#really this is all valentin's fault for not clearly communicating with the both of them

[saintlesbian]

in universe reaction to anna shooting charlotte vs fandom reaction to anna shooting charlotte

#pentababbles #general hospital #vid #sadfcd LMAOOOOO #this is gonna be good soap actually - anna shot a teenage girl????? like how tf re you getting outta this one #dark hooded figure breaks into anna's new apartment and goes looking through her wsb files - #well DUH shes gonna shoot that looks suspicious as hell #plus charlotte still thinking anna is taking her father from her... #really this is all valentin's fault for not clearly communicating with the both of them #like this is just two speeding trains colliding into each other i stg #im just glad we've got at least something soapy coming for this sweeps

[khaleesiofalicante]

START OF SOMETHING NEW

“Tavvy, on your left!”

Rafael swivelled off the tree branch, landing gracefully on the floor and quickly wiped off the dust from his coat. They were in the middle of a fight, but his Bapa had taught him that one always had to look their best - especially during a fight.

“Rafe?” his parabatai called out, grabbing another seraph blade from his boot.

Rafael’s fingers pulled on the bowstring by instinct and muscle memory. The arrow slashed through the air and landed on the Shax’s demon’s forehead - or whatever that body part was. It was always so hard to tell with demons.

“Thanks!” Tavvy clasped his shoulder. “Let’s go find the others.”

Rafael nodded and they both ran toward the garden. Mina and his brother had been separated from them during the fight. He hadn’t applied a speed rune, but he didn’t need one when it came to Max.

His dad had taught him everything about what it means to be a good shadowhunter. But the first lesson was simple - always have your family’s back. Always.

They spotted Mina as soon as they made it to the garden. Mina, who was the youngest among them but probably the boldest, was fighting off a Shax all on her own. Rafael noticed another one creeping up behind her. He raised his bow and aimed his shot.

“Not my bestie, you bitch!”

A bolt of blue magic appeared from above and Max landed on the ground, his blue curls falling over his forehead. The Shax turned into goo as Mina skilfully took care of the other one.

“10 points for Ravenclaw for that reference,” Mina high fived Max.

“Nerds,” Tavvy chuckled as the two of them ran up to them.

“Nicely done,” Rafe told the team as he checked Max for any visible wounds.

“Hermano, no!” Max shooed him away. “There is something you both should see.”

Rafe stared at Tavvy, who shrugged and followed the others. They walked into mansion..or what was left of it.

“By the angel. What the hell happened here?” Rafe gasped.

“There were too many Shax demons,” Mina explained. “Max and I had to release a fireball. A big one.”

“Max, Bapa has told you not to do the fireball unless it’s an emergency!” Rafe sighed.

“Excuse me but if battling twenty shax demons doesn’t count as an emergency then I don’t know what does!” Max argued.

“Twenty?” Tavvy echoed. “There were only five!”

“The rest of them turned up after we got separated,” Mina pointed out. “I think they were hiding in the mansion.”

“Do we have any idea who the mansion belongs to?” Rafe asked, already calculating possible damage costs. “Is it a mundane?”

“We don’t know,” Max shrugged. “Can we go now?”

“We can’t!” Rafe said. “You just blew up someone’s mansion. Protocol says we need to do something about it.”

“Protocol is the worst,” Mina and Max mumbled.

“We need back up,” Tavvy looked at him.

“Oh no,” Mina pouted. “Not back up!”

Calling for back up usually meant the mission had gone out of control - and that usually meant no more missions for a while.

“If we call for backup, then they probably won’t let us go on a mission for another three months!” Tavvy grumbled. “Remember what happened in Shanghai?”

“Let’s not,” Max winced. “I think the only reason we got away with it is because of Uncle Jem.”

“Well, we can’t call him here now,” Rafe replied. “He already helped us last time!”

“Then what are we going to do now?” Mina asked. “We need help. But we can’t let the Clave know about this. No offence, guys!”

“None taken,” Max and Rafe said at the same time.

One would think that life would be easier when your dad was the Consul. But that wasn’t the case for Max and Rafe. Their dad was extremely protective of them and would probably take them off field duty for god knows how long.

“Alright, gang!” Max said as they stood in a circle. “We need to find someone who will help us handle this quietly without getting into trouble.”

“We can call Kit,” Mina said. “You know he won’t say a word.”

“But he is in the Moscow institute with Ty,” Tavvy groaned.

“We can call Uncle Jace,” Max beamed. “He is the perfect man for the job.”

“But he is in faerie,” Mina sighed.

“Anyone else borderline concerned that both our options are Herondales?” Rafe inquired.

“We need more Herondales goddamnit!” Max swore. “What are we gonna do now?”

“Well,” Tavvy rubbed his neck. “We are in a helpless situation and need someone to save our asses. Historically, there is only one person we can rely on.”

“Nope,” Rafael said immediately.  

“Already texted him,” Max grinned as he put his phone away.

A blue portal appeared in less than a minute and their Bapa stepped out, striding towards them in a hurry.

“Are you all okay?” He started checking them for wounds, even Tavvy and Mina.

“We are fine, Bapa,” Rafe smiled. “But we can’t say the same for the mansion though.”

“Yikes,” his father said eloquently as he took in their surrounding. “Well, it looks like it was badly in need for a renovation anyway.”

“Uncle Magnus,” Tavvy gulped. “Why is the portal still open?”

Rafe turned around immediately to see the portal shimmering behind them.

“Um, about that,” his Bapa fiddled with his rings. “I might have bought some backup.”

“Dios mio!” Rafael gulped.

“It’s not my fault!” Bapa put up his hands. “Max texted 911! I freaked out! Besides, he was right there when you texted me! What was I supposed to do?”

Before any of them could answer, their dad, and the mother effing Consul, stepped out of the portal.

He immediately ran towards them and scanned them with frantic eyes.

“Is everything okay?” He asked. “I was on a call with the Alliance and they can get here-”

“Bapa, we are fine!” Max reassured him. “It’s just…well.”

“Just some collateral damage, darling,” Bapa chuckled.

The Consul looked around at that and gasped. The mansion was still slowly falling apart slowly.

“Paperwork,” their dad whispered, mostly to himself. “So much paperwork.”

“Darling, it’s just a little mess.”

“Little?”

“Alec, it isn’t like we didn’t blow things up and cause a mess back then,” Bapa said - ever the support of mischief. 

“I have never blown up anything in my life,” his father said indignantly. 

“True,” Bapa shrugged. “But I do recall you making questionable decisions. Remember how you almost ripped apart that vampire because he insulted me?”

“Wasn’t that last week?” Mina chuckled. 

“Exactly,” Bapa grinned at her. “They are still learning.”

“Magnus, I get that. But they ca-”

“Dad, I’m sorry,” Max bit his lip.

“It wasn’t his fault,” Mina said quickly. “We were outnumbered. We had to do a fireball.”

“Blueberry, I know fireballs are a cool aesthetic. But I’ve told you that strong magic must be preserved for serious situ-”

“There were twenty Shax demons, Bapa!” Max pointed out. “Mins and I got separated from the others. We couldn’t fight them all off on our own. We didn’t do it for the aesthetic. We needed to do the fireball to survive.”

The Consul, who was listening them intently, rubbed his beard. Rafe had told him to shave it off multiple times, but their Bapa apparently liked it and thus the beard stayed on.

“Twenty Shax demons isn’t normal!” He pointed out. “We need to launch an investigation.”

“Can we do it?” Max asked, already excited at the prospect.

“Max, all of you are too young-”

“We are almost the same age as you were when you battled Valentine,” Rafael pointed out defiantly.

He saw Bapa smile fondly but dad didn’t falter.

“We’ll be careful, sir,” Tavvy said in a way and that reminded Rafe so much of Julian. “We’ve been tracking the demons since last month. We can handle it.”

Alec looked at Magnus - they were clearly communicating in a way only married people could. Rafe looked at Max who just shrugged. Either of them had been able to break their parent’s secret communication code.

“Alright,” their dad finally said. “Octavian, you will lead the team. You must report to me directly. But I will be nominating one nephilim and downworlder adult to assist you in the mission. If something goes wrong next time, you must directly contact them.”

“Thanks, dad!” Max threw himself at their father. “I knew you are the best Consul.”

Their father only grinned and ruffled Max’s curls. Rafael slowly made his way to him and hugged him from the side.

“Sorry about the mess, dad,” he mumbled. “I promise I will watch out for Max next time.”

“You need to watch out for yourself too,” their dad whispered softly.

“Mr. Consul,” their Bapa said in a formal voice and their dad rolled his eyes. “I would like to volunteer as the downworlder representative for this Taskforce.”

“Hells yeah!” Max pumped his fist in the year.

“Not gonna happen,” their dad shook his dead.

“What? Why?” Their bapa pouted.

“You’re gonna sit this one out,” his father said sternly. “You have a pathological need to get involved in shadowhunter business.”

“No, I don’t!” their bapa gasped. “You’re the weirdo!”

“You will be working with Drusilla Blackthorn and Lily Chen,” their dad said. “Rafe, I need a report on today’s mission by the end of this week. Octavian, arrange a meeting with Drusilla and Lily immediately. And Max and Mina, try not to blow anything up in the meantime.”

“We have one more request,” Max raised his hand.

“We do?” Rafael questioned.

“This is clearly a serious mission,” Max said in a serious voice. “We need more manpower.”

“Maia and the others are busy with the Allia-”

“Actually, we were thinking of someone younger,” Mina pointed out.

“Someone whose last name might be Herondale,” Max grinned.

“No,” their dad whispered softly. “Not the twins.”

“It’s a dangerous mission that involves fighting demons and blowing things up. If we leave Alex and Charlotte out, we will never hear the end of it,” Rafe pointed out with a smile.

“Fine,” his father relented. “Only because they are excellent fighters and would actually be helpful.”

“In blowing things up,” their bapa chuckled softly.

“Oh oh!” Max put up his hand up excitedly again. “Can we ask George to join us too? And Becca?”

“Max, this is not a birthday party!” His father sighed. “You can’t just invite all your friends.”

Max looked Rafe with a sad face. Rafael had never really been able to say no to that.

“We get it, dad,” Rafael nodded. “So if aunt Izzy asks why we didn’t include her kids in our mission, we’ll just say you said no. Is that correct?”

Their bapa covered his mouth from laughing out loud. “They do have a valid point, Alexander.”

The Consul looked at all their faces and sighed tiredly. “Fine. But if one more person is added to this list…Magnus and I will handle the mansion. The rest of you are dismissed!”

“Dad, quick question,” Max raised his hand - again. “If we add Elyaas to the gang, does that count? Cause he is technically not a person-”

“MAX MICHAEL!!!”

A holiday gift for @crying-is-your-latest-fashion​ - for being pretty fucking amazing 💚

#tis a crack fic #hopefully I can write something better for you later <3 #rafael lightwood bane #max lightwood bane #mina carstairs #tavvy blackthorn #tsc snippets #my writing

[crystalwillow]

The Birth

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

Tagging: @kiteplayschoices @brycelahelalover @obsessedheehee @eleanorbloom @fuseboxmusebox @vibrantlyjaz @kaavyaethanramsey @queencarb @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @ramseysno1rookie​ @caseyvalentineramsey @ethanramseyswhore @whippedforethanfreakingramsey

====================

Casey was being ran to the maternity ward. "Where's Ethan?" she asked, "Someone's gone to find him" A nurse told her. "I need him here. I need him!" she cried out as she was helped on to the bed "Please. I need my husband!" she pleaded with the nurse who reassured her they were doing everything they could to get him there as quickly as possible. About an hour had passed and Casey was now a little more comfortable in a hospital gown as she laid on the bed, breathing in gas and air as she cried from the sudden bursts of pain "OOOOOOOOWWWWWW" she cried as the door flew open and someone rushed in "Casey! Sweetheart!" Ethan exclaimed as he ran towards her bed, dropping the hospital bag on the floor. "I'm sorry I took so long. I was stuck with a patient and then I had to rush home to get the bag and-" He rambled as he panted heavily from running "You're here n- agh!" Casey grimaced as she got another contraction. "It huuuurrrrrtttssss" she whined before breathing in the gas and air again.

Ethan sat in the chair and tried to help his wife through it. 2 hours later and Casey was still in labor, panting harder and harder as the minutes ticked by. "why don't you come up onto the bed darling? Kneeling on the floor can't be comfortable" Ethan said softly. "Because the bed isn't comfortable either and I'm stuck, you moron!" Casey yelled at him. "Should I get you a nurse?" he asked. "should I get you a nurse? YES GET ME A FUCKING NURSE YOU BASTARD! THESE CHILDREN ARE COMING OUT NOW AND I'M STUCK DOWN HERE!" She yelled further whilst mocking the way he asked his question. "Very well." He said and stepped outside the room "NURSE! THE CHILDREN ARE COMING!!!!" He yelled in a pitch that nobody had heard before. It even snapped Casey out of the fact she was giving birth on a hospital floor. He stepped back in the room and smiled. "They're here" he stated as he made his way over to her and started helping her up. The nurses ran into the room, immediately helping Ethan get Casey up and onto the bed. "This is all your fault Ethan. I told you to stop being so beautiful and good looking. I wanted to walk away. THIS IS YOUR FAULT DAMN IT!" she yells as she laid back on the bed just as another contraction came. Ethan chuckled as he took her hand "I can't help that I got my fathers good looking genes" he remarked sassily with a smirk. Casey looked at him and managed a brief laugh, "you're too cocky for your own goOOOOOOD. FUCKING HEELLLLLLLLLA!" she shouted as she gripped Ethan's hand with a death grip, turning his knuckles white. "ow. Casey, ow. You're hurting my hand. Ow ow ow" Ethan complained "SHUT IT. IM IN MORE PAIN RIGHT NOW!" Casey continued shouting at him.

After a further agonizing 3 hours 57 minutes, Casey was about to give her final push to deliver baby number 3. Ethan had stepped up and was doing his best to guide his wife professionally through the final stretch, as he wanted to be the one to deliver the last child. "That's it sweetie. On the next contraction I'm going to need you to give one final push with everything you have in you okay?" he said as he stroked her knee. The contraction came and Casey pushed as hard as she could, and with that the baby came out. Ethan cut the cord and a nurse took care of the rest. Casey relaxed back and cried into her arm as the final baby started to cry whilst it was being weighed and cleaned up. Ethan hugged her tight. Kissing her temple, eyes glossing over as a proud feeling spread through his chest. "You done amazing sweetie. Absolutely amazing. You delivered us a gift, you should get some sleep" he whispered soothingly. She hugged him back "I want to hold them first. Please?" she asked as she sniffled, calming down from the crying. 3 nurses brough them over, "Congratulations Casey. You've given birth to 3 healthy babies. 2 boys and a girl" one of them smiled as they carefully passed over 2 babies laying them on her chest and passed baby number 3 to Ethan "Congratulations to you as well Ethan" the nurse smiled "thank you" Ethan smiled back as he sat in the chair next to Casey's bed and the nurses left the room to give them privacy. "I love you little one. I'm going to do everything I can to be the best father I can be. If anyone ever breaks your heart, I'll make sure they're sorry. Nothing or nobody will hurt you" Ethan mumbled to the small newborn in his arms as he gently cradled it. Casey looked at him and smiled "You're already an amazing father babe" she whispered. Ethan looked at her and smiled back "Thank you." is all he could managed to get out before tears streamed down his face as he smiled at his wife and 2 other perfect children laying on her chest. The feeling he had been searching for his whole life was finally being felt. As he sat in the chair and sighed contently he whispered to himself "I finally feel complete."

Casey smiled at him and started crying too. The Ethan she met all those years ago, was no longer the Ethan next to her today. Of course she knew that part of him still existed and he used it when necessary but the man that sat next to her today, was forthcoming with his kindness and approachable. He was smiling and crying tears of joy and not pain. Ethan rose to his feet and placed the baby in it's cot, then done the same with the other two before sitting on the bed next to Casey, taking her hand. He sniffled and dabbed his eyes with his white coat, then laid his head into her chest and hugging her tight, lost for words. But Casey could feel the rawness in his emotion and communicated back to him through her own. They stayed like that for a while. "I love you" Casey finally spoke as she played with Ethan's hair but got no response. She moved his hair back to look at his face and saw he was fast asleep. "such an angel" she whispers as she kissed his temple, closing her own eyes and falling asleep, holding his hand.

About an hour later a nurse entered the room quietly and stumbled upon the scene of Ethan asleep on Casey's chest. She poked her head out back into the corridor "pssst. Sarah. Come look at this" she whispered to a nearby nurse who walked round and poked her head into the door. "awwwww. They really are perfect for each other." She whispered with a smile before returning to work. The nurse entered and placed a gentle hand on his arm "Dr. Ramsey" she spoke quietly. "shhhh" he mumbled, and the nurse smiled to herself "Dr. Ramsey" she repeated in the same tone and both Ethan and Casey stirred, opening their eyes and looking at the nurse "Hmmm?" Casey hummed as Ethan snuggled to her chest falling back to sleep. She smiled at Casey, "could you let him know that some results he was waiting on have come back. They're urgent." Casey smiled and nodded at the nurse, who thanked her and left the room. "Ethan honey." She spoke quietly "whaaaat?" he grumbled like an annoyed teenager. "Urgent results you were waiting on have come back. They're looking for you" She continued stroking his hair as she told him. "nnnnngh. I don't wanna leave you" he further groaned as he sat up stretching, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and giving a yawn. He looked over at his 3 newborns "did we decide names?" he asked. Clearly trying to avoid having to go and get the results "Ethan." Casey warned, "Fineeeee. We'll name them when I come back. I'm going!" he exclaimed defeatedly. Casey gave him a kiss then once he was gone snuggle back down in the bed going back to sleep. Late that afternoon when Ethan had a break he came back to see Casey and brought flowers and a card, along with a bottle of her favourite water and a sandwich. He smiled as he entered and looked at his wife, as she was feeding one of the babies. "Hey" she smiled as he sat next to her in the chair, getting comfortable. "I've been thinking of a name for our little girl" he said. Casey looked at him giving him a looked that told him to continue. "Lillian Rose Ramsey" he said, and Casey choked up as she looked into his eyes "Rose?" she smiles through tears. He nods "She should carry your grandma's name in hers" he says softly, kissing a tear off her cheek. "What about the boys?" she asked. "Jacob and-" he ponders "Ethan Jr" Casey said confidently. Ethan breath seemed to leave his body as he looked at Casey with wide eyes, "I'm serious" she said. "Okay. Lillian, Jacob and Ethan Jr" he confirmed with a smile.

Casey and the triplets spent the night at the hospital and the next morning Tia and Sienna helped Casey to the atrium to meet Ethan. When they got there, the rest of their friends were there with presents and a cake. Jackie stepped forward and gave Casey a hug, which was happily returned. "You look less tired than I expected" Jackie joked as they sat down. Casey chuckled, "I feel pretty disgusting." The group talked for a while whilst they waited for Ethan, they were getting ready to call him when he walked over in his uniform, bags under his eyes that are darkest than the circles round a pandas eyes. "Holy crap you look scary" Bryce blurted without thinking before the words left his mouth, earning a slap round the head and scowl from Tia. "thank you. Lahela. I know" he said, low spirited. "Have you been at work all night?" Casey said as she stepped forward. He smiled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. "ETHAN JONAH RAMSEY!" she exclaimed "I'm absent for one night and you work yourself to this state. Why?" she placed a hand one his shoulder. "we should get you to the on-call room Dr. Ramsey" Sienna said, face full of worry. "I need to get Cas-" he started "No! you cannot drive like this! Bryce, Jackie & Elijah make sure he gets to the on-call room and take turns keeping an eye on him. I'll go and wait for him in the nearest park" she said. "I'll help you!" Tia chirped and together they made their way to the nearest park, with Casey settling on a bench next to a food and drink van before Tia bided her farewell and headed back to the hospital. Soon it was getting dark and colder so Casey called Jackie. It took a couple of rings but soonshe picked up

"hey Casey"

"Hey J. Is he up yet?"

"No. He's still out cold. Snoring rather loudly too"

"Snoring? Jackie, he never snores. I'm the noisy sleeper"

"really?"

"yes. Are his airways okay? He's not in an awkward position is he?"

"no. no.. he's okay as far as that stuff goes."

"okay. Well keep an eye on him for me."

"will do. And we've sent Bryce to come and take you home"

"Cool. Thank you. See you later"

"laters!"

Casey sighed and hung up, muttering under her breath as she waited for Bryce to arrive and take her home. About 45 minutes later, she was home and waving goodbye to Bryce as he pulled out of her driveway, settling in for her first night as a mother at home. The next morning there was a knock at the door and Casey walked to it "this is absurd. I have my key" Ethan complained as the door opened "Someone order a well-rested husband" Sienna beamed at Casey who hugged her tightly. "Thank you. So much." She sighed happily, "No problem. I can't stay though. Duty calls!" Sienna chirped happily as she ran back to her car. And with a quick wave she was gone, Casey and Ethan going back inside. Casey got back to cleaning whilst Ethan went upstairs and grabbed a shower. Later the two adjusted to parenthood together and by the end of the night they collapsed on the couch and fell asleep cuddled up, exhausted but knowing they wouldn't change this for anything in the world.

#choices stories you play #playchoices #pixelberry studios #oph f!mc #casey valentine #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey fanfiction #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #dr casey valentine #dr ethan ramsey #dr ramsey x dr valentine #ethan x casey

[lgbtyrus]

Two Exes on Mars

A Tyrus fic where they’re aged up + broken up :) It will have a ‘happily ever after’, I promise. Note: IDK if you know your Andi Mack lore, but just in case, Shadyside is in a fictional US state called Midwest.

Part 1/? (I’m thinking 3 or 4)

Words: 2,668

He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.

Why? he wondered. Why? Why? Why?

But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.

That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.

“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.

“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.

“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”

“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.

“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.

“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”

“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”

TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”

“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”

Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.

“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”

“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.

Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”

“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.

“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”

“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.

“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”

“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”

“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”

“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”

“What?” they asked in unison.

“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.” -

Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.

Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.

Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.

Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.

Cyrus: hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.

Cyrus: I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together

Cyrus: I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.

TJ: Goodnight Underdog.

Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.

At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.

-

A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.

It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.

Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.

Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.

“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”

“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked.  

“You always say no.”

“True. Anyways, what’s up?”

“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s Full House. We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”

-

“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.

“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”

“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.

“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”

“Me, too,” Cyrus said.

“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”

“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”

“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.

“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.

“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.

“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”

-

Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.

When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”

Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”

“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”

“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”

“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.

“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”

“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.

“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.

“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”

“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”

“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”

“Which are?”

“We love you.”

-

anyways follow my main @webarebares <3 thank you for reading! feel free to send asks if something was confusing or if a typo was horrible or just because. i luv u.

#shoosh star #stars writing #andi mack #tyrus #kind of lol #im just a sucker for angst and cant help writing it whenever i can

[plantfeed]

ROOM #O3 — lockdown.

location: escalus house, room three. characters: valentine, christian, theresa, cal. time: just after the lockdown. tensions: high.

               ok so this didn’t develop as much as we wanted it to bcos it was hard to find a time when everyone was able to be on and responding at once. but here’s what we have of our lockdown discord thread for room three ( theresa, valentine, christian & cal ).

THERESA.

03.02. still in her ballgown, theresa's pacing the floor. in one hand is a half-drunk bottle of wine. in the other is her phone, into which she's ringing  ( to no avail ) every other minute. "my god. you think someone would fucking answer." though the state of the others is hardly of the deepest concern. they've got their own troubles here to be worrying about. every so often her eyes scan to valentine and it feels like swallowing glass. how could christian be so stupid? after everything she'd done. and yet.... and yet. lo, the course of love never did run smooth. but this isn't love. this is something far uglier. "i don't like this situation any more than the three of you. but somehow we've got to fucking deal with it so let's at least try to be civil."

VALENTINE.

03.03. she sits on the couch in the living room in her pajamas, forever grateful that she started leaving a pair in christian's room for emergencies. it would have been even more uncomfortable for everyone involved if she had been forced to wear something that was obviously christian's. in this moment, she feels bad for theresa, not because they're all in this situation, but because she's the only one who doesn't have the full story as to what's going on here. there's another layer in all of this, and the reminder of the secret the three of them are holding makes her swallow the spit that's collecting in her mouth. "i promise, i won't be a hassle, i can just sit in christian's room until this is all over and then i'll go back to my place the moment it's done."

CHRISTIAN.

03.03. christian can't stop shaking his leg. he's on the couch next to valentine, arm around her shoulders and the rest of him almost vibrating with nervous energy. his unoccupied hand is keeping his phone open, texting and hoping for some update that will give clarity to the situation. a lockdown? here, with valentine, her ex, and tess, aka the reason the rest of them can't speak freely. not that christian thinks they really would-- come to think of it, they've never all talked outright about what happened. or about what's still happening. "don't be silly, we can all be out here together," he tries to assure valentine, keeping his voice as casual as he can, but it takes on a bitter edge when his gaze lands on cal. "i've got no problem being civil. as long as everyone else is."

CAL.

03.04. cal’s eyes remain trained on his phone, hoping for a text from georgina or any news about the attacker. but more importantly, trying to avoid having to look in either valentine’s or christian’s direction. this lockdown situation seeming to be his own personal hell. their odd love-triangle was one thing, but the secret that bound them all together was another. he figured it’d be easier to just retreat back to his room, but there was something oddly comforting and enjoyable about the tension in the room, which was so thick you could cut it with a knife. he smirks as he hears christian’s words, clearly pointed at him. “don’t look at me. someone’s been attacked, and as far as i’m concerned, the last thing i’m worried about is starting a fight over the obvious elephant in the room.”

THERESA.

03.05. despite her nature, despite everything she's ever tried to be, tess can't play the peacemaker when christian's actions have put them in such jeopardy. "he's right," she starts, a hand lifting to clamp against cal's shoulder  ; a united front against the adulterous oppressors. or perhaps a lack of love has made her cynical. "the three of us live here. your actions affect everyone. and we will discuss this tomorrow." her eyes scan towards valentine, and they're neither unfriendly nor warm. this is a woman who makes both cal and christian happy. this is a woman for whom boys would move the earth. and it stings that christian thinks he's found a love worth fighting for when all he's found is a well-dressed pretender versed in the art of stage. "but there are wider issues at play than this." in the back of her head she's aching to ring kit, for if it is lysander, then kit will be the first to know. her mouth tastes acidic as she dances between the two opposing camps. "and a house divided cannot stand."

VALENTINE.

03.06 she smiles politely at theresa’s words (however odd they may be), trying her hardest to ignore the implications of the girl’s gaze. it wasn’t her fault that she was in this position, it really wasn’t, but she had no way of explaining that to her. it was cal’s fault for losing his temper, christian’s fault for trying to take things into his own hands. she wouldn’t have involved christian if it hadn’t been necessary, and then none of them would be in this situation. but alas, life had to be difficult, and now she was stuck in an apartment with one person who didn’t like her, and two people who loved her and she wasn’t sure which was worse. “i reached out to kit,” she says, trying to change the subject. “i’ll let you all know if he replies.”

THERESA.

03.07. when her eyes meet valentine's there's the sting of something sharp beneath her skin — a mosquito bite. where has the girl who was raised by interseztional feminists gone, a girl who grew up vowing never to pit herself against another woman — to take a woman's side in every fight, no matter what. but this feels different. christian feels different. he's the one constant she's had who's never strayed from her side when the others thought her unhinged, and every time valentine's left him — spleen and liver on the asphalt — tess is the one who piece by grizzly pieces has had to tack and stitch him back together. so forgive her if there isn't any warmth when she meets valentine's eyes. "kit's fine, for now" tess responds defensively, for his name in val's mouth sounds wrong. she wants to reach in between her teeth and drag that name out, keep it safe in her own throat — but of course he's not her to shelter. and perhaps neither is christian. "he walked me back so i know he's at home. but if lysander follows him..." she thinks of the room across the hall and the three of them — kit, lysander and roman — locked in a duel that only blood will satisfy. "if lysander follows him we'll know before he does. we'll hear him on the stairs."

CHRISTIAN.

3.08 christian's eyes narrow slightly at tess, not just her words but the way she looks at valentine as though she's some kind of unwelcome parasite in their home. but then, tess hasn't been quiet about her thoughts on his relationship with valentine, ever since the very beginning. he knows it comes from a place of protectiveness, but right now, combined with cal's obnoxious energy, it's just setting him further on edge. but they're right about one thing: it's not what's really important right now. "has anyone heard from lysander at all? maybe he's still in police custody-- you know, from what happened earlier. with roman." christian's stomach twinges. now is not the time for his pity toward lysander to rear its head.

VALENTINE.

3.09 none of them would have heard from lysander, because he has no cell phone. valentine has his cell phone. it's locked in a box under her bed, in her apartment, where belinda is all alone with nothing stopping her from entering valentine's bedroom. fuck, this lockdown needed to be over quickly, or else she was done for. "i haven't heard anything," she says, pushing some hair out of her face. "i hate not knowing what's happening. what are we supposed to do? just....sit here and wait?"

CHRISTIAN.

3.10 christian sighs, looking back and forth between his various companions and wondering nervously how long they're all likely to be stuck here together. pointedly looking away from cal (reminding himself of cal's existence tends to be a surefire way of making sure christian is not relaxed, and right now, he really needs to be), he rises from his position on the couch and crosses into the kitchen area, opening a cupboard. from within it, he draws two bottles of deep red merlot, and a half-finished one of tequila imported straight from mexico. "i don't know about the rest of you, but if i'm staying here for god knows how long, i'd really like to be fucking drunk. anyone with me?"

THERESA.

3.44.  with the curtains shut, it's hard to keep track of the sun. it could have been hours... it could have been days. wine is ever the temptress, and tonight is no different. only this night she's drinking with christian, with cal, and with valentine — the cards, perchance, could have picked an easier fate — and somewhere in a tangle of limbs ( she can't remember whose ) tessa's dropped her phone and the only means of communication with anyone outside of these four walls. "i know, christian, but please can you look again," exasperated, she continues to pull up the sofa cushions to no avail.  two glasses later, she's forgot about the phone at all, bare feet trailing over cal's knee as she stretches catlike and swills her wine around her glass. "doesn't this feel like come dine with me?" she asks, rolling to her feet, her hands patting down the pockets of her dressing gown as she cracks the window. "you won, jane." her smile is muted, the kind that doesn't reach her eyes, something lighter about her, but at the same time more erratic. her movements are less controlled.(edited)

VALENTINE.

3.45. in hindsight, drinking with this group of people was probably not the best idea any of them had ever had, but when the question became whether she'd rather be in this situation drunk or sober, the answer was clear and apparent, and became even more apparent the more she drank. for a moment, she can forget about the murder and the cheating and the lying and can just exist. she's sitting on the couch, keeping a semi-respectful distance from christian ( meaning that instead of lying her head down in his lap like she wants to do, she's sitting next to him, shoulders and knees touching and her gaze on him ) when she's brought back to the reality of the situation with tessa's words. "thank you for that stunning commentary," she muses, not a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

#spectreevent #& macbeth / cal. #& othello / christian. #& lady macbeth / valentine.

[mylifeasatransferstudent]

Where to Begin?

CW: Suicidal thoughts/ contemplations/ plans, sexual abuse/ some strong language/ honestly if you’re my family you probably don’t want to read this

In order to explain where I am today—physically and mentally—I need to set up an understanding of what exactly lead me to where I am today.

When I was a freshman in high school, I was hospitalized for my mental health. I didn’t know why, but I was suicidal and spent 14? days in the hospital where I was prescribed Prozac. I was diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder, on top of my preexisting ADHD.

At the time I just said all of my mental health issues were due to the fact that I was adjusting to the new circumstances of my home life: My parents were divorced; my mom had just moved to Georgia to be with her boyfriend; my grandmother moved as well but to Central California to be with my cousins; and the cherry on top had been the fact that 9 people (only 4 of which were my kin, at least 2 were drug addicts) were now living in my childhood home, a four-bedroom and two-bathroom house. It was old (I think it was built in the 70s). We also seemed to be running an animal shelter (5 dogs and 3 cats. Two of the cats were not spayed and had litters at the same time so I think at one point we had 9 total cats). No one, myself included, seemed to care about the cleanliness of the house; however, when I was stressed and life seemed like too much to bare, I would clean which was the only time any cleaning would get done.

So yeah that seemed like a good enough reason to want to die.

 I got out of the hospital sometime after Valentine’s Day and I went back to school. I seriously can’t clearly remember anything that happened while I was on Prozac. It’s all fuzzy like a movie I watched only one time and I was drunk when I watched it. I have only one fairly clear memory from this time:

I was in my first hour class, Physical Science (which I think was my favorite class freshman year) and my teacher was talking and I could see his mouth move but I could not comprehend anything he said. It was like he was an adult in Charlie Brown. The bell rang and I couldn’t move. One of my classmates nudged me and I awoke from my daze to a puddle of drool on my notebook.

You see 14 days isn’t enough time to see how your body reacts to a new drug plus a hospital does not have the same stimuli as a classroom. I was given a drug and I could not see a doctor to alter my meds. Everyone on my insurance was not accepting new patients, but I could not take the Prozac anymore. Fuck America’s mental health care system. My dad saw how much worse off I was on the Prozac that he weened me off of it and I had to learn to cope on my own.

I failed 3 classes that year.

 Sophomore year, my home life hadn’t improved much and my eldest brother went to rehab. That took an emotional toll. Especially the “family week” which was toward the end and we set boundaries with each other and learned what the signs of relapse are. Each family member had to write a letter “When you do drugs it makes me feel like…if you continue to do drugs I will…if you steal from me…if you lie to me..” things like that to set boundaries on both sides. Now really all I knew was that my brother had sold my Zune and a few other things that were mine, so I just had to say don’t steal from me. When he read the letter he had wrote to me he looked me in the eyes and said, “You will not bring up anything I have done to you. If you do I will end the conversation then and there and walk away.”

I felt a lump form in my throat and eyes began to water. I just nodded and held back the tears. I knew I wasn’t wrong this whole time; I knew I wasn’t sick; I knew I hadn’t imagined it. He knew. He remembers. But for now that was all I got.

He was released, went into a ¾ home, relapsed, repeat. Now he’s been sober for a couple of years I think. Good for him.

 Junior year I think was the most uneventful year as far as my mental health goes. I grew closer to friends and really it was a good year.

 Senior year I took on more responsibility and was 2nd VP of JCL. My depression reared its ugly head. I was suicidal again. I had panic attacks almost daily and my dad would check me out of class, so I almost always missed my 7th hour which was Pre Cal. I was horrible at 2nd VPing and the other JCL officers decided to take action.

They wrote a letter and gave it to our Latin teacher and she read it to me. I cried and after my Latin class was over I ran into the restroom and sobbed. I thought I was going to throw up from crying so much. The bell rang for my English class to begin and I hugged the toilet. I began to calm down but even so I hated myself for being so weak I couldn’t handle any form of criticism. I thought about the scissors I had in my backpack. It would be so easy I thought. So easy and then I would have to worry about anything anymore. Weakness isn’t a problem when you’re dead. When you’re suicidal, this is the logic that your brain wants to follow, but you can’t let it. Find something to act as an anchor. People always say live for yourself, but when your self-worth is less than a penny, that seems like a dumb argument. What I wanted to live for I really didn’t know. But I knew I didn’t want to die where my best friend could be the one to find the body and her class was right across the hall. So I sent my dad a text to come get me and he did.

All of this is to say: I didn’t apply to any colleges because I didn’t know if I was going to be alive at the end of senior year.

By the way I failed 2 classes senior year. Still graduated class of 2014.

Fall of 2014 my dad and I move to Houston for his job and because I wasn’t staying at that house. Spring of 2015 I start as a Theater Major at a community college. I really didn’t know what I wanted to do but I knew I liked acting. Summer I work at a Girl Scout camp. Fall 2015 I had a problem getting registered for class, so took semester off and did a community play “Guards! Guards!” Spring 2016 I do just some basics at school and change my major to math. That summer I returned to camp then that fall go back to school and get a job at Space Center Houston. Dec 2018 I got my Associates in Mathematics.

At some point during all of this and I’m leaning more toward late ‘15 early ’16 I went to visit my grandparents. My brother was living with them. He says he needs to talk to me so we go outside.

He said he had done somethings to me a brother never should. He apologized. He said drugs aren’t an excuse for what he’s done. He said that someone had done it to him so he thought it was okay to do the same.

I was stunned into silence—just like when he was in rehab setting boundaries. Everything came flooding back. It had happened when I was still very young, I know I was somewhere between 10 because I hadn’t started my period yet and that was at 11 and he was still in school (he was a dropout). He performed oral sex on me and made me reciprocate. I had no idea what was happening but I knew it was wrong. I think it may have happened more than once, but I know that this set a foundation for my anxiety and my inability to say no or speak up to defend myself. I was petrified when I told one of his friends what he had done to me and he asked me to do the same for him. Then he went bragging to my brother about it and my brother started to fight him and yell racial slurs saying he never wanted to see him around our house again and that was my fault. They had a falling out because of me.

My parents said that any girl who does exactly what she’s asked in a sexual context, who doesn’t put up a fight, has no respect for herself. If you don’t respect yourself no one else would either. My parents didn’t respect me then, and if I told them, I knew they would blame me for having no self-respect. So I ignored it. Pretended like it never happened. I convinced myself that I had made it up. I was sick and disgusting for imagining these things. For years, even after rehab, I thought it was all in my head. He was always my favorite brother. I always wanted to do what he did. He played baseball, I signed up for T-ball; he joined swim team, so did I; he was a goalie, I became one too. And I kept up that illusion.

To this day I have only had a less than five minute conversation with him about what he did and that was his “apology” which was just another one of his 12-steps. I feel like it wasn’t even real.

 So here we are now 2019. September 6th is my three year anniversary at Space Center Houston. And I have transferred to a 4-year school to get my bachelor’s in Geology. I have moved to Shreveport. 

From here on out this blog is going to be about what I think of as I’m getting use to living on my own in a city that I’m only vaguely familiar with as a new transfer student who is nearly 24 years old.  

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 317: Heavenly Fire

This was another absolutely fantastic episode! Apart from a couple of episodes 3B has been incredible. Some very emotional moments, a few action scenes with a new team up and we finally find out what is happening at the Clave. We meet Helen Blackthorn in this episode and also witness her meeting Aline; I’m excited to see their future interactions. Alec is nervously excited about his proposal, Clary discovers a truth about her childhood and Izzy takes down an old foe.

From the first moment we see Alec in this episode it is abundantly clear his is very nervous about proposing to Magnus, he is buttoning and unbuttoning his shirt because he wants to look perfect. Magnus is looking for apartments but he is sat on what has been established as Alec’s side of the bed, I love this because it implies (again) that they sleep cuddled together and that after Alec gets up Magnus moves into Alec’s space for warmth. I absolutely love seeing domestic moments like this.

Magnus notices how distracted Alec is, but Alec deflects and instead talks about being happy that Magnus is back to his old self or at least healthy. Alec is just so happy that Magnus’ life is no longer in danger that he has put the emotional side of Magnus’ suffering to the back of his mind for now, which is understandable given his mind being on proposing. He is not dismissing that there will be lasting effects of what Magnus has been through or thinking that he is fixed now, I think that he is just concentrating on Magnus’ physical health and he is excited about proposing.

Magnus is definitely not of the same mind set because he tells Alec to not get carried away and subtly raises his eyes brows doubtfully. Magnus knows that he isn’t feeling like himself and that this way of life is going to take a lot of getting used to, if ever. For Magnus nothing has really changed, he still feels depressed and he doesn’t know how to deal with everything that has happened; but he can see how happy Alec is right now after his near death experience so is putting up a brave face for him.

I love how Alec stalls when Magnus asks what the occasion for a special dinner is, and their exchange of how lucky they are to have each other. Magnus loves Alec and he appreciates Alec’s support, he views himself as lucky to have Alec love him. Alec is so in love with Magnus, he never thought he would have this and to have a man as wonderful as Magnus, he knows that he couldn’t be luckier.

Alec is looking at the family ring in the next scene, you can see how much sentimentality this ring has and how important it is to the Lightwood family; I think that Magnus would not only love the ring but would wholly appreciate the meaning behind it. I did tear up a bit when I realised that the two runes on the ring are strength and trust; not only to symbolise the people in the relationship but also the relationship itself.

Jonathan will only talk to Clary but even then he is being very evasive about his intentions with the Morningstar sword and instead is using this opportunity to try to invoke emotions in Clary in order to strengthen their bond and endear her to him.

In a flash back we find out that Jonathan didn’t know of Clary’s existence until 205 when she banished the demon from Iris’ house; it explains how obsessed with her he is because he has only known about her for a couple of months. So he is consumed with wanting to know her and he is desperate for love so he’s clinging to her with everything he has, the fact that it’s so fresh just strengthens that.

We also see just how emotionally manipulative Lilith was towards him, constantly reminding him that his father abandoned him and that his sibling would do the same. Lilith and Jonathan are very similar in this regard; they both want the person they love to love them the most, to have them to themselves.

Alec arrives in the weapons room saying that he is very busy and I want to squeal because we know that he is planning his proposal dinner, to see just how much effort he is putting into it is wonderful.

I am always in awe of Simon, he is so self sacrificing and is willing to put himself in unknown danger for the people he loves. I also love seeing Izzy and Simon teaming up, I really enjoy their friendship and I am excited to see it develop into a romantic relationship.

When Simon realises that Raphael is in the cell with him you can see his concern raise because now it’s not just himself but there is Raphael to worry about. Although Raphael has done some horrible things he is still important to both Magnus and Izzy, plus he was the one who returned Simon to Clary after Camille killed him and even though he was a pain about Simon dealing with Camille he did help Simon adjust to his new life.

Despite everything that has happened they both still care what happens to each other, Simon is clearly worried to see Raphael there and Raphael pulls Simon away from the door because he knows what is happening, trying to protect him.

I smiled so much when we hear Alec on the phone ordering roses for his dinner with Magnus, every time we see him you can see how much thought he is putting into the proposal and that it is pretty much all he can think about. Compared to him proposing to Lidia out of duty it is so heart warming to see him planning a proposal to someone he is in love with.

I like the little moment between Alec and Jace, I think that Alec needed to hear those reassurances to help settle his nerves a little and to know that his Parabatai is supporting him in this too. Plus Jace isn’t questioning his decision he just accepts it and is happy for him, he knows how much Alec loves Magnus and trusts Alec to know what is right for their relationship. Jace is just so happy that Alec has found this happiness and will support him completely.

In another flashback we see an even younger Jonathan being afraid of Lilith and begging her not to burn him, you can see how terrifying his time in Edom must have been; especially as a child. When she tells him about the sword you can see how desperate he is for someone to save him, although we know about what he did as a child (killing a werewolf and another child, Valentine wrote it in his journals) he is still a child who has been abandoned.

Again we see Lilith emotionally and physically abusing him, reinforcing that she is the only person who loves him while inflicting pain; this is probably to make him remember her words even more by associating it with physical pain.  It is horrifying to see the reality of what he lived through, for what 10 years? Anyone would have lasting trauma and issues.

I think that we all collectively thought ‘not this bitch again’ when we found out that it was Aldertree who transferred Raphael; we presume this is because of Raphael’s relationship with Izzy and Aldertree being spiteful.

My heart hurts a little when Simon is trying to protect Raphael from being taken but Raphael easily accepts his fate, you can see how much he has turned back to his faith to find redemption for what he has done. He is ready to accept any and all consequences for his actions.

Izzy looking absolutely gorgeous turns up for dinner with Aldertree, she is using his affection for her in order to gain any information she can and we learn that since leaving their Institute Aldertree has only gained more power within the Clave.

He says he regrets enabling her addiction and I really want to hurl something at the screen in an attempt to hurt the piece of trash. He didn’t just enable her, he was the one who introduced her to Yin Fen in the first place, he is the reason she developed an addiction and he knows that perfectly well. He is seriously so despicable; he definitely comes a very close second to Lorenzo in ‘character I hate the most’.

I am in awe of Izzy for holding her composure and not calling him out, she holds off her anger because she needs to keep him distracted; I would not have blamed her at all for punching him right there in the middle of the dining hall.

My heart is breaking when we learn that Clary used to have nightmares about a Prince in a burning tower, she has multiple drawings of this nightmare in various skill levels so it is clear that she was having this dreams from a young age and for a long time. To find out that these were visions of her brother, that they were happening and that she was seeing his reality is devastating.

She feels guilty for not being able to save him, she feels that she was supposed to have saved him and that it is her fault that he lived there for so long. She believes that if she had saved him he might be a different person, he could have been her brother and he might not have done all these terrible things. You can see the internal conflict she is having with her hate of what he has done and her reluctant care for her brother; also realising that the suffering boy she dreamt about is the man she helped imprison.

You can really see the beginning of her becoming more compassionate towards Jonathan, she has always been conflicted because they are siblings but to be faced with the reality of what he lived through she can see why he has become so twisted. She wants to believe that there is more in him than darkness.

Jace says that she couldn’t have changed him because it was too late but I don’t know if that is true. We know that he has had very skewed morals form the beginning, partly Valentine, partly his mixed blood and later partly because of Lilith; we cannot blame how he is on the demon blood because there is a whole community of people with demon blood and the majority of them are good. So to say that it would have been impossible to help and change him seems too black and white; if Jonathan had spent less time with Lilith and had experienced healthy love from Clary (and possibly Jocelyn) he may not have become so violent and they could have helped him be better.

I’m not saying that he could have become perfect if he hadn’t of lived with Lilith, but I think it is narrow sighted to believe that he is completely evil and that some love and understanding couldn’t have changed him for the better.

We can see three examples of the difference that nurture has; Clary who is a Morgenstern but was raise by Jocelyn and Luke, she has a good moral compass and is well adjusted; Jace who was raised partially by Valentine and the Lightwoods, he is a good person but you can see the pieces of darkness in the ideals of Valentine’s that he hung onto (answering yes and no when asked if he believed in Valentine’s quest to destroy the Downworld); and Jonathan who was raised by Valentine and then Lilith, he has a skewed moral compass and no comprehension of the line between platonic and romantic love.

To say that Jonathan is who he is purely because of how he was born is completely ignorant to the environments that he grew up in; if Clary or Jace had experienced what Jonathan had then they would be different people too.

Also, Jace holds nothing but contempt for Jonathan and although I completely understand why I think that it is a mistake for him to not try to understand Clary’s feelings and see where she is coming from. You can see that she is starting to question how she sees Jonathan and how she feels about him, and having Jace constantly adamant about how evil he is, is only going to drive her towards him faster. Clary is more likely to go to Jonathan’s side more quickly if she believes that no one is even trying to understand her view, at the end of the day he is her brother and it is completely understandable that she is conflicted about her feelings towards him.

I love Magnus’ outfit; that gorgeous red shirt and the collar pin are beautiful, plus he’s wearing that awesome belt again (from 2x18 and 3x14). It breaks my heart when he finds the grey hair because it’s physical proof that he can and is ageing now, it is a physical manifestation of his mortality. You can see the full realisation wash over him and you know that it is going to cause him to spiral which is completely understandable; he hasn’t been able to process losing his magic yet so to be faced with proof of his mortality is a huge blow.

I am so happy for Raphael because he seems absolutely ecstatic that he is human again, however Iris feels very differently saying they stole her ‘very soul’. I like that we got both ends of the spectrum here; for some, most likely vampires and warlocks who are infected, becoming human again could be a gift and something they want; but for others, most likely warlocks and seelies who were born with demon blood, it is taking away a huge part of who they are and their identity.

We learn that Aldertree plans to release the serum into the New York water supply to ‘cure’ all Downworlders without their consent; this is absolutely shocking because while I am glad that my theory about them turning Downworlders into mundanes was true I did not imagine that they would be willing to use it on civilians against their will.

Iris remarks that she would rather have a quick death then live 50 years without magic, I like this because we are getting perspective from another warlock of just how important magic is and how big a part of them it is; they feel completely lost without. It helps us understand Magnus a bit more and shows that it isn’t just his reaction to the situation but magic really is that pivotal to all warlocks.

I also like that Raphael understands her view point, even though he is happy and it is a good thing for him he understands that for her it is a gross violation. I like this because if Raphael and Magnus interact while Magnus is still mundane then it shows that Raphael is going to be compassionate and is not going to try to convince Magnus that it is a good thing. I really hope we get some Magnus and Raphael scenes soon because they are family and it is a little ridiculous that with all they have been through that we haven’t seen them support each other.

Helen has learned about Aldertree’s plans from Izzy and is completely distraught that she has been helping him; she thought she was doing a good thing by rehabilitating prisoners but now she knows she was furthering an agenda that would have wiped out one side of her heritage. She asks them to help her stop him, she cannot allow him to turn Downworlders against their will; and I love the team up that happens. I love Helen, Simon and Raphael being complete badasses taking down the guards.

I absolutely love Raphael’s line ‘I may have lost my strength but I’ll never lose my will to fight’; I think that it is quite empowering because I know that a lot of people, including myself sometimes, don’t feel like they have the strength to deal with things but that doesn’t mean they lose the will to fight.

Helen gives Simon the vials of the serum that are in the lab, the only vials left after the explosion, she wants him to use them to really help someone; she doesn’t want what she has done to all be for bad. She wants something positive to come out of the horror Aldertree created.

It is clear that Aldertree is completely blinded by his own personal experiences; he believes that not only would Shadowhunters thank him for eradicating the Downworld but that the Downworlders would thank him too. He is so immersed in his opinion that demon blood is a poison that he doesn’t see how wrong it is to change someone without their consent; he doesn’t see that what he is planning to do is the same as deruning a Shadowhunter.

I was cheering when Izzy punched and took him down; I think I can say that we have all been waiting for someone to take him down pretty much since we met him and I am glad that it was Izzy.

I really liked Helen and Aline’s first meeting, it was tentative curiosity and maybe a bit of mutual attraction. You can see that they both admire the other and I am very excited to see how they will continue to interact and begin to develop a relationship.

Simon took 6 vials of serum back to the Institute; now, Izzy has to use at least one to test it, then one or two to break the twinning rune, that leaves at least three other vials. I think that Luke may willingly take the serum to become mundane. We saw in one of the trailers that his eyes and veins were glowing like those who have had the serum; maybe he takes it so to escape from the Praetor because he is part of their organisation out of necessity not choice.

Maybe Simon uses one? Although he is a Daylighter now he never wanted to be a vampire and this is his chance to reverse that (plus I know that in the books he does become a Shadowhunter right?). I’m not sure but there are three more vials up for grabs.

Izzy says that Aldertree will be prosecuted and I hope that we get confirmation of that and how severe it was. Plus, Raphael and the other new mundanes may have their sentences changed as compensation for what was done to them; so hopefully we will be seeing Raphael sooner rather than later (crossing my fingers for a Magnus and Raphael scene, maybe Magnus will be the one to greet him coming back from the Gard?).

Alec leaves to prepare for his dinner with Magnus and I love the little knowing look he shares with Jace who is sending him silent support and encouragement. I really like Izzy’s confused look because she knows that something is going on and doesn’t like being left out of the loop (I wonder if she will find out what Alec was planning to do considering it actually didn’t happen).

I love that Jace pats Simon on the shoulder as he and Clary leave to see Jonathan; with the antagonistic relationship they have it is great to see Jace actually give some positive gesture to Simon in appreciation for what he did. I really wanted to see a friendship grow between them but the bickering is fun too.

I really like the Sizzy scene because you can see that they are starting to see each other in a different light; the most important thing to both of them is the welfare of those they care about. To see Simon risk everything has really opened Izzy’s eyes, not that she didn’t appreciate him before but this has started to change how she views him. I think that they would have a great romantic relationship because they have a wonderful friendship as a foundation, they have very similar values and they have a strong bond of trust. I am excited.

Jonathan is devastated to learn that they may have found a way to break the twinning rune; he holds so much reverence for it because it connects him to Clary in such a deep way that he cannot fathom losing that. You can see Clary struggling with his show of emotion and her own conflict too.

Jace talks about everything Jonathan has done which hardens Clary’s resolve to disconnect them, it’s almost like Jonathan exists as two people inside her head; the one who killed many Shadowhunters, hurt Max and kidnapped her; and the one who she saw burning in her dreams and yearns for her love. She keeps swinging between the two and is finding it difficult to gel those views into one person.

Luke’s acting in this scene is amazing, to see Jonathan completely lose hope and break down; my heart hurt at his words of Lilith being right and begging Clary not to leave him. In that moment you could really see the boy who was abandoned by his parents and was reaching out for the love of his sister.

Oh my god. Okay. The end scene. It absolutely destroyed me.

I started tearing up seeing how much effort Alec has put into this dinner; the fairy lights, the roses, he dressed up and my heart swells to see that he has the ring sat on a plate full of rose petals. It is amazing to see how much thought he has put into this for someone he loves with his entire heart compared to Season 1 when he proposed out of duty.

Not only is Magnus late but he is drunk too, I knew this wasn’t going to go well but my heart starts hurting immediately. I hurt for Magnus who is clearly not coping with losing his magic and for Alec who has put all this effort into a perfect proposal.

Magnus once again expresses how useless he feels without his magic, all his life he has been able to help people but now he is struggling to find a purpose and feels unable to be helpful because he cannot do all the things he used to be able to, especially when it comes to those he cares about. When he talks about Alec’s position it isn’t because he is jealous, he is lashing out because he is drunk and upset; plus he is pointing out why Alec cannot understand what he feels right now because of the differences in their positions of power.

My heart breaks when Magnus says ‘I’m mundane now like you always wanted’, he knows that Alec would never force him to become mortal just because he wants them to grow  old together but he is hurting and when you’re hurting you tend to hurt those you love so that they can understand a fraction of what you are feeling. I’m not saying it is right but it is understandable.

Alec is definitely taken aback by Magnus’ behaviour, he has never seen Magnus like this before; drunk, angry and lashing out. It is a shock to him to see Magnus this way and to be on the receiving end of it. Also he has gone a complete turnaround emotionally which isn’t helping, he went from happy, nervous and excited to concerned and upset.

It also shocks him to hear Magnus say that he isn’t happy; he knew that magic was important but to so blatantly hear that Magnus isn’t happy is a blow because Alec himself was feeling so happy. As I said earlier, Alec’s relief over Magnus’ physically health and excitement about proposing kinda eclipsed everything else including thinking about Magnus’ mental state. I am not trying to criticise him, I completely understand why he got so swept up in his elation; it was a failing in both of them, Alec for not asking about how Magnus’ is coping, and Magnus for not telling Alec that he is struggling. But neither of them are to blame or are in the wrong here.

Magnus continues to break my heart when he pleads with Alec, he knows that how he feels could last a lifetime and he cannot bear to be made to feel like it will pass; he cannot bear to have it dismissed as a phase. He needs Alec to understand and acknowledge the severity and possible longevity of his depression. I think this was an incredibly important moment as a viewer because it really shows how people who suffer with depression feel, they don’t know how long this feeling will last and people telling them it’s a phase makes them feel worse.

I cannot express how much the last moments hurt, Magnus doesn’t want to break down in front of Alec because even now he struggles being vulnerable in front of him, especially now when he feels so completely estranged from himself and so low. He doesn’t want Alec to see the worst of him.

Alec begs Magnus to let him be there for him, he wants to help him but he knows that he can’t and failing that he wants Magnus to be able to be vulnerable with him, to be able to break down and show him all these emotions that he is feeling. He doesn’t want Magnus to hide how much he is suffering and is determined to show Magnus that he is there for him no matter what and there is no part of him that Alec doesn’t love.

The way Magnus’ voice breaks absolutely shatters my heart, I am sobbing as he clings to Alec and starts crying. You can see how much he needs to let these feelings out and he needs Alec’s support he just didn’t want to ask for it because he is so used to being independent and being the one to help others, he still finds it incredibly difficult to ask for help even from Alec.

I think this is the moment that Alec truly understands the severity and magnitude of Magnus’ suffering, to have such a strong person completely break down is a shock and you see him reeling from it. This is going to be a turning point for Alec because he now knows how deep  Magnus’ depression is and he’s going to do anything he can to help him.

Are you ok after that? Nope, me neither. *sobs*

Okay, so, this was an amazing episode; I know that I didn’t talk about some scenes but sometimes they are so self explanatory that there really is nothing for me to say, that doesn’t mean that I didn’t like and enjoy them (as you know I am not afraid of saying when I don’t like something).

I really liked seeing a deeper insight into Jonathan’s past; I loved the Helen, Simon and Raphael team up; I am excited to see more of Helen; Sizzy is beginning; Clary is really starting to show conflict about Jonathan; and Malec absolutely shattered my heart, again.

Next episode Asmodeus is up to something, Halloween is afoot and Clary looks to be joining her brother.

Now, as for what we saw in the promo for 318 I am very scared about the Asmodeus and Alec interaction because there are so many ways it could go and the Edom angst could come about;

1.       Alec accepts the deal and breaks up with Magnus.

2.       He asks for a different deal, and who knows what he would offer or Asmodeus would ask for because we know that Alec would sacrifice anything for Magnus.

3.       He could refuse and walk away.

Plus there’s Lilith to think about, she said she was returning to Edom with Cain but we don’t know for sure that, that is what she did. I think that she may be on Earth somewhere because why would she willingly return to Edom where Asmodeus has her under his thumb and Jonathan can easily find her? I think that she may be involved in the Edom angst because of her situation with Asmodeus and she knows it was caused by him taking Magnus’ powers.

1.       She could take Magnus to use as a bargaining chip.

2.       She could offer Magnus a deal, help her and he gets his magic back.

3.       She could offer Alec a deal.

I just have a gut feeling that Lilith will be involved. The whole situation is made more terrifying because there are multiple possible ways it could happen.  

#Shadowhunters Review #Heavenly Fire #Shadowhunters #SH 317 Review #SH3x17 #Shadowhunters 317 #SH 3x17 Review #SH317 #SH 316 #SH 3x17 #Shadowhunters 3x17 #I know #the next episode has alread aired #again #I haven't watched it #i always watch it on netflix tuesday nights

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

23 things on 'The Office' you've never noticed before

The Office is truly the show that keeps on giving.

Though the NBC comedy has been off the air since 2013, the discussion surrounding it is still very much alive. To this day, fans keep finding new, hilarious Easter eggs in the show.

The more than 750,000 diehards who come together on r/DunderMifflin to chat about the program are experts at pointing out the hidden details they pick up mid-rewatch. 

We've compiled 23 of the best. Find out how well you really know your stuff.

SEE ALSO: The 65 absolute best moments from 'The Office'

1. David Wallace *also* has a world's best boss mug

If you thought Michael Scott was the sole best boss in the world, you're wrong! At least according to the desk mugs ...

Turns out David Wallace, chief financial officer of Dunder Mifflin, has a World's Best Boss mug on his desk, too. It's visible in the Season 2 episode, "Valentine's Day." It's black and has a more obnoxious font than Michael's. It's unclear whether David Wallace bought his own mug.

Will the real World's Best Boss please stand up? Oh look, it's Michael!

Image: the office/netflix

2. Michael uses his own brand of salad dressing

In the second episode of Season 4, Michael and Jan are chatting about ageism in his office while eating salads. Everything seems normal until you look closely: The salad dressing on the table is Michael Scott's own personal brand, "Great Scott."

Great Scott!

Image: the office/netflix

The jar is adorned with a homemade label featuring Michael's face and a bowl of salad. Thanks to a deleted scene from the previous episode, "Fun Run," we know all about it. 

"What do I look like to you, Paul Newman? That's actually not a good example, because I have been compared to a young Paul Newman, my eyes and my face. And I make my own salad dressing," Michael says in the deleted scene, which starts around 4:10. "I mix Newman's Ranch with Newman's Italian. Sell it at flea markets for a slight loss. I could make ... I could make a profit if I changed one of the ingredients to Wishbone, but I won't do it."

3. That Dunder Mifflin Newsletter was trolling us

In Season 1, Episode 4, viewers get a glimpse of an old Dunder Mifflin Employee Newsletter. The Easter egg lies within the text.

In a classic move, the people writing the words didn't take the time to crank out a full article. Rather, they wrote a bit of sensical information followed by absolutely anything.

"A lot of useless information"

Image: the office/netflix

"Welcome to yet another exciting edition of the Dunder Mifflin Employee Newsletter," the article begins quite reasonably. But by the second paragraph, things get meta.

"As anybody can easily tell, this newsletter doesn't really have a lot to say. It's really just a prop to fill some space and sort of look like a newsletter without really being much of a newsletter at all ... In fact, at times we can probably get away with not using real English words, such as kjgavbiwiwpo..."

This isn't even the only time The Office writers did this. Now you know!

4. Jim signs Meredith's pelvis cast "John Krasinski"

Remember when Michael hit Meredith with his car and she had to get a cast on her pelvis? John Krasinski does! Because in Season 4, Episode 3, he signed it ... as himself, not his character Jim Halpert! Whoops.

Hmm ...

Image: the office/netflix

5. Stanley's resolution was, um, telling

In "Gossip," the first episode of Season 6, Dunder Mifflin Scranton learns Stanley's been cheating on his wife, Teri, with some woman named Cynthia. In Season 7, Episode 13, it's crystal clear that hasn't changed. Stanley's resolution card literally says, "To be a better husband and boyfriend." Boy, have you lost your damn mind?

To be fair, everyone's resolutions are a lot.

Image: the office/netflix

6. Oscar's drinkin' prop wine

Oscar was so excited to drink the wine in Season 8, Episode 12, no one realized the prop label was still on the bottom of the bottle. If you pause the episode you can clearly see a piece of tape with the word "Oscar" on that bottle of, um, Chateau Galmon?

"I am Bacchus, God of wine!"

Image: the office/netflix

7. Michael keeps his broken plasma on the wall for a while

Michael and Jan broke up after all hell broke lose in the Season 4 episode, "Dinner Party," but he held onto a key reminder of his ex well into Season 5.

In "Dream Team," Pam visits Michael's place to start the Michael Scott Paper Company, and his pride and joy — the mini plasma TV Jan shattered by throwing a Dundie Award at it — is still mounted on the wall. The most hilarious part of the situation? Michael clearly got a new television, which he placed directly under the broken flatscreen, neglecting to trash the old one. 

Could it be he wasn't ready to let go — or that Jan mounted it on the wall and he had no idea how to take it down? We may never know.

Two TVs ...

Image: the office/netflix

8. He then attempts to sell the broken plasma

Finally, in "Garage Sale," Episode 19, of Season 7, Michael is finally ready to part with his tiny broken plasma. But rather than throw it out, he attempts to SELL IT at the warehouse garage sale. Come on, dude.

Nope.

Image: the office/netflix

9. Return of the clown art

Speaking of that warehouse garage sale, another familiar object was for being sold: That creepy clown painting that used to be stuck to the walls of Jim and Pam's house (aka, Jim's parent's old house). Wonder how they finally got it off the wall ...

No one will buy that clown painting.

Image: the office/netflix

10. Bob Vance was possibly a marketing genius

Any fan of The Office knows that Phyllis' husband, Bob Vance (of Vance Refrigeration), loves to plug his business whenever he gets the chance. 

But one theory considers the idea that Bob Vance wasn't simply trying to market Vance Refrigeration to Dunder Mifflin employees — instead, perhaps he was constantly repeating his company name for the cameras filming the Dunder Mifflin documentary in hopes that if the footage ever aired it'd be free advertising. Genius.

11. Michael ate tiramisu from the trash

This one's kind of a long story, but in Season 5, Episode 10, Jim gives Pam a piece of tiramisu as a peace offering after going out to lunch with Michael.

Pam rejects the offering and throws the tiramisu away, but in a later scene we see Michael eating a piece of tiramisu at his desk. Though some speculate Michael also brought tiramisu back from the restaurant, he's seen walking into the office alongside from Jim empty-handed and even claps at a joke.

Michael later takes a shot at Pam, scolding her for throwing away "perfectly good tiramisu" just because it has a hair on it, so all signs point to him digging Pam's dessert out of the trash.

12. This extremely deep paper clip find

In Season 5, Episode 1, Michael introduces Pam to the office's replacement receptionist, Ronnie, via video chat, explaining that Ronnie is unable to find "those little colored paper clips" he likes so much.

Somehow, an Easter egg mastermind discovered that Jim and Pam's license plate, CHD-0032, is the model number for those clips Michael likes. (If you Google the plate number, they come up.) 

13. Jim's title in Stamford was "Assistant Regional Manager"

Dwight spent season after season begging for the title "Assistant Regional Manager" instead of "Assistant to the Regional Manager," and all Jim had to do to get it was transfer to the Stamford branch. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In Season 3, Episode 6, Jim falls asleep at his desk, and we get a peek at that nameplate, baby!

The real deal

Image: the office/netflix

14. Creed's fake name is the actor's real name

In Season 4, Episode 4, Creed Bratton — the character on The Office played by actor Creed Bratton — explained that whenever he gets into financial trouble, he transfers his debt to a man named "William Charles Schneider." Turns out William Charles Schneider is actor Creed's real name, and there's a good chance that's his real passport.

15. Michael's wallet looks like a '90s DIY project

Does Michael Gary Scott carry around a bedazzled wallet? That's absolutely what it looks like...

16. Jim wears a wig in Season 3

John Krasinski's received some feedback on Jim's floppy hair over the years, but if things looked a little off in Season 3, it wasn't his fault.

Krasinski had to cut his hair short for his role in the film Leatherheads, which gave him no choice but to wear a wig during the last six episodes of The Office's third season. Krasinski further explains his hair challenges in this interview starting at around 2:15.

Wig Tuna

Image: the office/netflix

17. St. Patrick's Day celebrations were lit

Season 6, Episode 19 is dedicated to St. Patrick's Day, and the office really goes all out. For example, did you notice Michael has an Italian flag on his desk instead of an Irish one, or that they dyed the water in the community water cooler green? LOL.

The closest the Irish get to Christmas

Image: the office/netflix

Image: the office/netflix

18. Andy's Call of Duty username is extremely Andy

Viewers get a glimpse of Andy playing Call of Duty in Season 3, Episode 5 of the show. If you look closely you'll see his username is a very fitting "Here Comes Treble" — named after his college a cappella group, who we later hear about in the Season 9 episode, "Here Comes Treble."

Image: the office/netflix

19. Creed possibly has a mugshot hanging at his desk

Does Creed casually have his mugshot hanging above his desk? Honestly, we wouldn't put it past him.

20. Jim's last name is misspelled on his wedding sign

Congrats to Pam Beesly and Jim HalpRET on their wedding. Was this a typo or an intentional joke? We can't keep track anymore.

Hmm...

Image: the office/netflix

21. Wait, who is that?

You know when TV shows like actors so much they bring them back to play other roles in the future? How about when they replace a character with a different actor and expect viewers not to notice or to be totally fine with it? The Office is guilty of doing both of those things.

Image: the office/netflix

Dwight's nephew in the show's final season was also an extra in Season 7's "WUPHF.com" episode. Elizabeth, the stripper hired throughout the course of the show, appeared in the "Ben Franklin," "Fun Run," and "Finale" episodes, yet not everyone seemed to remember her. Andy's parents and Pam's mom were recast throughout the series. And Dwight hired Devon, the employee Michael fired in Season 2, back in the finale.

22. John Krasinski shot the opening Scranton footage

This one's less of a "did you notice?" and more of a "did you know?" but John Krasinski, the man you know and love as Jim Halpert, is semi-responsible for the iconic Office intro. According to TV Guide, Krasinski shot scenes from the opening credits sequence while on a research trip.

23. There's a nod to the UK version of the show

What would the U.S. version of The Office be without a reference to the UK version of the series? 

The address of Dunder Mifflin's Scranton office is 1725 Slough Avenue, Scranton, PA, which is special because there's a town in the UK called Slough, where the UK version of the show just so happens to take place. 

Image: screengrab/google maps

And that's not all. When you search in the Scranton branch's address in Google maps it shows Pennsylvania Paper & Supply Company, the building that's featured in the intro footage, and Poor Richards Pub, the Dunder Mifflin employees' go-to place for Happy Hour.

So there you have it, fans. The writers, cast members, and show runners of your favorite comedy were even more clever than you realized. Now it's time to re-watch the show and see if you can spot any other hidden treasures.

WATCH: What is the cast of ‘The Office’ doing now?

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[holdyourbreathuntilyouseelight]

Camouflage

Summary: After waking up in the middle of the night after his reconciliation with Magnus, Alec contemplates where to go from here.

Rating: T

Genre/Tags: Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Healthy Communication, Good Parabatai Jace Herondale

Author: dylanobrienstyler

A/N: Title derived from the Selena Gomez song of the same name. Post 2x20. Found this from shortly after the season ended in my drabble - I don't think we'll be getting anything like it in the new season but who knows! Figured I'd post in case anyone else is as desperate for healthy communication between fictional characters as I am.

Can also be read on AO3.

Alec woke suddenly, the disorientation from coming out of deep slumber making it hard for his brain to catch up to his body's actions. His hand had slipped under the bed to pull out his spare seraph blade and his heart was pounding in his chest. He stumbled to his feet, glaring into the darkness as if waiting for an attack.

His eyes burned from the sudden forced opening, and he scrunched them shut as he shook his head to clear the fuzziness.

The automatic response of a soldier was to prepare for attack when his body was having such a visceral reaction, but now that he was breathing evenly, he caught on that the panic running through his veins did not belong to him.

Magnus hadn't stirred yet, Alec's swift movements also graceful in nature so they didn't jostle him, and he slipped out of the room just as quietly in an attempt to keep it that way. He knew Magnus had drained a lot of magical energy earlier, and he wanted him to get the rest he deserved.

Taking a deep breath, trying not to let his anxiety overwhelm him, Alec speed-dialed Jace's number once he located his phone. He knew now who the emotional outburst belonged to.

Jace answered after a couple rings, and Alec let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Hey."

"Hey." Alec replied, hovering awkwardly in the main living area of the loft, not really sure what he wanted to do with himself. "Everything okay? I felt… Well, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Jace said, but it was missing its usual confidence, and Alec frowned.

"Jace… You may be able to hide what's going on from everyone else, but not from me. Please talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

He heard Jace exhale through his nose, but he didn't sound irritated. Just like he was gathering his strength.

"Look, it's not… it's not a big deal, okay? I just had a weird sort of… panic attack, I guess."

"Is this because of what happened at Lake Lyn?" Alec asked, making sure to keep his voice low so as not stir his sleeping boyfriend.

"I… Yes."

Alec felt a surge of relief mixed with defeat stem from their parabatai rune, and Alec knew this was about to be a much bigger conversation. Needing the cool air to clear his head, Alec stepped out onto the balcony. The rain catapulting from the clouds made the moisture stick to his skin and it helped calm his nerves.

"I know something more happened there. But I didn't want to press you in front of everyone else. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jace was quiet on the other end for the moment. "Just… don't blame her, okay? She… she was acting out of grief. She doesn't know enough about our world to know the consequences that might follow such a powerful thing…"

Clary. Although a constant pain in his side at times, he had grown to care for the redheaded girl, despite his better judgment. She had shown some outstanding strength and fit into the Shadowhunter role very quickly for someone who had grown up entirely mundane, and she became very important to the people he too cared for so it was inevitable that she be welcomed into his restrictive inner circle.

"What did she do?"

"When Valentine raised the Angel, he didn't get a chance to grant his wish. So Clary wished for me to come back to life."

The silence lingered between them, stretching on as Alec absorbed the impact of his confession.

"By the Angel." Alec breathed out, rubbing a hand over his furrowed brow. He knew he had felt Jace die. He felt the part of his soul coiled around the part of Jace's snap and die off in time with his brother. He saw the rune disappear from his skin. He lost the anchor that was the other Shadowhunter to his soul. He had had a part of Jace as a part of him for half of his life—the emptiness of being the sole inhabitant of his body was a crushing weight and he had felt it instantly.

Alec pushed aside his own feelings from earlier in the day, the utter despair he felt losing his parabatai, and focused on the living, breathing one he had on the phone.

"What's happening to you now?"

"I don't know. It's like…" He paused, searching for words to explain something indescribable. "It feels like there's something in my body trying to get out. Or take over. I don't know. I don't know how to even figure out what it is. I don't know anyone else who has come back from the dead and didn't end up demonic or worse."

Alec closed his eyes, leaning onto the railing with his forearms. "We'll figure this out, Jace. I promise. I'm not losing you again."

"I'm sorry. I can only imagine how you felt."

Alec shook his head, despite Jace not being able to see him. "It doesn't matter now. You're alive. We can handle everything else, together."

A calmness swept through his veins, and Alec smiled as he realized he had said the right thing. The relief and freedom from guilt made it clear that Jace had been itching to tell someone about everything, and that their conversation had been good for both of them.

"Thanks, Alec. I should let you go. Aren't you at Magnus'?"

Alec's brows came together. "How did you know?"

When he had asked Magnus to talk at the Hunter's Moon during the celebration party, he hadn't been sure how the conversation would go, so he hadn't told anyone where he was going since it may have been a quick exchange. But he was pleasantly surprised to find Magnus on the same page as him, eager to move forward and be better, as a couple again.

"I can feel you too, remember? You're always more relaxed when you're with him. That's why when you don't come to the Institute to sleep or when you're missing at any point, I don't worry. You feel more... at home when you're with him."

The corner of Alec's lips turned upwards. Magnus' place was home, but even more so was the man himself.

"But I don't think things in paradise are back to how they were yet. You've felt more jittery than usual the past few hours, and that's not like you. Ever."

Alec licked his lips, mulling over how to explain his feelings when he wasn't good at confronting them let alone confessing them. But with Jace, it was a little easier. Especially since he couldn't exactly hide much from him.

Long-time adolescent crush notwithstanding.

"I… I'm afraid I'm going to screw things up again." Alec admitted. "I'm just hyperaware of every move I make, everything I say… And all I can think is that the clock is just counting down until I ruin everything. Again."

He was glad Jace couldn't see him. The rain wasn't the only thing wetting his cheeks now, and he hated his tear ducts for betraying him. At least he had managed to keep his voice steady, even if Jace could probably feel the squeezing pain of his fear.

"Alec…" Jace's voice was gentle now. "You and Magnus love each other. You're meant to be together. And not everything is your fault—you had some difficult choices to make and so did he. What matters is that you choose each other now, and that you talk to each other. You shouldn't be bottling this anxiety—you should be telling him about it. Maybe he feels the same way."

"Well that's impossible to know with him since he's always trying to play it cool."

He meant for his voice to sound more irritated than it did.

Jace chuckled, clearly noting the affection in his voice. "Alec, talk to Magnus. Tell him how you're feeling. You know I'm not one for feelings and especially talking about them at length, but look, you two have something special. And if you and me talking right now proves anything, it's that sometimes it really does help getting everything out in the open, even if the unknown still hangs in the balance."

"You're right." Alec sighed.

"When am I not?"

Jace sounded much more like himself now at least, and Alec rolled his eyes. "I also hate you."

"Sure, sure. Tell that to my parabatai rune."

"Now I'm thinking I should've picked Izzy."

Jace laughed, a sound Alec hadn't realized until then that he hadn't heard in a while. "Go. Talk to your man. And you know I'm here for you when you need it."

"Right back at you. G'night."

"Night."

The call ended and Alec slipped his phone into the waistband of his pajama pants.

He let the damp wind roll over him, eyes closed as he let the familiar sounds of the city soothe his overactive brain.

"Alexander?"

Alec turned around quickly to find Magnus hovering in the doorway, eyes watching him carefully.

He wondered how long he had been there.

"Hey. I hope I didn't wake you."

"You didn't. Is everything okay?"

Alec opened his mouth to say one thing but closed it as he realized he should be saying the opposite. Jace's advice nagged him, and he wondered how to approach the topic.

Magnus joined him on the terrace and reached out for his hand. Alec immediately intertwined their fingers, feeling himself calm instantly at his touch.

It was easy to forget everything when Magnus was nearby, but he knew he had to grow up and push through the awkwardness to get them to the place he wanted them to be. He didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore.

"Something's troubling you. Please tell me what I can do." Magnus told him, his free hand pushing back Alec's damp hair.

Alec exhaled. "Well, I woke up because Jace had some sort of weird panic attack. I just wanted to make sure he was okay. He's fine—it was just residual from everything that happened earlier."

Magnus nodded, but Alec pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Sorry. No. That's not entirely true." He sighed. "Jace told me that Clary was granted a wish from Raziel, and that it was to bring Jace back to life. And now he's having weird side effects; the consequences of such a powerful force touching him I guess."

Magnus' eyes were round. "Wow."

Alec nodded, but his eyes found the balcony floor, his strength wavering.

Magnus' hand stroking his cheek forced his gaze back to his boyfriend, and Alec found Magnus watching him warily.

"You know, when I said we shouldn't have secrets, I didn't mean you had to tell me everyone else's too. I'm glad you told me about Jace, it explains a lot and affects the future, but I don't want you to feel like I've trapped you in some sort of secret-bearing contract."

Alec looked away. He knew he needed to speak up, but he didn't know how to do so without messing things up or coming off the wrong way. Words had never been his strong suit. "Honestly, Magnus, I… I don't know how to act around you anymore. I'm so afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing, or do something stupid, and I'm going to upset you or even lose you all together all over again…"

It was his voice that betrayed him this time, trembling as he rambled on, and Magnus cupped his face in his hands, shushing him.

"Is this why you've been so quiet all night? I just assumed the day had wiped us both out."

Alec reached a hand up to cover one of Magnus' gently. "Look, I meant what I said tonight. I don't think I can live without you. And I have had to try recently, and it hurt. It hurt more than I knew it was possible to hurt. And I can't do it again. I nearly lost Jace today, a part of me, and Max nearly died after Jonathan's attack and if I was to lose you from my life… or try to go back to the way things have been since we've been apart…"

Magnus wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling Alec into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry for the way I treated you in our time apart. I had to put up so many walls to keep myself in check around you. I spent all of my energy when we were near each other trying to hold myself together, trying to act indifferent and cold and whatever it took to keep you at arm's length. If you came too close, if you were too soft with me… I know I would've broken. I'm sorry that hurting you to force you to be distant with me was the only way I could handle being near you. It wasn't fair. I know why you made the choices you did, but I still felt like I came second when I've always put you first."

Alec nodded, nuzzling his face into Magnus' shoulder. "I know. I know I hurt you, and I understand why you felt so betrayed. It ate at me constantly, keeping it from you, even if it wasn't for long. I tried to think like a leader, tried to put the Shadow World ahead of my own personal investments, but it wasn't fair of me either. You deserved to know. And I trust you. I just… as High Warlock of Brooklyn, I didn't want to put you in a position where you had to choose between your people and me. And, well, clearly that's what ended up happening regardless."

Magnus sighed as they pulled apart. "Well, it's clear we have some things we need to work on, both separately and together. Trust is important. And communication. But with that comes trusting that I'm still going to love you even if you do make a mistake or say the wrong thing."

Alec smiled, lips upturned just a little. "That goes both ways. Even though we both know I'm the usual culprit."

Magnus kissed him chastely. "I'm not perfect, Alexander."

Alec lit up at that, mischievous smile gracing his face. "I don't know…" he sing-songed, letting his eyes run the length of his boyfriend. "I beg to differ."

Magnus chuckled at the compliment, thinking he was clearly a bad influence on the Shadowhunter, and he wrapped his arms around Alec's waist. "What do you say we go to bed? After some sleep, I'm feeling a lot more energized..."

"Hmm… I think I can have you eating your words soon." Alec teased, brushing his lips along Magnus' neck and up behind his ear. As expected, Magnus shivered and pulled him closer.

"Well, look who's not playing fair…"

"Who said anything about fair?"

Magnus dragged him back to their bedroom, happy to make up for lost time.

And when Jace fell asleep later that night, he couldn't help but be eased into happier dreams, his parabatai rune emitting the soft, warm feeling of finally being home.

#malec #malec fanfiction #alec lightwood #magnus bane #shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #good parabatai jace #post sh 2x20 #romance #angst #hurt/comfort

[ralfstrashcan]

3x09 Reaction / Commentary

I loved that Opening Scene, it was appropriately dramatic and the music fit perfectly..... but I wouldn't be me if I didn't have some questions.

1) Why is Clary's braid so on fleek? Because those jailers were totally ripping at her hair and didn't seem to care if the result looked good.

2) Don't think I missed the obvious way the jailers where avoiding her runes while washing her skin, lol. They probably would have come off if scrubbed with a scrubber.

3) Did Clary come too late to that public mass execution, like some naughty school kid?? Because everyone else was there already. Did they start without her? lol

4) Why do they get to wear those fancy red robes when they are burned to death literally five minutes after? Isn't that a total waste? Also, those robes aren't uni sized, they are perfectly tailored. Who made them?? No wonder they can only hold those trial day thingies once a month, they're probably busy preparing clothes the rest of the month.... or do they have those robes at the ready for every Shadowhunter, like, at the same time that you get your Rune Ceremony they prepare a High Treason Execution Robe in case they have to off you at some point??

5) What would they have done if his corpse fell down the stairs instead of artfully to the side?

6) Seriously, can we take a moment to appreciate how truly savage Shadowhunters are. Because it's kinda shocking and very fitting.

Okay but since when does super duper ultra dead mean turning into salt? Did I miss something?

Oh my they actually address that in the book! I'm impressed... not least because of that fancy-ass bookmark. Where can I buy that?

Also is this supposed to imply that Cain was a Dayligher, as in a Vampire? I'd say I need answers, but I really don't.

Considering Simon's whiplash-y behavior this Season it's probably a toss up what he'll anwer.

Btw Simon's reaction to Kyle offering to get him blood is exactly the reason why I thought it would be counterproductive if he stayed on Simon's case and why it should consequentally be his decision if he wants Kyle to stay: He was honestly gonna walk through town in starved state? Reckless much? And all because he doesn't want to accept Kyle's help.

I mean, I totally approve of Izzy's cleavage, but why does her Angelic Rune keep wandering upwards? That's a little unsettling and bothers me, I'll be honest.

For a second there I was confused because why would Magnus need his own permission.. then I remembered. And honestly, I cheered, because I kinda missed Lorenzo and his slick hairdo and I've been excited to see him again since I caught a glance of him

in the Season Finale Promo.

Man, if it's dark already does that mean they've been at it with the executions all day?? What even. How many traiters do they have on a monthly basis?? Kinda disconcerting if you ask me.

OMG IRIS!! What a pleasant surprise!! I honestly thought we'd never see her again and up until this very second I didn't even care. But now I'm really happy she's there! Absence does make the heart grow fonder, it seems :) ................also does that mean that since 2x08 less than a month passed?? Because they hold them monthly and incinerate everyone who's there? I'm confused.

Wtf Jia, what even. I was starting to like you, and then you go and abuse your power like that. So uncool. And if Iris's execution was moved up does that mean it's been more than a month since 2x08?? Such confusion.

Okay, honestly I wasn't that surprised that Heidi was in the bag, but she was clearly conscious when Jace took her out and that begs the question why she was so inactive while in the bag. Shouldn't it be super easy for her to rip the bag apart since she's a Vampire??

Okay but isn't blabbing that out in front of Silent Brothers and other prisoners totally indiscreet? Like, Jia moved Iris's execution up partly so she couldn't spill, right? (Or just because she was angry Iris didn't do her bidding? I mean if Iris is gonna die anyway that's not really a good punishment, is it?) What if the Silent Brother says “Yo, no, no creepy ressurection necromancy magic on my watch”? What even is the hierarchy between the Clave and the Silent Bros?

LOVE the fact that Valentine is chained to the cot even though he's still dead.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat I don't understand. Does she mean “I'm more powerful than the angel” or “I want Valentine back alive”??

So I guess Luke doesn't have a pack anymore? Well, this was a long time coming. Considering that he even challenged the previous alpha back in 1x05 to save Clary it is consistent that he puts Clary first. And honestly, it's understandable on a personal level because he's been looking out for Clary for 18 years now and before 1x06 he was kind of the underdog of the pack (pun not intended). Still, he's once again slinking his alpha-duties. For the last time now, I guess????? Tho how will a new alpha acquire alpha powers? I thought you get them through killing the previous alpha????

The way he spat out that glob gave me serious chills. Awesome.

Okay but why do they have security cams in the morgue, what the hell man. Then again they have several security cams per dorm back at the NY Institute, too, so there's that. I guess the only mercy was that they didn't have security cams in Val's grave too, lol.

YASS I love Negotiation!Alec, please three Seasons of this verbal sparring and covert threats, oh hell yeah I'm a goner.

Simon using Luke's steak trick from can't-find-x-the-episode warms my heart, I'll admit that.

OMG THE FACT THAT LILITH GAVE HER A MAKE OVER

Dude, Heidi really has no mercy putting that tape on their hair, like it hurts just watching this.

Also, why did Lilith stint on Heidi's make-up?? Rude.

My heart breaks so much for Jonathan right now, maybe now he'll stop being a daddy's boy and give Lilith a chance to demonstrate her parenting skills??

O M GGGGG WHAT AwEsOmE I'M DEAD

Clary, smartly manipulating Valentine into doing what she wants from him, I like.

Pretentious Quill, I approve.

I have sooooooo many questions about that list.

1) Why are there so many (as good as) dead people on it? Ragnor won't be any help from the grave, I'm assuming Elias is the same Elias who was killed off in 1x04, and Iris is currently residing in a death cell (and even if she wasn't, why would Magnus even ask her for help after he extradited her to the Clave? She probably wouldn't help him even if she could.) And god knows where Dot's at at the moment.

2) Why are Cat and Ragnor so low on that list, like seriously?! Also, why would Magnus write their full names, I mean surely he'd use abbreviations?? Or at least leave out their last names, c'mon.

3) Those weren't instructions, those were two lines and the one you could read was “I need your help!”

4) Also, I can hardly believe the person who wrote the list in a super elaborate and twirly hand is the same person that wrote those notes, and even if I assume for a moment that Magnus wrote both.... why the hell would he put so much effort into the list and scribble the pleas for help? Shouldn't it be the other way around??

5) Why did he cross Dot off the list when the note he just sent was clearly addressed to Elias?! Who is still dead!?!

.......it seems the stress is getting to you, Magnus.

(Also, mass texts would have been much faster. Just sayin'. Dramatic warlocks, refusing to use smartphones and hindering swift communication.)

Putting the kid under your care first, I dig that. And I dig Magnus recognizing this for what it is and not acting as if Cat is deserting him, because she isn't.

WHAAAA ARE LORENZO AND MAGNUS GONNA FIGHT SIGN ME THE F UP

Izzy hating on Kyle is kinda rude because faulting him for not protecting Simon, okayyyy, if needs must (even though Kyle's job is actually to protect people from Simon, not the other way around, but whatever...) but blaming him for Heidi's escape? What? He wasn't even at the Praetor Facility?! That's totally not his job?? Seriously?

Capable Elaine, oooohhh I dig that a lot!! Why is everyone so capable in this Episode, it's awesome!!

When I saw that red fletching on the arrow I was sooo convinced that the guard is really Alec, why else would his face be obscured?!?!?! But sadly I was mistaken.

Clear Case of “Spirits that I've cited my commands ignore” hahaha awesome.

Seriously, they were so active just moments ago, why are they staring now and not acting?! :( I mean, strike while you have the chance.

I'm wondering if that's a very subtle allusion to Lorenzo's Warlock Mark.

OKAY IT PROBABLY IS?!?!?! Oh man, those Warlocks. Insulting each other's Marks. Now I'm just thinking of

Also, say what you want about Lorenzo

but he's damn smooth. I love that in an antagonist.

Yeah, I don't want to say Lorenzo is right, but he kinda is. Magnus's impulsiveness is the number one source for most of his bad decisions. It's one of the things I love so much about his character. Even though he's centuries old he's never quite settled down into tranquility. He's like a stormy sea, unpredictable and wild.

Soooo I totally loved their fight scene. I enjoyed it way more than the one with Iris in 2x08 because a) I can't forgive that terrible cut with the broken bookshelf and b) Iris was intent to flee, so even though the magic ball throwing was nice it wasn't a close ranged fight.

There were some details in this fight that I really loved

1) Lorenzo stealing Magnus's magic and using it against him.

That's a fascinating thing because does that mean magic is just energy that can be hijacked by anyone capable? Doesn't it have a personal touch, like 'my' magic would never hurt 'me'? So many questions

2) This

I totally love it because it makes so much sense, like a warlock is a magical person, they're not just magical hands. Of course it's probably easiest to channel magic through the hands, but just because it's easiest doesn't mean it's the only possibility. And honestly, Magnus would totally be the kind of person to learn channeling magic through different parts of his body because it's super cool and can totally come in handy (yeah dumb pun totally intended). The only problem I have is.... if Magnus didn't pick up this skill very recently, why was he ever overpowered by someone grabbing his hands (1x13, 2x10)? Because that irked me then, and now even more because now I know it was really bull? I can kinda forgive it because this is now and the other stuff was earlier and I don't expect show writers to know what they'll write in one or two seasons but a) shouldn't you be aware of what your character can do, like, does he have a certain skill y/n regardless of whether he uses it on-screen or not and b) I really hope this skill Magnus apparently has isn't forgotten and there won't be a situation where he could use it to gain an advantage and just... doesn't.

The Oh-shit-what-did-I-just-do-Face.

First I was really confused why Lorenzo was running for the hills because Magnus just screwed up and could easily be brought before Warlock Justice or whatever they have for insubordinate subordinates, but then I realized... he's probably scared of Magnus, and a coward.

FunFact: I tried getting a pic of his retreating back but he just kinda...

awkward-slides out of the frame.

I can really credit that Simon was trying to get Heidi to lash out, like wow, even he is capable this episode, I'm so happy.

Oooh Luke on his way to his suicide mission be capable.

NINJA STARS SIGN ME THE F UP I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!

That Silent Bro could have put up more of a fight. Aren’t they supposed to be super badass?

The best plan would actually be to kill them all and bring them back with the Necromancy Rune... then again, we only ever see Clary use her new runes, so that kinda begs the question if she's the only one able to use them. That doesn't really make sense to me, but it's the only reason I can think of why literally nobody besides her uses them. Especially that Portal Rune is hella fine, so yeah. But it's never really addressed, so this is just speculation on my part.

I love that it's so relatable and wonderfully acted why Magnus changes his mind. I mean, not even half a day ago when talking to Cat he said he'd never go to his father, but this change of heart doesn't seem whimsical because this scene greatly conveys his feelings that lead to this decision.

I love the Simon&Izzy friendship (and would wish for it to remain just a friendship).

So I guess that's the explanation where all of Val's Circle Members disappeared to. I feel a little cheated out of this fight. And this could have been avoided if they had done the kill-Necromancy-Rune-thing. Also, if they could have managed to get just one stele from one of the guards they could have freed Iris and compelled her to open a portal for them. I mean, sure, she didn't want to resurrect Valentine, so she probably wouldn't want to help him escape but a) Jia probably didn't offer her her freedom in return for her services and b) with the prospect of seeing Madzie again I could imagine Iris seizing the chance, thinking she can trick Valentine and escape alone. I would have loved to see something like this, especially because it isn't really resolved here if Iris is still alive. Until I see proof of the contrary I'll assume she's alive and I really hope to see more of her because she's an interesting character.

Also, those are the same lamps as in that other Clave building thing, so they probably had one interior designer for the whole of Idris? Lol?

Yeah, Val, it's no wonder the door doesn't open if you try to unlock it with a Foresight Rune. This seems to run in the family tho, because in 3x05 Jace does the exact same thing.... except that his rune works. Lol, fail Valentine.

Yeah, on that note..... did she succeed? Is Jia still alive to conveniently pardon Clary at some point in the future?

First I wanted to yell at her because she could easily create a portal, she'd just have to nick a stele from one of the bodies.... and then I realized......... she was tricking Valentine. And I was stunned. Even Clary behaving capable, like, is it Christmas?????? Sure feels like it!!!!!!!!!!

......shall I start calling you Garret Jacob Hobbs? Because I will.

I love that. It fits the fanatical streak of this character perfectly. I read a really, really great post about this once, it is here and you should definitely check it out. I don't agree with everything, but there are some really interesting aspects in there.

So I'm a li'l confused because Val was still obviously breathing and I'm not sure if that is because Alan van Sprang couldn't hold his breath or because he's not really dead lol.

.......then a rib is the way to go, I guess. Seriously, why not just say bone or something?

WHAT A DAMN GREAT CLIFFIE

Bonus:

It seems blood starvation gives Vampires really weird Hannibal-esque visions.....?

(Playground Insults Pic is from here, Magnus and Lorenzo’s fight gifs are from here)

#shadowhunters #3x09 #clary fray #alec lightwood #magnus bane #lorenzo rey #isabelle lightwood #jace wayland #simon lewis #heidi #elaine lewis #kyle #valentine morgenstern #jia penhallow #catarina loss #iris rouse #reaction

[greatell]

My thoughts on today’s GH:

1. I totally thought Mike was gonna ask Francesca out on a date lol. I thought maybe he thought he was young again.

2. It was so sweet of Mike to try and set Michael up with Francesca. Hopefully we get some scenes between the 2 son cause it looks like she’s won over some of his family.

3. Really Julian, “it’s a lot to ask”? I’m sorry but didn’t you hold a knife to Alexis throat and try to murder her? She could ask you to strip naked in the town square and shave all the hair off your body and that still wouldn’t be too much for her ask bc of the hell you put her through.

4. Yep it sure was fast. Julian literally left Alexis place after she rejected him and went straight to Kim to convince her he only wanted her.

5. Screw that Dr. Shaw and the surgeon who can’t muster up simple small talk or asking Kiki for anything. Unless you’re sexually harassing her or any other person, no reason to treat kiki or anyone else reporting harassment like a leopard

6. Liz continues to be a great supporter of Kiki’s.

7. Thank you Liesel for breaking up the gross kissing scene between Finn and Anna. And lol at her telling them to take their tongues out of each other’s throats and let the people eat in peace. You da real MVP

8. That assistant lady or whoever she is needs to be fired for letting Valentin smooth talk her into letting him into Nina’s office. Maybe Nina didn’t tell her? Idk.

9. Why does Nina believe peter? Even if he was going to leave the flash drive, what about the months he held on to it as Drew and other searched for it??

10. Uh yeah I’m sure you could’ve worked on your communication with Alexis but I think the whole blackmailing and holding a knife to her throat were some of your guys bigger issues.

11. Julian continues to be a selfish a** hat. This is all about him not wanting to talk about what he did to Alexis. This isn’t about it damaging his relationship with Alexis or starting things up again or hurting Kim. This is purely selfish move by Julian who can’t bear to listen to how badly he screwed up.

12. I normally find sonny walking around all cocky annoying but when it comes to messing with Julian, I could watch it all day

13. Anna didn’t even have a response to Liesel saying she’s to blame for Nathan death. Her only deflection was to use Nathan as a weapon against Liesel to try to manipulate her

14. I knew Liesel would run her mouth too much and let Anna know she had her son in someway.

15. Sonny continues to waste the few precious moments he has left with mike by trying to manipulate mike into telling him what he did with the body in Croton

16. Oh cry me a river Julian. It’s your own fault you can’t be apart of your grandchild life. But don’t worry, I’m sure if brad and Lucas kid needs anything medical from you, you can use his or her life as a bargaining chip to get you some grandpa time like you did with Danny.

17. I don’t like Julian but I might go through my tv and punch him bc he’s likely going to ruin brad and Lucas adoption

18. Francesca likely one of bensch’s victims. Hope she comes forward but at least in the mean time she gave kiki some much needed words of encouragement.

19. Valentin with a noticeable long pause after Finn told him that he was dating Anna👀

20. Finn going to Valentin to mark his territory was...odd. I don’t like Valentin but Finn threatening to kill him for her just seemed like too much

21. Nina is so stupid in this storyline it’s frustrating. Why did she ever think Liesel was gonna hand peter over to the authorities?? He could easily turn around and say they kidnapped and tortured him and then they go to jail. Not to mention Liesel isn’t someone to let the law take its course so what did Nina expect? Nina is too gullible in this storyline.

22. I get brad is use to being the town pariah but he’s not anymore and really needs to stop hanging around with the likes of Julian and Nelle.

23. Lol at Liesel pettiness. Eating that burger in front of peter was hilarious

24. Valentin reminding Nina of Morocco is not the smartest idea bc didn’t that only happen because of his lying to her..?

25. I love that when Francesca came forward Kiki’s first reaction was to grab her hand. I love all these subtle but powerful signs of physical support people like Alexis, Liz, lulu, and now Kiki have given each other

26. I really don’t get Kim and Julian. Both clearly want to be with other people, both love another and yet they both get jealous of the other one showing any interest in someone else...? Julian basically marked his territory over Kim whenever Drew is around. And now Kim doesn’t want him going to therapy with Alexis despite her loving Drew???

27. Did sonny kill the original Charlie and that’s the body he buried in Croton?

28. We see DA Dawson! Wish it was with drew, seems like she runs into sonny.

#general hospital #gh spoilers #gh #drew cain #margaux dawson #sonny corinthos #mike corbin #francesca cavallo #michael corinthos #julian jerome #kim nero #alexis davis #valentin cassadine #nina reeves #liesel obrecht #peter august #lulu falconeri #elizabeth webber #kiki jerome #anna devane #hamilton finn

[chihxru]

Stargazer 💫

First of all, happy Valentine’s Day, Haikyuu!! community!! This is a TsukkiYama fiction, it was actually inspired by @melonorcaart so hey thank you and your creativity and your idea and everything over all and ekdndkjd! ❤️

Shall we see the stars?

Stargazer:

stargazer

noun star·gaz·er \ -ˌgā-zər \

1 : one or more individuals who gaze at the stars; for either academia, or simply to dream and become.

He was tired.

This week had been completely awful, consisting of continuous hard training, but giving an unsuccessful jump float serve in his first game was the cherry on top of everything. To make matters worse, his team lost, in a third set…

Tadashi knew he wanted to throw in the towel, because he felt like he wasn’t enough compared to his colleagues on the boys volleyball team. He was upset, and completely overwhelmed with his emotions. Squeezing the jersey into the form of a ball and throwing his jersey across the room, he sat on his bed and had replayed where he went wrong.

‘Did they say it was okay because they were pitying me? Were they really just saying that? What about Tsukki? He must be really mad…” the poor middle blocker’s mind was about to explode with him eventually screaming along with salty tears flowing into his pillow, but what had stopped him from doing so, was to see the bright blue moon, looking down at him.

Looking back up, for what seemed like a while, Tadashi got back up from his bed, deciding to grab his phone, and exited his domain, wandering outside.

Walking to the nearby park, he decided to lie on the cool grass, looking up at the night’s sky, seeing what it’d have to offer.

One star, two stars, four, ten, over one hundred thousand…

Damn, he wondered just how many there really were. It was quite beautiful, and he thought he even saw the Little and Big Dipper. Tadashi has loosened up quite a lot and all of his troubles of the week left his mind, that “annoying” jump float… the stars sparkled in his brown orbs, and the wind hummed through his ears… eventually, he had visions and wished of accomplishing his first game, not letting any one of his teammates feel awful, or the managers, advisor, and coach feeling like complete crap.

‘One day’, he thought, and he reached his hand out to the stars.

A ring came from his iPhone 6, and he picked up.

“Tsukki?”

“Yamaguchi. You okay? You seemed kind of quiet after the game… I mean it’s not something that’s unlike you but…”

“I-I’m okay, thank you, Tsukki…”

“No. You’re not.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong.

“Where are you?” Tsukishima questioned.

“I’m at the park by school…”

“Wait there.”

And with that, the rather tall first year hung up the phone. “Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asked into the phone, only followed by a familiar sound meaning that he had hung up. With a sigh, Yamaguchi couldn’t do much rather than to oblige with Tsukishima, and wait on the cold grass.

Whilst he waited for what seemed like fifty hours, Tadashi looked up at the stars again, he started noticing the stars in certain constellations. “Huh … Capricornus.” He looked over at the constellation shaped like a little boat. Looking over to his north east, he noticed another constellation looking like a big pot.

“There’s the Little Dipper.” He heard a stern voice.

“Tsukki? Hey… you know, you didn’t have to come.” Yamaguchi stated but the tall friend unintentionally insisted on staying… bringing barbecue pork buns and a Bluetooth speaker.

“You can have some if you’d like.” Tsukishima brought the bag to his friend while he sat down beside the freckled starboy. “Thank you, Tsukki.” Tsukishima simply nodded before Yamaguchi smiled softly. He took a pork bun and nibbled on it. With that, Yamaguchi held the savoury treat in his mouth while he took his phone and set it on for the Bluetooth, and Tsukishima connected.

They both listened to the music while they ate in silence, once finished they’d lie down and look at the stars. Little Dipper, Capricornus, Sirius… many more appeared. But that didn’t bring down the suspense and anxiety that Yamaguchi had before Tsukishima brought up why he was feeling this way.

As they finished their small meal, Tsukishima finally broke the silence. “So what is it, Yamaguchi?” He cleared his throat and stayed silent before he answered.

“I screwed up… and I made everything fall apart at the game and I know everyone knows it’s my fault…” Yamaguchi looked to his left to avoid looking “pathetic” in front of his best friend.

“You know damn well that you didn’t screw up. If anything you did your best. I feel bad for the rest of the team cause they all sucked monkey dick. But if you supposedly want to get better, then train harder, but with purpose. Look,” the boys looked at each other dead in the eye. “I know you are a strong player, Tadashi, and I know that you thought this was just a fun little game between people. You have to remember that this is competitive, and I know you are a badass at it nonetheless. So don’t let some dumb point let you feel shitty.”

Tadashi was ecstatic. He couldn’t process the kind words that were spewing out of Kei’s mouth… well, not that kind but he gets it. A smear of red came across Tadashi’s cheeks when Kei finished.

“If anything, I blame Nishinoya, Hinata and Kageyama for being dumbasses and not being quick enough. Where the hell was that, “rolling thunder” or whatever, when we needed it? Actually wait, no, Nishinoya still would’ve cost us the game. And it was a dumb move of Kageyama to pass to Hinata because everyone knows that they would pass to each other, why not make a pass to Asahi or Tanaka for once? Or even the captain? My god, this team is shit!” He didn’t know how but Yamaguchi nearly choked on air and water from that nasty comment. “What the hell, Tsukki?!” Yamaguchi burst out laughing afterwards. Tsukishima smiles and blushes to himself whilst coming upon a thought aloud. “There’s that wonderful smile of yours, Yamaguchi…”

“What?” He looked at Tsukishima, even more flushed.

“That smile. I hardly see it anymore ever since you joined.” That smile slowly faded away when realization hit Yamaguchi. “You’re right, I’m so sorry…”

A tumble later, Tsukishima was on top of him, holding him down.

“Just shut up.” Kei said sternly with a small blush

“Huh?! Tsu—!” Yamaguchi, clearly confused and flustered to a point where his ears even became pink. He was about to protest, but alas…

Aside from the music, silence filled the air, because two pairs of soft lips were sealed together.

A few more slow and sweet kisses came from the two of them, and had made Yamaguchi’s anxiety and stress lower and lower, by each touch of the lips shared by Tsukishima. He was confused, but at the same time, he didn’t want it to end. They both never wanted it to end. Maybe it was the serenade of his tongue slightly caressing Tadashi’s lips.

Or maybe it was the barbecue flavour…

Tsukishima broke the seal as he lifted himself up for air, as he finally spoke. “Just shut up, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Tadashi nodded slowly, but as he ached for more of Kei’s affection, Kei returned to lie on his back again.

“Feeling better, Tadashi?”

“Yeah, thank you so much, Tsukki...” Tadashi smiled faintly and blushed again while he touched his burning cheeks, before they both looked back up at the stars.

“So tell me, which one looks like my freckles, Tsukki?”

“All of them, because they’re really pretty. Like you.”

“Damn, best Casanova award goes to Kei Tsukishima for being a huge sap!” Loud clapping came shortly after from Yamaguchi followed by a punch of the arm, and an “yelp.”

Maybe this should be a little ritual.

#haikyuu!! #tsukkiyama #happy valentine's day #lol fuq #fanfic

[grahamfinch1990]

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#How To Save A Relationship After Lying And Cheating Blindsiding Tricks #Can I Save My Marriage On My

[ratherembarrassing]

Who do you think is responsible for the censorship of sanvers, the writers or the CW? I'm inclined to believe it's the latter. I feel like this is probably standard practice for various networks with "family" shows, but I'm seeing a lot of anger directed towards the writers specifically, and I don't know if it is the most productive thing. Not that the writers shouldn't be criticized for other things.

society?

[this got very long]

that’s not a very satisfying answer, i know. but i think it’s right to say there is something going on that’s presenting as visibly different, i just don’t think it’s a consequence of someone at the network or involved in the production saying they can’t show this or that.

the cw, for all its faults, has shown queer relationships in far more graphic scenarios than the two m/f relationships got this week on supergirl.

i think the tone of the show and the timeslot might dictate the difference between f/f relationships on other shows and supergirl, or as between f/m on other shows and on supergirl, but not between m/f and f/f within the same show. see, for example: the loo and legends of tomorrow, both at 9pm.

sara lance’s fingerbanging adventures through time and space on legends of tomorrow also eliminate production company mandate. sara actually seems to get most of, maybe even all of, the action over there.

good for her!

so then what are the people at supergirl doing? there’s going to be subconscious and conscious choices made every step of the way in making a show, but we can start with what they’ve said and done.

what we do know is that chyler has said in interviews that her concern in taking this on was that it be “very respectful and tasteful and being done with sensitivity.”[x] we also know, and i wish i could find the link, that chyler and/or floriana vetoed some sleepwear wardrobe had sourced for a scene in favour of something more toned down. this was a while ago, so it could have been in relation to anything–there’s been a lot of bedroom attire for them, but it was more likely in relation to that first scene than alex’s valentine’s day outfit. maybe not, but either way, it’s clearly something they’re actively thinking about on that level of detail.

i think their goal is not to objectify or fetishize women or their sexuality, which is admirable, and is pretty consistent with the show’s handling of kara in relationships both last season and this season. we never saw kara in bed in that episode, we never even saw her in a state of undress.

but it does mean the same standards should apply. there are four scenes from the episode that allow pretty direct comparison, and i think it’s worth poking each of them:

morning afters:

kara and mon-el’s morning after scene is entirely unambiguous. he was naked in her bed, he wondered if “it” was that good/bad, kara said she had a really nice time (impliedly the night before), later he says people threw parades when people “got together”. no one once says they had sex.

alex and maggie’s morning after scene is… tbh, no less lacking in ambiguity. maggie isn’t in the bed, but it’s there and it’s a mess, she’s wearing alex’s clothes, alex says maggie slept there both to maggie herself and to kara, they were heading back to bed at the end of the scene, alex asks if everybody can tell. tell what, that someone slept in her house?

i know there are headcanons and whatnot about how maggie literally only slept over, and that’s the fun of making things up in the space of implication, but that space is very small in both scenarios here and you could do the same with kara and mon-el, too. the problem is the grand history of queerbaiting. we as a community are right to be skeptical when things aren’t explicit, but there needs to be room for the fact that not all narrative comes from characters stating out loud what has clearly just taken place.

to get into some nerdy semiotic reading here, these scenes are actually a really great example of how the receiver of a sign brings a huge amount of context to the table that the sender really has no way to fully account for.

fandom brings the baggage of all the ships we’ve been teased with before, to every single scene.

the casual straight viewer pretty much just brings their history of watching straight couples do exactly the same thing on tv.

this is something i often think fandom gets very wrong in its demands for equal treatment, because there needs to be acknowledgement that we are watching for very different things when we watch through this lens.

the straight casual viewer probably had no trouble seeing that scene and going “lol those two had some A+ sex last night,” and we’re over here going, “but they didn’t say so”.

i don’t think there’s any real difference between these two scenes besides the one of wardrobe i mentioned above.

arrivals at the party:

outright: these two are different as hell.

but i think it’s narratively driven, and i might as well speak more generally here because i think this is applicable to basically all of maggie and alex’s interactions:

there’s a difference between private and public displays of affection with these two.

publically since they’ve been together they’ve been:

at the DEO where alex is upset as hell and then basically dumps maggie;

at the prison in a professional setting;

at the DEO talking to kara where they start off like half a foot apart and maggie inches closer and closer until she’s leaning against alex;

at the alien bar where maggie drags alex off by the hand (this is really hard to see since we stay on kara) 

at the alien bar when alex introduces maggie as her girlfriend and leans into her the second that’s done;

at the DEO in a professional context; and

at jeremiah’s welcome home party, which i’ll get to.

privately is a very different story:

make-up scene where they hug;

pre-bare naked ladies concert, there’s a brief kiss;

the pre-valentine’s day conversation;

the valentine’s day fight :(;

the prom

alex’s apartment after jeremiah is exposed ;___;.

plot twist: they’re actually failing in the private scenes.

first of all, alex and maggie have never kissed in front of anyone.

maggie’s arrival at the party is pretty consistent with the way alex behaved at the alien bar when she was introducing maggie to everyone. alex wasn’t just revealing she was dating someone, she was coming out to her father, and she was acting weird. maggie reacts to that weirdness. it’s a physical element of the scene.

it’s not fair to expect the same things from these two mirrored moments because they’re not supposed to be the same, and the thing that makes the two moments so damn uncomfortable sitting side by side is because that discomfort is supposed to be there.

the cutaway scenes at the party:

this is where i started to to make faces at my tv screen. mostly because mon-el is gross and handsy as hell, but if you’re going to let your male partner act like that and not actually have it be framed as gross behaviour, then just let the lesbians lean all over each other, too.

the last scenes:

we were robbed of forehead kisses, but i was kind of distracted by alex’s sobbing.

the main thing i get out of that is that you can justify the hell out of why alex and maggie’s scene are often as choked as they are, and that’s a problem. consciously or subconsciously, they’re overthinking it. they’ve taken on so much of what society does to women, does to queer people, to queer women, and they’re drowning in it.

they’ve been so damn careful with alex’s coming out that it is making a difference to how they behave. yes, it makes sense for them to be restrained in public. alex wasn’t out, not all spaces are safe spaces, not all spaces are appropriate spaces. yes, it makes sense for alex to be an awkward turtle about it. she’s only just come out and some of those scenes were explicitly about her coming out. but if they’re not going to contrast that with private scenes, then all that’s left with this restrained and awkward behaviour. they’ve never kissed in front of anyone.

i think they’re trying, but i don’t think they’re there yet. i hope they get there by the end of the season.

finally, and i think this is the both of the crux of fandom’s issue and the one that i’m going to have an enraging answer for you, is overall screen time.

they have less.

it’s not the sanvers show.

that’s really all i have to say about it. would more screen time fix a lot of the above? possibly. is it unreasonable to expect more screen time for the two of them from this show? yeah, i think so. of course we need more queer women on tv, and we should absolutely, absolutely demand more. we should demand shows with queer women as the lead. (watch the good fight! htgawm! black sails! queen sugar! don’t watch the loo. demand more!) demand more queer women characters! we did with supergirl, and they gave us alex. but keep in mind that alex isn’t the lead and that she has a lot going on as a character. the amount of time they’re going to get is pretty much predetermined. the focus should be on what they do with that time. i’m ready and excited to see what that is.

#anonymous #sanvers #otp: last names only

[soapy-goes-to-hollywood]

Not-Ben's-Fault Anon

OK, let’s try this way. sofew became the RCG, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, hw/pr made him do it. The engagement was posted in the paper, sofew did it to hi-jack more time in front of the cameras, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault even though he could have redacted it. sofew showed up on the RC pregnant, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, even though he could have called a “NOT HIS” and walked away right then. (1/9) 

 sofew/hw/pr wanted a romantic St. Valentine’s Day wedding and to tell the entire world about every detail so he’d win the Oscar, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, even though he could have just not shown up. Ben lost the Oscar to an entirely drab performance by ER, but it wasn’t Bens fault, it was because of sofew/hw/pr making him look ridiculous. (2/9) 

Then Ben took part in many, many paid pap events; first with sofew pregnant, and then with somebody’s baby, clearly set up because either or both of them stared right into the camera, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, it was sofew/pr that made him do it. (3/9) 

Then other cast members of both Sherlock and then Dr. Strange were clearly pissed off or just not impressed by Ben’s surly attitude, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, sofew/pr made him that way. Stories started to arise about drug use and lascivious behavior with women who weren’t his wife, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, he needed something to distract him from sofew/pr. Then Ben started looking really old, thin, and haggard, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, sofew/pr was just dragging him down. (4/9) 

Then Enty’s blinds were revealed, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, somebody had planted those one’s which put Ben in a bad light. Hope of getting back the old “dorky” Ben got slimmer and slimmer (and anyway a 40yr old should not act like a teenager trying to be the class clown), but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, he had to keep up the farce because of blackmail, or whatever (we’re not looking closely now because we might see something we don’t like). (5/9)

 Then he started to REALLY shoehorn the happy family into every interview he had, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, sofew, somehow (again, let’s not look closely), now had his balls firmly in her grip. Then sofew got pregnant again, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, sofew/pr really, really wanted this for fucking WHATEVER reasons. (6/9) 

Skeptics started believing that pr interns were secretly reading their blogs (LMAO) because they believed that they were taking notes to pass up the food chain, but it wasn’t Ben’s fault, coincidences just somehow happen. Now, take all of the above, “skeptics”, and just leave in, “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”, “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”, “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”, “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”, “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”, “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”. (7/9) 

OK, I am absolutely convinced that this will never see the light of day in ANY skeptic’s blog (except Ballsy’s when she was still keeping it up, now THAT was a true skeptic’s site), because there are just too many excuses made. Obviously I’m not a nanny, nor am I an anti, nor am I a troll. I used to be a skeptic, astonishingly, but I couldn’t choke down all the shit I kept seeing. Real skeptics like the truth above everything, even a sappy love-sick “skepto-nanny”. (8/9) 

I bet Ballsy would agree whole-heartedly with me if she is still a true skeptic like she was when she first started pointing out all his crap, but I don’t blame her for shutting down, I couldn’t keep it up myself without choking on every “but it wasn’t Ben’s fault”. @benedicts-third-testicle, are you reading this? What do you think? When will it be Ben’s fault? (9/9) <<< [In case Anna didn’t show everyone my actual ask and just “warned” everyone about it without letting anybody see the truth.] 

 Anon, I put it together in one post so that it is a tad easier to read. I don’t know what the others who receive this are going to do but I love sarcasm  😁

The skeptics community consists of several people with different background, languages, culture, believes, upbringing etc. It’s truly a multicultural community so it is to a certain degree understandable that not everyone is on the same page at the same time. Some can tolerate that, others block everyone who has a different opinion or side-eye anything they don’t understand or agree with. It is what it is. 

 I also have to say compared to 2 or 3 years ago the situation has improved already. 😁 Back then it was Mr Perfect who couldn’t possibly do anything wrong at all, today people at least see he’s not Mr. Perfect and are looking for answers why? What has changed?  That Benedict himself might have changed is the most unsettling idea and people don’t like unsettling. That’s human I guess 🤷

[purging-foxfire]

@justdoingweirdthings, I’m your Secret Valentine ~ I hope you like it!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

Warning: It’s under R18, so safe~ As for warnings, there isn’t much but a drunk Dazai, and some and some curse words - Nothing too bad.

He miscalculated. Sighing deeply, he closed his brown eyes, trying to get the images out of his head, but he knew he wouldn’t succeed. How could he? There was just so… much blood. Too much. And then there were the dull eyes staring at him, searching for something in his own cold, brown eyes.

“D-Dazai-san?... I-I d-defeat- “ And then heavy coughs followed and there was more blood, and pained gaps echoed in his ears and - He needed to calm down. Seriously, it was all his fault, his crime, his sin. Chuckling he remembered the conversation he shared with his pupil, before… before everything happened. Atsushi told him he wanted to make him proud – he did. He did, but Dazai wished he didn’t, that he just would have run away, as everything got worse, as the fight turned into torture. Because then the boy wouldn’t spend his time in a hospital, bawling his eyes out, as he realized that he would never again be able to utter a sound. Dazai could clearly remember seeing wires everywhere. Yosano healed him well, but there were somethings even she couldn’t do and whilst Atsushi wasn’t in a deathly condition anymore… The sight of seeing him so valuable broke Dazai all over. So, he walked to the closest bar and drunk the living daylights out of himself, begging for everything only to be a bad, bad dream. But the second he came back to the agency, everyone had an upset look on their face, and he feared the worst. They quickly reassured him, that his pupil was still alive, breathing quite fine. And he sighed in relief, only to realize that the others still didn’t start working or eating sweets or doing something. “Why… are you looking at me like this?” he asked, feeling strangely scared. Then Yosano spoke up, her voice unusually gentle. “Dazai, Atsushi… he is fine, but… he lost his voice.” And he should have known, because he saw the deep wound on the boy’s throat. He really should have been fine, acting like everything was okay and reassuring the others. But he wasn’t fine, and his mask started to crumble after so many years. So, he closed his gaping mouth, turned around and got back to the bar. And now he was there, sitting at the counter, with a half full glass of something strong – probably whisky – and wishing that he would just die of alcohol poisoning. He wasn’t that lucky. After hours and hours of drinking he was thrown out, because the bar was closing. So, he walked aimlessly on the streets, until he ended up in front of the hospital, where Atsushi currently resided. He didn’t go in, couldn’t – it was too much for him. He walked away, not staring back at the building and that’s when he realized it. It hit him like a meteor and the pain was unbearable. Would he ever again be able to look at Atsushi? Dazai feared the answer, as he looked at the ground, his normally cold, knowing eyes filled with uncertainty. 

He woke up with a soundless scream. Even though it didn’t produce sounds, it was strong enough to pierce his throat with an unbearable pain. And then the noise of something akin to coughing filled the room – it shocked him. He didn’t remember coughing like that, didn’t recognize the noise and definitely didn’t like that kind of pain. What happened? He slowly tried to sit up, as he realized that he laid on something soft. White. Everything was white. And then his eyes widened, memories came crashing through his mind, filling him with everything that happened in the past hours. He remembered the knife, he remembered green eyes, he remembered his mentor’s order. Right, his throat has been cut with a knife. How was he still alive? Rushing steps echoed outside the room, and the door was opened in a haste. Yosano stood there, purple eyes looking at him with mild concern and relief. “You’re awake. How… how are you feeling?” It was a dreaded question, he realized through the tone of her voice and the careful way she spoke. Yosano didn’t want to ask but had to. And he tried to answer, tried to say something, to tell her he was okay. Only to realize that he wasn’t, because there was no sound coming out of his mouth. It left him somehow empty and that’s when he noticed how hard the doctor was gripping the door handle. She is suffering just as much… And then Atsushi looked into her purple eyes and smiled gently. He wanted to open his mouth and assure her that he was okay, but he couldn’t. So, he had to do it in another way. Yosano closed her eyes at his smile, but stopped gripping the handle and that was everything he needed to know that she was going to be okay. Some minutes later, she left, telling him that she would come check upon him later. Once she closed the door, Atsushi’s smile slowly fell and he started to shake. Now where Yosano wasn’t there to see, he stopped pretending to be fine, and realization hit him hard. There was nothing fine. Tears poured down his cheeks, and he wanted so badly to scream, but his eyes started to develop a burning sensation and he closed them, grasping the white blankets. It hurt. It hurt. It pained him to know, that he never would be able to utter a word, say a sentence, communicate through speaking with other people. That he would need to change his life and adjust to another lifestyle - but he was okay with that. Agency members and even Akutagawa visited him and told him, in their own wicked ways, to get better. And it reminded him that he had worse, that he survived once and that he could survive a second time for sure. Though the pain still didn’t fully go away. Especially, as he noticed that among of all his visitors, a suicidal man failed to show up.

- 3 Days Later -

He realized that Dazai Osamu was the best at running away. It wasn’t unexpected, as Atsushi understood how the man tried to hold a specific distance to his own emotions or anything unknown to him. Really, Dazai was known for being emotionless and fearless, but in truth he was just good at ignoring his feelings, and preparing himself for everything, to the point he had enough knowledge to know what would happen next and how everything would turn out. It still hurt to know, that the man decided Atsushi simply wasn’t worth it, to stop running away and face the pain. He wasn’t exactly sure why his mentor didn’t want to visit him. Of course, his mind took this chance as fast as it could, to bring his insecurities up once again. You’re even more useless than before, it seemed to whisper to him and he tried to remind himself that he wasn’t. But in the end those thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone. He heard the sound of a knock, and someone opened the door. The person walked to stand before him. It was Akutagawa. And it made him sigh in relief, if he were to be honest. How cruel his thoughts might have been, they wouldn’t have changed that fast. After all Akutagawa, besides Ranpo, was the only person, who wouldn’t treat him with much difference. Maybe that had to do with them still being partners. Everyone tried to sugarcoat everything in his presence, and treated him much too kindly, as if he couldn’t do anything by himself. It brought his insecurities to a new level and only Akutagawa and Ranpo seemed to know that fact, as they still treated him like before. “Has that suicidal idiot still not visited?” His partner’s voice startled him, and he looked up into the dark eyes of Akutagawa. Then the question registered in his mind and he shook his head softly. Atsushi noticed how the mafia member frowned at this. Maybe it was out of concern, or Akutagawa realized that his former mentor was running away. It was probably the latter, but it didn't matter either way, in the end Akutagawa would politely bid goodbye and leave him alone. And Atsushi would smile bitterly, and stare at the place his partner stood before, knowing the dark-haired boy only left, because he could see himself in Atsushi. All abandoned by Dazai, like an useless toy that no one needed anymore. And yet a part of him still hoped, that the person he respected so much, would come and tell Atsushi he did good, reassure him he was strong. Tell him the torture wasn't for nothing. But reality was as harsh as a punch in the face, he came to realize two days later, as he held a notebook and a pen. His new way to communicate with everyone else. Atsushi thought both were futile, as his brown-haired mentor failed to visit him just once.

Dazai Osamu wasn't supposed to sit in a bar. Dazai Osamu wasn't supposed to look like someone killed his puppy (not that it would have affected him that much, really). Dazai Osamu wasn't supposed to drink himself unconscious, like he did. There was some much wrong about that sight, and he couldn't stand it. It pissed him off. So Chuuya did the only thing he could think of. He threw a bottle at the bandage-wasting device's face, wishing that he would just fall over dead. And by the way Akutagawa's eyes lit up, he approved. His dark blue eyes observed how that bastard flew from his chair, followed by the sound of glass breaking and suddenly he felt so, so much better. Maybe the day wouldn't end bad, despite having seen that asshole's face. Then, minutes later he looked at the empty brown eyes and wondered what exactly happened in the past days, that Dazai tried to drink himself to death and that the brat, Akutagawa, felt the need to show him that scene. "Asshole," he greeted. "What the hell are you doing, wasting away in some fucking bar?" That bastard only blinked, and then muttered, "Unimportant." Apparently, that was the last straw to the brat's nerves, as Rashoumon was shoving his former partner against a wall. "You," Akutagawa hissed, "are going to pay that idiot a visit. I'm tired of your shit." And by the way his voice sounded, he really was. And then Chuuya realized something. He remembered rumors about a murderer with green eyes and the ability to use sharp objects in many, many different ways. He remembered a boy with messy hair and sunset-colored eyes. Punching that bandage-wasting bastard, felt like heaven. Looking at the blood pouring down the bastard’s face, the mafia executive nodded to himself, feeling a bit satisfied by his work. “Why?” The idiot found the decency to ask. And it made Chuuya sigh and wonder how he survived a partnership with that emotionless pile of shit. Had that idiot not learnt one or two things about feelings, once he joined that godforsaken agency? “Asshole,” he said, trying to refrain himself for ordering some alcohol, and ignoring the whole situation. “You really need to stop being a robot.” “Stupid, that doesn’t answer my question…,” the agency member muttered. Chuuya raised an eyebrow at him, wondering how wasted his former partner really was. “Not my problem. In the end the answer is anyway something, you should find out for yourself.” Then he turned around, like the grace he was and walked away, to stop in the middle of the room. “Go visit that tiger of yours. He probably has the answers. And don’t get too wasted! Killing you won’t be fun, if you don’t feel anything.” With that he exited the bar, leaving behind a stunned mafia member and a madly chuckling agency member.

“Didn’t we tell you that he already left the hospital?” Dazai looked at Ranpo, smirking slightly. “I was too drunk to realize.” “Idiot,” scoffed the detective, but then he started grinning slyly. “The room is still not cleaned.” And with a knowing gaze, the childish man left him alone, before the door of his pupil’s former room. “It isn’t?” he wondered, opening the door and walking in. “How fortune for me.” Looking at the white room, and the used sheets he pondered how Atsushi must have felt, spending one week in here, unable to speak and all alone. How he must have felt without mentor, without the one person he admired. Dazai opened the window and enjoyed the breeze entering the room. He closed his eyes, wondering where he did go wrong. And slowly he started doubting his decision to ignore his pupil. He was indirectly the reason Atsushi was mute after all. But could he still interact with Atsushi, fix the whole mess, knowing the consequences of these actions? Could he afford to look at the boy, whilst thoughts and feelings that shouldn’t exist, lingered in the back of his mind? No, he couldn’t. But that was his brain’s answer, his heart screamed something completely other – Yes, he could. And he would. One day later he stood before Atsuhi’s apartment, knocking on the door. There was no reason to ring the bell, Atsushi would understand.

Getting back to work without a voice was… unique, but passable. He had to tip people on the shoulder to get their attention, and there were some worried glances and offers for help (which he greatly despised, but luckily, there was Ranpo, reminding everyone that Atsushi wouldn’t die of doing his paperwork. Also, Kunikida slowly started to realize, that Atsushi could handle everything more or less), but in the end nothing much changed. He still could do his paperwork. He still did Dazai’s paperwork, whilst that guy was missing (though if he believed the rumors, that guy was wasting away in some bar). In fact, the only things that changed were his sign language lessons by Ranpo (that guy had a lot diverse hobbies and skills) and the continued use of a notebook as communication. It was annoying, but at least his grammar improved greatly. At the end of the day, he lived one as if nothing changed and continued to smile, used to the change. But that was at the agency. In his apartment where he was alone, things were a lot different. In the end, he still couldn’t cope with the loss of his voice, but he cared too much about the others to mope about it. Whenever he wanted to cry, there was someone reminding him, that they were suffering too. But there was no one in his apartment. So, he spent his time there, wondering if he deserved that fate. A part of him screamed yes, another was unsure. And a small voice in the back of his mind asked him where his stupid mentor was and shouted that he should be there, comforting Atsushi. It was the lovesick part of him, that still hasn’t gotten over the fact, that his mentor clearly didn’t love him. At nights he would look at the starry sky, while writing things down in his notebook to practice. He didn't learn how to write in the orphanage and whilst the agency taught him as good as they could, Atsushi still had problems with the grammar. He sighed as he looked at the words written in his book. I hate you, Dazai... stop running away, idiot. (He was a lovesick tiger.) Then he heard the knocking on the door and closed the notebook, as he stood up to open the door. And a part of him wished he didn't.

Both sat in the living room, unsure what to do. It frustrated Dazai even more. He came here to talk, to apologize, but he just couldn't bring himself to say anything. Because he knew Atsushi wouldn't be able to respond (and he was at fault). He had seen the look in Atsushi's eyes, as he opened the door. Dazai was unwelcome (and yet he stayed). Then he heard the sound of quiet scratching. Atsushi was writing something. As his pupil - Was he still his pupil? - finished, he shoved the notebook into his arms. Dazai blinked at the words written on it, unconsciously bitting his lip. You're really cruel, Dazai-san. Gently, he took the pen out of the other's hands and started to write a reply, before returning the book. I know. He didn't glance at Atsush, he couldn't. Seconds later the book was back in his hands. Use your voice, Dazai-san. Because I can't, was left unspoken. But Dazai didn't, only shook his head, as he closed his eyes. He couldn't speak, he feared it. How must Atsushi feel whenever he heard som- no, Dazai speak? Knowing that he couldn't. Suddenly, the book was on his lap and he opened his eyes, too scared of the words he would read. And he was right. Please That word stood there all alone and yet it broke him. He must have begged so much, a voice whispered in his mind. He must have begged so much for the pain to stop. And without a warning tears started to pour his cheeks down. All his walls torn apart. "I'm sorry, Atsushi!" he screamed. "I'm so sorry!" But the boy only shook his head, before writing something down. Then he held up the notebook and Dazai's hazel eyes widened at the words standing there. You have a beautiful voice, Dazai-san. It's very soothing, so please continue to use it. For a moment he starred, letting the silence surrounded them, but then he spoke up, determination in his eyes. And he told Atsushi the tale of his thoughts, of his visits to some bar, of Akutagawa and Chuuya's concern (more or less). He told him of everything.

Hours later Atsushi feel asleep, snuggled into his mentor's secure embrace. Atsushi was practically made of warmth and Dazai couldn't be happier with the chance to be that close to the boy. But everything had to wait. His desires, Atsushi's desires and everything they wished for had to wait a bit longer. Atsushi's mind was not stable enough, and neither was his. Both still had to struggle with fears and worries, and it would take awhile. But, he thought, his hazel eyes glancing at the sleeping boy, I don't mind waiting the eternity, as long as I'm with you. And something told him, that the other made the same promise. A promise which would be fulfilled after spring passed, after summer passed, after autumn passed and after winter passed. But for now they would be fine with warm hugs and little pecks on the forehead and on the cheek, as they spend their evening, sorting their problems out, whilst drinking coffee and warm chocolate. Together. The three scared words, could continue to reside in their minds for awhile. (I love you.)

#dazatsu valentine exchange #bungou stray dogs #dazatsu #bsd #dazushi #osamu dazai #atsushi nakajima