish some more homework so I can hang out with people tomorrow since it is our free day.”

“You can do your homework later,” she says. “Right now you are gonna take a break and come with me.”

“Fine,” I say grabbing my key before following her. “Do I finally get to find out why everyone has been acting so weird today?”

“Everyone seems to be acting normally to me,” Becky says.

I groan and start to drag my feet.

“That’s because you are also acting weird. All of you ate something or drank something and now I am the only normal human being on this team. If you all turn into zombies I’m going to kill you.”

“Wow Y/N, that’s just rude. How could you just kill us like that? We are the most important people in your life.”

“If the zombie apocalypse happens. I am playing to survive not to be nice to my friends who were stupid enough to get themselves turned into zombies.”

“Alright Y/N, do you want to know why we have all been acting weird?”

“YES! I have been wanting to know all day.”

“Come on then,” she says while opening the door to the meeting room.

When I walk in everyone is in there and the room is decorated for a birthday party.

“Happy birthday Y/N!” Becky says while hugging me.

“How long have you guys been planning this?” I ask. “This is incredible.”

“Since before Christmas when you told me you have never celebrated your birthday,” Sam explains. “We want you to be able to experience the joy of birthdays!”

“Thank you, Sammy,” I say while giving her a big hug.

“Present time!” Sonny yells while jumping up and down.

Everyone sits down in a circle and I realize that there is a large pile of presents waiting for me to open. Way too many presents for me to be able to accept.

“I can’t accept this,” I say. “This is too much.”

“Kid, please accept these gifts,” Ash says. “We are your family and we want to do this for you. We know your home life isn’t that great so we wanna help out how we can.”

“Are you guys sure?” I ask. “That’s a lot of gifts.”

“We decided that each person is only allowed to get you two gifts,” Becky explains. “One of them is something that will make your life easier such as clothes or gift cards to get food when you are home and the other one is something we want you to have because it will make you happy.”

“We also decided to have some fun with this,” Sonnett says while bouncing around like a hyperactive toddler. “You have to guess who the gift came from after you open it.”

“What do I get if I guess them all right?” I ask as my competitive nature starts to come out.

“Bragging rights,” Becky says.

“Good enough for me. Time to prove that I know you all very well.”

Grab the first present and as soon as I unwrap it, I know who gave it to me.

“Thanks for the pride flag Pinoe,” I say. “Also, I already registered to vote this morning but thanks for giving me instructions on how to do it.”

I go through all the presents and then I get to the final one but before I can unwrap it, Becky stops me.

“Almost all of us chipped in for this present,” Becky explains. “I know you are going to say it’s too much but we want you to have this and if it helps you can think of this as something that benefits us as well as you.”

I unwrap the gift and realize it is a switch with a bunch of games. As soon as I see it I tear up.

“This costs so much money. I’ve been saving up to buy one but there is never a good time to be able to drop so much money on something. Are you guys sure about this?”

“Y/N, we want you to have this. We know how much you have wanted one. Besides now we can force you to play video games with us all the time.”

“I love you guys. Thank you so much for doing this for me.”

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #sam mewis #emily sonnett #alyssa naeher #becky sauerbrunn #Ashlyn Harris #Megan Rapinoe

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northern-passage · 3 years

Note

hello i hope you are having a good day/night was wanting to ask if you did write any other games before this one or did you publish stories or something,,, i am trying to work on an IF but this is my first time and i do write but i have never published anything i also usually get bored fast and just yeah your story is so so good and you put a lot of effort and work into it just wondering if you have any tips or advice like the thought of publishing something is terrifying and i don’t know if i can do it i just don’t have faith in myself

i have not published anything before this!!!

i worked as an editor in college for our creative writing club/group and do technically have credit for that as we did publish an anthology together but i never submitted anything myself to be published, i just helped behind the scenes.

ive always done a bit of writing here and there for myself, and have had story ideas brewing in my mind but nothing i’ve ever gone out and finished or anything. kinda just writing for myself before this. technically i’ve always been much more of a reader than a writer.....

and like. i worked on the tnp prologue for...hmm.....maybe a month before i published it on the forums? part of that was simply mental illness x LOL i got fixated and it wasn’t healthy and i also already had a lot of the story beforehand because it was going to be a dnd campaign... but that’s not the point. i wrote the prologue and was kinda just sitting with it before biting the bullet and posting it. and i didnt really read a lot of interactive fiction before this last summer. i just happened to follow an artist that was into it and that was how i got introduced to everything and realized it was something i could just do!!! and that it would be a cool way to share a story and get feedback

i published my demo in august and like...whew if u read the first version of the prologue u get a veteran’s discount. it wasn’t BAD but it needed a lot of work. it sucks getting criticisms and that’s definitely...a big thing to get over in the beginning. the mortifying ordeal of sharing ur writing. but it’s helped me A Lot and tnp is only as good as it is because i decided to share it and subject myself to the mortifying ordeal lmao

also getting bored is something that happens! it just does. all creatives get bored with their work sometimes or just move on but it doesnt make u any less of a writer or artist or anything. there’s that one tiktok by ghosthoney....taking a break even if it’s for years doesnt take away from the fact that you’re a creator.

my biggest tips are just. first things first you just gotta go for it. just start writing, even if you don’t publish it. don’t feel like you NEED to publish stuff, especially if you’re not ready, and never feel like you need to ‘rush’ or anything. you have all the time in the world to write at ur own pace. and while i can’t promise u that one day you’ll wake up and just be like “i’m ready” a la spongebob...there will definitely come a day where u just make that jump. that’s what i did

second is try not to compare urself to others too much, especially when it comes to like...numbers? so like word counts, followers, updates, etc. like everyone writes at their own pace and some ppl are fast as hell whereas others take a lot longer and it’s just something that is personal. don’t compare the attention someone else might get to what you get - some ppl just have more vocal audiences than others and it doesnt mean ur any less appreciated. also being on the internet be sure to set ur own boundaries, what ur comfortable with, etc.

and again...publishing stuff does take courage and you gotta be ready for feedback. some of it will be genuinely helpful...some of it will not. and especially with IF, people might try and pressure you to make things a certain way. that was one thing i wasn’t really expecting? and sometimes as i said suggestions are actually helpful, because you really can’t think of everything on your own and another set of eyes helps round out choices, but there are also some that want things to go in a completely different direction and you got to make sure it’s actually something YOU want, something that fits the story, and not just something you’re doing to please readers.

the tone and setting of tnp and the fact that i have a bit of a more defined mc makes some of the suggestions i get just....not good LOL and you just got be ready to filter that kind of feedback

and with writing to publish, keep in mind that people’s tastes are unpredictable. you can almost never guess how people will react or what they will like, and something not being immediately popular doesn't mean it's bad or you should change the way you're writing, though you will want to keep ur audience in mind. and as for your audience, you may not attract the people you expect, and there’s really no way to control that - but again setting your own boundaries is most important, first and foremost.

posting stuff publicly is really just a wild card. there’s no one universal experience - it’s unpredictable, it’s scary, it’s hard, but it can also be really really rewarding

i also will say i got lucky that about a month and half? maybe? after i published my demo i joined an authors server that has been a HUGE help. i could totally hit u with that if you’re interested!! having a group of authors to talk to that “get it” is very nice. definitely try to interact with and follow other authors you like - in my experience they almost are always down to answer questions and offer help :-)

#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG OML.....#i hope..this helped a little at least.....sorry for my rambling 🤡#feel free to ask more questions too #ask #anonymous

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aurora-daily · 3 years

Text

You Don’t Need A Cure For Yourself! – Norwegian Pop-Star Aurora On Songwriting, Self-Doubt, And Community

Interview by Laura Gruebler for TITLE Magazine (August 14th, 2021).

If you haven’t heard about Aurora yet, you will surely recognise her song “Runaway”. Although this single was released back in 2015, it was only this year it gained massive popularity. “Runaway” has gone viral on Tik Tok and Instagram and is accordingly to Spotify amongst the top 50 TikTok songs of 2021.

However, this young singer/songwriter from Norway is more than just a one hit wonder. Aurora is a promising talent for songwriting and composing. In addition to that, her open mind, and sympathetic character enabled her to establish a loyal and ever growing fan base. In our interview we got to know this musician from a very personal side and she ceratinly gained some new supporters.

How are you today? What does a typical day in your life look like right now?

I’m fine, thanks for asking. It’s a bit of both, I’m a lot in the studio, but I just finished my album that is coming out soon, so I’m having a tiny holiday, which has been great. But yeah, it’s busy but fun. I’m very excited about what’s coming.

(The pandemic has been challenging for everybody differently. How did you experience lockdown? Did it have any impact on your creativity?)

Personally, I have quite enjoyed being forced by the virus to be more inside and to be less social. I do enjoy that kind of lifestyle, I like being home and alone. But of course it is a different experience when you know you don’t have any other choice. But I’ve enjoyed the space and the time. It’s been great for my creativity, I’ve been creating quite a lot. But of course, I’ve been sad on behalf of the world and the people. It’s been sad and equally healing. I’ve been very lucky, although I couldn’t work as much or go on tour.

What inspires you? How do you decide what to write about?

It can come very suddenly, very out of the blue and I’ll know when it’s the perfect line. I also always have long album titles, which just happen to me and from there I get very inspired and know what I’m going to do. For example, for the album that I just finished now, I knew the title last year in January, and then I started writing for it.

I always write a song with a mission to fit into a new story. It’s like every song is a new chapter of a book. And the meaning is very important, instinctive, and driven by my heart.

What makes a good song? What is more important: melody and instruments or lyrics and meaning?

Meaning always comes first, and often the melody. Or the title, I often begin with the title actually. I know my record name and the vision before I start writing for it. I like to write conceptually.

Your only Norwegian song “Stjernestøv” which means stardust has been quite successful in your home county. Why did you decide to write and perform mainly in English?

I love to read, it’s my favorite thing in the world. But it breaks my heart that I’ll never get to read many of them in their original language. And I guess I’d suggest always writing in your mother tongue but it’s so sad that someone else then has to translate. And I feel like it’s the same with my songs. I want as many people as possible to be able to understand my music in the way I write it. English is a more direct and universal language.

What makes a good music video? Your recent song release “Cure For Me” comes with a really fun video. Do you have any impact on the outcome – what is important to you to communicate with your visuals?

I am very inspired by the visual world. And I guess people are more used to understanding visual things and pictures in comparison to sound. We need to work harder to understand just sound. I love to take on the opportunity and create a video for each of my singles and take care of how people perceive my songs. It’s one of my favorite things to do. It’s so fun. I love hiding details and clues in my videos. And my fans are so clever – they always figure out what things mean or guess what my next song will be.

You have uploaded a tutorial for the dance moves in “Cure For Me”. Is dancing something you like to express yourself with?

I love dancing. My favorite thing is going to rave parties and dancing until the next morning. It’s the best thing ever. I think we’re meant to dance and shake our bodies way more than we do. I can’t understand people who can resist dancing. It doesn’t even have to look good, it should just feel liberating.

At TITLE Magazine we focus on being true to yourself and your True Identity. Have you found your True Identity yet? How would you describe it?

Yes, I think I have found my True Identity. I feel very grounded in myself and I feel very grounded on this Earth. I feel very connected to the ground and my place in this world. So my True Identity is a very grounded and calm one. Luckily, it’s been like that for a little while now.

“Cure For Me” basically has the message to not doubt yourself, and love yourself regardless. No one needs a cure for themselves, no matter what other people say. Have you experienced any negativity towards yourself before? How did you deal with it?

I haven’t experienced it much in comparison to others. I was teased in school because I dressed quite strangely and I guess I act differently. I didn’t feel very connected to other people. I struggled with finding a sense of belonging in a group at school or within the system. But now, I’ve really found my place. And my fans helped a lot to show that I can be connected to so many people out there in the world, however, not in my neighborhood in the countryside.

I spent a lot of time in nature, which made me gain energy, but I often disappeared again when I entered a room with other people in it. I didn’t like people so much when I was younger. And this feeling you are not the same as the people around you goes into this feeling that something is wrong with you instead of accepting the differences.

What advice would give others that are being told they are not good enough or doubt themselves?

The little box that has been put out in front of us is so small and the world is telling us that we have to fit in this box – this pattern of behavior, this way of looking, being, loving, or you’re not going to be accepted. It’s a very narrow whole we are supposed to fit into and it simply doesn’t make sense. It’s very soul strangling. And if you worry about fitting in, think of how little your perspective is and how little you actually see, and how little you have left to actually experience life and yourself in this world. So, it really doesn’t matter what the world or our parents or even ourselves think of us. We can be our harshest critics. It can be so difficult to love ourselves but it really shouldn’t matter to fit in this useless box.

Since the kickstart of your career and the successful release of your EP “Running With The Wolves” in 2015, you have been doing some great performances and achieved some amazing things. What is your personal highlight of your career so far?

I am very proud of my community. But I am also scared by it. I don’t like the idea of worshiping one single person so much. It’s not natural. But I feel like I have a different relationship with my fans. It’s based on mutual respect and admiration. They opened my eyes to how beautiful the world is and made me believe in mankind again. It’s the best gift I could ever get in life.

The highlight of my career is realizing how much we can do, or use our voices to speak up against the wrong, and loudly about love. It’s so beautiful and powerful. And change can only be done with many people standing together.

How do you percieve community online? How do you feel about virality and hype on Tik Tok and Instagram?

I guess it’s the same online as well. I think of every person as a single human being sitting at home. The people I want to reach the most are the people that are most isolated and lonely. I am a big fan of the online community and I find it magical that we’re all connected. I don’t care too much about the numbers of streams etc. It doesn’t seem to make anyone, including me, happy. Maybe for like a moment in which I’m joyfully surprised but then it’s over. It’s so short living.

#aurora #aurora aksnes #new album #cure for me #interviews

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cakejots · 3 years

Text

this is us trying, Chapter 1 - The Beginning of an End

In this AU, they don’t know each other outside of the suit. And in this AU, Ladybug and Chat Noir love each other. But in this AU, Chat doesn’t want their identities revealed.

Written for @ladynoirjuly 2021

notes: this is a coherent story based on all the prompts; each chapter contains at least 3 prompts

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10

Read on AO3

1. Older

“Well, Chaton?”

Chat stared at Ladybug as though she had grown an extra head.

“My lady, are you sure you want to know?”

“Oh come on Chat, there are at least tens of thousands of people who are of the same age. There’s no way you can figure out who I am just from that.” She leaned forward, chin on her palms and eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“Hmm, that is true.” His fingers under his chin, eyes searching the sky. “I'm turning 21 this year.”

Ladybug looked dazed for a moment before smugness took over. “So I was right about your age! Well, the age range at least.”

“Oh? And how did my lady manage to guess it?”

Ladybug slowly ran her eyes down his body before peering right back into his eyes, and she smiled innocently.

Chat barked out a laugh.

“Now guess mine!”

“Don’t need to. I know you’re in the same age range as meow.”

She raised an eyebrow and his lips curled slyly. “The same way you managed to guess my age. Do you really want me to say it? Or in this case, show it to you?”

Ladybug couldn’t help but blush. “Okay, okay. You’re not wrong, I’m turning 21 this year too.”

Chat’s child-like demeanour came back, eyes lighting up. “Okay, but now I have to know who’s actually older! Mine’s in September.”

“I'm Leo, so the range is from July to August,” she grinned.

Chat regarded her with a mixture of awe and shock. “No way… You’re actually older than me!”

“Why is this a shock to you? I am more mature than you are,” Ladybug giggled.

“I mean, yeah, but for that fact to get thrust into my face, it just feels—”

“Surreal. I get it,” she sighed blissfully.

They fell into a peaceful silence as this new realisation settled within their hearts and minds. They were finding the most minute of things to share without giving away their identities, and just this tiny, basic fact about each other was overwhelming enough.

This, was something they could experience soon enough, to be normal again and enjoy the process of courting. This, was something they could slowly discover about each other soon enough, to fall in love harder, and to fall in love all over again.

“We are so close. So so close.” Chat gazed into her eyes, took her hand in his and squeezed, much like how his heart was feeling as it was overcome with emotions.

“We are finally nearing the end of all of this.” Ladybug pulled him into a tight hug.

2. Masks

It was over.

It was finally over.

It was a joyous day for Parisians as the supervillain who had been terrorising their city over the past few years had finally been caught and sent to prison.

It was a joyous day indeed.

But why was the atmosphere surrounding him so burdensome, just like the downpour that struck ever since he had entered the Agreste mansion?

The thunderstorm that raged above him, the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculouses that sat in his palm, and the face of the supervillain who was actually his father, glaring at him from a distance away with absolute despise and fury, they all seemed to be mocking him for his ill-fortune.

Of course there was no happy ending for him, even after the final battle. How could he have been so naive to believe that there was a positive outcome for him? He was the epitome of bad luck. From being chosen to be the Black Cat Miraculous holder, right down to his fate that had decided his course for him ever since he was brought into this world.

He was all alone now. His mother’s passing during his early teenage years had left an open wound in his heart. He saw the funeral happened. He cried as the ceremony went on for days on end. He was there to witness the burial of his mother. Those were definitive proof that his mother had passed. He has been mourning for his mother every year on her death anniversary.

So imagine his shock when he saw her in the basement he didn’t know existed, still as radiant and beautiful as he remembered. And to be slapped with the knowledge that his father had a hand in all of this.

He had a hand in withholding the truth about his mother’s whereabouts all this time. The truth that he had rights to. That she was well and alive but in deep deep slumber, one that she might never awake from. He had a hand in causing him so much pain, so much trauma. To be the perfect child he is to be, else he was no son of Gabriel. The direct role his father played in causing him to feel neglected, unloved, and worthless. Just so that he could play the supervillain and recruit innocent Parisians in his quest to obtain the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses.

He caused Parisians so much pain, stripping them of their right to feel what they feel. A minor slipped up from being unable to control their emotions and they became the villains for the day. He had used them for his selfish desires, to do his dirty work for him. All this for not being able to move on from the death of his wife. Not being able to accept the natural cycle of life.

And all of this had happened under his nose, but he didn’t even know. He has been living with the supervillain all his life. He has interacted with the supervillain almost daily. He has shown care and concern for the supervillain. He has forgiven the supervillain for his actions, always telling himself that he had his reasons for acting the way he did. He was a superhero and he didn’t even know.

If he had known, maybe he'd be able to convince his father to stop whatever he was doing. Maybe even prevent the current outcome of events, and even save his father from serving jail time. Some superhero he is.

He didn't know what would become of his mother, but he had long accepted that she had passed. And now, his father will leave his side, to pay for what he did.

Chat was truly alone now.

“Chaton?”

He blinked and looked over to his left. His lady was standing right beside him with concerned eyes, her hands on his left arm. The rain had lightened up considerably and he could see her as clear as day. He didn’t register her touch until he had seen it himself.

Chat wordlessly turned towards her and extended his right hand, the hand that held the two missing Miraculouses. He was expecting her to take them from him and called it a day with their habitual fist bump, but she closed his right hand and held both his hands in hers tightly and peered into his eyes.

“Chaton, are you alright?”

Ladybug cursed herself for asking the obvious. Clearly, he wasn’t feeling his usual self. The cheeky and confident demeanour he always had after the end of a battle was gone. His ears, tail, and posture seemed so deflated and depressed that he just looked like a kitten kicked hard.

She touched his face.

Chat grabbed her hand on his face and wanted to smack himself. His lady was right beside him all this time as he was drowning himself in self-loathing and self-pity. He couldn't let his gloominess take hold of her on this glorious day.

“I’m fine,” Chat showcased the brightest smile he could muster at that moment.

Ladybug worried her lips, not buying it for a single second.

“Chaton…”

He knew she wasn’t going to buy his act with the way she was watching him. Chat really didn’t know what he should do. His hand squeezed hers, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Can we go for a run, just for a while? I promised we’ll talk when we meet up again at the Eiffel Tower.”

When Ladybug didn’t respond, he opened his eyes to beg. “Please?”

Ladybug squeezed his hand before nodding and letting go, giving him a head start. Chat caught her hands before they fell completely by her side, and placed the Miraculouses within her palms. He made sure she put them away securely before jumping away. She followed him soon after, giving him the time and space he needed.

When Ladybug arrived at the Eiffel Tower, Chat seemed really nervous. She really didn’t know what made him like this, but he shouldn’t be that restless. Not of the revelations he made during the final battle and his rooftop run, and he definitely should not be uneasy about her arriving.

She extended her arms towards him. “Minou, can I hug you?”

Chat rushed to her and embraced her tightly. Her hands drew soothing circles on his back to release tension from his body, and he relaxed ever so slightly into hers.

“Okay, I’m ready to talk.” He took a deep breath to mentally prepare himself before he continued. “I-I know you’re looking forward to the reveal after the final battle. I am too. We’ve waited years for this moment. But… but can we not do that now?”

Ladybug instantly pulled back and gawked at him. To say that she was shocked was an understatement. She did not expect this at all. Yes, she totally forgot about the reveal because she was so focused on making sure he’s alright, but for him to just drop the bomb on her like that. “But—”

“I know this is a really unfair request from me,” he quickly added. “But I don’t want to deceive you. We can go on dates in our suits! So that you get to know me. All of me. How I act in and out of battle.”

He slowly averted his gaze. “And that the feelings you have for me will still be there even after our dates.”

Ladybug couldn��t believe her ears, Chat is still Chat, no matter the situation. The fact that he didn’t even include her in the proposal he just suggested made it obvious that he wasn’t even convinced himself. They both knew that they weren’t going to act any different. They’ve hung out outside of Akuma attacks, they will be the same in and out of the suit. It just didn’t make sense.

“Chat...” she pleaded.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry. Please don’t leave me,” he sobbed and enveloped her in a bear hug, afraid that she'd run if he didn’t have a tight enough grasp on her.

Wait, what? No, no! Where did he get the idea that she’s going to leave?

“I-I can’t—”

That's absurd.

“Chat, you don’t have to explain.” Her hands continued the back rubs from before, making sure that it soothed him enough till he’s comfortable loosening his grip. She slowly pulled back and cupped his cheeks, a smile on her face. “Words are not needed. I may not understand the reasons behind your decisions now, but I trust that your heart is in the right place.”

That subtle shine in his eyes did not go unnoticed by Ladybug. “Words cannot express how thankful I am, my lady.”

“Well, then better make it up to me with the dates you promised.”

“Of course, my lady.”

Judging the look on his face, she slowly added, “Do you need more time to sort things out?”

“I don’t know. Can you stay with me a while longer?”

She nodded understandingly and went back to hugging him. Chat tightened his arms around her and breathed in her scent. Her fingers left delicate touches in its trail from his back to his scalp, knowing full well that it's a gesture he’d appreciate. Low rumbles of purring slowly filled the air around them.

They stayed tangled for who knows how long before Ladybug popped the question.

“About the masks, are you sure?”

“Yeah. We don’t drop them,” Chat said with a conviction he knew was never there.

3. Tease

It’s been a week since the defeat of Shadowmoth.

A week since Chat broke down from whatever he had experienced during that short time frame of the final battle.

A week since he had declined the reveal.

Ladybug wasn’t pleased, how could she be? She had waited 6 long years for that, ever since the day they first met and swore to protect Paris from Hawkmoth’s clutches. Well, Shadowmoth now.

It sucked. Even Shadowmoth has had development. Her relationship with Chat? Null.

No. It wasn’t fair to say that. Of course their relationship had developed. From practical strangers to lovers, they trusted each other with their lives, even if they didn’t know who the other was behind that mask. That’s some intense trust they have right there.

But still.

She was really looking forward to the reveal. They were really looking forward to the reveal.

Chat must have had a reason for what he chose that day, strong enough to throw away what he desired most. But what?

Ladybug sighed, she supposed the only thing she could do was to hope that nothing about their relationship had changed. And be there for him when he needs it, like a good girlfriend she is. Are they even a couple? The unnamed boundaries were causing her additional anxiety she didn’t need now. She guessed she’d have to talk it out with Chat and make clear where they stood.

She got broken out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps approaching her.

“Hey...”

Before she even turned around, the tone of his voice sounded so tired, as though coming here was a chore for him. He had shared with her before that meeting her is always the highlight of his day. For it to become a chore… He must be really affected by it.

“My lady?” He stopped behind her.

That wouldn’t do.

She whipped around and flicked his bell, “Hey Chaton, you’re here!”

And as if that wasn’t enough, she had the sweetest smile he has ever seen plastered on her beautiful face. Those rosy cheeks and welcoming lips upturned, and the whites of her teeth slightly visible from her smile, directed at him. So happy to see him. So thrilled for him to be here.

It shot right through his heart. He couldn’t do anything else besides fixate his eyes on her radiant and alluring face.

“Aww, cat got your tongue? Or in this case, a ladybug got your tongue?” She cooed and flicked his bell once more.

She was relieved she still has this effect on him.

“S-she definitely did.” A pink hue dusted his cheeks.

Cute.

Ladybug figured the only thing she could do was to remind him of all the enjoyable memories they had together and banish the sad ones that gripped him from a week ago. The reveal can wait. What's important was to make sure he doesn’t forget why they wanted the reveal in the first place.

She concluded upping her tease factor was the way to go.

“I’ll make sure you know that my feelings for you are real and you won’t be able to resist my charms any longer.”

“My lady,” Chat whined. He was already regretting his decisions from a week before.

Ladybug, on the other hand, was grinning. She’d accept whatever he’s willing to give. She supposed she could get the ball rolling, to begin filling in on fresh empty pages as they experience falling in love all over again. Because deep down, that is what they’ve wanted after all.

#ladynoirjuly2021 #ladynoirjuly #ladynoir #mesfics #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #mlb fanfic #ladybug #chat noir #alternate universe #light angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #this is us trying

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songofsaraneth · 3 years

Text

an incomplete list of the Bullshit ive gone through this year (2021 only), for personal edification:

I am in grad school trying to do research as well as TA a lab class during a global pandemic

My car is broken into in late February outside of my apartment. $1700+ of my backpacking/camping gear and personal items were stolen from it. Ironically they did not find the $20 cash I had.

Car battery begins mysterious dying if left overnight and have to call for rescue from AAA 4 separate times over the course of March. I suspect it is related to being broken into but can’t prove it without a mechanic’s diagnostics.

First mechanic I bring my car to does nothing for the entire MONTH they have it, except break my air conditioning of all things. I live in a desert. It is now 90º every day. At one point they call me to say they can’t get the back doors to open. I walk 2 miles back to them from campus and demonstrate how the automatic doors work on a 2005 minivan. I begin to have regrets about my mechanic choice but the sunk fallacy cost keeps me there for several weeks.

Mid march I also wake up one day to severe jaw pain/a weird “loose” feeling, like my mouth is slanting sideways. It is midterms and I do not have time for this, so I take a lot of ibuprofen and eat soup for a week. After 3 days I shove pillows and blankets around my face one night to keep my jaw aligned and when I wake up the next morning it is severely tight instead of loose, and I have to carefully stretch it open whenever I leave my mouth closed for more than an hour. I guess I just have TMJ now.

At this point I am walking everywhere until bike supplies arrive to fix my flat tire since the bike store is too far away to walk to; including walking back and forth to campus since I can only bring 2-4 out of 8 students into the lab spaces at a time and so effectively have to run each weekly lab 2-4 times per week; as well as going back and forth for greenhouse experiment monitoring/helping undergrads on our NASA contest project

Early April I go to the dentist for a crown on one of my back molars, which I must pay for out of pocket because my new dental insurance purchased when I moved last September has a 1-year waiting period and so will not cover it ($1200). Stretching my jaw open so far for the procedure reignites my new TMJ back to high pain levels.

While still waiting on car in mid-April I have a severe averse reaction to the second dose of the Covid19 vaccine, resulting in painful ulceration of all the soft tissues in my body (mouth, stomach, genitals). It is a very bad time for 3 days and I book an urgent care appointment for the first time ever.

Urgent Care nurse-practitioner does not believe me when I describe what’s happening, and misdiagnoses me with herpes.

I am still biking everywhere but now I’m extra mad and in pain about it so take car back from mechanic so I can get groceries etc. I make an appointment with the dealership but it will be a week until they can take it. In the meanwhile I have to drive it every 8 hours so it won’t die which means getting up at 2am to drive it for 20 minutes in the middle of the night so it will still turn on in the morning.

I have a terrible reaction to the numbing cream given to me for the painful open sores over my body, because of a lifelong mint sensitivity, resulting in an even greater amount of pain

The dealership can fix my car over the following week but its $1800 and now insurance isn’t sure they want to cover it after all

Herpes test comes back negative and nurse apologizes profusely and recommends a non-mint OTC numbing cream alternative that works (yay) and a numbing spray that does not work because it turned out to use an alcohol based propellant which should not be combined with open wounds esp on the genitals (ouch ouch ouch). I try to tell the nurse why I was right about my diagnosis and she was wrong but she still believes it was a latent virus of some other variety and and not an immune response alone, despite the published case studies I have brought to back me up. I decide I have bigger hills I need to die on right now and stop arguing. Sores persist into May but eventually do go down and numbing cream keeps me moderately functioning.

Car is fixed and I can drive again but it takes 2 hours of crying on the phone to my insurance company for them to agree to cover the cost of repair

I make a primary care appointment for the first time in years so I can have a doctor in this state if something like this happens to me again, in June I do intake/bloodwork/set up appointments to check out some other issues ive been having

Grad school finals happen which i wont get into but Yeah. Finals stress triggers another outbreak of canker sores, but mostly clustered in my mouth and only 2 on my vulva rather than 8-12. I eat only soup for another week.

I get a referral to the local mental health clinic and call about setting up an appointment for an ADHD evaluation. They tell me to download and send in some paperwork and they will call when they have available appointments

I am supposed to be doing all my labwork over the summer but the committee member I need escapes my clutches and we don’t manage to set up a meeting to plan it out/for him to explain the protocols until late June

Bloodwork shows I am critically low in vitamin b12 and low in D, which may explain some of why I am so tired all the time

Ultrasound shows a 1.8cm mass in the adnexa near my left ovary. There are several options for what it can be (folicular cyst, other kind of cyst, tumor, ectopic pregnancy i nearly laugh at my Dr and reassure her the last one is not possible if nothing else). It may go away on its own or it may not. Follow up scan in 2 months

I remember I was supposed to email forms to the mental health clinic and finally send those in mid July. It seems cruel to make me be the one to remember this considering I am calling about a formal ADHD diagnosis.

I also finally pin everyone relating to my labwork down and have a follow up meeting + make a list of what we need to order, but the staff who place orders are on vacation and when they get back several reagents are backordered

I have my follow-up ultrasound. The tech takes lots of photos which indicates the mass is still present, but I won’t know any details until my next PCP appointment when they send over the analysis to her in mid-August

Beginning of August the reagents I need for the first steps of the process arrive exactly 1 day before I leave town for a wedding and the lab manager is about to leave town for the entire next week

After the wedding, severe thunderstorms and tornados trap me in Chicago for 4 extra days. I spend a lot of time at the airport or on my way between the airport and my parents house. A facebook friend gets video of the funnel clouds which at least gives me something to sadly email my advisor and committee members when I have to join our planning meeting from my gate at O’Hare

I lose my drivers license at the security checkpoint on my last trip through the airport and don’t realize until I am boarding the plane because of course that is happening to me now

On the shuttle from El Paso back to Las Cruces after this ordeal the driver stops and picks up a box labeled HUMAN BLOOD and puts it in the trunk and i am too tired to care anymore

I stay up all night making the world’s most pitiful r graphs for my meeting the next morning and everyone takes pity on me and does not call out how useless they are

I spend the weekend trying to motivate myself to actually go into the lab and start my procedures, and fail to leave my apartment. This reminds me it has now been a month (Aug 15th) since I sent in my paperwork and the mental health clinic has still not called me back about up an appointment

I get overwhelmed with Everything and make this list

So that’s where I’m at at the moment. And this doesn’t even include anything from 2020 thats just been continuous like, y’know, a global pandemic and having a bad breakup of a 4 year relationship and moving to a new city where I know no one for grad school etc. I feel like I’m falling apart/unable to do all the shit I need to right now but you know what? Actually its been a really bad time and maybe falling apart a little is justified ;_;

#ramblings #wharglbargle #like Damn its been a Time and i need to cry about it i guess #negativity //

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romanceboys · 4 years

Text

(interview) w korea september issue 2020 — reptile

1. i was surprised to learn that this is your 13th year since debut. within a company, the years almost reflect the experience of a vice department head. that’s right. though there are things i’m seeing for the first time at this point, i think there’s a lot that has remained the same. shall i tell you something funny? early in the year, i transformed into my debut appearance from when i was 16 with a bowl haircut and had my picture taken. i put it up on instagram and as i watched my fans briefly mistake it for an old picture, i thought to myself ‘well at least my face hasn’t aged much yet.’ haha. 2. today, i get to meet one of the personalities i’ve been very curious about personally. how should i put it, you seem like a person who possesses a perfect narrative. oh my, thank you. 3. maturing steadily after debuting with shinee in middle school, you broke away from your image as the group’s youngest and instead donned the clothes of a solo musician. all 5 of your solo albums have been recorded as hits. now you are a member of superm that has gone global. even a narrative within a coming-of-age novel could not be as sturdy as this. when i look back on my life, i find it quite fascinating. i entered the company at the age of 13, and this year i turned 28. i’ve lived half of my life as a singer, i realise this when i think ‘i’ve run along the same path for a long time’. i think... i’ve been very greedy. it was through this greed that i was able to debut in a team called shinee, and consequently receive solo plans. once, producer lee sooman told me to bring him a recording of any pop song. wondering ‘what’s going on?’ i prepared for it and submitted, and soon after my solo album was released. thinking back, it must’ve been a test. i felt a sense of accomplishment in these things. that too very deeply, of course luck was on my side too. 4. a methodical company like sm couldn’t have proposed a solo career so lightly. there were a couple of tell-tale signs as far as i could tell. my singing parts were little during debut. after all taemin had the image of the one in charge of dancing. then my parts started to increase gradually, this could’ve been one of the signs. back in the day i used to stay back in the practice room till dawn. the employees working late would see me and the word probably went around. they must have felt sorry for me. a skinny boy practising by himself till dawn (laughs). 5. were you the type to stay back later than the rest in the practice room? i would go to the practice room as soon as we wrapped up our schedule. i’d practice till sunrise then return to the dorm and prepare for the next schedule immediately, i spent a long time doing this. 6. it was at the time of ‘sherlock’ in 2012 that your stage presence started to shine in shinee’s stages. thereafter, it seemed that you enjoyed your time on stage thoroughly. when did you begin to realise that only you were in command of your own stage? there were a couple of times... sherlock was one of them. sherlock was an album that came out when i was 20, right after becoming an adult, it was then my attitude towards performance changed. in those days i challenged myself to ‘not to do what was expected/fixed.’ usually our gestures at certain sections of the song are fixed beforehand, from sherlock onwards however i tried my hand at different things without reserve. it was my way of approaching the audience with sincerity, and my way of improving in the future. back then i would notice variations (in my performance) everyday when i monitored myself. 7. frankly, isn’t it difficult for someone to have made such a prominent leap? i think it might have been because of the long hiatus before sherlock. i was able to prepare well so my growth was likely more obvious when i stood on stage after a long time. how should i put it, my members were very stimulating for me. since the hyungs aren’t ordinary people (laughs). this is something i’m confident about, even if you say that most of the shinee members are main vocalists, none of us is inferior to the other, everyone is so talented. with these thoughts verbatim ‘i must survive in here,’ ‘i need to finish what i started,’ i practiced. i couldn’t not have made the leap with such stimulation and not to mention my greedy nature (laughs). spending time together with the members made me realise that we started to resemble each other in some aspects, thanks to them i was able to broaden my perspective and become aware of my undiscovered talents. 8. the prologue single ‘2 kids’ of your third album ‘never gonna dance again’ released in august. as i was listening to the song, i suddenly became curious about the lyricist and looked them up. my impression was that the language of the lyrics was raw and honest. the lyricist turned out to be you. my intention was to include everyday, colloquial speech. i’ve written poetic and abstract lyrics before, but while working on ‘2 kids’ i wanted the listeners to easily grasp the emotions at once. since i’ve released many songs like ‘danger’ with vivid concepts and sensual performances, i expected there to be some distance between me and the public. i found that i shouldn’t stray too far. in any case, i’m a pop singer. i thought to myself let’s meet the public halfway, and the result was the lyrics for ‘2 kids.’ it’s the brightest of all my title tracks (laughs). 9. i find two interesting points here. first, you are completely aware of your identity as a pop singer, second, to do that you work hard to keep close to the public. of course there are times when it doesn’t work out (laughs). for instance, when we’re deciding on the title track for a shinee album, my opinions always diverge from the members’. after listening to our fourth album title track ‘view,’ i said ‘no way, it can never be this!’ (laughs). what i’m after is, how shall i put it... there is a side to me that wants to experience things profoundly. for example, if i were to express love, instead of depicting it one-dimensionally, i’d prefer to do it maniacally. i like taking it one step further to appear twisted. 10. that’s amusing. it’s probably because i’ve seen your easy-going appearance on tv a lot, i would have never guessed for you to approach things ‘deeply’. profound people tend to be like that. ‘multi’ people are able to do several things at once, i can’t do that. i have to dig into things deeply at a time. that’s why when my members and i receive the same schedule notice, i’m the only one who always forgets it (laughs). 11. oho, this makes me curious about your taste in pop culture. i really like the british drama <black mirror>. i get hooked on the unusual. like mind-boggling things? i used to watch movies that weren’t popular because such movies are less likely to repeat contents that have already been consumed. but then i slowly began to enjoy light films as well. these days i leave a movie running in the background while i do other things. back when i would look for an independent film or thriller of my liking, i’d get extremely exhausted after watching it. they require so much focus that they sap my energy. 12. we were talking about lyrics but somehow ended up here (laughs). if you were given the opportunity to write lyrics again, what kind of story do you want the lyrics to convey? i like philosophical lyrics. for instance, a song called ‘soldier’ from my solo album deals with religious content, it varies from time to time of course but well if i were to write again... i think about this a lot these days. i want to change myself, i want to shake off my image uptil now and be reborn again. 13. why is that? i want a colour that is more concentrated and unique. as if i'm debuting again, i want to show something completely new that i had not before. 14. but aren’t your comebacks always novel? a musician like you who does diverse and experimental concepts is rare. is that so? sure the concepts are always new but... these days i think about how i want to change myself as a person from the very inside. instead of putting a facade on display, i have a thirst for wanting to show a more humane, genuine appearance. all humans experience moments of weakness and dysfunction. i think these moments definitely hold some beauty in them. the moment a person breaks down. it’s the only way one can get up and overcome difficulties again, i believe showing these sides of me, all of me, unabashedly is a path i need to walk as an artist now. 15. honestly, i’m excited for your third album because i heard this album reflects your ideas the most. what aspects of the production were different this time? firstly, i personally cast and liaised with the music video director. i thought it was important to work with the director one-on-one by keeping mediators to a minimum. through several meetings we mulled over every single thing like concept, outfit, hair and makeup. i offered my opinions too: ‘because i’m thinking of leaving a connecting link in the prologue, since there are two albums that would release following ‘2 kids,’ i want to drop certain keywords in the music video.’ fans usually call this a ‘bait’ (laughs). 16. the choreography stood out the most in the ‘2 kids’ music video. you weren’t simply moving to the rhythm, rather weren’t you moving your body guided by emotions? actually there were barely any plans to include dancing scenes. but i thought you never know so i quickly prepared a choreography the day before i left for paris. initially, i had a ‘dramatised’ (borrowing elements from drama) choreography in mind, but the director was expecting something modern. in the end, we expressed it well with a choreography that the director and i came up with after finding the perfect common ground. 17. personally i think a dramatised choreography would have been quite alright because ‘2 kids’ is a universal love song. i told the director i wanted to look miserable and pathetic through and through, like falling into a bottomless pit, wrecked, to be found waking up in the middle of the street, that would do too. why did i want to be that wrecked? i don’t know. there’s just a lot that exists within me. and i might have wanted to express that.... 18. with your first solo mini album <ace> you proved your grit as a solo musician to the public, and i believe your second album <move> reified your colour. i think taemin is a musician who doesn’t need to prove himself anymore. having reached this status, you’re releasing your next album <never gonna dance again>. did you ever think that this album could be it? rather, i hope that this album can be my ‘turning point.’ just as how it was during sherlock, i hope this time it changes my identity completely, as an individual and as a performer. people might like this album or find it mediocre, but i try not to care about these things now. 19. were you the type to stress over feedback? yes. because there are many people who are uncomfortable with change. but then i realised we’d never be able to free ourselves from within if we continued to be tied down. so now i’m trying to notice these things less. 20. have you ever had this thought? that looking back, the experimental has always revolved around you. as i said before, i think there is a lot of something within me (laughs). people have recognized that, there’s a lot i want to do. there is a greed for wanting to be different from others. it’s not that i want to ‘appear’ different but truly be different. 21. do you think there is an aspect of you that others can’t follow? i can’t seem to figure it out. i’m looking for it. however, my satisfaction level with myself tends to be low. and it’s something that has been guiding me till now. 22. what helps you recharge the most? i like lower-body bathing so much (laughs). as soon as i get into the bath, i automatically end up going ‘euu’ ‘aah.’ i soak my body completely, light up a scented candle, then let my body warm up like this. 23. while watching your vlog-like youtube content taem-log, i wondered ‘does he have an affinity for household goods?’ since the camera often captured your surroundings, i noticed pretty glasses and a colourful coffee machine adorning your cupboard. not at all. my mother did all of that (laughs). she’d say ‘this would suit taemin~’ then set it up prettily for display on the shelves. sometimes i do think i’d like to furnish my house with antiques if i were to move in the future. this is a bit funny but i find the houses in old horror movies so pretty. 24. i saw a bottle of moët & chandon in your refrigerator, is champagne your regular choice of alcohol? i rarely drink. i usually receive gifted alcohol quite a lot, it all goes to my father (laughs). my mother brought the moët & chandon and left it in there. i asked her to leave a pretty bottle in there at least for decoration purposes, so she probably brought it just for that? (laughs). 25. what kind of a person is 28-year-old taemin? i sort of want to set things ablaze. i want to put up a spectacular finale of the opening act. 26. how do you want to be remembered as a musician? as a great person. i say this knowing it sounds a bit grandiose but it’s my mission. 27. i can see it. the bigger you become the larger the impact you can have on society. i will become that person. so that many people can hear the message i want to convey.

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

#shinee #taemin #p:taemin #w korea magazine september issue 2020 #interview #translations #e:never gonna dance again #enjoy!

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hufflepuffhermione · 3 years

Note

from the drabble list 23 “I immediately regret this decision.” if you feel like it!!

This got LONG. I know that’s what happens with everything I ever write, but this got long even for me. But I hope you enjoy it. It’s set in the summer between S3 and S4.

The Oval Office is a dangerous place. Life or death decisions are made in the room every day, and a briefly floated idea can quickly become policy before all of the words are even out. One the President has an idea set in his head, it’s difficult to talk him out of it.

Unfortunately for everyone, Toby and Josh fail to recognize the present dangers.

It’s a staff meeting outlining upcoming campaign events and the changes to the policy calendar; nothing out of the ordinary or particularly monumental, but when there’s something to do with national parks, there is always an element of risk.

“Will someone tell me why I’m going to Montana in a few weeks? If I know my electoral math, and I think I do, they’ve got all of three votes and they usually go to the other guy,” President Bartlet says, looking up from behind his reading glasses.

There’s a look exchanged between the senior staff, but Josh swallows and answers. “Sir, it’s the… the opening of Big Sky National Park.”

The President pauses. “That’s not a national park. I would know, I’ve been to all of them.”

Again, more glances. Josh clears his throat awkwardly and continues. “Yes sir, but this is the one that you signed an order to establish a few years ago. In Montana. They’re finally opening it to the public, and you’re going to be there at the opening with the Secretary of the Interior.”

“Ah, right, I did do that,” Bartlet says, smiling. “You know, I do love national parks.”

“We’re aware, sir,” Toby says dryly.

President Bartlet puts down the schedule he’s been looking at and meets Toby’s iron gaze. “Well Toby, tell me? What’s the best national park you’ve been to?”

Toby mutters something under his breath, and when he’s asked to repeat it, his voice takes on an edge. “I’ve never been to one,” he admits.

Mistake number one.

“You’re telling me you’re about to write a speech for me about the glories of the national park system, and you’ve never even been to one?” the President asks incredulously.

“Well, I was going to make Sam do it,” Toby admits.

“What, is this below your pay grade?”

Toby would be rolling his eyes if he weren’t in the Oval Office. “No, sir, but I figured California boy here has been outside a few more times in his life than I have.”

“Is this true, Sam?”

Sam shrugs. “I guess. My parents weren’t really outdoorsy types, but we went to the Grand Canyon once. So I guess I’m ahead of Toby on that score.”

“And the rest of you? Have you all had the opportunity to experience the wonder that is American national parks?”

Josh and CJ glance at each other warily. Leo volunteers the information of a few he’s had a chance to visit, but when the President’s gaze rests on CJ, she stammers, “I made plans to go to Yosemite when I was in grad school, but I… I don’t think I made it there.”

Before the President can comment on CJ’s admission, Josh chimes in. “Frankly, sir, there aren’t any national parks easily accessible from where I’ve lived, so…”

This is mistake number two.

“Nonsense,” the President exclaims. “Shenandoah is just an hour and a half from here! You’ve lived in DC how long and you still haven’t…” He breaks off, and a dangerous smile spreads across his face. “Josh, do you remember when I suggested we take a staff field trip to Shenandoah?”

“I didn’t think you were serious, sir,” Josh replies, gulping.

“I wasn’t then, but if Toby and Sam are going to be writing a speech for me about the wonders of national parks, on the anniversary of the day which, by the way, the National Park Service was established, you really ought to have some experience visiting national parks,” the President says. “Do you all have anything going on this weekend? Doesn’t matter, I can raise it to the level of an executive order and everyone you have to cancel on will just have to deal with it. We’re going on a field trip.”

The door opens behind them, and it’s Donna standing there. “I’m sorry sir, am I interrupting something?”

“Not at all,” Josh answers with relief.

“I just needed Josh for…”

“Donnatella,” the President interrupts, smiling at her. “How would you like to go on a national park expedition?”

Donna looks at him, wide-eyed. “Well, sir, I do appreciate a good national park. I’m not sure I can say no… can I say no?”

And there’s the third mistake.

“Well, Donna, pack your outdoor things, because you’re going camping this weekend,” the President says gleefully. “I’ll get my guys to arrange all of this.”

“Do you need Josh? He’s needed in a meeting with legislative affairs right now,” Donna says. “They only have twenty minutes before the vote.”

Josh immediately stands up as the President waves him off. “You shouldn’t have come in,” he hisses to Donna, as they walk down the hallway towards his office. “You should have just called. You might have avoided getting roped into this nonsense.

“Well, I immediately regret this decision, but… is he serious?”

“He’s started making plans and everything,” Josh says. “But hey, if I’m forced to go camping, at least you’ll be forced to go too.”

Donna rolls her eyes. “You’re a horrible, horrible man.”

“Yeah, but I sign your paychecks.”

“I had plans!” she whines.

Josh laughs as he turns towards his office to pick up a file. “Haven’t you learned never to make weekend plans? And never to indulge the President when he’s in one of these moods?”

“Believe me, I’m regretting all of this.”

—

“As it turns out,” the President says on a Friday morning staff meeting, “I can’t go to Shenandoah. That would require the Secret Service to shut down the whole park, and even then, there’s nothing they can do about the bears.”

An audible sigh of relief falls across the staff, but it doesn’t last long when he continues, “I’ve arranged transportation and reserved a couple of cabins for you all. You’re leaving at 6am sharp tomorrow morning, and they’ll have you back by Sunday night.”

“Sir… is this… serious?” Sam hazards.

“Serious as the deficit,” the President replies with a grin. “You’re going to experience a real national park.”

“And if we just… happened to be sick tomorrow?” Josh asks.

President Bartlet shakes his head and laughs. “I wouldn’t believe you, since you’ve never taken a sick day you weren’t forced to take. I’d send my guys over to your apartment and have them throw you in the van. Face it, Josh, you’re going to see the great outdoors.”

Toby rests his head in his hands. “Please someone just kill me now.”

“Come on, Toby, you’ll love it!”

“Sir, I’m pretty sure I have to brief this weekend, so I think…” CJ begins to argue.

“You have highly competent deputies, let them handle it,” the President deflects. “6am sharp. Be here, or the Secret Service will be making visits to your places. And they do know where you live.”

—

After a two-hour drive which everyone spent asleep, they are unceremoniously deposited at a campsite with a fire pit and two cabins which might generously be described as ‘rustic’. The August heat that has settled over DC is only marginally lessened by elevation.

“Well this is… something,” Sam remarks, taking a peek inside one of the spartan cabins, which contains nothing but wooden bunks and an ancient-looking table.

“There aren’t any bathrooms,” Toby comments with barely restrained fury. “What are we supposed to do, go in the woods?”

Donna shrugs, wondering, once again, how she got roped into this. “That’s how we usually do it when I went camping as a kid. Sometimes they had a bathroom at the site, but it doesn’t look like they do at this one.”

“You’ve been camping?” Josh asks incredulously.

“Yeah. We’d go camping in the Wisconsin Dells most years, and once in a while we’d go to Minnesota or the UP,” Donna replies offhandedly.

“The UP?” Toby asks.

“Upper Peninsula of Michigan,” Sam corrects, always glad to make a geographic contribution.

Josh picks up a large plastic tub that was left with them, filled with camping food, and begins to walk toward one of the cabins. “Well, at least Donna knows what we’re doing.”

“Didn’t you claim to be an outdoorsman?” CJ asks, quirking an eyebrow. “I’d like to see you prove it.”

He drops the tub and rubs his eye. “I mean… I was on some drugs then, so I’m not sure I can be held liable…”

“You were not on any drugs, Josh, or else I wouldn’t have let you have alcohol,” Donna corrects.

“I was on the drug that was being outside after three months of miserable confinement!”

Donna and CJ share a glance. “Well, I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to demonstrate your outdoorsy prowess. You can lead our hike.”

“Hey, no one said anything about hiking!” Josh completely ignores the tub and stalks over to where CJ and Donna are standing with the rest of the supplies, almost tripping over a branch as he does so.

“It’s in the President’s executive order. He set us an agenda,” Donna declares, waving around a piece of paper that does, in fact, include the presidential seal.

“There’s no way he used an actual executive…”

Josh is cut off by Sam, who snatches the paper out of Donna’s hands with a “Let me see that!” He reads the paper quickly, frowning as he does. “Yeah, he wants us to take three different hikes. There are maps attached to it. Also, he’s set some time aside for Toby and I to… extol the virtues of nature and apply it to our speechwriting?”

“And we wonder why nothing gets done in this country!” Toby throws his hands in the air. “I can extol the virtues of nature perfectly well without having to actually…you know… go out in nature!”

Josh takes a look at the schedule over Sam’s shoulder. “He’s really given us specific times to start each hike?”

“Including one at 5:30 in the morning so we can catch the sunrise over the mountains,” Donna notes.

“Well I’d like to catch a few hours of sleep for once.” CJ rolls her eyes and picks up her duffel bag. “Think we can blow this off?”

Sam presses his lips together. “Um… he’s going to know if we do.”

“Why?”

“Because he left the Secret Service agents here to ‘keep an eye on us’,” Sam says, jerking his head toward the van which they came in, which is parked in a clearing in the woods. “Ostensibly it’s so we don’t die when Josh forgets he’s not actually an outdoorsman, but he’s definitely spying on us.”

Josh rubs his forehead and sighs heavily. “You couldn’t have just lied and said you have a great appreciation for national parks, Toby?”

“If I said I’d been to one, he would have interrogated me about it!” Toby shouts. “I was cornered!”

“You were the one who came up with the idea to establish this new national park,” CJ says, nudging Josh’s side, “so I hold you responsible.”

“God help me for winning a political battle and doing some good for the country at the same time,” Josh replies, rolling his eyes. “That was almost three years ago! Why should I have known it would backfire like this?”

Donna sighs heavily and picks up her bag. “I’m seriously regretting coming out here with any of you.”

“If you had just called the Oval instead of coming in…”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says. “CJ, what do you say to the cabin on the right? I looked inside and I think there are fewer bugs in that one.”

“Please,” CJ says. “I’m grateful I have at least one other member of the Sisterhood here.”

Sam and Josh give each other a look. “I guess we’d better move into the bug-infested cabin,” Sam remarks.

“They’re both bug-infested, but the one on the right is just… less bug-infested,” Donna shouts back, as she heads into the small cabin.

“Well, Mr. Outdoorsman,” Sam says to Josh, “what now?”

Josh rubs the bridge of his nose. “If I wasn’t on drugs, I was under the influence of alcohol—which I hadn’t had in three months—so you know, I can’t be held liable for what I said then.”

Sam quirks an eyebrow as he picks up his duffel bag. “You do have a law degree, don’t you?”

“Don’t remind me.”

—

It’s another hour before all of the stuff in moved into cabins and everyone is seated on logs around the unlit fire pit, unsure of what to do next. It’s Donna, naturally, who has a handle on the schedule.

“Now, the President has recommended we do a short hike before the heat of the day really kicks in, and that one takes off from that trailhead over there.” She points toward a small clearing in the woods with a ragged wood sign marking the head. “It leads to a lake, so he suggests taking a dip to cool off before heading back, so maybe put something to swim in here in your daypack.”

Josh furrows his brow. “Wait, wait, wait. We’re not really doing this, are we? Following this ridiculous schedule, doing all these…”

“Just because you can’t follow a schedule doesn’t mean we shouldn’t,” Donna replies. “And do you really want to defy the President of the United States?”

“Well, if he’s making us go hiking… and swimming,” Toby growls. “I told him, I have a healthy appreciation for the outdoors, but I prefer to be far, far away from them.”

Donna stands up. “Well I, for one, am not going to defy the President, and I think when he asks you very specific details about the hikes, you might want to have some answers for him. Come on, the sooner we get started the less heat we’ll have to deal with.”

“Because this isn’t bad enough?” CJ asks, wiping her brow. The humidity is already oppressive even at nine in the morning.

“Come on California girl,” Toby teases, “aren’t you used to this?”

In unison, Sam and CJ respond with, “It’s a dry heat!”

Josh pulls several files out of his backpack, carries them back to the cabin, and sighs. “It’s going to be a long day.”

—

Donna isn’t sure who does the most complaining in the mile and a half hike. Josh probably complains the most audibly, but there’s something to be said for Toby’s constant glares at everything that constitutes nature and Sam’s intentional, hefty sighs at every single step. CJ is quiet about her discontent, but she doesn’t seem particularly happy either.

Perhaps they really did need an opportunity to learn how to appreciate nature.

The hike isn’t all too steep, although you wouldn’t know that from the way Josh and Toby are panting when they finally reach the swimming hole the President indicated in his instructions.

“Here it is,” Donna says with a smile. The water is set up against a cliff edge, and there are thin streams falling over the edge. It’s really an idyllic place, but none of the staffers seem particularly enthralled.

Still, they’re all hot and sweaty, and so Sam pulls off his shirt and wades into the water, and CJ follows. Toby grumbles, but the prospect of cooling off is too great for him to resist.

Donna is about to take a dip when she notices Josh’s hesitation to go in. He sits at the edge, dipping his toes in, but not looking as if he will go any further.

“Don’t want to swim?”

He shrugs. “Someone has to watch our stuff. You know, because of the bears. Or the tourists. They’re probably Republican tourists, in this part of Virginia.”

She looks at him critically. “Josh… Do you know how to swim?”

“I grew up in Connecticut, of course I know how to swim!” he snaps. “I just don’t want to!” There’s sweat beading on his forehead. There’s no way he doesn’t want to swim.

Donna frowns and takes a seat next to him, dipping her toes in as well. “Why not?”

Josh looks straight ahead at his own soaking feet. “I don’t have another shirt in my pack,” he says quietly.

“Well then, take it…” she begins, and then she sees something in his eyes. He’s still self-conscious about his bare chest. She grabs his hand and smiles at him. “It’s fine. I’ve seen it before.”

Josh shakes his head. “They haven’t.”

“They’re not going to care,” Donna assures him. “They were all there. They don’t need an explanation.” She briefly wonders if he ever had to explain it to Amy.

“Yeah,” he says, his face still grim.

She tugs on his sleeve gently. “Anyway, you’re going to be neck-deep in there anyway, so if you dive in fast, no one will even see anything.”

“I guess,” Josh says.

“I’m not going to go in if you don’t, and I really want to go in, so I’ll be rather upset with you if you don’t go in,” Donna threatens.

He lifts an eyebrow. “So this is on me now?”

“It’s your call,” she challenges.

In one smooth motion, he tears off his shirt and pulls Donna up into his arms, holding her against his chest and taking a few steps into the water. She shrieks as he drops her in a deeper part of the swimming hole. “That good enough for you?” he asks with a grin.

“You shouldn’t be doing that,” she chides, although there’s a smile on her face too. “You’re a cruel man.”

He splashes her with quite a bit of force. “You asked for it. I’m just trying to be an outdoorsman.”

Sam practically has to be dragged out of the water, but as the sun nears its high point, everyone agrees that they sooner they get back to the camp, the better. They manage to make it back faster, thanks to the downhill slope and Toby’s urgency to get back to something even slightly resembling civilization.

“What’s on the schedule now?” CJ asks through a bite of the pre-packed sandwiches that the President sent with them. A good thing, too, since none of them are fantastic cooks even in normal circumstances, and certainly none of them know how to cook over a fire.

Donna pulls the piece of paper out of her daypack and skims it. “Well, there’s a couple choices until our second hike at 6. Either working on the speech, or as he puts it, taking a Thoreau-like approach to extolling the virtues of nature…”

“He’s really going to put me through all of this and then tell me to emulate Thoreau?” Toby interrupts indignantly. “That pretentious mother—“

Josh raises an eyebrow and cuts Toby off with a, “So how about those of us who are under any circumstances not allowed to touch the President’s speeches?”

“We ask for your input when we need it, Josh, it’s just… you’re not the most eloquent of writers,” Sam tries to say diplomatically. Toby, still fuming, nods in agreement.

Josh rolls his eyes. “I like to be direct. Sue me.”

“See, that kind of attitude in speechwriting is what gets the President sued,” Toby shoots back.

Donna clears her throat, giving a barely concealed glare to the staffers before her. “Anyway, Josh, in answer to your question, he suggested you could take a nap.”

His brow furrowed, Josh lets out a little snort. “A nap? What is this, kindergarten?”

“Sometimes I think so.” This from CJ, who hasn’t managed to get her head out of her hands in several minutes.

“I remember a time when you were extolling the virtues of naps to me,” Donna says sweetly, folding up the schedule and putting it back in her bag.

Josh sighs and leans back into the log he’s sitting against dramatically. “Can everyone please stop using the things I said while I was on many, many drugs that made me kind of loopy against me?”

“Never, mi amor,” CJ says, standing up and patting his shoulder. “I’m going to take advantage of the once chance I’ll ever get in this administration to take a nap. Any interest in joining me, Tobias?” she asks with a smirk.

Toby raises an eyebrow. “No, because I have to emulate a pretentious dick who thought he knew everything about nature because he was living in the backyard of his in-laws.”

“I quite enjoy Thoreau, actually,” Sam begins to interrupt.

“Of course you do,” Toby says with a sigh, pulling out a legal pad and a pen. “Come on, let’s get to writing this. Anybody know anything about national parks?”

“No,” Josh says. “I think that’s why we’re here.”

—

The afternoon passes rather pleasantly to everyone’s surprise. CJ takes her nap, Josh reads through all of the briefing memos he managed to smuggle in, and Toby and Sam bicker over the speech, but there are several pages filled by the time Donna comes out of the cabin, fresh from her own nap, and calls out that it’s almost time for their next hike.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Josh says. “One isn’t enough?”

“There are three, remember. The next one is very early tomorrow morning so we can catch the sunrise. This one is so we can catch the sunset,” Donna replies, thrusting the schedule at him.

Josh shakes his head as he looks it over. “I’m kind of regretting getting this man elected.”

Still, everyone, even Toby manages to traipse through the woods and up get another mountain to get to a west-facing lookout, where the sun is just starting to dip behind the mountains.

“Is this inspiring you?” CJ teases, stretched out on one of the benches at the lookout. The sky really is turning very pretty, the sunset a fiery orange with hints of pink.

Toby shrugs. “I don’t think the colors of a sunset are relevant to this speech, but sure.”

“I have to say, I think the Midwest does sunsets better. All that open sky…” Donna says. She’s seating on the other bench, and Josh is next to her, his arm stretched around the back of the bench and his fingers just barely grazing the top of her shoulder. The distance between them is acceptable, but only just.

“Do you miss it? Wisconsin?”

Donna bites her lip. “Sometimes? Sometimes I’ll think about a walk I used to take, or about the ice cream shop I would always go to with my friends, or about the view from my dorm when I lived on the top floor, and I feel a little bit of homesickness. But then I think about how amazing it is to live here, and how much I’ve accomplished since I left, and well… I can’t say I regret leaving.”

Josh chuckles. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Donna turns back to look at the sunset and hopes that no one notices that her eyes are beginning to water with what could be tears.

—

“Okay, dinner now? I”m starving.” Sam says, when they come back from their sunset expedition to the camp. Darkness is beginning to settle, so they’ve set up a few lanterns, but it still feels incomplete.

“We have hot dogs for roasting,” Donna says. “You know, good camp food.”

“That means we need a fire,” Sam says, exchanging a glance with Josh. “We can do that.”

CJ and Donna share a look of concern. “Last time you tried to start a fire, you almost set the White House ablaze,” CJ says cautiously.

“But we successfully started a fire,” Josh points out. “And if it wasn’t indoors in a fireplace with the flue welded shut, we would have been successful.”

Donna has to give them this. “Okay. Go find some firewood and get it started. I think we’re all starting to get hungry.”

Josh grabs a lantern and gives Donna a grin. “Let’s go, Sam.”

While Donna unpacks the food they were sent for dinner, Josh and Sam come back with arms full of wood, Sam looking the worse for wear with several scratches all over his body and what looks like it could be blood.

“Sam! What happened?” CJ exclaims, looking him over.

“I got into a fight with a blackberry bush,” Sam mutters. So not blood, at least, CJ thinks with a sigh of relief.

Josh drops his armful of wood by the pit. “The bush won.”

“Do you need any bandages or anything? They sent us an extensive first aid kid, because I’m sure they know how clumsy you are.” CJ takes Sam’s armful of wood and kneels down next to Josh. “Show me, how do we do this?”

While Sam washes himself off with a water bottle and pulls out the last few thorns, Josh manages to get a fairly impressive fire going. Donna passes around hot dogs and everyone begins to roast theirs, although Sam drops at least two in the fire. Josh intentionally sets his on fire, charring it until anyone else would regard it as inedible.

Perhaps, they all begin to think as they laugh around the fire, for once able to focus on something besides work, this camping thing isn’t so bad. The stress of the election has been weighing heavily on all of them, but they’ve spent almost a whole day without pondering electoral math or congressional seats.

The fire slowly dies, and once it’s down to only the embers, everyone slowly begins to peel off and say good night.

CJ blinks and lets her eyes adjust to the dark before picking up her lantern and padding softly out of the cabin. She would blame her inability to sleep on the nap she took earlier in the day throwing off her schedule, but she knows that’s not the entirety of it.

To her surprise, the fire is still going when she emerges, and there’s someone still seated on a log by it.

“Josh?” she whispers softly, and he turns to face her with the barest trace of a smile.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks.

“No. You?”

He shrugs and pokes at the fire with a stick. “Didn’t want to,” he says. “Toby snores.”

“And so you’re just going to spend the whole night out here?”

“Probably.”

“Just because Toby snores?”

Josh doesn’t answer, but CJ turns to look at him and can see the set of his jaw and the tension in his face. And she has an idea of what might be going on.

“Josh, have you been having nightmares lately?” she asks, her voice soft.

She didn’t think his body could show any more tension, but he immediately tenses up even more at her question. “Why would you think that?”

“Because I have, too,” she admits. She can see some of the tension fall away from his shoulders, although he still seems guarded.

“About what?”

CJ bites her lip. “Simon, mostly. Which is ridiculous, I mean, I wasn’t there. And that was three months ago, and I wasn’t even there.”

He reaches out and grabs her hand, squeezing it. “You can easily imagine it though, because you know what it’s like to be shot at,” he concludes.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t. I don’t even remember it, really, and I still have nightmares,” he tells her. “It’s not ridiculous, CJ. Believe me.”

She sighs. “I just… they went away for a while. I thought I was doing better, I thought I was over my grief, and then this last week… well, let’s just say my nap this afternoon as the only time this week I woke up from something other than a nightmare.”

“Well, it was two years to the day a few days ago when we got shot at,” Josh says. “Because I haven’t slept much this week either.”

CJ takes a look at him, his tired eyes and the vulnerability present on his face that so few get to see. She feels privileged to see it. “I hadn’t even thought of that,” she admits, “but I’m sure that doesn’t help.”

“It’ll get better again,” Josh says. “You’ll notice that you’ve gone weeks, even months, without something. The grief never quite goes away, but the fear does.”

“Okay,” she replies, her voice choked up a little. If it were anyone else saying this to her, she’d probably be annoyed, but she knows that Josh speaks from experience and is telling the truth. “So you and I, it’s going to be a sleepless night for the two of us?”

He smiles at her and leans further back against the log. “Claudia Jean, are you propositioning me?”

“Only if you want it,” she teases.

—

Donna doesn’t end up needing the alarm she set on her watch because her internal clock is set to absurdly early mornings anyway. It’s mostly still dark when she gets up, but as she emerges from the cabin, she can see that there’s still a fire going, and that CJ and Josh are in front of it, seating against a log. CJ’s head is resting on Josh’s shoulder. If Donna didn’t know the completely platonic nature of their relationship, she would have been jealous, and even though she knows Josh and CJ see each other as siblings, she still has to bite back a bit of jealousy as she approaches them.

“Hey,” she says, “you two slept out here?”

Josh blinks and looks up at her. “I guess we did sleep,” he says. “I didn’t think we’d manage.”

CJ smiles. “Who knew your shoulder made such a nice pillow?”

He tries to push himself up from the ground and winces. “Well, this log did not,” he says. “Is it really time to get started already?”

“Our sunrise hike awaits,” Donna says, with a look on her face that’s somewhere between a smile and a grimace. “Who’s going to have to wake up Toby and Sam?”

“I say we wake up Sam, and then make him wake up Toby,” Josh says. “I didn’t bring my full-body armor with me.”

—

As it turns out, the sunrise hike is an eight-mile loop, with east-facing lookout about two miles into the trek. Toby, already furious about being woken up, is absolutely fuming at the fact that there are six more miles to go after the sunrise stop. “What kind of a man makes you go on a hike at five in the morning, and then extends It so you’re going to be on this trail all day?”

“I’m finding I don’t hate hiking as much as I thought I did,” Josh says. “But I’m sleep-deprived, so don’t hold that against me.”

“Josh, if you used sleep deprivation as an excuse every time, we’d never be able to call you out for anything you’ve ever said,” CJ points out.

Sam sighs. He’s looking much better now that he’s not covered in blackberry juice, but his arm and leg and the side of his face are still very scratched up. “I just want to take a shower.”

“Ten more hours until they’ll take us home,” Donna says. She doesn’t even have to look at the schedule anymore; her memory is freakishly good sometimes.

They reach a clearing near the top of one of the mountains that has some large rocks and a few benches. They’re above most of the other elevations around them, so they have a clear view of the sun beginning to peek out over the hills before them.

“We never see sunrises or sunsets,” Donna notes. “I think it’s usually dark when I get to the White House and dark when I leave.”

CJ lets out a laugh and perches on a rock. “That’s when we actually manage to leave.”

Donna reaches into her backpack and hands out granola bars. “Breakfast, anyone?”

“Any coffee?” Josh asks.

“There’s a pot to boil water back at camp and a thing of instant coffee,” Donna says.

He groans. “So none here?”

“You should really try to become a less caffeinated life form.”

“Tried that for three months. Worst three months of my life.”

“Just because of the coffee?”

Josh grabs a granola bar from her and takes a seat on one of the benches. “Because of the gunshot wound, but you know, the lack of coffee didn’t help.”

“Will you just shut up and enjoy the sunrise?” CJ asks. “Because I’m not going to see one for another four years.”

Josh clears his throat after a bite of the granola bar. “You really believe that? We’ve got another four years left in us?”

“The President’s in fighting mode. He won’t back down,” CJ says. “And we’re not going to let him, are we?”

Sam smiles. “Absolutely not.”

Through a bite of his granola bar, Toby mumbles, “Careful about tempting fate.”

“We’re not tempting fate,” CJ says, “but we’re renewing our fight. We’ve been so bogged down in reelection struggles that it feels like we’ve lost sight of what we’re fighting for. But you know what Richie wants to do for places like this?”

“Tear them down,” Toby mutters.

“But Jed Bartlet wants to build them up. Build more of them. Let people come to appreciate the outdoors, to see the sunrise, to protect the natural treasures of this country. If we never get to see the sunrise, we should make sure it’s because we’re working long and hard to ensure that other people have that chance here, and at places like this.” Her voice is beginning to get excited. “And that’s only one of the many reasons we’re fighting to show the voters our vision of America. The one that protects the treasures we have, and seeks to provide the best for our citizens. That’s why we’re fighting from before sunrise to after sunset. So what do we say? Four more years?”

Josh grins and holds up the remaining half of his granola bar in a sort of toast. “Four more years!” he shouts out over the mountains.

There’s a chorus of exclamations that no one but them will ever hear, but as the sun rises, there’s a bit of weariness lifted off of each of them. The last four years have been interminably long and difficult, but they are all instilled with a sense of new energy for what they do.

“So that’s what you’re like on sleep deprivation?” Josh teases CJ, as they leave the clearing and set out on the next part of their hike.

“See why that excuse will never work?”

“Fine, but I still stand by the fact that I said a lot of things on heavy drugs that I didn’t mean.”

“Such as being an outdoorsman?” Donna pipes up.

“See, after this weekend, I think I stand by that one.”

——

The Secret Service takes them all back to the White House, rather than to their apartments, and they’re all directed to the Oval Office, where President Bartlet sits behind the desk expectantly.

“You all made it back in one piece!” he says with delight. “I was sure a bear was going to eat one of you; my money was on Toby.” He takes in Sam’s scratched up face. “Except for you, Sam. What happened there?”

“I fought a blackberry bush, and the bush won,” Sam mumbles.

“You did all the hikes?” the President asks.

Toby grimaces. “Donna forced us to.”

“I knew she’d keep you on track,” he says, and Donna beams in response. “And the speech?”

“Needs revision and typing up, but it’s quite good, if I do say so myself,” Sam says, although Toby shoots him a glare, clearly not as pleased with the quality of writing.

“Excellent, excellent. And you two,” the President says, looking at Josh and CJ, “how did you find it?”

CJ smiles. “Quite enlightening, sir. I’m instilled with a new sense of energy. That said, I’d like to go home and get some sleep.” Josh nods in agreement.

“Yes, yes, of course,” the President says. “But senior staff tomorrow, I’m going to have to hear more. God, I can’t wait to open this new national park.”

They all file out of the Oval Office, but Josh hangs back behind the others and grabs Donna’s arm. “Do you have a ride home?”

“I was going to take the metro,” Donna says. “My car’s on the fritz again.”

He shakes his head. “No, don’t. Not will all that stuff. I’ll give you a ride.”

Donna’s about to protest, especially since he definitely seems too tired to be driving, but she considers it and nods in agreement. At least she can make sure he doesn’t fall asleep at the wheel.

“I’m glad you were there,” he says. “I don’t know if I would have made it through this weekend without you.”

She blushes at the compliment. “I’m sure you would have been fine. After all, you proved that you are, in fact, an outdoorsman.”

“Still,” he says, with a surprising amount of sincerity, “the outdoors is so much more fun with you there.”

#donnaamoss #asks #the west wing #josh lyman #donna moss #josh x donna #sort of?#it’s mostly senior staff + donna friendship fic #but it’s 6k words of it lol #this is maybe a weird direction to go with this prompt but i just wanted to write the senior staff camping okay #i really did this instead of working on my final projects go figure

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awxward · 3 years

Text

Potential

gen // 3.7k words

I had the idea of Juza hugging Kumon and his mom, crying bc he was finally able to audition/get accepted into theatre, and then I wrote this.

read on a03

gift for @xxxbookaholic

Juza had told his mother and brother about his dreams of being an actor a lot. They supported him through it all. He went to auditions for the school plays and was turned down immediately. In his first year of middle school, he stopped going to auditions. What was the point if he was only going to be turned away in the end? Juza had long since given up hope on his dream, yet now, just a few years after he had given up he got to see his cousin on stage. Muku who had always been anxious and shy was standing boldly on stage and being a new person. Juza wished he could do that. To stand on stage and be someone that people would be afraid of or start fights with. He wanted a place to escape. After the play had ended, Juza got up to leave, he didn’t want to embarrass Muku by showing his face backstage, besides Mom was back home with Kumon who was sick with a fever and could probably use some help around the house. A small flyer caught his attention. He wasn’t sure why he grabbed it, he just knew he had to keep it away from his family. He had long since given up on his dream to stand on stage, he hadn’t auditioned in years, he hadn’t been to a theatre in years before tonight, and still, he found himself folding the paper into a small square and shoving it in his pocket.

Mankai Company is looking for actors for the new Autumn Troupe. Auditions are going to be held tomorrow, August 28, at 9 am in the Mankai Theatre.

When Juza got home he kept the paper in his pocket so it wouldn’t be found and put his jacket on his bed. All auditions ended the same for him. He knew he’d be turned away at the door. If he didn’t tell mom or Kumon, well it’d just keep them from feeling sad for him. He went to check on Kumon who was sleeping, and made his way back to his room to get ready for bed. He fell asleep to thoughts of standing on stage.

The next morning, Juza got ready quicker than normal. He didn’t want to be late to the auditions. Better to be early so nobody else could see him get turned away as soon as he walked in. He checked his jacket pocket and sighed in relief, the paper was still there so nobody knew. He checked on Kumon, who was still sleeping and feverish, before hugging his mother and telling her he’d be back a little bit later.

Juza would have been on time had it not been for the punk Banri following him and trying to pick fights with him every other minute. Now, because he had to spend so long trying to ditch Banri, he was late and would have to deal with the embarrassment of everybody seeing him turned away at the door.

He looked at the theatre sign. Maybe he could just walk away now and forget about all of this.

“Excuse me, are you here for the Autumn Troupe auditions?”

Juza turned around, very surprised at the sudden voice next to him. It was a shorter man with glasses and a really bad sense of style.

“Don’t be shy, come on in!”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Isuke Matsukawa, the manager at Mankai. The director is inside with the Summer Troupe and a couple others who just walked in. Would you like me to show you to the stage where the auditions are going to be?”

Juza was confused. This short man, Matsukawa, was offering to show him to the stage for auditions? Was he really not going to be turned away? Would he actually have a chance? For the first time since he saw the paper, he wished he had mentioned it to his mom and brother. They’d be so happy he’d get to actually audition.

“Thank you. That would be nice, sir.”

“You can drop the sir part, it makes me feel old. Anyway, follow me!”

Matsukawa led Juza into the theatre where he had been the night before, watching Muku shine on stage. Today he saw the summer troupe in casual clothes and two boys who were chatting with everybody there. In the middle of the group was the odd one, the only girl. She had long brown hair that went down to her waist and Juza thought her eyes looked like they were the same color as caramel.

“That’s Izumi Tachibana, the director. She’s doing the auditions today!”

Juza suddenly felt his heart drop. Girls tended to avoid him or run away from him and if she was doing the auditions, she probably wouldn’t take him seriously, if she even let him up on stage at all.

“Director” Matsukawa called out and Izumi looked up and smiled. “I found someone interested in auditioning!”

He led Juza down to the group, and suddenly he was standing next to Muku.

“Ju-”

Juza slightly shook his head. He didn’t want them to think any less of Muku because they were related. It’d be best if Muku didn’t talk to him casually.

“What’s your name?” Izumi asked as Matsukawa made his way outside.

“Juza Hyodo.”

“Hi, Juza, I’m Izumi Tachibana, the director of Mankai Company. The summer troupe is here helping with auditions!”

“I’m Muku Sakisaka.”

“Kazunari Miyoshi, my dude! Nice to meet you!”

“I’m Yuki Rurikawa. Yes, I wear dresses and yes, I am a boy. Hack, just because you’re a celebrity doesn’t mean you happen to be exempt from introductions!”

“I know that! And I’m not a hack! Tenma Sumeragi, Summer Troupe leader.”

“Hiiiiiiiiiiiii! I’m Misumi! Do you like tri-tri-triangles?”

This was a weird bunch of people. “Nice to meet you all and triangles are cool I guess?”

The purple haired one, Misumi smiled at him and shoved something in his hands. “Here’s a Mr. Triangle for you! He’ll give you good luck!”

“Misumi.” Izumi called out. “We’ve talked about this. You have to ask if it’s okay to give them a Mr. Triangle.”

“Because people may not like it being shoved at them and I need to wait for an answer?”

“Exactly! I’m glad you remember it, but you should apologize and ask if he wants to still hold it, okay?”

“Okaaaaaay.” Misumi turned away from Izumi back to him. “Sorry for shoving a Mr. Triangle at you. I should have asked if you wanted to hold him before giving him to you, because it’s rude to randomly shove things at people and I should have waited so you could answer. Do you still want to hold Mr. Triangle?”

Juza smiled at him. “If it’s okay with you, I’ll hold him. Thank you.”

Misumi smiled. “Yay! Juza likes the Mr. Triangle!”

“Alright boys, if you’re auditioning I want you to line up in front of the stage! Summer Troupe, you can sit down along the first row if you want.”

Juza made his way to the stage next to two others. A man with brown hair and a scar on his chin and a boy with red hair. They both smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I found another one interested!” Matsukawa burst in and Juza felt his heart drop as he stared at the face who was beside him, Banri Settsu.

“I didn’t say I was interested, asshat! I was looking for someone to fight!”

“What are you doing here?”

Banri noticed Juza standing there. “That’s my line, asshole.” He took a step forward and Juza followed suit. Red hair looked like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Brown hair had a look on his face that Juza couldn’t read.

“Well, this isn’t very peaceful.” Brown hair spoke up.

Suddenly Red hair’s face lit up. “I know you, Juza! You go to my school!”

Banri shot off another insult and Juza fired one back. They kept this going until a voice cut through.

“Will the both of you stop with the shouting! If you don’t wanna be here then leave. The only fights that should happen in theatre are stage fights!”

Juza and Banri both froze to see a blonde man standing in the doorway with a very serious look on his face. Juza stepped back beside red hair. Banri stood on his other side. Izumi’s face lit up. Juza noticed Muku looked scared. If he learned that the blonde man had somehow hurt Muku, he would fight him right here.

“Thank you for coming! I didn’t think you’d make it!”

“Wait, Sakyo was the other person you scouted for Autumn?”

Juza filed this information away. If Muku knew the man’s name was Sakyo and looked scared of him, something might have happened and Juza was ready to throw punches if he learned of any incidents.

“It’s the Yakuza.” Green hair said, Juza thought they said their name was Yuki, but he couldn’t remember.

And then his full line hit Juza as red hair spoke up. “Y-yakuza?”

“Now, now, looks can be deceiving.” Izumi spoke up. “Sakyo has watched over the theatre for years. He knows and loves this company more than anybody else here. I think he’s a necessary asset to us.”

“So he’s not just a scary debt collector?” Tenma asked.

“Can we stop with the idle talking and get on to acting? I have other things to do today.” Sakyo spoke up.

Izumi nodded and gestured for him to join the line and then passed lines to everybody. “When you boys go up on stage I want you to introduce yourself and tell us your experience with acting, then recite the lines I gave you.”

Brown hair went up first. “My name is Omi Fushimi, I’m a uni student at Yosei University, and I’m in the photography club. I’ve never acted before.”

Juza thought Omi did well. His voice was loud and clear, even if he didn’t know how to move. He finished and Izumi gestured for him to join Summer Troupe in the front row.

Red hair walked up. “My name is Taichi Nanao, and I’m a second year at O High! I’m a total newbie to this as well!”

For being a total newbie, Taichi did amazing. His voice was loud and clear, and his actions were a bit clumsy, but you could tell what he wanted to show.

Izumi pointed at Banri and he went up. “Banri Settsu, Hana High third year. Never been on a stage before.”

Juza hated to admit it, but Banri was good. He had good timing for pausing and expressed his emotions clearly, his voice was loud and clear. He was even better than Taichi had been.

“Are you sure you’ve never been on stage before?”

“Yeah, but it ain’t no problem for me.”

“Alright. Can you come join the others on the front row? Juza, you’re next.”

Juza was terrified. “I’m Juza Hyodo, a third year at O High. I’ve never acted before.”

He went through his lines and when he was done he looked into the audience seats. Summer Troupe looked intrigued, Omi had a sad smile on his face, and Taichi gave him a thumbs up. Banri started laughing.

“You are the worst, Hyodo, I swear-”

“Banri, if you are going to bully Juza or anybody else you will not be allowed to join this company do you understand.” Izumi had a steely look on her face and Juza imagined that if she got really angry she’d be scarier than the Sakyo guy.

“I want to join the theatre, please.” Juza ignored Banri and bowed as low as he possibly could.

“Stand up, Juza. You can join.” Izumi smiled softly at him.

“Really?”

“Of course. Go sit in the front row.’

“How do you plan to improve Hyodo’s acting?”

“Izumi makes training regimens for each actor so they can work on the things they struggle with! They’re really fun and the others are always happy to join you if you want them too! They helped me be less anxious!” Muku spoke up. Summer troupe nodded.

“Yeah, Sakuya, the Spring Troupe leader, said that she’ll adjust the regimens as needed!” Tenma added on. “She does her research and thinks about what would be best for each actor to develop and grow, both on and off stage!”

“So he’s really going to join?” Banri seemed like he was trying to convince himself it was a joke.

“It’s better to have someone with little talent and lots of passion than someone with some talent and no passion. If you don’t like it, you can leave, the door is back there, boy.”

“What’d you just say to me, you old man?”

“Alright, both of you, stop it. Juza is joining and that’s final. Juza, you can come find a seat down here.”

Juza sat beside Misumi and pulled the Mr. Triangle out of his pocket. “Do you want your triangle back?”

Misumi smiled at him. “You can keep him! He’s going to bring you good luck!”

Juza smiled at him. “Thank you, Misumi.”

Sakyo walked on stage. “I’m Sakyo Furuichi. I work with the Ginsenkai Family. I acted as a kid, but I haven’t been on stage since.”

Though he said he hadn’t been on stage since he was young, Juza could tell he remembered the basics. His voice was clear and smooth, and his actions were clumsy like Taichi’s but he was able to cover up some of the clumsiness by changing his actions.

“Welcome, boys, to the Mankai Company Autumn Troupe! Now, for some smaller details now that you’ve joined. Mankai company has dorms that are available if you want to stay there. If you are a minor, I will need to call and talk to your parents to get their permission. If you don’t want to stay in the dorms, or you are unable to, you can still travel between the theatre and your house.”

The other four boys volunteered to stay in the dorms and after some phone calls Banri and Taichi were allowed to join Omi and Sakyo in the dorms.

Izumi turned to Juza. “Would you like to stay in the dorms? Moving day is next Saturday.”

“Can I talk to my family first and talk to you about it later?”

Izumi smiled. “Of course. Sakuya from Spring Troupe is usually here practicing, but the others come in often as well, so stop by here and someone can lead you to the dorms to talk to me, okay.”

Juza nodded. The boys all went their separate ways.

Juza felt like he was in a dream his entire walk home. For the first time in his life, he was able to audition and he got accepted in, even though he was so bad compared to everyone else. He opened the door. “I’m home.”

“Welcome back, Juza!” His mom poked her head around the corner. “Juza, baby, what’s wrong?”

“Huh?”

“His mom wiped her thumb across his face. “You’re crying. Did something happen? Are you hurt?”

“I- actually, is Kumon awake?”

“Yeah, his fever went down a bit. He’s been waiting for you. Let me check you for injuries.”

“Mom, I’m not injured, I swear, but I need to talk to you and Kumon together, so I’ll bring him to the couch, okay.”

“If you insist you aren’t hurt, I’ll believe you, but if you are lying to me, you’ll be in trouble.”

“Understood.” Juza smiled and made his way to Kumon’s room. He knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, Kumon. Are you feeling better?”

Kumon beamed at him. “Yep! My fever went down a bit! Are you crying? Is everything okay? Did you get hurt? Does mom know?”

“Kumon, I’m not hurt.”

“Pinky promise?” Kumon held up a hand, pinky extended.

Juza linked their hands, “Pinky promise.” Kumon smiled. “Good.”

“I do need to talk to you and mom together. Are you feeling well enough to go to the couch?”

Kumon nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Juza stayed by his side as they made their way down the hall to the living room. Kumon sat on the couch and tried to catch his breath. Their mom walked in and handed Kumon a glass of water before sitting down next to him. Juza sat across from them on the other couch.

“I didn’t tell you where I was going today.”

“Yes, you did leave that detail out when you left.”

“I found a flyer last night. For auditions for a theatre troupe.”

Kumon looked up with wide eyes and his mom smiled at him gently. “Is that why you were crying? Did you get turned away again?”

“No, they let me audition.”

His mom and Kumon froze for a moment before smiling like crazy.

“What happened, Juza?” Kumon was vibrating in his spot.

“I got accepted into the theatre company.” Juza was aware that tears were falling down his face again, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as his brother and mother ran over to hug him.

“Which theatre company did you join?”

“Mankai Company.”

“I’ve heard of them somewhere.”

“Auntie and Uncle mentioned them. It’s Muku’s theatre troupe.”

“You’ll be acting with Muku!”

“No, Mankai is split into four sub-troupes based on the seasons. Muku is in the Summer Troupe. I am in the Autumn Troupe.”

“That’s amazing!”

“There’s more. They have dorms. The director wanted to know if I’d be interested in staying there. Moving day is next Saturday, and she’ll need your permission to allow me to stay there.”

His mom smiled at him. “Do you want to stay in the dorms?”

“I do. There are other actors there I can learn from and I want to stay close so I can get along with my troupe mates.”

“Then I give my permission.”

“I’ll visit often, I promise.”

“Juza, what’s in your pocket?”

Juza pulled out the Mr. Triangle. “When I first walked into the theatre one of the Summer Troupe boys, Misumi, shoved it in my hands. He said it was a Mr. Triangle for good luck. He also told me I could keep it.”

“That was very kind of him.”

“It must really have good luck in it! You get it and then you can audition for the first time and you get accepted into the same troupe as Muku!

Juza smiled. “I think you’re right, Kumon.”

“When can I talk to the director about you staying in the dorms?”

“She said that tomorrow there’ll be guys in the theatre who can take us to the dorms to talk to her.”

“I wanna go too.”

“If your fever is still there, you’ll be staying in bed. If it’s gone, you have baseball practice.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Don’t worry Kumon. I’m sure you can stop by to visit the dorm sometime.”

“Okay.”

The next morning Juza wove through the streets with his mother until they were in front of the theatre. Juza opened the door.

“Citron, I don’t think that prop can be used as a sword1” A pink-haired boy was frantically trying to take a prop away from a man in a foreign looking outfit, who was laughing as he swung the prop around. The pink-haired boy looked up. “Oh, hello! I’m Sakuya, leader of the Spring Troupe! Can I help you?”

“I’m Juza Hyodo, this is my mom. I auditioned yesterday and needed to talk to my family about the dorms. I was told I could come here and someone would be able to bring me to the Director?”

“Nice to meet you, Juza! Nice to meet you, ma’am!” Sakuya smiled and jumped off the stage, the other one (Citron?) following close behind. “Just follow us!”

“Hi! I’m Citron!”

“Hello. Thank you.”

Sakuya and Citron led Juza and his mom down the road until they were in front of a large dorm building. Misumi was laying on the ground with a boy Juza didn’t recognize from auditions. Kazunari and Yuki saw Juza and made their way over.

“Hey! It’s Hyodle! What’s up, my dude? You here to talk to the director?” Kazunari was bouncing with energy.

“Hyodle?”

“Sorry, Friendly McExtrovert here gives everybody nicknames like that. I’m Yuki, in case you didn’t remember my name. There were a lot of names to remember yesterday.”

“We needed to talk to the director. Sakuya and Citron brought us here.” Juza looked around and realized the two had disappeared.

“They probably went back to the theatre. If they brought you here then they probably went back to clean up and lock up the theatre. They’ll be back soon.” Yuki turned and waved for them to follow.

Inside was chaotic. Several boys were running around. A couple of boys were arguing in the corner about something. Izumi stepped out from the hallway and all the boys froze.

“Please keep it down, I’m on the phone with Sakuya. He did well on his history test so he gets to choose what dinner is tonight.” She looked up and smiled at Juza and his mom. “I’ll be with you two in a moment, please, have a seat.”

Several boys finally noticed Juza and his mom standing awkwardly off to the side. Izumi stepped back into the room. “Would you two like to talk in the courtyard outside? Or maybe the kitchen?”

“The kitchen would be fine, dear.”

Juza and his mom followed Izumi back.

“Your name is Juza Hyodo, right?”

Juza nodded.

“Great! I wanted to make sure I remembered it properly.” She sent a smile to him and directed her attention to the side. “Are you his parent?”

“Yes, I’m his mother.”

“I’m assuming you’re here to talk with me about whatever decision you’ve made regarding the dorms.”

“You would be correct, dear. I wanted to let you know I’m giving permission for him to stay here.”

“That’s great! Saturday is move in day and we’ll decide roommates then too! Do either of you have questions about anything?”

“I have a few for you, dear.”

“Okay, ma’am. Juza, if you don’t have any questions you are more than welcome to go introduce yourself to the spring and summer troupes and explore the building.”

Juza nodded and got up.

This would be the start of a new Juza Hyodo.

#juza hyodo #kumon hyodo #a3!#my fic #autumn troupe

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j0hn-deacons-perm · 3 years

Text

Charcoal Dust

Female reader x Brian May

Word Count ~6,100.

I had this fic sitting in my documents since August and re-reading it, I didn’t hate it. So I guess I’m posting it. A bit of a warning I suppose...it goes get slightly suggestive but not 18+..If you’re sensative to that sort of thing, maybe skip this one my dudes.

With the last flick of your eyeliner, you deem yourself ready to head out to the bar. Freddie wanted to let off some steam with finals and you couldn't help but to join in. The apartment you two share have been littered with projects and materials and he almost strangled you for not cleaning up your charcoal dust. With that being the straw which broke the camel's back, tonight is to just get shit faced and to have fun. At least Fred settled one a bar that isn't too much of a walk so you don't have to worry about driving. Grabbing your coat, you leave the complex and into the cold december night.

***

"Y/N, dearie, you're here! Finally the night can commence!"

Freddie runs to you and wraps his arm around your shoulders.

"The boys are here as well. Can't tell you how much work it took to get John out."

Your eyes settle on Deaky, already a bit drunk and waving at you with a grin. "Evenin' Y/N! How's it going?"

"Not as good as you from the looks of it. But I bet a couple drinks could fix that."

You turn to the bar and order your usual mix drink along with a round of shots for everyone.

"Here's to having a good night amongst friends!"

"Cheers!"

Everyone downs their shot and you finally sit down, taking the empty spot next to Deaky. Roger and Brian seem to be in their own little world talking about something so you don't bother with that can of worms yet.

"Y/N, did you find a new model for your drawing yet?"

"Nope. That fucking Steven kid answered my ad, took my payment then just vanished. Won't answer the phone, haven't seen him around campus..I'm out like 80 quid and nothing to draw for my final."

"Ouch. What does it entail exactly?"

"I need to do a live nude model study."

Roger's ears seem to perk up with the mention of 'nude'.

"I can help you out with that, love."

Brian rolls his eyes and Freddie chuckles.

"So, me buying you a shot doesn't get your attention but mentioning I need to draw a naked person does?"

"Well, yeah. You should know this by now."

"I thought alcohol and nudity were on the same tier of importance to you, Taylor."

"Close..but not quite."

You nod at him with a fake academic-like expression as you rub your chin.

"Right, so if anyone knows someone who would be down to model for me let me know."

"I just said I was!"

"Anyone but Roger."

"Oh! What about Brian, dear? He'd be a great model."

The man in question glares.

"Uh..Fred, I don't think so."

"Why ever the fuck not? I've seen you naked before, May. You'd be fantastic. Plus Y/N gets to see your cute little bottom and huge cock!"

His cheeks turn bright red.

"Absolutely not, Fred."

Freddie looks over to your face, laughing despite blushing profusely. He knows of your small crush on the guitarist and loves to relish in opportunities making you and Brian uncomfortable in hopes you two would actually do something. Much to his, and your disappointment, nothing ever happens.

"Well I would do it but I don't have the time in my schedule considering I'm going to be stuck in the art building working on my own shit. Now come on, don't subject her to Roger."

Brian looks over to you, finding you playing with a hem on your shirt, trying to distract yourself from the awkward conversation.

"Well we both know Bri's not going to do it, so when can I come over, love?"

With a slump of your shoulders, you face the blonde.

"It's not a sexual thing where I draw everything, you know. You're going to be in a pose you can hold for a long period of time while I focus on drawing mainly your prominent body landmarks like ribs, pelvis, and muscles along with bones."

"See, Bri? It's not a personal experience, she's just studying your anatomy. With how lanky you are, it'd be easy to see everything."

"I'll also pay you for your time. Might be a bit before I can get the money but you will be compensated. Also if it's too much for you, you can wear your underwear for most of it until I need to get a certain part."

He looks between you and Freddie, a sigh escapes his lips.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Freddie smirks at you and gives a wink before coming into to whisper in your ear.

"Just a heads up, I've seen him naked and you may have to draw three legs."

You turn bright red but can't help but to cackle at his comment. Brian rolls his eyes and says 'fucker' under his breath.

*** A couple drinks turn to quite a few and talking with Brian ended up with the date, time and place for your drawing session. Now that three days have passed, the time arrives along with four knocks on the door.

"Hey Y/N."

"Hey Bri, thank you so much again for doing this for me."

He looks around the living room and sees you've set up your workspace: an easel, one of the living room chairs and one of the end tables with your box of drawing utensils. He also looks at how it's pointed towards the sofa with a sheet draped on it.

"How would you like me?"

"Comfortable. You'd probably be stuck in that spot for a while. I have pillows if you want 'em."

He nods and sits down on the sofa while you go towards the record player and pop on one of your favorite records.

"I like to work to music so hope you're okay listening to the Beatles for a few hours."

"Why would I complain about good music?"

You chuckle as you sit down in your spot, making any last minute adjustments to the easel's height. Turning your head to the sofa, you see him unbuckling his belt before slipping his shirt off. Back towards you.

Freddie was right, he has a good figure to make this assignment easy for you. Despite trying to stay professional, it's hard to not check out your crush as he strips. When the pants start slipping off, you turn away, too shy to look anymore.

He is your friend, Y/N...he is your friend who is helping you with a project. Don't make this weird..

But then you remember your roll of tape for the sheet so when it's break time, you won't lose the pose.

Shit...

"Hey Bri, once you settle on a pose, would it be okay if I put some tape around you so we don't lose the pose after we take a break?"

"Yeah, that's okay. I also might take you up on that pillow offer."

"Sounds good, I'll be right back."

You smile as you get up and leave for your bedroom to grab him a couple pillows off your bed. When you walk back into the living room, you swear the air has shifted once you see him laying in his underwear on the couch, watching the record spin on the turn table. A knot forms in your stomach..

You're working on your final, you're working on your final, you're working on your final.....

You walk up towards him and hands him the pillows. He promptly adjusts them to fit his pose.

"This alright for your composition, Y/N?"

"Let me check."

You sit down back in your chair and look at what you can see. You can see many of the body's landmarks..ribs, collar bones, muscles, parts of the pelvis...but not the strongest for a good composition.

"The pose is fine but I'm going to move over a bit to get a more interesting angle of ya."

You scoot your set up closer towards the turntable, giving a more dynamic angle of your model.

"Alright, we're looking good. Just need to tape where you're at and we can get started."

Hands slightly shaking on the masking tape roll, you rip pieces off and place them where Brian's posed. It's easy to tell he's tense.

"Bri, you're welcome to chat during this if you want. And whenever you want to take a break to stretch out, do not hesitate to ask."

"Sounds good, love. I guess I'm ready when you are."

He's called you love before but now it seems a bit different...

HE IS JUST HELPING YOU ON YOUR FINAL PROJECT, STOP IT

You rub over your paper pad, sighing and grab your hard charcoal to get the initial lines and shapes in. You can see him closing his eyes once more marks land on your paper. His shoulders also slowly begin to become less tense.

*** Two full albums later, Brian calls break time. You clean your hands off on your pants and set your charcoal back in its box next to you. Having the main structures done and angles correct, you feel good about the progress.

"How's it coming along, love?"

"I think maybe another hour or so and we'll be good."

"Can I sneak a look or is it confidential?"

You nod your head for him to take a look, his presence now behind your back as he analyzes your work. Nerves become more apparent the longer he's silent. You're about to look over your shoulder until you hear him say

"I'm really liking it so far, Y/N. Fred's told us about your work and it's incredibly articulate. However it is odd knowing that's me on your paper."

You blush profusely at his compliment, even more so now that you realize he's extremely close to your body wearing just underwear.

"Well how about I grab you a robe and I'll make us some coffee?"

"Sounds lovely to me, especially since seeing how you're fully clothed, I'm a bit vulnerable."

"I don't mean to make you uncomfortable! Let's get that robe."

"I'm not uncomfortable, just a bit cold maybe."

Leaving for your room once again, you grab your robe. It might be a bit too short for the gentle giant in your living room but it's better than nothing.

"I'm surprised you didn't give me Fred's."

"You don't want it, trust me."

He laughs, tying the belt around his middle and follows you into the small kitchen to grab his favorite mug whenever he visits. The silence grows more comfortable as you hear the coffee drip into the small pot and another cabinet opens to grab the sugar. You open the fridge to grab the milk. Your pour the hot liquid as he adds the sugar to the two mugs, followed by the splash of milk you like in yours. Smiles meet each other and you two sit back in the living room, a new record begging to be played.

"Want more Beatles or how about just some John? I have Plastic Ono Band and Imagine."

"Oh god, that's a decision isn't it?"

"It really is. I'm half tempted to just put Hard Day's Night on."

"Did you see that in theaters? The girls went absolutely mad."

"With that scene with John in the bath? I'm sure I still have hearing issues from that. It got even worse seeing Help."

"George bit?"

"George bit."

Laughs echoed amongst the walls, sharing knowing glances at how loud the shrieking was.

"Have to love sort of shared traumatic experiences. But I'm intrigued, who is your favorite of the four?"

"The Beatles or Queen?"

A slight smirk dances across his lips.

"Beatles? When I was younger, Paul. In more recent years, has to be John. I really respect his political work and his solo albums are so personal and raw."

He nods at your answer, agreeing.

"But with you lot? No one. Don't tell Freddie that, he'll plant something in my bed."

He answers in a hearty laugh.

'It's not like I can say you before we get back to working on a naked drawing of you...'

*** With Lennon playing on the speakers and more charcoal on paper, you're back at it again. Brian somehow managed to get himself back into the same pose with one or two directions from you. Things are now going easier considering the drawing is now just filling in the blanks until you couldn't get one detail right due to it being covered by his underwear. The more you try to remember how the muscles and bone look, the more incorrect it looks to your eyes. The inevitable needs to happen.

"Hey Brian, I'm hating to ask this but uh...I can't get the lower abs to look right with the pelvis. Could you....takeyourunderwearoff."

The last part just rushed past your lips as fast as you could. Your cheeks are bright red, a tell tale sign being how hot your face just became. It's even worse when he arches his brow.

"What was that last part?"

You sigh deeply.

"Could you...take your underwear off so I can get your pelvis a bit better?"

"Oh...uh, yeah."

His cheeks probably match yours but you cover your eyes while he strips the last bit of cloth standing between him being completely exposed in front of you.

"Alright Y/N, you can look now."

His nervous laughter is puntuated with your eyes opening again. While you have a clearer view of the muscles in question, you also have a clearer view of other things.

You now understand why it's called a happy trail.

Correcting his angles once again, you start where you just left off. Only to have the record stop playing, meaning you had to stand up and change the music. Meaning probably a clear view of his, what Freddie called, 'his third leg'. Hands slightly shakey as they remove the vinyl and put it back in its respective sleeve. Fingers lead their way towards Revolver, your go-to homework album. Once the intro of Taxman plays, you make your way back to your seat. During which, your peripheral vision does you dirty.

Fred wasn't entirely kidding. Dear god, Y/N, you're almost done just finish your damn project so Bri can go home and you can take a cold shower...

You sit back down and sigh, taking your charcoal and getting back to work, correcting any inaccuracies caused by his underwear being in the way and adding more to his figure. Side one is over far too soon, causing you to get up and be betrayed by your eyes once again.

At least now it's just adding a bit of definition to the head and small details. Taking the blunt end of your charcoal stick, you begin adding some hair to the drawing. The couple hairs on his chest, a gesture of pubic hair and some messy lines for the curls on top of his head. Staring at his face now, he peeks his eyes open and winks at you then smiles.

"I thought you weren't going to draw my face?"

"Just a little something so it's not just a blank shape."

"Alright. Do you want my eyes open or closed?"

"Do what you want, Bri."

His eyes land on the legs of your easel, moving them around a bit to follow the smudges of paint and charcoal about. Your eyes trace along the angles of his face, adding them to the basic head shape you added during the beginning steps. Browbone, cheeks, nose, eyes, brows, and gesture of his slightly open mouth put down on paper as you mark it done. Looking at the lower right corner of your paper and taking your thin marker, you write your name, class session, semester, and model's first name.

"Alright Bri, I think we're good to go. Want to come take a look?"

Standing up and putting your robe back on, he walks behind the chair. His eyes take in the final composition, from the pillows to his curls all the way down to how to managed to get the angle right on his feet. The sofa, while made of basic abstract shapes, make him look like he's properly weighed out on the cushions.

"It's weird seeing me like that."

"I bet. Talking with some of the models outside of class, they tell me it takes some getting used to seeing shit like this."

"Seeing what others see in your naked body is very...daunting. I think you made me look too good to be honest."

"I just drew what I saw, May."

You look up behind you and catch him blushing, looking down at you while smiling.

"You are incredibly talented, Y/N. If you don't get an A, I'm taking personal offense with your instructor."

You blush hard at the compliment while laughing at his comment.

"Honestly, I would too. You made a beautiful model, Bri. It was an honor to draw you."

Why did I just say that?..

He looks away, face looking shy. He takes compliments almost as bad as you. He sits down back on the sofa, looking at you.

"Now, you did say at the bar that I'd be compensated for my time."

"That I did."

You start to pack away your drawing supplies before digging a can of hairspray out of your backpack. Spraying a light coat over your drawing, you let it dry before packing it away for safe keeping.

His eyes watch you dismantle your workspace, showing him something you've done nearly a hundred times over. Little did you know, seeing you in your element like this made his heart swell. Brian knew you were an art student but never saw you at work. Little did he know, yours did the same when you saw him at practice or on stage. After cleaning up and putting furniture back in their right spots, you sit down in the chair to only find Brian patting the cushion next to him. Giving him a fake glare, you sit next to him.

"I've been thinking of payment and would it just be fine if we ordered some take away and hung out? I'd feel bad taking your money."

"You sure? I'd feel bad not compensating you for your time."

"Y/N, I laid on your couch, chatted with you and listened to my favorite music. Yeah it was a bit weird considering I take a girl out before she sees me naked but hey."

You laugh nervously at his joke, blushing for probably the 53rd time that night.

"I'll get dressed and we'll head out, that good for you?"

"Yeah. I need to change clothes anyway."

"Why? You look cute covered in charcoal."

Your heart nearly jumps out of your chest like a looney toons character. You and the guys are used to calling eachother cute or handsome but something about him being just about naked underneath your robe after drawing him for nearly two hours makes your heart race at a dangerous pace.

"Let's get ready, hmm?"

He stands up, clothes in tow as he walks to the bathroom. The sound of the door closing brings you back to the moment. Grabbing your pillows and sheet off the couch, you leave for your room. The slight smell of him lingering on the fabric fills your nostrils as you throw it towards your laundry basket.

"Goddammit...don't get your hopes up. It's not like this is a date, Y/N..." You whisper under your breath.

Grabbing the clothes you wore earlier today, you get dressed and apply a little extra deodarant and perfume. By the time you've put your shoes on and out of your room, he's slipping his shoes on. Even in mid-December, he's wearing his clogs. He hears your laughter from across the room.

"What's so funny?"

"Bri, it's Christmas in nearly two weeks and you're wearing clogs? If you slip on ice thanks to those things, I’m not helping you up."

"It hasn’t snowed yet, though! Have to wear them while there's still time. Besides, look who's bloody talking wearing canvas sneakers in the cold."

"At least my entire foot is in the shoe."

"That's it, I'm not letting you borrow my scarf if it's still windy. Not with that attitude."

You smack his arm and grab your purse off the coat rack. Locking the door behind you is the last thing before you two leave for any place that is still serving food at this hour.

***

Only getting as far as a corner store, you two buy a couple drinks then enough snacks to constitute a meal. The walk back to the apartment was on the quiet side, Brian looking up to the sky every few blocks in a vain attempt to see any stars that would accompany the moon shining that night. Not much for viewing besides the waxing moon hanging above your heads, hundreds of thousands miles away.

"Hey Bri?"

His features seem almost guilty, being caught in the act but he smiles at you.

"Would it be possible for you to teach me some things about what's up there? Fred's showed me some astrology stuff but it would be kinda cool seeing the constellations and what makes them, y'know?"

"I'd just talk your ear off."

"Can't be too bad, I deal with that already."

You wink as he rolls his eyes.

"But I'm serious, I want to know a little bit about what you study in uni. Especially since we go to different schools, it'd be interesting seeing another side of academics that isn't just color theory or how to mathematically draw cylinders."

"How do you mathematically draw cylinders?"

"It's all about angles and where it sits in space, mostly. Getting that perspective correct. After enough practice I guess you can just sort of see it rather than drawing out all these different grids and lines."

"Does that tie in with drawing people?...That's probably a stupid question of course it does."

"It does but with that, you also need to keep in mind where things in the body are. In our class we also have to do these...sculpting lessons. We're given half a skeleton on a stand and we sculpt the muscles using clay."

He nods, listening to you talk about your coursework and your subject matters from basics to more focused studies. Once back to your apartment, you find Freddie has returned from the art building. The noises of you and Brian taking off shoes and coats made him pop his head around the wall.

"Y/N, lovie, how did your drawing session go?"

"Rather well! Want to see it?"

"Well of course, dear!"

You grab your and Brian's bags from the corner store and place it on the kitchen counter before heading over to your drawing pad, propped up against your chair. Nerves arise as you watch his eyes gaze over your work, the smell of the hairspray you used seal in the charcoal floating to your nostrils.

"Fucking hell, this is brilliant. If you get a bad mark I'm visiting your professor during office hours and giving them a piece of my mind."

He looks down Brian's legs on the paper, your careful contour lines elegantly outlining the muscles.

"I think you forgot a leg, though."

Brian's rolls his eyes as Fred's cackle fills the room. You slap the sketchpad closed and return it to it's spot next to your school bag. A sympathetic look is aimed towards your model.

"Come on you two, lighten up. How about a game of Scrabble, hmm?"

"It is getting a little late, Fred, and Brian has to get back to his place."

"He knows he's welcome to crash on the couch if he wants."

The man in question looks between you two, biting his lip in thought.

"I wouldn't mind crashing here tonight. I'm sure Roger wouldn't mind the flat to himself."

"Then it's settled. You old ladies get your food out of the kitchen and we start this game."

What wasn't expected was Brian winning with such a lead. You could've sworn you've seen Fred's eyes glow red as he told the curly haired man to get out of his home for disrepecting him that severely. He went to bed infuriated as he left you two out in the living room to watch TV.

"You sure you want to spend the rest of your Friday night here?"

"It's technically Saturday morning now."

"Smart ass."

He smiles and slowly leans towards you on the sofa, his warmth sneaking up the arm closest to him.

"Hey Bri?"

He hums in response, eyes not leaving the program painting the screen.

"I never really properly thanked you for helping me with my assignment. You honestly saved my grade modeling for me."

He turns his head to face you, eyes looking at yours illuminated by the screen's light.

"You're more than welcome, love. It was interesting watching you work. You have this little face you make when you're really concentrated."

"Where I don't blink and my mouth is partially open? That's my focusing amphibian look."

He chuckles.

"Roger does the same thing but that's his confused look."

"I thought his confused face was this.."

You imitate the face you've seen many times during your homework sessions with the boys. Also when he tries to understand what Fred wants to do add extra flair to shows or songs.

"No, you're right. That's the one." He laughs.

Comfortable silence floats around the air as you two continue watching telly. Thirty meants turn into 90 as the episodes of various shows play before you. Slight comments here and there said but it wasn't until Brian laid his head on top of your head that something was really spoken.

"I have a question."

"Care to share with the class, May?"

You can feel his cheeks stretch out with a slight smile.

"Would you think less of me if I put my studies on hold when, or even if the band gets bigger? I know we only have one album out at the minute but I've thought about it and..."

Patting his knee, you spoke.

"I could never think less of you for persuing something like that. You and the guys have worked your asses off and if, no, when your hardwork pays off, grab those opportunities. You earned any success that comes your way."

He moves his head to look directly into your eyes.

"Knowing you, you'll eventually get your PhD but sometimes life throws you a curveball and you have to just roll with what it gives you. If it's Queen, then see it through."

Surprise washes over you as he gives you a hug, enveloping you in his arms tightly as his face creates a home in the crook of your neck. This breath along your skin giving away to goosebumps.

"I've been thinking about this for weeks and um...."

"Did you already drop out, Bri?"

"No, no..."

"Uh huh..." You narrow your eyes at him.

"Seriously, Y/N, I haven't dropped out of uni. I've been thinking about...."

You pull away and look at his eyes directly, cheeks flushed even in the low light of the living room.

"What is it?"

He sighs, looking down at his lap.

"You."

Eyes going wide, you look at anything but him. The stray floaty in the air, the reflection of light as a car drives past your flat, the one stray strand of yarn or whatever it is sticking out of the rug on the floor.

"I'm not saying this because you drew me naked and I'm feeling obligated to but tonight made me realize something."

Your eyes finally focusing on your hands, fingernails picking at cuticles.

"If this does become something larger than life, I don't want to leave you behind. When Freddie introduced us to you last year, there was something about you I couldn't shake off. I wasn't sure what it was the chalk pastel dust you were covered in or something else."

You smile at his words but your heart doesn't lighten up the speed at the rate it's beating. When it comes loose, it's going to skyrocket across the English channel.

"But now actually getting to know you over time and tonight made me come to the conclusion that....I certainly have feelings for you and I don't know what you want to do with that information."

Your fingers stop picking at a loose bit of skin on the side of your nail and you swear your heart just stopped in your chest. Eyes wide, you stare at him. Mouth agape, not knowing what to say other than just "Bri..."

"I can see I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. Maybe I should head ho-"

As he begins to stand up, you grab his wrist and pull him right back down towards your side.

"Meeting you was one of the most profound days in my life, Bri. You...fuck,...I'm not a wordsmith and I'm nervous as all hell right now."

He smiles ever so slightly but his leg bounces with such vigor you wouldn't be surprised if your downstairs neighbor complained to the landlord tomorrow.

"And now hearing you may have feelings for me? Like...how do I even process this when it's something I've been wanting to hear for almost a year?"

It's now his turn for his eyes to buldge open in shock.

"When you first talked to me about astrophysics and I saw your entire demeanor light up with such passion, my heart damn near stopped. I couldn't focus on anything else but you. Even when you're just relaxed I feel like that. You're breathtaking and I'm pretty sure I went comotose and had a lucid dream seeing you perform with the boys for the first time."

He smiles, eyes looking directly into yours as your mouth just vomits out any word you promised to never let out.

"I've fallen for you so hard. I love your smile and laugh. I love the slope of your nose. I love that you've let your hair be curly because let's be real, you looked real questionable when you straightened it."

He laughs and you can tell his cheeks are heating up.

"I love that little noise you make when you find something interesting in your textbooks and your hums when you're thinking of a new song and your little eyerolls at the boys when they're being dumbasses and your sense of humor and just......fuck, look at you! You're so fucking handsome and that's even with the clogs!"

He grabs your hands, rubbing his thumbs against the knuckles. His smile shining so bright even with the low light from the television that's now taken a backside seat of your conversation. He looks down at your entertwined hands.

"Calling you a friend and wanting to see you has gotten me out of bed so many days Y/N, I've lost count. I can't even imagine if you'd be more than a friend to me but I guess we can find out."

Your smile has extended to lengths you didn't know possible. Letting go of his hands, you wrap your arms around him instead.

"I forgot to say this, but I also love your hugs."

A chuckle escapes his chest and he holds you tighter, a kiss lands on your cheek. Time goes by as shows flash before your eyes, eventually leading to you falling asleep in his arms with him not too far behind.

*** Hours pass before you awake, head laying on his lap and knees tucked in. Sitting up, you find him using the arm rest as his pillow, arms crossed underneath his face. He looks so peaceful and you don't want to take him up but you want to sleep in your bed.

Dare you ask if he wants to join you?

It'll just be us sleeping together in the same bed and maybe cuddles...?

You brush his curls away from his face, tucking what you can behind his ear as you shake him gently.

"Hey Brian..?"

He doesn't stir, contemplating on just his carrying his lanky ass to your room.

"Bri.. wake up, hon. Come on."

You continue rubbing his upper arm until he stirs awake, opening his eyes and squinting at the screen's light.

"...What time is it?"

"Late. Would you want to sleep on the couch or my bed?"

"I'm fine out here, I don't want to take your bed from you."

You smile and chuckly slightly.

"I mean share the bed with me."

He smiles at the idea but eyes are shy.

"I'd like that."

You two stand up, him shutting up the TV and you leading the way to your room with his hand in yours. Navigating the small hallway at night lead to him bumping into you twice, and him saying apologies but you could not care less.

Once in your room and switching on the light, he's greeted to your own personal space. He can see canvases with studio projects painted on them under your bed, posters littering your walls. Some local band shows you've attended, a Queen one catching his interest. His eyes also catch your Beatles poster, the one from their White Album. He also sees the pillow he used earlier that day when he was modeling along with the robe tossed into the corner with the rest of your dirty laundry.

"I think I might have a pair of pants you could wear unless you're not a pants to bed kind of guy."

"No pants is what I normally go for but if you're uncomfortable with that I ca-"

"It's fine with me, just no funny business, May."

"Are cuddles out of the equation?"

"I sure as hell hope not."

He smiles and removes his necklaces, placing them next to your sketchbooks on top of the small desk next to the bed. You change into sleep shorts as he takes his trousers off.

Never thought I'd see that twice today.

Shutting off the light and climbing into bed, he goes first, leaving you in your usual spot. Fluffing up the pillows and adjusting the blankets now done, He wraps you in his arms almost immediately, lips kissing your cheek gently.

"You have enough pillows, Bri?"

"Yes. Thank you, love."

"Want me to grab another blanket?"

He laughs gently, kissing your face one last time.

"I'm more than okay."

You turn around to face him head on, able to make out where his eyes are looking. Fingers playing with one curl, eventually leading to caressing the side of his face. Thumb tracing over one of his cheekbones.

"You're so handsome, Bri."

"Ever look at yourself?"

"Do you always kiss ass?"

"Not until the 3rd date."

You slap his arm, laughing.

"I guess with that comment I won't give you a kiss goodnight."

His face contorts in fake hurt. It's wiped off as soon as you bring your lips to his, fingers gently caressing his jaw as you kiss him. Almost as fast as it happened, it stopped. Smiles painting both your faces.

"Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Bri."

Turning back around, you scoot closer to him. Arms around your waist and face tucked near your shoulder, you two fall asleep.

*** You wake up before him. His arms are still wrapped around your middle and your legs entangled with one anothers. Your bladder urging you out of the warm confines of your bed, you carefully move out of his grasp to not awake him. Mission was successful as you close the door behind you, hearing Freddie in the kitchen as you walk to the bathroom. After giving yourself a pep talk while washing you hands, you face your roommate, face giving you a smirk.

"Y/N....I saw his god awful shoes by the door but he wasn't on the couch. Please tell me the details, darling!"

"Nothing really happened, Fred! We ended up talking after you went to bed and he sort of told me he had feelings for me and we passed out on the couch."

"He finally told you? About fucking time! You have no idea how much Roger got on his case. Even Deaky was begging him to shut up and ask you out. 'Oh how is Y/N doing? Is she free sometime soon, Fred? What should I get her for Christmas? What does she like? Do you think she likes me?'....every practice Y/N..every practice."

"At least I finally got around to it, Freddie."

He wrapped his arms around you, voice heavy with sleep.

"Now I get to annoy you about her even more now that we're dating."

Brian kisses your neck as Freddie pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Please don't subject us to that. We've suffered enough, dear."

***

aaaay, it’s done! Tbh, I got the idea for this fic after looking through some of my life drawing sketches. Also, a tip with charcoal or chalk pastel drawings from an art student...use hair spray. It’s cheaper than fixitive spray, works just as well, doesn’t affect the colors in chalk pastels, and doesn’t harm your lungs with the fumes (not nearly as badly, anyway). Besides that, thank you so much for reading, liking, reblogging, etc 💖💖

#queen #queen band #queen fanfiction #brian may imagine #brian may fanfiction #brian may x reader

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